P a g e | 1 P a g e | 2

TOO MANY BRIDES FOR

By Ron Nicol

Based on ’s “Dracula”

CAST (in order of appearance) , a young English solicitor Young Woman / Second Bride Mina Murray, Jonathan’s fiancée , Mina’s friend First Bride Third Bride Mrs Swales, an old woman Arthur Holmwood, Lucy’s admirer Mrs Westenra, Lucy’s mother Doctor , a scientist

Doctor Van Helsing can be male or female. The roles of Mrs Swales and Mrs Westenra can be doubled.

Time: 1890

Setting: Count Dracula’s castle in Transylvania and Mrs Westenra’s garden in England

A bare stage except for a garden bench DR and an ornate chair DL with a small table beside it. Darkest Transylvania. Midnight. Thunder. Lightning. Wolves howling in the distance. Jonathan enters R carrying a carpet bag or small travel case. A Young Woman rushes on from L, backing away as she sees Jonathan

Jonathan I say! Young woman! Excuse me! I wonder if you can help me. I’m from England. I’ve been travelling for days – and now I’m here at last - in darkest Transylvania. Woman Where are you going? Jonathan To . Woman You are at the very gates of Castle Dracula! Go no further!

A bell begins to toll

Listen! The bell tolls midnight – and many strange things happen at midnight in darkest Transylvania! Don’t go! I beg of you! Jonathan I must. I’ve an appointment with Count Dracula.

The Young Woman takes a cross on a chain from around her neck

Woman Then take this. It will protect you - a little! (Doubtfully) Perhaps. Maybe. Possibly. Possibly not. Give it a try, anyway.

The Young Woman puts the cross round Jonathan’s neck, and rushes off R. The tolling of the bell stops. A wolf snarls nearby. The Young Woman screams off R. Thunder rolls. Lightning flashes. Count Dracula enters UL and stands in the shadows, wiping his lips with a handkerchief

Jonathan What was that? Hello there! I say! Hello! Is there anybody there? P a g e | 3

Wolves howl in the distance. Dracula steps forward from the shadows and listens, enraptured

Dracula Ah! The children of the night. What music they make. Jonathan I say! They sound jolly frightening. Dracula Ah - you dwellers in the city cannot enter into the feelings of the hunter.

Dracula bares his teeth. Jonathan recoils, but Dracula quickly turns his snarl into a gracious smile

Do not fear me. I do not eat, I merely – drink.

Dracula wipes his lips with his handkerchief, realises that the handkerchief is stained with blood and hastily conceals it

Jonathan Er – good evening. Are you Count Dracula?

Dracula inclines his head briefly

I’m Jonathan Harker. A solicitor. From Hawkins, Hawkins, Hawkins... (counts on his fingers) ...and Hawkins. Mr Hawkins sent me.

Dracula stares silently for a while, then speaks in carefully enunciated English with just a trace of an accent

Dracula Come in, Mr Harker. Welcome to my house.

The sound of a door creaking open. Light increases L and fades R

Enter freely and of your own will. Come freely. Go safely.

Jonathan moves L, tripping over an invisible doorstep. Dracula puts out a hand to save him

Safely, my friend.

The door shuts with an echoing slam

Sit.

Jonathan looks for a chair, but Dracula is standing in front of it. Dracula steps aside and indicates the chair DL. Jonathan sits

Now, you are come from Mr Hawkins to tell me about my new estate in England which you have procured for me.

Jonathan takes several documents out of his case. As Jonathan looks down at the documents, Dracula leans forward and examines Jonathan’s neck

Jonathan The estate’s called Carfax. The house dates back to medieval times. Dracula Excellent. I am of an old family, and to live in a new house would kill me.

Dracula raises his hands and is about to put them around Jonathan’s neck, but drops them as Jonathan turns to look at him

Jonathan It’s built of thick stone. Only a few windows – barred with iron. Very dark and gloomy. Dracula Good. I love deep shadows and the dark.

Jonathan looks down and Dracula leans forward

Jonathan The house has been empty for years. It’s not in very good condition, I’m afraid.

Dracula seems about to bite Jonathan’s neck, but straightens as Jonathan turns his head P a g e | 4

Dracula Never mind, a house cannot be made habitable in a day – and after all, how few days go to make up a century? Jonathan Ah yes, I nearly forgot - there’s an old chapel in the grounds.

Dracula steps back, hastily concealing a snarl

I say. Is there something wrong?

Dracula recovers his presence of mind and smiles gruesomely

Dracula Ah no, my friend. It is merely that we Transylvanian nobles love not to think our bones may lie amongst the common dead. The house seems ideal for my purposes. Good. Our business is done.

As Jonathan folds the documents Dracula leans forward to bite Jonathan’s neck. At the same moment Jonathan rises to put the papers into his case and his shoulder hits Dracula under the chin. Dracula smothers a curse, and hastily recovers as Jonathan turns

All is prepared. You will find your room through there. (He points off DL) You may go anywhere you wish in my castle, except where the doors are locked - and there of course you will not wish to go. Whatever you may see that you may think strange, rest assured there is a reason that things are as they are. There shall be to you many strange things, for our ways are not your ways. We are in darkest Transylvania, and Transylvania is not England.

A cock crows off. Dracula seems anxious to be away

It is morning already – I did not realise it was so late. I must fly.

Dracula moves his arms under his cloak in flying movements and exits UL with a swirl of his cloak. Jonathan lifts his case and exits L as the lights fade to blackout. Bright lighting comes up and birds sing in the background as Mina enters R with Lucy. Both are fashionable but rather affected young ladies. They cross to the bench DR. In perfect unison each pulls a handkerchief from her sleeve and dusts the bench before sitting. Each daintily crosses her ankles and carefully spreads out her skirts to make as attractive a picture as possible. Only when they’re posed as they were taught in charm school do they look at each other, smile brightly, and begin the dialogue. They’re seated so that the focus is on Mina

Mina Oh Lucy, Jonathan’s been away so long. I had a letter from him when he landed in Europe. He was so sea-sick, poor lamb, and do you know, when he went to the toilets they were so dirty – no toilet paper and nowhere to wash your hands!

In unison Mina and Lucy look at their own hands, glance at each other’s hands, shudder, and wipe their hands on their skirts. Until this point Lucy has reacted enthusiastically to what is being said, but as Mina shows no sign of stopping Lucy becomes increasingly bored. Her head droops and at times she almost seems to be nodding off, recovering each time with an effort

Since he arrived in Transylvania I haven’t heard a thing. Oh, I must tell you – when we’re married I’ll be able to help Jonathan with his work. I’ve been learning shorthand, you see, and I’ll be able to type all his letters for him because I’m learning to type as well. And I’ve been keeping a diary. I write all my thoughts down in case I forget anything. Do you know, with a little practice, one can remember absolutely everything one hears said during an entire day! Oh, and I’ve started teaching. But it’s very trying. So much work! And the children – they’re so boring! I tried to tell them about Jonathan, and about learning shorthand and typing and keeping a diary - but they didn’t seem interested at all.

Lucy (bored) I wonder why! Mina But I mustn’t keep on talking. Lucy No indeed! Mina Tell me about yourself. I’ve heard rumours about a handsome young man.

Lucy seizes her chance. In unison they re-arrange their skirts and strike another attractive pose, this time with the focus on Lucy P a g e | 5

Lucy That’s Arthur Holmwood. He’s so handsome, and so rich, and he gets on so well with Mother. He’s got a friend called Doctor Seward who’s a doctor. He’s in charge of a whole lunatic asylum! He’s so clever, and so handsome and so rich. He’d be just right for you – if you didn’t have Jonathan, of course. Mina Oh, Lucy, I’m so worried about Jonathan ... Lucy (breaking in hurriedly) Don’t worry about Jonathan! Let’s walk for a while and I’ll tell you all about Arthur and Doctor Seward. They’re both so handsome, and so clever and so rich. Oh, why can't a girl marry several men at once and save the trouble of having to choose between them?

Lucy seizes Mina’s hand and drags her off R as the lighting fades to blackout. A clap of thunder. Subdued lighting is restored as Jonathan enters L followed by Dracula

Dracula Can I get you anything, Mr Harker? Jonathan I’d like to write some letters home – to Mr Hawkins and to my fiancée.

Dracula clicks his fingers. A hand appears from the wings with pen, ink, and paper on a silver tray. The tray could include a small bowl of fake blood for Jonathan to unobtrusively dip into for his cut finger. Dracula takes the tray and gives it to Jonathan. The hand withdraws. Jonathan sits on the chair DL, placing the writing materials on the table beside him

Dracula You will need a candle, perhaps. Jonathan It doesn’t matter, it’s light enough.

The light abruptly dims

Dracula Night comes quickly in Transylvania.

Dracula silently moves behind Jonathan and reads over his shoulder as he writes

I trust you do not write of things other than business in your letter.

Jonathan guiltily tries to cover the letter

Jonathan Of course not - but I must also write to Mina. Dracula Mina? Jonathan My fiancée. Look, I’ve got a photograph.

Jonathan takes out a photograph of Mina and shows it to Dracula, who takes it and looks at it closely

Dracula Ah! Your fiancée. She is beautiful. She is to be your bride, yes?

Dracula caresses the photograph and stealthily slips it into his pocket, unseen by Jonathan

Finish your letters and I will see they are – dealt with. You find everything is as you wish? Jonathan Well – everything seems to be locked. Dracula You have your room, and this one – is that not enough? You have no wish to pry into what does not concern you, I hope. Jonathan Oh I say, of course not, but... Dracula Everything is for your welfare. This castle is very old and may be dangerous to those who stray. Let me advise you - if by any chance you wander at night and feel sleep overcome you, make your way to your own chamber at speed. Do not fall asleep anywhere but in your own room. There are strange dreams for those who sleep unwisely. Be warned.

Jonathan has finished his letter and starts to fold it, but suddenly winces and drops it

What is amiss? Jonathan It’s nothing. Merely a paper cut. Dracula You have cut yourself? Jonathan My finger’s bleeding. Look. P a g e | 6

Jonathan holds out his finger. Dracula sees the blood and his eyes blaze with demonic passion. He seizes Jonathan’s finger and raises it to his lips

I say, old chap! Steady on!

Dracula sees the cross around Jonathan’s neck and starts back

Dracula What is that about your neck? Jonathan Only a cross. A young lady gave it to me. Look.

Jonathan holds the cross out to Dracula, who recoils

I’m sorry. Is there something wrong? Dracula Take care how you cut yourself. It is more dangerous than you think in darkest Transylvania.

Dracula sweeps out L

Jonathan By Jove! What was that about? He’s a strange old boy and no mistake. The sooner I get out of here the better.

Too Many Brides for Dracula Ron Nicol’s gothic tale of and the Undead has a cast of four male and six female parts (with doubling).

“Prolific Scottish playwright Ron Nicol pays homage to Bram Stoker in this highly amusing version of the Dracula legend.” - Scene (February 2016)

Plot Summary Jonathan Harker visits Transylvania to meet Count Dracula, and has become a changed man when he returns to his fiancée Mina in England. When Dracula also arrives in England, Mina’s best friend Lucy Westenra mysteriously becomes ill. Doctor Van Helsing, a specialist in obscure diseases, is sent for. The Doctor suspects Dracula of being the cause of Lucy’s illness and determines to track the evil Count to his lair. After much confusion – and a great deal of hilarity - Dracula is defeated.

“So how do you prefer your stake - rare, medium or well done?” - Stephen Lambert, Scene

Running time: 45-50 minutes.

ISBN 978-1-907307-86-7