thea wilfridCord laurier student publication volume xxxvi issue 11 thursday, nov. 11,1993
INSIDE
news Taco Bell says goodbye to Laurier Pg3
sports Rich Newbrough retires Pg. 9
feature To eat meat or not to eat meat, that is the question —.pg. 14
entertainment Beer Chat samples discount brew Pg-19
cover photo : by Aaron Betik Taco Bell rests in peace due to poor sales jujla stuaeirfafes j4 'yj inm \Li r F "1 I ITHURSDW^N^FRIDAYSI I I MIIM. I I
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\ 112 rawer ™ ' E E_?A 5 ___ _ sp tF^ 2 __ i Ey B -"■■■niMUMlMMMM—WMHH—l——MMilMl—————^—hii——■—miiwiW. JL REMEMBRANCE REMEMBRANCE DAY DAY CEREMONY CEREMONY November 11,11 am November 11,11 am Flagpole, Flagpole, University Avenue, University Avenue, outside TorqueRoom outside Torque Room
• Tribute • Tribute
• Lowering of Flag • Lowering of Flag
• Placing of Wreath • Placing of Wreath
• Silent Prayer • Silent Prayer • Last Post • Last Post Please take time Please take time to remember NEWS to remember Campaigning for kids Save the Children Canada Head to help set up the club. AMAL MOUSSAOUI Office in Toronto, and was invited Most of the money raised Cord News to the Annual General Meeting in from the coin boxes wiii go to Dave Depuis, your average third September. He promised at the nine developing nations around year Political Science student at meeting to start up a group in K-W the world, as well as the India Laurier, did everything that his and to raise more funds than all the Disaster Relief. Save the Chil- fellow students did. "I read the other groups across the country. dren Canada has found from past papers; saw disparities in the world. Although realizing that his experiences that children ben- There are basically two ways to promise might not become reality efit more when projects improve handle it: ignore it or do something by the end of this year, he does the whole community. The about it." hope to have a Save the Children money, therefore, will be di- Depuis, unlike many other Club at Laurier University by then. rected towards setting up vari- people, decided to do something Depuis is working with a ous projects, from day-care cen- about it by starting the Save the friend, Scott Meyer from the Uni- tres to clinics. Children Campaign. versity of Waterloo, in setting up The World Affair Society "If you look at Somalia and the club. The University of West- has already been sponsoring Bosnia, the common denominator ern Ontario is also in the process of Depuis' campaign. The Save the is that children are treated the setting up a club. McGill Univer- Children Club is, however, in worst," Depuis said. "The children sity has just recently and success- the process of becoming a full arc the world's future, so we have fully organized a Save the Chil- fledged Campus Club, but more to be concerned." dren Campus Club. volunteers are definitely needed Save the Children is a world- Currently, Depuis has started before going through the proc- wide organization dedicated to the a fundraising activity by putting ess of Board approval. protection and improvement of the up five coin boxes around the Depuis encourages students rights and the welfare of children school. The coin boxes are located to help out. "A little bit goes a all over the world. Save the Chil- in the Bookstore and the Centre long way," he stresses, ''our ba- dren Canada has over one thou- Spot. "If everybody puts in a quar- sic philosophy is some for more sand volunteers committed to rais- ter once a week, we can raise a rather than more for some." Dave ing funds through various means, great deal of money," Depuis said. can be reached at home by call- from walk-a-thons to charity din- He is hoping that with the height- ing 886-2899. As Dave pointed ners. ened awareness the coin boxes will out before, it is time to stop ig- Dave Depuis contacted the bring, more students will come out noring the Children. The tragedy ofHaiti: Another model ofUS oppression DAVID RAY Today it is in Haiti, but the same The pattern is painfully ob- in other words), the United States an almost fool-proof system for Cord News Commentary pattern of events has been evident vious. Whenever a government government overthrows that govern- retaining the status quo. Recog- Once again, the United States gov- in Chile, Dominican Republic, comes to power that wishes to ment and replaces it with a repres- nizing this fact, the American gov- ernment has seen it fit to destroy Guatemala, Grenada, Panama, represent the interests of the sive dictatorship more in line with ernment has in this manner in- democracy and support the massa- Nicaragua and El Salvador in the majority of the population (a le- American interests. stalled "friendly" governments cre of thousands in Latin America. last twenty years. gitimate democratic government, A cycle of violence inevitably throughout the globe. follows. In the face of wide-spread This view of American foreign public opposition, the new regime policy is not a view commonly Tolling the Bell for festive cuisine invariably resorts to intimidation, held by the North American pub- violence and murder to secure and lic, nor is it reflected in the mass AMANDA DOWLING tives to Dining Hall cuisine. extend its power. Campaigns of state media which claims to represent Cord News Wilf's offers food, but does not accept meal terrorism systematically seek to un- them. This is to be expected. Few Laurier students have to go further to "make a run for cards. dermine all democratic institutions Americans would condone the ac- the border" since the closing of the Taco Bell cart on The cart which costs $35 000 to purchase within thestate; inevitably thousands tions of their government if they was a was November 5. , outright, rented to the University for trial are jailed, tortured and killed in the realized what being done in The cart, which once graced the south-west cor- period by Taco Bell California. Sales between process. their name. ner of the Torque Room was removed due to lack of $7 500 and $8 000 were needed in order for the cart The United States, the source of It is therefore necessary for revenue, leaving Mr. Submarine, The Second Cup, to be financially viable. Revenues averaged a dis- these illegal governments in the first the U.S. government to deceive and Pizza Pizza slices as the sole on-campus alterna- mal $3 000 a week in September and October. place, continues to influence events their citizens; to create myths and The Mr. Submarine cart, on the other hand, is by providing the finances and the distortions (which are readily re- doing well, with revenues averaging just under military hardware necessary for the produced by the mass media) about $7 000 per week. This surprised Cliff Bilyea of dictatorship to carry out these acts the United States and its role in Ancillary Services, the university department re- and to stay in power over the years. world affairs. sponsible for acquiring the carts. If the rare case that the U.S. The myth of American for- Bilyea was told that at universities south of the sponsored regime is ever seriously eign policy, (in stark contrast to border, with both taco and sub carts, tacos outsell threatened by a popular revolution the model laid out above) rests on subs by 50%. Taco Bell California attributes this oran 'anti-American' political party, the notion that the United States is difference to the fact that Canadians have different the U.S. does not hesitate to wade the global champion of democratic eating habits than our American neighbors. into the conflict, guns blazing, to ideals and a proud defender of As of Wednesday, Bilyea had received no restore the primacy of its elite gov- national sovereignty. complaints from angry taco fans. ernment forces . An examination of the situa- Rage on campus over the cart's removal has American motives are simple to tion in Haiti today rapidly dispels been virtually non-existent. "1 don't like it. 1 never understand. Dictatorial governments these myths and reinforces the hard ate there," said Brad Miller, a first year Economics arc employed by U.S. intelligence reality that American foreign Major. "I didn't eat there all the time, it's too agencies to repress the majority of policy regularly seeks to create fattening, but 1 would have liked the option,", said the population. This protects and and support dictatorial terrorstates Alex Lawson, a first year Political Science student. advances American political and throughout the world. Will the cart be replaced with another fast-food economic interests. Haiti is one such terror state. venue? "I'm looking at grab and go food type By utilizingthe institution of the Located in the Caribbean just options," said Bilyea. government as an agent of control, south-east of Cuba, Haiti bears the The Dining Hall plans to offer more Mexican- the U.S. ensures that no other gov- dubious distinction of being the type food to make up for the loss of the cart. ernment can come to power that poorest country in the entire West- No more mexican. Pic: Aaron Betilc Lucky us. would threaten their interests. It is Continued on page 8 4 NEWS THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 & Commentary fails PROSSteveNewsCONS Doak Cord Ranking again Furthermore, the government are being excluded. Obviously, been told that "you learn more out- Or would you rather attend a uni- Maclean's released their third an- may soon allow universities more Maclean's doesn't consider acces- side of the classroom than inside." versity where people talk about nual rating of Canadian universi- freedom in the setting of tuition sibility to be an issue. This is completely ignored by • beer and use "party" as a verb? ties this week, promising an in- rates. All of these will increase Small class size doesn't neces- Maclean's because it cannot be None of these issues which crease in their sales and mixed competition between universities, sarilyreflect on the discussion qual- reduced to statistics. truly give value to the university reactions from high schools and thereby creating an increased de- ity in those classes. A high portion For example, first year is the experience arc addressed by universities around the country. mand for rating systems. offaculty with PhD's does not show first time many people live away Maclean's. However, the Ontario The whole production is an Another effect of the ranking how many professors are good from their parents. This is a vital Government's Public Accounts impotent drama playing with the is the influence it has on the exter- teachers and how many focus only stage in development to adulthood. Committee has recently recom- lives of all Canadian students. nal community. A high rating for a on research. Amount of financing So what is it like to live on, or near mended that the government at- This year, Laurier rated sixth university attracts potential dona- does not show how efficiently and different university campuses? tempt a more comprehensive and out of 23 "Primarily Undergradu- tions, while a low rating can dis- Most classes offer only one less commercialized system for ate Universities." Last year, WLU courage them. These rankings are side of a subject, unless the text- comparing universities. scored fourth. In '91, WLU scored also seen by businesses which con- books provide a different perspec- Meanwhile, you have chosen embarrasingly low (I would rather sequently may prefer the graduates tive from the professor. For a full a university rated sixth (and fall- not bring up the numbers) when of one school to another. understanding of a subject, there- ing), and you can't do anything all of the universities were col- In a time when people are call- fore, you have to go beyond the about it. lected together in one category. ing for increased accountability for class nd actually do some inde- Some intcrestingobservations The main purpose of this pub- most government institutions, the pendent research. There's a lot to can be made, however. First, that lished ranking of universities is to cost ofcompi 1 ing the data seems to be learned from reading. it's not always helpful to trust help high school students make a be well-spent- assuming, of course, Further opportunities for an someone else in a position of au- more educated decision about that the ranking has any real valid- enriching university experience are thority, even if your own opinions which university they choose to ity. Because the methods for col- provided by clubs and organiza- aren't based on many facts. Per- attend. Maclean's is an established lecting this data were established tions around campus. haps the only thing worse than and respected source for the type over the last two years, it only cost Co-op and Internship pro- forming an unfounded judgement of objectivity and experience Laurier about $5 000 this year. grams. which are only mentioned on something is to blindly accept needed for a project such as this. Maclean's ranks universities in passing by Maclean's, can give the judgement of someone else. Many students put a lot of faith in according to several criteria, in- people more practical knowledge It is folly to accept an overly- the conclusions thus drawn. cluding the grades of incoming wisely funds are being used. than most other elements of the simplified view of anything in life. Ranking systems such as this students, class sizes, grants, fi- Ideally, any rating system university. Some jobs are better Despite what the professors insist, one could become more important nances, library assets, and reputa- should reflect what students hope than others at accomplishing this statistics reflect very little infor- as universities become more com- tion. Apparently, these are what to get out of university. For exam- and some universities tend to at- mation about the world and expe- petitive for applicants. give value to a university and the ple, a university may be rated well tract better employers than others. rience of it. In the recent election cam- education received therein. by Maclean's without revealing Perhaps the greatest vehicle All universities have the re- paign, the Reform Party proposed What is not pointed out is that how good any of its particular pro- for sharing ideas and gaining sources to show you the world, but a voucher system for government higher admission averages are grams are compared to other knowledge, as well as advice, is you have to go up to them and open grants to universities. partly caused by an overall rise in schools. Laurier israted sixth; does through conversations with other them if you really want to learn. Some universities have been applications and a decline in ad- that mean that our business, biol- people. Would you choose to go to Beware of people that try to discussing privatization of pro- mittance because of the current ogy, archaeology, phys ed, phi- a university where people talk about give you broad judgements of grams; most notably the Mastersof economic situation. Another inter- losophy, and geography programs Marx and Einstein and the aliena- things in the world. Try not to let Business Administration program pretation of high averages is that a are all rated sixth? I doubt it. tion of citizens from the govern- them take the value out of your at Queen's. larger number of qualified people Mostpeopleat university have ment in modern western society? years here at Lauricr. t ATTENTION STUDENTS 0f)0/tU/O OITnff CjkHis $ FEES FOR DROPPED COURSES $ \II I I* Commencing the Winter Term 1994 and vv • effective for future Spring, Fall and Winter
/\ - Terms a fee for dropping courses be , will ~jj ' WWI |?fS m : *-V * '"-Vi charged based on the following schedule ■ JSCi . ,A
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- MUSIC - COOKBOOKS BIOGRAPHIES \ l| 1| h O - -0.T3 -0.T3 O O 3 H 100 A * 2.32.533-ohn lyyf % CD CTQ CD CTQ ~p CALENDARS I I§ |§ h »«ase some » |s 2.1? % o So 1 • I IMOUt r. 2. t» 1-1 p 1-1 1112 v3 TJOOGCS - 1 eai-ecR YUOD Y i I? !! 1 u % ? I!« W \ . «S if ss- catalogue « 45 45 45- V O T3 CD CD CD fwuJ) BOOKSTORE I s IN THE CONCOURSE I THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 NEWS 5 Big Honking Bag O' Crime Calling forUN to end in East Straight from the offices ofJohn Baal, sexual harassment cases far better protection then in warring Timor Laurier's Security the past. (See below) Chief of LIBBI HOOD nesia's occupation of East Timor, - - 20:10 : Medical Assist Nov. 5 01:30: Disturbance Nov. 1 Cord News occured on December 12, 1975, A WLU professor who reportedly collapsed upon Security was summoned to the Student Union quad The monthly meeting of the but nothing was done. conclusion of his lecture requested Security to to break up a fight between several pub patrons. A Kitchener-Waterloo Amnesty Canada abstained in that vote, transport him to his residence. The subject indi- large crowd had gathered and several of the specta- International group was held on as well as subsequent votes. In cated that he never lost consciousness. Feeling tors intervened to pull the combatants apart. All Thursday November 4, 1993 at United Nations votes in 1980 and faint, he laid down on the floor to prevent falling. parties involved in the fight were escorted off cam- 7:3opm in the Kitchener-Water- 1982, Canada opposed Indonesian Nov. 3 - 00:20 : Mischief pus. No charges were laid. loo Library Auditorium. withdrawal from East Timor. A WLU employee reported observing two males Nov. 5 - 11:15: Counterfeit Currency The guest speaker was Dr. Eglin believes the situation in a University traffic sign out of the ground and A university employee reported that he had in his pull Peter Eglin, Chair of the Faculty East Timor was allowed to happen abscond with it into a nearby residence. Security posession a twenty dollar bill which he believed to be of Sociology at Wilfrid Laurier because of Indonesia's economic cheched the building but was unable to locate the a counterfeit. Investigation established that the bill University. The topic of the lec- importance to the Western world. sign. Sign was later found outside the rear entrance was indeed a forgery. The WRP Fraud Squad are ture was the ongoing turmoil in Indonesia is open to investment by of Willison Hall. investigating the matter. East Timor. the United States and is a country - Nov. 3 - 04:05 : Suspicious Persons Nov. 5 11:45: MVA East Timor has been occu- rich in resources. Whilst in the vicinity of King & Univer- Three vehicles parked in Lot #7 were damaged when patrolling pied by Indonesia for eighteen Eglin also said that Canada is sity, the officer noticed the clerk in the"7-Eleven" a motorist lost control of his vehicle. The driver was years. Indonesia invaded on De- in a position to actually make a store him through the window. Upon not injured. The other vehicles were parked unat- signalling cember 7, 1975. Timorese peo- difference in East Timor. Eglin approaching her, the officer noticed a male outside tended. ples were then placed in concen- said that Canada has invested $1.4 near the telephone and a second unsavoury Nov. 6 - 23:10: Disturbance public tration camps and many died there billion in Indonesia andthat Canada male from the store. The store Security was summoned to the Turret to remove an looking exiting from starvation and disease. gives $40-45 million in aid to the employee explained that a few minutes earlier, both inebriated pub patron. While in the process of doing Dr. Eglin calls the occupa- Indonesian government every year. males had brought items from the shelf to the so, several other patrons intervened, resulting in the tion of East Timor a "worst case" Although Canada is a small cashier's counter then refused to pay for them. eviction of seven more patrons. Throughout the because the death toll, at 200 000, country, with not much clout be- When asked to leave, only one left. The other early morning hours, security had to contend with is almost one third of the original yond its good reputation, Eglin remained inside, leaving only when he noticed the the unruly behavior of inebriated Turret clientele population of 700 000. said that if Canada did take a stand officer approach the store. WRP was summoned to who lingered about the campus long after pub clos- This is the highest ratio of on the situation in East Timor, it further deal with the suspects. ing. The two duty officers, overwhelmed by the vast death to total population of all would be "followed by nature of Nov. 3 - 14:05 : Theft numbers of the crowd and concerned about the military actions since the holo- our reputation." A WLU student reported the theft of his jacket. The eruption ofphysical violence, called Regional Police caust. Eglin said that although East complainant stated that on Friday, Oct. 22, he was to assist them in dispersing the crowd consisting East Timor is officially Timor is out of the news, the situ- suddenly compelled to leave the Turret, leaving his mostly of non-University affiliated persons. termed a "former colony" of Por- ation is still bad and is probably coat in the Cloak Room. Several days later, he tugal. Portuguese rule pulled out getting worse. On the other hand, returned to claim his coat and discovered that some- Exerpt of Martin's Criminal Code Supplement of the colonies in East Timor in the United Nations Human Rights one had taken the garment. Section 264 (new Provision) 1974. Sub-commission is finally con- Nov. 4 - 15:15 : Accidental injury New 1993, c. 45, s. 2 The United Nations then be- demning Indonesian occupation in A WLU student sustained laceration to his left gan to form a country of inde- East Timor. elbow and right hand when he fell off his bike in Lot CRIMINAL HARASSMENT/ Prohibited conduct/ pendent rule until the Indonesian Eglin also said Bill Clinton is # 10. The bike's frame and front wheel were dam- Punishment invasion. the first U.S. President to state he aged. The victim stated that he rode his bike down 264.(1) No person shall, without lawful authority Eglin said the first United doesn't like what is happening in the embankment between Lot #10 & Lot #11, and knowing that another person is harassed or Nations vote, condemning Indo- East Timor. hitting the cement curb at the base of the Berm. The recklessly as to whether the other person is harassed, student is of the opinion that he could have avoided engage in conduct referred to in subsection (2) that the accident if the cement curb had not been ob- causes that other person reasonably, in all the cir- scured by grass. cumstances, to fear for the safety of anyone known Foot Patrol turns one
Nov. 4 - 23:55 : Assault to them. A 22 year old WLU student was taken into custody (2) The conduct mentioned in subsection (1) consists for assaulting two Turret patrons. The altercation of started when the inebriated suspect began pushing (a) repeatedly following from place to place the another pub patron whom he perceived as a rival to other person or anyone known to them; a female aquaintance. When another pub patron (b) repeatedly communicating with, either di- intervened he was promptly knocked out by the rectly or indirectly, the other person or anyone suspect who obviously considered the lady as his known to them; personal property. Considerable force was neces- (c) besetting or watching the dwelling-house, or sary to subdue the suspect and evict him from the place where the other person, or anyone known to Turret. them, resides, works, carries on business or happens The matter is still under investigation and charges to be; or are being considered. The third victim, apprehen- (d) engaging in threatening conduct directed at sive about her former boyfriend's behavior, re- the other person or any member of their family. quested a security escourt to her residence. Conse- (3) Every person who contravenes this section is quently, for the benefit of those with the gender guilty of ethics of a rutting bull moose, outlined below is an (a) an indictable offence and is liable to impris- excerpt of a new criminal code provision which onment for a term not esceeding five years; or should cool their fervour. This addition to the (b) an offence punishable on summary convic- Criminal Code of Canada affords the victim(s) in tion. F P volunteers hold a birthday party. Pic: Harvey Luoung
' <§Sl~ PRE-TURREY "1' SR CHICKEN CHOKER CI IMHAY MIGHT > This coupon entitles the bearer to a basket vw 111/r\Illlvn I 1&V of our largest, juiciest order of wings 1 BURGER SPECIAL 1 for only $4 (plus taxes). I 61 00 1 /Ol D I (rt&\ Good only 5-9pm Thursday. I 91.77 l/Z LD. 18/93 1 BURGER & FRIES I - assembled - especially since Co- their minds was brought up a now pretty much all spent- $300 Angelakos also noted that not one tioned why the issue had not been op students graduating in August "Speaker's Corner" that could be 000 went to the new phone system, Board member had personally brought to the Board at a much 1995 would have to wait nine installed in the empty ticket booth $300 000 for furniture to go in the questioned him about his absences. earlier time. MacPhie then cut off months to receive their diplomas. in the Student Union Building near new science building (as yet to be After Angelakos finished his debate on the issue, to the table- It was decided that the stu- the Centre Spot. Students would completed), and $90 000 was alio- report, COD Chair Martin Continued on page 7 Watch for Purple and Gold's Annual SIDEWALK SALE November 16 and 17 from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. in the Concourse Shop early for the greatest selection All sales final. THE CORD Thursday, November 11,1993 NEWS 7 Laurier struttin' its stuff JENN THORNE session will be held. From 10:00 a.m. until 1:30 study will be held open. For more information on par- Cord News The Liaison staff will be avail- p.m., The School of Business and Visitors are asked to remain ticular lectures being opened, or Friday, November the 12th, 1993 able all day to answer any ques- Economics will have some lectures quiet while visiting lectures. Al- any other questions concerning is "Laurier Day Open House." The tions you may have. Students are open to the public. though you are free to come and Laurier Day Open House please day is designed to promote Wilfrid welcome to drop in anytime, even Starting at 11:30a.m. until 2:30 go as you please, you must do so Contact Liaison at (519) 884 -1970 Laurier University and give high just to say hi. p.m. lectures in almost all areas of as respectfully as possible. ext 3385. school students a day off to tour The Faculty of Music will hold the University. a special program and Laurier resi- The students are encouraged dents will be open for tours given Making a spectacle ofthemselves to visit the campus and see what by Laurierstudents.There will also courses are offered here at Laurier. be lectures that you can sit in on. Continued from page 6 until they spoke with each other, over a month ago about Angelakos' Volunteer student guides will There is absolutely no registra- pounding approval of Thibert and in order to ensure that "we don't absences. On a personal level, the be hosting the event. This year's tion needed to attend the Open several others in attendance. get slammed in the Cord". Directors should have confronted "Laurier Day" was organized by House. Everyone is encouraged to The remainder of the session Thibert, however, continued Angelakos directly. To let him be- Donna Teahn and Cathy Kortes. come out and see Laurier. proceeded without incident, with to answer questions. He cited hy- lieve that everything was "a-okay" The day will begin with an Entertainment will be a pres- the adoption of the minutes provid- pocrisy on Chartrand's part. was cowardly. official welcome in the Athletic entation by the cheerleaders and a ing the biggest source of contro- Thibert said that other Directors, The Attendance Policy viola- Complex at 9:00 a.m. Refresh- slide show. A barbecue and an versy. particularly Peter Hearty, had tions should have been brought up ments and final programs will be Admissions and Residence infor- After the meeting, Thibert re- similar problems with attendance, when they were occurring, not af- given to visitors upon arrival. mation seminar as well as a Resi- sponded to Cord questions about but had not been asked to publicly ter the fact. Laurier will be hosting semi- dence open house will take place his dubious statementsregarding a apologize. This raised the ire of The most distressing aspect of nars in the Co-op Business and on Laurier day. Director's responsibility to the stu- Hearty, who insisted that he had this entire episode, though, is the Economics area, as well as an In- The Purple and Gold campus dents. Thibert said he "has confi- never violated the Attendance attitude expressed by Thibert. It is ternship seminar with student pan- memorabilia store will be giving a dence in the Chair to deal with such Policy. Within moments, the two inconceivable why a public repre- ellists. 10% discount on all purchases. The matters". Thibert cited an ultimate Directors were engaged inashout- sentative would be so against ac- There will be campus tours Dining Hall, Torque room, Second responsibility to the students. On a ing match on the Concourse floor. countability to the students. The and an Arts and Science counsel- Cup, and Mr. Sub will be serving realistic matter, Thilbert said at- Hearty blamed his absences Board is not the private realm of ling Fair with Faculty, residents, lunch and snacks. tendance was the responsibility of on a breakdown of communica- fifteen people, managed by the and people from admissions and At 10:30 a.m., the School of the Chair. Fellow Director Rick tion with MacPhie, but Thibert affable MacPhie. It is a public or- financial aid. Business and Economics will be in Wamsteeker attempted to interject refused to accept the Director's gan, in which the Directors are to If students touring have any the Turret. There will be refresh- in the interview, stating that Thibert explanation. Thibert insisted that represent the students. A Director questions, a question and answer ments and guest speakers. should not be discussing the issue Hearty's absences were much cannot adequately represent those more severe but, when Hearty students if he or she is does not asked why, Thibert did not have a attend meetings. reason. The hearty bellows soon Thibert argued that this was a attracted a curious crowd. matter of "fair and equal applica- The issue of Angelakos' at- tion of the law". The Director's tendance is a dead one. It benefits line ofreasoning would imply that, no one to drag the situation out. if one person gets away with mur- The fact that Angelakos offered der, all should. Just because some to apologize to the students, and Directors may have been able to TEACH-IN ON has made repeated attempts to violate the Attendance Policy and explain hisabsence, indicates that get away with it, does not allievate & UN he realizes his mistake. While that other Directors of their BQSNIA THE can't excuse his poor attendance, responsiblity to the students. his efforts are a commendable Chartrand realized this, and AGENDA FOR PEACE step in the right direction. simply asked that the student body While Thibert's claims of hy- receive the same apology that the pocrisy are overblown, one must Board did. Angelakos also real- THE MILITARIZATION j THE GENDERED NATURE question why Chartrand didn't ized this, and was more than will- OF BOSNIA OF VIOLENCE IN BOSNIA bring the issue up earlier. Several ing to offer that apology. What's Directors complained, in private, Thibcrt's excuse? Ernie Regehr Susan Heald Programme Director Project Ploughshares Wilfrid Laurie- University (Peace and Conflict Studios Conrad Moderator Qfebei MoOeraiw College)^ guSan jeffords Golonel H, O. HOSS University of Washington * Director of PeaceKeeping Operations D r-^. , I National Headquarters Department of UOlly DanQUia National Defence University of Pittsburgh Bachelor of Education Marinko * Cvejicanin . Valerie Oosterveld Sodologii' (Toronto) Lawyer The BEd Degree program at Nipissing is a Nedzad -Basic I"*'1"*' Jodi Longos University otTuzla , Amnesty Internationa; one-year limited enrolment program taught (Faculty of international Relations) (Washington D C.) primary/junior, junior/intermediate /||9&ffgfloi3o 10:30-12:30 at and intermediate/senior levels. Our small class size of :: approximately 35 students : jIK EUROPE, BOSNIA & THE UN RE-MAKING A WORLD ORDER? ensures personal attention from I THE UN AGENDA FOR I professors. Our practice teaching policy PEACE AND BOSNiA Thomas Hueglin allows you, in most cases, to choose the 11' W LaurierLJnivefsfty Edgar I| SU7Lr ' OWNED- AMD OPERATED BY STUDENTS | 11 ACCOMMODATIONS frS /B H /■ VI /B \V Have you considered the INC. n9 WATERLOO CO-OPERATIVE RESIDENCE "c vOO 9^S^O<& Is.TUiV Plus to* « " r and H w service charges *" Transportation by deluxe motor coach to Florida _ H . ~, . . , , WCRI OFFERS: , D w W ,lp Full service cruise to the Bahamas. All meals on cruise Z^^JF#• Single rooms within a three or four bedroom apartment (8 month occupancy agreements). Accomodations in Florida and the Bahamas ■ Newly renovated single, large single, or double rooms within a dormitory-style residence (meal -9- in deluxe hotels with pools, A/C, bar, plans included). near shopping and restaurants. • Reasonable rates for all types of accommodations. A variety of optional activities including our famous Pirates cruise, snorkelling, • Adjacent to the University of Waterloo and five minute walk to Wilfrid Laurier University. deep sea fishing, scuba, parasailing, golf IWE $ • An alternative living environment to University-owned housing and democratically controlled by tour hosts while in Florida Sun, surf, sand and in • Community atmosphere lUr • Employment t, opportunities. % 2* ' • . Weaver's Arms Pub and Restaurant. _ sjr •■! t /' r - * . , • Ji #w« • BROCHU«r Organized social and recreational activities. , IX?>* v aL " c ~ sj&f it, • Inexpensive parking and laundry facilities. .. I , • plans option, bike studycarrels, room, TfQV©l Meal with vegetarian rooms, woodworking games room and ' much, much more ... g bouth Campus Hall "m FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL OR VISIT: ' UniVGPSity Of WatOflOO 263 PHILLIP STREET 888-4054 WATERLOO, ON Or«ano , 05 ; J WW N2L 6G9 % j (519) 884-3670 " SPORTS Newbrough steps down with a victory in the 1991 Vanier off the field. follow. It is that RALPH SPOLTORE Cup which gave Laurier its first From a personal standpoint, 1 characteristic, Cord Sports National Football Championship have been a hugeadmirerof Coach (along with his It's now official. After 26 dedi- ever. It was also in 1991 that Newbrough for over 15 years. He wacky West Vir- cated years, Coach Rich Coach Newbrough was recognized coached my father to a National ginia hot dogstories) Newbrough has resigned from his as Canada's University Football Championship Final in 1968, which that will be most coaching duties at Wilfrid Laurier. Coach of the Year. they unfortunately wound up los- sorely missed on the Newbrough's resignation follows With Newbrough's resignation ing. Coach then found me my first new turf of Seagram a departmental review that recom- as Head Coach, the university has real job in 1983 as a ball-boy for Stadium next sea- mended the separation of the re- begun a national search for a man the Golden Hawks, which was a son by his players sponsibilities of the department that can step in and replace a Lau- huge thrill at the time. But most and coaches. director and head football coach to rier legend. Assistant Coach Rick importantly it was in 1990, my On behalfof the create two full-time positions. Zmich, who has introduced his "Air second year at Laurier, that Coach players 1 wish Coach Newbrough's new title is now Di- Zmich" attack to the rest of the Newbrough disregarded what other Newbrough nothing rector of Athletics and Recreation. league over the past four years, coaches had said or felt about my but the best in his After starring as quarterback appears to be a front-runner for the ability to play the game, and gave role as Athletic Di- in the mid-sixties at Fairmont State Head Coaching duties. me my chance to prove them wrong. rector next year. University in West Virginia, Coach Whoever becomes the new For this I will be forever grateful. However, 1 also want Newbrough came to W.L.U., as an Head Coach of the football team Coach Newbrough realized that 1 to let him know that assistant to ex-teammate Dave will have some very large shoes to was not the fastest or the strongest we will miss that "Tuffy" Knight. It was in 1984 that fill. Coach Newbrough has given receiver available, but he did real- West Virginian ac- Newbrough got his big break by his heart and soul to the football ize that I had other qualities that cent that comes replacing Coach Knight as both program for 26 long years. This is would benefit our team. from a man that we Head Coach and Athletic Director. a man who has dedicated his life to It is Coach Newbrough's be- all know bleeds Pur- Since then, Newbrough has com- making young, raw football play- lief in his players and coaches that ple and Gold. piled an excellent record of 63 ers into strong physical and mental makes him so special. He could "When itcametime wins and only 33 losses. beings. Through his own leader- easily convince a player of lesser to shoot, Coach Coach Newbrough's most suc- ship, he has taught us how to be- talent that difficulties could be over- Newbrough didn't cessful year came late in his career come "Champions" both on and come and that success would soon talk, he shot!" Head Coach Rich Newbrough File pic Hawks ice cross-town Warriors in impressive win PETE ROBINSON record to 3-1. in over a week. Warriors were serving a five- ing throughout the lineup. For the Cord Sports The Hawks counted a goal Any rust that was there in minute major themselves. second straight league game. Lau- The Hawkey Hawks travelled up from Don McConnell in the first to the first was definitely gone in the From that point on. it was ob- rier counted goals from all four the road this past weekend and go up 1-0, when Waterloo tied it second*. Scott Cullen put the Hawks vious that the momentum was in lines and this is particularly pleas- came home with an impressive 7-3 later in the frame. Despite being up 2-1 early in the first. Then with the Hawk's favor, as the third pe- ing to Gowing. "It's important that win over their arch-rivals, the outshot 14-6 in the period, the the score 3-1, the Hawks counted a riod proved to be much of what the wegeteveryone intothegame,and with the Waterloo Warriors. The win was Hawks were not badly outplayed. key goal from Chris George. This second was. Sniper John Spoltore playing well, especially the the second victory over the Warri- It appeared as though they were a came after Laurier had killed off a potted his first of two of the night size of the new ice surface at ors, as the Hawks upped their little rusJ,Y after not having played double minor penalty, and the on a nice breakaway goal, making Rec Complex." The Hawks are the Waterloo goalie look rather next in action tonight at the Rec foolish. Then with the score 6-2, Complex versus Rycrson. Notes: after Spoltore's second goal, Gowing is particularly happy with Andrew Wood rounded out the the play of third year centre Don Hawks scoring with a goal late in McConnell. Aftersome injury set- the third. backs his first two years, Gowing Overall it was a solid effort for feels that the ex-OHLcr is starting the Hawks. Head coach Wayne to come into his own...With the Gowing was quite happy with the win and the Waterloo tic against effortput forth by the team. "We're Western last Friday, the Hawks are really working hard, I think we're one point behind the Mustangs for playingsome very sound hockey," first place in the division...The is how Gowing summed up his Guelph Gryphons are off to a slow team's effort. start this year. However, Guelph What is particularly impres- expects the addition of three more sive so far in the young season, is players at Christmas time, an addi- the depth that the Hawks are show- tion that should help out Moo U. Swim, swim, swim GAVIN BAUER Cord Sports On Friday, the Laurier men's and women's swim teams travelled to York University for a tri-meet against York and Queen's. Due to illness and high school commencement, many of the swimmers were unable to attend, and despite excellent individual performances, the teams came away without a victory. First year Sue Miller continued her outstanding swimming, winning the 100 back, 2001 M and 200 free. Other women's wins were achieved by Sarah Pearsc —50 and 100 free, and Andrea Hillman — 400 free. For the men, David Selberg finished on top in the 200 IM as did Gavin Bauer in the iOO breast, while Trevor McGowan had a solid meet. With a full team compliment, the Laurierswim teams are looking to win the few remaining dual meets, and striving for big improve- Vollering Hawkey Hawks never give up. Pic: Rich ments at the Championship meets in February. 10 SPORTS THE CORD Thursday, November 11,1993 Valiant volley effort PAUL GRAY turn into the next two games, going down 15- PAUL GRAY Cord Sports 5 and 15-9. Cord Sports The Laurierwomen's varsity volleyball team The Volley-Hawks were able to turn it The WLU men's Vol- had their hands full last week as they took on on in the fourth game however, to force a ley-Hawks soared into the Waterloo Athenas at the Waterloo PAC fifth game by humbling a strong Waterloo battle against a strong last week. side 15-6. A victory on this day, though, was Waterloo Warrior team After falling uehind by a whopping 11 - not in the cards for WLU as the Athenas last Friday evening. 1 in the first game, our Volley-Hawks man- carried a 15-8 rally point victory to shoot Unfortunately, the bat- aged to come back and defeat the Athenas by down the Hawks chances. tle-scarred Hawks a final of 17-15. "For a young team withlittle Veteran third year hitter Carrie Ostram couldn't even muster a experience, they played well under pressure lead the Golden Hawk attack with 15 kills. win going down in of such a big deficit," commented head Carrie is definitely one of the team leaders straight sets 15-6, 15- Coach Cookie Leach. Unfortunately, the on this young squad. Julie Westcrmann also 10, and 15-2. team was not able to continue the momen- added 11 kills to her credit in the Golden Two of the Golden Hawk loss. Hawks key players were The team appeared playing injured. Dave to have some trouble Cote, injured in the last with the passing; how- play of the Windsor ever Cookie Leach game had missed prac- went on to say, "I liked tice all week, as well as what I saw. The only Mike Kekich, played mistakes that we made with a charlie-horse suf- had to do with a lack of fered in a practice ear- experience. The only lier in the week. way to fix that is with Regardless of what time." Well, the wom- the scoreboard might say, the men's Volley- en's side has lots of Men's volleyball team hits the wall. p,'c: Eda Di L'so time as the season, as Hawks played very well. of press time, is only They just met up with a brick wall in the form very difficult," mentioned Smith. He went two matches old. of Waterloo power hitter Matthew Reed, on to say, "I'm not trying to make any The ladies take who by the way stands between 6'7" and excuses, Waterloo definitely had the better their show on the road 6'B". "Every time they needed a key point it team on the court that day." for a match against per- seemed that the ball would find a way to The Volley-Hawks travel to Hamilton ennial power house Reed and he would put it right over the top to play the McMaster Marauders on Wednes- McMasteron Wednes- of our blockers," commented Coach Don day evening. They return home on Friday day evening. From Smith. Add one of the country's premier night to play the Western Mustangs at there they return to the setters, Sean Smith, and the Waterloo attack 8:00pm. Both matches should prove to be confines of the WLU was incredibly well rounded. quite interesting, as last season the Hawks Athletic Complex to do Also a hindrance to the Hawks was the played quite impressively against both teams battle against the vile gymatthePAC. It is an incredibly large gym and managed to defeat Western for the first purple horses from with a ceiling that seems to go up for miles. time in several years last year. Come on out Serve, bump, set, spike! Pic: Eda Di Liso Western at six. "If a team isn't used to playing there it can be and cheer the Hawks to victory. I T-SH/RT BUTZ From November 15-30, buy any regular priced T-shirt and receive a second T-shirt (of equal or lesser value) at 50% off*! Only while quantities last!! THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 SPORTS 11 Tamiae hockey action ROB HUMS pre-season favourite. Before be- Geroux, San Jose has propelled games. Dave Robinson, Rob between the pipes, and Trevor Cord Sports ing upset by Detroit in last year's themselves to a team to watch out McGowan and sniper Steve Collins Newell and Mike Jones have both Parity among teams and strong playoffs, Quebec demonstrated for. will undoubtedly ensure that To- shown flashes of brilliance. goaltending represents this year's size, speed and finesse, which they Tampa Bay has also started ronto gets back on track with more Six of eight teams will qualify edition of the Tamiae Hockey appear to have regained this year. well, going 2-1 in their first three wins. for the playoffberths in theTamiae League. Regular season league The 1-1-1 start is slow by their games. Captain Ken Kivell has The 0-3 record that Anaheim Hockey League. If the first three play began in late October, and standards,but with a lineup includ- assembled a strong roster, which currently sports is not at all indica- weeks ofexciting, well-played and after completing three-weeks of ing all-stars Jaret Henhoffer and includes feisty forward Chet Morin tive of their play. They have put close-scoring games are any indi- play, things have gone as expected Dave Sinclair, Quebec is sure to and grinders George Wilson and forward excellent efforts in all of cation, the playoff situation will along with a few surprises. rack up more wins. Jason Spreckley. their games, and theirrecord would not be finalized until the last game Ottawa, defending Mullin- Three years ago, Calgary, with Toronto has struggled some- be noticeably different if not for of the regular season. Watch this Nesbitt Cup champions, has started a roster ofonly freshmen, captured what early in the season with one surrendering leads late in the third column for weekly game coverage quickly with three wins and no the league championship and ap- win in three starts, but still has been period in two of those games. and summaries as well as news losses. They lost some key players peared destined to four-peat; what extremely competitive in all oftheir Daniel Urquhart has been solid from the Tamiae Hockey League. due to graduation. However, with stopped them short was greater perennial all-stars Alan Avery, league balance and some suspect Brad Carnegie and Jason Holman goaltending at times. The loss of Season ending loss to Yeomen providing the offence ahead of all-stars Bill Gourley and Dave Emerson Keung's sparkling 1.00 McGowan hurts, but with Brad CARRIE LOSSITTER T, opened the scoring with a blis- career, grabbing every loose ball, Sports tering low shot the York providing excellent offense and goals against average, Ottawa is Tubman, Rob Bobier and Greg Cord I past once again contending. Rickwood, Calgary remains one of The'93 season ended in a tough 6- goaltender. York responded with defense as well as his usual intimi- A rash of injuries has slowed the league's premier teams. 4 loss for the Laurier lacrosse team two goals of their own to end the dation (and he only got one pen- down last year's finalists, Detroit. One of the surprise contenders when they met the York Yeomen first quarter. Jay "Boom-Boom" alty). Although they surprisingly have this year is San Jose, one of four on Saturday. The team was repre- Mancini blasted in a quick-stick Morgan "The Wall" Goodwill: only a tie and two losses in their new teams in the league this year. senting Laurier at the Ontario fi- goal to tie the game in the second for the second straight year, team first three games, they still look In their three wins against no losses nals in Guelph. quarter. At the half: York 4, Lau- M.V.P. and by far the best goalie in promising with leadership from to date, they have defeated league Aftersufferingdefeatsto York rier 2. the league. He kept the team in the Mike Ponic and the likes of Morgan powerhouses Detroit and Calgary. throughout the year, the team ral- Angry at the start ofthird quar- game on numerous occasions and Goodwill, Pat O'Leary and Mike A veteran-laden team which in- lied and kept the game within one ter, the Laurier Hawks started to should be an easy pick for the Crawford on their roster. cludes MBA-students Bruce goal until the final quarter. Andy really lay down some crushing hits W.L.U. Lacrosse Hall of Fame. For the second year in a row, Hollamby, Tony Romany and Pat Playter of Laurier, coming off a on the York goal-scorers. The The fourth quarter saw both Quebec emerges as the league's Kirby and wily defenseman Jason five goal performance against U of defensive trio of Marty Cornacci, teams exchange two goals with Redwood Willemse and Brent Bear Hanford and Andy Player Sereson rocked the York attack to scoring for Laurier. the point that they became the York It was a fantastic season and "Yellowmen", afraid to come to the graduating veterans would like the net. to thank all you guys for your work Kevin Mitchell-Gill played a solid and dedication and say good luck game both on defense and on to you next year. offense, winning every face-off, Keep an eye open for the la- controlling the ball and setting the crosse teams's "Win Money, Food, tempo for the attack. Todd Circa Clothing and Beer" raffle later this had the best game of his illustrious month. Huge rugby disappointment TED SMITH why we got screwed out of our Cord Sports game. The unofficial story, or my story at least, is that last year we For the second year in a row inflicted so much pain upon Queens the Laurier Club Rugby team went that they refused to play against us undefeated in the regular season, again. They unofficially threatened and for the second year in a row, to leave the league if they were they did not win the Championship forced to meet our team on the game at the end of the year. This field. The OUAA, realizing the year, however, we invented an en- importance of Queens and their tirely new way of accomplishing rugby program, decided to comply this, by not even getting to the with their demands and promptly game. dropped us. Thats my story and Apparently, some game sheets I'm sticking to it. from our school did not make it to In the Varsity Championships, the OUAA office in the required Queens regained their title by de- time allowed, and the decision to feating the Western Mustangs by put the Carleton Ravens in the the score of 18-15. As for the Club Championships was made before Champioships, 1 have not heard all the years results were tallied. the score and 1 don't really care. 1 They also forgot to tell us this until hope they both lost. I hope it the middle of last week. So, once snowed, too. And so ends another again, our season ends in disap- season of sex, drugs and pointment. rucking'n'rolling, and Hymers, This is the official story as to stop the crying. I Calendar ©112 Events I I Friday November 12 Sweet Daddy I OF ■ Friday November 19 Riverworks H tub wee\< John Spoltore—Hockey I Every Thursday - lan Graham & Ditty's Jam Band I John had a great game against the Waterloo Warriors on the instruments weekend as he had two goals and two assists to pace the Hawks to Bring your a 7-3 victory over the cross-town rivals. John is a second year student from Bridgeton, New Jersey. Every Sunday - Fandamonium Blues Band Carrie Ostrom—Volleyball Carrie lead the WLU women's volleyball team with 15 kills on the weekend. This third year co-captain is a third year physical educa- tion student from Newbury. 12 ARTS THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 Ravings of the Mad Poet Barbie and Ken Barbie and Ken, Barbie and Ken Those horrible demons of women and men. Our trucks and our dolls, Ladies, big boys our call. Warping our infantile minds. The fireman, lumberjack, salesman, I'll be... You're just a girl so you can't climb a tree. You play the mother, and I'll be the dad. JS Emotion your part, and ration, MINE, BAD! for Boy trolls and girl trolls Girl toys and boy toys Blue toys and pink toys Good girls and bad boys. Barbie is sickening. Ken is a stud. Insanity dragging, My world through the mud. Why is this happening? When will it end? Only with the destruction Of Barbie, and Ken. JXR Tim Miller FISHER SHEFFIELD'S EPILOGUE by Terry Grogan PART EIGHT: ing it again." by his shoulders, to steady my- "Fisher?" room self-consciously, smiling nervously. Then he turned back "TALKING DOPE WITH I shook my head from left to self. Bill just put his left hand on right and back again, not getting Clinton: "Well—that's ex- my right shoulder again, and gen- to me, leaned in close and whis- KEITH RICHARDS" it: "What's that?" I asked him. actly my point: there's always tly squeezed it. Then he looked pered: Clinton: "Quite the interna- "Joyce, and Myra. Before the exception that proves the me right in the eyes, and said: "I "Nah, man," I told him, "I'm tional ladies man, aren't you?" that, it was Robyn. Before that, rule...but, Fisher do you need to just cut out on you, didn't I?" pretty sick right now — and Me: "Yeah...ldoOK...l've Cindy Crawford. Next, for all I get high again?...Or, maybe, just "What? —" suffering from justunbelievable — can't got a "Chicks I've Had" wall know, it could be Hillary." go shopping for new shods?" \ And then I noticed President hallucinations but I just is map of the world back at my I shrugged my shoulders, not § "N-n-n-n0...1'm O-O-O-K- Bill Clinton had transmogrified seem to score...my connection place...and I'm running out of comprehending. "What?" I asked K-K...you j-j-justjjmentioned t-t- \ into a cow, right before my eyes, over trying to seduce JFK Jr." "Thas a reel bitch..." Keith pushpins, ever since the black him for another clue. the h-n-n-n-n-naiie..." / |\ which was strange, because I with out market foreign currency, "Out with the old, in with the | "Oh: sorry pal," Bill told me, 1 hadn't been experiencing the empathized me, spitting like "Bu ah opium, nuclear weapons, and new: remember how girls whose "I'll try not to mention Chicago, barnyard hallucinations lately. his words popcorn, the bes'...to hel' me white slave trade took me into names ending with an "a" used to either." "Ow! Goddamnit! I cut my guess i'sfo' J ...." ge' off th' stuff, I had Switzcrlan' Russia," I wiped my nose with get you hot? Paulina? That strip- j a moment of pounding j finger 1 "v shu' me heart, and in the sleeve of my jacket, "But per, Veronika? Eda? And the |>alwiP«# dale wells Othello in White Hatred poster child 9 I So you have Labelled me despise all Om about your actions seem Less devout TJut aLL your anger against me 3s matched in intensity The bLindness in hotu you perceive Choked on propaganda youve received you hate JW6 Qoodl Dont Let it be Gxpress Dont depress 3 have no fear of you UMor retaLitory pLans for tohat youlL do "But expect not a martyr passive Society raised me to be as aggressive £fight you, 3 mill not CPhysicaLLy, youve more than Ove got Condemn nor condone JTls equals, toe Live on our oton imprisoned in the stereotype T3ut 0 toiLL not Let our rage continue to stoipe JVLy Life is my responsibility To navigate the toaves made by society So Laugh or shout "Try keeping me out jLet your racist vieto fueL your heart 3 chaLlenge you on every part Of your worthiness to co-exist 13ut maLice i mill contain and resist Hecause toe aLL make mistakes Some are just harder to take. Kim Campbell's Blues I feel seats slipping away from me, Like me party's got a big break. And you might stay, that we are Takin ' it hard in the polls. But don't you wager that I'll hide in sorrow, When I may lay right down and ball. Now, the race is on! Here comes Reform form the backstretch, The Bloc's goin' to the inside. The New Democrats are holding back there, Trying not to fall. The Tories are out of the running, National Party's scratched for another race. And race is on, and it looks like the Grits, And the country loses all!! When the bocindanfes of days and houns ane Left to anothen toonLd and toe ane as cue ane, thene is senenity in life. One day I ventured in politics, never once suspecting What the final polls might read. Nothing is in Limited sappLy - nothing sLips by. And how I lived in fear of waking up each morning, And finding that the voters deserted me. Thene is no economy but fon the cuonld's fools. And there's aching pain in my pay-cheque, For today was the one I hated to face. And thene is no faith save youn own. Some Fringe parties came up to beat me, And I came out in umpteenth place. by Jeff KLaehn [c] KLaehn A parody ofRon Rollins' "The race is on" by Luke Gassien 14 FEATURE THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 THECORD Tht Meat in the nineties Envirc JEF Core The Vegetarian debate continues One could say it sh01 mentalist's Vcgctari: mly docs it have nc2 ard meat and potatoc: JIM LOWE tion of meat as being normal. Re SCOTIMcKAY through our entire existence. If the facts mentionc mom's), or evcryon Cord Features ally, we have very little choice in the Cord Features above arc a little hard to swallow look in your own carnt (when you're back:: Before I hcgi·n this article, let me matter. My one year old nephew, Vegetarianism makes no sense. Vegetarians claim chewing J110uths. What the hell would we have th . mentally friendly a~ make it clear that my intent is not for example, is fed products such as that we were always herbivores. Therefore, vegetar pointy little teeth known as canines in there for such items as whole to attack those of you who still "Terrific Turkey Dinner" or "Pork ians make no sense. Many vegetarians claim that they Grinding up vegetables. I think not. They were mea white flour, and Ion! consume meat. The carnivores Passion" baby food. At no time, as do not want to he responsible for the death of animals for tearing flesh. Red meat right off the bone! If yo The reason for this · among us do c.nough attacking for far as I can tell, was he given the for the purpose of meat usc. However, many animals cannot believe this you arc not using common sense. I bleach, which when both sides. option of not killing an animal for arc killed as a result of their vcggic purchases. There you are not using common sense then maybe yourbraii toxins. I am a vegetarian. That makes his ··feast". By the time we arc old fore, many vegetarians are contradictory in nature. is too small! Now as for the me somewhat strange in this meat enough to make a decision, the death Meat is good tasting, good for you, part of natural Aside from these facts people also claim that in thi really is something eating society. In the beginning, I of animals to please our stomachs is history as our staple and good for the economy and I ''advanced" society that we live in we should not ki soft drinks to entre was simply eating less meat. Now, virtually inbred. cat meat. Therefore I make sense- so read on. · animals for the purpose of meat. "It's cruel! couple of years rna I refuse to dine on anything (meat, I challenge those who say that It all started about two hundred mi kill an animal" or "I do not want to be being a cheese nut, poultry or fish) that was once a eating meat is a natural thing. From lion years ago. Big dinosaurs murderer"! If people only had a clu Cheese Soup. In fa living, breathing creature. Why? a theological standpoint, most ma running around eating these bleeding hearts kncwwh contains carrot an Well, to begin with, there were jor religions teach about a time when they could get their hungry ·r little vegetable purch would argue, but I health reasons. the earth's other inhabitants were mouths on. We, in the form responsible for maylx pretty good, albeit Chowing down a T-Bonc or not viewed as food for hungry hu of little furry insectivores, would re-think thei appearance than feasting on a slab of ham fills your mans. The Talmud, the Koran, the were running away from . The chemicals I However, there insides with far more cholesterol Bible and the Tao Tc Ching, for the dinosaurs' hungry growing crops do not sta, consistent througho then they need. This quickly turns example, all portray vegetarianism mouths scrounging up on the fields. After rai make the assumpt your body into a sluggish deposit of as being natural, healthy and, in bugs to feed on. If we fall the water goes in knows how to cook fat. Do you ever wonder why, after some cases, divine. did not cat bugs then t~c. streams ~nd. rive instructions pertain a big meal, you feel tired? Its Science, as well, questions those we probably would g1vm¥ all the hfe m the the recipes, and sp because your body isn't designed who claim that meat consumption is have become extinct a little taste 0 major crisis but so to process meat, and has to work somehow natural. Our intestines right there. The dino deathicides. The fertili1 ~ 1 really liked th overtime in order to handle what were designed for the existence of a saurs were too competi crs spc~d up the gro .... of ingredients sho you 'vc shoved down your throat. herbivore; they're not nearly big tive to allow some simple of manne plants wh1 If you find that it is Another reason why I enough for a true carnivore. We little creature like our consume gases that ar .,. became a vcgctari 't have the teeth or the selves in on any other food needed by other organis ' was simple eco that was available. Later on as thereby killing them o ch nomics we developed along the evolu through suffocation. Pretty pic ... F r u i t s , tionary road some things changed. ture, eh! vcggicsand Our big competitors died off some sixty Banana plantations are of a major co ' I /4 cup chopp other non five million years ago. However, we did not. cern because the insecticides that arc used na 1/3 cup carrot l anima I Perhaps the reason for this was that our food source only trash the environment around the plantations, b~-.. 3 Tbsp butter. products I find it intcrc was not affected by the catastrophic event that snubbed also the people working on these farms are experienc 3 Tbs unbleach arc cheaper csting that, in our the dinosaurs. Perhaps at this point in our develop ing major health problems. Large companies go int 1 Tbsp vegetabl than meat, society, we arc at ment we had a diet that was diverse enough so that third world countries and create large farms mainly f 1/2 tsp paprika fish or poul once repulsed at the food acquisition was not a problem. This is something the exp~rt of exotic fru.its and vegetables. The loca..,._ 1/2 tsp dry mus try. On a glo thought of consuming we will probably never know. But it docs lead one to economies are tcmporanly boosted followed by cnm 1 cup milk (or bal scale, it is far certain animals while we wonder about how we survived such an event that waves due to an inadequate transition of economic 3 cups water more economical give nary a second thought killed off so many other species. The local environment is trashed by the intensi\ 2 cups grated c1 to grow wheat and rice to the death of others. Most Moving on we come to our ancestors known as farming practices. Good all around! ' , than cows and chickens. people I know would refuse to cat Australopithecus. There were several different spe I do not claim to be any saviour by eating me """ Saute onion McDonald's and Burger King have meat from a dog or cat. They have cies of them that we can determine from the fossil Obviously I cat non-meat products -as well. But t chopped down sections of the Bra no qualms, however, about eating record. A larger model, Australopithecus robustus, thing that really gets me is that these people that clai ""'b zilian Rain Forest to graze cattle. coworpig. Whyisitokaytokillonc lived mainly on a vegetarian diet. Guess what hap to be vegetarians think that they arc doing the world If our society ate less meat, this species, but sick or cruel to murder pened to this species? It became extinct. The meat big favour by not eating meat. They do not want.to ~ atrocity wouldn't he necessary. another? eating, co-existing relative of A. robustus which is responsible for the death of animals. You have read th ~---...... ----! Since that time, however, my When people find out that I'm a known as Homo habillis eventually evolved into what facts above. To be a non-killing vegetarian is a contra· reasons for being a ·'vcggic" have vegetarian, more often than not, we arc now, Homo Sapiens. Coincidentally, the meat diction in terms. Hence, contradictory people. changed drastically. Because I am they respond by questioning my in cater developed a larger brain where as the vegetarian If being a vegetarian makes you feel good than b) no longer of the belief that "meat is telligence, my reasoning and my only got bigger in body size. Hmmm? The larger brain all means continue to be one. But do not think that you· the anchor of aoy meal", as a room commitment to what I believe in. allowed more complicated thought processes which conscious is clear, if killing animals (or any life! mate of mine recently stated, I They cannot accept that I simply do were necessary for survival. bothers you. What is protein? question the necessity of meat at not want to kill animals in order to We have been on a moderately long journey Besides, when they kill cattle in a slaughter hou. ing material of our all. fill my stomach. If you ask me, through time. Without the diversity of being omni it is done very quickly. Even quicker than it takes to kil ~me-half of the From a very early age, we arc they're just trying to justify their vores we would not be here. I have to wonder about a plant. 1cnts of our bodies conditioned to accept the consump- morbid eating habits to themselves. these people that tell me that we have been vegetarians Make mine blue! The ·trials and tribulations of one struggli~g veg!taria SHELDON PAGE I was not making a moral stand in The answer in one word - NO. for the last couple of months. I will buy a lot of hot dogs for what you urgers, hot dogs, Cord Features choosing not to cat meat - I just · I indulged in just about every need a varied diet to avoid becom will spend on a lean cut of beef. 1roducts. Some taste It took a failed attempt at vegetari wanted to improve my health. form of meat possible. Foot long ing bored with just eating pasta. I'm planning now for my rc·l fS suck. For the anism to make me truly regret my Unfortunately, my vegetarian Barvarian sausages at the Farmer's There arc several good vegetarian conversion. I'm cutting down mj products are very days as a carnivore. The following ism lasted a year. At the end of that Market. Bacon, ham, pepperoni, cook books out there. A vegetarian intake of meat, so the switch will them if you want is a brief account of my vegetarian year, I was convinced that I was sausage, and ground beef on my news group is available via Internet. not come as a shock. Going cold found that a experience and some words of ad doing myself more harm than good pizzas. Hot dogs, hamburgers, roast If you arc up to date with the Internet, turkey will bring on the cravings regardless of the vice to those who arc thinking about by not eating meat. beef, and turkey. You name it, I ate there arc thousands of vegetarian like you would not believe. shit. becoming a vcghcad. I hated eggs. I hated beans. I it. I also gained at least ten pounds recipes available from ITP sites. I encourage those interested in I am returning For the record I am presently a hated milk. This is not good for one this year. I would like to say it was Try an ARCHIE search for "reci vegetarianism to give it a try. Plan sm because it will meat cater, who is feeling the nega who is considering becoming a veg muscle I gained, but the growing pes" to sec what is out there. Check ahead and don't cat meat for a 1ood about my tive effects of a meat based diet. It etarian - this is what led me to cat waist size of my jeans speaks the out this year's Canada Food Guide week. Our society is so meat ori· tarianism helps the has been my experience that living meat again. I thought that I was not truth. as well. en ted that for most of us it is hard to sa side effect that is the life of a student and eating getting enough protein in my diet. Willi return to vegetarianism? I find, thanks to a student conceive of a meal not containing healthy is next t JEFF BLAIR strong chilli flavour, then try increasing the amount JIM LOWE 6) Falafel Sandwich (Aiadin's): Corel Features of cumin and sec what happcps. Next, I took a peck Corel Features Perhaps the best value for your \One could say it should be called "The Environ- at the basic stir fry recipe. Oh-oh! Somebody didn 't 10) Vegetarian Pizza Slice veggie money. Wrapped in a pita, mentalist's Vegetarian Cookbook," because, not read the little cookbook that came with their wok. (Mega Pizza): A quick solution to this combination of falafel and \only docs it have neat alternatives to your stand- They say in the recipe that it is alright to substitute a hunger attack. A cool combina fresh vegetables is irresistible. ardmcat and potatoes (when you 'rc back home at olive oil for peanut oil. This is not true if you arc tion of Pineapple, Green Pepper .. mom's), or everyone' s favourite Kraft Dinner concerned about healthy eating. Olive oil breaks and Onions makes it distinct from 5) Breakfast Buffet (Pat & (when you're back at school), but it is environ- down much sooner than peanut, making the cook ·other veggie slices. Mario's): The mother of all buf mentally friendly as well. It gives variants on ing time longer, and also allows the vegetables to fets, this feast offers all kinds of such items as whole wheat flour vs. all-purpose absorb oil and other assorted nasties. They also 9) Snooker Fries and Garlic veggie-friendly fare. white flour, and long grain rice vs. Uncle Ben's. suggest a cooking time of 4-8 minutes, dependent Bread (Loose Change Louie's): The reason for this is to cut down on the use of on the colour change of the vegetables. In my Massive portions at a reasonable 4) Make Your Own Sandwich hleach, which when improperly used can form experience, a better rule of thumb is not the colour price make this a wonderful! unch (Reggie's): Although somewhat toxins. change (if you watch, it really only takes about 30 time meal. Make sure that you ask far away, the opportunity to heap '* Now as for the recipes themselves. There seconds, as long as the oil is hot enough), b-ut rather for the fries sans chilli, though. tonnes of your favourite stuff on a \really is something for everybody, ranging from the crunchiness of the harder vegetables, carrots huge kaiser is always appealing. soft drinks to entrees to desserts. Having spent a especially. This is usually around three and a half 8) Veggie Burger and Black couple of years making soups in restaurants, and minutes (under six servings). They also don't Bean Soup (Phil's): The best 3) Vegetarian Platter(Pogo's): being a cheese nut, I decided to try the Cheddar mention how to glaze the dish (of food) by mixing veggie burger in the area, most A huge meal which caQ easily Cheese Soup. In fact, it isn't just cheese, but in a tablespoon of cornstarch with the soy sauce, scrumptious when smothered with feed two people, Pogo's platter \contains carrot and onion as well. The purist about 30 seconds before transferring the food from two types of cheese. The soup is a provides a scrumptious sampling would argue, but I'm no purist. Anyhow, it is the wok to a serving dish. great alternative to fries. of Middle Eastern standards. \pretty good, albeit having a somewhat different In conclusion, this cookbook shows a lot of . 2) Veggie and Cheese Sub (Sub appearance than Campbell's. promise, but needs a little spit and polish. Some of 7) All You Can Eat Pasta Bar way): Mmmmmmmmmmm, However, there is a problem that is fairly the methods could be clearer, and some of the (The Red Pepper): At $7.95, the Suuuuuub-waaaaaay. consistent throughout the cookbook. The authors cooking terminology could be defined for the nov price is steeper than most meals 1) Kitsilano Club Sandwich make the assumption that the reader already ice. On the whole, though, it is definitely worth on this list, but, if you're really (Phil's):There is, quite simply, no knows how to cook, because there arc only vague having around for anyone who is a vegetarian, hungry this is your best bet. way to describe how good this is. instructions pertaining to temperature in some of knows a vegetarian, or is just concerned about the recipes, and speed in blending. This is not a healthy eating, even a meat and potatoes guy like taste ) major crisis but some confusion may arise. myself. RENEE WARD I have never categorized my . The fertiliz I really liked the look of the chilli, as the mix The book hasn't gone to final print yet, but it Corel Features self as a complete, die-hard veg the growth '\of ingredients should give it a nice consistency. is due out by the end of term. The price is yet to be Growing up in an European meat etarian or vegan, and have never plants which and potatoes family, I always Loved claimed to refrain from eating meat es that arc meat and considered it a necessary due to my moral values. This past staple. I lived off campus in first summer I met several serious veg year and thankfully avoided the etarians. Although they did not con notorious dining hall food. I did vert my morals, they put on the road :",:Q~:!~~·a'·i".C h';e~ e Soup however, find buying meat an un to some serious thinking. wanted expense. I could seldom My views and reasons are still 113 cup carrot, finely grated afford it , thus I seldom bought it. evolving, even though I am starting 3 Tbsp butter, margarine, or olive oil to lean more towards moral reasons 3 Tbs unbleached flour Over the Christmas holidays, I for vegetari-anism. Whether this is I Tbsp vegetable bouillon managed to make up for the past solely linked to the influence of my 1/2 tsp paprika few months of lacking meat. April friends, or just my personal changes, I/2 tsp dry mustard or 1 tsp regular mustard did not prove so lucky. My first I am not sure. I do feel that the more I cup milk (or Water) attempt to eat red meat made me you talk to others and research the economies.~ 3 cups water extremely ill. It never occurred to topic, the more your views will the intensive I 2 cups grated cheddar me that my digestive system had change. . f' altered enough to actually make me Yes, I still eat dairy products, caltlmgB mcaht. A"\ Saute onion and carrot in butter, until tender. Add flour, boullion, paprika, and mustard to ill.Throughout second year I con yes, I do have leather products in wepic that· utclaim t e' , carro t m1x· t ure, bl en d1ng. we II . Add rema1n1ng· · 1ngre· d 1ents. , cooking and stir until mixture tinued to cat fish and poultry ,but by my possession, yes I still love my English mints(that do have gelatin g the world a~ thickens . then I had sworn off red meat. As of this September I stopped eating fish in them), and no, I don' t feel like a ot want _to bcfl.' · Remove from heat and stir until cheese is melted. Garnish with croutons and parsley and poultry. hypocrite. have read the _ On a more practical level, vegetari ~-...... -- . an is a contra ------anism is great for a student. Not cop! e. Protein requirements or vegetarians only is it healthy, it is a great deal l good than by cheaper than buying meat. Some ink that your RICK COLE made mostly of fibrous proteins. lysine, valine, threonine, sulfur ideal way to find the best source of people claim that being a vegetar or any life!) Corel Features Protein is necessary for children to containing, and aromatic amino ac protein is to look into your own ian consumes too much time. I beg What is protein? Protein is the build grow and for adults to repair and ids. diet, and check out your personal to differ- any food preparation (ex nughter house :; material of our bodies. About replace tissues that are constantly If the foods we eat contain favorite sources. cept for fast food) takes time, it takes to kill 1c-half of the non-water compo breaking down in our bodies. enough of these eight amino-acids The most important thing to whether it is meat or vegetables. ntsof our bodies is protein. Our Where does protein come then our dietary requirements for remember if you are considering a What "does help with vegetarianism n,hair, muscles, bones etc. are from? Protein is produced in our protein will be met. vegetarian diet is to make sure to though, is creativity, research, pa bodies by combining twenty-two What arc the best sources of continue enough protein. Take the tience, and often, a damn good cook ·amino acids into complex struc protein? There arc no hard and fast time to research your protein re book to get started. Dining out isn't tures. Also, our bodies are able to answers to this question. If you ask quirements. Find the neccessary even a problem - there is always, if veg ~ ttarian produce all but eight of twenty two a cattle farmer, he will tell you that information to help you make an nothing else, a salad on the menu amino acids. So our dietary re beef is the best source. If you ask a intelligent decision. Whatever rca (and dessert!). for what you ~crs, hot dogs, and other such quirements for protein arc really dairy farmer or a poultry farmer, son you might usc to decide to stop What does present a problem cut of beef. 1ucts . Some taste good and oth just to consume enough of those they will tell you that dairy prod eating meat- make sure you don't for me though, is other people's w for my rc- suck . For the most part these wight amino acids which our body ucts, eggs, and chicken arc best. jeopardize your h·calth by cutting attitudes towards my style of living. 1ing down my ''ucts are very expensive. Try cannot produce. They arc And if you ask a wheat farmer, out meat cold turkey, no pun in I don't feel that it is necessary to c switch will if you want to, but I have tryptophous leucine, isoleucine, well. .. you get the picture. The tended. justify my choice of food products . Going cold i~d that a vegetarian hot-dog, t)r the reasons for them, to anyone. the cravings r1rdless of the brand tastes like People just don't have the right to Iicvc. Arguments for vegetarianism criticize or judge others on their interested in I am returning to vcgctarian Hunger: Number of pure veg a pound of meat: 2500 gallons. Of nutritional differences and reasons. it a try. Plan hccausc it will make me feel Human Health: Risk of death etarians who can be fed on the all water used for all purposes in I feel that these types of attitudes t meat for a tlabout my body. If my vcg from heart attack by average· amount of land needed to feed I the United States, more than half U.S. man: 50% greatly deter people from trying · so meat ori Janism helps the environment vegetarianism. Nobody wants to be person consuming meat-based goes to livestock production. Risk of death from heart attack fus it is h~r~ to side effect that is great. I am not categorized. Nobody wants to be diet: 20 by average U:S. vegetarian man: ~ ot contammg ~:~ding to change the world's Natural Resources: Amount of accused of "failing" at vegetarian pcntrcd around won meat. My change from 15% Environment: Number of acres U.S. cropland lost each.year to soil ism. I am a vegetarian, but by my that this is not 1tto vcggics is small on a global of U.S. forest which have been erosion: 4 000 000 acres (size of interpretation of the term,not any meal can he a lc,but change has to begin some Pesticides: Leading source of cleared to create cropland to pro Connecticut) one else's And that is the way :re, so why not with myself? pesticide residues in the U.S. duce a meat diet: 260 000 000 Percentage of U.S. topsoil lost di everybody should view their eating I of advice to If you arc interested in vcg diet: Meat - 55% Cows arc responsible for produc habits. imcnting with ianism . give it a try. Prove to rectly due to livestock raising: 85. ing 25% of the methane gas de Who knows what I will be eating at :h out for prc v;clf that you do not need meat Survival: Only man to win pleting the ozone layer. Waste: Production of excrement this time next year? But for now I · )ducts. Health arvivc. Vegetarianism docs not IronMan Triathalon more than of U.S. livestock: 250 000 pounds am comfortable with what I am th most major c to he a painful ordeal - pass twice: Dave Scott (6 times) Water: Water pccdcdto produce doing and why. And that is what cgctarian ham potatoes. p~r ~'iond. J:?ict of Dave Scott: Vegetarian I matters. a· ." "·'•·' I'HE Llll M^U ®Sfef 341 MARSLAND DRIVE WATERLOO 886-7730 ' ■:. ; '■ .-r' r S I _. .4 ; :; >*■ *yj -h-.■ Entertainment Trip: gritty and powerful SELENE MacLEOD Cord Entertainment October 28, 1993 was the loudest night ofmy life. Bombshelter? Pah! Tristan Psionic, a ( dare I say it?) grunge/pop band from "Puslips" (Hamilton, Ontario), opened the show with an energetic, too-short set. Consisting of Mark Milne and Sandy Mcintosh sharing guitars and vocals, bassist Wool, and Ross McLochness on drums (where do these guys get their pseudonyms?), the band could be easily compared to any band of the genre — (like Nirvana, only a lot more fun), and they generously provided free ear- plugs. (By the end of the night, 1 was wishing I had used them). At times they seemed a little lost on- stage, but that will improve with experience. Of course, much ofthe between song exchanges were time-killing while the soundmen dealt with broken equipment. The high point of the performance was their finale, an abusive feedback slam during which the band mem- bers (broken strings and all) grated their guitars on each others' bod- ies. They'll be back Nov. 21 at Phil's, so check them out. Ever had your ears cleaned with The second a jackhammer? — mi "" , band, Grasshopper(from Toronto), 1 " king feasts upon guitar. ,c; Selene MacLeod was just as excruciating. Over dis- Grunge torted, with amps cranked way past by staying still most of the time. much, but overall they were awe- wick, Eric's Trip's was the first band stirred up an impressive Spinal Tap 11 (97, perhaps?), the Mike Gribben on drums completed inspiring. Canadian act signed to Sub Pop, slampit. The guitar onslaught from band offered an indescribable mix the outfit, drawing as much atten- Eric's Trip, the headliners, the Seattle independent label made Rick Whitar and Chris Thompson & melodic vo- of shrieking guitars, chilling bass tion as the frontmen. Musically... opened their set with a slow famous by Kurt Cobain Co. 1 is softened by their vibrations, power drumming, and picture Alice in Chains meeting number, which was quite a shock suppose the comparisons to Sonic cals, shared by bassist Julie Doiron; bloodcurdling wails. Guitarist/vo- Napalm Death and giving birth to after Grasshopper. The band played Youth (from whose lyrics they they have an almost innocent qual- calist Derek Madson was impres- Bobcat Goldthwaite—without almost completely in the dark, with lifted their name) are inevitable, ity at times. Rounded out by Mark sive, writhing across the stage with monologue. At times, Grasshop- two bare light bulbs on the stage right down to the female bass Gaudet on drums, the band is great, dreadlocks flying. Bassist Ted per's seriousness ("You'll be happy providing the only light. player, but Eric's Trip is quite to say the least. Look for their Robinson offset Madson's antics when I die") got to be a little bit Out of Moncton, New Bruns- unique. Gritty and powerful, the album,'Love Tara'... Yuletide madness& evil SANDRA ISAAC reindeer and the gifts that he deliv- Cord Entertainment ers are, shall we say, creepy. The Tim Burton's Nightmare Before only inhabitant of Halloween Town Christmas blows into movie thea- who sees imminent disaster is a rag tres this fall like a breath of fresh doll named Sally, who is in love air. Burton uses thirty million dol- with Jack. Thus, a romantic sub- lars and the latest innovations in plot develops. stop-motion technology to create a The real story of Nightmare unique and enchanting animated Before Christmas, however, is not world. Nightmare Before Christ- only in it's story but in its exquisite mas tells the story of Jack animation. Burton had pitched this Skellington, the Pumpkin King, idea to Disney years ago, but it was who is the undisputed leader of put on the back burner for being Halloween Town. While Jack is "too weird". Now, however, after certainly the scariest guy in town, the success dark Burton he is bored by doing the same old films as Edward Scissorhands the thingevery Halloween. When Jack idea was resurrected with wonder- stumbles on to the entrance to ful results. This movie may not Christmas Town, he is enraptured. become a holiday classic to the For a change of routine he decides tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed to take over Christmas. The inhab- Reindeer, but with endearingchar- itants of Halloween Town kidnap acters, rollicking songs, humour Santa Claus and the stage is set for and a can't fail story line, "Night- the greatest Christmas ever - Hal- mare" will certainly make its mark loween style. Jack drives a sleigh on the holidays, both Halloween made out of a coffin led by skeletal and Christmas. 18 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, November 11,1993 taste test, was next. Upon the first gulp I found myself gasping, holding my throat, andquickly examiningthe Bee chat label to ensure that I had not no more BEER accidentally the Toilet grabbed DAVID POPOVICH exactly it is that you like, or for that through a slew of full-time, part- EVAN BAILEY and TOM Duck bottle that was nearby. Af- Cord Entertainment matter dislike about something. time or fill-in beggars. At present DABEK ter the heart rate returned to triple The Canadian identity is some- This is precisely the case with the gang includes Shawn Rahbek, Cord Entertainment digits another swig was in order thing which has been criticised and musical Canadiana. It seems to be Trevor Hutchinson, Jimi G Gelcer, This week Beer Chat looks at a to give an accurate taste rating of condemned, however never truly more an intuitive feeling than one Pete Hudson and Robin Wark. With rather unpopular beer. It's not the product. The original splash recognised. From a North Ameri- of logical analysis. Simply speak- various vocal and instrumental tal- that it is a bad beverage, it's just on the tongue was quite strong, can perspective we have never dis- ing the music just has a "feel" all ents the group is able to slide across nobody has ever heard of it. Dis- which was a bit of a surprise tinguished a tangible personality it's own. the diverse musical spectrum, en- the doctor's recom- considering the alcohol percent- which is easily recognisable. How- This is exceptionally true with hancing theirsong's dynamic form regarding mendations to stay away from age of the brew. However, it slid ever, if one looks to the Canadian the music of the Pardon Beggars as well as its soulful essence. alcohol for a while to prevent down the throat quite easily and music scene they can discern a and their recent release, Golly, There is a vast of styles range serious liver malfunction, the left no burning sensation. We definite character which is unique gee...Shucks. This collectively throughout the release spanning Brew Brothers headed in the di- were adequately assured that it unto itself. To identify this Canadian band, whose line-up from little like par- groovy numbers rection of the local Beer Store to wasn't just Toilet Duck in a dif- ticular element in our national seems to have been shuffled more "Lighten Up Francis" and"The grab a box of Around Ontario ferent container. songs is impossible. I'm sure at than a few times has been jamming Duke Speaks" to the more country Lager. The first impression of After an hour or so, the first one time or another you've been since late 1989. In their nearly four stompin' tune, "Goin' to the Op- the beer was a definite plus even impressions of the taste had been unable to put your finger on what years together the band has gone era". The disc also includes tracks though we hadn't looked at the overridden as some wise guy de- such as "Upon Hearing You Disa- bottles. Due to our non-existent cided to slip me arye shooter that gree" which project more serious student income and rapidly de- ultimately led to all proceeding overtones within the bands' mu- clining bank balances, it was re- beverages tasting a whole lot bet- sic. Contributing to a number of assuring that it is still possible to ter. The next morning was not all these songs are a few of the Beg- grab a twelve pack for less than bad. However, there was a slight gars' friends, the likes of which twelve bucks. For all of you non- numbness in the mouth, prob- include Dave Wall, (lead singer of math types, that means less than ably a result of the high-garlic the Bourbon Tabernacle Choir), a buck per beer. content pizza that was eaten be- Sarah McElcheran, Gregory The blue and gold box was fore bed (but the actual cause has Hoskins and Leroy Sibbles, (mem- quite attractive and was not been adequately determined bers of Anyhowtown) and Jimmy complimented by similarly good since we could not gain access Amaro, recognised for his efforts looking labels and caps. The into the science lab to perform an in the Toronto jazz scene. Around Ontario Lager weighs in investigation). One would assume that the at 4.8% alcohol, not a strong beer Overall Around Ontario La- complexity and distinctiveness of by any means, but still signifi- ger gets a four on the IQ (Intoxi- the various tracks would tax the cantly stronger than a glass of cant Quotient) scale. Although it band's capabilities. However, water. That gives the beer a UBU is inexpensive, the bitter taste throughout the entire release each (Universal Beer Unit) of 23. The was enough to warrant dropping song is performed with musical first cap was removed easily it below a passing grade. Next perfection. The varying forms thanks to the new improved twist week Beer Chat will continue never hinder or exceed the abili- top feature that Around Ontario reviewing the bargain beers. The ties of the group. This release com- has incorporated just recently, research grant from the Cord has bines the best of all of the Pardon and to our surprise, yes, it actu- not yet been approved so we can- Beggars' talents into an exclusive ally smelled like a beer. Our fa- not afford to test the more expen- work which for the most part can vourite portion of the review, the sive brands at this time. only add to our Canadian identity. 3? JS | | J^ yy J JA^W ? € £ £ § ":• \ t«\ '$ *. *: * ■••• s ■'■- x;' ? '. • ':' -5 ' y £" ? ;?* i;.- . £ '•?"'" I>, ,!s 1C . : ?' ,«* „ 5b if' ? ... ?<. x * >, >■. |r S- r c v.'' ■'• s-- 5 s LJ" !:;'■ *s" >U' 5 4£ sr- 'I I C Js* s ICs s I 5.. 5" M,, Cs' „ M x, I if* 1 M „ s M l 5 x. M i Jx .i>>■ ~ ~ V' ... * v £ * % /; j , t (\ |}, |$ ( %/{} \ {% \ $! | % {{ £ £ ,{%% *. iV; J/4 jj;} 11J |j c 1%% 11 VII jI; > %\s{}[ v %if I 11 i\ I s can eat I>IIMNMI»M- TffElSriAll you Blues Band $ / $7.95- Sunday November 14 S mm mm mm m coupon w mm mm | COUPOn 1 His first appearance ,1 „ , ever < at the red pepper!! Buy oik Broich ■ Branch _ Mont i the Great I , I ( . Gel one Brunch' Gel one Entree. ii A < 1™FREE■ "■■■■ FREE■ ■■■■fci ofOWflqp m * . _™' _'i* _ ';:Mi < *"■ ft!"J'J MWP THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 ENTERTAINMENT 19 Dummies are still alive! GREG SLOAN I felt this was what had set the band more intense and cryptic than they The album was produced by Cord Entertainment apart and made them one of the were for the last album. All songs Jerry Harrison (of Talking Heads The Ghosts That Haunt Me was best today. I listened to the album are written by Roberts, and he tack- fame) and the Dummies. It features one of the most impressive debut with trepidation, hoping the band les topics which many are content superb playing by Roberts (acous- albums ever released by a Cana- had not sold itself out. to leavcalone. Asimplesongabout tic and electric guitars), Reid (pi- dian act. The Crash Test Dummies They haven't. The new album love would be out of place next to ano and accordion), Benjamin created a multi-styled sound which is just as complex, musically and songs dealing with death, old age Darvill (mandolin and harmoni- combined elements of rock, folk lyrically, as the previous release. and God. Roberts lets other acts cas), Dan Roberts (bass guitar and and country. The result was ten The most distinct element of the sing about the usual fare; he seems synth bass) and Michel Dorge original and fresh songs which band is still put front and centre: content to deal with the complex. (drums and percussion). The sheer helped the band win the 1991 Juno Brad Roberts' voice. It's base bari- The lead single, MMMMMM number of instruments the band for Group of the Year. tone sound is at once original and MMM MMM, is slow and me- can play helps account for their Now Crash Test Dummies arc fitting for the music which backs it lodic, similar to their biggest hit richly textured style. Adrain Beiew back with their second effort, God up. Combined with back up vocal- "Superman's Song". The music is of King Crimson plays the multi- Shuffled His Feet. The press re- ist Ellen Reid's beautiful harmo- richly textured and interacts with layered guitar solo in the title track. lease stated that "gone is the genre- nies, Roberts gives the songs a the harmonies of Roberts and Reid. The change of style from the crossing of organic elements, the similar sound without letting them The song is about three children last album i| not an abrupt one. country nuances, the old-time fla- become repetitive. who are set apart .from normal so- None of the" songs seem out of vourings." I was not impressed, for The lyrics are perhaps even ciety. The chorus, MMM MMM place on the album, and all will MMM MMM, shows the inad- compliment the Dummies' great equateness of words to explain to road show. However, the change is Unspeakable sex crimes... on Geraldo: these children why they are differ- enough to make the new material next ent.There are no simple answers to interesting and engaging for all why some people have misfortunate those fans who were looking for T.V. talkshows for morally bankrupt society things happen to them, and Roberts something more than The Ghosts acknowledges this. That Haunt Me Volume Two. RONNY WATT like news shows. Their productions certainly look like Cord Entertainment news shows. But their stories are sensational feeding Why did society cross the road? To get to the darker frenzies conducted by unscrupulous wolves hunting Cathy Miller clears Phil's side. for blood. The mother of slain school girl Leslie Some two thousand years ago, mommies dressed Mahaffy recently consented to an interview to discuss up the kids and daddies warmed up the chariots in the situation of Karla Homolka's trail ban. The re- Sunday night crowd eager anticipation of a night out at the Roman Colos- porter quickly changed subjects upon arrival with her seum. Here, Christians wereceremoniousiy delivered cameramen and dragged out grisly details of the girl's to hungry lions to the delighted amusement of every- murder and earlier torture. Mrs. Mahaffy says she one. Fun for the whole family. Now in modern times, feels terribly violated for being tricked. This is jour- it's difficultto imagine how the ancient Romans could nalistic integrity? How could someone put Mrs. have possibly been so prejudiced. Today, being so Mahaffy through this after the unbelievable ordeal she much more civilized, we are happy to feed anyone to has already been through? the lions regardless of religious persuasion. Does that shock you? Of course. Enough to not Merely one hundred years ago travelling freak watch and prevent this reporter from profiting hand- shows were popular entertainment sources for the somely from her depravity? Nope. You'll watch and kiddies. If there's a moral difference between these so will I, and we will be entertained. deplorable exhibitions and Geraldo Rivera topics, I So the question is not "Do we sink to unconscion- utterly fail to see it. The compassionate Sally Jessy able levels to be entertained", but rather "WHY do Raphael likes to plop dying hermaphrodites down on we?" As much as I despise the media for what they her centre stage to let everyone tell them how much have become, the simple fact is they absolutely would they pity them and ask them, by the way, do they not cover stories in that way if we, the people, refused consider themselves homosexual? To justify our view- to watch. It is our problem and I'm concerned that ing, we easily convince ourselves that we are watch- most of us don't even perceive that such a demented ing from an intellectual viewpoint. But we're not. We situation exists. are being entertained by the their plight. I would love to be able to say "you have a problem Somewhere along the way, the news media in- but I don't", but I've watched Jerry Springer and vested in this circus when they realized the revenue American Journal. I've seen the transvestite grand- potential. Every American television network now mothers crying because their kids won't let them airs programs just as sickening and just as inconsider- babysit. I've seen the sad little girl with the pig-tails ateto theirguests/victims. Masquerading as authentic being dragged from her loving parents in dramatic journalism, they sit prettily behind official looking slow motion. If I were alone in my viewing of such anchor desks. They display creative and expensive material I would seek psychiatric help for my afflic- ovcr-thc-shoulder graphics. They routinely pretend tion. But we're all in this together. to go to live-on-the-spot roving reporters with perfect If there is one person out there who is still sane haircuts. Would you really be shocked to learn that enough to reject all of this garbage he or she is an wails in pain as ice pick is driven p/ C ; Scott McKay they never studied journalism, but drama? extreme rarity and deserves a spot on the next Montel Cathy into ner foot. Inside Edition... A Current Affair. They sure sound Williams so we can all marvel at this wonder. I BEAT THE EV/L STRESS MONSTER////1 ppl 9 & A Silver 14 ; Semi / IA ft Mm m Precious ■■ ■/ M^ r I a WK ■ a MI If - ' 4D3"jO4A/ '-' & OUL/ m ■ H Rock Fossil Specimens Il Musical Instruments r* W /fr CAU. MOW/ TOLL FK£E! 1~--j |7iWS MESSAGE BROUGHT TO VOU gV WLUSR 20 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 At least it's not Rambo MICHAEL ROSENBLATT awful Rambo movies. up with it, and to give you a clue, favour, don't bother to go and see Cord Entertainment Most of my time at the movie he appeared as a regular in a fa- it, even if you crave action and was spent trying to remember mous British sitcom. Other than blood and gore, wait until Robo- Over the past week, I had heard seen Man was a waste Cop 3. It will be time and money many television ads describing the where I had the creator of the that, Demolition new society 1 finally came and Do yourself a better spent. newest action futuristic thriller, before. of time money. Demolition Man. After hearing all of this hype, I decided to go and see what all of the fuss was about. I'm still wondering. Demolition Man fell far short of the expecta- Friday's tions I had for it. Although it had Grind plenty of action right from the start, this failed to make up for the JIM LOWE you want to have dance floor that same songs, week in and week out. weak plot and bad dialogue. The Cord Entertainment is bigger than a broom closet. I want to hear more than the top plot goes something like this; a Urban Grind Fridays offers the forty songs on the dance charts. I criminal is apprehended while kid- If I ever get married, I hope that it best of all worlds. also want to hear more than K- napping several hostages. In the will be to CFNY DJ Maie Pauts. Much of the music came from Tel's Greatest Rock Songs of the fight to capture him, he blows up Pauts, for those of you who don't the dancier regions of the CFNY Seventies and Eighties. the building with all of the hos- know, teams up with Alan Cross play list. Pauts spent time on the When I go out, I don't want to tages in it. This explosion and the to present Urban Grind Fridays at classics, such as "How Soon As know in advance that "Brown Eyed death of the hostages is blamed on the Twist. Last week, a few friends Now?" while also filling the bar Girl" is going to be played. Or a cop. Both are frozen and at- and I celebrated the coming of with new hits such as "Creep" and "Cecilia". Or any of the other, tempted to be rehabilitated. Thirty another weekend by dancing to "Animal Nitrate". It wasn't hard- standard songs which permeate years in the future, society has the frenzy that Pauts' record spin- core alternative, nor was it four most DJ's play lists. The best evolved to the point where there is ning stirred up. hours of a mono-syllabic beat. thing about Urban Grind is that no longer any substantial crime. After four years in Waterloo, Requests were filled with Pauts was willing to play stuffthat The criminal (Wesley Snipes) ap- Friday nights have started to get lightning like speed. Instead of wasn't guaranteed to go over. 1 pears at a parole hearing and es- boring. The Turret, where you th,e standard DJ responses "I'll see believe the word is creativity. capes. He creates mayhem in the wait in line to get into a half empty if I have it" or "maybe later" my Unfortunately, Pauts wonder- city. Since the police are unable to bar, has become a complete write- solicitations were met with come- ful work was overshadowed by deal with him, they unfreeze the off. Week in and week out, the backs such as "Sure!" or "That's the sparse crowd. Hopefully, at- cop (Sylvester Stallone) and send same songs are played...its simply one of my favourites". My friends tendance will increase as word him out to get Snipes. The rest you a matter of predicting when you'll and I requested eight different gets out. There was also a cover can figure out on your own. hear "Thank God I'm A Country songs. Every one of them was charge of $4.00. Those things Stallone and Snipes gave it Boy". Stingers is okay, but often played. aside, however, I still had an in- their best shot, but I think that seems like a smaller version of the I don't have a problem with credible time. Stallone was better in Cliff-hanger Turret. Fed Hall, which can be a dance music or classic Rock 'n If you're looking for some- and Snipes was better in Passen- lot of fun, is too far away. Roll. In small doses, they can thing different than the same old ger 57. One must give credit to Normally, I'd choose to go to make for an enjoyable evening. I routine, then try spending your Stallone, however as his dialogue Phil's, for its excellent music and have, however, grown extremely next Friday night doing the Urban has steadily improved from those atmosphere. Sometimes, though, tired of DJ's that play exactly the Grind. sr& s ■r -f||f-- Jjfe-f PrT ' 4-ill/ wMB: .J? J^^HHp: ' I > -2SiW Alfl A| A|~V^prAll'flM|All^^^^^| I THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 ENTERTAINMENT 21 The Dynamic Duo by Tanya Ventura and Melanie Seal Starr swallows by Dear Dyno Team, any order requested. lowed their rings one one. Docs size matter? To date, Starr's repertoire of "Who wants theirring back?" signed, "favourite things to swallow" in- the giggling regurgitator asked. Tiny clude billiard balls, coins, jewel- Upon request Starr, like a com- Dear Tiny, lery and live goldfish. plete gentleman, spit each ring out Well they say that less is more, but don 7 blame usfor being skeptical. "Why do you swallow live and handed it back to the owner Dynamic Duo goldfish?" Starr asks himself in shiny but amazingly dry. front of a packed house in Wilf's. Probably his most impressive Dear D.D., "Because it's funny, that's why!" feat came when Starr swallowed a I am currently involved in a long distance relationship, and while the ginger-haired professional miniature Rubik's cube with all I am in school during the week I find myself being attracted to other a women at school. My girlfriend and I have a great relationship when puker said as he scooped up sides on a solid colour. When he we're together, but when we talk on the phone during the week we usually goldfish and threw it down the brought it back up, no kidding, the end up fighting. I know that she is attracted to other guys whileI am away CHRISTOPHER SKALKOS gullet. cube had been altered. too, and she tends to be a flirt. Should we go our separate ways and find Cord Entertainment "Which way do you want him "How the hell do you explain people that we can be with all the time? "Excuse me sir, can you check to back up, head first or tail first?" what you do for a living?" pon- Signed, see if this is a real light bulb" said Starr asked the moaning and groan- dered Starr in between stuffing Perplexed Stevie Starr, a young "entertainer" ing audience before regurgitating things down his throat. Dear Perplexed, from Scotland to a wide-eyed the fish back up and letting it This was a question I couldn't It isnot always true that absence makes the heart grow A long fonder. patron Wilf's. whither and squirm between his help but to ask him over a long distance relationship is never easy. It is however, natural to look at other at telephone interview be- people while involved in a relationship. You 're in love, you 're not blind. After everyone sitting near the lips before placing it back, UN- distance Look at all your problems, anxiety, and that phone bill and ask yourself stage was satisfied that it was in- HARMED, in its watery domain. fore the show. if it's worth it. You have to look out for Number One. Ifyou yourself are deed a real light bulb, Starr tilted As strange as this may seem, "Most of the time I just turn not truly happy in this relationship, get out. his head back, opened his mouth it gets even stranger. around and pretend and say I'm a D.D. wide open and...SWALLOWED Graciously borrowing a ciga- plumber or a bricklayer." Starr THE LIGHT BULB. rette from a member of the audi- said with a thick Scottish accent. Dear Dyno Team, Seconds later the slightly-built ence Starr inhales the whole "If you don't, then you'd have to in third I am my year, and 1 am still a virgin. My house mates tease performer gyrates his jelly-like thing...and then goes on with the spend a half hour explaining what me relentlessly and I am beginning to think I'm the last 21 yearold virgin. stomach in and out, slaps himself show without exhaling any smoke. you do!" he added. Should I wait for Miss Right or settle Miss Right-now. on the chest the Where did it go? After thirty minutes of wit- Signed, and coughs up Still Waiting light bulb unbroken, and without Who knows. But it came out nessing what he does for a living Dear Still Waiting, any harm to himself. a few minutes later contained in a Starr could make you believe he In these uncertain times, we don't know ifMiss Right-Now is healthy. "Now we can start the show!" bubble and sent floating across the can swallow anything. But for If you're not secure enough in your own person, we suggest a little tiny said Starr kicking off his one hour room before the bubble burst and how long could he go on doing white lie. Go away for the weekend, spend the 48 hours creating an exotic regurgitation act at Wilf's last the smoke dissipated. this, I wondered ? tale, and come back on Monday with a huge smile on yourface. Until Miss Saturday night. As if that wasn't enough, Starr "I could do this for life" Starr Right does come along, you may find yourself content with an inflatable A bizarre phenomenon to the coaxed a handful of not-so-will- said, "Or maybe for about another friend. world of showbiz, Starr has been ing ladies on to the stage and swal- five years." Dynamic Duo practising the art of regurgitation since he started swallowing coins Watch for answer the Dynamic Duo every week as they the when he was four years old. Baf- sexual questions of Laurier If What's students. you have a problem fling audiences all over the world, regarding sex (no matter how bizzare) that you need advice on Starr boasts the uncanny ability to please drop a letter off in the Centre Spot to addressed the swallow a variety of items and Happening? Dynamic Duo. The column is only as good as you make it. then bringing them back up...in Gordon Lightfoot sings at the Centre in the Square Tonight at 8:00 Liquid Bone Dance are at the Volcano tonight Your last chance to see Marion Campbell's work on display at the Robert Langen Gallery here at W.L.U. until the twelfth. Groove Daddys erupt at the Volcano Nov 12 Wild T and the Spirit are at Lulu's Nov 13 Kirsty MacColl is at the El Mocambo Nov 15 Mathew Sweet performs at the Spectrum Nov 16 Author Kevin Major talks at the Kitchener Public Library Nov 16 Anne of Green Gables performs at Centre in the Square Nov 17-21 Zero Option is at the Volcano Nov 18 HOW DOES YOUR Authors Janet Lunn and Christopher Moore talk about their book "The Story of Canada" at the Kitchener Public Library Nov 18 The Breeders do their thing at the Opera House Nov 19 Furnace Face pose at the Volcano Nov 19 Poet, author and musician Greg Humbert discusses "Passion and UNIVERSITY RATE? Faith: The Gospel Imperative to Risk" 7:30, Nov 19 in St. Jerome's C.L. Siegfried Hall Dr. Alexandra Caverly-Lowery, professor of dance at York, lectures on "Dancing For God" Nov 19, 7:30 at Resurrection College Mermaid Theatre of Nova Scotia presents Gulliver's Travels Nov 20 at 1:00 pm in the Humanities Theatre at University of Waterloo. Total Recall Tour 93 with Nazareth, Blue Oyster Cult, Wishbone Ash and Uriah Heep digs up old memories at Lulu's Nov 20 The Renaissance Singers perform Herbert Howell's Collegium Regale Nov 21,7:00 at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church in Kitchener. The Lemonheads squeeze some juice at the Concert Hall Nov 21 Sarah McLachlan & Ginger perform at Centre in the Square Nov 23 Twelfth Night performs at the Theatre of the Arts at UW Nov 24 Victor Borge is at Centre in the Square Nov 24-25 at 8:00 Quiverleg and Dr. Wiggly wiggle at the Volcano Nov 25 Drawings and paintings by Maria Gabankova arc on display at the Robert Langen Gallery at WLU from Nov 15 to Dec 11 I Ii V A Find out in Maclean's November 15 issue. jrW CARDS 884-361U F ' oweEmWYms7LF with our Recycled CardsHost^^££sMWe Deliver 11 Maclean's llllllllßllllHlllillllliiniflllHllll 22 ENTERTAINMENT THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1991 Vietnam: Dealing with it JAYSON "RAMBO" "The computer." by Robert Mason ending will shock the reader. Over- Chickenhawk, Mason continues his GIROUX "Ren and Stimpy." Penguin Books all, an excellent book. story, still captivating the reader CordEntertainment "The automobile." 476 pages Sometimes I think military his- with his honest, easy-to-read, al- If wc sat a bunch of people in a "The building of the pyramids ($5.95) torians are so preoccupied with ways funny, and poignant account room and asked them what is hu- in Egypt." Ever wanted to know how it military history — the battles, the of his life after Vietnam. After the mankind's most astounding Or maybe "the development would feel to fly a helicopter? battalions, the strategies, the tac- war, his career looked optimistic achievement, I imagine there of insulin for diabetics." Mason takes you from his first as he began teaching helicopter would be a number of answers: Those would be a few sure. basic training in the U.S. to flying trainees to fly. However, soon "The landing of man on the I would say the helicopter. "grunts"(slangfor soldiers) around after his life would wind down- moon." I looooove helicopters. Never Vietnam's jungles. Mason is an wards as he suffered bouts of de- have I seen an invention devel- excellent writer, is easy to read, pression and panic. Mason turned oped to be used in so many versa- and is actually quite funny. His to heavy drinking and adulterous tile ways. I think they are just sarcastic sense of humour not only love affairs to kill the psychologi- incredible flying machines. If 1 makes you laugh but also lets you tics etc. etc., that they sometimes cal wounds of war, but only wound could, I would give birth to them, see the stupidity that war some- forget about who is making the up losing his wife and job. Even- (even though that would probably times is. You literally feel your- military history — the soldiers tually Mason wound up impris- be quite physically painful), just self flying over the jungle of Viet- themselves. And because of this oned in a minimum security jail so I could have a few of my very nam, going into landing zones to oversight sometimes they forget for bringing a boatload of mari- own. extract or dump off American sol- about what happens to the soldiers juana into the U.S. from Colum- This week we fly to Vietnam, diers, while hearing the cracks of after the conflicts are over. bia. literally, and back again to the bullets as they smash into the heli- Chickenhawk: Back in the After prison Mason was able world ("the world" was a term copter's body. After his tour of World, Life After Vietnam to put his life back together: get- used by Vietnam veterans to de- duty ended, Mason went back to by Robert Mason ting together with his wife, stop- scribe the U.S. of A.) with Robert the United States to teach flying, Viking Press ping the drinking and love affairs, Mason, Vietnam vet and helicop- but encountered many mental and 388 pages while concentrating on his career ter pilot. physical ailments from his mili- ($27.99) as a full-time writer, and penning Chickenhawk tary duty, forcing him to quit. The With this sequel to Chickenhawk: Back in the World as a result. Ergo By C.Walsh What is amazing about Ma- son's life story is that he is only one of several tens of thousands of veterans able to show us about what can happen to the men and women who fight the battles after the battles have been fought. Thou- sands of other men and women have had their lives fall apart after the conflicts have been over, but sometimes military historians pass over that. Luckily, Mason does not let us forget that with this well- written book. LiwfL J®™ M^^Eih Mil DRAGON PALACE 75 Weber Street, Waterloo (Zeller's Plaza) 888-7200 Back By Popular Bemand! 70 Item Buffet ~ Expires Nov. 19,1993 Bring in your STUDENT CARD Mondays to Thursdays t° receive great discounts on our... re L buffet co= - VNCHCA QO Regular $5.99 (excluding Holidays) SUN NOV. 7 KATHY MILLER SUN NOV. 14 AN APRIL MARCH DINNER BUFFET Regular $9.99 SUN NOV. 21 RANDOM ORDER *»' ' (excluding Holidays) w"h B""" Please Show Your Student Card Before Ordering SUN NOV. 28 PATTY LARKIN LICENSED ALL AGES BUSINESS HOURS: ___Monday to Thursday & Sunday 11:30 a.m. - 10:00 p.m. TICKETS AVAILABLE: Friday & Saturday 11:30 a.m. -11:00 p.m. Phil's, Dr. Pise, HMV, Encore & Sam '$ THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 COMMENT 23 volume XXXIV the Cord issues 1-27 Mapping life "The tie that binds Laurier" since 1926 One wall of my bedroom is covered withposters. Not exactly posters—mapsreally. It's a motley cosmic design but I like the colours. The soothing empty blue ofthe ocean, A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication the green they always use for Canada (like the entire country is covered in trees) and 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C5 (519) 884-2990 — Fax: (519) 884-5596 the hundreds of highways spidering their way from province to province to state. Advertising: (519) 884-5092 The obsession with maps this year has little to do with geography though. I'm in my fourth year - a time when a student begins to wonder ifLaurier is where EDITORIAL BOARD you found direction or where you got lost. I realize that not EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sheldon Page simply I'm not alone. I'm NEWS EDITOR Kathleen Honey the only one mesmerized by borders and directions. ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Steve Doak At the poster sale in the Concourse a while back it hit me. With all the examples of ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Greg Sloan human, scenic and ethereal beauty on display before the entire student body, theposters ASSISTANT ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Vacant that were sold out were similar. were SPORTS EDITOR Jennifer O'Connell decidedly They maps and cute little colourful ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Eda Di Uso numbers on how to be an artist and how to convinceyourself that everythingyou needed PRODUCTION MANAGER Lynn McCualg to know you learned when you were three. FEATURES EDITOR Ingrid Nielsen Both are filled with borders, directions, rules and instructions. STAFF REPRESENTATIVE Sean Wilde As unhappy as everyone is in high school because oftherules imposed by those alien STAFF creatures you are supposed to call mom and dad, life always comes back to exactly what Production Assistants: you ran away from. Andrew Cameron University, even Laurier, is a liberal little microcosm. There are Paul M°Lean very few rules and Classified Co-ordinator Mia Kroll there is, aside from academic courses, tonnes of selection leading to innumerable Circulation and Filing John Huculiak decisions.Like whether to eat meat or not. Or whetherto go to church or not. Or whether Copy Editors: to wear socks and sandals as a fashion statement or not. And with each decision we Emma Dwyer create new borders. We draw our own guidelines. Sandra Gabriele CONTRIBUTORS University is a search and with so many ideas floating around it can appear chaotic. Terry Grogan, Ryan Feeley, DeriyS DaivS, Amit Kapur, Jim Boyce, That's culture shock. To see everybody in Docs and workpants instead ofkilts and navy Jim Lowe, David Ray, Amanda Dowling, Libbi Hood, Paula Clarke, blazers. To see from the cities to the smallest all these Amal Moussaoui, Darren Mahaffy, Jenn Thome, Mark Heasley, John people largest villages making Baal, Dave Wells,Tim Miller, Jeff Klaehn, Luke Cassien, Selene decisions within this one institution. To see homosexuality openly displayed. MacLeod, Sandra Isaac, David Popovich, Evan Bailey, Tom Dabek, The more vast your horizons, the more effective it will be when you 're in fourth year Ronny Watt, Scott McKay, Michael Rosenblatt, Tanya Ventura, Melanie Seal, Christopher Skalkos, Jayson "Rambo" Geroux, Chris and you're expected to decide on a career and a spouse and the kind of dog you want. Walsh, Ralph Spoltore, Pete Robinson, Gavin Bauer, Paul Gray, Rob The how to posters that sell out so quickly offer simple enough rules like stay loose Hums, Carrie Lossiter, Ted Smith, Rick Cole, Renee Ward. and believe in love at first sight. Not exactly the Ten Commandments but then again that's why we buy them. They're honest and easy and humanitarian. Production: Jenn Thome, Scott McCormick The maps on the other hand offer the best example of how to give direction, draw Photo: Rich Vollering, Scott McKay, Selene MacLeod, Aaron Betik, Harvey Luong. borders and give names like the Pacific Ocean to mere ideas like water. Cover photo: Aaron Betik So follow the simple rules. Be honest. Be humanitarian. Find direction and draw Arts Section Coordinator: Sean Wilde your own borders. And look at a map or two. Because at an age when everyone is trying to find themselves, a map can tell you exactly where you are. STUDENT PUBLICATIONS TREASURER Jennifer Martin Editorial by Jennifer O'Connell , Sports Editor PHOTO MANAGER Debbie Duiker The opinions expressed in this editorial are those ofthe author and do not necessarily those the rest Photo reflect of Technicians Keli Watson of the Cord Staff, or of its publisher, WLU Student Publications. JeffBlair Graphic Arts Technician Anton Volcansek Art Director Tina Romano By Ryan Feeley ADVERTISING CEREBELLA Manager Mark Hand Ad Production Manager Paula Kalijarvi Ad Production Assistants Dawna Maclvor David Janzen Sales Jeff Nugent Sean Mateer Allan Pawelek BOARD OF DIRECTORS Adrienne Hodgin, President Heather Mundell Sue Barry Chris Bradley Phill Kinzinger Jeff Oegema Michael Rosenblatt Sean Taylor (ex officio) l can't believe that I bought beer at 10:34pm last Tuesday. Damn that felt good.. All Letters to the Editor must be submitted signed, typed (or submitted on disk or via E-mail) and double-spaced by Tuesday , November 16, at 12:00pm for the following publication. But, we can only print letters that bear the author's real name, telephone number, and I.D. number(if applicable). Please see the letters policy on the next page for all the details. All letters must be no longer than 500 words. All submissions bccome the property of The Cord and we reserve the right to edit or refuse any submissions. I am the Maximum Overkill master, no matter what Scott says. The Cord will not print anything in the body of the paper considered to be sexist, racist, homophobic in nature by the staff as a voting body, or which is in violation of our code of ethics. It is possible that some really vile letters will show up in the letters section, since it is an open forum. Incoming! Incoming! Sorry - flashback. Cord subscription rates are $15.00 per term for addresses within Canada and $18 outside the country. The Editor-in-Chief is willing to provide a subscription to anyone who buys us full colour.. The Cord is printed by the busy people at McLaren Press. Launch an artillery strike on the band. The Cord publishes each Thursday unless we are meditating. The Cord is a confirmed prospective member of Canadian University PTess. All commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent those of the Cord staff, the editorial board, the WLU Student Publications Board ofDirectors, or Jesus. Copyright (c) 1993 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L3CS. No part ofthis publication may be reproduced without permission of the Editor-in-Chief. That's all folks. 24 COMMENT THE CORD Thursday, November 11,1993 and I would certainly do my part to pass the Obnoxious and Immature Drunks" could word around for next year! Thank-you very not have been worded any better. For this I Letters Policy much at Amy Hopkins and Julie Morton and give you a literary pat on the back. Unfortu- - All letters must he signed and submitted with the author's name, student identificationand all the incredible volunteers who provided nately, the article sitting underneath that telephone number. lots of entertainment of kids of all ages. fantastic title was a little disappointing. - All letters will be printed with the author's name. Letters can be printed without the Marilyn Watson In my opinion, the story did not ad- author's name only by permission of the Editor-in-Chief. Office of the Registrar equately explain the reasoning behind the refusal to - Letters must be received by Tuesday at noon for publication in that week's issue in print, Foot Patrol's escort the two indi- on IBM format disk, or via E-mail at: [email protected] viduals. It also did not adequately describe the asinine behavior of the two - Letters thatare submitted on disk or via E-mail must be accompanied by a letters release Library "unidenti- form or a signed hard copy that can be obtained at the Cord offices. fied" males involved (believe me, I'd want acted - Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 words. to remain unidentified too of I'd in the funding woes manner). - The Cord reserves theright to edit any letter.Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. same did not refuse - The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter in whole or in part, that is in violation of Dear Editor: Foot Patrol to escort the existing Cord policies. Thank you to Lynn McCuaig for high- two individuals simply because they were None of the Patrollers - The Cord is accepting photos to the editor.The Cord will accept black and white or colour lighting the impact on Library Services of "inebriated". have photographs. The photographer's name, address, phone number, student number, and brief shrinking government funding. The Li- ever used drunkenness as the sole reason for description must be printed on theback ofthephotograph. One photo per issue will be used. brary staff would certainly prefer to be able refusing to escort a member of the Laurier to offer longer hours, a larger collection and community. If your research had been thor- more equipment. I would appreciate the ough, you would have discovered that, on a tional Version which states: "Where are the opportunity to clarify one or two points regular basis, patrollers assist the staffof the Pink Ink men who came to you tonight? Bring them which Lynn raised. campus bars by escorting over-intoxicated out to us so that we can have sex with them." The actual value of serial subscriptions patrons home. Therefore, "inebriated" indi- Genesis 19:4(NIV). It has been proven that cancelled in 1992 was $80,000, out of a total viduals are nothing new to us. The reason was mistaken the New International Version is a more serials budget of something over $600,000. these two were refused an escort was be- accurate translation of the Hebrew texts The cost of journal subscriptions has in- cause oftheir confrontational behaviour and To the Editor: than the standard King James Version. The creased in the past 10 years at a rate approxi- verbal abusiveness. I'd like to comment on the article writ- New International Version was translated mately 2 1/2 times the rate of general infla- Not too many people respond favorably to insults and it is no surprise to me that the ten by DenyS DaviS in the column "Pink directly from Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic tion. When budgets cannot be increased at refused take that kind of Ink" in the October 28th issue. In his article texts, while the King James Version was the same rate, alternatives to cancellation patrollers to abuse. their initial refusal, the two individu- he denounces the 700 Club, a Christian drawn from already existing versions of the are few and difficult. After organization, for spreading lies, hate, and Bible. in fairness to the Library's automated als went to the Foot Patrol Dispatch office "turning their backs on their own Saviour." Secondly, I'd like to point out that the system, it seems reasonable to point out that where a volunteer was working and screamed was remove Before I continue I'd like to make it clear conversation between Lot and the village 'crashes' are not infrequently the result of at her until security called to followed a of that 1 don't hate homosexuals and neither men continues. Lot, in response to their hardware rather than software problems. them. Next, they team patrol- docs God. Many people believe that all demands, volunteers to send out his two The Library system shares the heavily-used lers and, once again, began to verbal ly abuse Christians hate homosexuals. The bible virgin daughters. It is obvious that Lot un- university computing equipment with a large them. What makes it worse was that there speaks against what they do and not the derstood exactly what these men wanted. number of other functions. patrollers were escorting a Laurier student. was people themselves. Let me re-iterate that It's unfortunate that people do not study There is, in fact, support from the Uni- I can only guess how irritating this to the was again so that I'm not misunderstood. I'm not deeper into the Word of God before making versity's administration for the concept of patrollers and how uncomfortable it for advocating the hatred of homosexuals, but comments like these. I did however, appre- an upgraded automated Library system. The their escort. that doesn't mean I support that lifestyle. ciate hiscommentsofacceptingthe Bibleas funding question will be addressed in the The author commented on a clip of a "the basis for our society for the law making upcoming budget cycle, and the recent, posi- It was for this reason that these two walk. homosexual protest against a church in San process and for our moral standard." I com- tive, student referendum listed library auto- were refused a It was obvious that this Francisco. I think he is mistaken and unfair mend the author for his statement and sug- mation as one of its likely benefits, so there type of behavior could not be expected from in his analysis of the situation. From my gest that he reads Romans 1:27 and 1 is good reason for optimism on this subject. them. Foot Patrollers do not have the time to perception of the facts the author presented, Corinthians 6:9,10 for further study of what The staff in both the Library and Com- deal with these people since it means that use the it was the gay community that was spread- the bible has to say about homosexuality. puting Services are hard-working, dedicated others who legitimately want to ing hate and violence. The protesters had and talented people who have made a number service must wait. Laurier should not toler- turned to violence, destroyed church prop- Carolyn Neumann of significant improvements to Library serv- ate this behavior from any of its students. at a volunteer erty, and placed threatening phone calls. ice in recent years. Like Ms. McCuaig, they Especially, when it is directed Also in thearticle, the author claims that hope that there is light at the end of the program composed of students who only Christians had changed the words of the Halloween funding tunnel which will facilitate opti- want to help their fellow students, faculty, passage in Genesis 19:4 for their own con- mum service and resources. and staff get home safely at night. venience. The passage quoted reads:" They Virginia Gillham the called to Lot, Where are the men which party thanks University Librarian I personally stand by decision made came into thee this night? bring them out by the patrollers that night. Should a similar future, unto us, that we may know them." (KJV) Dear Editor: situation arise in the I would expect The author argued that the word "to I would like to thank those involved Foot Patrol the patrollers to handle it in the same man- know" had two meanings; "becoming with the organization ofthe Halloween Party ner. friends" and "to have sex". He went on to on Oct 30th/93. It was wonderful to see all say that these Christians had changed the the creativity and work that went into this clarification Jeremy Kmet meaning of the word by interpreting the event and my two children had a fantastic passage with sexual connotations. Firstly, time! It was unfortunate that more staff did Dear Mr. Editor: Coordinator the quote was taken from the New Intcrna- not realize that the event was taking place The title "Foot Patrol Draws the Line at WLU Foot Patrol * The Bloc back tracks AMIT KAPUR in the embarrassing position of being in ally make economic sense, well that doesn't Liberal's 177 seats (or something like that, Cord Commentary favour of something that would hurt Quebec matter because Quebec doesn't care. I won- I lost count after a while!) only about 15 are and showed the fundamental incompatibil- der what the average Quebec voter actually from Quebec. This gives a pitifully low Well, well, well. It seems that a week ity of his platform. thinks. representation within the Liberal party, who hasn't gone by without sparks starting to fly A few days later, Bouchard showed his It sounds like Quebec is already acting are calling the shots for the next four (or up on Parliament Hill and all over the coun- true colours by stating that the helicopter like it has separated from Canada. I think of five) years without giving a damn what the try. deal shouldn't be scrapped and if it was, Canada as a team, where everyone works opposition thinks. It seems that Lucien Bouchard has Quebec should be compensated $1 billion together, however Bouchard's Quebec Perhaps Bouchard will succeed with his painted himself into a corner with his plat- (sound like ransom to you?). seems to want all the glory for itself. ultimate goal ofsovereignty for Quebec, for form of fiscal reform and protection of Que- Bouchard went even further in DE- It seems to me that if Bouchard is nego- if he can show that despite his best efforts bec's interests. The subject of this latest MANDING that all government contracts tiating like this now, I wonder what he will the federal system doesn't work for Quebec dispute is the helicopter deal that Jean (like Hibernia and aerospace contracts in be like if Quebec ever to separate? he can gain the public support he needs. Chretien has promised to cancel. the West) be frozen so that they can be re- In the middleof this mess is the govern- However in doing so, he threatens to create It seems that throughout the campaign evaluated for their economic sense. And so ing Liberal party. Normally, they would be havoc within Parliament, and possibly cre- Bouchard was against the deal. As he de- has begun the regional conflicts within Par- concerned about a possible dissension on ating a greater rift between French and Eng- scended from the Progressive Conservative liament, with financial expenditures of the the part of Quebec. However out of the lish populations. Party (and I use that name loosely!) he federal government being treated as "hand- found it very difficult to accept the spending outs" to the provinces in the form of jobs. of over $5 billion to replace Canada's heli- This begs the question, if the whole Did you miss the WLU'er or copter fleet. point is to save money by not buying the That's before he found out about the 1 helicopters, what's the point in payingQu- 000 jobs it would give Quebec! ebec? the Cord Guide to Laurier? Before Bouchard could revise his posi- He seems to be say ing that saving money Offices tion on the topic, many Quebec politicians is okay unless it is done at Quebec's ex- Both publications are available from the Cord complained about the coming job losses if pense. And if other provinces lose jobs and on the third floor of the Student Union Building. the contract was canceled. That put Bouchard contracts that they fought for and that actu- THE CORD Thursday, November 11, 1993 COMMENT 25 enGENDERed Men) Beauty in the "Sir, this is a fine way for a man to spend his species fucking life, isn't it? Have you ever heard of Class Distinction, sir? I'll tell you what BY JIM BOYCE it means; it means Vickers-Armstrong book- i remember reading in a newspaper ingaprofitto look like a loss, and Churchill art of writing about a man who had fought in World War lighting a new cigar, and the 'Times' ex- Two. His brother was wounded during a plaining Liberty and Democracy... It's a battle and the man left his shelter and very fine thing if only you're in the right JEFF KLAEHN this. weaved out through the exploding shells class — that's highly important sir, be- Cord Commentary Good fiction is often many different and streaking bullets to rescue him. During cause one class gets the sugar and the other Creating with words, like playing in the things just as it is often about opposites in the next forty-five years, the man's family gets the shit." sand at the beach, can at times be akin to an collision, how they attract or repel and all would sometimes find him in the yard in - An Infantryman (in Ellis) exercise in philosophy. Every now and again, the happenings involved therein. If espe- the early hours of the morning, covered in you might lose yourself in the words and tap cially good, fiction allows us the opportu- sweat and digging trenches. On November "Thou are in the mud of the trenches, in the into unchartered territory. nity to look inside ourselves, sometimes 11,1 will think of this man and the many vomit where the heroes lie — did you like While the ringing of the cash register is even forcing us to introspect. others who were sacrificed on the fields of the speeches? Was there one orator better what it all boils down to professionally, So have you ever had the inclination to war... than the others? creativity and writing are minimized if write a story, play, or maybe even a novel? Turn on the searchlights, let us see the thought of or approached strictly as com- Sometimes it pays to listen to someone who "O God have mercy on me, please, please, vines of barbed wire again: what wine will mercial endeavours. knows the game well. Farley Mowat once please dear God, don't let me die!" be made from these pitiful grapes." - Good literature and trash literature, the told to me that the best way to become a - Private Bagnall (in John Ellis, On the Kenneth Patchen, The Journal ofAlbion best seller and the throwaway in the ten cent good writer is to "read enormously and Front Lines) Moonlight bins. Docs it re- write like a mad fool". ally matter? One book about writ- "We see men living with their skulls blown "Everyone was shouting, screaming, swear- In a world "...there will be no where to ing that you might like open, we see soldiers run with their two feet ing, shouting for their father, shouting for where perspec- to check out is Free cut off, they stagger on their splintered their mother... shells were coming all ways, tives and tastes go but up and, if you try Play: Improvisation in stumps into the next shell-hole; a lance- the man next to me got hit through the vary in a vast ar- Life and Art by Stephen corporal crawls a mile and a half on his shoulder, he fell down, I looked at him and ray ofassorted fla- really hard, you just might Nachmanovitch (pub- hands dragging his smashed knee after said Christ' and then ran on, I didn't know vours, from lished by Tarcher in him; another goes to the dressing station whether to be sick or dirty my trousers." chocolate to find yourself flying." 1990). and over his clasped hands bulge his intes- - A Private (in Ellis) tigertale, you give Hemmingway might tines; we see men without mouths, without it your best shot """""~~suggest that you seek jaws, without faces; we find one man who "'Tell them it's hell and tell them there're and remember to shoot from the hip. out a clean, well lighted place but, if you has held the artery of his arm in his teeth for men getting killed and wounded every Open the tap. Read Zen in the Art of make like a certain seagull who goes by the two hours in order not to bleed to death. minute, and they're miserable and they're Writing: Essays on Creativity by Ray neat name of Jonathan Livingston, there The sun goes down, night comes, the shells suffering. Tell them it's a matter more Bradbury (published by Capra Press in 1989) will be no where to go but up and, if you try whine, life is at an end. serious than they'll ever be able to under- to learn what the author of such classics as really hard, you just might find yourself Still the little piece of convulsed earth stand. Spread it on thick and leave off the Fahrenheit 451 and Dark Carnival saysabout flying! in which we lie is held. We have yielded no sweet syrup that all the others write about'... more than a few hundred yards of it as a there was a choking sob in his voice ../Tell prize to the enemy. But on every yard there "em it's rough as hell. Tell 'em it's rough. covered on your dental plan, great. If your lies a dead man." Tell 'em it'srough,seriousbusiness.That's job security is threatened by your coming - Erich Maria Remarque, All on the all. That's all.'" out or if your partner has their own plan Quiet Western Front - Private Coteau to a newspaper reporter, the nice by then wouldn't it at very least be to in Ellis have the option? DenyS DaivS "A man was shot for cowardice... How easy PINK INK If your partner takes time from work for the generals living in luxury well back The more active I become in the gay for some personal reason like maternity or in their chateaux to enforce the death pen- Remembrance Day ceremonies will be held community the more that 1 realize that it bereavement leave then wouldn't it be won- alty and with a stroke of a pen sign some on Thursday at 11 at WLU's flagpole out- can be considered dysfunctional and derful if you could be with the one you love poor wretch's death warrant." side the Torque Room on University Av- unfocused. For example, the times I get into and have committed yourself to? - Soldier Evans (in Dennis Lee, Death's enue. conversations with people about equalrights Heterosexuals have many rights and for gays and lesbians, most specifically benefits offered to them through marriage. concerning spousal recognition. It amazes While many of them do exercise these THOUGHTS me how many people have no desire to rights and benefits there are some who t7 HEALTHY become involved in the fight. don't. They cohabitate instead of getting R BY DALE SWEENEY These people are not distancing them- married, they don't both take maternity ifSX fcH FROM HEALTH SERVICES selves from politics because of a fear of leave, and they don't always declare one or being out to the public but rather because the other as a dependent for tax purposes. they believe that they do not want the right Just because you have the right to do some- IT'S NOT TOO LATE to have a recognized spouse. This I find thing does not oblige you to exercise them. to get a flu shot, that is. If you missed our clinic in October and would still like more very hard to understand. There is a trickle down effect with information on flu shots, call Health Services at ext. 3146 to make an appointment. Why would someone not want the right rights and recognition. The more we get, to a marriage? Whether or not you get the easier it is to get more. For those gays Is there any way to protect yourself from Hepatitis B? married is up to you. If you are legally and lesbians who are politically inactive YES. Hep B can be prevented through immunization. If you and/or your partner have had allowed to marry your same-sex partner due to apathy remember this - not so long three or more sexual partners in the last six months or if you and/or your partner have had then you and your partner can make the ago were the days when police were al- an STD, come in to Health'Scrvices and get more information on Hep B immunization. decision as to whether marriage is right for lowed to raid gay taverns and bars and have You'll be doing yourself - and others - a favour. you. the names of patrons published in the local The same thing applies to spousal or newspapers. All changes are for the good of Your Ontario Health Card don't leave home without it. common-law benefits in the workplace. If the whole community not just for the good REMEMBER - You can't stop change. It's inevitable. Except from a vending ma- you want your spouse or partner to be of individuals. chine!!! The Vocal Cord "What does Remembrance by John Huculiak and Jeff Blair Day mean to you?" "It means bringing out last year's "It means a lot to me because both "Not only is it to honour those who "I don't know!" poppies "cause you're too cheap to my grandfather's fought in WW II died in the war, but also those who - by new ones." Kurt Vriarfe - 2nd Year and because I am Canadian." still live." Jenn Luxey 2nd Year Poli Sci Honours History Jody Geddes - 2nd Year Hons. Psych Jim York ■ Ist Year Honours Computing 26 COMMENT THE CORD Thursday, November 11,1993 Foot stompin' times The about six months by this point. It had seemed aid, she waved gaily and continued to flirt tor cables, and shoulders as broad as a Chevy a natural progression in her new found faith. with her own cowboy Joe. pick up, he whirled and whipped me around She was up to three nights a week, and she The guy was taking me out to "two- the dance floor. It didn't matter that i didn't Nielsen was looking to recruit. step". 1 explained to him that I had never know the steps. He was leading, and doing Ratings After about a dozen requests, one night done this before. Oh, it's easy, he said. it well. I'd found my Bud man. Jen was desperate. She had no one to go to Quick. Quick. Slow. Slow. The night was a total success, with Jen's by Ingrid Nielsen the Tavern with. I broke. Easy enough. gloating being the only shortfall. The at- Crushed toes. A deflated ego, and a rip- "I'm not dancing, remember that. If I quickly realized a few crucial facts for mosphere was so different - there wasn't roaring good ol' time. some cowboy Joe asks me, I'll just say no, the girl partner. The guy leads. A new con- one fight, and attitudes had to be checked at Welcome to my first experience with so don't go pairing me off. I'm just going to cept for me. I kept trying to whip my head the door. People weren't drinking to get country dancing. watch. That's it." around to see if he was doing a good job, and hammered-how could you and expect to Yes, 1 do like country music - now. But Dressed in sandals, a t-shirt, and blue before I knew it, Crunch! My toes were dance to the Boot Scooin' Boogie? remember that 1 began as one of the biggest jeans, I thought I was dressed for anything. safely secured under a pair of shiny steel- My roommate this year hates country critics since Axle Rose. Just ask my friend, I was wrong. toed cowboy boots. music. "It's just so....hickish!" she says. Jen- the true Nashville Queen wannabe. Cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and big "I'm sorry," we both exclaimed, and True to the faith, I've got my radio About two years ago, she started listening to shiny belt buckles dominated the fashion Bang! We hit one of the two poles on the tuned to a pure country station. Let the this "irritating, whining banjo-playing drib- scene. As much as one could, dressed as dance floor. Next we rebounded into a few immersion begin. ble". I assumed she'd grow out of it. conspicuously as I was, I tried to blend in more lovely couples, and I think I once sent "It's my car, and I'll play whatever I with the barn board. some young buck's ten-gallon into orbit. "Life's a game you learn as you go, want," was her response to my observation I don't know if you've ever seen coun- Jen told me after that I had a lousy Sometimes you lead, sometimes you that all her six pre-programmed radio sta- try line dancing, but it really is an event. partner. Don't give up, she said. Then came follow. tions were "that country garbage." Lined up aerobic-style, the floor filled from Rick. Don't worry 'bout what you don'tknow. You might say I was initiated by coun- end to end with strips of eager exhibition- With arms that had muscles like eleva- Life's a game you learn as you go." try-immersion —like it or walk. ists. It looked fantastic, and much too com- The lyrics started to find their way into plicated. Jen had warned me before hand. and clouds and harp solos? my shower, then my kitchen, and before I These people knew their steps, and should WOMENWORDS I'm a poor university student just like knew it, someone was constantly following you miss one, you'll know the soles of their most of you. But, being a poor, female around student means me humming Randy Travis. boots. I stood quietly to the side, content to by members of the Women's Centre university that each month Jen picked up on this weakening stance tap a toe or two. 1 spend anywhere from twenty to thirty and seized the moment. "Excuse me ma'am. Would you like to dollars on sanitary supplies. Needless to "Why don't you come to the Tavern dance?" BY ANDIE NOACK say I was outraged when the federal and with me on Saturday night?" Country night. Who's ma'am? I thought. Feminine hygiene products. Essentially provincial governments tried to tax sani- "Sorry but 1 have to stay home with my I looked at Jen with what I thought was frivolous items endlessly marketed through tary supplies. They claimed that sanitary parents, practice my Calculus, and listen to our "Come save me look", but apparently it the capitalist ideals of this patriarchal soci- Supplies were not "essential". I wonder my mother explain the joys of marigolds." wasour"No, really I wantto makean assout ety. Even when I'm sitting around, suppos- how many of the people making that deci- Jen had been going country dancing for of myself' look. Ir>stead of rushing to my edly safe in my home, the advertisements sion were on the rag at the time - I bet you and commercials just keep pouring in, tell- not very many. ing me that there's something new and With the dawn of the "'green" revolu- WORLD improved that I absolutely must have to tion, marketers have come out with the DRUMMER'S make me a better woman. Why do men not new natural sponges, which you cut to fit have to undergo this constant barrage of and then rinse out after use. While this is a promotions? cheaper alternative and i agree with the Douching is something which has al- idea in theory, back to basics and all of that, ways confused me. Where is the logic they just aren't very practical. Couldn't behind this whole idea? We don't give men you just see yourself in a public washroom scented spray for their testicles, but womyn washing out a sponge tampon in the sink? are supposed to douche to remove the Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitching "offensive odour" which our vaginas sup- about having my period - it's actually posedly produce. Advertising is continu- something I enjoy. It reminds me of my ally telling us that we can't feel fresh or be power and individuality as a woman. When a real woman unless we douche. Get real. 1 comes right down to it I can do something Douching actually kills infection prevent- that even the most richest, self-righteous - ing bacteria but hey, it must be worth it to man can't - give birth. smell clean and fresh. All we have to do now is take control The biggest problem of all - you of our bodies and learn to be happy with guessed it - commercials advertising tam- what we have - we don't, need beauty pons and pads. Do we really need to know creams, scented body sprays, douches and about pads with wings, and extra thin ab- all of the other feminine products designed sorption layers, and new tampons for teens? to empty our pockctbooks. Now, don't get me wrong - pads and tam- pons are important products which womyn There's not really anything we can do need, but do we really have to endure all of about this whole thing right now. Equaliz- the supposedly creative and innovative ad- ing the society we live in is going to take a vertising plo> ;? I mean, we have to buy long time, but for right now, do yourself them anywayr ; so why spend thousands of and the rest of the world a favour. Unplug dollars making politely evasive commer- your television. Don't buy products whose cials with doves and dancers with ribbons advertisements offend you. Cord Guide Update! Cord Feedback A selection ofthe last week's comments Without Beer Chat 1 have no reason to As most on-campus residents realize, residence from the Cord Feedback booth in the live. BANG! extension numbers were not included in the Cord Concourse every Thursday. Martin Cheski Guide's telephone listings. This was due to poor don't like the new from issue #11 Good article Virginia. I timing and very tight production deadlines. system either. It sucks! Beer Chat is the godliest article. Andrew Hopper Wayne Kennedy As a result, the Cord will be publishing either a list of Dynamic Duo is the best (especially in classes). residence extensions or a suppliment residence Think like a bass. boring directory that will be inserted into the December 2 Jason Doucette Kris Mausser Cord Guide to Laurier's issue of the Cord. Michael Jordan's retirement only a month Curious about the phone numbers? late. Keep up the good work! missing the residence on this Sean Hennessy Check out the announcement page. Only those who want their extensions published will Sheldon Page be included. If you do not want your extension to be Where's Beer Chat? The Cord needs more included in the suppliment, please contact the humour! Housing Office. Lynn McCuaig THE CORD Thursday, November 11,1993 CLASSIFIEDS 27 "" . Kiufc, . WAiMibU-loanatrombt. „ , - - . . — "MAI ,., itt \J\V^\\> GRE- LSAT Since ~ Self help group starting at ® W79 thousands of students have Bricker. Interested? Write Box sn REALLY tired). Friday November 12th at 7pm benefited from the expert tnstruc- 4" in the Niobe Lounge...lfs a Mj y 746-6056. tion in John Richardson's prepara- 3 MONTY PYTHON MOVIE -— — tion courses. LSAT and GRE ALPHA OMEGA: STRONG R jnF wAntfn Tn anH from NIGHT! Showing: courses run this month! GMAT in £ EN OUGH FOR A MAN, BUT YELLOWBEARD, The Mean- '°on Fridav November I 'Bs Toyota Tercel December! - 1 800 567-PREP MADE FOR A WOMAN. ing of Life, Life Of Brian. wi|| 5" r fl n 8«T ?qqo o For Sale. 144,000 kms. 3 new (7737). Members get in FREE and Non- 885- 3^71 SheTdonMieiaon. (i)t tires, new rad. new exhaust. L CO-ED INTRAMURAL members donate a loonie! All perfect running condition. NEED HELP WITH YOUR HOCKEY/RINGETTE. If are welcome' $1,500.00 COMPUTER? CTjOCf—Cm O(interested contact Julia or - - Work 884-1970 x3227 Get help with: tyljPauline at 725-9443. Ann: President's Choice Choco- i ,-J - L. 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Why are * * photog- , „ wearing rlVi bl^N r 11l studenH tours for112 thei past 11Tyears, you my h writing, desktop publish- J Bolding, italics, and underlin- we are ,o° the b t0 king ing add $0.05/ ing, and interpretingK b rpolitical t would be for the best if I didn't word. , promote our comoanv. Bestcom-f bullshit. Apply today. comc around t0 see y°u mission structure available so .lAN-APRIL SUBLET - Deadline: Noon Tuesday for pi II 744 anymore?" FISHER Two rooms available in large fur- DRUG PROBLEM? We can SCHEFFIELD'S EPILOGUE that week's publication. help. 11Q? rAT t and rOMPARF nished home. 5 min to WLU. To Call Narcotics Anonymous 651- continues each week in The rre xn anyonfmyuine.. share with two others. MUST SEE. 1121(17) Cord Where: Drop by the Cord on """"" " " Call 725-0345 for info. - the third floorofthe Student's - (HjßOlMSfPlfPt® iPjSKISSIHBISj KEEP IN MIND dropping Union building. :: ■ vf-'j 1 — OP p \)\ If^ 1P C j courses now costs money! 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