Production Posse's Funky Word of the Week
An exclamation used to scare away hens, birds, etc.
"The Hethethat binds since 1926" Volume XXXVCord • Issue Twenty • Wednesday, February 1,1995 • WLU StudentPublications THIS ISSUE Oh so sassy! Why do I think Sass Jordan just might not appreciate being called Sassy. Great picture, sassy! though. We would have liked to have run a great -»x«y strike picture on the cover, but guess what? There was no strike here. Anything that refers to a strike see page IS does not go over well at Lauiier. I wonder why. We play biz games instead. news
Well, it was a great idea in theory. Student-run course evaluations have raised some controversy with their methods and results. So $7000 for "human error"? I low will VP McCormick deal with this in these pre-election days? Check out the story on page 3. Guess what? The govern- ment lied to us. I'm shocked. Check page 3. opinion
Our pleas for letters really paid off. We were flooded with letters this week. It's great! But please remem- ber, we need a signed hard copy of the letter, even if it is sent via e-mail. How else do we know you sent it? Excellent editorial by Mark Heasley, the happy-go-lucky guy. He actually burned his S.I.N, card. Thanks for the fumes. feature
Take a walk to the other
side in this week's feature . about a few "alternatives" in Waterloo. A "random" selec- tion of places are reviewed. I love the Orange Monkey guy! Great pics Marion. Please notice the article about the music mosaic at Laurier. An under-rated treasure. Then again, when is the last time I went out to hear them. sports Just about everybody won MCKAY this week. Women's hockey blew away Windsor. The SCOTT Men's Basketball team final- ly won, and is brought to you in full colour by Ralph Spoltore, Laurier's PICTURE: number one fan. And a huge honkin' Leaf Talk. Don't forget the hockey pool, folks. Check the' Cord offices for full update of standings. entertainment "Brother, Great article by Eric Green canyou spare $17,000?" and after an Scott McKay TOM HRUBES YOUR PENSION The GSA also made 10 000 protest post- to visit exciting roadtrip Cord News • EAT THE RICH, BUT TAX THEM FIRST cards that were distributed to students across Sass. about Sorry the On January 25th the much-publicized and • PICK ON SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN TAX Ontario. The GSA is affiliated with the Stetson cut, guys. Fantastic much-debated national students' strike took BRACKET Canadian Federation of Students hut still from Brad this week. it out in trivia Ross Try Wilfs • place. Strikes were conducted at university WE DON'T NEED SCHOOL! WE'LL JUST chose not to participate in the strike due to for a laugh. I leaven knows you will have enough Campuses across Canada to protest the SELL DRUGS! practical considerations. time while waiting for your complicated salad and Liberal government's proposed changes to One of the popular chants was: "Striking is not in the l>est interests of the water. education funding. • LIBERALS TAX, LIBERALS AX, STABBING graduates" according to Dawn Porter, head of two cents worth I The protests lived up to expectations as STUDENTS IN THEIR BACKS the GSA, "since half the graduate population an approximate 80 000 to 94 000 students Locally, a group called WPIRG (pro- is off campus." Reading week...ahhh. Guess throughout Canada participated. The protests nounced Wuh-PURGH) or Waterloo Public She went on to defend the strike action, what? Student Publications were especially large and vocal in major Interest Group marched from U of W to the saying "The CFS has gotten a lot of negative might actually have a race cities such as Toronto and Montreal. offices of local MP Andrew Telegdi after tak- comments. They have sat in front of [federal for positions for their Board In Toronto, a crowd estimated between 6 ing part at a rally at the Daina Porter library. Human Resources Minister Lloyd] Axworthy in this year's election. Nice 000 and 10 000 people gathered at Ryerson According to organizers, approximately and talked to him. We realized that he wasn't change. But if you want real excitement, and the to protest the cuts and be entertained (or tor- 250 people took part. They were happy with going to listen. Why not let the students ability to change things, apply for Cord positions. 1 mented) by the sounds of Moxy Fruvous. the turnout after pointing out "a lack of sup- show Axworthy how they feel?" hear Editor-in-chief is a real hoot. Buy a popscicle. In Montreal, another crowd of approxi- port" from local student leaders. The GSA is currently also attempting to mately 10 000 to 15 000 showed up to Once at Telegdi's office, they crammed arrange a meeting with local MPs in conjunc- protest the government's proposals. In into his hallway where he came out to tion with Waterloo graduate students. ...Where it's at... Hamilton, 1 500 protesters blockaded address the group. Various people replied On the same campus, however, WLU Highway 403- and gave "thoughtful criticisms," according to Students' Union did nothing, although inter- Even in St. 000 News 2 Johns, 5 people gathered organizers. est was expressed in having an open fomm at their Student Union building for a protest. At the WLU campus, the Laurier Graduate where students could have their questions on Opinion 7 Many of the protesters carried colorful ban- Students' Association handed out infomiation the proposed reforms answered. Feature 10 ners and screamed various chants. packages to its members. Included in the With Parliament reconvening in a week, Sports 12 Some of the banners included: packages was the booklet the government and a budget clue in three weeks' time, Entertainment 15 • BRING BACK YOGIC FLYING gave to students that attempts to explain the January 25th may well have been the last Neu Student Kitsch 18 • BROTHER CAN YOU SPARE $7 000"' reasoning behind the proposed cuts to social gasp against the seemingly inevitable govern- • TODAY Classifieds 19 EDUCATION, TOMORROW security. ment cuts. Cmccm £xf>(t '95
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~ NOMINATIONS FOR THE WLUSU o AND WLUSP ELECTIONS CLOSE 112 } Ll^F FEBRUARY 2ND AT 4:30 PM. ~-&Wnr WLUSU PRESIDENT WLUSP PRESIDENT V ( 1y j WLUSU VP UNIVERSTIY AFFAIRS WLUSU BOARD OF DIRECTORS J ) WLUSP BOARD OF DIRECTORS I ELECTION PACKAGES AVAILABLE IN STUDENT UNION OFFICE NEWS Unemployment higher Why does the high student unemploymentrate go unreported?
the employment situation is on the back from the government The last thing this generation bleak. telling us how things are better. In needs is to be told by those who Having worked at September of 1994, the same unem- have jobs to keep going to school, Statistics Canada I can honest- ployment rates had dropped to 18% when clearly most graduates don't ly tell you that the real situa- and 13.3% for males and females end up with the kind of work that tion (forget what the older respectively. This pathetically small they went to school for in the first generation says) is dishearten- change is mostly attributable to stu- place. Surely one does not need to ing for people our age. dentsreturning to school. incur four years worth of OSAP In August of 1994, the Keep in mind that the unem- debts to qualify for a chance at national unemployment rate ployment rate does not reflect those working at McDonald's. for males between the ages of who got discouraged and quit look- In these days of "awareness" of 15 and 24 was 18.3%. For ing for work. disadvantaged groups in society, the females it was 14.2%. We If it did, then the "real" unem- government and the media have haven't seen rates like that ployment rate would be near 25% failed to notice the largest disadvan- since the Depression (actually to 30%. The fortunate ones that are taged group of all. Perhaps they
we have — in June of 1993 it hired typically don't find the jobs have noticed, but hope to smooth was up to 21.3% for males.) they were educated to do; rather, over the status quo. JAY SLADE For returning students, the So where's the headlines? Where they settle for anything that will get Students don't have the time and Cord News Commentary search will be limited to those four is "big brother" talking about a cri- their rent paid off. The government resources to demonstrate and February is a depressing sort of month "I'll do anything"-type jobs sis? If these kinds of figures were for and many academics suggest the protest anyway. The next time the month for thousands of students all until September. For graduating stu- your parents' generation there solution is job training programs media tells you that the nation's across Canada. Why? It's time again dents, the word "career" draws ever would be hell to pay. and other civil service make-work- unemployment rate is 9-8%, remem- to think about job prospects. so close. For all students, however, Instead, we get some token pat projects. ber that for you, that means 19.8%. Discussion or done deal?
STEVE KARPIUK Canadian Federation of Students (CFS) WLU's Students' Union doesn't repre- Cord News showed that some students do believe that sent the feelings of all student body gov- Are politicians really willing to sit clown with they still can and should make a difference. ernments, though. students and hash out the proposed university Strike co-ordinator Pain Frache has been Jean-Francois Venne, President of the funding reforms? Or is it a clever political ploy quoted by a university student publication as University of Ottawa student council, intended to make people believe that the out- saying that "even non-member campuses are explained that at a November 21 meeting come of the "discussion paper" is not pre- doing something. There is a phenomenal res- with Axworthy, only 35 student leaders ordained? onance of action to show the government." had access to him during a 45 minute dis- Dalton McGuinty, MPP Ottawa South and On January 25th life on the Laurier cam- cussion, and they were able to ask only Lilieral Education Critic, has an optimistic out- pus was business as usual. The WLU Students' four questions of him. look in that he feels that the entire process is Union, being a member of the Ontario Venne says that "if they start a real still open to serious discussion. He says that Undergraduate Students Association, followed consultation, we'll stop all the protests the federal politicians are aware of all of the their "Talk, Not Walk" policy. and we'll work through the channels that "negative feedback" and will most likely lake The basis for the Students' Union's refusal are put in place." this into consideration when it comes time to to support the CFS strike is their belief that Melissa Redmond, a member of IMPRINT draft a final copy based on the discussion the "strike is the wrong way to invoke Students for Social Justice to Educate paper. change." Vice President of University Affairs McGill Students about the Axworthy McGuinty recognizes that the situation has Scott McCormick feels that the students of Reforms, believes the "Ministry's consulta- Teen interpreted as being "very sensitive" by Laurier have been well at talks tion to a screen ROBERTSON, I represented methods be smoke the concerned federal politicians, and based concerning the direction of the discussion because the basic decisions have already JEFF on these realizations they are considering the paper. He contends that they have had an been made." Anti-Axworthy student protests: effective matter "very closely." "open line of discussion" at both the federal Redmond is noted in another student demonstrations or a waste of time? In these times of fiscal restraint, McGuinty and provincial levels. publication as stating that the process is PICTURE: feels that everyone will have to endure bud- McCormick feels that at these discussions, like "someone else asking the questions and The WLU Students' Union maintains thai a get cut-backs, but no particular group should federal Human Resources Minister Lloyd telling you what to answer. It says, 'Here's my strike would be a "last resort." McCormick be made to absorb the majority of them. Axworthy expressed a genuine interest in the vision of Canada. You tell me which parts you feels that participation in the strike would The January 25th strike sponsored by the concerns of the students. like. 1" serve to "discredit students" at Laurier. Prof marks questioned
LEE HEWITT such surveys. They will "be ironed At press time, the presence of gating the situation. However Brian nations for the Small Business Cord News out" in later evaluations, he added. neither error had been confinned or McQuinn, the WLU Business co-op office, acknowledges the probability The Students' Union's inaugural stu- The main concern was an error denied and the Union is still investi- student who administered the eval- of a mistake. "It's a first time effort," dent-run course evaluations have in the quantitative evaluations of Continued on page 5 been the target of some criticism two political science professors - Dr. recently. At the heart of the contro- Alistair Edgar and Dr. Judith Oakes. versy are challenges to the survey's Dr. Edgar, professor of Political Business "More beer!" and games: accuracy validity. Science (PO) 231, and Dr. Oakes The results, published in the professor of PO 263, were given Union's advertising supplement in identical numerical evaluations. ROXANNE COPPENS Business Trivia, the only events that measured intelli- last week's Cord, have raised a few Although the comments and course Cord News gence. The overall winner of the games was Western, statistical issues. Questions also recommendation figures were accu- "Beer! More Beer!" was just one of the many cheers who heat out Manitoba by three points. 1-aurier tied have been brought up with regard rate, the quantitative data appear to heard at the Undergraduate Business Games held at with McGill for fifth. to the wording and accuracy of have been duplicated for both pro Laurier last weekend Hie Spirit Award, which is considered by many to some of the evaluation's comments. fessors. Teams of 45 students from each of McGiil. be the most important award, was awarded to McGill. The Students' Union still firmly Another apparent flaw in the Concordia,, Pennsylvania State, Manitoba, Western, All teams participate in the vote for this award, and supports the publication and the data occurred with regard to a third Queen's, and York visited Laurier to compile in sport- teams are restricted from voting for themselves. efforts of the Small Business year psychology course (PS 318). ing events and intellectual competitions. Although 360 enthusiastic students usually means Consulting Service's office in admin- The percentage of students who The games took on a "trash week" atmosphere: problems, the games turned out to be successful and istering it. Any factual errors, said would recommend the class was 88 whoever can yell the loudest is the best, strangers are enjoyable for all. M.J. Glassco, Games' Chief Vice President: University Affairs - a figure that is impossible consid- suddenly your best friends, and excess drinking occurs Ambassador, said "It was nice to see Laurier host such Scott McCormick are the product of ering the sample size (5) is only at all evening functions. an event. It gave Laurier a great reputation and really an "element of human error" in divisible by factors of 20. laurier placed first in Jeopardy and Monitor put Laurier on the map."
• • The Cord News February I, 1995 3 Breaking free with H.O.P.E. Student group is making sure that eating disorders don'tgo unnoticed
ANNA FORSTER the prevalent and invasive media H.0.P.E., a group of UW and how to implement some of the sug- details. CORD NEWS image that equates thinness and WLU students and alumni, is work- gestions made. The group has now The Eating Disorder Awareness February 6 to 12, 1995, is National beauty with success and love. ing towards acheiving a community grown to 16 members who attempt Week Planning Committee for Eating Disorder Awareness week, National Eating Disorder which recognizes and accepts peo- to increase awareness and take Waterloo Region is organizing a talk and the theme is Breaking Awareness Week is a time for both ple of all and shapes sizes. The ongoing action regarding body on February 7, 1995, from 7 to 9 Free...Celebrating Our Natural Sizes. women and men to learn, discover group originally formed in tody image issues and eating disor- pm. People will speak about their There will be an and information celebrate who we are. Eating December of 1993 as a Student ders. personal journeys with eating disor- booth set up in Concourse the at disorders and related issues can be Advisory Committee for the H.O.P.E. is open to new mem- ders. It be held in the Community Wilfkl Laurier University Monday, devastating, and it is essential to founder's Masters thesis. These bers (both men and women). Health and Social Services Building, February 6, in Davis and the Centre recognize that they are not prob- seven women volunteered to look People interested in joining can ask 99 Regina Street South, Waterloo, foyer at the University of Waterloo be lems to ashamed of. Help is at the results of students' needswith at the information booths, or call room 508. To register call Mary on Tuesday, February 7. Both available. regards to body image and plan Anna Forster at 884-9609 for Daly at 883-2253 x5297. booths will be open from 10 am to 5 and is pm, everyone welcome to 7:30 to 9 p.m, at the clinic. drop by. Through the booths, a group '- called H.O.P.E. (Helping Open 's Up Campus: is to edu- Around • People's Eyes) attempting JL Music at Noon. Recital Hall. Free cate students about body image and admission.
unrealistic body disor- Wednesday, • ideals, eating February J 8 p.m. T.A. Tickets $8 for students Saturday, February 4 Careers Expo. 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. • ders, dieting, undereating and Anthropology Club Funky Film Thursday, February 2 • Winter Carnival ends. Paul Martin Centre. overeating, food and weight preoc- Festival. 8 p.m. Niobe Lounge. Archaeology Society lecture with Sunday, February 5 • Careers for English and exercise, « cupation, nutrition and Musician's Network Winter Professor Michele George: Concert; WLU Symphony Communication Majors media influences. Carnival Talent Night. 8 p.m. "Sen-its and Domus-. The Slave in Orchestra. 3 p.m. Recital Hall. Workshop. 12 to 1 p.m. Room 4- While the emphasis is on eating Turret. the Roman House". 7:30 p.m. Free admission for Laurier stu- 305. disorders, there will be information • Reading Texts Workshop 12:30 to Room R137. dents. Wednesday, February 8
• available on a wide range of topics, 1:30 p.m. Room P2Q27. Philosophy Club "very informal' 1 Monday, February 6 • Laurier Christian Fellowship including available help services, a • Concert: WLU Student meeting at the Huether. 5:30 p.m. 'Careers for Economics Majors teaching: "Spiritual Gifts" with guide to the nutritional needs of Composers. 8 p.m. Recital Hall. "til whenever. Workshop. 11:30 to 12:30 p.m. speaker Dave Fish. S101. 5:30 women, and pamphlets from Free admission. • Careers for Music Majors Room PI007. p.m.
• Media • • Watch on letter writing. Resume. ACQS Form Writing Workshop 12 to 1 p.m. A43I Janetie Turner Hospital, winner of Amnesty International meeting. Eating disorders, and other Workshop. 1:50 to 2:30 p.m. -Patricia Guminer's multimedia Canada's Seal First Novel Award, 5:30 p.m. Niobe Lounge. harmful behaviours and thoughts, Room 5-304. painting display official opening. speaks on "The Lady and the • Debating Society meeting. 5:30 are the symptoms of a world where • Careers for Geography and Urban 2 to 3 p.m. Unicorn: On the Nature of p.m. Room LI26. eveiyone but us decides what our Studies Majors Workshop. 11:30 Friday, February 3 Creativity." 8 p.m. Recital Hall. * Musician's Network presents bodies should look like. In such a to 12:30 p.m R
• • we are more than our bodies is theatre Lauder's presents: "The Concert: WW Jazz Ensemble. 8 Association presents "Alexander » Careers for Science Majors. 11:30 often the first step in overcoming Regeneration of George McGrafP p.m. Recital Hall. Techniques" with Boaz Freeman. to 12:30p.m. Room 5-205.
In the C©nc Feb 10 ONLY!
• 10am-3pm = •10% off our regular price!
4 February 1, 1995 • The Cord • News Advicefrom 1. provide a heating system capable that there are no outstanding bills leases: Legal Resources of maintaining a temperature of when you move in. Also, be 1. Deposits known as "key deposits" Is 21 degrees Celsius; and aware of any hook-up charges or "furniture rental" are illegal. 2. supply electricity sufficient for the that may appear on your first bill The only deposit that can be intended use of the dwelling. from the utility company. Get an demanded by the landlord is the Furthermore, Terry's lease states idea of what they have been in value of the last month's rent. When this explicitly that cable service is to be the past. You can either ask past you sign your lease, the landlord provided, even if Larry doesn't tenants, or call the utility compa- can ask for a deposit of last month's approve of negative-option billing. ny directly; rent, but no more. (Vote Ted Rogers for Prime 4. When dealing with cable televi- 2. The landlord is responsible for legal? Minister!) sion, determine which rooms will the maintenance of the property, The now-demoralized Larry be provided with paid cable ser- including appliances, painting, Landlord doesn't even lx)ther argu- vice (i.e., not illegally spliced etc. Tenants are not responsible STEVEN HUNWICKS AND is too cold in his house. ing anymore, so he agrees to have from the main line); for repairs unless they cause the JASON BILODEAU Terry soon discovers that his everything back on as soon as pos- 5. Where possible, try to include damage to the apartment or CORD NEWS house is getting no heat at all, and sible. utilities as a lump-sum payment house. You should not sign a This column follows the exploits of no electricity; but worse yet, no Terry was lucky this time; many with your rent, as this decreases lease that indicates otherwise. Terry Tenant and Larry Landlord, cable! Terry is suspicious! After a people fail to address utilities prop- your variable costs. Avoid Utilities can be a significant cost of and is intended to answer common few phone calls, he discovers that erly when they rent a place. Here "unique" arrangements such as renting, and poorly-worded lease questions on legal issues ofrelevance Larry has not paid any utility bills are some tips from Terry about utili- your landlord paying 3/10ths of agreements can be a horrible incon- to students at WW. 'Ihe advice given for months. When Teny asked Larry ties and leases: the cable bill every other month. venience throughout your rental is in no way intendedas a substitute about this, the only response he got 1. Explicitly define who will pay the Always remember that leases are period. forprofessional legal advice. was, "Oh, did I do that?" utilities, and which services are legally-binding contracts which you Be sure to get an accurate pic- Awaking from an alcohol- Terry, who is damn near an included; cannot get out of. Signing the dot- ture of what you're getting into. The induced coma, Terry notices that his expert in landlord-tenant relations, 2. If the landlord pays the utilities ted line means you sign your life staff of the Legal Resource Centre head is frozen to the carpet. Using quickly infonns Larry that the city's directly, the bills should always away, so you'll be liable for all 12 can help, and you can find us on his extraordinary sense of tempera- property standards bylaw dictates be in his name; months of rent. Here are some the third floor of the Student Union ture perception, Terry decides that it that landlords must: 3. If you pay the utilities, make sure other points to remember about Building. Course evaluations: worth it?
Continued from page 3 he said. The Union, he said, used "heavy handed" lan- idea. He did not say no at that time, he the manner described by Dr. Greece. He said The Small Business consultants were com- guage as a means of "punishing recalci- recalled. After taking some time to consider he left four phone messages on the profes- missioned by the Union to act as a neutral trance," and "singling out" non-compliant pro- the offer, he said, he attempted to contact sor's voice mail, and two in-person visits were party in administering the evaluations. The fessors and encouraging future co-operation. McQuinn with his acceptance but his phone made to Dr. Greece's office. consultants have administered performance The wording, he said, did not accurately calls and messages were not returned. "Every effort was made to reach him," audits in the past, McCormick said, but never reflect his decision of non-participation. Dr. "It was his responsibility to come and see McQuinn explained. "In his choosing not to have compiled a student evaluation of this Freeman said that he was "willing to partici- me," Dr. Preece said, "not for me to see him." respond," he said, the professor, in fact, gave nature. pate" but eventually chose not to do so McQuinn counters that he did not act in a de facto "no" response. The service cost — because of per- $7 000 for one full sonal and pro- year - a price that Dr. Freeman described fessional rea- includes fall and win- sons. Grab Bag O' Crime ter term evaluations. this as "coercive." The Despite the poten- McQuinn main- Theft Under $ 1000 First aid was administered to a WLU student tial errors, McCormick Students' Union used tains that the 1503 Hrs Tue 24 jan 95 who had accidentally cut his finger with a stands by their work. 'refusal clause' A WLU student reported that her wallet was razor blade. No further medical treatment was "I have no problem was fair, deny- taken from her bag when she left it unattend- required. with their work," he "heavy handed" lan- ing any mali- ed for a short time. Non-Reportable MVA said, adding that cious intent. Medical Assist 2030 Hrs Sat 28 Jan 95 I.aurier students guage to"single out" "Two hours 0940 Hrs Thur 26 jan 95 A minor collision occurred in lot #3 when a received "g(x>d value were spent An ambulance was called to assist a WLU vehicle struck another while backing up. for our dollar." non-compliantprofes- working out the staff member regarding a medical condition. Cause Disturbance The decision to wording," Uttering Threats 0330 Hrs Sun 29 Jan 95 hire the Small sors to encourage McQuinn said. 1900 Hrs Thur 26 Jan 95 A report was received regarding two intoxi- Business office was "It was chosen A WLU student reported receiving mail in her cated males about to engage in a fight in made, McCormick co-operation. with some file which was of a threatening nature. The Bricker Residence. The complainant advised said, future because they are thought behind matter is currently under investigation. that they had left the building. fairly inexpensive and it." Mischief Accidental Injury reputable. He calls the staff "some of the best McCormick agreed, "We're not trying to 2235 Hrs Thur 26 Jan 95 0045 Hrs Mon 30 Jan 95 in the country." coerce anybody," he said. Person(s) unknown smashed a front window A WLU student was transported to hospital Dissatisfaction regarding the wording of Political science professor Dr. Rod Preece at 232 King. No suspects. after accidentally receiving a puncture wound certain responses was also expressed. Dr. Neil was given the same "refused" label on the Trespass to his upper chest from a paring knife. Two Freeman, a professor working for one year in Union's evaluations. 0325 Hrs Fri 27 Jan 95 males had engaged in horseplay in the first the political science department, took excep- The professor, however, said that he was An unwanted male guest was evicted from floor lounge of Little House "A" wing when tion to the wording of the phrase, "refused to in fact willing to comply with an evaluation of Conrad Hall after refusing to leave when one individual fell unto the knife, which was allow students in this course to participate," his PO 235 course. asked. on the couch in the lounge. He received 5 when mentioning those professors who were Dr. Preece said that he expressed some Medical Assist stitches to the wound and was released from not evaluated. "strong reservations" to McQuinn regarding 2235 Hrs Fri 27 Jan 95 hospital. Dr. Freeman described this as "coercive." the process, when first approached with the O colour vision I ) ISITA PROBLEM? J HEALTHY MALES REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY
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The Cord • News • February I, 1995 < 5 INTERNATIONAL Are the "Troubles" really over? Afirst hand view ofNorthern Ireland'speaceprocess TANIS GILBERT That is, until just recently, when the IRA broadened their tiating with, something they had sworn never to do until the Cord International attacks to include them. IRA had ended its reign of violence. John Major has faced Whenever I refer to my travel in Northern Ireland, the initial Just as the perception that one is always dodging bullets in much criticism from all sides for defying this enduring policy.
response tends to be rather - consistent one of concerned Northern Ireland is wrong, so is the belief that peace has When the talks began, violence continued and the IRA queries based on negative impressions found in the media. brought astronomical change. Surprisingly, it has not. Veiy lit- refused to give up its arsenal. Additionally, Sinn Fein has Isn't the present IRA (Irish Republican lx)mb Army) shelling tle in the day to day lives of the Irish has changed. always denied any relationship or contact with the IRA. Yet situation dangerous? Why would you want to go there? Aren't All in all, the most significant difference I noticed was the Gerry Adams, leader of Sinn Fein, was known to be the IRA's you afraid will shot? you get freedom of time that the lifting of restrictions had given them. primary media relations officer during the years preceeding Because of my paternal relations and therefore inseparable No more having to deal with numerous roadblocks all over his political leadership. ties with my father's hometown of Belfast, I find the country the north, no more security checks, no more security zones Ironically, although there is no supposed connection breathtaking, yes, its and people incredibly friendly. closing off sections of cities, and lastly, they can feel safer between the two, Sinn Fein is still able to act as the IRA's rep- Unfortunately, the countly's infamous reputation is a direct when they leave the house. resentative in government. terrorist result of activity, visibly present since the 19605, The existence of peace will not be completely positive, Despite the small 4% the Sinn Fein represent of the overall as "The known Troubles", which, sadly enough, tarnishes this however. Yes, the economy will improve, but since the North Irish population, (11% in the North and 2% in the Republic), wonderful country of my ancestry. the political scene focuses on it, as does the prospect for I he summer ol 1994 brought the announcement from peace. John Major, that the British government was engaged in talks Threatsand bomb scares After all, the future and any hope for political stability with Sinn Fein, a party dedicated to the unification of Ireland. depend on it. To the other 96% of the Irish population, how- He also announced the imminent and pemianent cessation of are a way and the ever, the power Sinn Fein exudes in the government is not violence by the IRA. This was one of the first signs of hope oflife, justified, as they do not share their passion for unity. lor resolution the ol a deeply ingrained problem. Northern Ireland has seen ceasefires before, and since the Over the a last quarter century, thousands of people have detonation ofbombs IRA refuses to give up their arsenal, this has given Ulster no fallen victim to the turmoil of the "Troubles". insurance for the future, no insurance that this peace will last. Furthermore, billions of worth pounds sterling of damage realityfor the Irish Also, this so-called peace came about all of a sudden, without to government buildings and general destaiction of towns any warning whatsoever, and began and remains behind have demonstrated that civil unrest holds no prejudice people as thousands closed doors. towards or property personage, in both Northern Ireland and As I began to pack to return home just after this past New England. have victim to the Year's, it was duly noted that this year is the year that will What began as political and religious tension fatten between the make or break peace in Northern Ireland. IRA and the government of the United Kingdom grew into a "Troubles" Although they remain skeptical and veiy cautious about complex conflict between diverse factions both supportive the prospect of lasting peace in their country, the Irish seem and critical of the IRA. to want to go far in order to ensure its continuation. On Since 1969, the people of Northern Ireland have had January 2, my last day there, the impossible seemed to hap- restrictions imposed upon them, such as periodic nightly cur- is part of the Commonwealth, its economy has always been pen. well fews, as as numerous road blocks and checkpoints. better than that of the Republic. Tourism will improve, and Amidst the very optimistic attitude of this brand new year, Entire sections of cities close at night. West Belfast, an area maybe there will be a decrease in the exodus of Ulster's a fire destroyed the Commons and Debating Chamber of the where extremists from both sides live in close proximity, is young people. The Irish youth have never known anything Ulster Parliament Buildings at Stormont - the very chamber divided by the carefully patrolled Falls Road, or "peace line", but violence in their homeland, and have increasingly been where preliminary talks were being held with Sinn Fein. The as it's called. moving to Canada, like my father, or to England, like many of seat of the fonner Northern Irish parliament was, albeit ironi- lx)inb Threats and scares are a way of life and the detona- my friends. cally, "set to rise from the ashes" after "John Major's promise tion of bombs a reality for the Irish people. The Irish have had The problem, however, is that with peace comes uncer- of a restoration of democracy in Northern Ireland," according to live in constant tear of getting caught in the crossfire tainty and potential clanger. Those who made their living by to the January 3rd Ulster edition of the News Letter. between the IRA and the Royal Ulster Constabulary, the taking advantage of the "Troubles" will now turn to other Suspicion mounts that the fire was the work of the IRA, or armed forces regiment of the UK whose job it is to protect the practices, such as dmg trafficking and an increase in prostitu- at least some anti-peace faction of it. citizens of Northern Ireland. tion; both actions echoing those of the American Mafia in the Although at this time it is denied by the Royal Ulster Regardless of the situation however, the middle class was days following Prohibition. Constabulary that there is any evidence to substantiate this not visibly affected until recently, when it lx;came the catalyst The results of the "Troubles", however, have not all lx?en thought, who is to say that the RUC would not cover up any for peace. negative. Ulster now toasts one of the best transportation sys- terrorist activity in order to try and make the peace last a little Other than small inconveniences, such as having to leave tems in all of Europe, a result of the necessity for fast and easy while longer? This is the opinion of Rev. Lan Paisley, the for work a little earlier in case of a routine checkpoint, accept- access for emergency vehicles. They have produced some of leader of the Democratic Unionist Party, and it is an opinion ing security guards' personal searches upon entrance to a the best medical experts, especially in reconstructive surgery, shared by many. department store and the personal searches done by soldiers in the world. I guess it will be up to the people to decide what price upon entering pedestrian shopping districts, the lives of the Many Irish people are veiy hesitant about this so-called they are willing to pay for peace, and if they really want the middle class were fairly untouched by the "Troubles". "peace". Sinn Fein is the only group that Westminster is nego- kind of peace this will grant.
• 1995 • The International EUROPE6 ■ Febuary I, Cord OPINION
Editorial Burnforyour S.I.N.s Letters to the editor
to get the lectures back in sync. issue of The Cord contains several Student-run Had I not been singled out for inaccuracies which should be cor- being uncooperative I might never rected. First, I did not form the Acl survey badly have looked closely at the survey Hoc Committee on the Teaching HENSEL results reported, but on doing so I Evaluation Process, as the article run discovered a very significant error in states; rather I gladly volunteered to Dear Editor the presentation of the findings. It is sit on it, as I too have difficulties with MARION The statement in last week's Cord serious enough for students to ques- the current evaluation. (Senate supplement that 1 "refused to allow tion the competence of their leaders Executive formed the committee.) PICTURE: the students... to participate in the to tackle such a project and faculty And second, Mr. Hewitt omitted (WLUSU course)" cannot go without to question whether WLUSU can be one of my strongest concerns, raised I don't have a bra, so I'm burning my Social Insurance Number card comment. trusted with such sensitive informa- in connection with my comments instead. Well, it worked in the sixties didn't it? While many have celebrated this tion. regarding students' capabilities of I was pretty surprised by the looks I got when I said that I was "pilot project" as a triumph, its By my count there are 34 courses evaluating courses and those who going to do this. It was as if I had been caught nibbling on the Host integrity is sorely lacking both in in Mr. McQuinn's survey results. Ask teach them. My concern is that there and gulping down the sacred wine in church because I had the terms of the process in which it was yourself what are the chances in a is a little on the independent evalua- munchies. "But you need it for a job!" 1 was told. administered and the reporting of the sample of this size of two courses tion (and nothing on the existing Let me tell you something, when these cards were first being results. As the following will indicate, receiving exactly the same quantita- evaluation) to insure that students issued people were assured that they wouldn't have to give the num- Laurier students should demand tive results across 14 questions? My are in a qualified position to answer ber out because the numbers stand for personal demographic data. more of their student leaders. guess would be virtually nil, but in many of the questions. I'm sorry but You cannot legally lx_' asked for your Social Insurance Number, but What the publication of my unco fact this was the case for two politi- simply paying your fees and show- today you have to give it to apply for a job. What a total pooch- operatives does not reveal is that I cal science professors. How many ing up for class are not, in my view, screw. was originally willing to have my more results are questionable? even the minimum qualifications. Seriously now, what is the card lor? So you too can pay into the introductory political science classes Students should be aware that No, if students are given the right to social insurance system and one clay collect old-age pension. If you participate in the survey. However, I reputations are the stock in trade of evaluate the workload in a course, I think that you, who are reading this now, will ever collect on this was so appalled by the language of professors. It is all we have. Any mis- would want to know if they have then I've got some swamp land in Florida that I'd like to sell you. WLUSU "small business consultant", reporting of performance can delete- spent any time at all outside the class Wake up, Zippy! Brian P. McQuinn (who is actually a riously affect, if not irreparably harm, preparing class readings, reviewing As it is now, in typical aging Baby-Boomer fashion, those people co-op business student), that I our careers. With WLUSU's claim for notes from previous lectures, etc. If who are now between the ages of 35 and 52 are approaching the age changed my mind. the freedom to evaluate professors they have not, it seems to me they of retirement, fully expecting to be financially supported by the rest When I asked Mr. McQuinn who comes a responsibility to present the may well find most courses too diffi- of us. As if they've earned it and deserve it, because hey, they've paid would administer the survey, he said results correctly. Mr. McQuinn's cult. If they are going to comment on into it for as long as they've worked. he would address the class and then administration of this round of sur- the relevancy and value of course Hardly. Today's average, married senior citizen paid $83 852 in leave a "girl" to pick up the surveys. veys leads me to wonder whether readings, I would want some confes- Social Security and Medicare taxes. The average senior gets back $308 I questioned his choice of words. WLUSU has enough liability insur- sion as to whether or not they actual- 328. Now. I'm not in Business, but that doesn't quite seem balanced He clarified that, "One of my profes- ance. ly read them. to me. Yes, that's American data but don't think for a second that just sors told me that having a good So no students may be mistaken, In short, as I mentioned to Mr. because you live in the GreatWhite North that you aren't in the same looking girl collect the surveys I wish to state that I am in favour of Hewitt, I would like to see a parallel crock of shit. increases the response rate." professionally administered course set of questions that at least attempts Canadian census data shows that right now 3-4 working stiffs sup- Believing that such practices were evaluations. I was instrumental in to guarantee that those doing the port an old-age pensioner, by the year 2030 there will only be 1.9 unbecoming of this university and one being set up at my own under- evaluating are in a position to do so. people for each pensioner. Translated, that means more taxes. Big would quite possibly impugn the graduate university and I have no I should mention that these views taxes. And you'll pay them, won't you? Yes you will. results of the survey, I infonned Mr. problem with Laurier students doing are my own and not necessarily Now we could cut old-age benefits, mind you it would be politi- McQuinn shortly thereafter that I did the same. I even suggested to Mr. those of the aforementioned commit- cal suicide for whoever did it. Show me a political hack who will do not wish to participate. He left with- McQuinn that Laurier's take the tee. And finally, if someone is coop- that and I'll show you a circus geek that bites the heads off of live out asking me why. catchy mock-Orwellian name erative enough to grant The Cord an chickens. I must point out that although I "Studentspeak: the WLUSU Course interview, please try a little harder to The fact is, the generation before us will not let that happen. was unwilling to participate, the Guide" rather than the present ensure accuracy. Thank you. They've taken the biggest slice of the pie, put the rest on top of the statement of my "refusal" in the Cord unimaginative offering. Dr. Charles Morrison Iriclge, and surrounded it with barbed wire. The shadowy lobby for is somewhat misleading. Two-thirds Neil Freeman Faculty of Music the elderly is surprisingly powerful, and will only become more so as of the students in POlOO/110 were Assistant Professor the bulk of people grow older. denied the opportunity to participate Political Science As we speak, the federal government is gearing up to finalize by Mr. McQuinn's decision, not Politically reforms to Canada's social security programs - you'd know it as the mine. He only wanted to survey one Axworthy Green Paper that is going to double your tuition. Nowhere of my three sections of the course. Correct does it mention anything about old age pension. Even in the part Besides the question this posed for Look harder where it says that "the next generation of social programs must not the veracity of the results he was Bandwagon just share the wealth, and protect those who are disadvantaged seeking, his plan was also not for accuracy Dear Editor among us, they must actively create opportunity for Canadians..." acceptable to me because it would Dear Editor I'd hate to spoil anyone's party, but 1 Admittedly it wasn't the forum for the pension issue, but I haven't have thrown off my lecture schedule Lee Hewitt's article, "Prof report know I'm not alone when I say that heard anything about any reforms there have you? Of course not, when there was precious little time cards are in", in the January 25, 1995 Continued on page 8 these are the people who are going to be collecting in a few years. The pension system is going to go bust, it's that simple. I accept How many that. accept that I'm going to have to save for my old age without a business I ) hope of outside help. students does it take I'm not saying that right now all senior citizens are wintering in to raise a dollar Florida, sipping Ovaltine or anything. I'm saying that right now you for and I are throwing money into a black hole while being reassured charity? we'll be for. that provided VOCALBY: "BRAVE SOUL" ROB GOLVERCORD Hold it there buddy. I'm not some inbred swamp-person right out In a meaningless universe, the of "Deliverance". Neither are you. I hope. Why live the lie? Maybe act of business students raising instead of throwing eggs and macaroni we should throw flaming One. a dollarfor charity' is somewhat Social Insurance cards, maybe it would get the point across. I'd rather not say problematic and a symptom of 3rd Year the limited discourse in our Editorial by Mark Heasley, News Editor Hons. Business capitalist culture. llxf (pinions eApressed in Ibis editorialare those oftheauthor aiul do not necessarily iv/k'd ibose ofthe Zoe Baker rest Cord staff, or pitblislx?r, Student Publications. of/he ofits WW 2nd Year Hons. Teething
Editorial Board Cord Staff Public Relations Manager Harjil Sboan The (brd will not prim anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as Editor-in-Chief Ingrid Nielsen Production Assistants Jeremy Ken' Advertising Manager Tim Silk deemedby the stair:is a voting IxxJy. The(»ixl will not print anything in violationof its Gxle ofKth'ics. outlined in The G>rd oinstitution. G>al subscription rates are # 15.00 News Editor Mark Heasley Andrnt' While Ad Sales Representatives Vacant theCord |X'r term loraddresses within Gmada. and J 18.00 lor outside the- country The (bill is Associate News Editor Classified Coordinator >' Amanda I fowling Trudylioiveis Ad Production Manager Mara Haldassarre printed by GinWeb Printing. The Curd is a memh Ginadian l lniwrsity Pass All A WilfridLaurier University Entertainment Editor Charles Fairley Circulation and Filing Adam Dattaway Ad Production Assistants Horn comnx'ntar)' is strictly theopinionof thewriter anuti • i>- ! ivawuily relV-ct those ol Jane stall, board, © Student Assistant Entertainment Editor Shawn Callan Copy Editors l.ibbi Hood the Corel the editorial or WLU Publications Copyright ty WUJ Kerr > Publication Kelly Student Publications. 75 University Avenue West. Water* ' JntarioN2L3<-5- Sports Editor Scott Stiivion Dan Hneau Dairid Keith Assistant Sports Editor I'etc Robinson International Coordinator Lilian Scbaer Treasurer Sara Kossignoli Contributors: David I'opovich, Lee Hewitt, Marion llcnscl, Scott WLUSP Features Editor Greg Sloan Student Publications Staff Board ofDirectors McKay, Eric Green, Scott lon, Jim bird, viclanie Seal, Tanya Vcnnira, 75 University Avenue West, Matthew Rob Matt Production Manager Paul McU'an Photo Manager Keti Watson President Heather Mundell Blackcti, Jason Paul, McGowan, Lander, Ralph Spoltore, liblxrrcl, Anthony Minnitti, Sheldon "Grey Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 Staff Representative l.ibbi Hood Photo Technicians Marion Heme! Directors Susan Many Übbi Mood, Julius I Screen" Page, Artie Jay Slade, Roxanne Coppens, Steven (519) 884-2990 Erica Scime I'bitt Kinzitiger /.iff, DaiidJanzen Darren Mabajfy llunwicks, Jason Hilodeau, Jeff Robertson, Gary Vanl.ingen, Rob Fax: (519) 884-5596 Graphic Arts Technician Kim Hurley John McKenzie Tina Romano Glover. Advertising: (519) 884-5092 Art Director Anion Volcansek Sean Wilde Systems Administrator James Hendricksen
• The Cord • Opinion February I, 1995 " 7 8 1) spending one dainken evening at Phil's staff. against two students". ft jl | gawking at the freaks Jennifer Appleby However, we were extremely disappoint- *jj (jl 2) wearing Doc Martens, unless otherwise Jenny DeVries ed the '^SXl^editor by Cord's failure to be responsible in naked terms of objectivity in its recent article regard- Continued from page 7 3) Michael Bolton ing this incident. Remember, the language 4) gay, being lesbian, or bisexual Food Services used to describe an event can easily be dam- there are more important things to worry I thought this issue was - staff settled long ago aging to the effect which you are trying to about around the school than homophobia. sexual orientation is not a lifestyle, a prefer- taken care achieve. Once again, The Cord jumps on the ence, or a disease. 1 thought we were of all In this case, those parties representing one Politically and Correct minority bandwagon aware of the apparent continuum of sexual Dear Editor side of the issue were depicted in militant champions a cause that many people have no behaviour along which the human animal It is alarming to the food service staff to terms. Also, the allegations were described as interest in. I'm sure you if issued a poll on travels. To reduce our nearly infinite variety read the inaccurate information in Melanie "terrible", "harsh" and in other negative con- and campus asked students to list the 10 of sexual possibilities to "nomial" and "alter- Seal's article in the Cord on January 18, 1995, notations. Meanwhile, those parties attempt- issues at Laurier they are concerned about the native" doesn't seem to be conducive to any regarding the status of the staff in the Torque ing to speak from the other perspective dis- most, homophobia wouldn't lx; one of them. broadening of happiness or freedom for any- Room. The decision to close the Torque cussed family unity, a theme which was Perhaps you had two if full page spreads one. Room and move to the Food Court will not picked up by the authors of the article in about the food on campus, or tuition increas- Also, it would appear that the responsibili- leave the University's union employees job- depicting the "intense bonds" created by ath- or es, other relevant topics that affect the ty tor education and awareness-raising is less as the article indicated. The University letics within the university community. whole of the student body, we'd care. once again in the hands of the disadvantaged and WLUSU are finalizing the appendices to a Furthermore, the highlight of Ralph Spoltore's This anti-homophobia campaign won't population. If only queers were more "visi- food service staff at WilPs, the Food Kiosk, as quote was taken out of context. At first realize its intended effects either. I've heard a ble", more "out", so's we kin git used to 'em, well as the Dining Hall. These three locations glance, one is led to believe that Spoltore lot ot talk in class about the posters that have don't you know, then maybe we won't feel will ensue all food service staff are employed fully supports the accused, a charge which been put up and The Cord's spreads about the need to stomp all over their rights. When this fall. he, in fact, vehemently denies within the con- homosexuality in general, and many people will we straight folk make it our responsibility To date, there has been no decision on text ofthe article. are pissed off. People can make their own to unlearn our homophobic attitudes, and the name for the new Food Court. Through Regardless of whether the article was pur- choices and don't need a student newspaper stop blaming the targets of our hatred and the University faculty, staff and student posefully intended to support the accuseds' and flashy posters to direct their thinking. It's fear for our own ignorance...? groups, we will ask for their opinion on perspective in this matter, comments made by not likely that this campaign will change Beth Haydl whether or not we should retain the Torque the Director of Athletics and Recreation many people's minds about homosexuals, Room name. If we decide to change the proved detrimental to the cause. What comes especially the average heterosexual male who name, the Food Service Committee, chaired to mind are his implications that this institu- resents 1lomosexual ity. Not an accurate by a student will select a new name for the tion is incapable of rallying together without So...get off the god-damned bandwagon, Food Court. the aid of an athletic event. Also, is stop being a bunch of bleeding-heart liberals, reflection On another matter several weeks ago, the Newbrough suggesting that the feelings of the and deal with issues we ALL care about. Dear Editor Cord offered its report card on WLUSU hockey team would not have been subdued George Kirk We would like to commend the Cord and Executive. From a personal perspective, I feel if they had not reached status in "the nation's Amal Moussaoui on a well written article that the Cord was somewhat harsh on Ralph top ten?" created awareness about Laurier's intolerance Spoltore. I am currently working with Ralph One final point: would it have made any Alternative to homosexuality ("Deal with it", Jan. 18). on several major projects and 1 have always difference to the authors of this article, had to However, there is one fact that was misrepre- found him to be well infonned on the issues the girl involved been one of our own}' what sented. Gary Van Lingen was quoted as stat- and to present the student point in an articu- Tanya Ventura Dear Editor ing that Laurier Residence Dons were "hos- late fashion. Angela Tousaw Things that constitute an "Alternative tile" and seemed almost afraid of him during Cliff Bilyea Lifestyle": a presentation on alternative lifestyles. We Director of Ancillary Services The Cord will be hosting the 1) wrist straps on your bedpost would simply like to point out that the pre- 2) vegan food sentation that Gary speaks of took place three Canadian 3) Nine Nails University Inch years ago. We are of the opinion that the Disappointed in Press 4) tattooed hands intolerant attitude that he perceived during Spring Conference Things that do not constitute an "Alternative that presentation is not an accurate reflection coverage February 10,11,12 Lifestyle": of the perspective of this year's Residence Cord Dear Editor, The three most important First off, we would like to establish the days this year for every fact that we are in no way attempting to take aspiring journalist. sides in the matter of the "harsh allegations cord feedback The quality of the dynamic duo is leaving a Go "View from the Fann"! I'm glad humour lot to desired. Where's the raunchy stuff lives on in the Cord. Now if you'd only from last tenn? bring back Mark Hand... Lorrie English Hugh MacPhie
Harley rocks my world - great job sitting at Intueri is the coolest thing I've ever seen. that table. No one sits like Harley. Apple Rahul Raj
No need to apologize - SBE sux! If I could find better ads in another paper, Scott MacGregor I'd shoot myselfi Incredible! Dave Kerth
Where would we be
sincere thanks tc)
'M JhMyjhWll
We could not have dog# itjf
- the staff«f4h«'%peiia'Blee*dl Office
• • 8 • February I, 1995 The Cord Opinion Presenting the Hammeroids... PlayingLob ball on the ol' homestead
GREG SLOAN way. Lob ball is my game. You thing is just for fun. That is, until the if I'm going to slide. Then, I drop plimentary pass, so we feel obliged Cord Opinion know, the "sport" where you throw year end tournament. Then the ten- my butt and use it for an anchor. It to go in the name of value. Once With the Super Bowl last weekend, the soft ball a few feet in the air and sion begins. After all, a Coors Light doesn't look pretty, and I usually inside, amidst stories of bravery NHL hockey players hack on the hope it comes down onto a small bat bag is at stake. have a hard time sitting for a achieved on the diamond earlier ice, and college and pro basketball piece of rug you borrowed from while. that day, many beverages are con- in full swing, the sports fan can be your dad's garage. Trust me, During one tournament, I sumed. once again fulfilled. No more will it's as ludicrous as it sounds. was racing home. Someone on 9:30 comes quickly the next sports junkies be forced to watch The name of our team is our bench got excited and morning. As you're pulling on the Bowling for Dollars to get a quick the Hammer Express. I feel yelled "slide." Without look- old track pants you question fix. honoured because my nick- ing, and very close to the whether you can survive the car That is, until the summer. It name hack home is Hammer. plate, I flung my body to the ride there, let alone the run from could be a long one. Everything When trying to come up with aVIEW FROM ground. I soon discovered first to second. The only consola- depends on whether the over- name my brother (the captain)THE that the bag really does help tion is the rest of the team feels the priced boys in pinstripes will end tossed around a few ideas with to break my fall. The plate didn't same way. This isn't usually a good their silly strike. If not, scab players our big slugger, Brad. They mustFARMPlaying just for fun have the same effect. Instead, it felt thing. If we can survive the first few will probably be forced upon an have figured I sort of embody the increases the blooper reel. Taist me, sort of like ninning a cheese grater innings without giving up a bizzil- unsuspecting public. spirit of the team, so they worked I've seen it all. Guys colliding into across your flesh. Except you ion runs, we're usually okay. The I'm not too worried. As every- with variations of Hammer. each other in the outfield, guys col- wouldn't want to put the remains of blood starts flowing again about the one knows, it's much more fun to Personally I liked "The liding into themselves in the infield, my wounded rump on your sixth inning. Unfortunately there are play a spoil than to simply watch it. I lammeroids", but unfortunately the guys colliding into themselves on nachos. only seven innings in these games. So this summer, like many previous use of my nickname was all I was the base path. Do you sense a basic- One game a couple of summers The worst case scenario is when summers, I hope to be back out on allowed to contribute. trend here? ago our team was short of players one of your players, how can I say the diamond throwing around the We play in a recreation league Personally, I have a problem so we grabbed someone we knew this, gives you a graphic image of old ball. in Blenheim. There are no umpires, sliding. The thing is, 1 don't decide who was watching. He was playing what he ate for supper the night Am I in a hard ball league? No the games don't matter and every- until I'm a tout a foot from the bag third base, and a slow dribbler was before. hit towards him. He bent over to This happened once to one of scoop it up and then RIIIIIP. He our friends, who was on a team blew his shorts out. playing before us. By time we got Unfortunately he didn't have there he had already puked. When Media deceives anything else to put on, and it was we saw him he was laying on the early on in the game, and we need- dugout bench with his head on a ed him. And unfortunately, 1 was in pillow. Who the heck brings a pil- Journalarticles are selectively chosen to explore the outfield that game. Let me tell low to a lob-ball game?!! you, that was quite a view. I prayed So if you ever have a chance, The journal "Developmental Psychology", in its most attempt to give this false impression a facade of he wouldn't bend over again. So of catch a lob-ball game, or even bet- recent publication, dedicated the entire issue to topics respectability. Such an attempt to create falsehood like course the other team hit the ball to ter, participate in the festivities your- related to sexual orientation. this should make anyone leery of ever taisting the him as much as they could. self. If you're already on a team, The media, in this case Canadian Press, put out a media. Sunday morning games are the here's a little advice for you: as ludi- small set of articles for the various newspapers about The result of this falsehood will likely mean that toughest for us to play. If we get crous as it sounds, always make the contents of this issue. While it is admirable that fearful parents will try to "reshape" their children's past that game, we usually place sure an extra pair of shorts are the media turned its attention to something more than sexual orientation by limiting play behaviours. high in the tournament. The prob- handy. You never know when the OJ Simpson trial and even something so academic While such flagrant mis-reporting is heinous in and lem is that most tournaments host a someone may need them. And as "Developmental Psychology", the attempt pro- of itself, the fact that they ignored the rest of the jour- ball game dance on the Saturday that's the view from the farm for duced nothing more than mis- nal was even worse. By night. Each player receives a com- this week. conceptions and ignorance. focusing on one article, The one article which was Canadian Press chose to highlighted over all the other avoid articles which state articles, (some 14 others), dealt that having gay or lesbian with the play behaviour of chil- parents has no effect on dren. The children in the study the sexual orientation of were, by and large, adult gay their children (so much for men who were remembering that fear of socialization), their childhood. The rest of the Inqueeries that lesbian parents by Gary van Lingen having study sample were children fol- does not affect the devel- Reaching lowed through time. opment of male children, and that the problems of 7 The study said that play behaviour (in this case gay, lesbian and bisexual youth have nothing to do Our boys who preferred more "feminine" play with dolls with their sexual orientation but rather with the soci- and other "traditional" girl's games), was a predictor of ety around them not accepting what is an immutable Outdoor sexual orientation. This in itself should not te any big fact. deal. It would indicate that sexual orientation is fixed Where were these when the report on the journal Friends at a veiy early age but it should not be taken as was being done? When does the ideal of profession- meaning that gay always equals effeminate. I for one al/reputable journalism change into mere polemic for do not recall any of this in my childhood. sensationalism? What the media reported of this article was that For the benefit of people here at this university it 2nd Annual Chinese cross-gendered play behaviour, rather than being a might well te worth your while to read the journal Auction & Dance predictor of sexual orientation, creates a gay or les- yourself. The media is at test unreliable in its taithful- bian identity in young children. Canadian Press even ness and it is tetter to find such information out for goes as far as to misquote one of the authors in its yourself rather than have the wolves feed it to you. WIN GREAT PRIZES! •VCR *Set of Tires •Car Alarm "Designer Sunglasses Barbecue *and much The Inaugural Wilfrid and Marion Schweitzer Lecture •Gas more!
~~ lal — / ALL.\ | rnvwCCUOADDAAC PfV^\ SB The Lady and the Unicorn: 1 ( J on the Nature of Creativity Janette Turner (LICENSED) VA t£\ °\ J2 Vevenjy Support a great cause and help February 6, 1995 ROOF keep KW youth off the street and get on with their lives? 1 3 Maureen Forrester Recital Hall 112 l 03 John Aird Centre Concordia club Wilfrid Laurier University 429 Ottawa St. S. ■ Free Admission I Reception to Follow Sat. Feb. 11 at Bpm Also supported by: FOR CALL the Senate Cultural Affairs Committee. MORE INFORMATION WLU Office of Development, and 742-2788
• • The Cord Opinion February I, 1995 9 c fill
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stations and the pott th lost its measu
....J MeDon ~ music. t zw I nity." z 0 I3ro ~ staff an w cated t c:t: cycle o !!::~ Th the F "negle nels, broad and is. CK ence. • • • 000 li. unava rating rs supns1ng van Progr "grou or m DAVID POPOVICH attire and goods I've encountered. for you. Ears 2 Hear is the place to used music from the public. So, if which larger mustc stores don't usu streat CORD FEATURES As you wade through the jungle of find some of your favourite CD's, you have any music that you no ally carry. They do stock a fair bit of statio If you have found yourself wander apparel which overflows from tapes and, oh yes, the ever f~tithful longer want (like that tape that mys mainstream music, but when asked every, ing aimlessly through one of those racks, and hangs from the walls and vinyls. teriously appeared in your bag on what they preferred the man behind comt huge department stores staring at ceiling, you discover relics of those With an ever changing stock of the last trip to the cottage) Ears 2 the counter informed me that they M racks of cookie-cutter clothes, or fashion trends gone by. used music (and a dash of new Hear will supply your music a good favour the indies. realized that after spending half the You can find anything from your releases), home. With a selectton that includes day just getting to one of K-W's standard dresses, shitts and jeans to Among all the tunes, the store music ranging from Reggae to easy mega malls that you still need a groovin' vests, blazers and my also provides a selection dedicat listening, the store boasts quite a map to find yourself in the place, personal favourite, smoking· ed to used books, which is collection of tunes. Unlike the larger then might I suggest an altemative? jacket~. The best patt about great for those who music conglomerates, the Monkey Simply travel a short distance it is that no two pieces would like to shop sports an entire section devoted to down King Street Uptown Waterlcx>, of clothing are identi somewhere other local musicians. So, if you caught a and you will find a wide range of cal. In fact a great than the WLU really good local band and you'd independent stores which sell items deal of what they I3ookstore. Titles like to hear more of them you which are unique and comparative stock has been and subjects know the place to go. ly well priced. enhanced with a range widely, As well as the music, this fine If you're in search of some not personal touch. however, if store also offers a selection of flash so-new clothes and you fancy These include you're interested back seventies STAR WARS T-shirt<; something which has that one of a designs, patching in any text~ deal and other cex>l toys. kind look about it, or you're just and individual ing with theology The owner's feel that they aren't looking trying to find a new gift fashion design and religion this really in competition with the larger idea for that special someone, expressions. shop has an exten music chains as much as people check out a nifty little place called Along with this sive section of older might assume. They believe that Eye In The Sky. plethora of material, Christian literature. their stock is diverse enough from A mere glance from King Street Eye in the Sky also Everyone knows HMV or Sam's chart toppers that will give you the impression that offers a variety of unique of the giant music stores they're not really in the same cate someone just robbed your grand items such as old household such as HMV and Sams. gory as the mega stores. With an parent~ kitchen, as everything from appliances, unique trinkets and However, if you're looking for alternate selection and a far from tacky drinking glasses to archaic incense. Among all of the retro music that isn't so mainstream, or corporate attitude the store holds its appliances fill up their front win paraphernalia, the shop also carries the store isn't that easy to find, pay a visit to own in Waterloo. dow. Once you pass through the a wide selection of beads and jew always has something to tempt you. the Orange Monkey across the So, next time you're standing out doorway you'll realize that this is ellery. So, if you're looking for If you're lex>king for that tape or CD street from the Princess Theatre. on King Street waiting for the bus to not your average second hand something different visit one of the that was lost on the last trip to the This store, which opened about a take you to the mall, consider tak store. most unique stores in town. cottage, or you just want to hear year and a half ago, offers a vast ing a short trek into the heart of Credited with being the only If you're in the mood for music, some of that great Eighties music, selection of music which may not Uptown Waterloo. It will definitely vintage retailer in the ,uea, this Uptown Waterloo offers a variety of this is the shop to find it. The store be found down at University Plaza. save you time and money and you shop exhibits one of the most places to browse through in search not only sells used items, they are The two guys that own and run can save that road map for mom astounding displays of antiquated of that perfect sound that's just right also more than happy to purchase the shop focus primarily on imports and dad's station wagon. PI: FA
10 • February I, 1995 • The Cord • Feature Musical mosaic CKWR working hard to fill mainstream's voids
LEE HEWITT reflect views that within society are Cord Features opposed." For instance, the station "You can't please everybody," says airs a Serbian news and music pro Jennifer Brown, shaking her head. gram on Saturdays, while broad- No one can deny that she's trying casting a Croatian program on though. Sundays. As Music Director and interim "We can co-exist peacefully in Program Director at Waterloo's here," Brown said. community radio station, CKWR, Another focus of programming, HENSEL Brown devotes much of her day to said Brown, is the promotion of doing just that...trying to please local and independent musicians. MARION almost every local individual and "CKWR is integral to the local group that wants a voice on the sta- music scene," she added, "and likes Judy Nishlyama and Thomas Glasser, owners of Yukiko's Cafe Patisserie tion's airwaves. to give a hand to local bands." This I PICTURE: Just about the only people she help comes in the form of badly isn't out to please are the conven- needed air play and interview time. tional classic rock and top 40 radio Laurier musician Toby O'Hara, stations of South-Western Ontario of the independent group the and the large record labels that sup- Flaming O'Haras, agrees whole- port them. "[Mainstream] radio has heartedly. "They have great loyalty Euro style cafe lost its touch," said Brown with a to local acts," he said, "they've measure of disgust. "It's like played our album...and been a' McDonald's...they don't play real great help." music that's relevant to the commu- CKWR also maintains close con- nity." tact with the university sub-culture in Waterloo Brown, and the rest of CKWR's in Kitchener-Waterloo. The station staff and volunteer corps, are dedi- works closely with University of cated to breaking this monotonous Waterloo radio station CKMS, and MARION HENSEL of the best cappuccino outside of part owner Judy's middle name, cycle of radio programming. hopes to integrate itself into the Cord Features Italy. As classical music floated in meaning snow in Japanese. As co- The station, located at 98.7 on Laurier community in the near Located on William Street just the background, I guiltily consumed owner Thomas Glasser said, "we the FM dial, offers programming future, Brown said. behind Waterloo Town Square, a sinful piece of chocolate hazelnut didn't want to name it Judy's, or else "neglected" by mainstream chan- The station welcomes volunteer Yukiko's Cafe Patisserie somewhat pie which I couldn't refuse with all it would sound like a truck stop." nels, while keeping a focus on applications from any aspiring radio stands out as the pale orange and my willpower. And Yukiko's is anything but. broadcasting local entertainment personalities in the university com- green former student house. It is Judy Nishiyama had an already A solarium sits out front and and issues. munity. Novice performers are only open until eleven or twelve most well established reputation before plans are already being made for an CKWR has a maximum audi- required to complete an application nights and is an alternative hang-out opening the cafe because she sold outdoor patio next summer. The ence share that is estimated at 20 at the Waterloo offices, located at after the movies instead of heading all of her home-made pastries at the relaxed atmosphere is great for 000 listeners; a precise number is 59 Regina St. N. to the usual bar. farmer's market with incredible suc- going out for coffee with a bunch of unavailable, Brown said, because Although not all applications Although not licensed, the six- cess. friends or sitting all by your lone- ratings services are "too costly." can be accommodated, Brown month old establishment has some The Cafe's name comes from some reading the paper. Programming is geared toward assures that all are considered, "groups that are unclerrepresented regardless of previous experience or misrepresented in the main- in radio. New shows are allotted on stream media." Judging from the the basis of originality and pro- station's broadcasting menu, almost gramming need, she added. every group or preference in the The station stands against the community appears to be covered. censorship of program ideas, Musically, listeners are tuning in Brown said. Some, however, have to a grab-bag of styles that are usu- been pulled from the lineup ally excluded from conventional because they violated CKWR's poli- radio. Bluegrass, jazz, "alternative", cy against "hatred or practicing dis- Celtic, folk and new age music can crimination, trivialization or objecti- all be heard on the weekly slate. fication," as outlined in their mis- The Rolling Stones or the Eagles sion statement. These types of pro- are seldom heard from. grams, Brown assures, are the 'Talk' and 'call in' shows are exception rather than the rule, also integral to the station's pro- however. gramming and are as reflective of The station's "anything goes" diverse community viewpoints as policy has drawn some occasional possible, Brown said. Broadcasting complaints from listeners. Callers in 12 languages, CKWR gives have expressed dissatisfaction with young people, the elderly, gays, the content and language of some lesbians, members of the multicul- programs. To these people, Brown tural community and devout has a simple response. Christians and Muslims equal time "They may need to get their car to express their views on the sta- fixed if the dial is glued to 98.7," tion's aiiwaves. she said. "They can always turn the "We are a microcosm of soci- dial." ety," she said, "and sometimes we
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• • The Cord Feature February I, 1995 11 SPORTS Post season clinched
SCOTT STINSON are the big frontainners. Cord Sports Rookie sniper Amy Turek con- It's their first season, and they're tinues to be the offensive story for playoff bound. the Hawks thus far. She piled up With a 12-4 thumping of the seven points, with three goals and Windsor Lancers on Sunday, the four helpers, against the Lancers on Golden Hawks women's hockey Sunday, adding to her lead in team has secured the first playoff league scoring. berth of their young varsity lives. Other big scorers for Laurier Coming on the heels of a bitter included Wendy Wallace, Stephanie 10-1 loss to Toronto earlier in the Kay, Kim Dejue, and Celeste week, the Hawks roared out of the Burkitt, all of whom had four point gate to score the first five goals of nights. the contest. Head Coach Steve Thomson The Lancers managed to get the highlighted Turek's performance lead down to 7-4 at the 12:50 mark and netminder Missi Tofflemire's of the third before the Hawks fin- strong play as the keys to victory ished just like they started with five for the Hawks. PAGE more unanswered markers. The team will be travelling to The Laurier squad is now solidly York on Febmary 3rd to wrap up iii fourth place in the league, three the regular season before the SHELDON points up on the York Yeowomen. OUAA Playoff tournament in Windsor goalie Tonya Thorton must have felt a little shell-shocked as the They trail third place Queen's while Toronto on the weekend of the Golden Hawks women's hockey team chalked up twelve goals in Sunday's game. powerhouses Toronto and Guelph 18th. X'X-X-X'X-XXX-X-X ■ PICTURE: One up, one down
PETE ROBINSON the Yeomen defencemen's lack of ed with the Hawks' fourth goal near they never gave in to a very deter- John Spoltore goal gave the Hawks Cord Sports mobility. the end of the second. A Way shot mined Yeomen squad . some life, sending the game into The Hockey Hawks were in action This was emphasized by a trickled past Dimaline and came to The key moment in the game overtime, but that was quickly twice over the past week with two Smitly Kulafofski goal at the 12:25 rest right at the post when it came at the 11:18 mark. Crane's dashed when Brock's Darren crucial games against York and mark of the first. Playing shorthand- appeared as though Christian third goal had made the score 5-5, Macoretta scored to give the Brock. The boys came hack with a ed, Kulafofski was able to sneak Goddard gave it the final push past when captain Chris George took a Badgers a 4-3 win. split, Ideating York 9-6 and losing a past the York defence and take the goal line. beautiful setup from John Spoltore Both Western and Waterloo won 4-3 overtime decision to Brock. Mike Balx'ock's pass before beating The third period was highlighted to give the Hawks the lead, this their games last week, so now, The I lawks rode on the perfor- Joe Dimaline to put the Hawks up by Yeomen Jeremy Crane's brilliant time to stay. McConnell's third goal despite holding first place leads of mance of a Don McConnell hat trick 2-0. After Laurier went up 3-0 on performance. The second year iced the game for the Hawks forty up to five points earlier in the sea- to turn in their best performance in McConnell's first goal, York started winger scored three goals in less seconds later. son, third place for the Hawks is a a couple of weeks against York. to cL'fw their way back into it when than 10 minutes. Crane's perfor- John Spoltore, Chris George and distinct possibility. Right now in the The game was quite entertaining as Shawn Castello scored at the 9:14 mance was indicative of how far Mike Dahle added single markers Far West division Waterloo and both teams showed some good mark of the second. Less than two York has come in just over a year. for the Hawks, to round out the Laurier are tied, with Western two offensive firepower, and despite the minutes later the score was 3-2 Despite being down two or more scoring. points up in first. high score, both goalies played when York's Paul Pachis scored. goals on several occasions they Saturday didn't quite bring the The Hawks are in action next well. The difference was probably Shawn Way was wrongly credit- never gave up. To the Hawks' credit same results as Thursday. A late Thursday versus U ofT. Soccer club takes gold
late in the second half to force a Johnston (4). Moreover, LFC would Lander, Hilda Lander, St. Lawrence sudden-death overtime period. like to thank the hospitality of St. College, the players of Queen's However, LFC would prevail and Lawrence's Soccer Coach Jim University SC, and Ethel's Lounge. win 2-1 in the fifth minute of over- time due to a beautiful strike from Oliver Bukvic. Matt McCall, LFC's keeper, was Playoffs in jeopardy awarded the "Outstanding Goalie Award" from the hosting St. LIBBI HOOD The first game was all Brock, as LAUDER Lawrence College. He gave a con- CORD SPORTS the Badgers easily defeated the sistent performance, allowing only 'Hie women's volleyball team lost Hawks, 15-4. Laurier had no cov- 7 goals in five games. In addition, two important matches this past erage in this game, and were MATTHEW the "Ethel's Player of the week, most likely eliminating their burned by several key Badger tips. Tournament" went to Rob O'Brien, bid for a playoff.spot. Game two marked the begin- Ready to receive their gold medals. who scored a total of five goals Laurier dropped three straight ning of a new problem for the PICTURE: to to while maintaining the strength of games the Windsor Lancers last Hawks. The referee seemed
MATTHEW LAUDER tournament champions. the defence; the "Ethel's Top Striker" Wednesday, 15-5, 15-9, and 15 - squash all of burner's momentum CORD SPORTS Although the LFC began the went to Oliver Bukvic with six 9. Coach Ccx)kie Leach was "at a with a series of had calls. Brock This past weekend, the LFC (Laurier tournament with an unsettling 3-3 goals; and the "LFC Game Ball" loss" as to what went wrong. t(x;k advantage of Laurier's misfor- Football Club) travelled to Kingston, tie against Sir Sanlord Fleming, went to Mike Burton, Matt McCall, The Lancers dominated most of tune and won the game 15-7. Ontario, and brought home "the coining back from a one goal deficit Rob O'Brien, and Matthew Lauder, the first game. After they went The Hawks continued to work gold medal" from the St. Lawrence in the last seconds of the game to who scored after only seconds of ahead 5 - 0, Laurier was never real- hard in the third game, keeping College Men's Indoor Invitational prevent the loss, they managed to going on the floor in a one-on-one ly in the game again. The second pace with Brcx'k until a mid-game Tournament, defeating the Vikings regain their composure and win the with the keeper. Other mentions game was much cloiser, though. score of 8 - 7. Unfortunately that 2-1 in a sudden-death overtime vic- remaining games 9-1, 3-1, 7-1 and include the consistent physical and The Hawks took advantage of was the end of the Golden Hawk win tory. The Vikings' Invitational is a 2-1. In a surprising turn of events, skillful play of Mike Johnston, some of Windsor's mistakes to tie points and Brock went on to two-day tournament held on the the favoured Queen's University SC Andrew Warrack, Dave Papa, the score at 9, but couldn't puil 15-7. weekend of January 28-29, involv- lost to the Vikings 5-2 in the second Lawrence Moffat, Trevor Emack, ahead. Overall the Hawks played a tet- ing Queen's University, St. round of the playoffs. This occurred Anthony Giglio, and Bmce Knight. In some ways the Hawks 1 sec- ter match against Brock, but didn't a Lawrence Kingston, Sir Sanlord just prior to LFC's 7-1 second-round The goal scorers of the tourna- ond match of the week, on Friday have enough offense to generate Fleming, RMC, and other college win over RMC, and secured LFC's ments include Rob O'Brien (5), against Brock, was more of the win. teams across Ontario. The LFC, advancement to the final against the Andrew Warrack (3), Lawrence same. They played tetter than they The women's next games are comprised of students from Wilfrid Vikings. In the championship game Moffat (1), Oliver Bukvic (6), Mike had against Windsor, but again this Friday and Saturday, February 3 the Laurier University, went undefeated LFC quickly gained the lead 1-nil in Burton (3), Anthony Giglio (1), seemed overwhelmed by Brock's and 4 in the A.C. against with a record of 4-0-1 to become the first half, but the Vikings tied it Matthew Lauder (1), and Mike much improved team. Lakehead Nttr'Westers. : •.
• • 12 ' February 1, 1995 The Cord Sports Super Blowout XXIX
ANTHONY MINNITI utes of the game, when San sorry for Stan, as receiver after Francisco 49ers. Sure, many will say worthwhile. Finally, I say look at CORD SPORTS Francisco jumped out to a 14 point receiver dropped the ball. He that the reason this team won was the calibre of rookies on that team, Had the Cord been able to publish lead. Steve Young and the Niner played a helluva game. Would the because they bought a team, and to beginning with William "Bar None" my Pre-Super Bowl XXIX predic- offence seemed invincible and one outcome of the game been any dif- you I say BULLSHIT! Every team Floyd, Bryant Young, Lee Woodall, tion, this article would have been could only sit back and feel sorry ferent had Mark Seay or Tony was forced to work under the con- and non-starter Tyrone Drakeford, brief": "I told you so!" Now that the for the San Diego Chargers. Jerry Martin been able to hold on to the straints of the salary cap; only some who all contributed to San Super Blowout is over, us die-hard _Rice demonstrated once again why ball in the end zone? Perhaps they teams did it better. 1 look at the Francisco's successful drive for five fans can begin counting the days he is the greatest WR of all time, would have covered the point 49ers, and say that the only players in '95. until opening clay next year. Sure, making spectacular catches and spread. What I found particularly that were really bought were Gary Being a die-hard football and the Pro Bowl is still to come: a sec- tying a Super Bowl record for 3 amusing was the fact that Natrone Plummer, Ken Norton, and Deion 49ers fan, I'm the first to admit that ond chance for the AFC to "earn touchdowns. He will NOT retire! Means was constantly blasting his Sanders, all Pro Bowlers, but isn't the game was the most boring one I some respect" in yet another season Steve Young took one step closer teammates on the sidelines, and that why free agency exists? What had ever seen. ABC was pathetic.
of NFC dominance. towards the immortal Joe Montana that Ronnie Harmon continued to about Rickey Jackson (who had a Football is life — the rest i.s just Sunday's outcome was by throwing a record 6 touchdown talk trash when the outcome was good year), or Richard Dent, or Tim details! inevitable; the only question which passes and being named MVP. inevitable. Congratulations to Andre Harris, you say, and my response is Editor's Note: The author really remained was whether the 49ers In fairness to San Diego, espe- Coleman for mnning a 98 yard TD. that the 49ers took chances and did pick the Niners in a blowout last could cover the largest spread in cially Stan Humphries, they played The better team and the team they paid off. They proved that week. Really. Very Kreskin-like. Super Bowl history. That was pretty with heart and should hold their that played better won Super Bowl signing veterans that were unwant- There wasn't room for his article. much answered in the first 5 min- heads high. I couldn't help but feel XXIX, and that team was the San ed by their former teams was Shit happens. Big win for The ft)d Laurier It's backlThe Cord Sports NHL Pool has cagers returned. Congrats to the current leader,
RALPH SPOLTORE cIimb...SNAP! What that sound actu- town rivals from Waterloo. This Chuck Fairley. Chuck's team of Sergei CORD SPORTS ally was, was the sound of the game was a highly spirited affair Fedorov,Teemu Selanne,Al Maclnnis, Paul It was a cold winter's evening in the longest losing streak in OUAA West which eventually had the Hawks blue collar city of Windsor, Ontario. Basketball play coming to an abnipt lose by 8 measly points. Roach was Coffey, Pavel Bure,Paul Kariya, Sergei This was to be the day that the end. As Kool and the Gang put it, once again effective at the ofteasive Makarov, Stu Grimson, Dino Ciccarelli, Great Gods of Roundball would "Celebration Time". end of the floor, but showed a great look down from the skies, and bless The Hawks were led at both deal of fatigue on defense. He was Wendel Clark, EsaTikkanen and Chicago's the Wilfrid Lturier University men's ends of the floor by fifth-year co- also somewhat visibly dismayed basketball team with a victory over captain Shawn Roach. Roachy was with a few of his teammates goalies leads the standings with 7 I points. the hometown Windsor Lancers. only seated for one minute through- throughout the game, which defi- It should also be noted that Chuck would It was magical. A sizzling, warm out the entire game, and was the nitely wasn't a positive factor for the feeling was numbing the bodies of team's high point man with 33, and team. He did, however, play all have won outright had the season been 4 coaches, 14 players, 3 trainers, emulated Mr. Windex with 14 glass- forty minutes in the loss which is and 1 reporter who all embraced snatches. I le was invincible. It was quite admirable. They must find cancelled, his tiebreaker answer was that one another at the top of the key. honestly the most dominating dis- someone on that bench who can the Leafs would score zero goals this Utopia, The Garden of Eden, and play of a player being totally step up and give Roach the rests Wonderland all couldn't compare to unstoppable at the offensive end of that he needs throughout a game. year.So close. the place that we were standing the court that I have ever seen in The one Hawk who just gave an This week's Top Ten are: in...Victoryland! my history in the OUAA West. It unbelievable performance on As the clock ticked d0wn...5 sec- was by far Roach's greatest perfor- Saturday afternoon was first-year onds left, leading 85-82, Windsor mance as a Hawk. point guard Tony Weis. He only Entrant Points inbounding the ba11...a great feeling The rest of the guys played very stands five feet and six inches off I .Chuck Fairley 7 I of uncertainty loomed largely over well also, but a special mention the ground but he took it all to the 2.Brad Parkin 70 the a Lancer gymnasium...4,3, jacks must go to veteran forward Danny land of the giants on many occa- 67 up a three point effort...we knew Pace. Leading 53-52 with only 12 sions to score vital points for the 3. Nouman Siddiqui our questions would all soon be seconds left to play, Pace was sent team. Hawk fans have teen waiting 4.ShaunKennedy 65 answered...2,l, shot is missed but to his least favorite spot on the for increased offensive input from s.Trevor Allison 62 the rebound is tipped in by the floor, the free-throw line, for two this guy all year long, and it appears 6. Pieter O'Leary 6 I Lancers, 85-84. shots. Going into these shots Pace that he is now able to give it to Then that last second ticked off was a lowly 2 for 8 from the charity them on a regular basis. Tony 6. Phill Kinzinger 6 I the clock and a mysterious sound stripe. However, Danny stepped to wound up with 28 hard-earned 7.Camille Sarjeant 59 was heard. It wasn't the regular the line as cool as a cucumber and points in the tough loss. B.Tracey Bradley 58 noise that a buzzer would make at proved just how much of a winner The Hawks' next action is up 8. the end of a game, but it was more he is by icing both shots to give north against the Lakehead Dave Miller 58 like the sound of the weak tree Laurier a three point lead. The rest Nor'Westers this weekend. What the branch breaking when the fat kid, is history. hell is a Nor'Wester and why would * Shutouts are now worth 5 points each, to who was carrying too much weight On Saturday, the Hawks any team be named after it?...don't keep their weight fair in the short season for the branch to handle, decided to returned home to play their cross- ask me. g Opening: Feb. 3rd! J Door Prizes Galore, qq including Leafs Tickets! £y New Hours Thursday: 5 pm-2 am (150 Wings!) Friday: 5 pm-2 am (No Cover; j* 28 King St. N., Waterloo 150 Wings'til 10 pm!) 725-5050 Saturday: Dance'til 3 am!!
The Cord • Sports • February 1, 1995 • 13 centre. The re-teaming of Ridley about Tie Domi? He's having his Stephane Richer. The Montreal and Gartner was a brilliant move problems out in Winnipeg and the Canadiens will finish eighth and by Pat. Looks like they're still line- return of Domi could stir up the barely make the playoffs unless they mates in Washington. Terry Yake so division. pick up some offensive forwards. far has been a non-factor. There's Issue 5: Predictions. Brett Hull Question Marks. What were the no way he'll get the same amount and Mike Keenan will have a falling Blues thinking when they designed of ice time as he did last year, so out. Cliff is going to package off a their new uniforms? Who's going to look for his numbers to drop signif- goalie and a few other players for a win the Steve Yzerman sweep- icantly. Garth Butcher's best play of solid defenceman. Ottawa won't stakes? When will Buffalo trade the weekend was elbowing some win a game until March and will Grant Fuhr? When are we going to guy in the face. He looked lost in lose a lot of money this year. Derian see a game with some intensity? Is his first fight and will surely get Hatcher will blossom under the Gretzky washed up? Has Joel Otto beaten up many times this season. guidance of his brother. Randy forgotten how to throw a punch? However, his experience has put Wood will be playing regularly by Pro Tip of the Week: To all you him on the ice with the game on the end of the month. Hextall will young kids out there: use the the line. Dixon Ward is looking to turn out to be the flop of the year. boards, they're a player's best fill in that scrapper role with two Some goon will beat the crap out of friend. fights in two games. If he keeps this up he'll find a starting spot on the fourth line. Issue 3: Surprises. Kenny Jonnson, what are you doing? This Another guy had a pretty rough start, to say the least. Giveaways, missed hits,
falling down — at least he has only- Talk one Leafs way to go: up. Why is Mike Craig on the third line? Get rid of hoop win PICTURE Nikki and stick Craig on the wing FILE with Gilmour and Andreychuk. The SCOTT STINSON McClenaghan was the high scorer defence looks baital. They've lost Cord Sports for the Hawks with 16 points. JASON PAUL AND Bob Probert, beat up and outplayed their toughness and grit and look- They could probably get used to Backing her effort up were twelve ROB MCGOWAN the Leafs. The Hawks lack the talent lost in their own end. Maconn looks this. point efforts from Sarah Collins and CORD SPORTS but showed the Buds up; maybe steady, Ellett's their best, Mironov is Laurier's women's basketball Brenda "Buy A Vowel" Vrkljan. The season is on, the hoys are back, Grapes was .right about the trade. hot and cold, Butcher's a non-factor team broke into the win column for Vrkljan also pulled down 11 boards and everyone is excited. Welcome The Calgary game was a bit better, and Todd "Bobby" Gill has looked the first time this season with a spir- on the afternoon. hack Boh and Harry, hello Coach's with improved defense and more like #4 on occasion and just ited 63-54 victory over the Waterloo Along with McClenaghan, the Corner, nice to hear ya Joe Bowen. toughness, but look for Burnsy to destroyed a bloody Joel Otto. Athenas on Saturday afternoon. Hawks' starters include four first- This year is going to he a beauty. make some changes. Issue 4: Bomber. Gone. What a The young team controlled die year players in Collins, Vrkljan, But to sum up the Leafs so far: slop- Issue 2: The New Pickups. Mats blow. This guy has really come into play from the outset, playing their Amanda McCusker-Peers, and py, dull, and boring. What's wrong Sundin looks like Doug Gilmour out his own over the last two years. His tightest defense of the season and Audrey Kaersmount. with the Leafs? Let's take a look. there, except with a bad helmet. absence has created a huge hole. finishing on their offensive chances, The youth and inexperience of Issue I: Weekend Home,stand. He's showing great bursts of speed, The club already lacked toughness, something they had trouble doing the team has shown at times this Both games were shoddy efforts great hands and toughness in the and now they are really susceptible in some of their previous losses. year, hut they have remained com- and only Felix Potvin came up corners: a Leal star of the '90s. to rough and tumble teams like Head Coach Sue Lindley called petitive all season. This win comes huge, Sundin looked great along Sundin off the wing looks like Big Dallas and Vancouver. Who will fill it a "hard fought victory." She also as a big step for the Hawks, who with the new pickups Randy Wcxxi Frank Mahovolich back in the glory the gap? Dixon Ward has stepped complimented the group on their just need some game experience and Dixon Ward. Hate to say it, but clays. Randy Wood has made a solid up but he is not the permanent team effort, noting how sweet it is before they can turn the corner. where was Dougie out there? No contribution on the third line, mak- answer. Is Cliff shopping? Hello Pat to notch a victory against cross- Next up for the team is gold helmet for him. His play has ing steady plays. Mike Ridley looks Verbeek? The addition of this guy town rival Waterloo. Lakehead on the 3rd in Thunder got lo pick up soon. Chicago, sans like a natural as the second line could put the Leafs on top. How Second year player Kate Bay. Eleven in a raw?
SCOTT CULLEN teams to victory. Neither of them did so by Cord Sports running with finesse. The Redskins also fol- Dear AFC: lowed the "Hogs" on their offensive line to Please accepl my condolences on your Super Bowl victories. The NFC is quite willing eleventh annual Super Bowl defeat. While this to give the ball to a running back and let the one was worse than most and 1 do feel had for offensive line push you five yards down field. you, I thought I might offer some suggestions Hearken back to the days of Miami Dolphin to help you in future Super Bowls. As you may domination. Bob Griese was a good quarter- know, there are only four more to be played back, but when it counted, the Dolphins relied this millennium. 1 iopefully, you can win one of on fullback Larry Csonka to nin over people them. on his way to paydirt. Undoubtedly, the First of all, find some defense. That finesse offense needs a power runner behind a line football is all well and good for the regular sea- that can provide some straight ahead run- son, but when it comes down to a one game, blocking. winner-take-all showdown, power is where it's You should really be concerned about this at. The NFC has thrived on the power game. Super Bowl trend because you draft players The Cowboys, Giants and Redskins play in the from the same NCAA pool of talent. Therefore, notoriously power-football-based NFC East. By the only excuse for the NFC's domination the way, they have won six games on this could be that it has superior scouting, manage- eleven game AFC skid. The 49ers were thought ment, and coaching. For the Niners of as a finesse team because they scored over had three rookie starters this year. So, use the 500 points this season. However, they also draft to pick players that will meet the require- brought an experienced, powerful defense to ments of a Super Bowl champion, and not that 1/2 price pool for all couples the table. You need to return to defenses like of an AFC champion/Super Bowl casualty. the Steel Curtain in Pittsburgh from the 1970'5, You should not be too discouraged, despite ALL DAY Tues. Feb. 14th 1995 or even that of the Raiders in the early eighties, this year's catastrophe. There is hope for the when I lowie Long and Lyle Alzado (his chemi- future. The Pittsburgh Steelers are building a from 10 am to 11 pm cal make-up notwithstanding) terrorized quar- team that plays NFC-style defense and they terbacks and Lester I layes and Michael Haynes have a good running game. All they need now at the 3rd floor of SUB provided tough man-to-man coverage at the is a passing attack that will keep opposing corners. The current Pittsburgh Steelers have a defenses back from the line of scrimmage. defense that would represent you well in the Also, Bill Parcells is constructing an impressive Super Bowl, but they have other problems. young team in New England. They pass the Your next area of concern should be on the ball more than he would like, but he is trying strategy of your offense. While not every team to shape them into a team similar to his Giant can assemble an offensive powerhouse like the Super Bowl teams. '95 Niners, you could rely less on cute passing In closing, please consider your plight. If plays and focus on running the ball down their not for your own success, then at least do it for g] throat, with some passing mixed in to keep those of us who eagerly anticipate the Super them honest. You have seen runners like Bowl and end up being disappointed year after S Hfr Emmitt Smith and Ottis Anderson lead their year.
• • 14 February I, 1995 The Cord Sports ENTERTAINMENT Gyrates Sass Sass Jordan causes orgasmic explosion
ERIC GREEN AND SCOTT MCKAY Cord Entertainment Sass. Sassy. The Sass Master. Sassmeister. Sassatola. The Sasster. Sass Jordan entertained Lulu's Concert Club last Saturday and provided a full house with an excellent show. The raspy-voiced, sultry blonde clad in bone tight black dungarees started the set with two songs from her recent release Rats. The crowd responded with screams of orgasmic intensity. As the show progressed, Sass' gyrations and her hands moving over her body led us to believe that the cotton was going to start flying. However the clothes stayed on as did the quality of entertainment. Most of her songs came off of her two most recent releases. Of her eigh- teen song set, including a three song encore, nine were from "Rats", seven from "Racine" and two from "Tell Somebody". It would have been nice to see some new material but this did not happen. As well, most of the songs performed were presented as if they were straight off the albums. There was little stage enhancement of the songs with respect to musical quality. However, lighting and the presence of Sass enhanced the show visually. The show, which didn't start until eleven fifteen, appeared brief. Fortunately, the opening band, (and no we are not talking about the ele- vator music tacticians house band), Age of Electric held us over with some good power tunes. This dynamic stage band showed some promise and is worth checking out. In summary, our excursion to Lulu's was enjoyed. The beer was not too expensive. The crowd was big but well behaved. Lulu's has come a long way from their beginnings, showing just bands that your par-
- - l- , r :1: . - T-U , ent's parents- might be familiar with. The venue is an excellent place to see a concert, and the benefit is you can enjoy a few cold ones. A good night overall. The last "re-generation" for Theatre Laurier
MELANIE SEAL wife while dealing with the six university their live-in landlord. Each character, Cord Entertainment students that have moved into his home. whether jock, boozer or poor student, Due to budget cuts, Theatre Laurier is There is plenty of opportunity for all these wants to try to understand George McGraff. putting on its last production, The problems, but it makes the play just a A definite negative for this play is the Regeneration of George McGraff smidge depressing. Life doesn't always ticket price. Eight bucks for students and
The play mns Febmary 1 to February 4. suck. Not one character survives the play ten for adults is pretty steep for - let's face
The cuts mean no more big drama for with ease. it, I don't care who's dad is in it - an ama- WLU. The strongest thing about The teur production. For the same price any- Drama? George McGraff is brimming Regeneration of George McGraff is the cast. one can see it done by the pros. The play with drama. Even overflowing with drama. McGraff himself is played by Ted Follows, caters to an older audience, and it is clear More problems are dealt with in two (Meaghan's dad) and there are many other by the price that Theatre Laurier doesn't hours than one can think of. Issues such as adult cast members. care if it's students who go to their last hur- crib death, aging, Ab.heimers, suicide, preg- But it is the younger members of the rah. For half the price, I'd tell you to go see nancy, homophobia, marital fidelity and cast who shine the most. The character of it. At this price, I can only think that it is relationships are things the characters deal "Young Adele" (played by Stacey Schat) is too bad, because the performances put on with. tenific in portraying George's alter ego. by the students were terrific. It's not that these problems aren't realis- Each new resident in George's house is With the price of these tickets, the stu- tic. The play is about elderly George cop- like any stereotypical friend found on cam- dent actors won't get the recognition and ins with the hospitalization of his ailing pus. The students do not react typically to attention they so richly deserve.
I February 112 February 3 • Three Tenors: A Serenade Series • Quiverieg presents the "Lick My • Big Sugar and The Flaming Concert at Centre in the Square Tractor" CD Release Party at O'Hara's are at the Turret • The K-W Chamber Orchestra Phil's • Shadow Puppets are at Wiifs presents Paul Pulford at tire • The Regeneration of George • Uisce Beatha is at the Volcano Maureen Forrester Recital Hal! McGraff opens in the Theatre • Dink is at Lee's Palace February 7 Auditorium February 4 • Pete and Chad are live at the Hang • Talent show at the Turret • Mike Mandel is at Lulu's Crocodile Rock in Zeke's
• • F.A.S.S. Theatre Company pre- Sandy MacDonafd is at Garret's Restaurant Where to sents Village Don of the Dead Village Tavern February 8 through the 4th • Tickets go on sale for Disney's • The UW Drama Department's February 2 Beauty and the Beast at the presentation of Oleanna opens • Pete Couillard is at Will's Princess ofWales Theatre at UWs Hagey 112 fall Studio 180
• • Locating Identity: Patrick February 5 The Little Eagles of Siberia are at Thibert exhibit opens at the K- • The Barra McNeils are at UWs Centre in the Square W Art Gallery Humanities Theatre
The Cord • Entertainment • February 1, 1995 • 15 Waterloo casey's
Come and Join Us at the Friendliest SELENE MACLEOD Sea hit the stage. The now-lubricated audi- They missed their second encore Cord Club in Town with the Best Prize Money Entertainment ence, at least the boldest members, moved because they had to speak with so many The self-described "cheerleaders for beer- forward to jig and toast the boys from people; "People," Hallett commented, "I drinking sessions" Sea Great Big returned Newfoundland. Consisting of Alan Doyle don't remember ever having met in my AFTERNOON JACKPOT last Friday, January 27, to the Turret. The on vocals and guitar; Sean McCann on life." But aside from the negative aspects long-awaited performance was a great big vocals, bodhran, tin whistle, and guitar; of fame, the band is doing well. They 00 success. Darrell Power on vocals and bass; and spent October and November in England, 000 IN 54 #S Matt Osborne opened, turning in a per- Bob Hallett on vocals, fiddle, accordion, Ireland, and Scotland, and are now work- ($5OO CONSOLATION) fonnance typical of him, namely fun and a etc., the band plays a folkie combination ing on a new album, due out, hopefully, strong musical presence. He only played of traditional songs and upbeat originals. in mid-May. It's headed in a less traditional half an hour, combining old music, new They play music of "celebration and direction than their first album, "Great Big EVENING MUSTGO JACKPOT music, and unique covers ("What verse hope", interspersed with "sociables", that Sea". $ did I miss?"). Matt called up a "secret really gets the crowd going. From the For those of you that missed the per- 00 guest", Darryl lYing of Ma's Home Remedy, back, the audience was a sea of dancing formance, the band will be back, bigger
— 1 200 to perform that band's "Billy Bishop" fools, and up front, the beer flowed happi- and better — maybe. "We're from St. mostly, it was yet another plug for ly- John's, which is a long, long way from "Taster". His S 00 hair-shaking finale brought Once I finally found "backstage", I Waterloo. We know we're really lucky to 1 500 ,X much attention, but the crowd was not managed to grab an interview with Bob have gotten this far, but you always have very warmed up yet. Hallett. Success is, it seems, starting to get to shoot for the next ring." LATE NIGHT MUST GO After an interminable pause, Great Big to the band. JACKPOT Dynamic $ 1 ooo 00 Sugar turret Enjoy freshly made snacks, daily specials and our ~ Duo delicious pizza at the "Oasis". Big We have the latest in climate control equipment and a Feb byandVenturaMelanie Seal Tanya large no-smoking area. You too can groove with this3 man! Dear DD, also have the possibility that he tied are down and just For further details call 886-8894 How are things in the advice intimacy could occur. If it looking for a good time. Tell-
L1C.#22059 1 - biz? I read you regularly, and doesn't what the hell, one tale signs ofthe non Theatre XLiSturior Presentci "rKc Ted Follows in mm, 01 *' .. Directed by Janet Ulrigfrt 1% Jrm g ' /*/* MartinTravel r A,j/'\ -I"CvJrEit i&.x± et .-V : by ieslie Q Oe!l UllBreakaway < fLa ;*i m r m • P' & *&••#*.Mtoo»wn4%'.¥#•«:. *E"L \ k } i / J touts / Si ikr ' -w February # 1 -2-3-4 1995 8:00 PM IPW>**»>»•fcg.-., JB l» kIJ: ' Jm V Theatre Auditorium _ ;f W Hoola-Oula Contest Wilfrid Laurier University 52.00 feds §3.00 Non-Feds Fcicratitilall is iwieiißi Merited bn«ir FeieratiaiafStiieits MspS7 • PEN WEBINESIAYTIRUSATURBAYII:3IAM -1:01AM V • • 16 February I, 1995 The Cord Entertainment Dummies Spotted in Kitchener Brad Roberts and co. pass the test at Lulus SCOTT ION LAIRD CORD ENTERTAINMENT JIM The evening started out well, with a free ride to the show (thanks Deb & friends), and easy entrance to Lulu's, thanks to the help of some of the largest bouncers I have ever seen. Once settled comfort- PICTURE: ably behind the sound board, we proceeded to investigate the possi- bilities of obtaining some beverages just to, you know, pass the time. 2. Big Sugar at the Turret on Feb. 3. At this point, the first of two shocking events that were to transpire First you get the Sugar', then you get the power. over the course of the night happened. We discovered that a pitcher 3. Sheik 'domes. of beer cost not $10, not $12, but $16!!! The first thought that ran HARD Get some what? through my mind was that I should've gone to the Taster CD relea.se 4. Wink. thingy at the Turret (where a much, MUCH more reasonable pitcher CORD Most underused soft drink of the decade. price was in effect). Suffice it to say that it was a pretty dry evening... 5. D Generation. about as dry as the Gobi Desert. New York Glam Is Back. On to the music. The opening acts of Why the Sky and Base is SHAWN 6. R.E.M. tickets $50? Base were generally neglected by the much-older-than-I'm-used-to CALLAN Life lesson #3 - Learn supply and demand crowd. Mom always said that if you can't say anything nice about 7. Throwing Muses new single - Bright Yellow Gun opening acts...so on to the Crash Test Dummies. Opening the show Off the 'University' LP. with the title track of their most recent album, the Dummies 8. De-Construction on the student union building. launched into a comprehensive set that included selections from First mice, then the gremlins, now THIS. both of their albums. The vocal hannonization of Brad Roberts and 9. Frank Magazine. Ellen Reid was excellent, as was the instrumental wizardry of Mike Duffy @165 H>s. is a must see. Benjamin Darvill on mandolin and hannonicas, and Dan Roberts on 10.Superbore. bass. The Dummies covered a wide range of their popular songs, I. Half Price sale at the bookstore. But what about that electric half-time show? including "Superman Song", "Androgynous", "Swimming in Your Good excuse to say hello to attractive book store Ocean", and "MMM MMM MMM MMM". Lead Dummy Brad Roberts workers. carried the show with his uniquely low voice and outstanding acoustical guitar talents. However, a special mention should be given to their new keyboardist, as her Mongolian Throat Singing display Truly trivial pursuits impressed even Jim, our regional Mongolian Throat Singing special- ist. Overall, a very impressive Dummies show, with a fantastic light "Hey IRemember thatShow" show and excellent musical precision, despite a few early sound problems. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night sober (I still BRAD ROSS pick up Celeste on Beverly Hills 90210? can't believe it...516!) with two thousand of your closest friends. Cord Entertainment I. Pouch, John, (hrtssmtm 2. Skippy Handle/nan 3 General Uv 3b. tlncle 1. Name 3 stars on CHiPs. /esse 4. Kansas City 1 Royals 5. Tortellis and Frasier 6. Jurassic Park 7. E.T. 8. 2. Who was the neighbour on Family Ties who had the "Hon Soon is Note?" (The Smiths) 9 Licensed to III" (Beastie Boys) 10. 1980 hots for Ma I lory? 11. Italian Stallion (a pomo) 12. JJ. Bullock IJ. Ihe 1983 LA Raiders 14. 3a. What is the name of the car on the Dukes of Hazard? Different Stokes and The Facts of Life 15 Boner (Sylvester Stibone) 16.John 31"). Who was Daisy Duke's clad who took care of Bo and Bynerb The Super Dave Osbourne Show / 7. The Tracy Ullman Show 18 The */n Waterloo there are only two ways to have fun after the lights go out" Luke? X-Files 19. Allison (oil a mountain top Ist season), Jo, Amanda, Sydney 20. | 4. Who did the Blue Jays lose to in their first playoff "Ixh e Me. Lot vMe Not" PUYINGTHIS COMING WEEK... series? EuISSSjIjDHHB fannyardant 5. Name the 2 Cheers spin-offs. J 7:oopm *PG* CAMILLA i|HH|| TJ—j 7 6. What is the number one box-office movie of all reappeotSh time? m mSB® 7. What movie introduced Drew Barrymore? iyiL l ""^^™ 8. According to CFNY, what is the number 1 song 9:oopm «<« PULP FICTION 1 of all time? 9. What was the top selling rap album before "Please I lammer Don't I lurt 'Em"? 9:2opm Hi« PULP FICTION CH ABERT 10. When was the last time Arnold won the Mr. fr°m the novel by Honore de Balzac Olympia title? 7:oopm fO COLONEL CHABERT Frtay F«4 3 -Taaday F«b 7. PG 11. What was Sly Stallone's debut starring role? 9:2opm »R»HTPyiW WITH THE VHMPftt 12. Name the last AFC team to win the Super Bowl. I! „ Tom Cruise 13-Who starred in 2 Close for Comfort and then 7:4opm •«> COLONEL CHABERT moved to Hollywood Squares? 9:2opm *K* HTIRVIW WITH THE \fIUAPR£ ■Mk' 14. In what two shows did "Mrs. Garret" appear? Fairview Christian Slater 15. What is Mike Seaver's test friend's nickname on 7:oopm •PG* COLONEL CHABERT HL «,j^H Pains? n Growing iSS® AOJRA if /A\ 9:2opm •*• POUNSIQ'S MACBETH Ann"?Rid 16a. Who starred on the comedy Bizarre? Precision Crafted Automotives Directed by 16b. was Neil Jordan What the popular spin-off? 7:oopmfo COLONEL CHABERT HBBiiiH INVESTMENT 17. On what show did the Simpsons first make a PROTECT YOUR 9:oopm «PO FORREST GUMP INTERVIEW cameo appearance? Preferred SERVICE FOR ALL ACURA AUTOMOBILES WITH THE 18. According to Entertainment Weekly what was Vampire "Your car's home away from home" the top show of 1994? Friday Jaa 27 •Tlwrsday Fak 2. PG Melrose Place 2685Kingsway Drive 19. Who currently starring on has »;3-;UUOo 2 nA A A made out with KITCHENER, Ont. Jake? Film Guidesavailable at 6 Princess St. W 20. For the to die hard fans, what was the name of Located behind Faiiview Mall. Ride Laurier available. Wiff's & The Centre Spot UUIMMMBSHaiiU*II Waterloo 885-2950 game show where Steve and Brandon tried to The Cord • Entertainment • February I, 1995 17 NEU STUDENTEN KUNST A Young Man Plucking Rose Petals How can I love another, When I am trouble by the absolute? INTUERI I know now I will never completely know who I am; So, I accept this fact and only search for a small piece of me each day. I understand that we are mortal A blanket of snow f| Visual:KenHicknell And like this rose Covered her shouldersll Grow As she lay, amm'xfrina i«B Flourish upon the ground, Jji Multiply £he birds still sang* jpfl by, Then die. A cat stole Intent' upon its prey. . Lovers passed and the scene, Though, I can not become immortal left ' (Nor would I choose to be) Never to return. . \ She lay alone and watched it Through my work and teaching of my successors gives me everlasting life. all. From above, she watched it all. have grasped the notion that my life continues I long after I leave this body. And suddenly, it all made sense, Therefore, hold no regrets about things that may have been undone, ' I left As she 3 ° W since I will have another chance to fulfil them. With all these speculations now behind me, Pushing me forward to women along the way. Why is it that I cannot love any of them? So, my thoughts still plague me to reminisce now and then of Ifs and Could Have Beens. My emotions open wounds once forgotten, from my previous campaigns. Yet both Thought and Feeling urge me on my journey Feeding me manna and wine. In this self-consuming stupor, I am unable to say with veracity the simple words that I should say But haven't. Is it me who is failing in his search for simple love? I ask you, my stack of rose petals, as my witness INSK SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT I For it is late and she never is not here. by John Huculiak Due to whimsical fancy, the deadline for the NSK Valentine Contest has been extended from Friday, February {Poetry Sweatshop Honourable Mention} February 2nd to 3 at 12:00noon. Win a ioey Lawrence CD and It was a terribie, horrible no good day My makeup was a mess, I looked like Tammy Fayei read your lovey-dovey, sappy-happy, cutesy-wootsey I had to go to school, but that just wasn't all. I just got on the bus and nature gave its call Valentine poem, cartoon, short short story or What else could I do, I sat there (ike a child whatever turns you on, in the pages of My legs before me crossed, my odour far from mild! So when my tour was finished NSK. I grabbed my books and ran I was on a mission-l had to find a can. JoeyJoeyJoeyloeyJoeyJoeyJoeyjoeyJoey Ist floor, second floor, third floor, none! Not one single washroom, this wasn't any fun. I sauntered towards the concourse {Poetry Sweatshop Grand Winner} My hope was almost gone But then I found salvation, before me was a Jon! I walked as lonely as a cloud, There was only one stall left, the one for disabilities On ttie soft layer of leaves beneath me. If only this small school I gazed into the endless depths of the deep blue sky. ships Had a few more facilities. Clouds passed me by like on the sea. by Matthew Peters I love to watch the days trod on, While I stand here oblivious to the world around. Not knowing, not caring what will happen next. /-r W5 As I walk along omitting every unpleasant sound. TgTIirfBRBITT^ 112 I gazed into the horizon and saw A beautiful image transcending upon me It was like nothing I had seen before, £§ Helping YouPut Your /Sk ff Her sweater! it was 100% acrylic! BestFate Forward Vm If by Lyall Winger tt — -%# || Bene ° lUart Specialists || _*SELL Glycolic flcid Peels YOUR SOUL! The Book of Orgasms +* o ** fecials Esthetics STUDENT ENTREPRENEURS: Taught me many things Electrolysis ° Waxing But it did not teach me H To Climax in the presence iry/HH services at the ONLY on-campus trade fair. « Of Priests. I? caiiMcne by Izabel Waite CALL Karsten @ 725-4567 ti Univ. Illeber medical Center & %4~ <%># ■%># W 18 February 1, 1995 • The Cord • NSK HELP Sublet Wanted!! Bachelor or 1 bedroom apart- Looking for a ride to Tragically Hip in WANTED ment, utilities included for May-August. Hamilton.-' PERSONALS SUMMER JOBS Please call Sheldon @ 883-9595 if you can Bus headed to concert, must have your own K.K. WILL YOU MARRY ME? Applications are now being accepted for help me out. ticket. $10 BYOB on Bus. Contact Brian @ Daisy, Will you help me do my homework summer jobs on cruiseships, airlines and 884-3523 this week? I have an assignment that only resorts. No experience necessary. For more 2 Roomates Wanted. Big House (5 rooms) you can help me with. Please, please. I'll treat information send $2 and a self-addressed May-may lease, close to WLU, $275+/month Casino Night!!! Mon. Feb 6th, 8-1 at the Turret! you to dinner at the Bismarck Pub first. By stamped envelope to: Phil @ 885-2613 now you know where it is don't you? Daisy, World-Wide Travel Club ADVANTAGE CAREER PATH RESUMES this is the beginning of a bewaqutiful rela- -5334 Yonge Street Summer Sublet. 5 Room House, 3 wash- AND WORD PROCESSING SERVICES, tionship. See you Wednesday night? Suite 1407 rooms, laundry, parking, close to WLU (314 Resumes, Cover letters, Mail-outs prepared by Ontario $150/ an experience Human Resources Consultant. Toronto, Spruce), month ___ M2N 6M2 Trevor A. 725-7591. Letter and typing service available. All work picked up and delivered within 24 hours 745- O, Marcia, little social butterfly. w-y-v -j-% C A T \r + liP. LOOKING FOR A WARM 80DY...t0 fill the 6437. Please don'tkill me - you just look so Bth bedroom in a great house. 5 minutes adorable! NCR 1200 BAUD MODEM from campus, $275/month, female preferred. GRAD FUNDRAISING COMMITTEE MEET- Happy 21st Birthday! $20 CALL 886-2327! 746-8036. ING. Thurs. Feb. 2, 2:30 room 3-201. Love, the boy in the dog house! COMPUTER FOR SALE rPTIT Grad Class '95 - Reality Bites. - 386SX/25, 2MB, RAM, 40 MB H.D.D., . iflfl yf I ill Chip Casino Monday Febniary 6th-Bpm at *Kg 3.5V5.25" I I D. Drives, VGA, Adlib, printer, the Turret! mouse, Windows, Word, Dos., $600. Call MY TYPIST! We do your typing right! Essays! $5 -In the door and 20 chips. Printing! Free' Spell Checking! More! Call 579- ATTENTION '95 GRADS! » 2219! Keystone wants the I < T% T A /ipri nriiTT your candid photos for Wt I.(/ JxtliyiJL Grad section. You will get them back in April. |: .§jg a it note RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS. GAIN VALU- To submit photos attach post with I \ HOUSE FOR RENT - 5 large bedrooms, liilly ABLE BUSINESS EXPERIENCE WHILE your name and phone number to the photo - equipped Kitchen & Laundiy, Extra laige liv- BUILDING YOUR RESUME. EARN UP TO and drop it off in the Keystone Box at t -g? j ingroom. Parking for 5 cars, close to WLU $10, 000 (25 JOBS). HIGH DEMAND PROD- Student Publications, 3rd floor SUB. Available Sept. 1/95. Call 416-491-1370. TION. THE IDEAL OPPORTUNITY: VEHICLE ÜBG Raffle Winners | APARTMENT FOR - CALL STUDENT SPRINKLERS AT 1-800-265- 2nd prize - Dale Wells | RENT 3 bedrooms' fßi ties. Available May 1/95. LSAT-GMAT-GRE Training Programs - Since Call 416-491-1370. 1979 we have successfully prepared thou- sands of students for these tests. Start January <3 , DON'T FORGET YOUR SWEETIE ON VALENTINE'S DAY Five tedroom house for rent 21, 28, or Feb. 4 for the Feb. LSAT! / ...IF YOl|'P 5 Bedrooms, clean, close to WLU, tennis Satisfaction wants to send you on your first court, A/C, laundiy facilities. unforgettable trip of '95. Call Lucie at 1 800- Call Sue @ 885-5509 3&4&5 & 6 & 7 bedroom houses for rent WOULD YOU LIKE A PENPAL PROM reasonable rates. All laundry and ABROAD? details and form, send name ...... j 13 parking, year walking to and address to: Universities, Contact James at 747-0683 or at GLOBAL PENFRIENDS work 884-9000 P.B. 14 Hovseter 0705 Oslo FURNISHED HOUSE FOR RENT Norway Six lxxlrooms, 2 kitchens, 2 bathrooms, living jl||| j 11 ifllgj J and laundiy rooms, extra. Theatre Laurier Presents Ted Follows in "The Excellent conditions. 10 min. walk for Wl.l'. Regeneration of George McGraff." Modern Avaiable May in one year. $1500 per month Comedy, Feb. 1-4, Bpm. 'Ilieatre Auditorium, plus utilities. Call 746-7928 after 6pm. WLU. Tickets $10/$B. Call 884-0710 ext. 2882 "fc'i ' PUNISHED HOUSE FOR RENT NUMUS Concerts presents "This that is beau- Accommodation for five. Two bathrooms, tiful..." Contemporary (weird) classical music. Living , rec., and laundiy rooms. Fri. Feb. 10, 8 pm The Seagram Museum. Call Jj Excellent conditions 10 min walk from WLU. 576-6211. JgM Available Septemlx.*r for one year. $1400 per month plus utilities. Call 746-7928 after 6pm. DAYTONA BEACH SPRING BREAK!! 4Ja ENERGY 108 & HOT 103.5 WILL BE LEAD- liffl HOUSE FOR RENT-5 bedroom, 2 fully ING THE PARTY IN DAYTONA this year! TVvr flirtVlpr Tvlsl YJlfir*M• equipped kitchens, laundry facilities, Parking ROOM ONLY $139 or BUS AND HOTEL $299 rUI IUL IIICI 1 Cld-Ad-IIUIL. for 4, living rooms (up & downstairs) FOR THE WEEK, CANADIANS $$!! Call Dpip lllllcll111151fHCI T-pV) L,? Very clean, close to WLU 8c UW. Breakway Tours at 725-9789. ALMOST SOLD 11111X0. fCD. $1400/mon,h. Call Shawn @ 886-1227 OUT! |Myth Of InnOCCnCC Fit Feb. 3 The Cord • Classifieds • February 1, 1995 1 19 v •■ >% ' :: \;' 1 , ■;; , ;. . NO SHOES NO SERVICE MONDAY-LIVE JAZZ TUESDAY-JAM NIGHT/OPEN STAGE WEDNESDAY-THE BEST OF LIVE ALTERNATIVE MUSIC THURSDAY TO SATURDAY-ALTERNATIVE DANCE SUNDAY-80'S NIGHT PHIL'S GRANDSON'S PLACE 220 KING ST N WATERLOO 888-7663l L LVJ condition looking for five women. Two TRIPS. Call 1-800-337-1324 for more info. 112 i T< t A kitchens, two bathrooms, 5 bedrooms, com- rPH A mon room, veranda, back porch and more!!! Word Processing Service. Reports, resumes, UTILITIES INCLUDED, May to April lease, letters, mailing lists, fonn letters, etc., on recy- May to August $265/$285 per month, cled paper. Laser printing, dictaphone, equa- H September to April $305/$325 per month, tion editing, optical scanning available. Check out this deal! 5 minutes from WLU!! Audrey 884-7123 Call Sonia at 888-0279 Daytona Beach is the place to be this Spring VILLAGE ON Mil' GREEN TOWNHOUSE Break. Make it happen for only $279. GOL- W