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9-30-2019

The BG News September 30, 2019

Bowling Green State University

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How to date on a college budget | Page 3

Tips on how to be a good kisser | Page 4

College-aged people don’t use condoms | Page 12 A COLLEGE STUDENT’S GUIDE TO LOVE BG NEWS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 2 How to end a relationship respectfully

AnnaLynn Smith as difficult of a process. If one or both partners When one person decides they no longer blame or trying to soften a blow; just be Reporter are unhappy, however, the end is inevitable; want the relationship to continue, there honest,” Reed said. Juggling college coursework alongside a it is necessary to be upfront with the other is no benefit to waiting. The longer it has Overall, the key to a healthy breakup is open relationship can be difficult, especially when person if you want the intentions to be clear. only one-sided affection, the longer restless communication and honesty, and putting off romantic emotions start to fade. Breaking The more the reasons are sugar coated or the or frustrated emotions could fester. While the breakup can cause emotional harm to up with somebody is never an easy feat. Not conversation is put off, the more likely that the there is not a definitive moment to leave, the yourself and your partner. If you no longer get everyone knows how to do so with complete wrong signals will be sent. sooner it is, the healthier it will be for both a sense of fulfillment from your relationship, it respect of the other person while still staying “I would put it off because they were having parties involved. might be time to have the conversation. true to their own feelings. a good day and I didn’t want to ruin it, or I “I believe sitting down and talking it “The hardest part is feeling as if time would put it off because they were having a bad through calmly and in-person works best. is wasted, like you’re just somewhere you day and I didn’t want to make it worse. It never Be 100% honest and respectful about their shouldn’t be anymore. It’s time to end it when really felt like a good time,” Kiarra Reynolds, a feelings,” Reynolds said. you no longer enjoy the company of the other sophomore digital arts major, said. Reed agreed that honesty is important when person,” Ethan Reed, a junior physics When it comes to finding a way to approach keeping the breakup respectful. major, said. the other person, how do you decide when the “You end a relationship respectfully by Giving or receiving bad news can be equally “right time” really is? just explaining how you feel, without placing Relationship via smartphone Good ways to make long love distance work using technology according to experts, students “It was different seeing each other on a up, be willing to do fun things every now and with or what they’re doing — if they’re usually Marianne Vanderbeke more regular basis all the time, but in a good again so you’re not just being stagnant,” she very detailed in what they report they’re Reporter way. Seeing each other every day we don’t advises to those looking to make the switch. doing, you begin to question it. You begin to value the time as much as we did before, when Coger feels trust can be one of the biggest get these questions; the questions fester and “I exist in two places, here and where we first started dating, but it’s still good to be challenges couples face when they are apart. that doesn’t help the relationship. Ambiguity you are.” – Margaret Atwood together,” Thompson said. “There are communication techniques in communication is a no-no,” he added. College students are not strangers to long Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist who that help and/or hurt. Any time a person is Thompson also feels communication is key. distance relationships. The rise of two-income specializes in relationships, explained the ambiguous about who they’re hanging out “I felt like communication was different long families and global business practices have led distance could be a good thing in an article for distance. When you get to see each other, you to increasing numbers of relationships being Time Magazine. get to talk about the big things instead of just conducted from a distance, but for college “One of the greatest benefits is that you do moving through your day. Communication is students, they have been a common feature of a lot more talking and learning about each more meaningful. When you’re long-distance, the relationship landscape for many years. other, since you spend more time having you’re more excited to see the person,” she said. Laura Stafford, director for the School of conversations than you might if you were Coger also believes being in a LDR at some Media and Communication, has studied LDR sitting side-by-side watching Netflix, or out point during the relationship can actually be challenges throughout her career. She defines running errands or doing activities together,” better for a couple. the concepts and offers working solutions in she said. “(Success) depends on the maturity of each her writing. Adam Coger, a senior data science major, participant. When you have immature, young “(Couples are in an LDR) based on feels the same way. He is currently in an LDR, lovers they kind of form into one being early relational participants’ reports of the miles but has had others. into the relationship. That can make or break between them, of their residence in different “It was successful that we both knew it was a relationship. If you’re in a long-distance cities, of the number of nights a week they going to be a portion of our lives — where we relationship, things are thought out, things are spend apart, their inability to see each other were attending far away colleges. I feel like a planned out. It’s almost a safety net to prevent every day if they so desire, or simply if they lot of phone calls and video chatting made it a relationship from burning too hot, too fast consider themselves to be in an LDR,” she work,” he said. and burning out,” he said. explains in her book, “Maintaining Long- Both Coger and Nelson offered tips for The likelihood of having an LDR is growing. Distance and Cross-Residential Relationships.” making an LDR successful. They felt making Statistics show that nearly 75% of college Mickayla Thompson, senior human time to be together is important whenever students have already been in one — and development and family studies major, has possible. Nelson, however, was more focused many are open to the idea. Learning skills been in a LDR with her boyfriend for five on the struggles after the relationship to survive the challenges could be key to a years. She said making the change to college becomes more proximal. version of “happily ever after” including a life from high school helped their relationship “I feel like you have to not get stuck in a smartphone as a partner in the relationship. by bringing them closer together. routine. You have to be willing to switch stuff FORUM September 30, 2019 | PAGE 3 PEOPLEON Best cheap date ideas for BGSU students THESTREET Mary Ross Forum Editor 5. Build a fort and have a movie night lots of different fun things to do on your What would your response Hear me out: forts are extremely fun. What Friday nights. Coming up with date ideas that don’t cost be if a guy said he didn’t have could be more fun than building a sheet Price: Free. a ton of money can be difficult for college a condom? fort with your significant other or date with students. Below are a few cheap date ideas passwords required to get in and lots of food 9. Karaoke night you and your partner can look into in order to “Well no sex for and pillows? Plus, hanging out inside the fort Grumpy Dave’s in downtown Bowling Green date while on a college student budget. you. I don’t want after building it to watch movies or hang out hosts karaoke nights on Friday and Saturday anything you almost guarantees some cuddles. nights from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. If you and your got going on 1. Dining hall dates Price: Can be free, but there could extra partner enjoy singing or possibly making fools If one of you has a meal plan on campus, down there.” expenses such as food and movie. of yourselves, karaoke at Grumpy Dave’s could treating the other to a good ol’ dining hall be the place for you. meal to fill up and enjoy each other’s company 6. Hiking Price: Free (if you are of-age, drinks can is not a bad way to go. If you and your partner are outdoorsy people, be expensive) SUZANNE BUTTON Price: Free with a meal plan. there are several nature reserves nearby that Junior | Technical Theatre are home to some hiking trails. Exercising while 10. Grounds for 2. Stargazing on hill behind being immersed in nature is a great bonding Thought performances Wolfe Center experience and can also be quite relaxing. One of Bowling Green’s very own coffee shops, “Then we can’t Though it is popular for sledding down in Price: Free (possible cost to enter trails at Grounds for Thought, hosts events such as have sex.” the winter, the hill behind the Wolfe Center some parks). open mics and poetry readings. All events is a prime spot for seeing the stars. Plus, it’s are posted on the events board right inside a pretty quiet and secluded place to give you 7. Volunteer the door. Check out the different events and and your partner some privacy while admiring If you and your partner are the kind of people determine which ones would be enjoyable for the night sky. that enjoy helping others, why not volunteer you and your partner. Price: Free. together? There are many organizations Price: Free (food and drinks cost money if you GRETCHEN THOMAS around Bowling Green that are always looking want them). Sophomore | Psychology 3. BGSU sporting events for volunteers. Sign you and your partner up BGSU offers free admission to all students to to have an enjoyable and fulfilling experience 11. Improv comedy groups­ sporting events, so if you and your partner with one of your favorite people. BGSU is home to several improv comedy are into sports, screaming and participating “How I would Price: Free. groups that hold free performances a couple in high energy events, this could be a solid times a semester at on campus locations. If respond option for you. 8. Falcons After Dark you and your partner like to laugh and enjoy depends on how Price: Free for students (unless you want food close I am to the Falcons After Dark are free events open watching other people perform, this could be or souvenirs). guy and if he’s to all BGSU students. The events change the date for you. been tested.” every week, giving you and your partner Price: Free. 4. Picnic It is quite romantic for a meal to be prepped HANNAH HAWK for one’s partner, but even more so when the Senior | Multiplatform Journalism pair has the opportunity to be surrounded by nature or other quaint environments. Whether the picnic takes place somewhere “I’m not going outside on campus, off campus at a nearby to have sex park or in the middle of nowhere, it can be a with you.” good time for couples. Price: Cost of food.

COURTNEY FOERG PHOTO BY IAN CAMPBELL Bowling Green’s Grounds for Thought host many date-worthy events. Sophomore | Social Work

101 Kuhlin Center BRIONNA SCEBBI, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Bowling Green State University XXXXXXX XXXXXX XXBowling XXXX Green, XXXXX Ohio 43403 ABBY SHIFLEY, MANAGING EDITOR ANDREW BAILEY, PULSE EDITOR Email: [email protected] ROSILAND FLETCHER, COPY CHIEF MARY ROSS, FORUM EDITOR XXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXWebsite: XXX bgfalconmedia.com XXXX XX HUNTER HUFFMAN, CAMPUS EDITOR REGHAN WINKLER, PHOTO EDITOR Advertising: 101 Kuhlin Center XXXXX XXX XXXXXXXPhone: XXX (419) 372-2606PAGE XX SHAELEE HAAF, CITY EDITOR VAUGHN COCKAYNE, WEB EDITOR bgnews MAX MARKO, FALCON MEDIA SPORTS DIRECTOR BRIAN GEYER, SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR FORUM September 30, 2019 | PAGE 4 SUBMIT TO The dos and don’ts of kissing FORUM LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Shaelee Haaf of unhinging your jaw. A little bit of tongue “If you’re convinced the Letters should be fewer than 300 words City Editor goes a long way, so again, take it easy; slow and steady wins the race. and can be in response to current issues “Could we kiss the next time we see each other person likes you other?” on campus or in the Bowling Green area. enough to lock lips, be DO: Use those hands. There are plenty of places to rest your hands I was ecstatic when I read this text my the first one to go for it!” besides letting them hang awkwardly at your COMICS: seventh grade crush sent me but quickly side. Try the hips, waist, shoulders, chest or Comics can be three to six panels, and became nervous when I realized, I had — Shaelee Haaf— neck. Without getting too personal — unless never kissed anyone before. So I flipped the artist has creative freedom on what City Editor you and your partner have communicated through all of my Seventeen Magazine issues the comic is about. otherwise — allow your hands to wander a and watched a few instructional videos on bit. Many people enjoy light, gentle scratches YouTube to attempt to become the world’s up and down their back or having the back of best kisser overnight. Even with all of the DON’T: Get caught with GUEST COLUMNS: their head massaged. training and preparation I had put myself bad hygiene. Guest columns are generally between This is the best way to ensure you don’t get through, it was still quite the awkward 400-600 words and can be submitted moment, as most first kisses often are. to kiss that special someone. There’s nothing DON’T: Stay in one position for by Tuesday before 5 p.m. They can be Even for adults, kissing can be nerve worse than getting into the moment then too long. As exciting kissing can get, it can become wracking at times regardless of how much to have your partner suddenly avoid every advice, listicles, or editorials. Sources are boring or tedious if you play the same routine experience we might have. Below are some advance you make because of bad breath. If not needed, but any ourside information you smoke cigarettes, marijuana or vape, ask over and over again. tips on how to be a better kisser for rookies used in the article needs to be cited. and veterans alike. your partner as a courtesy if they’re OK with the smells and tastes of those substances and DO: Switch it up. DON’T: Kiss anybody you don’t if not, ask them what they would prefer. It’ll There are so many types of kisses and ways POLICIES: show you value their decisions. to sweeten it up. Remember that kissing isn’t want to. Letters, columns, and comics are printed limited to just the lips. Make a trail of kisses One of the most important things about along their jawline or cheek, nibble at their as space permits and all other sub- kissing someone is that they have to be a DO: Freshen up. earlobe (but don’t bite hard), kiss along their person you actually want to kiss. If you’re only Take care of your teeth, chew some gum or missions can be published online at collarbones to their shoulders and if you doing it because you feel pressured or you feel eat a mint and use chapstick to prevent your bgfalconmedia.com. Name, year and decide to kiss their neck, do not suck on it like you should, it’s not going to be enjoyable lips from getting too dry. Kissing will be much like a fish. phone number should be included for for either party. Remember that you don’t owe more pleasant if you do, simple as that. verification purposes. Personal attacks, anybody any sort of affection. DON’T: Use too much tongue. It’s completely normal and OK to be nervous unverified information, anonymous and your partner may be feeling the same DO: Have confidence. Slobbery and wide-open-mouth kisses are not submissions and hate speech will not be way, so don’t be afraid to tell one another the Having confidence in what you do can be one particularly popular when your partner has to things you enjoy and the things you don’t. published. of the sexiest things in the world. If you’re stop every few minutes to wipe their mouth Communication is key to having a good time! convinced the other person likes you enough dry. Part your lips slightly or not at all instead to lock lips, be the first one to go for it! Make E-MAIL SUBMISSIONS: eye contact for a couple seconds, flash a quick Submissions can be sent as an attach- smile and slowly lean in, but don’t forget to ment to [email protected] with the sub- close your eyes! ject line marked “Letter to the Editor”, DON’T: Be too aggressive. “Comic” or “Guest Column”. All submis- Using too much force might be a major turn sions are subject to review and editing off for your partner, especially if that’s not for length and clarity before printing, something they’re into (and if it is, all the more power to you), so until you know their and the BG News reserves the right not preferences, keep it on the down-low. to publish any submission. DO: Take it easy. It never hurts to start out slow and gentle. Taking your time with a kiss can actually help stimulate the one million nerve endings in the lips, which in turn releases more of that feel-good chemical in you and your partner’s brain. BG NEWS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 5 Pop culture library has romance fiction covered

on-file in the library’s collection. Ammidown around for a longer time, so that when “A lot of authors … come in waves — where Abby Shifley said there aren’t many collections containing someone wants to study 1980s romance certain authors pop up all the time, and then Managing Editor resources that detail a writer’s whole process. fiction 50 years from now, we want them to other ones, they do one thing really well The BGSU Brown Popular Culture Library’s The vastness of the collection is possible be able to come back here.” like ‘Wyoming Cowboys,’” Ammidown said. romance fiction collection is the largest of its due to a 25-year-long partnership between the Ammidown said the benefit of having such kind in an academic library. Nearly four rows library and the Romance Writers of America, a large, permanent collection is it allows one Read the rest at Ammidown said. He won an award from the of bookshelves in the library’s archives host to see the patterns and trends throughout bgfalconmedia.com. the 16,000 small novels from the early ‘70s to organization last summer called the RWA multiple decades. mid-2000s, Steve Ammidown, manuscripts & Cathie Linz Librarian of the Year. outreach archivist for the library, said. Linz was the one who reached out to the “We’ve become the center of the history of library in 1995 about keeping a romance the genre,” Ammidown said. fiction archive, and Ammidown said, “To have The collection contains romance novels her name on the award, to win it, it was just a of nearly every genre and from nearly every fantastic, overwhelming trip to New York City.” publisher, but also has a more unique aspect. Today, 24 years after the start of the “It’s the soup and nuts,” Ammidown said. collection, it is harder to collect newer author’s “What I like to call process, product and work because most of their work is digital. The response.” library doesn’t have the electronic capacity to The collection has a variety of writers’ accommodate these digital manuscripts. original manuscripts, their handwritten notes, Additionally, newer authors tend to want to reviews and fan reactions. Researchers can rent out their books rather than sell them to observe a writer’s whole process through this libraries permanently. romance fiction collection. “From a librarian’s standpoint, it’s really Roberta Gellis is a writer from the 1990s difficult because, especially on this floor, we whose original, meticulously handwritten are focused on permanence,” Ammidown manuscript for her novel “Knights Honor” is said. “We’re trying to keep these things The BGSU Brown Popular Culture Library’s 16,000 romance novels are located PHOTO BY ABBY SHIFLEY on the first three shelves and the wall on the left.

Love and pride: Couple reminisces on past 3 years

Brionna Scebbi shoulders in the claustrophobic classroom. Editor-in-Chief “You know how like in those romantic movies or just like those cheesy comedy Conversations and the smell of coffee fill the movies, and that song ‘Dreamweaver’ plays?” air at Grounds for Thought. A couple sits with Emily asks, sitting at a table in Grounds for their chairs close together on one side of a Thought reminiscing about the moment her small table, arms brushing against each other. and Alexis met. “That’s how I felt. I was like, ‘I “We actually sat at this exact table,” Emily feel like I’m in a movie right now.’” Latham, senior, human development and That “Dreamweaver” moment doesn’t seem family studies major, one half of the couple, to be fading as the two exchange loving gazes says as she wipes her hand across the tabletop. and playful jabs at each other while correcting “I was right there, and she was right here.” the other on the details of their relationship. The other half of the couple, Alexis “Cheeseball,” Alexis affectionately calls Rubertino, senior, studio art major, looks Emily, who apologizes with a giggle for around the coffee shop, thinking back to the interrupting Alexis as she described the first time she and her girlfriend went out. Alexis and Emily. PHOTO PROVIDED BY EMILY LATHAM strengths of their relationship. Back then, their first trip to Grounds together While their dimpled smiles are on full through the hazy September heat wasn’t meant “I just thought she was funny, and I — stood up and introduced herself at the display in the coffee shop, their relationship to be the start of a long and full relationship. thought, ‘This was easy.’” on-campus LGBTQ organization’s first hasn’t been without struggles. “I knew it was a date because she wouldn’t Music plays from the speakers in the coffee meeting of 2015. stop talking about how sweaty she was,” Alexis shop while the two start to share the details of Across the crowded Hanna Hall classroom, says, chuckling and looking toward Emily. But, how they first met. It was that same sense of Alexis’ laughter split the silence. Alexis was the she adds, she didn’t know they would be back humor that first caught Alexis’ attention. only one chuckling, while a friend pulled Emily at that table three years later. “Hi, I’m Emily, and I’m not Jewish.” back down, visibly embarrassed by the joke. What Alexis did know after that date was — Emily, wearing a shirt with the words “Challah As other students took turns saying their Read the rest at for it being the start of her first relationship Back” and a picture of Jewish challah bread names and pronouns, Emily locked eyes bgfalconmedia.com. and for her being an introvert — their on it — a reference to her favorite TV show with Alexis through the collage of heads and connection seemed effortless. PULSE September 30, 2019 | PAGE 6 Love songs for all types of relationships Ryan Cummings Pulse Reporter Love songs First and foremost, regular love songs have been Avalanches and “Music Sounds Better With someone you shouldn’t. While it’s not sung in mothers, while “Disarm” by The Smashing a staple of popular music since the beginning. You” by Stardust use a grand total of 48 words another language, “Your Best American Girl” Pumpkins is the exact opposite for Billy Standards like “Something” by The Beatles combined, but you can feel the love as each by Mitski is from the perspective of dating Corgans’ parents. “Sunday Candy” by Donnie and “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys are word repeats continuously. Progressive house someone from another culture. Trumpet & The Social Experiment is all about timeless classics to this day. Even more modern tracks like “Summit” by Skrillex and “Raise love for a grandma, while “I Love College” takes like “True Love Waits” by Radiohead Your Weapon” by deadmau5 are designed to Break-ups by Asher Roth is all about loving the college and “My Kind of Woman” by Mac DeMarco make you feel more than move. If you want Finally, the dreaded break-up tunes. Breakups lifestyle. “Tha Crossroads” by Bone Thugs-N- could easily join your daily rotation. Other to move, though, “By Your Side” by Jonas Blue come in many different emotions. If you’re Harmony mourns all those lost due to life in contemporary classics like “Let’s Stay Together” and “Middle” by DJ Snake are perfect for you angry about it, “Thnks Fr th Mmrs” by Fall Out the streets, and “Farley” by Adam Sandler is a by Al Green, “Here Comes My Girl” by Tom and your rager friend to groove to. Boy could be your route. Otherwise, songs lovely obituary for the late-great Chris Farley. Petty & The Heartbreakers and “Back At One” like Frank Ocean’s “White Ferrari”, “Amnesia” “My Shiny Teeth and Me” by Chip Skylark is by Brian McKnight are guaranteed to make you Admiring that special by 5 Seconds of Summer or “Slow Dancing the greatest song of all time according to my want to fall in love. in a Burning Room” by John Mayer would be dentist. someone from afar more appropriate. Songs like Jewel’s “You Were Love songs (with a twist) When you’re interested in someone, the only Meant For Me” and Mary J. Blige’s “Be Without Unrequited love Some love songs are a bit more complicated logical route to take is to stand outside their You” take the direction of wanting the lover Press play on songs like “Everything You Want” than being “lovey dovey.” “Hyper-Ballad” by bedroom window with a speaker above your back. Songs like “On Hold” by The xx, “Loud by Vertical Horizon and “If You Only Knew” Björk is about doing things to keep yourself head. Load songs like “That Lady, Pts. 1 & 2” by Places” by Jamie xx and “What It Takes” by by Shinedown when the one you want doesn’t sane while in a loving relationship. “Wicked The Isley Brothers, “Miss Independent” by Ne- Aerosmith are more about struggling to move want you back. When you just want them to Game” by Chris Isaak and “When You Sleep” Yo and “A Girl Like You” by Edwyn Collins into on. Break-ups are never easy, but hopefully be happy with you instead of the one they’re by My Bloody Valentine discuss an obsession, your playlist for that. When those inevitably these songs help you get through it easier. with, turn to songs like “Drew Barrymore” by while stalker anthems like “Every Breath You don’t work, use songs like “All For You” by SZA and “Best of You” by Foo Fighters. When Take” by The Police and “She” by Tyler, The Janet Jackson, “Photograph” by Def Leppard or Makin’ love you find yourself in a three way dance, and not Creator take those obsessions to the extreme. “Somebody’s Baby” by Jackson Browne instead. Sex havers, unite! “No Ordinary Love” by Sade, in the good way, blast “When You Were Mine” “Tourniquet” by Marilyn Manson deals with When none of those work, “Stacy’s Mom” by “Love You Down” by Ready For The World and by Prince and “Bizarre Love Triangle” by New being someone’s emotional band-aid, while Fountains of Wayne might work on the person “Justify My Love” by Madonna are perfect for Edition until the speakers burst. “Breakin’ My “The Feeling” by Justin Bieber asks if you love on the other side of the house. when you and that special someone are ready Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)” by Mint Condition the person you’re with or just the feelings in between the sheets. Hidden gems like “I’m is to be played when you finally realise just associated. Oh, and if you’re into getting kinky, Storied love songs On Fire” by Bruce Springsteen, “Pushin’ Inside how unrequited the love truly is. as the kids say, there’s always “Closer” by Nine One of hip-hop’s grandest traditions is the You” by Sons of Funk and “Purple Kisses” by Inch Nails. ability to tell a story in a way that is unique The-Dream are practically guarantees to get LGBTQ+ love to the genre and that extends to stories you some action. Other diamonds in the rough Everyone is human and we all want to be Young love about relationships. Common has one of like “Bed” by J. Holiday or “Tonight (Best You loved regardless of our identity. That’s why it’s Ah, young love. That person that makes you the best hip-hop love songs in “The Light,” Ever Had)” by John Legend could feasibly get so important to bring up songs like “Fastlove, feel like a kid again. “You Make Me Feel So but he crafts a better story with “I Used To you into anyone’s pants as long as you’re doing Pt. 1” by George Michael and “Your Song” Young” by Frank Sinatra has been a staple Love H.E.R.” A Tribe Called Quest, try and it right. by Elton John. These are proudly gay artists of this feeling for years, but newcomers like persuade a lovely lady on “Bonita Applebum” making wonderful music people can relate to “The Louvre” by Lorde and “Let’s Get Lost” by and Biz Markie swoons over the girl in the Self-love regardless of sexual orientation. “The Good Carly Rae Jepsen make you feel the butterflies very big bra on “Just a Friend.” OutKast talk Virgins, unite! You really have to hand it Side” by Troye Sivan and “Drone Bomb Me” by through your headphones. “Siberia” by about girlfriends of their youth on “Da Art of to songs like “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls ANOHNI are by LGBTQ representers, whereas Lights takes you back to when you thought Storytelling, Pt. 1” and Jay-Z discusses an old and “Pump It Up” by Elvis Costello & The “Damn, I Wish I was Your Lover” by Sophie B. you’d move away with your middle school flame before fame on “Song Cry.” Finally, Too Attractions for making such a pleasurable Hawkins and “This Charming Man” by The crush. “Seventeen Forever” by Metro Station $hort always gives you a good laugh with his time sound so normal. You’re a real jerk if you Smiths are sexually ambiguous tales. encapsulates those wild nights with your high “Freaky Tales” and Lupe Fiasco makes you feel can’t find the fun in listening to songs like school sweetheart, and “Young and Beautiful” for two rebel skaters on “Kick, Push.” “Long View” by Green Day or “Love Myself” by Lana Del Rey is what you hope your by Hailee Steinfeld. Ok, no more puns. If you significant other says to you now. Out of state love want a song that is more about actual self-love Not everyone is from around here. Therefore, and not the literal kind, “Pretty Girl Rock” by Computer love it’s important to mention songs that express Keri Hilson is an outstanding tune about self- For a genre that prides itself on being less different viewpoints from around the world. confidence. “Don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful”. wordy, dance music has churned out some “Narashite” by harunemuri is a Japanese song good love songs. “Computer Love” by Zapp about crying your eyes out post-breakup. Non-lover relationships may or may not be about having sex with “Con Te Partirò” by Andrea Bocelli is an Italian Not every song has to deal with relationships Read the rest at your technology, but “Digital Love” by Daft opera piece about saying goodbye, and “Si between lovers! “Dear Mama” by 2Pac and bgfalconmedia.com. Punk definitely is. “Since I Left You” by The No Estás” by Chayanne is about longing for “Hey Mama” by Kanye West are odes to their PULSE September 30, 2019 | PAGE 7 On-screen relationships that actually suck BG News Staff ‘The Notebook’: sure does love riding in on his white horse to But, when she stubbornly tried to push Jack not be dead after all. He was manipulative save Pam from Roy, he doesn’t do a single thing away, then kept him around because he was and selfish since he only used Aria and their Allie & Noah to discourage the fairly significant amount of the only one who understood her, it affected relationship to get insider intel about Allison Mary Ross harassment Pam receives from her coworkers. their relationship. He started to fall victim to from Aria and her friends. Additionally, he Forum Editor Come on, Jim. If you’re such a white knight, the consequences of her actions, including used cameras, GPS tracking devices and audio Though “The Notebook” is heavily regarded why aren’t you protecting your woman from the multiple times he was almost killed in recorders to essentially stalk this group of as a classic love story since its first publication countless comments about her body in the the time span of the Titanic sinking. Yes, young girls to get as much information as he and after the book was turned into a movie, office? Nope, Jim is a coward, and he fails to she lived a wonderful life as Jack hoped she could. In fact, he already knew who Aria was the relationship between Noah and Allie intervene — in a way that was already written would, and she took his last name in memory before their relationship had begun, so when became known widely across the world. But into his character from the beginning — when of him. Though, there was no recollection of she met him at the bar for the “first time”, he their relationship doesn’t depict the healthiest Pam faces problems she’s too timid to fight off “Jack Dawson” — only in her memory and took advantage of the situation and built their of starts — or anything else — until they reach herself. Their relationship never really gets that silence — it affected how we see Jack, a simple relationship on lies. Despite how attractive their elder years in the nursing home. Their strong, and the awful habit by Jim to just let figment of Rose’s imaginative past. Is that Ezra may be, the bottom line is that he is a relationship starts with Noah almost killing Pam endure terrible workplace conditions on really an ideal relationship? predator and should have been held more himself, by dangling off a Ferris wheel, in her own sucks. Jim sucks. Thanks for coming accountable for his actions. In the real world, order to get Allie to agree to go on a date with to my TED Talk. ‘Pretty Little Liars’: their relationship would not fly. him. Their first date, Allie is tricked into going Aria & Ezra on a double date with Noah after repeatedly ‘Titanic’: Shaelee Haaf saying she had no desire to go out with him. Jack & Rose City Editor But after that date, their relationship takes off Rosiland Fletcher with a series of lies, the biggest of those lies Copy Chief In the show, “Pretty Little Liars,” the relationship being lies to Allie’s parents. Her parents rarely between Aria Montgomery, the 15-year-old high had any idea of her whereabouts as Noah and Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater are a schooler and Ezra Fitz, the attractive teacher Allie were always sneaking off, both during the lovely couple, but when thinking about the and college graduate is conveyed as rebellious, day and late into the night. Allie also neglects three days they knew one another, is their sexy and passionate, but is realistically over- to tell Noah about her big decision to go to relationship truly one of the best? Despite glorified, as a student-teacher relationship is Sarah Lawrence for college, a decision that my love for “Titanic,” looking from a realistic without question, completely inappropriate. We would alter their entire relationship even if perspective, there are issues with idealizing find out lateron the show that Ezra had been it had the stability to withstand the distance. the relationship. Rose was headstrong and working on publishing a book about Allison Moreover, their relationship is also plagued independent as Jack was optimistic and free- DiLaurentes, Aria’s friend who had gone with constant fights, which were fixed by spirited, and their traits worked well together. missing two years prior, and how she may kissing or hugging each other. Although there is no denying Allie and Noah were crazy in love with each other, being in love does not make a relationship healthy. The lies, fights and situations they put each other in all show the toxicity of their relationship. ‘The Office’: Jim & Pam Bri Scebbi Editor-in-Chief Jim and Pam from “The Office” are given way more credit than they’re due. First of all, I’m not a huge fan of the way Jim began his rela- tionship with Pam by interfering with her cur- rent relationship with Roy. While I understand that her engagement to Roy was unhealthy, I just really hate storylines in which the wom- an has to be saved by the man — plus, there were other ways for Jim to empower Pam to leave Roy rather than coming in there on his stupid white horse to kiss a women engaged to someone else. My main problem with Jim and Pam — but specifically Jim — is he was a sucky boyfriend and then husband. For a dude who Allie & Noah in “The Notebook”. PHOTO PROVIDED BY FRISKYTUNA ON FLICKER BG NEWS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 8 Q&A with single BGSU students Cornasia Sandford Reporter Dating in college isn’t easy; BGSU seniors give Emmani Jones Amber Childs, media sales Landen Bates, communication Major: Healthcare administration their take on relationships as undergrads. What are your views on relationships What are your views on relationships in college? Myles Johnson What are your views on relationships in college? “I would say go for it if that’s what makes you Major: Advertising in college? You should stay single for a certain amount of happy. If you see yourself as being content “Your freshman and sophomore year, you time … I honestly think it’s OK to stay single all with being in a relationship, by all means go What are your views on relationships should be single to try to figure yourself out, four years, because you’re learning new things for it. Now I will stress to not do long distance in college? then junior and senior year, you could settle about yourself and you don’t know what you especially in your earlier years here … it can be “I don’t believe in them. Live life and do what down. But I feel that your whole college want 100%.” a little difficult trying to keep a commitment you want, but if it works, it works.” experience you should be single, so you can to somebody when you have so many people How is it being single in college? do what you want to do. Relationships can How is it being single in college? around you.” “I’m enjoying myself, I’m single on purpose sometimes have a lot of problems and I think “I would like to stay single because my with no intention of being in a relationship. I your main focus should be school.” last relationship was a waste of time … How is it being single in college? prefer to be single because I’m still growing.” relationships are a waste of time, especially at “For me I just don’t have many options to How is it being single in college? this age. You don’t know what you want and choose from at this school … it’s not the best What advice do you have for other “It’s going good. I have a lot of options, but they don’t either.” but it’s fine; I live my best life and do my thing.” singles at BGSU? I’m single on purpose, because everyone isn’t “First, do not get a girl because you are lonely. faithful.” What advice do you have for other What advice do you have for other When you get attached, you’re more focused on singles at BGSU? singles at BGSU? her than your own goals. Find your focus, find What advice do you have for other “If you consider being in a relationship in “Do what you want to do … it all depends on what your goal and focus on that … let relationships singles at BGSU? college, know 100% what you want. If they you are looking for out of life at that moment.” “Enjoy life and just stay single.” come as they come.”r whole life to search for don’t want the same things as you, don’t waste a relationship; don’t search for that in college, your time. Just cut them off and go on with the just let it find you.” rest of your life.” Love or hate? Roommates and their problems

Mai Vu “Problems typically occur when quickly, rather than letting them fester. Each sophomore psychology major, said. Reporter problems go unaddressed, when people person should attempt to communicate While communication is the solution to are unwilling to be flexible, or when one their wants and needs and each should try to any problems, what else can students do What do college students worry about the person is not being respectful of the other listen with an open mind to their roommate,” if there is a big argument between them? most when they first move to campus? person,” Dworsky said. Dworsky said. Communication is important, but students Will it be the workload? Or homesickness? However, many students don’t know how Communication is a fundamental factor have to make sure each person has an The answers may vary. To some people, a to solve an issue with their roommates. The for every relationship. If roommates are opportunity to be heard without interruption roommate is one of the biggest concerns for answer is communication. willing to negotiate and be flexible, a middle and discuss solutions. Not everyone is lucky college students. “Much like any partnership, open ground can be found. enough to have roommates sharing common A lot of things can happen between communication is key. It’s important for “I will just be honest and straightforward, hobbies with them, showing interest in talking roommates. They can get along well and roommates to address issues and concerns but with a polite language,” Chi Le, a to them, or caring about them in general. be close friends for the rest of their time in Befriending roommates can be stressful, college, or they can end up disliking each but Dworksy has a simple solution for other so much that they never communicate students to follow. or even move out of the dorm. “Be kind and respectful and show interest “Conflict is natural between human beings in the things they care about. Look for that can’t be avoided. What can be avoided opportunities to do things together and ask is dealing with the conflict in an unhealthy your roommate if they would be interested way,” Dworsky, a clinical professor in the in taking part in that activity with you. If you Department of Psychology, stated. know they are interested in a certain TV show, As mentioned, conflict between humans event, etc., try to engage with them around is absolutely natural, as well as problems that interest,” Dr. Dworsky said. occurring between roommates. As a freshman in the university, students have to live with one or more people they may not have a connection with. If they are lucky, they can room with their friends and would have to Email: [email protected] learn how to address a problem with their pals if an issue arises. Problems with roommates typicaly arise when there is no communication PHOTO BY MAI VU SPORTS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 9 Student-coach relationships built on trust

Maxwell Marko that student-athletes come to them to help right amount of time with a coach in order involved with the players than most coaches,” Falcon Media Sports Director sort things out. Coaches want to be there to develop the relationship needed to be Mazzarella said. for their players, and from a student-athlete considered quality off the field and on the This increases the chances that a player The life of a collegiate student-athlete is a perspective, trust is just as important. field. Wade had gone through two offensive would come to him or anyone on staff with busy one. Between schoolwork, practice Darius Wade came to BGSU at the request coordinators at Boston College before a non-rugby related issue. Mazzarella insists and being able to compete in games, there of Loeffler. The duo previously collaborated at connecting with Loeffler, but each one was that players and coaches are seen as equals, is plenty to occupy the mind. Enter a coach. Boston College, and just when Wade thought gone after one year. meaning they are more likely to disclose There to guide a student-athlete through any his football days were done he received an With Loeffler, Wade has someone he knows information or even consider going to a coach problem as a role model and as a friend. invitation to join the Falcons. He knew he has gone through plenty of experiences and with a personal problem. It’s not the easiest job, especially could trust Loeffler. can share with him details about his position. “I think it’s important for the health of for someone like Scot Loeffler. The “Trust. That’s probably one of the biggest His craft is a complicated one that relies on the team,” Mazzarella, who has admittedly first-year head coach of the football factors. Just knowing that he’s going to put you trial and error. Loeffler can teach him how to thought a lot about the subject, said. “There’s program oversees over 100 players. That’s in a good position and that he can trust you not make the same mistake twice. a certain part about the club aspect (of 100+ athletes to develop professional to then execute the job … and then there is What happens when a coach can’t provide BGSU rugby). You haven’t got a whole bunch relationships with and 100+ students to some semblance of friendship. You still have that type of communication in-game? The of people doing stuff for you. You have to develop emotional relationships with. to enjoy their company and be around them,” emotional relationship grows even stronger. do it… That’s why we’re opposed to being With so many people to connect with, the Wade said. Roger Mazzarella, former BGSU rugby head a varsity sport. We’d like more financial or daunting task is counted on to be a team Anyone can express a need for trust in a coach, has bonded with thousands of student- administrative things, but we wouldn’t want effort. Assistant coaches and coordinators are relationship, but the other party needs to be athletes who have come through his program. to be a varsity sport where everybody does just as important to the relationship student- prepared for reciprocity. Any relationship with They have stayed connected with him and everything for you.” athletes share with their sport — in this case, as much passion as those involved in sports is each other in what Mazzarella describes as a This, as Mazzarella or anyone who has been football. going to need support. cult-like fashion. involved with the rugby program will tell you, Loeffler shares that being able to connect “The whole key to it, in my opinion, is With rugby, the concept of a coach who is has created a foundation of alumni that are with a student-athlete off the field is crucial. getting your student-athlete to tell you (what on the sidelines and involved in the general now willing to do anything to help their team. “That’s where the trust and relationship they’re going through). Because there’s a strategy is relatively new. Players and captains Some are even volunteering as scouts in their that’s built outside the building occurs. It lot of times that you don’t know, and you’re are often the ones calling the shots on the field spare time, hoping to convince any potential doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter criticizing for not performing but you don’t and in practice. recruit to join a life changing experience. what your age is — everyone has something understand the reason why,” Loeffler said. “That’s a good thing for rugby. We are The relationship between coaches and going on,” Loeffler said. Sometimes it comes down to spending the probably way more emotionally and socially student-athletes starts as soon as the two are No matter the issue, coaches are insistent introduced. Whether it is rugby, football or any sport on campus, building a relationship with a coach is a reason some players will come to certain schools over others. “Gosh, some of the quarterbacks I’ve recruited, I’ve recruited since they were a (high school) freshman. So you know them inside and out by the time you get them,” Loeffler said. The same can be said for any sport on campus. The relationship players gain with coaches or teammates can only be replicated in few places. There may be a lot going on when it comes to juggling school work and athletics, but the communication and passion for each other is almost forced. “In this program, over time, you know each other better. You’ve got better relationships and whenever you’re asked to do something really hard, you understand why as a player. And then I can understand the player better,” Loeffler said.

Twitter: @MaxwellMarko

PHOTO BY IAN CAMPBELL Email: [email protected] Defensive lineman Karl Brooks jumps in celebration alongside defensive coach Tyler Henderson.. SPORTS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 10 Culture wins for BGSU volleyball

Kerstie Shaw relationships with one another, I could tell they loved meeting me. I didn’t feel like I During my time with the program, I’ve had Sports Columnist Bowling Green was a special place. had already built relationships in the short the opportunity to experience and build a It didn’t hit me until I visited another school time I was there. championship culture. Each spring, our team Three years ago, I stepped on BGSU’s campus and saw the contrast. At this school, the girls They always say during the college has culture meetings in which we redefine for my official visit – not sure what I was didn’t seem quite as excited to meet me and decision process that you will know when our five team values. These are the principles looking for and not sure what to expect. What show me their home. They didn’t seem to love you find the right place. I knew BG was my that our program chooses to live and play by. I found was a group of girls and coaches who being together as much as the BG girls did. right place because of the people. A group Our values are love, unity, competitiveness, really cared about Bowling Green and who They didn’t hug me goodbye and say, “see you of girls from all over the U.S. – and the world communication and hard work. really cared about each other. As I sat with soon!” when I was leaving. I didn’t get a text – made a place I had never heard of two This year we defined love as “choosing to build them in the dining hall and observed their from each of the girls telling me how much months before feel like home. relationships and serve others.” We defined unity “together as one.” I saw love and unity the day I visited BGSU three years ago. I’ve seen love and unity in our program every day since. We’ve seen a lot of success the past couple of years. I believe it’s because of the value we place on being the best team that we can be, on and off the court. I’m incredibly grateful for the success we’ve had, but I’m more grateful for the relationships I’ve gotten to build with my teammates and coaches. We care about each other, we challenge each other and we have a whole lot of fun together. A week ago, we had a BGSU Volleyball Alumni brunch where past and current players got together and talked about their experiences with the program. A group of alums from the 2008 graduating class joined us and it was amazing to see how connected they still were. They reminisced on their BG days together – remembering every detail of their favorite memories. What struck me more, though, was the experiences they’ve shared after college ended. They talked about how they’ve raised their kids together, acting as unofficial aunts. They talked about all the times they’ve gotten together and how they still text in their group chat almost every day. The connectedness of the 2008 alumni made me so excited to keep sharing my life with 18 of my best friends. The relationships I’ve built and the memories I’ve gotten to share with my team have trumped any reservation I ever had about coming to BG. I know 10 years from now we’ll all be in each other’s weddings, acting as “aunts” to each other’s kids and maybe even still sending messages in our group Snapchat.

Email: [email protected]

PHOTO BY MICHAELA DAVIS BGSU Volleyball celebrates a win. BG NEWS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 11 Relationship red flags Teens define healthy relationships Vaughn Cockayne Web Editor Rosiland Fletcher 1. Spending a lot of time together Copy Chief The beginnings of relationships can be What is a healthy relationship? How may The group, located in central Ohio has Laura Ryzenman very exciting. This excitement usually leads it be defined? People define relationships taken root in local school districts in the area. Love Without Hurt Representative, Mentor for Teen to spending a lot of time with each other differently, but according to loveisrespect.org, They have has held workshops and events, Advisory Board and, while not necessarily neglecting other “open, honest and safe” communication is a including “I Matter” and “Party to Prevent,” “Know yourself and what your values are, and relationships, can lead to them being seen fundamental part of the definition. which has provided education to young girls relate to the people you want to connect with as less important for the beginning stages of Love Without Hurt, a non-profit about teen dating violence and has provided whether friends, boyfriends. Seek those out the relationship. This, on the one hand, can organization, practices a similar definition resources for teens to utilize for themselves and avoid those that don’t fit in that value. be seen as something good because it could with an in depth focus on teen dating and peers. Trust your gut instincts. Make sure you have easily be interpreted as a mutual sense of violence. The group was “created in response Despite the focus on teen dating violence, support; if and when you need help, know affection. However, this amount of attention to the epidemic of teen dating abuse,” the group also focuses on the practice of where your resources are and where you can could easily alienate one from their typical according to the group’s website. healthy relationship habits during high get support.” support groups such as family or friends. The group, as part of their statement, is school, the transition from high school into “dedicated to empowering teens so they can college and into adulthood. They emphasize 2. Social media jealousy build healthy relationships,” which has been a the prevention and practice of healthy A certain amount of jealousy in any core value they’ve been practicing for the past relationships, whether that be a teen and/or relationship can be a genuine sign of three years. adult relationship. affection, as it would be strange for a The Teen Advisory Board was formed out of The members — both mentors and partner not to miss their significant other. Love Without Hurt, for teens to take initiative teens — shared advice for warning signs of Read the rest at However, in the internet age, this can become in their high schools and connect to their peers unhealthy relationships and what a healthy complicated when things such as liking about issues regarding teen dating violence. relationship encompasses. bgfalconmedia.com. another person’s picture can become a massive conspiracy. This kind of attachment to social media can, of course, be interpreted THE BG NEWS SUDOKU positively as a sign of genuine care. On the other hand, it would also be seen as an early indicator of a controlling personality. 1. Caressed 2. Gaiter 3. High physical attraction 3. Before, poetically 4. Sea eagle Much like the first trait, spending a lot 5. Makes lace of time together, this does not sound 6. Come back 7. Demean malicious. Physical attraction is important 8. Ice cream holder in relationships and can greatly strengthen 9. Terminate 10. A drawing it. Yet, finding out if the partner in question 13. Paths is interested in the non-physical aspects of 14. Cocoyam the relationship first is important as well. Not 15. Habitual practice 35. Notify 16. Social scientist 38. Chemical agent finding common ground emotionally can lead 19. Plaster 39. Cost to hurt feelings and egos. 22. Sewing tools 40. Grave marker 24. Beadwork 42. Flatter 26. Donated 44. Elderly 4. Constantly praising you, but 27. Tiny 45. Delete 30. Hurried 48. Fourth sign of the degrading themselves 32. A late time of life zodiac It is important for people in a relationship 33. Not written exams 49. Hens make them 34. Highly seasoned fatty 50. Canvas to see each other as equals and not as one sausage 53. Precious stone being out of the others’ “league.” This kind of 55. 52 in Roman numerals language appearing often is a clear sign of low SUDOKO self-opinion on part of the partner, which can To play: Complete the grid 1. Mixture of rain and snow 41. Copied have detrimental effects down the line. The so that every row, column 6. Sped 42. Quaint outburst 11. Latin name for our planet 43. Following trouble is that it can sound very good to have and every 3 x 3 box contains 12. Hard rubber 44. Austrian peaks someone you are attracted to say flattering the digits 1 to 9. There is no 15. Imperative 45. Wicked guessing or math involved. 16. Norm 46. Stare things. It is important to recognize that if 17. Soak 47. Needlefish these things come attached to self degradation Just use logic to solve 18. Take up the cause 48. Open frame or basket of iron 20. Wander aimlessly 51. Hair goop it is certainly not healthy. 21. Like 52. Emigree 23. Unit of land 54. Lead sulfide 24. Invigoration 56. Illness 25. Heredity unit 57. Smiles 26. Smile 58. Glowing remnant 27. Welt 59. Malice 28. Border 29. Since 30. Creases 31. Evolved 34. French for "Room" 36. Mineral rock Read the rest at 37. Angers bgfalconmedia.com. BG NEWS September 30, 2019 | PAGE 12 Students often choose to ditch condoms The BG News Stepha Poulin Channel Manager Respectively for women and men, 41.8% make-shift dental dams, which act as a barrier Classified Ads One of Addison Jane’s sexual partners said he and 20.4% used a condom “none of the time.” between the genitals and the mouth during couldn’t use a condom since his penis was too When Jane got her first long-term oral sex. 419-372-2606 big. boyfriend, she stopped using condoms and “Some guys claim they can’t ‘pop it up’ with got on birth control. They broke up, and she onl The BG News will not knowingly a condom on,” Jane said, “and I’m just like, started hooking up with other people and accept advertisements that dis- ‘really, though?’” using condoms again. . criminate, or encourage discrim- This trend reflects CDC data. When people of omen e In response, Jane — who asked to use a a condom ination against any individual or pseudonym — opened a Magnum condom have more than one sexual partner, they are group on the basis of race, sex, and shoved it over her entire right arm. more likely to use a condom. color, creed, religion, national She and her partner ended up using a But it may surprise some how few people origin, sexual orientation, dis- condom that night. use condoms. Jane expected more people ability, status as a veteran, or on “Since starting the whole Tinder hookup would use them, judging by her sexual . the basis of any other legally pro- of men ea experiences. tected status. thing, I strictly use condoms, even if I’ve slept a condom with them beforehand,” said Jane, a 20-year- “I’ve had sex with — let’s say — more than feenl old BGSU junior majoring in creative writing. 10 and less than 25 people, including men But according to the CDC, many college-aged and women,” Jane said. “Only a couple people people don’t use condoms on a regular basis. didn’t want to use condoms. No one really FOR RENT Among women ages 20 to 24, only fights against it.” BG News 14.4% use a condom “most of the time.” Even when she’s having one-night-stands Read the rest at HOUSE FOR RENT Meanwhile,1 column 27.4% of (2.4375”) men surveyed by 6” used a with women, Jane still uses protection. Avail now. 2BR, AC, APP, W/D, curtains and condom that frequently. 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