",! ,.." ~~ ,..... 9 ! assumptions have eroded. SYI ~'. the difficulty experienced by ( .J.. ~ the same religious movement­ 'f , versation when they address I 1 For close to two millenni, 'r.; ." ily law upon a vast body of Je' and continuing with rabbinic, , • also drew on later Jewish lega much to say about family life.. What Is aJewish Family? \~ .I Jewish religious tradition, deY< I ~ tives of Israel's patriarchs and J Changing Rabbinic Views ,;, commandments and prohibiti' J, mandments are that: (I) men "': Jack Wertheimer ) rabbinic works considered pro( i and (3) they are obligated to tei 1, ofIsrael. (4) Women, as concei1 ,'"'{ to their children-consequen ~ obligations. The biblical text, LTHOUGH NO ONE can gainsay the fluidity of family life over the I rate upon prohibitions affecti long course of Jewish history and in the many social and cultural "'" ~ are forbidden, (2) even sexual environments inhabited by Jews, several fundamental assumptions A '( ulated by laws of menstrual p about what constitutes a Jewish family and what ought to be sanctioned and t bidden, including exogamous encouraged by Jewish religious institutions have remained relatively stable, ,. and regulated.) Together, these; at least since the emergence of rabbinic Judaism some two thousand years 1 t Judaism to hold legal force eith. ago-until our own time. Over the past few decades, changingsocial pat­ t T While a vast corpus of ra terns within the American Jewish community have prompted a reconsider­ f family matters, many addition ation of profound questions concerning the nature of the Jewish family: its T <' gious law, but rather were sub purpose, composition, and proper roles. As has been the case in American ~' minated the changeability of tI society at large, the questioning of long-held assumptions and religious prac­ <t' t; by custom, rather than law. TI tices has occasioned considerable turmoil within Jewish denominations and , ied greatly, arranged marriagl; has sparked culture wars between religious movements. I r than in others, the roles of wo By virtue of their roles as the guardians and interpreters of Judaism, rab­ have undergone changes, vie.. bis have stood at the front lines of such skirmishes. They have been pressed «t children have varied, conceptt to defend or amend Jewish religious teachings regarding family matters, and 4 _, and so too have attitudes abc even more directly, rabbis themselves have been challenged to reconsider their I .. marriage. Circumstances and own religious policies within the synagogue sanctuary and school, and under .. the nuclear and extended fam= the marriage canopy. Not surprisingly, rabbinic discourse has shifted con­ ~ In the modern era, new c siderably in recent decades: new types of analyses have been brought to bear; 1. cumstances further accelerated the rhetoric has shifted; and even among traditionalists, long-standing I ! 250 years. 4 The ideal of roman. ~ ~ 244 ~ WHAT Is A JEWISH FAMILY? 245 assumptions have eroded. Symptomatic of the radicalization of discourse is 9 the difficulty experienced by contemporary rabbis-including those within CI7;) the same religious movement-to find a common language of religious con­ versation when they address certain questions related to the Jewish family. For close to two millennia, rabbis have based their decisions about fam­ ily law upon a vast body of Jewish literature, beginning with the biblical text and continuing with rabbinic works such as the Mishnah and Talmud. Rabbis also drew on later Jewish legal codes and exegetical works, all of which had much to say about family life. The Pentateuch itself, the formative text of the oily? Jewish religious tradition, devotes considerable attention to the family narra­ tives ofIsrael's patriarchs and matriarchs and also contains an extensive set of views commandments and prohibitions. Among the most important of these com­ mandments are that: (l) men are to marry,2 (2) they are to procreate (some rabbinic works considered procreation to be the first of the commandments),3 and (3) they are obligated to teach their children about the religious traditions of Israel. (4) Women, as conceived by rabbinic Judaism, above all, are to attend to their children-consequently they are exempt from time-bound ritual obligations. The biblical text and subsequent rabbinic Judaism also elabo­ le fluidity of family life over the rate upon prohibitions affecting family life: (1) certain types of sexual acts n the many social and cultural are forbidden, (2) even sexual relations between husband and wife are reg­ veral fundamental assumptions ulated by laws of menstrual purity, (3) certain types of marriages are for­ what ought to be sanctioned and bidden, including exogamous marriages. (Divorce, however, is sanctioned ; have remained relatively stable, and regulated.) Together, these do's and don'ts were understood by rabbinic daism some two thousand years Judaism to hold legal force either as religious duties or religious prohibitions. w decades, changing social pat­ While a vast corpus of rabbinic literature developed to address these .ity have prompted a reconsider­ family matters, many additional concerns were not regulated by Jewish reli­ e nature of the Jewish family: its gious law, but rather were subject to local custom. Recent research has illu­ s has been the case in American minated the changeability of those family arrangements that were governed l assumptions and religious prac­ by custom, rather than law. The age of marriage and childbearing has var­ lithin Jewish denominations and ied greatly, arranged marriages were more popular in some environments l . movements. than in others, the roles of women inside the home and in the marketplace and interpreters of Judaism, rab­ have undergone changes, views of the parental role in the disciplining of rmishes. They have been pressed children have varied, conceptions of proper sexual modesty have changed, 19S regarding family matters, and and so too have attitudes about the enjoyment of sexual pleasure within een challenged to reconsider their marriage. Circumstances and custom also shaped the relationship between sanctuary and school, and under the nuclear and extended family. •binie discourse has shifted con­ In the modern era, new cultural perspectives and legal and social cir­ alyses have been brought to bear; cumstances further accelerated changes within the Jewish family over the past g traditionalists, long-standing 250 years. 4 The ideal of romantic love triumphed over arranged marriages, so 246 JACK WERTHEIMER much so that Jewish Enlightenment figures took up the cause of freedom of In 1983, the Reform movi choice in the selection of a spouse.s Fertility rates plummeted in all modern­ the plurality ofAmerican Jew izing Jewish communities.6 Thanks to the decline in their family size and their inition of Jewish identity by embourgeoisement, upwardly mobile Jews could afford child care and the lux­ intermarriage as a Jew. In the ury of doting on their children.? Migration, a disruptive ex~erienc~ un~er­ nents argued that the shift, gone by most Jewish families in the modern era, upen~ed famIlY,:'elatlon~hlp~: already practiced within the casting children as educators of their parents and wives as the breadglVers moreover, ameliorated the co who supported their families. 8 Jewish assimilation also increased the numbers their children as Jewish, and i of Jews who lapsed in their religious behavior. Rates of intermarriage soared tus of males and females, sincl in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries in much of western and to Jewish mothers or to Jewi1 central Europe. And when communism triumphed in Russia and other parts was more equitable, as it gavi of eastern Europe, intermarriage became the norm there. But while rabbinic redefinition of Jewish identity and communal leaders certainly scrambled to address a host of legal and com­ Though often described, munal issues prompted by such massive changes, the fundamental religious ment in fact was nonlineal in understanding of what constituted a Jewish family remained unchanged. descent from a Jewish mothe During the last two decades of the twentieth century, new questions sur­ was formal conversion to Jll( facing about family have prompted the adoption of radically new approaches redefined as an act of persona and policies toward families by various branches ofAmerican Judaism. What sumption" of Jewish status w follows is a thumbnail sketch of the four most contentious issues and the mal acts of identification . arguments employed by proponents ofchange.9 consequence of this decision: between the family and JewisI­ WHO Is A JEW? Jewish community primarily lineal decision added or subs1 Until quite recently, Jews ofdifferent religious denominations, whatever th.eir tion as considerations for Jewi theological disagreements, could agree on who was a member of the Jewish of the slogan, "we are all Jews community. Early in the Common Era, rabbinic Judaism determined that gan that reflects a radical breal­ a Jew was one who either had been born to a Jewish mother or had con­ of Jewish identity as inherited verted to the Jewish faith. \0 The rabbinic standard was universally accepted, sen characteristic. and the barriers to intermarriage created by internal Jewish taboos as well This ruling has been dull as by gentile hostility saw to it that the standard was easily maintained. But movements, both of which IT with today's massive increase in exogamy, some have been prompted to Jewish identity and regard Je..