Marriage Maintenance, Miscategorization, and New Manifestations: How People Are Reinforcing and Disrupting Gender and Sexual Inequalities in Married Life
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University of Wisconsin Milwaukee UWM Digital Commons Theses and Dissertations August 2019 Marriage Maintenance, Miscategorization, and New Manifestations: How People Are Reinforcing and Disrupting Gender and Sexual Inequalities in Married Life Daniel John Bartholomay University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Follow this and additional works at: https://dc.uwm.edu/etd Part of the Gender and Sexuality Commons, and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Studies Commons Recommended Citation Bartholomay, Daniel John, "Marriage Maintenance, Miscategorization, and New Manifestations: How People Are Reinforcing and Disrupting Gender and Sexual Inequalities in Married Life" (2019). Theses and Dissertations. 2159. https://dc.uwm.edu/etd/2159 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by UWM Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of UWM Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. MARRIAGE MAINTENANCE, MISCATEGORIZATION, AND NEW MANIFESTATIONS: HOW PEOPLE ARE REINFORCING AND DISRUPTING GENDER AND SEXUAL INEQUALITIES IN MARRIED LIFE by Daniel J. Bartholomay A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Sociology at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee August 2019 ABSTRACT MARRIAGE MAINTENANCE, MISCATEGORIZATION, AND NEW MANIFESTATIONS: HOW PEOPLE ARE REINFORCING AND DISRUPTING GENDER AND SEXUAL INEQUALITIES IN MARRIED LIFE by Daniel J. Bartholomay The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, 2019 Under the Supervision of Professor Noelle Chesley This research positions marriage as an institution that has historically served to privilege men, masculinity and heterosexuality. Overall, this project is intended to advance our understanding of gender and sexual inequalities in the realms of marriage and family by examining the lived experiences of married people. It draws on data from 41 in-depth interviews conducted with married people living in Wisconsin, many of whom identify as part of the LGBT+ community. Using qualitative social science methods, this research speaks to unanswered questions regarding the capacity of a more gender-fluid society to reshape key social institutions (like marriage) in ways that make them more accessible to a wider population by reshaping cultural ideas about what marriage and family can look like. Theoretically, it broadens our understanding of how gender and sexuality are connected, the mechanisms that reinforce and disrupt gender and sexuality norms, and the larger implications of undoing for greater gender and sexual equality. ii © Copyright by Daniel J. Bartholomay, 2019 All Rights Reserved iii TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE ABSTRACT .............................................................................................................................. ii LIST OF FIGURES ...................................................................................................................vi LIST OF TABLES ................................................................................................................... vii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .......................................................................................................ix CHAPTER ONE. INTRODUCTION .......................................................................................... 1 CHAPTER TWO. THEORY AND PREVIOUS RESEARCH ON MARRIAGE, GENDER, AND HETERONORMATIVITY .............................................................................................. 11 The History of Marriage in the United States ......................................................................... 11 Contemporary Theories on Marriage ..................................................................................... 18 Deinstitutionalization and The Individualization of Marriage ............................................ 18 Social Exchange Theory and Marriage .............................................................................. 20 Gender and Sexual Inequalities in Marriage .......................................................................... 21 Problematizing Heteronormativity ......................................................................................... 25 The Effects of Heteronormativity on LGBT+ Families ...................................................... 27 Assimilation into Heteronormativity: A Critique of Same-Gender Marriage ...................... 29 Positioning Same-Gender Marriage as a Challenge to Heteronormativity .......................... 32 Accessing Heteronormative Privilege in Marriage ............................................................. 34 Marriage Beyond the Binary ................................................................................................. 36 Doing and Undoing Gender and Sexuality ............................................................................. 39 Research Questions ............................................................................................................... 42 CHAPTER THREE. METHODS .............................................................................................. 44 In-Depth Interviewing ........................................................................................................... 44 Study Eligibility .................................................................................................................... 45 Participant Recruitment ......................................................................................................... 47 Interviewee Characteristics .................................................................................................... 48 The Interview Process ........................................................................................................... 55 Data Generation .................................................................................................................... 58 Data Analysis ........................................................................................................................ 59 Method Limitations ............................................................................................................... 63 Reflexivity ............................................................................................................................ 64 CHAPTER FOUR. MARRIAGE MOTIVATIONS, DECISIONS, AND BEHAVIORS RELATED TO GENDER AND SEXUALITY ......................................................................... 67 I Now Pronounce You… Negotiating Decisions about Marital Name Change ....................... 68 Legal Rights and Benefits as a Motivation to Marry .............................................................. 71 Practicing Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) and Polyamory while Married ..................... 77 The Potential of Polyamory ............................................................................................... 79 The Challenges of Being Married and Polyamorous .......................................................... 83 Discussion ............................................................................................................................. 86 CHAPTER FIVE. THE MARRIAGE EXPERIENCES OF BISEXUAL, QUEER, AND PANSEXUAL PEOPLE ........................................................................................................... 90 A Word on Sexual Identities Beyond the Binary.................................................................... 91 Bisexual, Queer, and Pansexual People in Mixed-gender and Same-Gender Marriages ........ 93 The Heteronormative Privilege of Choosing When to Be Out ............................................ 94 iv “So, Does That Mean You’re Straight?” Negotiating Queerness in “Heterosexual” Marriages .......................................................................................................................... 99 Discussion ........................................................................................................................... 104 CHAPTER SIX. CONCLUSION ............................................................................................ 107 Closing Thoughts ................................................................................................................ 110 REFERENCES ....................................................................................................................... 112 APPENDICES ........................................................................................................................ 131 Appendix A. Definitions of Gender and Sexual Identities .................................................... 131 Appendix B: IRB Approval Letter ....................................................................................... 134 Appendix C: Recruitment Flyer ........................................................................................... 135 Appendix D: Detailed Descriptions of Interviewees ............................................................ 136 Appendix E. Informed Consent Document .......................................................................... 140 Appendix F: Qualtrics Survey ............................................................................................. 145 Appendix G: Interview Schedule ......................................................................................... 156 Appendix H. Research Assistant Letter of Offer .................................................................