P Zer Opens £40 Million Stem Cell Research Lab in Cambridge

Friday November 21 2008 e Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 Issue No 684 | varsity.co.uk »p12 Arts »p14 Features »p16 Arts Public Enemy An introduction to Electro-indie band interviewed Cambridge Evensong Foals interviewed

Engineer is BNP member May Week Hugo Gye Chief News Editor It has been revealed that a Cambridge technician is a BNP member. Arthur Nightingale, head experi- mental design engineer at the Centre at risk for Industrial Photonics in the Engi- Proposed licensing laws may ban garden parties neering faculty, was one of more than 10,000 people on a list of British Na- Students fear threat to May Week festivities tional Party members leaked online this week. of Health has said: “ e government’s ini- Martin McQuade The list, thought to be have been tial belief is that the voluntary code (con- released by a disgruntled former BNP Deputy News Editor taining the aforementioned proposals) member, contains the names, ad- should be revised with a view to making it dresses and other details of members e traditional May Week garden party is mandatory on premises that sell alcohol.” including police officers, soldiers and under threat from new licensing laws pro- It added that “no nal decision has yet a vicar. It has now been removed. posed by the government. been taken” on the proposed changes. The party has reacted angrily to the Ministers are considering proposals e proposals have been met with leak. It has appealed to Data Protec- put forward in a Department of Health stern opposition from students. “It’s out- tion legislation and the Human Rights consultation that would see distribution rageous, yet another example of the ever- Act (which it opposes) to prevent the of free alcohol to women made illegal. “Ir- growing nanny state encroaching on our further dissemination of the list. responsible” promotions such as “all you personal freedom” says James, a second- Mr Nightingale admits to being a can drink” events would also be banned. year historian. paid-up BNP member. He joined the Garden parties, which usually circum- One JCR ents o cer, who prefers not party after Gordon Brown refused vent the problems associated with charg- to be named, believes there will be ways to hold a referendum on the Lisbon ing for drinks on the day by asking only around the new legislation, if it does Treaty; he says that “the three main for an entry fee, would be forced to adopt come into force. “We consider payment parties were all pro-Europe, so I felt new guidelines or shut down. to have been made when people buy the I didn’t have a choice but to look to College bops which distribute free ticket – and we’re not a retail premises. the BNP or UKIP.” He claims that he drinks would also be a ected by the pro- ey’re called parties for a reason, what is not active within the party despite posals, which would potentially include next: a ban on having your friends round holding membership. health warnings being placed on drinks for a few beers?” A University spokesman said, “Po- and an end to “happy hour” promotions. e president of the Crescents drinking litical beliefs are an entirely personal Any event which uses its College licence society, Tom Cheshire, claims their gar- matter, as long as they do not affect to distribute alcohol will be a ected, and den party happen, whatever the change in performance in the workplace.” only those garden parties which operate the legislation. “Whipped cream will still Soban Khawaja, head of CUSU’s outside the realm of their College “site li- be licked, and people will still get o their Black Students Campaign, says that cence” will remain unscathed. tits. It will de nitely go ahead.” Mr Nightingale is “within his rights” In an o cial statement the Department A spokeswoman for the Department to be a BNP member, but adds that “if of Health has told Varsity, “ e govern- he tries to influence others here, he ment is looking at an open consultation should either drop his membership or LAUREN SMITH we have held over the summer, and is quit his job.” Khawaja does not accept considering the proposals. We can’t com- Mr Nightingale’s reasons for joining, ment as to the e ect they will have on however, arguing that out of the BNP White Christmas: crowds ock to see 2,100 May Week in Cambridge, though it is and UKIP he chose the “party of ra- Number of people attending the possible that allowances will be made on cial hatred”. X Factor star in Market Square »p3 Wyverns’ garden party this year a case by case basis.” P zer opens £40 million stem cell research lab in Cambridge Andrew Bellis already begun working at the unit £40 million on the facility’s research officer of Stem Cell Sciences, a Cam- at various possible locations for their News Reporter in Granta Park, which opened last over the next five years. The centre’s bridge-based research firm, wel- regenerative medical unit to be sited week, and the firm will recruit about research will help develop treat- comed Pfizer’s investment. “It’s a big and they’ve chosen Cambridge.” Drugs giant Pfizer has pledged to in- twenty more researchers throughout ments to prevent disability, repair endorsement of the scientific cred- Ruth McKernan, Pfizer’s chief sci- vest £40 million in a new stem cell next year. failing organs and treat degenerative ibility of the city and of the biotech entific officer, said: “I’m very excited research centre in Cambridge. Pfizer, the world’s largest pharma- diseases. cluster that we have at the moment,” to lead this new research unit. Around twenty scientists have ceutical company, will spend up to Alastair Riddell, chief executive he told Varsity. “Clearly Pfizer looked Continued on page 3 »p12 Public Enemy »p14 An introduction to Cambridge evensong »p34 Solar-powered cars Something to say? [email protected] Friday November 21 2008 2 Editorial Call the Editor directly on 01223 761541 varsity.co.uk

Nominations are open for the 2009 Varsity100. Any Cambridge student can be nominated at varsity.co.uk/100

Contents Private lives in public places

udge not, lest ye yourself be judged. Following hot on the heels of Nicholas Hammond’s half-resignation comes News »p1-9 the revelation that a University engineer is a member of the BNP. This will doubtless cause the predictable out- rageJ and we can expect people to call for Arthur Nightingale’s dismissal. These people are misguided. Stem cell research » p3 Varsity detests the BNP, and – needless to say – abhors paedophilia in all its forms. These men have made seri- Cambridge receives the go-ahead to ous errors, and deserve censure. However, these errors have no relevance to their jobs, and both men should stay build a controversial new stem cell re- at the University. The matter would be entirely different if either of these men were in a position of public responsibility, such as search centre. policing, politics or in the NHS. Moreover, if Mr Nightingale were an immigration official, or Dr Hammond a teacher, they would be unable to continue in their respective jobs. But neither man has any professional responsi- Varsity profile » p8 bility outside the University, and neither man can be judged except on how be fulfils those responsibilities. Emmanuel’s master, Lord Wilson of Some might argue that it damages the University’s image to welcome such people, but hopefully the public will Dinton, used to be the Cabinet Secretary. realise that forgiveness, perspective and clear judgment are more useful than any knee-jerk reaction. Dr Hammond is a highly respected academic, and there is no reason to believe that Mr Nightingale is not an excellent engineer. Cambridge Spies » p9 They should be allowed to carry on doing what they do well, without being hounded on account of their private lives. Our world-famous round-up of Tab Tattle. It’s outrageous. Win a bottle of wine Magazine »p11-26 Complete Varsity’s online Wealth Survey at www.varsity.co.uk/wealth Leo Hickman » p11 for a chance to win Environmentalist interviewed. Submit your letter for the chance to win a bottle of wine from the Cambridge Wine Merchants. Public Enemy » p12 [email protected] This week there is no winner. Legendary hip hoppers speak to Daniel Cohen. Let’s hear it for Hammond is a huge difference between someone who illicit channels were used to satisfy them. views, or has viewed, child pornography It is an important difference, and one for Cambridge Evensong» p14 Sir, and active paedophiles that are genuine which Dr Hammond has paid the price. threats to society. It is now time to move on and let him An introduction to Cambridge’s lesser I am pleased that Dr Hammond is still Dr Hammond never acted on any of the get on with his job, without allowing past known choirs and the chapels they employed by the university. ‘desires’ that have been attributed to him, mistakes, and public opinion, to be used sing in. Dr Hammond is a world-class scholar in and those of us who of are acquainted with as excuses for further marring the career seventeenth-century French literature and his character know that he never would of a valued member of staff who contin- an excellent lecturer, and it would have been have done. ues to be a credit to the university and to Stephen Wiseman » p16 a dreadful loss to the MML department and Most people experience some form of academia. Psychologist or comedian? university had he not returned to teach. sexual curiosity, or even fetish, without the It goes without saying that I do not embarrassment of them being made public. Faithfully yours, condone his criminal activities. But I think The difference in this case was that the Foals » p16 it is very important to remember that there curiosity was socially unacceptable and that Name and address supplied They’re from Oxford, actually. Xan Rice » p15 courts already failed to provide justice by mater. I would vehemently oppose letting Hounding Hammond not sentencing him to spend a single day Nicholas Hammond return to work if he The film critic who became a in jail. This sends the wrong message to worked for my University. I hope your news reporter. Sir, Cambridge students, the community and Vice Chancellor will change her mind for all of United Kingdom. It suggests that the sake of the students, staff, and profes- I am completely appalled with the decision possessing child pornography is not a big sors of Cambridge. to let Nicholas Hammond return to work deal and that the justice system will be easy Yours faithfully, Comment »p29-31 as a French Professor. That decision is an on those who prey on the most vulner- insult to all sexually abused children and able and innocent of our society. I’m from Kevin Fong Varsity Debate » p29 their families in this world. The British Montreal, Canada and I work for my alma Montreal, Canada The pros and cons of vivisection. Correction You can’t buy love » p30 In our article “Lucy Cavendish clinical medicine student dies” (Issue 682, Friday November 7) we wrongly stated the date of Hazel Sopp’s The best things in life are free. memorial service. This will in fact take place on Saturday November 22 at 2pm at Lucy Cavendish.

Varsity has been Cambridge’s independent student newspaper since 1947 and distributes 10,000 free copies to every Cambridge Bark Obama » p31 college and to ARU each week. Barack’s choice of dog will have lasting consequences. Editor Patrick Kingsley [email protected] Deputy Editor Natasha Lennard [email protected] Chief News Editors Hugo Gye and Michael Stothard [email protected] Magazine Editor Daniel Cohen [email protected] Comment Editors Clementine Dowley and Olivia Sudjic [email protected] Sport Editors Ben Riley-Smith and Andrew Robson [email protected] Features Editor Robert Peal [email protected] Arts Editor Anna Trench [email protected] Reviews Editor Toby Chadd [email protected] Fashion Editors Joanna Della-Ragione and Ben Margereson [email protected] Deputy News Editors Craig Hogg, Martin McQuade and Chris Robinson [email protected] Sports Reporters Jenny Morgan, Jamie Ptaszynski Sport »p34-36 and Dan Quarshie [email protected] Science Correspondent Timothy Leung [email protected] Visual Arts Critic Emma Hogan [email protected] Theatre Critics Finn Beames, Elizabeth Davis, Emma Hogan, George Reynolds and Isabel Taylor [email protected] Literary Cambridge Abroad » p34 Critic Decca Muldowney [email protected] Film Critics Daniel Isenberg and Fred Rowson [email protected] Music Critics Henry Donati and Varsity takes a look at the engineers Andrew Spyrou [email protected] Classical Critic David Allen [email protected] Food & Drink Critic Robert Peal [email protected] Chief Subeditors Emma Jamison, Sheli Levenson, Charlie Pearson and Colm Flanagan [email protected] Chief Photographers Lizzie racing a solar-powered car across Aus- Robinson and Zing Tsjeng [email protected] Illustrators Jane Hall, Tom de Freston, Alice Edgerley, Giles Smith, Katherine Spence tralia and the undergrad rowing across [email protected] Photography Team Patrick Garety, Tim Johns, Sean Jones, Katy King and Paul Smith the Atlantic Business & Advertising Manager Michael Derringer [email protected] Board of Directors Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof Peter Robinson, Tim Harris, Tom Walters, Chris Wright, Michael Derringer, Lizzie Mitchell, Elliot Ross (Varsoc President), Tom Bird, George Grist, Patrick Kingsley, Natasha Lennard and Anna Trench Worcester wack woozy Blues » p36 NEWSPAPERS Varsity Publications, Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 760949. Varsity is published by Varsity Publications Ltd. SUPPORT The Rugby Blues’ Twickenham pros- RECYCLING Varsity Publications also publishes BlueSci and The Mays. ©2008 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a Recycled paper made up 79% of the raw retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. Printed material for UK pects look ever worse. newspapers in 2007 at Cambridge Newspapers Ltd — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT RECYCLING Friday November 21 2008 Got a news story? varsity.co.uk 01223 761543 / [email protected] News 3

In Brief

Hammond leaves Caius A don convicted of possessing child pornography has resigned as a Fel- low of Gonville and Caius. Nicholas Hammond, a University Reader in the Faculty of Modern and Medi- eval Languages, was given a twelve- month suspended sentence earlier this year for downloading over 1,500 illegal images. It was recently announced that he would keep his University teaching post. However, his decision to resign his Fellow- ship follows weeks of heated debate within Caius, including a special meeting of all the College’s Fellows. Sir Christopher Hum, Master of Caius, issued a statement saying: “ e College wishes to thank him warmly for the signi cant contribution which he made to teaching and to College matters over a period of thirteen years.”

Union elects Senior O cer

e Cambridge Union Society has elected a new Senior O cer. Magdalene’s Henry Walton beat three other candidates to replace

LAUREN SMITH Sébastien Ginet, who controversially resigned a er it emerged that high-pro le speakers such as Jude Law would not be addressing the Market Square lled with Christmas cheer on Sunday evening Society. Walton has insisted that “members’ enjoyment is of utmost Hundreds of people flocked to Market Square on Sunday to see Cambridge’s Christmas lights switched on. The big illumination came after a day of celebra- importance and this will not be tions, including a performance by Laura White, who was controversially booted off The X Factor only a week before. Miss White, who is currently top of the a ected by Union politics.” Mean- single charts with her fellow X Factor finalists, sang two songs, ‘American Boy’ and ‘Chasing Pavements’. The city centre manager, Emma Thornton, said: “It while, the President of the Oxford went fantastically. We had more people than ever before.” The festival marked the beginning of Cambridge Yuletide, the centrepiece of which is the ice rink Union has faced a disciplinary erected annually on Parker’s Piece and widely used by both students and townspeople. hearing a er advertising a number of speakers who were not in fact booked. He was found not guilty of deliberate deception by the disciplinary panel, however, and is not expected to resign. Work starts on £40m New climate change MBA stem cell centre e Judge Business School has launched what it claims to be the world’s rst climate leadership degree from a top-ten global business » P zer sponsors controversial research school. e course leader, Stephen Peake, hopes to show future leaders » UK aims to lead world in new technology the role the business world needs to play in confronting climate change. Continued from front page medical science and for the treatment He says that the aim “to reduce “While there is still a lot to under- of many debilitating conditions such greenhouse gas emission by eighty stand about how stem cells can be as diabetes and neurodegenerative per cent by 2050 may seem over- used therapeutically, we believe it is disorders,” Rod MacKenzie, head of whelming,” but the course enables one of the most promising areas of worldwide research at Pfizer, said in “future business leaders to see that scientific research.” a statement. a more productive role for business Stem cells are unspecialised cells The University might also benefit is to lead in the best way it can.” with the capability to develop into from the new research centre. Pfizer e course explores the impact of cells with highly specialised functions. says it will work alongside academic climate change from technological, Scientists hope to harness this abil- researchers and biotech firms in political and business perspectives, ity to allow them to test new medical Cambridge, with more details to be but Dr Peake claims that scienti c treatments and repair damaged cells. announced in the coming months. knowledge is crucial to our under- The UK has been seen as a world “A significant proportion of our re- standing of climate change. leader in stem cell research, partly due search will be done through scientific Caroline Cummins to funding restrictions imposed on collaboration,” a spokesperson said. American research in 2001 by George “Cambridgeshire ideally positions Bush. However, Barack Obama is us in one of the strongest biotech committed to allowing state funding regions in Europe. [Researching in for research, and British scientists ad- Cambridge] will provide an innova- mit that the US is likely to overtake tive and specialised scientific base in 52 Trumpington Street the UK in this area. a vibrant academic area.” Cambridge CB2 1RG Pfizer’s announcement forms part Granta Park, a science research park of a global $100m programme, Pfizer to the south of Cambridge, is home FREE CHELSEA BUN Regenerative Medicine, which will to several medical research and bio- With every purchase over £2.00 in the shop also see 30 researchers employed at tech firms and is already the base for OR a similar unit in Cambridge, Massa- Pfizer’s global drug delivery research. FREE MORNING chusetts. The British unit will focus John Grainger, the park’s managing on therapies for neural and sensorial director, said: “We are very pleased COFFEE/TEA (9am-12pm) disorders. that Pfizer Regenerative Medicine has With any cake or pastry in the restaurant “Pfizer Regenerative Medicine rep- chosen Granta Park as its European Double helix resents a great opportunity to focus home and look forward to working on presentation of this voucher world-class research in a field that with the new team joining the already and proof of student status holds considerable promise for bio- 2,000-strong park community.” Chief News Editors: Hugo Gye and Michael Stothard Friday November 21 2008 4 News [email protected] varsity.co.uk

MythBusters Outrage at topless image KINGSLEY PATRICK

What Scudamore’s don’t want you to know in Cambridge magazine

Natasha Lennard before – notably a lingerie clad student posed draped over the Union chair in Deputy Editor issue two. However, such previous images, although of a seductive nature, e student magazine Vivid has caused were signi cantly less explicit than the a stir with its page three image. e one featured in this edition, the fourth photograph depicts a model, wearing issue. e magazine, an independent just a pair of knickers and stockings, re- publication run by Cambridge students, clining over Clare Bridge. Her legs are is largely constituted of comment pieces splayed provocatively, and her breasts of a political and satirical nature. are clearly visible. e model, who is pictured anony- e image’s publication has been mously in the magazine, has declined condemned as sensationalism. As the to comment on reactions to the photo- furore surrounding the topless image graph. e Vivid editors have also re- gains momentum, there is increasing fused to o er a statement. concern about the impact this public- ity may have on the model, who is a Corpus Clock in high demand Homerton student. CUSU Women’s Week 7: Newton was sitting under O cer, Natalie Szarek said: “ is high- » Two reproductions of the clock ordered the tree outside Trinity Porters’ lights the disparity between a situation VIVID PUBLICATIONS in which a student gives consent over Huxley Bertram Engineering. One of Lodge when the apple famously fell Lizzy Tyler on his head her body and the way that a society the clock copies will be rhodium-plated with entrenched norms of objecti ca- News Reporter with a silver dial in the centre, making tion takes that consent and exceeds its it worth more than the original. ese t is not a myth that Newton was initial conditions.” It is thought that the e famous Corpus Christi clock is to two new pieces were privately commis- inspired to formulate his theory photograph was included in the maga- be reproduced for two private buyers at sioned by a customer in the UK and one ofI gravitation a er watching an ap- zine by its editors with knowing irony a reported cost of over £1 million each. abroad. ple fall from a tree. It is a myth that and an aim to mimic a tabloid trend. e four-foot-wide timepiece is the Other private buyers, as well as some this moment of inspiration occurred Responses from Cambridge students culmination of seven years of research shopping malls and even NASA, have ex- whilst Newton was sitting outside on the day of the magazine’s publica- and construction by John Taylor and is pressed an interesting in commissioning Trinity College. e apple-falling tion were mixed. Amelia Garnett, a Cambridge’s most recent tourist attrac- copies of the clock. Dr Taylor commented incident, as it really happened, was rst year NatSci from Newnham found tion. It draws hundreds of fascinated that it was relatively easy to tailor-make re- recorded by John Conduit, Newton’s the image “vulgar” and “pointless”. visitors every day, not only in Cam- productions to a customer’s requirements, assistant at the Royal Mint and hus- One female Downing third year com- bridge but on YouTube, where a video of within reason. band of the great physicist’s niece: mented, “I think it’s a bit of fun; Cam- it has received over 750,000 hits. It is the He was also keen to stress that “they “In the year 1666 he retired again bridge is usually so stu y”. Her friend, largest clock in the world that uses the are pieces of art, they are sculpture that from Cambridge to his mother in a female Catz student added, “I would ‘grasshopper escapement’ mechanism, entertains” and therefore could not be Lincolnshire. Whilst he was pen- have loved to see the look on the faces including a large ‘Chronophage’ at the mass-produced in their current format. sively meandering in a garden it of passing tourists during the photo top, which is shown eating away at time. However, there is a possibility that a came into his thought that the shoot”. Most students, whether they re- e two reproductions are currently smaller version could be devised using a power of gravity (which brought sponded positively or negatively, ques- Doctored version of the under construction by Dr Taylor and his less complex lighting system and would be an apple from a tree to the ground) tioned the pupose of the image. original Vivid image team, with help from the local artist Mat- available for use in people’s homes at some was not limited to a certain distance Vivid has featured ‘page three’ girls thew Lane Sanderson and Cottenham’s point in the future. from earth...” Note, you seekers of truth, that the moment of revelation took place in “Lincolnshire”, not “Cambridge”. Also, it was not the existence of gravitational forces that Newton suddenly apprehended. Rather, Break-in at Newton’s revelation was about how far the force of gravity extended and that it could be holding to moon in orbit. e truth about Newton’s tree is Market Square not so simple. Various trees around England have claims to being the bearers of the famous apple. e » £20,000 worth of watches stolen King’s School, Grantham say that they are in possession of the tree: couldn’t even li them. It was quite fun- Craig Hogg & Michael Stothard they claim that the tree was pur- ny really, they looked ridiculous. ey chased by the school, uprooted and Varsity News did not seem able to make a hole in the replanted in the headmaster’s gar- glass. Eventually they just ran away,” den. e sta of Woolsthorpe Man- ieves armed with sledgehammers the shopkeeper continued. or, which is owned by the National raided a Market Square jeweller on One policeman on the scene said, Trust, claim that Newton’s tree is in Wednesday, escaping with watches “I’d be very surprised if they were able their gardens. Trinity College make worth £20,000. to take anything, given that they were no such claim. All they say is that a At ve o’clock in the evening three only able to punch a very small hole in descendant of a tree from Newton’s men, nding the door of Mappin and the glass.” On arriving at the scene the orchard grows outside Great Gate, Webb locked, hammered forty times police made the hole in the glass larger, below the room he occupied dur- at the window of with two full-size and then made another hole for analy- ing his time here. Presumably a seed sledgehammers and one smaller one to sis of the glass. was purposefully planted in New- break the glass. Detective Constable Natalie Mar- ton’s honour. Despite the repetitive assault, con- riott, from Parkside CID, said: “ ere But, no, Newton was not sitting out- centrating on three di erent areas of would have been a lot of people around side Trinity when the apple-induced the shop window, the thieves only man- at this time of day and I am keen to moment of revelation occurred. Per- aged to make a small hole in one area of speak to anyone who saw this robbery haps it should be a salutary lesson the glass. Most of the reinforced glass take place. to tour guides and punters that not fractured, but did not break. “ ere are no clear descriptions of all Cambridge’s famed alumni are Even so, the hole was large enough the men but they are believed to have famed for things that happened in for them to make o with seven watch- been wearing dark clothes and had their Cambridge. Byron, for example, died es. ey then ed the scene across Mar- faces obscured by scarves or balaclavas. in the Greek Civil War, and this did ket Square into a getaway car parked We believe the robbers ran across the nearby. not take place on the Backs; Oliver e shop window on Market Square before getting into a car “We heard this repetitive banging Cromwell did not sign King Charles’ Wednesday night so anyone who was in this area may death warrant in the UL; and Jeremy noise, maybe forty times in all, so we have seen something signi cant.” Paxman did not present Newsnight went out the shop and saw three guys Anyone with information should from the Varsity o ces. hammering at the shop windows,” said contact DC Marriott on 0845 456 456 Natasha Lennard a local shopkeeper. 4, or Crimestoppers, anonymously, on

PATRICK KINGSLEY “ e hammers were so big they 0800 555111. Friday November 21 2008 Got a news story? varsity.co.uk 01223 761543 / [email protected] News 5

In Brief

Bus smartcards introduced Cambridge buses will soon be implementing a smartcard system similar to the Oyster cards used on London public transport. Machines compatible with the cards have just been installed on buses in the city centre, and will be tted on rural services lines this weekend. Although not currently ready for use, it is hoped that customers will be able to pay for travel with smartcards by Easter next year. Andy Campbell, managing director of Stagecoach Cambridge, described the Smartcard as a “bus pass for life”. Beth Staton

Bike drug dealer convicted A man has been sentenced to forty months’ imprisonment a er being convicted of selling crack cocaine and heroin in Cambridge. Ramon Jackson, 37, admitted to charges of Cambridge President Henry Pelly with supplying and intent to supply drugs his Oxford counterpart Colin Smith a er he was arrested by police o c- ers on June 14 this year. e o cers witnessed Jackson cycling towards a car with a man and woman inside to make a handover in Water Lane, Oxford accept 2009 Boat Race challenge from Cambridge close to the river in the Chesterton area of the city. When taken to the police station, Jackson was found he Boat Race season has kicked o , as Oxford accepted Cambridge’s challenge to a rematch following the Light Blues’ defeat last year. As is traditional, the losing crew of- to be in possession of crack cocaine fered to take on last year’s champions. e challenge ceremony took place at the Portland Gallery in London last week, and saw Cambridge captain Henry Pelly, who stud- and heroin as well as £2590 in cash Ties Environmental Design in Architecture at St Edmund’s, extend an invitation to Oxford’s Colin Smith, an MBA student at St Catherine’s. e 2009 Oxford and Cambridge found in a sock in his bag. Boat Race, sponsored by Xchanging, will start at 3.40 on Sunday March 29. It will be televised live on ITV. e 2008 race attracted a peak audience of 7.6 million people. Louise Nixey

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To find out more and to apply go to www.bailliegifford.com Chief News Editors: Hugo Gye and Michael Stothard Friday November 21 2008 6 News [email protected] varsity.co.uk

In Brief

Tesco plans new store Following the rejection of Tesco’s appeals last week for permission to open a store on Mill Road, the supermarket is planning to open an Express store in the Cambridge Lei- sure Park, o Hills Road. A er 386 days of action by local businesses to keep a new Tesco away from Cam- bridge, this move has given Cam- bridge traders a “kick in the teeth”, said Ugur Adis, leader of the Trad- er’s Alliance and owner of Essen- Protests in 2005 a er tialz in Hills Road. Traders fear that funding cut to Architecture the combined e ects of the credit threatened closure of the crunch and the aggressive march of department the supermarket giant will cripple their businesses. However, as this is LUCY BARWELL a private deal with the park owners, XLeisure, Tesco seems set to open their fourteenth branch in the Cam- bridge area. Tom Martin Architecture anticipates government report Robinson re investigated » Previous Research Assessment Exercise led to funding cut for School of Architecture A re in a Robinson kitchen is being deciding the allocation of funds. Con- ious and cautiously optimistic” about the students.” investigated by the police. Clothes Lizzy Tyler sequently, the school was threatened the upcoming report. A new focus on Physiology was another department that were being le to dry in the News Reporter kitchen were put on top of the hobs with closure in late 2004. research into sustainable design and a to receive 4 in the 2001 report; how- and covered in cooking oil, which Almost 2,000 students protested restructuring of the teaching system, ever, as part of a much larger depart- resulted in a re that caused “con- A report due to be released next month against the closure and, after serious to bring in ‘design fellows’ from the ment, there was a less dramatic e ect siderable damage”. e re alarms could a ect the future of a number of discussion by senior members of the national eld of cutting edge design on funding. ere was little talk of clo- sounded at midnight on November the University’s departments. University, the School was kept open. so that researchers are not distracted sure, and time alone will tell if there 13, and the re was then put out The Research Assessment Exer- Major changes were announced, in- by teaching, are two changes that he have been changes enough to boost without causing harm to any students cise (RAE), a government-run study cluding a renewed focus on research, hopes will enable them to do well in their star rating. or any other part of the College. “We into the research standards in Brit- with a new professor and lecturer in the RAE report. Bullock was keen to A CUSU education spokesman have already carried out extensive ish universities, will release its next sustainable design. The Vice-Chan- stress that they must “square commit- commented that “CUSU is monitoring investigations, no one had yet come report in December. The last report cellor Alison Richard said at the time ment to research with the absolutely carefully the outcome of this round’s forward to take responsibility for the released caused considerable reper- that she hoped “the radical restruc- rock-solid teaching of design that is at Research Assessment Exercise,” and incident,” said the College. All the cussions in some of the University’s turing accomplished in recent weeks, the heart of the department”. stressed that whilst research is a fun- students from that staircase are being departments, particularly the School and commitments by the school and A second-year architecture student damental aspect of the University, the questioned about the incident. of Architecture. the university, will enable the depart- commented that whilst the school importance of teaching should not be e School was awarded 4 out of 5 ment to excel in every respect”. “is de nitely getting better”, there are forgotten. “One of the greatest things for its research, rather than the 5 or 5* Whether these changes have suc- still changes that need to be made. “It about Cambridge is the variety of its Oliver launches restaurant that the majority of other departments ceeded in boosting the School’s rat- seems that the University is too in- teaching and diversity of its student received. is resulted in a £350,000 ing remains to be seen however. Nick volved in sta appointments. It would body. Closing small subjects, those Jamie Oliver is opening a new restau- cut in research funding, as the RAE is Bullock, the head of the department, be good if the department could have most at risk from bad RAE scores, rant in Cambridge. ‘Jamie’s Italian’ used by the government as a means of commented that they were “both anx- the nal say, they know what’s best for fundamentally damages this.” has received planning permission to open in the redeveloped Cambridge Guildhall and is scheduled to launch at the end of next year. e restaurant, part of a chain, is “inspired by Cambridge physicist ‘best University receives £82 his passion for Italy” and aims to offer “authentic, a ordable and great quality Italian food on the high female scientist in Europe’ million gi for new lab street”. e council said they believed that the restaurant would be able to withstand the credit crunch. Karolina Saar » Money given by Gatsby Charitable Foundation ey also hoped that the restaurant News Reporter would help bring more people to the aspect of the building will take into ac- Natasha Lennard area around the Guildhall, and onto A Cambridge physicist has won a count the fact that the surrounding Bo- King’s Parade and Bene’t Street. prestigious prize for female scientists. Deputy Editor tanic Garden provides the setting and Athene Donald, a professor of experi- the inspiration for research”. Oxford rugby party in mental physics, has received the 2009 e University has received its largest e University Herbarium will also ‘bring a t Jew’ furore L’Oréal-Unesco Award for Women in gi since the launch of the 800th Anni- be housed in the new building. e col- Science. versary Campaign. £82 million has been lection of over one million pressed and e programme has been promot- donated for the construction of a plant dried plant specimens includes those An Oxford rugby team is under in- ing women scientists since its launch in science laboratory in Cambridge. collected by Charles Darwin. vestigation from the University a er 1998. Each year ve female researchers, e money has been provided by the Director of the Botanic Garden, people complained about its plans to one on each continent, are honoured for Gatsby Charitable Foundation; the build- Professor John Parker, said of the new hold a ‘bring a t Jew’ party. Follow- their contributions to science. ing is being designed by award-winning project: “ e Garden looks forward in ing intervention by the Oxford Uni- e laureates are nominated by a architects Stanton Williams, and will be the 21st century to maintaining its posi- versity Students’ Union, the theme network of over 1,000 members of the Athene Donald, situated in the Botanic Garden. tion with the study of plant diversity in was changed to ‘bring a t girl’. How- international scienti c community, and prize winner On November 19 Vice-Chancellor the most modern way. e laboratory ever, several students complained to chosen by a jury consisting of promi- Alison Richard and the founder of the will be dedicated to the advancement the Jewish Chaplain, claiming that nent researchers from a range of aca- Gatsby Foundation, Lord Sainsbury, of curiosity-driven research. However some people had dressed up in stere- demic elds. attended a groundbreaking ceremony. it is hard to imagine that increasing our otypical Jewish costume. e chaplain e Cambridge scientist, who spe- pact such awards can have on promoting Construction on the site has now be- knowledge of the fundamental mecha- said “I am disappointed in students cialises in so matter physics, was rec- female researchers. She has also drawn gun and is due for completion in late nisms of plant development is not going of this intellectual calibre.” e team ognised by the jury following her suc- attention to the dilemmas young female 2010. to have a very signi cant impact on the captain denies that anyone dressed cess in academia and as a promoter of scientists face when trying to combine e new Sainsbury Laboratory will improvement of agriculture in years to o ensively and defended the original science. A spokesperson for L’Oréal told research with motherhood and family o er state-of-the-art facilities for the c om e .” plan, saying, “I can understand why Varsity, “Athene’s award is testament to life. She told Varsity, “ ese prizes are a study of plant development. e site Dr Richard thanked the Gatsby Char- it might have o ended some people the outstanding contribution she has good opportunity to showcase the diver- will also house informal meeting plac- itable Foundation, saying: “Cambridge but it would have been an awesome made to science. At L’Oréal, we were also sity and success women can bring to the es, a cafe, and informal study areas. e has a strong record in the study of plant social.” Another player added that the struck by how she inspires young female eld of science”. laboratory is also speci cally designed biology - a science which is now accept- theme was “fairly good banter” but scientists to combine work with family Professor Donald is currently work- to t well with and complement its sur- ed as critical for our planet. is makes conceded that it was “not in touch life and reach the highest echelons of ing on an interdisciplinary project as the roundings. e University said that the the Gatsby Foundation’s gi to the Uni- with moral values of society”. science”. Director of the New Physics of Medicine new development will be “experienced versity both natural and transformation- Prof. Donald herself stresses the im- initiative at the University. as a series of landscaped spaces... every al - we are truly grateful.” Varsity100 Nominations are now open for the 2009 Varsity100. An online nomination form is available at varsity.co.uk/100

e Varsity100 is published at the start of every calendar year and aims to list the 100 most talented students at the university. e list is inevitably subjective. However, you can help make it as objective as possible by nominating as many appropriate undergraduates or graduates as you know.

e Varsity Wealth Survey 2008 Varsity is conducting a survey into the distribution of wealth amongst Cambridge students. Who’s been sponging o their parents? Who’s got more bang than buck? Help us nd out all this – and more – by answering a very short online questionnaire here: www.varsity.co.uk/wealth Ten lucky entrants will win a bottle of wine. Chief News Editors: Hugo Gye and Michael Stothard Friday November 21 2008 8 News [email protected] varsity.co.uk obituary Varsity100 Gerard Duveen, 1951-2008 Nominations are now open for the 2009 Varsity100. An »Fellow of Corpus Christi and leading social psychologist online nomination form is available at varsity.co.uk/100

n a warm July afternoon, a large gath- with Barbara Lloyd, and their very success- – he was as much at home in the academic Oering filled a garden at Corpus Christi ful and productive research collaboration corridors of Paris as of Cambridge. The Varsity100 is published at the start of every College in Cambridge. However, this was produced a string of papers as well as two A quiet and totally unassuming person, not one of the usual College social occa- influential books, Gender Identities and Gerard did not draw attention to himself or calendar year and aims to list the 100 most sions but the ‘living funeral’ of the College Education (1992) and the edited volume, his own work. Academic promotion came talented students at the university. The list is Vice-Master. Following the diagnosis of an Social Representation and Development of late and he was appointed to a University untreatable cancer, Gerard Duveen held a Knowledge (1998). Readership in 2004. His great strength, and inevitably subjective. However, you can help make party. An open invitation was circulated. In 1989, Gerard was appointed to a lec- indeed influence, was in the more personal Friends, family and academic colleagues tureship in the Department of Education context of post-graduate teaching and re- it as objective as possible by nominating as many came from far and wide to celebrate Gerard in Cambridge and four years later the post search supervision. appropriate undergraduates or graduates as you and to make their farewells. It is an old cli- was transferred to the Faculty of Social and Gerard did his share of administrative ché that the principal actor is typically ab- Political Sciences, where he remained until work, including a stint as Head of Depart- know. sent at a funeral or memorial, but not so for his death. He was a Director of Studies and ment of Social and Developmental Psy- Gerard, a psychologist of everyday life, who later Vice-Master of Corpus Christi Col- chology, but his real passion was graduate created this unusual social occasion for us lege. teaching. He set up and initially did much to say our farewells to him. In Cambridge, Gerard continued to of the teaching for the MPhil in Social and Gerard was a leading figure in social psy- work on the development of social rep- Developmental Psychology, and always chology who made major contributions to resentation, particularly focusing on the had a very active group of PhD students. our understanding of cultural knowledge – relationship between representation and Some colleagues viewed Gerard as an social representations – and the role of such identities. In many ways, Gerard’s thinking academic administrator of the old school, knowledge in the development of personal and teaching were much more part of the characterised by quiet diplomacy rather identity. He was a notable and influential continental tradition than of mainstream than bureaucratic efficiency! He did come teacher, especially of graduate students and, Anglo-American psychology. His twin to use e-mail but only when it suited him indeed, many of his past students came intellectual father figures were Jean Piaget and was always very selective in responding to that farewell gathering to express their and Serge Moscovici. Indeed, his chapter to incoming messages. Many were ignored! gratitude to Gerard for his teaching and for the Mélange en l’honneur de Serge Mo- Gerard’s office and college rooms were no- wise counsel. scovici was titled ‘Genesis and Structure: torious for piles of paper that covered all Following a joint Philosophy and Psy- Piaget and Moscovici’. Gerard played an horizontal surfaces. chology degree at Surrey (1974), Gerard important role in bringing work from the Gerard could seem rather distant and did an MSc in Rudolf Schaffer’s Depart- French school to the attention of English reserved on occasion, but his friends and ment of Psychology at Strathclyde, before speaking audiences and was responsible for the students knew a warm and generous doing his PhD at Sussex. His thesis title, a number of translations, especially of Mo- person, not least with his broad knowledge ‘From social cognition to cognition of so- scovici’s work. In addition to membership of psychology. He could also be startlingly cial life: An essay in decentration’, focused of the editorial boards of a clutch of English open and direct about the most difficult of on the topic that remained central through- language journals, he served both Psycholo- topics, as he was in talking of his own illness out his career. After some short-term teach- gie et Société and Rassenga di Pisicologia. and its inevitable consequence. He will long ing and research posts, Gerard returned A multi-linguist who published in French, be remembered and missed. to Sussex as a Research Fellow associated Spanish and Portuguese – as well as English Martin Richards & Michael Lamb Varsity Profile »Week 7: Lord Wilson of Dinton, Master of Emmanuel

e may have been Secretary to more participated in the formation of the Na- War Cabinets than anyone in his- tional Curriculum. tory.H He may have led Thatcher’s Eco- As Permanent Secretary of the De- nomic Secretariat for three years, and he partment of the Environment, he was may have been Head of the Home Civil in charge of a committee co-ordinating 36 Service during the 9/11 attacks. But after the first government efforts to meet the Years in the Civil Service thirty-six years as a civil servant, Lord problem of climate change. “Though Wilson of Dinton’s career surely reached faced with public scepticism and doubts its apotheosis in 2002, when he was ap- in government as to whether it was a real pointed Master of Emmanuel. He was problem, Mrs Thatcher was the first poli- re-elected earlier this year for a historic tician in the world to recognise the im- second term. portance of global warming - though it’s After graduating from Clare in Law, certainly not part of her image.” 4¾ Richard Wilson joined the Civil Service In 1994, he became Permanent Un- Years as Cabinet Secretary in 1966 and worked in a plethora of dif- der-Secretary of the Home Office under ferent government departments. When Michael Howard, and then Tony Blair’s posted to the Department of Trade and Cabinet Secretary and Head of the Home Industry in October 1973, he was expect- Civil Service in 1998, before retiring from ing to deal with long-term planning of government in 2002. His most memorable energy policy. “It was a stable world, and moment? No hesitation: 9/11. “I was mak- oil was cheap. But the weekend before I ing my way through the list of people we started, the Arab-Israeli war broke out, needed to alert – the Palace, the police, air 6 which led to price of oil quadrupling, traffic control – taking action to protect Years as Master of Emmanuel – and the three-day week, and the fall of the London. All whilst watching everything counting Heath government. I found myself writ- unfold in the States on television, and ing ‘There is no energy crisis’ in speeches looking out of the window, wondering if a I was composing by candlelight.” plane was about to come down the Mall.” During his twelve years in the Depart- Being Master of Emmanuel is, he as- ment of Energy, he worked on the con- sures, “a great privilege”, and a lot less troversial development of nuclear power stress. “When my secretary tells me we’ve 50,000 with Tony Benn, and conducted the pri- got an awful problem, I’m thrown back to vatisation of Britoil, which “made [his] my days in government, when an emer- Approximate number of people under him in the Home Office name in government”. gency sometimes meant a terrorist attack. Heading the Economic Secretariat in When she reveals that ‘The ducks have Thatcher’s Cabinet Office from 1987 to got into the road’, I cannot tell you what 1990 was, he recalls, “the most extraor- a joy it is. This is a lovely place, and the dinary time”: he was closely involved things being done here are things I sup- in implementing the poll tax, “trying to port: research, learning, and education.” make that impossible policy work”, and Moya Sarner Friday November 21 2008 Got a news story? varsity.co.uk 01223 761543 / [email protected] News 9

University to give new staff £250,000 for housing Cambridge Cædmon Tunstall-Behrens & Hugo Gye price of living in Cambridge. Originally, a sity spokesman, and the house purchased The announcement follows news that maximum of £150,000 was available, but must be within twenty miles of Great St Cambridge is home to the most expen- Spies Varsity News this will rise from January 1, to reflect the Mary’s church. So far, twelve members of sive street in the East of England. Brook- city’s rising house prices. staff have used the scheme. lands Avenue, near the railway station, The University is set to hand out £250,000 The shared-equity agreement involves Indi Seehra, director of human re- has average house prices of £940,714, to help new staff buy houses. The payment sharing the cost of a new house between sources, said, “Although house prices are according to a Halifax survey taken from is part of shared-equity scheme designed staff and the University, with the staff not going up by as much now, there was Land Registry information. to attract top-quality lecturers. paying a subsidised interest rate on the a long period in which they did increase, The street is home to the Accordia The scheme, whereby the University University’s share of the house. The em- and the attraction of the scheme became housing estate, which won the Stirling buys up to fifty per cent of the value of ployee can gradually increase their stake eroded very quickly.” She added that Prize for architecture last month. Howev- a house for incoming academic staff, was in the house thereafter. “Cambridge has become like part of the er, Savills’ estate agent has queried Hali- launched in 2002 to ensure that potential Only “relatively senior staff” can quali- London commuter belt now, it’s relatively fax’s findings, claiming that Latham Road new recruits would not be put off by the fy for the scheme, according to a Univer- difficult to buy a property here.” and Chaucer Road are worth more.

Trinity Naked Brunch

A Byronic hero, well used to wak- ing up to see underdressed sleeping beauties after a night of merriment, was particularly shocked this week when the beauty in question was of questionable gender. Although a woman’s coat lay next to the una- dorned as he slept in the living room, he was most certainly a he. Some choice questions soon revealed that the beauty had returned the previous night with a lady who, too coy to do the bad thing in her own good room, decided to use our hero’s living room instead. For some enigmatic reason she left him there during the night, but did not leave his clothes. Maybe this kleptomaniac seducer keeps me- mentoes of her victims, or maybe it was punishment for the discrep- ancy between his passion and his performance. Never one to judge the misdemeanours of others, our protagonist dressed the still-drunk intruder in some old rags and sent him on his way.

Nightlife Having a barf If you’re one of the handful of graduates who A dancefloor regular at Cambridge’s join Bristows each year, you’ll be exposed to finest, this idiosyncratic mover top tier work right from the start. You’ll also be was working his usual high octane surrounded by some of the most respected magic, limbs a-flailing and hearts a-wooing. After settling upon his lawyers in their elds. This is a rm where you’ll target for the night, he led her to the learn fast and be stretched, but you’ll also get corner of the room. Sweet nothings plenty of support and encouragement along the effused from his rosebud lips, before a little effusion of vile something way. There’s no over-hiring of trainees, either. ran from his lips onto her back. Un- We’re particularly proud of the fact that so able to stem the tide, the whole of his consumption from that evening many of the lawyers who trained with us have poured onto the poor lady’s dress. gone on to become partners. Unsurprisingly scarred, she ran away, ran very far away. We would like to invite you to come along to our Career Presentation and Drinks Emmanuel Reception to learn more about the training All on show offered at Bristows. The Presentation and Drinks will be held in the Darwin Room at The College’s venerable drinking society was enjoying a challeng- The Pitt Building on Monday 24 November ing evening with the ladies of lei- at 6.00pm until 9.00pm. sure from a nearby college. One particular challenge was for the two societies to swap clothes before making their way to the bar. The merry transvestites who had adopted dresses were made to do so in a Scottish fashion. Conse- quently, whenever legs did cross or breezes did blow, much was on display to the roaring approval of those present. Edit this paper (or sections herein)

Applications are invited to edit and section edit Varsity in Lent 2009. Application forms are available for download from varsity.co.uk/jobs

e deadline for editorial applications is today. e deadline for section editor applications is this coming Wednesday Nov 26.

Any student is encouraged to apply. No experience is necessary. If you have any questions, please email the current editor, Patrick Kingsley, on [email protected].

Positions include News Editor, Comment Editor, Features Editor, Arts Editor, Reviews Editor, Sport Editor, Fashion Editor, Science Correspondent, eatre Critic, Music Critic, Classical Critic, Film Critic,Visual Arts Critic, Literary Critic, Food Critic, Photographer, Illustrator

Varsity100 Nominations are now open for the 2009 Varsity100. An online The University of Hong Kong nomination form is available at varsity.co.uk/100

A world-class international e Varsity100 is published at the start of every calendar year and aims to list the 100 most talented students at the journalism degree university. e list is inevitably subjective. However, you can help make it as objective as possible by nominating as many – in the heart of Asia appropriate undergraduates or graduates as you know. Why a Master of Journalism degree at The University of Hong Kong? • Asia's premier journalism school – situated in Hong Kong, a vibrant hub for global media • English-language programme that focuses on China, Asia and the world – attracting a dynamic mix of international students • On-the-job training while still in school with media internships across Asia • Highly sought-after graduates who have launched careers at Bloomberg, CNN, International Herald Tribune, The Wall Street Journal Asia, Reuters, among others • Renowned faculty of experienced journalists • Training in advanced skills of today's convergent journalism from Asian and global perspectives • Opportunities to cover some of the world's biggest news stories

"The faculty gave me the encouragement, skills and resources to land my dream job." Sky Canaves, Lead Writer, China Journal, Wall Street Journal Asia, MJ 2007

Ideal for aspiring journalists who want an international career and a chance to make a difference, the Master of Journalism (MJ) programme is accepting applications now for 2009/2010. For more information and details on how to apply, contact the Journalism and Media Studies Centre by email at [email protected] or visit http://jmsc.hku.hk/mj09_admissions Deadline for first-round admissions is 31 January 2009. Early applications are encouraged as enrollment is limited. Friday November 21 2008 varsity.co.uk

MAGAZINEFEATURES, INTERVIEWS, REVIEWS & LISTINGS // ART, FILM, MUSIC, BOOKS, FASHION & SCIENCE THIS WEEK IN THE MAGAZINE: AN INTRODUCTION TO CAMBRIDGE EVENSONG / PINGU LEPERS / PUBLIC ENEMY / NEW HALL ART COLLECTION / WHITE WINE / POEMS OF THE WEEK

JANE HALL Hi! Society

Week 7: e Forum

s Generation Y, we have been labelled apathetic and ignorant atA best, cynical at worst. But this will do little to avert the worst of climate change or build a dependable economic system. To gain a practical grasp of the challenges facing us and how to confront them in our own lives, we have opened e Forum. We start from zero, providing a space for asking “silly questions” and voicing tentative ideas. is is a chance to evaluate viewpoints from across the political spectrum and pragmatically nd out “what works” and “what I can do”. We focus on one social challenge for a whole term. is term we are Agony Uncle examining whether consumers have political clout through “Voting With AN EXPERT ON ETHICS AND THE ENVIRONMENT, LEO HICKMAN COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR BEING GLOOMY. YET, Your Shopping Trolley”. In Lent, we explore the potential of political de- AFTER DISCUSSING BACKPACKERS AND PREACHING, HE GIVES MIKE KIELTY REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL centralisation and self-government y the standards of any journal- and laid-back gure. He o ers me the When it comes to student travel- so much more needs to be done. Yet “Beyond the Ballot Box”. We dissect ist, Leo Hickman has to deal with room’s only chair, lies back on the bed lers, Leo is a sympathetic listener. He looking at patterns of human behaviour each theme in three di erent kinds Bparticularly sobering subject matter. and chats happily about the unusual describes a gap year that he spent back- in the past has also provided him with of events: speaker discussions As a writer on environmental and ethi- amount of cycling that goes on in packing around Australia, Indonesia grounds for optimism in the future: ( e Living Room), a lm ( e cal issues for e Guardian, his remit Cambridge. It’s di cult to imagine and India as “probably the best memory “ ere are examples in history where Big Picture), and a career discus- covers the threat of climate change, anyone less likely to preach a depress- of my life other than my kids being we’ve blown it as a civilization, but there sion ( e Rat Race). In the spirit the decline of eco-systems worldwide ing sermon. Indeed he chuckles at born”. Yet he’s also careful to emphasise also many examples when we’ve taken it of a forum, each event is uniquely and the damaging e ects of interna- the idea that he might be considered that student backpackers who go o - right to the brink but realised in time.” created by its participants. For our tional travelling. As if contemplating the supreme gure of authority on the-beaten-track must be wary of the Over the centuries, many dangerous lm events, everyone is invited to those issues was not enough, he also environmental and ethical issues: “I impact they can have on remote com- forces that have threatened the survival bring along lm extracts or YouTube produces a regular ‘Ask Leo’ column rarely come down and say ‘this is my munities and environments: “You’re of human societies (he gives Hitler’s Na- clips relevant to the current theme, on the newspaper’s website, in which command’, like Moses.” taking your Western ideals, your zism as one example) have been isolated which we show before a main lm. he plays the role of Agony Uncle for e Final Call is an investigation Western habits, your Western think- and eradicated for the greater good. Leo Discussions are there for us to share anyone who wants advice on how to into the impact of di erent kinds of ing and pushing them on to the forests holds on to the hope that this will also our ideas and ask questions that live a more eco-friendly or ‘ethical’ holiday around the world, including of Borneo, the hill tribes of Burma or be the case with climate change. matter to us. Career events, with a existence. Have a look at some of his skiing in Chamonix, backpacking in wherever you’re visiting.” What’s more, Our interview over, Leo leaves the professional in the eld currently recent columns and you’ll nd that ailand and voyages on cruise ships as budget travellers “it’s not as if you’re room on his way to talk to another set under examination, o er a chance his readers have asked him questions in the Caribbean. Leo stresses that “the showering economic bounty on to all of students about the environmental to exchange internship advice and to ranging from “Is there a way to convert book was written with a view to me these places you’re visiting”. Eco-friend- crises that our society is “sleepwalking” inform our own career choices. All energy from our rowing machine being silent”, with the emphasis placed ly, ethical backpacking is possible, but towards. It’s not irrelevant that his audi- this takes place over wine and juice, into electricity?” to “Is it ok to feed on the responses to tourism from lo- it’s still “a di cult balance to pull o ”. ence for the evening’s talk will be made in a relaxed atmosphere in which pigeons?” All in all, he has a fairly cal people in these destinations. I put You get the sense that beneath the up of students, for he would like them everyone can feel comfortable taking demanding job description. it to him that his work must require relaxed pose, Leo has a passionate to play a much greater role in raising part. Finally, to make our insights With all the doom-laden news that something of a balancing act between desire to force through changes that awareness: “Students should undeniably last, speaker talks are audio recorded he deals with everyday, you might providing warnings or advice and would solve the problems that he writes protest more.” Yet despite the gravity and discussions are summarised in expect Leo Hickman to be thoroughly at the same time not alienating his about. “We’ve got to rst base” when and sombreness of his subject matter, I writing and made available online. stressed out. Yet, when I meet Leo reader. His technique, he replies, is not it comes to global warming, he says: can’t help feeling optimistic at the end Join Generation Y as it ghts back. ahead of a talk that he is giving at the to preach but to dissect the problem “it has become a big talking point” for of our conversation. If Leo Hickman Forum (see right) on his latest book, at hand and to present people with a politicians, the media and the general can nd grounds for hope a er his www.srcf.ucam.org/ sc e Final Call: In Search of the True variety of solutions: “You don’t get very public. ere’s an obvious frustration in average day at the o ce, then surely the Cost of Our Holidays, he cuts a relaxed far if you come across as the lecturer.” his voice as he says this; he knows that rest of us can too. Laurence Doering

DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS HERE): Welcome to the adventure story. “What did you do in your lab session today?” isn’t something you normally ask your science chum Colin. So he always has to ask you something like “hey man, guess what I did in my lab session today?” And then you say: p12 “I don’t know, Colin, what did you do in your lab session?” p13 “Shut the fuck up Colin and stop going on about your fucking lab session I don’t give a shit.” Magazine Editor: Daniel Cohen; Arts Editor: Anna Trench; Features Editor: Rob Peal Friday November 21 2008 12 Magazine: Arts and Features [email protected] varsity.co.uk

Peal’s Meals Week 7: Student Guide to White Wine

he great majority of us have not yet had the years or the inclina- Ttion to develop a nuanced pallet when it comes to wine. However, baring in mind the student habit of gulping down the cheapest white wine in a urry of copper, this should not be a problem. Instead, considering our super cial age where the associations of a product mean more than its innate quality, I encourage you to bow to the prevailing wind and ask “what does your choice of wine say about you?”

Jacob’s Creek, Semillon Chardonnay is is the margarita of wines; an open and blunt admission that you are completely devoid of personal- ity. It is about as sexy and surprising as an early morning supervision. Must try harder. £5.99 from Sainsbury’s, 11.7% vol.

Sainsbury’s Soave, Murari e cheeky billing of this budget wine shows a de nite sense of humour on behalf of the purchaser. Sainsbury’s house white claims to be a crisp, dry Italian wine and in its own thri y and tasteless way is ever so suave. £2.96 from Sainsbury’s, 11% vol.

Chilford Hundred, Dry White Wine “What would you like; red or white… or Green?” Cambridge- shire’s very own, locally grown white wine shows that you think global, but buy local. If you want something totally cosmic, try Nor- folk’s Fayre-trade Pink Grapefruit wine. £7.45 from Origin8, 12% vol.

Jean Marc Brocard, Chablis Vieilles Vignes If you are sickeningly ash and an unscrupulous seducer, then this dry white wine from the Burgundy region of France should be your The Rhythm, the Rebel weapon of choice. It’s not the size of your wallet, it’s how you use it that WITH THEIR POLITICAL LYRICS AND RADICAL PRODUCTION, PUBLIC ENEMY HELPED CHANGE HIP HOP. ON THE TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF THE RELEASE OF THEIR CLASSIC ALBUM IT TAKES A NATION OF MILLIONS TO counts. £15.99 from Cam- HOLD US BACK, FRONTMAN CHUCK D TALKS TO DANIEL COHEN bridge Wine Mer- chants, 13% vol. n Public Enemy’s classic albums, I was hoping to hear about his reac- album is “more stop-and-go, like a because we knew that nobody else was they were indefatigable. Flava tions to Cambridge, but he never got rock band. But we can handle that”. doing it. We operated from a stand- Maipo, Sauvignon Flav,O in his role as court jester, was hip further into town than the generic His strategy is simple: “You just go up point, whether it was the Bomb Squad Blanc Reserva hop’s greatest hype man, delivering leisure centre that hosts the Junction. there, kick ass, and play.” production or whether it was Public is is the savvy an endless stream of surreal encour- e concert was part of the Don’t Look It Takes a Nation of Millions... wasn’t Enemy in performance, that there were shopper’s choice. If agement. Samples were warped by Back concert series, in which artists one of the biggest-selling rap albums a lot of things that were yet to be done there is a £6.99 bot- their producers, the Bomb Squad, play their classic albums in full, and of its time, but, more than any other, it in rap music, so we set out to do those tle available at half into squawking anti-melodies, and in order. Twenty years a er the release helped the genre to establish a degree things.” A crucial element of its success price, then what self repeated relentlessly, backed by what of It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold were Chuck’s politically conscious lyr- respecting student sounded like a funk-trained marching Us Back, a de ning album in hip hop “YOU JUST GO UP THERE, ics, which complemented the group’s would refuse? Dry, band. Looming above all of this was history, they were giving it the Don’t militant aesthetic. It was rap’s rst crisp and hailing Chuck D, whose prophetic, righteous Look Back treatment. Although there KICK ASS, AND PLAY” attempt at a state-of-the-nation record: from the Maipo fury knew no limits. is undeniable appeal in hearing a “We wanted to make a What’s Going valley in Chile, it When he came to Cambridge earlier classic album live, such an approach of artistic credibility. It was the rst On of rap, and make a global state- doesn’t taste that in the year, however, Chuck was tired. undermines the unpredictability of to top the annual Village Voice Pazz ment.” bad either. e group had played a “crazy” concert the concert experience. Chuck seemed and Jop poll, which is compiled from When I rst got the album as a £3.49 from in Brixton the night before, and he was to accept this – as well as describing the lists of hundreds of critics. e teenager, I found It Takes a Nation Sainsbury’s, still feeling the e ects; later that night, the tour as a “promoter’s dream” and a NME once ranked it #9 on a list of of Millions... di cult to digest. is 12.5% vol. near the end of the concert, he took “fanatic’s fantasy”, he admitted that, for the greatest albums of all time, and it testi es to its endurance: twenty years Rob Peal advantage of a break to sit on a chair. the group, it was an “artistic challenge”. is regularly held up as the nest rap on, a song like ‘Rebel Without A Pause’ He spoke in the kind of deep voice that Whereas a rap show in the “classic album ever. is reception didn’t take sounds as abrasive as ever. Chuck in- commands attention, but he seemed standard mode” consists of “medley, the group by surprise: “Our expecta- sists that the album’s message remains distracted, and kept his answers short. chop-up, turntable”, performing a full tions in 1988 were precisely just that, deeply relevant: “Twenty years is a long DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): “Oh I only created a real-life dinosaur!” says Colin. “Yes, we were watching Jurassic Park, and there’s actually a cartoon in the lm which tells you exactly how to recreate a dinosaur for yourself!” Colin takes you straight to the lab. p14 ere’s a T-Rex! p15 ere isn’t a T-Rex! Friday November 21 2008 Write for the Magazine varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Arts and Features 13

Time In robert Do wn s robert Week 7: Pingu

intage Pingu episodes, before they were digitalized, were pure,V plasticine class. Here are some of our mumbling penguin’s finest adventures. Pingu Goes Fishing, youtube.com. Pingu’s fishing trip is disturbed by an altercation with a boisterous seal. Pingu learns ann important lesson about restraint and friend- ship. Pingu Gets Drunk, youtube.com. Pingu goes to a bar, he drinks too much, he excretes very yellow, plasticine urine everywhere. Naughty Pingu. Pinga Is Born, youtube.com. Literally minutes of anticipation lead up to the birth of Pingu’s delightfully cute sibling, Pinga. Pingu has to learn to share centre stage. Pingu And The Band, youtube.com. Pingu and little Pinga start hitting household (igloo-hold) items with spoons, much to the annoyance of their parents, until they channel these noise making volitions into the making of hot tunes. Time Out Week 7: The Leper Chapel

lso known as the Chapel of St Mary Magdalene, the Leper ChapelA is the oldest building in Cambridge. Half the fun of a trip there is trying to find it; it has a particularly inauspicious location for such a historic building – it is in a dip off the side of the New- market Road after you cross the railway line in east Cambridge. It dates from 1125 during the reign of Henry I and was built on the outskirts of town on the road to Bury St Edmunds. On the side of the Chapel, you can still see a peep- ing hole designed to let the lepers watch the service from outside. It was this humble chapel that was the birth of the Stourbridge The Rhythm, the Rebel fair, an annual trade fair which gave Cambridge its national importance With their political lyrics and radical production, public enemy helped change hip hop. on the twentieth anniversary of the release of their classic album it takes a nation of millions to years before the University had , frontman chuck d talks to daniel cohen become established. King John gave hold us back the chapel royal dispensation to hold a three-day fair each year on time in the music business, but twenty than that of the group’s other rapper – risms such as “artists are freer than Stourbridge Common by the Cam years in life is not. So a lot of those as he points out, “Soulja Boy looks like they’ve ever been if they recognize in order to raise money for the lep- Know Your Enemy things that we spoke out about that the son of Flava Flav”, whose influence what freedom is”. ers. This grew into one of the largest were relevant have increased.” As for can also be seen with Lil Wayne, rap’s He is also an example of how rap medieval fairs in Europe, and far 1986 Sign to Def Jam Records whether life in America has changed current superstar. artists from the older generation are outlived the Chapel which stopped 1987 Release of debut album Yo! for its black population, he points to a Perhaps his caution is rooted in the struggling to find their place. The genre admitting new lepers in 1279 and depressing statistic: there were 100,000 excitement he feels about rap’s global is so new that there’s no established Bum Rush the Show held its last religious service in black men in prison in 1970, whereas ascendancy: having once described it career path to follow, and it moves so 1751. From then it was generally 1988 It Takes a Nation of “now you have 1.6 million”. as the “Black CNN”, he sees it today quickly that it’s impossible to stay at the used to store the stalls each year Millions to Hold Us Back is He is frustratingly evasive, how- as “a worldwide cultural, religious cutting edge; Chuck’s repeated internet for the next fair. In the eighteenth released ever, over the issue of whether rap has experience for those forty and under”. references suggest a strong desire to century it became a temporary pub become depoliticized. No mainstream Indeed, Chuck is one of the best ex- regain relevance. PE have continued to during the festivities and in 1783 it 2000 Chuck D testifies before rapper is trying to make a What’s amples of how hip hop has entered the release albums: their latest, How You Congress was advertised for sale as a storage Going On for this decade, and, aside establishment. He often gives lectures, Sell Soul to a Soulless People Who Sold shed. 2004 Ranked #44 on Rolling Stone’s from The Roots, Chuck doesn’t having recently spoken at the South- Their Soul?, was well received, but it However, the chapel’s historical list of the 100 Greatest Artists identify anyone whom he considers bank Centre, and this year contributed made little impact. They attract more importance was thankfully recog- of All Time to be his successors. He points to “all to a book published by MIT Press. attention as a touring band and they nised. In 1816 it was bought and those other things that’s happening Most strikingly, in 2000 he testified seem to have borrowed their model resorted by Thomas Kerrich who 2007 Release of How You Sell on MySpace pages, on iLike pages, before Congress on file sharing, pro- from rock: their plan for the future is Soul to a Soulless People gave it to the University who subse- on YouTube” (he makes references to moting his belief that “everyone should “to make Public Enemy the Rolling quently handed it to the Cambridge Who Sold Their Soul?, their these sites throughout the interview, get a sample before they actually get Stones of the rap game”. But as long as Preservation Society. They maintain tenth album and even during the concert). Yet his the meal”. He has become an authority, people have reason to fight the power, it for use to this day. legacy is less visible in today’s hip hop and speaks like one, uttering apho- they’ll keep turning to Mistachuck. dinosaur Adventure (starts on page 11): Colin looks at you for a few moments, and turns away, wiping away a tear that was just about to trickle down his cheeks. The cheeks on his face. ‘You didn’t have to say that,’ he says as he walks away. You never find out what he did in the lab session, but then again you didn’t want to so who cares? Magazine Editor: Daniel Cohen; Arts Editor: Anna Trench; Features Editor: Rob Peal Friday November 21 2008 14 Magazine: Arts and Features [email protected] varsity.co.uk

ANNA TRENCH Cambridge Evensong

Evensong, which arrived in its current form in the 1662 Book of Common Prayer, is an Anglican service which usually takes place in the late a ernoon or early evening. e service combines some of the most nely-cra ed words in the English language with, particularly in Cambridge, the most sumptuous music. Prayer and re ection go hand in hand with the choral interjections, but even if this isn’t your cup of tea, Evensong provides a wonderful way to relax and take stock for an hour or so, surrounded by some of the most stimulating architecture in Cambridge. Services vary from College to College, but most will have one on Sundays. We all know about King’s, John’s, Trinity. ey have frequent Evensongs, and their ranks are sta ed by some of the country’s best choristers: the carol service of King’s is quite the institution, beamed out to millions of people worldwide. But this is just the gleaming surface of Cambridge choral life. Hundreds of students sing in Evensong at least once a week, in chapels as diverse as the sublimely enchanting space of Jesus and the puritan simplicity of Emmanuel. Emma Mustich, David Allen and Toby Chadd investigate the distinctive features of these lesser-known College Evensongs.

SAMUEL PALIN Christ’s he wide, boxy Chapel at Christ’s in English Renaissance polyphony. Sunday 6 pm might not be as magisterial as its e Evensong service itself, held by Eucharist: Sunday 9 am Tcounterpart at King’s, but it has its candlelight, is conducted with grace Advent service: Sunday November 30, own quiet grace, born of the static and accompanied by useful and truly 6 pm peace of its openness and calm sym- enlightening notes, in the service pro- metry. e choir, which regularly gramme, about the history and mean- Director of Music performs secular works (and has sung ing of the service’s various customs. Professor David Rowland in past years at secular venues, such as e sermons preached on Sunday will Professor Rowland has been Director the Tate in London, as well as in reli- likely be of interest even to those who of Music at Christ’s for over twenty gious settings) is not afraid to choose are not particularly devout – this term years. He has published several books new or ambitious works that o en, their theme was the life and spiritual- on the Italian composer Muzio Clem- as it advertises on its website, “have ity of John Milton. EM enti, and he performs (on the early not yet been [performed liturgically] piano and the harpsichord, as well as in the UK”. But they’ve certainly got Sung Compline: Tuesday 10.00 pm the organ) throughout the country on more strings to their bow, excelling Choral Evensong: ursday 6.45 pm; a regular basis. LIZZIE ROBINSON Gonville and Caius

aius Chapel is remarkable in e Chapel is invariably well-at- several ways: dating from 1393 tended, and overall Caius provides a Cit contains several oddities – most unique and satisfying evensong. TC strikingly the raised tomb (pictured). And whereas College Chapels are Choral Evensong - Tuesdays 6.30 pm o en tucked away in a corner, Caius and Sundays 6pm Chapel lies at the heart of the college Choral Eucharist - ursdays at 6.30 in more than a metaphorical sense: pm you have to go past the door to get to Advent Services on Wednesday 3rd Hall or the Bar. is makes the peace and ursday 4th November of the chapel all the more reassuring. e choir is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the best in Cambridge. Under Director of Music Dr Geo rey Webber the ensemble is Dr Geo rey Webber spot on and the choir unfailingly provide a satisfying core of tone which Dr Webber is known primarily as an is in ected by subtle and poignant organist, having started his career direction. eir recording catalogue as an Organ Scholar at New Col- reveals an eclectic repertoire, special- lege Oxford before being appointed, ising in neglected works by greater in 1984, to the post of University composers: their recording of the Organist and Director of Music at Bärenreiter edition of Bach’s St Mark the University Church. He became Passion, with music by Reinhardt Precentor and Director of Music at Gonville and Caius Keiser, proved a particular success. Caius in 1989. Christ’s

DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): “ at doesn’t look like a dinosaur,” you complain. “In fact, he doesn’t look reptilian at all. He’d make a terrible lizard.” Colin explains that dinosaur is actually Greek for “terrible lizard”, so he is a dinosaur. Except that he isn’t. “You’re looking at the cat,” says Colin. “ e dinosaur’s over there.” p16 So it is p15 Er, no Colin, it isn’t. Friday November 21 2008 Write for the Magazine varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Arts and Features 15

TOM MORIARTY LIZZIE ROBINSON Queens’

lthough an observer could easily mistake Queens’ mock-Gothic AChapel for a late medieval specimen, the building was in fact designed by G.F. Bodley in the late nineteenth century. Its highly decorated interior, which features a remarkable painted ceiling and stunning reredos (complete with late medieval triptych), is duly complemented by its excellent choir and singularly friendly chapel wardens (who are quick to point out to visitors that the cushioned seats against the Chapel walls, o en reserved, in other Colleges, for fellows or special guests, are the most comfortable). e service itself is notable for the personal air with which it is conducted by the venerable Chaplain, his wit always in evidence. e choir performs music by a very wide range of composers, and has recorded works that run the gamut from Britten’s ‘Flower Songs’ to the Negro Spiritu- Selwyn als of Michael Tippett. e choir is rather unique in being directed purely by the organ scholars, and whilst this is a huge gamble that rarely pays o , Selwyn the result here is a musically vibrant ensemble. e quality of the music elwyn Chapel Choir is unique British composers such as John Mc- of the chapel itself, whilst the high, performed, and the comfortable in that it is directed by the rst Cabe and Judith Bingham. vaulted, beamed wood ceiling gives a atmosphere of the chapel, make this Swoman ever to have held such a post. MacDonald and her choir sing in bit of air to the ambience. at said, service highly conducive to the sort of Sarah MacDonald came to Cam- one of the more eclectically charming Selwyn Chapel is a very intimate contemplation and worship that are bridge from her native Canada in chapels in Cambridge. Dominated space. DA themselves always the most potent 1992, as Organ Scholar at Robinson, by the magni cent 2004 Létourneau elements of a truly a ecting Evensong. and took her current post in 1999. organ under which you enter, the Evensongs: Tuesday and ursdays EM She conducts a choir of up to 28, chapel exhibits a number of styles: at 6.30pm, Sunday (with sermon) taken mostly from Selwyn itself and the altar is backed by a wall of white at 6pm. Service Times: Weds 6.30pm, Sun- Newnham. e sound is dominated stone, in contrast to the exposed red Eucharist: Occasionally on ursdays 5.45pm by the sopranos. eir repertoire is brick of the rest of the chapel. e days (in lieu of evensong). Advent Services: 6pm Sunday No- remarkably varied, stretching back extravagant light wood panelling Carol services: ursday December vember 30 beyond Byrd and Tallis, but also that lls the gap between organ and 4 at 6.45pm, Sunday 7 at 6pm. No Compline at the moment: plans including the premieres of works by altar echoes the external end-on view to start next term. Queens’

TOM MORIARTY Sidney Sussex

sk someone about Sidney Sussex King’s. And this really isn’t a thinly- Chapel and they’d most likely tell veiled insult: you have to hear it to youA about Cromwell’s head, which believe it. TC was buried in the ante-chapel. But the boast of Sidney now lies in wait for Weekly Evensong: Friday at 6.45pm, those who venture further into the Sunday at 6.15pm chapel, in the form of a top-notch choir Advent Service: Sunday 30, 6.15pm and vibrant community. at the two are linked was demonstrated at the Remembrance Service, when the choir Director of Music: Dr David Skinner were at their agile best in a rendition David Skinner is an expert in the of parts of ‘Howells’ Requiem’, and academics and performance of early provided a poignant focus for the choral music; he’s worked with pretty chapel’s worship. Don’t expect the choir much any choral group of note you’d to sound as you’d expect: their raw care to name; and he’s a co-founder tone was a surprising success in last of the award-winning ensemble ‘ e Jesus year’s widely acclaimed CD of omas Cardinall’s Musick.’ He came to Sidney Tomkins’ music, and has gone on to from Magdalen College Oxford, where provide a challenge to the tradition- he directed the mixed-voice Chapel ally acclaimed absolute purity of, say, choir. Jesus

esus College Chapel has – under just three of its kind in the city – is Choral Evensong (men & women): various auspices – been used as transporting, but the girls provide Sunday 6 pm; Tuesday 6.30 pm aJ space for worship since before one of the best female top-lines in Choral Evensong (men & boys): the University was even founded. Cambridge. e service is friendly ursday 6.30 pm; Saturday 6.30 Construction of the building began but formal, and the music is usu- pm around 1150; despite the altera- ally accessible rather than exotic. Carols by candlelight: ursday and tions 850 years have brought, its ough the Chapel building is large, Friday, December 4 & 5 musty history is unmistakable from the space in which the service is the moment you walk inside. e held is intimate; every Cambridge music of the Jesus Chapel Choirs is a student should feel blessed to have Director of Music: Daniel Hyde sublime addition to the enchanting the chance to sit a stone’s throw away A relatively recent graduate of King’s atmosphere that envelops worship- from Jesus’ world-class musicians (where he was an Organ Scholar), pers as soon as they are ensconced in four times a week. EM Mr Hyde has been Director of Music the rich darkness of the old wooden at Jesus since 2004. In recent years, pews (you’d be a fool to sit in the Special Compline services happen he has given acclaimed perform- antechapel). e sound of the men once or twice over the course of each ances everywhere from Australia to Sidney Sussex and boys’ choir especially – one of term Eucharist: Sunday 9.30 am the BBC Proms. PATRICK GARETY DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): “Uh-oh,” says Colin. “I could have sworn I created a T-Rex.” ere’s a T-Rex shaped hole in the side of the laboratory. p13 Probably best go and get the T-Rex back. p14 How did the T-Rex make a hole in the shape of a T-Rex? Magazine Editor: Daniel Cohen; Arts Editor: Anna Trench; Features Editor: Rob Peal Friday November 21 2008 16 Magazine: Arts and Features [email protected] varsity.co.uk Wiseman’s Wisdom CHAT-UP LINES AND JOKES ARE NOT THE USUAL PRESERVE OF PSYCHOLOGY, BUT THEN RICHARD WISEMAN IS NOT YOUR USUAL PSYCHOLOGIST. TIMOTHY LEUNG TALKS TO HIM ABOUT THE QUIRKS OF HUMAN BEHAVIOUR f Richard Wiseman were a pizza top- his psychological education, Wiseman Wiseman’s passion in promoting a own work has attempted to buck this Iping, he would be “quite a dull ham has held an interest in the quirky. His more profound appreciation of science trend. His studies into the psychology of and pineapple.” It might seem strange rst research was on the paranormal, has earned him a distinctive title as the luck have inspired a plethora of training for an interviewer to ask how his subject which Wiseman regards as “another only Professor of the Public Under- courses designed to “open people to perceives himself in gastronomical rein- form of rationality” that has become so standing of Psychology in the UK. In looking at the world in a more positive carnation, but then again, most subjects prevalent because “there is probably a his zeal to disseminate his work to the and opportunistic way”. are not so renowned for their forays into part of our brains that want to believe public, Wiseman has used the media Yet the world is not always so opti- the quirky and peculiar. A er all, it was these things. If you don’t feel your life proli cally, including appearing as a mistic, especially amidst these traumatic Wiseman who found that asking some- has very much going for it, then being guest psychologist on Big Brother. Of times. Wiseman’s contribution to the one what pizza topping they perceived told wonderful things by a psychic is a this phenomenon, he notes, “I nd it a alleviation of our stresses was to create themselves as made an immensely suc- comforting message you would want to little bit scary what people would do just last month the most relaxing room cessful chat-up line. believe.” to be famous even if it’s just a ten-week in the world, which carries features Wiseman has made ‘quirkology’, a It was not long before Wiseman run in the summer. I would rather designed to lure the senses into portmanteau of ‘quirky’ and ‘psychol- moved on to engage quirkology prop- people pursued other ways of becoming serenity. For Wiseman, even our ogy’, the theme of his research, and in erly. His experiments explore aspects well-known if that’s their goal.” current problems have their root so doing, has found answers to some that other researchers have traditionally Wiseman believes that psychology in psychology. “Our brains have of the questions most pertinent to shunned not because they “don’t want today has become too reductionist. “For very much evolved to be crea- everyday life. anks to Wiseman, we to do them, or are terribly dull people,” me as a social psychologist, we’re also ig- tures for short-term success, now know that jokes involving animals but because “these types of studies, for noring those massive social forces which so you gobble up all the are funnier if the protagonist is a duck, the most part, don’t attract very much are out there, and so just to say, “Oh, resources now because that the world’s funniest joke concerns funding and it’s di cult to publish them there’s a part of the brain ring here you don’t know what’s a fallen New Jersey hunter and his dim- in good places.” His investigations into when this happens,” that to me doesn’t around the corner... witted companion, and that the optimal the quirkier realms of human behaviour answer the question about why that is It seems to me an division of personal ads should be are driven by his “very short attention the case and how you can change people entirely psycho- 70% about yourself and 30% about the span” and passion for “things that are to live more meaningful, happy and logical problem.” person whom you seek. Humanity has very relevant to people’s lives.” He la- productive lives.” is sense of ‘positive If psychology much to owe Professor Wiseman. ments “the fact that most psychologists, psychology’ lies at the core of Wise- is the problem, Although he is celebrated today as a like most scientists, spend all their lives man’s philosophy, and is the direction therein must psychologist, Wiseman began his career just digging further and further into a he hopes psychology will take in the lie the solution, as one of the youngest members of the very, very small aspect of the world or coming years. At present, “we know a and there is prestigious Magic Circle. Despite his human behaviour” when they should lot about depression and psychosis and no man more success, Wiseman grew disillusioned be “getting out there and doing science.” all those sorts of things. We don’t know quali ed than with his lifestyle as a Covent Garden A er all, “we are paid for by the taxpay- very much about how to get people Wiseman to street magician, and soon converted ers, so our science needs to be relevant to be a bit happier with their lives and provide a practical to psychology. From the beginnings of to their lives.” maintain that happiness.” Wiseman’s answer to our troubles. Foalhardy FOALS’ MUSIC IS MATHEMATICALLY FORMULATED TO MAKE YOU DANCE. THEY TELL DECCA MULDOWNEY ABOUT PUNCH-UPS, PENGUINS AND THE OTHER PLACE

immy, the guitarist from Foals press. It’s good we’ve got haters, I’d be a festival in Barcelona this summer thinks he is going deaf in one ear worrying if we didn’t.” Foals, along with members of the Kaiser fromJ standing next to the drums. Foals met through the tightly-knit Chiefs, got involved in a ght between He is shouting over the noise of the music scene in Oxford. ey still cite Kele Okereke from Bloc Party and the rest of the band sound-checking local bands like at Fucking Tank, Sex Pistols’ John Lydon. Okereke ac- from inside the Cross Kings pub in Charlotte eld and Oxes as in uences, cused Lydon and his entourage of racial North London. e entire building along with everything from German abuse and a scu e ensued that resulted is vibrating with the noise and even techno to the minimalist classical in Yannis almost being arrested. “I hope the pavement underfoot seems to be composers Steve Reich and Terry nothing like that ever happens again,” humming. Foals are hypnotic, and not Riley. Yannis and Edwin both read Jimmy says, “Seeing Kele get smashed only because of their catchy melodies, English at Oxford before quitting to up like that…it was horrible, really intricate polyrhythms, cryptic lyrics pursue their musical careers. Jimmy is horrible.” e incident was made worse and techno-inspired basslines. Many in fact the only member of the band by that fact that Lydon was one of the songs begin with the band standing in with a degree. He describes his time band’s heroes. “We’re going through stu a tight circle all facing each other with at university as his “ rst break-away now that not many people go through,” an intense look of concentration on period” where he “found out who he Jimmy says. e band have become a their faces, and then suddenly, almost was and discovered a lot of music.” But family, he explains, “We’re like a load of mathematically, breaking out into the most important things he learnt brothers, we bicker, we poke each other, jittery, stuttering instrumentals. is were the lessons about life: “How to we wind each other up.” And when it music will make you dance and make operate on no money and still have a gets tough? “Penguins in a wind-storm you think. good time.” all turn their backs and huddle up. We Last time Varsity interviewed e band has experienced a mete- do that and then everything’s OK.” Foals they were the Next Big ing. oric rise to fame. Jimmy joined in May Jimmy’s advice to bands starting Now, if you have not already heard 2006 and by September Foals were out for the rst time? “Go on tours of them, you probably been living in signed to Transgressive. “It happened where you sleep on people’s oors and Tuvalu. Headlining the Other Stage at really, really fast,” Jimmy says, “I was you have no money and you run out Glastonbury, and playing at festivals going through a typical a er-Uni thing of petrol in the middle of Leeds city all over Europe this summer, Foals thinking, what the hell am I going to centre. It’s all character-building stu . have become almost impossible to do? ank God it happened when it If you don’t have those foundations, avoid. Yannis’ face is plastered all over did.” When keyboardist Edwin joined you’ll struggle later on. Just do it, just the NME, and the band has attracted “He’d never played an instrument or keep doing it. If you’re good enough as many detractors as obsessive fans. anything, but we knew he had a great you’ll get noticed. Don’t be afraid of “We’ve got a whole gang of haters,” musical ear. We were like, ‘Here’s a approaching people with your music. If Jimmy says. “We went through a phase keyboard, play on it!’ It was a total they knock you back, they knock you when we took it to heart.” And now? baptism of re.” back. If you love it you never will stop “Fuck it, who cares? Any press is good e notoriety is not always easy. At doing it.”

DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): ‘Hey there,’ says the Dinosaur. You ask Colin why the dinosaur can speak. ‘You can ask me if you like,’ says the T-Rex. ‘A er all, I can speak.’ You ask him why he can speak. ‘I don’t know,’ says the T-Rex. ‘But it’s just nice to ask.’ Anyway Colin explains: p20 DNA problems. p21 Film works solutions. Friday November 21 2008 Write for the Magazine varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Arts and Features 17

THE AMNESTY INTERVIEW From the Archives Our man Xan AWARD-WINNING FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT XAN RICE HAS BEEN IN THE THICK OF EAST AFRICA’S TUMULT FOR THE LAST TWO AND A HALF YEARS. HE TALKS TO HANNAH PERRY ABOUT THE RESPONSIBILITIES INVOLVED IN COVERING THE TROUBLES IN SOMALIA, DARFUR AND MOST RECENTLY KENYA n just two and a half years as the Guard- beginning of the New Year. Rice was the he obtains such brazenly honest accounts that need telling are eventually told”. ian’s East Africa correspondent, Xan rst journalist to the scene of a church in from the perpetrators of horri c crimes, However, simple practicalities o en a ect IRice’s proli c coverage has ranged from a compound in Eldoret, western Kenya, Rice comments “in Africa people are gen- the amount of coverage. “ e space we get the con icts in Somalia and Darfur to where two hundred Kenyans had taken erally less guarded than in the West. Peo- and the priority the stories are given o en Week 7: October 10 1970 the more recent post election violence in shelter from outbursts of ethnic violence. ple talk openly, even to journalists”. I nd depends on what is happening elsewhere Do your thing baby – or has Kenya. It was no surprise when on June Among them was Grace Githuthwa it hard to understand how a reporter can in the world.” someone done it already? 19 Rice was awarded Amnesty Interna- and her children. Hundreds of youths remain objective when he has seen such Rice has to report to a readership tional’s Gaby Rado Memorial award. is from the Kalenjin tribe had attacked the atrocities rst hand. I ask him whether he entirely displaced from his reality, an knew I was a trendy intellectual. award commemorates Rado, a Christ’s church armed with bows, arrows and is motivated by a sense of responsibility audience rarely exposed to the kinds of I’d got a place at Cambridge. For graduate and British TV journalist, who machetes. e youths eventually set re to the readership? “Objectivity is always violence and corruption that a foreign threeI years I and my ego could run died during the invasion of Iraq. Channel to the compound, forcing Githuthwa and the goal, but journalists always inject their correspondent witnesses. Because of this, riot at someone else’s expense. 4 News presenter Jon Snow was one of her three children out into the onslaught. own biases, whether consciously or not. you would expect the reporting of this I saw my room. “No.” I cried “No this year’s ceremony judges, and he com- subject matter to remain a long and ardu- and thrice no. For clogs on dull mended Rice for his “courage and talent, “PEOPLE RELY ON NEWS OUTLETS TO TELL THEM ABOUT ous process. However, much like writing scholastics the institution plaster. diligence and insight”. a weekly essay, Rice tells me he takes as But my vibrations hum to a more Rice’s achievement demonstrates just THE WORLD, AND IF WE GET IT WRONG WE ARE LETTING much time as there is available to write his delicate tune. My room must be ME; how quickly a journalist can make his accounts. “I’m a very slow writer. If a piece all ME; and only ME.” mark on the British media. “I came late to THEM DOWN, AS WELL AS LETTING DOWN THE SUBJECTS needs to be completed in one hour, I’ll get I took no chances. I covered my journalism,” says Rice “at the age of 27 I OF OUR STORIES.” it done. But if I have a few days, I’ll still wall in posters; doused all the lights did a six-month NCTJ (National Council only submit near the deadline.” with Japanese lanterns; planted a for the Training of Journalists) course in He tells me something of the process of forest of paper owers and scalded Harlow. I then did a bit of freelance work, Rice wrote this account for the Guardian As for my own responsibility, I see my role writing his stories. “A straight news story all my new Cambridge friends with mainly for the Voice newspaper in Lon- on January 3: “ e Kalenjin youths were as telling stories by reporting the facts as does not take many steps. But a news unsymmetrical, porous, peasant don, before starting shi s at the Times, on still waiting ‘cutting people like rewood’ accurately as possible in the time available. feature can be a long process – lots of pottery mugs. the personal nance pages, which eventu- as they emerged [from the church]. ‘ ey People rely on news outlets to tell them research and reading before the report- Shrouding myself in owing Cam- ally led to me getting a sta position.” His snatched Miriam from me and threw her about the world, and if we get it wrong we ing starts. e opening to a story o en bridge style clothes I sallied forth rise continued unabated. “In 2004 I came back into the re’ said Githuthwa as she are letting them down, as well as letting takes the longest to write.” Despite being to check up on my fellow grooves. out to Nairobi to be a stringer for the returned to the church… hoping by some down the subjects of our stories.” grouped in the loaded bracket of ‘human A traumatic experience. rough Times, before moving to the Guardian in miracle Miriam had survived.” is ac- He thinks that the British media cover- rights journalism’, Rice describes his role the murky glare of my Japanese 2006. I was looking to get out of the o ce count, and many more he obtained from age of East African news is “not bad. It’s a as ‘a journalist’ rst and foremost, not ‘a lampshade’s Japanese twin brother and into the eld. e position in Nairobi victims still linger in my memory. big region. And we only report on many human rights advocate.’ I saw – my most original poster. was the one that opened up.” Despite being one of the rst Western parts super cially, but generally the stories If something happens anywhere in Horrors. “Absolutely fantastic isn’t Rice advises aspiring journalists not to journalists at the scene, Rice says that East Africa, it is Rice’s ‘responsibility’ it?” said my rival trendy. “Fright- be too picky when starting out: “ e jour- the presence of a journalist does not to cover it on our behalf, but also on fully exclusive design. I happened nalism world may seem closed at times, necessarily a ect the dynamic of a behalf of his subjects. e stories to know a man, who knew a man...” but they are always ways in. Enthusiasm situation. “Our job is to observe, of victims of human rights abuses en the crowning insult, hot co ee is key. Find out the names of editors, and to put ourselves outside the would go untold and unknown on my thighs. An unsymmetrical keep pitching them ideas. If they turn you events. I tried not to get in the without journalists such as peasant pottery mug. I went to down, consider doing the story on-spec. way of people doing their Xan Rice. e consequences bed. I thought hard. ere must be Don’t be too picky about the publication job, Red Cross workers or would be dire; would you something that would mark me out – if the writing is good it’ll eventually get police for example, until donate money to the Red as the essentially supergrad that I noticed.” If you really want to be a foreign they had time to talk to Cross, Oxfam or Christian was. Some mere ash of that original correspondent, then maverick behaviour me.” For safety when Aid, if you knew nothing genius. Where would I be without it? seems to be the order of the day. “ ere travelling to insecure of the victims in Soma- I went to sleep laughing. are worse things to do than simply going places he “tries to lia, Darfur and Kenya? I was up in time for college to a country which you nd interesting use common sense. ere is no doubting breakfast. Of course I didn’t go in. (and that you think readers and editors Talking to people the purpose journal- I sauntered to the shop. “Please” I would nd interesting) and starting to who may have been ist such as Xan serve, drawled, “one of those delicious, freelance for whoever will take your sto- to the area recently and what of his plans wall-hangings from Afghanistan ries. You won’t make much money at rst, – journalists, aid for the future? “To made of hair plucked from native but opportunities o en open up when workers, usually – as keep on writing.” virgins.” – “I’ll see if I have one le ” you’re on the ground.” well as those working she said. “ ey’re popular this term.” Rice has won awards for several of there currently, is a his features, one of which is a harrow- big help”. y father said university wom- ing account of the tribal violence When I en weren’t fashion conscious. following the Kenyan elections at the asked how MHe was wrong as usual. A walk down King’s Parade would show him that Cambridge students of both sexes follow fashion changes keenly/blindly. is term the only women who show their knees in public are dons and the God-Squad. True, both are strange developments in the species. But are they so wrong here? is un- quali ed acceptance of the midi by the masses has produced some displeasing visions in Cambridge this week. Certainly this term has seen one of the more painful rounds in the inter-freaky war for the best-groover of the week award. Fresh competition comes from rst years. ey have read about Cambridge in the papers. It is an intellectual me- tropolis where princes hob-knob with grammar school boys; a free- thinking city where underprivileged pupils are defended with bricks. Quite terrifying. GILES SMITH

DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): You nd the T-Rex in the grounds of Jesus College, hiding next to the Chapman brothers’ dinosaur sculptures. It’s a nice idea, but not a really good hiding place in the end because the real T- Rex looks like a dinosaur, and the sculptures don’t. e Chapman brothers have to apologise for their sculpting to the Master of Jesus. p22 But they don’t apologise. p23 Now you think of it, the Master of Jesus should really be called God. Listings and Reviews Editor: Toby Chadd Friday November 21 2008 Friday November 21 2008 Get your event listed 18 Magazine: Listings [email protected] varsity.co.uk varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Listings 19

CHRISTIANA SPENS

VARSITY WEEK theTHE VARSITY WEEK: YOUR COMPLETELY COMPREHENSIVE PULL-OUT GUIDE TO THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS. STICK IT ON YOUR WALL. Music and Jazz e a t r e Going Out Talks and Events Sport Art, Jazz & Classical Film CUR1350 Radio Pick of the Week

Friday 21 Friday 21 & Saturday 15 Friday 21 Saturday 22 Friday 21 Ongoing Exhibitions Body of Lies Saturday 22 Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky Razorlight Richard III Laser Magnetic e s i s Argentina v Spain, Davis Cup Final Fitzwilliam Museum: Vue e Alice Jones Show Wednesday November 26 Corn Exchange: 7.30pm (£25) Troilus and Cressida(pg 20) Clare Cellars: 9pm (£5) Old Lab, Newnham: 8pm (Free) Sky Sports Xtra: 3pm • Sir Sydney Cockerell and e Fitz All Days: 12:00, 15:00, 18:00, 20:50 10-11am West Road: 8pm (£5 on the door) Razorlight head out on tour this au- Spring Awakening (pg 21) ere’s a disappointing lack of disco Alejandro Amenabar’s 1996 lm, Months of sweat, tears and booming • Japanese Pottery (booking necessary) ‘Body of Lies’ hasn’t been so well Lively chit chat and special guests. tumn in support of their new album Scenes of Mild Peril (pg 21) in Cambridge. Laser Magnetic will winner of the 2008 n.e.r.d.i Oscars forehands nally comes to its climax • Palaces in the Night - Whistler’s Prints received, but the Ridley Scott/Russell Interesting facts about sea creatures CUMS I, conducted by Mark Austin and Carlos de Cueto, perform Stravinsky’s Firebird Suite alongside Slipway Fires. Bedroom Farce (pg 21) temporarily set things straight. e prize for most frightening. as Argentina take on Spain is this • Chinese Imperial Jades Crowe team must be worth seeing and Kant. Features will include: again, if only for itself, especially with Tchaikovsky’s Manfred Symphony. Sergei Diaghilev disco revival is in full-force, and their year’s Davis Cup Final. • Tomb Treasures of Ancient Georgia ‘the Britney Spears song which most commissioned Stravinsky to write the music for a Sunday 23 Abigail’s Party London night is a big part of it. Feel Sunday 23 • Greeks, ‘Barbarans’ and their Coins Di Caprio thrown into the mix. CIA, captures the mood of that week’, ballet, and in 1910 the Firebird was born. Tchaiko- Andy Bowie Quartet e Octagon, St. Chad’s: 8pm (£5) free to get out those big collars, but e Dark Knight Saturday 22 • Picasso Prints – Dreams and Lies terrorists, Jordan, enlisting the help vsky’s is the ealiest of the two works, a programmatic Cricketers Pub: 8.30pm (Free) St Catharine’s freshers present Mike this isn’t about irony. Yusief Hamied eatre, Christ’s New Aston Villa v Manchester United of a wise veteran, etc. etc. You know Sunday 23 symphony based on Byron’s poem of the same name. Sax-led modern jazz from Ellington Leigh’s 70s satire. Court: 7 / 10pm (Free) Setanta Sports 1: 5.30pm Kettle’s Yard (all free): the rest. Pick’n’mix Heavily inspired by Berlioz’s Harold en Italie, the to Shorter from ever-expanding rep- Saturday 22 See the new batman in the comfort “Its a goal....and another!” If you’re a • Open: East Anglian Artists 12-1pm work is either exhaustively long-winded or wonder- ertoire, in a new, larger venue. Saturday 22 Stink Like Sock of Christ’s new theatre with a Dolby football nut (or Alan Partridge • Paul Coldwell: ‘I called when you Waltz With Bashir An hour of great music, with the fully spacious, depending both on your own opinion Tragedy Circus Junction: 10pm (£9) sound system. Come early to either of enthusiasts) this will tickle your were out’ (2-4pm) Arts Picturehouse songs that you want to hear along and the performance itself. e work is, however, one Tchaikovsky John Randall Quintet Peterhouse eatre: 7.30pm A er many drum ‘n’ bass nights, the two showings, to avoid disap- fancy. European Champions Man U All Days (not Tue/Wed):12.00, 2.15, with music news, quirky stories and of the greatest originality and power. Unmissable. Clare Cellars: 9.30pm Freddy Syborn’s new play, a comedy dubstep’s taking over, and they’ve pointment. take on Europe-chasing Villa in the Friday 21 7.00, 9.15 information on gigs coming up in See POTW about tragedy. assembled quite the line-up. Elder Premiership’s most juicy weekend Palestrina, Victoria, Byrd & Britten Tues: 3.30, 7.30, 9.30, Cambridge. Join Charlotte for a wide statesman Mala will be joined by the Tuesday 25 xture. “Eat my goal”. St Columba’s Church, Downing St: Wed: 3.00, 7.00, 9.15 variety of music including songs To win a pair of tickets to ADC’s mainshow, turn Monday 24 Sunday 23 funniest MC in the game, Sergeant Sir Peter Ricketts 8pm (Free) An interesting look at the 1982 chosen by you the listeners. to our competition on page 23 Airborne Submerge Pokes. Other sets will come from e Union Chamber, 7.30pm Sunday 23 e excellent Cambridge Singers a Israeli-Lebanon war in the form Junction: 8pm (£12) English Faculty: 7pm younger guns Joker, Silkie and Kul- Sir Peter Ricketts is the Permanent India v England, 4th ODI concert in honour of St Cecilia. of animated documentary. Weird Monday 24 Airbourne know how to tear up a eatre for an audience of one at a ture, who are taking things in a new Under Secretary of the Foreign and Sky Sports 1: 8.30am sounding, worth seeing. e Melting Pot John Randall Quintet stage as well as any of the rock greats, time. direction. Commonwealth O ce. He was for- My my, how things are going badly Saturday 22 10-11pm Sunday November 23 supported by Stone Gods – the rem- merly the Permanent Representative out in Asia. On the back of a mighty Bach and Brown e Baader-Meinho Complex e Melting Pot is your rst port of Clare Cellars: 9.30pm nants of e Darkness. Tuesday 25 Indie ing to NATO is Brussels, and Chairman Test victory over the Aussies, India Trinity Chapel: 8pm (£5 conc.) Arts Picturehouse call for all things cultural - eclectic, Playhouse Creatures Kambar: 10pm (£3/£2) of the Joint Intelligence Committee. are giving their former colonial Mary Bevan joins the New Cam- All Days (not Sat): 12.00, 17.30 (not global and o en unexpected, we take e John Randall Quintet play young, modern, Tuesday 25 Corpus Playroom: 7pm (£4) A regular night of Indie Music play- masters a right seeing to. Whooping bridge Singers including Bach’s ‘Mag- Tue), 20.30 you on a weekly ride through art, forward thinking music that, whilst always in uenced e Guillemots A group of women use theatre to save ing new songs and old favourites. Wednesday 26 KP’s men in the rst game, easily ni cat’ & ‘Orchestral Suite No. 1.’ Sat: 13.00, 16.00, 21.00 theatre, cinema, music and anything by the musical traditions of jazz, sees the raw energy Junction: 8pm (£14) themselves in 1663 London. Christopher Ricks victorious in the second, if things stay One to watch, if the recent spate in else you can think of! of rock and the deep groove of hip hop sit alongside Epic, tuneful music, as bizarre as it Monday 24 Mill Lane Lecture Rooms, 5.15pm the same then the 7-match series Beethoven, Mozart, Mendelssohn good German cinema is anything to abstract textures and electronics. Complex rhythmic is beautiful; a melting pot of synth, eseus and the Minotaur Fatpoppadaddy’s Ricks on Milton and ‘the best will be all over come the end of this West Road: 8pm (£3) go by. Hopefully it’ll join the ranks Tuesday 25 and harmonic ideas are made to sound simple and strings and jazz. ADC: 7.45pm (£6) Fez: 10pm (£4/3/2) criticism of any works’ Christopher 4th One Day International. Cambridge University Chamber of ‘Downfall’ and ‘Goodbye Lenin’, Talk Scratchings catchy. It is music of contrasts, where a sub bass rock 2008 ADC/Footlight’s Panto. is long-running night is a melting- Ricks is an acclaimed literary critic Orchestra present, among others, without falling into ‘Edukators’-esque 9-11pm out can dissolve within seconds into a rubato ballad. Wednesday 26 pot of Indie, DnB, Hip-hop, reggae... and Professor of Poetry at Oxford. Beethoven’s Egmont Overture. mediocrity. Christos & Micky return with their Underpinning all of this is the musicality of a band of Show of Hands Suddenly Last Summer Geo rey Hill has even described his own unique brand of nothing, along virtuosic improvisers. Junction: 8pm (£16) Corpus Playroom: 9pm Tuesday 11th “critical intelligence” as “unrivalled”. Sunday 23 Hunger with the best in new music, and a few Acoustic roots duo in uenced by See pg 19 for the background. r u s t His work on Milton is celebrated and Suor Angelica Arts Picturehouse old favourites. ey discuss the latest Fri: 16.30, rock, blues and country that have e Place: 10pm (£3/£4) this talk is thus unmissable. Trinity Chapel: 9pm movies & TV, as well as the odder National Rail Disco headlined festivals and played all Habeas Corpus CUSU’s new LBGT night. e last of the Beethoven Ensemble’s Sat: 12.00 side of the news. Sun: 12.00, 17.00 ursday November 27 over the world. Chadwick Room, Selwyn: 3pm (£4) Israel and the two-state solution performances of Puccini’s opera. Kambar: 10pm Alan Bennett’s love and lust among Wednesday 26 Murray Edwards: 5.15pm Mon: 17.00 Wednesday 26 Fuzzy Lights, Dead Rat Orchestra & doctors. Oneman Clare Short discusses this most perti- Monday 24 Tues: 12.00, 17.30 e Promised Land Wed: 12.00 e idea: to take classical music out of the concert Last of the Real Hardmen Emmanuel Bar: 9pm (£4) nent of questions. Delius, Rautavaara, Dvorak 9-11pm hall and onto the dance oor. Including Shostako- Portland Arms: 8pm (£3) Wednesday 26 In a dubstep scene obsessed with West Road: 8pm (£5 on the door) ur: 17.00, 19.15 A tangential journey west across the Steve McQueen’s directorial debut in vitch’s Romances, Janacek’s Violin Sonata, Stravin- From Cambridge, Colchester and Secret Heart novelty, Oneman stands out for his ursday 27 CUMS II under Mark Biggins and United States, getting to know the sky’s Rite of Spring and Bartok’s String Quartet No. Nottingham respectively, this compi- ADC: 7pm (£4) willingness to play older tunes. He’s “No recourse, no safety” Wednesday 26 Fergus Macleod. Including Delius’ this lm about IRA member Bobby roots of almost all today’s popular Sands’ hunger strike. See our review. 2. ey tried the same thing a few years ago in a lation promises an eclectic mix from Puppetry, music and movement in obsessed with 2-step, which he pairs Law Faculty, Room G24, 7.30pm Blues v Steele Bodger XV Walk to the Paradise Garden. music, and getting a glimpse into the London club, with Handel’s Messiah being pumped the visceral to the heart-beguiling. David Almond’s play. with classic dubstep, as well as newer “No recourse, no safety” Talk Law Grange Road: 3pm soul of the most powerful country on Zack and Miri Make a Porno out to a crowd of revellers. e results, apparently, tracks. What makes this special are Faculty, Room G24, 7.30pm As a e Blues are bruised and battered. Tuesday 25 Earth. were ecstatic. I can see the same result here. And ursday 27 Rhinoceros his staggering mixing talents, and part of Stop Violence Against Women ey’ve lost their last 6 games. Oxford La tragédie de Carmen by Bizet Vue Fri-Tues: 21:20, 23:50 (Late Show only the performances won’t be bad, either - several of Medicine Hat Fitzpatrick Hall, Queens’: 7.30pm (£4) his tireless knack for getting people week (running from Tuesday 25 have lost only one all season (and Arts eatre: 7.30pm (£15) ursday 27 Cambridge’s top musicians will be chipping in. Junction: 7.30pm (£8.50) Rhinocerisation in 50’s rural France. dancing. November - Monday 1 December), pre-season). In the second last match English Touring Opera present Peter Fri/Sat) A & E (Anything and Everything) Six-piece rock band with a Southern ursday’s talk will focus on how before Twickenham, can Jon Dawson Brook’s visceral adaptation of Bizet’s How to solve liquidity issues: make 6-7pm American feel. e band regularly Festen ursday 27 women with insecure immigrant rally his men to victory? e odds are masterpiece. a porn lm. Maybe Hank Paulson Chris Boreham and Sarah Birch tours around the world playing its Pembroke New Cellars: 7.45pm Chester P & Fallacy status can be denied public housing against them. should see this?! bring you your weekly dose of musi- infectious, driving music to eager fans Sixtieth birthday party gone wrong. Fez: 10pm (£5) and funds when escaping domestic Wednesday 26 cal medication. Whatever you need, who appreciate the diverse, original In case you’d forgotten about UK hip violence. Blues v Coventry Stravinsky, Tchaikovsky My Best Friend’s Girl we’ve got it, from rock to rap and ska e Varsity songs. Patience hop, Chester P, founder of Task Force, Fenners: 3pm West Road: 8pm (£5) Vue to swing, a guaranteed pick-me-up. Robinson Auditorium: 8pm is set to remind you. He’s joined Slade Lectures 2008 Or, for those who prepare skill and See pick of the week. All Days: 13:00, 15:30, 18:00, 20:30, Friday 28 Gilbert and Sullivan at its best. by Fallacy, an MC who dabbles in Mill Lane Lecture room 3, 5pm beauty over brutality and aggression, 23:00 (Late Show only Fri/Sat) Friday 28 Abram Wilson & e Delta Blues garage as well as hip hop. In the penultimate installment of catch Cambridge’s nest football lads Tuesday 18 Xmas is approaching… How do we CUR1350 Loves Fridays Wealth Survey 2008 Trio e Government Inspector the Slade Lectures, Professor Robert take on Coventry. Out of the cup and Hidas, Ellerby, Reed, Gillingham know? e annual feel-good rom 7-9pm Junction: 8pm (£16) Pembroke New Cellars: 10.30pm (£4) National Rail Disco Hillenbrand talks about Early Islamic down on their luck, it is up to Cap- West Road: 8pm (£5 on the door) com is upon us. Guy uses best friend Join Simon “Ginge” Ruggles as Cambridge Modern Jazz Club Gogol’s nineteenth-century satire. Kambar: 10pm Palaces - bottomless purse, but dubi- tain Jamie Rutt to end then wound Cambridge University Wind Orches- to show his ex what she is missing CUR1350 Goes LIVE in the mix on a presents Wilson’s explosive band, See POTW ous taste? licking and start the arse-kicking. tra joined by Prime Brass for what out on. Guess what – she falls for the Friday Night, bringing you two hours playing everything from straight- Fruit promises to be an unusual concert. decoy guy! Duh. of massive dance music, our Big In ahead jazz and delta blues to acoustic ADC: 11pm (£4) My Box Floor ller and all those club Win a bottle of wine by lling out our hip hop. Cambridge undergrad Orlando listings and o ers you need to know Reade’s new work. DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): ‘T-Rexes are very neat dinosaurs,’ explains Colin. ‘ ey always go through walls sideways so you can see where they’ve gone. And all this points to the fact that the T-Rex has gone this week! through that wall.’ You follow the T-Rex. ere are T-Rex shaped footprints leading away across the road. p24 But where are they going? p25 Why are the footprints in the shape of a T-Rex as well? online survey: www.varsity.co.uk/wealth Reviews and Listings Editor: Toby Chadd Friday November 21 2008 20 Magazine: Reviews [email protected] varsity.co.uk

View From e Stage THEATRE

Vortigern by William Henry Ireland

Pembroke New Cellars, Wednesday November 19 TOM MORIARTY Dir. Alex Whiscombe; Pembroke Players  ortigern. An eighteenth-century smiles sent the audience’s way kind of I couldn’t believe my eyes at times: Week 7: Freddy Syborn, Vplay about a 5th century warlord. spoilt the illusion which theatre rather swords were branded that looked like Tragedy Circus On rst glance, not the kind of thing seriously relies upon. long wooden paper knives, dangerously one would expect from a late show in e performances ranged from the unchoreographed ght scenes unfolded Prof. Enoch To ee is a visiting aca- Pembroke New Cellars. But despite self-consciously amusing to the tedi- ten-a-penny, and mistimed thunder and demic attached to the English Fac- melodrama so hammy that it would ously robotic. David Harrup’s Vortigern lightning sound cues chimed in, bring- ulty of Glossop University. Freddy make a pig doubt its own bacon creden- was something you rarely see: a lead ing the play into a whole new realm of Syborn asks him what he seeks to tials, sentimentality so gushing it would performance almost entirely driven by medieval farce. gain from his tragedy seminar, and make Keira Knightley laugh, and a comedic motive, despite being at the However, the spirit in which the why students should attend. script so butchered that it would not be expense of the more serious con icts play was performed went a long way to FS: What do you seek to gain from amiss on the elds of Verdun, I have to of the character. To his credit, his ec- redeeming it; the decision to turn the your tragedy seminar, and why confess that I laughed throughout. centric hand gestures and extreme facial script into an outright comedy meant should students attend? ere was something very refreshing expressions never failed to amuse the that it largely ful lled its function and about Alex Whiscombe’s production; audience. For extremity, look no further kept the audience entertained through- ET: Quite apart from the academic for a weighty and di cult text it never than Jonathan Woolley. His lascivious out: perfect for a late performance to a bene ts, my Tragedy Circus will took itself seriously, it was totally lack- cameo regularly resulted in spontane- bunch of pissed students in the mood hopefully give aspiring students ing in pretence and featured moments ous applause, and provided hilarious, to laugh at their friends. How ironic who wish to write or create a good of impressive (although o en uninten- if absurdly contrived, entertainment. It that playwright Ireland managed to deal of inspiration, because a tragic tional) comic timing. But the problem certainly contrasted with Emily Parr’s convince Sheridan that Vortigern was in perception of life is probably the with one night stands is that the actors Edmunda, which was the only believ- fact by Shakespeare. Clearly this irony thing most great artists of any era o en play up to the crowd, and the able and moving performance in the was not lost on the cast. or culture were obsessed by apart constant corpsing and little winks and play. Alex Winterbotham from sex or money. FS: You’re interested in taxidermy. Troilus and Cressida by William Shakespeare Why? SEAN JONES School of Pythagoras, November 18-22 ET: Taxidermy is an art that interfaces death with life. One can Dir. Greg Buchanan; Anubis Players explore not only what Walter Ben-  jamin described as the “signifying roilus and Cressida is a deeply long speeches tramping distractingly convinced by Cressida’s betrayal: it was nature” of the death’s head, but also ambiguous and almost impen- from one end of the creaking stage to un-detailed and seemed more schizo- one’s own feelings and fears to do etrableT play. Set in a sti ing war zone, the other, apparently wholly without phrenic than slowly corrosive. Hannah with being stu ed. And about sex it is neither tragedy nor comedy nor purpose. Nevertheless, Sarah McNee’s Love was de ly con dent and won- and money. Lots of sex and money love story – there is no grand catharsis, design is very striking, pitting the shiny derfully funny as the morally disease- in taxidermy. Over the course of just people being inevitably warped black masks of the Greeks against the riddled Pandarus, and coped especially one taxidermy weekend confer- and worn down by their own messy sober suits of the Trojans, and showing well in light of the odd decision to make ence, I’ll have sex anywhere up to weaknesses, an un inchingly bleak and the noble Hector fastidiously folding his the character gender-less. twice. O en with a person. Who I realistic vision of war and love, where jacket to ght the snarling Ajax. is production is certainly worth haven’t paid. the morally adaptable rather than the One of the main di culties of the seeing; it’s in some ways very impres- FS: Right. So you – good thrive. text is the long, confusing speeches sive and that it is entirely self funded is e main problem of Greg Bucha- which o er little to sympathise with certainly a sign of Buchanan’s commit- ET: O en, but not exclusively, not nan’s production was the poor quality or be upli ed by. is is a play rarely ment and ambition. In the two and a with a whore. of the movement. ere was very little attempted in performance, and the half hours it lasted, however, I didn’t sense we were in a self destructive and director of any production has to tease feel that he had made enough sense of FS: Good – destroying landscape of war. e result out a clear and interesting way through the complicated material. e end of was that too much of the underlying the material, to unearth the emotional Troilus and Cressida should leave the ET: Not with the animals, either. tension, hysteria and disturbance of arcs, subtle changes of allegiance and audience and cast in a ravaged land- Very popular practice. ere’s the text and plot was ironed out, most erosion of ideals. Okey Nzelu and scape riddled with searing failure. ere a man I know from the Dundee notably in Ulysses’ key argument. Eleanor Massie in the title roles were were some excellent moments here, but brotherhood. We call him Tim Aside from a well choreographed ght clear and arresting as the couple whose at too many points it agged and sagged the Fingers. Likes real ale. Got a scene, most of the actors spent their love trips up and fails, although I wasn’t into unintelligibility. Isabel Taylor beard. He regularly invites other gentlemen taxidermists to join in orgies with his ock of stu ed Two by Jim Cartwright owls. He got a commission to mount ornamental ferrets in the Homerton Auditorium, November 19-22 LAUREBN DAVIS new gym. Put cameras in them. Dir. Nic Pollard and Lauren Davis; HATS FS: Gracious.  ET: He’s had them, too. e fer- owever much I resented the long Swyn Haf, playing a violent manipulator initially, taking time to nd a comfortable rets. But you know what Ludovico Hwalk to Homerton, I greatly ap- and his meek wife, had a single conver- pace; his second role as an aged widower, says in Shakespeare’s lost classic, preciated the walk back. Jim Cartwright’s sation into which to condense years of however, allows him to deliver a tender Two Scoutmasters From Verona, Two is a play that, having been uncorked, torment and con ict. For the most part and amusing monologue which alone don’t you? bene ts from being allowed to breathe. this was achieved to an admirable degree, makes the play worth seeing. e beacon Two presents a series of monologues and and where caricatures were created it was of the evening was fresher MacCallum, IN UNISON: “Never trust a man duologues between the coupled clientele done so intentionally and to great comic who as the heart-warming, gin-swilling called Tim.” of a pub, which is run by a couple whose e ect: Luke Aylward’s outrageous lady’s landlady was variously endearing and marriage has long since grown bitter as man was oddly coupled with Nikki Hill, harrowing but consistently convincing. I ET: Exactly. their pints. An entirely Homerton under- whose performance as the put-upon look forward to seeing more of her in the graduate cast, performances varied from girlfriend was by no means as bold as her next few years. FS: Because they tend to be devi- slightly stilted, perhaps nervous, to some counterpart. is play was remarkable for the short ants. evidently seasoned entertainers. Alongside Haf as an exquisitely time from germination to performance; e couples and singles who frequent drunk “other woman”, four actors shone most of the cast, moreover, hadn’t acted ET: Exactly. the pub appear only brie y and as such through this quiet play: Tilda Stickley since school: Marinner has previously have a limited time during which to and Alex Town as middle-aged couple only done pantomimes and the charm- Catch Prof. To ee in TRAGEDY CIRCUS, Friday 21 – Sunday 22nd present their particular variety of dys- Alice and Frank, young at heart and ing Chaudhry has never acted before. November in the Friends of Peter- function. e challenge for co-directors utterly delightful; and pub-owners Even without these considerations, this house eatre at 7.30pm. Lauren Davis and Nic Pollard was to Gary Marinner and Emily MacCallum. production is worth the long walk. avoid caricatures. Salman Chaudhry and Marinner is a slightly nervous landlord Charlotte Fleming DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): ‘I had to splice in some of my DNA,’ he explains. ‘Because the dino DNA sample I’d found was incomplete. It’s been crazy. For the last week I’ve been studying the DNA so hard I know the DNA forwards and backwards. Which is funny, because DNA is ‘and’ backwards. And my name’s Dan. Oh wait, no, it’s Colin. Forget about it.’ Friday November 21 2008 Join our Reviews team varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Reviews 21

FIRST NIGHT THEATRE REVIEWS ARE PUBLISHED ONLINE AT VARSITY.CO.UK/REVIEWS Analysis  Company should be ashamed  Serviceable elements, but little overall success  Very good show spoilt by a few weak moments  Level of success outweighs its few faults  Among the highlights of the term  One of the best you'll see at Cambridge

Bedroom Farce by Alan Ayckbourn

ADC, November 19-22 Zi n g Ts j e Dir. Max Barton and Joe James Pitt-Rashid; CUADC Freshers’ Week 7: Tennessee Williams  (1911-1983) s the comedy of Bedroom Farce farci- the bed. “Things might get a little bit ends with love-ever-after (apparently). n March the 8th, 1959, in his cally hilarious? Absolutely. Was this hot this evening,” Ernest says to Delia There are also elements of the stagecraft Olate forties, Tennessee Williams Fresher’sI production farcically awful or with a suitably knowing expression on which seem just slightly too random, had this to say: “When I came to my amateur? Absolutely not. This is a show his face. It’s an appropriately farcical such as when the lighting switches writing desk, I found lying on my that takes risks with Alan Ayckbourn’s way to start a play in which the respect- between wild greens, pinks and oranges desk an unmailed letter that I had exploration of the farcical underbelly to able face of British suburban living is with apparently no relation to the night written. I began reading and found suburban middle-class life, and while continually undermined through a se- and daytime of the play itself. At those this sentence. ‘We are all civilized sometimes these risks don’t quite come ries of comic husband- and wife-swaps moments, it’s as if the sheer bizarre- people, which means that we are all off, the end result is still vibrant enough at a house-warming party. ness of Ayckbourn’s script has simply savages at heart but observing a few to have the audience keeling over with Wyld and Haines have a fantastic overwhelmed the production. amenities of civilized behavior.’” The amusement. chemistry on stage that isn’t quite For the most part, however, the playwright continues in his strangely From the moment you enter the matched by any of the other cou- interplay between the actors on stage displaced self-examination: “Then theatre to find a giant-sized bed domi- ples, although Alex Owen plays the is a delight to watch, particularly in I went on to say: ‘I’m afraid that I nating the stage and the actors in the overgrown schoolboy Trevor down the mixing of those characters that observe fewer of these amenities aisles posing in their dressing gowns to a tee and Chris Poel provides some stay motionless in the bed while others than you do. Reason? My back is to and pyjamas as if in front of a bedroom hilarious moments as the bed-ridden rush around following their amorous the wall and has been to the wall for mirror, it’s clear that this production and fatally insecure Nick (“Why me? adventures. Perhaps the best compli- so long that the pressure of my back does things a little bit differently. First Why me?”). Perhaps inevitably after all ment I can offer these freshers is that on the wall has started to crumble on stage are Jessie Wyld as the ever-so- the laughs provided in the opening, the they manage to convey the full delicious the plaster that covers the bricks and posh Delia and Simon Haines as Ernest, production does lull somewhat before absurdity of Ayckbourn’s farce without m or t ar.’” her raunchy husband who can’t quite coming together for a triumphant close, ever becoming farcical themselves. Born in 1911 in Mississippi resist keeping some porn mags under in which the frantic couple-swapping Mike Kielty as Thomas Lanier Williams III, Tennessse was not so-called until 1939, when he moved to New Spring Awakening by Frank Wedekind Orleans — the city which happened

Tim j oh n s to provide the setting for most ADC, November 18-22 of his dramatic work. The son of Cornelius and Edwina, Williams’ Dir. Ben Kavanagh, Michele Murez; CUADC Freshers’ father was a travelling salesman with  abusive tendencies, and his mother edekind’s play has often been psalms set the scene effectively. How- Teething problems abounded: from a ramshackle southern belle in an banned because of its inflam- ever, after this promising opening, fake moustaches falling off to the Safety age that no longer had a use for matoryW content. Set in the 1800s in the production hit problems. In their Curtain rising ten minutes into the her charm—or pretence. In 1938, Germany, the story follows a group of programme notes, the directors wrote: second half; but these will, one assumes, Williams manage to complete his school children, battling with pubescent “We came to our own conclusion that not be repeated. university degree (having attended desires which society forbids them from the play was probably never written It is an understatement to say that at least three universities, and acknowledging. When Melchior Gabor to be performed.” Surely an uncertain rape is difficult to stage but Kavanagh holding dozens of part-time jobs) writes an essay entitled ‘On Copulation’ foundation from which to begin. Spring and Murez made it difficult to watch at the University of Iowa, which is for his best friend Moritz, chaos ensues. Awakening is undoubtedly challenging for the wrong reasons. Melchior raped to this day known for cultivating This production had its strong points: to stage but an admission of defeat in Wengla in a sort of perverted version of the best American creative writers. the dialogues between Melchior and the program notes is surely an inap- musical chairs: when the music stopped By this time, Williams had moved Moritz (played by Rory Stallibrass and propriate response. Wedekind writes they froze while another scene played to New Orleans on a contract from Alex Lass respectively) were wonderful- long, philosophical monologues which out on the opposite side of the stage. the WPA, a New Deal project ly handled, conveying the boys’ child- quickly became wearing. These were Then the music began again and the to stimulate employment in like excitement and curiosity. Katherine hindered by bad delivery: speaking too whole charade repeated itself. Depression Era America. He wrote Jack and Patrick Garety as Melchior’s quickly, shouting incoherently and slur- The play is difficult but it could have dozens of plays, and received two parents were also compelling, creating ring were all common problems. been dealt with much better. Kavanagh Pulitzer prizes. an emotional realism lacking elsewhere Nicholas Gebbet’s lighting design was and Murez aim for “a more expression- But he was always a troubled in the production. Sian Docksey han- ambitious, but its execution seemed ist interpretation”, forgetting that what man, and deeply emotive. In the dled the role of Wendla Bergman well, flawed at points: all too often people the audience want is a good piece of course of Williams’ examination conveying the girl’s simple innocence. were fully lit when silent, while the theatre. Lizzie Davis of his open letter in 1959, (now a The play began well: plainsong actor speaking was half in darkness. frontispiece to Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but originally published in the New York Times), he admits Scenes of Mild Peril to an “excessive attachment to the female members of my family, that Corpus, November 18-22 coaxed me back to life”. Nowhere in Dir. Lucien Young; HATS Cha r lo tt e Ru nc ie Williams’ oeuvre is this attachment, and its mourning, more evident that  in Suddenly Last Summer. And it cenes of Mild Peril, a sketch show exuded great charm and confidence; would raise a laugh. There were, here is here as well that the wall returns. made up of new writing by Cam- Daisy Belfield showed impressive and there, some unforgivably old jokes In the final scene of the play, one bridgeS comedians Tom Ovens, Will comic timing; James Howe excelled in (of the “I’ve been feeling a little queer” of the lead protagonists, Catherine, Hensher, David Isaacs and Lucien pulling slightly stupid-looking faces; Carry On variety), but these were mas- screams redolently, “Sebastian, what Young, was always going to be up Will Hensher was, quite frankly, weird. sively outweighed by some good one- was left of him, looked like a big against it. It’s new writing, and the Occasionally, the comedic ball was liners (“Bitch, stop deconstructing my […] bunch of roses that had been Playroom is the theatrical equivalent dropped. The pace slackened in some Opera!”) and some great sketch ideas torn, thrown, crushed!—against the of Harlem, the audience split by the of the longer sketches, which were in (a prolonged analysis of Snoop Dogg’s blazing white wall…” In this case, stage: during a show you can see an themselves too long. Especially in a rap lyrics stands out particularly). the wall wins. Famously a tribute entire row of watching faces. venue like the Playroom, a show can’t There were some blights to the show. to his sister, Suddenly Last Summer But the show rises to the occasion, afford to let the audience’s attention Sometimes, when the lights dipped touches a deep emotional cord for and is happily full of laughs. A great wander for too long, because then they inexplicably, it seemed the lighting Williams, and the sister he could deal of credit has to go to the perform- start to notice where they are. techie might be drunk. The scene not save. ers, who without exception brought These lapses were only sporadic, changes were just a fraction too long, Brooke Lynn McGowan something enjoyable to the show. though, and at no point did the actors which again slackened the overall pace Perhaps the most credit goes to David lose their sense of energy. What came and stopped the show seeming as slick Brooke is directing ‘Suddenly Last Isaacs, an effortlessly good performer across most of all was a show with lots as it should have done. But there’s no Summer’ at the Corpus Christi who manages to make the eating of of ideas to it. It was impossible to pre- doubt that this is, in all, a very pleasur- Playroom, from Tuesday 25 to a scone genuinely hilarious. But he dict what was around the corner, and able show. It’s even worth going to the Saturday 29 November at 9pm. had great company. Ione Braddick for the most part it was something that Playroom for. James Moran dinosaur Adventure (starts on page 11): ‘Think about it,’ says Colin. ‘I want to get rich. A real life Jurassic Park would be too dangerous, like Jurassic Park showed it would be. But the movie Jurassic Park did great. People love films with dinosaurs. And if you’ve got a real dinosaur who can speak English to the stunt team, then you’re going to be rich!’ He’s interrupted by a phone call from Steven Spielberg. He’s going to be rich. Reviews and Listings Editor: Toby Chadd Friday November 21 2008 22 Magazine: Reviews [email protected] varsity.co.uk

Albums Every Right-Minded Person Should Own MUSIC

Monteverdi Madrigals Book V Trinity College Chapel, Saturday November 15 The Amarilli Ensemble  hese short songs mark Monteverdi’s between cadences and mechanism a terra. The appropriately named Tom Week 7: spanning of the chasm between took over, churning out the dots with Keen remained buoyant throughout RenaissanceT and Baroque music. He minimal phrasing. However this was and his leading was mostly very clear, English Choral Music believed that music must “express man’s noticeably not the case at cadence though his distracting facial expressions Cond. Christopher Robinson; The deepest feelings” and his secular madri- points, which were melt-in-the-mouth and swaying suggested that he would Choir of St John’s Cambridge. gals were the outworkings of this crea- affairs: as one, the singers built tension rather be playing Orfeo than singing tive philosophy. The Amarilli Ensemble through suspensions which would madrigals. hristopher Robinson is one of performed a selection of songs from the resolve enchantingly into the ether. Unfortunately for the Amarilli the foremost interpreters of controversial Quinto Libro, with mixed The significance of this book of mad- Ensemble, the standard of choral per- EnglishC twentieth-century choral success. Christopher Webb’s basso was rigals is that it constitutes a stepping formance in Cambridge is outstand- music; his post at John’s saw the noble throughout, remaining relaxed stone in the transition from the poly- ing. If they had been giving a concert production of several discs of this and unforced even in the lowest register. phonic equality of Renaissance voicing almost anywhere else in Britain they music on the Naxos label. Each disc The canto part, sung by Emily Dickens, towards the Baroque technique of would have impressed the audience, showcases a particular composer, also had moments of blissful purity, ris- giving one voice particular prominence. and yet on Saturday evening they failed and ‘English Choral Music’ is a ing over the colourful harmonic texture This appeared to be lost on this quintet, to captivate in the way which many compilation of the best tracks on with clarity and precision. with certain parts protruding above the other vocal ensembles in Cambridge two CDs. From the outset there were problems main melodic interest at times when do on a regular basis. Their singing And the fact that this is a compila- with wandering intonation, particularly they should have been accompanying. was perhaps good enough to pipe into tion is precisely what makes these in the inner parts, meaning that some It felt that fewer songs should have been a second-rate cathedral gift shop but discs such an achievement. Every- of the composer’s sublime harmonies chosen because energy levels dropped disappointingly it did not do justice thing feels fresh, not only because of were less than special. Concentration at times, only really picking up in Ecco, to these, Monteverdi’s pivotal master- Robinson’s superior interpretation and therefore ensemble tended to lapse Silvio and Ecco, piegando le ginocchia works. Andrew Browning but because of the juxtaposition of well known pieces (Taverner’s The Lamb, Elgar’s Ave Verum, Howells’ Motorhead St Paul’s Service) with more obscure Corn Exchange parts of the repertoire (Hurford’s Litany to the Holy Spirit, Tavener’s Monday November 17 Song for Athene).  Such a genuine overview of and reflection on one of the greatest pe- he best thing about heavy metal dusted off, tattoos, piercings, shaven the spotlight for a superbly gratuitous riods of choral music is no easy task is the song names. One of my heads and quality facial hair abound. guitar solo, and that was about as for Robinson and John’s, especially Tpersonal favourites is AC/DC’s ‘Given There are also about as many women varied as it got. A bassist, guitarist, when combined with such vigorous the dog a bone’: it does exactly what it in the audience as there are people and drummer – that was it; no string performance: former interpretations says on the tin. In fact, as Spinal Tap not wearing black – four. I even spot section here, not even a keyboard. of the same music are infrequently well knew, you can’t be a heavy metal a dwarf standing by the bar wearing a Living up to their label as ‘the loud- overwhelmingly dreary. And band without a ‘Lick My Love Pump’ t-shirt saying – wait for it – ‘grumpy est band in the world’, Motorhead’s whether or not you agree with what number in your back catalogue. dwarf.’ Too good to be true. He wasn’t only less than deafening number Robinson does with several aspects Second song up tonight then, you on stage dancing round Stonehenge came in the encore – ‘Whorehouse of these pieces, his unerring sense know exactly what you’re going to get, later on, but there was a drum kit on a Blues’ - featuring such insightful lyr- of a need for interpretation, to make as Lemmy from Motorhead shouts to huge plinth with 10 cymbals, a dry ice ics as “We light you up real good/We the piece mean something, to tie it the crowd – “put your hands up if you machine and a shed load of lights. gonna hit you like a flash of lightning/ together with a particular theme, is want it louder. This one’s called ‘Rock I could tell you which songs Mo- Just like a bad boy would”. Then so important. out with your Cock out’”. torhead played, but I’m not going to ‘Jailbreak’ and ‘Ace of Spades’ follow The sforzando-piano in the Nunc The crowd at the Corn Exchange pretend that they didn’t all sound the back to back, and Lemmy shouts Dimittis of Howells’ St Pauls Service are every brilliant cliché you’d imag- same. Drummer Mikkey Dee laid in “Don’t forget – we are Motorhead and is, for me, one of the most irritat- ine: there’s a man passed out on the with a drum solo so long that the rest we play rock and fucking roll” before ing of all additions, but here we see floor behind me before the gig even of the band left the stage; eight min- running off in a haze of feedback and John’s almost excruciatingly unique begins, and he’s still there two hours utes and twelve drum sticks thrown in white smoke. Ronseal woodstain. take on a piece too often churned later. The leather jackets and combats the air later they came back on. Later, Bloody brilliant. out note for note (I’ve heard too have been dug out the wardrobe and lead guitar Phil Campbell stands in Henry Donati many performances which prescribe a constant fortissimo throughout the Gloria). And the fact that I care so RACCOO-OO-OON much is perhaps down to the choir’s tenderly personal appraisal of the Raccoo-oo-oon music. The robust and mature sound of Release the Bats; Out Now the John’s choir is nothing short of  astounding for such a young group. n Book II of the Aeneid, Laocoon, a alleys, the thud reverberating through They are from Iowa City. Each one of the men has a pure core senior priest at Troy, seeing the horse the belly of the beast; next, a hoard of Put on a Robocop helmet and re- to their tone, and 2001 - when this standingI ominously at the gates, starts monstrous serpents, of the kind unseen alise you can’t work it at all, but just disc was recorded - saw a phenomenal whispering to his friends, telling them before by any strong-armed Trojan, mess around with it anyway, because crop of trebles, the soloists from which that he thinks something is up. That rise from the sand beneath Laocoon’s now you can tell who is a criminal! are exemplary. It is not often that a he thinks “something is wrong with feet. Stunned by the beasts Poseidon WHOAH, what does this crrrrunch- masterful conductor coincides with that horse”. His fellow Trojans ignore has sent to punish him, his calf muscles ing sound in my ear mean?! Oh, such a choir; the result is very special him, still astonished by the extraor- are gorged by their fangs. By the time that hologram is whirring across the indeed. dinary architecture of the horse, too Doomed Laocoon begins to grasp at screen towards that girl. One Des- The CDs engage with the whole busy wondering how the head, made the swirling coils, his neck and face are oxyephedrine. Two. Is that a siren? gamut of this remarkable period of from countless planks of olive wood, being devoured by three of the snakes, Wait, who is turning that? Seven di- music: the majestic and grandiloquent is supported by the body. So Laocoon, as six more feast on his strapping sons. mensions?! Did they just play an 18 jubilation of Walton’s Coronation Te in order to rouse his naive friends Troy’s men, Priam’s men, interpret this minute track followed by a 16 minute Deum, written for the coronation of from their idle stupor, prays to Apollo omen as a punishment for insulting the track?! WHOAH! Elizabeth II, engages with the tender to bless his lungs to enable a cry so horse, a gift of peace from the Greeks, On this record, you can actually appeal of his Set Me As A Seal, written loud that the whole of Troy can hear and roll the thing through the gates, hear what is going on. You can actu- with a sixty-three layer smashout for a friend’s wedding. Whether as him: “Men of Troy, what madness has disregarding the three corpses, just as ally understand what is going on. masterpiece. an introduction or a rejuvenation of come over you? Equo ne credite!” He they disregarded Laocoon’s wise words. Tight drums. Perfect reverbs, echoes Laocoon, look at all the Raccoo- this music, I defy anyone not to be hurls a spear fashioned in a workshop As night falls the RACCOO-OO- and flangers. That’s all you need. oo-oon that you missed. Andrew engaged by these discs. Toby Chadd down one of Troy’s many uninviting OON ensues!!! Start with a tin cup and a spoon, end Spyrou dinosaur Adventure (starts on page 11): And so Master of Jesus returns the sculptures to the Chapman brothers, and keeps the T-Rex instead. It’s a good swap, because the college saves money on art rental, and grass- cutting, because the T-Rex was actually a herbivore. The T-Rex joins the Facebook group ‘I want to stomp on my college lawn’ – which is fine but when he stomps he really stomps, and the lawns are now in a bit of a state. Friday November 21 2008 Join our Reviews team varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Reviews 23

Take Five LITERARY AND FILM Headlines

Poem of the Week

Landscape in Graduation or perhaps the distant squeak of a swing, calling ‘Who?’, the bent look in your face and the burn-marks on my shoe. Remember the slow roar, above, of aeroplanes, and colour a little god wherever you find it. Each particular space and time took you as far as the illusion All I know is a lock of hair moving through my eyeline like a curled of Alexandria found in the fans or pages of brick, swept cold brown snake, around you, painting you in stone. Something you thought you didn’t know Five of the Best hit you like a blue door swinging outwards over little whirls like pebbles, and my thin-skirted arse on stone. Directly ahead a crane stands “Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster” damp mist... like a queen, glorious in metal, flanked by traffic cones, deep blue. Someone The Sun’s sub-title reads “‘Comic could walk along any of the parapets you see around you, his face the colour of put a live pet in my sandwich,’ says For the first time you’re taken into meaning, distant: that fur jacket, the English sky like a white-wall-papered room left to work itself through the beauty.” The greatest non-story of the catching the plane to Egypt, the race across the quad one afternoon. daytime. twentieth-century turned the other- What will you find when you go back? Only the dawn, pink and emerald like wise obscure Starr into a cult hero. salmon’s gloves, open as pearl, carolling the only thing left to say. Okay. Now run Gravity, both here, and now. Hold to it. Hold to the golden mean “Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic Are they’ve shown you so well in the cutting of a poem or a face into thirds, Atrocious” over the grass they told you not to, the square with the daisies sticking up or in the triangular facet of art or history above those almost fading pillars, I’m assured that this isn’t a fake. Prov- tall as buttercups, the buttercups like dandelions, the dandelions like hay. standing in the unshaping sky proud as a burn, as your limitless options enance unsure, genius proven. Remember always how every white striped pillar went towards the noon, surround it. and reclined “Sticky Buns Kill 31 in China” in the evening-time and morning, subtly as glass; and a bird over our heads, Colette Sensier The possibilities of what this could mean are endless. The rather boring truth, a food poisoning outbreak, makes this headline all the more The Baader-Meinhof Complex genius. Dir. Uli Edel “Bananas in Pyjamas” Starring: Moritz Bleibtreu, Martina Gedeck and Johanna Wokalek The Sun on Michael Jackson. Classic.  “A-Rod Goes Deep, Wang is Hurt” here are moments of The Baader- prominence in West Germany in the plot isn’t interesting, but any moments “Wang pitched five scareless innings Meinhof Complex when it could 1970s. The film contextualises for an of intrigue are more down to historical before spraining his right foot running Tbe any film about disaffected youth. audience unfamiliar with its historical incident rather than the effort of the the bases, and Alex Rodriguez hit a We see vicious domestic arguments paradigm, presenting us with a rapid filmmakers. Essentially everything that three-run homer,” Chris Duncan, who between alienated children and their montage of events around the world is known about the Baader Meinhof wrote the accompanying article, tries parents, student rallies with passionate which provided the apparent reason for Gang has been crammed into two and in vain to explain. but naive calls for revolution, and track- such extremism: the assassination of a half hours, with little human interest ing shots of cars racing down crowded Che Guevara, Martin Luther King and or character history. Not even with autobahns, blasting out the clichéd Robert Kennedy, continued atrocities the principle founders of the group, Five of the Worst strains of ‘My Generation’. However, in Vietnam, as well as a German media Andreas Baader, Ulrike Meinhof , and the film rapidly descends into a much perceived to be biased and overwhelm- Gudrun Ensslin are we given anything “Vaughan the Prawn is Battered” darker realm, becoming a claustro- ingly right wing. The montage could more than cursory examination of their The Sun. Where else? Last summer’s phobic, bloodily violent study of the stand as a microcosm of the rest of the motivations. It is not that we sympa- Headingley Test against the South inner workings of a militant terrorist film; the soundtrack playing over the thise with the gang members; they Africans where we were royally group, with all the rivalries, factions, top is painfully obvious, the clips are seem variously directionless, vain, and thrashed. But this headline really is self-doubt and self-propagandising that clumsily put together, and its inclusion mildly racist, but the film only touches a shocker. And who eats battered entails. is entirely predictable. on this glancingly. Perhaps there is a prawns anyway? The plot essentially follows the key The Baader-Meinhof Complex is fear of the audience’s indifference to members of the Red Army Faction, or a deeply flawed film. There is no the subject when we discover that the “No Knobbie Bobby Keeps Jobby” Baader Meinhof Gang, a left-wing ter- imagination in the cinematography, protagonists are not glamorous revolu- The Sun is becoming a recurring rorist group (or as they termed them- and little evidence of originality in the tionaries but simply bored bourgeoisie. feature. Here they tastefully summa- selves ‘urban guerrillas’) who came to screenplay. This is not to say that the Victoria Beale rise the travesty that was the failure to sack a re-gendered policeman.

Hunger “Dr Fuchs Off to the Antarctic” The Daily Mail. At least make it a bit Dir. Steve McQueen subtle, a bit ambiguous, a bit “oh-isn’t- Starring: Michael Fassbender, Stuart Graham it-funny-that-this-headline-could-  mean-something-else.” irst of all, Hunger is good. It is, in an easy film to watch, and is a work to be which they lived (the audience is spared “Gotcha” fact, very good. But I wouldn’t feel it admired, rather than enjoyed. But what nothing in the depiction of starvation) The Sun. Again. Falklands War, we sink rightF to have my fortnightly review go by admiration it deserves. there is some kind of humanity buried in a ship killing thousands. And the Sun’s without some kind of acidic statement, McQueen has worked primarily as a it, and this, beautifully, shines through. writers go wild. and while I can’t direct it at the film, I video artist before this, and his work has For despite an engrossing twenty- can just as well direct it at the advertising always had a rather flirtatious relationship minute-long discussion of the morality of “It’s Atomic Bombs” programme preceding it – specifically, with film, most notably with his recrea- a hunger strike and the politics involved The Americans can do it too. The Orange’s I Am Who I Am campaign. tion of a Buster Keaton film in the short (filmed in a single take), the film refuses headline of Richmond’s weekly news- What, on God’s green earth, does this Deadpan, a work which – rather unfairly to take a side, and while its narrative paper The Villager after the Ameri- think it’s trying to do? Every time I see – seems to deny Keaton’s original of the weight lies behind Sands’ story, there cans had ended the war by butchering that gibbering oaf pedalling away on his artistic merit it deserves. Anyway. Hunger are portrayals, too, of the prison officers. 200,000 Japanese. bike, dimly gurgling something about is a pleasant surprise following this, as It is impossible to call these depictions his Grandad’s Mum’s Sister’s Aunt’s Dog’s while McQueen has the unmistakeable sympathetic or even-handed: they are tricycle he got when he was seven, I and mesmeric eye of a video artist, this merely human. As the film’s title suggests, Competition have the intense urge to daub the walls is a film. The plot revolves around the the complexity of the characters actions of Orange’s marketing department with last six weeks of the life of Bobby Sands, is broken down into basic conceptions of Next week’s topic is Endings: send one excrement. Which is, coincidentally, one who died after 66 days of hunger strike humanity. And that is the film’s achieve- each of your worst and best to reviews@ of the tactics employed by imprisoned in 1981. And whilst the film features ment: it has none of the coldness of ‘video varsity.co.uk by midday on Monday members of the I.R.A. in Steve Mc- multiple, animal depictions of the abuse art’ – it is, as cinema should be, a monu- 10th, and you could win a pair of first- Queen’s film Hunger. It is by no means of prisoners, and the squalid conditions in ment to human emotion. Fred Rowson night tickets to the ADC mainshow. dinosaur Adventure (starts on page 11): ‘What’s your name?’ asks the Master of Jesus. ‘What a good idea, insert name here. I shall make you one of my angels in heaven.’ The power has to got to his head already. He tells the Chapman brothers that, in the light of the T-Rex, he thinks their sculptures could do better. When they say they don’t believe him, he charges them with blasphemy and then charges them £2000 for wasting his time. Fashion Editors: Joanna Della-Ragione and Ben Margereson Friday November 21 2008 24 Magazine: Fashion [email protected] varsity.co.uk

Modelling by Slavica Delevic; Photography by Zing Tsjeng; Styling by Joanna Della- Ragione and Ben Margereson

Arrogant Cat, £179

DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (STARTS ON PAGE 11): e T-Rex is looking for some dinosaurs to be friends with, but he can’t nd any. Gradually he comes to realise that he is the last of his kind, resurrected 65 million years too late. Wracked with loneliness, he tries to kill himself. But he’s so big and powerful that his e orts just result in snapping a rope, breaking a razor blade, and derailing a train, so he gives up and gets on with it. Friday November 22 2008 Write for the Magazine varsity.co.uk [email protected] Magazine: Fashion 25 Immaculate Conception

Be divinely inspired by the Cambridge Women’s Society and their selection of beautiful dresses for this coming party season.

John Charles, £245 dinosaur Adventure (starts on page 11): ‘It’s just one of those things that T-Rexes do,’ Colin elaborates. You follow the footprints to a dinosaur in the shape of a T-Rex. ‘Another fact about T-Rexes,’ says Colin, ‘is that they are in the shape of a T-Rex. So I reckon that this must be the T-Rex.’ It is! And when it bites Colin’s head off, it comes as no surprise that the teeth-marks left on the stump of his neck are in the shape of a T-Rex. Magazine Editor: Daniel Cohen; Arts Editor: Anna Trench; Features Editor: Rob Peal Friday November 21 2008 26 Magazine: Arts and Features [email protected] varsity.co.uk

Great Works Of Art In Cambridge The Day That #17: Extase by Mary Kelly Changed My World New Hall / Murray Edwards n 1986, just after Mary Kelly com- black with satirical passages in white text pleted a year-long artist fellowship in which women discuss fashion. sponsoredI by New Hall and Kettle’s Yard, The images have a slightly ominous New Hall managed to buy Extase, a part quality: dark over light backgrounds, the of Kelly’s larger series of works entitled clothing appears almost like a photo- Corpus. The purchase helped establish graphic negative on a light box. The small New Hall’s now well known collection of touches of red paint Kelly adds to the im- art by women artists. Meanwhile, Kelly ages are also slightly unsettling. As the im- went on to become a highly respected ages seem to float in their frames, the fact conceptual artist, exhibiting at Tate of their display is emphasised; they appear Modern and The Whitney Museum as specimens or textbook illustrations. of American Art, among other major This impression is enhanced (and made Week 7: I realised I collections. slightly comical) by the small graphic In Extase, as with the other pieces of alterations Kelly adds. In the first panel, could help Corpus, Kelly addresses the notion of female a large check mark and the word ‘extase’ hysteria through visual and literary repre- appear underneath the image. Similarly, t was 1958 and I was nineteen sentations of women’s fashion. The titles of in the second panel there is a caption that Iyears old. I’d got a job at my old the five pieces in the series (Extase, Erotisme, reads ‘fig. 2’ with two arrows pointing primary school before starting Supplication, Menace, and Appel) are the up to the image. Thus, harnessing the university and, with absolutely no “passionate” attitudinal components of historicizing power of public display, Kelly training, was appointed the only female hysteria described by J.M. Charcot, proposes that women’s fashion and the ‘teacher’ in charge of a class of fifty a sometime teacher of Freud. Corpus and gender identity it helps to construct are eight-year-olds. Ludicrous! It could Kelly’s work in general have been described historical and cultural rather than a natu- never happen these days. It was (rather generally) as a critique of psychoa- ral phenomenon. At the same time, the tough, but I enjoyed it and assumed nalysis for its partial perpetuation of the idea work reminds us more eerily of a world I’d pursue a career in teaching. of a specifically female hysteria. in which “female attributes” and gender Some of the kids were quite Extase, perhaps, does more than just identity are taken as subjects of purely naughty and this particular little that. The work is made up of six 48x36 natural science. Studying the work is then boy was one of the difficult lads. For inch panels, which, seen from afar, both a means of enlightenment and en- some reason, we began to form a alternate rhythmically between light slavement. The work alternates (and again relationship; we’d chat after lessons, and dark, image and text. The odd- the seemingly superficial alternation of and he’d bring in things to show numbered panels contain screen-printed the panels read in sequence is important) me, his favourite books and toys. images of women’s blouses over largely between lighthearted parody and a more One day after school, his mother white backgrounds. The even panels are serious indictment. Jon Conolly came in to speak to me – a very unusual occurrence back then. She said she wanted to thank me for the interest I had taken in her son. His behaviour had deteriorated since losing his father, and no other teachers had paid him any atten- Games & puzzles tion. I had made a big difference to who he was, to her ability to handle him. I didn’t know I could help some- Varsity Crossword no. 493 Sudoku one like that, and it was quite thrill- ing to be told so. It was an impor- The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 tant boost to my confidence, more condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits 1 notes (10) through 9 exactly once. or less non-existent at the time. 22 For every time begins firm and It didn’t immediately change my bold (4) intended career path; I still wanted 24 Those who spy Simple Simon infil- to be a teacher. But because of that 9 10 1 6 8 9 trating leaderless minders (8) boy and his mother’s feedback, 25 My head to follow umpire or to 11 5 2 1 3 I had the self-assurance to help regroup (6) students who were unhappy in their 26 Prose writer’s paper is German (8) 8 9 7 6 first year at university. Many used 12 13 27/3 5 1 2 4 to come to me, to cry on my shoul- Stroke a fish, we hear music by the der and tell me their problems. 14 Beatles (6,4) 6 4 1 7 The two experiences led me to realise that I could achieve more in 15 Down 2 4 9 6 terms of helping others in a one on 7 8 4 2 one situation, rather than in a class 16 17 1 See 6 of fifty. And I thought I would 2 Strong wine after television blindly 9 5 3 8 prefer to work with bolshy, dif- 18 takes you far away in an instant (8) 3 7 6 5 ficult people; I like a bit of spark. I 3 See 27 Across / MADE BY G aret h Moo re www.puzzlemix.com eventually arrived at the probation 19 20 5 A judgement made in haste: al- service, which aims to supervise ready pregnant? (12) The Varsity Scribblepad offenders with a view to help- 21 22 6/11/1 ing them change their behaviour, Scabs resplendently brought Ap- whilst protecting the community. 23 ple ridiculously successful record In a career spanning just under (3,7,6,6,4,4) thirty years, I worked with indi- 24 25 7 To keep undercover, don’t tell the viduals and their families, and did truth quietly (3,3) my best to help. 8 The most subtle in famously estab- I retired in 1992, after a challeng- lished centre (6) ing but fulfilling career: one that I 11 See 6 26 27 might never have started, had that 14 Breast mate, best mate (5,5) mother not given me the confi- 16 Strange item is explosive; lethal, dence to trust my instincts, and the after a while (4,4) desire to help others as I’d helped Across 17 Food chronicler? (3,5) her son. 19 Aim towards a church top (6) 1 This university briefly to examine 12 Crazy parties smell, by the way (4) 20 What a joke does, as interrupted by Contributor: Cath Sell, the most attractive (6) 13 Identical to diseased mouse-hog? inspiration (6) Chief Probation Officer for 4 Strange seal all over the mail could No (10) 23 You and I commonly to chart Cambridgeshire, 1978 – 1992 be John or Mark, for instance (8) 15 Thin duck just getting away (6,6) flavours (4) 9 German accent curiously mutual 18 Mass earsplitting, for instance, ear- Last issue’s solutions Interview and article by (6) splitting (4,8) Moya Sarner. 2 9 6 8 4 1 3 7 5 6 4 2 1 5 7 5 10 Light accomplishment she ques- 21 Severe reversal cut short follow- 3 1 8 6 5 7 2 9 4 1 5 1 4 7 4 2 7 5 4 9 2 3 6 1 8 tions vocally (8) ing segmented bee sounding long Set by Hisashi 6 3 1 5 8 9 4 2 7 2 3 6 7 5 1 4 Would you like to be interviewed for 9 2 7 4 3 6 8 5 1 4 5 7 5 6 5 2 4 8 5 1 7 2 9 3 6 2 7 6 2 1 1 6 this column? Please contact Moya Answers to last week’s crossword (no. 492) 8 4 9 2 1 5 7 6 3 5 6 3 4 1 2 2 Across: 6 Salsa, 7 Articles, 10 Orchard, 11 Pillage, 12 Martini, 13 Disturb, 14 Conjunction, 19 Anti-war, 21 Eternal, 23 Grammar, 25 Shiatsu, 26 Scenario, 27 Obese. Down: 1 Electric, 2 Safari, 3 Hard liquor, 4 Stop, 5 Deja vu, 6 5 6 3 7 9 8 1 4 2 Sarner (mts31) Storms, 8 Colossi, 9 Verbs, 13 Declension, 15 Newsman, 16 Nineties, 17 Cargo, 18 Clause, 20 Thatch, 22 Editor, 24 Rare. 1 7 2 3 6 4 5 8 9 2 1 5 6 5 3 5 Make Connections A career at Booz & Company demands world class thinking

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The Varsity100 is published at the start of every calendar year and aims to list the 100 most talented students at the university. The list is inevitably subjective. However, you can help make it as objective as possible by nominating as many appropriate undergraduates or graduates as you know. Friday November 21 2008 Opinionated? varsity.co.uk [email protected] Comment 29

e Varsity Debate Should Cambridge advocate animal testing? Last week, Oxford University nally opened their controversial new animal testing laboratory. Should plans for the construction of Europe’s largest animal testing centre be allowed to go ahead in Cambridge?

Sita James Yes Dinanauth Hooper No

Preventing animal testing is detrimental Animals should not be targets for any act to the public and nonsensical of barbarism which may yield information

here is always uproar of the extreme kind reason to deviate from this method - working he central argument in favour of animal test- seconds. Over 7000 experiments were performed associated with research institutes, scien- with distressed or disturbed animals is counter ing runs that it is at the forefront of medical upon dogs. is is not mere mawkish, emotive Ttists and their supposed desire to play God with productive. I am not denying that there are Tresearch and is beyond replacement. is results squeamishness: it is obvious that there is a double everything from embryos to primates. Oxford cases where animals do su er and that scientists in predictable self-perpetuation: scientists have standard at play here. Around 4000 primates are and Cambridge are, of course, no exception to would prefer a feasible alternative, but I do deny seemingly expended more e ort on protecting experimented upon per annum. ese creatures this. A er several arson attacks on the institu- that such alternatives currently exist, and the the current state of a airs than on innovating be- are a mere 5% distinct from us on a genetic level, tion and an injunction taken out to ban activists advancement of human health should not be yond them. Cosmetics companies who suggested can achieve the linguistic acumen of a three-year- from protesting in the area, Oxford University delayed for this reason. that medical research was equally indispensable old and display emotional sophistication which announced last week that its animal laborato- Animal rights protesters also state that re- have coped perfectly well now that testing is can not be waved o as mere personi cation. ries were complete and will be fully operational search is an unproductive waste of money, time outlawed for them. Although for medical science e best known advocate of animal rights is by 2009. However Cambridge University has and animal lives. Not only is this ludicrously there are far more complex issues than discover- Peter Singer, a worthy contemporary representa- repeatedly failed to overcome such activist op- untrue, but an ironic and hypocritical statement ing skin irritants, even the eld of neuroscience tive, but his 1975 book ‘Animal Liberation’ was position. from people who I am sure have bene ted from has seen developments in brain imaging that far from the rst work to argue for them. In Twenty-two million pounds allotted by e animal research in the past in some form or render sawing open monkey craniums frequently 1798 Jeremy Bentham hopefully suggested that Wellcome Trust to the building of Europe’s larg- another. redundant. Yet it continues, and indeed, is on “the day may come when the rest of the animal est primate lab in Cambridge had to be returned Animal testing is used in biomedical research, the increase. e use of human cell cultures also creation may acquire those rights which never to the Trust’s fund in 2004 a er planning was product safety testing and education. With supersedes some vivisection, while Oxford’s could have been withholden from them but by rejected, twice. Activists succeeded in causing regards to education, animal vivisection is part Future of Humanity Institute have announced the hand of tyranny.” Although the opening of enough upheaval that the local district council of medical and veterinary training, so an attempt at “Whole Brain Emulation”, the Oxford labs makes this seem a yet more refused planning permission due to the overall anyone who has ever been treated by but little has been done to foster these remote possibility the arguments made for disturbance they would cause alone. a doctor who trained using animal instances of progress: a minuscule frac- animal liberation remain strong. Preventing animal testing is, research has bene ted from its use, tion of the government’s additional All humans are granted more without doubt, detrimental just as those who have pets who £15 billion funding announced rights than animals while to the public and nonsensi- have been treated using vaccines or in September was allocated to not all (such as infants) are cal. Scienti c research medicine have bene ted from animal development of non-animal intellectually superior. ere- at Cambridge and testing. research. is is especially fore, “the question is not, can similar institutions What is o en concerning as animal test- they reason? Can they talk? but, is of signi cant forgotten is ing can prove wasteful: can they su er?” If there is capacity importance to the that animal great progress seemed to su er then there is worth in health of all man- testing im- to be being made in the protection from it, regardless of kind. e absence proves the lives of animals as well as humans. development of a malaria the peripheries of species. of a vaccine or Treatments for rabies, anthrax, tuberculosis vaccine tested upon primates Alternatively, either humans cure has just as much and feline immunode ciency virus would never only for it to prove entirely have intrinsic worth that is held impact on society as have been possible without animal sacri ce. ine ective upon humans. by no other species or humanity’s the presence of one and Even pet food is tested on animals. Far from arguing for the advancement of unique traits hold it apart from all by denying our scientists With regard to human history, the smallpox human knowledge ham- sted vivisection other form of animal. e rst is the tools they need, we vaccine, which was only made possible by the advocates promote using outmoded meth- a non-falsi able pronouncement are hindering their e orts work Louis Pasteur carried out on chickens, ods instead of the latest technology. of pure prejudice, only justi - to improve the lives of both saved the lives of thousands of people. It was also Irrespective of the strength of their able using religious anointment; such as humans and animals in the future. Louis Pasteur, an avid animal tester, who devel- claims of potential progress, though, such the Abrahamic myth that humans were made in e activists’ emotive verse has been rehashed oped the rabies vaccine. e rst steps in organ concerns are irrelevant if the practices they God’s image. Such ancient tales have no place in so many times that it’s become a cliché; tear- transplantation and developing the electrocar- advocate are unethical. Every piece of scienti c the ethical consideration of science. Neither does jerking stories of how Flu y the kitten or Felix the diogram were perfected on dogs and the vaccine research yields information, but many are unac- prejudice of any kind, and to suggest that privi- Macaque monkey were drugged, chained, starved, for polio was only made possible a er testing on ceptable: the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, where leges are earnt purely through being homo sapi- or in some way injured before having their heads mice and monkeys. Without animals we would black men infected with the eponymous disease ens is a clear example of species based bigotry. sliced open. is is accompanied by the gori- not have insulin, antibiotics, human vaccines and were withheld penicillin and studied untreated, Reason trumped by preconception. e other po- est language possible and a gruesome picture to drugs which treat illnesses that have high mortal- the notorious Stanford Prison Experiment or sition is scarcely superior: if characteristics of the convince anyone watching that scienti c laborato- ity rates such as cancer and HIV. the sociopathic, twin-obsessed butchery of Dr average human such as sapience, high sentience ries are indeed the Guantanamo Bay of the animal ere is almost no one alive today, whether Mengele. All these are obviously intolerable, or mastery of complex linguistics are truly all world. Attention-grabbing it may be, but this dis- for or against animal testing, who has not been despite all being within the boundaries of the that raises our species above the others it would torted view is unbelievably far from the everyday treated, or had their lives and the lives of those local law. is is because scientists are not placed inevitably follow that those of us lacking these reality of working with animals in the lab. closest to them a ected in a bene cial way beyond ethics, regardless of the data they might traits are debased to the level of the rest. Animals Most scientists at Cambridge and other thanks to the practice of testing on animals. come across were they allowed to bloody their would become their equal. is would include institutions adhere to strict guidelines demand- e crucial point is that those opposing ani- hands unfettered. infants, the senile and the severely mentally ing that animals are not treated with unneces- mal testing who have reaped its rewards are self- But although this is broadly accepted with handicapped. 3.1 million of these groups and 3.1 sary cruelty. Technicians who work with mice, ishly trying to deny the same bene ts to future regards to humans, animals remain unprotected million animals would mean one and the same. rodents, guinea pigs and even monkeys follow generations whose lives could be greatly a ected targets for any act of barbarism which may yield Any who can accept this harsh vision earns my strict protocols intended to minimize animal by a cure for cancer, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s information. Home o ce statistics for 2007 shocked respect, but among those who cannot su ering and cause them as little pain, discom- or HIV depending on what research we do or reveal the consequences: over 3.1 million animals and who continue to advocate animal experimen- fort or disturbance as possible in the context do not allow to take place at institutions like were used in British animal tests. On average tation, an absence of intellectual thoroughness is of the experiment. Most researchers have no Cambridge University now. an animal dies in a British laboratory every 12 clear. Far better to protect all that su er. Comment Editors: Clementine Dowley and Olivia Sudjic Friday November 21 2008 30 Comment [email protected] varsity.co.uk

e Soapbox Natalie Szarek She wasn’t asking for it Popular conceptions of rape wrongly focus on the stereotypical “alleyway” rapist

walk through a woman’s life is our focus onto the harsh realities of struct her life, care for any children ment of responsibility of violence. an experience in the subtleties rape: acquaintances, family members, and heal in nancial security, safety Our society is so used to placing the ofA everyday violence: sexual violence boyfriends, husbands. Until we do and dignity. Yet our political system responsibilities of violence on women is a reality of such magnitude that it this we will not be able to re-shi is one that fails to support women, that the government is unwilling to characterises womanhood. is is not the focus from the “victim” to the shockingly demonstrated by the take action when the woman is un- to say that all women are victims, but aggressor, a shi which is essential for No Recourse restrictions on public able to call upon the blanket protec- women in our society are put into a addressing the root causes of violence funding. Under UK law, women with tions of full citizenship. Only very position of victimhood. Our society’s against women rather than managing insecure immigrant status, includ- slowly are the courts moving past the relationship with sexual violence is the symptoms. It is also an ultimately ing on spousal or student visas, are prejudices which still characterise further perverted by the inexcusable empowering realisation: by encourag- denied access to housing or bene ts popular conceptions of violence: “she Week 7: burden of responsibility placed on the was asking for it”, “she was drunk/ woman. Girls are told from an early irting”, “she was a prostitute”, “they David Lowry on age to avoid going out alone; we carry had sex before”. All of these reac- Big Names rape alarms, practise self-defence and “In order to e ectively address the root causes tions to sexual violence stem from an get walked home. (All necessary, but unwillingness to place responsibility all placing responsibility on the wom- of violence against women, men need to for rape prevention where it belongs; o university is an island, but an). Yet when the majority of violent on the aggressor. Cambridge (as is o en noted) crime is committed by someone the step up to their responsibilities – and indeed In order to e ectively address Ncertainly seems more archipelagian woman knows, it is di cult to strike the root causes of violence against than most. is sceptr’d isle attracts the balance between taking necessary women, men need to step up to their a particular breed of Robinson precautions and avoiding a culture of many are” responsibilities - and indeed, many Crusoes, determined to impress fear in which women feel safe neither are. is doesn’t mean relying on an upon these sands the mark of their at home nor outside. We must get to outdated chivalric protectiveness: it accomplishments. Prospero-like, the roots of sexual violence, focussing means challenging violence towards they conjure great storms of public- on its causes and not just its conse- ing men to realise their potential as even when escaping violence in the women in language and behaviour, ity, leaving the rest of us, the naïve quences. activists against violence, they can home. us a bleak choice is present- actively asking for consent and sup- Neopolitans, down at the full fathom Women’s rights activists made this challenge the stereotypical masculini- ed to women- either to remain in an porting women’s organisations in ve of underachievement. at’s leap many years ago: men can stop ties which are ultimately harmful to abusive situation or risk destitution their campaigns in support of women. right, I’m talking about that sadly rape. is is their duty, born of the men and women. and homelessness. It also means taking the critique of unendangered species: the ‘Cam- realisation that rape is not a product A paradigm shi , though necessary, Such a stark scenario appears out of society inwards, and examining how bridge celebrity’. of women walking home alone late will be a slow transition. At this mo- place in our society: we like to think ideas of “masculinity” within each From those at the top of Foot- at night; it is a product of aggressors ment we urgently need compassionate that our legal system is consistent individual manifest in behaviour lights, Blues rugby and CUSU to who are more o en than not male. treatment, well-funded shelters, an with the ethos of the welfare state and which contributes in violence against those who simply wear a lot of Jack is is not to say that all men are aware police force and an education with international law. So how does women. Eliminating violence against Wills, the very institutions of Cam- rapists. But popular conceptions of system and political culture which our society justify refusing to help women in our society is a mammoth bridge seem to engender this ridicu- rape are skewed - focussing on the take the necessary steps of protection, hundreds of women each year, forcing task, but it is not unachievable. Each lous hero-worship of mere people. stereotypical “alleyway” rapist or vio- prevention and justice. A woman local government o cials and police individual must take part, and I urge Perhaps you know one. If you do, lent psychopathic stranger. However must be supported a er experiences to turn away women in need? is more men to acknowledge their roles you will understand the pain of the disturbing it is, we need to re-shi of violence so that she may recon- situation results from the misplace- in this struggle. following admission: I know at least three. People so egotistical that they will continue discussing themselves, their triumphs and their legacy long a er I’ve devised a complex and structurally sound matchstick Rob mechanism supporting both eyelids. Peal People who administrate at least for- e thrill of pur-chase ty Facebook groups telling me where and when I can next see them being sensational. People against whom, Money can make you a killing but it can’t buy you love were it not for all this post-Sachsgate self-censorship, I would happily let he MasterCard adverts have long and GDP up to £20,000 a year, but af- lives without a uence. April which covered the nationaliza- y a volley of four-lettered lexemes. struck me as an unrivalled insight ter that there is little correlation at all. e year-on-year nancial growth tion of Northern Rock and the Bear You probably get the point and Tinto the received wisdom of our age. A Friends, family, hobbies and even of the postwar west has a sad con- Stearns implosion, city workers took have come up with the following barrage of purchases ( owers, a meal altruism have a crucial a ect on happi- clusion. We have consumed more home the exact same bonuses of the criticisms: a) aren’t you just bitter be- and a taxi) culminate in a mawkish lin- ness. However, our commercial culture and more and driven the health of previous year – a total of £16bn. is cause you’re a talentless fraud? and gering shot of a ‘priceless’ moment of has made us blind to this variation of our environment further into the is more than treble the amount of b) isn’t fame a necessary corollary of emotion (a kiss on your rst date). e factors in our well being as we become ground, all without the slightest iota of bonuses in 2003, which totaled a pif- any kind of constructive activity? a) cynical structure of MasterCard’s ubiq- increasingly xated on lthy lucre as improvement in our happiness or well- ing £5bn. In the midst of a looming Obviously. b) No it isn’t. Let us, for a uitous advert formula is designed to be the sole ticket to ful lment. e hor- being. e reason for this is expecta- recession, Bob Diamond, the president moment, deconstruct the ‘Cam- misleading. e message is a complete ri c case of Christopher Forster this tion. William James, the American and head of investment banking at bridge celebrity’ and say what they non-sequitur; the catchphrase tells you summer demonstrated the extreme psychologist, wrote at the turn of last Barclays was paid £18m in bonuses don’t want us to realise: they aren’t the kiss is priceless, but the advert tells consequences of what psychologists century that our self-esteem equals our and options. actually famous. Last year, only 12% you it costs a taxi, a meal and a bunch If this recession is to have any silver of polled students recognised the of owers. So whereas the surface mes- lining, it will be in ridding our society President of the Union. Surely the sage is that ‘the best things in life are of the common perception that greed dream job for any budding lumi- free’, the actual meaning is that they “It’s not surprising that our pretensions and is morally permissible. And there will nary. It is only by treating themselves are very expensive. be a very easy way to measure when a conversation topic than a person Our generation su ers from an this happens. In 1989, the Sunday that these individuals create the aura desires leave us disappointed with our lot.” unprecedented status anxiety, where Times published its rst “Rich List” of of fame which allows them to shove the weight of our MasterCard is seen the top 100 richest people in Brit- in at the Sainsbury’s express queue. as the ultimate ticket to happiness and ain. is odious supplement is the erefore, let us, their mediocre respect. However, for a certain sector last word in our fascination with the minions, conquer the pantheon they of Western society, the most salient have begun to term ‘a uenza.’ e success divided by our pretensions. For super rich, and our impassive attitude have created, by squatting. Hold lesson that we can learn from this evening before the baili s were due youngsters who have grown up being towards gross inequality. Year in, year forth with Ciceronian eloquence recession is this: money is not the sole to arrive, Forster killed his wife and fed with adverts, watching MTV Cribs out, it has cemented the idea in middle about just how good crying in Gar- means of happiness, and believing it daughter and burnt down his Shrop- and drooling over the press’ veneration England that money equates to hap- die’s was, expound upon the virtues to be so is a sure route to unhappiness. shire mansion. is was preceded two of Abramovich’s yacht, it’s not surpris- piness. When the Sunday Times stop of your Wikipedia-based essay and And who makes up this sector? Quite summers previously by the case of ing that our pretensions and desires publishing this paean to the greed-is- push rhetoric to its extremes whilst simply, everyone on a salary of more Neil Entwistle, an English computer leave us constantly disappointed with good age of opulence, the world will be outlining the sheer ugliness of the than £20,000 a year. Measuring happi- programmer living in Massachusetts. our lot. a far happier place. person that you can’t remember ness is a surprisingly accurate and con- A er various get-rich-quick internet e icons of modern mammon wor- Two quarters of economic downturn pulling in Cindie’s. If we all over- sistent science. In his book Happiness schemes had fallen through, and with ship are the super rich. Surely the most o cially spell recession. But if that is in ate the balloon of braggadocio Richard Layard states that whereas real debts racking up, he killed his wife and shocking aspect of the recent recession to mean less consumption, and less it will burst, bringing us down income per head has almost tripled newborn daughter before eeing to is the lack of moral outcry against the opulence in our lives, we should not to a lovelier world, just as full of since the war, levels of happiness have England. Both men were so condi- reckless greed of bonus culture which worry. Beautiful scenery, time spent achievement, but with less irritat- hovered around the same level. When tioned to equate money with happi- played such a key part in creating this with friends, sex, singing and sleep: ing egomania. And fewer Facebook compared internationally, there is a ness that they were more willing to kill nancial disaster. O cial statistics the best things in life are free. So stop groups. anks. strong correlation between happiness their families than to consider living show that in the nancial year up to worrying about your MasterCard. Friday November 21 2008 Opinionated? varsity.co.uk [email protected] Comment 31

Spk yr brains

Chatroom chinwag between Wi Wendies and Broadband Brians

Week 7: Ringo Starr

Some people have not understood my warning issued with peace and love. I am still receiving items to sign and it is not fair for the council who must dispatch forkli trucks to my house to li the waste, which I am too busy to remove myself. Also note bene, i cannot sign dog shit, it is not the right consistensy. Ringo, Undisclosed Address Posted Wed 15:33:02

You can sign my cock. Championslug, Little Mousington Posted Wed 15:45:38

ANNA TRENCH Yeah. elvis NEVER DID DRUGS. HE TOOK PERSCRIPTION DRUGS and maybe once a month he had a cigieret. Youre just a Charlotte miserable, ungrateful old Vic- tor Meldrew. I would send all my Runcie Bark Obama fan mail to Yasser Arrafat, but he is dead. So what will I do now ? vava_Shroom, Bucks From presidential election to puppy selection Posted Wed 17:06:23

Come on guys lets leave him alone n January 20 2009, millions of of the President’s other decisions, so stay clear of country-speci c pets, and nomic times, and, in any case, a poor to potter around his garden and Oeyes will be glued to TVs across Obama desperately needs something anyway as a British citizen I already little scru y rescue dog would look watch Countdown like any other the world as the most hyped politi- with broad appeal and a sharp bite. hate the whole “America’s Lapdog” nice on the Obama Christmas card. It pensioner. cal gure in history enters the White Dog lovers tell me that poodles thing without it taking a turn for the would also avoid the inbred mine eld Crabmeat_pasty07, Lyme House. Not that young and, like, don’t shed their literal. of pedigree dogs born with no hips or Posted Wed 17:08:01 totally hip Change guy, but his second abundant hair Next on the list: preferably a rescue brains too big for their skulls. We all in command – the one with four paws and would dog. ere’s a line between cute and saw that BBC2 documentary – would Clearly mail is not the only thing and a tail. Is it worrying that the most be an ideal sickening, and Obama barged straight Obama really want to be associated being tossed at Ringo’s place. eshed-out of all Obama’s policies so compromise over it when he said that if the family with eugenics? Although I suppose it Tosser shouldnt have wanted to far is the one about the dog? for the family, adopted a pet it would probably be “a might just help him to win over those be famous in the rst place. i slept We know more about the dog-elect but regrettably mutt. Like me!” Heart-warming stu , pesky red states. with chris moyles last night, thats than we do about Obama’s economic they do have but it’s an interesting point. Not on the list but per- how bad I want it. im glad i sent policy. But although the fascination an unfortunate Shunning haps the most important my bag of shit. with the puppy might seem extreme, association with the issue the incoming admin- Shesagogetter, Norwood in fact America’s always been odd in the celebrity istration needs to consider is Posted Wed 17:47:17 this way. Harry S. Truman said that collect-a-canine the matter of what to call the “Dogs are as necessary to the welfare habits of Paris, pup. Previous Presidents have Mean Mr Mustard, You can’t of the country as Wall Street and the Britney, Nicole etc. o en gone for names appropri- do that, Mailman, Ringo is now railroads.” e biography of George Besides, the breed ate to the task in hand - Gerald threatening people on Ebay also. Bush Senior’s dog, Millie, has sold has more than a whi Ford had a retriever called Liberty, Peace and Love if you dont remove more copies than the autobiography of of the cheese-eating sur- Ulysses S. Grant’s Newfoundland was this Ebay item:12344568, the boys Bush himself. If they could, Americans render monkey about it. called Faithful, and Franklin D. Roo- will come round to smash your would probably vote for a Golden A good old British bull- sevelt, in a move of striking original- knee-caps, peace and love. Retriever to run their country over a dog would be an equally de- ity, named his Great Dane ‘President’. Pubicpizza, Truro conventional human candidate. bad choice, and a signer label Alternatively, the First Family could Posted Wed 18:31:05 Hundreds of obsessive dog breeders German shepherd for something always decide to honour their pet by and puppy experts have been o er- would be disas- imperfect, a naming it a er a previous White House I’ve read on Wikipedia that Ringo ing advice to Barack et al. about how trous. Where’s grubby “American occupant; George Woo ngton would is DYING !Please God Please let they can nd their perfect match. the patriotism Dream” puppy be an interesting choice, as would J. F. this be true. I am now panicking. I It’s not going to be easy. Foremost is in that? If he who has made Kennel-dy or Abrahound Lincoln… am frightened. I need to start riot- the issue of Malia’s allergies. Obama, picks an Af- it against all Personally, though, I’m hoping they opt ing. No, I must start looting. I will perhaps confusing the puppy-to-be ghan hound odds, could be a for a pitbull and call it Sarah. start hoarding food and bottled with a synthetic pillow, has said the we might as shrewd deci- So Barack, if you’re reading, I water. I am sending everything I dog must be “hypoallergenic” – I think well just sion, re ecting hope you recognise this is the most own to: he means bald. Sadly, looks mean convict Obama’s own pressing issue of your career. e Ringo Starr everything in the White House, and him of journey to the dog is what you will be remembered 1st Floor the Peruvian Hairless may not make terror- top. A mixed for. Who could forget those famous 90 Jermyn Street Malia sneeze but it does look like it’s ism breed would images of post-Lewinsky Bill Clinton London SW1Y6JD just crawled out of a sewer lled with right be a novel way going for long moody walks with his Oscarwildchild, Epping radioactive waste. No, the presiden- now. of showing the only friend, Buddy? Or when Teddy Posted urs 13:09:55 tial hound should be cute and u y Best President’s united Roosevelt’s terrier, Pete, ripped o the – Dubya opted for a springer spaniel and bipartisan at- trousers of the French ambassador? It’s Can I sign it, Championslug? and a Scottish terrier, while Clinton titude to getting the the dog that sticks in our mind long Littlebittyfetish, Swansea plumped for a chocolate labrador. e country through a er your term in o ce is up, Barack, Posted urs 13:24:05 choice of First Puppy is a microcosm these testing eco- so choose wisely. Bene’t’s Chocolate Indulgence May Ballsandstudentsocsparties. Party winesfrom £2.99,over200single We are theleadingsuppliertocolleges, cans oflager. Ifyoucandrinkit,wesell Branches atKing’s Parade,Magdalene 4 Bene’t’s Street 20 King’s Parade Bene’t’s Cafés Double-or-Quits yourstudentdiscount discounts, wholesale accounts available malts, Port,Madeira,Claret, Absinthe, Award winning Norfolk Bridge andMill Road.Edinburghtoo. Free glass loan, free delivery, generous with ourTrivial Pursuitchallenge. No conferring, bickeringorface-pulling. 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S t r e e t a few willbefollowed performances by and answer aquestion session. >> >> >> 3rd December at 7.30pm at December 3rd Miscellaneous isall about on the evening ofthe to see There willalsowhat beathe chance 2009 January 13th DEADLINE the evenings ofthe11 Taking on andClareCellars placeintheJudithE.Wilsondramastudio [email protected]. on something, and watch others dosotoo.on something,andwatch others chanceor ‘definitea for finish’,noapplicationprocess.Just you toput inform adialoguewithotherworks. Thereisnorequirementfor ‘polish’ a festival wherepieces–mime,recordings,theuncategorized –can ever thought, ‘Iwonder just what it would belike an egg to crack sketches that you’ve always wanted to bringto life? Orhave you Fragments. Reworkings. Dramatic pieces: have you ever wanted Want to advertise your event here? Reworking pieces thatdraw on the significantly works of up others, to 30minutes long Fragments, rough beginnings, sketches, up to performances, 15 minutes long plays thatlast up to Short 30minutes to stage it?Doyou haveto stage and withscribbles a notebook stuffed to create somethingfor thetheatre but didnothave anywhere If you areinterested orwant to findoutmorethen feel free to emailus: Emma Hogan(Vice-PresidentofClareActors) [email protected] [email protected] CALL FOR WORKS: UNFINISHEDORCOMPLETE

01223 337575 MISCELLANEOUS THEATRE FESTIVAL 2009 Jeremy Hardingham(ManagerofJudithE.WilsonStudio) over someone’shead onstage?’ th , 12 th and13

sent to both and [email protected] in the Judith E.WilsonDrama Studio, where th of March, theMiscellaneous is ofMarch, was yourday? How at [email protected] Friday November 21 2008 Write for Varsity Sport: varsity.co.uk [email protected] Sport 33

REPORTS

DHANEESHA SENARATNE Blues too strong for Warwick College Catch-up » Rugby League boys continue their excellent string of results Team of the Week Downing College Football Club Charlie Pearson touch down, again the result of some good quick ball and thanks to half- Sport Reporter Cambridge 18 Downing made light work of last backs James Hunt and Rupert Win- year’s Division One college foot- gate-Saul nally linking well in attack. ball Champions Trinity as they e Rugby League Blues added another Warwick 12 An o oad close to the line allowed romped to a decisive 4-0 victory win to their impressive rst term by the prop a chance to stretch under the on the weekend. is latest feat edging ahead of Warwick with what the opening try. posts, and the conversion put the Blues adds more momentum to Down- was a fairly insipid performance at Just as it looked like the tries owed ten points clear. ing’s immaculate start to the sea- Trinity Old Fields on Wednesday. Hav- to Cambridge from the battering they Yet again, however, the team let son which has seen them re home ing thumped Warwick earlier in the were giving the visitors might soon themselves down a few minutes later. 13 goals, concede only one, and season, Cambridge were expecting a begin to accumulate, two successive A careless penalty brought Warwick achieve maximum points from comfortable win. And win they did, but penalties put Warwick within striking close enough for an absolute unit in the their rst four matches. Brimming not by the margin that re ected their range for the rst time. An embarrass- front row to break through and atten with talent, enthusiasm, and a perceived superiority. ing missed tackle from a mid eld pair the Cambridge fullback on his way to sprinkling of Blues players, Down- e rst half-hour in fact saw no allowed a Warwick centre to wriggle another converted score. ing are now sitting pretty at the top scores. Cambridge pressured the War- over and level the score before half Frustration was building palpably of Division One, with previously wick line without the necessary pene- time. within the Cambridge team and sta but unbeaten Jesus – their main title tration or mettle to make the right nal e second half began with inten- mid eld cloggers James Shearman and race rivals – managing only a 1-1 pass. e best chance came a er eight sity and again Cambridge came close a Paddy Hunt continued to do their stu . draw with mid-table St John’s. As minutes when Liam Nicholls was bun- number of times before being let down So too did a sharpened George Sykes be- they approach the season’s halfway dled out of play just before reaching the by some schoolboy passing. In the same hind the breakdown, and James Hunt was point their early cup exit could be le corner; otherwise a series of stray move, Luke Barnes and Carl Schroeder able to add a sensible two points from a a blessing in disguise as Downing’s passes and drops squandered most op- were just inches out and it wasn’t until penalty not long before time to seal vic- focus remains xed on the league. portunities. a delightfully ighted pass from hooker tory for the Blues. Cambridge won’t be Continue this rich vein of form and Finally Cambridge took advantage George Sykes on the h tackle that happy with their display, but it says a lot her rivals, like defeated Trinity, will Scott Wildgoose on of some yards gained from a penalty. the lead was restored to 10-6 . e pass about a team that can play poorly but still soon be down(ing) and out. the attack A sharp o oad from prop Luke Barnes was gratefully received by winger Luke dominate a useful opposition. released full-back Max Stetchman to Singer who had appeared on the over- Star Player: George Sykes – led well wind through defenders with electric lap. from the breakdown and created a ne steps from close range and go over for Luke Tyson was the next and last to try. Player of the Week Mark Scott

For any Emma rugby player, the Success in She eld sight of Mark Scott lacing up his boots ten minutes before training is supposed to start makes the heart » Swimmers impress in BUCS championships li . First to arrive and last to leave, Mark’s dedication has paid o – he Varsity Sport Blues time of the season in 2:13.54 and has converted his tireless attitude on nishing 13th. Other notable swims the park into success on the pitch. included Josh Little in the 50m back- Although the team are on the back Last weekend saw the University Swim- stroke, Emily Darley in the 100m y as of a losing streak, Mark constantly ming team head north for the BUCS well as Mike Curtis and Men’s Captain provides a safe pair of hands under Short Course Championships in Shef- Ho-On To in the 50m breaststroke. e the high ball, the ability to make the eld. e competition usually attracts a ernoon saw Cambridge’s backstrok- hard yards when carrying forward many of the country’s top swimmers ing contingent out in force with the and, as you would expect from a and this year was no di erent. Several 200m heats. Tom Rootsey swam a well e Blues performed well in She eld second row, a work ethic and t- current Olympians were present, in- paced race, nishing 12th and Heather ness that puts the rest of the pack to cluding world record holder, Liam Tan- Moore swam exceptionally well to se- Rootsey then proved what an asset he is the 400m free in a time of 4.09.61 to gain shame. Criminally underrated, and cock, and silver medallist from Beijing, cure a place in the nal that evening, to the team by getting Blues times on the h Blues time of the weekend. putting in another great perform- David Davies. where she nished 6th. the 200m and 100m back consecutively Corley’s strong swim capped a suc- ance this week as ever, Mark Scott e weekend started well with Andy e nal day started well with Jess with the 100m back being the second cessful weekend for the Blues swimmers is the engine of the Emmanuel Col- Corley swimming a strong 1500m Trevelick and Kat De Rome both swim- fastest time Cambridge has ever seen who’ll be looking to maintain their mo- lege rugby team. freestyle in a new Cambridge record ming fantastic 100m freestyles. Nick in 59.82. e evening then saw the B - mentum with one eye on the Varsity x- of 16:20.66 and coming ninth. Kat De Russell and Ho-On To continued the nal of the men’s medley relay where the ture next term. Rome and Natalie Moores competed in speedy streak with excellent 100m team, having quali ed the day before, Star performer: Andy Corley – set a the 200m freestyle; both swam fast times breaststrokes with To nishing 15th swam well to nish 9th. Andy Corley new Cambridge record in the 1500m One to watch next week with De Rome getting the rst Ladies’ and achieving the Blues time in 1:08.21. also swum brilliantly in the nal heat of freestyle. Trinity vs Downing In the college Basketball world, there is no bigger match this season. Trin- ity are this season’s high iers. Victo- Narrow win for basketballers rious in their opening four matches, they are top of Division One, and for good reason. University Blues Presi- » Blues finish strongly to see off Warwick dent Sunith de Foneska has been on against an increasingly tired looking Andy Ryan ne slam-dunking form for the Trin- Warwick side. e Blues opened up a ity Street posh boys while fellow Blue Sport Reporter Cambridge 77 ve point lead and looked set to kill o Alun Aralbayev is a proli c three- the contest. Yet Warwick rallied and point scorer. e Blues held their nerve at the death Warwick 71 came back into the game. Soon they On Saturday they take on de- to shade this close encounter. led 70-69. With the match delicately fending Cuppers Champions Cambridge made the stronger start slow start from both teams. e two balanced and less than two minutes to Downing. Pre-season favourites, and uency in attack was rewarded sides traded scores with neither able play, the game took on a frantic pace. Downing remain Trinity’s strong- with an early 14-5 lead. Warwick did to assert their dominance. Eventually, ere were desperate calls of “ nish est rivals. Despite an early loss, respond and at the end of the rst it was Warwick who broke the stale- it”, as the Blues searched for a score. A Downing are comfortably the quarter, it was they who were creating mate, pulling into a 59-52 lead early in three-pointer from Bamiedakis gave league’s highest point scorers and, more openings, though there was some the fourth quarter. e rise in volume Cambridge the lead. Warwick attacked with two players in the University wasteful nishing; the Blues dealt well levels on both sides re ected the fact fervently but Cambridge kept their fo- set up, woe betide any team who with Warwick’s height advantage. that this was a crucial moment in the cus with some excellent team defence. underestimates them. Watch Divi- Entering the second quarter the Blues contest. e Blues desperately needed a e Blues closed out a morale-boost- sion One’s table-toppers play their seemed to lose their way and Warwick response or risked seeing the game get ing win with a clutch of free throws second-placed rivals at Kelsey Ker- enjoyed a strong period that saw them away from them. in the last minute by Lee, Bohn, and ridge on Saturday November 22 at e Blues nished the game go in front. Cambridge did, however, e ght-back came and the scores Bamiedakis. 19:00. It will de ne the college Bas- with a ourish restore their lead before the end of were soon level at 63-63. It was Cam- Star Player: Chris Bohn – Cambridge’s ketball season. the quarter. e third quarter saw a bridge who now looked in control top scorer in a hard-fought victory Sport Editors: Ben Riley-Smith and Andy Robson Friday November 21 2008 34 Sport [email protected] varsity.co.uk

Sport Feature: Cambridge Abroad Brooks (right) with Ebbs eet manager Liam Daish Cambridge Abroad BORED WITH COLLEGE CAPTAINS AND BRAGGING BLUES? VARSITY BURSTS THE BUBBLE BY INVESTIGATING CANTABRIGIANS MAKING AN IMPACT IN THE WIDER SPORTING WORLD. ADAM MCNALLY HEARS ABOUT EFFICIENCY AND ENGINES FROM THE CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY ECO RACING TEAM....

team of Cambridge students is team has over 100 members and hopes up to 90 miles-per-hour. Evan Scouros, gearing up to take part in a race to be a world leader in solar-powered who is part of the electrical team acrossA Australia in a solar-powered car. car technology by 2011, where the goal and treasurer, explained what it was e Cambridge University Eco Racing is to nish rst in the WSC. e team like to drive the car. “You have to sit (CUER) Team is busy designing a is especially unusual within the com- with your knees bent into your chest brand new vehicle that will be capable petition as it is student-led, with many because there’s very little room in the fourth-year engineers choosing to help driving compartment; it’s a bit like you design the car as part of their course. see in a Formula One car. You have a e team has already built A nity, the brake pedal, but the accelerator’s on rst roadworthy solar-powered car in the steering wheel. ere’s a computer 90mph the UK, and driven it from Land’s End in the companion car that controls Top speed at which CUER’s solar- to John O’Groats. your speed to make sure you’re always panelled car can travel. Lisa Barrington, the PR team leader, travelling in a way that gives the op- is keen to stress how much a part of timum combination of e ciency and the town and the university the project velocity.” is. “People have seen A nity out and As well as racing against the other about in Cambridge,” she said, “and cars, Evan will be battling against the 50°C we’re always looking for new people to heat of the outback. “A massive part of Likely temperature inside the car get involved – you don’t need to have the race across Australia is an endur- during the 2009 World Solar Challenge technical knowledge to be part of the ance test,” Lisa Barrington told Varsity. t e am .” “You’re driving in a car designed to Indeed, it is the enthusiasm of the catch sunlight; there’s no air-condi- of travelling from Darwin to Adelaide, Cambridge students that has propelled tioning and temperatures can reach up fuelled only by the energy of the sun, the project so far. Whilst the Univer- to 50°C.” to take part in the 2009 World Solar sity of Michigan has over a million Although Cambridge will be racing Challenge (WSC). pounds to build its solar-powered car, teams from other UK universities, Anthony Law, the team manager, is Cambridge is managing to provide including Durham and UCL, the big- con dent that Cambridge has what it strong opposition with only £250,000. gest threat posed is by Del University takes to be amongst the best teams in Cambridge’s secret weapon is its in the Netherlands, which has won the world, competing alongside rival e ciency. “Although we can’t a ord the last four World Solar Challenges. projects from institutions such as the the most e ective solar panels on the Perhaps the CUER team will be the University of Michigan and MIT. “I market, we can build our car so that one that ghts o the competition think we’ll probably nish in the top 98% of the energy it absorbs is trans- and nally manages to bring the WSC ten,” he told Varsity. “ is would make ferred to the wheels,” Anthony Law trophy to the UK. the CUER the rst ever successful UK explained. If you would like to get more involved team in the competition.” Such an e cient system makes it or donate money to the team, please Started by students in 2007, CUER possible for the car to reach speeds of visit www.cuer.co.uk/friends.html. ....WHILE BEN RILEY-SMITH DISCUSSES CALORIES AND CHAFFING WITH TRANS- ATLANTIC ROWER DANNY LONGMAN

t is hard to over-exaggerate the phe- ing in an expected weight loss of two took him 90 days. I think he never slept Inomenal physical and mental strug- and a half stone for the trip) and will for more than 20 minutes at a time”. gle which Christ’s College’s Danny have to row, aching and cha ng, It might come as little surprise to nd Longman is preparing to put himself through whatever the weather throws that Brown is “very Scottish”. And “very through this Christmas vacation. On at him – a force 8 gale in one past at- bearded”. In fact Brown, like all the December 31 Longman will make up tempt – and you can start to appreci- crew, are surely included in Longman’s part of a 14-man team attempting to ate the scale of the task ahead. When declaration that “you have to be a little break the World Record for rowing Longman says “it’s a bit of a challenge” bit nuts” to go on the expedition. In across the Atlantic. Currently the that’s like me saying Peter Crouch quickest timed crossing is 33 days, 7 “is a bit tall” or that Michael Jackson hours and 30 minutes. To beat it, he “isn’t all there”. For make no mistake; and his team-mates will have to put Crouch is a giant, Wacko Jacko is a their bodies through trials that would fruit loop, and attempting to row the surely break even the bravest Boat route of the QE2 in under a month is 20,000 Race Blue. an arse-clenchingly monstrous mother Number of calories Danny Longman In order to keep the boat constantly of a challenge. will lose every day throughout the trip on the move the crew has been split Why, then, do people do it? Why do into two separate groups who will people like Longman think to them- take it in turns to row. Each group will selves “that looks fun”, as he proudly row for two hours, then eat and sleep admits, when stumbling across an for two hours. And then row for two advert to trial for the boat? e answer, 10 more hours. en rest for two hours. presumably, is the test on endurance. Number of Boat Races he will have to is cycle will continue all day, every e thrill of pushing the human body row everyday, for at least month day, for the duration of the trip. Put to its limits and coming out unscathed. another way, throughout the entire It is for this reason that the boat itself month of January 2009 Danny Long- is lled with “ultra endurance sport” Danny Longman, Cambridge Univer- man will never sleep for more than fanatics; men who hold records for sity has its very own Atlantic nutter. two hours at any one time. Every day climbing mountains the quickest, he will row the equivalent of 10 Boat cycling continents the fastest and To sponsor his trip contact the Races, and will have to repeat that feat swimming incredible distances. man himself on [email protected] or 31 consecutive times if the team are to None more so than the boat’s captain 07773314914. “No matter how small the achieve their staggering target of com- Leven Brown. “He is widely regarded as sponsorship it all adds up so it would CUER’s solar-powered car pleting the crossing within one month. the foremost captain in the ocean row- be fantastic if any readers or companies Add to this the fact that he will be ing world,” Longman notes. “He actu- could get in touch.” Find out more about burning 20,000 calories a day (result- ally crossed the Atlantic on his own. It the trip on www.oceanrowevents.com. Friday November 21 2008 Write for Varsity Sport: varsity.co.uk [email protected] Sport 35

Andrew Ptaszynski’s Trials Robson Drogba’s throw just shows he’s human Sport Comment urely in the current economic Wednesday and the Cantona scandal are deserving of the same punish- Cantona’s Jet Li impressions aside, slowdown, there must be better in 1995 is simple; Cantona was abused, ment, simply that governing bodies there’s something innately stable about Sthings to do with your loose change he retaliated and attacked his abuser. are put in a very tricky situation when professional footballers. Idolised by than to throw it at Didier Drogba. As Drogba was abused, he retaliated but high-pro le footballers become hu- millions, 99% of the time they are able detestable a character the Ivorian may by throwing the coin into a mass of man in the heat of the moment. I do to drown out the verbal, or in this be, that y pence piece launched men, women and children, callously sympathise with the FA, whose hands case, metallic, abuse streaming from towards his dreadlocked noggin would disregarding the minimal chances of were unquestionably tied in this case. the crowd; but every now and again indisputably be better served buying hitting the guy who actually threw the If they had handed out a punishment when a human side emerges on the Week 7: Hurling you a Wispa. Although, having said coin in the rst place. Cantona was at all di erent from the one given to pitch, there is inevitable controversy. that, we were told this week that cities Regardless of whether you’re earn- Sporting layman Jamie Ptaszynski trains in the north will be insulated from the ing minimum wage or your tax bill with a di erent Blues team each week real hardship of the credit crunch in e only player ever to have taken successful revenge is propping up the NHS, there is no the months and years to come. So, per- shame in a human mistake which is n England we have two contrast- haps those missile-throwing Burnley at crowd provocation was Eric Cantona, when he re- apologised for. ing images of the Irish: On the fans behind the goal last Wednesday Some will argue that Drogba has oneI hand they have the best sense were merely aunting their new-found enacted the closing scenes from Best of the Best to gain a responsibility as a role model for of humour of any nation in the wealth in being so muni cent with his retribution at Selhurst Park some 13 years ago youngsters and that if the original per- world and would sooner tell a y their hard-earned coppers. Or perhaps petrator is caught, they will be subject a joke than harm it; on the other not. to a lifetime ban. ese, indeed, are they’re a selection of violent and Drogba-gate joins a catalogue of valid arguments but the fact of the slightly reckless alcoholics. Hurling similar events of player retaliation to on the end of a nine month ban from to Jamie Carragher for an identical matter remains that footballers should ts the second of these stereotypes. fan interference in the past decade or football and was stripped of the French incident at Highbury six years ago, not have to deal with the situation that If you don’t know what hurling is, so. e only player ever to have taken captaincy whereas Drogba received a they could bank on having either Rafa Drogba reacted to last Wednesday. His just imagine hockey. Once you have successful revenge at crowd provo- three match ban and is likely to receive Benítez or Luis Felipe Scolari knock- immediate apology absolves him from a picture in your head, take away cation was Eric Cantona, when he a nancial penalty meaning he’ll be ing on their door on Monday morning stinging criticism in my book. Football the rule where you’re not allowed to re-enacted the closing scenes from Best forced to wipe his backside with £20 complaining of unfair treatment. fans need to start governing them- use your feet, then the rule where of the Best to gain his retribution at notes rather than the customary £50 Yes, both Cantona and Drogba’s selves and giving up guilty parties to you’re not allowed to use your Selhurst Park some 13 years ago. this week. At least Eric got his man. actions put the game’s governing stamp this ugly streak out of the game hands and nally the rule where e thing that strikes me when I am not arguing for a second that bodies in very di cult situations and before someone on either side of the the ball has to stay below a certain juxtaposing the Drogba incident last karate kicks and an erratic pigeon toss seem to defy logic, but that’s the point. white line is seriously injured. height. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right, there aren’t many SEAN JONES rules le . In a high level hurling match, the ball and sticks tend to move around at very high speeds at about head height. You’d have to be reckless Farewell to the Cup to play it and drunk not to feel the pain. ankfully the balls and the ends of the sticks are now made of » Footy Blues take lead but go down to a dubious rubber, not wood, so it’s not quite as dangerous as it once was. But late penalty you still have to wear a helmet and in my experience the sports where John Savage you wear helmets are always the Sport Reporter most violent: ice hockey, American Cambridge 1 football, cricket… When I turned up for training A late, late penalty sent Cambridge Bedfordshire 2 with the University hurling club, I crashing out of the cup in a game in didn’t really know what to expect. I which the Blues never really settled. been more rewarding. e constantly didn’t know how good they’d be or Bedfordshire took the initiative roaming Johnson proved the exception which type of Irish they’d be. It turns from the o set and soon uncovered and his willingness to take more than out they’re only about half Irish, and Cambridge’s main defensive weakness, one touch gradually inspired the team nobody was drunk so I assumed when their rst whipped cross was to do the same. e Blues ended the half they were the good kind. is was met with hesitancy from the Blues de- with the best chance of the game a er a a kind of beginner-ish session of fenders. For the duration of the game, owing move, orchestrated by Johnson. Baxter con dently converts Cambridge’s penalty indoor hurling so I wasn’t expecting Bedfordshire exposed this frailty per- Harrison received his through ball on anything world-class, not that I’d sistently. It was no wonder that their the le , before squaring to a team mate know what world-class indoor hurl- equaliser came from a corner, which who should have done better than blaz- equaliser. e game was thus poised than an inevitable collision between ing might look like. But there were was thumped in from two yards a er ing over from six yards. for a frantic nish and it certainly de- Ferguson and the attacking striker. de nitely some very skilful players confusion in the box. Nevertheless, Cambridge scored livered. Harrison’s looping header was e converted penalty signalled the there. e Blues began the game nervous- rst. At the restart, the referee blew for palmed away and his powerful follow- end of Cambridge’s cup campaign. We did quite a lot of work on ly. But, whilst Bedfordshire saw more a penalty a er Bedfordshire’s winger up, which hit the underside of the bar Captain Jamie Rutt was clearly dis- hand passes: you’re not allowed to possession, Cambridge nevertheless handled in the box. Mark Baxter sent à la Geo Hurst, was ruled not to have appointed but looked to take the posi- just throw the ball to one another; had an array of good chances. Stephen the keeper the wrong way with a cool, crossed the line. At the other end, tives from a game where only a dubi- you have to pat it with your palm. Harrison’s stinging shot was parried low nish from the spot. It could easily Blues keeper Stuart Ferguson played ous refereeing decision separated the You’re also not allowed to pick it up away, Michael Johnson’s audacious ick have been 2-0 minutes later, but Bax- his part with two terri c saves from sides. “Again we’ve come away disap- but instead you have to scoop it with glanced the post on its way out and ter skewed his volley a er a perfectly free kicks, continuing his excellent for pointed: the game sums up our season. your stick. A er that we moved into James Day’s header just ew past the weighted cross from the tireless Har- m so far this season. But we have to try and take the posi- a six-a-side game and this week I upright. Despite these opportunities, rison. With just one minute remaining, tives.” wasn’t put in goal. It’s very fast- the Blues lacked con dence when on A goal behind, Bedfordshire rallied the Blues’ cup hope hung by a thread Star Player: Michael Johnson - Cam- paced and chasing a ball around a the ball, o en resorting to long balls together and, a er lengthy pressure, when the referee gave a so penalty af- bridge’s most con dent and composed gym can be very tiring, even more when composed passes would have the visiting side claimed a deserved ter what appeared to be nothing more player. so when you don’t really know what you’re supposed to be doing. Posi- tionally it’s similar to football, so I soon picked up roughly where I was meant to be. ough my techniques e Week Ahead may have been more than a little un- orthodox, I even managed to score a University University National National couple of goals. I’d recommend hurling to anyone who can’t decide whether to play Rugby Football Cricket Football hockey, football, tennis or basketball. The Blues are bruised and battered. Out of the cup and down on their Whooping KP’s men in the first European Champions Manchester If you go Gaelic you won’t be short They’ve lost their last 6 games. Ox- luck, it is up to Captain fantastic game, easily victorious in the sec- United take on Europe-chasing of victories either: in a hard-fought ford have lost only one all season. Jamie Rutt to end then wound ond, if India keep this up their the Aston Villa in the Premiership’s battle at the weekend Cambridge Can captain Dawson rally his men licking and start the arse-kicking. seven-match series vs England will most juicy weekend fixture. In the won their rst Gaelic football match to victory in the second last match Will Coventry feel Rutt’s rath? be all over come the end of this 4th words of Alan Partridge – “eat my of the season against the University before Twickenham? One Day International. goal”. of Bedfordshire with a score of 2-07, Grange Road, Wednesday Novem- Fenners, Wednesday November 26, Watch it on Sky Sports 1, Sunday No- Watch it on Setanta, Saturday No- 0-11 (but please don’t ask me exactly ber 26, KO 15:00 KO 15:00 vember 23, KO 08:30 vember 22, KO 17:30 what that means). Friday November 21 2008 varsity.co.uk/sport

Cambridge Abroad »p34 Meet Cambridge’s only trans-Atlantic rower and the team behind CUER’s Sport solar-powered car TWICKENHAM COUNTDOWN: 27 DAYS TO GO // FORM TRACKER: CAMBRIDGE P10 W2 L8 ~ OXFORD P8 W7 L1 // BLUES FORM PLAYER: MARK RANBY DAWSON QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “OUT OF THE MOST TURBULENT WATER GROWS THE STRONGEST CORAL. WE WILL WORK HARD AND GET BETTER”

SOPHIE PICKFORD Captain’s Corner Paul Smith Karate

eadly hand-to-hand combat is perhaps not the rst thing one Dmight expect to nd at Cambridge University, but look hard enough and you’ll nd plenty of people who might snap your limbs in two as soon as look at you. “We have three members of the England kumite ( ghting) squad and Cambridge struggled against the British and German kata champion the Warriors in the club, as well as about twenty other black belts.” ese ghters are the cream of a rather plentiful crop, with members of CUKC ranging from complete novices training once or twice a week, to the Varsity squad who practise almost daily. Smith, an eleven-year karate veteran, Time running out for Blues claims it has a therapeutic e ect: “It’s very relaxing – it clears your mind » Worcester Warriors show no mercy to struggling Cambridge as rivals Oxford watch from the stands and lets you get everything out of your system.” Furthermore, it would seem less nature of the Blues’ one dimensional tercepted on their own ve metre line, Suroosh Madanipour running game was typi ed when Chris handing Worcester a stroll-in under the that any latent supervision-induced Sport Reporter fury is systematically unleashed upon Cambridge 3 Lewis, so o en outstanding this season in posts and a seemingly unassailable lead. one unfortunate group of victims. “We punching holes through mid eld defenc- As the rain came down over Grange Road, destroyed the Oxford team two years ere was a telling silence at Grange Road Worcester 31 es, was oored by a shuddering challenge Cambridge continued their war of attri- ago in the Varsity Match, and last year on Monday night. It wasn’t the dismal from opposition centre Greg King. tion, but repeatedly lacked the judgment we beat them again. I’m con dent we conditions, it wasn’t even the foreboding ian McGuire and his resulting 40-yard With six minutes until half-time, in their kicking game or creativity in at- can make it three wins on the trot.” He presence of the onlooking Oxford rugby individual run giving the crowd a li . Worcester seized their opportunity to tack to match Worcester’s e orts. Matters means it. “When you’re doing karate, team, sitting more and more comfortably Such ventures beyond the Worcester control the match and Cambridge seem- were made worse as, much to the Oxford expressions like ‘break a leg’ and ‘knock in their seats in the stands as the Light gain line however were few and far be- ingly had no answer for their dynamism contingent’s delight, Carlisle began to ‘em dead’ really take on an extra edge.” Blues spluttered to their sixth defeat on tween. Whilst there was no questioning out wide. First Charly Fellows took ad- showboat and then to really stretch the In spite of the captain’s tongue- the trot. ose who had braved the cold the commitment of the Blues’ direct ap- vantage of a mismatch in the 22 to scuttle Cambridge defence. Fellows secured his and-cheek remarks, the sport is very could de nitely feel it; barring a drastic proach, led from the fore by Vickerman, past Matt Crocket. is try was followed hat-trick through the inevitable h try safe compared to some of its more turn around in form, Cambridge could who has begun to really assert his physical in quick succession by King nishing o out wide, leaving the nal score at 31-3. ubiquitous counterparts. “While we well be heading to their rst defeat in presence in the side, they were seemingly a simple two-on-one chance to score un- Perhaps the most worrying aspect of do of course hit each other, the contact four years against an Oxford out t that unable to cause any further problems for der the posts as Cambridge were le 19-3 the performance on Monday night was is relatively light and injuries are far dominated the same Worcester side by the Worcester defence, with the large ma- down at half time. the billing of this xture within the Blues rarer than in football and rugby. When 35 points less than a month ago. jority of the rst 40 minutes being played e second half brought neither an camp as the do-or-die match, the must- things do go wrong it’s usually with e youthful Warriors line-up be- in the Cambridge half. improvement in the conditions or in win game to turn their season around. ngers or toes rather than arms or gan at a sprightly tempo, falling short of Poor kicking and a lack of territorial the Blues’ fortune. Worcester y-half Joe e result presumably put an end to the legs – in fact, like the rowers, our most converting early pressure in the Blues’ advantage soon told and Worcester went Carlisle began to grow in stature and con- ‘it’ll be alright on the night’ attitude and, common injuries are blisters.” e club 22 thanks to an impressive cover tackle 5-0 up as a turnover in the Blue’s 22 re- dence with two moves culminating in with only 27 days until the Varsity match also has a strict “no karate in the pub” from Australian international Dan Vick- sulted in a fairly simple try in the corner. excellently stroked cross eld kicks into the Blues have a lot of hard work to do. policy, much to the chagrin of a student erman. From here, Cambridge began to Cambridge did enjoy a period of sus- winger Mike Penn’s arms, halted only On current form, Anton Oliver and com- journalist in search of scandal. If you show signs of playing with the con dence tained pressure as half time approached, by a last gasp tackle by Mark Ranby and pany can only be itching to go as Decem- want to see some action, you’ll simply that has been so lacking in performances allowing Jimmy Richards to score their Worcester mistakes. ber 11 looms ever nearer. have to go down to the dojo. against the professional squads this year, rst points a er 34 minutes and bring It was all over a er just 45 minutes Star player – Rhidian McGuire for his with a de snipe from scrum half Rhid- the score back to 5-3. However the fruit- though when Cambridge had a pass in- relentless tenacity in the face of defeat.