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Home , Come Together, Eight Days a Week, Glass Onion, Maxwell (musician), Rocky Raccoon, The Love You Make

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Available / Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love (and News), Babe MAXWELL “SILVER HAMMER” Max, he came from behind, and it was like, bang, man! Bang! And that silver hammer EDISON STRIKES AGAIN! came down on Daniel’s head.” After narrowly evading justice in a court of Edison is a student of medicine, in law, known serial murderer Maxwell “Silver his early twenties, and has a history of Hammer” violent activity. He is wanted also for the Edison has murder of a scientist co-worker, a school struck again. teacher, and the judge of a local court. The victim, a Local police chief and renowned man known elephant hunter Bungalow Bill shared in a only as press release that a hammer was found at “Daniel”, was the scene with Edison’s fingerprints. “This killed last murder follows previous patterns… and we Tuesday in a now need only to clarify motive. We suspect saloon Silver hammer found on the that Edison was hired for this job.” There is somewhere in scene of the crime. currently no evidence to prove this theory. the black He has requested that anyone with mountain hills of Dakota. Daniel’s fiancé, information regarding Edison or his victims Nancy, was not available for questioning. call police headquarters immediately. Says , a witness to the incident, “This man who calls himself

Features Maxwell “Silver Hammer” Edison Strikes Again! The continuing saga of a serial hammer murderer. (Cover Story) (Page 1) Recovered Jude Letter: Insight into the relationship between world-famous “Jude” and . (Page 2) : An outline of the major events that defined The Beatles. (Page 3)

Every Issue CLASSIFIEDS At A Glance

Mean Mr. Mustard $1750 Rare ltd. ed. White Album Editorial column featuring the grumpy with peel-back cover Mr. Mustard. (Page 3-4) revealing nude picture of and Yoko. Only 100 Your Mother Should Know printed. Advice column of the wise Prudence. (Page 4) FREE Strawberries picked from a never-ending field. Best Dig It enjoyed with eyes closed. Reader submissions of poetry. (Page 5-6) More in Classifieds section.

Recovered Jude Letter The following is a letter recovered from the estate of Paul McCartney. The letter is dated November 2, 1969.

Dear Paul,

Hey, man. I’m really diggin’ that Yellow Submarine movie, it’s like... wow, man.

So, you’re an expert at love. You and John and the guys wrote entire albums about it. Oh yeah, and speaking of John, what’s going on with his hair on the cover? I love it. And do you need some shoes? I found a great pair of sandals on the beach a few days ago, and I remembered you’re not wearing any on Abbey Road, so if you want ‘em they’re yours.

Anyway, I wrote to ask you a question. See, there’s this great girl I met, and I think I might love her. But y’know, she’s got enough money to… buy the state of Hawaii or something. She drives her own expensive car that cost about $8000! And everybody knows that I don’t even have enough money to buy gas for the damn thing. So, there’s my problem. I’m afraid that she’ll find out how little money I have and think I’m some kind of bum. I know I should just mellow out a little, but you sing about broken hearts a lot in your earlier stuff and it doesn’t sound like much fun. What should I do, Paul?

Sincerely, Jude

PS – I was just wondering, is “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” supposed to… you know, stand for something? ‘Cause that would be so groovy, man…

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Come Together “Oh, all right,” is what Paul McCartney naturally, was to take over America. answered to John ’s request for him to join , Lennon’s band at the time. This yawn-inspiring action does not seem very fitting for such an important event in musical and social history, and it is obvious that these two neatly groomed boys had no idea what just a few years’ time would do for their music and hairstyles. The talented John and Paul wrote about what they knew (holding hands, broken hearts) and played the way they wanted (which was very well). Quickly outgrowing the Quarrymen, the Ed Sullivan put The Beatles on two evolved into The Beatles after being his show in 1964, where they played a joined by the other band members, couple songs, and waved, and smiled, George and Ringo. They played local and also became internationally famous (and not so local) clubs and bars and in less time than it takes to print five- became increasingly famous in England hundred more copies of a hit album that and Germany. In 1962 they signed a just can’t seem to stay on the shelves contract with manager on long enough for every screaming girl on Records, and in one the street to have her very own personal month’s time recorded and released copy. The combination of five singles, their first single, “”. By 1963, two albums and the publicity of one they had a number one album, “Please night made the Beatles a household Please Me”. Having become nationally name. famous in Britain, the next big step,

Mean Mr. Mustard Those goddamn Elvis character with his spastic hip hippies that call thrusting is nothing compared to them. themselves the Yeah, those four guys, they showed Beatles have ruined everybody that you could make good music forever. What songs about sappy love stuff, and then the hell kind of name is “Beatles” they showed that you could sing about anyway? In my day, we had good bands other things, like politics, fruit, fartin’ with good names, like Benny Goodman. around, birthday parties, and getting old. Now you’ve got noise from the likes of (I know a lot about that last one, believe Jimi Hendrix and Jefferson Airplane. you me.) Heck, I might just be a grumpy Now, you’ve got entire radio old man, but I think it’s all the Beatles’ stations devoted to bands who have fault. Ya’ see, it was those darn followed in the Beatles’ path and made whipper-snappers that opened up music about every topic under the sun in opportunities for all kinds of music to every way imaginable. So yeah, if you come out of the floorboards. That sissy like that kind of junk, then the Beatles

3 are great. But I don’t like that junk. It’s just don’t really care for. I’ll take my noisy, and all the complicated sounds Glenn Miller, thank you very much. and imagery are confusing. So in my ______opinion, the Beatles have only helped to Mr. Mustard is a mean, dirty old man who is create a market for layered, textured, known to shout out obscene things in public. He sleeps in a hole in the ground in the park. deep, meaningful, important songs that I

Your Mother Should Know : you've got time to rectify in my hour of darkness, Two weeks ago I told all the things that you She is standing right in my son that the Beatles should. front of me, speaking were evil and I burned words of wisdom, "Let It all his albums. This was Dear Prudence: Be." in response to John My friends have been Lennon’s remark that experimenting with Dear Prudence: they were “bigger than drugs, and are always A couple weeks ago I Jesus”. I’m having asking me to join them. got into an argument second thoughts, I’m confused and with my mom. I left though; my son left the worried that they might home, and now I’m house and hasn’t not like me if I say no. living with some returned or spoken to What should I do the wonderful friends. I think me since the incident. next time I’m offered I overreacted a bit but What should I do? drugs? I’m not sure how to go Signed, Signed, home again without Lonely Single Parent Morally Upright Teen fighting again. How can I make amends? Lonely Single Parent: Morally Upright Teen: Signed, Although your mind's When I find myself in Lost Child opaque, try thinking times of trouble, Mother more (if just for your Mary comes to me, Lost Child: own sake). The future speaking words of . still looks good and wisdom: "." And

4 Dig It

high fidelity? the cd won’t play i scratched it

every scratch is a memory “this is my favorite vinyl.”

“hey, this is my favorite song.” skipping to track 5 skipping to track 17

“i wouldn’t skip around if i could.” listening to the album

skip back to track 2 listen to the song the cd is skipping

a scratch; click-pop! “i can hear it, the time when we danced through the basement and i bumped the record player “stop dancing so hard, the cd won’t play… causing the needle to scratch halfway through ” okay, that’s better.”

“could you burn me a copy?”

a listening party.

patience, the cassette is almost done...

“man, this sounds great.”

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Dig It

Abbey Road ”Look at him, all dressed in white. My blue jeans are lively and superior. Why am I always in the back?” The sun (it is hot) On bare feet that are walking And belonging to someone holding a lonely cigarette.

The white collar Peeks from behind the wall of black suit-neck. ”A drummer, not a preacher, man.”

Something beautiful inside John’s cranium Hiding behind groovy specs Under a mountain of hair.

And in the end—the love you take is equal to the love you make.

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