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Once Upon a Time a Family Pantomime

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Once Upon a Time a Family Pantomime Once Upon A Time A family pantomime by Paul Barron & Sarah Dyson Once Upon A Time A family pantomime by Paul Barron & Sarah Dyson Characters: Evelyn Cinderella Snow White Charming 1 and Charming 2 Nick and Nack Lottie Gertie Jack Prince Marvellous Mad Hatter and March Hare Alice Captain Hook Red Riding Hood Wolf Dwarves Pirates Wedding Guests Synopsis: Evil is about to be banished from Pantoland, thanks to the wedding of Cinderella’s daughter and Snow White’s son. The wicked queen, Evelyn, sets out to stop the wedding by transporting Princess Lottie and her two assistants, Nick and Nack, to the far reaches of Pantoland. Prince Marvellous, his friend Jack and the cook, Gertie, set off to save her. Along the way, they both meet various characters from different stories as they try to find each other and finally go through with their wedding. © 2007 by Paul Barron and Sarah Dyson Page 1 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk Once Upon A Time Copyright 2007 by Paul Barron & Sarah Dyson COPYRIGHT REGULATIONS This play is protected under the Copyright laws of the British Commonwealth of Nations and all countries of the Universal Copyright Conventions. All rights, including Stage, Motion Picture, Video, Radio, Television, Public Reading, and Translations into Foreign Languages, are strictly reserved. No part of this publication may lawfully be transmitted, stored in a retrieval system, or reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, manuscript, typescript, recording, including video, or otherwise, without prior consent of Lazy Bee Scripts. A licence, obtainable only from Lazy Bee Scripts, must be acquired for every public or private performance of a script published by Lazy Bee Scripts and the appropriate royalty paid. If extra performances are arranged after a licence has already been issued, it is essential that Lazy Bee Scripts are informed immediately and the appropriate royalty paid, whereupon an amended licence will be issued. The availability of this script does not imply that it is automatically available for private or public performance, and Lazy Bee Scripts reserve the right to refuse to issue a licence to perform, for whatever reason. Therefore a licence should always be obtained before any rehearsals start. Localisation and updating of this script is permitted, particularly where indicated in the script. Major revisions to the text may not be made without the permission of Lazy Bee Scripts. The name of the author must be displayed on all forms of advertising and promotional material, including posters, programmes and hand bills. Photocopying of this script constitutes an infringement of copyright unless consent has been obtained from Lazy Bee Scripts and an appropriate fee has been paid. The songs suggested for use with this script are not included in the copyright and performance licence regime for this script. Those songs are subject to separate copyright notices issued by the rights holders and separate licensing regimes. Licence to perform those songs should be obtained from the Performing Rights Society in the UK (and from similar organisations in other countries). FAILURE TO ABIDE BY ALL THE ABOVE REGULATIONS, CONSTITUTES AN INFRINGEMENT OF THE COPYRIGHT LAWS OF GREAT BRITAIN. © 2007 by Paul Barron and Sarah Dyson Page 2 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk Once Upon A Time … Act 1 Scene 1 – Villains’ Meeting (Front of tabs. Sound effects and lighting tell us we are somewhere very unpleasant indeed. If possible, sound effects also give us the idea that there is general murmuring going on. This can also be achieved by chorus members backstage. We are in a large meeting hall, although this effect is only achieved by the character addressing the audience as if they are part of the meeting. Evelyn enters and stands centre stage, ready to address the ‘delegates’) Evelyn: When we are all quite ready! (Murmuring subsides. She speaks in a sickly sweet voice) Thank you. I must say it’s so nice to see so many of you here and I am delighted to welcome you all to this year’s annual meeting of the Nastily Immoral, Terribly Wicked and Indescribably Troublesome Society. Or NITWITS for short. It has been a long time since I have seen so many NITWITS gathered together in one room and, if I didn’t find happiness so unbearably sickening, the sight of so many of my NITWIT friends would bring a smile to my face. Item one on this year’s agenda is subscriptions. Cursing season will be here before we know it and the Queen of Hearts is keen to make sure that all subscriptions are paid. Anyone found casting spells or being generally nasty without having first paid their subscriptions will be IN BIG TROUBLE!! Item two is to let you know about the events planned for this weekend. Later this evening, the Wicked Queen will be running a master class on poisoned apple making, while in the grounds Gertrude will be showing you how to build a house entirely out of gingerbread – ideal for catching those annoying little children! Tomorrow morning, there will be black magic spells for beginners and Captain James Hook will be giving us a demonstration of his new Swiss Army Hook… yes, don’t do that with it though, James, you’ll have your eye out. Item three is our most grave and serious issue for a long time NITWITS. I said, MOST SERIOUS AND GRAVE (Scary lighting and sound. Possible ‘ooo’s from a nice audience!) Thank you. I’m sure that you have all heard about the marriage that is due to take place soon. Yes, yes, calm down NITWITS calm down. Well we cannot simply stand aside and let this happen. If Snow White’s son is allowed to marry Cinderella’s daughter, then the ancient prophecy will be complete and us NITWITS will be banished from the land forever! Therefore, I propose that one of us be elected to prevent this wedding from ever happening. (She is clearly suggesting herself throughout the following) It must be someone bold, powerful, resourceful, intelligent… put your hook down James! What, me you say, oh I couldn’t possibly… but I simply… alright I’ll do it. Rest assured NITWITS, you have made the right choice. My minions and I shall not rest until Cinderella, Snow White and all their families regret the day they ever crossed us NITWITS! They shall all pay and this wedding shall never take place! (Much evil laughter as she sweeps off) Scene 2 – Cinderella’s castle (It is the night before the wedding and everyone is gathered at the castle for the pre-wedding party. Cinderella and her Prince and Snow White and her prince are involved in the song but the bride and groom (Lottie and Marvellous) are not. At the close of the rousing chorus number that will open this scene, the two couples are at opposite corners of the stage) Song 1 Cinderella: I know we have to be nice to them but it’s not going to be easy. Charming 1: I know dear but we did promise Lottie we’d try our best. Cinderella: Yes, alright, but I swear if I have to listen to that poisoned apple story one more time, I’ll bury my glass slipper right in her – (We cut quickly to the opposite side of the stage) © 2007 by Paul Barron and Sarah Dyson Page 3 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk Charming 2: But… Snow White: Never mind ‘but’. It might be our son’s wedding, they might be throwing this lavish party and it might be finally the time to realise the prophecy but if there is so much as one mention of ‘And then I realised the clock had just struck 12’ she’ll have more than a couple of ugly step sisters to be worrying about I can tell you. (They both turn in and adopt the sickly sweet falseness of a meeting with the in-laws) Cinderella: Snowy, darling! Snow White: Cinders, sweetheart! How lovely to see you again. (To Cinderella’s husband) Charming! Cinderella: (To Snow White’s husband) Charming! Charming 2: (To Charming 1) Charming! Charming 1: (To Charming 2) Charming! Snow White: No problem with the arrangements for tomorrow I hope? Cinderella: No everything is absolutely fine. The chapel is being decorated with the red roses as we speak. Snow White: (To each of the other three) Red? Red? Red? Charming 1: } (Together) Charming 2: } Oh no… Cinderella: Is there an echo in here? Yes, red. Snow White: I definitely remember that we agreed on white. White lilies at that; not roses and certainly not red ones! Cinderella: Well does it really matter? Snow White: (Becoming emotional) Well yes it does actually. I remember it was white lilies because they’re quite special to me. They’re the flowers the dwarves laid around my glass coffin when I… I Cinderella: (Looking at her watch) 3 minutes everybody! 3 minutes, a new record!! Snow White: What do you mean? Cinderella: It’s taken you exactly 3 minutes to get round to mentioning that flipping poisoned apple!! Do you know, I almost put poisoned apples on the wedding menu as a dessert, just to make you happy! Snow White: Well I might have known you’d know how long it took me. You’re forever looking at that watch. Nearly midnight is it, going to turn back in to a scruffy servant are we? Oh look – too late! Charming 2: Now dear, let’s try and keep control of ourselves… Snow White: Well it would be nice if every once in a while you managed to actually support me, instead of being so spineless.
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