Havening Handbook Supplement

Your Havening Handbook Supplement

Scripts, Articles, Interviews, Case Stories, Self-Havening Guidelines, and Resilient Well-being Tool Kit

Supplemental Materials for the Havening Techniques ® Training Written, compiled and edited by Harry Pickens

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.

Havening Techniques is a registered trade mark of Ronald Ruden, 15 East 91st Street, New York, New York. www.havening.org.

Harry Pickens is a Certified Havening Techniques® Practitioner and Trainer.

All practitioners, trainers, and participants featured in The Havening Handbook have given the editor written consent/permission to include their stories/articles in this manual for learning purposes.

Handbook design and layout by Anne Romoser Bell

DISCLAIMER Although the authors, compiler, editor and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the authors, compiler, editor and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

This document is intended as a reference manual only, not as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician and/or mental health professional in matters related to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

Introducing Havening Techniques®: Better Living Through Neuroscience

By Dr. Ronald Ruden, M.D. Havening Techniques (HT) is a new and revolutionary way to heal emotional disturbances, empower an individual’s quest and optimize one’s performance. Says who? I seem to have no choice at this time but to be guilty of imposing on you this bold statement based only on empirical evidence instead of difficult rigorous controlled trials.

However, those that have learned and used Havening already know that its ability to achieve amazing results goes well beyond mere conjecture. It is up to us to now prove it. While proof is on the way, we wish to share with you what we know so far. This training conference will describe and demonstrate why Havening is indeed both new and revolutionary. You will learn how to perform Havening and by attending this conference complete the first step in becoming certified as a Havening practitioner. Why do I say that Havening is NEW and REVOLUTIONARY? Let me explain. Mainstream methods for healing emotional and physical disturbances, empowering individuals and optimizing performance are based in two main therapeutic arms, language (as in talk) and chemicals (as in drugs). Talk enters the brain via the auditory cortex and uses words to treat emotions. For most of us it is difficult to talk oneself out of guilt or anger. Talk generally tries to reframe thoughts so that they are no longer distressing and the problems they create diminish. Drugs, on the other hand, enter the brain via the circulatory system after absorption through the digestive system. There, they alter the neurochemical landscape by which information is processed without dealing directly with the underlying problems. Thus, talk, while problem-specific, cannot easily reach the root cause of our problems, our emotions, and drugs, which are not problem-specific only mask the true underlying issues. How else can we enter the mind and the brain and be therapeutic?

The answer is Havening Touch.

What? Do I really expect you to believe that simple touch can heal emotional trauma, cure pain, be empowering and optimize one’s performance? This strains credulity! Please, my friends sit through these next few days with an open mind ... enquiring skepticism is encouraged. Havening Touch® is one of the active components of a group of methods called Havening Techniques® (HT). The other two components are emotional activation and distraction.

Havening Techniques is a psychosensory (the application of non-specific sensory input to alter the mind and brain) method, which uses simple touch as the therapeutic transducer to effect change. Firstly , HT is new and revolutionary because it enters the system differently from talk and drugs (by touch). HT enters the brain and generates special brain waves called Delta waves. How these waves interact in the mind/brain have everything to do with how the events that cause the distress are encoded. You will learn about this later. Secondly , Havening is new and revolutionary because it deals directly with the subconscious where negative emotions, such as chronic anger, fear, and guilt are stored. These immutably encoded emotions are the forces involved in the production of disease, distress, helplessness and poor performance. Talk deals with the consciously accessible thoughts and drugs do not deal at all with content. Most therapy is based on a clinician’s observation of behavior, what we would call symptoms. This leads to the practitioner making a diagnosis and outlining a treatment plan based on these symptoms. Havening is different. Thirdly , Havening is new and revolutionary because it does not deal with diagnosis. Unlike drug therapy, which is diagnostically driven (anti-anxiety drugs for anxiety, etc.), and talk therapy, which is diagnostically coded for insurance purposes, Havening seeks the events that cause the symptoms. Thus, trauma can produce anxiety, depression, substance abuse and so on. Havening views behavior as a consequence of encoding a symptom and seeks to uncover the event that has produced the symptoms. Fourthly , Havening is new and revolutionary in that once the encoded event is found and treated the individual is cured. CURED? One does not use this word in talk or drug therapies, remission, yes, but not cured. We will later explain how Havening cures. Finally , Havening is new and revolutionary in that it protects the practitioner from vicarious trauma. By performing Havening we are in essence Havening ourselves, for those that have applied Havening they know what I mean and so will you when you incorporate it into your practice.

Is Havening curative for all emotional and physical disturbances? Of course not. Some problems are inherently hard wired and we can only manage them. Talk and drugs are useful but it is important to begin to think differently so that we can recognize those that are amenable to Havening and offer treatment.

So as to provide a framework for what you will witness and experience, Havening touch works by generating an electrical signal described as Delta waves. Activated at the right moment, these waves produce a cascade of events that lead to the extinguishing of the subconscious emotional stressor from an encoded traumatic event, altering its downstream co-encoded components, the cognitive, emotional, visceral and somatosensory aspects of the encoding moment. The mechanism by which this is accomplished is called depotentiation. This teaching conference will give you the knowledge and skills to apply this method. In my opinion, Havening deserves to be called new and revolutionary; hence, our Mission Statement:

Event Havening was the first protocol developed by Dr. Ronald Ruden as he was seeking to understand the neurobiological mechanism through which traumatically encoded memories could be depotentiated. The process consists of three primary components: 1) activating the memory of the encoded event, 2) applying Havening Touch®, then 3) guiding the client through a series of simple distractions to engage working memory. The step-by-step process of Event Havening is outlined in detail in the Havening Techniques® Primer, on the introductory DVD, and in When the Past Is Always Present.

What is Havening and How Does It Work?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD6PcEWDJbo

Edited transcription of video narrative (narrative and video animation copyright Tam Johnston , Fresh Insight Coaching; used by permission)

Havening is a new psychological technique that has the power to treat everything from work related stress, anxiety, fear, troubling memories and more in a straightforward set of steps that you can learn to do yourself.

WHAT’S UNDER OUR HOOD? LEARNING ABOUT THE BRAIN

We’re going to cover what it is, but first in order to understand how it works, we need to know a little more about our brain. So, let’s just pause, rewind for a moment and enter the world of what’s under our hood.

Each of us is completely unique with different upbringings, experiences and exposures across our lives. We are our history—the collective results of our experiences to date. Individually this makes up what is known as the landscape of our brain, which is literally to get a little bit scientific, the electrochemical state of our brain at any given time.

OUR BRAIN’S LANDSCAPE —RESILIENT OR VULNERABLE?

As we grow and go through our lives, that landscape may have had good caretakers and been allowed to develop protected from harm and has grown into a beautifully formed environment with strong well laid out pathways, leading to beautiful places tall resilient foliage that is able to bend and bounce back in the wind without breaking, with its own resident gardener who’s been taught its work and understands the importance of feeding the land with water and a ready supply of valuable nutrients so it may yield the results of its fruit and contribute so that it fulfills its purpose in relation to the greater land that it exists amongst.

Alternatively, that landscape may develop in an unprotected, polluted atmosphere, exposed to the harsh elements with pathways leading to dead ends, obstacles and hazards, leaving it weak vulnerable and purposeless, depleted of its richest resources and battling hard to survive in the conditions it is exposed to.

If any of us have been exposed to negative experiences, grown up in environments—or faced adverse situations and life events, this can alter our landscape and leave it

7 vulnerable, setting the stage for how we respond to future events and our level of resilience or vulnerability.

This already vulnerable landscape can also present itself in everyday life through unwanted behaviors and responses such as: predisposition to PTSD, anxiety, OCD, panic and phobias; living in fear; anger and defensiveness; struggle to cope with stressors in life; low mood and depression; chronic pain, tension and psychosomatic disorders; substance abuse and addictions; unwanted chronic emotions and extreme reactions disproportionate to the situation.

So, this landscape can become chronically altered, leaving us susceptible to these facts in our lives. But even a stronger landscape can become temporarily disrupted by particular events that may occur to us, leaving it temporarily exposed and vulnerable, or if untreated, can become more chronically so. If this landscape is vulnerable and we then experience an event or situation, this can sometimes be stored as a traumatic memory.

HOW MEMORIES GET ENCODED TRAUMATICALLY

So how does this happen? What is going on under our hood? What happens that’s different inside the brain in the creation of a traumatic memory versus how we normally experience memories?

The sensory information that we’e experiencing in the moment in that event comes through our neurology, through all of our senses into what is known as the thalamus in our brain. The thalamus then passes a certain amount of the information directly onto the amygdala, which is this that is responsible for detecting immediately whether we are under threat or in a non-threatening situation. If what we are perceiving to be going on is nonthreatening, then we just store certain elements of this information as a normal memory.

FOUR COMPONENTS TO TRAUMATIZATION

So, what’s different in traumatization? Let’s look at the components now. So, we have the event itself—there has to be a particular event or experience that occurs. and as we’ve talked about with the amygdala before, if the amygdala perceives, with the information that is available that there is a threat, and the landscape is already vulnerable, there is one more component that needs to be present in order for us to encode the memory traumatically.

PERCEIVED INESCAPABILITY —KEY FACTOR IN TRAUMATIC ENCODING

And this is a perceived sense of inescapability. What we mean by this is something that is occurring as an event by which we feel that we have no means to escape. This doesn’t have to be a literal escape; there are many situations in life that we perceive that we have no way out, or that we are stuck, helpless, out of control, and at the mercy of others. Or in the moment we perceive that we can’t do anything to get ourselves out of it. Of course, there are the more obvious situations where we are literally unable to escape. But whichever of these it is, if we can’t find a way out, or we’re out of control, this is one of the contributory elements that means that we’ve become traumatized.

So we have the vulnerable landscape, we are perceiving it to be threatening; we have an event or a series of experiences collectively and a strong emotional response to it because we’re being threatened.

TRAUMATIC ENCODING—WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE THE BRAIN

How does this occur within the brain? Let’s revisit the amygdala, where all of this occurs. All of the information is coming is though all of our senses through the thalamus and into the amygdala, where it is carried through a series of nerves known as neurons. These neurons form a pathway from one neuron to the next to the next and so on.

Between each neuron there’s a gap that the information has to jump across. This information is in the form of an electrochemical pathway. In other words, it’s a form of electrical waves and chemicals.

At the end of each neuron we have what is known as a pre-synaptic neuron. The synapse being the gap that this information has to jump across. So the information gets to the pre-synapses, and is transported as chemicals across to what is known as the post synaptic neuron—the neuron on the other side of the gap.

It is on the surface of this post synaptic neuron that there are receptors ready to receive these chemical to transmit the information through down into that neuron and onwards.

There is a particular type of receptor on the post-synaptic surface of the neurons in the amygdala that is responsible for this traumatic encoding. When information through this signal including the emotion producing stimulus from the event itself, gets to this synapse, chemicals which—and activate a particular type of receptor are released from it.

AMPA RECEPTOR—ALLOWS TRAUMATIC SIGNALING TO OCCUR

And they activate what is known as an AMPA receptor on the surface of the post-synaptic neuron. A particular protein enzyme is also released, which is called the PKM-zeta like enzyme, and this enzyme permanently binds this AMPA receptor to the surface of the neuron. In other words, locking this receptor in place.

What this receptor can then enable is each time we experience a trigger it can pass that signal straight through the except all the way to the emotional response. This allows a direct and extremely strong link and connected pathway to the emotional content.

From this moment on, whenever something triggers it, this remotely similar to the similar to the initial event, not necessary logically, but just perceiving in that way by our unconscious mind, the pathway fires off and generates the same emotional response, the associated behaviors that come off the back of that and releases the stress hormones in response to this event.

TRAUMATIZATION GENERALIZES OUR RESPONSE TO TRIGGER STIMULI

For example, say we are unfortunate enough to get bitten by a dog and we had a vulnerable landscape and we perceived that to be threatening to our lives, and we couldn’t get out of it and we have no way to get out of the park or wherever it has occurred. The next time we see a dog or a park or even a shadow that could look like a dog, or anything that reminds us of that particular initial event, the trigger gets fired off, it zips through that pathway straight to our emotional response, let’s say intense fear and panic. This receptor that’s responsible for transmitting this signal, stays permanently anchored on the surface of this neuron, ready to get activated whenever something signals to it we experience a trigger to transmit this through to the emotional response.

HAVENING TO THE RESCUE: DEPOTENTIATING THE AMYGDALA’S RESPONSE

However, and this is where finally Havening comes in. Havening can disrupt this pathway permanently delinking the trigger from that response.

What is Havening? Simply put, havening is using applied touch to accessible parts of our body in order to alter our brain chemistry. It is this altered chemistry that gives us a way in to be able to biologically change the way our memories have been stored.

HAVENING DELINKS THE EMOTIONAL CONTENT OF A MEMORY

The Ruden brothers who created Havening after years of research have found a way to literally delink the emotional content of a memory from the memory itself. Therefore, meaning that the memory is no longer traumatic.

Because of the way the Havening Touch alters our brain chemistry, its’ application is not limited to traumatic memories. It has multiple uses as it creases a calm state and creates chemical changes that enable its use in depression, anxiety, as well as begin used over the longer term to get the amygdala which we’ve spoken so much, over time, to literally stand down and stop detecting threat which is what is going on in anxiety.

REBUILDING OUR NEUROCHEMICAL LANDSCAPE FOR MORE RESILIENCE

It also when used over a longer period of time, alters that landscape in our brain, starts building up to make it stronger and more resilient, biologically changing and altering the state of our brain. Due to the state that it evokes within us, through the Havening touch, it can also be used extremely powerfully to do the equivalent of installing suggestions to ourselves, exploring beliefs that we have or that we want to have, as well as outcomes and goals that we have for ourselves in a very intense and compelling way.

HOW HAVENING DE-TRAUMATIZES

But for now, for this particular video we’re going to look at what Havening does with these events we've been speaking so much about. And how it helps to de-traumatize them and remove that emotional response.

In what is known as event havening, we initially and extremely briefly have to activate that neurology and get that AMPA receptor activated, ready to transmit that signal. To do that we need to really briefly insure that the memory of the event is recalled. Beyond that, we start going immediately into distraction techniques and start applying the sensory input as Havening Touch®.

HAVENING TOUCH® GENERATES DELTA WAVES THAT TRANSFORM OUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY

The touch is gentle calm movements—done on our shoulders, upper arms, palms or across our cheeks. Very quickly this touch produces a form of electrical waves which is known as the delta wave. This delta wave is the same as we produce when we are in slow wave sleep, the deepest form of sleep we can go in. This delta wave changes the state of our brain, and it alters the chemical and electrical balance of it. The touch and the delta

11 wave increases the level of serotonin surging around in our system and decreases cortisol which decreases our stress levels. All of this leads to a very calm state.

CALCINEURIN TO THE RESCUE

That Delta wave travels through and gets to the post-synaptic neuron automatically and as it does so it opens up what is known as the calcium channels. A channel which gets calcium directly into the post synaptic neuron. This calcium activates a particular protein enzyme called calcineurin. This calcineurin effectively dissolves the other enzyme that was holding this AMPA receptor —activated, what is known as potentiated. on the surface of the post synaptic neuron.

AMPA RECEPTOR INTERNALIZES—EMOTIONAL TRIGGER DELINKED

By dissolving the enzyme that was locking this AMPA receptor in place, the AMPA receptor is allowed to internalize. And therefore, the signal from a particular trigger has no way to link it to the emotional content anymore. The path is permanently disrupted, meaning if the trigger occurs, it delinks that from the emotional response. No emotional response to a memory, means that it is no longer traumatic, it is just a memory.

WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE DEFINED BY OUR HISTORY

So, there you have it! Havening touch can alter memories, change our landscape and make it far more resilient. So, though we are always our history, we do not need to be defined by it.

Dr. Ronald Ruden on the Origins, Development, and Neuroscience of Havening

(Interview excerpted from Fifteen Minutes To Freedom - reprinted by permission)

Harry Pickens: Dr. Ruden, I’d like for you to share the story behind Havening’s discovery. How did you get interested in this subject in the first place, and what specifically awakened you to the possibility that has now become the Havening Techniques®?

Ronald Ruden : Back in 2001, my colleague and friend Paul McKenna was visiting me in New York. We were walking along Central Park West. He asked me if I had heard of a technique called tapping, whereby you tap on acupoints. I had not, but was curious. The technique was described in the book, Tapping the Healer Within , written by Roger Callahan. I bought the book, read it, and I thought, “This is a bunch of silliness. How could tapping on someone’s face produce a change in the brain?” It made no sense to me.

I decided to experiment. I had a doctor in my practice who had a severe phobia of cats. I showed her the book; I showed her the algorithm which Callahan described for this phobia, and I said, “Okay. Let’s do this. There’s nothing to lose. I’m just curious. I don’t think it’s going to work.” So, we performed the technique described by Dr. Callahan. Lo and behold, her ability to bring up a fear response when thinking about cats completely disappeared, literally within minutes. That was really interesting to me.

Over the next week or so, I asked every patient who walked in the door, “Do you have a phobia?” And about five people had significant phobias. I used the same algorithm, and sure enough, I cured every one of them.

I decided that there may be something here, but the model that Dr. Callahan had put forth was based on an Eastern model of the flow of energy through meridians. According to this model, illness occurs because these meridians are blocked, producing what he called a perturbation in the brain, in what he described as the thought field.

I’m an allopathic physician. I wanted to see if there’s actually a neuroscientific point of view which we could use to explain what’s going on, because I was fascinated by how rapidly and completely these simple phobias were removed and dissolved. You have to understand, I had absolutely no idea how this could possibly work; this idea that tapping fingers on your forehead or under your armpit after the person had activated the thought process could cure the phobia.

Around the same time, there was work coming out of Joseph LeDoux’s research lab here in New York City by a Dr. Nader. Dr. Nader found that encoded trauma could be dissolved by interfering with protein synthesis after activating the memory of that fear. And he called this inhibition of reconsolidation. A whole new field opened up, exploring the mechanisms by which reconsolidation could be blocked by using specific chemicals or drugs like Anisomycin, which inhibits protein synthesis.

I got really excited, thinking, “That’s how this must work! We must be interfering with protein synthesis.” I spent the next two years reading every article there was, (and there were lots of them) on inhibition of reconsolidation. And, I kept on conducting, in my office, phobia treatments.

H: Continuing to use the same tapping protocols?

R: Yes, the same protocols, with a modification. By that time, Gary Craig had recognized that the wide variety of specialized protocols Dr. Callahan put together were unnecessary. Craig found that one simple protocol could be used to fit the full range of the various conditions. Yet he still worked from the same underlying model, this idea that tapping on the acupoints allowed the chi to flow more properly through the meridians and thereby would remove the thought field perturbation. I still couldn’t wrap my brain around exactly how that would work. So I’m getting excited about this concept of inhibiting protein synthesis, thinking that this must be the answer.

Then I made an observation. One of the papers I read noted that the removal of the reconsolidation took about six hours. For example, suppose you set out to train an animal to fear something. Let’s say you associated a light and a shock. You show them the light and then give them a shock. They freeze. Show them a light, give them a shock, they freeze. Do it a couple of times, show them the light, then they freeze, in a typical Pavlovian model. Next, you show them the light and then inject a protein synthesis inhibitor like Anisomycin. Sure enough, when retested, researchers found that the previous response to the light no longer existed. However, it took six hours for this thing to kick in.

I realized, of course, that when using this tapping protocol, the tapping instantaneously removed the response to the stimulus. There was a six-hour delay by using protein synthesis, and essentially no delay by using the tapping protocol. So, the whole idea of inhibition of protein synthesis to reconsolidate the memory was obviously incorrect, in terms of how tapping worked. I broke out in a sweat. I thought to myself, okay. I have two choices. I can throw up my hands and go, “Oops,” or I can realize that this is an opportunity. There must be another mechanism by which this works, because the results were so clear.

So, I went back to the literature. I needed something that could be very rapid, and the only thing that could be this rapid based on my reading of the literature was synaptic depotentiation; the removal of receptors on the post-synaptic neuron.

In this model, when a signal would come through, there would be no receptors on that neuron to propagate the signal, so that signal—stimulus—would no longer produce a response. And, of course, that was my ‘aha’ moment.

The issue did not involve protein synthesis. In fact, it rather involved synaptic depotentiation of the post-synaptic neurons along what we call the thalamo-amygdala pathway. So, the thalamus would send the signal to the amygdala, and on the amygdala side, which is the post-synaptic side, the receptor would then be depotentiated, which means that it is removed from the surface and then internalized, so that when the signal from the thalamus came along, there was nothing available to propagate the signal.

From there, I began to look at different ways tapping could produce a signal to depotentiate these receptors. This was a big mystery. I initially thought that it was serotonergic. In fact, in the first paper I wrote, published in 2005, the metaphor I used was that activation of the memory by imaginal recall was like opening up a pathway —imagine a pathway comprised of indentations—holes—on a beach. And then, as a result of the tapping, a wave of serotonin comes in and fills the holes so that the pathway is no longer visible. The holes represent the receptors which have now been removed from the surface of the post-synaptic neuron, no longer available to propagate the signal.

As it turns out, that simplistic metaphor was correct. We now know, from the research, that it is the AMPA receptors which are the transmission process by which an intermittent stimulus is transmitted from the pre- to the post-synaptic receptors, which allow for the signal to be converted into a response.

Once I had this fundamental idea that AMPA receptors were needed, then I had to figure out the details of the mechanism by which touch produced the depotentiation. This led to about a decade’s more literature review and experimentation, eventually leading to the current thinking about how this works.

I began to look at Mel Harper’s work. He also looked at this process of synaptic depotentiation, and his idea was that a delta wave, which he was able to generate in the brain by using vibrating pads on people’s hands, could depotentiate the AMPA receptors on the post-synaptic neuron of the amygdala. I wondered if there was a better way of generating delta waves. Harper had studied this. He put vibrating pads on the cheeks, on

15 the palms, on the arms. Then by measuring simple EEG, he was able to see how it increased the delta waves.

I didn’t have that equipment, so I decided, instead of tapping, to use simple soothing touch. I also looked at the work of Tiffany Field. Working in the area of massage therapy, of touch therapy, she showed that both serotonin and dopamine went up and cortisol went down by using therapeutic massage.

And so, I began to think that maybe a specific stroking used in therapeutic massage, called effleurage, which is a soft, gentle stroking, might work instead of having to apply electrical stimulation via vibrating pads to the face, to the arms, or to the palms. I began to look at this as a possibility, and to explore this hypothesis with hundreds and hundreds of patients, experimenting with exactly where and how to apply the touch.

I noticed over time that this simple stroking of the arms, under the eyes, the forehead, and the palms was very effective. I am now convinced that this manner of touch generates significant delta wave production in the brain, and that this, now referred to as Havening Touch ®, is what allows us to depotentiate the post-synaptic neuron.

As I continued to look at how delta waves in different parts of the brain interact differently with memory systems, I, along with my team of early collaborators, eventually produced a systematic process, not only encompassing the removal of an unwanted emotional experience, but also the introduction and incorporation of a desired emotional state.

As I began to search out the mechanism by which positive outcomes could be enhanced, it became clear that, during slow-wave sleep, the memories of the day are consolidated into the brain. During daytime, when you’re awake, delta waves do not normally occur. So, it was obviously a paradox that although we were awake, the brain perceived us as being asleep and thereby was open for consolidation of new memories.

Once we understood the role of delta waves in these various neurobiological processes, we were able to produce a comprehensive, system that we now call Havening Techniques ®.

Beginning with Event Havening, the system now includes Transpirational Havening, which helps to clear the traumatic encoding of entire memory networks, organized around the experience of a specific emotion, such as fear, anger, sadness, or rage; Outcome Havening, which helps the client to actually change their memory of a traumatic event so that they can experience a feeling of empowerment instead of victimization; Affirmational and Iffirmational Havening, which activate and install positive patterns of thinking and feeling;

16 and Role Havening, which allows for an internal experience of resolution of relationships that have previously triggered emotional distress. There are also numerous variations on these core components that are used for building resilience.

H: Thank you. Would you speak a little bit to your discoveries as a physician in relationship to the mind-body connection? That is, how something presenting as disease or chronic pain, could actually be connected to a traumatically-encoded memory?

R: That was another one of the surprises. Robert Scaer, one of my colleagues, had written a book, The Body Bears the Burden . He noticed that even simple, minor injuries could produce pain far out of proportion to the event, and he concluded that this had to happen in the brain. He recognized that there had to be a place in the brain where these things were stored so that stimuli that would, on a subconscious level, activate the memory when the pain occurred, would then produce the pain response. And, in fact, that’s exactly the case.

My first example of this—I remember it vividly—was a woman who came in presenting with pain in her right hand. 100% of my colleagues would have sent her for an MRI, or sent her to a hand surgeon. They would have not known what to do. But, using the model that this pain may have been encoded during trauma, in my history taking I asked the question, “Did you ever injure your hand?” This was because when you looked at her hand, there was no obvious source of the cause of the pain. And she told me her story. Fifteen years ago, she had traveled to London, where she was in a cab accident. The cab flipped over and her hand slammed against the door. I said, “Well, you said the pain began three months ago. What happened three months ago?” She responded that three months ago, she decided to return to London. Interesting. So, I said, “Do you still remember the car accident?” She says, “Like it was yesterday.” I said, “Bring it up.” We brought up the event. We applied Havening touch to the event and brought the SUD (Subjective Unit of Distress) down to zero, and instantaneously, the pain and the problem disappeared, never to return.

H: What other conditions have you seen resolved and healed through proper application of Havening Techniques?

R: We’ve seen over the years, with close to 100,000 Havenings done worldwide, some astonishing results, results which were untouchable by pharmacological or psychotherapeutic means. In addition to the many examples of emotional healing that have taken place, we’ve seen removal of chronic back pain, treatment of reflex sympathetic dystrophy, removal of PTSD, treatment of what we call idiopathic neutropenia, where white count is low.

H: Dr. Ruden, please speak more about the difference between Havening and other modes of physical and emotional healing.

R: Havening represents a paradigm shift. We’re not using pharmaceuticals; we’re not using talk therapy. We’re using a delta wave, which we define as an “electro-ceutical”—using the electrical part of the brain. The advantage I think Havening has is that we have a solid neuroscientific understanding of how this works. Of course, these models and mechanisms of action remain speculative. We can’t yet get in the brain and directly observe these processes. But in vitro work in petri dishes confirms many of our hypotheses. Thus far, we have not identified a single example of something that did not fit the model we are proposing for how Havening works. Not one. So we’re pretty confident that this model accurately explains what’s going on.

So, we hope that the science itself will support our commitment to move ahead. My goal is to spread the word, to get Havening to people who can use it for themselves. There are caveats to all of these things. Sometimes people have such significant traumas that self- havening may not be enough. These are concerns that we have, so when we teach self- havening, we suggest that if you have a history of trauma, that you find and engage a practitioner who can help guide you.

H: Yes. One of the conversations I’ve had with Tony Burgess, who, of course, is one of your primary trainers is that Havening is a tool, not a therapy. For example, if you think about lasers, you can use lasers for lighting at a party, or you can use lasers to help perform the most intricate surgery. The tool can be applied in a multiplicity of ways depending on the scope of practice, the ethical guidelines, the level of skill, and so forth.

R: I think that’s true. That’s why we call it Havening Techniques as opposed to Havening therapy.

Something else that is really wonderful about Havening Techniques is that the practitioner doesn’t have to know what the problem or memory is. As long as the individual can bring the emotions into awareness, we can treat them. This is completely different from existing allopathic approaches, where you have to make a diagnosis. We don’t make diagnoses. We deal with emotions and physical disturbances.

The idea that we don’t need a diagnosis; rather, we simply need to find out the root of the issue, actually comes from Freud, who looked towards hypnosis to find the origin of the individual’s problems. Although he had words that described the problems, he didn’t make diagnoses. This is another reason why I think our approach is very different from

18 the Western psychiatric or psychological community which relies on diagnostic criteria to begin to treat the patient. And, in fact, the whole of psychopharmacology is also based on the diagnostic paradigm.

We choose not to look at it that way. We don’t like to focus exclusively on symptoms or label people diagnostically. We look at people from a different perspective, seeing them as the consequences of the events that happened in their life. Then we take those events which were encoded traumatically, and attempt to remove that encoding so that the consequences, the downstream effects of that encoding no longer cause chronic, inescapable stress. Then the brain can return back to its normal homeostasis and the body can heal.

H: Thank you. That was a beautiful summation of the process. One more question. What is it like for you to recognize that your research, discoveries, and work are poised to change the face of how we think about emotional, physical, psychological dis-ease and healing?

R: One of the advantages of being my age, nearly 70, is that there’s no need for me to look at this as a discovery which makes me feel important. I look at it as an offering to the world; a new way of looking at things. This is never going to be about myself. This about the technology which has been created.

I stand on a foundation of all the great scientific research which was done before me. This discovery was only made possible because of millions of hours of brilliant thinking, research and diligent effort which led to hard-won knowledge. I’m just another piece in the puzzle. I have a neuroscience background. I’m a physician. I have, by temperament, an intense curiosity and persistence. From my point of view, I was the right person at the right time. This work represents the sum total of the discoveries which were made beforehand. I simply put them together in a different way.

I am personally very excited. I continue to explore and learn. But Havening belongs to the world. And so we are not here to compete, we are here to share, and so if we can do that, we have accomplished what we set out to do.

H: Thank you so much. As you stand on the shoulders of those who’ve gone before you, many will stand on your shoulders as this discovery touches, transforms and helps to heal the world.

R: Anyone who learns and uses this technology that we call Havening Techniques is excited by its power. Previously, the ability to treat some of these conditions would take

19 such a long time. Now, through this technology, we can rapidly alleviate suffering that in many cases, has been considered untouchable.

What makes me happiest is the fact that other people have joined us in this work. Not only have they joined; they are engaged, they’ve contributed ideas, they’ve created new techniques. This is probably the thing I am the most proud of, that this technology now inspires people to find new ways of using it. You are correct: people will stand on my shoulders and create new ways to help others along the way.

H: Thank you.

SCRIPTS AND TRANSCRIPTS— EVENT HAVENING

Basic Facilitated Event Havening Script Dr. Ronald Ruden (see Primer, Appendix A, pages 86 and 87—reproduced by permission)

Facilitated Event Havening Instructions

1. Have the client close their eyes and activate the emotional component of the distressing event by bringing it to mind. Then have them rate the distress level 0- 10, where 0 is not at all and 10 is extreme. This is called a SUD (Subjective Units of Distress) score. After stating a SUD the client empties their mind.

2. Begin Havening by stroking downward on the upper arms, Arm Havening, and vary with Face and Hand Havening Touch ®. In Facilitated Havening, the practitioner performs the touch. Facilitated Self-Havening, the client performs the touch.

3. The practitioner asks the client to visualize walking up a staircase of twenty steps. The practitioner says “As you climb, each step causes your distress to diminish and vanish and for you to feel safe, peaceful and calm. Count 1-20 aloud as you climb the steps.” Continue Havening Touch ®.

4. After the client has reached twenty, have them hum a familiar tune. Say, “Begin to hum the song Row, Row, Row Your Boat for two rounds ,” while continuing the Havening Touch ®. When humming is finished, tell the client, “open your eyes and look to the right and left. Close your eyes, inhale deeply and slowly exhale.” Continue Havening, and have the client rate their SUD.

5. Repeat 2-4. You may choose the same visual and song or another for variety. Other visual images can include swimming, running, jumping rope, etc. One then hums any neutral song: Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, Take Me Out to The Ball Game . After each round (Arm, Face, Palm), rate the SUD. Continue till the SUD reaches 0 or score remains stable after two additional rounds.

Paul McKenna Event Havening Video Transcript

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C1liEFCZm4

Transcription of video narrative (narrative and video copyright Paul McKenna)

The process we’re about to do together is called Havening. As you read in the book, this is a powerful psychosensory process which will help you clear any past limiting experiences that may be holding you back in the present.

In a moment, I’m going to ask you to think about something in your past that you have uncomfortable feelings around, or any area of your life where you feel blocked, even if you’re not sure what that block is.

Once we begin, l’ll be asking you to gently stroke the sides of your arms and follow along with some simple visualizations and move your eyes laterally from side to side what I ask you to do so.

This is a deceptively simple process which will have a powerful positive effect on your life.

In order to benefit fully, please set aside at least fifteen minutes where you can really concentrate.

First of all, I’d like you to think about the uncomfortable memory or the feeling of being blocked and concentrate on it and rate it on a feeling of 1 to 10 — ten’s the strongest; 1 is the weakest.

And I’d like you to place your arms on your shoulders like this and begin gently stroking the side of your arms like this.

And — close your eyes and clear your mind.

And — I want you to imagine that we’re walking together on a beach, and with each footstep that you take in the sand I want you to count out loud from one to twenty.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 19 19 20

Now open your eyes.

Keep stroking the side of your arms — keep your head still — and

Move your eyes to the right — and then laterally to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left —

Now close your eyes and — imagine we’re walking on a beautiful lawn on a summers day.

With each footstep that you take on the grass, I’d like you to count out loud with me from one to twenty.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Now open your eyes and keep your head still and — move your eyes laterally to the right — and then eyes to the left — eyes to the right — keep stroking the side of your arms — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — and then —

Close your eyes and imagine you’re walking down a beautiful staircase.

With each step you take let’s count out loud from one to twenty

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Now open your eyes and stop. You’ve just flooded your brain with Delta waves and you should be feeling different.

I’d like you to now rate that feeling that we talked about at the beginning on a scale of one to ten.

If that feeling has completely disappeared and the memory’s changed, fantastic! If it hasn’t, we’ll just continue to work on it until it does.

If it has disappeared, I’d like you to find another time you felt uncomfortable or another feeling of feeling blocked.

I’d like you to concentrate on that feeling and rate it on a scale of one to ten.

(ROUND TWO)

Place your arms here on your shoulders and — close your eyes — and clear you mind as you begin stroking the side of your arms and — imagine you’re walking with me on a beach with each footstep you take in the sand count out loud with me from one to twenty

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Now open your eyes and keep your head still and move your eyes laterally to the right — and then eyes to the left — eyes to the right — keep stroking the side of your arms eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — and then — close your eyes and imagine once again that were walking on a beautiful lawn on a summer day and — with each footstep you take in the grass count out loud with me from one to twenty

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 26

Now open your eyes keep your head still keep stroking the side of your arms and move your eyes laterally to the right and then eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left and close your eyes again — continue to stroke the side of your arms and Imagine we’re walking down a beautiful staircase with each footstep that you take count out loud one to twenty

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Now take a deep breath in and gently let it go and then stop relax open your eyes and come on back…

If that feeling is completely disappeared and the memory’s changed fantastic. If it hasn’t we’ll just continue to work on it until it does.

If it has disappeared, I’d like you to find another time you felt uncomfortable or another time you felt blocked.

(ROUND THREE)

And — I’d like you to concentrate on that feeling and rate it on a scale of one to ten. Place your arms here on your shoulders and clear you mind as you begin stroking the sides of your arms — And — imagine you’re walking with me on a beach and with each footstep you take in the sand count out loud from one to twenty

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Open your eyes still stroking the side of your arms keep your head still and move your eyes laterally to the right — and then to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left — and then close your eyes — and imagine once again we’re walking on a beautiful lawn on a summers day — and with each footstep you take in the grass count out loud with me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Now open your eyes keep your head still keep stroking the side of your arms and move your eyes to the right — and your eyes to the left — eyes to the right — eyes to the left eyes to the right eyes to the left eyes to the right eyes to the left eyes to the right eyes to the left and close your eyes again continue to stroke the side of your arms and imagine we’re walking down a beautiful staircase with each footstep that you take count out loud from one to twenty. 28

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Now take a deep breath in And gently let it go

Stop relax open your eyes and come on back.

You can do this as often as you like Whenever you feel overwhelmed and anytime you want to feel more calm and in control.

Carol Robertson—Event Havening Demonstration using the neurobiology of de-potentiation as her ‘conversational distraction’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBdKV2THLY0

In this brilliant Event Havening demonstration, Carol Robertson actually uses discussion of the neurobiology of depotentiation as her primary distraction.

Carol: Thank you for working with us. This is the first time you’ve experienced havening techniques?

Mike: It is, yeah.

Carol: We’re on a training course.

Mike: Yeah.

Carol: You’re very experienced in lots of different disciplines.

Mike: Yeah, I use a lot of different therapies. I have done for a long time.

Carol: Great, cool! What would you like to work on? We could work content free or we can…

Mike: No, I’m happy to share it. It’s a memory of… How old are my kids now? 20. They would have been… It’s about a 15-year old memory and it was at the sea side in Cornwall on a really stormy day and I stupidly sent the kids…

The sea was coming in and there was a cliff like that, like I could see the beach on the other side. I said to them, “When the waves go back out again, you leg it round and then I’ll follow you.”

They were only very little and they went around and then, I was shouting at them. All of a sudden, I couldn’t tell whether they’ve got around or whether they’ve been taken by the sea. I was thinking maybe they were drowning, but then, by that time, the sea had come in too far and I couldn’t get round.

Carol: You couldn’t see either!

Mike: I couldn’t see either. So, I had to run over the top of the cliff and back round and I still remember this day, thinking about what am I going to tell my wife if we cannot find them. When I got back down there, I couldn’t find them, but they’ve gone and hidden in a cave, but then I’ve found them.

Carol: Right.

Mike: But that memory stayed. If I go down to that particular cove, then I still will get a kind of memory of it and even now, if the dog’s out of sight for too long – because it’s that thing about someone that needs you – I think there’s a sort of pattern there as well, where you have that kind of feeling. That’s the event .

Carol: Great. Thank you for sharing with us. It’s really interesting. It’s interesting how the pattern still affects you now and it’s not necessary. What we could do (we’re being filmed)— we could do quite an interesting thing where we could use event havening which is a process which we use when there is a clear event, as there is in this case—one event. That would probably be ideal.

What we could do is activate that, which you’ve just done—actually, you activated it when you had that experience with the dogs—we can activate that again and we’re going to distract you. When we do the distraction, I could tell you about the science of what’s happening as a distraction.

Mike: Okay.

Carol: We could do that and see how we go. I use distraction quite often. There’s lots of different ways. We can talk about distraction. So, let’s go for that.

If you close your eyes and take yourself back to that event and just see what you saw, hear what you’ve heard, feel what you felt as you’re running over the top and having that internal dialogue about what you would say to your wife and all of those things that had happened. I imagine as well it took up a lot of breath to run round there and there’s quite a lot to this event. In some ways, it’s several events. It’s almost like, if we’re in a movie, there’s a sequence of things. You can notice as well there’s a particular part that is the most powerful emotionally now and just notice your emotions. This is more than likely the last time it will feel like that so allow yourself to go there . You’re safe with me. What number would you give it if we were using the scale that we looked at earlier?

Mike: Probably a seven. A seven or an eight.

Carol: Can you name the emotion or emotions?

Mike: I think it’s fear.

Carol: Fear. Okay. Great work. Thank you!

If you open your eyes and come out of that, I would like to start doing some havening touch, if that’s okay. We’ve already done a little bit, so you’re familiar with that.

If you put your palms out, first of all, just relax really comfortably there, so you can just be really relaxed. What we want to do now is just do distraction because we’ve activated that thought.

So, I know you’re quite fascinated by the science and you already know a lot about neurology and all these different things. We haven’t talked yet about what happens when something like this happens to us as human beings.

What happens is the brain—our system—is set up to keep us safe. When this sensory information comes in and we have to survive, we have to be safe, the information takes a different track to the brain. It goes to the amygdala. We have two amygdalae and they are quite deep in our head. They’re like little almonds back here. We’ve got some pictures later on that we’ll look at. Inside the amygdala, we have neurons which, if you imagine, the receptors on them become activated. If I say that this is like the two neurons, when something like this happens, these things called AMPA receptors pop out. They come out quite slowly and they hold the sensory information. When the thing doesn’t resolve, when there’s quite a lot to it and nobody rescues us from it, then, a material a bit like a cement or a glue material comes in between them. It’s a kynase and it holds them in place and the idea is that they could stay in place for your whole life and they’re there. What’s fascinating about havening is it causes these to change (I’d like to move up to your arms, if that’s okay).

Mike: Yeah.

Carol: The way that it causes them to change is the havening touch generates a delta wave – a slow electrical wave – and that engages with calcium in the brain and it becomes calcineurin. That’s what we think it’s happening. (Do your palms again)

The calcineurin has the ability to change the phosphorylate—the kynase, which is here; it engages with that and this comes away. The AMPA receptors are able to go back into the neuron. We’re back to our two neurons with AMPA receptors and they go back in and they’re reabsorbed into the neuron. So, we end up with two clean neurons. It’s like going back to the beginning again.

I think what’s happening when we’re doing this process is first of all, when you have those thoughts, you access that memory of that event, it activates that area and even me talking about it just now probably activates a bit and then, having the delta wave at the same time, your brain system kind of goes, “Oh, Mike’s okay! We’re alright!” The depotentiation process starts happening. It takes about ten minutes for the process. So we want to keep doing the havening touch.

You can, of course, apply the havening touch yourself. If you like, you can do some on your face and just imagine that slow delta wave – that process occurring. By talking about science, it hopefully engages a different part of your brain.

Mike: It did because I haven’t heard about that bit about the sort of gluey bit. That was quite new to me, but also, it reminded me of someone. There is a way of sharing how the amygdala works, isn’t there? Like a glove in a mitten, which I’ve come across before, which like using… I think you’ve heard of that, haven’t you? You can show the amygdala catching something a holding it and then, letting go of it, which I’ve used with clients before.

Carol: I thought it was like that to begin with. I actually thought that the AMPA receptors fired across from the other neurons have stuck on and then, I came to understand that actually they emerged out of the neuron and then that they can reabsorb.

Mike: But they can’t reabsorb until…

Carol: Until they’re unglued, until they’re unstuck.

Mike: Yeah, and that made more sense because before, I had always seen it as being sort of caught and letting go, but retracting back in and being able to retract back in is a bit like, if you’ve got your hand in a bottle, you can’t get your hand out of the bottle. If you let go of the pebble, then you can get your hand out of the bottle.

Carol: I wonder as well. I’ve spoken to Ron Ruden about it, who developed Event Havening techniques. I’ve spoken to him about the thing that happens… Has this ever happened to you when you’re a kid and something happens and you’re really

scared and then, your parents or somebody else arrives and they go, “Oh, it’s okay,” and you start giggling, really, really giggling, and then, of course, everybody’s like, “click” because it’s not completely sorted, but they’re obviously going to be alright and then, you can’t stop giggling more and more. You know it’s really inappropriate, but you’re like, “Oh my God!”

Mike: I remember now, once I’ve caught them and they were in the cave messing around, and then I’ve given them such a telling off and then, really cross and making them march up the beach—telling them off terribly—and then, they’d cry and be upset because actually, they haven’t actually done anything wrong.

Carol: Well they hadn’t had your experience!

Mike: Well no, it was me being a negligent parent and then actually, going back, deciding to say to them, “Don’t tell your mum,” and then, we told her about it six months later when it felt safe to tell her.

Carol: And that’s an amygdala-based response that happened at a time you’re like, “Oh!”, you know?

Mike: I just felt a bit sigh come in and it was a bit of a “let go” actually, I think.

Carol: Sometimes, what happens is you get really sticky tears and it changes – I think our idea as therapists— I can’t even get the word. Abreaction – because they’re really just emotions and I think these sticky tears that we get may be something to do with the depotentiation.

I had one training; everybody has these sticky tears, but we didn’t have an analyst to see what was in those tears, but going back to that giggling, I wonder if that’s the natural depotentiation.

Something happens to your kids; in the amygdala—the AMPA receptors come out, the gluey stuff’s coming along and then, parents come along and everything’s okay and the gluey stuff doesn’t happen and the AMPA receptors go back in with all the giggling.

So when you’re working, if you can make your distraction really funny, then that works well. You can also use counting, you can use humming, things that activate the brain. And just calibrating. We talked earlier about EMDR and about eye movements and you can use eye movements. We have eye movements as part of

the havening techniques. If you do a little bit of that, that’s okay. So you can keep on doing this havening touch and if you can keep your head still and just follow my finger, I’m going to distract you at the same time by telling you a bit about it, if that’s okay, and what we’re actually moving –- (keep your head still) as I understand it— we’re moving the little muscles under the eye and this generates delta wave too, which I think is quite a fascinating idea that Ron has. It’s another way to generate delta waves. We’ve got delta wave generation—hands, arms, face, and by moving our eyes.

How are you feeling now?

Mike: Very calm.

Carol: And if you’d like to access the memory now and just notice – I mean, you know about internal pictures – notice if there’s any change in those.

Mike: There’s a total change. I see them as adults now and they’re both smirking, kind of laughing. They’re smirking because of me being able to tell this story and they just think it’s quite funny.

Carol: So you’re emotion is different.

Mike: Yeah, it is. I’m quite surprised, because that’s been there a long time. It’s not one that you would call a trauma, but you just call that a kind of bad memory—a bit of a scary memory.

Carol: I think we tend not to (as I was saying earlier) If I say to people, “You’ve had a trauma,” they’re like, “No, it’s nothing—and then you find out all of these things that happened. Human beings are such great survivors. It’s fascinating if we start looking at what makes that path into the amygdala. Certainly, if we’re a bit stressed… You went from eventually being a bit stressed and I don’t know at what point you became afraid—maybe as you went over and didn’t see them or something, that got encoded.

Mike: I think the worst of it was shouting and not hearing any response because of the noise. It was a rough sea. So, the noise of the sea being so loud, and your imagination takes over and you see horrible stuff.

Carol: You start making pictures.

Mike: Yeah.

Carol: I’m testing out here. We’re working so quickly. When you think about that, when we engage in that, how are you?

Mike: Just when I thought again of those pictures and then, just for a second, there was still a picture of them getting washed away. It was still a little bit there, but it didn’t feel like it did earlier. Harriet used to wear a blue coat. I just saw that and I was able to find her blue coat and that’s what she was wearing that day.

Carol: Great! Even though that didn’t happen, let’s consider say that there’s one AMPA receptor left with that. We don’t know if that’s literally what’s happening but conceptually we can look at it this way. Let’s haven that. You accessed it thinking about it and then, telling me about it. Now, let’s do some more havening touch, generate some more delta wave, generate some more calcineurin, unglue anything that has to be unglued. So, let’s think of a really good distraction. We talked a lot about your dogs. What else do you love thinking about? I would think about something other than the subject that we’re working on.

Mike: Cricket!

Carol: Cricket? I don’t know anything about cricket.

Mike: I know everything.

Carol: The closest we ever got to cricket was our school headmaster bought cricket nets, which were probably stolen for poaching fish. We never got to learn about cricket.

Mike: I just like cricket and listen to it if it’s on. I listen to it for seven hours, six hours.

Carol: Is it very relaxing?

Mike: Oh, yeah!

Carol: It’s on the radio, isn’t it?

Mike: Yeah, I don’t really watch it on the telly. I like listening to it on the radio. You have your pictures.

Carol: Do you mean pictures as… When you see those pictures, is it very green?

Mike: It’s very green. And ‘cause you know what most of the players look like you can envisage it. I just like Henry [INAUDIBLE 00:18:10] talking about red buses and pigeons and things like that. It just the most relaxing thing in the world.

Carol: It’s got a kind of rhythm and the noise that the ball makes on the bat – it’s a very distinctive kind of noise, isn’t it?

Mike: Always a gentle sort of hubbub of the crowd in the background.

Carol: Soft summer.

Mike: Yeah, and you’re just waiting for something good to happen, usually, because you want either for a wicket to go down or you want someone to have a blinding inning that you will remember all your life or something like that.

Carol: Do they run… It’s not like rounders, is it? They run back and forward.

Mike: They run back and forward, but every now and then… A few weeks ago, when you had Ben Stokes got the fastest 200 in test match history or something like that.

Carol: Do they time it?

Mike: Yeah, they time it as well. It’s not part of the game, but they time everything. I was just sitting there, just being so pleased with myself that I was—I probably should’ve been working with Sonya when that was going on—I think at that point I had the computer on my lap, but I’m not sure what was going on other than just how exciting it was. It might have been the weekend, but it was happiness.

Carol: Cool! You re-accessed that. So…

Mike: Do you know the memory is almost nothing?

Carol: The other memory?

Mike: Yeah. I’ve just went into it.

Carol: Was that when you did that look?

Mike: Yeah, I wondered about it because I was curious what happened to Harriet’s blue coat.

Carol: You’re looking over. You didn’t look there before.

Mike: Yeah. That was where I stored the memory. The blue coat was up there somewhere.

Carol: Right, okay. So, access the whole package of information and just notice what the format is now.

Mike: It’s quite hard to get the picture now. I can see the sea and it’s rough, but the kids aren’t even in it. It’s just a rough sea, but I don’t feel anything. When we started, I felt quite tight here, but that doesn’t feel tight.

Carol: It’s just a rough sea.

Mike: Just a rough sea.

Carol: It’s quite lovely.

Mike: Yeah.

Carol: Great! What we could do now…. We will wrap on because we’re being filmed. Normally, we’d probably chat and chill out and haven more, but can you take yourself to thinking about taking the dog out for a walk or the dogs?

Mike: Yeah.

Carol: And it disappears off after something or you maybe look away for a moment and it disappears off. Just notice what your brain gives you, really, and what your emotions are about that.

Mike: That’s fine. It disappears all the time, but it always comes back. I’m not going fantasizing about the fact that he’s running into a private area. It’s always worse when I’m with my wife, actually, because she always panics about him running off. I panic less, but it feels fine.

Carol: What if you havened your wife to be more chilled out?

Mike: She’d say, “Don’t do any of that psychological stuff on me,” as do the kids! Carol: What if next time she responds like that, you have more of a giggle internally and relax, like if you switched your response a bit?

Mike: Yeah, I could do that.

Carol: Because it’s a bit different now. The kids are all grown up.

Mike: They don’t get in till four or five o’clock in the morning regularly.

Carol: That’s up to them. There’s nothing to do.

Mike: 18 and 20, so… I did pick up my daughter, took her out of the pub over my shoulder, stuck her in the car and drove her home about five months ago, but that was just because she was being irresponsible.

Carol: Which is growing up!

Mike: She was 20 then.

Carol: Still young! I was reading something recently about structures in the brain, about making decision like that and apparently, it’s not till 23 or something that they finally form that’s partly why car insurance goes up. It’s sort of pure decision making because the structure’s not there in the brain.

Mike: I just noticed tears, but they’re not… Can you see them?

Carol: A little bit.

Mike: I think they’re laughter tears.

Carol: Yeah, or maybe the tears I was talking about – the sticky tears.

Mike: There are definitely a couple of tears which came when I was laughing about sticking her over my shoulder.

Carol: Very good, thank you! Do you find it interesting?

Mike: Yeah, fascinating!

Carol: It’s fast. Mike: Yeah, very fast.

Carol: And because we’re making a tissue change it’s permanent, then…

Mike: The tissue change is the retraction, isn’t it?

Carol: Yeah. We’ve gone from an amygdala neuron with AMPA receptors held in place so that every time you come across the sensory data… Maybe that’s what was going on with the dogs—a similar kind of structure.

Mike: If it’s someone you have responsibility for and who is pretty powerless really and not being able to control it, it’s the same thing when the dog disappears and the kids disappear.

Carol: And also, just out of sight. If something happens and it’s a sunny day, then every time it’s a sunny day, the AMPA receptors would be going, “Woop, woop,” releasing adrenaline and cortisol and dopamine into your system. So then, we have these responses. The response might be to feel stuck or it might be to feel a bit fighty. That might come up as a bit of anger and frustration.

Mike: In the original incident—the cortisol would’ve been really high then, wouldn’t it?

Carol: Yeah, and then, that continues, or it might be even… Something can happen and you’ve just had a cake so, every time you have that same taste again or same scent again, the alarm system set off and then, it generalizes, of course, because we then basically go, a certain amount of that data— that complex content, the context as well, so you’ve got four elements again. You’re feeling a bit grumpy. You’re getting grumpy with somebody and then, they get grumpy back—building on it.

When you do something like this depotentiation process, what you’re asking is a tissue change. What also can happen is it moves all sorts of different things, so our patterns can change in quite unusual ways.

I was working with somebody once who’s been angry, wanted to actually murder somebody and had been sent to me by a judge and so, we worked on that just as we have done and afterwards, he said, “Oh, there’s a bee! It looks like cat. It looks like a ginger cat,” and I was really interested in that and I was very interested in that. He said, “I’ve been phobic of bees all my life,” since he was a baby, terrified of bees. Somehow by deep tempting the AMPA receptors off the anger by this particular person at that time, it also…

Mike: It generalized over to something else.

Carol: Maybe what had happened was… Let’s say it was a person with red hair in his early childhood. The two of them had been involved and then, he got stung by a bee and then, later on in life, he met somebody who looked a bit like him, took an instant dislike for no reason—or rather, an AMPA receptor-driven reason and then, that relationship broke down until it became a “click, click”. He wrote back to me and apologized actually. He said he didn’t expect it to work and he’s actually been for an appointment again and he’s just a guy.

Mike: That’s great!

Carol: That’s really great. I just think if we could teach everybody in school everybody knew how to do this.

Mike: Yeah, there’s anger.

Carol: Yeah, and fear as well. People get afraid. The responses really are being frozen.

In nature, we see it when a snake plays dead, but in everyday life, it can just be having a lump in your throat like earlier on, when I was speaking. I couldn’t quite say what it was. I was stuck. Or fight—we might think of an animal attacking, but when it happens in human society, it can just be being grumpy because “I don’t like that” or “I’m not going to go to school”, be unable to learn because the anxiety is really high and so, you can’t take new learnings in, lack of flexibility and then, we also have flee response – we just want to leave. Ind if we look at it, it’s also procrastination, “I don’t want to do that.” I think there’s another one as well. I call “funky chicken” which is when we kind of play the fool to keep safe. It’s a bit like, we drink too much or we fool around—or even like your daughter getting drunk. Maybe actually going to a pub is quite stressful, that whole social networking thing. It’s easier just to get hammered. That’s one solution to try out and then, we generally find that doesn’t work. For some people, they try again and again.

Mike: Just sort of belittling it and making it funny.

Carol: If I notice myself doing something like that, I’d be like, “Maybe I need a bit of havening about socializing”, and then, I might track back to some minor issue event or something.

Mike: That makes good sense!

Carol: So, if when we’re checking back when you were thinking about the dog, it felt fine, but if not, we might have done a bit of affirmation or hopeful or something and start working from there.

Mike: Just at the end now, I was thinking about… Normally, I go to Cornwall two weeks every Easter and if it’s really, really stormy, I’d like the storm, but I also don’t feel 100% at ease. That would be an interesting one—to see whether…

Carol: That’s why you could check how it feels likes. Close your eyes and imagine yourself… Where about in Cornwall do you go?

Mike: Trevone Bay, just not far from P —, but it’s always wild there.

Carol: The light in Cornwall is amazing as well – something extraordinary about the light. Imagine yourself there and just notice if the feeling in your body is like, “Woohoo, let’s go out there.”

Mike: It’s fine. It’s kind of curious, as we said earlier, rather than… I’m just kind of doing a bit of a body scan and looking for any tightness or fear that might… There isn’t any.

Carol: That’s going to make a difference.

Mike: Yeah, enjoy storm as well.

Carol: Thank you! Thank you very much!

Mike: Thank you! That was good. Thank you!

Event Havening practice scripts.

These are included simply as templates to assist you as you learn and master these protocols within your own scope of practice.

As you begin to explore and use Havening, you will make each protocol your own, building on the basic framework and customizing each session based on your client’s needs and your own unique experience and expertise.

Consider each script simply as a guide, a starting point for understanding the basic structure of each protocol, and use as a foundation to build upon. As you learn the underlying science and the basic Event Havening sequence — activate > calibrate (SUDS) > distract > test — you will develop a greater sense of fluidity and ease with the process.

EVENT HAVENING PRACTICE SCRIPT I

STEPS

Choose facilitator and client.

Facilitator discuss possible distractions with client. “We will be counting; humming a nursery rhyme; going through the alphabet; visiting a place that for you is calm and grounding; and perhaps playing some sport or imagining some physical activity. Are you okay with counting? How about the song — any problem with —-, ——, —-? Are you good with spelling some very simple words — no more than 5 letters each? Do you have a favorite sport you or physical activity you enjoy participating in or watching? And how about a place — what place for you is safe and grounding — without any negative associations at all, for example a beach, or garden, or mountain, or park?

Facilitator discuss, gain permission and calibrate touch — as in Silent Havening exercise, earlier. Client may exercise option to self-haven if they prefer.

Facilitator elicit memory client would like to depotentiate.

Facilitator calibrate the SUDS of the memory (for this exercise/practice, we prefer to work with memories no higher than SUDS 6); invite client to feel what they felt, see what they saw, hear what they heard.

Facilitator check for body sensation and emotions connected with memory. “Where do you feel that in your body?” “What is the predominant emotion connected with this memory?”

Facilitator ask permission to begin Event Havening.

Facilitator begins to apply Havening Touch.

Facilitator instructs client to release focus on the memory and to gently close their eyes.

Facilitator begins distraction round #1: Counting down 20-0; taking 20 steps through calm/grounding place, while paying close attention to sensory details; humming song

Facilitator has client go back to memory and recalibrate SUDS.

Facilitator begins distraction round #2: Counting down 20-0; Sport/physical activity 20 actions (free throws, serves, hiking steps, jumping jacks, jump ropes, etc); imagine words — JOY, CALM, NOW, PEACE — spell — left to right, then right to left; hum song.

Facilitator has client return to memory and recalibrate SUDS.

Facilitator begins distraction round #3: Counting down 20-0; picking 20 flowers in a garden/counting 20 coins into a jar/giving out 20 animal shaped balloons; hum song.

Facilitator has client return to memory and recalibrate SUDS. SUDS should be below 2.

Client feedback/facilitator reflection.

EVENT HAVENING PRACTICE SCRIPT II

STEPS

Facilitator and client discuss potential distractions and choose appropriately (neutral or positive affect with zero negative associations).

Client describes issue/trigger.

Facilitator helps client identify traumatically encoded memory likely responsible for current reaction, keeping EMLI and small-t-trauma in mind, beginning with core 6 intake/history questions

(Once client identifies memory, proceed with Basic Event Havening: Activate, Calibrate, Distract, Test.)

Facilitator elicit memory client would like to depotentiate.

Facilitator calibrate the SUDS of the memory; invite client to feel what they felt, see what they saw, hear what they heard.

Facilitator check for body sensation and emotions connected with memory. “Where do you feel that in your body?” “What is the predominant emotion connected with this memory?”

Facilitator ask permission to begin Event Havening.

Facilitator begins to apply Havening Touch.

Facilitator instructs client to release focus on the memory and to gently close their eyes.

Facilitator begins distraction round #1: Counting down 20-0; taking 20 steps through calm/grounding place, while paying close attention to sensory details; humming song

Facilitator has client go back to memory and recalibrate SUDS.

Facilitator has client return to memory and recalibrate SUDS.

Facilitator begins distraction round #3: Counting down 20-0; picking 20 flowers in a garden/counting 20 coins into a jar/giving out 20 animal shaped balloons; hum song.

Facilitator has client return to memory and recalibrate SUDS. SUDS should be below 2.

Client feedback/facilitator reflection.

EVENT HAVENING PRACTICE SCRIPT III

The distraction sequence in this sample script uses: a) countdown; b) safe place; c) visualizing and spelling a word; d) humming; e) lateral eye movement. This is only one possible variation on the sequence (see the Distractions section in this resource manual for guidelines and many more examples of possible distractions. The content of the distraction is relatively unimportant, as long as it 1) fully engages working memory; and 2) activates a positive or neutral emotional tone.

The script also includes language that explains the basics of Havening Touch® and explicitly requests permission to apply the touch.

“Welcome.

We use three areas of touch with Havening. We gently stroke the face including under the eyes and cheeks (demonstrate on self), the arms (demonstrate on self) , and the hands (demonstrate on self)

We can do this in two ways. You can apply the touch yourself, just like I demonstrated, or I can apply the touch.

The advantage of you applying the touch, what we call self-havening, is that may bring you a greater sense of safety and control.

The advantage of having me facilitate the touch is that you can focus completely on the process without needing to simultaneously focus on activating your motor cortex and applying the touch. As a result, you will most likely get a bit higher level of neurochemical activation. And, both methods work. It’s your preference.

(If the client requests facilitated havening, always ask for permission.)

May I touch you?

Thank you. First we’ll practice a bit, just so that you can be comfortable with the process.

I’m going to touch your palms now. How does that feel? I’m going to touch your arms now. How does that feel? I’m going to touch your face now. How does that feel?

Do you have a favorite of the three areas? Are there any of these three areas you would rather me not touch?

Thank you. Let’s begin. Please focus on the memory. Recall this event as though it were happening right now.

What are you seeing? What are you hearing? Feeling? Smelling? What else are you noticing?

Rate your discomfort on a scale of zero to ten, with ten being the highest possible.

Thank you.

Now clear your mind. I’m going to begin the touch.

(Begin facilitating Havening Touch.)

Please take a deep breath in and as you exhale, gently close your eyes.

Thank you. Now we will count down together from 20 to 1, each count bringing you more and more of a sense of safety, relaxation and calm.

Let’s begin.

20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Good.

Now please imagine you’re in that safe calm place we identified earlier. And where is that place?

[Response]

Wonderful. Imagine you are there right now, and begin walking. As you take each step forward, please count out loud from 1 to 10; with each step, please describe something you see, hear, notice.

Wonderful. Thank you. Now I’d like for you to imagine the word RELAX written in beautiful letters before you.

Please spell that word out loud.

Thank you. Now would you spell it from right to left — from x all the way back to R?

Thank you. Now let’s hum Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…

Good. Take another deep breath — and exhale. Please open your eyes.

Now track my finger as it moves from side to side.

Great. Close your eyes again, and let’s return to that memory. What would you say is the intensity of it now? We began at a 9.

——-

OR …

Great. So let’s go back and check into that image. What’s it like now? Bigger, smaller, same? Closer, farther away? Anything different about it now?

OR —

SO let’s check in to that feeling in your belly. We started at a 9 intensity. What’s it like now? More, less, same?

EVENT HAVENING COLOR OF HEALING PRACTICE SCRIPT (USING COLOR TO AID IN THE DEPOTENTIATION PROCESS)

STEPS

Facilitator discuss, gain permission and calibrate touch. Client may exercise option to self- haven if they prefer.

Client focuses on an issue/problem they would like to resolve.

Facilitator calibrates the client’s current SUDS level.

Facilitator: ‘I would like for you to imagine that the problem/issue you would like to clear/resolve could be represented by a color. If this problem was a color, what color might it be?’

Allow client to reflect on and determine the color that best represents their issue. Evoke details and nuances and textural data — Does the color have a texture? A smell? A feeling? Where do you experience it in your body?

Now have the client take a breath and clear his/her mind.

Facilitator now asks client: ‘Please think of a color that would represent healing and resolution of this issue to you. It can be any color — sky blue, forest green, sunflower yellow, rose, violet, any color at all — as long as thinking of this color evokes a sense of healing and resolution within you. Once you’ve decided on a color, please nod your head to let me know.’

Once client confirms they have chosen a color, facilitator continues: “Thank you. In just a moment, we will begin Havening touch, and I invite you to simply focus on breathing in your healing color, and exhaling the color associated with your issue/problem. You might imagine breathing the healing color in with each breath, as though the atmosphere around you is filled, permeated with this color. You might imagine you are underneath a beautiful waterfall of liquid light comprised of this color, as the color gently pours over, around, and through you. You might silently chant the name of your color with each breath. Or you may have another way of imagining that feels more natural for you. The basic principle is that with each breath, you take in more and more of your healing

50 color, and release more and more of the color associated with your problem. Are you ready to begin?”

Facilitator ask permission to begin Havening Touch.

Facilitator begins to apply Havening Touch.

Facilitator instructs client to gently close their eyes and begin focusing on taking in their healing color with each inhale, and releasing their problem color with each exhale. Continue this process for 5-7 minutes, with facilitator offering occasional, gentle reminders to client: ‘that’s good….focusing on your color…bringing it in with each breath…letting go, releasing the problem, taking in your healing color. Its best not to try too hard or attempt to force the process; simply take in the one color as you breathe in, and release the other as you breathe out.’

Pause. Check client’s SUDS level. If it has lowered somewhat, but not yet to 0, continue another round of inhaling the color of healing and exhaling the problem.

After this next round, bring the touch to a gentle pause, and invite your client to open her/his eyes.

Client feedback/facilitator reflection.

EVENT HAVENING BASICS— ACTIVATION, MEASUREMENT, DISTRACTION, TESTING, VARIATIONS, TROUBLESHOOTING

The Activation Phase in Havening: How to Help Your Clients (Re)Activate AMPA Receptors

“Event Havening has four elements. First is the retrieval of the event by imaginal recall. This releases glutamate, reactivates the phosphorylated AMPA receptors that have been encoded at the time of the event and depolarizes the neuronal membrane on the lateral nucleus of the amygdala. In addition, this reactivation exposes the phosphate molecule that anchors the AMPA receptor to the surface of the post-synaptic neuron in the lateral amygdala.” - Dr . Ronald Ruden , in Havening: A Primer.

Clients display different abilities and propensities in how readily they can access a specific traumatically encoded memory, so it’s important to be able to assist them in activating the associated neural circuits.

Ideally, of course, the practitioner would simply ask the client, once they ‘land’ on the specific memory, to fully access that memory multisensorially, wherein the client notices what they saw, heard, felt, smelled, experienced at the time.

If the client can do this, wonderful. On the other hand, the circuit can also be sufficiently activated by having the client focus on:

1. The specific sensation they experience in their body. What do they feel? Where do they feel it in their body? —or,

2. An image representing their inwardly felt response. I might ask the client, “if you could take all of these feelings out of your body and put them over in the corner, how might they appear?” Some might experience this as a pile of garbage, or dirty laundry, or manure, or a stack of rocks. “What’s it look like for you?” I have experienced clients describing all of the above, plus ‘a stack of papers’, ‘a black pulsating orb’, ‘a pile of mud’, ‘a pot full of crap’.

Work with the image. In most cases, after a round or two of Event Havening, the image will change, indicating either a lessening of intensity, or a revealing of a specific memory or memory network that has not previously been available to conscious awareness, which can then be depotentiated with Event or Transpirational Havening.

3. A metaphorical representation of the issue. During one of my Havening demonstration sessions, the client experienced her issue as a ‘wall’ directly in front of her, covering the heart area. I elicited more information about this ‘wall’—size, shape, color, thickness, etc, and then followed the Event Havening protocol.

After three rounds, the wall dissolved, and the client became aware of a specific memory that had been responsible for creating the ‘wall’ in the first place. We applied the Event Havening protocol to the memory, and the client experienced a positive shift in mood, a sense of expanded possibility.

4. Representation of the issue in another sensory modality. A colleague once described her work with an autistic client, who experienced discordant feelings as sounds. When her client activated a traumatically encoded memory, he described his feeling sense of it as screechingly loud heavy metal music that once resolved, transformed into soothing sustained piano chords.

5. Color. Malika Stephenson, Veterans Coordinator for Havening Research, has developed a unique protocol using color in both the activation and depotentiation process. Contact her at www.positivechangework.com to learn more.

The point here is that different people access memory and activate the corresponding circuitry in different ways. As you gain experience and expertise, your repertoire of ways to help your client activate memories will expand.

MEASUREMENT (determining the subjective intensity of activated experience)

The simplest way to calibrate, or measure, the client’s perceived level of distress once you activate the target traumatically encoded memory is to ask for a SUDS — a numerical rating from 0 — no distress at all — to 10 — highest possible level of distress.

If, for whatever reasons, client cannot or will not calibrate a SUDS, explore various means of measuring intensity.

For example, ask the client ‘if you could take this distress out of your body and put it in across the room, what would it look like?” Once they respond, inquire as to the dimensions of this imagined object — size, color, distance from them, brightness, etc. Then in your testing phase, invite the client to share how/if any of these characteristics have changed.

DISTRACTION Using Distractions Effectively in Event Havening

The number of effective distractions you may use skillfully are limited only by your imagination and your willingness to assist your clients in exploring their own ‘inner library of delights’. Carol Robertson taught me to think of the distraction process as contributing both to the depotentiation of traumatic encoding AND the potentiation of positive emotions and states of being. The implication here is that we can help our clients boost their access to positive, pleasant memories and emotional states at the same time that we help them heal the emotional residue of trauma.

Here are a few simple guidelines for the distraction phase:

The Purpose of The Distraction/Displacement Phase is to fully Engage Attention while depotentiation is occurring. Secondary purposes include assisting client in accessing positive resource states while amplifying positive affect.

(Note: “Evoke Insight” — as occurring in Open Frame Visualization, Shamanic Journeying, Guided Imagination, etc — is NOT included in core purpose of Distraction Phase in Event Havening)

You want to help the client fill their working memory with emotionally neutral or positive experiences. One way to increase the likelihood that this will be the case is to interview your client. Before you begin Havening, ask:

“One of the steps in this process involves me having you use your imagination for various simple tasks. These tasks need to be emotionally neutral or positive, so I would like to ask you a few questions.”

What’s one of your favorite places to go — a place that naturally evokes a sense of safety and relaxation for you? It could be a beach, a park, your back yard, a meadow, a mountain, your living room. It simply needs to be a place that is either neutral or positive - not a place that triggers any discomfort of any kind.

One of the things we usually do in this process is to hum a tune. Are you good with that? Great. Again, we’re looking only for tunes that evoke a neutral or positive response. How about ‘Take Me Out To The Ball Game?’ ‘Twinkle, Twinkle?’

Do you like any sports? Which ones?

How about math? I might ask you to count down by 2’s or 3’s. You okay with that? Great.

We’ll also probably, at some point, just have a conversation about some oyour favorite things, things you like to do, pleasant memories, people you care about, places, music, whatever. And if anything we explore along the journey doesn’t feel good, you just let me know, and we’ll shift gears.”

OBSERVE AND ASSESS SAFETY AND NEUTRAL/POSITIVE EMOTIONAL TONES

In all cases, observe the client’s responses. If you notice a shift — in breathing, skin tone, voice, eye contact — it could be saying, ‘no’ to the potential distraction even if the client says, ‘okay’. So keep your eyes open and your awareness engaged.

Once you understand the scientific foundation of the distraction phase, this aspect of the Havening process can be an ever-new source of delight.

More Guidelines for Effective Distractions

Neutral/Positive in emotional tone

Incorporate motion, imagery, and rhythm whenever possible

Always client-centered

Safe

Lighthearted

Interesting to the client

Cover the basics:

 Counting, Visual/kinesthetic, auditory

 (Optional) Lateral eye movement

 Multisensory engagement + a sense of movement through space

 Humming/Singing on a syllable (‘ho’, ‘ha’ ‘hee’)

Stick to a basic formula until confident, for example:

 ‘Count down from 20-1, allowing each count to help you feel more calm, safe and relaxed’

 20 repetitions of some kind of imagined physical activity (walk on the beach, pick up coins and put them in a jar, shoot basketball free throws, pick flowers in a meadow, play fetch with your dog)

 ßHum a familiar tune

Distractions: More Variations

Counting

ABC’s plus items — Name 5 words beginning with A; 5 with B, etc.

Counting + Alphabet - Count down from 26 to 1; say alphabet going forward— 26 A 25 B 24 C etc.

OR Say alphabet and skip every other letter — A C E G I etc.

OR recite alphabet forward and count each letter A 1 B 2 C 3 etc.

Alphabet games — words beginning with…

Name three foods beginning with A, B, C, etc.

Name three animals beginning with…

Name three (songs, people, plants, flowers, street names, etc) beginning with…

“My favorite things”

Draw your distractions from clients’ favorite:

Hobbies Movies Music TV shows Books Places People Magazines Plants Flowers Foods Cars Animals Songs Performers Fictional Characters

Spelling/Visualization Games

Imagine a word/phrase (ex. the word ‘joy’) written in beautiful colored letters in the sky. Spell it out loud. (J. O. Y. )Now spell it from right to left. (Y. O. J.)

Start with simple 3-5 letter words.

I often use words that relate to a desired state of being.

RELAX JOY CALM PEACE RELEASE AMAZING WONDER FUN

Or colors:

BLUE GREEN PINK YELLOW RED ORANGE etc.

Or simple phrases linked to a positive outcome or something that the client enjoys.

I LIKE PIE I LIKE PUPPIES I LIKE ROSES I LIKE ————-

HaHa Havening — using humor, jokes and laughter as distractions

Memorize a dozen jokes or riddles and use them during the distraction phase.

During the intake, ask client about their favorite joke/s. Tell the joke and have them say the punch line during the distraction phase. 60

Have client sing a song with the syllables ho ho ho or ha ha ha.

Distraction/Displacement Variations

Eye movement —roll one direction/other direction; left/right/up/down; lateral Counting Down — 30 to 0/or by 1’s 2’s, etc. Familiar Safe, Calm Place — Instant Vacation (Count 1-10)

Familiar Safe, Calm Place — Conversational Displacement Familiar Safe, Calm Place — Panoramic Scan Safe, Calm Place Bridging to Spelling In The Sky — Joy, Safe, Heal, Forgive, etc. Staircase (opens to beautiful scene/vista) Favorite Sport — 20 actions/reps Interacting with beloved pet Favorite Things Guided tour through moments of delight Musical Joy Playlist Ocean Waves — Peaceful/Calm, Relax/Release, Here/Now. Safe/Calm, Healing/Rest Counting Objects (coins, rocks, flowers) Counting Games Magical Memories Hum favorite tunes Alphabet Games (name an x [food, object, fruit, city] beginning with A, B, C, etc) Humor/Laughter Yoga/Jokes and Riddles Improvisation Games Various Topics/Themes (albums/recordings, animals, artists, artwork, books, curiosities, fantasy, flowers, food, house, ideas, kitchen, magazines, movies, music, nature, novels, poems, sports, theater, tv shows, etc)

Avoiding Negative Triggers

Make no assumptions about what will or will not be safe or comfortable for the client. Engage them in helping you find distractions that will be fun, light-hearted, and free from negative emotional charge.

Take the time to walk through the possible distractions with your clients. Not only will this help them to feel safe and comfortable with the process, they can also use these when self- havening on their own.

Check any aversions to counting, math, swimming, humming.

With one client, even though I asked basic questions during our intake, as we began Havening, it seemed as though every potential distraction triggered discomfort. She couldn’t find a safe place to walk or be, she didn’t like counting, or any sports, wasn’t comfortable swimming, and it seemed that even a seemingly neutral distraction (three foods beginning with the letter D) activated emotional discord.

We finally found three distractions that would not trigger any negative affect. One was the fragrance of roses, the experience of playing the piano, and the faces of children in her classroom (she is an elementary school teacher). We used variations on these three for the entire Havening session.

TESTING. Always test your work!

Be sure to check back with your client after the distraction phase to determine how the depotentiation process is progressing. In testing, you may: Return to original trigger event, return to trigger context cues, future-pace — imagine encountering trigger sometime in the future, or bring trigger cue imaginally ‘into the room’ to clearly determine current SUDS level.

Event Havening Variations

Belief Change Havening . Identify limiting belief and rate on 0-10 scale. based on how true the belief feels. Begin Havening Touch with distraction as in Event Havening. Continue until belief no longer resonates as true. Alternative: once belief is identified, have client track back in time to the first memory of believing this; Event Haven this experience; then check belief veracity. Often the memory will spontaneously surface simply through the increased associational process facilitated through Havening Touch.

Somatic Awareness Havening . Client identifies physical sensation corresponding to emotion/issue/block. (where do you feel this resistance, anxiety, struggle, conflict, etc in your body). Rate sensation - SUDS—then process as in Event Havening with distraction and Havening Touch.

PhotoStack Havening . Imagine a photo album filled with snapshots representing the experiences/events correlating to a specific limiting belief/painful emotion/negative pattern/habit. Apply Havening Touch and distraction techniques as in Event Havening. Repeat until album image dissolves completely, then use Affirmational Havening to install desired beliefs/emotions/qualities/habits. (This technique is described in detail on the next page.)

An Advanced Variation on Event Havening: the PhotoStack Protocol

I (Harry) developed this technique as a result of combining two distinct and effective approaches to clearing issues derived from the realm of energy psychology, and then incorporating insights from the theory and practice of Havening.

From Lindsay Kenny (developer of Pro EFT™), I took the concept of bundling, which allows multiple aspects and incidents that share a basic emotional or belief theme to be cleared at once. Zivorad Slavinski, developer of Spiritual Technology, clears trauma by isolating the single most traumatic moment and freeze-framing it into a single snapshot, operating from the perspective that each part contains the whole (as in a hologram). Both techniques work. I surmised that a powerful and thorough clearing could occur if I were to have the client imagine a stack or cluster or pile or series of photo albums containing snapshots of every single moment corresponding to a particular theme or issue. Since the right brain processes huge quantities of data through symbol, metaphor and imagery, it seemed logical that a symbol that represented every detail of an issue could be used to clear the issue in a powerful and comprehensive manner. Thus far, this has proven to be true in my experience after using the PhotoStack protocol over 300 times since developing it in the fall of 2012. Proper execution of PhotoStack can completely neutralize the negative emotional charge from all memories associated with a particular issue, eliminating the need for addressing one aspect or incident at a time or having to recount incidents step by step. Here’s the basic protocol: Identify the theme/issue you will be addressing. For example – the belief that life is a struggle; my fear of public speaking; this sense of being ashamed of my body; my experience of toxic guilt and shame connected to my religious upbringing; etc. Imagine a camera that records every single moment of your life and then processes each scene as a snapshot. Imagine one snapshot of every time you experienced ______(this feeling of betrayal OR every time you felt something wasn't 'right' with your husband OR every experience in your life where you felt betrayed by a man OR every time you felt worthless OR — whatever the theme/issue — etc...).

Please put your hands on your heart and close your eyes and imagine — If you could take all these moments — every single snapshot — and put them in a pile or stack, or a group of photo albums, what might that be like — how big would it be?

[Elicit description – size, width, height, dimensions, neatly piled or scattered, one or multiple piles/stacks/albums, etc.] Great - please point to the stack — is it right in front of you? [Client response]

How far away? [Client response] [if it's too close to them - less than 6-8 feet away, I usually have them put it across the room, or in the next room, etc... this helps dissociate the person from feeling the emotional intensity in the stack and lowers the probability of abreactions] So what are some of the emotions in this stack of moments of ______? [Client response] (List the various emotions — ex — shame fear doubt guilt remorse sadness etc...) [I don't generally ask for an intensity /SUDS number because the SIZE of the stack will give clear indication as to what is shifting...however, if you would like to calibrate the emotional intensity, even going as far as to measure the intensity of each emotion, feel free to do this, especially as you are learning the technique. Precise calibration and testing afterward will give you confidence in using the technique and also help you refine your skill in helping your client completely clear the issue.] Now, let's give this pile/stack/album a name. [Client response] (ex. MY 'THEY ALWAYS BETRAY ME' STACK OF MISERY) I also tend to use a protocol derived from Lindsay Kenny’s Pro EFT™ training, which neutralizes subconscious resistance to releasing attachment to the habituated emotional

65 pain associated with these memories. We begin Havening, and then the client repeats after me:

“Even though I have this (NAME STACK), and it's causing me to (present day CONSEQUENCES) there may be a part of me that doesn't want to let this go, for whatever reason, and I choose to love and accept myself anyway.” “Even though it feels like these feelings are never going to change, and there may be a part of me that really doesn't want to let them go, there is another wiser part that would love to release them, and I choose for that part to prevail.” Then use Event Havening to clear the entire memory network associated with the photos.

When the stack is all gone, test by having them check specific memories and determine if there is any remaining change — the vast majority of the memories should feel quite different now. If not, there is probably a bigger issue underneath that is surfacing which you can address next through whatever technique is most appropriate.] This is the basic process. Sometimes there are many different ways the stacks appear — here are some of the variations I've seen with clients:  3 stacks stretching up infinitely into the sky  A huge room piled with photos and papers — spread all over the place  A single stack of postcard-sized photos 4 1/2 feet high and 12 inches square  A stack of photo albums, each from a different time period  A 10-foot tall stack pulsating with radioactive toxic energy. In this case, we placed the stack inside an enclosed building, with special super thick radiation/blocking (but transparent) walls.

Troubleshooting: Event Havening

Challenge: Client can’t identify a specific memory

Possible Solutions:

1—Work with the body sensation/feeling connected with the pattern.

2—Work with the earliest memory the client can recall.

3—Have client access a symbol: “if you could take this feeling out of your body and put it over there on the other side of the room, what would it look like?”

4—Begin transpiring with the current feeling until a specific memory surfaces.

5—Have client focus on their body sensation, then imaginally “float back » on the sensation to the earliest memory.

6—Work with an affirmation: "I wonder what could be causing this symptom; I wonder when this first began?”

7—Use an acceptance statement: “Even though part of me doesn’t know where this came from, I wonder if there’s another part that does, and I choose to honor and accept both parts.”

8—Listen for emotionally charged words as the client describes the symptom; work with these specific words, having the client repeat a single word or phrase while Havening until insight comes.

Challenge: One or more distractions triggers negative stress

1—Preempt this problem through thorough history taking—check for neutral to positive events.

2—While in distraction phase, avoid possible triggers of emotional distress (places, math/counting, memories).

3—Gauge distraction complexity with client capacity. Don’t use tasks that are inordinately complex; remember the goal is to simply engage working memory while maintaining neutral/positive affect.

Also, if you sense they may be worried about getting the mental task “right,” reassure them that they are doing a great job and share with them that the purpose of the task is just to occupy the brain.

You may also want to share that the effects of the delta waves can make it more difficult to recall information (such as three foods beginning with “A”) which would otherwise be easily accessible. In other words, you aren’t judging them based on how well they perform the distraction tasks!

Challenge: Client experiences an abreaction

An abreaction is characterized by an intense emotional response from the client. It could involve crying, shaking or wanting to yell. While we strive to allow Havening to be as gentle a process of depotentiation and positive potentiation as possible, sometimes the process is more intense. That is not necessarily bad, however, as an abreaction often signals a big shift for a client . Once all the emotion that has come up is allowed to clear, the client usually feels better.

1—Move into Transpirational Havening: speak the emotion repeatedly until it shifts.

2—Distract a la EH to help client shift state.

3—Maintain Havening Touch without attempting to have the client talk; simply continue applying the touch until the client is present, grounded and calm.

Challenge: SUDS goes down to 1 or 2 but won’t go to zero

1—Ask the client if they want to go to a 0, or would rather stay at 1 or 2. Do they feel it would serve them to let it go all the way? Why or why not?

2—Check to surface a possible identity conflict or secondary gain. Have client explore the question: who will I be without this? Use the reversal neutralization setup statement: “Even though part of me doesn’t want to completely let this go, there’s another part of me that is willing to release it; and in this moment, I choose to acknowledge and accept both parts”

3—Some aspect of complex content or context still needs to be addressed; ask them to go back to the original memory—what part of the memory is associated with the current SUDS level; EH with that aspect.

4—Interrupt the pattern. Change the subject and talk about something else for a moment; shift from facilitated to self-havening; have a sip of water; shift to affirming a positive quality; integrate more humor into distractions; sing tune on ‘HO’ rather than humming, then return—often this will facilitate the last bit of release.

5—Simple fatigue; client has enough work for the day—needs a break/rest.

6—Pivot to the positive—work with building up a desired positive quality—then go back and check the SUDS—often this will help it shift.

7—Ask ”Is there anything that would get in the way of your releasing this—(issue, problem, pain, etc.)?”

On SUDS Levels and Havening Success

Every client will not reach a O SUDS level after Havening. Here are a few reasons:

1—The client’s baseline level of stress is simply too high. They might live at a chronic level of SUDS 4 or 5, so moving to a 1 or 2 indicates real progress.

2—You may not have accurately identified the touchstone (root) traumatically encoded memory.

3—The client may have resistance to letting go of the issue, even if s/he has suffered greatly as a result.

4—The depotentiation process may simply require more time to spontaneously complete.

5—The process of Havening may have simply surfaced another, deeper issue that is now available to address.

6—Other components of the memory may be presenting themselves for depotentiation. (CASE)

A step at a time … it’s a great pace! AE BELL 2017

Where do I go when the SUD seems stuck?

This is an opportunity for detective work.

Perhaps you have not yet given the process enough time — try one more round of distractions.

Perhaps another associated memory has emerged, but the client is embarrassed to share it with you. Remind them that we can clear the emotion of the memory without you knowing any details at all.

Perhaps you’ve reached the baseline distress threshold and the client doesn’t feel safe going below it.

Perhaps there is some kind of secondary gain — the client feels they have something to lose by letting this go.

Perhaps something else is emerging for the client that they don’t feel comfortable sharing.

If you have enough rapport with the client, you can ask them, ‘so we seem to be staying right here at a 6. From your perspective, what might be getting in the way of letting this go?’

If client is at a 2 or 1 SUDS, when should you ask for earlier time client might have felt the same emotion or distress as memory/event we're working on versus just continue with the EH?

If the client doesn’t move below a SUDS 2, you can choose to check to discover if a similar earlier resonant memory exists, or you can simply ask the client directly, ‘What do you suppose is keeping this at a 2’?

You might also interweave a ‘resistance/acceptance/acknowledgement ‘statement in here, for example ‘Even though part of me might have a really good reason for holding on to this discomfort, there is another part of me that really is ready to let it go, and I choose to accept both parts’

TRANSPIRATIONAL HAVENING BASICS AND COMMENTARY

Transpirational Havening Article by Tony Burgess, Head of Trainer Training for Havening Techniques®, Certified Havening Techniques®Trainer,

Until May 2013 I had only been using Event Havening (EH) with my clients, as that is the only form of Havening that I had become aware of up to that time. I was delighted when other forms of Havening were introduced by Dr. Ron Ruden in his first UK training in London in May 2013: Transpirational Havening (TH), Outcome Havening (OH), Role Havening (RH), Affirmational Havening (AH) and Hope Havening (HH). With this new awareness, the range of practical applications of Havening expanded hugely for me and my clients. Transpirational Havening (TH) acquired its name due to the metaphorical similarity of function to the transpiration process in trees. In simple terms, transpiration is the process by which water moves through a tree (or other plant), right from when it is drawn up through the roots, travels through the tissue (xylem) of the tree’s trunk and branches until it reaches the leaves, where water vapour diffuses into the atmosphere through pores called stomata. Similarly, Transpirational Havening has the effect of drawing up unhelpful emotions and experiences and concepts from wherever they may have their ‘roots’ in the brain and once brought to the surface those feelings are released (the stoma in this case being the outlet for the spoken word—the person’s mouth). I have found Transpirational Havening to be particularly useful for releasing of pent up emotions when there is no obvious single event that the client can bring to mind. For example, when working with some of my coaching clients, they may disclose that they have experienced stress building up over a period of time and no one particular event has caused it but rather there has been a day-by-day cumulative effect as they have experienced small stressors (little and often) without taking any opportunity to release. Another example would be where therapeutic clients have experienced many disturbing events across their history (e.g., many episodes of being bullied or many episodes of feeling rejected or embarrassed or ‘put down’ by people). Transpirational Havening is also really useful for ‘mopping up’ any remaining associated unhelpful emotions after clearing one or more main traumatic events with Event Havening. I sometimes also liken Transpirational Havening to an imaginary mechanical crane that dips into the brain and plucks out any unhelpful emotion (or similar) and draws it up and out and then moves it away. The crane then returns, goes back inside to pluck out another unhelpful emotion (or more of the same) from wherever it may reside (with pinpoint

73 accuracy) and again draws it up and deposits it safely outside. This continues until all the unhelpful emotions and experiences have been removed.

Yet another way of considering this is that it forms the function of emptying a cauldron of toxic waste, a ladle full at a time. The cauldron may have been bubbling away, boiling against the lid and even spilling over and yet now with every ladle full removed there is more and more fresh space in the cauldron (space that can later be filled with much better ingredients that will nourish the soul). So what is the actual procedure for Transpirational Havening?

● Establish what emotion or emotions the client wants to release and at what level they would rate that currently (on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being highest). For example, a client might report that they have been feeling stressed and that they are feeling stressed at a level of 8 when they think of their job at work. Ask the client to start saying repeatedly emotional words that would appropriately complete a sentence ‘I’ve been feeling ... ‘ or ‘I’ve been experiencing ...’. The client doesn’t need to say the first part, just the words that complete the sentence. An example for a client that has been feeling stressed might be that they start to say out loud ‘stressed ... stressed out ... stressed ... so stressed ... really stressed ... stressed ... stressed ....’ etc. At the same time as they are saying the words repeatedly, you as practitioner apply ‘Havening Touch’. If they prefer, the client could of course apply ‘Self-Havening’. If other words of emotions or experiences come to mind that could also be useful to release, the client should be encouraged to voice them too. So, for example, the client who had been experiencing feeling stressed might voice: “stressed ...stressed out ... annoyed …annoyed ...annoyed ...stressed out ...annoyed ...frustrated ...overwhelmed …etc.

● The idea here is to encourage the client to continue to repeat the words until they feel like the feelings have been released, until the words feel forced rather than bubbling up to the surface, until they seem to have lost their power. Sometimes in fact the person literally cannot ‘find’ any more unhelpful emotions to say – they literally cannot find the words (or the feelings). A long pause is often a good sign that the client has emptied at least a ‘pocket’ of a particular emotion. Sometimes though another pocket is located and another intense burst of repeated emotion words are voiced. Just keep going for as long as is useful and time allows. Sometimes a client may feel that they are bringing the feelings to the surface and yet not quite releasing them. This is where encouraging a visualisation as they say the words can help ease the release. An obvious example would be to imagine themselves to be a bit like a tree, drawing up through the roots, and then drawing up further and releasing at the leaves. The clients usually come up with the best metaphors / visualisations for 74 themselves. Real examples I have noted have been imagining a bottle of talcum powder ‘puffing’ away the emotions, or revving an accelerator on a motorbike and the emotions going out of the exhaust pipe, or letting go of balloons with emotions attached. It really is ‘whatever works’ here.

● If ever there is an emotion that is not clearing fully (e.g.: getting ‘stuck’ at a level of ‘4’), it may mean that there’s a need to switch to ‘Event Havening’ or ‘Outcome Havening’ or to do some other therapeutic work of some sort, after which the emotion will often be ‘loosened’ and more easily released. Just remain flexible and do what is best for your client.

● As with all Havening Techniques (and other therapeutic methods), you really need to be an experienced certified practitioner to be skillfully using the range of techniques elegantly blended to meet the needs of your client. You also need to be prepared and experienced enough to deal with any abreactions that may arise because when someone is releasing a lot of emotion the journey may sometimes involve such responses as crying, shaking, shouting, or other responses that would naturally go with the emotion being released. It is also true to say that many, many clients have a mainly pleasant experience of the releasing of the emotions during Transpirational Havening.

● Once the words have been expressed enough for the level of the unhelpful feelings to have come down the scale to level that is right for the client (usually 0, 1, or 2) then encourage them to go straight into Affirmational Havening (AH), Hope Havening (HH) or ‘Iffirmational Havening’ to fill the created gap with positive concepts and emotions and experiences. Often this happens without even a need for instruction. Clients may find themselves running out of negative emotions to release and may automatically start to say positive emotions aligned with what they are now feeling or experiencing inside: ‘emancipated’, ‘free’, ‘released’, ‘calm’, ‘peace’, ‘quiet’, ‘still’, ‘liberated’ and similar. Encourage it if it happens naturally or invite it if it doesn’t. This is a very powerful way to wrap up a session of Transpirational Havening.

● There can sometimes be a slight delay in the client experiencing the full benefits of Transpirational Havening (because bringing up the emotions to release them can sometimes be a bit exhausting). Clients often contact me the next day and over the coming days and weeks to say that they feel ‘lighter’, that they are walking with more of a ‘spring’ in their step, that they have stated singing or whistling or humming again, that they feel like a weight has been lifted or they have left some heavy luggage behind. I remember when I first experienced the blend of Transpirational and Affirmational Havening for myself, the next day I simply could not stop myself feeling elated (not that I wanted to).

Of course, life can bring new stressors into people’s lives and so encourage your clients to use Transpirational Havening regularly to prevent ‘toxic waste’ mounting up again in the ‘cauldron’ (they can just keep ladling it out at the first signs of it–even the really small stuff–and then pour in good stuff to take its place).

I’d like to wrap up by saying a big ‘THANK YOU’ to Doctors Ron and Steven Ruden for bringing Havening Techniques to the world! Tony Burgess www.aha-success.com www.ditchyourtrauma.co.uk 00447989 469 570 [email protected]

Transpirational Havening: Commentary, Case Stories, Sample Scripts

In the basic process of Transpirational Havening, the client simply repeats the word describing a single currently experienced emotion until a felt shift occurs; then they speak the word describing whatever subsequent emotion is emerging until a felt shift occurs. This process continues until the client experiences a sense of inner resolution (resolution may be indicated with words like calm, peaceful, relieved, relaxed, and/or clear).

Instruct client to speak the adjective form of the emotion, as though they were completing the sentence, ‘I am ______’ or ‘I feel______’. This means they say, ‘angry,’ not ‘anger’; ‘sad,’ not ‘sadness’.

This helps to activate the appropriate memory networks. If the client uses the nominal (noun) version (anger, sadness, fear—vs. angry, sad, afraid), experience indicates that this greater degree of dissociation from the felt experience of the emotion can lessen or impede the process of depotentiating the memory network.

The following are two reconstructions of actual Transpirational Havening experiences with clients.

CLIENT A

Client A has just cleared a memory network connected to a painful and turbulent marriage. There is no emotional ‘charge’ (SUDS 0) when she thinks back on the specific memories, however, it’s clear to me (based on my present moment observation of her facial expression, voice tone, and breath rate) that she is not yet in a place of equanimity, implying full resolution of the issue. When asked about this, she mentions that she is feeling some regret. When asked to rate the intensity of the feeling of regret on a 0-10 scale, she responds with a 3. We begin Transpirational Havening. As I continue to facilitate Havening Touch, I instruct her simply to speak whatever emotion is moving through her moment to moment.

Regret...regret…regret…sad…sad…sad…confused…angry…sad…sad…ashamed…ashamed …sad…sad…accepting…calm…sad ...free…calm…calm…empty…

We pause the Havening Touch. “What are you noticing now?” “I just feel quiet and still inside.”

Check in to the regret. What do you notice? It’s gone. Zero? Yes. And the sadness? Zero.

Now let’s go back to your ex. When you think about him, and your marriage and everything that’s occurred, what do you feel?

It’s just like I’m watching a movie. I don’t feel any of what I felt before. It’s just something that happened.

The client subsequently reported no remaining reactivity when thinking about her ex.

CLIENT B

Client B had crossed a threshold of stress as a result of a combination of external and internal pressures and came to see me in a state of significant distress. After a bit of history taking, it became clear that much of this distress seemed to stem from a disagreement with a relative.

She imagined the relative sitting before her and immediately experienced a wave of intense negative emotion. We began Transpirational Havening, which continued for several minutes. She cycled through a wide variety of emotions—sad, angry, confused, frustrated, regret, lost, hopeless, helpless, sad.

Because the client seemed to get ‘stuck’ in a loop of these intense emotions, after about 15 minutes I had her pause, take a breath, and check into what she was experiencing. She reported a specific incident/scenario that was particularly troubling for her. At this point we began Event Havening, bringing her into a number of distractions that evoked a positive emotional tone—walking in a favorite place in nature, singing favorite songs, preparing a favorite meal.

After 3 rounds of EH, she reported a 0 SUDS when thinking about the specific memory that had surfaced. When I had her go back and envision the relative, she immediately became very sad once again. I inquired into what triggered the sadness and she mentioned regret about her past behavior with this relative. We then begin TH once again focusing on the word ‘regret’.

Once again, she released a variety of emotions—regret, sad, helpless, angry (at self), grief, eventually finding herself in a neutral place. Once again, I had her imagine the relative there in front of her, and once again, more sadness emerged.

Inquiring into the source of this emotion, she once again mentioned a specific memory that had come into her awareness. I asked her to stay with the feeling that had surfaced and asked if she ever had that feeling before. She said ‘oh yes—it’s just how I felt when my ex-husband did —————- (a specific abusive action that her ex repeated over a period of several years).

Next, I had her imagine a photo album containing a snapshot of every time this happened. The album (in her imagination) was about 3 feet tall. (This protocol is described in the Event Havening section of this handbook) We continued with EH, clearing the emotion linked to these memories in three rounds, the clearing symbolized by the complete disappearance of the photo album.

I once again had her imagine the relative in front of her, speaking in the tone of voice and doing the behaviors that previously caused such distress. This time the response was neutral.

We continued with IH and AH to help her access and activate positive emotions and states—calm, clarity, joy, peace. This case represents the skillful integration of TH into the larger context of a given session. As you gain experience and expertise with EH and TH, you will often find that your most effective and efficient results come from integrating both tools.

Emotional waves rising and falling organically during Transpirational Havening process

Sometimes with Transpirational Havening, the emotions will emerge in alternating waves of greater followed by lesser intensity. The client’s experience of anger, sadness, fear and/or related emotions may intensify for a while, then begin to shift to a calmer state, only to begin to build again. This is indicative of new memory networks being accessed to be transpired or released. Often the client will become aware of a specific memory that had been previously unavailable to conscious recall, that is now surfacing through the associative process that is activated by Transpirational Havening.

When facilitating this process, the practitioners’ sensory acuity is extremely important. As you notice shifts in client physiology—in their breathing, facial expression, skin tone,

79 muscular tension, voice tone, etc.—you might check in with them—‘I’m noticing a shift— what’s happening for you in this moment? Is there another memory you’re aware of now?’

Depending on their response, this could be an opportunity to shift to the distraction phase of Event Havening to clear the seed event that has now emerged into conscious awareness.

Use your experience, expertise and intuitive discernment to determine how best to move forward. As you gain experience and skill incorporating Havening Techniques into your existing therapeutic modalities, you will more and more skillfully discern how to alternate TH and EH so that the client fully depotentiates the memory and associated memory networks with minimal abreaction and maximum ease.

Here are some of the emotions that can emerge during Transpirational Havening.

afraid angry sad confused frustrated embarrassed humiliated lonely jealous worried ashamed outraged guilty betrayed irritated anxious

Emotional descriptions that are indicative of resolution include:

 relieved  calm  peaceful  clear  empty

Transpirational Havening Variations

Choose a specific person, word, object or other stimulus that is emotionally charged for the client and involves multiple traumatically encoded memories.

The practitioner repeats the word or phrase representing this stimulus. After each repetition, the client articulates whatever feelings emerge.

Example:

(the client wants to ‘clean’ her emotional response to an abusive ex named Fred)

Practitioner: Fred. Client: Angry P: Fred Client: Angry P; Fred Client: Really angry P: Fred C: Sad P: Fred C: (crying) Sad. P: Fred C: Confused P: Fred C: Angry P: Fred

Continue until client reports no more disturbing, discordant emotions and responds to the word with emotional neutrality.

Caveat: This form of Transpirational Havening can take a relatively long time to completely resolve and depotentiate the related memory networks, and may leave the client a bit drained. It is best used AFTER Event Havening has lowered the SUDS around the trigger stimulus to 5 or below.

ROLE, IFFIRMATIONAL, AFFIRMATIONAL HAVENING

“Role Havening” Article by Tony Burgess, Head of Trainer Training for Havening Techniques®, Certified Havening Techniques®Trainer,

Many of you may already be working with ‘roles’ in your day-to-day therapeutic work and change-facilitation. This (like so many approaches) can be nicely combined with Havening touch. The Delta wave activity and associated brain chemistry that is generated with Havening touch provides a reassuring electrochemical environment for making positive changes and integrating new meanings (as well as depotentiating AMPA receptors involved in traumatic encoding).

This article is simply bringing together a non-exhaustive list of suggestions of ways you might do role havening.

 Therapist / Facilitator playing a role to deliver a solution:

Here an example would be where Dr. Ron Ruden courageously stepped into playing the role of Christ when his client said that forgiveness from Jesus would be the only way of him letting go and moving on. Ron delivered the ‘forgiveness’ message in the role of Jesus and the client became freed.

 Therapist / Facilitator playing role of a perpetrator or key player in the traumatic event(s):

Obviously, proceed with caution because as the therapist a key role is for you to provide unconditional positive regard and be part of the safe environment for therapeutic work to take place. Playing a perpetrator in a traumatic event has some potential dangers (such as blurring of own role in the therapeutic context) if you are not working in a highly skilled way. That said, there can sometimes be good value in playing the role of a person involved in the traumatization.

An example would be where the person was abused by a parent for years and the parent has now passed away and there were things left unsaid and the client is left with unhelpful perspectives on the whole period of time when the abuse took place. As therapist you could ‘play’ the role of the abusive parent. The client could say everything to you (in role) that they wanted to say to that parent. Depending upon what you know of the client’s needs and perspectives, you could then for example reinforce that it was not the client’s fault that they were abused and perhaps explain (speaking as the parent) that the abuse was due to their own lack of coping in life, low self-esteem, lack of empowerment and own upbringing and that they are sorry for what they did.

Or it could be that you expressed that the client has every right to feel angry and ‘I had no right to...’ etc. Knowing your client and their story well is very important to do this appropriately.

Another use of this form of role havening (where playing the role of a perpetrator) could be where you know that particular words and phrases were delivered by the perpetrator to the client regularly. For example, if a parent had often used the phrase ‘You are a total loser – a complete waste of space’, then you could (with agreement from your client) play the role and deliver those lines to get initial ‘activation’ of the parts of the amygdala that encoded the trauma so that Havening can then be used to depotentiate. Also, the client could answer you and from a position of empowerment could ‘put you straight’. It could also be used to test the thoroughness of a piece of Havening work ... is this phrase now no longer a hot button or trigger? If it is not, then it confirms a useful shift has happened and if it is still a trigger or hot button then it indicates more work to be done.

1. Therapist / Facilitator plays role of a supporter who is no longer available: It may be that your client was always reassured by a particular key person in their life that is no longer available to them due to death or illness or moving away or some other reason.

If you know enough about this person from conversations with your client including words that always made a positive difference, you could as part of your havening work (with permission from your client) step into the role of ‘being’ them during the session and deliver whatever reassuring or wise messages that are required to help the client have a positive shift. Again, caution is required here because your assumptions about what might be useful and how this person may have delivered a message may (or may not) be a mismatch to how the client experienced that person. When it hits the spot, this can be very powerfully helpful.

Variation on Role Havening ... ‘Empty Seat’ work – based on Gestalt approaches

I have a personal preference, for ‘cleanness’ of the role of the therapist, to use a variation on role havening. Instead of stepping into the role myself, I have the client imagine the person is there and facilitate the client to work through whatever they need to work through with the imagined person in the empty chair (or on a screen, or wherever the client prefers). For me this means that I can continue to be the therapist, the client can be the client and the ‘role’ is played out in some empty space. It removes the danger of me making mistakes in my representations of people and also allows me to work ‘content- free’ if appropriate.

With this in mind, consider some of the following possibilities whilst applying Havening touch:  Client converses or interacts with perpetrator who is in ‘empty chair’ (or wherever else they want to imagine it taking place). From an empowered and resourced position they can put the person right and claim their power back.  Client converses or interacts with their younger self (eg externalize the child within). There can be opportunities to help heal, reassure, empower, give new perspectives to the younger self or even Haven the younger self. It may be that the client interacts with a really empowered younger version of him/herself and by doing so reconnects to some resourcefulness that could serve them in their current period of life.  Client converses with their wisest self in an empty chair (or wherever else). They ask their wisest self for guidance on whatever is most relevant.  Client converses with a role model or even a ‘superhero’ for advice and reassurance and to gain insight into possible solutions. Eg. a business client might imagine conversing with Richard Branson on how to step up his/her effectiveness in leadership.  Client converses / interacts with an imagined future version of him/herself where things have moved on really well (perhaps their best image of how they could be and would like to be). They might ask future self for the reassurances that things are going to work out ok and get some clues as to how to best move forward effectively.  Client imagines taking different ‘perceptual positions’ to work something through or resolve an issue. Those of you familiar with NLP will recognize that Havening could combine really well with this kind of work. The client could imagine floating into the position of different individuals involved in a matter or event of importance to gain better understanding and look through different ‘lenses’ at a situation. They can also imagine stepping into the position of ‘neutral observer’ to get another perspective. A variation could be that they float into the position of someone who sees more value and potential in them than s/he has yet seen in him/herself (or for example could take a look at self as an all-loving ‘God’ sees them).  Client converses / interacts with a ‘part’ of them that is responsible for a current unhelpful response showing up. Again, many of you are familiar with NLP ‘part work’ and this will combine really well with Havening. Eg for a client who is experiencing a sense of ‘stuckness’ and is procrastinating about things they sense could be of value to them ... they could speak with the part of them that is responsible for generating this response and ask what positive intention they have

by keeping this pattern alive. They can then explore what will need to happen in order for the old pattern to be ditched and replaced by a new pattern of responses that is much more aligned with their current wants, needs and desired outcomes. Harnessing the power of the part that has been ‘getting in the way’ (albeit with positive intention) and channeling it in a new more helpful direction can create amazing positive change.

 Client converses / interacts with a loved one who has passed away in circumstances where there were unresolved issues, guilt about what happened, lack of opportunity to say goodbye or other ‘unfinished business’.

As I say, this is a far from exhaustive list of possibilities for role havening. I hope it serves to stimulate ideas as to how you and your clients can work together to get great results.

As always, I’d like to wrap up by saying a big ‘THANK YOU’ to Doctors Ron and Steven Ruden for bringing Havening Techniques to the world! Official website for Havening is:

www.havening.org Tony Burgess www.aha-success.com www.ditchyourtrauma.co.uk www.learn-havening.co.uk 00447989 469 570 [email protected]

Phrasing Iffirmations/Affirmations as Questions— Interrogatives

Interrogative affirmations. Research indicates that in certain cases affirmations phrased as questions can be equally or more effective than those phrased as statements. For example,

Am I ready to……?

Will I……?

How can I……?

Who will I become when I…….?

The interrogative affirmations (in the research referred to as ‘interrogative self-talk) can also be used to help the client lessen and release their resistance to letting go of an old pattern, way of being, or identity. It can also help the client identify secondary gains that might be reinforcing the undesired pattern of thought, feeling or behavior.

Examples:

Am I ready to let this go?

What will it take for me to finally let this go?

I wonder who I’ll be when I let this go?

What if I choose to keep this?

Do I want to keep this?

Or will I let this go?

Can I let this go?

Am I ready to let this go once and for all?

What if it doesn’t come back?

I wonder what will happen then?

Sometimes the interrogative affirmations will trigger a memory or block that can then be addressed and the related traumatic encoding cleared. At other times, they will simply and gently guide the client in the direction of the state or quality of goal they are desiring to achieve.

Bridging Between Iffirmations and Affirmations

To address the likely resistance to change and to building a new concept of self, beginning with gentle suggestions (like the ‘Iffirmations’ described elsewhere in this manual) can allow the client to incorporate the new beliefs more readily.

For example, (Iffirmations) ‘I wonder what it would be like to… I wonder what’s I’d feel like if I… What if I… What if I begin to… I’m ready to experience more… What if I choose…

(Now bridging to Affirmations)

I choose… I am…

Bridging between iffirmations, interrogative affirmations, and statement affirmations can also be a powerful way to support your client in moving towards their stated goal.

For example, suppose the client’s goal is to become more confident. You might use a sequence like this:

(each statement spoken first by the practitioner, then repeated out loud by the client)

I wonder what it would be like to be more confident? I wonder how I’d feel if I were more confident — right now? Who would I be? What would I notice? I wonder what confidence feels like? 88

I wonder who I’ll become when I feel more confident than I’ve ever felt before? What if I were already confident? How would I feel? What would I do? How would I show up? I wonder what it would feel like to live a more confident life? Who will I become when confidence is just a natural part of who I am? I’d love to find out. More and more, I’m ready to find out. I want more confidence. I choose confidence. I am confident. I imagine myself as already confident. What do I see? What do I feel? What do I hear? What do I notice?

Practitioner: You, Jane, are becoming more and more confident each day.

J: I am. I am becoming more and more confident each day.

P: You are feeling more and more confident, starting now.

J: I am feeling more and more confident, starting now.

P: You are confident.

J; I am confident.

P: You are confident. You know what you want, and you go for it.

J: I am confident, I know what I want, and I go for it.

P. You are confident.

J: I am confident.

P: Repeat, please.

J. I am confident

P: Yes, you are.

(etc.)

Another example:

Using EH and RH, client has cleared memories from her past that led to her developing a belief that she isn’t worthy of love.

Client: “I love myself,” now feels true at a 7/10. (Using the Subject Units of Veracity scale)

Facilitator: Great. Are you willing to see if you can love yourself even more?

Client: Yes!

Facilitator: Fabulous. Repeat after me: What if I could love myself even more? What if I could love myself at an 8, 9 or even a 10? What would that feel like? How would I show up differently? What if it were OK to love myself fully and completely, just as I am? I wonder how good it would feel to love me, without conditions? Who will I become when I love myself more and more? What if I already loved myself fully? How would I feel? What would I do? How would I treat myself? How would I treat others? Who will I be when I allow myself to love me fully, just as I am? I’m ready to experience more self-love. (Client’s voice gets stronger on this phrase, so we repeat it 3x.) I choose to experience more self-love. More and more, I am choosing to love me just as I am. That is my choice now, and I choose to choose To love me fully and completely just as I am.

Client, testing the belief out loud: “I love myself.” It feels really strong now. A 9, maybe even a 9.5! This feels amazing, wow. There’s a tiny bit of doubt left, that I could love myself no matter what, but it’s really small.

Facilitator: Would you like to release it?

Client: I’m not sure. I’m worried I will love myself too much and become arrogant.

Facilitator: I hear you. Let’s just try something, are you OK with that? Client: Sure.

Facilitator: Repeat after me: I’m worried if I go to a 10 I will love myself too much I might become arrogant. What would it be like if I didn’t have to worry about that? What if I could trust myself to be humble AND to love myself completely? What if I could have both? Humility and full self-love. What would that be like? How would I show up? Loving myself completely and also humble. More and more, I’m ready to find out. I choose to be humble. I choose to love myself unconditionally. I choose to trust who I am. I’m ready.

Client: Whew. OK, I’m not worried about becoming arrogant anymore. I can trust myself to be both loving and humble.

Facilitator: It’s at a 10?

Client: Yes. Wow. I never thought I could get here. It’s still feels a little weird to be at a 10, like breathing the air high up on a mountain, but I’m OK with it. I love myself.

BUILDING RESILIENCE

AND POSITIVE WELL-BEING WITH HAVENING

Havening for Positivity and Resilience

In addition to depotentiating traumatically encoded memories and memory networks, as in Event and Transpirational Havening, the electroceutical intervention of Havening Touch can also serve to build real-time resilience as well as amplify and enhance positive emotions. The protocols and Havening Variations covered in this section allow you to explore how Havening can help your clients move from simply resolving their presenting issue to consciously creating their best lives.

How can the Havening process work BOTH to depotentiate traumatically encoded memories AND to ‘install’ and amplify positive beliefs and emotions?

Reconsolidation - A process by which the neural circuit corresponding to existing memories can be erased and new networks created, as in what occurs with Role and Outcome Havening and any other system (e.g. Matrix Reimprinting) involving rescripting a pre-existing memory. Coherence Therapy is based in part on this phenomenon.

Long-term potentiation - The sustainable strengthening of synaptic connection due to a high level of activation of a chemical synapse. The process of LTP is what helps us become better at something the more we do it.

Amplifying Positive Emotional States

Because of the increased Delta Wave production facilitated by Havening Touch, it is possible to assist the client to amplify and over time, to habituate, positive emotions and states of being.

Beginning with the skillful choice of distractions that help the client access positive memories, images, sensations and states, we can also introduce positive emotion through the original Iffirmational, Affirmational, Outcome and Hopeful Havening Protocols as well as through the Havening Variations described in this manual.

Activating, amplifying and habituating positive emotional states is one of the best ways to build a more resilient neurobiological landscape, which lowers the likelihood of subsequent traumatization, increases capacity to bounce back from adversity, and increases ready access to positive emotions, enhancing overall health and wellbeing.

Here is a list of positive emotional states and a simple set of protocols using Havening (self or facilitated) to amplify and habituate these states.

joy pride peace love

calm kindness ease compassion patience generosity

persistence acceptance determination awareness productivity focus

presence concentration delight amusement

Amplifying Positive Emotional States—Sample Protocol

Step 1. Calibrate your current level of embodied experience of the desired quality on a 0 (not at all) to 10 (optimal) scale.

Step 2. Begin Havening Touch.

Step 3. Count down from 20 to 0, allowing each count to take you into a more calm, relaxed and peaceful state.

Step 4. Use iffimrational Havening to explore the possibility of increasing access to the desired state of being. (“I wonder what it would be like to experience more joy?”. I wonder how I would feel if I were more joyful? ‘Who would I become?” What if I could turn up my inner joy thermostat? I wonder what that would be like? I’d love to find out. etc.)

Steps 5+. As you continue applying Havening Touch, you can choose to

a. REMEMBER times when you experienced this state of being; b. DESCRIBE several of these times out loud; c. CHOOSE a specific memory to savor; d. IMAGINE yourself experiencing this state of being more fully; e. BREATHE slowly and deeply, with each breath imagining that you are breathing more of the quality into your body, brain, and being; f. AFFIRM that you are choosing this quality; and/or g. ENVISION yourself moving into your future expressing more and more of this quality throughout your daily life.

Use any of a-g that you choose, depending on the time you’ve allotted for the process. Steps 1-5 can be completed in as little as 2 minutes, or can be extended into a longer 15- 20 minute session.

Scripts for Cultivating Positive Emotion and Building Resilience

Silent Facilitated Havening Color of Calm Instant Vacation Internal Chant/Mantra Appreciation Activation Musical Evocation

Silent Facilitated Havening

STEPS

Choose facilitator and client.

Facilitator and client sit indirectly facing one another, like ‘ships passing in the night’.

Facilitator introduces him/herself.

Ask and gain permission to touch.

Explain that you will be touching the face, arms and hands.

Demonstrate by applying Havening touch to client’s face. Check for comfort, pressure, pace. Apply Havening touch to client’s arms. Check for comfort, pressure, pace. Apply Havening touch to client’s palms. Check for comfort, pressure, pace.

Once facilitator calibrates touch to client preference, invite client to close their eyes and simply relax and receive the touch.

Begin facilitated silent havening touch.

(Facilitator — pay close attention to the client. Note their pace of breathing, facial expressions, body temperature. Bring your full and complete attention to the client before you. If your mind begins to wander, simply bring your attention back to your client. Some facilitators find it valuable to imagine that they are transmitting an energy of calm presence through their hands. Above all, simply be. Keep the pace moderately slow and the pressure gentle.)

Continue facilitated silent havening for 4 minutes.

Bring the touch to a gentle pause, and invite your client to open her/his eyes.

Client feedback — how was the touch? What was their experience? What did they notice? How do they feel now? Any shift in how they felt 4 minutes ago? Could the facilitator have modified the touch in any way to make it more effective/relaxing/soothing? 2 minutes

Facilitator reflection — what was it like to apply the touch? What did they notice? 1 minute

Switch C/F and repeat the process: Permission, sampling, Silent Havening (4 minutes), feedback/reflection.

Color of Calm

STEPS

Facilitator discuss, gain permission and calibrate touch — as in Silent Havening exercise, earlier. Client may exercise option to self-haven if they prefer.

Facilitator asks client: ‘I’d like you to think of a color that represents calm to you. It can be any color — sky blue, forest green, sunflower yellow, any color at all — as long as thinking of this color evokes a calm, grounded feeling within you. Once you’ve decided on a color, please nod your head to let me know.’

Once client confirms they have chosen a color, facilitator continues.

Thank you. In just a moment, we will begin Havening touch, and I invite you to simply focus on your color. You might imagine breathing the color in with each breath, as though the atmosphere around you is filled, permeated with this color. You might imagine you are underneath a beautiful waterfall of liquid light of this color, as the color gently pours over, around, and into you. You might silently chant the name of your color with each breath. Or you may have another way of imagining that feels more natural for you. Are you ready to begin?”

Facilitator ask permission to begin Havening Touch.

Facilitator begins to apply Havening Touch.

Facilitator instructs client to gently close their eyes and begin focusing on the color they have chosen. Continue this process for 5-7 minutes, with facilitator offering occasional, gentle reminders to client: ‘that’s good….focusing on your color…bringing it in with each breath…filling your awareness…bringing your color into any part of your body or awareness where it’s needed…etc.’

Facilitator pauses, invites client to notice their experience. How do they feel? What (if anything) has shifted in their experience/perception? Were they able to maintain focus on the color, or did their mind tend to drift or wander?

Client feedback/facilitator reflection.

Instant Vacation

STEPS

Facilitator discuss, gain permission and calibrate touch. Client may exercise option to self- haven if they prefer.

Facilitator asks client to identify a place that for them evokes a feeling of calm, centered ease, safety and relaxation. This could be a familiar place in nature or some other setting that the client identifies, or even an imaginary place or a locale depicted in a movie, story or other work of fiction. What matters is that when the client thinks of this place, it naturally evokes feelings of calm, centeredness, ease, safety and relaxation with zero negative emotional associations.

Once the client has identified such a place, facilitator explains:

In a moment, we will begin Havening touch.

As we apply the touch, I’ll invite you to go to your special place in your imagination.

As you imagine being in this place, we will count together slowly from one to ten.

With each count, I invite you to describe, out loud, one thing that you see, hear, smell, feel or notice about that place. Be as detailed as you can. For example, if we were going to the beach, you might describe the sound of the waves, then the feeling of the sand between your toes, then the puffy white clouds in the sky, and so forth. Do you understand?

So before we begin, simply notice how you feel. Notice any tense spots in your body; notice your emotional state.

Any questions?

Facilitator asks permission to begin.

Facilitator begins to apply Havening Touch.

Facilitator: Now please go to your special place….and what is that place? Where are you?

Client responds.

Facilitator: Good. Now we will begin counting, and with each count, simply describe one thing you see, hear, smell, feel or notice. Are you ready? 99

1… (pause for description) 2… (pause for description) 3… (pause for description) 4… (pause for description) 5…(pause for description) 6… (pause for description) 7… (pause for description) 8… (pause for description) 9… (pause for description) 10… (pause for description)…And now rest.

Facilitator pause Havening Touch.

Facilitator asks client: What do you notice?

Client feedback/facilitator reflection.

Internal Chant/Mantra

STEPS

Choose facilitator and client.

Invite client to reflect on and choose a specific word or phrase that evokes a sense of calm grounded presence and comfort for them. This could be a neutral word or phrase, such as ‘One’ ‘Here-Now’ ‘I Am’; an emotionally valenced word or phrase, such as ‘Peace’, ‘Calm’, ‘Ease’, or ‘Relax’; or a comforting word or phrase affiliated with the clients’ spiritual/religious/faith tradition, such as ‘God is Love’, ‘Shalom’, ‘Om’, ‘Allah’, ‘the Lord is my Shepherd’, etc.

Ask and gain permission to touch.

Invite client to close their eyes and simply relax and receive the touch, while silently chanting their chosen word or phrase. Should their mind wander, invite them to simply and gently return their mind to the word or phrase they have chosen.

Begin facilitated silent havening touch.

Continue facilitating silent havening for 5-7 minutes while the client silently chants their chosen word or phrase. 100

Bring the touch to a gentle pause, and invite your client to open her/his eyes.

Client feedback — how was the touch? What was their experience? What did they notice? How do they feel now?

Note: Occasionally the chanting of a word or phrase denoting a desired state of being will trigger/surface distressful emotions or memories. Should this occur (or should you notice any nonverbal indicators of increased distress), pause and ask the client what they are aware of. The increase in associative processing evoked by Havening Touch (Delta Waves + increased serotonin) can open access to specific traumatically encoded memories that were not previously readily available to conscious awareness. You may at this point shift to Event or Transpirational Havening to dissipate the negative emotional ‘charge’ associated with these now available memories. Once the memories are depotentiated, the client will most likely be able to return to the chanted word/phrase without disruption.

Appreciation Activation

STEPS

Facilitator discuss, gain permission and calibrate touch. Client may exercise option to self- haven if they prefer.

Invite client to place both hands over the area of the heart, close their eyes, and with their attention gently resting in the heart area, to begin reflecting on things in their life that they are grateful for. This can include specific people, experiences, memories, possessions, events — any and everything that for them evokes a sense of appreciation. Allow up to one minute for this silent reflection.

Invite client to rest their hands in their lap, palms up.

Invite client to now simply relax and receive the touch, while speaking this sentence stem out loud over and over, each time completing the sentence with whatever rises into their awareness: One thing I am grateful for is…

Continue to apply Havening Touch as the client repeats and completes the sentence.

One thing I am grateful for is…

101

One thing I am grateful for is…

If the client appears to run out of things to say, simply continue applying the touch in silence for the time allotted. Often, after a moment of silence, more ideas will surface and the client will continue.

Continue this process for four to seven minutes, then pause.

Invite the client to notice their experience. How do they feel? What (if anything) has shifted in their experience/perception? Were they able to maintain focus on gratitude, or did their mind tend to drift or wander?

Client feedback/facilitator reflection.

This process may also be used as the primary distraction/displacement activity in Event Havening. Simply activate and calibrate the traumatically encoded memory, begin Havening Touch, then move immediately to having the client focus on what they are grateful for, and begin repeating the sentence stem. Continue this process for 5 to 7 minutes, then pause and check the SUDS. Repeat the process until depotentiation is complete.

Musical Evocation

STEPS

Facilitator discuss, gain permission and calibrate touch. Client may exercise option to self- haven if they prefer.

Invite client to reflect on and choose a specific musical selection that evokes a sense of positive, uplifting emotion for them. This could be music of any style or genre, vocal or instrumental, classical or contemporary. The primary guideline is that the selection naturally evokes a positive emotional tone, free from negative associations (for example a song associated with a failed romantic relationship or departed loved one would not be appropriate for this process).

Access a recording of the selection to play back (or, if a musician is at hand who can provide a quality live performance, by all means explore this option!).

102

Play the musical selection and begin facilitated silent havening touch.

Continue facilitating silent havening for 5-7 minutes while the client enjoys listening to (and singing or humming along if they choose) their chosen musical selection.

Bring the touch to a gentle pause, and invite your client to open her/his eyes.

Client feedback — What was their experience? What did they notice? How do they feel now? How did the touch impact their experience of the music? How did their experience of the music impact their experience of the touch?

Note: Occasionally listening to an evocative musical selection denoting a desired state of being will trigger/surface distressful emotions or memories. Should this occur (or should you notice any nonverbal indicators of increased distress), pause and ask the client what they are aware of. The increase in associative processing evoked by Havening Touch (Delta Waves + increased serotonin) can open access to specific traumatically encoded memories that were not previously readily available to conscious awareness. You may at this point pause the musical selection and shift to Event or Transpirational Havening to dissipate the negative emotional ‘charge’ associated with these now available memories. Once the memories are depotentiated, the client will most likely be able to return to the chanted word/phrase without disruption.

Note: This process may also be used as the primary distraction/displacement activity in Event Havening. Simply activate and calibrate the traumatically encoded memory, begin Havening Touch, then move immediately to having the client listen to/focus on the designated musical selection. Continue this process for 5 to 7 minutes, then pause and check the SUDS. Repeat the process with the same or an alternative musical selection until depotentiation is complete.

103

50 Ways to Use Self-Havening Now

Part One: building capacity for presence, focus, attention as well as amplifying a specific quality of being

1. Begin by self-applying Havening Touch. Explore how it feels to gently stroke your face, arms, and hands. Experiment both with pace and pressure until you discover your personal ‘sweet spot’ where the touch brings an optimal sense of relaxation and calm.

2. Once you find the quality of touch that feels best for you, begin by simply self- havening silently, with your eyes closed, for two to three minutes. As you do this, simply notice the content of your inner experience. Notice any thoughts, images, feelings, body sensations, ideas, memories that float through your awareness. When you notice these, gently bring your attention back to the feeling of your own soothing touch.

3. Begin self-havening. This time, gently bring your attention to the breath as it moves in and out. Notice the rising and falling of your chest, any sensations in the nostrils or throat as you inhale and exhale. You might notice the breath slowing down a bit as you continue to self-haven, or not. When thoughts and images and feelings and body sensations come to your attention, gently let them go and return your attention to the breath. Continue this practice for up to five minutes.

4. Experiment with havening only your face; or only your arms; or only your hands. Notice how each place you touch evokes a slightly different subjective response.

5. As you self-haven, imagine that someone who loves and cares for you deeply (living or passed on; human being or spiritual archetype) is actually applying the touch. Imagine that you are being havened by this being and taking in it’s profound and unconditional love for you.

6. Before you begin self-havening, take a moment and imagine that you are infusing your hands with the intention and energy of comfort, caring, compassion. As you self-haven, allow this intention to fill your hands, imagining that they are bringing the very essence of these qualities into the core of your being with every stroke.

7. As you self-haven, choose a word that represents a relaxing quality or state of being you desire to amplify in your life, and inwardly chant that word in the rhythm of your touch — chanting once with every stroke. For example — calm, calm, calm;

104

or peace, peace, peace; or present, present, present. Continue this chant/stroke pattern for 3 to 5 minutes.

8. As you self-haven, mentally scan your body from the top of your head, through the head, neck, shoulders, arms, wrists, hands, fingers, torso, abdomen, back, spine, hips, groin, legs, knees, feet, toes, soles. Notice any areas of holding or tension and gently invite these areas to relax, to release, to loosen, to let go. Continue applying havening touch as you scan, notice and release. Pause. Notice how your body feels now.

9. As you self-haven, gently bring your attention to one quality of being you would like to experience more of. You might choose presence, clarity, calm, joy, ease, courage, patience, focus or some other quality; only choose one for this practice. Begin reflecting on this quality: when have you experienced it? How does it feel in your body when you experience this quality? How do you breathe, move, speak, act, interact? What would it be like to experience 10% more of this quality? 20% more? Simply explore this quality of being in your imagination for 3-5 minutes, then pause. What do you notice about your relationship and experience of this quality now?

10. Choose an area of your life that you would like to experience more of the quality you explored in practice #10. As you self-haven, imagine you are sitting inside a movie theater. Begin watching, in your imagination, a movie starring you — a version of you that exemplifies and embodies this specific quality that you have chosen. Make the movie as real and vivid as you can. After continuing the movie for one minute, in your imagination step into the movie, so you are seeing through your own eyes and feeling in your own body the experience of embodying this desired quality.

11. Continue the movie from this inner vantage point for one minute, seeing and hearing and feeling and acting with fully embodied presence as the quality you have chosen. Then step out of the movie and watch as an observer again for approximately one minute. Then, once again, step into the movie and experience living and embodying this quality from the inside.

12. Continue the process described in practice #11 with a series of Iffirmations and Affirmations. “I wonder what it would feel like to experience more [confidence](insert your chosen quality here)”. I’d like more [confidence]. More and more, I am ready to experience more [confidence]. What if I choose [confidence]? What if I were ready for more [confidence]? I am ready to experience more

105

[confidence]. I choose [confidence]. I choose [confidence]. [Confidence]. [Confidence].

Part Two: using self-havening to build resilience and access positive states of being. Integrating self-havening into your daily routine.

13. Choose a memory that is meaningful for you; a ‘magical memory’ that carries a positive, uplifting and/or inspiring emotional tone. Make sure this is not a memory with any negative associations of any kind. Begin Self-Havening. Enter into the memory in your imagination and describe what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, doing out loud, as though you were there now. Continue to deepen your description by adding more and more sensory detail. Continue this process for three to five minutes. Pause. Notice how you feel. This is a simple way to access positive emotion.

14. Make a list of 3-5 memories corresponding to a specific feeling or state of being you desire to experience more of. For example, times when you felt confident, or joyful, or focused, or peaceful. As in #13, be sure these are memories with no negative associations. Begin Self-Havening. Take one minute to focus on each memory, simply remembering the experience as vividly and in as much multisensory detail as you can. Savor each experience as fully as you can before moving on to the next. This practice of recalling and savoring positive memories, over time, can support your capacity for resilience.

15. Begin Self-Havening. Choose a sentence stem that evokes a positive quality or memory: ‘One thing I’m grateful for is…’; (Thanks, Carol Robertson for sharing your exquisite Gratitude Self-Havening process on the recent webinar). Something I really enjoy is…” “One of my favorite people is…” “ I love to….”, etc. Repeat your chosen sentence stem, each time completing the sentence with whatever thoughts come into your awareness. This is another simple way to access and eventually habituate positive emotion.

16. Create a series of affirmative statements that reflect a desired goal or way of being. Write your statements in a journal or print them out if possible (if you’ve written them on your computer or smartphone). Begin Self-Havening. Read your statement out loud three times daily, allowing yourself to feel the truth of each statement. You may also choose to commit your statement to memory. Here’s an example (from a little book I’m writing of positive affirmative statements titled ‘Today I Choose’):

“Today I choose a new beginning. Today I make a fresh start. No matter what the circumstances of my past, I choose today to leave them behind. 106

What I have in this moment is my power to choose, and I choose to begin anew. Now is the only time I have. I remember this today, and embrace each moment with authentic presence and true gratitude.

What is past is past; gone forever, but today — this moment — I can choose to embrace. Today I begin a new chapter in the book of my life. I turn a new page. I begin anew. I seize the moment — this moment — and the next — and the next. I choose to live one moment at a time. In this way, I begin to realize that today can become the first day of the best of my life. Today I choose a new beginning.”

17. Choose a musical selection that you enjoy, or that represents a state of being you would like to be able to access more readily. Self-Haven while you listen. You might also simply imagine the song while Self-Havening, hearing it in your mind’s ear.

18. Integrate Self-Havening into your daily routine (Thanks, Ulf Sandstrom for bringing this up in the recent webinar). Self-Haven when you are in the shower, or while taking a bath, or for just a minute or two in front of the mirror before or after brushing your teeth, shaving, brushing your hair, etc.

19. Before beginning your exercise routine, Self-Haven for just a minute as you envision yourself exercising with focus, confidence and determination.

20. If you meditate, Self-Haven silently for one minute before beginning your meditation practice. Many of my Havening students who meditate comment that helps them settle into meditation more readily.

21. Self-Haven in bed at night before drifting off to sleep. If you like, add simple phrases and suggestions that you will sleep deeply and awaken refreshed.

22. When you first wake in the morning, before rising to begin your day, Self-Haven for a minute or two, envisioning yourself moving through the day with calm, focused ease.

23. If you’re in a meeting of some sort and you find yourself feeling a bit stressed or triggered, begin palm Self-Havening, bringing your attention to your breath. (You can do this discreetly, with hands underneath a desk or table). This can immediately lower your present-moment distress and help you get centered, grounded, and reconnected with your best self.

24. When you are driving and come to a stop light, consider using this opportunity for a moment of Self-Havening. With one hand (keeping the other on the steering

107

wheel for obvious reasons) gently stroking either the opposite arm from the shoulder down to the elbow or gently stroking the cheeks or forehead. Obviously you never would do this if you’re not fully alert! I’ve noticed that this practice tends to ‘takes the edge off’ my tendency to feel a bit (or a lot) impatient when sitting in traffic.

25. Begin Self-Havening. Speak out loud (or internally): I choose to choose. I choose (insert desired state of being or action). Repeat these two statements, reflecting on your capacity for conscious choice making. For example: “I choose to choose. I choose clarity now. I choose to choose. I choose clarity now”.; or “I choose to choose. I choose to write 1000 words today for my blog. I choose to choose. I choose to write 1000 words today for my blog”.; or “I choose to choose. I choose to remember I am loved. I choose to choose. I choose to remember I am loved.”

Part Three: a potpourri of ways to use Self-Havening, particularly exploring combining Self-Havening with various categories of sensory perception (smell, sound, color)

26. The next time you are taking a walk in the beauty of nature, begin gently Self- Havening (probably with your palms, since people are likely to look at you rather strangely as you walk along; unless you don’t care, in which case, feel free to use the face and arms). As you do, bring all of your attention to the beauty around you. Notice the sounds, smells, colors. Allow yourself to deeply savor everything you experience. Then, after a few minutes, stop the Self-Havening as you continue to walk. What do you now notice? When I do this, I find that I have, through just a few moments of Self-Havening, allowed myself to become more fully present and primed my capacity to truly pay attention to the world around me.

27. If you have a cat or dog who loves sitting in your lap while you rub their back, head, or tummy, explore stroking your pet with one hand while you Self-Haven with the other. This seemingly odd juxtaposition can have a mesmerizingly relaxing effect on both you and your furry friend. For an extra jolt of oxytocin, think about how much you love this little creature as you are applying the touch!

28. Self-Havening is even more fun when you do it with another. Whether it’s the effect of mirror neurons or some other aspect of interpersonal neurobiology, the impact seems to deepen when we are both Self-Havening at the same time. So find a buddy, a friend, a colleague, a family member and explore any of the various ideas in this list together. Even silently Self-Havening for two of three minutes will help you both become more fully present, quiet your minds, open your hearts, and enhance your sense of connection. 108

29. We commonly think of Self-Havening along with specific words (as in Iffirmations or Affirmations) or imagery (as in Outcome Havening or mental rehearsal). However, it can also be powerfully enhanced by exploring our sense of smell. You can use essential oils, or flowers, or simply imagine a fragrance that, when you smell it, automatically activates positive feelings and/or memories. Simply begin Self-Havening and either physically inhale the scent you’ve chosen or imagine taking a deep breath of this particular fragrance. As you do, imagine the energetic essence of the scent entering fully into you, filling you with it’s particular essence. If you do an internet search of aromatherapy to discover which fragrances are associated with particular qualities, such as alertness or relaxation, you can customize your Aroma Self-Havening to assist you in accessing more of the qualities you desire.

30. In the same way that we can use the combination of fragrance and Self-Havening to access specific qualities of being, we can also use Color. The simplest way to do this to ask your inner wisdom to give you the color you most need in this moment for your highest and best good. Even though this sounds a bit ‘New-Agey’, there is a growing body of research on the therapeutic applications of color that appears to indicate that experiencing various colors, even in our imagination, can produce a subtle but tangible impact on our moods. Havening Practitioner Malika Stephenson has even developed an original and powerful protocol using Color to help her clients depotentiate traumatically-encoded memories rapidly and gently. (Please contact her if you’d like to learn more about her method). For our purposes in this article, we will simply explore the power of color to help us access and amplify a desired state of being. Once you discern which color your system most requires, begin Self-Havening. Imagine that with each breath, you are taking in more and more of this color. Use whatever metaphor suits you best. You might imagine breathing in a fine mist saturated with the color; or resting underneath a waterfall of liquid light of the desired color; or that your hands are ‘painting’ you with this color; or using whatever other imagery feels right and safe for you. As you continue this process of ‘taking in’ your color for 3 to 5 minutes, you will notice a subtle, but definite, shift in your state of being.

31. Another way to use color along with Self-Havening is to first determine a specific quality of being that you would like to access or amplify. For example, you might choose joy, calm, confidence, presence, curiosity, ease, focus, patience, creativity. Then ask your inner wisdom to give you the color that represents that quality. Next, begin Self-Havening and imagine taking in the color you’ve chosen, in the manner described in #30. Continue the process for 3 to 5 minutes, then check in with yourself. Do you feel a greater sense of the presence of your designated quality? I and my students have discovered that this practice does help them access and 109

amplify the chosen quality, and that, during their day, when they need to access more of this quality, a few seconds of Self-Havening and taking in the color can help.

32. One more Self-Havening variation to explore uses color to assist the body in activating a healing response. If some part of your body is experiencing discomfort, you might explore what happens when you Self-Haven and imagine the color of healing (whatever color your inner wisdom reveals to you) gently saturating that area of your body, softening any sensation of hardness or constriction. With each inhale, you imagine taking in more of this color and as you exhale, you mentally send the color to the desired area. For some people, this simple practice can help relieve discomfort. And of course, if you have any medical issue of any kind, none of these tools should be construed to take the place of the care of a professional.

33. Use a sound machine or app to deepen your state of relaxed calm as you Self- Haven. These devices generate ‘white noise’ variations — usually including ocean, rain, thunder, calm brook, rainforest, etc — that block out background noise and tend to evoke a relaxing, calm state of being. There are also plenty of ‘white noise’ and ambient sound videos available on YouTube.

34. If you use self-hypnosis or guided imagery recordings, Self-Haven for 2-3 minute before you begin listening. I’ve found this practice primes my brain mind system for a deeper experience with the recording.

35. If you use subliminal recordings or listen to recorded affirmations, explore Self- Havening periodically while you’re listening. I’ve noticed that increasing the Delta Waves in this way seems to deepen and enhance the experience.

36. If you use a sound and light machine (a device that features synchronization of light and sound patterns for brainwave entrainment), explore Self-Havening as you work with the programs focusing on relaxation and creativity.

37. As you are Arm Self-Havening, imagine that you are giving yourself a hug. With each stroke, say kind and appreciative things to yourself, either silently or out loud. Imagine that you are being hugged by someone who loves you unconditionally and totally.

38. As you are Arm Self-Havening, whisper kind and loving words to yourself, as though you were speaking to a beautiful and innocent baby. “I love you so much; I appreciate you; I am so happy you’re alive; I love you”. Give yourself the gift of a few minutes of this deep and sincere self-compassion each day. And if you find it difficult, ease your way into it with a few Iffirmations: ‘I’d like to love myself even

110

more. What if I could love myself 10% more today? I wonder what that would be like? What if I choose to be a little bit kinder to me today? What then? (Of course, if these kind words trigger discomfort of any kind, pause and tune in to what’s happening. This might be a perfect opportunity for you to work with Event or Transpirational Havening, or to set a time to work with a Practitioner or even to talk with a trusted friend. Self-love and acceptance, in my observation and experience, are important keys to enduring healing. Another key component is being witnessed — as you are — by another human being who can be fully and unconditionally present to your pain. So if speaking words of loving acceptance to yourself triggers you, the best thing you can do is to reach out for help).

39. Use Self-Havening to help you access calming, soothing, safe imagery. Imagine a place that represents safety and calm to you. This might be a place you’ve actually visited, a place in nature like a beach or meadow or mountain or garden. Alternatively, it might be an imaginary place, or one that you’ve ‘visited’ in a novel or movie. The important thing is that it represents safety and calm for you. Once you’ve chosen your place, begin Self-Havening. As you continue to apply the soothing touch, go to your safe, calm place. Allow your imagination to make this place vivid and detailed. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Notice? Explore this wonderful, magical, safe and calm place for a few moments as you continue Self- Havening. Allow the feelings of calmness and safety to deepen throughout your body and mind. As you practice this, you will be able to access this inner ‘place’ and its accompanying feelings more readily and easily whenever you need them.

40. Choose a painting, picture, drawing or photograph that you like. Place it within view, and begin Self-Havening. As you continue the soothing touch, relax your gaze and simply observe the image. What do you see? Notice the colors, shapes, forms, patterns. Give yourself this opportunity simply to be with this work of art. Continue for 3 or 4 minutes, then pause. How do you feel? What did you notice that you might not have seen before? This practice of simple present-moment observation can be applied to any object and tends to increase our capacity to pay attention and truly see that which is before us. Try this the next time you visit an art museum (gentle palm havening is subtle and won’t draw unwanted attention from the other visitors) and notice how shifting your brainwaves shifts your experience.

Part Four: Self-Havening variations on some of the basic protocols from Dr. Ruden’s book that assist in safely reducing distress and dissolving the negative emotional ‘charge’ from painful events and memories

READ THIS FIRST: As you have noticed, my first 40 Self-Havening variations DO NOT involve the depotentiation of traumatically encoded memories that represents the 111 primary original focus of Havening Techniques®. I would like to clarify that this is an ethical choice. From my perspective, attempting to self-process one’s own emotional pain can be dangerous if the person making such an attempt is unprepared for what may surface during the process. As a result, I do not teach every client modes of Self-Havening that focus on depotentiating their own traumatically encoded memories.

I do, however, readily teach my clients how to use Self-Havening to condition their brain- mind systems for greater resilience and calm, address present-moment distress, and support achievement motivation.

Caution and discretion and care is advised whenever you are attempting to work with your own patterns of emotional pain, particularly if you have a vulnerable neurochemical landscape (as Dr. Ruden teaches in his book and in the 2-day training). The more vulnerable your landscape, the greater the likelihood of abreaction or retraumatizaton. This is why it is ALWAYS advisable to work with a qualified practitioner.

If you have been diagnosed with ANY psychological disorder, DO NOT attempt to clear your own issues with Self-Havening unless you are under the care of a licensed mental health professional who has instructed you to do so.

Given these precautions, here are a few suggestions for safely using Self-Havening to ease your own emotional distress.

41. Prepare your personal distractions in advance. If you become triggered or upset, you won’t have optimal access to your own creative imagination, so I have found it valuable to have a few set distractions ‘in my back pocket’ and ready to use just in case I find myself in an emotional state that does not serve me in that moment. One of my ‘go-to’ distractions, that keeps my mind focused away from the trigger event, is counting backwards while reciting the alphabet forwards. For example, counting down from 26-1 while I recite from A-Z: 26-A-25-B-24-C and so on. I might make this a bit more challenging, counting down from 101 by 3’s and naming objects beginning with ABC etc. Another one of my ‘go-to’ distractions is humming/singing every song I can remember from the Wizard of Oz movie. One more is to use lateral eye movements. Another is to look around the room while I’m Self-Havening and name every object I see. The point is to have a few simple distractions that you can use automatically so in the moment of your upset, you don’t have to spend time figuring them out.

42. When you unexpectedly find yourself ‘triggered’, and you are not in a public setting where Self-Havening would be inappropriate, immediately begin applying the touch. Go to your distractions while you continue Self-Havening for 3-5 minutes,

112

then pause and check your SUDS. Repeat this process until you feel significant relief.

43. Explore using distractions that evoke a positive emotional response. You could: watch a funny video; listen to music you love; imagine being in your favorite place in nature; think of something or someone who makes you laugh.

44. Explore combining the distraction phase of your Self-Havening with a brisk walk. As you take each step, bring your focus outward. Describe out loud everything you see (providing you are not looking at something that reminds you of the experience you are seeking to depotentiate). Feel the soles of your feet as you walk one step at a time. Allow your gaze to travel from side to side as you fully take in whatever your gaze falls upon. As you continue to maintain a solid outward focus while walking and Self-Havening, you will usually notice a significant reduction of your SUDS.

45. Make a list of things that annoy you. Rate your degree of annoyance from 1 (mild) to 10 (high). Use Self-Havening to clear all of those that you rate 3 or less. Work with a colleague or practitioner to address the rest. As you continue to build resilience, you will improve your ability to work with higher levels of emotional discomfort on your own.

46. At the end of each day, make a list of things that triggered you. Give each one a SUDS. Then Self-Haven with a few positive distractions for 5 minutes. Return to the list and notice if any of the SUDS have gone down. Repeat the process, then notice what events do not readily shift. Bring these events to your work with a qualified colleague or practitioner.

47. I do not recommend attempting Self-Transpirational Havening until and unless you are HIGHLY proficient in using this protocol with clients and you are certain that your own landscape is quite resilient.

48. Use Self-Havening to deepen and integrate your learning of these 50 tips. Begin Self-Havening. Take a minute or two to Self-Haven silently as you reflect on what you’ve discovered as you’ve read this series of articles.

49. Then consider these questions: ‘Which Self-Havening variations do I find most interesting? Which will I try out this week? How might I share these with my clients and colleagues?

50. After reflecting on the questions in #49, continue Self-Havening silently for another minute or two. Then, repeat: I wonder what it would be like to easily absorb all that I’ve read today? I wonder how I will begin to use these tools? More and more, I am 113

choosing to learn, to absorb, to integrate this information and make it my own. More and more, I am choosing to learn and grow.” Next, envision and imagine yourself moving forward into the next few hours, days and weeks, easily and naturally integrating and applying any of the Self-Havening variations that will best serve you along your life journey. Close with another minute of silent Self- Havening, feeling gratitude for all you’ve discovered.

I hope you have found benefit in these 50 ways to use Self-Havening to enhance the wellbeing of you and your clients.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if I can be of service to you in your journey to greater proficiency with Havening.

Harry Pickens Certified Havening Techniques® Practitioner and Trainer Author, Fifteen Minutes to Freedom: The Power and Promise Of Havening Techniques® [email protected]

114

The Resilient Well-Being Tool Kit Simple applications of Havening and other psychosensory tools to amplify positive emotions, build resilient neurobiological landscapes, enhance present moment awareness and rewire the brain for joy

Contents:

A — Cultivating Awareness/Mindfulness

1. Tuning Touch 2. Breath Awareness 3. Bodyscan 4. Inner Smile 5. Vagal Breathing (4-7-8) 6. Color Of Calm 7. Inner Listening 8. HeartSpeak 9. Meditation on Weather/Sky 10. Week Review (VideoScan)

B — Building Inner Resourcefulness

1. Gratitudes 2. Relax, Restore, Renew 3. Instant Vacation 4. Waterfall of Delight 5. Sanctuary 6. Mantra 7. HumFest 8. Memory Bank Deposits 9. Positivity Menu 10. Positivity Stack 11. Self-Compassion 12. Joy Cascade 13. Supportive Relationship Map/Metta 14. Laughter Havening 15. Mutual Havening — healthy attachment 16. Mutual Appreciation 17. Mutual Nostalgia 115

18. Mutual Anticipation 19. Habit Locales 20. Playlist — Joy 21. Power Animal 22. Shamanic Identification — River/Water 21. Shamanic Identification — Eagle 22. Shamanic Identification — Mountain

23. Shamanic Identification — Tree 24. Color of Resilience 25. Playlist — Resilience Playlist (Music - 3-5 selections) 26. Resilience Journey — Hike, Rafting, Mountain 27. Exemplar of Resilience 28. Hopeful Havening — “resilience” 29. Installation Transpirational Havening — ‘resilient’ ‘strong’ capable’ ‘lovable’ 30. PhotoStack Install

C — Clearing Negative Emotional Charge

1. Event Havening 2. Using Color to assist with Depotentiation 3. PhotoStack 4. Transpirational Havening 5. Talk Transpirational Havening 6. Forgiveness (Role Havening - Transpirational Havening and/or PhotoStack) 7. Speaking the unspoken (Role Havening) 8. Concept Transpirational Havening — ‘change’ ‘loss’ ‘ letting go’ 9. Outcome Havening — changing the memory (similar to Matrix Re- Imprinting) 10. Ancestral Clearing

D — Solution-Oriented Active Processing

1. Iffirmational Reframe 2. Zoom Out 3. Wise Self/Inner Teacher 4. Crisis/Opportunity 5. Comeback Kid 6. One Thing 7. Old Story, New Story (Fault-finding vs. benefit-finding)

116

8. “Other Side of This” 9. Advisory Council 10. Fear-Setting 11. WOOP 12. Playlist — Sequence of emotions 13. Resilient Self Mind-Movie 14. Daily Preview/Review 15. Sweet Small Simple Step

117

How we can use Havening to support resilient well-being: The Resilient Well-Being Toolkit

A — Cultivating Mindful Awareness (10)

B — Building Inner Resourcefulness (32)

C — Clearing Negative Emotional Charge (10)

D — Solution-Oriented Active Processing (15)

118

A — Cultivating Awareness/Mindfulness

1. Tuning Touch

Begin by self-applying Havening Touch. Explore how it feels to gently stroke your face, arms, and hands. Experiment both with pace and pressure until you discover your personal ‘sweet spot’ where the touch brings an optimal sense of relaxation and calm. Once you find the quality of touch that feels best for you, begin by simply self-havening silently, with your eyes closed, for two to three minutes. As you do this, simply notice the content of your inner experience. Notice any thoughts, images, feelings, body sensations, ideas, memories that float through your awareness. When you notice these, gently bring your attention back to the feeling of your own soothing touch.

2. Breath Awareness

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). This time, gently bring your attention to the breath as it moves in and out. Notice the rising and falling of your chest, any sensations in the nostrils or throat as you inhale and exhale. You might notice the breath slowing down a bit as you continue to self-haven, or not. When thoughts and images and feelings and body sensations come to your attention, gently let them go and return your attention to the breath. You may choose to mentally repeat — ‘breathing in….breathing out…’ in coordination with the breath. Continue this practice for up to five minutes.

3. Bodyscan

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Mentally scan your body from the top of your head, through the head, neck, shoulders, arms, wrists, hands, fingers, torso, abdomen, back, spine, hips, groin, legs, knees, feet, toes, soles. Notice any areas of holding or tension and gently invite these areas to relax, to release, to loosen, to let go. Continue applying havening touch as you scan, notice and release. Pause. Notice how your body feels now.

4. Inner Smile

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine something that makes you smile. Then release the thought, while allowing the smile to remain. Allow the feeling accompanying this gentle smile to expand throughout your body. Imagine the energy of your smile spreading like ripples in a lake in all directions. As you slowly scan the interior of your body, imagine this smile gently emanating from your every organ, tissue, system and cell. It is as though every part of you is smiling, joyful, content, radiant. Your eyes smile. Your brain smiles. The inside of your head. Your neck, shoulders, arms, hands. Your torso — 119 chest, heart, lungs. Your belly, back, spine. Your groin, hips, thighs. Your knees, calves, feet, toes. Every cell! Every atom! All gently smiling, radiant, glowing. With each breath, the smile gently expands. Rest in this sense of radiance. Notice how you feel.

5. Vagal Breathing (4-7-8)

Begin Havening (either self- or facilitated). Breathe in through your nose, and exhale through pursed lips. Breathe in for a mental count of 4; then hold your breath for a mental count of 7; then exhale for a mental count of 8. A you keep the touch going on a continual basis, maintain this in-4 hold-7 out-8 rhythm at first for four breaths, then rest. You may gradually extend the time breathing in the pattern. This pattern of breathing is recommended by Dr. Andrew Weil for deepening relaxation. Adding Havening Touch seems to enhance the practice.

6. Color of Calm

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Think of a color that represents calm to you. It can be any color — sky blue, forest green, sunflower yellow, any color at all — as long as thinking of this color evokes a calm, grounded feeling within you. Next, simply focus on your color. You might imagine breathing the color in with each breath, as though the atmosphere around you is filled, permeated with this color. You might imagine you are underneath a beautiful waterfall of liquid light of this color, as the color gently pours over, around, and into you. You might silently chant the name of your color with each breath. You might imagine being in the midst of a beautiful flower garden filled with flowers sparkling with your color. Or you may have another way of imagining that feels more natural for you. Continue this process for 5-7 minutes, focusing on your color…bringing it in with each breath…filling your awareness…bringing your color into any part of your body or awareness where it’s needed.

7. Inner Listening

Choose a question that you will pose to your inner source of wisdom. You may choose to write this question out. Once you begin Havening (self- or receiving Havening Touch®), take a minute or two simply to settle in and allow an inner quietness to pervade your awareness. Then bring your question to mind. Ask the question, silently or out loud, then let it go. Simply rest gently in the present moment. Listen inwardly. At first, you may not notice an answer or response. Or, you might immediately perceive something — an image, word, feeling, body sensation. Even if you don’t perceive anything in particular, continue Havening in silence for a few minutes. Then as you go about your day, open to the possibility that your answer may arrive at any time.

120

8. HeartSpeak

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Bring your awareness to the area of your heart. Evoke a sense of gratitude as you continue resting your awareness gently in the area of your heart. Continue simply to feel appreciation for a minute or so, directing some of this gratefulness to your heart for it’s faithful and devoted service to you throughout your life. Next, ask your heart, ‘What do you want me to know right now?’. Then rest in receptive silence and listen. Your answer may come as a sensation of warmth, an image, a word, or simply an inner knowing. Whatever emerges, thank your heart for this communication.

9. Meditation on Weather/Sky

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). As you rest gently in the present moment, consider this idea. Emotions are like the weather – constantly changing, unpredictable, and compelling in the moment. Awareness is like the sky – always clear, no matter what storms might rage underneath it.

Creating the life you want involves identifying primarily with your awareness, not your emotions, taking actions each day that serve your intentions and align with your values, regardless of the temporary emotional weather that may be prevailing in the moment.

Reflect on this idea — first simply pay attention to your current emotional state - the ‘weather’ of the moment. What is the general tone of your emotional reality in this moment? Now shift your attention to the spacious observing awareness — the ‘sky’ which is ever -present as a witness to whatever emotion may be emerging in the moment. Alternate your attention between these two modes for a few minutes. What do you discover?

10. Week Review (VideoScan)

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine you’re in a movie theater, viewing a movie of your life in this past week. There you are, on the screen, as though a hidden camera has been observing your every move. As you observe your actions in this way, notice both the highlights as well as the more challenging experiences. What stands out? Are there any specific moments you would like to savor? Other moments you would change if you could? Moments when you made progress in the direction of your important priorities? Moments when you got in your own way? Reviewing your life — one week — or one day at a time in this manner can yield valuable discoveries and help you make desired changes.

121

B — Building Inner Resourcefulness

1. Gratitudes

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). With your attention gently resting in the heart area, begin reflecting on things in your life that you are grateful for. This can include specific people, experiences, memories, possessions, events — any and everything that for you evokes a sense of appreciation. Allow up to one minute for this silent reflection.

Next simply relax and receive Havening Touch®, while speaking this sentence stem out loud over and over, each time completing the sentence with whatever rises into your awareness: One thing I am grateful for is…One thing I am grateful for is…One thing I am grateful for is…One thing I am grateful for is…If you run out of things to say, simply continue applying the touch in silence for the time allotted. Often, after a moment of silence, more ideas will surface. Continue this process for four to seven minutes, then pause. Notice your experience. How do you feel? What (if anything) has shifted?

2. Relax, Restore, Renew

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Hold the intention that you are devoting this Havening time to yourself, as a gift of restoration, relaxation and renewal. There is nothing you need to do, nowhere you need to go, no problem that you need to solve — not now. This is your time to rest and restore. Notice how deeply you can enter into this intention. You might gently recite — relax, restore, renew. Or you might gently allow your body to let go more and more with each breath. If thoughts arise, simply acknowledge them and bring your attention back to the breath, the present moment, and the gentle intention to relax, restore, renew.

3. Instant Vacation

Identify a place that for them evokes a feeling of calm, centered ease, safety and relaxation. This could be a familiar place in nature or some other setting, or even an imaginary place or a locale depicted in a movie, story or other work of fiction. What matters is that when you think of this place, it naturally evokes feelings of calm, centeredness, ease, safety and relaxation with zero negative emotional associations.

Begin Havening Touch™ and go to your special place in your imagination. As you imagine being in this place, you will count slowly from one to ten. With each count, describe, out loud, one thing that you see, hear, smell, feel or notice about that place. Be as detailed as you can. For example, if we were going to the beach, you might describe the sound of the 122 waves, then the feeling of the sand between your toes, then the puffy white clouds in the sky, and so forth.

Begin counting, and with each count, simply describe one thing you see, hear, smell, feel or notice. 1… (describe) 2… (describe) 3… (describe) 4… (describe) 5… (describe) 6… (describe) 7… (describe) 8… (describe) 9… (describe) 10… (describe)…And now rest. What do you notice?

4. Waterfall of Delight

Begin Havening (either self- or facilitated). Imagine you are resting beneath a radiant waterfall of liquid light (of whatever color or colors feel most healing and restorative to you) which cascades over, around and through you, bringing wave after wave of soothing, healing relaxation. Hear the gentle waves, feel the soothing, relaxing, revitalizing energy as it caresses every cell from the top of your head all the way to the soles of your feet. Continue this process for 3 to 5 minutes. What do you notice?

5. Sanctuary

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine a special, sacred, safe place that is just for you. You can create any and everything you desire to put here. This place could be a vast cathedral constructed of shimmering emeralds, a rustic cabin in the woods, a tipi resting by a creek, a dark and cozy cave — whatever special place brings you the greatest sense of comfort, safety, home. Feel free to create an altar or other sacred space and to furnish it with any artifacts, icons, pictures, art or other objects that inspire and uplift you. Once you create this place, you can return — simply to rest, or to meet with inspiring beings, or to create, or for whatever purpose you choose.

6. Mantra

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Choose a word that represents a relaxing quality, sense of presence, or state of being you desire to amplify in your life. This could be a neutral word or phrase, such as ‘One’ ‘Here-Now’ ‘I Am’; an emotionally valenced word or phrase, such as ‘Peace’, ‘Calm’, ‘Ease’, or ‘Relax’; or a comforting word or phrase affiliated with your spiritual/religious/faith tradition, such as ‘God’, ‘Shalom’, ‘Om’, ‘Allah’, ‘the Lord is my Shepherd’, etc. Inwardly chant that word in the rhythm of your touch — chanting once with every stroke. For example — calm, calm, calm; or peace, peace, peace; or present, present, present. Continue this chant/stroke pattern for 3 to 5 minutes.

123

7. HumFest

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Hum favorite tunes just for the joy of it. You might remember an earlier time in your life, perhaps as a child, when you would sing, hum, skip and play for no reason at all. This is an opportunity to reclaim this innocent, joyful state of being. Keep humming for at least one minute, choosing freely from songs you know and/or making up your own!

8. Memory Bank Deposits

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Choose a memory that is meaningful for you; a ‘magical memory’ that carries a positive, uplifting and/or inspiring emotional tone. Make sure this is not a memory with any negative associations of any kind. Begin Havening. Enter into the memory in your imagination and describe what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, doing out loud, as though you were there now. Continue to deepen your description by adding more and more sensory detail. Continue this process for three to five minutes. Pause. Notice how you feel. This is a simple way to access positive emotion.

Make a list of 3-5 memories corresponding to a specific feeling or state of being you desire to experience more of. For example, times when you felt confident, or joyful, or focused, or peaceful. Be sure these are memories with no negative associations. Begin Havening. Take one minute to focus on each memory, simply remembering the experience as vividly and in as much multi-sensory detail as you can. Savor each experience as fully as you can before moving on to the next. This practice of recalling and savoring positive memories, over time, can support your capacity for resilience.

Begin a ‘magical memory’ journal, wherein you devote a few minutes each day or week reflecting on your past to ‘harvest’ memories that evoke positive experiences for you. Choose memories from this growing ‘memory bank’ to work with as described above to expand and amplify your access to desired states of being.

9. Positivity Menu

Make a list of 3 to 7 positive states of being you would like to experience more often. Here are a few examples: Amusement, Joy, Delight, Curiosity, Kindness, Confidence, Courage, Glee, Awe, Serenity, Gratitude, Encouragement, Inspiration. Choose one to work with.

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). As you haven, gently bring your attention to one quality of being you would like to experience more of. Begin reflecting on this quality:

124 when have you experienced it? How does it feel in your body when you experience this quality? How do you breathe, move, speak, act, interact? What would it be like to experience 10% more of this quality? 20% more? Simply explore this quality of being in your imagination for 3-5 minutes, then pause. What do you notice about your relationship and experience of this quality now?

Next imagine you are sitting inside a movie theater. Begin watching, in your imagination, a movie starring you — a version of you that exemplifies and embodies this specific quality that you have chosen. Make the movie as real and vivid as you can.

After continuing the movie for one minute, in your imagination step into the movie, so you are seeing through your own eyes and feeling in your own body the experience of embodying this desired quality. Continue the movie from this inner vantage point for one minute, seeing and hearing and feeling and acting with fully embodied presence as the quality you have chosen.

Then step out of the movie and watch as an observer again for approximately one minute. Then, once again, step into the movie and experience living and embodying this quality from the inside.

10. Positivity Stack

This time choose 3 qualities from your list. Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Evoke each quality, one at a time, as described above. Then feel #1 and #2 at the same time. Take a deep breath as you allow these two qualities to co-exist within you. Now rest for a few seconds, and then feel #2 and #3 at the same time. Once again, take a deep breath as you allow these two qualities to co-exist within you. Rest for a few seconds, then feel #1, 2 and 3 all at the same time.

11. Self-Compassion

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Bring to awareness some being (person or pet) who naturally evokes a sense of caring and warmth within you. This could be someone alive or someone who has passed on; a friend, relative, child, or pet; even a spiritual figure. As you gently rest awareness in the area of your heart, simply continue to focus on this being, allowing the warm and caring feelings to emerge and increase. Truly feel the depth of your care for this being, and imagine that you, like the sun, are radiating wave after wave of pure caring, warmth and kindness in their direction. You might even speak these words, silently or out loud: “May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering. May you experience peace.”

125

After continuing this practice for a few minutes, release the image of the being and see/feel/imagine yourself in their place. Continue to radiate caring, warmth, kindness now towards this image of yourself. If this is challenging at first, simply return to your intention and persist. Over time, it will become easier and more natural to bring yourself the same quality of caring that you bring to others.

12. Joy Cascade

What color best represents the energy of joy to you? Imagine the atmosphere around you is saturated, permeated, filled with a fine mist of this color. As you experience Havening Touch®, imagine that you are taking this color into every cell of your being. With each inhale, you take in more and more joy; with each exhale, releasing anything that would seem to block the flow of joy throughout your being. Continue breathing in and expanding this sense of joy.

13. Supportive Relationship Map/Metta

Create a mind-map listing supportive relationships in your life. Begin Havening (either self- or facilitated). Reflect on each of these individuals, feeling appreciation and sensing their support for you.

As you bring each person to mind, send them a silent blessing and intention for wellbeing. If you choose, you may repeat — internally or out loud, this simple four-line statement, adopted from a Buddhist lovingkindness practice: ‘May you be happy. May you be well. May you be free from suffering. May you experience peace.’ Repeat this while focusing on each person.

14. Laughter Havening

Thousands of ‘Laughter Clubs’ worldwide have demonstrated that we don’t need to wait for something funny to occur in order to laugh. We can choose to laugh and gain all the benefits, lift our mood, boost our wellbeing. So here you simply laugh. Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). You might laugh in rhythm, replacing the lyrics to a favorite song. Or you might begin a hearty belly-laugh or a light ‘hee-hee’ chuckle. Continue laughing non-stop for one to two minutes, then pause and notice how you feel.

15. Mutual Havening — healthy attachment

Sit facing your partner, with your right hand resting palm-down on your right knee, and your left and resting palm-up on your left knee. Begin havening one another. As you do,

126 repeat these (and similar) phrases — “we’re in this together”; “we can work well together”; “we can choose to connect and collaborate”; “we can respect and appreciate one another”; “together we can handle whatever comes along”. This and the other ‘Mutual Havening’ processes can also be done with one person facilitating and the other receiving the touch. This variation on Mutual Havening can deepen your sense of connection with a friend, partner, colleague.

16. Mutual Appreciation

Sit facing your partner, with your right hand resting palm-down on your right knee, and your left and resting palm-up on your left knee. Begin havening one another. As you do, take turns expressing your appreciation for one another. You can use a sentence stem such as, ‘One thing I appreciate about you is…’, or ‘Thank you for…’. After partner A completes one appreciation, partner B first responds ‘Thank you’, then shares their appreciation.

17. Mutual Nostalgia

With a partner, make a short list of 3 to 5 pleasant shared memories. Please choose memories free of negative emotional associations. Sit facing your partner, with your right hand resting palm-down on your right knee, and your left and resting palm-up on your left knee. Begin havening one another. As you do, take turns sharing the highlights of these remembered experiences one at a time. Use as much sensory detail as you can as you describe.

18. Mutual Anticipation

With a partner, decide on some experience you are both really looking forward to experiencing. Sit facing your partner, with your right hand resting palm-down on your right knee, and your left and resting palm-up on your left knee. Begin havening one another. As you do, take turns sharing what you are most looking forward to. Use as much sensory detail as you can as you describe.

19. Habit Locales

Think about your typical day. What are the things you do every single day? Where do you do these things? Then reflect on this question: ‘How many ways can I incorporate Havening into my daily rituals and habits?’.

127

For example — first thing in the morning upon waking, washing my face when I get up, taking a shower, making breakfast, saying goodbye to family members at the start of the work/school day, driving, sitting at a stop light, parking, work day activities.

Where might you take 30 seconds to self-haven, using any of the tools in this list to help you focus, prepare, affirm, relax, renew? Once you’ve decided where you can incorporate this practice, actively envision yourself following through.

20. Playlist — Joy

Choose three to five musical selections that evoke joy for you. Put them together in a playlist. Self-Haven while you listen. You might also simply imagine the songs while Self- Havening, hearing them in your mind’s ear. In time, simply thinking about the songs while Havening will elicit the emotion of joy.

21. Power Animal

Shamanic practices as a core component of indigenous spirituality may facilitate a conscious connection with archetypal energies that can serve inform our conscious awareness, bringing information that is otherwise difficult or impossible to access through the medium of rational thinking. Identification and communication with a ‘Power Animal’ is a classic practice for connecting with the specific energy that can assist us in resolving a dilemma or accessing creative ideas.

To initiate this process, simply begin Havening and, as you gently settle into the present moment, ask your inner wisdom to reveal your Power Animal. Open in receptive awareness and listen. You might get an immediate impression — an image, or word, or sound. If so, express gratitude for what has been perceived and continue by asking what is the message/gift the animal has for you. Reflect on whatever has been received. You might want to take a bit of time to journal as well as staying receptive to notice what additional insights may emerge over the following day.

My most recent experience of this process yielded a clear inner impression of an eagle. As I continued to ‘listen’ to the eagle’s message, it became clear to me that I needed to look at a situation that had brought concern from a ‘higher, broader’ perspective, not getting carried away or distracted by the short-term challenges; rather, my opportunity was to look, think and act long-term. This insight brought about a significant shift in my perspective which reframed an issue that I had been struggling with.

128

22. Shamanic Identification — River/Water

The process of consciously identifying with an aspect of the natural world can catalyze shifts in perception and open access to previously unavailable modes of being. Begin by bringing to mind an issue that is currently challenging for you, in which a greater capacity to flow with change could benefit you. In this process, after beginning Havening Touch® and relaxing into the touch for a few minutes, begin to imagine that you have become a river. Sense your existence as water, effortlessly flowing around all apparent obstacles. Savor this experience for a few minutes. Now consider your problem or issue. How does it appear now? What is different? What new or novel perspectives emerge?

23. Shamanic Identification — Eagle

Begin by bringing to mind an issue that is currently challenging for you, in which a broader, more expansive perspective could benefit you. After beginning Havening Touch® and relaxing into the touch for a few minutes, begin to imagine that you have become an eagle. Savor this experience for a few minutes. Soar high above your problem or issue. How does it appear now? What is different? What new or novel perspectives emerge?

24. Shamanic Identification — Mountain

Begin by bringing to mind an issue that is currently challenging for you, in which a greater sense of solidity, stability, groundedness, and strength could benefit you. After beginning Havening Touch® and relaxing into the touch for a few minutes, begin to imagine that you have become a mountain. Feel the immense strength, solidity, stillness and stability that is you. Consider your problem or issue. How does it appear now? What is different? What new or novel perspectives emerge?

25. Shamanic Identification — Tree

Begin by bringing to mind an issue that is currently challenging for you, in which a greater sense of solidity AND flexibility could benefit you. After beginning Havening Touch® and relaxing into the touch for a few minutes, begin to imagine that you have become a tree. Savor this experience for a few minutes. Now consider your problem or issue. How does it appear now? What is different? What new or novel perspectives emerge?

129

26. Color of Resilience

Think of a color that represents resilience to you. It can be any color — sky blue, forest green, sunflower yellow, any color at all — as long as thinking of this color evokes confident, optimistic, courageous feelings.

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Next, simply focus on your color. You might imagine breathing the color in with each breath, as though the atmosphere around you is filled, permeated with this color. You might imagine you are underneath a beautiful waterfall of liquid light of this color, as the color gently pours over, around, and into you. You might silently chant the name of your color with each breath. Or you may have another way of imagining that feels more natural for you.

Continue this process for 5-7 minutes, focusing on your color…bringing it in with each breath…filling your awareness…bringing your color into any part of your body or awareness where it’s needed. Then envision yourself triumphant in whatever context you desire an increased sense of resilience.

27. Playlist — Resilience Playlist (Music - 3-5 selections)

Choose three to five musical selections that evoke a sense of resilience for you. Put them together in a playlist. Self-Haven while you listen. As you listen, envision yourself triumphant, recovering, bouncing back, resilient. You might also simply imagine the songs while Self-Havening, hearing them in your mind’s ear. In time, simply thinking about the songs while Havening will elicit the desired state. You can also do this with a video playlist. Many YouTube video compilations exist that feature one heroic scene after another, accompanied by inspiring, uplifting, confidence-evoking soundtracks.

28. Resilience Journey — Hike, Rafting, Mountain

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Reflect on a life area wherein you desire to experience a greater sense of inner strength and resilience. Next, release those thoughts and imagine you are embarking on a difficult and arduous journey. You might be hiking through tough terrain, white-water rafting, or climbing a mountain.

Begin by preparing internally for the journey. Then begin. Your objective is simply to continue, no matter what obstacles you face. As you proceed, describe out loud your experience of the journey. Affirm your clarity, determination, grit, diligence: ‘I persist. I succeed. I trust. I take one step at a time. I can do this’ Continue for 5-7 minutes to the

130 completion of your journey. Next, return to the identified life area. Do you perceive it differently now?

29. Exemplar of Resilience

Begin Havening (either self- or facilitated). Reflect on a life area wherein you desire to experience a greater sense of inner strength and resilience. Next, reflect on a person (either someone you know personally or know of) who, from your perspective, exemplifies the quality of resilience. Imagine you could meet with this person. How might they respond to your current challenges? What advice would they give you? Initiate an imaginary conversation with this exemplar of resilience. Once complete, thank them for their comments. As you return to the identified life area, reflect on how you might respond, based on the information you’ve received.

30. Hopeful Havening — “resilience”

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Repeat the word ‘resilient’ as your partner repeats iffirmations and affirmations supporting your embodiment of this quality. For example: “what if you remember your inner power?” ‘resilient’ “I wonder what it will be like when you bounce back with ease?” ‘resilient’ “more and more, you are becoming the kind of person who can handle whatever life brings your way” ‘resilient’ “you are resilient” ‘resilient ’.

Alternatively, the facilitator can create a story (or share an existing story)— referring to client in the third person — that expresses qualities of resilience. “Once upon a time…” ‘resilient’ “… there was a woman named Mary…” ‘resilient’ “… who faced a difficult diagnosis… ‘resilient’ “… with tremendous courage and character…” ‘resilient’ “… even when she felt afraid and doubted herself… ‘resilient’ “… and as she took one step at a time…” ‘resilient’ “… she noticed a new confidence and strength…” ‘resilient’ “… and found an unshakeable core of calm and joy…” ‘resilient’ …at the center of her being… ‘resilient’…

This variation on Hopeful Havening can be explored with any specific state of being or character trait that you would like to deepen and develop within yourself and/or your clients.

31. Installation Transpirational (“Installational") Havening — ‘resilient’ ‘ strong’ capable’ ‘lovable’

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Begin chanting one of the words listed above. As you continue chanting the word, reflect on times in your life when you expressed and

131 embodied this quality. If any other feelings, memories, thoughts arise, simply notice them and bring your attention back to the chant. Continue this process until you feel a high level of congruency with the desired quality. Next, envision and imagine yourself moving into the future fully embodying this quality of being.

Note: this is different process than the original Transpirational Havening, which works to de-potentiate memory networks associated with specific emotions. Here we focus on a desired trait, accessing, amplifying our awareness of this trait. Memories that apparently contrast with the trait may come into our awareness for clearing and depotentiation as we continue to focus on our desired trait. Continue to chant the words associated with the desired trait until the contrasting memories and emotions fade and clear.

32. PhotoStack Install

Imagine an album or scrapbook filled with snapshots of you at your very best. Describe the albums dimensions in detail. As you experience Havening Touch®, savor the photographs, feeling the associated emotions. Imagine the album growing brighter, more vivid, more real, as the emotions also expand within and through you. You might also imagine merging with the album, taking it energetically into your heart and expand this energy throughout your body.

132

C — Clearing Negative Emotional Charge

Most of these tools are part of the core Havening protocols, covered in the Primer and official 2-day training, so I will not elaborate on them here. I include this category because of the necessity of traumatic de-potentiation in support of resilient wellbeing.

1. Event Havening

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

2. Using Color to assist with Depotentiation

Focus on an issue/problem you would like to resolve. Imagine that the problem/issue you would like to clear/resolve could be represented by a color. If this problem was a color, what color might it be?’

Reflect on and determine the color that best represents your issue. Evoke details and nuances and textural data — Does the color have a texture? A smell? A feeling? Where do you experience it in your body?

Now take a breath and clear your mind. Please think of a color that would represent healing and resolution of this issue to you. It can be any color — sky blue, forest green, sunflower yellow, rose, violet, any color at all — as long as thinking of this color evokes a sense of healing and resolution within you.

Begin Havening touch. Focus on breathing in your healing color, and exhaling the color associated with your issue/problem. You might imagine breathing the healing color in with each breath, as though the atmosphere around you is filled, permeated with this color. You might imagine you are underneath a beautiful waterfall of liquid light comprised of this color, as the color gently pours over, around, and through you. You might silently chant the name of your color with each breath. Or you may have another way of imagining that feels more natural for you. The basic principle is that with each breath, you take in more and more of your healing color, and release more and more of the color associated with your problem.

Begin focusing on taking in your healing color with each inhale,and releasing your problem color with each exhale. Continue this process for 5-7 minutes. Its best not to try too hard or attempt to force the process; simply take in the one color as you breathe in, and release the other as you breathe out.

133

3. PhotoStack

Since the right brain processes huge quantities of data through symbol, metaphor and imagery, it seemed logical that a symbol that represented every detail of an issue could be used to clear the issue in a powerful and comprehensive manner. Proper execution of PhotoStack can completely neutralize the negative emotional charge from all memories associated with a particular issue, eliminating the need for addressing one aspect or incident at a time or having to recount incidents step by step.

Here’s the basic protocol:

Identify the theme/issue you will be addressing. For example – the belief that life is a struggle; my fear of public speaking; this sense of being ashamed of my body; my experience of toxic guilt and shame connected to my religious upbringing; etc.

Imagine a camera that records every single moment of your life and then processes each scene as a snapshot.

Imagine one snapshot of every time you experienced ______(this feeling of betrayal OR every time you felt something wasn't 'right' with your husband OR every experience in your life where you felt betrayed by a man OR every time you felt worthless OR -- whatever the theme/issue -- etc...).

Please put your hands on your heart and close your eyes and imagine -- If you could take all these moments -- every single snapshot -- and put them in a pile or stack, or a group of photo albums, what might that be like -- how big would it be? [Elicit description – size, width, height, dimensions, neatly piled or scattered, one or multiple piles/stacks/albums, etc.]

Great - please point to the stack -- is it right in front of you? [Client response]

How far away? [Client response]

[If it's too close to them - less than 6-8 feet away, I usually have them put it across the room, or in the next room, etc... this helps dissociate the person from feeling the emotional intensity in the stack and lowers the probability of abreactions]

So what are some of the emotions in this stack of moments of ______? [Client response]

134

(List the various emotions -- ex — shame, fear, doubt, guilt, remorse, sadness, etc...)

[I don't generally ask for an intensity /SUDS number because the SIZE of the stack will give clear indication as to what is shifting...however, if you would like to calibrate the emotional intensity, even going as far as to measure the intensity of each emotion, feel free to do this, especially as you are learning the technique. Precise calibration and testing afterward will give you confidence in using the technique and also help you refine your skill in helping your client completely clear the issue.]

Now, give this pile/stack/album a name/title.

Next, depotentiate using Event Havening.

When the stack is all gone, test by having them check specific memories and determine if there is any remaining change -- the vast majority of the memories should feel quite different now. If not, there is probably a bigger issue underneath that is surfacing which you can address next through whatever technique is most appropriate.

4. Transpirational Havening

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

5. Talk Transpirational Havening

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

6. Forgiveness (Role Havening - Transpirational Havening and/or PhotoStack)

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

7. Speaking the unspoken (Role Havening)

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

8. Concept Transpirational Havening — ‘change’ ‘loss’ ‘ letting go’

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

135

This refers to the standard TH protocol, working with the words ‘change’, ‘loss’, or ‘letting go’, or similar words or phrases relating to the capacity to accept, learn from, and recover from adversity and unanticipated change.

9. Outcome Havening — changing the memory (similar to Matrix Re-Imprinting)

See Ruden, Havening Techniques®: A Primer

10. Ancestral Clearing

This is an advanced process to be done only after you have cleared whatever emotional charge you personally experience when reflecting on any specific memories regarding your ancestors. Here you work with your image of an ancestor whose energetic presence you feel continues to impact you in a negative way.

While Havening, imagine, as your current adult fully empowered self, coming into the presence of this ancestor. After greeting them, you share that you have a tool that may be able to help them reduce their suffering and ask if they would like for you to share it with them. If they agree, you tell them about Havening and proceed to Haven them around any issue they want to address. Once they (imaginally) clear the presenting issue, often this alleviates your experience of negative emotional charge. This process is derived from Matrix ReImprinting, which works in this way with younger aspects of a person. If this is of interest to you, I highly recommend you explore Matrix ReImprinting, as the basic principles and protocols are a great match with Havening.

136

D — Solution-Oriented Active Processing

1. Iffirmational Reframe

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated).Reflect on your most pressing current challenge. As you begin to consider this issue, explore the following iffirmations, reciting each out loud.

“I wonder how I might begin to perceive this situation in a new and empowering way?” “I wonder who I will be and how I will feel once I get to the other side of this…?” “I wonder when part of me, at some time, perhaps in the future, perhaps today, will begin to consider new creative solutions?” “I wonder who I will become as I discover the opportunity for growth that I might not yet perceive?” “I wonder when I’ll find the gold hidden beneath the surface of this situation?” “I wonder what step I’ll take next to move towards the solution I most deeply desire?”

2. Zoom Out

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Reflect on an issue that is currently challenging to you. Imagine you’re looking back from the future — from a time far after the issue is likely to be resolved. 5 years from now. 10 years. 100 years. Notice how you perceive the issue now.

Alternatively, imagine lifting out of your body, flying high in the air like an eagle, viewing your body and your issue from hundreds, thousands of miles above the earth. Notice how you perceive the issue now.

3. Wise Self/Inner Teacher

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine you are traveling to a place, perhaps in nature, or located anywhere that feels safe and calm to you. You come to a bench or some kind of seat and stop to rest. A wise being approaches you, you greet one another, and the being sits next to you. You proceed to have a conversation with this wise being, asking for insight on your issue from their perspective. Once your conversation comes to a natural conclusion, you thank the being and bid them farewell for now, perhaps sharing a hug. As you return fully to the here and now, what new insights do you have regarding your issue.

137

4. Crisis/Opportunity

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Reflect on the challenge you currently face. Explore it from multiple perspectives — allow yourself to step outside of the issue as fully as you are able. Next, begin to repeat this statement out loud, each time completing spontaneously with whatever insight emerges: “One opportunity present within this situation is…” (If doing this with a facilitator, the facilitator simply responds, ‘Thank you’ to each comment without elaborating or discussing). Continue repeating the statement until an insight emerges that shifts your perspective on the issue. Notice how you perceive the issue now.

5. Comeback Kid

Imagine the ‘comeback kid’, a archetypal character that exhibits a remarkable ability to bounce back from any adversity he or she faces. (The term originated in a 1980 movie and was later used as a nickname for various sports and political figures who succeeded in the face of significant obstacles.) The comeback kid is full of pluck, steely determination and allows no one or nothing to discourage him/her for long, exhibiting apparently superhuman powers, a wicked sense of humor, and always wears a broad “I can do it” grin. You might experience this being as a cartoon character, a superhero, someone you know or know of (real or fictional/novel/movie character) or simply as the most resilient ‘bouncebacky’ human who has ever lived.

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Envision the comeback kid encountering your situation and notice his/her response. Next, say hello to the kid and request his/her perspective and/or advice. Notice how you perceive the issue now and note any action steps that emerge.

6. One Thing

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Ask your inner wisdom, ‘what is the ONE THING I need to learn, change or discover that will make the greatest positive difference in addressing this issue? Once you gain clarity, ask, ‘what is the single most productive action I need to take now’?

7. Old Story, New Story (Fault-finding vs. Benefit-finding)

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Tell the story of your issue, out loud, from the least empowered perspective you can imagine. Exaggerate your helplessness, victimhood,

138 passivity to the extreme. Blame everything and everyone. Take zero responsibility for your reactions. In the telling, freely and fully indulge in your worst impulses.

Then stop, take a few deep breaths, and begin anew, this time telling the story from the most empowered, self-responsible perspective possible.

Speak now from your wisest self, expressing your highest capacity for conscious choice- fulness. Speak of the once-hidden, now apparent, opportunities and possibilities for growth, choice, ethical and moral development. See and speak the benefits you choose to create and accrue as a result of facing this challenge. Now pause. Reflect on the two stories you have told. What did you notice as you shared each one? What feelings and perspectives emerged through each? Which story will you now choose to tell?

8. “Other Side of This”

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine that, at some time in the future, you have resolved whatever challenge you currently face. From this future perspective, tell the story of how you got here and what you learned and discovered along the way. Next, return to this present time and notice how you perceive the situation.

9. Advisory Council

Make a list of 3 to 7 people whose experience, expertise and wisdom you deeply respect. These can be people you know personally or simply people you know of. They can include the living and no-longer living, family/relatives/ancestors, celebrities, political figures, spiritual exemplars, business leaders, athletic champions, fictional characters, superheroes — any beings who you feel could offer valuable insights, guidance, advice in your area of concern.

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine each of these individuals entering a meeting room. They have come to be part of your personal advisory council. Welcome them and introduce each to the others. Next present the challenge, problem, or issue for which you would like to receive their input. Call on each in turn and listen to their perspective.

Take as much time as necessary for this imaginary discussion. You may feel as though you are ‘making it all up’. This is okay. Trust that the information perceived will have some value to you. You might want to share out loud, to your partner or to a voice recorder, whatever insights emerge through this process.

139

Once the discussion comes to an end, thank your imaginal advisory council. Now reflect on your issue. How has your perspective shifted?

10. Fear-Setting

This process comes from the Stoic tradition of looking fear in the face in order to confront and conquer it. I first learned about this idea from a TED talk given by Tim Ferris. (https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_yo ur_goals).

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated).

Reflect on the worst possible scenario in relationship to whatever issue you are dealing with. As you consider this potential tragedy, begin to consider — what actions may I take right now that could make the greatest difference in preventing — or successfully coping with — this possible outcome? Then move immediately to take the requisite actions.

11. WOOP

WOOP is a simple and effective evidence-based technique for increasing achievement motivation. WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). First, take yourself to that time in the future where you have successfully completed your goal. Next imagine the steps they took to achieve it, still ‘thinking from the future back’. Next, imagine and vividly feel the primary obstacle you will likely face along the journey. Next, plan your course of action, focusing on one specific task, articulated in this format: When X, I will Y (When I wake each morning, I will do 10 pushups; when I come home at the end of the day, I will take 15 minutes to write in my journal before watching TV; when I (context) I will (action). Finally, envision yourself following through with your plan.

The power of WOOP (read more at http://woopmylife.org) is in the INTEGRATION of goal, outcome, key obstacle, and specific next steps. Integrating these into OH tends to improve results.

12. Playlist — Sequence of emotions

Choose a sequence of emotions bridging from a less-empowered to more fully- empowered state. (Sadness — Acceptance — Peace — Wonder — Joy; Anger —

140

Frustration — Calm — Determination — Triumph; Fear — Nervousness — Relaxation — Curiosity — Contentment). Create a playlist with a musical selection that, for you, evokes each emotional state. The next time you experience one of the less-empowered states, begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated) and listen to your playlist. You will notice that the combination of Havening Touch® and the music will help you more readily transform your state of being in a desirable direction.

13. Resilient Self Mind-Movie

Choose an area of your life in which you would like to experience more resilience.

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine you are sitting inside a movie theater. Begin watching, in your imagination, a movie starring you — a version of you that exemplifies and embodies resilient wellbeing. Make the movie as real and vivid as you can.

Then step out of the movie and watch as an observer again for approximately one minute. Then, once again, step into the movie and experience living and embodying this quality from the inside.

14. Daily Preview/Review

Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). Imagine you’re in a movie theater, viewing a movie of your life today. There you are, on the screen, as though a hidden camera observes your every move. Preview your day. Imagine and envision yourself going through your day, moving in the direction of your important goals and priorities, taking effective action, embodying desired states of being. As you observe your actions in this way, notice both the highlights as well as the more challenging experiences. Envision yourself at the end of the day, acknowledging and savoring your accomplishments and preparing for a restful night’s sleep.

At day’s end, repeat this process as you look back and review your day. What stands out? Are there any specific moments you would like to savor? Other moments you would change if you could? Moments when you made progress in the direction of your

141 important priorities? Moments when you got in your own way? Reviewing your life one day at a time in this manner can yield valuable discoveries and help you make desired changes.

15. Sweet Small Simple Step

For this practice, choose one goal to focus on. Begin Havening (Either self- or facilitated). As you reflect on your chosen goal, what single sweet small simple step can you take to move forward? As you gain clarity on this one step, write it down and commit to taking action.

142

143

HAVENING CASE STORIES

144

Havening Case Stories

“The coach didn’t care if I couldn’t read.”

Robert (not his real name) was telling me why he lost his job as a manager at the manufacturing plant. He was nearing fifty and was really worried. He needed to get another job to support his family. He’s been freelancing for the past few years, but the hard manual labor of his maintenance work is starting to wear him down.

Robert desperately wants to get back in the job market but he’s afraid of another failure. ‘I just couldn’t get the paperwork done. I’d gotten all these promotions with more and more responsibility and I just choked. Every time I would have to read or write something, I would freeze. Eventually I got so far behind that they had to let me go. I was a good manager, really good with the people. But the paperwork did me in. I know what the real problem is. I just keep on getting by with the bare minimum. I cheat even when I don’t need to. I’m always afraid of being found out. And I can’t learn. I just can’t learn things. It’s the reading. See, when I was in school, the coach, he just always let me get by. I was a good football player, and he told me that was what really mattered, that I would get a great scholarship and go to the pros in no time. I didn’t have to worry about those silly classes. I just needed to take care of business on the football field and everything else would take care of itself. He went to my teachers and got them to pass me when I didn’t deserve to pass. That was wrong. He didn’t do me right. I know that now. He cheated me out of my life by letting me get away with things. And he’s long gone now, I can’t go back and blame him. But I’m stuck. Cause now that’s just the way I am.’ So you can’t read? You can’t read at all? Not very well. I get my words all mixed up. I stammer and stutter and I don’t understand what I just read. It just goes in and right back out as doesn’t even stop in my brain. I had Robert attempt to read a passage for me. He stumbled and stuttered. After a couple of sentences, I asked him to explain what he just read. His cheeks flushed as he struggled to express his limiting understanding of the text. I had him stop right there.

145

Robert, that’s okay. You don’t need to do any more right now. Tell me how you’re feeling.

Oh it’s terrible. I feel so anxious. Just like when I was in class. So tell me more about that. Was there a specific time when something happened in class that really made you feel you couldn’t read? Think back to the first time that happened, please. Oh I don’t even need to think about it. I can feel it right now. I’m sitting in the class—I’m a senior in high school—and the teacher calls on me to read out loud. I froze right then. I just couldn’t do it. And he was standing at the front of the class just looking at me. And the class was silent. It was so embarrassing.

All right, Robert. I think I can help you release this pain. Would that be okay with you? Oh yeah if you can help me with this. That would be amazing. We began with EH on the memory. After two rounds, SUDS goes from 10 to 0. A few more rounds of HH, IH, AH and he looked like a different person. He no longer felt the embarrassment that had been his constant companion whenever he thought about reading or learning for the past 30 years. He was finally free. How do you feel now? Really relaxed. Great. Go back to that memory. What’s it like now? It doesn’t matter. It’s just something that happened. It’s over now. So let’s do some more reading. I asked him to read the same passage. He now read it naturally and flawlessly. After every three or four sentences, I asked him to paraphrase what he read, which he did easily, with zero anxiety, insecurity or tension. He was incredulous. I can’t believe it. I can read. Yes, you always could read. Your ability was just locked up underneath all that anxiety and fear. You can also learn—anything you want to learn. You’re right. I can.

146

In a few minutes, Robert’s past—and his future—transformed forever.

He is now actively seeking a new job in management, and no longer fears humiliation because of his reading skills.

Havening continues to change the world—one person at a time.

147

“I Just Can’t Stop”

My client (female, 50) began the session lamenting how tired and irritable she was feeling for the past few weeks by the end of the work day.

When asked what she might to do to become more proactive in taking care of herself so that she didn’t get to the end of the day in such a state, she responded with a sense of futility and resistance to making any productive changes in her routine. Although she knew intellectually that she needed to give herself the opportunity for rest and renewal, and had tried various techniques (like setting her cell phone alarm to go off at certain times during the day to signal time for a break), she continued to ‘barrel’ through the workday with no breaks at all, even choosing to eat lunch at her desk while working at her computer. I asked her to tune in to the resistance. Where do you feel it in your body? She responded, “it’s all in my back and spine”, as she leaned forward with tensed arms and clenched fists. “It’s like my focus narrows and I am NOT going to stop, no matter what.” I invited her to take note of this bodily sensation and the thoughts that accompanied it. Next, I had her go back in time to the very first time she could remember feeling this way. It took her approximately one minute to access the memory. She became aware of a time when she was in third grade and had been ill. Because up to that point, she had a perfect school attendance record, she argued passionately with her mother that morning and demanded that she go to school anyway. (She ended up having to come back home before school was out). What she remembered most vividly about this memory was the thought “I just can’t stop.” Her SUDS on was a 9. One EH round reduced it to a 2; cleared completely after the second round. Next, OH with her imagining going into work, taking breaks when necessary, going outside for a walk, taking lunch away from the office. These behaviors now felt natural, with no resistance. We continued by mentally rehearsing/future pacing possible scenarios, where her boss or colleagues or direct reports came to her with demands and requests and expectations, and in each case, she was able to manage these, saying no when necessary, or informing them that she would address their concerns when she returned from her break. The session for me demonstrated (once again) the role of early traumatization and how the original events continue to show up in surprising contexts. Who would have imagined that her present-moment resistance to taking a break in the middle of a hectic workday

148 was related to a belief (“I just can’t stop”) that originated with a grade school related incident over 40 years prior?

The brain’s capacity to protect can take so many fascinating guises. We all get to become Havening Sherlock Holmes!

Grief Relief

Recently I havened a woman who has been grieving the loss of her brother several months ago. She has been living on the verge of tears since his passing. After havening both the current feeling/sensation in her body (from a 10 to a 2), she surfaced another memory, prior to her brother's passing, that filled her with shame (SUDS back up to 10).

She did not desire to disclose the content, so we simply continued to haven. Once her SUDS reached 0 (after two rounds), she looked at me with an expression of astonishment, surprise and freedom. We completed the session and she left that evening feeling 'lighter than I’ve felt in years'.

I saw her the next day. She was glowing, happy, and looked five years younger.

From Agitation to Acceptance.

In the midst of our coaching session, the client realized that she had passed on her own mother's coldness and inability to bond to her own daughter. She became activated with a flood of emotions — a seemingly inconsolable grief, shame, guilt, sadness — overwhelmed by this sudden realization that she had inadvertently done to her own child as had been done to her. The predominant emotion was the shame. We began havening (the session was over the telephone, so she self-havened) — simple EH on the feelings she was experiencing. After a single round, I asked, how do you feel now about what happened with your daughter? 'At peace'. ‘I did the best I knew how, and it's not too late to change. I am loving with my grandchildren, and I am going to call my daughter to reconcile and let her know I am

149 sorry for what happened, I can't change the past, but I can be there in a new way for her from now on.'

The client remained at peace without any of the previously activated negative emotions. Such a beautiful shift and testimony not only the power of the tool, but also to the possibilities that extend outward in all directions from the individual — the opportunity for relationships and families to heal.

Case Story integrating EH and TH

Client identified a specific memory of an incident occurring at her work, causing her upset that she could not let go of. She did not reveal any specifics of what occurred.SUDS rating on the memory began at an 8-9. Round one of EH reduced the 8-9 to a 1. After the second round, the client reported a 0 emotional charge. I followed with IH.

As the client began talking, she began describing the recent work situation, and noticed herself getting somewhat upset again. I asked her how strong the upset was this time and she responded a 5. I asked her if she could increase the feeling beyond a 5 and she could not do this.

Next I asked her if she had ever felt this way before the identified memory. She responded affirmatively; in fact, she had experienced this feeling a number of times always in relationship to her mother. It became clear to the client that this current emotional response had occurred in her childhood as a response to her mother’s criticism. She was quite surprised to discover this powerful resonance with the recent incident.

Next I did a variation on the ‘Person’ TH with her. I had her think of ‘mom’ and while she kept mom’s image in her awareness, she simply spoke out loud the unfolding sequence of emotions that were evoked. She experienced/articulated many emotions, anger, sadness, confusion, relief, letting go, relaxed. She experienced a significant and positive shift and moved through layers of sadness and discomfort to a place of deeper inner freedom.

After the Person TH, the feeling of discomfort (beginning at a SUDS 5) was completely cleared, as well as the specific work situation that she brought to the session. Future pacing yielded a sense of greater confidence and clarity regarding a vocational choice she was facing. She left relieved, happy and a bit astonished with how quickly her emotions shifted.

150

Multiple Car Accidents

The client, a woman in her 50's, experienced three traumatic car accidents — age 22, 25, and 28.

She was not at fault in any, and although she had standard medical and chiropractic treatment in all three cases, still suffered from chronic pain, anxiety, and particularly fear/defensive rage when driving in the rain at night (the worst of the accidents occurred on a rainy evening on the highway. After EH the three accidents (starting with the first), SUDS now 0, I had her retell the stories of all three accidents. She told the first two stories with no emotional charge, but while telling the third story she felt a grabbing in her solar plexus. This was related to driving at night in the rain and fear of other drivers. She rated it a SUDS 4. I asked her if she could increase it, and immediately she said yes - to an 8. (Revealing a new aspect of the trauma.) After EH this (body sensation, connected to this fear of driving at night in the rain), and retelling the story with zero charge, she notices her chronic back and shoulder tightness/pain (previously a 5-6 on the SUDS scale) is gone for the first time in several years. She also reports a sense of greater ease in her body. Upon imagining driving at night in the rain now, she reports a sense of focused, alert ease minus any sense of fear/rage. Once again, a beautiful testimony to the power of Havening and to the inner and outer transformation that occurs as a result of delinking trauma. Her landscape has now shifted into greater resilience so that should she experience an accident in the future, her recovery would not bear the burden of the previous traumatic events (as it did in accidents #2 and 3).

151

Multiple Addictive Behaviors

This young man, 24 years old, had been acting out for a number of years with thrill- seeking, addictive and aggressive behaviors that didn’t serve himself or others. He also was smoking marijuana frequently to anesthetize his pain. His behavior could be described as macho posturing, but underneath I sensed a very different story.

We spent a few hours together over two separate sessions, and I mostly listened, built rapport, asked questions. In a follow-up email, he responded that he gained more insights in our conversations than in all his years of therapy put together. I took this as a good sign and invited him, the next time we connected, to work together on clearing his compulsion towards these impulsive behaviors that continued to land him in trouble. I had him explore the feelings underneath the urge to prove himself worthy through thrill- seeking, asking him to go back in his mind and awareness to the moments before he would act out, and describe what he felt. He immediately shifted physiology and I asked what was going on. He begin to share a litany of experiences during his elementary and middle school days of virulent anti-Semitism, in which he was mercilessly teased and called names and exposed to some physical violence as well. “So what are you feeling when you think of those things?” I inquired. “Shame, guilt, hurt— which is strongest?” “Hurt,” he responded. Next, I asked him to imagine taking all the hurt out of his body and placing it on the other side of the room. As he did this, he commented, “It’s way too big for the room’. So we ‘placed’ it outside. The hurt took a form that was about 20 feet in diameter, a ‘gross’ (his words) huge image of pulsating, oozing darkness, which he called ‘the motherf——er’. The potency of the emotional charge? ‘A 10 plus’. We began Event Self-Havening. After one round on this image, the SUDS reduced to a 4; the next round brought it to a 2, and new emotions emerged to clear—anger, panic— which we also cleared. Now the image was gone, and he commented “I feel more peaceful than I can ever remember—except when stoned.” He also volunteered the insight ‘I could totally do without weed if I could access this state consistently’. His final comment: ‘the anger’s totally gone. I haven’t ever felt like this.’ We future paced him in various situations that would have in the past triggered one or more of the thrill-seeking destructive behaviors, and for the first time in years, he felt no urge, no compulsion, no emotional trigger, no desire to move forward with any of them. I don’t know if I will see him again—I met with him as a personal favor to a colleague— and he’s on his way out of town for a while—and, I was struck (once again) at the power

152 of a traumatization (or series of traumatizations) to mold and shape behavior. It does seem, at least from this juncture, that many of his impulsive, thrill-seeking and self- destructive behaviors stemmed from the desire to avoid this intense feeling of hurt that he had been carrying for so long. I wonder how many of those who fill our nation’s prisons are like this young man, simply doing the best they know to run away from a hurt that, if depotentiated, might bring them both internal and external freedom beyond their fondest hopes and dreams.

(Update: I received an email from this young man approximately 18 months after our session. He reported that he is now enrolled in graduate school and has not repeated these behaviors since our session.)

HOPE goes a long way!

153

Personal Self-Havening

I awakened at 3AM that morning in a state of near-panic. I could not stop thinking about my financial situation. I was experiencing a cash-flow crunch. This had happened before, a number of times over the years; it’s a consequence of self-employment. I had recently taken on a personal assistant full time and the corresponding additional expense, plus I was near the culmination of a project that required substantial front-end funding for several months. The project was scheduled to pay off in a few weeks, and, in the meantime, things were a bit tight.

But my reaction was far out of proportion to the actual facts in front of me. In fact, I had faced much greater cash-flow issues years ago, when I was wrestling with chronic illness. Back then, I couldn’t depend on my body and brain to function well enough to deliver on my commitments, so my entire world was much more filled with uncertainty. These days, my health was great, my income prospects better than ever, and the cash flow situation definitely temporary. So why was I freaking out? I could feel my heart and my thoughts racing. I was on the verge of a full-fledged panic attack. I hadn’t even had a panic attack in a least a decade. I used to have then frequently; a consequence of adrenal exhaustion. But this one wasn’t sourced from a physical problem. I was freaking out about cash flow. I sit up on the side of the bed. Okay, here’s an opportunity to use what I know. I immediately began self-havening. I didn’t check my SUDS in advance, but it was at least a 9. Count down 20 to 1. Walk on the beach. What do I see/hear/feel/notice? 1 to 20 things. Hum Mary Had A Little Lamb. Okay. Down to a SUDS 7. Not too much of a change. So where is this feeling coming from? I float back. I remember a day when I’m about 22 years old. My wife at the time (now ex) was perpetually anxious about money. She couldn’t keep a job, so she (and her daughter from a prior marriage) were totally dependent on my income. Because of her own history with money, she would often become highly agitated whenever faced with any degree of financial uncertainty. On this particular day, we received a phone bill that was overdue. Somehow this triggered a full-scale panic for her, and she actually came to my work (I was a teacher at the time) at the end of the day to confront me about this overdue bill. Now I can see that the anxiety and humiliation and fear associated with this memory encoded it traumatically in my brain, and this decades-ago experience was at the root of my 3 AM panic in 2016.

154

Okay. Let’s keep havening. Count 20 flowers in the garden. Spell RELAX—forwards and backwards. Same with DELIGHT. Then AMAZING. Count down from 100-1 by 4’s while reciting the alphabet forward (I need complex counting tasks like this to keep my mind focused, otherwise it goes back to the fear). Hum Take Me Out to The Ball Game.

How do I feel? SUDS 3. Great. This is really working. Wow. This must be how my clients feel. I rarely get triggered this much anymore, and I’ve done a lot of work on my own landscape to habituate feelings of calm, and inner balance, so I think I forgot how intense this can be. Another round. Walking around the neighborhood in my imagination and naming 20 things I see. Name 3 foods beginning with E. Egg, Eggplant, Egg Salad. F. Food, French Fries, Feta. G. Okay, enough of that. SUDS 2. That’s enough for now. I’m going back to sleep. I lay down in bed, repeating a calming affirmation. I fall asleep. I wake at 6:14 A.M., approximately three hours later. I‘m feeling pretty good, pretty calm, at ease. I think back to my cash flow situation. No inner stress response. None. I search for that panic, fear, anxiousness. It’s not there. I listen to my pulse. It’s slowed down, heart beating at a normal rate. I review every detail I can recall of that old memory. No response. It’s just something that happened long ago. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I think of my ex. She was just reacting out of her history of traumatization and constant financial insecurity. I actually feel ok. I had been ruminating about this cash-flow issue for a few days now, no major anxiety, but a mild state of worry. Now all of that was gone. I keep looking for it for a few minutes, just to make sure, because I’m a little surprised. Nope, it’s gone. This stuff really works.

calm

155

Integrating various Protocols into a single session, including RH, TH, EH, IH, and AH

She imagined the relative sitting before her and immediately experienced a wave of intense negative emotion. We began transpirational Havening, which continued for several minutes. She cycled through a wide variety of emotions — sad, angry, confused, frustrated, regret, lost, hopeless, helpless, sad.

Because the client seemed to get ‘stuck’ in a loop of these intense emotions, after about 15 minutes I had her pause, take a breath, and check into what she was experiencing. She reported a specific incident/scenario that was particularly troubling for her. At this point we began Event Havening, bringing her into a number of distractions that evoked a positive emotional tone — walking in a favorite place in nature, singing favorite songs, preparing a favorite meal.

After 3 rounds of EH, she reported a 0 SUDS when thinking about the specific memory that had surfaced. When I had her go back and envision the relative, she immediately became very sad once again. I inquired into what triggered the sadness and she mentioned regret about he past behavior with this relative. We then begin TH once again focusing on the word ‘regret’.

Once again she released a variety of emotions — regret, sad, helpless, angry (at self), grief, eventually finding herself in a neutral place. Once again, I had her imagine the relative there in front of her, and once again, more sadness emerged.

Inquiring into the source of this emotion, she once again mentioned a specific memory that had come into her awareness. I asked her to stay with the feeling that had surfaced and asked if she ever had that feeling before. She said ‘oh yes — its just how I felt when my ex-husband did —————- (a specific abusive action that her ex repeated over a period of several years).

156

I once again had her imagine the relative in front of her, speaking in the tone of voice and doing the behaviors that previously caused such distress. This time the response was neutral.

We continued with IH and AH to help her access and activate positive emotions and states — calm, clarity, joy, peace. This case represents the skillful integration of TH into the larger context of a given session. As you gain experience and expertise with EH and TH, you will often find that your most effective and efficient results come from integrating both tools.

157

Case Story: Imaginal Role Havening with a younger aspect

I was working with a client this weekend who has been trapped in a repeated cycle of grief and sadness for years. He’s done loads of personal growth work, but this one pattern has continued to persist.

This was our fourth session and he has already cleared quite a bit of trauma resulting in part from a very vulnerable landscape. Midway through our session he noticed how he was beginning to slip into this familiar pattern once again.

I invited him to tune in to the age when first felt this way. He immediately became aware of an inner image of himself as a young boy, about 8 years old, sitting slumped over and quite despondent.

Normally, I might have asked him more about an originating event, but since I knew his history pretty well (there were many incidents prior to age 8 that might have served as originating traumatizations), and my intuition insisted on moving in a different direction, I chose not to search further in this moment. I trusted that his subconscious had revealed this specific image for a reason.

Instead, I invited him to tune in more clearly to the little boy. Describe him to me. What’s he wearing? Is the room familiar? And so on.

Next I was inspired to try a technique that has its origins in EFT called Matrix Reimprinting, whereby the person actually imagines that they—as their current, fully resourced adult self, enter into the imaginal realm (the ‘matrix’) to actually communicate with the younger self and help this younger aspect of themselves to heal. This is similar to inner child dialogues, with one distinction which I will describe in a moment.

I invited the client to begin self-havening, and then to, in his imagination, enter into the room where his younger self was sitting despondently.

Next, I had him to greet his younger self, explain that he was visiting from the future and was there to help him feel better, and ask if that was okay. He received an affirmative response, and (in the imagination) sat down right across from his younger self.

I next invited him to tell his younger self that he had just learned this really cool thing called havening, which was amazing at helping people feel better. Would he like to try it? The younger self shrugged, ‘sure’.

So here’s the fun part. I had my client imagine that he was havening his younger self. I guided him through the process step by step and he imagined applying havening touch

158 to his little boy, taking him through the various distraction techniques, then checking the response afterwards.

The result? After a single round of ‘inner havening’, the younger self looked around, then looked up at his adult self with a big smile and gave him a hug!

I invited my client to ask his younger self if there was anything else he needed right now, and the younger self responded, ‘Nope, I’m good. Thanks! The boy proceeded to get up, go over to a table, pick up a coloring book and start coloring.

I had my client continue to self-haven and ‘hang out’ in this imaginal scenario for a little while longer. When I asked him what was happening now, he reported that his younger self had finished coloring and had hugged him goodbye, then walked away.

Returning now to the present moment, my client scanned for the experience of sadness and grief and could no longer access the feeling. We next tested by having him imagine specific scenarios and images that had triggered this pattern in the past and he reported no emotional charge.

I will have the opportunity to work with him again next week to follow up on what he has noticed since the session. If necessary, we may also dive more deeply into earlier events that likely kindled this response.

In classic Matrix Reimprinting, the current self goes ‘back’ imaginally to heal the traumatized self, which happens through the current self actually tapping with the traumatized self, using standard tapping protocols. In other words, the traumatized self becomes the ‘client’—and the here-now client becomes the facilitator. (Sounds more complicated than it actually is)

Once this occurs in this imaginal reality, depotentiation occurs.

What was really interesting to me is to note that simply substituting Havening for the tapping worked. Both aspects —the young boy lost in grief, and the adult—were healed.

Another example of how Havening can be integrated with existing complementary modalities.

159

Case Story: Use of Havening touch in a client's dialogue with her inner child

My experience of Havening touch is that it can deepen and facilitate direct access to unconscious processes and thereby allow the client to more easily participate in their own healing process.

I had a client earlier this week who felt that she had some kind of block to fully receiving love, from her intimate partner, from her family and friends, from the Divine (as she understands and describes it).

As we dialogued during the first few minutes of the session, she described this inability to receive as a ‘broken heart—with a crack right down the middle’.

As she began self-havening, I invited her to become fully present to the feeling/sensation of this broken heart and travel back in time to the very first time she experienced this feeling/sensation.

She saw herself as a baby, crying, upset, feeling abandoned.

After one round of EH, when she returned to the image of the baby, it was no longer upset, simply sad.

We continued with EH (including the distractions) and then I simply had her speak words of loving acceptance and safety to the baby: ‘I love you. I’m here for you. You are safe. I’ll always be here for you (This is a variation on RH, wherein the client is actually embodying this role in support of a younger aspect of herself).

We paused, and she reported that the baby now looked peaceful and more content. Intuition next led me to have her continue to Haven while speaking the simple four-part prayer from the Huna tradition referred to as ho’ponopono: ‘I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.’

My experience with this prayer in varying contexts has been generally positive. The client simply continued to Self-haven while speaking this prayer out loud to the baby. We paused, and the client now reported that the baby was smiling and giggling, with blushing red cheeks.

Continuing to Self-haven, I now invited to client to enter into the scene and simply share her love with the baby in whatever manner felt safe and appropriate for them both.

160

She picked the baby up and held her, reporting that she felt now felt a seamless interchange and flow of love between the two of them. Next I had her merge with the baby, taking the baby into her heart.

We continued with OH, as she imagined moving into her future. She commented, ‘It’s like everything is loving and caressing me now, so that when it comes in from others, that’s like extra love.’.

She reported feeling supported by life and not craving for anything outside of herself to fulfill her.

This session reinforced even more powerfully for me the power of Havening Touch in conjunction with various processes for assisting the client in connecting more fully with previously abandoned/neglected parts of themselves.

Since there are so many therapeutic approaches that work within this kind of framework— inner child work, internal family systems, Matrix Reimprinting, and more—the possibility of skillful and widespread adaptation/integration of Havening within the context of these complementary therapies is particularly exciting and inspiring.

161

Havening for Building Positivity and Resilience — Self-Havening to the Rescue

Recently I was sitting with an acquaintance in a park nearby my home. He was feeling troubled because of a personal situation that had recently brought him a great deal of distress.

We had just taken a 45-minute walk, and we had only 15 minutes remaining to be together.

I introduced the basics of Havening to him, shared the importance of building a more resilient neurochemical landscape, and invited him to Self-Haven for our few remaining minutes together:

“Hey, I’d like to show you something that can help you relax and feel better. Would you like to try it?”

We sat there, under a tree, each self-havening silently for perhaps 4 minutes. He looked at me with wide-eyed astonishment. 'I feel so good!' "it's like all that stress and heaviness I've been carrying has started to melt away”.

He's committed to a few moments of Self-Havening each day, and excited to learn more.

162

Havening for Building Positivity and Resilience — Applications of Havening Touch® for Couples

I have a couple who I have been working with to help them restore their marriage. They have been together for 23 years and have faced some pretty significant crises, including a major infidelity/betrayal, and, they are both very much committed to moving through all of this, fully releasing the past, and co-creating a beautiful future together.

They both come from homes in which physical affection did not happen a lot, so they both have had difficulty truly bonding on the physical level. I work with them individually and as a couple, and during Wednesday's couple's session, during our conversation about bonding, affection and touch, I had the intuition to have them haven one another (I use havening with them regularly to clear issues, to shift beliefs, and to rehearse new behaviors).

They took turns applying havening touch to one another, then supplemented the touch with affirmations of affection, connection, and self-acceptance. The 10 minutes we devoted to them havening each other in this very basic, simple way shifted their relationship profoundly before my eyes.

I invited them to make this a regular practice -- havening touch plus words of loving acceptance, appreciation, affirmation, and affection. There are SO many ways to apply this basic phenomenon whereby HT increases Delta Waves, thereby increasing production of the calming and safety neurotransmitters.

This alone -- the simple application of Havening Touch with or without any other processing -- is so valuable.

Self-acceptance Havening

I have been teaching my clients a simple practice to increase landscape resilience. They begin with havening touch, then speak out loud a simple self-acceptance affirmation, similar to the ‘set up- phrase used in TFT (Thought Field Therapy) EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and other ‘energy psychology’ modalities.

The sentence template is this: ‘Even though [current reality/perception/issue], I choose to remember [affirmation of self-acceptance]’. For example, ‘even though I am feeling really frustrated right now, I choose to remember that I’m a good person’. Or ‘Even though I wish I didn’t have to go to work today, I choose to remember that I can love and accept myself right now.

163

Or, ‘Even though I am disappointed that s/he said ‘no’ when I asked him/her out, I choose to remember that I’m still worthy of love’.

The havening touch is applied continually throughout the process. I have begun to do this as a regular practice for myself at least once per day, and recommend the same to my clients.

Using client ‘problem metaphors’ in Havening

Havening can deepen, enhance, amplify the efficacy of other tools and modalities.

I am particularly fascinated with exploring something that is proving to be a most interesting and powerful application — that is, the use of metaphor.

For example, the case described earlier, regarding the young man with impulse-control issues used a technique that I have been using for several years in my EFT-based work (although this particular technique is not generally a part of mainstream EFT training, which lags a decade or so behind some of the more significant innovations). This simple technique uses metaphor to assist in the process of helping the client with whatever issue they bring.

The client imagines taking the discomfort they are experiencing out of their body and depositing it somewhere outside of them — perhaps in the room where we are working, perhaps outside, perhaps miles away, depending on the size, intensity and other dimensions of the imagined object.

As you might imagine, the metaphors clients come up with are enormously varied, ranging from piles of trash (or manure), dirty laundry, pulsating globs of gelatinous material, or stacks of wood or sticks. Sometimes the metaphor appears with some degree of sentience, with glowing evil eyes or a feeling-tone of disgust.

Once the metaphor is articulated and calibrated (I elicit size, shape, color, smell, distance from the object, etc), and safe boundaries established (sometimes it’s necessary to place the object further away, or to construct an imagined invisible ‘wall’ through which none of the object’s energy can leak, or to have the client access whatever images of safety best support them (these could be totem objects, spiritual images, or the imagined presence of loved ones/allies), the process of clearing begins and is complete when the object either dissolves or transforms into a positive, generative symbol.

For example, a pile of manure might transform into a garden of flowers. Or it might simply vanish, leaving an empty space.

164

This is one of several tools I’ve learned that use metaphor to activate and depotentiate a limiting belief or emotional trigger where it might not be optimal or time-efficient to seek a specific event (although specific events can sometimes surface during the process).

What I discovered in my years of EFT work was that often, working directly with the client’s imagery could cut through to the core of the issue and resolve it relatively quickly.

What I am noticing is that Havening this metaphorical image-gestalt can work very quickly and powerfully. As in TH, it appears that many if not all of the memories associated with the particular issue get transformed at the same time.

I’m curious about the neurobiology of this process. I’d love to learn more about exactly how metaphor can encompass and help to clear so many related memories/beliefs at one time.

Integration of Havening touch to work with client’s metaphorical representation of the presenting problem

G. (female, 25) is feeling stuck. She is 2/3 of the way through a 21-day fitness and nutrition challenge which she is doing along with a friend, and feels that she keeps hitting a wall in terms of her motivation.

This is not a new pattern for her. She describes that she often ‘hits a wall’ when she’s partway through any challenge that relates to her food and nutrition habits.

(G is a former college student of mine who I have kept in touch and also collaborated with on several occasions, so I know her well. We also only have 20 minutes to work, so my slightly unusual approach to helping her was completely guided by intuition.)

When she mentions the wall, she gestures, her left hand rising, palms out, as though she is pushing up against something.

I ask her to tell me more about this wall. Where is it?

‘It’s right in front of me’ (describing with her hands a space extending from above her head nearly to the ground).

What color is it? Gray.

Okay. How thick? About two feet, I think.

And how high does it reach? It goes up at least two feet above my head.

And how low? Just about to the ankles.

165

So it doesn’t quite extend to the floor? No.

All right. How far off to either side does it go?

It’s about three feet on each side.

Wow, that’s a pretty big wall. What’s it made out of?

Concrete.

Wow. No wonder you’ve been feeling challenged. So let me ask you a question. Who are your spiritual allies that you like to call on, who might be able to help us out with this? (I kew she would respond to this question because of our previous work together, her visual processing style and her vivid creative imagination)

She thought for a moment.

There’s three of them. Athena, Aphrodite, and Artemis.

Great. So call all three into your awareness. Now let’s have a conference with these three — a strategy meeting where you ask them what they suggest you do about this.

With eyes closed, she enters into this conversation in her imagination.

Approximately three minutes later, she says, okay.

Great. What insights came to you?

Well, Athena reminded me that I need to think of it only one day at a time, like when I am running a marathon. I don’t think of the whole distance — that would be overwhelming. I just focus on making one mile at a time.

Artemis suggested I talk it over with S and let her know I’m having a hard time, instead of keeping it to myself.

And Aphrodite told me to stop resisting the fact that it is hard — then I’ll be able to slide right under the wall!

Wonderful. That’s great advice. Now let’s go back and check the wall.

It’s less thick now — down to about 6 inches. And it’s not quite as tall or wide.

Next we began havening touch. (I read a post on the Havening FB group that mentioned a strategy of using three distractions per round, and also noted Carol’s recent description

166 of havening the young woman whose condition prohibited the longer step by step process, so I decided to experiment a bit, since we only had about ten more minutes.)

I had her self-haven and while havening: 1) told her four knock knock jokes in succession (in which she responded in the traditional fashion: knock knock/who’s there/boo/boo who/what are you crying for?/etc); 2) had her spell the word ‘fabulous’ forwards, then backwards; and 3) asked her to imagine going for a run along her favorite path, describing out loud 13 specific things she saw/felt or noticed along the way.

We paused and checked the wall. It was both smaller and less thick.

We returned to self-havening. Next I had her take a couple of deep breaths, imagining her favorite fragrance.

Next I began playing an audio track of Pharrell Williams’ song Happy. As the song began, I asked her to imagine a crowd of Minions (from the movie Despicable Me) dancing and to describe their dance moves out loud.

As she listened to the song, and continued to haven, describing the Minion’s antics, I invited her to ask them to help with the wall. She reported that the Minions were delighted to help (‘they love demolishing things’), and they began tearing down the remaining wall as she continued to self-haven.

When she reported that the wall was gone, she noticed a small degree of anxiety remaining in her stomach, which quickly dissolved. Next, we moved into IH, then AH, followed by OH, where she imagined herself following through and successfully completing the challenge.

Carol Robertson inspired me in our very first Skype conversation to use my sensory acuity more and also to collect positive ‘anchors’ in a variety of sensory modalities (VAKGO) as well as various contexts, so that I gather a virtual ‘library’ of the client’s positive experiences that I can incorporate into the potentiation/depotentiation process.

The more I explore this idea, using the client’s own positive, humorous, pleasant, inspiring experiences during the ‘distraction’ phase, the more interesting, exciting and fun I notice the work becomes both for myself and for the client.

167

Interesting experience with a client wherein it took several steps to finally get to the core traumatic memory

My client, a married woman with two young children, came into our session today burdened by a recurring dream that she has been having for at least 12 years. In this dream, she is in a room attempting to sleep when an ominous and threatening presence appears and then she wakes up in a panic. She feels that this dream might be an indicator of something that actually happened to her and is wondering if she has PTSD. She doesn’t currently have any conscious memories that carry the same resonance as the dream. We begin by having her imagine a notebook containing a record of all the dreams, filled with her feelings, thoughts and responses to the dream experience. This notebook appears to be quite thick, stuffed actually, with the ends of pages sticking out. She rates the energy inside the book a 10. I have her construct an imaginary invisible barrier between her and the book so that none of its energy can touch her. We begin EH and within three rounds the notebook image has diminished and dissolved into an image of a ‘calm river’. She cannot bring the image back and reports a SUDS of 0. She now notices another feeling beginning to arise — a feeling of shame and self-blame for a recent incident involving her son’s school. This feeling she rates as a 7. We begin TH. For approximately 10 minutes, she expresses a chain of strong negative feelings: anger >embarrassment >guilt>shame >guilt>betrayal >abandonment>anxiety>fear>guilt>shame>anxiety>finally shifting to calm>calm. Followed this with several rounds of IH and AH around feeling safe and being enough. She spontaneously begins speaking affirmations which I reflect back to her in second person (“I can take care of my family/you can take care of your family, etc). We move next to Hopeful Havening. Next, I have her return to the original scenario regarding her son — no charge. Then I ask her to return to the dream feeling, which she is now able to bring back up to a SUDS 4. (I had an intuition early in the session that there was, in fact, a core event preceding the dreams, and so was not discouraged by the apparent return of the emotional charge) Next, we track that back to the very first time she experienced that feeling. Now a clear memory emerges, and she now feels it at a solid SUDS 7. Two rounds of EH depotentiate this traumatic memory. I have her check the memory — she responds she can no longer feel it; the image has faded and she can’t bring it back. Next I ask her to return to the dream scenarios. Once again, she can no longer access the feeling. 168

I ask “what is the single most important quality or feeling you want to experience more of now?” She responds ‘trust’. “Trust in myself and trust in God”. Rounds of IH and AH focusing on trust conclude our session. One more person whose burden is lighter now thanks to Havening. Next week I will discover if the dreams have recurred. I suspect she will sleep soundly.

Healing Relationship Pain and Suffering

A woman had been deeply hurt as a result of her fiancé’s abandonment and sudden breakup after being together for 10 years.

After she went on for quite some time sharing the story in all of its multiple aspects, I had her elicit an image that represented all the pain and suffering associated with her now ex-fiance.

"It’s a huge black cloud that completely covers the sky."

We began event havening. She identified the beach as her favorite, most safe place in nature, so we started there with the distraction phase, and then moved on to other distractions. After two complete rounds, there now appeared patches of blue sky with the cloud still predominant. She described it as 92% cloud, 8% sky.

As we continued havening for this third round, I had her imagine being back on the beach, this time to talk a walk. I had her describe everything she saw, felt, heard, experienced while walking along, until she decided to get in the water to feel the waves.

Interspersing suggestions that the gentle rising and falling of the ocean waves was washing away the pain, we continued this extended beach journey for about 15 minutes.

I noticed that she responded powerfully (deeper, slower breathing, more color in the cheeks, relaxed shoulders, etc) to the extended beach imagery and to the suggestion of waves washing away emotional pain.

We came to a place of silence while continuing havening touch. I instructed her to simply rest at the beach in this place of safety, calm, ease, and comfort, allowing the waves to gently continue to wash away every remaining bit of dark,cloudy pain.

She now reported that the sky was clear and no cloud remained.

She also shared that she has a recurring dream of being at a beach during a tsunami. There is no fear associated with this dream, rather just a sense of the power of the massive waves. She began referencing this image as we were havening, imagining these huge waves completely encompassing and dissolving the clouds.

169

I had her return to the image of her ex fiancé. She reported no emotional charge, but did begin to link his behavior with other relationships and began to see her own pattern of passivity in relation to men, beginning with her own father.

Continued rounds (Flow Havening, IH, AH) allowed her to come to a place of emotional freedom and a sense of reclaiming her power to set boundaries and take charge of her own life.

When we checked the work by having her imagine the ex fiancé and the various scenarios that she previously felt compelled to dwell on, she reported no emotional charge (SUDS = 0) and no desire to talk or think about him anymore!

What I found interesting in this case — simply taking the time for her to fully enter into the internal reality of the beach while continuing Havening touch, applying gentle suggestion linking her metaphors — waves and the cloud, silent Havening while she contented to allow the process to unfold organically and naturally.

Also, my intuition guided me not to begin with Person TH (the seemingly obvious choice) in this case because of her degree of emotional upset. Working metaphorically in this case seemed to allow her to depotentiate the trauma in a gentle manner.

170

Multiple Session Case Stories

Case One: Recurring Argument Relationship Stress

A client came in with a SUDS level of 7.5 around a recurring argument that has recently flared up again between she and her husband. She feels heavy in her chest, and is so upset with him that she feels she could not have a clean conversation with him about this issue.

We did one round of EH on their recent argument which took the charge down to 5.5. Then, she tuned into the remaining feeling and spoke what she felt there, feeling the heaviness in her chest lighten as she did so. Finally, we used IH and AH to increase her felt sense of the qualities of power, freedom and adventure, the three qualities she said would help her best at the moment with this situation. Her SUDS goes down to a 4, and she feels much better.

Client has the insight that she needs to go dance and move in order to let go of the remaining stress, but even at a 4, she reports feeling calm and like she could talk with her husband without feeling stuck. She feels more connected to those three qualities, and is confident she can resolve the issue they were having from a place of love. This session was content-free and took 45 minutes.

One week later:

Client comes in to say that since our last session, her relationship with her husband had mostly been good around the re-occurring issue that they had been dealing with. However, she was worried that it would come back around again and she would get upset in the future when it did. She wanted to break the cycle this issue had over her for good.

We start off having her float back to the very first time she and her husband had this argument and she felt stressed about it. It had a charge of a 5. She then constructed a photo album of all the times that they’d had this discussion and it had been stressful, and it too was a 5.

We used EH to take the album from a 5 to a 3, and then IH and AH to take it to a 0. We tested the original memory and the thought of the issue coming up in the future to see if there was a remaining charge and there was not.

I asked “Can you get any of the stressful charge back?”

She could get it back at a one, so we did one last round of Havening and it cleared for good. At the end, the client felt excited and creative in relationship to her husband and this issue, and ready to make new choices. Her photo album symbol had turned into one with only positive memories.

171

Case Two: Relaxing Relationship Stress & Overwhelm

Client wants to feel more free and relaxed in her relationships, not anxious about what people are thinking of her. She has also noticed that when she has many things on her mind, she can feel overwhelmed and crowded in her thinking. When this happens, she can lash out at others, mainly her loved ones. She wants to be better about responding rather than reacting when she feels overwhelmed, and to let go of any stress around what are people thinking of her.

In this session we only had 30 minutes, so we chose to focus on the specific issue of overwhelm and lashing out. She created a photo album of all the times she had done this. It had a charge of 5. We did one round of EH on the photo album and it came up that the main emotion within it was guilt. At that point, rather than going into TH (because we only had about 15 minutes left), we did several quick rounds of IH and AH, which helped her release the charge to a 2.

We had 5 minutes left at this point, but the client, who was really feeling the speed of the change in her brain, said she wanted to stop here. She reported that anytime she does brain change work, she gets a headache and she could feel one starting and that she needed to rest and give the shift time to integrate. I honored her request and we completed the session there.

One week later:

Client came in for a second session ready to release it all. I asked her “If your issue were a place in space and time, what would it look like?”

We did one round of EH on the place she imagined, which took her SUDS of this symbol from a 10 to a 3. Then, she did a float back using the feeling in her body that this “what do people think about me” stress created to find her earliest memory of it.

She remembered being in middle school, and being bullied by some other girls. We had her stop the scene and imagine her adult self travelling across time and space to that moment to support her younger self (RH). She took some minutes to comfort her younger self, telling her that she was strong and worthy just as she is, that she would never be alone, that she can be confident, and she doesn’t have to worry about those girls anymore. The client reported that her younger self grew instantly stronger and more resilient hearing these words and knowing she was not alone, and was ready to go back into her school.

Last but not least, the client used OH to imagine a video of her younger self growing up and going through all the experiences around relationships that had formed her—but with the advice of her adult self ringing in her ears. Her younger self travelled through life 172 more confident in herself and had different experiences of relationship as a result. When in the video the younger self became the same age as the client is presently, the client imagined stepping into the video and merging with this alternate version of herself.

The client reported that her SUDS was at a 0. She tried to bring the charge back and was surprised and delighted to find that she simply could not be stressed about those past experiences if she tried.

We also tested her future by having her imagine social situations that would have stressed her out in the past. She reported feeling much less anxious, but more relaxed and open. She also had no headache at the end of the session this time. Since then, she has felt a new sense of ease in her relationships which was not previously present, and, she is better able to respond rather than react when overwhelmed.

173

A Personal Self-Havening Story

In a recent webinar offered to graduates of the Havening Techniques® 2-day training, we discussed the importance of gaining personal experience with self-havening, since this both builds our confidence in the method and also helps us understand how it works on a personal level. When you get to know top Haveners, they usually mention this as a key aspect of their journey towards ever-greater mastery of these powerful tools.

In the spirit of our webinar conversation, I promised to share one particularly poignant and powerful example of my own self-havening journey.

To set a bit of context — this event occurred on Saturday, January 28, 2017 — during the first Havening training I hosted in my hometown of Louisville, Kentucky. I was in front of the room, presenting, with BOTH Drs. Ruden in the audience. This was the final step in my Havening Trainer Certification process. And I experienced a total amygdala hijack moment in the front of the training room.

I hope you enjoy the story — and what it reveals about the power of Self-Havening!

From Trauma to Triumph (A True Story) By Harry Pickens

All I could see was that damn clicker. The light on the side would turn green when you pressed it. At least it was supposed to.

But I pressed it. Nothing. Pressed it again.

No luck.

Then I tried pressing the other side, over on the left. Green light on — and the computer goes to the previous slide.

I cannot believe this is happening. It was bad enough to realize I could’t even see well enough to read the 48-point font on the screen. You see, I had cataracts in both eyes (with corrective surgery scheduled soon), and although I was wearing my reading glasses that day, my long distance pair was in the car. And after all, I thought I was seeing pretty well.

But here was the problem. I had not done a powerpoint based presentation in more than a year.

174

And here we were — day one of the Louisville Havening training. 10 AM. The first science slide show of the training.

And here I am at the front of the room, with none other than Dr Ronald Ruden, inventor of Havening, and Dr Steven Ruden, educational director of Havening Research, sitting in the back row, observing every moment of my imminent meltdown.

For the next 45 minutes, I stumble and stammer through the 26 slides. Sometimes I simply have the audience read them silently, because I have no idea what is written on the screen. Of course, I’ve reviewed the slides, and know the material cold; and, in my state of amygdala hijack, I find myself forgetting that which I just rehearsed and reviewed the night before.

I’m also feeling rushed.

You see, I’ve designed this training for maximal learner involvement and minimal lecture. That means this portion is one of the most important didactic sections of the entire two days.

And Amy Amygdala has taken over my brain.

I notice two versions of me existing simultaneously. Me number one is standing in front of this group stumbling through my presentation. Me number two is freaking out. “This stinks. I can’t believe tis is happening. This is so bad. I’m stuttering. That’s it. I’m going to lose my certification. I can’t believe it. I have totally messed up this opportunity. Dammit.”

My hands become cold and clammy, my heart races, my breath shallow. And, you know how when you are triggered, your peripheral vision narrows and you become less aware of your surroundings? It was like nothing existed anymore besides the clicker in my right hand and that damn screen with those words that I couldn’t see.

After this 45-minute ordeal (it felt like 4 hours) was finally over, and the group was on break, I walked through the door behind the screen into the hall, where I attempted to haven away my anxiety.

I say attempted, because although I was going through the motions, I was also a bit hyper- vigilant, worried that someone would walk by and see me. So I just went through the motions for a couple rounds.

But the good news is this — Havening works. And simply walking through the process lowered my SUDS from a solid 9 to about a 3. By this time the break was nearly over and I had more work to do facilitating the next section.

I made it through the rest of the day, but my overall anxiety level was definitely higher than it had been when I arrived that mooring. Because I’ve done this — led workshops — so many times over the past three decades, I’m pretty good at faking it, so most people didn’t know just how badly I got hijacked by my fight/flight/freeze system that morning.

175

I was relieved to return home at the end of the day.

I wake up at 4:20 AM Sunday morning with a burning desire to do some more work on this memory. When I thought back on it, I saw in my minds eye that one scene — me looking through my own eyes at the clicker, which failed to progress the slide deck, then looking back up at the screen, realizing I could not read the words.

That was the encoding moment, as clear as day.

The event — my attempt to click the slide forward. The meaning — my sense off embarrassment, humiliation and loss of status. My future was also threatened since I was worried about losing my certification and certainly not earning the right to become a Havening Techniques trainer.

My landscape was a bit vulnerable, since I had been preparing for this event for many months, often going on 4 or 5 hours of sleep each night; plus, I was hosting the entire event, so my responsibilities involved leading from the front of the room while also making sure that everything ran smoothly both education-wise and logistics wise.

Finally my sense of inescapability was acute. For those 45 minutes, I felt trapped. I couldn’t go to the car and get my stronger pair of glasses, I couldn’t get the clicker to work consistently. I was stuck with no escape hatch.

So at 4:25 A.M. on Sunday morning, I began Event Havening. I was able to reduce the SUDS 4.5 I originally felt when I imagined that critical scene to about a 2. But I couldn’t get things to budge beyond a 2.

Hmm. Okay. Let’s try tuning in to my ‘yesterday self’. I begin asking yesterday’s self (who was still a bit stuck in anxiety and overwhelm), as I havened, what I needed to know in order to clear this. He replied, “I’m working too hard. I don’t want to do any of this anymore.”

As I continue to dialogue (Role Havening) with and observe my ‘yesterday self’, he walks out of the hotel room, catches a flight to San Diego, and goes to the beach for an indefinite vacation.

I feel a bit of relief. Maybe we’re now at a 1.5 SUDS. Minor change, but my work is not yet done.

I keep on Havening and ask my inner wisdom where to go from here. Then I become aware of a five-year old version of myself and the insight comes in as clear as a bell.

The belief I have been operating from all of these years is this — “I have to perform to be loved”. WOW. That one really hit me with a clarity and strength that was impossible to deny.

That belief structure played a huge role in my childhood. I felt as though I was an object for my family’s entertainment, and that performing was indeed my primary way of gaining their 176 attention and affection. I didn’t always feel loved just for me. Later in life, I realize that this perception was not at all true — my family adored me for ME; they were also proud of my accomplishments and enjoyed sharing them with others; but my five year old self interpreted all of this very differently.

So now I begin to dialogue (Role Havening again), with my five-year-old.

I imagine that I am bright as the sun, beaming pure love to him and begin affirming — “I love you — just like you are. You don’t need to do anything at all in order for me to love you. I love you, Little Harry. I love you. And you don’t have to perform ever again and I’ll love you just the same.”

After a few more rounds of simply speaking out loud my total and unconditional love for this part of myself, Little Harry smiles a big smile, gives me a hug, and goes away to play. I know from my training in and experience with Matrix Reimprinting, a derivation of EFT in which the client speaks words of comfort and affirmation to a younger version of themselves, that once the child goes away to play, the healing has happened.

So I now go back to the original memory to check the SUDS. This time, when I go back, the scene is there — but I’m no longer in it. I see the clicker and the projected image, but I’m not there.

There’s still a bit of a negative emotional charge, however — maybe a 1. I realize that this is related to my sense of loss of control and my lack of belief and conviction around the entire process of lecturing. I really don’t like standing in front of an audience gong through slide after slide. In general. I feel this is an antiquated model of education that has now outlived its purpose. I realized I was doing it this way because I knew the Rudens were used to the lecture format and I felt a sense of obligation — I thought that I HAD better present at least some of the material in this fashion to justify my candidacy to receive my certification as a Havening Techniques® Trainer.

But that moment was over now. It was only a memory — but a memory that still carried the negative emotional ‘charge’ of traumatic encoding. Where would I go next?

I know! I’ll redo the 45 minute presentation my way — the way I would have preferred to do it. I’ll only use five slides - each slide portraying a mind map or graphic organizer containing the key information; and, instead of me delivering a mini-lecture on each slide, I will organize an interactive activity, one for each of the five graphically-elegant and concept-rich redesigned slides.

I envision this new outcome as I continue Havening. It takes about three rounds of visualizing before this new mental movie locks in and feels real. Next I add good feelings — enthusiasm joy, humor, delight and excitement to my mental movie, ending it with a standing ovation. The entire room leaps to their feet, applauding wildly. What a triumph!

177

Now when I return to the original scene, it finally feels clear from any sense of discomfort, anxiety, or any other negative emotion, and, I now experience a positive emotional tone. And when I think back on the memory, now I see, hear, and feel my revised version, actively engaging the participants and using only the five graphically elegant, information-rich slides. I am also standing behind the podium, looking directly at the laptop screen and clicking the slides forward from the computer itself, so zero difficulty seeing or controlling the slides. This ‘memory’ portrays a totally different experience and carries a totally different energy.

Now I’m done Havening. I check the time. It’s now 5:25. I’ve been at this for a full hour. Wow.

Then the rush of gratitude comes. Not only did I re-pattern this memory, not only did I depotentiate the traumatic encoding, but now I have a fabulous story to tell at the training!

I get even more excited. This is the perfect story to tell because it demonstrates step by step how to use Havening. In fact, I used during this process six of the seven types of havening we’ve explored during the workshop: Event, Role, Hopeful, Outcome, Iffirmational and Affirmational.

I was able to fully and completely recover from an amygdala hijack that spiked all the way to a SUDS 9!

And, I not only recovered completely, I ended up grateful for the entire event because it gave me a perfect and didactically sound story that I could now tell at future Havening trainings! I can also write it up as an article or book chapter.

Plus, the best part is this: my story will ultimately serve to inspire and motivate the participants. They would observe my own vulnerability and imperfection; they would observe the practical application of these tools and techniques; they would bear witness to my total, full and complete recovery as I demonstrate the power of resilience that comes from consistently practicing and using these tools.

What a gift!

I told the story later that day, right before lunch. Nearly a dozen participants and facilitators, including the entire leadership team plus both Drs. Ruden, commented on the power of my showing up with such vulnerability and honestly and openly sharing both my story and the entire process of using Havening to turn things around.

Thanks, Havening. Once again you transformed trauma into triumph.

178

Neuroscience: Terms Directly Relevant to Understanding Havening Techniques®

Electroceuticals - The term given to psychosensory methods like Havening Techniques® which use touch to generate electrical waves that affect the brain, altering sensitivity, function and activity of organ systems. There are both general and specific psychosensory methods. They are named so because they neither use drugs (pharmaceuticals) nor talk therapy (psychotherapy). For more on psychosensory methods, see primer pages 12-14.

Emotions - For the purposes of this training, we categorize emotions into three types: Reactive, Reflective and Routine.

Reactive emotions- This is the most primal type, involving emotions like fear or defensive rage. It is quick to process in the limbic cortex of the brain, and while short term, it produces significant physiological in the body. These emotions activate the fight/flight/freeze response.

Reflective emotions- This type of emotion necessitates cognition through the prefrontal lobe and amygdala and can produce long term activation and physiological changes. Examples of reflective emotions are love, guilt, loyalty and jealousy.

Routine emotions- These emotions are sensory based, rather than reflective. They are processed in the sensory cortices and can produce physiological changes for a brief period of time. Examples of routine emotions involve happiness, worry, calm, or confidence.

Encoding - An event is considered encoded traumatically when it produces a neurochemical change in the brain that remains active unless depotentiated. Present day stimuli that act as reminders of that event and its content, complex content or context can trigger a significant reaction, because those reminders are seen through the filter of past experience. (For more on encoding, see primer page 15.)

Traumatic encoding of a memory is based on four criteria: E.M.L.I.

EMLI is an acronym for Event, Meaning, Landscape and Inescapability. Each of these criteria must be met or the event will NOT be encoded traumatically--No long-term biological change will occur. (For more on EMLI, see primer page 16-21.)

Event - What actually happened (e.g. Client’s father died he was 8)

An event can be encoded as content, complex content, context, or all of the above. Events can be first, second, or third hand accounts. To encode as traumatic, an event must produce a gamma wave of 100Hz.

179

Content - The direct threat in the event (e.g. a weapon)

Complex content- Additional details in the content not directly related to the threat (e.g. color of the clothes a threatening person is wearing)

Context - Additional details in the environment surrounding the threat (e.g. the type of trash can or ceiling tiles in the room).

Meaning - The interpretation of the event that the brain provides which involves how the event affects you in a personal, relational or public way. (e.g. “My father abandoned me.”)

Landscape - Generally speaking, the neurochemical ‘landscape’ refers to the ratio of stress hormones (adrenaline, epinephrine) to calm hormones (serotonin, GABA) currently present in the brain at the time of the event. This ratio is determined by one’s temperament, past and current experiences, and sensitivity to stress. (e.g. acute stressor “I just came home that day from being bullied on the playground,” e.g. chronic stressor “My family never has enough money to keep the heat on in the winter.”)

Inescapability - The perception--real or imagined--that there is no way out of this one, a sense of being trapped. (e.g. “I couldn’t look away.”)

Depotentiation - The electrochemical process in the brain that disrupts the amygdala pathway so a traumatic memory no longer produces an unwanted, negative emotional response (see primer pg. 32-35). Havening Techniques® does this.

Unconditioned Threat Stimuli (UTS )- These are fears that are hardwired into our subconscious, such as the fear of death or abandonment, as opposed to fears that are learned or conditioned by our experiences. UTS fears include a fear of heights, suffocation and being in pain (see Primer pg. 180).

CASE - traumatic encoding establishes linkages between the following components of a traumatically encoded event:

Cognitive- thoughts, both conscious and unconscious Autonomic- automatic brain function that controls body function Somatosensory- bodily sensations Emotional- the feeling(s) experienced

A more comprehensive glossary is included in the Havening Techniques Primer..

haveninglouisville.com [email protected] 180