AUTHORIZED COPYRIGHTED: DISTRIBUTION NOT FOR ™ By Ben Grossblatt Fine by Alex Illustrations ®

Final Buttons Final ESSENTIAL PHRASES FOR ESSENTIAL THE INTERGALACTIC TRAVELER THE INTERGALACTIC HOW TO SPEAK TO HOW KLINGON

® HOW TO SPEAK Klingon $16.95 U.S./£12.50 U.K. yIghoSDo’!* ™, ® & © 2013 CBS Studios Inc. TREK and related marks are STAR trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved. A visit to the Klingon homeworld of Kronos can can of Kronos homeworld A visit to the Klingon ruin can but nothing ways, in many be exciting a local offending than accidentally a trip faster armed combat. and ending up in with dishonor and intergalactic incident Avoid and sound this handy Klingon phrasebook the correct which demonstrates module, to help sayings ten crucial for pronunciation and of tricky social situations a range navigate out in Klingon restaurants, activities. Eating and attending sporting Klingon events, enjoying parties birthday and weddings, Klingon movies, when less dangerous somewhat will become guide and using this indispensable language primer to . *Good luck! Conforms to CPSIA 2008, ASTM F963, and EN-71 standards. Manufactured by Hung Hing Company, Offset Printing China, JanuaryShenzen, 2013. Ages 8 and Up For COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR AUTHORIZED DISTRIBUTION Introduction Klingon Pronunciation Traveling to the homeworld of the Klingons, known by Klingon sounds and spellings can be tricky for non-Klingon travelers. the honor-bound natives as Qo’noS (Kronos in Your attempts at speaking properly will be rewarded with the grudging standard language)? What a wonderful opportunity to explore respect of the Klingons you meet. a fascinating culture while dodging knife thrusts! This book will give you a leg up in your efforts to master the Klingons’ a as in honor t as in tingle language, one of the most, well . . . forceful in the universe. b as in battle tlh is the trickiest sound of the bunch. Start ch as in charge to say torpedo, but instead of going through The sound module included with this phrasebook contains 10 with the t, drop the sides of your tongue and D as in danger, but with the tip of your different phrases. Master them, and the others presented in let the air noisily hiss out. tongue touching the roof of your mouth the book, and you’ll be ready for a host of colorful experiences u as in kaboom among the Klingons. (note: this letter appears in uppercase only) e as in death v as in violent gh is like the gargly French r w as in warfare H is the pre-hocking-a-loogie noise—like y as in yell the ch in the German pronunciation of Bach ’ is like a catch in your throat—it’s the I as in ship (note: you will never see this in sound represented by the hyphen in uh-oh. lowercase in Klingon) j as in jugular l as in launch m as in military n as in annihilate ng as in sting o as in explode p as in pounce as in kill, but pronounced much farther back in your mouth Q is like the Klingon q followed by the Klingon H (note: in Klingon, you have to mind your Q’s and q’s—they’re very different) r is like the rolled r in Spanish gracias S as in shrapnel, but with the tip of your tongue pointing toward the roof of your mouth (note: this letter appears in uppercase only)

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR At a restaurant Klingon cuisine is justlyAUTHORIZED famed 1 DISTRIBUTION KLINGON: for its utter repulsiveness. vIlajQo’. muropmoH qagh. Make an effort to sample everything you’re offered, no TRANSLATION: matter how repugnant—or No, thanks. I’m allergic alive—it might be. And after to gagh. the meal, never get between a Klingon and the check. Being treated to dinner ALSO HELPFUL: (or even “going ”) is deeply humiliating to a ngem targh Dajab’a’? Klingon. Besides, you might Is your targ free-range? accidentally undertip, which could cause grave offense. Or jIHmo’ jabwI’ yIHoHneSQo’! an interplanetary incident. Please don’t kill the waiter on my account!

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR Klingon theaters are notorious 2 At the movies AUTHORIZED KLINGON: for painful volumeDISTRIBUTION levels romuluSngan julyetlh je, cha’ and floors sticky with spilled chaw’mey. buckets of racht. Note also that stuntmen and special TRANSLATION: effects are unknown in Klingon Two for Romulan and Juliet. cinema. Everything you see on the screen is horribly, horribly real. Plan your movie- ALSO HELPFUL: going accordingly. Be warned, however, that even films ralchoHDI’ much, lubejlaH’a’ intended for Klingon children puqpu’? can be upsetting to viewers Is the carnage in this movie belonging to other species. G-rated?

wa’ nenwI’, wa’ ghIjqu’bogh nenchoHwI’ je. One adult and one terrifying adolescent.

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR Klingon sports are so rough 3 At a sporting event AUTHORIZED KLINGON: they make rugby lookDISTRIBUTION like ’oDwI’! Hab SoSlI’ Quch! beginner ballet. All the eye- gouging! The pummeling! TRANSLATION: The brutal tackles! And that’s Hey, ref! Your mother has a just among the spectators smooth forehead! in the stands! Gambling is encouraged as a display of confidence, so pack plenty of ALSO HELPFUL: cash. If you don’t have time to master the local team’s official yaaaaaaay! chant, stay safe by watching Goooooooal! the match at home on pay- per-view. HooooooH! Killlllllllllll!

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR Selecting the right gift for a 4 At a birthday party AUTHORIZED KLINGON: Klingon is a dicey DISTRIBUTIONproposition. yItlhob ghIq weQmey tIpe’, Sentimental gifts are a serious tIchev! faux pas, and luxury goods are scorned. If you must give, TRANSLATION: consider weaponry or other Make a wish and chop off strictly practical goods, like . . . the candles! belts. Or boots. You know what? Maybe it’s best if you ALSO HELPFUL: just congratulate the birthday Klingon on being another ghIlo’meH Darur . . . rur je year closer to the glory of his pIwlIj! eventual warrior’s death and You look like a glo’meH . . . an afterlife of eternal mayhem And you smell like one, too! and feasting. qoSlIj yItIv! DaH, ’oy’naQ DIchu’! Happy birthday! Now let’s break out the painstiks!

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR The Klingon workplace 5 In the office AUTHORIZED KLINGON: differs from what DISTRIBUTIONyou might qab pagh qech ’ach Hegh be familiar with on your own qotlh ’op. planet. On Kronos, you’ll find no compromise, negotiation, TRANSLATION: or casual Fridays. Instead, the There are no bad ideas, only business environment is one ideas meriting death. of conflict, where climbing the corporate ladder often involves ALSO HELPFUL: hand-to-hand combat (and sometimes burning down the jaj jav ’oHmo’ DaHjaj’e’ qeylIS ladder behind you). Commonly lIjlaHbe’bogh vay’ wItlho’! offered perks include on-site Thank the blade sharpening, beard Unforgettable it’s Friday! insurance, and anger- nIbwI’ lIngwI’ pejqa’pu’ vay’. enhancement counseling. Someone demolished the copier again.

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR Even Klingons need to let their 6 At karaoke night AUTHORIZED KLINGON: hair (if not their guard)DISTRIBUTION down, Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam! and that’s where Kronos’s many karaoke lounges come TRANSLATION: in. These dens of relative Today is a good day to die! merriment are the perfect place for unwinding, organizing before battle, and celebrating victory. Brush up on your ALSO HELPFUL: Klingon flirting—which, to the untrained eye, resembles HI’uchchu’, mI’wI’Hom. martial arts—before you head Hold me closer, tiny dancer. out for a night on the town. muSeymoHchu’ QuchlIj vIlqu’. Those forehead ridges are really doing something to me.

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR Getting from A to B on 7 ON Public Transportation AUTHORIZED KLINGON: Kronos is a true testDISTRIBUTION of QI’ yay, charghwI’ je qun courage. Surface transports qach neH ghoS’a’ lupwI’vam? have no seat belts (or seats), subterranean tramways have TRANSLATION: no lights, and water taxis have Is this the express to the Museum no life jackets. Add to that the of Military Triumph and Conquest? buskers performing Klingon Combat Opera in the tunnels, ALSO HELPFUL: and traveling can be a grueling ordeal for off-worlders. Exact qaja’nISneS, qaH. pIpwIj nuQ change is required by law, naQjejlIj. with harsh, painful penalties Excuse me, sir. Your spear is for the unprepared. digging into my spine.

Huch pup vIghajbe’ batlh vIHuplu’ ’e’ vIloS. I don’t have exact change and await my just and devastating punishment.

Final Buttons COPYRIGHTED: NOT FOR For Klingons, no important 8 At a wedding AUTHORIZED KLINGON: occasion is completeDISTRIBUTION without DaHjaj ralrupchu’ naywI’! giant weapons and ear- splitting noise. And the TRANSLATION: Klingon wedding ceremony The bride has never looked is no exception. While others more violent! enjoy lighthearted ceremonies, Klingons will go on staging marriage rites worthy of ALSO HELPFUL: warriors. Don’t be alarmed by the raucous drumming, the jImoqchu’; Qun bIrur. simulated combat, and the You bludgeon divinely. groomsmen assaulting the wedding party. It’s all just part ’eng wIHqu’ chaH. of Klingons saying “I do.” They make such a ruthless couple.

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