CONTACT WINTER 2010/ADAR 5770 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 2 THE JOURNAL OF THE STEINHARDT FOUNDATION FOR JEWISH LIFE

NEW JEWISH contact FROM THE EDITOR WINTER 2010/ADAR 5770 VOLUME 12 NUMBER 2 NEW JEWISH RITUAL Eli Valley Editor lthough it is not uncommon to perceive age-old Jewish as rooted in stone or in Sinai, all ritual was at one point new. Whether inspired by Erica Coleman historical events, communal circumstance or spiritual osmosis from Copy Editor surrounding cultures, Jewish rituals have emerged and evolved as a means Janet Mann A to connect with history, with community or with notions of the Divine. For this Administration reason, new rituals are a barometer of both the vibrancy of Jewish life and the Yakov Wisniewski particular dynamics of the community at the time in which they emerge. Design Director This is one reason why it is useful to take a closer look at new rituals and the retrofitting of existing rituals in recent years. As continues to reshape itself to THE STEINHARDT FOUNDATION the contours of contemporary life, ritual has become one of the most compelling FOR JEWISH LIFE facets of modern Jewish expression. What do new rituals say about the needs and Michael H. Steinhardt values of segments of the American Jewish community? How do they reflect the ways Chairman in which groups that were marginalized in previous generations are newly energized Robert P. Aronson and empowered? How do new rituals reflect the contours of a community in President transition? In what ways do they reveal a new yearning for meaning and a desire to Gedzelman connect to community and to tradition? Executive Vice President The articles in this issue of CONTACT explore the many facets of new ritual, from theory to inception to widespread promulgation. They examine the ways in which Rabbi Irving Greenberg contemporary rituals open up new vistas for understanding and experiencing Judaism, Founding President and they reflect on the phenomenon of empowering themselves to create and Jonathan J. Greenberg z”l contribute meaningfully to the trajectory of Jewish tradition. Taken together, the Founding Director articles reveal the vibrancy of the contemporary Jewish experience as it continues to CONTACT is produced and adapt to the unique freedoms and possibilities of American life. distributed by The Steinhardt Foundation for Jewish Life, 6 East 39th Street, 10th floor, New York, NY 10016. All issues of Contact are available for download Eli Valley at www.steinhardtfoundation.org/journal.html Individual subscriptions are free of charge and IN THIS ISSUE are provided as a service to the community. To subscribe, please send your name and mailing address to [email protected]. INVESTING IN TOMORROW’S RITUALS: A DIALOGUE 3 Felicia Herman and Rachel Brodie Phone: (212) 279-2288 Fax: (212) 279-1155 THE COURAGE TO REINVENT JEWISH RITUAL Email: [email protected] 5 Vanessa L. Ochs Website: www.steinhardtfoundation.org For media inquiries about The Steinhardt 7 RITUAL AND THE FORCES OF THE FREE MARKET Foundation for Jewish Life, please contact Rabbi Hayim Herring Dan Gerstein at [email protected]. HOW WOMEN AND GIRLS REVITALIZED JEWISH RITUAL Copyright © 2010 by 8 Roni Handler and Lori Hope Lefkovitz The Steinhardt Foundation for Jewish Life. REINVENTING THE , AGAIN 10 Rabbi Meszler The Steinhardt Foundation for Jewish Life is dedicated to strengthening and transforming YOU DIDN’T HAVE A BAT-? Ameri can Jewish Life to ensure a flourishing, 11 Sally Gottesman sustainable community in a fully integrated free society. We seek to revitalize Jewish 12 RITUAL AT ROMEMU identity through educational and cultural Rabbi David Ingber initiatives that are designed to reach out to all Jews, with an emphasis on those who 13 BENEATH THE SURFACE — TAKING OUR PRINCIPLES SERIOUSLY are on the margins of Jewish life, as well as to Aliza Kline advocate for and support Hebrew and Jewish CREATIVE LIFECYCLE RITUALS literacy among the general population. 14 Rabbi C. Berkowitz

Unless otherwise indicated, photographs RENEWING RITUAL: REVITALIZING THE SACRED appear courtesy of contributors. Front and 15 back cover photographs by Beth Shepherd Debra Kolodny Peters (www.bethshepherdpeters.com). 2 CONTACT INVESTING IN TOMORROW’S RITUALS: A DIALOGUE

by FELICIA HERMAN and RACHEL BRODIE

ew rituals often emerge through a combi- nation of grass roots ingenuity, inspiration Nand collective will — but for rituals to attain broader acceptance, it helps to have resources and support. With this in mind, we asked the directors of Natan and Jewish Mile- stones to discuss the process of formulating and funding new rituals aimed at empowering individ- uals and enriching Jewish life. Jewish Milestones is a nonprofit organization focus- ing on making lifecycle rituals accessible to a broad spectrum of Jews. Natan, a consortium of young philan- thropists that favors innovative Jewish programming, is now supporting Jewish Milestones through its “Advanc- ing Inclusiveness in the North American Jewish Com- munity” grant committee.

FELICIA HERMAN OF NATAN: I’m glad that we have the opportunity to talk about phi- lanthropy and funding organizations like Jewish Mile- stones. It’s exciting to talk about this with you as a new Natan grantee, because I think that funding access to Jewish rituals needs a new conceptual framework that I really learned about through talking to you during the application process. What we loved about Jewish Milestones is that while your work definitely falls into Natan’s grantmak- ing category of making the Jewish community more welcoming and accessible to traditionally marginalized groups, the conceptual framework that underpins your work has helped enrich our thinking about “inclusive- ness” more generally. In particular, you start from the data that shows that at any point in time, most Ameri- can Jews don’t belong to . Yet, as you’ve shown, when it comes to marking the important moments in their lives, many wish to do so through Jewish rituals. And so you truly meet them where they are — outside of traditional institutional frameworks like synagogues — and work with them one-on-one, rather than undertaking the difficult (albeit important) job of trying to change the institutions themselves. This is a really simple conclusion, in a way. Rather than saying “people aren’t joining synagogues — let’s fix synagogues!” or “people aren’t joining synagogues — they need more ,” you just accept the

Felicia Herman, Ph.D., is Executive Director of Natan. Rachel Brodie is Executive Director of Jewish Milestones. PHOTOGRAPH BY RUDI HALBRIGHT WINTER 2010 3 ideas — to Jewish options — but they’re pretty hands-off about the ways that users opt to utilize that content. This is not a new dynamic, though it is a complex one for a reli- gion so associated with law and authority. I’m wondering how this plays out at - ish Milestones. You are definitely empower- ing users to make Jewish rituals their own. But I’m wondering what the role is, then, of authority. Where do you draw the line — if you draw lines at all — on empowering peo- ple to build their own Jewish rituals? What’s the role of the rabbi in this scenario? What’s the role of the community?

RB: You’ve identified the top two issues we wrestle with, as do those who are challenged by our mission. Most of the people we work with are sur- I like that idea of looking at Jewish life today from 15,000 feet. prised to learn that they are considered “unaf- filiated” or thought to be lacking in Jewish reality and work with it. How did you come from 15,000 feet and see Jews all across the community. In our experience, the individuals to this conclusion? I imagine you must have landscape, some affiliated, some not, and and families we work with will tell you that thought about it for a good long time. then promote projects that will help any of they are part of Jewish communities. As one these Jews access meaningful experiences of of our clients described it, the difference is RACHEL BRODIE OF Judaism. Promoting inclusivity then means that “we’re not part of the official one: capital JEWISH MILESTONES: encouraging Jews to feel included in Judaism T, capital J, capital C [The Jewish Commu- As a Jewish educator living in the Bay Area, — not by privileging those who do so only nity].” These families find Jewish community where fewer than 20 percent of the Jews within specific contexts, but by helping all elsewhere: through a rich network of friends identify as members, I was facing Jews become insiders to the tradition. and family; at the Jewish day school their the reality, as you described it, on a daily child attends; in their local Jewish Community basis. In fact, the catalyst for creating Jewish FH: I like that idea of looking at Jewish life Center; through involvement with Jewish cul- Milestones was my own experiences with today from 15,000 feet. One of the real intel- tural and philanthropic organizations. self-described “bad Jews.” By this they mean lectual pleasures of working on the funding The boundaries of what constitutes any that they don’t follow Jewish ritual laws, such side is having access to so many ideas all at community — not just Jewish — have never as keeping kosher or attending ser- once through the applications we each been more dynamic. This itself challenges the vices regularly — not, as I am quick to point year and through the various organizations very notion of behavioral conformity as an out, that they are especially unethical, selfish (40 this year) that Natan members decide to essential element of community. It also or apathetic. These Jews felt lost, unworthy support. It definitely gives one a view of the undermines the traditional perception of or unwelcome in traditional Jewish institu- landscape that is rare and very inspiring. authority. In our work, when describing the tions, never more so than when they So from that vantage point, it strikes me boundaries of what can or cannot be done, expressed interest in bringing Judaism into that many of the organizations that Natan and by whom, we acknowledge that author- their lives at key lifecycle moments. Jewish members are identifying as worth building ity is in the eye of the beholder. This is true Milestones was born of a desire to meet the for the future are organizations that empower not only for those who would follow author- needs of any Jew, regardless of affiliation, individual Jews to make their own Jewish ity but also for those who hold communal who wishes to access his or her heritage at choices. Rabbi Elie Kaunfer of Mechon Hadar leadership positions. As my colleague, Mag- life’s most critical junctures, such as the has a new book coming out on this very gid Jhos Singer, a congregational leader who experience of birth and death. topic, Empowered Judaism (Jewish Lights, is not an ordained rabbi, says, when people Helping Jewish institutions be more wel- 2010). That’s helped to crystallize my think- challenge him with “where do you get the coming is a critical task, and one that, under ing on this topic. authority to do X, Y, or Z?” he answers, the banner of “outreach,” has garnered signif- With access to resources (and the internet “From the people who choose to be part of icant communal resources. Yet, if the revital- makes providing access and retrieving infor- my congregation.” ization and sustainability of Judaism and the mation easy and cheap in a way that is histori- Does this mean that anything goes? development of positive is cally unprecedented), and often with a bit of No. Our goal is to help our clients make your ultimate goal, then one of the signifi- guidance from people who know Judaism informed decisions. We are clear that, for cant limitations of an institution-based strat- well, individual Jews can construct Jewish example, while Jewish law does not preclude egy is that it comes from a very narrow and lives and Jewish communities of their own. a do-it-yourself baby naming, when it comes particular view of what it means to be a One certainly sees this in the independent to conversion or formal rituals the “good Jew” — which, even in its broadest minyan phenomenon, which is primarily what repercussions of not submitting to authority sense, is usually defined by affiliation with Elie discusses in his book. But it’s a common can be far-reaching. We have come to see Jewish communal organizations. way of thinking among many organizations that the question of “will that count (as a bar The funders of Jewish Milestones don’t that Natan supports and other organizations mitzvah, a Jewish , etc.)?” is better see inclusivity as a one-way street, a way to founded in the last decade or so. These orga- understood as “who will see this as legitimate encourage those on the outside to come nizations seem to be in the business of provid- and who will not? And why does or doesn’t ■ inside. Rather, they look at Jewish life today ing people with access to Jewish content and that matter to me?”

4 CONTACT An invented Jewish ritual is a practice, THE COURAGE liturgy or object that TO comes about at a REINVENT particular time and JEWISH RITUAL setting because by VANESSA L. OCHS something has THE STRUGGLING SUKKAH easily as they are supposed to), and lengths changed, something y family’s sukkah is one mopey- of blue plastic tarp that hook onto shower looking structure: a set of metal curtain rings. No matter how many strands of is missing or Mrods that must be augmented by popcorn and cranberries we hang, no matter duct tape (because they never interlock as how thickly we overlay cornhusks and sus- something needs pend autumnal fare from the farmer’s market on bamboo poles, the resulting structure marking or Vanessa L. Ochs is an Associate Professor at the always feels more like a cross between a University of Virginia and author of Inventing Jew- Christmas tree and a bloated beach cabana. remembering. ish Ritual (Jewish Publication Society, 2007), which For my tastes, both spiritual and aesthetic, won The National Jewish Book Award in 2007. this may constitute a “kosher” sukkah, but it WINTER 2010 5 does a shabby job celebrating the harvests of them into symbols. The late rabbinic scholar have imagined that I had the creative capac- our lives and evoking divine shelter. When Baruch Bokser wrote, in connection to the ity to reinvent a sukkah that could continue we host our guests alongside the invoked new ritual of the seder, that “Rituals, like reli- the inherited practice in a new, innovative, spirits of our ancestors, both crowds are gion, do change, and one form of change is by challenging and even edgy way. With this in being shabbily accommodated. imposing significance on those things that mind, I was happily surprised and inspired I got used to thinking that we would just originally lacked meaning. Precisely because when Allan Wexler presented images of his have to make do. But then I spent an after- not everything is transformed in the same award-winning contribution to the museum’s noon recently in a workshop called “On the manner and not everything becomes subject exhibit: a full-scale Gardening Sukkah, a space Art of Ritual” with artist Allan Wexler at the to words and actions that are geared to bring that could be used either as a fully outfitted Jewish Theological Seminary, held in conjunc- out an inner reality, we deal not with blind or gardening hut or as the setting for the ritual tion with the exhibit “Reinventing Jewish Rit- arbitrary choices but with a selective process.” meals of the holiday. He encouraged us to ual” at the Jewish Museum of New York. And (“Ritualizing the Seder,“ Journal of the Ameri- brainstorm, to be fearless, to relinquish our suddenly things started to make sense. can Academy of , Vol. 56, No. 3, anxieties about making fools of ourselves and Autumn, 1988) to make mistakes. RITUAL AND REINVENTION In our generation, ritual innovation has All we had to do, with soft pencils and But first, some background. All rituals, as come about in response to the crisis of the an expanse of paper covering our long table, scholars of religion know, were at one time Holocaust (Yom HaShoah) but it has also was to keep our hands moving and to jot invented, although not in their fully received been the necessary response to a whole range down ideas and images that came to mind. forms. Consider the day-long liturgy for Yom of marvelous things: the creation of the state Artist Mierle Laderman Ukeles, whose contri- Kippur, which emerged and shifted bit-by-bit of Israel (Yom Ha’atz maut), the ethics of femi- bution to the museum’s exhibit consisted of a over the centuries. An invented Jewish ritual nism (bat mitzvah, Rosh Hodesh groups, Miri- collection of scientific vessels holding spices is a practice, liturgy or object that comes am’s cup and the orange on the seder plate), that could be used for the Havdallah ritual, about at a particular time and setting because and the growing interest in social justice and was sitting and doodling next to me. She came up with a sukkah for her house in , covered in a cloud of mist which Part of the allowed glimpses of the full harvest moon. efficacy of While Wexler acknowledged that one would ask whether such a sukkah conformed to rituals is that traditional requirements, this was pointedly not the first question he asked. To help we can easily Ukeles refine her design, he wanted to trick ourselves know more about how the water would be pumped in through jets and how it could be into believing gathered to circulate underneath, like a Middle Eastern hammam. And the good that our ideas kept percolating. invented Daniel Belasco, who curated the exhibit, has said that our experience of the reinvented rituals were rituals can bring “meaning to our lives” and give us a “heightened awareness and a never new, heightened consciousness.” re-embraced The blessing of having artists enter the sphere of ritualizing is that they remind us or remade. that our familiar rituals — the ways we locate the holiness in our lives, sanctify the something has changed, something is missing tikkun olam (the matzah of hope for Soviet mundane, remember who we are and what or something needs marking or remember- Jewry, community mitzvah day, mitzvah proj- we value — periodically need judicious and ing. Maybe human needs shoring up. ects for b’nai mitzvah). imaginative repair. Beyond the techniques of Maybe needs special summoning. Some of the newly invented rituals even- their crafts, these artists understand how pro- Throughout , ritual inven- tually become so old and so beloved — say, ductive it can be to work imaginatively and tion has often come about as a response to cri- breaking a glass at a wedding, or tossing out intuitively while confronting and respecting sis. The most familiar crisis of antiquity was one’s sins in the tashlich ceremony on Rosh religious constraints and boundaries. the destruction of the Temple, which necessi- Hashanah — that we start believing that they The sukkah that I reinvented was a tated, for instance, a reframing of what it have been around since the beginning of Jew- little crazy, modeled as it was after those meant to observe when it was no ish time. Part of the efficacy of rituals is that inflatable moonwalk structures that kids longer possible to bring a lamb to Jerusalem we can easily trick ourselves into believing jump around in at fairs. I don’t know if I can for the priests to . A new ritual to that our invented rituals were never new, re- really pull that one off in reality. But my replace the sacrifice and group meal would embraced or remade. But the fact is that all of alternate idea, which seems infinitely more have to evoke God’s presence in physical and our rituals were at one point created. They feasible, involves giving sheets of canvas to spiritual exile. It would have to bring healing were new and then, because they were different artist friends who might draw ances- and the comforting knowledge that even with embraced, they became real. tors and mentors. That could happen. The rupture there was continuity. The invention of point is that I now feel I have not only the the seder, as we know it, emerged in an accre- RECREATING THE SUKKAH permission, but also the responsibility to use tionary way, keeping some former objects, Which brings us to sukkah creation at the my creative faculties to reinvent the rituals such as the lamb sacrifice, but transforming Jewish Theological Seminary. I could not that demand new life. ■

6 CONTACT RITUAL and the FORCES of the FREE MARKET

by RABBI HAYIM HERRING

retend that you’re a parent of a young pets” is conducted in remembrance of St. child. When your child looks up at Francis of Assisi’s love of all of God’s crea- Pyou with innocent eyes and asks, tures, that practice has been adapted annually “Where do new rituals come from?” what in some synagogues on the week in which will you say? the story of Noah is read from the . First, a qualification: I am not a scholar will then “bless” the pets and teach of Jewish ritual, so I make no pretensions about the Jewish value of compassion for all about providing a historical perspective on living beings (tza’ar ba’alei chayim). My sense trip to Israel. This is a list that gets longer as this question. But as a student of contempo- is that most rabbis who have incorporated we live longer, experience more and adapt to rary innovation within the Jewish commu- this ritual have done so within the past radical changes in social and cultural norms. nity, I’d like to explore the question, as it decade. In a related vein, we know that While the weight of creative rituals seems suggests some fascinating observations about Americans have a special infatuation with to incline towards the personal, new ritual how external forces influence internal Jewish their pets. I have recently begun to see a few activity can also be seen in the communal dynamics and about how innovation within rabbis offering a “Jewish” funeral for pets. In sphere. The Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs the Jewish community can have an impact this case, it is likely that the need for a new has pioneered the lighting of a specially- upon broader societal trends. ritual begins with the individual but is co- created yellow to commemo- I am defining “new ritual” as: created with a rabbi or other person with rate Yom HaShoah, and communal services • A ritual which has never been practiced knowledge of burial practices. for Yom HaShoah and Yom Ha’atzmaut are before (although it may have been influ- Feminism, egalitarianism and, more celebrated annually in most Jewish commu- enced by prevailing social phenomena) recently, a greater acceptance of GLBTIQ nities. Some congregations and individuals • An existing ritual that has been adapted Jews are three forces that have energized the hold an annual Tu B’Shevat Seder, enabling to suit contemporary values or styles invention of ritual. In some cases, these them to express their love of Israel, their • A ritual that has been practiced by a forces have resulted in a revision of a ritual. concern for the environment, or both con- PHOTOGRAPH BY KYER WILTSHIRE/ARTISTICWEDDINGPHOTOS.COM small segment of the community, but has For example, in heterosexual egalitarian mar- cerns simultaneously. grown in popularity either inside or out- riages, it is customary to see both bride and How far does the imagination stretch side of that sub-community groom encircle one another under the chup- when considering the origins of Jewish ritual • A ritual that occurs with regularity, either pah, where previously that act was reserved creation and experimentation? In almost in the synagogue, the home or a public for women. The existence of gay every Jewish community today, a venue and commitment ceremonies, which have no rabbi will light a menorah for Chanukah in a These criteria, while not exhaustive, offer halakhic precedent, allows us to glimpse rit- public place with a government official. That a framework for identifying patterns or ual-in-the-making. Modern Orthodoxy has has by now become routine, as remarkable as trends in the origins of rituals that might also absorbed new rituals, especially those that act is. Do we view this as a new ritual otherwise escape our attention. influenced by feminism, including women’s that celebrates Judaism in the public square? To leap to the answer about the origins of prayer groups and bat mitzvah. Conversely, What about Jews who are married to Chris- new rituals, it appears that they originate Modern Orthodoxy’s commitment to the tra- tians who place Jewish decorative symbols on from multiple sources. No one set of organi- ditional use of the has inspired liberal their Christmas trees? Is that a new Jewish zations or individuals have a monopoly on Jews to expand utilization of the mikveh for ritual for those families? their invention. In an age of pervasive and multiple rites of passage. My point in these The broader social and cultural contexts burgeoning networks, they can diffuse rap- observations is to note that all facets of Jew- in which Judaism and the Jewish community idly and cannot be controlled. Despite the ish life are influenced by and contribute to are situated are virtual Petri dishes which fact that they are fresh, their origins may the dynamic of ritual creativity. give rise to novel and unexpected forms of become unintentionally blurred. New rituals As further proof that the “sovereign self” ritual life. A wide array of inputs produces are often not contested like legal (halakhic) also reigns in people’s spiritual lives, personal voluminous ritual outputs. They are stimu- issues, because they are voluntary and often loss, change and growth become catalysts for lated from the top down and the bottom up, chic or trendy. ritual change. You can find rituals online for from the individual and the organization, For example, while the “blessing of the retirement, menopause, moving into assisted- from the religious and the secular, from the living facilities, acquiring a driver’s license, risk-averse and the entrepreneurial. While Rabbi Hayim Herring, Ph.D., is President and having sex for the first time, sanctifying the often shaped by external forces, they also C.E.O. of Herring Consulting Network. He thanks his birth of a first-born daughter, celebrating a have the power to influence the broader cul- daughter, Tamar, for her help with this piece. milestone wedding anniversary and taking a ture of which we are a part. ■

WINTER 2010 7 HOW WOMEN AND GIRLS REVITALIZED JEWISH RITUAL by RONI HANDLER and LORI HOPE LEFKOVITZ

he image of Jewish ritual life in former ish ritual practice more generally. women forever changed the look of liberal times is often -differentiated: The first American bat mitzvah (Judith Jewish ritual. Decades later, in response to the Thair-covered women lighting candles; Kaplan’s, in 1922) challenged the separate identified needs of adolescent girls for esteem- -wrapped men waving the ; men spheres of Old World Judaism, but as late as building systems, Kolot developed Rosh populating the shul and ; women pre- the 1980s, we still wondered if baby naming Hodesh groups for girls, a program now pro- siding over the kosher kitchen. There is an ceremonies for daughters (the simchat bat or mulgated by Moving Traditions. ancient mandate that each generation partici- zevet habat) would ever attain the level of reli- Scholars recovered women’s non-canonical pate in the making of Torah for itself. In our gious significance as the Torah-ordained brit traditions from Jewish communities around the times, this mandate has found its fullest milah (circumcision) for boys. Families never- world. These included a North African custom response in the enfranchisement of women, theless thoughtfully created welcoming rituals of Chag Habanot (Festival of the Daughters), as Judaism has evolved in tandem with a (from tallit wrapping to foot washing), wrote embedded in Chanukah, on Rosh Hodesh. As non-negotiable secular ethic of egalitarianism personally meaningful naming , and Rabbi Jill Hammer describes it, the heroism of and inclusiveness. That which began as an unearthed appropriate song and liturgy from Judith (whose story, like that of the Maccabees, effort to redress women’s ritual inequality has earlier generations. Among the first traditions is found in the Apocrypha) was celebrated; girls had the startling effect of reinvigorating Jew- revived by was the ancient received presents and prayers and concluded Festival of the New Moon, a mini-Rosh any lingering quarrels. This unique occasion for Hashanah associated with women’s piety in girls balanced the otherwise all-male reso- Roni Handler, a rabbinical student at the Recon- midrashic literature and, traditionally, distinc- nances of Chanukah’s more familiar stories structionist Rabbinical College, edits Ritualwell.org tively observed by Jewish women. Rosh Hodesh about warriors and the Temple priesthood. under the direction of Lori Hope Lefkovitz, the Sadie groups, the Jewish version of consciousness Until Rabbi Debra Orenstein developed Gottesman and Arlene Gottesman Reff Professor of at RRC. Lefkovitz is also the raising groups, met to study, eat, talk and her Lifecycle volumes in the 1990s (Jewish Founding Director of Kolot: The Center for Jewish sanctify the coming month in women’s com- Lights Publishing, 1998), few of us knew that Women’s and . Her new book is In munity. These initiatives fueled creativity and women in the shtetl recycled the etrog from Scripture: The First Stories of Jewish Sexual Identi- scholarship. Bringing color and decorative for fertility rites, used the wimple that ties (Rowman & Littlefield, 2010). arts to the fabrics for kippot and tallitot, these binds the Torah as a focus object during labor

8 CONTACT That which began as an effort to redress women’s ritual inequality has had the startling effect of reinvigorating Jewish ritual practice more generally. and routinely recited techines ( message of future redemption, Miriam has ment with Judaism revitalizes the tradition prayers). Rabbi Nina Cardin taught us that the become Elijah’s analogue at other ritual occa- and enhances our lives. In recent decades, might offer a red stone and blessing sions that have classically invoked the women ritual experts have been among our to a woman hopeful of pregnancy. Women prophet, such as at the bris, where Miriam, best teachers in adapting the tradition to new began to ritually acknowledge other life stages like Elijah, may now find a chair awaiting her circumstances. For example, the Jewish wed- and transitions. Savina Teubal’s simchat arrival. Miriam, like Elijah, is sung to at ding, ancient and beautiful, implicitly sancti- chochma (the wisdom celebration) included havdalah (with new lyrics by Rabbi Leila Gal fies an intention to be fruitful. Since modern wearing a kittel (the shroud that makes us Berner), and because this ritual marks separa- Jews often intentionally delay bringing chil- mindful of mortality on or tion (between Sabbath and workdays), havda- dren into the family, Rabbi Nina Cardin has Pesach), tree-planting, and song. lah has become a time when families, recalling suggested including the in Bir- Debbie Friedman’s Lechi Lach, invoking Abra- that Abraham had a weaning ceremony for kat Hamazon (Grace after Meals) on the PHOTOGRAPHS BY BETH SHEPHERD PETERS ham and Sarah’s setting forth, was written for Isaac, might add blessings to acknowledge this when a couple makes this momen- the occasion and is now a staple of contempo- important transition in the life of nursing tous decision. In keeping with the custom of rary ritual. More recent innovations include mothers. Ritual immersion in the mikveh, once some Ashkenazi families to add a candle to coming out and gender-transition rituals. rejected by liberal Jews because of outmoded the Shabbat candelabrum with each birth, Scholarly reconsiderations of Jewish associations with women’s “ritual impurity,” Cardin suggests that upon conception, an sacred texts reminded us that women in the has been reclaimed for the healing of physical unlit candle be placed there, ritually antici- Torah flourished tambourines to honor God’s and psychological damage, in both the antici- pating life potential. In the sad event of a miracles, that Jephthah’s daughter and her pation and conclusion of cancer treatments miscarriage, the candle is lit during the week companions mourned for women’s losses and before and graduations. The and burned down, a mini-yahrzeit candle, four days a year, and that Miriam — whose , which precedes , has correcting traditional Judaism’s ritual neglect name contains the Hebrew for “sea” — pre- been similarly invested with contemporary of this devastating experience. More happily, sided over water miracles from watching purpose. Mindful of details in Esther’s story, when a baby arrives, the candle becomes a Moses at the Nile to leading song at the part- the Mistabra Institute for Jewish Textual Activ- weekly Shabbat addition. ing of the Red Sea. Jewish lore includes “Mir- ism called attention to the international crisis These rituals as well as many more are iam’s Well” filled with life-saving water. The of trafficking in women; Jewish Orthodox available on www.ritualwell.org, an archive of decorative tambourines as well as Miriam’s Feminist Alliance (JOFA) attends to the plight contemporary rituals sponsored by Kolot: Cups that now grace some contemporary of the (the “chained” woman who The Center for Jewish Women’s and Gender seder tables restore an ancient female pres- requires a legal divorce); and Kolot is develop- Studies. From rituals for the environment to ence to contemporary Jewish ritual practice. ing Ta’anit Esther as a Jewish Day for Social getting a driver’s license to prayers for the As Miriam’s Cup — filled with spring Justice to annually support the lifesaving work Thanksgiving table, men and women have water to commemorate miracles past and pres- of a contemporary Queen Esther. contributed strategies for revitalizing Jewish ent — balances Elijah’s wine-filled Cup and its Jews’ devotion to and thoughtful engage- practice and honoring life. ■

WINTER 2010 9 REINVENTING THE MINYAN, AGAIN by RABBI JOSEPH MESZLER

s I walk into my synagogue on the not just men, has transformed the synagogue. gogue. Now that they are no longer required to first Friday of the month, I am And yet, parallel to this transformation of be there for a minyan, these men would rather A greeted by the handshakes of men of the minyan, another national conversation avoid feeling awkward. Given the choice different generations. For the past three years, has arisen about the importance of gender in between coaching a daughter’s soccer team or we have been meeting early in the morning understanding how human beings work. coming to services, there is no competition. for Men’s Study, a discussion for men only on Books and studies abound on how men and The synagogue world is beginning to what Judaism has to say about being a father, women communicate, think and view the respond to this reality. While we recognize a grandfather, a partner in marriage, a son or world differently due to their sex and social that women and men are equal before God, just an all around mensch. We regularly attract experience. The egalitarian minyan, however, “equal” does not mean “interchangeable.” Just does not acknowledge these differences. as women need time to come together just to 20 to 30 men, ranging in age from late 20s to Another related phenomenon has been be with other women, such as at a Women’s much older. This has become our new version the decline of the participation of men in lib- Seder or Rosh Hodesh group, so do men need of the old custom of the male minyan, a quo- eral religious institutions, including syna- to come together exclusively with other men. rum of ten Jews necessary for some ritual gogues. In their ground-breaking study, In fact, many men feel comfortable sharing functions. The idea of a male minyan in an “Matrilineal Ascent/Patrilineal Descent” their feelings on the challenges of being a egalitarian synagogue may make some people’s (Brandeis University, 2008), Dr. Sylvia Barack father, a partner in marriage, and a son of heads spin: in a proudly liberal community, Fishman and Daniel Parmer identify that aging parents only with other men. At our why is an exclusively male group meeting for women are outnumbering men in the Jewish synagogue, therefore, we have a mixed gender Jewish study? Why is it necessary? world, sometimes at a rate of two-to-one or minyan for all prayer services and Shabbat Ever since Abraham argued with God higher. While women are embracing their Torah study, but we also have women-only over the fate of the towns of Sodom and Jewish lives publicly and ritually, “boys and Sisterhood Study and men-only Men’s Study to Gomorrah, Jews have required a minyan of men are being alienated from Jewishness acknowledge our gender differences. ten to pray a service in its entirety. According from their early years onward.” Whether it is The concept of the minyan is therefore to this passage in the Torah, ten was the min- attending services, taking an adult education changing again. A minyan remains a source of imum number of people required for civiliza- class, or volunteering for a social action proj- ritual practice and study and must represent tion to exist. For centuries, the minyan ect, a quick look around the room begs the our multi-faceted community. If we want our consisted only of men, leading to community question, “Where are the men?” children to have male role models in Jewish and camaraderie but also to the exclusion of The problem is not matrilineal ascent but life, we have to attract men to the synagogue, Jewish women from the public sphere. patrilineal descent. For a large variety of fac- to a new kind of minyan for men. We have to Egalitarian synagogues — the large tors, men no longer feel comfortable in the syn- listen deeply to what they need. Jewish men majority of synagogues in North America — agogue world. One reason is that there is a desperately want to fulfill their responsibilities. now count women in a prayer minyan as diminishing amount of leisure time in our cul- At this minyan, they will be able to ask them- well. The feminist movement has correctly ture, and young men of the newest generation selves: How can I be a good father beyond just insisted on equal footing in the Jewish ritual have felt the brunt of it. Despite both men and being a stereotypical disciplinarian? How can I world. This means complete access to Jewish women being a part of the same workforce, take care of my aging parents? What role does life and therefore freedom from gender-based men tend to identify with their work to an Judaism teach me about being a partner in mar- restrictions. Female prayer leaders, including extraordinary degree. We live in a time when riage in addition to being a provider? What do rabbis, cantors and synagogue presidents, the work week (as well as commute time and I owe my community? How do I practice this have become commonplace, and the syna- the constant demands of email and cell phones) through Jewish rituals and ethics? gogue world has reaped tremendous benefits continues to expand. In addition, as a result of A new version of the minyan must return, from this change. Needing ten Jewish people, their own feminist sensibilities, men are using but not on the basis of patriarchal power and what precious free time they have to try to be hierarchy. Instead, it must represent the need Rabbi Joseph Meszler is the spiritual leader of Tem- equal partners at home, including parenting for gendered programming that speaks to ple Sinai in Sharon, Massachusetts and the author of their children from an early age. To cope, men men as men and women as women. In this several books, including A Man’s Responsibility: A prefer more flexible hours, not less work. Other way, as Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook once said, Jewish Guide to Being a Son, a Partner in Marriage, men, unfamiliar with Hebrew, simply feel igno- “The old shall become new and the new shall a Father, and a Community Leader (Jewish Lights rant and therefore infantilized in the syna- become holy.” ■ Publishing, 2008). 10 CONTACT YOU DIDN’T HAVE A

PHOTOGRAPHS COURTESY OF MOVING TRADITIONS BAT- MITZVAH?

by SALLY GOTTESMAN

hat do the following people have in common: Judith Ginsberg (Nash Family Foundation), WPhyllis Goldman (American Jewish World Service), Rabbi Joy Levitt (JCC in Manhattan), Rabbi Naamah Kelman (Hebrew Union College) and Ruth Messinger (American Jewish World Service)? As twelve- and thirteen-year-old girls, they were all ground-breakers in their home congregations, among the first girls to have bat mitzvah ceremonies when this ritual was considered deviant and foreign to the Jewish com- munity at large. Ask almost any Jewish woman over the age of 40 about her bat mitzvah and she’ll have a story to tell you — why she didn’t have a bat mitzvah, or why she did, and what she was allowed or wasn’t allowed to do on that Friday night, or in that group or, rarely, on that Saturday morning. How did it come to pass that in two generations we can barely recall those times? What causes a rapid change in Jewish ritual, especially a more radical change? What precipitates change such as a bat mitzvah? I was interested in the answer to these questions for two reasons — one personal, one professional. The personal: I was another girl to have a first — the

Sally Gottesman chairs Moving Traditions. To share your bat mitzvah “first” experience or to learn more about Moving Tradi- tions’ traveling gallery exhibit that will explore the evolution of b’nei mitzvah, contact her at [email protected]. To see let- ters petitioning for Sally’s 1975 bat mitzvah, visit the online Jewish Women and the Feminist Revolution exhibit on the Jewish Women’s Archive website, jwa.org. WINTER 2010 11 first Saturday morning bat mitzvah in my Con- who were instrumental in the adoption of bat resistance had to be acknowledged and chan- servative New Jersey synagogue in 1975. The mitzvah. Since the group is aging, we felt it nels of communication had to be opened. instrumental forces in my story included our would be better to do this project sooner Crucially, bat were adopted congregation’s rabbi, who was looking for a rather than later. because they were like something the boys did, test case; my parent’s involvement in the syna- What did we learn by talking with others, and education for girls and boys in Hebrew gogue; the Orthodox day school I attended and how do I think it may influence my, and schools was co-ed. Thus, gender parity was an (long before day schools were popular) that our, ability to change Jewish ritual? essential value in the community’s willingness made me more prepared for the bima than the First, we learned that many people think to change, and context and institutional struc- girls or boys in our synagogue Hebrew School; that the institution of the bar mitzvah was ture were key to seeing that change succeeded. the women’s movement; and getting my hands given at Sinai. They know the emphasis has It took decades for the bat mitzvah cere- on a 1973 issue of Response magazine devoted not always been the post-synagogue party, mony to evolve — from Friday night to Sat- to The Jewish Woman. Thus, I came to under- but if you press, they insist there must have urday morning, from reading Haftorah to stand the importance not only of individual always been a bar mitzvah ceremony for boys reading Torah, from a one-time occasion to agency and personal power, but the environ- at age thirteen. The truth is much more com- being counted in the minyan any day. At my mental factors that would help to effect plicated. Bar mitzvah as we think of it today bat mitzvah I didn’t think to ask whether I’d change. — granting a boy the right to be called to the be counted in a minyan the following week. The professional: I chair Moving Traditions. Torah, to be counted in a minyan and to wear These changes evolved and are still evolving As a leader of an organization devoted to the a tallit and — did not develop until — slowly or rapidly, depending on how you intersection of gender and Judaism, I wanted to the 14th-Century in Europe. look at them. I also learned that girls who better understand how this “radical gender act” Second, the adoption of the bat mitzvah had brothers (which I didn’t) often thought was adopted within a century by almost all has been so successful that a startling num- of their events as “less-than.” Jews. I was fascinated because few changes in ber of young people today imagine that it, Finally, the next ritual frontiers: I think Judaism have had as radical an impact as rituals too, was given around the time of Sinai. The one ritual that is ripe for wider practice is that have empowered women. truth is that there were occasional attempts Havdalah. It is short, easy and beautiful. I In addition, Moving Traditions currently in Europe in the 19th and 20th centuries to hope the revival will include the singing of has 300 Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! groups have parties for girls, without any religious Miriam HaNeviah along with Eliyahu HaNavi. in the United States, furthering teenage girls’ ritual, to mark their coming-of-age as Jews. I also believe that God language in English practice of Judaism as well as strengthening The first bat mitzvah in the United States, in and Hebrew is key to how women and men the participants’ self-esteem. We have success- 1922, is credited to Mordechai Kaplan and see themselves. In , the familiar fully marketed Rosh Hodesh to institutions as his daughter, Judith Kaplan-Eisenstein, formulation baruch atah (“blessed are you,” an experiential education program they can although she stood “below the bimah at a written in the male formation) calls to God in offer to their constituents and to girls as a very respectable distance from the Scroll of language that is personal and correct for men, group activity. But our goal is for Rosh Hodesh the Torah” (quoted in Jo David and Daniel B. but for women it is someone else’s name. We groups for girls to be a ritual, like the bat mitz- Syme, The Book of Jewish Life, 1997) and read are all made in the image of God, but for vah, that shuls initiate and are expected to from a humash after the service was over. women, the language that conjures that image offer and that girls plan to participate in, just We also learned that the changes that led keeps us at arm’s length. This has conse- like they plan to have bat mitzvahs. to the adoption of the bat mitzvah happened quences for each praying person’s relationship Moving Traditions set about to under- in small steps. The impetus was sometimes to God and for the community’s relationship stand how and why bat mitzvahs became from the girl, sometimes from her parents to power and authority. I am interested in how commonplace in such a short span of time by and sometimes from the — but the the Jewish community will address this issue talking with more than 50 “bat mitzvah firsts” three had to be acting in concert for the and what can be done to hasten the positing — now adult women, parents, and clergy changes to unfold. In each congregation, and answering of these questions. ■

Often this ritual involves using imaginative visual- izations that seek to focus the participant’s goals for RITUAL AT ROMEMU the coming week. by RABBI DAVID INGBER Our baby naming ceremonies (brit and simchat bat) always include a “babies Torah service.” We’ve t Romemu Center in , we have tive approaches to ritual. adopted a Libyan tradition and place babies (double a very creative approach to new Jewish rit- On one of our two monthly Friday night potluck wrapped in their parents’ talit, then placed on Aual. We believe meaningful spiritual prac- dinners, we offer a Z-moon. another talit) in the Torah scroll, on the portion they tices must provide familiar, safe territory while Z-moon, literally, “invitation,” is an open-mic will read at their bar/bat mitzvah ceremonies. simultaneously pushing us to explore unfamiliar, during the festive Shabbat meal that re-envisions Our service is a form of biblio- even dangerous territory. the classic Hasidic Tisch, or table. This allows the mancy. After Hakafot, the entire community stands Within our services, this means incorporating artists in our community a chance to share their gifts in a circle, according to their birthdays. We then ancient but neglected practices like and and connect meaningfully to Shabbat through new unravel the entire Torah, which is held by people contemplation. We regularly practice saying the and poetry. in the circle, with the Torah’s letters facing the Sh’ma as a breath meditation, carefully taking our Shabbat-asana is our Shabbat morning class center so that no one can see which part of the time to align each of the six words with one breath. and the name for our “Torah and Yoga” program. We scroll they are holding. Appointed readers stand in On Shabbat morning our Torah service has three combine yoga postures with themes from the parsha. the center. The readers read selected verses and group aliyot based on spiritual themes culled from Ravayah is a Saturday night Havdalah ritual offer interpretations that lend some wisdom or the weekly parsha, or Torah portion. We invite all that combines deep, soulful service to mark the end theme to the year. ■ participants to come up for any or all of the aliyot if of Shabbat with a dance party. Ravayah seeks to fill the or theme speak to them. the gap in spiritual programming on Saturday, Rabbi David Ingber is Founder and Spiritual Director of Programmatically, we offer a number of innova- essentially creating a Kabbalat Shavua service. Romemu (www.romemu.org).

12 CONTACT or started raising funds, and before it had hired a single staff member, the founders con- vened an interdenominational group of rabbis to affirm a list of seven “Principles of Com- mon Purpose.” Broad enough to garner wide

PHOTOGRAPH BY TOM KATES support and specific enough to be meaningful, each principle was weighted equally as an essential cog in the organization’s mission. 1. HALACHA (Jewish law). We are committed to traditional legal standards for the building and maintenance of the borot (collection pools) and mikvaot (immersion pools). 2. TZ’NIYUT (Modesty/Privacy). We respect the privacy, modesty and confidentiality of those who come to immerse themselves. We recog- nize that at the time of immersion, an indi- vidual becomes extraordinarily vulnerable. Our thoughtful and sensitive mikveh guides (male and female) are trained to help visitors BENEATH THE SURFACE: feel safe and comfortable. 3. AHAVAT YISRAEL (Love of the Jewish Peo- Taking our Principles Seriously ple). We honor and cherish the differences by ALIZA KLINE within the Jewish people. Mayyim Hayyim provides the space for Jews to practice the ontemporary Jews are spiritual seek- Mayyim Hayyim just minutes following ritual of immersion according to each indi- ers searching for meaningful, authen- immersion shows faces glowing with happi- vidual’s interpretation and understanding. Ctic experiences with the power to ness and pride. As Executive Director of the 4. KLAL YISRAEL (All of Israel). We are one transform. Mayyim Hayyim, the community mikveh, I have been blessed, many times, to Jewish people. Mayyim Hayyim is an un- mikveh located in Newton, MA, offers a be present to welcome and sing to new Jews. hyphenated Jewish place. unique case study in how ritual can help build If we could bottle the intensity and Jewish 5. CHINUCH (Education). Mayyim Hayyim is an inclusive Jewish community that welcomes pride in those moments, we’d have a proven committed to providing educational opportu- people from all styles of Jewish expression. elixir to ensure the vitality of our people for nities for children and adults. We are a gate- But we also have lessons that are applicable to centuries to come. Truly, I have a great job. way institution where everyone can deepen a variety of agencies, institutions and organi- The converts and families (Jewish and his or her understanding about Jewish zations — lessons with the power to non-Jewish) who come to Mayyim Hayyim thought, Jewish life and Jewish values. strengthen and deepen Jewish life for all. feel welcome and safe because every aspect of 6. HIDDUR MITZVAH (Beautify the Command- For nearly six years, Mayyim Hayyim has our organization — our facility, staff and vol- ment). The rabbinic admonition to beautify been trying to ascertain how wide we can unteers — is accessible to people who are religious life is central to our vision. From open the door to Jewish life through a single unfamiliar with Judaism. There is translation towels to tiles to art exhibits, Mayyim ritual — immersion in a mikveh — that has, for every Hebrew phrase; beautiful contem- Hayyim is a place that gladdens the eye as for a long time, seemed closed to the major- porary art on the walls; windows to let in the well as the spirit. ity of . We have been grap- light; comfortable seating, tea, children’s 7. PETICHUT (Openness). By providing access pling with such questions as: How do we books and snacks — everything we can think and availability for all Jews and those becom- ensure that a space is open and accessible of to make our visitors feel at home. Indeed, ing Jewish, Mayyim Hayyim strives to be while also ensuring that it remains personal, our mikveh building does not immediately inclusive of all who wish to learn and/or private and safe? What is required of the read like a traditional Jewish space, but immerse themselves, regardless of sexual ori- physical space, the personnel and the less everyone who enters it mentions the peace entation, physical/developmental ability or tangible feel of a setting in an organization and, indeed, the sanctity of the place, which background. devoted to creating access to Jewish ritual? is what makes it feel Jewish. While Mayyim Hayyim articulates these At its core, immersion in a mikveh is about We pay careful attention to the physical principles as they relate to the operation of a marking a life transition. Perhaps the clearest and emotional welcome communicated by mikveh and education center, the ideas are example is . After months our Jewish space because it enables us to live widely applicable. or years of Jewish learning and living, the ritual up to our goal of being fully open to the The principles provide three essential transformational moment requires stripping entirety of the Jewish community— includ- keys for an organization committed to mak- down, carefully examining and cleaning the ing Jews of color, those becoming Jewish, ing ritual accessible, meaningful and safe: 1) body, sinking into a pool of water fed by non-Jewish family members, disaffected or authenticity rooted in Jewish tradition; 2) a mayyim hayyim (“living waters,” naturally col- disenfranchised Jews, GLBT Jews, physically sense of ownership; and 3) transparency so lected from rainfall, snowfall or melted ice), and challenged Jews — everyone. that values are front and center. letting go to the sound of Hebrew blessings. Mayyim Hayyim’s attention to our physi- Organizations of all sizes and functions Conversion makes the physical, emo- cal plant and our commitment to openness need to examine their foundational principles tional and spiritual power of ritual alive and are shared with many other Jewish institu- and then make them known as broadly as pos- vivid. A collection of photographs taken at tions and organizations. But perhaps the sible, sharing their beliefs and goals in their most important lesson we can teach others is publications, classes and websites. There is no Aliza Kline is Executive Director of Mayyim Hayyim the importance of clear and compelling prin- time for hide and seek anymore. We all need to Living Waters Community Mikveh and Paula Brody ciples that serve as touchstones and guides. be easily found. The seekers are there, once you ■ & Family Education Center. Before Mayyim Hayyim had incorporated open your doors and welcome them in.

WINTER 2010 13 Our Jewish heritage should be a lens for CREATIVE experiencing the LIFECYCLE world, not a box that comes out only on RITUALS certain holidays and by RABBI MIRIAM C. BERKOWITZ

social occasions. clearly stressed, even though the woman was have begun to use the mikveh to mark other in a coma, that the purpose was to celebrate life transitions, often celebration (birth, bat her life, not mark her impending death. In mitzvah, first menstruation, marriage, birthday, this case, she could not bless her children and menopause, anniversary or life achievement), husband, but they told stories about her in the healing (from divorce, loss, miscarriage, rape, prime of her life. I invited her nurse to sing a abuse or illness), or preparation for assuming familiar spiritual, and I read some con- responsibility (rabbinic or cantorial ordina- itual is our way of sanctifying time and nected to living a good life. The ceremony tion, synagogue leadership or reading Torah). space, life and death and significant restored memories of life before illness and Although the healing ceremonies do not R points in between. It is one of the lan- brought the family closer together. The fact provide a magical cure or instant fix — they guages we use to interact with the Divine, to that it hearkened back to a Biblical custom cannot replace therapy, time and other long- interrupt our routines, relinquish control, and lent the event additional power and gravitas. term healing efforts — they can provide a turn- turn ourselves over to the power of symbols, ing point, a focus on other thoughts and words, song and community. Ritual connects Weaning Ritual symbols besides pain and victimization. They us to past, present and future. When Sarah weaned Isaac, Abraham made a can help people to feel they are taking active While we assume that rituals are ancient great feast (Genesis 21:8). In rabbinic times, roles in their recovery. Similarly, although cele- and rooted, they vary in age and origin. “Ritu- weaning took place at around age two; in Bibli- bration rituals do not transform how we react als are ‘created’ in at least three ways: by recov- cal times perhaps even later. After weaning, to an event if we have not prepared for it, they ering traditions that have fallen into disuse... by Isaac is called child, yeled, and it is precisely at do create a focus and conduit for our emotions. using an existing rite or blessing in a new con- this point that Sarah begins to worry about Ish- text... or by drawing on traditional texts, sym- mael’s influences on him. This milestone 3. CREATING NEW COMPOSITIONS bols, images and ritual objects to create an marked the baby’s greater physical indepen- In our society and historical period, we have entirely new composition...” (Rabbi Debra dence, new roles and expectations of parents, new events that call for new rituals. I would Orenstein, Lifecycles Vol. 1: Jewish Women on more freedom for the mother or perhaps a like to see rituals marking important life events Life Passages and Personal Milestones, Jewish return to fertility, and often a renewal of the such as learning to drive, coming of age to Lights Publishing, 1998) The following are mother’s focus from her child to her husband. vote, purchasing a first home, launching a new examples of recovering, transposing and creat- Weaning is still an emotional and physi- career, visiting Israel and making . The ing traditions in order to expand the range of cal turning point for parents and babies. Rabbis’ Manual of the occasions we stop to notice, mark and honor. With all our communal interest in babies and (1999) has blessings to note some of these child development, the weaning ceremony is occasions with an aliyah to the Torah, but fuller 1. RECOVERING TRADITIONS a glaring omission and one that could easily home-centered ceremonies can be created. End of Life Closure be reintroduced. Although these have not been defined as In the Torah, when the patriarchs sensed their ritual Jewish events per se, our Jewish heri- lives were drawing to a close, they gathered 2. NEW CONTEXTS FOR tage should be a lens for experiencing the their children around and blessed them. While EXISTING RITES world, not a box that comes out only on cer- individual families may behave in a similar Mikveh or immersion in natural water (a lake, tain holidays and social occasions. fashion, it is not a custom much discussed or river, ocean or spring) has traditionally been For some, new rituals will be justified only promoted today. I created such a ceremony for used by people purifying new dishes, by scribes if they eventually draw people to observe a woman from Florida whose family wanted before writing God’s name, by people preparing commandments. For others, alternative rituals to honor her in her home before she passed for festivals, by brides and grooms, and by are valuable on their own merits, as they away and was buried further north. It is a women after childbirth and after their monthly breathe new life into ancient symbols and give prime Jewish value not to worry the person menstruation in preparation for renewed expression to universal human needs and who is in his or her last days or to do any- emphasis on the sexual aspect of their relation- emotions in a specifically Jewish way. thing that will hasten death. Therefore, we ships. Removal of clothes, makeup, jewelry and The proliferation of rituals will not all barriers to the water symbolizes removing reduce their power or mystique. As long as our masks and personae; the natural waters take the purpose is to inspire the individual, Rabbi Miriam C. Berkowitz is a lecturer and pasto- ral caregiver in Israel and the author of Taking the us back to Eden, from where all rivers flowed involve the community and accentuate our Plunge: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to the when we stood before God with clear con- awareness of the awesome nature of life, rit- Mikveh (Schechter Institute, 2007). Her website is sciences. (Aryeh Kaplan, Waters of Eden: The ual will continue to enrich and revitalize the www.mikvehconsultant.com and she can be reached at Mystery of the Mikvah, Orthodox Union, 1993). fabric of Jewish life and hone our sense of [email protected]. In recent decades, some women and men gratitude, connection and responsibility. ■ 14 CONTACT ewish Renewal excels in many areas: cre- ative and engaged prayer; text study weav- J ing kabbalistic, hasidic, aggadic, midrashic RENEWING RITUAL: and halachic analysis; deeply engaged spiritual practices like and Hebrew REVITALIZING THE SACRED chant; and, of course, new and renewed ritual. As the headquarters organization for this by DEBRA KOLODNY trans-denominational adven- ture, ALEPH and our projects regularly pro- and the children. They donate the offerings to execution a radically new experience is called duce retreats, conferences, Israel pilgrimages, Oregon Food Bank’s Plant a Row project to forth. As ALEPH Board Secretary David Blu- community training, and lay- help feed the hungry. At the following potluck, menstein says, “More than new rituals, Jewish leader learning intensives. Creative ritual community leaders teach about projects like Renewal has ‘renewed’ existing rituals and abounds in all of them. Hazon’s Tuv Ha’Aretz, ALEPH’s Sacred Foods, breathed new life into them. The intention we At our last week-long conference, and local sustainability initiatives. bring, the story we tell, the way we get to the for example, Rabbi Hanna Tiferet Siegel and In the late 1980s in , Stephanie Loo, essential spark of a ritual, nurturing it, fanning other women leaders of Jewish Renewal facili- Janet Berkenfield and Matia Angelou wrote a it into a flame…that is what we do best.” tated the Eshet Hazon (Woman of Vision) ceremony using Miriam’s Cup for the Passover You might ask, why do we need ritual at empowerment ceremony, which was first con- seder, a tradition that found its way around the all? Ritual amplifies the transformational poten- ducted in 1982. They transmitted a blessing to globe, sometimes four women, linking them with dozens who retaining its original had been honored in local communities and at intent of remembering other major gatherings. Opening with chant, G!d’s redemptive the room arrayed with scarves and beautiful power in providing Judaica, the leaders told the story of the ritual the water, sometimes itself and of each new Eshet Hazon as she was morphing into a focus called up to be publicly blessed and honored. on Miriam herself. At the same Kallah, Rabbi led Some Renewal participants in a ceremony never before experi- rituals are not meant enced: a modern interpretation of the ancient rit- for Shabbat, festivals, ual of the red heifer. In her words, she intended life cycles or public to use “the power of inquiry, awareness, fire, events. Some are for intention, rhythm, movement, chant and everyday mindful- mayyim chayyim, the living waters…to enact this ness, for study or for ancient ritual and (G!d willing) emerge from the the complexity of our shadow of our deepest fears…into new life.” modern lives, calling Many reported that it was the most powerful us to notice a moment of an awe-inspiring week. moment, a transition Yet ALEPH and Jewish Renewal are much or an opportunity for more than the events we produce. We are 45 holiness. affiliated communities with hundreds of lay A new meditative ritual is Rabbinic Pastor tial of the moment and activates the G!d-field leaders and more than 130 rabbis, cantors Andrew Gold’s Echad practice used to deepen in its service. It also gives kavod (honor) where and rabbinic pastors serving around the understanding and engagement with the spiri- it is due, stepping into the stream of our ances- world and leading transformative Shabbat, tual reality of (Oneness) and as a tool in tors and our tradition, rejoicing with and/or life cycle and chag festival rituals. aiding teshuvah (repentance) during the High being comforted by the Holy One, by all those Take, for example, Sukkot. At Congregation Holy Days. Participants chant echad in a present, by all those who have come before and P’nai Or-Portland, Rabbi Aryeh Hirschfield z”l, sequence of ten repetitions, visualizing its all those who are yet to come. and Rivka Gevurtz designed a “Procession of energy entering through the keter (crown), leav- Rabbi , Dean of ALEPH’s the First Fruits,” involving their community in ing through the tiferet (heart). At the conclu- Rabbinic Program, once noted, “Reb Nach- an eco-conscious turn on an ancient ritual. sion of each sequence, the leader says softly: man observed that deep within each , no Those participating dress in white and bring “Ba’shamayim mima’al, v’al ha’aretz mitachat ayn matter how many layers may cover it, is a fresh, organic produce from their gardens or od” (Deuteronomy 4.39) (“In the heavens above core point, a ‘nekudah tovah’ of self-affirma- from their favorite farmers. Children wear floral and in the earth below, there is nothing else”… tion, not marred by judgmental traumas. wreaths in their hair and carry the bounty of but YHVH.) Participants repeat the sequence of Here at this core spot, the soul knows herself creation through the gardens to the sanctuary. ten repetitions seven times, for a total of 70, to to be wholly good. In Nachman’s metaphor, The post B’nai Mitzvah teens perform the role include and honor all nations and all creation. this internal point can be expressed as a of Kohanim, chanting, “Arise and let us go up Rabbi Goldie Milgram has written several musical note. It is the job of the ‘ tzi- to Zion, to the House of God our Lord!” All in books on ritual, including Living Jewish Life bur,’ the representative of the community, to attendance sing melodies written by Reb Aryeh Cycle: How to Create Meaningful Jewish Rites of activate and call forth this note from each z”l. Once in the sanctuary, they bless the gifts Passage at Every Stage of Life (Jewish Lights, person, joining it with all the others in the 2009). Many of her creative ceremonies can be creation of the music of an event.” Debra Kolodny is the Executive Director of ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal and Student Rabbi of found at www.ReclaimingJudaism.org. Ken yehi ratzon — may it be Hashem’s will Pnei HaSadeh, a Jewish Renewal learning community For every new or masterfully rethought — that we all rise to this opportunity, allow- in Silver Spring, MD. She has designed and facili- ritual in Jewish Renewal, there is another, ing the best of every possible moment to tated traditional and unique life cycle, study, medita- which in its keva (form) is done precisely as it unfold, to teach and to activate holiness in tion, holy day and Rosh Hodesh rituals. has been done for centuries or more; but in its our midst! ■

WINTER 2010 15 The Steinhardt Foundation for Jewish Life Non-Profit Org. 6 East 39th Street U.S. Postage 10th floor PAID New York, NY 10016 Rockville, MD Permit No. 800

Part of the efficacy of rituals is that we can easily trick ourselves into believing that our invented rituals were never new, re-embraced or remade. But the fact is that all of our rituals were at one point created. They were new and then, because they were embraced, they became real.

— VANESSA L. OCHS