Marriage 11 Kot16988 Ch11 260-283.Indd Page 262 1/9/10 2:43:45 AM User-F472 /Volumes/202/MHSF174/Kot16988/0078116988/Kot16988 Pagefiles
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kot16988_ch11_260-283.indd Page 261 1/9/10 2:43:35 AM user-f472 /Volumes/202/MHSF174/kot16988/0078116988/kot16988_pagefiles Marriage 11 kot16988_ch11_260-283.indd Page 262 1/9/10 2:43:45 AM user-f472 /Volumes/202/MHSF174/kot16988/0078116988/kot16988_pagefiles WHAT IS MARRIAGE? INCEST AND EXOGAMY EXPLAINING THE TABOO OURSELVES Although Tabooed, Incest understanding Does Happen Instinctive Horror ccording to the radio talk show psy- they may be mistreated by their husband or chapter outline Biological Degeneration chologist (and undergraduate an- in-laws, including the mother-in-law. Attempt and Contempt thropology major) Dr. Joy Browne, In contemporary North America, although Marry Out or Die Out A parents’ job is to give their kids neither women nor men typically have to adjust “roots and wings.” Roots, she says, are the eas- to in-laws living nearby full-time, confl icts with ENDOGAMY ier part. In other words, it’s easier to raise chil- in-laws aren’t at all uncommon. Just read “Dear Caste dren than to let them go. Has that been true of Abby” or listen to Dr. Joy Browne (cited previ- Royal Endogamy your parents with respect to you? I’ve heard ously) for a week. Even more of a challenge is comments about today’s “helicopter parents” learning to live with our spouse. Marriage al- MARITAL RIGHTS AND SAME-SEX MARRIAGE hovering over even their college-aged kids, us- ways raises issues of accommodation and ing cell phones, e-mail, and texting to follow adjustment. Initially the married couple is just MARRIAGE AS GROUP their progeny more closely than in prior gener- that, unless there are children from a previ- ALLIANCE ations. Do you have any experience with such a ous marriage. If there are, adjustment issues Bridewealth and Dowry pattern? will involve stepparenthood—and a prior Durable Alliances It can be diffi cult to make the transition be- spouse—as well as the new marital relation- DIVORCE tween the family that raised us (our family of ship. Once a couple has its own child, the family- orientation) and the family we form if we marry of-procreation mentality takes over. In the United PLURAL MARRIAGES and have children (our family of procreation). In States family loyalty shifts, but not completely, Polygyny contemporary America, we usually get a head from the family of orientation to the family that Polyandry start by “leaving home” long before we marry. includes spouse and child(ren). Given our bilat- We go off to college or fi nd a job that enables eral kinship system, we maintain relations with us to support ourselves so that we can live in- our sons and daughters after they marry, and dependently, or with roommates. In nonindus- grandchildren theoretically are as close to one trial societies people, especially women, may set of grandparents as to the other set. In prac- leave home abruptly when they marry. Often a tice, grandchildren tend to be a bit closer to their woman must leave her home village and her mother’s than to their father’s families. Can you own kin and move in with her husband and his speculate about why that might be? How is it for relatives. This can be an unpleasant and alien- you? Are you closer to your paternal or maternal ating transition. Many women complain about grandparents? How about your uncles and feeling isolated in their husband’s village, where aunts on one side or the other? Why is that? WHAT IS MARRIAGE? No defi nition of marriage is broad enough to apply easily to all societies and situations. “Love and marriage,” “marriage and the A commonly quoted defi nition comes from family”: These familiar phrases show how Notes and Queries on Anthropology: we link the romantic love of two individu- als to marriage and how we link marriage Marriage is a union between a man and to reproduction and family creation. But a woman such that the children born to marriage is an institution with signifi cant the woman are recognized as legitimate roles and functions in addition to repro- offspring of both partners. (Royal duction. What is marriage, anyway? Anthropological Institute 1951, p. 111) kot16988_ch11_260-283.indd Page 263 1/9/10 2:43:46 AM user-f472 /Volumes/202/MHSF174/kot16988/0078116988/kot16988_pagefiles This defi nition isn’t universally valid for sev- implications of the distinction between two genitor eral reasons. In many societies, marriages unite kinds of fi rst cousins: cross cousins and parallel A child’s biological more than two spouses. Here we speak of plural cousins (see Ottenheimer 1996). father. marriages, as when a man weds two (or more) The children of two brothers or two sisters are pater women, or a woman weds a group of brothers— parallel cousins. The children of a brother and a One’s socially recog- an arrangement called fraternal polyandry that is sister are cross cousins. Your mother’s sister’s nized father; not neces- characteristic of certain Himalayan cultures. In the children and your father’s brother’s children are sarily the genitor. Brazilian community of Arembepe, people can your parallel cousins. Your father’s sister’s chil- choose among various forms of marital union. dren and your mother’s brother’s children are exogamy Most people live in long-term “common-law” do- your cross cousins. Marriage outside a given mestic partnerships that are not legally sanctioned. The American kin term cousin doesn’t distin- group. Some have civil marriages, which are licensed and guish between cross and parallel cousins, but in legalized by a justice of the peace. Still others go many societies, especially those with unilineal de- incest through religious ceremonies, so that they are scent, the distinction is essential. As an example, Forbidden sexual rela- tions with a close united in “holy matrimony,” although not legally. consider a community with only two descent relative. And some have both civil and religious ties. The groups. This exemplifi es what is known asmoiety different forms of union permit someone to have organization—from the French moitié, which parallel cousins multiple spouses (e.g., one common-law, one civil, means “half.” Descent bifurcates the community Children of two brothers one religious) without ever getting divorced. so that everyone belongs to one half or the other. or two sisters. Some societies recognize various kinds of same- Some societies have patrilineal moieties; others sex marriages. In Sudan, a Nuer woman can marry have matrilineal moieties. cross cousins a woman if her father has only daughters but no In Figures 11.1 and 11.2, notice that cross cous- Children of a brother male heirs, who are necessary if his patrilineage is ins are always members of the opposite moiety and a sister. to survive. He may ask his daughter to stand as a son in order to take a bride. This daughter will be- come the socially recognized husband of another woman (the wife). This is a symbolic and social relationship rather than a sexual one. The “wife” 2 1 1 21 1 21 21 1 2 1 has sex with a man or men (whom her female “husband” must approve) until she gets pregnant. The children born to the wife are accepted as the offspring of both the female husband and the wife. 2 21 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 Although the female husband is not the actual genitor, the biological father, of the children, she is Cross cousins. Cross cousins : : Egos. their pater, or socially recognized father. What’s , belong to the opposite moiety , important in this Nuer case is social rather than from ego. Parallel cousins. Parallel 1, 2 : Patrimoiety biological paternity. We see again how kinship is : socially constructed. The bride’s children are , cousins belong to the same affiliation. moiety as ego. considered the legitimate offspring of her female “husband,” who is biologically a woman but so- cially a man, and the descent line continues. FIGURE 11.1 Parallel and Cross Cousins and Patrilineal Moiety Organization. INCEST AND EXOGAMY In many nonindustrial societies, a person’s social world includes two main categories: kin and 2 1 1 1 2 strangers. Strangers are potential or actual enemies. 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 1 Marriage is one of the primary ways of converting strangers into kin, of creating and maintaining per- sonal and political alliances, relationships of affi n- ity (affi nal relationships). Exogamy, the practice of 2 12 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 seeking a husband or wife outside one’s own group, has adaptive value because it links people Cross cousins. Cross cousins : : Egos. into a wider social network that nurtures, helps, , belong to the opposite moiety , from ego. and protects them in times of need. Parallel cousins. Parallel 1, 2 : Matrimoiety Incest refers to sexual relations with someone : , cousins belong to the same affiliation. considered to be a close relative. All cultures moiety as ego. have taboos against it. However, although the taboo is a cultural universal, cultures defi ne in- cest differently. As an illustration, consider some FIGURE 11.2 Matrilineal Moiety Organization. Chapter 11 Marriage 263 kot16988_ch11_260-283.indd Page 264 1/9/10 2:43:50 AM user-f472 /Volumes/202/MHSF174/kot16988/0078116988/kot16988_pagefiles BHUTAN Itanagar grams that your mother’s sister’s 0 50 100 mi ra put children (MZC) and your father’s ma ah 0 50 100 km Br brother’s children (FBC) always be- Guwahati long to your group. Your cross Dispur Naga Hills l s i l Kohima cousins—that is, FZC and MBC— H Shillong INDIA N belong to the other moiety.