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You Cannot Make This Sh$% Up!!

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You Cannot Make This Sh$% Up!! 4/3/2018 You Cannot Make This Sh$% Up!! IIMC 2018 CONFERENCE 1 The International Institute of Municipal Clerks (IIMC) Mission Statement: A professional, nonprofit association that promotes continuing education and certification through university and college‐based institutes and provides networking solutions, services and benefits to its members worldwide. 2 The Serenity Prayer 3 1 4/3/2018 Batten Down the Hatches, Away We Go… 4 The Bermuda Triangle The Bermuda Triangle is an area in the Atlantic Ocean in which an unusually high number of ships and planes have disappeared. People and laws can be so complicated and fraught with problems that you feel like you are lost in the Bermuda Triangle. 5 Does it feel like a Tsunami is Hitting You? 6 2 4/3/2018 Do Tell…… Your Best (Or Worst) “You Can’t Make This Sh#$ Up!” 7 8 9 3 4/3/2018 10 11 What are Your Daily Battles…… 12 4 4/3/2018 13 Workplace Bullying The repeated mistreatment of one or more employees/individuals with a malicious mix of humiliation, intimidation and sabotage of performance. Even more common than sexual harassment or verbal abuse. It is the deliberate, hurtful, repeated mistreatment of employees/individuals driven by desire to control. Bullying behavior may exist at any level of an organization. Bullies can be and often are managers and supervisors as well as co-workers. As reported by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute 14 Workplace Bullying Workplace bullying can generally be considered as negative acts directed toward employees/individuals. These include: • Intimidating or undermining employees/individuals by demeaning their work standards, not giving them credit, setting them up for failure and constantly reminding them of old mistakes. • Threatening employees’/individuals’personal self-esteem and work status. • Isolating employees/individuals from opportunities, information and interaction with others. • Giving impossible deadlines, creating undue pressure and stress, and overworking employees/individuals. As reported by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute 15 5 4/3/2018 Why do smart people do stupid things? Stupidity Paradox Functional Stupidity stems from herd behavior and convenience. Every employee needs good self‐esteem, independence and courage to think for themselves and question inflated visions, brands, core values and strategies. A workplace mindless, why being stupid might be a good thing in the short term but a disaster in the longer term. Make your workplace a little less stupid by challenging thoughtless conformity. Thus, harmony and action in the workplace can be balanced with a culture of questioning and challenge. Therefore we need to systematically combat stupidity! Mats Alvesson, Professor of Business Administration, Lund University School of Economics 16 Why do smart people do stupid things? Intelligence and rationality are not one and the same, nor are they necessarily even associated. Creative intelligence is our ability to deal with novel situations. Practical intelligence is our ability to get things done. Most intelligent people make mental short cuts all the time. One of the most powerful is self‐serving bias: we tend to think we are better than others. As a result the smartest people ignore the intelligence of others so they make themselves feel smarter. Mark McCartney 17 Why Are People Mean? Insecure Self‐Esteem, simply stated, People are mean to others in order to feel better about themselves due to: 1. Positive Distinctiveness ‐people have a need to feel unique from others in positive ways. 2. Downward Comparisons ‐people naturally make comparisons to other people that enable us to look down on other people. 3. Classical Projection ‐ see other people as dishonest, and this makes you, in a sense, feel more honest yourself. 4. Ego Threat ‐threatened self‐esteem is associated with a wide range of heightened aggressive behaviors. Nathan A Heflick Ph.D. 18 6 4/3/2018 What Makes a Person Mean and Cruel? They are Jealous; They feel a Sense of Entitlement; They are Insecure; They Threaten and Bully; They are Angry; They are Depressed. 19 And then there are more reasons…………… ◦ Lack of Empathy ◦ Lack social interest ◦ Narcissists ◦ Don't feel good about themselves ◦ Looking for recognition ◦ Sadistic tendencies ◦ Psychological problems ◦ Low self‐esteem ◦ Emotionally damaged ◦ A self‐protection mechanism ◦ Jealous ◦ Insensitive ◦ Anti‐social ◦ Project a certain identity 20 Why are People Mean and Cruel? Recognize that the meanness you may experience from others is either unintentional or is more about the mean person rather than about you, the less you personalize the meanness, the less impact it has on you. Unintentional meanness refers to behavior or statements that you may perceive as mean but that wasn't intended to be hurtful. Whereas malicious meanness is behavior or statements that have the purpose of hurting you. Most people are mean due to some flaw in themselves or distortion in their thinking. People who are mean will often find some minor thing that you have done so as to justify their meanness and blame you. People aren’t mean for the sport of it, or because they are against you; people are mean to cope. Monica A. Frank, Ph.D. 21 7 4/3/2018 Reasons Why People Are Mean 1. Lack of Skills/Knowledge or Awareness ‐ Not Noticing, Cultural, Little Insight, Lack of Social Skills & Tone 2. Miscommunication/Misunderstanding ‐ Negative Assumptions Directness & Indirectness 3. Misdirected Intentions 4. Self‐Protection 5. Reactive –Frustration, Stress 6. Superiority ‐ Superior by birth or achievement 7. Mental Disturbance –Mental Illness, Bi‐Polar, Psychopathy, etc. 8. Pleasure‐Seeking – Attention, Respect, Power, Money Monica A. Frank, Ph.D. 22 How to Respond to Mean/Cruel People Remember that you can control your response when someone does or says something mean. We may not be able to control much about our life circumstances, but with practice we can control how we respond to those circumstances. The most effective response to meanness is compassion. Where there is meanness, there is often a lot of pain, both in the unkind person and for the person on the receiving end of a mean joke, comment, or email. See mean people for what they really are—wounded and tiny and probably threatened. Frightened mice masquerading as roaring lions. Fight fire with water by sending loving thoughts to the people who hurt you. Christine Carter, Ph.D. 23 When self‐esteem is threatened, we are more likely to compare ourselves to people we think are worse off than us, to see other people as having more negative traits, to degrade people who aren't members of our groups, and to become more directly aggressive towards people in general. When you insult or criticize someone else, it may say more about how you are feeling about yourself than the other person. Insecurity over ourselves drives much of the cruelty in the world. 24 8 4/3/2018 Active Shooter/ Workplace Violence 25 26 Life Lessons ‐ Your Wheelhouse 1. Make yourself necessary and you will always be needed. 2. Your thoughts are like boomerangs. 3. You are more defined by what comes out of your mouth than what goes in it. 4. The journey of your success will always begin with the small step of taking a chance. 5. Your education is never complete. 6. Don't allow the voice of your fears to be louder than the other voices in your head. 7. A good reputation is more valuable than money. 8. You never really lose until you stop trying. 9. You get more by giving more. 10. Rule your mind or it will rule you. 11. Great heroes are truly humble. 12. Defeat isn't bitter if you're smart enough not to swallow it. By Lolly Daskal 27 9 4/3/2018 Life Lessons ‐ Your Wheelhouse cont’d 13. Your thoughts are powerful, make them positive. 14. Forgiveness benefits two people‐‐the giver and receiver. 15. The word impossible contains its opposite: "I'm possible." 16. Preparation is a stepping stone to success. “Failing to prepare means preparing to fail.” 17. Creating your own reality. 18. You are in control of your own heaven or hell. You're the master of your own destiny. 19. Envy consumes itself. 20. Don’t Be Bitter ~ Your attitude is always up to you! Choose Positivity! 21. Those who seldom make mistakes seldom stumble upon new innovation. 22. It's in losing yourself that you find yourself. 23. Apply your passion and always love what you do; Stay persistent and determined. 24. Be grateful every day, because that's the source of true power. By Lolly Daskal Get the Anchor off Your Ankles –The 5 C’s Courage Collaboration Communication Compassion Create Coaching Culture 29 Miscommunication/Misperceptions Get the Anchor off Your Ankle 4, if not, 5 generations: Millennials/Mentoring & Succession Planning Balancing Work and Family “Work‐Life Integration” Technology (24/7) & E‐Government Your Culture/Your Brand Bullying ‐ demanding mean insecure jealous people Harassment & “Me Too” Movement Workplace Safety & Workplace Violence “Active Shooter” 30 10 4/3/2018 Generational Learning Generation Grew up on… Preferred Learning Style Learning Motivation Traditionalists Newsprint and Radio Traditional classroom ‐ order and Contributing their own 70+ logic. experiences. Baby Boomer Television Classroom and interactive How learning contributes to 52‐70 learning – need time to translate them professionally and knowledge to master skills. personally. Generation X Television/personal Paced virtual or on‐line learning Gaining and maintaining 35‐51 computer –often ask “why”. Appreciate employment. constructive feedback. Millennials Internet, cable, Blended, on‐line learning with Learn and share knowledge and 18‐34 satellite radio emphasis on entertaining skills especially if it makes them activities. Case studies, role play, more employable and their lives hands on. less stressful. 31 Work‐Life Integration Work‐life integration allows people to work virtually anytime and anywhere.
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