2017 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner Law Weekly Wednesday, 8 November 2017 The Newspaper of the School of Law Since 1948 Volume 70, Number 10 It’s Better around north When She’s grounds An Auction for ANG Here: An can’t be- lieve ANG’s Interview saying this, but two thumbs up to SBA with Dean Altruism: PILA 2017 President Steven Glendon. Glendon finally made good Davies on his pledge to supply the Law School with Duck Do- Jenna Goldman ‘18 nuts, and saved a special one (she/her/hers) for ANG to boot! Out of grati- Editor-in-Chief tude for this sugary emolu- Lia-Michelle Keane ‘18 ment, ANG is shredding the (she/her/hers) forthcoming Law Weekly Features Editor investigation into Glendon’s corrupt finances and elector- August 26, 2017 was a al collusion with Darden. picturesque summer day. Dean Sarah Davies was out In light of the for a ride with friends, trot- Saudi Royal purge, ting with her horse, Clau- ANG would like to dia. A barn and rolling hills announce that, as served as the backdrop for a part of ANG’s corruption routine, leisurely ride before probe, Editor-in-Chief Jen- the bustle of the fall semes- na Goldman and Managing ter began. Editor Eric Hall have been Davies, who started rid- removed from power and ing at the age of nine, is an are currently confined in the accomplished equestrian. Omni Hotel. ANG has no fur- Beginning when she her ther comment at this time. horse a year and a half ago, she rode four to five times Thumbs up to per week. Earlier this sum- the UVa football mer, Davies and Claudia team for earning took home two blue ribbons bowl eligibility this in shows, and two days be- weekend. ANG is sorry ANG fore the accident she signed missed it; ANG was mak- up for another competition The Board of PILA enjoys the fruits of their labors. ing another valiant stab at in cross-country jumping. Photo courtesy of Jason Boyle the MPRE. Eighth time’s the “She is part draft horse so Gregory Ranzini ‘18 charm! she looks big and stocky, but (he/him/his) ever, there was an edge of des- nothing particularly wrong she is so light on her feet,” News Editor peration in Professor Geis’s with this year’s event. But Thumbs side- said Davies. voice as he hawked a week- there wasn’t anything par- ways to the end of The horses were graz- This year marks my third long beach-house rental with ticularly memorable about it, Daylight Savings. ing in a field adjacent to the (and final) opportunity to re- “An! Out! Door! Shower!” and either. I was probably not the Maybe that jerk of dressage and jumping arenas view the PILA Auction, and, came to realize just how few only who entertained a vague a bartender at Virg will stop when Davies signaled for her to be completely honest, I’m people were listening, even fantasy throughout that per- giving ANG shit for it being “a horse to lift her head up from tired of it—tired of writing among those who could hear haps it was still November little early for shots.” the grass. Then, out of no- about it, of course, but also over the din. 12, 2016—that I had forgotten where, her normally docile tired of the auction itself. All There were a few differenc- something in the coat-check Thumbs up to horse took off at a bucking indications were that those es from last year, of course. and returned to the venue to Shalane Flanagan gallop. Claudia took the bit in attendance this Saturday The Omni replaced its square find the bid-sheets erased, the becoming the first in her teeth so Davies had no shared my ennui. It was the flatbread pizzas with trian- chafing dishes refilled, and woman to win the control to stop her from tear- usual crowd. Gangly 1Ls wob- gular flatbread pizzas. (The the dried-up ballpoint pens NYC Marathon since 1977. ing across the field and leap- bled about on the dancefloor recipe, unfortunately, was replaced with other, equally ANG was going to run, but ing the barrier around the and made small-talk with unchanged, as was the man- dried-up ballpoint pens. I ex- still isn’t clear on how many dressage ring as she galloped their sections. Jaded 2Ls agement’s puzzling belief that pect that next year will prob- trips to MyLab make a mara- towards the nearby barn. hovered near the bid sheets, garage-door floodlights ad- ably see a return to the same thon. Is it 5K? How many Ks Luckily, Davies’s years of optimizing their strategy. At equately substitute for heat venue with a few incremental is it? Do they have donuts? training took over. She stood the appointed time, flush 3Ls lamps. Also: who puts out changes—a new, equally im- up in the stirrups and leaned took a break from cycling re- chicken satay without satay perceptible theme, at the very Thumbs down to over her horse like a jockey, peatedly through the bar line sauce? Barbarians, that’s least, and perhaps the return PILA being over. desperate to remain on the (“Do you know where the who.) Notwithstanding wor- of drinking tickets. It will ANG realizes that animal. ATM is? I need more cash for ries in the weeks leading up probably not see the return time to buy those fall “I remember thinking, if the bar—go to the one on that to this year’s auction that of 2015’s sullen, Kraftwerk- semester textbooks is quickly I let go, I will fall and I will end; she makes them strong there would not be sufficient cosplaying DJ, beer-slicked dwindling. die.” as fuck…”) to tender outra- items to hold a full silent auc- and perilously canted floor, or As the horse ran full speed geous sums for the usual live- tion, the tables were packed. mildly inebriated Uber driv- Thumbs up to toward the barn, Claudia auction junkets. The usual But it was absolutely the case ers—and that’s probably an Professor Garrett’s suddenly made a sharp left, polo-shirted rent-a-cops wan- that there were more dupli- improvement. See Gregory chair lecture on and the saddle slipped to the dered listlessly through the cate items in the silent auc- Ranzini, Sold: PILA Auction Friday. ANG pre- right, causing Davies to fall crowd, and the usual modi- tion this year, and less variety a Success, Raises Money for viewed it last week, and don’t to the ground. cum of two professors served generally— although there a Good Cause, Virginia Law worry, after revisions, it is “I don’t remember falling,” as auctioneers. was a tremendous variety of Weekly, Nov. 4, 2015, at 2 fewer than 100,000 slides! Davies said. “My friends fol- This year’s faculty repre- Robert F. Kennedy-themed (“Conscientious to a T, she lowed behind me, one of sentatives, Professors Jaffe tchotchkes, for whatever rea- had us confirm that our cho- Thumbs down to them called 911 while chas- and Geis, decked out in top son. Faced with a bank of sen drop-off point, the bus President Trump ing me at a full gallop.” Da- hats and glowing bow-ties, one-topping pizza vouchers stop at the foot of the law and Japanese Prime vies was unconscious for two did their level best to drum and a heavily-marked down school law, was ‘a safe spot to Minister Shinzo to three minutes before com- up enthusiasm for last year’s Derriere de Soie fitting par- walk from,’ because ‘you don’t Abe. ANG has long admired ing to. auction items, with mixed ty, priced to move because it look like fighters.’”). But the koi fish of Japan’s- im She spent the next week success: dessert with outgoing didn’t sell last year, a (male) there’s still probably some perial palace; Trump and in intensive care with a bro- President Sullivan and Pro- 3L commented to me, “I don’t room to innovate, at least so Abe’s reckless overfeeding of ken clavicle, scapula, seven fessor Laycock seems to have need another incentive to eat long as we don’t return to the these majestic aquatic beasts broken ribs on her right side lost much of its shine, but pizza, but I’d buy that lingerie Jefferson Theater. Wherever threatens to set back years of and a broken tibia plateau Pokémon Go with Professors shit, fuck.” Two very tiny gar- the auction is, however, the Japanese imperial fish man- (her knee) on her left side. In Schwartzman and Kendrick den gnomes seemed almost to Law Weekly will be there with agement. ANG hopes that all, she broke ten bones and has held its value far better accuse the indifferent masses the story next year. His Imperial Majesty Em- sustained a concussion and than the fad cellphone game who passed by their bid sheets --- peror Akihito will step in and temporary nerve damage to itself. For all that the evening without a second look. [email protected] right this wrong. DAVIES page 5 went according to plan, how- To be clear—there was 2 Spotlight Wednesday, 8 November 2017 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: SPOTLIGHT The Law Weekly reached out to affinity group leaders to write for us in a feature we are calling “Spotlight.” Our goal is to give leaders a regular platform to start conversations about issues they are facing, to reflect on the events of August 11th and 12th, and to educate the UVa Law community about their diverse experiences so that we can become better allies to our fellow classmates. If you or your organization would like to be featured, please reach out to us at [email protected].

In the Trump Era, the of an American soldier in whelming. It’s hard to know Hurricane Maria devas- looks to be patchy, at best.3 news happens so quickly Niger. Senator Corker and what to focus on and what to tated Puerto Rico, causing FEMA had to continue deliv- that it can be easy to lose President Trump continued tune out in the bad reality apocalyptic damage.2 More ering food and running wa- their feud. UVa Law Alum show that is America 2017. than a month later, the island ter four weeks after the hur- Minority Rights Coalition Robert Mueller readied his The Minority Rights Coali- remains in rough shape. Sev- ricane, a first in the agency’s sight of what really matters. first indictments.1 tion at UVa Law would like enty-five percent of Puerto history.4 Consider, for instance, what Take a deep breath. to suggest that you should Rico lacks reliable electric- We may never know how has occupied our attention Reading that list can be over- focus your attention, your ity and access to clean water many of our fellow Ameri- since Hurricane Maria made cans died as a result of this landfall in the Caribbean lit- storm because the over- tle more than a month ago. whelmed Puerto Rican gov- President Trump criti- ernment has allowed funeral cized NFL players protest- directors to burn bodies ing police brutality by call- without counting them in ing them SOBs; LeBron the death toll.5 As a result, James responded by calling many observers are con- him a bum. Trump threat- cerned that the death toll ened to destroy North Ko- could be far higher than re- rea. The Secretary of Health ported.6 In raw numbers, the and Human Services, Tom Price, resigned in disgrace 3 https://www.vox. due to his abuse of taxpayer com/policy-and-poli- funds. The president openly tics/2017/10/25/16504870/ feuded on Twitter with the puerto-rico-running-water Mayor of San Juan. The Las Vegas shooting happened. 4 Citing a tweet from President Trump announced https://twitter.com/David- plans to de-certify the Iran Begnaud in https://www. Deal, gut the Clean Power vox.com/policy-and-poli- Plan, and squash the birth tics/2017/10/25/16504870/ control mandate. Senator puerto-rico-running-water Bob Corker called the White House an adult daycare, 5 https://www.buzzfeed. prompting angry tweets from com/nidhiprakash/puerto- the president. The White Puerto Rican resident wades through flooded street after Hurricane Maria rico-cremations?utm_term=. House announced it would Photo courtesy of Hector Retamal/AFP/Getty Images dlAo0yB1nN#.xkVGypO5M8 not fund essential insurance energy, and your outrage subsidies, seriously damag- 1 This timeline constructed not on the president’s latest 6 https://www.buzzfeed. ing Obamacare. The Presi- from my own memory and tweet or embarrassing blun- com/nidhiprakash/puerto-rico- dent and his staff embroiled this helpful piece from AOL: der, but on the ongoing hu- 2.http://www.cnn. natural-causes?utm_term=. themselves in a week-long https://www.aol.com/news/ manitarian crisis in Puerto com/2017/09/25/us/hurricane- owqBabJK16#.aoEKNzdw7y controversy over the death trump-timeline/. Rico. maria-puerto-rico/index.html SPOTLIGHT page 6 Doing the Rounds: Golfing in Charlottesville At the University of Virginia, from Ivy Gardens, Birdwood is Dye design will have you feel- the bluegrass rough around the Meadowcreek Golf we are blessed with the opportu- a great place to go for a quick ing like Tin Cup at the US Open greens is deep. However, Dye Course nity to enjoy the great outdoors nine after classes on a weekday. (they even provide Titleist golf characteristically leaves closely Meadowcreek is the typical Taylor Huse ‘19 It’s also pretty affordable for the balls on the range). Though the mown bail-out areas on at least municipal golf course with a Guest Columnist quality of the course. Green fees course is private, the PILA auc- one side of the green, so your laid-back atmosphere and easier are $25 on weekdays and $40 on tion usually includes one or two score will depend on how well layout. It’s perfect for golfers on weekends. Cart fees are an addi- certificates granting a round to a you control your misses. The a budget or who are new to the in a manner that tional $12 for 9 holes and $22 lucky foursome, and who knows, fairways are more forgiving. game. It’s the shortest course in most at nation- for 18 holes. Birdwood also pro- you may meet a member dur- When I played, I couldn’t hit a the area, playing at only 6,073 ally ranked law yards from the back tees and schools cannot 4,595 yards from the women’s due to our location in Central tees; however, it’s only a par Virginia. Not only can you hike seventy with three par fives and the Shenandoah or compete on five par threes. The layout fea- the softball field, you can also get tures mostly tried and true hole out and enjoy several great golf designs, but a few holes play courses within a short drive of awkwardly (especially the first the school. As a lifelong golfer, I hole), so an experienced golfer played three of these courses and might want to steer clear. When provide my thoughts on them I played it in the spring, the bent here. grass greens were in surprisingly good shape, but the fairways Birdwood Golf Course were pretty beat up. Partially private and home of The course is located at Pen UVa’s golf team, Birdwood is a Park on the northeast side of solid track that will challenge town. On weekdays, eighteen you with elevation changes and holes costs $24 and nine holes several water features. The sig- costs $16. On weekends, eigh- nature hole is a downhill par teen holes will be $29, and nine three to an island green that is holes is $20. Carts are $11 for characteristic of the course in nine holes and $18 for eighteen that it is both challenging and holes. Here is the website for fair. This is not a long course, A lonely bridge extends accross a hazard at Birdwood Golf Course more information: http://www. especially by modern standards, Photo courtesy Virginia Golf Vacations meadowcreekgolf.org/. measuring only 6,316 yards from vides a student membership op- ing your 2L summer at a D.C. driver onto a landing strip, but With so many great course the men’s tees and 5,073 yards tion that runs at approximately firm who will invite you to play. the rough was manageable—this options within a short distance from the women’s tees. Experi- $450 a semester and $1,200 for Too far from D.C. you say? Don’t coming from a guy with a phy- from the school, this is the time enced golfers can also challenge the year. Here is a link to their worry, this place has a helipad sique more like Jim Furyk than to learn how to play golf or themselves by trying out the website for more information: for easy transportation (you’ll Tiger Woods. If you get to play sharpen your skills, especially if back tees which play at 6,907 https://www.boarsheadresort. see it on your left when you get this course, take time to soak in you’re a 2L or 3L.1 Get out and yards. The design provides a com/golf. through the security gate). the natural beauty of the perfect- play; you’ll be glad you did. mixture of long and short holes Being exclusive has its perks, ly manicured Virginia landscape, --- that will force you to hit most of Keswick Golf Club – Full mainly that the course is in pris- and don’t worry about holding [email protected] the clubs in your bag with some Cry Course tine shape. Bent grass greens roll anyone up, there will be no one reachable par fives on the front In a word, Full Cry is breath- as true as Augusta National, but playing behind you. If nothing nine and lengthy par fours on taking. Built in 2014 and rated good luck hitting them consis- else, check out the pictures on 1 However, as a 2L, I dispute the back nine. number three in Golfweek’s tently. They are small and sur- the website: https://www.kes- the claim that we are supposed Located only two miles from 2016 list of “Best Courses You rounded by litters of bunkers, wick.com/golf-club.htm. to have significant free time. the Law School and one mile Can Play in Virginia,” this Pete which are a small mercy since Lies. Wednesday, 8 November 2017 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 3 Faculty Lunch: Kristin Glover Originally from Atlanta, Kris- Although she enjoyed her time the community at-large for new issues as a result. In ad- nights spent briefing the cases tin Glover, a research librarian at the Corporation Counsel’s creating a collegial workplace. dition to helping professors in their Civil Procedure text- and Harvard University gradu- Office, when presented with Glover thinks that the positive researching complicated pa- books. Lia-Michelle Keane the option to return to UVa environment found at UVa Law per topics, Glover also assists In her spare time, Glover (she/her/hers) ‘18 Law, Glover found it impos- may be unique to our school students who are working on enjoys hiking, yoga, and de- Features Editor sible to turn down the offer. and said that it was one of her notes of their own and mem- scribes herself as an avid walk- Glover said that the prospect of favorite parts of being a stu- bers of the public with an in- er. Glover said that one of her ate, enrolled at working for UVa Law’s library dent and now a faculty mem- terest in researching the law. favorite parts of living in Char- the University of was particularly appealing be- ber at UVa Law. Specifically, Glover teaches Advanced Legal lottesville is being able to walk Virginia School cause she had enjoyed research she commended UVa Law Research, which builds on the from the Downtown Mall to the of Law after first and writing throughout law professors for their intellect, skills that students are typically countryside and watching the working in New York City’s af- school—Legal Research and but emphasized that it is their first exposed to during LRW. scenery change along the way. fordable housing department Writing (LRW) was one of her approachability and kindness The class uses practical meth- She loves poetry, though denies Eleanor Schmalzl ods to help students become having a single favorite author. (she/her/hers) ‘20 more familiar with databases Still, Glover cited Emily Dick- Staff Editor such as Westlaw and LexisNex- inson and Gwendolyn Brooks is before they head into prac- as being two of her mainstay and then for a tice. Glover asks all her stu- favorites. When asked what her non-profit that dents to select a an issue in the favorite restaurant is in Char- specialized in news that they are interested in lottesville, Glover enthusiasti- providing services to the city’s and to track related develop- cally responded that Tavola, homeless population. Accord- ments throughout the semes- an Italian restaurant located ing to Glover, her time at the ter. Glover said that one of her in the Belmont neighborhood, non-profit and an interest in favorite parts about teaching is a fabulous option and rec- housing matters inspired her is discovering the wide range ommended everything on the to ultimately attend law school. of interests that her students menu from the bruschetta to At the time, she thought she hold and watching them grow the more complex seafood would return to work in either increasingly confident in their dishes. Finally, Glover recom- city government or public ser- research abilities over time. mends taking the time to check vice, and in fact, Glover joined When asked if she has any out the Virginia Film Festival, New York City’s Corporation advice to share with students, which will be held in town No- Counsel’s Office after graduat- Glover suggested that they vember 9–12. Glover indicated ing. should begin thinking early on that attending the Film Festival Glover described her time about the importance of work- is a highlight for her each year at the Corporation Counsel’s life balance. Specifically, she and noted that it presents stu- Office as providing her with a recommended that students dents with a fun opportunity to great opportunity to see how should try to develop a com- see select movies before they cases develop firsthand and mitment to things that they can enter wide release. emphasized the practical dif- enjoy outside of work—things We thoroughly enjoyed ferences between reading about Research Librarian Kristin Glover that will allow them to clear meeting with Glover and en- court decisions compared to Photo courtesy of University of Virginia School of Law their heads when they start courage students to stop and drafting documents and being favorite courses—and while she that makes them a true plea- feeling overwhelmed. As we say hello when they see her involved in the discovery pro- was in practice. sure to work with. head into finals season, this around the library! cess. Glover said that working Returning to UVa Law As a research librarian, advice seems particularly pru- --- with highly experienced indi- has been a thoroughly enjoy- Glover works with a wide range dent, especially for 1Ls who [email protected] viduals was beneficial in help- able experience for Glover, of individuals on any given day may already be feeling anx- [email protected] ing her grow as an attorney. who praises her colleagues and and encounters an array of ious and worn down from late

viation- coincidentally two 9. What’s the best HOT continued from page things I would like to learn (or worst!) PG-rated A Letter to the more about. I could probably pick-up line you’ve ever BENCH gain some invaluable insight heard? Editor hanging around a person like “You dropped something him. Also, I hear he went to a …..” *Waits for person to Dear Virginia Law Weekly, that much. cool undergrad. look down.* “My jaw.” I’ve I have LRW in one hour (3) Honeycrisp apples, actually used this line with and should be working on my while more delicious to eat, 5. If you had to pick one some success but I think the Jessie Conover ‘20 are a terrible bobbing apple. song to play non-stop in girls who talked to me after Disgruntled Their large size and firm skin the background of your just felt bad for me. Reader make grasping them with life, what would it be? one’s teeth nearly impos- Gilderoy Lockhart by 10. What’s the best gift major memo sible. Combine that with the Ehiorobo. you’ve ever received? outline, yet I small aperture of a child’s 1 round trip ticket to any instead take the mouth and the frigid water 6. If you were a super- city in the continental U.S. time to write temperature of the bobbing hero, what would your after graduating from col- to you about a petty issue in water and you are practically Eli Mekonen ‘20 superpower be? lege (I chose Seattle). [last] week’s Virginia Law accusing the Community Fel- (he/him/his) The ability to never get Weekly. lows of torturing young chil- tired or hungry. Eating and 11. If you could know I wish to call attention to dren. Shame on you. 1. What is your favor- sleeping are massive time one thing about your fu- an inaccuracy in the article ti- I read-skim the Virginia ite word? sinks. The average person ture, what would it be? tled “Young Children Terror- Law Weekly at least once a It’s a tie between behoove spends over 260,000 hours Whether I will be a prac- ize North Grounds.” The re- month and I am astounded and poltergeist. eating and sleeping. By com- ticing attorney long-term or porter referred to the apples at the uncharacteristic lack parison, it only takes about change careers. in the Community Fellows’ of professionalism on display 2. Where did you 2,000 hours of practice to apple bobbing tub as “Hon- here. For the love of print grow up? become fluent in another lan- 12. Backstreet Boys or eycrisps,” which is worthy of media please factcheck your I split my childhood and guage, and less than 62,000 *NSYNC? correction for three reasons: articles, particularly when teenage years between Chi- hours to visit every country *NSYNC, and it isn’t really (1) They were not Honey- it’s an issue of high import cago and the D.C. area. Chi- in the world. close. No Strings Attached crisps. They were Empire ap- such as a terrorism exposé. cago definitely feels more and Celebrity are incredible ples. Honeycrisps are larger, like “home,” though. I go 7. What did you have albums. The Backstreet Boys juicier (owing to their larger Faithfully yours, back at least once a year and for breakfast this morn- never matched *NSYNC’s cells), and ideal for eating Jessie I hope to start my legal ca- ing? star power or penchant for raw. Empires are a much reer there. A banana, croissant, and making outright bangers. more standard, old school *This is a rhetorical “we.” a cup of coffee. My normal “lunch box apple” that is per- I have no authority to speak 3. What’s the best meal breakfast, plus a banana and 13. What’s your favor- fectly fine but not great. They on behalf of the Community you’ve ever had? a croissant. itething to do in Char- are also smaller, on average, Fellows. Anything at Sweetwater lottesville? than Honeycrisps. This factu- --- Tavern in Centreville, VA. 8. What’s your most Eat apple pie with vanilla al inaccuracy alone would be [email protected] The white chocolate bread interesting two-truths- ice cream at Carter’s Moun- enough to issue a retraction, pudding is so good. Some- and-a-lie? (And what’s tain Orchard. but I will continue neverthe- times, I tear up when I eat it. the lie?) less. **Editor’s note: The Law I met Jesse Jackson, 14. If you could make (2) Do you know how much Weekly apologizes for the 4. If you could meet Chance the Rapper, and one law that everyone Honeycrisps cost? We* ap- error, we guess, but also ap- one celebrity, who would Kanye West all in Chicago. had to follow, what preciate the compliment, but plauds this diligent reader it be and why? Kanye was the lie. I met would it be? we are not about to spend for her knowledge of apples Paul Tudor Jones. He’s Jesse Jackson in a small Chi- Mandatory (and free) upwards of $3 per child for and willingness to confront pretty knowledgeable on cago airport and went to el- courses in civics, consumer a little fall-themed fun. Even others about apple-based the subjects of asset man- ementary and middle school economics, and sociology. Section G with their full-size ignorance. The world needs agement and poverty alle- with Chance the Rapper. candy bar wheel didn’t spend more Jessies.** 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 8 November 2017 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Exchequer The Court of Petty Exchequer is the moste high bench of Her Majesty’s Chamber at UVa Law. The Court has the power to effectuate its noble jurisdiction over any conflict, dispute, &c, that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court is composed of whichso- ever barons the House of Lords so chuses. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: the Virginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all conflicts to [email protected].

if the Court should be of the Doe v. Gunner of the matter aforesaid was and sneezed continuously, he had any alternative, e.g., opinion that either objection 2 C.P.B. 786-790; 14 C. threatened with the transmis- and filled his pockets with reading of the Power-Points was well founded. P.Ex. 183 (2017). sion of the Spanish-influenza. clumps of tissue coated thick- or class recordings, he was li- The jury returned a ver- ly with his own secretions, able. dict for the plaintiff, damages Reporter: Archibald The cause was tried be- which, overflowing, piled To this direction the coun- 69£, 2s., 11d ½. McVeigh fore Ranzini, Ch. J. at the on the floor by the plaintiff. sel for the defendant again ex- sittings at Albemarle, after Red-eyed, shivering, his nos- cepted, inasmuch as the class- Davies, Serjt., in Hilary Case. The declaration stat- St. Chad’s Day Term instant. trils raw and philtrum slicked rooms maintained always the Term instant, pursuant to ed that the defendant, before The facts that appeared in with mucus, the defendant circulation of the pure air to the leave reserved to her, ob- and at the time of committing evidence were as follow: The nevertheless continued to ap- forestall the arisal of miasma, tained a rule nisi to enter a the grievance thereinafter defendant, GUNNER, had pear in classes, racked though there could not be said to be a nonsuit, on the grounds urged mentioned, was seized with displayed increasing signs of he was with grippe. threat of transmission of the at the trial. She referred to contagious disease, of great malaise beginning from the On behalf of the defendant Spanish-influenza, it being Mondegreen v. Portmanteau, severity, viz., the Spanish- 55 R.P.R. 319, Quarman v. influenza, and at the time of Burnett Gun-cotton Works, committing of the said griev- ou may stand there, if you 55 R.R. 717, (6 M. & W. 499), ance, was, and from thence Sugden v. O’Geran, a Lunatic, had been, and still was, a stu- 1 Jo. & Lat. P.R. 872, Garwood dent of the College of Law at please. Were the bar a few v. Fooks, Jubber, & Butt (8 the University of Virginia at “Y Beav. P. 183) Ex parte Joliffe, Charlottesville, yet while he (8 Beav. 168-176), Regina v. was so afflicted of the same paces closer to our bench I should cover Approximately 3500 cwt. Af- disease, aforesaid, wrong- ghan Opium, 1 D.D.F.H. 241 fully and unjustly came into (2 K.M. & El. P. 36); In re the the classroom where was the my mouth and nose with my periwig.” Junk “Wu-Tang”, 1 M.C.A. plaintiff, DOE engaged in his 1992 (2 R.Z.A., G.Z.A., & studies and, vi et armis, &c., O.D.B. 36c). &c., did there wrongfully and -C.B. Goldman injuriously sneeze, cough, Davies, Serjt. in support of and wipe his nose with pa- first of October. By the fifth, was urged a deficiency in the further urged that the theory her rule: The defendant was per-handkerchiefs which he he had ceased to nod obsequi- plaintiff’s pleading, stipu- of contagionism lately urged under a supervening require- strewed about him, without ously along with the Estates lating by this motion to the in the symposia by Dr. Snow, ment to attend class under regard for the eyes then upon master and begun incessantly fact of the illness but submit- and on which the plaintiff’s any circumstances, the effect him in that place, or the si- to clear his throat instead. ting that its noxious effects case depended, was but mod- in law of which was, that he lence of the classroom, or the By the seventh, he was fe- extended only to the defen- ish, Continental speculation. must, unless absolutely con- space propriate to DOE the verish and drowsy in the af- dant, the plaintiff’s injury On the question of necessity fined to bed, attend his lec- plaintiff, or the gross indecen- ternoon sittings. An Agency being purely speculative. In it was further submitted, on tures. And so I rest. cy of his conduct, expelling professor testified that from alternative it was urged that the strength of Tanner v. Li- thereby a great quantity of ca- this date GUNNER’s mood an affirmation of necessity chfield, 1 Bos. & N.P.R. 404, Jani, Serjt. in support of his tarrh, spittle, and other mat- had become so subdued that barred the plaintiff’s case, [Over. Cramsworth v. Fan- rule: The defendant was in a ter, all being materia morbis; he lacked something of “his on the strength of Temperley nyston & Hounslow Steam- condition so offensive as to and producing by his expec- usual compulsion to get the v. Craunchston Water-Gas, Aëronautical. Co. (1823) 4 manifestly exceed the bounds torations sights and sounds last word in” and though he Ltd. 4 Q.P.B. 298. and Ex P.Ex 244, 20 L.P.J. Ex. 65.]; of decency, besides the obvi- unseemly and insupportable; yet took every opportunity rel. 14 Unidentified Orphans that if a reasonable man in the ous hazard to others of his during all which time the to quibble pedantically with v. Hounslow Cat-gut Manu- defendant’s position might vile state; and it is a venerable plaintiff thereby suffered and the professor, he no longer factory, Ltd. 4 Q.P.B. 335.; have been found in class, then maxim of the law, that he who underwent great pain in the sought out every chance to and that the plaintiff, hav- the defendant might not be li- comes before the court must seeing and hearing of it, and obscurely gainsay the other ing received no inoculations able. come with clean hands. And was in consequence of these pupils. By the ninth, his of- against Spanish-flu, was so Leave was reserved to the emissions prevented from at- fering of prolix hypotheticals far contributory to the injury defendant to enter a nonsuit, COPE page 5 tending to, or working at the had declined to a truly won- of which he complained, as to reading of law, and from per- derful extent; he seemed at disentitle him to maintain an forming and transacting his once to have become a regular action at law. Faculty Quotes other lawful and necessary damp squib. From the tenth, His Lordship summed affairs and business by him to the voice transformed finally up the evidence to the jury, J. G. Hylton: “Dueling, as A. Deeks: “I wish my name be performed and transacted, from adenoidal to croaking. and told them, that, if they it turns out, was not nearly as was ‘Stellar Wind.’” and thereby lost great gains From the eleventh, it stopped thought the defendant was dangerous as people in our which he might and otherwise altogether; beside the obtru- absolutely and manifestly time imagine – tell that to J. Mahoney: “You may would, have acquired; to wit, sive book-stand he invariably compelled to attend classes Alexander Hamilton, right?” think I’m heartless because studying for the end-of-term carried to his classes a box of then he could not be held re- I take the mailers with cute exams and; that the plaintiff, paper handkerchiefs now ap- sponsible for the injury done K. Kordana: “ yeah, yeah, animals in distress and throw by means of the expulsion peared; into these he coughed to the plaintiff; but, that, if yeah, that’s right, yeah, yeah them in the trash.” that’s right, yeah yeah right.” F. Schauer: “Groundhogs D. Brown: “It’s ok to be are adorable. This I take to be dating and driving around non-controversial.” Virginia Law Weekly with a drug dealer. It’s not a good life choice, but it’s not Heard a good professor COLOPHON illegal.” quote? Email [email protected]! Jenna Goldman (she/her/hers) ‘18 Prisoner #24601 (Editor-in-Chief)

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EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear the name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns must either be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, or be mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Sub- missions must be received by 12 p.m. Sunday before publication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters and/or columns over 1200 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissions for length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting our guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published. Wednesday, 8 November 2017 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Columns 5 DAVIES totally irrational, but I feel School let us hire Kate. It come the incoming first can’t plan for such traumatic continued from page 1 like she took away some- was so important to have an years and be there for my 2L events.” thing I love,” Davies said office that can be fully func- and 3L students.” “It’s great to be back,” Da- her right hand. emotionally. “Riding was a tional even if one of us is “I’m impatient to be bet- vies said with a smile. “The “It could have been so place I could go to decom- absent,” Davies continued, ter—it’s hard to let other doctor cleared me to start much worse,” said Davies, press—I am always a ‘future praising Duvall for seamless- people take care of you when going back part-time on a “Because of the strength I thinker’—and riding helped ly taking over many aspects you are usually the one tak- Friday and I was at the Law built up from riding inten- me stay present.” of Student Affairs during Da- ing care of others.” This is a School the following Mon- sively for the last year and a Davies applauded the help vies’s recovery. lesson she hopes to impart to day.” half, I was able to hold on [to and support she received Initially, Davies underes- her students: “Many lawyers As positive as Davies re- the horse] for much longer from her colleagues. “Lisa timated the amount of time are not comfortable asking mains about being back, than I would have if I didn’t recovering from the con- have the strength.” cussion made going back to Davies quickly went into work difficult. Even the half surgery to place a titanium days were exhausting: “As plate in her clavicle. “I’m a soon as I got home I would million dollar woman!” she sleep for the rest of the day. joked as she discussed the I now feel so much experi- procedure. ential empathy for students After recovering in a re- with concussions.” habilitation hospital for two As shocking as the acci- weeks and at home for four dent was, Davies saw the weeks, Davies returned to silver lining in the experi- the Law School. The day be- ence: “When awful things fore this interview, nine and happen, it’s okay to say they a half weeks after the ac- are awful—but you need cident, Dean Davies was fi- to find what is joyous and nally cleared to walk without good. I forced myself to find crutches. things to be grateful for and When asked whether she it helped me through the will ever get back on the toughest points in my recov- horse, she replied, “Right ery.” now, I don’t know.” Davies Davies was appreciative of still has about a year’s worth the outpouring of love and of recovery left on her knee support she received from alone before she will be able the UVa Law community. to withstand the physical de- She read each card, email, mands of riding. and banner she received “Then there is the men- Assistant Dean for Student Affairs Sarah Davies while in the hospital and at tal aspect.” Throughout her Photo courtesy of University of Virginia School of Law home. “At UVa Law we really life as an equestrian, Davies and Kate have been tremen- she would need to recover. for help, but it is the healthi- do look out for one another.” dreaded losing control of a dous in handling my work- She said with a laugh, “I est thing to do. There is no Dean Davies is slowly but galloping horse. “My biggest load while I was recover- called Lisa and said ‘I will shame in asking for help.” surely marching back to her fear was realized, and that ing.” Lisa Napier and Kate be back in the office in two That, and to be careful out active self, and encourages will be a big mental hurdle Duvall kept Davies informed weeks.’” there: “Three weeks before all students to stop by her of- for me to overcome.” of school happenings, but re- While describing her ex- my accident, my husband fice to introduce themselves There is also the anger and lieved her of the stress of the perience in the hospital and totaled his motorcycle. In or to just say hello! frustration that came with day-to-day administration of later in rehab, Davies said, both of our accidents, we --- such a devastating injury. the office. “It was hard to disconnect. were wearing helmets, and [email protected] “I’m mad at my horse. It is “I am so thankful the Law I wanted to be there to wel- they saved our lives. You [email protected]

COPE sua sponte, we will construe Top Three Local Vineyards continued from page 4 the action now at bar. It is a Name: White Hall Vine- When you went: Friday When you went: Week- rule now long established in yards (Rank #3) morning/afternoon end afternoon so in the case of the class- our jurisprudence that it is When you went: Week- Best for small or big Best for small or big room also. nowise only the most outra- end afternoon groups? Either, can accom- groups? Either; it can ac- geous crimes and torts that modate large groups easily for commodate large group with Hall, B: It is well shewn, deserve the severest mea- Carly Crist ’19 tasting its large outdoor area, so it and we do not now deny it sures in their relief; and he (she/her/hers) General vibe: The em- is easy to hang outside with a tends to annoyance to come who is chafed at the soul by Guest Columnist ployees were extremely large group to drink wine. into the presence of another the venial, yet still madden- friendly and knowledgeable General vibe: Large open with a disease that is commu- ing missteps his brother men Best for about the wines. They han- tasting room with the word nicable, as e.g., consumption, may make, will find his relief small or big dled a very large group with “LOVE” made out of wine fly-blows, or the gaol-fever. at the bar of H.M. Courts of groups? Small ease and were fun with us, es- corks hanging from the ceil- But we cannot thereby say Petty Exchequer. True, it was General vibe: The em- pecially as they gave us addi- ing, an enormous lawn with that good claim will always lie not always so; but if the de- ployees were phenomenal and tional wines to try during the vineyards in sight, and a beau- thereby. I would have submit- fendant finds cause to gripe did everything they could to tasting. However, there were tiful view of the mountains. ted to the jury the instruction with our verdict he must re- have us enjoy our tasting ex- a handful of fruit flies in the Favorite Wine from urged by the defendant. flect upon the fate visited perience. room. that vineyard: I really can’t upon the egregiously sickly Favorite wine from that Favorite wine from that choose. This is my favorite van der Meulen, B: I cannot defendant who came before vineyard: Gewürztraminer, vineyard: The fruit and des- winery because it is the only agree with my brother Baron Littleton, C.J. at the sitting as that is not common to have sert wines; most vineyards one where I liked every single Hall. Whether viewed from of the Court of Pettie Exche- at a tasting don’t have them, but Horton wine at the tasting (white, red, prudence towards the body of quer at Michaelmas Term in Anything interesting has many of both to try and all and in between). However, I the defendant or of the shock- the 29th of the reign of Henry about the vineyard that are delicious. would recommend the Viog- ing vileness of Gunner’s con- II Plantagenet, and sneezed makes it different from Anything interesting nier, because while it is made duct and its manifest super- upon the Justice. In the re- others? They brought out about the vineyard that with the Virginia grapes— and fluity I am convinced that the cord it is given: “And for the actual grapes for us to try makes it different from so almost every vineyard here court below could have made this, an indictment was im- while we were doing the wine others? With the tasting, you has it—it is better at Veritas no error in instructing the mediately drawn against the tasting. Right outside, they get to choose which ten wines than many of the others. jury. And so, &c., I affirm,&c. defendant and his nose was also have trees that grow paw- to try out of more than forty, Anything interesting amputated and fixed to a gib- paws. A pawpaw is a fruit that and not everyone in the group about the vineyard that Goldman, C.B.: I am quite bet, on which he was immedi- has the texture of an avocado has to try the same ten. When makes it different from in agreement with my brother ately hanged in the presence but tastes tropical, like a man- I was there, they actually gave others? On the second Sat- Baron van der Meulen; and at of the court; and his lands es- go. The guy pouring our tast- us more than ten, as they kept urday of each summer month the threshold I take notice cheat, he being thus adjudged ing brought one in for us to asking if we wanted to try dif- (June, July, August, Septem- that the counsellors before a felon.” eat and before we left we were ferent ones. Next to each wine ber) they host an outdoor con- us likewise appear most won- able to go outside and collect and its description on their cert on , and people derfully poorly to-day. I infer Affirmed. as many as we wanted to take list is a nickname, like “Pizza bring picnics and enjoy wine the learned gentlemen have --- home with us. Wine,” “Sippin’ Red,” “White while listening to music. This conferred a trifle closely with [email protected] Quality of “free” wine Burgandy,” or “Spanish De- August, I attended when they the defendant. You may stand tasting glass (1 to 5): I light.” hosted the Legwarmers. there, if you please. Were don’t believe the glass was in- Quality of “free” wine Quality of “free” wine the bar a few paces closer cluded, but at $5 for the reg- tasting glass (1 to 5): The tasting glass (1 to 5): 5, to our bench I should cover ular tasting and $10 for the glass is not free, but the tast- you get a free glass with each my mouth and nose with my reserve tasting, paying a few ing was significantly cheaper tasting and some events held periwig. dollars for a glass is not bad than most at $6, making a $3 there. I currently have a set of We think the rule is, that at all! glass very reasonable four Veritas glasses. the case is pled rightly not in --- case or nuisance, as the plain- Name: Horton Vineyards Name: Veritas Vineyard & [email protected] tiff urges, but in the action for (Rank #2) Winery (Rank #1) Douche-baggerie; wherein 6 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 8 November 2017 SPOTLIGHT Indifference—or out- have the word count to dive bers of the Minority Rights ity show. Focus your atten- continued from page 2 right hostility—to Puerto into the shadow of colo- Coalition ask our friends tion—and your time and tal- Rico in other areas has in- nialism displayed through and classmates to do three ent—on the injustices that storm could cost Puerto Rico fected the response to Maria. PROMESA and the Puerto things. really animate you, whether up to $95 billion.7 It may set An old shipping regulation Rican debt crisis,14 or the ap- First, give (or continue to that’s tabling for Puerto Rico the island back decades. called the Jones Act, for in- palling behavior of Puerto give to) relief efforts in Puer- or protesting against police The response to Hur- stance, has been driving up Rico’s creditors since Maria to Rico. The link in the foot- brutality. ricane Maria and Puerto the cost of living unneces- hit the island,15 or the po- note below is a good place to Finally, stay involved in Rico’s devastation differed sarily in Puerto Rico for de- tential for Puerto Ricans to start.17 politics. Puerto Ricans de- markedly from the response cades.11 After public outcry, reshape the electoral map of Second, tune out the noise. serve both statehood and to Hurricane Harvey hitting the Trump administration Florida (and the country) in It’s all too easy to get dis- effective representation in Texas and Hurricane Irma waived the regulation after 2020.16 Instead, the mem- tracted by the latest uproar Congress.18 Until then, it is sweeping through Florida. Maria, so supplies could get in the ongoing Trump real- our obligation to vote, and FEMA responded more slow- to the island cheaply. The 14 https://newrepublic. vote often, until the admin- ly and with fewer personnel Trump administration, out com/article/132307/coloniz- litico.com/states/florida/ istration can no longer af- for Maria than it did for Har- of incompetence or outright ing-puerto-rico story/2017/09/27/puerto-rican- ford to be apathetic. vey and Irma.8 Private dona- malice, recently let that devastation-could-mean-more- --- tions for Harvey, especially, waiver expire.12 Concerns 15 https://theintercept. florida-voters-114762 [email protected] far outpaced similar efforts about corruption involving com/2017/09/27/puerto-rican- for Maria.9 And, of course, a $300 million rebuilding debt-holders-respond-to-cata- 17 http://www. 18 This proposition has the President of the United contract caused a firestorm strophic-hurricane-by-offering- businessinsider.com/how- overwhelming support in Puerto States did not attack the before the contract was can- puerto-rico-more-debt/ to-help-puerto-rico-hurri- Rico, but Congress has yet to act. Mayor of Houston on Twit- celled over the weekend.13 cane-maria-2017-9/#the-unit- http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/09/ ter, or question whether Tex- This column does not 16 https://www.po- ed-funds-of-puerto-rico-1 us/puerto-rico-statehood- ans deserved aid after trag- vote-2017/index.html edy struck. Trump’s apathy many-trump-voters-who-got- reflects that of his support- hurricane-relief-in-texas- ers, like the Trump voters in arent-sure-puerto-ricans-shou Houston who received aid ld/2017/10/20/32da835c-b34 after Harvey but do not be- 4-11e7-9e58-e6288544af98_ lieve Puerto Ricans deserve story.html?utm_ the same helping hand.10 term=.182f82e5458b

7 http://money.cnn. 11 https://www. com/2017/09/28/news/econ- vox.com/policy-and-poli- omy/puerto-rico-hurricane- tics/2017/9/27/16373484/

maria-damage-estimate/index. jones-act-puerto-rico html Enjoy! GMT. 2017 01:14:57 7 Nov Tue on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated 12 http://thehill.com/ 8 http://www.cnn. latino/354561-white-house- com/2017/09/26/us/response- lets-jones-act-waiver-expire- harvey-irma-maria/index.html for-puerto-rico

9 http://www.cnn. 13 http://abcnews. com/2017/09/26/us/response- go.com/US/puerto-ricos-gov- harvey-irma-maria/index.html ernor-whitefish-power-agree- Cartoon By Ali ment/story?id=50795922&cid= 10 https://www.wash- clicksource_4380645_2_three_ ingtonpost.com/politics/ posts_card_hed

TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? WEDNESDAY – November 8, 2017 11:30 AM West Coast Lunch Purcell Free Yes Kelo, Take Two: Should 11:30 AM Eminent Domain Warriors WB 128 Free Yes, Baja Bean Co. SUDOKU Fight On? Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.49)

12:00 PM Careers in Human Rights WB 104 Free No

WB First Floor Knitting/Crochet Study 9 3 2 2:00 PM Lounge 3— Free Snacks Break Northernmost THURSDAY – November 9, 2017 8 9 4 7 1 Diversity in Public Interest 11:45 AM Purcell Free Yes Panel 1 7 9 McCorkle Lecture: Black Citizenship, Law, and the 4:00 PM Caplin Pavilion Free No Founding with Annette 8 6 Gordon-Reed Elmaleh Gallery, Campbell Hall, 7 2 3 5 t The New American Garden 5:30 PM School of Free No Gallery Talk Architecture at UVa 5 1 For purchase, but it’s for a 6:00 PM BLSA Community Night Kardinal Hall Free good cause, so don’t be 5 6 1 cheap. FRIDAY – November 10, 2017 o c k e Sokol Colloquium: The Yes, lunch will be served 1 2 8 6 3 9:00 AM – Foreign Corrupt Practices Purcell Free but don’t be all 1L about it 3:45 PM Act at 40 and only show up for food. Brandon Garrett Chair 9 5 7

D No, but congratulations Lecture, "End of its Rope: Prof. Garrett. We can’t wait 11:45 AM What Explains the Decline Caplin Pavilion Free to see how you incorporate in American Death Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Tue Nov 7 01:14:57 2017 GMT. Enjoy! Hamilton into this lecture.

h e Sentences? SATURDAY – November 11, 2017 Solution

T The 30th Annual Virginia No, check schedule for

All Day Various locations Free to $10 2 8 4 7 5 1 6 9 3

Film Festival more information SUNDAY – November 12, 2017 5 3 6 9 4 8 7 2 1

The 30th Annual Virginia Free to No, check schedule for All Day Various locations 9 1 7 2 6 3 5 4 8

Film Festival $10 more information UVA Flute Ensemble Fall UVa Rotunda 3 9 1 6 8 7 2 5 4 1:00 PM Free

Recital Dome Room

MONDAY – November 13, 2017 4 5 8 3 9 2 1 7 6 Do Cities Have Free Speech 7 6 2 5 1 4 8 3 9

Rights? Confederate 4:45 PM Monuments, Sanctuary Purcell Free Not sure. 6 4 9 8 7 5 3 1 2

Cities, and State-Local

Conflict 1 7 3 4 2 6 9 8 5 Energy Law 101 with Baker 8 2 5 1 3 9 4 6 7 5:15 PM WB126 Free Yes, dinner will be served

Botts TUESDAY – November 14, 2017 0.49) rating difficulty (Medium, 1 Puzzle Refreshments, but do donors really give because All Day Thank a Donor Day H-W Hallway Free they hope to receive a card from millennials?