THe aGin snaps: THeSTOIYOn SHane canv aarp's Kevin craic r GOHI caLenzrar iarriMYOwnwiFe vol 15 issue 9 vaLeriTine's GIFT GUIDC 0 2> f^ my FaBTiLous Disease Tippirr OUT FOTT LauDerDaLe "74470M2513A I )ii & LOcaL ceLeB ROB NEW JERSEY ANTI-BUL- for couples struggling with fertility issues. exploited the suffering of countless brave ther economic opportunities for LGBT busi Fertility LifeLines can be accessed free of and patriotic American families by protest ness owners. LYING BILL OF RIGHTS charge at: www.FertilityLifeLines.com. ing the funerals of innocent victims and fallen heroes. Westboro Baptist Church has "The White House has been incredibly sup New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed a Couples can receive a free copy of In The held up signs at the funerals of fallen sol portive of our work," says Justin Nelson, co- landmark Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights into Know by registering at Family Building Op diers, saying "Thank God for lEDs." "Pray for founder and president of the NGLCC. "We're law. The legislation, passed almost unani tions or by calling the toll-free hotline at 1- More Dead Soldiers" and "God Killed Your so thrilled to have a partner in this adminis mously by both houses of the state legisla 866-LETS-TRY (1-866-538-7879). Son." Before the families of victims of Sep tration that understands and values diver ture in November, is the toughest state tember 11th, they held up signs saying sity." anti-bullying law in the country. The new GLAAD DEMANDS "Thank God for 9/11" and "God Hates Amer law mandates specific anti-bullying proce ica." Westboro has picketed the funerals of During Wednesday evening's welcome re dures for schools across the state and also RADIO OUTLETS hate crime victims with placards reading ception on Capitol Hill, Senator Al Franken covers public universities. RESCIND AIRTIME TO "God Wants Your Son Dead" and "God Hates spoke passionately of his support of LGBT WESTBORO BAPTIST Fags." rights, including a new anti-bullying bill he NEW RESOURCES FOR is co-sponsoring that would require colleges CHURCH This week Westboro has reacted to the receiving federal money to include sexual SAME-SEX COUPLES tragedy in Tucson with messages like "God orientation and gender identity and part of LOOKING TO START OR The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Sent the Shooter." their anti-harassment policies. BUILD THEIR FAMILIES Defamation (GLAAD) has called on the na tionally syndicated Mike Gallagher Show. GLAAD launched an online action for con Karen Mills of the Small Business Adminis Family building options have expanded for KXXT-AM in Tolleson, Arizona, and CFNY-FM, cerned community members and allies to tration (SBA), Rep. Tammy Baldwin and Rep. same-sex couples in recent years, in part 102.1 "The Edge" in Toronto to rescind their send e-mails to the media outlets. The ac Jared Polis all discussed diversity and inclu- because of increased fertility treatment op offers to reward the Westboro Baptist tion had over 1,500 participants as the first siveness as well as important legislation tions. Even/family is different and no rules Church with airtime. morning. For more information: like the Small Business Jobs Act and pro apply to all families and circumstances. www.glaad.org/nowestboro. grams at the SBA that are available to help The radio outlets agreed to host the West LGBT businesses at Thursday's "A World of According to the 2000 U.S. Census, there boro Baptist Church after it announced THE NGLCC WRAPS UP Opportunity" opening breakfast. Gary Locke, are approximately 600,000 same-sex cou plans to picket the funeral of Christina Tay NATIONAL BUSINESS the U.S. Department of Commerce Secretary ples in the United States and many same- lor Green, the nine-year-old girl tragically gave the NGLCC Champion of Enterprise sex couples want the experience of having killed last weekend in Tucson. The group AND LEDERSHIP CON keynote on Friday morning. Secretary Locke children. Are you one of them? If so, you may also called off additional plans to picket the FERENCE IN D.C. spoke about economic recovery. President want to check out some new resources funeral of U.S. District Judge John Roll after Obama's National Export Initiative and how available for same-sex couples. the Mike Gallagher Show, a nationally syndi LGBT businesses can benefit from becoming cated radio show reaching millions, offered The National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of more actively involved in exporting. He also the group a platform to, according to a Commerce (NGLCC) has wrapped up its sev spoke of a new memorandum of under The new 'Family Building Options' website enth annual National Business and Leader offers information about assisted reproduc Westboro spokesperson, "communicate its standing that he will sign shortly with the message with as wide an audience as pos ship Conference on a high note. The NGLCC NGLCC to increase collaboration between tive technology (ART) and other treatment saw record-breaking attendance numbers options; a "Find a Fertility Specialist" tool; sible." the department and the organization around and stronger-than-ever support from policy procurement, trade and other department the ability to request an appointment or in makers and corporate partners. formation from a fertility specialist or clinic; According to The Los Angeles Times, the priorities that are of interest to America's group had made no decisions about whether small business community. information about upcoming family-building Attendance hit nearly 400 for the four-day events, donor program information, and it would picket the four other victims' funer als. conference in the nation's capital, a whop Also in attendance were 120 plus NGLCC other resources; and a new booklet, In The ping 60% jump over last year's conference Know: What No One Tells You About Family Corporate Partners, including IBM, Aetna, "The promotion of the Westboro Baptist in Seattle, WA. Over 800 LGBT business American Airlines, Ernst & Young, Hewlett Building Options for Same-Sex Couples, de owners, corporate partners and organiza signed to provide same-sex couples with Church's hateful vitriol has no place on our Packard, Intel, JPMorganChase, Merck, airwaves or at the funerals of these vic tional allies attended the National Dinner on AT&T, UPS, Wells Fargo and Hilton, to name free resources to help them along their Friday. The conference offered robust pro paths to parenthood. tims," said GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios. a few. All promised to continue their com gramming designed to meet the interests mitment to diversifying their workplace, and needs of LGBT business owners and en The booklet outlines options for couples "While countless media outlets around the policies and supplier base. country are properly paying tribute to the trepreneurs, allied companies and NGLCC based on their distinctive needs; educates affiliate chambers from around the country. them about their fertility and how to get fallen, these radio outlets have decided to "It's fantastic to see some of the world's help; provides questions to ask their spe cave to blackmail tactics and reward one of largest companies pledge their support to our nation's most anti-American groups," Many policy makers and members of the the LGBT community," says Chance cialist; and offers guidance in navigating Obama Administration also showed their payment and reimbursement. Barrios continued. "Such action only incen- Mitchell, co-founder of the NGLCC. "They tivizes groups like Westboro with an oppor support of the NGLCC's work. A delegation understand that diversifying their workforce of NGLCC members was invited to the White Fertility Lifelines, a free informational sup tunity to broadcast their hate to millions." and supplier base is not only morally and House on Wednesday to discuss ways in ethically sound, but is just solid business." port service for couples sponsored by EMD which the Administration can continue to Serono, provides an abundance of resources For more than 20 years, the Westboro Bap tist Church has cynically and maliciously support the LGBT community and create fur
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"Life is Just a Cabaret, My Friend" Shane Carpenter & Carpenter Productions by Jon Dunn newcomer to the entertainment business. In addition to Carpen i an 'OK' boy dancer Productions, he is partner and Artistic Director for the national ause there weren't many boys trying out. It On a cold Sunday night in north Columbus, Shane Carpenter is award-winning INFUSION Dance studio in Worthington. With all of was much more difficult for the girls because there was so much watching a group of dancers work through a routine. The room is the attention of dance and performance-oriented reality shows, more competition." filled with music and the sound of dance shoes meeting the floor. Shane says that business for the studio has never been better, As the dancers finish the series of steps, he only has to look up and that he's watched a primarily girl-oriented business grow to He followed the Disney gig by working with without a word for the dancers to begin all over again. Shane is include more boys learning dance in a variety of styles. "TV has Nickelodeon's Megamessa Mania, then a longer stint at Para- trying to put the finishing touches on these routines as he assem definitely made an impact on this business, no doubt! In fact, we mount's King's Island where he danced "six shows a day, six days bles the production with only a few short weeks to go before the have competed against some of the groups that are on the Paula a week," in the Entertainment Tonight Special Edition Live during curtain rises. Abdul show. It's exciting to see this interest in dance continue to the season. In the off-season, he continued to train and teach. He grow." also appeared in MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen and other shows. "It's a little bit of Cirque de Soleil, burlesque and vaudeville," says The experience and rigorous routines of the productions gave him Shane of his latest production, Le Cabaret, which debuts on Feb The focus of Carpenter Productions is providing entertainment for insight on how to stage shows while sharpening his skills as a ruary 18th at the Columbus Dance Theater. "I'm trying to make it parties large and small, rangingfrom "a small balloon party to a dancer, teacher, and later, as his own producer. beautiful without being trashy." full-on stage show," Shane explains. "We can do corporate Shane found inspiration for Le Cabaret in the movie Burlesque, events, birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, you name it, any kind of event These skills served Shane well as he began to take on work be which he admits to seeing "more than few times! I thought it was where you want to have some entertainment. We can provide a yond dancing. He spent time coaching and choreographing the great: the mood, the lighting and the performances were so in theme, characters, atmosphere, you name it. We can put the party Columbus Destroyers Bombshells cheerteading squad when the spiring," he exclaims, then adds "I mean, I wasn't looking at it for together and keep the party going," he says with a laugh. Even in AFL football league played here in town. He also choreographed a an Oscar-winning script, but it did give me some inspiration to a slow economic climate, Shane says that the business is "doing season opening game for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Yet teaching work with." In producing Le Cabaret, he wanted it to move away very well, we're trying to keep up! I'm so lucky to be surrounded by others to dance remains his passion, as he has guided so many from exclusively Cirque de Soleil, vaudeville or burlesque themes amazing people who enjoy what they do with a passion." Between of his students to realize their dream of dancing or even to careers towards a show that embraced aspects of each form. "I wanted the studio and the production company, Shane can be stretched a in entertainment. "I have kids all over the place; dancers, produc an element of burlesque, not so much nudity, as much as being little thin, but he wouldn't have it any other way. His drive and ers, all in different areas of entertainment, many of them are very sexy without being sexual." passion for what he does is propelled by a dream that he had to successful, too," he offers. I am so proud of every one of them." realize for himself. Helping to embrace the vaudeville theater ambiance are local fa Even as his career continues to rise as a producer and teacher, vorites Nina West and Pretty PuNasty, who are serving as ring "I grew up in West Virginia in a very strict, religious family," he ex Shane still feels the pull to perform. "In fact," he explains, "as I masters, "not so much as Master of Ceremonies, but more like plains. "I loved dance but in my family, dancing was not an op was developing one of the routines for Le Cabaret, I found myself characters in the production who are leading the audience tion for a boy." Not to be deterred by a stifling home life, Shane drawn into the dancing and I eventually became part of the num through the show," explains Shane. In addition to the dance num made a decisive move that changed his life. "When I was old ber," he adds, laughing. "So, I will be up there performing, even if bers, the show also features some local talent, such as Christina enough to drive, I packed the car and drove all the way to Florida it's just for a little while." Le Cabaret brings the many facets of Basham, whom Shane calls an "undiscovered local talent, with a to audition for Disney." After joining the Disney family, he was Shane's talents together in one production and the effect is not beautiful voice," and singer-songwriter Josh Blankenberg, who'll able to make a call to his parents in West Virginia and tell them lost on him. be performing some original songs on guitar. "Josh did some "I'm in Florida, I just got cast with Disney and I will be coming great shows at Wall Street, and I really wanted him to be in Le home in two weeks to get my things and move down here." He did "It's crazy to gain acceptance to gain acceptance through ap Cabaret," Shane says, adding that "I wanted a variety of acts, not just that and remained a cast member in Mickey Mania & Main plause," Shane admits, "but it's so addictive! It's the ultimate just dance numbers. We also have a vaudeville magician per Street Summer Celebration at the Florida destination point for natural high!" forming sleight of hand tricks and the big "Sawing The Lady In about a year. (If you meet Shane, ask him which Disney charac Half" routine. He does it to big band swing music, which is ters he had to play!) Le Cabaret debuts on February 18th at Columbus Dance Theater, 529 E. Main Street with a 7:30 p. performance, followed by a 7:30 performance on the 19th and a Sunday matinee on the 20th at 3p. Tickets are available at TORSO "It's been a path," Shane says, adding that during that time pe (614.421.7663) on N. High Street for $12 and $10 for students. For more informa Though Carpenter Productions is a new enterprise, Shane is no riod (the 90s), it was "much easier for a boy to get a gig because tion, visit carpenterproductions.org.
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Ej ^l^k^ ; i_ f. Anyone have a farmer fetish? outlookf-ohunbus.com • Social stigma - often shunned Stonewall Columbus; their annual by gay people because they are old PRIDE event is an ideal opportunity For this issue, we wanted to make (our Pride Comes in All Ages efforts to share information about the sure that one of the largest organiza are intended to reinforce the value changing landscape for 50+ and to tions in the world that focuses on is and contributions of 50+ LGBT peo listen and learn about concerns from sues of aging was well represented, ples within the gay community), and those who are 50+ LGBT. MRP Ohio and we didn't have to look too far. We discriminated against by straight has been a supporting sponsor and reached out to Kevin Craiglow, Asso people because they are gay; exhibitor at Columbus PRIDE for the ciate State Director of Public Out • Bigotry-when dependent on last three years and this past year reach at the American Association of the health-care system, home care or was our first at Cleveland PRIDE Retired Persons (AARP) to find out long-term care, LGBT 50+ are often what that organization does and get faced with fear, ignorance and un Aging is not exclusive to any seg some specifics on their GLBT out just or inequitable treatment. ment of our population. LGBT men reach and resources. and women are not immune from On a national level, let me just high some of the most significant con Michael Daniels: We've all seen or light some policies AARP supports cerns we have as we age - caring for heard of AARP, but tell us in a nut that could help address preventable older parents, siblings or partners; shell what the organization is and negative outcomes: income security; an ability to define what it does. retirement on our terms; adequate Kevin Craiglow: AARP is a social • Anti-discrimination laws to in and respectful care in an assisted change organization with a diverse clude sexual identity, so that same living facility or other skilled nursing and growing membership. Through sex couples can be housed together facility; and other issues. out our history, AARP has been de in assisted living facilities and nurs voted to improving quality of life for ing homes; For the last six years we've sought to all people as they age and to bring •Amending Medicaid laws to inform our work (to increase our about a society where 50+ can fully provide same-gender partners with awareness and relevance) with di participate without discrimination. all the financial protections afforded verse members through a series of We affect meaningful social change to opposite-sex community spouses; community efforts, like the PRIDE at the community, state and national • Programs and policies that per events. We've also hosted more than levels. mit people in kinship care situations 25 community listening sessions and others with an insurable interest with diverse audiences. Our founder. Dr. Ethel Percy Andrus, in the pensioner to share in, or re said, "What we do, we do for all." ceive, survivor benefits from private AARP also participates in PRIDE And what we do is help people, in pensions. events, and other LGBT-oriented cluding every ethnicity and sexual events, in many other cities, includ orientation or gender expression, to MD: What is AARP's relationship ing Washington DC, Indianapolis, chart their course through some with SAGE (Services and Advocacy Boston, Denver, Charlotte, "ageless realities." for GLBT Elders - Raleigh/Durham, Chicago, Houston, www.sageusa.org)? Olympia and Seattle. MD: What are some of the special KC: AARP and LGBT organizations needs of GLBT seniors? like SAGE are often aligned when it MD: How can people find out more KC: We all have common concerns: comes to fighting for personal and information about AARP, its pro Will we outlive our money? Will we be legal rights for the LGBT community grams, and local resources, specif able to maintain independence, - rights that will allow LGBT people ically those for GLBT seniors? choice and control? Will we be cared to age with dignity and respect. KC: More information is available at for by loved ones or by strangers? www.aarp.org/pride and at AARP's Will we become increasingly invisi We worked with SAGE NY to launch a online community group for LGBT ble, isolated and ignored? Public Benefit Outreach project in and allies, atwww.aarp.org/AARP- New York City. This ongoing project PrismNetwork. We also aim to in Many of these concerns are height has helped lesbian, gay, bisexual clude programming for our LGBT ened among LGBT 50+ because of and transgender people enroll in fed attendees at our annual member unequal treatment under the law; ef eral and state public benefit pro event each year. Your readers can fective protection of assets and con grams that can enhance their find more information on these trol of personal and partner health financial security. events at www.aarp.org/events. decisions are difficult, costly and not always enforced as intended. AARP was also the major sponsor of Additionally, AARP's conference, Di- SAGE's 4th annual conference on versity@50+: The Power of Inclusion, flduDcacy for the Gay & Gre But another concern is all of the pre LGBT aging. We were also very in is designed to address the wants, ventable negative outcomes. The volved in developing programming needs and aspirations of diverse flflRP Offers Benefits, Resources for GLBT Seniors older LGBT population is at particular for that conference, and have high populations age 50+. The conference risk for isolation/depression, neglect, lighted their work on AARP Radio, provides information and highlights substance abuse, unnecessary insti and collaborated with them for an In best practices on these key essential tutionalization, and as a conse The Life spot. Additionally, AARP Col issues that concern diverse 50+ quence, premature death. There are orado has begun to develop a work communities. It brings together multiple contributing factors, includ ing relationship with SAGE in thought leaders - service providers, ing: Colorado. practitioners, researchers, policy makers, community leaders and • Lack of traditional family sup MD: We noticed you in last year's other stakeholders - to engage and port - according to SAGE, as many Columbus PRIDE parade and with a present leading-edge data. The con as 70% of those 55 and older in the booth at the PRIDE festival. How ference will be held June 13-14, LGBT community are living alone was that experience, and do you 2011, at the Hilton Baltimore. with no children or partner to care for plan to be regulars? them; KC: We appreciate the efforts of outlookcolunilms.com To their eretlit, only a few of the fifty odd places we called hungup on us. THE BOMBAST AND THE by Wayne Besen Social conservatives would likely counter that flame old passions by hinting at secession. It Given this harsh rhetoric, it is understandable sanguinary acts come from the hands of de is the Republican Party that wins power by at While the world focused on the tragic Arizona that an unbalanced individual distressed ranged individuals. Technically, this is true - tacking immigrants, bashing Muslims, and shootings, another horrific crime took place in about his sexual orientation might resort to vi however public figures generally understand using anti-gay marriage amendments to drive New York City. The New York Post reported olence. After all, Chambers clearly states that that a small percentage of their audience is voters to the polls. today that a Portuguese male model tortured homosexuality is evil and then offers a remedy, unhinged from reality. So, providing fiery rheto and murdered his "sugar daddy" in a Manhat which is to "stand up" against the perceived ric that can incite mentally ill people to take It is House Speaker John Boehner and Senate tan hotel. For more than an hour, Renato evil spirits and not stand "idly by". criminal actions is grossly irresponsible and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell who allowed Seabra, 20, beat Carlos Castro, 65, before he an abdication of moral leadership. the healthcare bill to be portrayed as a step to castrated the older fashion journalist with a In Jeff Sharlet's latest book, C Street: The Fun ward communism. It is former House Majority wine corkscrew. damentalist Threat to American Democracy, a A perfect example of this disconnect is Rush Leader Dick Armey who helped organize the Ugandan man justifies supporting the death Limbaugh. Even as he defended right wing ex bitter Town Hall healthcare meetings designed Seabra said he murdered the journalists "to penalty for gay people because, "They" -the tremists today from accusations that their to intimidate legislators. It is the GOP that dis get rid of Castro's homosexual demons". The gays - "are trying to end the human race." rhetoric led to the Arizona massacre, blogger respects the office of the President by acting suspect then declared, "I'm not gay anymore!" Jim Burroway provided a photograph of a Lim as though Bill Clinton and Barack Obama lack His comments sound strikingly similarto baugh promotional billboard in Tucson painted legitimacy. Like the Arizona assassin, Jared Loughner, Focus on the Family's founder James Dobson, with bullet holes and the headline, "Straight there is no doubt that Renato Seabra is pro who once told The Daily Oklahoman newspaper Shooter." My intent is not to say that most Republicans foundly disturbed. However, that does not ab that same-sex marriage will "destroy the are bigots, nor are I implying that the names solve those who placed the dangerous idea earth." Such violent imagery was in line with Sarah I've mentioned are directly responsible for that homosexuality is attributable to demons Palin's infamous graphic targeting vulnerable causing deaths. However, they have soured the in Seabra's head. Where might he have gotten This week, Pentecostal preacher Cindy Jacobs Democratic legislative districts with political climate in America by consistently such a notion? warned that the repeal of Don't Ask/Don't Tell crosshairs. As we now know, critically wounded catering to bigots, pandering to religious ex has caused God's wrath, including the "poten Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) was one of the tremists, serving as apologists for militia We can start with the "ex-gay" organization tial that there is something that actually hap legislators in Palin's gun sights. kooks, and entertaining the wild fantasies of Exodus International, where its President, Alan pened in the land where a hundred thousand sick conspiracy theorists. Instead of restoring Chambers, once wrote, "One of the many evils drum fish died and also where these birds just Unfortunately, the media tries to draw a moral sanity, they have treated these crackpots as if this world has to offer is the sin of homosexu fell out of the air." equivalence between the rhetoric of the left they were legitimate, even respected, con ality. Satan, the enemy, is using people to fur and right, which is inaccurate and unhelpful. stituencies. ther his agenda to destroy the Kingdom of God It is irrelevant whether Sebra or Loughner were This bogus media attempt at "balance" obfus and as many souls as he can." directly influenced by the "spiritual warfare" of cates the reality that the vast majority of It is time America stops living in denial and these preachers or the Tea Party's vitriol. What alarming rhetoric comes from Republicans considers the possibility that over-the-top Chambers also told a crowd of social conser matters is that the constant demonizing of and Tea Party adherents. bombast may lead to a body count. vatives, "We have to stand up against an evil certain groups of people - whether minorities, agenda. It is an evil agenda and it will take liberals, or employees of the federal govern The root of the problem is people like Sarah Wayne Besen is Founder & Executive Director of Truth Wins anyone captive that is willing, or that is stand ment - sets the stage for bloody reprisals. Palin who say, "Don't retreat - instead reload." Out. a non-profit organization that fights anti-gay reli gious extremism. For more info: www.truthwinsout.org ing idly by." It is people like Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) that in
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by Regina Sewell The next step is to screen out the obligations .*" If you find your worth. Next, map out your current monthly cash and demands. Make a three-column table. At self arguing or resisting this statement, change flow. How much money do you have going out Cash your dreams before they slip away the top write: 1) Heart and Soul; 2) Icing on the the sentence to "I choose to relative to the money you have coming in? This Dying all the time Cake; and 3) Should. In the Heart and Soul col because I want means filling out an expense chart. You need to Lose your dreams and you umn, write in all those dreams, longings and de ." So, for map out all of your monthly bills - rent or mort will lose your mind sires - the things you'd like to do or accomplish example, you might write, "I choose to go to gage, insurance, utilities, cell phone, internet before you die - things you'd regret on your last family functions because I want to stay con and cable bills, gym fees, -every bill that regu The Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday day if you didn't do them. In the Icing on the nected to them." The reality is that if you get larly comes or that is automatically deducted Cake column, write those things that are more blitzed at your family functions, you are not con from your bank account. Next, map out your daily The last column, Money, Myths and Madness, like desert - the things that you'd like to do be necting with them. Perhaps you can find a dif expenses. (You will probably need to track this described how your beliefs about money keep fore you die but that wouldn't cause you incredi ferent way to connect with your family, maybe in for a month or two to get a handle on your you trapped in debt, disconnected from yourself ble despair if you didn't do them. Finally, in the smaller, less chaotic gatherings or dinners. Or spending patterns. Keep track of every purchase and others and/or drowning in meaningless- Should column, write down all those things that you might write, "I choose to keep working as an you make, meaning record every tank of gas, cup ness. This column helps you use your life dreams you feel obligated to do or be. When you've filled accountant because I need money and it's the of Starbucks, bottle of Fiji, lottery ticket and ATM to find financial freedom and live a meaningful in each of the columns, take a moment to review only thing I know how to do." charge. You also need to record how much you life. You may be thinking, "I can't live my life your table. You might see that you've put travel, spend on groceries, music, gifts, beer, wine, vacations and luxury' items or resort homes in movies, breakfast, lunch, and dinner out, candy dreams until! get my financial act together, so Perhaps you can look at your Heart and Soul list the Icing on the Cake column and issues related bars, alcohol, clothing, pot, cell phone apps and what's the point of thinking about them?" My and see if there is something on that list that to practical issues like work, saving money, pay ring tones.... In other words, you are keeping answer is that even if you get your beliefs about you can someday transition into or that will ing taxes and taking care of family in the Should track of every penny you spend. The best way to money sorted out, this approach will keep you make working as an accountant feel worthwhile. column. do this is to get a software program (for exam stuck. Your life dreams are the forces that will If, for example, you love to act, but at this time, ple: Quicken) or a workbook (for example: Track give you the motivation and determination to don't think it will pay the bills, you might re- ing Your Expenses: A Workbook...). change your relationship with money and get You might also notice that there are things in frame your situation to acknowledge that by your financial life and priorities in order. On one the Should list that suck your soul dry or leave being an accountant, for now, helps or will help hand, change can be hard, scary, frustrating you feeling resentful. Resentment often stems you live your deeper life dream. Or, perhaps the You may be surprised at how much you spend and/or overwhelming. On the other, as dysfunc from a sense that you don't have a choice. This issue isn't the task but the environment you and on what. You might realize that you spend a tional as your current patterns around money is not true. The options may all suck but you al work in. Perhaps you could find a different way fortune at Starbucks, Chipotle, UDF or Barnes may be, they are working for you somehow. If you ways have a choice, even if the choice is as nar or a different place to use your accountant skills. and Nobles. It could occur to you that you could don't have a positive incentive to change, you're row as deciding how you will frame an issue or save a lot of money if you packed your own lunch likely to fall back into the old patterns. situation. If you are ready to stop living in re Finally, your Heart and Soul column should con or breakfast or ditched the Dasani and carried sentment, take a moment to consciously make nect you to your deeper longings. When you've your own water in a trendy new BPA free bottle. In Money, Myths and Madness, I encouraged you choices about the items on this list and take written down everything that is truly important to explore your dreams - to "dream and dream back your power. to you, go back and prioritize the items on your Then next step is to figure out how to pay off the big" about what you really want to do with your list. What is most important to you to do before debt and start investing. A good financial advi life and to make a list of what came up. If you First ask yourself if you really have to do them. you run out of time? What life dreams would you sor will help you do this so that you can actually made that list, take a moment to look at it. If you For example, do you really have to go to all of most regret not fulfilling? afford to live your dreams. They can help you use didn't make that list, make it now. When you've your family functions if they make you miserable your assets, weed out unnecessary expenses and reviewed or written your list, give yourself 15 or or drive you to drink? Do you really have to work If you put everything from owning a Porche, to understand financial things like the Dow Jones 20 minutes to ponder the following situation. as an accountant if you want to shoot yourself redoing your kitchen, to wowing an audience Industrial Average, the NASDAQ, and the S&P Imagine that you just found out that you have every morning on the way to work? Do your chil with your best Madonna impersonation, to going 500 and manage your money in a way that seven years to live. You will get to live a full, vi dren really need to goto private school? Do you to Pride in Sydney Australia, you list is out of works for you. Your dreams are the goals that brant life during those seven years, but some really need to drive a Lexus? whack. You need to sort a little deeper. If you still will give you the incentive to follow their advice time during the seventh year, you are going to can't limit your list to a doable size, you might and get your financial house in order. die. Take a breath and let this notion settle in. As you look at your Should list, you are probably need to work with a counselor or a life coach to Let yourself feel both the weight of your "death saying, "Yes, I have to do this." If so, ask your help you sort the Icing on the Cake items out of *Based on Seven Stages of Money Maturity sentence" and the freedom it gives you to self what the payoff is. For example, what would your Heart and Soul column. (George Kinder) and Nonviolent Communication change. How do you want to spend your remain you lose or risk if you decided not to go to a fam (Marshall Rosenberg). ing seven years of life? What changes do you ily function? What do you think would happen if The items in your Heart and Soul column are want to make? What do you need to do in order you quit your job, didn't send your kids to private your life goals. Now that you've gotten your Heart To ask Regina a question, propose a column topic, read to feel like you lived a meaningful, fulfilling life? school, or drove a Camry instead of a Lexus? and Soul column tweeked to a place that you about her approach to counseling, or check out her books This is a heavy question. Give yourself time to and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com. Her most feel satisfied, you're ready to tackle the financial think about the questions and write down your recent publication, "Sliding Awa/' can be found in Knowing piece of living your dreams. This is where the answers. Next, get out a piece of paper, and for every item Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by on your Should list that leaves you feeling gritty work begins. You need to calculate your Molly Rosen. drained or resentful, write, "I choose to assets relative to your debt to determine your net
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This is a gift sen family, honorary sister, person who gets with no strings attached. This is a purely posi me the most in this world - had a baby last But it's also a lot of work being single and What I was in for was the kind of life lesson tive experience. I spent my life avoiding babies February. This immediately made me 'Auntie queer. As much as I love my life, sometimes I that makes everything click. All the pieces fell because I knew I didn't want one. The idea of Mette'. Since Elaine lives in Toronto with her want a vacation from it. Forthis reason, and into place perfectly. Spending time with my getting close to one seemed risky because of husband, I didn't get to see their baby until because of my vow, I decided that I would baby niece forced me to live in the moment. It all the loaded statements people make, the they came out west in the summer. spend the holidays in heterosexual family land, wasn't a choice. It was reality. She cries when confusing conclusions we're all in danger of visiting the three people that I think of as kin. she's upset or needs something or wants at making. I grew up with all those assumptions I was nervous about it since I'm not exactly tention. And she laughs and smiles when she's about getting married and having kids and fond of babies as a general rule. In fact, I go to Unlike everything I imagined, I had the best happy or doesn't need anything or want atten winding up bitter and resentful so I had a lot of great lengths to avoid babies and I always time I've had in a long time. Why did I not think tion. I think she's perfect and I finally under defensiveness. I had to prove to the world that have. I'll cross the street to avoid an encounter I would? I thought it would be a culture shock. stand how other people think their babies are it was okay to not want to pursue that path. with an SUV-inspired baby stroller. When Before I went, I actually thought I was making perfect, too. Because they are. It was a good Now, in my mid-thirties and having entirely re groups of people coo over babies, I bolt. Even a sacrifice. After all, at home, I had parties to lesson for me to remember that we all came jected those pursuits, I'm free to enjoy this my doctor laughed at how much birth control I go to and a new crush and my quiet apart from that perfect condition, that tabula rasa miraculous little human being who likes to used back when I was sleeping with men. Like ment. If I'd felt like it, I could have de-clut state. snuggle with me and fall asleep in my arms. I said, I've gone to great lengths to baby-proof tered, redecorated or had a fling. So many my life. opportunities! What I love about my niece is that she doesn't I'm finally free to live my life exactly as I want care about politics or identities or any of the it while also experiencing a love so uncondi All that changed when I met my little niece. It's In Toronto, I realized that I had created a life common barriers that keep people apart. She tional that it blows my mind. I love my little the oldest cliche in the book. Everyone says you that didn't include babies because I was doesn't care about the stuff I care about. The niece more than I thought it was possible to feel differently when it's your own. I felt differ afraid of having one. I saw the sacrifices my only thing she wants from people other than love another human being. She's has already ently when it was as close to my own as I'd parents made for me and made a conscious her parents is that they smile. If they do that, if taught me so much about happiness and sim get. In fact, after I visited the family in Toronto decision, dating back to when I was still play they complete that one simple act of making plicity and love. for the first time later on in the summer, I ing with dolls, that I didn't want that life for eye contact with her and smiling, she blesses vowed to be a part of my niece's life. myself. I didn't want everything that came with them with the sweetest little laugh. Some Strip away the symbolism and a baby is just a it. For as long as I remember, the white picket times, she even claps her hands together or baby. My niece is a little treasure and I'm so It's a lot of work being a new parent. Everyone fence fantasy that permeates North American shakes her fist around because she's trying to proud to be her auntie. will tell you that. It's a huge transition and it's culture was a dystopian nightmare. Families wave but can't quite control her movements extremely taxing on the body to have to provide were synonymous with giving up dreams and yet. There is nothing more simple than that. for someone else's needs constantly, particu settling for status quo. 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(See clip on the "World's Oldest transgender surgery and medical sup 3) More conventional healthcare insur Transgender", 10) Trans people are becoming more ac port in the United States, believes that ance policies are including transgender http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge9Y cepted into pop culture, ads, TV shows, 2010 was a watershed year for the surgery and health needs in coverage, 6HHU65U). music, politics etc. transgender community. Although still a regardless of whether Obamacare is im long way from becoming totally ac plemented or not. 7) The most commonly performed surgi Dr. Sherman Leis is one of the world's pre-eminent cepted within the multi-cultural fabric cal procedure for Male-To-Female transgender surgeons and founder of The Philadelphia Center For Transgender Surgery, in Bala Cynwyd, PA. It that is our society, 2010 has seen a 4) The transgender community is gain transgender patients continues to be is recognized as one of the leading facilities in the growing trend in that direction. There ing momentum to stand on its own and genital reassignment, although facial world specializing in gender reassignment surgery. It are ten important trends that have getting out from under the umbrella of feminization procedures are a close was founded to be a single source of information and taken hold or gained momentum in the gay and lesbian community, except second. expertise in medical care for the transgender. The Philadelphia Center For Transgender Surgery offers a 2010, according to Dr. Sherman Leis. when it comes to fighting for human uniquely supportive environment where one can con The trends are: rights and dignity. 8) The most commonly performed surgi nect with Dr. Leis' surgical and non-surgical team of cal procedure for Female-To-Male dedicated specialists - surgeons, psychologists, en 1) A growing number of female-to-male 5) The U.S. is becoming a world center transgender patients is breast removal docrinologists, aestheticians, speech therapists, legal experts, and others. The Philadelphia Center For (FTM) transitions. Once only thought to for transgender surgery as more trans and masculinization of the chest. Transgender Surgery is located in suburban Philadel be the province of males transitioning patients from around the world are phia at 19 Montgomery Avenue, Bala Cynwyd, PA to females (MTF), a recent study coming here for surgery. Although Asia 9) New medical innovations, such as 19004. Phone: 610-667-1888. Website: www.thetrans- showed that the transitioned male and and Europe still perform more trans micro surgery, the harmonic scalpel, gendercenter.com. female populations will equal each surgeries overall, the growth trend is in radio-wave surgery, improved flap tech other within the next five years. favor of the United States. niques and new bio-medical materials outlookcolumbus.com You think you're brave? Talk to a trans person. fcb2on complete the circuit M GEN-BRUNK: THE VIEW FROM BEHIND BURS by Mickey Weems "Grandparents raising kids," added Marvel. and K) with its Circuit party fetish. The Genera 10 years his senior. tion of That Bitch Tina was shut down in Gay Columbus, Ohio is a great place to watch the Besides the way young people are raised, Bobby ghettos across the USA by legal interventions We see the reduced presence of Circuiteers on Gay community undergo shifts over time. and Marvel mentioned how the new generation such as Operation Dark Star in Ohio a few years the dance floor as well, yet there is a resur does not have the same experience of oppres back, as well as, harm reduction campaigns gence of sorts. After a brief absence, shirtless No surprise, since Cowtown is famous as a sion as the older ones. "Being Gay is a fad for within the LGBT community. I doubt seriously guys are becoming a regular feature in our metro-petri dish to test new products. Califor them," said Bobby. The rapidly changing face that crystal is responsible this time for verbal clubs once again, but nowhere near the num nia and New York have the latest crazy avante- of technology has not only made the generation flightiness, which leads me to conclude that bers that there used to be. I suspect this is a gard trends, and we can always count on Texas gap wider, but also made it shorter in terms of social media are the new addictive substances. consequence of the younger Gay male genera to give us vintage American freakshow conser age differences. "There used to be a gap be tion's lack of obsession with having a muscular vative backlash. But Central Ohio is the ful tween twenty year olds and thirty year olds," This adds a whole new meaning to "buzz body. This lack, of course, leads to its own inse crum between the extremes; a place where the said Marvel. "Now it's between twenty year olds words," doesn't it? Perhaps the new Gen- curities. Proof is in the fact that the average sure bet is ideal. and twenty-four year olds." Drunk's adoration of alcohol is simply due to stripper has not changed much in physique the effect of beer and liquor forcing their info- over the last 15 years. Muscle is still a powerful For the Gay community, the result is a city with I cautioned Bobby and Marvel that every older overloaded brains to slow down. magnet, regardless of how many men have the bars and restaurants catering to us that rival generation in my experience considered their drive to obtain it for themselves. anything on either coast. And Columbus is a younger peers to be irresponsible, flighty, and Derek and Rockelle city that loves her liquor, a place where skilled clueless. But he and Marvel assured me the Rockelle Pace also tends bar at Union. Her bartenders can make serious bank on a good new batch is different. They have less respect There are many venues for the generations to combination of competence and keen observa weekend. More often than not, weekends are for authority. meet for drinks in Columbus: Club Diversity, tion of the humanity around her is the reason good for the bar business regardless of Trafik, Level, Axis and others. One such spot why I give her the last word among her profes weather. And there is no night of the week I can see why. So many of our queer youth in that tilts heavily toward twinkling bois and sional peers: "In the newer generation, we have where people, Gay or Straight, agree to com Ohio come from conservative families, whose baby-dykes is Union, a place that is regularly come together as one, where the older genera pletely abstain. parents live for the wisdom of Glenn Beck, Bill flooded with the 21-25 year old crowd after the tion was more divided between Gay men and O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. It is dinner crowd leaves. Union is the workplace of Lesbians. Now look... we play softball to This issue is on aging in the Gay community got all too easy for these kids to pretend to listen to Derek Schulte, a bartender who juggles bottles gether!" me thinking about the relationship between our their elders, all the while preparing ways to and glasses with the sure-handed competence elders and our youth. And who better to ask mock the Old Guard when they rejoin their of an athlete-gone-showman. I have seen this unity for myself. It is as if the about the generation gap, then those that see peers. They have even less patience for Log bad blood between dick suckers and carpet the mix of generations daily: our bartenders. In Cabin types. And it is easy for them to dismiss Unlike Bobby and Marvel, however, Derek fo munchers has disappeared in the dazzling a business that caters to several generations of Stonewall Democrats as well, considering the cused on the older generation and how their array of stud/nerd/princess/jock/hi-mainte- LGBT clientele seven nights out of seven, bar slow pace that the former Democratic-majority ways are giving way to different sensibilities. nance identities among our beautiful young. For tenders would be especially aware of any differ Congress did anything for LGBT rights. Gen-Drunk born-women and born-men, the ences. The old lines between gender, men and women, butch/femme dichotomy is only a starting point Their disdain, however, does not necessarily be and Straight and Gay of the past are falling to for self-expression in which all are welcome if Bobby and Marvel speak astute awareness of societal ills. Politi the wayside, says Derek. But even more telling: they do not take themselves too seriously. But is cal issues in general are less important than "Showtunes sing-along is bigger for the older there room in that togetherness for the older Responses to my queries were lopsided. Almost the latest fads in social media. 1 feel like generation, even though Glee is bringing it generation? Or does the older generation even everything said was about the younger genera today's youth doesn't care as much as genera back for the new generation," he said. "Also, care if they are included? tion rather than the older, and general consen tions previous," observed Marvel. "We are basi the Circuit has really faded." sus was the young 'uns are spoiled. Said Bobby cally fighting Vietnam Part II [Afghanistan] and Conclusion Au, mixologist extraordinaire at Havana, "When instead of protesting in the streets, we sign up I agreed with Derek, but I'm not sure that either they stopped the whuppin's at school, that's for Facebook pages to get Betty White on Satur showtune nights or Circuit parties are in seri The bartenders with whom I spoke are neither when it all changed." day Night Live." ous jeopardy. I mentioned that the Circuit has twinks nor elders. Because of the status asso downsized because it is a niche market for guys ciated with bartending, it is unusual to find a His partner in crime, David "Marvel" Sollars, Listen to rapid-fire conversations between over 30 with money, a fact that was just as true very young adult bartender in a hot bar during a brought up the harsh realities of living in an ex youngest adults and it's obvious that the plen- 15 years ago as it is today, only there are fewer hot time slot. The youngest workers tend to be tended recession: "There is nothing for them to titude of means for communication has af guys with a lot of expendable income. Once waiter/esses, servers, and barbacks. look forward to." Having no clear idea of their fected their casual conversation patterns. Few again, we can see the effect of the economy on future, the very young adults (between 21 and tell stories - it is much more important to throw our festive culture, as there are currently not as There are at least two more perspectives in the 25) are constantly "throwing caution to the in a witty comment in a roundtable of occasion many people of any age with money anywhere bar-club scene to explore on the issue of gener winds," said Bobby, who then summed up the ally brilliant verbal dexterity. As with the music in our great country. Derek concurred with me ations: that of older workers and the owners at unstable family background from which many of Lady Gaga, performance trumps content. as to why there are not more young people in the Olympus of the social ladder, and the ener of them come: the Circuit: as much as he loves massive par getic young people that do the ground-floor I've seen such reparte in the previous short ties like the White Parties, Black and Blue, Win grunt work necessary so all our generations can "Kids raising kids," said Bobby. lived klub kid generation, the one fueled by ter Party and Gay Days, he finds himself the raise their glasses together, in their own safe crystal meth that overshadowed Gen X (and G younger man among men who on average are spaces and in their own queer fashion. That's right. 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CDS («> CT3 c • ^ —* CD •o 3 as.*" j CO CD CO *" : cr" OS Gay, Gray and Fabulous: Gen S/7enf and Our Future by J Eric Peters But that's not how this couple has lived. In responsibilities for Alexandre, his decision to whelmed emotionally, with her son and two fact, Johnson says that for many years they take early retirement to accommodate that community members helping out by doing The movie.Gen Silent's action comes from avoided signing their last names to cards duty and his desire to end it all - in part be culinary prep work, one wearing a cap with Lawrence Ernest Johnson, 65, and his part lest people recognize their relationship, and, cause of his own diagnosis with lymphoma - HRC's logo. Hembrough's experience vividly ner of 38 years, Alexandre; Krysalis Anne for the same reason, refused to participate provide some very poignant moments. reflects the power of community activists Hembrough, 60; and Lori and Sheri, 72 and in Pride to avoid any camera capturing them and organizers to provide help, support and 77. Producer/Director Stu Maddux, Producer together. This continues into the movie's A violinist, prolific poet, African-American very generous practical assistance. They Joseph Appelbaum, Associate Producer and timeframe. Throughout the film until the sad and Northeastern University associate pro transform her life at least for a while. Due to Exec present an impressionistic view of anti- finale, Parkinson's dementia pulls Alexandre fessor, Johnson provides substantial food for her status as a Vietnam veteran, her funeral gay discrimination and bigotry in the early through a slow mental fade to the point that thought when, on his way to visit Alexandre, involves a flag draped over her coffin and 21st Century. They also reveal and celebrate he struggles at one point to coordinate hand he talks of loving a new man in his life. two U.S. Air Force Technical Sergeants par the solutions created and put to work by movements to wipe his face with a napkin. (Race matters - especially in a community ticipating. GBLT elders and other community members. Johnson comments on his partner's insis that gets it wrong from time to time.) tence some months or years earlier that, Charm. That just exudes from Lori and Sheri. The story of Lawrence and Alexandre makes when his physical therapist visited to pro Krysalis Anne Hembrough has recently tran They provide much insightful discussion of up the bulk of the film's hour and seven vide in-home care, they "straighten" the sitioned and expresses much exuberance in the ever-unfolding historical context of their minutes. They have been "long term part home. her new life with her correct gender. She de relationship. Having met at a dance 45 years ners" (Johnson's term) since the 1970s when scribes 50 years of misery - angry at herself ago, they mention the effects on their rela they met at Harvard University when Johnson The film focuses on Johnson's visits to and at the world and episodes of major de tionship of living through the Beat Genera was in his 20s and Alexandre in his 40s. Alexandre in a nursing home where they pression - living as a man. But now she tion, Sen. Eugene McCarthy's anti-gay and They have made a home in a two-story sub share such intimate moments as Alexandre struggles to manage the medical and emo anti-Communist witch hunts and the urban home, which they have decorated slyly telling Johnson a story about an orderly tional aspects of lung cancer. Difficulty Stonewall uprising. quite artfully. coming onto him and Johnson feeding added to this major challenge comes from Alexandre and gently, caringly massaging lo her abandonment by her children and other They live in an urban tenement where they Gen Silent opens with Johnson marching tion into Alexandre's hands. One of those family members. Relief for that comes from have lived for decades in a neighborhood down a street in Boston's Pride Parade wear hands wears a ring indicating that Alexan the return of her 17-year-old son into her where they have been generous and untiring ing a fabulous rainbow lei and carrying a dre once served in the U.S. Marine Corps. life. I found one scene particularly moving: activists - neighborhood activists for 30 sign saying, "Welcome to Viagara Falls." Johnson's intimate disclosure to the camera Hembrough, wearing a pink bathrobe, years where they live. of his sense of feeling overwhelmed by his stands in her kitchen, seemingly over continued oullookcohinilms.com Just a spoon full ofsugar helps everything go down. febson OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. V 815 N High St. Bsmt Ste ii Columbus. Orl 43215 614.268.8525 phone CO 614.261.8200 Fax CO www.outlookmedia.com SUBSCRIPTIONS & DISTRIBUTION O qmunily: local Call 614.268.8525 BUSINESS DIRECTOR r^ Michael Daniels: fro qimuiity: national [email protected] ADVERTISING ACCOUNT REPS iB small pond Chad Frye [email protected] MaryMalone |B open kimono [email protected] NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media-212.242.6863 I truth wins out ADVERTISING DEADLINES Reservations by the 15th of each month. US) insightoul Artinbythe2(Sh. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes flj) notthatldndofgiri [email protected] MANAGING EDITOR « Jon Dunn I transpicuous [email protected] EDITORIAL ASSISTANT S Phillecia Cochran Aging, City Council & complete the circuit [email protected] S CONTRIBUTING WRITERS calendar Regina Sewell, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, v Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage. Mickey Weems. Something About a Heart Michael Daniels, Chris Hayes, Jon Dunn. Chad Paul Frye, Mackenzie Vforral, Phillecia Cochran, 3 about town Wayne Besen, Ryan Harris, Gregg Shapiro, Aaron Unless you're a vampire, you can't help process in the country, we saw the % Leveanthal,, J. Eric Peters, Mikey Rox, Steven C. Anderson but age. We all do it, but how many of Columbus City Council appoint two peo co | feature us plan for the care we will need when ple to the seats vacated by Charleta CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS John Barber. Zoe Copeland, cover: Mad Stu Media we are seniors? How many of us will Tavares and Mike Mentel. Does anyone "5 creative class have kids or family around to take care remember when a City Council seat was CONTRIBUTING DESIGNER Robert Trautman of us in our final years? Whereas our actually voted on? Of the 49 applicants, i H deep inside hollywood INTERNS straight counterparts tend to couple up, we did manage to rustle up 6 good Mackenzie Worrall. Sam Malone get married and procreate 'round the GLBT candidates, five of whom made it time that they get out of college, most to the final 18. Unfortunately, neither fiTjj 23 frames persecond CYBERSPACE CO http://www.outlookcolumbus.corn people in the gay community don't pair appointee Michelle Mills nor Zach Klein http://www.outlookmedia.com up for life 'til much later or if at all. And is gay. Always a bridesmaid I guess... http://www.networkcolumbus.com ft consumerism http://twtter.com/outlookcolumbus a lot of us don't have kids. So who will anyone else sick of taffeta? Regardless, facebook @ outlook: columbus take care of us in the twilight? Our I'm sure Mills and Klein will be fine V N r .1 • -_- r I outlook columbus is published and distributed friends? Not if we don't have intergen- Councilmembers and champions for our by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each erational friendships. Our friends of the issues. A month throughout Ohio. same age will likely be going through gR mj fabulous disease outlook columbus is a free publication pro vided solely for the use of our readers. Any the same difficulties we will be. Our And speaking of issues, Valentine's Day person who willfully or knowingly obtains or family? We hope being the favorite aunt is coming up which makes everyone say exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 trippingoul copies of any issue outlook columbus with the or uncle will earn us enough points with Yeah! or Boo! or Who the f#$k Cares! intent to prevent other individuals from read our nieces and nephews to help out, but depending on the state of your love life. ing it shall be considered guilty of the crime of will it? Will you even be in the same If you are in love and need some ideas, EB savage love theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in outlook columbus are state as your family? It's something no check out Mikey Rox's gift guide in this those of the individual authors and do not nec one wants to think about, and it hasn't issue. If you need something for me, I MB local celebritj essarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, g business, or professional practices of Outlook been till recently that people started really enjoy Tulips and Carnations. And Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or manage thinking about in terms of the queer if your not in love, well, you can have a .9 \ astro forecast ment, outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of population. This issue we dive into the drink (or ten) with me and the rest of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view issue of aging in the GLBT community. the not-really-that-lonely hearts club. If presented. How fun is that! We thought we give you We'll probably beat Level. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or ac cept responsibility for claims made in any ad some light reading for the depressing NEXT MONTH vertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no days of February. You're welcome. Until next month, pay it forward. responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, The Politics nor for the content of, or reply to, any adver In other topics of discussion, in what Chris Hayes tisement All material is copyrighted ©2010 by some say is the most undemocratic Co-Publisher Issue Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved. outlookcolunihus.com Chris: Hey Chad write me a tidine about Candy Hearts. Chad: Who is Candi Hearts and what does Panties think about her? Seriously. continued from page 29 begun to pose physical challenges for the end stages of lung cancer because she Lori and Sheri shared a heartbreaking story. them, and ride on a trolley rather than might not have enough people in her life Bill, a friend of theirs who had been openly The film's impressionistic style may frus march in the Pride Parade. Their personali who would help out. gay and engaged with the gay community, trate analytical thinkers. The filmmakers ties yield some of the film's highlights. had had to enter a nursing home for end- could have done a much, much better job Her family could have filled in right about of-life care. There he became extremely clarifying some identities and dates. "What do you call yourself now FREAK or then, but they chose instead to hurl hateful anxious and fearful that the nursing home IT?" words at her. Despite their actions, Hem staff or other residents would learn that he "We've been on every committee known to brough still kept and displayed in her home was gay, and so asked all his GBLT friends man," says Lori or Sheri, continuing later, What the fuck? a cute little knick with the words "No. 1 to stay away, not visit and not mail him "the chits are going to come in" and, then, Grandpa." anything. tentatively, "I hope." Imagine the shock Hembrough felt when her family returned to her letters she had She had reason to worry. Isolation poses Dale Mitchell, Co-Founder of Boston's LGBT A clean strong statement comes from wrtitten seeking reconciliation - but only problems for many senior citizens. Aging Project, confirmed and finished the Lori/Sheri declaring, "We are somebody. We after scrawling those hateful words on the story. Bill's friends respected his wishes. really are. We put our heart and soul into outside of one envelope (so the postal car "LGBT elders are only half as likely as het Months and months later they learned that the movement. You wouldn't be here if it rier saw it). She also had to read "De erosexual elders to have close relatives to he had passed. weren't for us." ceased" next to her return address on call for help" according to an Oct. 1999 re another returned letter, which had "Ms." port by SAGE and Hunter College Brookdale He died. Alone. That statement rings true with this writer's crossed out and replaced with "Mr." Others Center. long-standing ethical conviction that any bore the notes "To whom it may concern But his fear made sense. generation that enjoys the benefits of literal Lose this address" and "So glad someone Along the same lines, Robert Behney of the or figurative ancestors' courageous risk finally took off your balls." Lesbian and Gay Aging Issues Network of Of nursing home workers, 50 percent re taking and hard work - benefits delayed too the American Society of Aging reported in ported their doubts that their coworkers long for the previous generation to enjoy - Her family wrote that to her. Winter 1994 that "46 percent of Area Agen would be comfortable with GBLT persons. has a moral obligation to take their turn. If cies on Aging said that LGBT people would And that discomfort can only increase the we do nothing to prevent gay teen suicide, All five - Hembrough and both couples - not be welcome at their senior centers if peril experienced by GBLT people in nursing then three or four decades of unending Re shared painful, frightening and outrageous their sexual orientation were known. Not homes or receiving care at home from publican rule would not offend cosmic jus stories of encountering discrimination and surprisingly, 72 percent of gay and lesbian health professionals. tice. anti-gay hate. elders... said they were tentative about using AAA services due to lack of trust of The National Elder Abuse Incidence Study The experience of Lori and Sheri involves One of Hembrough's support people shared AAA personnel; only 19 percent of LGBT eld suggests that more than 500,000 Ameri neither nursing home care nor in-home that she had felt just devastated to think ers reported involvement in a senior cen cans aged 60 and over were victims of do nursing care, but rather simple but sub that she might have to go into a nursing ter." mestic abuse in 1996 with only 16 percent stantial adjustments. They add a mechani home at age 59 when she was dealing with cal chair lift to their staircase, which has of those abusive situations followed by re- continued Feature! 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U.S. Administration on Aging National Center the same thing. It was not unusual for gos at events like Lawrence's poetry reading at a Shwartz Hospice and Palliative Care pro on Elder Abuse, which discussed the Special sip rags to publish the police reports, yellow public library of the substantial body of writ duces for Hembrough. As her lung cancer Committee's report, research over a ten-year journalism that destroyed many lives. The ing he had completed while he was attend reached toward its endstage, Hembrough ex period produced one consistent finding: inci American Psychiatric Association declassi ing to Alexandre. Emmanuel Episcopal pressed realistic concern about what would dence of abuse increasing every year. fied homosexuality as a mental disorder only Church in Boston provides space every week happen when her body would no longer carry in 1986; before that, some families commit for Cafe Emmanuel, a program that provides her to her oxygen tank. She expressed a That flies in the face of the Nursing Home ted queers to asylums. The 1949 founding of a hot nutritious meal, a weekly check-in for strong desire to die in her own house instead Reform Act of 1987, which requires that all the National Institute of Mental Health led to folks aged 60 and over, some of whom may of in a facility. At one point the film shows residents in nursing homes receive quality President John F. Kennedy signing into law be physically vulnerable, and an opportunity her apparently wearying and having diffi care and live in an environment that im the Community Health Centers Act of 1963, for socializing instead of isolating. Students culty getting her breath on the very short proves or maintains the quality of their which led to the dismantling of the U.S. asy from the Boston Conservatory offer music walk from her front door to her car. Firestone physical and mental health - care and con lum system. some Thursdays. Vox or the chorus or the explains that Hembrough needed not spe ditions to which they are entitled. Capital Pride Band of Columbus could show cialized health care, but simple support with Our five have stories to tell - and tell them them up if a program like Cafe Emmanuel day-to-day tasks - 24/7 support. But that The Atlanta Legal Aid Society's study com they do. develops here. presented a ponderous challenge to Hem pleted from November 1,1999 to September brough, estranged from her family and, with 30, 2000 found that 38 percent of nursing And homophobia did not disappear com Lisa Krinsky, LICSW, Director of the LGBT a sometimes difficult personality and a so home residents had witnessed abuse of pletely on June 30,1969. Some seniors fear Aging Project in Boston, made a difference cial life limited by her physical energy. The other residents. that the pendulum may swing back the other for folks in at least one of Boston's nursing way Firestone and Hembrough work to find way, as Buckeye queers may very well see home when she took a sensitivity training and organize folks - people Hembrough men GBLT elders do have reason for concern. when Republican Governor John Kasich un program to its staff, helping them learn to tions that she hadn't known one month be Many were in their 20s when Sen. Eugene does Democrat Ted Strickland's antidiscrimi have conversations with residents that those fore they came to her house - to provide that McCarthy acted out his personal issues by nation protection for trans state employees. staffers might find unfamiliar and difficult. 24/7 care is truly marvelous. engaging in anti-gay and anti-Communist Stonewall Columbus could replicate that lo witch hunts. The story of the June 29,1969 But our five friends do not find themselves cally, maybe stealing the lesson plans from You can find a :04 minute trailer for Gen Silent online at http://stumaddux.com/GEN_SILENT.html. outlookcolumbus.com IF this feature were a life span, this would be middle age. Congrats. fel)20u The HOTTEST Winter in the World Got days in the Miami Booch heat. Sizzling dance parties including the debut of lA/inter Party /WAT7AIEE alt climaxing with the WOHCJ'G Gsx/get Beach PW*tyf L/ J ^0 (TMarch S - 7 | SOU ' MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA, USA F"eoturing en Internotionol Linsup of the \A/orld'e Hottest DJs: Abel, Phil B, Alyson Calagna, Charlmix, Dave S Gerardo, Eddie Etas, Hector Fonseca, Joe Gauthreaux, Stephen Grondin, Theresa, Tbifco Ti! HMW artebiD Pj/im tiasgssxsfii-.'-HM-- satuLif®P • Task Force www.rn0naBkForce.org •icBajj ^a Nexr iA KK»H ^.^ .^IWTM A Tar GeT Your marKeT WITH issue speciFic w aDverTisinG OUR TaxinG aD reservaTions WORD. For THese issues • MarCH : POLITICS • APriL: urBan LIVUIG • maY: FOOD & FesTivaLS PICKUP A FREE COPY OF HIGH STREET can our saLes Team NEIGHBORHOODS aT 614.268.8525 FOR TONS OF COUPONS Log onto www.highstreetmoneysavers.com outlook to find out where to pickup a free copy and to print everything is political your online coupons at great savings. Zae Emm will not deliver your Blooms Direct (lowers. outlookeohimlms.com Parallel to the development of modern and gay man or lesbian who earned less than of older straight couples home or to live in poverty to qualify a spouse post-modern GBLT communities through the her or his deceased partner • $14,116 — gay couples for long-term care. Same-sex couples and 20th Century and into the 21st, shifts in • $5,528 - average annual impact of lack • $11,764 — lesbian couples families of choice don't get those exemp U.S. demographics have raised up a popula of spousal benefit tions. An LGBT elder in a committed rela tion of GBLT seniors that now face some • 4.6% - rate of poverty for older straight tionship must still apply for Medicaid times daunting challenges. Social Security is the single most important couples coverage of long-term care as a single per financial safety net program for U.S. older •4.9%-gaycouples son and is therefore entitled to keep a mere Demographers expect the population of U.S. adults. Despite paying into Social Security • 9.1%-lesbian couples $2,000 in countable assets and generally residents aged 65 and over to double to 80 in the same manner as their heterosexual less than $100 in monthly income. million in the next 30 years. That growth peers, LGBT elders are not equally eligible Medicaid is the largest funder of long-term rate is four times that of the U.S. population for Social Security benefits. care in the U.S. For married heterosexual For more info: www.lgbtmap.org or and would continue patterns evident in re couples, Medicaid has exemptions to avoid www.sageusa.org. cent history. In 1900, the U.S. population of 1 $17,176 - annual Social Security Income requiring a healthy partner to sell a shared 76.2 million included 3.1 million folks (4.1 percent of the population) over age 65. Life expectancy was 47 years, increasing to 68 Two Stories of Agifig by 1950. That year 12.3 million seniors constituted 8.1 percent of the U.S. total of Retirement with good health, house, $50K nest egg, and pension Rita and 151.3 million. Americans continued living Ellen longer and longer, and the proportion of the population made up of seniors continued to * Combi n et \ S ot i a I S e< u r i I y o f S1,431 /rnon I h * ("oriibirled Sot:ril Security nf iSJJO/monlli grow until last year's census found a life • I i n a n cial secur i ty wi th jointsu rvivo r pens! on * No joint surviVo' r op Son on pension expectancy of 71 and 40.2 million seniors constituting 13.0 percent of the 308.8 mil i lion total. * Enyayed in community and volunteer ism Feel unwelcome al local senior center JM • 4.1% - proportion of adults identifying as lesbian, gay or bisexual I •1.5 million LGB elders (today) George and Rita faII ill • nearly 3 million (2030) I Icalth providers arc hostile when Lllcn visits • Knowl Christopher Roche. Dirty. Sexy. And the man knows his Stella Adler. oullookcolumbus.com ljU PoM/e% #1 T [Pain Relief Stress Reduction Wellness jay stanforth, Imt 614.395.7630 Relaxation www.duramattersrnassage.com HIV + www.researchprojectoffice.com Disclosure Research Study Earn up to $235 Call 614-688-4168 for more information All personal information will be kept confidential Project of Dr. Julie Serovich - The Ohio State University -1050 Carmack Road ^ 9 Ohio KentSn,,,^ Suicide Prevention V Foundation If you are in crisis^ CALL 800.273.TALK (8255) PROPERTY RENTAL & SALES APTS, CONDOS & HOUSES NOW AVAILABLE BEACON 2JSE2 Property Management 614.228.6700 and Realty, Inc. beacon ma n.com oullookcolumbus.com Crisis* does not include losing the car keys, watching a Nicholas Cage movie, or discovering that grandma organized the dildo collection. fcbson deep inside holljwood ANNE HATHAWAY BEGS FOR, THEN GETS, cast of the Nickelodeon kid show, Supah through the shattered remains of memory ROLE ON GLEE Ninja, where hell play the spiritual guide to and identity." But at this point, hopeful Caou his ninja-in-training grandson and his ette (and Chloe) fans will take what they can Sometime an A-list actor still has to audition friends. His character is deceased - and no, for a role. Sometimes the A-list actor just gets not gay like Takei at all - but will communi a call and an offer. And sometimes that A-list cate as a hologram from the afterlife, provid MORE REAL YOUNG LESBIANS, LESS REAL actor grovels and begs. That's what Anne ing elder statesman wisdom, ninja tips and OLD ONES Hathaway's been doing lately, in her ongoing the occasional comic one-liner. No word yet on campaign of pestering Glee creator Ryan when the show will debut, but keep checking Maybe you watched The Real L Word and Murphy for a part. And if you think that noth those DVR listings. It's sure to be an easier found it... lacking. Maybe you were sort of - ing goes down at the Golden Globes besides find in the alphabetical queue than $#*! fl OK, really - bored. Well, Showtime has what drunkenness, irrelevant award dispensing Dad Says. that they think is the answer to that blah feel and everybody getting angry at Ricky Gervais, ing radiating from your TV. When season two then you're wrong. Sometime during a com CHLOE SEVIGN Y'S SHORT VISIT TO SUN of the reality series about a group of Los An mercial break at the most recent fete, Murphy DANCE geles lesbians debuts this summer, there'll be handed Hathaway her part, one where she'll more focus on dreadlocked Whitney and her be playing Chris Colter's singing lesbian Jonathan Caouette is a man who takes his crew of young, hip, twenty-something friends. aunt. How's that for a rarefied atmosphere? It time. His Sundance Film Festival sensation, And minimizing everyone else's camera time definitely beats being discovered at the Wal- the intimate documentary Tarnation, is now isn't even much of a tradeoff. It's not like the Mart or on YouTube. And for all we know right eight years old. And since that burst of indie older cast members were spouting golden now, Hathaway could pop up on the air much fame he's made a documentary about the nuggets of lesbian life wisdom every time sooner (season two) rather than later (season very hip All Tomorrow's Parties music festival, they opened their mouths. Why shouldn't the ). They move quickly over in the Glee uni- and that's kind of it in terms of real output. spotlight shine on the pretty young things and Now comes news that this month's Sundance their ability to party all night on a Tuesday? Film Festival will feature new work from It's a reality soap opera, after all; no one's EGE TAKEI IS A GAY NINJA Caouette, a film called All Flowers In Time, mistaking it for Masterpiece Theater. And be featuring Big Love star Chloe Sevigny. One lit cause it's Showtime, they're all going to con r-cool George Takei, best known as Sulu tle detail: it's 14 minutes long, which isn't tinue taking off their tops. Everybody wins. e original Star Trek series and as the one much longer than those funny little Sevigny till resisting the anti-charms of William parody videos all over YouTube right now, and Romeo San Vicente believes there should be a 24-hour ner, has a new job: he's going to be a which also seems sort of short for a movie all-lesbian channel. He can be reached care of this pub lication or at [email protected]. ead holographic ninja. Takei is joining the that IMDB.com claims is "a guided tour ^3 frames ROLE/PLRY by Gregg Shapiro Also checking in is gay to the resort is marriage activist Trey (Matthew Montgomery), who is sup Rob Williams' 2009 gay holiday romp Make the posed to be celebrating his wedding anniversary Yuletide Gay was a delight. Sexy and side-split- with his husband. But Trey is alone, arriving on tingly funny, it was a gift that keeps on giving. the heels of his own scandal, one involving infi delity. After some initial antagonism (read bitchi- Unfortunately, the same doesn't hold true for the ness), Graham and Trey find themselves making overly chatty and unsexy Role/Play (Guest House friends and then making love. Films). Nothing if not ambitious, Williams at tempts to tackle far too many topics (ranging From there we, along with Alex and wise young from the death of the gay media and the younger resort guest Ricky (Brian Nolan), observe the pair gay generation's ignorance of gay culture to gay go through the bloom of new love only to be faced marriage and being gay in Hollywood, among with the reality of what lies out there for both of others) and winds up shorting the audience on them. When each of them reveals the truth of entertainment. their situations, which provide some clever twists to Williams' credit, the conflicts seem insur The movie opens with closeted soap opera actor mountable, although you can smell the happy Graham (Steve Callahan) giving his first public ending a mile away. A minor disappointment interview since "the incident." What incident, you when compared to his previous film, Williams ask? Just the leaking of a videotape of Graham still remains a filmmaker worth following; even if having (unprotected) sex with another man. The Role/Play is played out. other man? Graham's partner of five years, fellow soap actor Parker (Matthew Stephen Herrick). In DVD extras include director Williams' commen order to escape the media circus, Graham checks tary, outtakes and Getting Into Character: The in to a Palm Springs inn run by Alex (David Pevs Making of Role/Play, a behind the scenes fea- ner) where he fields phone calls from his manic, turette. if distracted, agent Bernie (Jim J. Bullock). Who wouldn't be happy to find George Takei lurking in the shadows oi their bedroom? oullookcolumbus.com BECOME A 849 N. High St. Columbus, OH 43215 COLUMBUS K 4 (614) 294-2489 IMPERO www.imperocoffee.com FIREFIGHTER ^HIMIHIi,,,,, The City of Columbus, COFFEE We proudly serve: Division of Fire, is an Equal Opportunity ROASTERS 5^ SlmpleS wects Employer, and is actively Frtiilily rudbled <_<_>fffc?e Applications accepted YOGA CLASS online only at *4Y www.csc.columbus.gov SATURDAYS 11 AM ******** and our next application FOR MORE INFORMATION: and testing timeframe is Mar 10 -Apr 1, 2011. 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BUCKEYE REGION ANTI-VIOLENCE • ORGANIZATION oullookcolttmbus.com She thought she could hide her name in small print but SHERRJ DRIBBLELIPS is in The Most Eabulous Show on Earth. fashion fwd Fashion of Youth by Ryan Harris Are people actually aging slower, or is cosmetic healthier lifestyles and don't want to look like the green flag to pick up a pair of yoga pants science simply helping create the illusion that the old lady next door. Today's grandma would with the word "Sexy" in sequence lettering I can remember my grandmother as if she were they are? much rather wear outfits at her favorite bou across the back end; as an adult, you still must here yesterday. She was (as most people feel tique rather than house socks and a matching have good taste. about their grandmother) the best grandmother There is no denying that improved nutrition, ex in the entire world. She was fun to play with, ercise and medical advancements are greatly Some people may say this is basic fashion evo cook with, talk with, and could always make me contributing to people living longer, healthier There are limitations, however, that we can lution, with styles simply changing as the times feel better no matter how bad of a day I was lifestyles and allowing them to feel younger. But never forget. We have all heard the phrase change and I do agree. But I can't help but feel having. But something I also remember about I'm not sure this explains why they actually look "Dress your age", but what does that mean ex that it isn't time changing styles, it's the con her was how I always thought she was so old, younger. actly? Clearly parents use it to tell their children sumer. In other words, unless you have a wish even when she wasn't. What made me always not to grow up to fast, and stylists use it to tell ing well in your back yard, fashion is the modern think that of her? Well... she looked old. And it Many of you may be thinking "Duh, Ryan, it's their clients not to dress like their teenagers, but day Fountain of Youth.. ..or should I say the wasn't just her; it was all of her friends as well. called going under the knife," and I can't totally other than that, who is to say what is and isn't Fashion of Youth. They all seemed so old to me. Now, I look at my disagree on that. Where once there were Tupper- age appropriate for adults? I think we should mother, who is (sorry mom) turning 67 this year, ware parties - now there are Botox parties. What change that phrase to "Dress the age you look." So before you call up the local plastic surgeon, the same age my grandmother was when I was once was a local beauty shop is now a Grand Last time I checked, the malls are not filled with or spend hundreds of dollars on skin care prod 12 year old, and I think to myself, "my mom is Salon, offering more than just a cut and color, stores called "Age 30 through 35" or "Age 70 ucts, simply start by going through your so young!" Why is this? She is a grandmother but full beauty services ranging from skin, hair, and Up" (yes, I know there is a Forever 21, but wardrobe. Sure, you may need to pick up a few herself now. The age is the same, so what has nails, and even full-blown makeovers. Every just go with me on this). It's up to the consumer, newer pieces, but chances are you won't need to changed? Is it only a young child's perception of where you look you find new lotions, facial and clearly today's consumer has options be replace your entire closet, rather pair the pieces age, or are people actually getting younger? cleaners and rejuvenating eye creams, but that yond a pair of wash and wear polyester pants. together in a more modern style. Give it a try still doesn't fully explain. I know for a fact that They want leggings or a classic chino.. .you get Columbus, and if you follow this path you are I think it is safe to say that a child's perception my mother has never had a single "procedure" my point. sure to stumble upon the Fashion of Youth! of age is definitely way off. I'm sure my nephews done and she still looks younger than my grand think I am old as hell at only 33. But I decided to mother did at her age. So I came to the only con Department stores that cater to adults are carry Make Everyday a Runway! put this theory to a test. I began pulling out pho clusion a fashion consultant and stylist could ing clothing that looks younger and younger tos of my grandmother and comparing them to come to: the final piece of this puzzle is Fash these days, and don't think for a single second photos of my mother at the same age. The proof ion!!! that it isn't consumer driven. I have read several Ryan Harris is a Fashion Consultant/Stylist for Wardrobe was right in front of my face. My mother consis studies on this topic and in some studies a Therapy LLC and the owner of RH Model Mentor. Contact him at [email protected] or for more style info tently appeared years younger than my grand Styles have changed so drastically over the whopping 89% of women strive to dress visit www.wardrobetherapyIlc.com. mother. So that leads me to the next question: years mainly because people are living longer, younger to appear more youthful. Now this isn't Though oddly, ass less cliaps are the fashion of the old. oullookcolunibiis.com 'comiiiN columbus ™ metropo itai orums (§j) ub Wed. Feb 2,12:00 -1:15 p.m. @ ACC, Fueling Ohio's Future Series "Electric Cars Night Drive our Future" featuring Dr. Giorgio Rizzoni. Director. Center for Automotive Resaxh. The Ohio State University; with John Pohlll. Yenturi North America CEO, Ram Sastry Distribution Research S Technology AEP and Brandon Perkins. Project Manager, ODOT Office of Innovation, Partnerships & Energy Wed. Feb 9,12:00 -1:15 p.m. @ ACC, Dispatch Chats Forum "False Justice: Eight Myths that Convict the Innocent" _RRESENTEP BY OUTLOOK MEDIA, featuring Jim arid Nancy Petro interviewed by Alan Johnson, The Columbus Dispatch. Wed. Feb 16,12:00 1:15 p.m. @ACC, Regular Wednesday Forum CBUS'S BEST NETWORKING "One Girl; The Status of Girls in Central Ohio" featuring Kelly Budrc s. Director ol Programs, Tbe Women's Fund; Dr. Lisa Hinkelman, Executive Director of the Interprofessional Commission of Ohio and Founder/ Director of EVENT HELD THE 2ND Ruling Our Experiences (ROX) and moderator Ann Fisher, WOSU Public Med a. Wed. Feb 23,12:00 1:15 p.m. @ ACC, Regular Wednesday Forum to be announced. WEDNESDAY EVERY MONTH! REGISTER AT COLUMBUSMETROCLUB.ORG OR CALL 614.464.3220 FREE ADMISSION & FOOD! In Central Ohio,. ^ an HIV InfepkSn ha GO ONLINE FOR THE LATEST CALENDAR OF EVENTS! WWW.NETWORKCOLUMBUS.COM oullookcohtmbtts.com Shop outside the box. but use protection. That's the moral of this page. fcl)20ii Ill Carlton's glorious, dangerous denial. by MarkS King commerce. time for a relationship right now, you "Good for you, my dear. I would do I wasn't sure what line of questioning "I had a fabulous date this week," are completely correct." The moment more charity work myself but with my My friend Carlton is a chain smoker, to pursue. What might constitute an Carlton is saying. "Square jawed. had passed. "Besides, my phone is travel schedule..." He managed to even if all his cigarettes are imagi authentic ranch hand, I wondered, or Handsome. And everything just where ringing off the hook this week." He find something fascinating in the bot nary. why one of them might wander into it should be, darling. Puff puff!" giggled and sipped his wine. "My tom of his wine glass and his voice the kind of bars Carlton favored. But I dance card is filled, darling." trailed off. His standard pose consists of one was in no hurry to expose his curious "You can't call them a date if you pay hand resting on his hip - elbow jutting thinking. Multiple opportunities would them, Carl." I liked injecting the pro "Oh Carl. .."I sighed. "It's the first of I have made remarks about HIV test out as if in the midst of a runway strut typically present themselves. ceedings with jolts of sanity, like a the month." ing to Carlton but he waves them - while the other arm is forever in mo random slice of sunlight piercing a away, often with a joke about his piti tion, his hand swiveling constantly "Really?" I asked politely. forgotten attic. "And so?" ful sex life, despite what he may say around his face and shoulders. about his dance card. He knows I write "Oh let me tell you! That Brokeback "Don't say that! You're terrible," he "Rent is due, sweetie." My eyes met a a blog about living with HIV but he All that's missing is the cigarette, movie? There was a real lack of clean cries, waving me away, his fingers blank stare. "And so... yourfriends certainly has never visited it. He is a which you would swear you witnessed liness, didn't you see that? Those gripping his phantom Benson & are calling for dates." generous patron of other sites, how him smoking after having met him. straight boys... maybe they were Hedges Menthol 100. ever. Sites with secure transactions Carlton even punctuates wry remarks adorable, but my God! I was holding He wrinkled his nose, considering that help him populate date nights by tapping his index fingers soundly my nose just watching that movie." "This is reality checking in, Carlton. whether one fact had anything to do with young men who, if you believe on some phantom, extended filter. If They're called prostitutes. Street hus with the other. He was unconvinced. them as fervently as Carlton does, are his remark is particularly withering or "Carlton, the guys weren't straight. tlers, knowing you." just a little hard up or without a girl at least gets a laugh, he'll bring two They were gay and living a lie. That "Be that as it may," he said finally, re friend or need a bus ticket back home. fingers to his lips and add "puff puff, was the whole point of the film." "Stop!" He protested, and then turning to his wine. "But please, dar darling..." feigned resignation. "He was straight, ling, don't try to take away from my We strolled out of the restaurant and I "Oh they were straight," he reiterated, believe you me. And I think he really funsy-poo." madly craved a cigarette after all that Carlton's age lies somewhere on the despite all evidence, cinematic and likes me." Carlton had seemingly consumed. He distant side of sixty. He was raised otherwise, to the contrary, "believe you "Funsy-poo?" I responded. He smiled lightly brushed me with a kiss and after Stonewall but on a far more me." I was tempted to respond, knowing sweetly. Whatever bottle of lube rests promised to call in a few days if he moneyed block of New York City, where the remark would lead down an enter on Carlton's nightstand, you can bet it could possibly find the time. He slowly discussion of queers was verboten. Carlton insists that his conquests be taining rabbit hole of delusion and de sits on an embroidered doily. From sauntered away, taking in window dis Even today, Carlton insists that com straight, or at least a reasonable fac nial, but it felt like poking an animal Mother. plays and the busboy at a sidewalk ing out to his wealthy mother would be simile. A simple claim of heterosexu- with a stick. I let it pass. eatery with equal interest. He was quite disastrous and a completely sur ality will do. As he funds drink orders Further discussion of his dating risks without care. prising bit of news to her. from male strippers at his local club, "Carlton," I scolded, "you should was a fool's errand, and that went slipping bills personalized with his watch yourself." I was truly concerned double for anything related to HIV, Never have I known anyone who so "I lived in Dallas, dear, years ago" cell number into their posing straps, for his safety. His friends have all about which he spoke in faraway charmingly operates only within ac Carlton is saying during our lunch. We he is most likely to pause for any ut made it clearthat he isn't allowed to terms, like a Daughter of the Confed ceptable truths. For Carlton, self had just switched tables twice, trying terance that includes the words "my live in a building without security eracy discussing the recent unpleas preservation long ago vanquished self to escape the draft that's been stalk girlfriend," "kind of hard up," or "bus cameras and a doorman. We want antness. discovery. ing my friend since Reagan was ignor station." footage to broadcast on America's ing AIDS. "And let me tell you Most Wanted when the time comes. "I'm speaking at an AIDS conference It's a delicate balance, believe you me. something darling. The ranch hands He keeps attachments at a proper dis next week," I said suddenly, to test my one would meet out in the bars had tance, which also helps avoid bother "Oh please. I know, I know..." he re own theory. Carlton glanced from his Mark S King is author of the blog terrible personal hygiene. And I had a some questions from Mother. lented, in an apparent moment of self wine glass with a pitiful smile and www.MyFabulousOisease.com.CommenttO: few, trust me. Just wretched." Romance, alas, is simply a matter of realization. "I couldn't possiblytake then wiped it away with his napkin. [email protected]. KissiiigasinokcrisIikeniakiiigotitMthasanophagiis. oullookcohinibus.com THIS ONE'S TO REMIND ME TO WATER THE PLANTS... HIGH STREETS f THIS ONE'S TO REMIND ME TO WALK THE DOG...THIS ONE'S NEWEST CONCEPT TO REMIND ME OF MY DENTIST APPOINTMENT... HAIRSHOP A NYC-Style Hairshop on High St. Men's cuts starting at $18 Women's cuts starting at $35 Walk in's welcome. Bring this ad in and get half off a haircut** 614-824-1619 1244 N HIGH ST TJFOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK CUTNBLOW.NET erds 2-28-11 Nocombination of discount's. Rolando M. 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Fort Lauderdale boasts more than 30 represents all ages, interests and socioeconomic back Spinelli's Deli as an advertiser and Joe's involvement gay inns and boutique hotels, 150 gay-owned busi grounds." on my board of trustees. Over the years, we have shared nesses and the headquarters for the International Gay good times and bad, triumphs and defeats. & Lesbian Travel Association. In the evenings, we cruised through Wilton Manors, a four-block stretch often described by the locals as Fort We are alike in many ways. We both grew up in the Royal Palms Resort and Spa, located a few blocks from Lauderdale's Castro. A few decades ago, Wilton Manors Cleveland 'burbs, come from ethnic stock, are gregari the Atlantic Ocean, has expanded from an intimate, 12- was a rundown desolate area less than a 10-minute ous, opinionated, demonstrative and involved with room boutique hotel to what managing partner Richard drive from the beaches. Gay entrepreneurship has community activities. We are both absolutely crazy Gray calls "North America's first full-service gay resort transformed the neighborhood into a dynamic GLBT about good food, entertainment and new adventures. hotel." This month, Royal Palms opens a chic new 50- community with dozens of fine restaurants, bars, clubs, room addition, including a spa, gym, cafe and bar. specialty shops and sophisticated condos and rentals. There the similarities seem to end. I am Jewish, straight and happily married. He is Italian, Catholic, During the day, Joe and I relaxed by the pool and sauna, Even on weekdays, every place was booming with music unabashedly gay and in love with his partner. This year, soaking up the warm sunny rays and chatting amicably and crowds eager to enjoy drag shows, dance clubs, I will be 70 and look forward to semi-retirement. Joe with guests from across the U.S. and Canada. For neighborhood cafes and live entertainment. Some of just turned 40 and has recently opened a second deli lunch, we dined at Shooters Waterfront Cafe the places of note include Boom, Bill's Filling Station, with his business partner Bill Ward in downtown (954.566.2855) and the Greek Islands Taverna Rosie's Bar & Grill, Sideline Sports Bar, Georgie's Alibi, Columbus. (954.565.5505). There are also more than a dozen The Naked Grape Wine Bar and Ramrod, a Levi/leather nearby outstanding restaurants on fashionable Las uniform bar. Of note is the new Wilton Manor, a multi It is in this context that onlookers are mystified that Joe Olas Boulevard. million-dollar pleasure emporium, combining restau and I are frequent traveling buddies. Six years ago we rant, lounge and hot nightclub. We enjoyed outstanding hung out in Costa Rica's rainforest, last year we shared Popular destinations include Sawgrass Mills (www.saw- meals and excellent service at two gay-owned and op a luxurious apartment for a long weekend in Asheville, grassmills.com) Florida's largest retail complex, with erated restaurants - Galanga Thai Kitchen & Sushi Bar North Carolina, checking out the arts scene and eclec 350 brand-name outlets, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth and Primavera, known for its fine Italian cuisine. A nice tic dining. Avenue, Polo Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger stores way to cap off the evening is a visit to the Seminole and Gulfstream Track and Casino, which recently Hard Rock Cafe Hotel & Casino (www.seminole- So when opportunity knocked last November to spend a opened The Village, with an array of international hardrockhollywood.com), with 2,400 slots, 125 table few days at Fort Lauderdale's stylish Royal Palms Re shops. Two other recommended activities are the Sea games, numerous boutiques and more than 20 bars sort (www.royalpalms.com), we didn't hesitate to hook Experience Glass Bottom Snorkel Tour (www.seaexperi- and restaurants. up again. However, what made this getaway somewhat ence.com) and the Water Taxi (www.watertaxi.com), unusual was the resort's published policy that it is for with a dozen stops along the city's waterways. For more information, contact the Greater Fort Laud GAY MEN ONLY. erdale Convention & Visitors Bureau at 800.227.8669 or While there, I stopped by the Museum of Art/Fort Laud www.sunny.org/glbt, where you can download "Mild to What we discovered during our all-too-brief visit is that erdale Nova Southern University for a chat with execu Wild," a new GLBTmobile site. Fort Lauderdale, located in South Florida's Broward tive director Irv Lippman, former director of the County, is a tropical paradise. With 23 miles of palm- Columbus Museum of Art. He told me that he and his Columbus-based travel writer Aaron Leventhal has recently begun a small group vacation company, specializing in economical trips to fringed, white, sandy beaches, 300 miles of navigable partner moved to Fort Lauderdale in 2003, and they exotic destinations. Check it out at LeventhalTravel.com. A resort for gay men only? What's next! A bathing establishment for gay men? out lookc oliinibus.com Skin Care and Laser Treatment Center Walker Dermatology Center professionals work to provide the ultimate skin care in a relaxing atmosphere. Visit www.waUcerdeTmatology.com and see how we bring out your most beautiful TOU! DOOLEY COMPANY CLASSIC PROPERTIES R E A I, I O R S k i: A i T y Dooley & Company Realtors lias joined Keller Williams Classic Properties! 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Despite what seems like constant ef and I have not had a third in a few years. I've had a couple fort on my part to raise my exes' confidence in themselves, I'm from the other side of the country, but I'm sitting in my dates in that time (with both guys and girls), disclosed, intro they never got any better and the relationships always ended. lover's San Francisco apartment wondering what I'm doing. I duced them to my boyfriend, etc., and done everything a good I'm not exactly bursting with confidence myself, either, but I flew out here to spend five glorious days with her. We connect poly boy is supposed to do. I didn't end up dating any of them, tried my best to be a loving and supportive boyfriend. Yet time sexually (she's a Dom stone-butch top, I'm a queer femme just from lack of personality/sexual compatibility. and time again, their images of themselves somehow seemed sub), we connect intellectually, and we make each other laugh. to actually turn worse, not better. I attribute a lot of their initial I'm head over heels for her and for this city. I've never been to a speed-dating event before, though, so I'm insecurity to the media, but I can't help but believe I somehow not sure about protocol. I think that bringing up bi/poly would screw up and exacerbate it. But she's literally twice my age. In no way does this bother me. make the whole five minutes (or whatever) about that and I'd She's handsome and wonderful and I'm so proud to be with her. really rather talk about mutual interests etc. Sexual orientation Troubled Horndog In Need But she frets that she's too old for me and will die before me is a rather overdone topic to me, and talking about only that and it isn't fair to have the feelings we do. wouldn't let me figure out if I'm even interested in the other You're young and you've accepted your attraction to bigger girls, person. I'm not embarrassed by it at all (I'm completely un- THIN, and that's great But the girls you've dated - presumably I can hang on to this ledge, Dan, and not let myself utterly fall closeted); I'd just rather talk about more interesting things. close to your own age - are doubtless still struggling with all the for this woman so that she doesn't break my heart when she shit that's been thrown at them about their bodies. To grow confi says we must part as friends. I think that is what is coming. But So should I disclose during a speed date that I am (1) poly dent about something that caused you a lot of pain - to say noth I know she feels conflicted, and I can't see anything wrong and/or (2) bisexual, or should I save it for a follow-up date? ing of being with someone who's attracted to you in large part with the two of us enjoying what time we have together. The fu because of that something-that-caused-you-pain - can take ture is unfixed for everyone; you never know what will happen Speed Disclosure time. tomorrow. Why deny something we both want, if it's what we both want? I tried to contact a few speed-dating businesses but couldn't find That said, THIN, if all the bigger girls you've dated emerged from one with a contact phone number on its website - and that fact, your relationship feeling worse about themselves and their bod If I have to just walk away from this with a slew of great memo coupled with the Mountain-Dew-swilling-teenager-on-MySpace ies. .. you might be doing something wrong. Were you treating ries of a loving introduction to the greatest city on earth, there quality of the sites themselves, kind of makes commercial speed- your girlfriends like human beings and talking about their bodies are certainly worse things. But I wish I could convince her to at dating services look a little tawdry. in a way that made them feel attractive? Or did you treat them least let us have a chance. How can I do that, Dan? What on like fetish objects and talk about their bodies in a way that made earth can I say? Anyway, SD, disclosure is called for when a routine, obvious, and them feel disgusted with themselves - and with you? logical assumption is incorrect Since most people are straight, Lost In Fog Everyday the onus is on the gay person to come out Since most gay people I'm a gay college student who's into bondage and kink. I'm also aren't morons, the onus is on members of GOProud to identify very involved with the Episcopal Church and want to become a Start with the cliches - "Age is just a number/' "I could get hit by themselves before getting disrobed. leader in my church. I don't think that my predilection for a bus tomorrow," "Someone's gotta change your diapers" - and bondage and my desire to pursue ordained ministry conflict finish with a grace note: You love her, and you want to be with her, Other speed daters are going to make the reasonable assumption especially because I am fairly monogamous. Is there a con and you hope you'll always be close, whatever she ultimately de that you are (1) single and (2) gay or straight, depending on flict? cides. whether we're talking about a gay or straight speed-dating event. Wannabe Ordained Kinkster That said, and forgive me for this, LIFE, it's possible that although That said, SD, due to prejudices beyond your control - biphobia, this woman is what you want, you're not what she wants - for rea polyphobia - you may omit the bi/poly info about yourself on that I don't see a conflict, WOK, but I am not now, nor have I ever been, sons that have nothing to do with age. She may be pointing to the first five-minute date. But you're obligated to disclose before a the Archbishop of Canterbury. If you can meet and marry a nice obvious age discrepancy because it's a convenient, face-saving second date is arranged. Not to spare the women and/or men you boy who shares your kinks, and you remain successfully monoga out, a way for her to pull the plug while sparing your feelings. might wind up dating from the unspeakable horrors of going out mous, and you have no desire to go to the Folsom Street Fair or with a bi/poly dude, but to avoid wasting time on women and/or post play pictures of yourself on kinky personal sites, I don't see So a word of warning: If she wants out and cites age, you may be men who can't handle it how your coreligionists will learn about your sexual interests, tempted to press your case - and you should, up to a point - but much less be scandalized by 'em. press your case too far, and she may wind up telling you the in I am a 19-year-old straight male who is only attracted to convenient, face-squandering, feelings-spearing truth. chubby girls, though I myself am rather skinny. It took a while, That said, WOK, urn... I have nothing more to add. Fuck Sarah but I've learned to embrace this (though at first it seemed al Palin, go Bears, preorders: tinyurl.com/4f2g524. I'm a bi male in a long-distance, long-term, and hypothetically most as scary as if I were to come out as gay). However, the poly relationship, and I'm going to a speed-dating event soon. problem I seem to have now is that the girls whom I find at Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at tractive - big girls - don't think of themselves as attractive and thestranger.com/savage. [email protected]. oullookeolumbus.com God does lake a certain pleasure in punishing people. oulIookeoliuiibus.com Its safer lhan smoking.. Feb xo 11 astroferecastL byJackFertig "Think twice, Aries!" sistible as those itri -^'^•^^f^rn : Venus in Sagittarius square safe. Right now every acci-:. Jupiter and Uranus in Pisces dent and bug around is out to should be very sensual, imag- get yon. irfative and innovative, if per haps a bit over-indulgent. LEO (July 2-3 - August 22): You —.;-->***B'^^"^^^H •n£ Mars-and the Sun in Aquarius and your partner (whether for | are bringing out the edgy in- life or for fan) are both full of likely know our celeb from boozing it Hav jiovative side, maybe a bit'too grand fantasies,; not quite by Chris Hayes ing bartended at the old Union Station hardcore. Pushing too hard meeting on planet Earth. Try Video Cafe and Downtown Connection, can spoil the energy. To get lying back and letting your , Whether you know him as an entrepreneur, and an investor in the old Red Dog Cafe, where you want to go, relax honeytake the lead. You ! a neighborhood pioneer or a sex pig, odds Wagner always had a dream of owning his and pay attentiorrto subtle could find it a very happy sur- are you've been served by this month's own leather bar. "Careful what you wish ;, clues. •• prise; xal celebrity. for," he laughs. Originally he was in con tract to buy the Eagle and The Eagle in AQUARIUS (January 20-Feb VIRGO (August 23-Septem 45 year-old Rob Wagner is a farm boy at Exile in 2001, but owner Todd passed the ruary 18): Your sociar ber 22): Jf you and your part-; heart. After being bom in Toledo, the Wag day before closing, and after many a fam charisma is strong, but exer- ner or roommate are arguing ners did a stay in Fremont before settling ily will challenge and court prxeedings, cising.it risks a greater price over housekeeping, your best on a farm in Van Wert. It was on that farm Rob finally became proud owner of the than you imagine. Be careful strategy for now is to relax he grew up in a traditional all American Eagle in Exile bar at 893 N 4th St in 2007. about anysommitraents of indie flexible, YOU probably oving family with his two older sisters & Under his ownership, Exile, as we all now time and energy. You'll find don't like that, but the alter parents. Though his dad was transferred call it, has had a major transformation. you had less thaiVyou . native just brings more trou- thought \ . •' to Columbus his junior year, Rob stayed on The once seedy, scary, dark cruise bar is the farm til he graduated High School, now much more of a neighborhood hang : and then made his way to our beloved out, then hookup bar. "I want it to still be PISCES (February19 vMarch LIBRA (September 23- Octo Cow Town, where he has made a name for cruise-y. I've always loved that part of 19): Consider your ambitions ber 22): Usually you could himself for the past 27 years. going out," Rob says. "The flirting and the carefully. A burst of energy teadfi "sweet and charming," fun, but I didn't want it to be scary any now tempts you to overextertd but now you seem to need a Over those years, Rob has had a variety of more, or for people to feel that getting off yourself. Some courage is remedial course. Try to stay obs, including managing a Brice Road was the reason to come here. I think peo good, but meditate and think . focused pn.tasks at h^nd and KFCright out of High School, working for ple are pleasantly surprised when they see ahead before you promise to be creative on paper or on • Bombay Bicycle Club restaurants, and how it's changed." deliver the moon; ,*: screen, fldt aloud* IfiX a friend managing Plant Land Garden Centers. It '•*". -." • * y" •'- • confirm your brilliancebefore was his time at PLGC that spawned his And changed rt has. The 1800s building ARIES(March 20 -April i&V you seitd gnything out . interest in landscaping and lead him to was completely reinforced, the bar area Friendly provocation, dares attend Columbus State and OSU (Go was completely rebuilt, the once boarded- and seductions can lead you SCORPIO (October 23-No-; Bucks!) for Landscape Architecture. He up front windows and door were revealed, too easily into trouble*. Medi vembgr. 21): Your creative eventually opened his own business, an extensive landscaped back patio offers tation and calm help you hear Grises can be resojyed at ' Earthcare Landscape, in 1990. If you were a relaxed open-air space featuring fire pits that inner voice that guides ;' home or by lopkingat family ucky enough to have him service your and trees, a steel staircase was added to you. Don't avoid your friends'. "wisdom'' in new ways. Guard yard, then yours was definitely one of the the back yard, as was the Torso Leather Just think twice to avoid going, against extravagance. You .. best on the block. The Earthcare yard and Fetish shop, and the dark interior is along with something foolish. can transform old junk into. . signs and trucks, with a sexy staff of hard now lit up. Rob did the $400,000 renova new treasures: Focusing your working men & women also, were seen tion nearly himself, but he credits the will is the hard part. The rest egularty in all the surrounding Villages. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A countless volunteers who helped make simple effort at a friendly se- is easy! '-./••• His green thumb got him notoriety not only Exile the space it is today. Long term, ram your neighbors, but also magazines ductwn is liable to.blow up in ike Better Homes & Gardens and Wagner wants to take three adjoining yburT^ce and expose you to SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - Women's Day, and his own home was fea properties and make an iconic complex ridicule. Think ahead about December 20): Revelatory let tured in The 2010 Urban Home and Gar that gays, straights and all in-between, your romantic/sexual needs ters to your family will lead to den Tour. can enjoy for decades to come. He says his d talkwith a.friend you more drama than expected. goal is to create a place where everyone bw you can trust with your Tfiat could be good in the long can hang out together. "We are all individ secrets -or a professional run for getting everything out j uals, freaks and crazy in our own way. I But greenery isn't the only thing he's good counselor. ; in the clear, but the road to . at constructing. Rob's also great at build want us all to get together and celebrate calm resolutions has a lot of ing buildings. Case in point, his home on that. Celebrate each other and respect our GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You loud and nasty"on the way! 4th Street, three doors up from Exile Bar. differences." A great motto to have, no? can be too eager to get ahead After 3 years in deliberation with the Ital and out to new vistas. Asking CAPRICORN (December 21 - ian Village Commission, Rob finally got If Rob hasn't serviced your lawn, your questions and working to un January 19): The stars are approval to tear down a dilapidated shack home, or drinking habits, maybe you know bus is the variety of things to do here - if derstand the answers is bet opening you up for therapeu on the lot and build a replacement. The re our celeb from sex-scapades in his infa he could ever get out to do them. Since ter than assuming that you tic release of secrets and sult is a stunning cottage that earned him mous dungeon playspace. This cigar- opening the bar, he hasn't had a vacation, already know everything you - problems. Choose the time, the Italian Village Commission's Recogni smoking, leather pig, Top-Daddy likes the been out to movies, or even to dinner. Now need to take the next step. place and confidante very tion Award for Work in Italian Village and sex'n's and is anything but shy about his that's ridiculous! To help this sexy busi carefully or your worst se the Most Improved Property Award, which sexual proclivities. If you're into walk-in ness owner relax, you can buy the guy a CANCER (June 21-July 22): crets will be out all over the he proudly displays on his mantle, and scenes, slings or jelly beans (just kidding) shot of Goidschlager But since he's not You're looking very sexy, but place. has been featured in a magazine or two then hit this Daddy up to get down for a really a drinker, it might be better yet to slippery. You may be as irre- also. tour of the Dungeon or of the Exile. We're just buy your friends a round and toast to sure you won't be disappointed. Woof. Rob. Either way, let's all support this Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the ' I But if knowing the who's who of plants unique friendly local hang out that is so tional Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can' j and houses isn't yourthing, then you most Rob says his favorite thing about Colum- openly inviting to everyone. personal or business consultations at www.starjacK.com, Sometimes a cigar is more than just a cigar. outlookcolumbus.com r~ MARCH 3-6,201'/ 1 LiveWell. •tf AN THAT ATTRACTS THE WORLD! Id Classic Arnol ur Fitness, Figure & Bikini . Men's & Women's ! n Archery Armwrestling Art At The Arnold Ask Arn .ess Bikini International Boxing Cheerleading & Dance CrossFit {March 4-6) Fencing Figure International Fitness International Grapplin ickey Judo Karate Martial Arts Festival Ms. International Party With, Pump & Run (5K Run/Walk) Skateboarding Strength Training Summit ! Table Tennis Tae Kwon Do Teen Challenge Track & Field Weightlifting or»# ARN0LDSP0RTSFEST1VAL.COM Veterans Memorial • Greater Columbus Convention Center • Dispatch Ice Haus • Chiller Ice Rinks LC Pavilion" Arena Grand Movie Theatre" O.S.U. French Field House" Columbus. Ohio USA V UOl.l-l'b BBSS A A CHASE o GYM y Nationwide mWkv^k IE FN* On Your S «o* outlookcolunibus.com And vet Arnic always stops at the Graters in Easton for ice cream when he's in town. Hm.. fob 2011 Rethink Possible Let your TV shows catch up with you for a change. U-verse' lets you watch hit shows on your TV, smartphone and online. BACK WITH A QUALIFYING U-VERSE BUNDLE 800-PICK-ATT | VISIT A STORE | ATT.COM/TV Geographic and service restrictions apply to AT&T U-verse services. Call or go to att.com/tv to see if you qualify. $300 Promotion Card(s) available to new customers purchasing IM50 TV, U-Terse Internet Nax. aid U-verse Voice Unlimited or Nation 900 or FamilyTalk iKditmiMlinewielessplan Offwends 3/1 J/ll Download^ Standard dala charges may apply Other conditions an J restrictions may apMy to all o'fers. Offers may be modified or discontinued a: any time mlhcut notice. AT&T employees or retirees nol eligitle foi promotional otters D2010 AT&T Intellectual Property All rights teservec. AT&T and Ihe AT&T logo are trademarks ol AT&T Intellectual Property. All other marks contained herein are iht prorerty al their respective owners redesigning J your weeknights! TIME WARNER - 13 U-VERSE - 5 NSIGHT - 9 WOW-5 cwcolumbus.com We love Nate. .Also, buy an ad. Everyone. We love sclliii" them! Call Chad & 614-268-8525 X2! outlookcolunilms.com Open Letter To The Ohio's cabinet agencies, state the executive order covered sexual Although I've worn glasses since I Vietnam had continued with his Governor boards, and state commissions. orientation and gender identity. was twelve. powerful leadership. Nearly three quarters of Ohioans Governor Kasich's order only in Dear Governor Kasich, favor employment and housing cludes sexual orientation. While your black print, on hazy and Today, the FBI is assaulting nonvio laws that make it illegal to dis dark gray pages looks really 'artsy' lent leaders like Dr. King with brain Ohio law currently allows for legal criminate based on sexual orienta As a member of the business com I guess, it's illegible to most situa implants done against their will, to discrimination in employment, tion or gender identity; thus a move munity, Governor Kasich should un tions. I strain to read the thing sit put them into mental institutions. I housing, and public accommoda in this direction would be represen derstand that the threat of ting in my own easy chair under an have this well documented at tion based on sexual orientation tative of Ohio's values. discrimination is toxic to any work open window in mid-afternoon, and www.brainimplant.info. and gender identity. Despite, the place. It becomes more difficult to in a Bar? Forget it! Pictures only. 2009 passage of HB 176 (Equal As a dedicated leader of Ohio, such retain and recruit the best talent The FBI is also breaking into homes Housing and Employment Act- an order will underscore your com when they may fear reprisal simply Imagine what somebody who has on a daily basis to conduct EHEA) in the Ohio House of Repre mitment to strengthening our state because of who they are. even slightly impaired vision would searches against people's will and sentatives, this form of and will communicate the impor have to endure? But I can't imag without a court warrant. They also discrimination remains legal as tance of economic security for all Transgendered people are perhaps ine they even make the attempt are putting GPS tracking devices the bill failed to move forward in Ohioans. I believe you said it best one of the most vulnerable groups any more. on people's cars without their per the Senate. In light of the lack of in the following statement, of Ohioans because fear and mission or a court order (see legislative success of EHEA, Gover ".. .when our families have jobs, stigma continue to follow the com Thanks for reading, cuz' I can't, www.repealthepatriotact.org). nor Ted Strickland issued an execu they have hope. They have dreams. munity. Those who were already Chris tive order prohibiting And they have strength. It is my employed by the state and were Columbus, OH With hundreds of thousands of discrimination based on sexual ori only purpose and my only passion." open about their lives are now in documents and numerous covert entation or gender identity in em the unenviable position of being Name Check Anyone? surveillance operations done on Dr. ployment decisions made in Ohio's I thank you for your consideration fired or demoted because they are King, why could the FBI have not cabinet agencies, state boards, in this matter and all matters of no longer protected. This is unfair To the Editor worked on protecting the great civil and state commissions. Since tak equality. I happily welcome further and unacceptable for our public rights leader, rather than assault ing office, you have allowed this conversation regarding anti-dis servants. I really appreciate your bringing ing him? order to expire. criminatory legislation and to Berenice Abbott to the attention of specifically discuss research illus The executive order prohibits dis your readers - she is one of the I propose the repeal of the Patriot In your inauguration speech you trating the need for this important crimination against only those em greatest of photographers. But the Act (which is already unconstitu referenced the importance of God step of leadership. I agree with you ployed by the state. Currently, Ohio very least you could do is spell her tional) and the complete rebuilding in your life and specifically shared Governor in your assessment that, does not protect private-sector em name correctly. It is misspelled of the intelligence community from that, "He reminds us that no one ".. .when one part of Ohio hurts, ployees from bias based on sexual multiple times in the January the ground up, with transparency person is superior to any other per we all hurt." orientation and gender identity - issue. and public involvement at all pos son because in his eyes, all are meaning employees can be fired, sible levels and a powerful civil equal." Sincerely, demoted, or unduly passed over for John liberties review of ALL activities. a promotion and have no recourse. via website The FBI was founded on tyranny On November 2, 2010, you were Erin R. Upchurch, MSSA, LSW and oppression, with its creator, elected to serve as Governor for the Diversity Strategist Governor Kasich correctly recog Repeal the Patriot Act Jay Edgar Hoover being a known state of Ohio. As an Ohioan, I need Columbus, Ohio nized it was important to safe Before We All Have Brain terrorist. The entire agency needs to know that you will represent my guard state employees on a wide Implants to be eliminated, or we will all end interests and protect that of my Governor's range of factors, including sexual up with brain implants and be family. I need to know that I can Anti-Discrimination orientation. He should seek to pro To the editor, marched to a Nazi war. exist without fear of discrimina Protections Should Not vide the broadest protection possi tion. Public office should not be a Be Weakened ble, and not exclude a group in As we remember Martin Luther Being an author and scholar of Dr. vehicle to inflict our moral and/or desperate need of acceptance and King Jr., we should also remember Martin Luther King, I believe he religious beliefs on others. I am not To the Editor: equality. who failed to protect him from as would demand a massive reform asking you or anyone else to ap sassination on April 4,1968. Dr. and imprisonment of the terrorists prove of me, my family, or my com The American Civil Liberties Union Sincerely, King would likely still be alive in the police state that the United munity. I'm not concerned with of Ohio urges Governor John Kasich today had the FBI done their duty States has become. It is a police whether or not you agree with what to reconsider his decision to elimi Christine Link to protect him, instead of assault state that failed to protect him occurs in my private life, as I am nate gender identity and expres him with wiretaps, covert surveil from harm, despite the massive not concerned with what occurs in sion from an executive order ACLU of Ohio Executive Director lance and hundreds of pages of number of death threats that he yours. prohibiting discrimination against documents about him that they received, if they were not the ones state employees. The executive You're Hard to Read gathered. who killed him. I am requesting that you sign an order was issued on January 21, Executive Order prohibiting dis and includes groups already pro Greetings, Imagine how much better our world Chad Kister crimination based on sexual orien tected under state and federal Just wanted to let you know I'm would be. if Dr. King had not been Nelsonville, OH tation or gender identity in anti-discrimination laws. Under constantly frustrated attempting to shot, and his movement for justice employment decisions made in previous Governor Ted Strickland, read Outlook, and I'm not even 50. and peace and to end the war in outlookcolumbus.com are you trading this? lcl)20ii Some things in life aren't a choice. Your Internet, Cable and Phone provider is. Let us make this choice an easy one • 66 bundles to choose from starting at just $49.99. • Bundle prices guaranteed until 2012. • No contracts to sign. Experience the WOW! difference. 1-888-/122-7817 wowway.com It's that kind of experience. umiieo ti-ne cffer available :o new customers and current ojswrers adftrg a preset ine. $4499 tundte includes Xote 2M0ps internet and Standard Phone Pxesex*jde taxes, lees addticna equpneit. nsaaocn and usageoased charges. To recewecena*iservces yx rrust lease a VVCrW!mcderT3iS4S9Dermcrth Bundle wicesefegua'ariteeduntI Jaruary 1.2012 C^atf serwiessuc^toeriaTgjwtictfr^^ I've made my choices and lived with them., out lookc oliimbus.com by Doug Maag Wagners attorney Nate Gordon said in his cally done much of the $400,000 in build did with Exile. 20 years of experience dealing with liquor ing renovations himself. "It's almost there With the recent demise of Tradewinds in law, he has never heard of liquor control of now. If you consider the purchase price He admits to feeling a little picked on, con November and Score Bar last month, the ficials running undercover operations five mortgage, extensive building renovations sidering the amount of money and personal gay rumor mill is churning with speculation or six times in the matter of a few months, and equipment purchases, liquor license, effort he has invested in Exile, to make a of which gay bar will be the next to go something they admitted to doing at a and improvements on adjoining properties positive change for the community. under the rainbow. Despite rumblings to the hearing in January. He stopped short of say that are also a part of the Exile, it would contrary, Exile owner Rob Wagner wants his ing the investigation had homophobic un certainly put us over a million." "I was a pioneer in investing in Italian Vil customers and the rest of the gay commu dertones, but said he "stipulated to the lage, raising the bar to make things nicer, nity to know it won't be his bar. facts" at the hearing. In addition to his monetary investment, and now it's like someone is out to get us Wagner has an additional interest in keep and we don't even know why," said Wagner, On Feb 1st, Exile will still have a permit to Gordon said Exile will receive an undeter ing the neighbors happy - his home, which pointing to an award from the Italian Vil operate as usual while Wagner appeals a mined fine for the sexual misconduct viola has been featured on the local home and lage Commission in 2006 for the Most Im recommendation by the Columbus City tion, but the matter of the city's garden tour, is located three houses away. proved Property. "The bar didn't do Council to not renew Exile's liquor license. recommendation to not renew the liquor li He said he has never received a serious anything wrong, it was two patrons acting The bar was one of seven businesses City cense is another story. He said it could take complaint against the existence of his inappropriately. How can you monitor every Council recommended for non-renewal in a years in the appeals process and Exile's business and all of the neighbors have ac one all time? You can't. Everyone here is an December meeting, a meeting Wagner says business should not be affected in the cess to his personal cell phone number they adult and needs behave as a responsible was conducted without properly informing meantime. can call day or night. Being a member of adult and respect the liquor laws." the permit holders of their renewal being in Italian Village Society, Wagner wants to be jeopardy, not to mention, on the agenda for "If the city had a problem with (Exile) it a good neighbor and feels the increased He said improving his property has also im that December meeting. The matter is now would have been nice if the city had con foot traffic has made for a safer area of the proved the Italian Village neighborhood. in front of the state liquor authorities and tacted and informed the permit holder of village. "There hasn't been anymore fatal Many neighbors agree. Incidents like the the appeals process could take years. any issue, but they didn't do that," said gun fire near a neighboring liquor estab homicide that took place near the neighbor Gordon. "Do I think one violation in a 3-year lishment since Exile has gained it's popu ing Sunset Lounge just after he opened a "Someone is causing this undue attention period is a reason for an objection (to a larity." He along with near by residents, couple of years ago are a thing of the past. in the attempt to close us down" said Wag liquor license)? No." believe the increase in numbers of people There is a sense of community thru the pa ner who employs between 15 and 20 people walking to and from the business make for trons of the Exile. depending on the season. 'There are al Admittedly, the bar has a seedy past. Under a safer neighborhood. ways a few people (who) you aren't going to previous ownership, the bar was cited sev "Do they (city officials) want to hear people be able to please." eral times for indecent behavior and liquor Wagner said he hopes the current legal laughing, enjoying themselves and having violations before Wagner bought it three matter is resolved soon because he has fur fun, or do they want to hear the gunfire and The recent trouble for Exile began with in years ago. According to the Ohio Division of ther plans to continue renovations to the helicopters and fear for their safety, that is vestigations on August 27 and September Liquor Control's website, there have been property. He is in contract to rehab three now a thing of the past, partly due to 19, 2010 when an undercover investigator no other violations since he has owned the adjacent buildings along with the neighbor Exile's existence?" asked Wagner. filed two reports of patrons engaged in bar. ing Sunset Lounge. In August of 2010, the public indecency. At least one of the inci auto body shop to the south was permitted Wagner said he would like to invite mem dents was allegedly videotaped. Wagner said he instructs his employees to for liquor in sales, Wagner is waiting for the bers of city council to tour Exile at their ear be observant of any inappropriate behavior outcome of the current City Council issues liest convenience and see for themselves Wagner said the complaint alleged two pa of any type, not just inappropriate adult sit before going thru with any building permits that it is not a seedy dive bar, but an invit trons were involved in inappropriate adult uations, but destructive or aggressive is for renovations to those adjoining proper ing & welcoming local neighborhood hang behavior within the area permitted for sues as well. ties and getting the occupancy permits re out. liquor sales. According to the Ohio Depart quired. He has a purchase option on ment of Public Safety's website, three men "This will be a million dollar property when another nearby property and had planned to were cited for public indecency. it's all clone," said Wagner, who has physi renovate and refurbish all of them as he outlookcoliimbus.com Whatever happened to tbe ndc of 3"s? iel)20ii