PROJECT SUBMISSION PACK
FILM: Moving Pictures
DATE: November 2017
1. Submission Form p2
2. Information Pack p3-9
3. Budget p10-11
4. Sales Estimates p12
5. Script Report p13-14
6. Script p15-129
F I L M S U B M I S S I O N F O R M
PROJECT TITLE: Moving Pictures DATE: 2 November 2017 SHORT SYNOPSIS / LOGLINE London, 1939. War is looming as the director of the National Gallery faces an unbearable task. The entire collection must be hidden in a filthy slate mine near a small Welsh village. A young man’s obsession with a raunchy Rembrandt and a torrential rainstorm bring the villagers together to rescue the pictures, hanging them around town - the pub, washing lines and homes. In the process, their lives (and love) are tickled by a new appreciation of spectacular works.
In the vein of Ned Divine and Grand Seduction, Moving Pictures is a classiccomedy set in the Welsh countryside. APPLICANT DETAILS NAME: Michael Dobbin TEL: M: +1 613 314-0331 COMPANY Peardrop Productions Ltd. EMAIL: [email protected] c/o E Lewucha CONNECTION Producer ADDRESS: 66C Netherwood Road, London W14 TO FILM 0BG PROJECT DETAILS His Master's Voice, Away from PRODUCER/S: Michael Dobbin CREDITS /AWARDS Everywhere LINE PRODUCER: CREDITS /AWARDS WRITER: Crispin Wood CREDITS /AWARDS Comedy GENRE: PRODUCTION CO'S British & NATIONALITY: BUDGET £3.5M NAME: CREDITS /AWARDS Proposed Approached Confirmed LOI DIRECTOR: Crispin Wood Mr. Turner, Sweeny Todd, Harry CAST 1: Timothy Spall Potter Bend it Like Beckham, Truly Madly CAST 2: Juliet Stevenson Deeply CAST 3: Iwan Rheon Game of Thrones, Misfits, Wild Bill CAST 4: Jim Broadbent Moulin Rouge, Cloud Atlas
SHOOTING SCHEDULE – Prep, Principal, Post, delivery Prep Start: 27 August, 2018; Principal Start: 1 October, 2018; Post start 8 October, 2018; Delivery 8 February 2019.
FINANCE DETAILS FINANCIER NATURE OF INVESTMENT AMOUNT £ BUDGET % Proposed Approached Confirmed LOI Welsh Government MIB Equity £700,000 20% UK film tax relief Tax relief £700,000 20% Presale (UK) Presale £250,000 7% National Gallery In-kind TBD TBD SALES INFORMATION SALES AGENT: Carnaby International SALES ESTIMATES: CONTACT: Evelyn Xing LOW: $ TEL: +44 (0)207 434 0185 MEDIUM: $3,600,000 EMAIL: [email protected] HIGH: $4,614,000 PRESALES TERRITORY: DISTRIBUTOR: MG: RIGHTS: UK Bulldog Film Distribution TBD TBD
EXCLUDED / WITHHELD TERRITORIES: DETAILS:
PRODUCTION INFORMATION COUNTRY: % SPEND: DETAILS:
MOVING PICTURES HIDING THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS PAINTINGS WAS AN ART. KEEPING THEM A SECRET WAS A MIRACLE. MOVING PICTURES
London, 1939. War is looming as the director of the National Gallery faces an unbearable task. The entire collection must be hidden in a filthy slate mine near a small Welsh village. A young man’s obsession with a raunchy Rembrandt and a torrential rainstorm bring the villagers together to rescue the pictures, hanging them around town - the pub, washing lines and homes. In the process, their lives (and love) are tickled by a new appreciation of spectacular works.
In the vein of Ned Divine and Grand Seduction, Moving Pictures is a classic comedy set in the Welsh countryside. SYNOPSIS Moving Pictures is a gentle comedy about a small Welsh village suddenly blessed with the presence of the nation’s art treasures and the joy and troubles it brings to the mundane lives of its inhabitants. The story tells of the chance discovery of this secret hoard of paintings and how a young man’s obsession with one particularly raunchy Rembrandt leads to near catastrophe when, during a torrential rainstorm, the mine is accidentally allowed to flood. But the villagers put aside their local squabbles and pull together to rescue the pictures, hanging them up around the pub and in their houses, only to find that their lives – and in particular their love lives - are transformed by a new appreciation of such spectacular works of art they would probably never have otherwise encountered.
This is a film full of wonder and innocence which unite two different cultures in difficult times. The events that take place have remained a precious secret with the Welsh village people for more than seventy years... until now! DIRECTOR’S NOTES
Moving Pictures is a British comedy suitable for the whole family, the basis of the story being set around true events where a small community is suddenly influenced by outside forces. As a format this has proved extremely successful in the past with films such asLocal Hero, Waking Ned and Whisky Galore.
Set in the stunning environment of north west Wales amid the slate mines and secluded villages of the area, a beautiful contrast will be presented on the arrival of some of the world’s most famous paintings.
Visually this will utilise the full use of the cinematic image offering the opportunity to both the director and director of photography to produce dramatic and spectacular visuals within the context of the film. Pictured above is the Welsh village sitting at the foot of the slate hills.
Within all the above is the comedy created by the actions of the cast and how those from both Wales and London deal with the humorous and ill-informed activities of each other. Whether it be a slate miner, a Director of a National Gallery, a simple minded virgin or an alcoholic vicar, all play their part in rescuing some of the most famous paintings in the world from certain doom – even though most are unaware of their heroic acts and the importance of the paintings. As Winston Churchill said at the time: “Not one painting shall leave this island. Bury them deep in the ground.” Unfortunately, they chose our village in Wales. ACTORS
Rawlins - Timothy Spall Mrs. Roberts - Juliet Stevenson Miss Hughes - Miriam Margolyes Joseph - Iwan Rheon
Clark - Jim Broadbent (like) FILMMAKERS
CRISPIN WOOD Crispin is a multi-award winning director who, over the last 20 years, has been working in the commercials and corporate arena. A variety of international clients have employed Crispin’s talent both as Producer and Director -- including Vauxhall Motors, Volkswagen, Bernard Matthews, Lloyds of London, the German Government, Powergen, and many more. Crispin is a film voting member of the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA).
MICHAEL DOBBIN Michael’s track record as producer spans both sides of the Atlantic. Recent titles include Gyorgy Palfi’sHis Master’s Voice and Justin Simms’ Away from Everywhere starring Jason Priestley. He also produced the Méliès d’Argent-winning comedy debut of Boris Rodriguez’s Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal and Endre Hules’ The Maiden Danced which was presented in 20 countries and over 30 international film festivals, and was considered as Hungary’s nomination for the Best Foreign Language Oscar® at the 85th Academy Awards. The film was shot by Academy Award-winning cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond. Michael is an alumnus of ACE, the Producers Lab and the International Financing Forum at TIFF; the inaugural year of Trans-Atlantic Partners; Strategic Partners; IFP in New York; as well as the International Co Production Market at Berlin. In his early career, Michael worked in the UK with one of Europe’s top script-development agencies, Arista Development and was mentored by BAFTA and Peabody-winning producer Leslee Udwin.
EVA LEWUCHA Eva has over a decade of experience in consultancy, sales and film production. As an associate producer, Eva recently completed production on György Pálfi’s screen adaptation of Stanislav Lem’s classic sci-fi novelHis Master’s Voice (set for release in 2017). Eva served as development executive on Carol Morley’s The Falling, winner of the 2016 London Critics Circle Film Awards. Prior to moving into production, Eva worked as a consultant with Initialize Films, assisting producers from the UK, New Zealand, Canada and Australia in entering key international film markets such as Cannes and Berlin, and liaised with financiers, co-producers, sales agents and distributors. As a researcher and sales executive at publishing company The Location Guide, Eva assisted with the building of relationships with film commissions, production service companies and filming locations around the world. She’s a graduate of Krzysztof Kieslowski Faculty of Radio and Television at University of Silesia. Eva is fluent in English and Polish.
OLIVER STAPLETON – DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY Oliver Stapleton’s numerous film credits includeDon’t Be Afraid of the Dark, The Proposal, The Waterhorse, Buffalo Soldiers, One Fine Day, Kansas City, Restoration, Earth Girls Are Easy and Absolute Beginners. He has worked extensively with directors Lasse Hallstrom and Stephen Frears. He was the Director of Photography on Hallstrom’s filmsThe Hoax, Casanova, An Unfinished Life, The Shipping News and The Cider House Rules. For Frears, he shot The Hi-Lo Country, The Van, The Snapper, Accidental Hero, The Grifters, Sammie & Rosie Get Laid, Prick Up Your Ears and My Beautiful Laundrette. More recently, he has worked on Anne Fletcher’s The Guilt Trip and Hot Pursuit, Michael Hoffman’s The Best of Me and Taylor Hackford’s The Comedian. A FILM BY CRISPIN WOOD MOVING PICTURES
PRODUCERS MICHAEL A. DOBBIN AND EVA LEWUCHA
CONTACT [email protected] Peardrop Productions Ltd. Budget Title : Moving Picture Script Dated : 21 February, 2016 Producer : Michael A. Dobbin Budget Draft Dated : 2 November 2017 Associate Producer: Eva Lewucha Production # : Director : Crispin Wood Start Date : Monday, 1st October 2018 Location : Wales, UK Finish Date : Monday, 19th November 2018 Prepared By : M. Dobbin Total Days : 36 Post Weeks : 20 Holidays : Travel Days : Acct# Category Description Page Total 0100 STORY RIGHTS/ACQUISITIONS 1 52,500 0200 SCENARIO 1 3,500 0300 DEVELOPMENT COSTS 1 19,350 0400 PRODUCER 1 289,392 0500 DIRECTOR 2 96,952 0600 STARS 3 324,200 Total Above-The-Line 785,894 1000 CAST 4 152,560 1100 EXTRAS 6 81,523 1200 PRODUCTION OFFICE 7 272,189 1300 ART DEPARTMENT 10 47,250 1400 CONSTRUCTION 11 138,390 1500 SET DRESSING 12 106,220 1600 PROPS 12 106,390 1700 SPECIAL EFFECTS 14 57,164 1800 ANIMAL WRANGLING 14 8,756 1900 WARDROBE 15 97,590 2000 MAKEUP/HAIR 16 59,000 2100 STUDIO / BACKLOT 17 91,960 2200 CAMERA 17 143,522 2300 ELECTRICAL 19 120,184 2400 GRIP 20 83,820 2500 PRODUCTION SOUND 21 40,105 2600 TRANSPORTATION 21 92,761 3100 SITE EXPENSES 23 119,980 3200 UNIT EXPENSES 24 121,666 3300 TRAVEL & LIVING EXPENSES 25 202,492 5100 PRODUCTION LABORATORY 25 12,250 Total Below-The-Line Production 2,155,772 6000 EDITORIAL 26 101,970 6400 POST PRODUCTION LABORATORY 27 22,500 6500 FILM POST PRODUCTION SOUND 27 13,320 6600 MUSIC 28 63,400 6700 TITLES/VFX/STOCK FOOTAGE 28 80,000 Total Below-The-Line Post 281,190
Peardrop Productions Ltd. Acct# Category Description Page Total 7000 UNIT PUBLICITY 29 22,500 7100 GENERAL EXPENSES 29 67,400 7200 INDIRECT COSTS 29 200,000 Total Below-The-Line Other 289,900 8000 CONTINGENCY (7.5%) 30 185,000 8100 COMPLETION GUARANTEE (2.0%) 30 70,000 Total Below-The-Line Contingencies 255,000 Total Completion Costs 0 Total Above-The-Line 785,894 Total Below-The-Line 2,981,862 Total Above and Below-The-Line 3,767,756 Total Fringes 127,711 Grand Total 3,895,467
PROJECT COVERAGE FORM
TITLE: Moving Pctures AUTHOR: Crispin Wood SUB TO: Premiere Picture SUB BY: Michael Dobbin FORM: Screenplay LENGTH: Approx 114 mins BASED ON: True events LANGUAGE/S: English BUDGET: £3.5m GENRE: Comedy LOCATION: North Wales and London PERIOD: 1939 & two scenes present day READER: Matthew Hirons DATE: 17/11/17
ELEMENTS:
PRODUCERS: Michael Dobbin
DIRECTOR: Crispin Wood
CAST: Timothy Spall, Juliet Stevenson, Iwan Rheon (all confirmed), and Jim Broadbent (approached)
LOGLINE: 1939 – With war looming, the entire collection of the National Gallery is sent to North Wales to be hidden in a mine, but a young man’s obsession with a Rembrandt painting and a storm leads to the villagers taking the paintings to their homes.
COMMENT SUMMARY: Quintessentially British, and all the better for it, the commercial potential for this film is clear, tapping into the same tone, British wit, and light-hearted humour and drama as the likes of this year’s very successful Their Finest as well as the likes of Pride and Waking Ned. Likeable characters, strong morals, and the fact that it’s based on a true story, as well as the talent of the cast already attached, means this could be a real winner, even if the film itself isn’t grounbreaking.
Excellent (4) Good (3) Fair (2) Poor (1) PREMISE x STORYLINE x CHARACTERISATION x DIALOGUE x STRUCTURE x PACE x ORIGINALITY x AUDIENCE APPEAL x TOTAL 4 18 2
OVERALL SCORE: 24/32 = 75 %
CHARACTERS: JOSEPH (24) – A simple-minded young miner who develops an obsession for a Rembrandt painting and a passion for art. Harbours a desire to lose his virginity.
THE VICAR – Kind, cares for the villagers, but despite his clear sense of right and wrong he has the habit of giving into his own temptations, especially regarding alcohol. MRS. ROBERTS (50s) – The closest thing the film has to an antagonist – self-righteous, embracing the negative aspects of religion, close-minded towards the art, and controlling.
PREMISE: A village with a seemingly closed mind shows that everyone can appreciate art and culture to the benefit of their own lives.
SYNOPSIS: Based on true events. Present day – an old man, JOSEPH, visits Rembrandt’s painting ‘Woman Bathing in a Stream’ in the National Gallery. He claims he once owned it. 1939. WWII has not yet begun. RAWLINS of the National Gallery travels to North Wales by train. He inspects a mine that Joseph (24) works in. He decides it should be closed and the National Gallery begins the painstaking task of secretly moving all of its paintings to the safety of the mine. Meanwhile the villagers are angry and confused as to why their mine is being closed down.
Joseph, along with friends EVANS and ROBERTS, and THE VICAR, sneak into the mine using an abandoned shaft to see what’s going on. They find the Rembrandt, and influenced by alcohol, steal it. Joseph develops an obsession for it, but The Vicar demands he take it back. When he returns to the mine he sees they forgot to close the hatch into the mine and the previous night’s storm has flooded it. With the paintings in danger of being destroyed they take them all out and distribute them over the village.
Villagers help to dry and rescue the paintings and many of them become inspired by the art, especially the sexually suggestive pieces, much to the horror of the self-righteous MRS. ROBERTS (50s). The Prime Minister announces the war has begun and the final painting arrives at the mine, which is when Rawlins discovers it’s empty. He finds the collection of paintings in the village hall, but inspired by Joseph’s passion for art, and thankful of the villagers for saving the paintings, he doesn’t wish to get them into the trouble.
The villagers help to get the paintings back to the mine once the flood is expelled. The directors of the National Gallery are also thankful for what the villagers have done. Joseph is sad to lose the Rembrandt but realises nothing lasts forever. In the present day it is revealed he visits the painting everyday.
COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS: The story might not be groundbreaking or challenging, but the writer clearly knows his target audience. This is the sort of film that would appeal to the ‘grey coin’ elderly audience that so often makes certain films successful, such as the aforementioned Their Finest, as well as The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and this year’s Hampstead. The fact that this is based on true events during the Second World War will also make it more appealing to this demographic.
Much like those films they have a gentle quality to the story as well as an effective British wit. Moving Pictures features fun characters that the strong cast would likely bring even more life to as well as some nice, light-hearted humour, such as Joseph telling a girl in the National Gallery that Rembrandt was a “sex crazed pervert (page 3), the ‘walk on water’ joke on page 38, and the women of the village mocking Mrs. Roberts on pages 77-79. They also showcase strong, positive morals, and the fact that the story explores some preparations for the Second World War immediately before it is announced, something that hasn’t really been shown in films, is very interesting.
Some characters would benefit from a bit more development, even if it was simply assigning them all with ages and naming a few of the villagers. Joseph sometimes reads as someone younger than 24. He’s innocent to the point that he’s childlike, seemingly not understanding the basic principles of right and wrong, believing that because he wants something he deserves to have it. This might work better if he was a teenager, but for a 24-year-old miner it doesn’t always ring true, especially when he’s crying over the prospect of the painting being taken away on page 104. And with the current welcome climate of sexual harassment being tackled in the film industry, some viewers may find it uncomfortable seeing Joseph repeatedly spy on Mrs. Roberts as she gets dressed – something that would more likely be accepted as adolescent mischief if Joseph was younger.
MOVING PICTURES
By
Crispin Wood
Based on a true story
DRAFT 3 – February 21st, 2016
Writer/Director/Producer: Producer: Crispin Wood Michael A. Dobbin
Address: Address: Blighty Films Limited, Peardrop Productions Ltd, 52, Roxborough Park, 66, Netherwood Road, Harrow on the Hill, London. W14 0BG. Middx. HA1 3AY United Kingdom. Tel: +44 (0)20 8930 8422 Tel: +44 (0)20 3239 7167 Email: [email protected] Email:[email protected]
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1 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON, PRESENT DAY - DAY
An elderly, grey-haired man hobbles through the vast spaces of the National Gallery, slowly and carefully weaving himself between the other more agile visitors.
Passing painting after painting, he seems to aim for a particular piece of work - one that perhaps means more to him than any other.
Stopping and then leaning forward onto his walking stick he takes a close look at one of Rembrandt's finest works, 'Woman Bathing in a Stream', and for a moment it seems to be only him and the painting.
A wry smile comes across his face as he turns and sits to admire the painting further.
A school party of INFANTS is escorted around the gallery and the children sit on the floor in front of the painting as a GUIDE begins to tell the children about the picture.
One of the children, a little girl called CHLOE, sits by the old man, OLD JOSEPH.
GUIDE Now children, can anyone tell me about this painting... anyone?
CHILD It's a lady holding her dress up.
The children giggle.
GUIDE Yes, she's bathing in a river. But who do you think painted the lady?
The old man whispers into the little girls' ear.
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OLD JOSEPH Rembrandt.
CHLOE (Shouting out and holding up her hand) Miss! Miss! Rembrandt.
GUIDE Well done Chloe! Now, does anyone know where Rembrandt was born?
Again the old man whispers into the girl's ear.
CHLOE (Shouting out) Miss! Holland!
GUIDE That's right. Very good, Chloe. And does anyone know when Rembrandt lived?
Again, another whisper.
CHLOE (Shouting out) 1606 to 1669. And he was a sex crazed, pervert.
Chloe, realising what she has said, puts her hand over her mouth. The other children GASP then giggle. The guide, realising, stares at Joseph and shakes her head.
GUIDE Right, come on children. Let's look at another painting.
Chloe jumps off the seat and smiles at the old man.
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CHLOE How do you know so much about Rembrandt?
OLD JOSEPH I don't. But I do know about that painting. You see, once upon a time it belonged to me.
Chloe is quickly pulled away by the guide.
CHLOE But Miss, that's his painting.
GUIDE Don't be foolish Chloe. He's just a silly old man.
As the child is pulled away, Joseph looks towards the painting again and sighs.
CHILD (Out of shot) What's sex crazed pervert, Miss?
Joseph smiles.
MUSIC AND OPENING CREDITS:
We move into the painting which becomes part of a moving montage of other paintings from the National Gallery collection as the main credits appear. Interspersed is stock footage covering the build-up to war.
2 INT: LONDON TRAIN STATION – DAY
Text reads: “Based on true events.”
A train whistle blows loud over the melee of a busy train station, bustling with children being evacuated to safer parts ©Blighty Films Limited
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of the country. In this sea of lost children, frantic parents and organized chaos, RAWLINS, a well-dressed gentleman carrying his umbrella and small case, pushes through. Holding his ticket high to signal a station attendant, he arrives at his first class carriage.
STATION ATTENDANT Chose a difficult day to travel, Sir.
RAWLINS Apparently so. I believe this is first class?
STATION ATTENDANT No first class or any class today, I’m afraid. It’s a free-for-all. First come, first served. Some kind of evacuation drill.
RAWLINS points at his ticket.
RAWLINS But...
STATION ATTENDANT There’s a seat in there, Sir. Suggest you grab it.
The STATION ATTENDANT opens the carriage door where RAWLINS is greeted by seven angelic young faces, wide-eyed and confused.
3 INT: TRAIN CARRIAGE – DAY
As RAWLINS sits the faces of anxious mothers appear at the windows.
MOTHER 1 Don’t forget to clean your teeth.
MOTHER 2 And wash your hands. The nice man will look after you. (Referring to RAWLINS.) ©Blighty Films Limited
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All the children stare at RAWLINS who feels out of his depth.
4 EXT: LONDON STRAIN STATION – DAY
The STATION ATTENDANT blows his whistle and the train begins to move out of the station. Mothers wave as their children wave back, pushing against the carriage windows and squashing Rawlins in the process. The train disappears into the distance.
5 INT: TRAIN CARRIAGE – DAY
The children continue to stare at RAWLINS, who feels extremely uncomfortable. One child begins to sniffle and then cry. Immediately all the other children follow. The cacophony of sound fills the carriage.
6 EXT: COUNTRYSIDE – DAY
The train travels at speed through the countryside. The sound of children crying can still be heard. The train whistle blows.
SOUND: MIX train whistle with mine HOOTER
7 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINES – EVE
Title: North Wales, 1939 9 A HOOTER sounds as a large crowd of dust-covered workers file out of the mine entrance, happy that their shift is complete. Awaiting them at the mine gate, on his bike, is a 24-year-old JOSEPH, a simple-minded, gentle man, who then weaves his way through his village mates and down towards the village itself.
8 EXT. VILLAGE STREET - EVE
Joseph cycles through the village as children are called back ©Blighty Films Limited
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into their homes for dinner. As the bicycle picks up speed he passes the village phone box and village hall outside of which three OLD VILLAGE MEN sit, all shaking their heads.
9 EXT. ROBERTS HOME - EVE
Joseph cycles up to a low stone wall. Getting off his bicycle he eyes the upstairs rear window of a house whose well-kept garden Joseph now steps into.
A light comes on in the room and a half naked woman in her mid- 50's, MRS ROBERTS, is seen through the window. Like a naughty boy, Joseph stands and stares at this wonderful sight as a child-like smile crosses his face. On hearing a choir sing, JOSEPH jumps back on his bike and rides towards the Chapel.
10 INT. CHAPEL - EVE
A Welsh male choir sings to an empty chapel enthusiastically conducted by the VICAR.
As the choir completes its song, the Vicar looks towards two of the singers, EVANS and ROBERTS.
VICAR Well that wasn't so bad was it? If you’d sung any louder they’d have heard you in London.
EVANS Never been there, myself.
ROBERTS Full of people. Hundreds of them!
JOSEPH enters the Chapel and sits at the back.
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VICAR Late again, Joseph. I don’t know what you do between the mine and here but everyone else manages to get here before you. Well, get your polishing done.
JOSEPH starts to polish the wooden pews.
EVANS Can't imagine them in London working in the mine.
ROBERTS Can't imagine them in London working at all. Except the King of course.
EVANS Oh yes, except the King.
VICAR And the Archbishop! Now I'm sure he must work very hard.
ROBERTS What about the Prime Minister?
VICAR Oh now. I would imagine Mr. Chamberlain works very, very hard.
EVANS Not as hard as us, though, vicar.
VICAR Well, you might just be right there. Working in the mine must be very strenuous.
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ROBERTS And very important. Which is why we need a drink more than anyone else.
VICAR Now, Roberts maybe right.
ROBERTS Just to help our throats for singing, you understand.
VICAR We’ll do one more piece, then you can all go.
The choir begin to sing. We mix from evening to morning with the music continuing over.
11 EXT: WELSH VILLAGE - EARLY MORNING
The early morning dawn chorus greets the rising sun as birds welcome in a new day. The fresh water of a nearby stream is the only sound as the sunlight hits the sparkling rooftops. All is still as RAWLINS appears, walking through the ghostly silence of the village. Carrying his small case and umbrella, he looks around himself, lost and out of his comfort zone. In the distance he sees a young man, JOSEPH, riding a bicycle towards him. Wide eyed, the young man stares at RAWLINS with an expression of surprise as he passes and continues into the distance.
Taking a few more tentative steps RAWLINS eyes three OLD VILLAGE MEN in the distance sat on a bench who stare back at him in a quizzical manner. Feeling a little perturbed, RAWLINS continues his walk but stops suddenly when the sound of a loud hooter is heard. As if from nowhere, the streets start to fill with the local village men all heading in one direction – up the hill towards the mine. RAWLINS, still stationary but surrounded by the movement of so many, becomes acutely aware of the looks he receives and as quickly as the crowd appeared, it disappears leaving Rawlins standing again in silence. He decides to head in ©Blighty Films Limited
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the same direction towards the mine, tipping his hat towards the three old villages on the bench. He heads up a hill through a field of sheep.
12 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINES - DAY
Miners walk towards the opening of the mine as horse-drawn carts pull newly-mined slate across the grounds. Men chisel at large blocks of slate, splitting them in two with brute force and accuracy.
Watching this activity from the mine gates is Rawlins. He stands motionless, scared to move, surrounded by a large flock of bleating sheep.
Unsure of what to do he waits for the MINE BOSS who approaches through the busy and noisy surroundings.
BOSS Hello. Are you the gentleman from London?
RAWLINS Yes.
BOSS (Pulling a letter from his pocket) Welcome to Wales. I got your communication. We don't get letters from London very often. Lovely paper.
The Boss proudly looks at the letter as Rawlins looks at the sheep surrounding him.
BOSS (cont’d) It doesn’t actually say who you are.
RAWLINS No.
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There’s an awkward silence.
BOSS I understand you want to see our mine.
RAWLINS Yes.
BOSS All a bit confusing, isn't it?
RAWLINS How much do you know about what's going to happen here?
BOSS (Looking at the letter) Happen... here? Nothing happens here.
RAWLINS (To himself) Good.
BOSS Well, it's this way. Follow me.
The Boss begins to walk away leaving Rawlins surrounded by sheep. The Boss looks back realising he is not being followed.
BOSS (cont’d) Oh, of course. You won't be used to this, will you?
The Boss waves his arms at the sheep which dutifully move. Rawlins steps away from the flock.
BOSS (cont’d) What would we do without our woolly friends?
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RAWLINS Quite.
13 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
In the dim lamplight miners DRILL at the walls of a large underground clearing. Roberts and Evans, covered in grime, drill as their Boss walks past accompanied by Rawlins who is totally inadequately dressed for the environment - he sticks out like a sore thumb.
Rawlins pulls out a thermometer and holds it up in front of his face. He then taps the wall of the mine with his umbrella. The Boss watches, shaking his head in confusion.
RAWLINS Hmmnn!!
Rawlins STAMPS his foot to test the floor.
RAWLINS (Cont’d) Hmmnn!!
The Boss follows Rawlins around the mine as Roberts and Evans look on inquisitively, unable to hear because of the drills.
RAWLINS (cont’d) Hmmnn... You'll need to close everything down, of course.
BOSS (Looking at his letter again) Close!?
RAWLINS Yes. Close the mine.
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BOSS (Startled) Close the mine!!?
RAWLINS Keep everyone away until you hear differently.
BOSS (Very startled) But we never close the mine!!
RAWLINS (Not listening) In particular this area.
BOSS Only at Christmas do we close the mine. But we're open again by Boxing Day.
RAWLINS And we'll need all this equipment moved out.
BOSS Moved out!?
The Boss stands motionless in shock as Rawlins continues to prod the mine with his umbrella.
14 EXT. LONDON TRAIN DEPOT - DAY
St. Paul’s Cathedral stands proud in the distance as wooden crates of all sizes are carefully, yet hurriedly, transferred to train carriages. Overseeing what seems to be a chaotic operation are CLARK and MISS HUGHES. They both look pensive as crates are pushed around them by an army of train workers.
©Blighty Films Limited
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CLARK We should have sent everything to Canada when we had the chance!
MISS HUGHES I do hope the Government knows what it’s doing.
CLARK ‘Bury them deep in the ground’ were his exact words.
MISS HUGHES But they must be made aware of the dangers. There could be irreparable damage.
CLARK Needless to say everything must be undertaken with maximum security and in complete secrecy. Any leak could put the entire operation in jeopardy....
A disgruntled, overweight, member of the railway staff approaches and interrupts the conversation.
RAILWAY MAN It won’t fit.
CLARK I beg your pardon
RAILWAY MAN (Pushing the point) It won’t fit.
MISS HUGHES What won’t fit?
RAILWAY MAN That!
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The railway man points at an enormous oblong shape covered with a tarpaulin that still sits beside the train.
CLARK But it must fit!
RAILWAY MAN It won’t fit. It’s too big!
CLARK But everything must travel together.
RAILWAY MAN (Reiterating) I told you, it won’t fit! I’ve transported everything from elephants to tanks on this train and I’m telling you, it won’t fit. That monstrosity will hit the first bridge we go under. It won’t fit!
CLARK So what do we do?
RAILWAY MAN That’s your problem, pal, but it’s not going on my train, I can tell you that for nothing.
The large railway man waddles away, proud that he’s asserted his authority.
CLARK You better send word that there’ll be a second phase sent out separately. I can’t think how, though.
MISS HUGHES Yes.
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CLARK So now we entrust everything to the railway company.
15 EXT. VILLAGE STREET - EVE
Roberts and Evans walk towards the village after a hard day’s work.
ROBERTS Who do you think that man was?
EVANS Don’t know, but I bet he's from London. Nobody around here wears a suit like that. Boss didn't look too pleased.
ROBERTS Boss never looks pleased. Come on! Time for a pint. Hello, hello.
Two scantily dressed teenage girls, NANCY and SUSAN, walk towards the boys.
SUSAN Hello boys. Been working hard, I hope. Making your muscles good and firm.
NANCY Might see you down the pub later for a drink.
Both girls giggle as they walk past the boys.
ROBERTS Cor, what I could do to that Nancy Jones is nobody's business.
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16 EXT. ROBERTS HOME - EVE
BANGING on a window can be heard as MRS ROBERTS, his mother, spots Roberts and Evans passing by. She opens the window and her stern face appears.
MRS ROBERTS You'll not be going to the pub tonight. There's curtain rails to be put up and I'm not waiting any longer. So get yourself in here.
EVANS Hello, Mrs Roberts.
Mrs Roberts ignores Evans as her face withdraws into the house without answering.
ROBERTS Well, that's the end of that then. There's curtain rails to be put up.
17 INT. ROBERTS HOME - EVE
The cramped interior of the Roberts household mixes kitchen with living room. Mrs Roberts is hand-washing some clothes in steaming water and her husband, MR ROBERTS, sits in a wheelchair WHEEZING as he breathes - a man obviously not well. Roberts enters.
MRS ROBERTS Going to the pub every night talking nonsense while I've got to work all day keeping this house going. Don't know what you're playing at. It isn't as if there's any nice girls about for you to marry and give us a bit of space.
ROBERTS I might have succeeded if...
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MRS ROBERTS All day looking after your father. No use to anyone now. Too many years underground!
ROBERTS Hello Dad.
Mr Roberts just nods, too short of breath to answer.
MRS ROBERTS Which is why it's your job to put up the curtain rails. I feel like I'm exposing myself to everyone in the village.
ROBERTS I'm worn out mum.
MRS ROBERTS (Softening) You weren't so worn out to go to the pub...Oohh, go and have a wash. I'll have your meal ready in a minute.
18 EXT: COUNTRY TRAIN STATION – EVE
A rotund station master wanders alone down his quiet train platform listening to the evening birdsong. Looking at his watch he hears his phone ring and walks into his office. After a moment he runs out towards the track side and pulls a signals lever. Moments later a mighty steam train thunders past, almost blowing the train masters hat off. As the train disappears into the distance, the serenity of the station returns and the station master scratches his head wondering what had just happened.
19 EXT. WELSH VILLAGE - MORNING
The sun rises over the valleys as the village awakens. Front doors open along the streets and the miners, bidding their
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farewells, set off towards work each carrying their lunch and greeting each other as they meet.
Roberts exits home and walks up the hill joined by Evans.
EVANS So how's the curtain rail?
ROBERTS Still on the floor. Got out of it for one more day.
EVANS That'll please Joseph.
ROBERTS looks at EVANS confused.
EVANS (cont’d) Well, he's a virgin, isn't he? Needs something to get him excited.
Again, ROBERTS looks quizzically at EVANS.
EVANS(cont’d) Hello. Something's up.
20 EXT. MINE GATES - DAY
The Boss stands behind the metal gates of the mine looking worried as the crowd of workers approach.
Roberts and Evans join the crowd. They all wonder what is happening.
WORKER 1 What's up boss? Have you lost the keys?
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WORKER 4 Why didn’t the hooter sound? We rely on that.
WORKER 2 Come on. There's work to be done.
WORKER 3 Money to be made!
WORKER 4 It'll be tea time soon!!
The crowd of workers laugh.
BOSS (Trying to quiet the crowd) Look, will you shush! The mine... is closed.
A deafening hush falls over the crowd.
WORKER 1 What?!
BOSS The mine is closed!!
WORKER 2 (Angry) Closed. What do you mean closed?
EVANS Bloody hell.
ROBERTS (Looking at Evans) What's Joseph being a virgin got to do with my curtain rails?
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EVANS Sssshhhhh!
WORKER 3 (Angry) I've worked here man and boy. My grandad, great-grandad and great-great- grandad worked here. The mine never closes.
BOSS (Again trying to quieten the crowd) Listen... I know as much as you do. All I can say is that it's something important. Something secret.
WORKER 3 What's more important than slate?!
WORKER 4 (Shouting) We don't keep secrets.
WORKER 1 What's the secret?
BOSS I don't know. That's why it's a secret. All I know is this gentleman came from London...
WORKERS (Interrupting) London? What do they know about slate mines?
BOSS (Frustrated) ...came from London and said we had to close.
ROBERTS (To Evans) Has Joseph been peeping into my mum's bedroom?
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EVANS The mine's been closed! Don’t you think that’s more important?
WORKER 1 When do we get paid?
WORKER 2 We've got mouths to feed, you know?
WORKER 1 Where do we go?
WORKER 3 What do we do?
BOSS Everything will be sorted out when I know more. So just go home and don't worry! You’re still on full pay so treat it as a holiday.
EVANS What do you mean, ‘still on full pay?’ Does that mean we won’t be soon?
BOSS Everything will be fine. Now go home.
The Boss walks away leaving the gates locked.
The assembled crowd slowly disperses, murmuring their disapproval, leaving Evans and Roberts at the gate.
Joseph passes on his bike.
EVANS What are we supposed to do now?
Roberts watches Joseph as he rides past them.
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ROBERTS Hey, Joseph! Have you been watching my mother undress?
JOSEPH No, I haven't... I haven't.
Joseph quickly cycles away.
EVANS Well, you've got time and reason to sort out your curtain rail now.
ROBERTS I wouldn't mind, but we haven't got any curtains.
21 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The Boss, shaking his head and wondering what is going on, approaches Rawlins who looks at his clipboard.
BOSS (To himself) All very confusing... very confusing.
RAWLINS First delivery is expected tonight.
BOSS (Perplexed) Tonight... Delivery? Delivery of what?
RAWLINS So we'll need someone to open the gates on arrival.
BOSS Confusing... All very confusing. The workforce were not happy.
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RAWLINS (Ignoring him) And the steel door will be fixed in due course.
BOSS Steel door?! What on earth do you want a steel door for?
RAWLINS And my cottage is quite adequate.
BOSS Mrs Jones only cleaned it yesterday - new curtains and everything.
RAWLINS Quite adequate, although I couldn’t find the telephone.
BOSS We don’t have a telephone. Well not one up here, anyway.
RAWLINS No telephone.
BOSS No. We use the one in the village.
RAWLINS Hmmm.
Rawlins begins to walk towards his little cottage within the grounds when a small military aircraft flies low over the village, almost level with the mine entrance. Rawlins watches with interest as it slowly disappears into the distance. Just within earshot, anti-aircraft fire can be heard along with puffs of smoke exploding around the aircraft. Rawlins looks to the Boss.
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BOSS Oh, they’re just training. Seems to be more and more frequent these days. All very confusing.
The Boss takes out the letter from London and looks at it again.
Rawlins continues to his little cottage only yards away from the mine entrance. In the distance a choir can be heard singing.
22 INT: VILLAGE HALL – DAY
The male choir sing harmoniously as the Vicar conducts with gusto. INTERCUT with following train scenes.
23 EXT. COUNTRYSIDE RAILWAY LINE – EVE
The train carrying the vast array of crates travels at speed through the countryside.
24 INT. SIGNAL BOX – EVE
A signalman urgently pulls several large levers. Through the windows of his signal box the train passes, filling the surroundings with steam.
25 INT: TRAIN CARRIAGE – EVE
Two GALLERY WARDENS sit amongst crates as they play cards.
GALLERY WARDEN Snap!
Through an open slit in one of the crates we see a pair of eyes looking out.
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26 EXT. COUNTRYSIDE RAILWAY LINE - EVE
Green lights show ahead along the whole route as the train powers along the line.
27 EXT. WELSH RAILWAY STATION – EVE
Under moonlight, a convoy of lorries pulls up outside a darkened train station. RAWLINS looks at his watch as the distant sound of an approaching train can be heard. Steam is seen and the train arrives. Looking through the slits in their crates the eyes of those painted look out into their new world as they are loaded onto the convoy. RAWLINS acknowledges the two GALLERY WARDENS as they pass him, clipboard in hand. Quietly, and into the darkness, the lorries start to move slowly through the village and towards the mine.
Observing the whole procedure from behind a fence is JOSEPH. Sitting on his bike he watches the lorries pass by, one by one. He cycles behind the convoy and follows its course until he passes MRS ROBERTS garden. Suddenly stopping and seeing a bedroom light on, JOSEPH is torn between following the convoy or watching MRS ROBERTS. He chooses MRS ROBERTS. Having seen the lorries go by the three OLD VILLAGERS watch Joseph from their favourite bench.
OLD VILLAGER 1 You know what’s going on there, don't you?
OLD VILLAGER 2 Aye
OLD VILLAGER 3 He's been doing it for years.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Mind you, she does look good in that pushed-up corset.
They all nod in agreement.
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28 EXT. ROBERTS HOME - EVE
Joseph stands in the garden, lit only by the light from an upstairs window and waits in anticipation of a beautiful sight.
29 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
Along rail tracks meant for transporting slate, large trailers carrying the crates are pushed slowly through the dimly lit mine towards a large underground clearing. Large, cumbersome lights are switched on, illuminating the vastness of the cavern as one by one the crates are carefully unloaded and placed in their new, eerie home.
Watching the event is the Boss, who scratches his head in confusion, and Rawlins, who holds up a thermometer.
RAWLINS Fifty six degrees Fahrenheit. It is absolutely vital that we keep the right temperature.
BOSS So what's in these boxes, then?
RAWLINS (Ignoring the Boss) That's the wonderful thing about places like this. Everything tends to stay constant. The Prime Minister will be pleased everything has gone to plan.
BOSS (Shocked) The... Prime Minister!?
RAWLINS The second phase arrives in a day or two. Needed to travel separately, you see.
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BOSS Second phase?
RAWLINS (To himself) The Van Dyck.
BOSS (Confused) The Prime Minister!?
30 EXT: COUNTRYSIDE – EVE
Along a quiet country road drives a truck pulling a trailer. On the trailer is a large oblong shaped load covered with a tarpaulin. The truck moves slowly.
31 INT: LORRY CAB – EVE
JACK, a young eager man, drives the truck as his older colleague, GEORGE, who’s ‘seen it all before’, moans about their predicament.
GEORGE I don't know why we had to end up with the biggest one. Everything else has left and we're expected to look after 'old headless Charlie' on our own. It's not right!
JACK Nice drive into the country, George, that’s what I've been told.
GEORGE Several hundred miles is what I've been told. And who takes responsibility if anything happens?
JACK Nothing's going to happen.
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GEORGE We don't even know where we're going.
JACK George, you're one of the oldest and most respected employees. We should be proud that they asked us to do this important job.
GEORGE Aye...well. And what about my back? It'll never be the same after this.
32 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
The blinding light of an acetylene torch puts the finishing touches to a vast metal door at the entrance. As the sparks fly Rawlins and two Wardens watch as the convoy drives away and disappears into the distance. Rawlins turns and enters the mine.
33 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
The crates of paintings sit in their new silent home. Only the haunting movement of air breaks the stillness as Rawlins reviews his daunting responsibility. Checking a temperature gauge, he leaves.
34 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINES - EVE
The large steel doors are closed with a distinctive THUD. Rawlins looks pensive as the two Wardens set up a trestle table. They begin to play cards.
WARDEN 1 Snap!
Again, an aircraft flies low over the village and into the distance. Rawlins sighs and sets off towards the village with a confident stride.
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35 EXT: VILLAGE STREET – EVE
The three old villagers, still sat on their favourite bench, react as the aircraft flies over them. OLD VILLAGER 3 lifts binoculars to his eyes to watch the aircraft travel into the distance. Anti-aircraft fire is heard again.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Funny goings-on.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Aye. Funny goings-on.
OLD VILLAGER 3 They’ve got balloons up now!
Two large barrage balloons, tethered to the ground, float in the sky where the gunfire is heard.
The three OLD VILLAGERS watch inquisitively as Rawlins approaches the telephone box.
OLD VILLAGER 1 It’s that man, again.
Rawlins acknowledges them with a tip of his hat. Entering the box we hear mumbling as Rawlins struggles with the phone. He exits the box and tentatively walks over to the three men.
RAWLINS Is the telephone not working?
OLD VILLAGER 3 It’s Tuesday.
RAWLINS Oh.
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RAWLINS Is that normal?
OLD VILLAGER 3 It’s Tuesday.
RAWLINS Right.
Rawlins walks back towards the mine, passing the village pub on the way. Out of the window of the pub stares Joseph.
36 INT. VILLAGE PUB - EVE
The members of the male choir, including Evans, Roberts, Joseph and Owen the landlord have had a few drinks too many.
Joseph moves from the window and sits away from the others as Roberts gives him a knowing look.
ROBERTS How long has he been watching my mum?
EVANS Oh, leave him be.
OWEN Virginity is a very honourable thing to have.
ROBERTS Not at his age, it isn't.
The Vicar pokes his head around the door and sheepishly enters the pub.
OWEN Hello Vicar. Would you like a drink?
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VICAR Oh, I really shouldn't.
OWEN A whisky it is, then.
VICAR Well, just the one wouldn't break the rules, now would it?
OWEN A double it is.
The Vicar sits in a corner where he can't be seen by passers-by.
ROBERTS You haven't got any spare curtains in the chapel, have you Vicar?
VICAR Curtains?
EVANS What I want to know is what's going on. And who is that man?
OWEN Maybe we're not meant to know. These are troubling times so I'm all for it - whatever and whoever it is.
EVANS We'll probably end up in some coalmine. Nothing like slate mining.
ROBERTS As long as we don't end up doing what the miners did in the last war. Digging tunnels isn't what I do!
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OWEN There's not going to be any war.
ROBERTS How can you be so sure?
OWEN Because that nice Mr Chamberlain said so, that's how.
EVANS All seems a bit odd, though. One minute we're minding our own business then the next thing the mine is closed, the boss has gone all secretive and strangers are wandering our streets.
ROBERTS Who cares what’s going on. We’re getting paid, aren’t we?
EVANS Yes, but for how long?
OWEN As far as I'm concerned if Mr Chamberlain says there's not going to be a war then there's not going to be a war! They're obviously borrowing the mine... in case something happens... for something important.
EVANS Have you not seen what’s going on out there? All of us with no work and no idea what’s going on. Aircraft flying over us every other minute and being bombarded with gunfire.
OWEN They’ve been doing that for ages. They’ve got to train somewhere.
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EVANS Their training has been getting a lot more frequent, or hadn’t you noticed!
ROBERTS Maybe, he’s a spy.
EVANS Oh yes. That would explain all the secrecy.
OWEN I thought you said he was from London.
ROBERTS That’s what the boss said. Maybe he’s a spy as well. Never did like him.
OWEN What on earth is there to spy on around here except for a few sheep and piles of slate.
EVANS Maybe there’s going to be an invasion.
ROBERTS Maybe the Royal Family are moving into the mine. They need to be safe in case of invasion.
OWEN There’s not going to be any invasion!!
EVANS More likely the gold from the Bank of England.
Owen fills everyone's glasses as the conversation gets interesting.
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JOSEPH Maybe they're building a prison where all the bad people will be locked up.
OWEN I don't like the sound of that, Joseph.
ROBERTS And we all know what you'd be locked up for.
JOSEPH And that man is in charge of all the keys!
ROBERTS He doesn’t look like a prison warden.
JOSEPH Or maybe he’s in charge of all the wooden crates that arrived.
EVANS What wooden crates?
Joseph goes quiet.
EVANS (cont’d) Joseph! What wooden crates?
VICAR Joseph, if you know something you must tell.
JOSEPH I didn’t do anything wrong. I just watched.
VICAR Nobody said you did anything wrong. What wooden crates, Joseph?
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JOSEPH The crates that man was looking at. At the train station. Lots of them, there were.
ROBERTS Where did they go? Into the mine?
JOSEPH (Sheepishly) I don’t know. I decided to do something else, instead.
VICAR Why didn’t you say something?
EVANS Maybe we should find out for ourselves.
ROBERTS It is our mine.
OWEN They’ve put up a great big steel door! You’ll never get through that and if you ask me you shouldn’t try!
EVANS (Annoyed) We have a right to know. Whatever’s been put in the mine has put us all out of work, so I for one want to know what it is!
JOSEPH You could use the old shaft. Still got a winch, it has. Bet they haven't thought of blocking that.
They all look at each other and smile.
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EVANS Bet they don’t even know it’s there.
ROBERTS I remember my dad telling me about the old mine shaft. He used to hide in there as a kid. Have a sly cigarette or take a girl up there.
OWEN Well, you can count me out. Rules are rules, that's what I say.
EVANS What do you think Vicar?
VICAR Well, it is your mine and everyone is understandably worried about the workforce. But the Church couldn't possible get involved...
ROBERTS ...but you’ll come along anyway.
VICAR Oh... Well. Let's have another drink and find out what's going on.
37 EXT. VILLAGE HILL - EVE
Under the moonlight, and a little inebriated, Evans, Roberts, Joseph and the Vicar stagger up a muddy hill overlooking the mine. The Vicar looks worried and shakes his head as the others 'shush' each other.
38 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
A candle burns as the two Wardens still sit at their trestle table playing cards. In the distance the silhouettes of our friends can be seen scaling the hill.
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WARDEN 2 Snap!
39 EXT. OLD MINE SHAFT DOOR - EVE
Joseph, Roberts, Evans and the Vicar stand in front of the rusting metal door of the old mine shaft. With difficulty they manage to prise the door open, enough for them to squeeze into the shaft.
40 INT. MINE SHAFT - EVE
Joseph leads the group into darkness with his torch as they gingerly make their way through a thin, low shaft.
VICAR Oh dear - I'm not sure I should be doing this. I feel water under my feet.
ROBERTS That's normal Vicar.
EVANS We all walk on water here.
41 EXT. OLD MINE SHAFT DOOR – EVE
The old mine shaft door is ajar as a sheep with large horns wanders through the opening.
42 INT. MINE SHAFT – EVE
The four men continue in single file through the shaft and into an opening where there is a large gap in the floor. They all tentatively approach the hole - crawling, then lying down, at the rim. They all look down. Fifty feet below them sit the vast array of wooden crates.
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JOSEPH (Whispering) It's the wooden boxes.
ROBERTS Not quite the Royal Family is it.
EVANS Maybe they are full of gold.
VICAR I really don't think we should be here. People might think we're trying to steal things.
ROBERTS Thou shalt not steal, Vicar - right?
VICAR Precisely.
ROBERTS (Jokingly) How about, Thou shalt not have a quick look in the boxes to find out what's going on?
VICAR No, I haven't heard of that one.
EVANS Right then! Vicar, let's get the winch.
VICAR Oh dear.
ROBERTS And I’ll attach Joseph to the hook.
JOSEPH What!?
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43 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
RAWLINS sits with his back towards the crates. He makes notes as he checks a temperature monitor. From above appears JOSEPH, standing on a large metal hook and holding onto a cable for dear life. Slowly he descends towards the crates.
44 INT. MINE SHAFT - EVE
The Vicar operates a turning device on the winch as the others look down into the cave.
VICAR I really don't think this is a good idea.
EVANS Ssshhh!!
VICAR Oh dear.
45 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
As Joseph lowers further, the eyes of famous portraits peer through slits in their crates awaiting their new fate. Suddenly RAWLINS stands and walks towards the crates with his clipboard.
JOSEPH tries to look up to EVANS and ROBERTS and mouths the words. ‘STOP’ and ‘MAN.’
46 INT. MINE SHAFT - EVE
Evans and Roberts look down onto the crates and see Joseph gesturing with his arms to stop the winch. They then see Rawlins.
ROBERTS (Whispering) Stop, Vicar. Stop!
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The Vicar stops turning the winch device, desperately trying to hold Joseph’s weight.
47 INT: MANOD SLATE MINE – EVE
As Rawlins checks some crates against his paperwork, Joseph dangles above trying to keep as quiet as possible. A worrying amount of time passes, but eventually Rawlins, now satisfied with his days’ work, walks away through a passage and out of sight. The sound of the large steel door is heard to close.
48 INT: MINE SHAFT – EVE
Beads of sweat appear on the Vicars forehead as he struggles with the winch.
EVANS Ok vicar, keep going, keep going...
Suddenly the sound of a sheep bleating loudly echoes around the mine.
JOSEPH Ssssshhhhhh!!
ROBERTS What’s that?
VICAR It’s a ram! And it’s got big horns! And it’s staring at me!
EVANS How did that get in here?
ROBERTS (Giggling) Maybe Joseph has found his first girlfriend.
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JOSEPH Shut up.
Again the sheep bleats loudly and stares at the Vicar holding onto the winch. The Vicar stares back almost knowing what’s about to happen.
JOSEPH What’s happening?
Suddenly the sheep moves swiftly towards the Vicar with his horns pushed forward. In a fright, the Vicar lets go of the winch.
The cable releases!
49 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
Joseph suddenly begins to drop like a stone and lands with an enormous CRASH on top of a crate, breaking it into several pieces. The noise ECHOES around the cave. Everything falls silent – waiting to see if anyone heard. From above we hear Evans.
EVANS Joseph. Are you all right?
VICAR Oh dear. The poor boy. It’s all my fault.
JOSEPH slowly lifts himself from the crumpled crate, wooden splinters surrounding him. Revealing the content of the crate, now exposed for all to see, his face lightens up and he smiles up to his friends.
JOSEPH (Excited) It’s a woman!!
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Rembrandt’s 'Woman Bathing in a Stream' looks out towards Joseph and an instant connection is made. The echo of a sheep bleating is heard.
50 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY FOYER – EVE
The floor mosaic of ‘The Awakening of the Muses’ fills the screen as Clark and Miss Hughes walk across it.
51 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY MAIN HALL – EVE
One of the National Gallery’s vast display rooms sits empty. Faded areas on the walls show where paintings used to hang along with empty frames and crates strewn around the room. Clark and Miss Hughes wander in and stop as they survey the vacant space. Clark looks forlornly at the blank walls.
CLARK (Almost whispering to himself) I never thought I'd see the day.
MISS HUGHES So... empty. Almost drained of warmth.
CLARK I do hope we have done the right thing.
MISS HUGHES (Understanding) We didn’t have a choice, Mr Clark. We had conferred long and hard to reach this serious conclusion. Europe is in a precarious position. Britain is therefore in the same precarious and dangerous position. War with Germany seems possible.
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CLARK Many think war is inevitable. I hope and pray this may not be so. But we cannot be complacent. If war comes our cities, indeed all the country, will be vulnerable to attack - even invasion. Our national treasures will therefore be under the greatest threat, not only from damage or complete annihilation but from an act of confiscation by the greedy hands of those who may seek to conquer. I do not exaggerate the seriousness of the situation. The paintings will return home one day, God willing.
MISS HUGHES They will be safe...won't they?
CLARK They are, as requested, safely buried deep in caves. What more can we do?
52 EXT. VILLAGE - DAWN
The sun rises over the valleys and the village rooftops glisten in the damp as the residents wake to another day. The tranquility is broken by an aircraft flying low over the village followed by the sound of anti-aircraft fire.
53 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - MORNING
The Vicar, Roberts, Evans and Joseph, their clothes soiled, sit in the choir stall staring at Rembrandt's 'Woman Bathing in a Stream' which leans against the altar.
VICAR It can’t stay here.
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ROBERTS (Holding his forehead) I don’t even remember bringing it back.
VICAR Joseph, what were you thinking? Why did you take it? That’s stealing!
JOSEPH I didn’t steal it. I just borrowed it. We broke the crate so it had nowhere to live.
ROBERTS You broke the crate, Joseph, not us!
JOSEPH I cleaned it up! Couldn’t just leave it there or they’d know something was wrong.
EVANS Is this why they’ve closed the mine? For a pile of pictures? Aren’t our jobs more important?
ROBERTS We'll have to get it back there, now.
VICAR It does look very familiar.
JOSEPH She's going to stay with me.
VICAR You said we were only going to look!
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The chapel door opens with a BANG as Mrs Roberts enters pushing Mr Roberts in his wheelchair. She approaches the group at the altar as they quickly stand in front of the picture to hide it.
MRS ROBERTS Hello Vicar.
VICAR Morning, Mrs Roberts. I wasn't expecting you today.
MRS ROBERTS I always do the flowers on Wednesday. What are you lot doing here?
EVANS Choir practice.
MRS ROBERTS On a Wednesday morning? And look at the state of your clothes!! Where were you last night?
ROBERTS I thought the Vicar might have some curtains he could give us.
MRS ROBERTS Curtains?
ROBERTS Hello Dad.
Mr Roberts is trying to see what is hidden behind the boys. He points and wheezes.
MR ROBERTS Woman... Woman!
MRS ROBERTS What are you hiding? Get out of the way.
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The boys move aside to reveal the painting. Mrs Roberts looks shocked. The Vicar shrugs his shoulders. Mr Roberts eyes widen even further.
MRS ROBERTS (cont’d) What on earth... Vicar?
EVANS It's the new altar piece.
ROBERTS It's Jesus... walking on water.
EVANS Dressed as a woman.
They all squirm at this pathetic excuse.
MRS ROBERTS It's filth - that's what it is! And in the chapel!!
VICAR There must have been some terrible mix up.
MRS ROBERTS A terrible mix up, indeed. Exactly what has been going on here?
Mr Roberts starts to laugh. The laugh ECHOES around the chapel.
54 INT. ROBERTS HOME - DAY
Mrs Roberts noisily washes and dries plates at her kitchen sink obviously perturbed by what she has seen.
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MRS ROBERTS Filth - that's all it is. I'll be having strong words with the Vicar, I can tell you.
ROBERTS Oh, Mum - it's only a picture.
MRS ROBERTS And where did it come from, I'd like to know? A new altar piece of Jesus walking on water dressed as a woman. Have you ever heard such a story?
ROBERTS It came from the mine. It's full of it.
MRS ROBERTS The mine is full of filth!? Don’t be ridiculous!
MR ROBERTS Oh... oh... bloody hell!
MRS ROBERTS And look what you've done to your father. He hasn't had such thoughts in years.
ROBERTS It's not my fault.
MRS ROBERTS The mine's supposed to be closed.
ROBERTS We used the old mine shaft. It was easy.
MRS ROBERTS Then it'll be easy for you to put that filth back where it came from.
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ROBERTS You remember the old mine shaft, don’t you Dad? Remember the stories you used to tell me when you sneaked into the mine at night for ...well.
MR ROBERTS smiles and nods happily.
MRS ROBERTS Nothing but a death trap. We all remember that time you lot almost drowned down there in a flood. I hope you closed it after you.
ROBERTS Of course we closed it. It’s all Joseph’s fault, anyway!
MRS ROBERTS Don’t you go blaming Joseph! He’ll just follow whatever you lot say. Poor boy.
MR ROBERTS grabs ROBERTS arm.
MR ROBERTS Close!... Bloody Hell!!... Close!!
ROBERTS Don’t worry, dad. We definitely closed it. We all know how dangerous it can be.
Short of breath, MR ROBERTS gives the thumbs up.
MRS ROBERTS Now look what you've done. We're clean living people in this village and we won't be having any more of this filth. That is one picture I don't want to be seeing again.
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55 INT. VILLAGE PUB - EVE
Members of the male population of the village huddle together and stand agog staring in adulation at their new acquisition - Rembrandt's 'Woman Bathing in a Stream'.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Who is she?
OLD VILLAGER 2 Where did she come from?
EVANS From the mine. That’s why we’re all out of work.
All nod but keep their eyes firmly fixed on the painting.
OLD VILLAGER 3 She's a big girl, isn't she?
OLD VILLAGER 1 Not quite Hedy Lamarr, but she'll do.
JOSEPH She's MY big girl.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Oh. Very nice, Joseph.
JOSEPH Yes.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Never knew you had it in you.
OLD VILLAGER 1 That's how a woman should look. Good and meaty.
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OLD VILLAGER 3 With good, strong thighs.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Reminds me of my wife, twenty years ago.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Reminds me of my wife, thirty years ago.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Funny how you forget, isn't it?
They all nod as they continue to stare at the picture.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Maybe I should be getting back home.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Aye... Maybe I should too.
OLD VILLAGER 3 And me!
The rest of the men begin to nod and all hastily leave the pub. Owen watches them from behind the bar as they leave and checks his watch.
56 EXT. VILLAGE - EVE
Evans and Roberts walk towards the pub as they see the old village men leave. They hear Susan and Nancy SHOUT OUT to them from the village stream...
SUSAN Hello boys! Does this look anything like your picture?
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The two girls stand in the stream and hold up their dresses, mimicking the Rembrandt painting.
ROBERTS Right, that's it.
Roberts and Evans run towards the girls and we hear SPLASHING and LAUGHTER. Joseph's face appears over a wall as he watches.
The bedroom lights throughout the village start to go out, one by one. The darkened sky suddenly lights up in the distance as Joseph watches anti-aircraft fire stream through the blackness, exposing the silhouettes of the newly installed barrage balloons. As it ends Joseph sees a single light which remains glowing from the Chapel.
57 INT: VILLAGE CHAPEL – EVE
The VICAR uses a ladder to reach the top level of an old, disheveled book case. Stretching his arms he manages to grasp a large, leather bound book which he carefully pulls from the shelf. Dust falls onto his shoulder as he lowers the book to read the cover – “Big Book of Art.”
Placing the book on the altar he carefully leafs through the pages, each exhibiting a colour photograph of a well-known painting. Almost knowing what to expect, he arrives at the page he is searching for - Rembrandt's 'Woman Bathing in a Stream'.
The door of the chapel opens as Joseph enters with his painting. He walks up behind the vicar and sees the book.
VICAR I knew I’d seen that picture before.
Joseph’s eyes widen with excitement on seeing the book and a picture of his painting. He lifts his painting to compare and smiles. ©Blighty Films Limited
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VICAR Now listen carefully, Joseph. You can borrow this book if you want but you must promise to look after it.
Joseph nods enthusiastically.
VICAR (cont’d) And promise to return that picture to the mine as soon as possible.
Joseph’s bottom lip begins to tremble.
VICAR (cont’d) Joseph, you know you did a bad thing. So if you want to borrow the book you must return the picture.
Joseph thinks for a moment. Looking from the book to his painting, he agrees with a nod.
58 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - EVE
The single lorry weaves down a winding road through the mist and rain of the imposing Welsh hills. The lorry slowly grinds to a halt, sitting lonely and isolated in the middle of nowhere.
59 INT. LORRY CAB – EVE
Jack and George sit in their cab trying to fathom where they are.
GEORGE I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. It’s getting dark.
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JACK Everything is fine. We just stick to this road. Takes us straight through Wales.
GEORGE Wales. What on earth am I doing in Wales. We just hang paintings for a living. We should never have been left alone.
JACK We’ve had this conversation, George.
GEORGE And these seats are not good for my back. Are you sure we took the right turn?
JACK I don't know.
GEORGE We're for the high jump if we don't get there.
Jack takes out a map and opens it. Running his finger across the map and wiping the windscreen he turns to George...
JACK I think we're on this road.
GEORGE Think!!
Jack climbs out of the lorry.
60 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - EVE
The lorry sits in the vast openness of the Welsh Valleys. Jack looks at the map again as George gets out of the lorry.
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GEORGE You've got us lost, haven't you? Trust us, he said. Don't need security, he said. A nice drive in the country, he said. Everything will be perfectly safe with us, he said!
JACK You worry too much.
GEORGE We're lost in the middle of nowhere. Of course I'm worried!
JACK (Looking up at the cargo) He won't mind. Good old Charlie won't mind.
GEORGE Good old Charlie hasn't got a bad back, has he?
JACK The fresh air will do your back some good. Enjoy the scenery!
Heavy rain suddenly begins to fall.
GEORGE (Sarcastically) Oh... Wonderful!
61 EXT. VILLAGE - DAY
Heavy rain bounces off the rooftops as the early morning mist rises over the village.
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62 INT. BEDROOM OF OLD VILLAGER 1 - DAY
Old villager 1 sits up in bed and lights his pipe. His wife lies beside him with a large smile on her face.
63 INT. KITCHEN OF OLD VILLAGER 3 - DAY
Old villager 3 sits at his breakfast table as a plate is placed before him by his wife who affectionately kisses him on the forehead.
64 INT. BEDROOM OF OLD VILLAGER 2 - DAY
Old villager 2 and his wife are sat up in bed both looking as if in a state of shock.
65 INT. JOSEPH'S BEDROOM - DAY
Joseph lies in his bed reading his new book ‘Big Book of Art.’ His painting lies next to him.
66 INT. KITCHEN, ROBERTS HOME - DAY
Mr Roberts sits in his wheelchair. Arms folded, he looks thoroughly miserable.
67 EXT. ROBERTS HOME - DAY
Mrs Roberts seen through the window lies alone in bed as heavy rain POUNDS against the glass.
68 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
Rawlins checks that the large steel door is locked. Turning, he looks towards the sky as the heavy rain falls.
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69 EXT: OLD MINE SHAFT DOOR – DAY
The old mine shaft door remains closed although a loud banging can be heard from inside. As the rain lashes down the banging gets louder and suddenly the door flies open. The big horned sheep wanders out into the rain.
70 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The crates of paintings sit where they were left in their hauntingly quiet new home. From above, a drop of water falls and splashes on a crate marked 'RENOIR – The Umbrellas'.
71 EXT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
Joseph sits under a tree reading his new book. Eyes wide, he takes in all the information as he looks at a picture of Hans Holbein’s ‘Ambassadors.’
The Vicar stands at the entrance to his chapel and looks towards the darkened sky as the heavy rain LASHES DOWN. Putting his hand out to catch some rain he sees Joseph under the tree.
VICAR (Shouting so to be heard) Joseph! Have you taken that picture back yet? JOSEPH It’s raining!
VICAR Joseph! You made a promise.
JOSEPH (Grabbing the painting) Just for one more day!
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VICAR No Joseph. I want that picture returned today. You don’t want to be called a thief, do you?
The vicar turns and enters the chapel as the choir members file into the building.
72 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
Members of the male choir, including Evans and Roberts, stand talking.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Well, that was quite a night for me.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Me too. Non-stop, it was. Haven't known it for years.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Didn't realise it was possible.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Quite a night.
OLD VILLAGER 3 I'm quite exhausted.
The Vicar joins Evans and Roberts.
VICAR I’ve told Joseph to get that picture back into the mine, and quickly.
ROBERTS I doubt they’d notice, not with the amount of crates in there.
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VICAR Believe me, they will notice.
EVANS We should be emptying the place so we can go back to work!
The Vicar CLAPS his hands to gain people's attention.
VICAR Now everyone. Take your places, please.
73 EXT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
We hear the choir start to sing as the rain becomes heavier, bouncing off the chapel roof and overflowing the gutters. Joseph rides past on his bike with his painting attached to the handlebars.
74 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The two Wardens still sit at their trestle table playing cards. Each opens up an umbrella and continues to play.
WARDEN 1 Snap!
75 EXT. OLD MINE SHAFT ENTRANCE - DAY
A river of dirty water enters the mine shaft.
76 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The silence of the cave is broken by a DELUGE of water falling from the ceiling onto the slate floor. The crates containing the nation's art treasures begin to move and then float. ©Blighty Films Limited
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77 EXT. VILLAGE STREET - DAY
Joseph cycles up the main village street in the heavy rain towards the mine. Mrs Roberts opens her window.
MRS ROBERTS I hope you're going to take that bit of filth back to where it came from. Some sex-crazed pervert painted that!!
Joseph, looking very sad, continues cycling through the heavy rain as Mrs Roberts covers her mouth, realising what she has just said and closes her window.
78 EXT. MINE SHAFT ENTRANCE - DAY
Jumping off his bike, Joseph clambers up the hill through the mud and rain to the old mine shaft entrance. He stops and stares at the open shaft door and the gallons of water POURING into the shaft.
79 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
The members of the choir still stand in their rehearsal position. Joseph stands before them, drenched.
JOSEPH (Shaking his head) It’s not my fault.
EVANS Oh Joseph. What have you done?
JOSEPH But we closed it!
ROBERTS Oh Joseph.
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EVANS What have you done?
JOSEPH (Shaking his head) Wasn’t me!
VICAR Oh dear, oh dear! Telling lies is bad.
JOSEPH (Upset) I’m not!
OLD VILLAGER 1 (Interrupting) These pictures you talk about, are they anything like the one you showed us the other night?
OLD VILLAGER 2 The one with the lady?
OLD VILLAGER 3 Big girl, she was.
VICAR We’re supposed to be taking a picture back, not taking more out!
JOSEPH It’s not a picture, it’s a painting and they're all getting wet.
VICAR It doesn’t matter what they’re called, Joseph. I’m very cross with you.
JOSEPH (Upset) Wasn’t me.
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OLD VILLAGER 1 And you want us to climb up the hill... In this weather?
EVANS Don’t you see? If we get everything out of the mine we can all go back to work.
The choir singers look at each other and mumble between themselves.
OLD VILLAGER 1 And you're sure they're like the one you showed us?
EVANS sighs.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Had a strange effect on our wives, you see.
ROBERTS (Impatiently) Yes.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Well, what are we waiting for?
80 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The dozens of crates are now floating around, knocking into each other, bobbing up and down. Bubbles start to appear as one by one the crates begin to SINK!
The members of the choir scramble around the vast chasm of their mine as Turner's 'Fighting Temeraire' appears out of a lake of water now covering the floor of the cave. More and more paintings appear from their crates as they are winched up to the ceiling. Other paintings are hastily removed from their waterlogged crates by the villagers whose excitement and surprise is evident. ©Blighty Films Limited
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81 EXT. MINE SHAFT ENTRANCE - DAY
It's overcast... and still raining. Joseph hands pictures out of the shaft one by one to a line of men. Rembrandts, Canalettos and Vermeers - all appear out of the mine shaft and disappear down the hill.
JOSEPH Try and keep them dry.
One villager carries out Degas’ ‘Three Dancers in Violet Tutus’. Joseph reacts quickly.
JOSEPH (cont’d) That’s a Degas. It’s only pastel on paper. Keep it dry!!
The villagers walk down the hill carrying their paintings.
VILLAGER 1 Since when did Joseph become such an expert.
VILLAGER 2 Since the vicar gave him a book.
VILLAGER 1 Oh, bloody hell. We won’t hear the last of it.
82 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The two Wardens continue their game of cards. In the background, silhouetted against the dark cloudy sky, the village men clamber down the hillside carrying pictures of varying sizes.
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83 EXT. VILLAGE HALL - EVENING
A long line of villagers, each carrying a painting, walk towards and enter the village hall.
84 INT. VILLAGE HALL - EVENING
As the rain continues to pour down outside, the village men stand silently in front of dozens of pictures stacked against the walls. They stare at a particular picture, 'The Rokeby Venus' - a nude by Velazquez.
Joseph, Evans, and Roberts look at each other.
ROBERTS What do we do now?
EVANS Well, we can't leave them here.
OLD VILLAGER 3 I think I need to get back home again.
OLD VILLAGER 1 What are they all doing in the mine? So many of them!
EVANS Stopping us from working!
ROBERTS Some of them are really wet. We need to get them dried off.
OLD VILLAGER 1 What makes them so important to close the mine? EVANS Exactly!
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VICAR We’ll just have to accept the fact that they are important! It’s ART!!
OLD VILLAGER 1 Since when has art been more important that slate?
JOSEPH They’re very important. They write books about them!
ROBERTS Okay everyone – each of you take a picture home and make sure you keep them in a dry place.
OLD VILLAGER 2 (Pointing at the nude) My wife would kill me if I turned up at home with that.
ROBERTS It's your wives and mothers who'll know how best to dry them.
85 INT. VILLAGE HOME 1 - EVE
As her husband looks on, VILLAGE WOMAN 1 puts Rembrandt's 'Self Portrait' through a mangle.
86 INT. VILLAGE HOME 2 - EVE
VILLAGE WOMAN 2 leans Turner's 'Fighting Temeraire' towards an open fire.
87 INT. VILLAGE HOME 3 – EVE
VILLAGE WOMAN 3 rubs Holbein's 'The Ambassadors' down with a dry flannel.
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88 INT. VILLAGE HOME 4 - EVE
Between bed sheets and a large pair of bloomers, Constable's 'Hay Wain' hangs on a clothes line. It becomes evident that all the surrounding back yards have paintings hanging up to dry.
89 INT. LORRY CAB, WELSH VALLEYS - EVE
Jack and George drive through the Welsh valleys looking very lost. Suddenly Jack puts his foot on the brakes bringing the lorry to a SCREECHING HALT and throwing George against the windscreen. An awful GRINDING sound is heard. Jack and George stare at each other.
GEORGE Bloody hell! What was that?
90 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - EVE
Jack and George quickly climb out of their lorry into the rain and look up. Their precious cargo - the biggest responsibility they have ever been given in their lives - is jammed between the lorry and a small low stone bridge.
GEORGE Blimey
JACK Now what?
GEORGE They should have known about this! It should have been organised better. We'll get the blame for this!
JACK We can't even be sure we're on the right road. When was the last time you saw a road sign?
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Jack gets back into the lorry and starts the engine. He attempts to reverse slowly but the NOISE of the painting rubbing against stone makes George panic.
GEORGE Stop... stop!!
Jack jumps out of the lorry and stares at George. Pulling the tarpaulin up to check for any damage they both see the face of 'Charles the First' looking down at them.
JACK He lost his head once before, you know?
GEORGE I'm not taking responsibility for any damage.
Stepping back from their lorry, Jack and George notice TWO ODD FIGURES approaching from down the road. As they get closer they lower their hoods and look inquisitively at Jack and George... and at their predicament.
JACK I wonder if you can help us.
The two figures look at each other, baffled. They approach Jack and George looking up at the lorry and the bridge.
GEORGE We're trying to get to the Manod caves. Do you know the Manod caves?
WELSHMAN 1 Manod?
GEORGE Yes. The caves! ©Blighty Films Limited
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WELSHMAN 2 (Speaking Welsh to his friend) SUBTITLED: Do you understand what they're saying?
WELSHMAN 1 (Speaking Welsh) SUBTITLED: I don't know.
GEORGE Are you sure we're in the right country?
JACK We have an important cargo which we need to get to the Manod Caves!
WELSHMAN 1 (Not understanding) Important.
JACK Yes. Important cargo. A picture... of a King.
GEORGE (Whispering) Don't tell them! It's supposed to be a secret!
JACK They don't exactly look like art thieves, do they?
WELSHMAN 1 King? Secret?
JACK All right, George, you try!
WELSHMAN 1 King... George?
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JACK (Frustrated) No... no... not King George.
WELSHMAN 1 (Speaking Welsh) SUBTITLED: They've got King George covered with a tarpaulin!
JACK Not King George... It'll be easier if we just show them.
GEORGE I'm not taking any responsibility.
Jack, George and the two Welshmen's faces appear under the tarpaulin and stare up towards the picture. Jack holds up a light and reveals 'Charles the First' looking down on them. Panic comes across the faces of the Welshmen.
The two Welshmen back away from the lorry bowing and gesturing to the drivers to wait. Jack and George watch as they run away into the distance.
GEORGE (cont’d) Well a fat lot of good that did!
91 EXT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON - EVE
The moon shines down on a peaceful looking National Gallery.
92 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON - EVE
Mr Clark walks slowly through the large, echoing rooms of the
Gallery. Deep in thought and alone we hear his footsteps as he paces past the vacant walls.
THE VOICE OF THE BRITISH PRIME MINISTER NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN IN HIS HISTORIC RADIO ADDRESS IS HEARD OVER THE FOLLOWING SCENES:
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CHAMBERLAIN (V.O.) I am speaking to you from the Cabinet Room at 10 Downing Street. This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final note...
93 INT. VILLAGE HOME - EVE
An elderly couple sit by their fireside. The man smokes his pipe, the woman knits. On the wall over the fireplace hangs Van Gogh's 'Chair'.
CHAMBERLAIN (V.O.) ...stating that unless we heard from them by eleven o'clock, that they were prepared at once...
94 INT. VILLAGE PUB - EVE
A man enters the pub and shakes his umbrella to dry it off. As he joins his friends for a pint we see Renoir's 'The Umbrellas' hanging on the wall.
CHAMBERLAIN (V.O.) ...to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now...
95 INT. VILLAGE HOME, KITCHEN - EVE
A woman stands at a sink cleaning plates. Leaning on a nearby wall is Vermeer's 'Woman standing at a Virginal'.
CHAMBERLAIN (V.O.) ...that no such undertaking has been received and that consequently this country is at war with Germany.
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96 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - EVE
The Vicar and Joseph stand in front of the alter admiring his new altar piece - 'Virgin in Prayer' by Sassoferrato. Joseph reads the “Big Book of Art.”
CHAMBERLAIN (V.O.) You can imagine what a bitter blow it is to me that all my long struggle to win peace has failed...
97 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON - EVE
Mr Clark continues to walk slowly through the Gallery.
CHAMBERLAIN (V.O.) ...yet I cannot believe that there is anything more or anything different that I could have done and that would have been more successful.
CLARK Thank God the paintings are safe.
98 EXT: VILLAGE CHAPEL – DAY
The population of the village make their way to the chapel, shaking their heads in disbelief.
99 INT: VILLAGE CHAPEL – DAY
As everyone begins to sit they look to the Vicar for words of comfort. VICAR Now, everyone! I take it we all heard the wireless announcement.
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Everyone nods their heads.
VICAR (cont’d) It is hard to believe that after such a short time we are again at war with Germany. We have to believe that Mr. Chamberlain did his best to avoid another confrontation – but, unfortunately, to no avail. We know not what the future holds for our country but we must pray that God is looking down on us at this most testing of times.
OLD VILLAGER 1 We haven’t got over the last one, yet.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Beginning to wonder why we bothered.
WOMAN 1 (Insistent) And what about all these pictures?
JOSEPH (Standing) They’re not pictures. They’re paintings
WOMAN 3 Mine’s by someone called Hans Holbein. That’s sounds German to me!
JOSEPH It’s Hans Holbein the Younger and he lived and died in London. He strived for perfection in communicating decisively the sitter's character. This is a true measure of his supreme greatness as a portrait painter.
There is a stunned silence as Joseph sits back own. ©Blighty Films Limited
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WOMAN 3 (Rather put out) Well, I knew that, of course.
VICAR I’m sure all will be explained soon.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Vicar says it’s art – whatever that is!
VICAR It is art. And for the time being they’re our responsibility, no thanks to Joseph.
JOSEPH It wasn’t my fault!
WOMAN 1 Well, if it’s art, that’s all right. I for one quite like it.
Everyone nods their heads in agreement.
VICAR Now let us have a moment of quiet reflection on this sad day.
Everyone bows their heads and after a moment of silence the vicar begins to recite The Lord’s Prayer. As they pray the sound of TWO aircraft flying low over the village is heard.
100 EXT: SLATE MINE – DAY
Rawlins looks out over the village and distant hills as the aircraft fly towards the barrage balloons. Looking at his watch he shakes his head and turns to the large steel door. He checks that it is safely locked and then heads back to his cottage.
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101 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - DAY
The lorry is still jammed under the bridge, looking small and isolated in the vast expanse of the Welsh valleys.
102 INT. LORRY CAB, WELSH VALLEYS - DAY
Jack and George, who have slept in their lorry cab overnight, begin to wake.
103 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - DAY
George steps out of the lorry and stretches. Taking a deep breath of fresh country air he undoes his button flies and begins to urinate at the side of the road.
Looking around at the scenery he becomes aware of a large crowd of around a HUNDRED PEOPLE standing ahead of the lorry, all staring at him. George quickly does up his flies and taps on the door of the lorry. When there is no response he BANGS HARD on the door!
Jack wipes away condensation on the windscreen and looks through to see the same sight. As Jack gets out of the lorry THREE STURDY-LOOKING WELSHMEN appear from the crowd, each carrying a pick axe.
GEORGE I don't like the look of this.
As the Welshmen get nearer they stare at Jack and George. One of the sturdy Welshmen, now standing in front of the lorry, raises his pick axe and with all his might brings the axe CRASHING DOWN onto the tarmac.
Other members of the group now follow as a ditch is dug in the road immediately ahead of the jammed vehicle. Women and children of the crowd offer Jack and George drinks and sandwiches as their men dig.
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Jack gets into the lorry and starts the engine. Slowly but surely the lorry moves under the bridge and into the newly dug ditch, lowering the vehicle free of its predicament.
As the lorry drives clear George sees the expectant faces on the crowd as he climbs into the cab. Stepping back and looking into their faces he climbs onto the back of the lorry and begins to untie the tarpaulin cover. JACK joins him and eventually the tarpaulin falls to reveal the Van Dyck painting of 'Charles the First'.
Silence falls over the crowd. Children stare up in amazement as the men remove their hats - all seeing something new in their lives. Nothing needs to be said as Jack and George stand either side of the painting.
104 INT. ROBERTS HOME - DAY
Roberts, Evans, Mr Roberts, Joseph and the three old villagers sit in a line staring at their new acquisition - 'The Rokeby Venus' by Velazquez.' Joseph, crossed-legged on the floor, looks through his art book. Next to him, his Rembrandt leans against the wall.
JOSEPH (Reading from his book) Rembrandt created his distinctive portraits with a small palette of colours dominated by dark earth tones and golden highlights.
The others just stare at the Rokeby Venus.
JOSEPH (cont’d) And by painting more detail in and around the eyes of his subjects, he tapped into an innate human attraction to the face.
Joseph points at his Rembrandt to prove his point as the others are still fixated on the nude.
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ROBERTS Very interesting, Joseph.
EVANS So we can all go back to work now, can we?
OLD VILLAGER 1 Did your friend Rembrandt paint this one as well, Joseph?
JOSEPH (Quickly turning pages) No. This is by Val... Velaz... Velaz..kwez..
OLD VILLAGER 1 They have some funny names, these artists, don’t they?
OLD VILLAGER 3 Thighs are bigger on this one.
Mrs Roberts enters and looks aghast at the new addition to her home.
MRS ROBERTS What on earth is that doing in my house?
ROBERTS Well, you said you didn't want to see the other picture again.
MRS ROBERTS You'll give your father a heart attack. I've had enough. I'm going to put a stop to this!!
Mrs Roberts slams the door as she leaves. ©Blighty Films Limited
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OLD VILLAGER 2 Now there’ll be trouble.
All turn their attention back to the painting.
105 INT. VILLAGE HALL - DAY
The village hall is full of the female population of the village, all chatting with excitement, surrounded by paintings stacked against the walls. They sit as they hear from their self-appointed spokeswoman, Mrs Roberts.
MRS ROBERTS The work of the Devil is amongst us.
AUDIENCE (Aghast) Agggghhh!
MRS ROBERTS In the form of vulgarity! Filth!
AUDIENCE Agggghhh!!
MRS ROBERTS Brought from afar to contaminate our clean and righteous community!!
AUDIENCE Agggghhh!!!
MRS ROBERTS (Banging her fist on a table) Filth. Nothing but filth. And it must be stopped!
Suddenly, behind Mrs Roberts, a cloth comes lose and reveals a large portrait of a fat, nude man - 'Drunken Silenus' by Van Dyck - left leaning against the wall.
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WOMAN 1 Oooohh. Look at that one!
The entire female population of the village roll about LAUGHING. Mrs Roberts, unaware of what has happened, looks perplexed.
MRS ROBERTS Ladies... ladies!!
The women are in a state of UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER.
WOMAN 1 (Shouting out) Well, actually, I think they're quite nice.
All the women start nodding.
WOMAN 2 (Standing and pointing at the male nude) Especially that one!
MRS ROBERTS looks round to see the male nude painting. Shock comes across her face as she tries to cover the genitals with her hands. This causes even more UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER.
WOMAN 3 I did a swap with Mrs Jones. Look what I've got!
WOMAN 3 holds up another male nude painting. The whole room is now in fits of laughter. Mrs Roberts stands in front of the first painting trying to catch the attention of the women.
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MRS ROBERTS Ladies... ladies!!!
106 EXT. VILLAGE STREET - DAY
The three old village men sit on their bench bemused with the laughter they hear coming from the village hall.
107 INT. VILLAGE HALL - CONTINUOUS
As the laughter continues, WOMAN 4 holds up Vincent van Gogh's 'Sunflowers' and proudly shows it to the woman next to her.
WOMAN 4 I'm rather fond of mine.
WOMAN 2 Oh, that's nice, isn't it? It's so colourful.
WOMAN 4 It goes so well with my new wallpaper.
MRS ROBERTS (Trying to take control) Ladies! Ladies!! We mustn’t allow this filth into our village.
WOMAN 1 (Standing and shouting over the din) It’s not filth. IT’S ART! The Vicar said!
The village hall suddenly sinks into silence.
MRS ROBERTS (Surprised) It’s filth!?
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MRS ROBERTS Filth!
WOMAN 1 Art!!
The other women of the village start to get excited and join in, all showing favour towards Woman 1.
MRS ROBERTS Filth!! Filth!! Filth!!
ALL WOMEN Art!! Art!! Art!!
The village women laugh and chat with each other as Mrs Roberts stands aghast in front of them. Mrs Roberts looks out of the window and sees Rawlins walking through the village.
MRS ROBERTS Filth!!
108 EXT: VILLAGE STREET – DAY
Rawlins walks quickly and with obvious intent. Heading towards the telephone box he still tips his hat to acknowledge the three old villagers on their bench but doesn’t stop to talk.
Through the windows of the telephone box, behind Rawlins, appears a line of women exiting the village hall each carrying their respective piece of art.
As Rawlins continues to talk in the telephone box the three old villagers watch the line of women leaving the village hall. Vermeers, Rubens et al pass by, each carried by their new owners.
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As Rawlins exits the telephone box the three old villagers attract his attention and keep him in conversation to stop him looking around.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Do you like art?
RAWLINS (Surprised by the question) Yes, I do.
OLD VILLAGER 2 We like Rembrandt.
RAWLINS (Now confused) Oh...right...good.
OLD VILLAGER 3 Big girl.
RAWLINS Rembrandt?
OLD VILLAGER 3 No.
Rawlins, still unaware of the line of women leaving the village hall behind him, isn’t quite sure where this conversation is going as THREE aircraft fly overhead. Old Villager 3 lifts his binoculars to watch.
RAWLINS Well, must get on.
OLD VILLAGER 1 We’ve got a Rembrandt.
OLD VILLAGER 3 (Lowering binoculars) Good strong woman.
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OLD VILLAGER 2 He created his distinctive portraits with a small palette of colours dominated by dark earth tones and golden highlights.
OLD VILLAGER 1 And by painting more detail in and around the eyes of his subjects, he tapped into an innate human attraction to the face.
OLD VILLAGER 3 And thighs.
Distant anti-aircraft fire is heard.
RAWLINS Right.
The line of women now dispersed, three of the women approach the three old village men sitting on their bench. One by one they take their hands and lead them home.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Oh no, not again. I haven't got the energy.
Rawlins, now left on his own, begins to walk back to the mine. Behind him approaches the lorry with Jack and George. It pulls up beside him.
JACK All right, boss.
RAWLINS You're a little late, aren't you?
JACK Long story. He nearly lost his head, he did.
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RAWLINS What? Again?
Rawlins gets into the lorry. Joseph watches the lorry pass by. He jumps on his bike and RACES after it up the road, his Rembrandt strapped to the handle bars.
A visibly angry Mrs Roberts exits the village hall and marches towards the Chapel.
109 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
As the Vicar sits meditating, the doors to the Chapel swing open causing a BANG to echo around the room. Mrs Roberts enters and approaches the Vicar.
MRS ROBERTS Vicar, I want a word with you. And I want a word with you now!
VICAR Oh dear.
MRS ROBERTS These pictures need to go. They are leading our God fearing community down the wrong road – a road to damnation.
VICAR Well, I agree to a point but...
MRS ROBERTS (Pointing) And you...you...have played a part! Theft, handling of stolen property, desecration, contemptuous actions, bringing such blasphemy into this village.
VICAR They are only pictures.
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MRS ROBERTS Not to mention your drinking habits! People will be hearing of this irreverence if this filth is not removed. And removed at once!
110 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
Jack and George drive their lorry up to the entrance of the cave along with their cargo of one large picture, now re-covered in the tarpaulin.
Joseph stops at the mine gate to watch what happens. The Boss approaches the lorry as Rawlins climbs out.
RAWLINS Remove the tarpaulin and we'll open the mine.
Jack and George climb onto the back of their lorry and again remove the tarpaulin. Joseph watches the unveiling.
Rawlins and the Boss approach the great metal door that protects the National Collection.
The two Wardens, too engrossed in their game of cards, ignore the events around them as Rawlins takes a large key from his pocket, places it in the key hole and slowly turns it. The Boss pulls down a large lever and pulls the door open. One of the Wardens places down a card.
WARDEN 1 Snap!!
Suddenly, thousands of gallons of water GUSH OUT from the cave door and Rawlins and the Boss float away.
Jack and George, having now removed the tarpaulin but still standing on the back of their lorry, watch in horror as water
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EXPLODES out of the cave and all around them. Empty crates marked REMBRANDT, DEGAS, VAN GOGH and TITIAN float by them along with Rawlins' bowler hat, the Boss's hard hat and lots of playing cards.
'Charles the First' looks down on the ensuing disaster. Joseph watches the torrent of water approaching him and, panicking, JUMPS onto his bike. He quickly rides back to the village.
111 EXT. ROBERTS HOME - DAY
Joseph rides through the village looking first into Mrs Roberts' house where Mr Roberts sits alone in front of his nude painting, 'The Rokeby Venus', mouth agog.
112 EXT. VILLAGE PUB - DAY
Joseph continues to the pub where Roberts and Evans are sat at the bar being served by Owen the Landlord.
113 INT. VILLAGE PUB - DAY
Joseph enters the pub with 'his' Rembrandt under his arm.
JOSEPH (Panicking) They've opened the mine.
114 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
The empty crates marked with the artists' names now lie in mud as a well-sodden Rawlins drags himself through the mire to see the damage. As he opens a crate, water and mud pour out and it becomes apparent the crate is empty.
The shock and fear is evident on Rawlins's face as we hear more anti-aircraft fire and plumes of smoke which appear in the distance.
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115 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON - DAY
In a large bare-walled room a concert is taking place as the PIANIST, Myra Hess, plays Bach’s ‘Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring’ on a grand piano. A well-dressed audience, including Mr Clark, dutifully sit and listen.
INTERCUT with following FOUR scenes:
116 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE / VILLAGE STREET – DAY
RAWLINS runs from the mine to the village, panic is evident in his face. Looking over to the village bench, which is vacant of its three old villagers, RAWLINS pulls open the door to the telephone box.
117 INT. OFFICE, NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON - DAY
As the music is heard in the background a telephone RINGS in the office of the Gallery. After some time a hand picks up the receiver. A moment later the receiver is DROPPED onto the desk and a shadow is seen running out of the office.
118 EXT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON - DAY
A large black chauffeur-driven car sits outside the impressive façade of the Gallery. Mr Clark and Miss Hughes hastily leave the entrance and climb into the car. 123 INT. CAR, TRAFALGAR SQUARE, LONDON - DAY
Mr Clark, shaking his head and Miss Hughes, looking pensive, take their seats in the car as it sets off.
119 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE – DAY
The morning sun rises over the Welsh slate mountains. Broken crates are strewn around the whole area around the mine. The large steel doors hang off their hinges as the two Gallery Wardens search through the mire.
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120 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
Rawlins and the Boss stand in the main area of the mine. Surrounding them are broken crates, large puddles and falling water drops.
Rawlins, wearing his sodden, crumpled bowler hat is beside himself. He staggers around the broken crates pulling them apart in the hope of finding some paintings.
RAWLINS Where are they? Where are all the paintings? They can't all have been destroyed.
BOSS Is that all it was?
RAWLINS Is that all?!!!
BOSS Well I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t even know who you are. You never did say.
RAWLINS My name is Mr Rawlins and I work for the National Gallery in London.
BOSS Well fancy that.
RAWLINS How could this have happened?
BOSS Oh, we had a flood once before. Now that really was bad. We had to close the mine for a whole day.
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RAWLINS (Crawling over crates and reading the names) The entire National Collection. Vermeer, Rubens, Rembrandt...
BOSS Rembrandt! I’ve heard of him. The whole village is talking about Rembrandt. Funny that.
121 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
The Vicar stands in his pulpit overlooking the congregation. By the way he keeps looking across at her, it is obvious that he has been forced to give his sermon by Mrs Roberts who watches him struggle through his words.
VICAR A great flood has befallen us. God has seen fit to cleanse our village, sending us a clear message that...
Mrs Roberts crosses her arms and gives the VICAR a hard look.
VICAR (cont’d) ...that the pictures must be sent back from whence they came.
CONGREGATION No... no!!
JOSEPH Why?
EVANS (To Roberts) But we can go back to work, now?
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Roberts shakes his head.
WOMAN 1 (To Mrs Roberts) This is your doing, isn’t it?
VICAR Not that they are evil, Joseph – just not ours to keep. So go forth and gather...
Again Mrs Roberts gives the Vicar a stern look.
VICAR (cont’d) ...the beautiful pictures that have shined a little sunlight into our lives, and may we be thankful that God saw fit to make our small flock the chosen ones for this task. And now we will sing hymn number sixty three, 'All things Bright and Beautiful'.
122 INT: VILLAGE PUB – DAY
The pub is overflowing with the congregation as they have their drinks.
ROBERTS All things bright and bloody beautiful. It'll be impossible to get everything back without anyone knowing.
EVANS I don’t understand. As long as the mine is empty, we can all go back to work.
ROBERTS The fact that the mine is empty is now the problem. They'll be searching our homes soon enough. We could be locked up.
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JOSEPH But we saved the paintings. They'd be all ruined by now if it wasn't for us.
EVANS They wouldn’t be ruined at all if it wasn’t for you leaving the shaft door open!
JOSEPH I didn’t. It’s not true. I was told that telling the truth is always the best way.
ROBERTS Not on this occasion, Joseph. Not on this occasion.
JOSEPH It’s not my fault.
123 EXT. VILLAGE PUB - DAY
Jack and George, glad to be escaping events for a short time, walk through the village and towards the pub.
GEORGE At last. A pub!
JACK Looks popular.
GEORGE I don't care. I just need a drink. There's going to be hell to pay for and you know who'll get the blame.
JACK It won't be us, will it?
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GEORGE It won't be the governors, I can tell you that. They'll all get knighthoods while the likes of us get locked up.
124 INT. VILLAGE PUB - DAY
Jack and George enter the pub. As the locals look round a DEATHLY HUSH drops throughout the pub.
JACK Locked up!?
Jack and George stop as they realise they are the centre of attention. Behind them Renoir's 'Umbrellas' still hangs as Owen the landlord welcomes the strangers in.
OWEN Good afternoon, gentlemen. Can I interest you in a drink?
Jack and George approach the bar as the locals watch their every move.
OWEN (cont’d) (Talking to the locals) Now come on, you lot. I'm sure you can be more welcoming to these two gentlemen from... Where are you from?
GEORGE London. OWEN (Worried) Oh... That's nice.
Owen pours them a drink.
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JOSEPH He said 'locked up'. Do you think they're going to lock us up?
EVANS Shhhhh!!
Jack and George take a drink and turn to see the Renoir painting. The whole pub now stands in fear as Jack approaches the painting. He looks closely at it and then turns to George.
JACK They do some bloody good reproductions these days.
GEORGE Can't tell the difference.
Both Jack and George turn to see the pub's clientele has taken a step closer to them. They give them a friendly nod as Jack sees the Rembrandt leaning against a seat.
JACK Oh, look. They've got that one too. That's one of my favourites.
Joseph steps between the two men and the Rembrandt.
JOSEPH It's mine.
GEORGE A good choice.
JOSEPH Are you going to lock us up?
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GEORGE I don't think so.
Evans and Roberts quickly step into the conversation to distract the strangers from Joseph.
EVANS We don't get many strangers here.
ROBERTS Especially from London.
JOSEPH Are they going to lock us up? The mine was flooded, you see.
GEORGE The mine!?
ROBERTS He's best ignored.
EVANS Put us out of work.
OWEN (Trying to change the subject) Another drink, Gentlemen?
JOSEPH And if you do lock me up I'll be taking my painting with me because it's mine and Mrs Roberts would have had her curtains put up by the time you release me. GEORGE Curtains?
A worrying pause follows as Jack and George try to make sense of the situation and digest the strange information given.
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OWEN Another drink, Gentlemen? On the house.
GEORGE Oh, that's very kind.
EVANS (Putting his arm around Jack) Yes. Why don't you come and have another drink? Maybe you can help us.
JACK That's very hospitable of you. Very hospitable indeed. Always happy to help.
Evans and Roberts guide the two men towards the bar leaving Joseph bewildered that no-one has listened to him.
125 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS – DAY
The large, black chauffeur-driven car continues its journey through the valleys.
126 INT. CAR, WELSH VALLEYS - DAY
Mr Clark and Miss Hughes stare ahead of themselves, looking very apprehensive.
127 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - DAY
The car travels down winding roads and under a stone built bridge where the vehicle promptly DROPS into the previously-dug ditch in the road.
Steam GUSHES from the engine.
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128 EXT. VILLAGE STREET – DAY
Rawlins walks quickly, almost breaking into a run, towards the telephone box. He tips his hat to the three old villagers and suddenly stops when he sees Joseph pushing his bike towards the village hall. Attached to the front of his bike is his Rembrandt. As Joseph enters the village hall Rawlins looks over to the three gentlemen and stares at them. Looking guilt ridden, one by one they point towards the village hall.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Told you we had a Rembrandt.
129 INT. VILLAGE HALL – DAY
Joseph sits on the floor, cross-legged, with his art book. He looks from the book to the paintings that surround him.
Rawlins enters slowly and sees the paintings and Joseph who looks up to him like a child looking up to a teacher. Rawlins approaches the paintings and touches them.
JOSEPH We’ve got hundreds of new paintings in the village. Really brightened the place up, they have.
Saying nothing, Rawlins moves closer to a picture by Vermeer.
JOSEPH (cont’d) That one’s by Johannes Vermeer. He didn’t paint many. Only about thirty five. Shame really.
Rawlins moves to a Monet
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JOSEPH (cont’d) (Mispronouncing) Claude Monet.
RAWLINS (Quietly correcting) Monet...Monet.
JOSEPH He lived a very long life. Had a nice garden.
Rawlins moves to a Van Gogh.
JOSEPH (cont’d) That’s by Van Gogh. I think he was a very sad man.
Rawlins begins to cry, both through relief of finding the paintings and listening to how they have taught one so innocent.
RAWLINS Yes. He was. Very sad.
Rawlins moves to a Canaletto, pointing to it and waiting for a response.
JOSEPH (Looking at his book) Canaletto. He tried to imitate how the human eye sees the environment.
RAWLINS (Wiping his eyes with a handkerchief) ...sees the environment. Yes, yes. Very good.
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JOSEPH Do you like paintings?
RAWLINS Yes. Very much.
JOSEPH I like paintings. It was just a simple mistake. No damage done and it wasn’t my fault. All the nice paintings were getting wet, you see. So we decided to bring them back to the village and dry them off.
RAWLINS (Still crying) How? How did you dry them off?
JOSEPH Rubbed them down with a dry flannel, of course.
Rawlins laughs and cries at the same time.
JOSEPH (cont’d) Only all the paintings would have been ruined if we didn't move them. We were only trying to help. It was the rain.
RAWLINS Of course. Yes, of course.
JOSEPH Brought us happiness they have.
Rawlins looks to Joseph and nods, seeing something of himself many years ago.
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130 EXT. VILLAGE PUB - DAY
Jack and George leave the pub and stand motionless, staring ahead of themselves. Both seem to be in a state of disbelief.
JACK We're just picture hangers. Never get into trouble. Live a quiet life. Never break the law.
GEORGE Like most good people in this country, not that it's recognised. They're right. They did save the paintings. And like us, they won't be thanked. They'll just be blamed. Called thieves and probably locked up.
A few yards down the road Rawlins appears from the village hall. Wiping his eyes he approaches Jack and George.
GEORGE (To Jack) Do you think we should put him out of his misery?
RAWLINS The Director is on his way from London. So I believe we have a job to do.
131 EXT. VILLAGE STREETS - DAY
From all directions members of the village community leave their respective homes and head towards the village chapel. Passing their small cottages they carry Gainsboroughs, Renoirs and Van Goghs - the larger ones being conveyed on different forms of transport, including wheelbarrows and horse and cart. Standing at the chapel entrance Rawlins, Jack and George oversee the almost biblical scene as Rawlins begins to mark off each painting on his clipboard – and then everything stops. ©Blighty Films Limited
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Slowly a realization comes across each villager which makes them stop and look up. A large, imposing shadow begins to fall over the community. There is no panic, just a serene interest in what they are witnessing. A large barrage balloon floats just above the village roofs, bouncing off their chimneys and then quietly into the distance.
A small army convoy of three jeeps suddenly dashes through the village, speeding past the villagers as it pursues the balloon. Moments later, Joseph speeds past on his bike chasing the convoy.
After a moment of reflection the last few paintings enter the chapel. Rawlins tips his hat to the three old villagers on their bench and heads back to the mine.
132 INT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
The Vicar stands in his pulpit overlooking his flock. Pictures of all sizes fill the church. With a certain amount of relief the Vicar begins his sermon.
VICAR Praise God! Praise God for blessing us with the beauty of man's talent and entrusting our little community with the safe-keeping of the country's paintings. Now to be returned to those whom we entrust to defend our heritage from those who may wish to take it from us.
Jack and George enter the church. Bowing to the altar they join the end of a pew near Evans and Roberts and give them a knowing nod.
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VICAR (cont’d) So, today is the day we say goodbye to our new found friends. Titian, Canaletto, Rembrandt, Vermeer, Turner and many more names who were little known to us until now.
JACK (To Evans) We're going to have to get a move on. The boss from London is on his way.
Roberts gives a thumbs-up sign to the Vicar.
VICAR (Speeding up his speech) So if everyone is ready. Ladies, please line up in an orderly fashion and take your pictures outside to the waiting vehicle. Gentlemen, those pictures which can be carried please take to the entrance of the mine.
The congregation stand and begin to file out of the church carrying and dragging their paintings along behind them.
133 EXT. WELSH VALLEYS - DAY
Mr Clark and Miss Hughes stand by the side of their ditched car. They face a crowd of a HUNDRED LOCALS staring inquisitively at them. A small group of sturdy looking men step forward.
Mr Clark and Miss Hughes are given tea and cakes as their car is physically lifted off the road and out of its predicament. As the car sets off the crowd CHEERS and waves.
134 EXT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
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their pictures.
JACK Come on Ladies, hurry up.
Paintings are stacked onto the back of the lorry by George and Jack. The three old village men sit on their bench watching the events before them.
OLD VILLAGER 1 Not going to be the same without our pictures.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Wife's complaining already. Says I'm useful for nothing.
OLD VILLAGER 3 Apparently it’s paintings. Not pictures!
OLD VILLAGER 1 & 2 Oh, right.
135 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE - DAY
Rawlins stands at the mine entrance and watches the line of men carrying painting after painting into the mine.
136 EXT. VILLAGE CHAPEL - DAY
As the last painting is put on the lorry Jack JUMPS behind the wheel and drives away.
Evans, Roberts, Mr Roberts, the Vicar and the women of the village watch in dismay as the lorry disappears into the distance.
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VICAR (Reciting a psalm) Before the hills in order stood, Or earth received her frame, From everlasting Thou art God, To endless years the same.
The busy tribes of flesh and blood, With all their cares and fears, Are carried downward by the flood, And lost in following years.
OLD VILLAGER 1 There's one missing.
EVANS What!!??
OLD VILLAGER 1 There's one missing.
OLD VILLAGER 2 Aye. The one of the lady.
OLD VILLAGER 3 Big girl she was.
OLD VILLAGER 2 We've been watching out for her.
OLD VILLAGER 1 She never appeared!
VICAR (Realising) Joseph!
137 EXT. HILLSIDE – DAY
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a Stream’ he runs his fingers across its surface, almost caressing the subject.
138 EXT: VILLAGE STREETS – DAY
The villagers search around the village looking for Joseph.
EVANS Joseph, Joseph!!
139 EXT: HILLSIDE - DAY
The VICAR, seeing Joseph, marches up the hillside towards him.
VICAR Joseph! What are you doing?
JOSEPH picks up the painting and holds it tight against his body.
JOSEPH No!!
VICAR Now Joseph. You know that all the pictures have to go back.
JOSEPH (Upset) It’s a painting, not a picture. And it’s mine. Nobody else's. They've got lorry loads. They won't miss one little painting, will they?
VICAR Joseph!
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JOSEPH (Very upset – the tears begin to flow) And it wasn’t my fault. I did close the door. I get blamed for everything. Changed my life, this painting. Everybody admires her. She was the first, the one that caught everyone's eye...she’s mine.
JOSEPH breaks down into tears. The VICAR moves closer and puts his arm around JOSEPHS shoulder.
VICAR (Comforting) Now listen. This is important, Joseph. She doesn’t belong here. She doesn’t belong with us. She belongs with all the other pictures, back in the mine.
In the distance we hear Joseph's name being called in the village. The VICAR and JOSEPH look up and see the villagers carrying the paintings up the opposite hill towards the mine.
VICAR (Cont’d) Look! Everyone’s taking their pictures back. Back to where they belong.
JOSEPH But I’ll never see her again.
VICAR Nothing lasts forever, Joseph. Nothing lasts forever.
The Vicar helps Joseph back to his feet, along with his bicycle, as they start to walk down the hill together towards the village.
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VICAR (Consoling) You know, Joseph, I think that one day you will find your picture again. Wherever it may be.
JOSEPH (Grumpy) It’s a painting. Not a picture.
140 EXT. VILLAGE STREET - DAY
Roberts pushes Mr Roberts in his wheelchair and is followed by Evans, Owen and the rest of the crowd as they continue to search for Joseph.
Mrs Roberts approaches the crowd.
CROWD Joseph!! Joseph!!
MRS ROBERTS (Pointing at Mr Roberts) What on earth is he doing here? I left him at home.
ROBERTS Have you seen Joseph?
MRS ROBERTS Came out to see filth, didn't you? You know that getting him excited does him no good.
MR ROBERTS (Struggling to get a sentence out - almost growling) Shut up woman! Them pictures were the closest I've had to a bit of loving in years.
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CROWD Oooooohhhhh!!
The crowd looks SHOCKED. They all glare at Mrs Roberts, particularly the women, who give each other knowing looks.
MRS ROBERTS (Embarrassed) Well, don't look at me. He's simply not capable any more.
MR ROBERTS (Wheezing) When was the last time you tried?
VILLAGE WOMAN 1 I've had loving constantly for the past few days. You'd be surprised what they're capable of.
VILLAGE WOMAN 2 Oh... you as well?
Joseph and the Vicar walk towards the crowd, Joseph holding the Rembrandt under his arm.
EVANS Look. It's Joseph!
JOSEPH (Shouting) I want to be with a woman!
A deadly hush falls.
JOSEPH (cont’d) I want to know what it's like.
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VICAR Now, Joseph, calm down.
JOSEPH You all laugh at me. . MRS ROBERTS No-one is laughing at you, Joseph.
JOSEPH What else is there? When you have your curtains put up there'll be nothing.
MRS ROBERTS Curtains?
VICAR Joseph! It's time for her to go back. It's time you said goodbye.
Joseph looks round at his fellow villagers. Evans gives him a friendly nod. Joseph takes a last look at the painting and with a tear in his eye begins to hand it over to Roberts.
Just as the picture is being handed over, the large black chauffeur-driven car passes the crowd. Mr Clark stares out of the car in disbelief at what he is seeing - one of his paintings being held by two startled looking locals.
141 INT. CAR, VILLAGE STREET - DAY
Mr Clark sits back in his seat. Unable to fathom what he has seen he shakes his head as the car continues its journey towards the mine.
142 EXT. VILLAGE STREET - DAY
Joseph and Roberts, still holding the painting, freeze for a moment.
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MR ROBERTS Bloody hell!!
Suddenly Joseph GRABS the painting and runs as fast as he can towards the mine.
ROBERTS Go, Joseph - go!!
143 EXT. VILLAGE STREETS - DAY
Joseph runs through the village streets as people open their windows and front doors. They all shout to him.
VILLAGERS Faster, Joseph - faster!!!
144 EXT. VILLAGE OUTSKIRTS – DAY
The car is still ahead of him as Joseph takes a short cut through a field and up a hill - running with all his strength.
Reaching the top of the small hill Joseph slows down, now out of breath. He sits, crumpled on the ground, as he accepts defeat. Looking towards the mine gate a smile comes across his face.
145 EXT. MANOD MINE GATE – DAY
Hundreds of sheep block the gate entrance, surrounding the black car. Mr Clark tries to open his door but is blocked by one of the sheep.
146 EXT. VILLAGE OUTSKIRTS - DAY
Evans and Roberts, both out of breath, pick Joseph up from the
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ground and, with regenerated energy, all three head towards the mine entrance.
147 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE – DAY
Rawlins points to where paintings should be put as the villagers place them around the mine. A sense of urgency prevails.
148 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE – DAY
Three aircraft fly over the village, the sound of which disperses the sheep. The black car moves slowly up the road towards the mine entrance.
149 INT. CAR – DAY
Mr Clark and Miss Hughes look in despair out of the car windows as they pass broken crates marked with artist names.
150 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE – DAY
Villagers run around with paintings trying their best to return them to their original location.
151 EXT. MANOD SLATE MINE – DAY
The car carrying Mr Clark and Miss Hughes continues up the road towards the mine. Arriving at the entrance to the mine they get out of their car and look around, surprised that no-one is there to greet them.
152 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE – DAY
Mr Clark and Miss Hughes walk into the mine and through to the main area where they stop and STARE IN AMAZEMENT at what they ©Blighty Films Limited
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see - the National Gallery Collection leaning against the walls of the cave covering all traces of slate and creating a cathedral-like aura. Interspersed amongst the paintings are the male villagers who continue to work at speed to replace the last few paintings. Suddenly everything stops when they realise they are being watched. Each villager stands rigid and worried about what lays ahead.
Slowly, Mr Clark wanders into the centre of the mine arching his head to view all the paintings. Taking a particular interest in the Rembrandt, 'Woman Bathing in a Stream', which is in the hands of Joseph, Mr Clark approaches and removes it from his grasp. Joseph’s bottom lip begins to tremble as Evans and Roberts console him. Turning his attention to the other villagers Clark stares each one in the eye during an unnerving moment of silence.
CLARK What have you done...what have you done?
JOSEPH (Heard in the background) It wasn’t my fault.
Another moment of awkward silence takes place, Clark with a questioning expression on his face.
From one side of the main area of the mine, out of the darkness, appears Rawlins who tentatively approaches Mr Clark and Miss Hughes. An inaudible conversation takes place with Rawlins waving his arms about and pointing at the villagers.
Jack and George stand close by listening.
GEORGE (To Jack) Don’t say a word. I’m not taking any responsibility.
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Both Clark and Hughes listen intently to what Rawlins is saying. They both look surprised at what they hear as their eyes wander between Rawlins and the villagers, who still stand with anxious expressions.
CLARK (To Rawlins) Are they all here? Are they all safe?
Rawlins nods. Clark gives a knowing smile as he turns and looks the villagers in the eye.
CLARK (cont’d) Do you know what you have done? Do you know what these paintings represent? And how important they are to our country’s heritage? Artifacts of unlimited value?
Clark looks around him and realizes his words don’t mean much to those staring back through glazed eyes.
CLARK (cont’d) (Resigned) No...no you don’t, do you? And...I shouldn’t expect you to.
A villager hesitatingly speaks.
VILLAGER 1 My....my favourite is Johannes Vermeer. The detail is amazing.
VILLAGER 2 Mine’s Claude Monet.
With renewed confidence all the male villagers begin to express their views on the paintings.
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VILLAGER 3 No. Thomas Gainsborough. He’s British.
VILLAGER 4 Rubens!
VILLAGER 5 John Constable!
VILLAGER 6 Michaelangelo.
VILLAGER 7 (With Italian gusto) Antonello da Messina
VILLAGER 8 (Mispronouncing) I like Anthony van Dick.
JOSEPH Rembrandt!
All the villagers fall silent as they see Mr Clark and Miss Hughes staring wide-eyed at them. Clark realizes he has been wrong about the villagers.
CLARK (Heartened) Thank you...... Thank you. Whatever faces you, young men, in our uncertain future, and God knows it’s always the best of our youth who we lose, remember this. You have already played a part in saving a piece of our country’s soul and for that I shall be eternally grateful.
153 EXT: VILLAGE STREET – EVE
Rawlins walks at a brisk, confident pace, towards the village. The three old villagers are sat on their favourite bench ©Blighty Films Limited
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watching the world go by. Rawlins tips his hat to acknowledge them and enters the telephone box. After a few moments he exits the box and looks towards the three old men.
OLD VILLAGER 3 It’s Tuesday.
RAWLINS Yes. Of course it is. How silly of me.
The three move up the bench to make room for Rawlins, who duly sits down next to them – and watches the world go by as a light is switched on.
154 EXT. ROBERTS GARDEN - EVE
An upstairs light is switched on revealing Joseph standing in the Roberts' garden. Movement is evident through the window as Joseph looks up to watch. A naughty smile appears on his face.
155 INT. MANOD SLATE MINE - EVE
The cave, now empty of people and as silent as can be, safely holds the National Collection. 'Charles the First' looks down on his new home and Rembrandt's 'Woman Bathing in a Stream' hangs proudly amid its contemporaries.
MIX TO:
156 INT. NATIONAL GALLERY, LONDON, PRESENT DAY - DAY
An old grey-haired man sits before Rembrandt's 'Woman Bathing in a Stream'.
A female GALLERY ATTENDANT approaches him and takes his arm to give some support.
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GALLERY ATTENDANT We’re closing now.
OLD JOSEPH (Talking to himself) Nothing lasts forever. Nothing lasts forever.
Looking tired he stands and begins to hobble towards the exit.
GALLERY ATTENDANT Same time tomorrow, Joseph? The pictures will still be here.
Old Joseph stands and walks towards the gallery exit.
OLD JOSEPH Yes. Same time tomorrow. And they’re paintings, not pictures.
As we hear the echoing sound of a Welsh male voice choir we MIX TO:
157 EXT: NATIONAL GALLERY – DAY
Present day Trafalgar Square bustles with people and performers.
The following TEXT appears:
PLATE ONE: During the Second World War the National Gallery in London decided to risk exhibiting one painting from its collection every month.
Thousands queued to see each piece of work.
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PLATE TWO: In 1945, on cessation of conflict, the whole collection returned safely to the walls of the Gallery where they remain today...
....including Josephs.
FADE TO BLACK. END CREDITS
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