The Student Newspaper of Imperial College 1 JJ U 1 11 21 May 1993 Issue 967

WISE women visit IC by Andrew Tseng Last Friday saw the illustrious Dr Mary Archer, Visiting Professor to Biochemistry and wife of Lord Jeffrey Archer, chair the Women in Science, Engineering and Medicine question time. Her panel consisted of Ms Kate Bellingham (Presenter on BBCl's Tomorrow's World), Dr Anna Kessling (St Mary's Hospital Medical School), Dr Nancy Lane (Department of Zoology, University of Cambridge), Dr Susan Parry (Centre for Analytical Research in the Enviroment) and Mrs Jean Venables (Consulting Engineer, IC Alumna). Questions from the floor ranged from 'What can you do if you are the subject of sexual discrirnination?' to 'Should going to a single sex school be encouraged or discouraged?'. Dr Mary Archer and Kate Bellingham of BBC's Tomorrow's World. Shock horror in Southside halls By our News Staff wall'. The incident was has since arisen due to Mr discuss matters like this, and Alarms were raised this week over immediately reported to Richard Comeaux's subsequent denial that produced a copy of the 'IC safety arrangements in Falmouth Owen, a subwarden, who covered the incident ever occurred, and Dangerous Occurrences Report Keogh Hall following allegations of the offending junctions with posters Professor New has added to this. Form (not causing injury)' that an incident last Sunday, where a and informed the warden, Professor Questioned on Tuesday by Imperial should be submitted by any student resident was reportedly exposed to Geoffrey New. An immediate College News Network (iCNN) experiencing such an incident. The faulty electrical circuits, leaving investigation was begun, with STOIC, Professor New said he had form should be filled in to report sources worried that College was college electricians spending been informed of an incident any dangerous incidents occurring taking a cavalier approach to the Monday and Tuesday covering involving a student's accident with around the campus, but evidence safety of students living in halls. blocks in Falmouth Keogh Hall, but exposed electrical currents, but that acquired by iCNN suggests that Mr Clinton Comeaux asserts that not upstairs in Tizard Hall on this allegation had since been knowledge of the existence of this he was speaking on the telephone staircase one. withdrawn. Subsequent attempts document is very scarce. This when he touched a bare, live Felix understands that when the made by iCNN to gather 'After the Fact' approach to junction block and experienced a incident was reported, some information have drawn a blank, potential hazards within halls of mild electric shock. 'As the wires considerable time after its suggesting that the 'incident' is residence has been condemned as touched the back plate, sparks flew occurrence to Messrs Leach and merely wild speculation intended to 'foolhardy', as it is implicit that the across the corridor', he said Guirey of Estates Management, fuel an outbreak of mass hysteria in extent of faults must be appraised yesterday. An eyewitness reports they were rather shocked, and Southside Halls. in terms of risks or injuries arising hearing an audible cry as the lights claimed that they were not When iCNN spoke to Estates from those faults, before any action went out, while another says that previously aware of Mr Comeaux's Management, they said that a Safety is taken to rectify them. Mr Comeaux 'reeled back from the electrocution. Further controversy Committee sits every term to

6 8 12/13 16-21 Restructure College Out with the Reviews Rage Lifts... Dalai Lama Galore N ews 21 May 1993 Felix 967 More voting Film triumph

by Jonty Beavan Before rerunning the contest, Mr Election fever has again hit Imperial Dominic Wilkinson, current Hon College as the race for the new post Sec (Events) has changed his of Deputy President (Clubs and position's job description. As part Societies), hots up. of the general restructuring of At the time of writing, only one Imperial College Union, the Hon candidate, Charles Leary, has put Sec (Events) post is to become himself forward. Mr Leary, a final solely responsible for student Clubs year Biology student, is proposed and Societies. by Grahame Hey and almost If no further candidates announce completely seconded. In the themselves by 5 pm this evening, previous set of Sabbatical elections, Mr Leary will only be opposed by during March, Mr Leary stood for New Election. Hustings for the post the post of Honourary Secretary will be held on Thursday 3rd June (Events), but withdrew for reasons in the Union, with voting taking that were never made clear. Due to place on Monday 7th and Tuesday an inconclusive result, another 8th June. election has to held for the post. Oxford women win

by Andrew Tseng equal opportunities debate. The and Declan Curry Association of University Teachers Oxford University was found to be has pointed out that women guilty of sex discrimination and professors are paid on average hypocrisy over its equal £1500 less than their male opportunities policy this week. counterparts. A much higher Dons voted 182 to 37 in favour proportion of women than men of rejecting the appointment of 15 professors are in the under £34000 professorships at Congregation, the per annum pay bracket. Less than University's parliament. The 20 per cent of men professors fall £100,000 pounds will go instead into this category. towards lower level promotions, as The decision can still be upturned currently 20 per cent of lecturers at if the university's senior executive the University are women. This body, Council, decides that the compares to 4 women professors, proposals should go to a postal less than 5.1 per cent, of the ballot. In the event of this University's senior academic happening, equal opportunities community. campaigners are confident that the The University's commitment to 66 per cent majority of this week's The New Imperial College Union Cinema opened last Thursday, with its equal opportunities policy has vote is an indication of the ultimate unprecedented success writes Jonty Beavan. been questioned after revelations outcome of any university wide An audience of over seventy people, watched the film 'Singles' in the that it had turned down the advice ballot. Union Concert Hall. This was the first showing of any film by Imperial of its equal opportunities In an interview with iCNN College Unions Film Society in its new location. Until before Easter the committee. The committee had Imperial College Radio, Emma Society's showings were located in Mech Eng 220. Mr Laugharne, one urged the university to create Westcot, the Women's Officer at of the projectionists, said he was 'amazed, we never expected so many readerships. Oxford University said that, 'This people'. Yesterday's showing of 'Scent of a Woman' was expected to be The high profile proposals at decision will encourage women just as well attended. Oxford have fuelled the national looking for a career in academia.' Improvements will continue to the ICU Cinema over summer: Two 35 millimetre projectors are to be bought and a projection gallery installed at the rear of the Concert Hall. It is hoped that all the changes will be Barber plans for ICU completed for the beginning of the next academic year.

by our man in the toilet expansion into part of the games Plans are afoot within ICU to move room. STOIC getting bigger the games machines from the Suggestions have been mooted Games room, currently next door that while the lavatory update is in to Da Vinci's in the Union Building, progress, the Games room will also by Jonty n' Donny present STOIC studio on the highest and use the room for another, as yet undergo a complete facelift. STOIC, Imperial College's very floor of the Union Building. unspecified, purpose. Current proposals imply that a own television station, is planning The plans have yet to confirmed, The reason for the movement of Barbers or Hairdresser salon could to expand from its base on the third but will meet their final testing at games machines is to enable a be installed in the remaining space. floor of the Union Building. the next meeting of House restructuring of the toilets situated Where the games machines would STOIC (Student Television of committee. House committee is a behind the Games Room, to allow be moved to, if this proposal went Imperial College) plots to overflow student body responsible for for their use by disabled people. through, has yet to be considered. into the Clubs Committee room. fixtures and furnishing of the This refurbishment will involve an This extra space sits next to the Imperial College Union building.

Page 2 Opinion Felix 967 21 May 1993

problem; the situation must be their work and do very little else. to at all. Editorial sorted out very quickly. Money It hardly seems worthwhile to Credits Allow me the indulgence of your cannot go pouring down the drain, indulge the egos of a few oversized News: Andrew Tseng, Declan imagination for a few minutes. but time must be set aside to teenagers in affairs like this. Curry, Monsieur Crotaz. Suppose you are the manager of a convince members of staff of any Besides, in a few years they will be Feature: Sonia, Harry, Geoff large business. Let's take it a little rearrangments. It does not do to gone. It seems like they have no Maxwell, Reviews: Donny, Phil, closer to home; imagine you are the steamroller any alteration over concern anyway. After all how Tintin, Laura, Flossie, Marcus head of a College of the University staff. Imperial College had a vivid many voices of student outrage Alexander, Patrick Wood, Choc, reminder of that during the were raised when Sir Eric Ash of London. s Poddy, Gareth, GPH. Clubs: Now, let's expand it a little Messenger, Security and Car announced a 're-examination' of Ismail, Sarmad. Photography: further, you have noticed that one Parking dispute last year. our position within the University Joe, Mike. Collating Genius: of the departments under your remit Fine. Whatever you decide, you of London? Who, sabbaticals aside, Steven Newhouse. is making a severe financial loss. Of need at least to talk to all the people complained about the extension of Thanks: Rose, Andy, Simon, Ian course, this cannot continue, but concerned. The head of the the college day, that ignored a Hodge, Steve Dunton, Dave what is your first step? Should you department, the lecturers, the Old referendum taken three years ago Cohen, Hugh Eland, Bee, Steffff, close down the Department? Make student associations, all the support by Imperial students who said they Kristine, Alex, Mario's pink serious cuts in the running cost of staff involved. Oh, I suppose the did not want it? Is it really two years shirt, Chris, Rick, Dominic 'Boyz the area concerned? Break up the actual students studying there will since the Rector's last Question is the magazine for me' Department and merge it with have to be told, but they hardly Time? Wilkinson. another, more profitable, part of the matter. A few might complain, but No don't bother with the College? the vast majority just get on with students, they aren't worth talking Whatever you decide, how would you do it? When you make serious cost cutting efforts, people are going to get hurt, jobs are going to be lost. What about the prospective mjc> Tue ^rrTL.e

this paper have written on it? And let me have my way. I'm not too sure to be honest, RCS I'll give you love, because the handwriting can be This is a piss take. (No spite or I'll hit you like a truck, scruffy. But key words include malice is intended) I'll give you love, Cat's Eyes 'Bosnia', 'refugee', 'poor', To get social colours off your CCU, I'll teach you how to .... 'homeless' and 'help'. Anyone they I was told, you basically had to do Refugees approach doesn't really read it, and nothing except hang around the Hard, isn't it? As users of the Underground may certainly no one gives generously. CCU exec a lot. Take a look at the already be aware, a new breed of But can you blame them? Since it RCS Union Awards List 1992-93 to No go see what I mean: Paul Thomas, beggar has appeared on the stations, was highlighted some time ago, that In case you haven't already worked Dave Goddard, The B/sht editors, or to be more precise, on the trains. beggars can earn a small fortune per it out, I'm still here. What would you get the idea. They walk from carriage to day, the public have become more quitting achieve? A few letters from carriage, with the look of sceptical as to their authenticity. Why then did they include such some students expressing their hopelessness on their faces and a Nevertheless, roaming the trains contributors as Jonty Beavan? delight and the chance for me to pathetic appearance complimented is at the least a different approach Strange. commandeer a couple of pages to by the jumble sale clothes they and the original beggar deserves say an exaggerated farewell and to wear. As they approach you, your credit (wouldn't he prefer cash ! - Madonna Space Filler have one final big bitch. That I in-built prejudices may dismiss Ed). But it fails. Despite the Fill in the missing word, that was would really enjoy; to say all the them as low- lifes, wastrels, situation in the late-Yugoslavia, deliberately left out from the chorus things that I have held back about underlings to be ignored. But your obtaining sympathy, and with it of Erotica, and is replaced by a lot anyone that has ever pissed me off. thoughts are soon taken away once some money, from commuters who of 'ahh-ing': He who laughs last and all that. It you spot the give away to their loathe the unpredictable tube, is Give it up, will happen one day, but not within identity: a piece of ragged paper harder than getting blood from a Do as I say, the immediate future, I hope. held feebly in one hand. What does stone. Give it up, P.J. Dodd

Page 3 opinio n 21 May 1993 Felix 967

Musos slammed! Fame at last

Dear Editor, band. Picture a person trying to Dear Jonty, practice in the Union Lounge on Many a time I have shied away explain what an orange is like, to Now that I have achieved Wednesday at about 3.00pm. from complaining about Felix an Eskimo, by saying that it's like worldwide fame after appearing on If you are interested, either music reviews, mainly because they a grapefruit, only smaller. the front cover of Felix juggling contact me or come along on leave me questioning whether I Secondly, I am the first to admit torches (Felix 966), I thought I Wednesday. know anything about current that my grammar is suspect, but I would use my celebrity status to Yours sincerely, releases. am tired of attempting to glean the mention that we are trying to start Simon Haynes, Elec Eng 1. I have two main grievances to air: intended meaning from between a circus skills society for next year. Firstly, I am in possession of a seemingly random punctuation and At the moment we have informal considerable music collection, incomplete sentences. If I can get albeit of mainstream tendency, and the meaning then mostly it's not I beleive that I am well above even about the album under review. A little undermining average in the IC musically The review ultimately fails to tell educated department. Why then, me much about the songs on the Dear Jonty, Union. have I not heard the names, even, album, surely the main point of the Re: Union Restructuring. This is reflected from the fact that of most of the groups reviewed in review! I do not want to cramp It seems to me that the current there has been no student Felix? None of my flatmates have anyone's style but it's downright ideas for restructuring the Union consultation, nor is there likely to heard of any of them! Surely it annoying when a music review tells have absolutely no effect on, and be. would not be beyond the capabilities us more about the writer's alter ego will be of no use to the members of Has this just been an excuse for of the journalists to review an album (eg Lise Yates, RIP) than the music. the general student body. the sabbaticals to avoid doing any by a group we may have heard of, This is not meant to start a war There is no mention of useful work? or even material that we might wish of words, but, HIGHBROW, improvement of services or Yours sincerely, to purchase. PRETENTIOUS MUSIC representation which, in my Gina Mortley, MRE 2. It may show off a deep JOURNALISTS risk your self- opinion, is the role of the Student knowledge of music trivia to be able esteem and review something that's to describe 'An Epileptic Jellybean' going to get into the top 20 album RELUCTANT SALE as being the best thing since chart every now and again, 'ey? Citroen 2CV Dolly, Red/White, E Reg 1988, 33,000 miles, 'Wibble', but for the most of us, the Yours sincerely, Full service history near immaculate condition, review's irrelevance is obviously Martin Godet, Civ Eng 2. 11 month MOT £2,000 compounded when we know neither phone 081-568 3096

^3 Art civ*." |^t/s IH

Page 4 Opinion Felix 967 21 May 1993

Mary's give each other very little wanker. thought. But there seems, Apart from the above gripes, I Mary's madness unfortunately, to be a small hard- don't regret coming here at all. I core group of sad mothers at both have met some really sound people Dear Jonty, I have been here. The first of these sites that are pre-occupied with each at IC (and not one trainspotter, Being in my final year, I now are the IC students that do nothing other. An example of such an although I'm still looking), and have only a few weeks remaining but slag the college off at every obsessed individual is 'Moron' count myself extremely fortunate in as a student here. As the end of term opportunity. Fair enough, I can (Letters page last issue). One word having the best group of friends that nears, I find myself reflecting on understand why some people don't of advice; please get a life, whoever anyone could wish for—I don't my years spent at Imperial College. like it here. But I wish that these you are. That goes for all those who know how you've put up with me I must say that although it hasn't people would do something positive have in the past, and no doubt will for all these years!! Thanks a lot for been a bed of roses every minute, and take charge of their lives. In in the future, perpetuate the myth everything. I'll really miss you all, overall I've really enjoyed being short, if you don't like it here of an IC—St Mary's feud. In his and Imperial when I leave. here. At times the work was simply LEAVE and leave it to those of us letter, 'Moron' accused all Imperial Yours beyond a joke, and I wouldn't wish that do. students of self-abuse. I take it from Kaveh Guilanpour, Biochem 3. the stress of final exams on my The second thing that really gets last week's letter that 'Moron' P.S. Yes, I know that you're all worst enemy. But I think that the up my nose is the whole business happens to be at Mary's (I feel sorry just pretending and that I don't have academic pressure made me enjoy with St Mary's. It's a situation that for my friends there), and as such any friends really! my free time all the more, ensuring I still don't really understand, even is an IC student. I really do admire P.P.S. I apologise for the that I've had some really good after being here for four years. I him for coming out into the open. excessive bad language used in this times. think that I would be correct in I mean, to be a wanker and call letter, and pray that my mother There are, however, two things saying that the vast majority of IC yourself one in print. Just goes to doesn't see it! that have really pissed me off while students at South Kensington and show, once a wanker, always a

David Gurney to live in bernard This College has a considerable Gav's not paying Sunley for a year without paying a amount going for it and it certainly penny in rent, then I don't think would appear to be the case that the Dear Jonty, proposed to be demolished, which you'd be particularly inclined to best staff are recruited for research Having received a number of incidentally has already had all the either. work. It would perhaps be wise to invitations to donate my wealth to protective fencing demolished by Thirdly, if your will was spent on consider implementing the same College when I get run over by a HGV lorries? a 486 PC Clone and Fax machine policy for the kind of staff that allow bus, I would like to illustrate three Secondly, if your will was spent for the security front gate because the above to happen. I might then good reasons as to why I will not on bailing out College some department had to 'get rid' of be inclined to reconsider my be altering my will. accommodation not because they'd some money in an attempt to get an decision. Firsdy, would you donate money done something like buy Clayponds even bigger budget next year would Yours sincerely, to an organisations that is planting (an honourable cause) but instead you be impressed? I doubt it very Gavin J R Pearson, Mech Eng 3. flower beds next to a building pay for a 1st year Chemist called much. Crossword by Sphinx

ACROSS DOWN I. Roll ball after a plentiful 2. Premium due for showing supply (9) good in France and America (5) 8. Have second thoughts about 3. Require the French pin (6) the by-pass operation? (6,2,5) 4. Uphold a key company (6) II. So as I came to grief in the 5. Mediocre team included in desert (5) Greece (5) 12. The English write chit 6. I hope shy party characters differently as a matter of get the right treatment (13) principle (5) 7. You dig, man? (13) 13. Conditions of spells (5) 9. Decreases the size of 16. However strong, it contains documents (9) Hydrogen (6) 10. Shaping the awkward cuts in 17. Distress over gold trade (6) LPG (9) 18. Surpass, say, Extra Large 13. Greek character offers thanks after article (5) (5) 14. Athlete is excellent in the 19. Horrified to find silver break (5) possesses tritium (6) 15. They're executed alone 20. Release from the rent? (6) however you look at them (5) 21. Races organised over large 22. As ordered, chews a nut (6) areas (5) 24. Rotates and goes (5) 23. Develop the inside of a 26. Heathen put silver in the revolver (6) ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK'S dish (5) 25. However calm (5) ACROSS 1. Abundance, 8. Change of Heart, 11. Oasis, 12. Ethic, 27. Being alert, you grasp right 26. Group of people in 13. Terms, 16. Though, 17. Ordeal, 18. Excel, 19. Aghast, 20. lines somewhere inside (13) revolutionary Nepal (5) Outiet, 21. Acres, 24. Turns, 26. Pagan, 27. Sprightliness, 28. 28. Smooth operators who are Flywheels. DOWN 2. Bonus, 3. Needle, 4. Affirm, 5. Crete, 6. into engines? (9) Physiotherapy, 7. Archaeologist, 9. Contracts, 10. Sculpting, 13. Theta, 14. Racer, 15. Solos, 22. Cashew, 23. Evolve, 25. Still, 26. Panel.

Page 5 Union 21 May 1993 Felix 967 Time for change

The Union faces another upheaval with the publication of the report into the Union Structure. Steven Newhouse reports on why 55 into 13 doesn't go.

Over the last two weeks, Felix has Meeting (UGM) that had been held Imperial College Union, and it been covering the results of the on a monthly basis was changed to should be our primary goal to working party into the Union a termly basis. This forced Council satisfy these aims and our ICU BY-LAWS Structure. The main result seems to into becoming a policy making organisation should reflect it. These The Imperial College Union by- be the removal of the present 55 body which it was not designed to aims can be interpreted into three laws state, the purpose of ICU is person Council and the Executive be. areas of the Union's work: social a) the promotion of student committee, and its replacement with The proposed changes will force events, clubs and societies, and intercourse between present and a new 13 person Executive. the new Executive into making representation within College. past students and academic staff At the moment, Council consists policies, since UGMs will still be The representation of the students of the College. of all the Sabbaticals, the held termly, but it will be even less within the College organisation is b) the encouragement of interest Departmental Representatives, representative than Council is at the carried out by Departmental by the students in matters outside Constituent College Union (CCU) moment. Representatives, Academic Affairs the College curriculum, especially Presidents and the Majojr and Minor So having thrown cold water on Officers, Housing and Welfare cultural and athletic interests. Sub Committee chairmen. The new the report from the working party, officers. c) the provision of a corporate Executive would consist of the three do I have any suggestions? The management of the clubs and body of students to represent, Union Office Sabbaticals and One of the working party's societies is a task that is at present safeguard and advance the officers from the representation conclusions was that Council is too carried out by the Major Sub interests and welfare of the areas. However, this smaller body large to be an effective decision Committee chairman. The Minor students of the College. would have the same mandate as the making body. It is too large to make Sub Committee chairman directly current Council and Executive, to effective decisions, but not organises events that are open to all manage the affairs of the Union. representative enough for the policy students. decisions about the internal working Two years ago there was a major decisions that it makes at the I would propose that the present of the Union would be made faster change in how the Union represents moment. Council is reduced in size and be as many subsiduary committees the students. The Union General In the box there are the aims of concerned only with the effective would no longer be needed. The running of the Union. Its policy Union General Meeting, which making powers would be limited to would be held at least once a month this area, but it could formulate and during term time, would become recommended policy to a UGM. the policy making body of Imperial The other officers who represent the College Union placing the students HAIRDRESSERS students' views on College firmly in control of their union. committees would report directiy to 15A HARRINGTON ROAD, Under my proposals, Imperial a UGM. Any Union policy that was students would make the decisions SOUTH KENSINGTON needed in these areas could then be about students at Imperial. 071-823 8968 discussed and voted upon by the Decisions would be made at the student body. UGM, open to all students, and not We have a fantastic offer for all you As a result of these changes the behind locked doors. students, a cut wash and blowdry by our top stylist (which normally costs around £21) For only £11 Men £12 Women Careers info to the Careers Office and try Check us out! Vacancies—don't worry if you PROSPECT—our computer careers were too late to apply for the Milk guidance system. Round, we are writing to 1500 Careers Seminars are being held employers asking for details of their each Wednesday afternoon from remaining vacancies and you should 2.00-4.00pm. Topics include apply in May or June at the latest. Creative Job Hunting, Interview Ask to see the Vacancy File in the Technique and Career Planning for Careers Office. Penultimate Years. Sign up in the Careers Talk for Penultimate Careers Office. Years—there is one Careers Talk For further information come to this week in CR317B Sherfield at the Careers Office, Room 310 1.00pm to 1.50pm. No booking is Sherfield—open from 10.00am to necessary, just turn up. 5.15pm Monday to Friday. A Duty Tuesday 25th May. 'Teaching as Careers Adviser is available for a Career' by Ms Esther Williams of quick queries from 1.00-2.00pm TASC. daily. You can also book a SHORT Penultimate Years—start minking APPOINTMENT of 15 minutes about your future now. If you don't between 2.00 and 4.00pm on know what you want to do, come Tuesdays and Thursdays. R ag Felix 967 21 May 1993 Get on yer bike Coming soon Want to win a mountain bike? Read for the lazier people. Sounds like a Now the new committee has been know where that is, try the East on! Oxfam are holding a sponsored civilized form of torture to me, but elected, the Rag Fete has happened staircase off Beit quad.) cycle ride on Saturday June 26th, anyone who feels like a little (in a big way!), and exams are Alternatively, you can pop into the between Chislehurst (that's near exercise for a good cause can get looming even for the biologists, the Rag Office itself, or come to one of Bromley), and Aylesford. The more details either by contacting Rag Year is beginning to wind the weekly meetings (1.10pm, round trip is 63 miles, but the less Mike Chamberlain via the Rag down. The usual round of concerts, Fridays in the Ents Lounge), or ambitious among us can opt to do Office, or direct by calling Oxfam collections and football matches will failing all of these, leave a message one leg only - either on 071 585 0220 (speak to Jim). continue, and details of any you in the Rag pigeon hole in the Union London/Aylesford (35 miles) or Registration is only £3 for students, might hear of can normally be Office. So, no excuses for not t'other way (28 miles). Transport so no pleas of poverty, please! found on the Rag Noticeboard (half knowing all about forthcoming back to London has been arranged way up the stairs on the way to the events! Charity chaos Rag Office - for those that don't At last week's Rag meeting, a themselves a licence or are more FREE number of charities were voted in difficult to collect for (would you as next year's 'nominated charities'. give money to a charity you'd never But what does being a nominated heard of?), as well as collecting for charity actually mean? It seems as large charities like Mencap and FLIGHTS if a few people may have been Oxfam. All the charities elected for under the impression that Rag only next year are big and well- known John Grooms Flag Day, on June chance of raising the required collects for the charities it elects - this may be because these are the 5th, is the perfect opportunity for amount. So what are you waiting every year. This is not the case at charities you lot really want to those of us too poor to afford a for? Start planning your holiday all! Rag generally collects under support, or may be because we holiday this summer. The charity, now! Destinations include Florence any licence it can get it's little paws Raggies didn't explain the which works with and for disabled and Paris for a start - I honestly on, regardless of the charity. Well, difference between nominated people, helping them to live life to can't remember the rest, but they're that's not quite true, we can at least charities, and those we collect on the full, is offering a voucher for a lot more exotic. Alternatively, if afford to choose where and when the street for. So, we are rerunning two free flights to anybody you fancy collecting a bit of dosh, we collect! Nominated charities, on the elections to give you a chance collecting over £130. Rag has opted but can't make it on the 5th of June, the other hand, are given the to say where you really want your to collect in tube stations on the day, then there are twenty tickets to the proceeds from Rag events, such as money to go. The form below lists so that any of you wanting to collect Autoglass Trophy match at the Rag Week profits, plus anything 'small' charities on the left, and can not only do so regardless of the Wembley tomorrow, which is that Rag collects under it's own 'big' ones on the right; bring it weather, but also stand a very good between Port Vale and Stockport. name. This means that Rag has the along to the meeting this Friday, opportunity to give money to and have you say. Tamsin Braisher smaller charities, that can't wangle Rag Internal Affairs Officer

TURNING POINT SPASTICS

ARMS MENCAP

JOHN GROOMS WWF

ONE PARENT FAMILIES CYSTIC FIBROSIS

CONTACT A FAMILY LEUKAEMIA RESEARCH

RAINFOREST FOUNDATION SHELTER

BLISS GUIDE DOGS FOR THE BLIND

INTERMEDIATE TECHNOLOGY RINIB

TUSKFORCE RNLI

SENSE IMPERIAL CANCER

FARA CANCER RESEARCH

BIBIC OXFAM

YOUTH ADVENTURE UNICEF

Page 7 Feature 21 May 1993 Felix 967 Going Up ? A Collegewide survey of elevators conducted by Harry Estleun

(3rd cousin, twice removed of Mario De Malevolant, half-brother of Donny 'O Nonchalent)

Lift appreciation you might think, will admit to it. The experience can numbness in my upper legs and experiences you have, please notify is down there with train spotting. produce a variety of effects: surrounding area for the duration of me (Harry Estleun c/o Donny But you'd be wrong in thinking this. Increase in heart rate, and breathing the ride...' O'Nonchalent, Felix Office, Beit Over the past decade or so, because rate, release of excitatory This guide is for all lift- Quad, Prince Consort Road, SW7 of the advances of lift-technology, hormones, and one woman (going lovers out there, and anyone who 2BB). Give details when making more people enjoy travelling lifts, up 55 floors in an office block) is simply curious as what the best submissions. All Letters will not be although only a small proportion experienced, and I quote: 'a life in college is. Any unusual lift in the strictest of confidence.

Chemistry/BioChemistry Mechanical Eng These shake uncontrollably; was I in a lift or a giant Four to choose from! That's right, four. All of these lifts [V] cocktail shaker? The panels are crude, the lighting is not are massive and with good lighting. The panel is a similar as bright as it should be and they are relatively small. style to that of the Sherfield lifts. But there is a down side. But they have mirrors on the back wall! Could be better. They are slow; slow to take you up and down and also slow for the doors to close. The doors are also extremely, Computing but not completely, unresponsive to anything that touches wo mese HEZJB^J ^ °^ m^ me Panels are shit! Really shit! I hate their edges once they have started to close. I would have them! They are big though, have good lighting and are liked to rate it higher, but alas I can't. quite quick. They have a distinctive quality unmatched by any other lift I tested, a quality that may appeal to some Physics people: they smell of rubber. It's unmistakeable. The Choice of two in Physics both identical. Each has a |^/]|V'|[VJ[V'| moment the doors close, it hits you; the waft of rubber. mirror on the back face which I thought was quite kinky The combination of this and the mild shaking of the lifts, Coupled with the satiny lighting effects this turned out jV||y]|V'j provides what might be for some, the ultimate turn on. to be an enjoyable ride. But it was all over to quickly! What have the Physicists done to these lifts? They have Biology (East Wing) bloody turbo charge! Travelling 8 floors takes as quickly j^/j Don't ask how I got past the security system! This one as travelling 2 floors in Biology. This is good for getting isn't much of an improvement when compared to the to lectures quickly (why anyone would want to do this Union lift. It's clean (apart from the illegible signature is a question that has puzzled me for hours), but bad for on one side) and the button panel is relatively idiot proof. appreciating the lifts. They also have a high tech level But there is hardly enough room to swing a genetically indicator and posh panels to boot. Also, like the engineered dwarfed gerbil in here, and it's so slow. Come Aeronautics/Chem Eng lift, they have no smell. But unlike Biology Dept., you can do better. it, the doors close in the blink of an eye; a bit of a danger Biology (West Wing) for slow coaches. This has to be the best. 1 like me yuPPie flat stvle sliding door but the dirty look I got from Postgrad's who suspected that I was an Electrical Eng Undergrad put me off this lift. Sorry, this one gets a lousy A twin set of lifts with mirrors that shake quite violently ^[y^l^/j rating (blame the Postgrad's). when reaching the top floor; electrical engineers are kinky devils, aren't they! These are quick, clean, but not that Sherfield well lit, mind. They have a clompy style decor which is I^H^1 ^ Choice of two again. These lifts are spacious, clean, well stomach churning. Nice overhead panel and they were lit and quite quick. But the 'carpet' is really horrible: It very silent when going down. A good pair. is! A gross pattern that is hopefully no longer available, worn down and slightly darker towards the centre. The Union Building panel is almost out of date, the display is basic but it has This sad excuse of a lift is small, dirty, slow, smells ,7^||?^|[^||^ a guide as to what on's each floor, useful for infrequent characteristically of uncleaned public toilets and has barely ~ users. Better than some by far. enough light for you to see the green splodge of graffiti that is spread across two sides, (I think it could be the Civil Eng product of a hay fever sufferer, but I wasn't prepared to SISIKIIE] These pair of lifts are small-ish, badly lit and have no examine it). The only sensation I got was a sudden desire apparent floor indicator (may be I was looking in the to empty my stomach. Avoid at all costs. (But praise the wrong place). This was catered for blind people I think: lord because Andrew Wensley has promised (in his they have poor light (why would blind people need light) manifesto) to make the Union a nicer place to work. Let's and BIG buttons. If my memory serves me correctly, hope he starts with the lift). they do have mirrors on the back wall though (I'm not certain, be warned). Not my favourite but not the worst. Aeronautics/Chem Eng This was bigger than the Biology lifts and a hell of a lot V -/ Geology/Materials cleaner, but strangely enough, it had no smell. No urine, X ~X Crude, quite quick, shite panel and gross colours, 'nuf no polish, nothing was detected by my nose. It was said. quicker than the Biology lifts and the buttons were straightforward. Not a bad lift.

Thanks to Cub, the student newspaper/magazine of Queen Mary & Westfield, for the idea of this feature.

Page 8 Faith in Doubt

Attempting to answer his own questions, Geoff Maxwell justifies faith in religion.

As a Christian I was recently asked by a friend how I could justify the harm that is done inthe name of religion. Whatever one believes, is it possible to ignore the weight of evidence that connects religious belief with cultural violence? Most religions share ethical principles that would seem to preclude violence as a solution to any problem, yet historical evidence to the contrary is abundant. Before answering the question, I think it is necessary to define the basis of religion. What such definition could hope to be acceptable to all faiths and even all men? Such a complex question demands a simple answer. I proposed to this friend that there is an intrinsic human quality that is the root of any belief. I asked this friend, an agnostic, why one should follow the moral codes of society. Do we resist stealing because, however great the gain and however small the punishment society threatens, we believe it is wrong. Do we believe in a human conscience, or are we restrained only by the fear of retribution. In summary is there accumulation of believers into a followers understand that our or that they have absolute goodness in every man and are congregation brings with it the conception of God may be knowledge of their own god, a humans able to distinguish right amplification of human failure. It is misconceived and that the beliefs, dangerous fool. from wrong. a small step to exchange these or lack of such, held by other men If we are able to retain this If one believes that there is good simple ideals of religion for should not ever be held against perspective on our beliefs there is in every man, what can one call the absolute confidence in the rules of them. no cause for religion to be a source combination of those consciences? one particular creed. When such a It need not be said that some of pain in the world. That is not to Here we must diverge, different step is made, when one can no denominations and sections of say that disasters will not happen, religions accumulating legend, longer lend respect to the view of certain religions have pursued the that men will not kill each other, history and circumstance to give another man, then one finds oneself opposing path - seeking to establish- that brother will not hate brother, their particular creed. placed as his enemy. that their particular interpretation oi but only that religion will become The difficulty we now face is how The one certainty of belief is that their own belief is absolute and what it has always claimed to be. to square such ideals with the reality one cannot know of the existence of pursuing relentlessly all those who Thomas Story, an eighteenth of destruction in the name of belief. a god but can only believe in it. The opposed them. It seems to me that century Quaker, said of the How does the apparent beauty of main stream religions stand together it is herein that the evil of religion Christian faith, 'The unity of the human conscience become the in their recognition of gods as lies and it is an evil that is certainly Christians never did nor ever will bloody sword of fanatics? beyond man's knowledge. We can not necessary. or can stand in uniformity of Discussing such ideas I have found believe what we may, but when we I find it a pity that even here at thought or opinion, but in Christian that many atheists and agnostics can believe that we know evetylhing we Imperial, a centre of excellence in love only.' Communication believe in human conscience, yet presume to place ourselves amongst learning and scholarship, that so amongst all men, particularly those most believers, of whatever creed, the gods. few people can distinguish between with sincere beliefs is important but cannot accept conscience as the The wrong that has been done in that which we know and that which should rest on that mutual respect fundamental basis of religion. the past, and continues to be done we believe. I can respect any man and tolerance that embodies the I find it challenging to take one today, in the name of religion, runs who says that, given their regard we should all hold for each further step. What is god, or are counter to our consciences. This perception of the evidence for the other. gods, if they are not that part of danger must be held up before all existence of any particular god, they My final appeal is to each man - good in every man? This too is, those who participate in religion as cannot find it in their hearts to consider carefully what you are surprisingly, better suited to the a warning of what might occur. The believe in such a god. I am however doing when you scorn, verbally or agnostic than the believer. leaders of religion have, I believe, happy to label any man who says physically, the beliefs of another. Like all institutions the an obligation to ensure that their they know that no such god exists, Are you in any position to judge?

Page 9 Feature 21 May 1993 Felix 967

Between a rock and a hard place As London's quirky est cinema totters from one disaster to another, Jonty Beavan asks, how did the Scala get into so much trouble?

The Scala cinema club in King's Cross looks like it has fallen off the set of a strangely inverted horror movie: It stands tall, white and Art Decor, like the home of an unusually benevolent Boris Karloff, in the wasteland of rotting buildings that surround North East London's main railway stations. I approached the building, pushed open the flimsy glass doors and announced myself to the suspicious wraith behind the desk. Pausing for a moment he picked up a phone and described me to my waiting interviewee as: 'Another one to see Helen'. He then directed me to the top of the building: 'Keep going up and it's on the left'. Quite how far up I didn't realise, stopping in the foyer of the actual cinema to regain my sense of direction, I notice a change. My kindly, but unseen vampiric host had been overcome with a bout of psychedelia. The foyer wall swirled with primary colours, symbols of the illuminati and whirlpools of light. Pausing only for a moment longer to adjust back to reality, I Since 1981 the Scala's home has Sandra Bernhardt and Derek showing of Stanley Kubrick's 'The climbed further up the dingy marble been King's Cross. This most Jarman have made personal Clockwork Orange' about seventy stairwell. peculiar of film clubs moved here appearances and Jean Genet films people attended. Twenty five years Eventually the stairs ran out and after the lease on its Tottenham are a regular feature. Other ago, Kubrick banned his creation a cat guarded the only doorway. Street cinema, which it had favourites for the Scala bill are; because fans of the film copied the Slightly relieved that the animal was occupied since the early fifties, ran Hong Kong movies, Exploitation, thugglsh behaviour of the main not in any way black, I crouched out. The Landlord of that place felt Art films and, of course, horror. character. The then programme down and tried to make friends with that he would get a better deal We get lots of gore hounds here, manager of the Scala, Jane Gyles it. This was the source of some renting to an up and coming TV commented Helen; I shuffled was aware of the ban, but did not confusion to the people sitting station called Channel 4. The Scala uncomfortably, being rather fond of know that the full power of the law within the room. They had expected building had always been a cinema the odd bloodthirsty stretch of would enforce it. After the that they were to be interviewed, since the 1920's. Now the Circle is celuloid. showing, a prosecution was brought not their pets. the Scala club with the Stalls Other delights that the Scala against the Scala by the Federation After making a rather hurried and converted into a snooker hall. revels in are the 'all-nighters'. For of Copyright Theft. Warner confused explanation, I was First Helen explained the about £5, an enthusiastic moviegoer Brothers, the owners of the introduced to Helen De Witte and principle behind the Club. Her can watch a selection of up to five copyright for the Clockwork Alex Fenner, the Programmer and description of the aims of the Scala films through the night. Along with Orange, added to the sense of General Manager of the Scala Club. were, to show 'art or marginal' this, seasons of the less well known goodwill by blocking the Scala from Helen was plump, had short, tinted films, but did not fully explaining directors are shown. This also using any of the other films under hair and did all the talking. Alex what that meant. Distinct from makes the Scala distinct, it is their licence. stayed quiet, answered the phones many of London's other repertory unafraid to play the films other The court case was resolved this and only showed an interest when cinemas, she classified the audience cinemas would shrink from. In a March: Jane Gyles was given a one we discussed the history and as 'fans'. People would come from world dominated by big budget year suspended sentence, the structure of the cinema. Much to all over London to see a film at the Hollywood films, the Scala displays cinema was fined £1000 for my disappointment their office had Scala, she stated. It is not like the an alternative lifestyle that is infringement of copyright, but the a relaxed, cluttered appeal, with Electric (another cinema in Notting refreshing, if only because it is costs of the case were £10,000. All cats wandering in and out at Hill) where the audience is local, different. these fines have to be meet by the random. Nothing could be further the people here are working class Being radical and risque has cinema. Needless to say Jane Gyles from the imagined shadowy and we don't really concern them. almost been the downfall of the film is no longer employed as chambers of a sinister monster. I The Scala has a reputation for a house. April 1st 1992 the Scala Programmer for the Scala. felt cheated. showing the gay and lesbian films. cinema played an unadvertised If that were not enough, the

Page 10 'eature Felix 967 21 May 1993

council is reconsidering awarding lease on the building is putting the an events licence, due to an alleged rent up threefold. Things are Travelling abuse of Fire Regulations. This beginning to look miserable for the time the entrance to a New Year's Scala. Eve party in the Scala was locked Why has the local council been The Mind! and manned. According to fire so stringent on the Cinema? Helen inspectors, who dropped in for a has strong opinions on this question: CTS TRAVEL...Reduces the Cost! surprise visit during the party, this She believes the plans to put the constitutes blocking a fire exit. To Channel tunnel rail-link at Kings the Scala it stops them putting on Cross means an end to the whole NORTH AMERICA EUROPE LONG HAUL their most profitable 'multimedia area. The plans show the rail-link 071-323 5180 071-637 5601 071-323 5130 events', fashion shows and parties. going straight across the site where The chances of raising the money the Scala now stands. They are to repay the 'The Clockwork going to do the same thing as in AMSTERDAM 44 79 AUKLAND Orange' action now come solely Docklands, run it down, so when MEXICO m 359 657 from the 'Save the Scala fund', set the developers buy it up it will be BOSTON '1 .97.192 1Q8 219 BANGKOK 199 399 up when legal case was first a blessing, she commented. CHICAGO ^ 239 439 pending. But all the same, fund raising DALLAS r 202 398 Helen argues that the door had to continues. It is posible to buy MP be locked, due to the residual oranges in the Scala foyer for £1, LOS ANGELES -- 205 329 problems of the Kings Cross area. most of the profits go to the Save MIAMI m-m 267 469 We've always had prostitutes, but the Scala fund, 'Droog in the Dock' NEW YORK ' 93 186 264 473 the drug dealers have become a real T shirts are available and the Scala problem, she continued. Drug Orange Ball takes place next ORLANDO 118 235 206 379 dealing at the entrance to the cinema Thursday 27th May. The Orange SAN FRANCISCO^ 124 247 PARIS-*" 3B' 69-WG* 284 547 is a regular event. Staff try and get Ball will include a fashion show, TORONTO V\ 122 226 1(0ME\\ 62 120 SINGAPORE 231 435 those involved to move on without Celebrity compere and what is . \ \ \ resorting to the police, but there is described as a 'non-stop party'. Due VANCOUVER TEL AVIV 99 169 SYDNEY 334 661 .171 318 little success. Occasionally violence to the previously mentioned ban, WASHINGTON^ VIENNA 63N12VTQKYOXv 265 489 spills over from the street: In one the event will be held in Cafe de ; 93 186S case the victim of a chase ran up Paris, Coventry St, Wl. Tickets \ into the foyer of the cinema only to have to be bought in advance and ROUND THE WORLD be caught there, when a Scala cost £15. And if you want to know, £799 patron tried to step in and help, the Scala Cinema club is about 5 injuries occurred. If this were not mins walk from Kings Cross tube 44 Goodge SHeet'"' enough the Landlord who owns the at 275-277 Pentonville Road. fc220|tinsiiripon High St. London WIFIAD* *" t% LoldonW8 7RA e GOODGE STREET eHIGH STREET KENSINGTON IATA licensed

Page 11 'eature 21 May 1993 Felix 967 The Oppression of Tibet During his much publicised visit to the UK, the Dalai Lama made a plea for an end to the torture and mass murder in Tibet. Sonia Shah reports on a refreshingly open and honest man.

of China. The invasion of Tibet was political prisoners are held in Chinese to move to Tibet by an act of aggression and violation prisons and labour camps. Tibetan offering incentives. Last week I was honoured to meet of international law and human women are subjected to mandatory The Chinese have caused a most extraordinary man - Tenzin rights, yet pleas for help to several sterilisation and forced abortion. destruction of Tibet's natural Gyatso, His Holiness the fourteenth leading nations of the world, and to Prisoners are subjected to various resources and widespread Dalai Lama of Tibet, Tibet's political and spiritual leader. The Dalai Lama's unique nobility is conferred on him by virtue of his being a manifestation of the Boddhisattva of Compassion, who chose rebirth to serve humanity; the present Dalai Lama regards himself as a 'simple Buddhist Monk'. This enlightened man was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 for his non-violent struggle for the liberation of Tibet - a tremendous feat in light of the great Chinese aggression. In his trip to Britain, he has not only met with the Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd, the Archbishop of Canterbury, and National and European Members of Parliament, but has also given a series of lectures on how to live 1'fe with wisdom and compassion; this man is truly an inspiration to everyone who hears him, or reads his writings.

Since 1950, 1.2 the United Nations, were rejected. forms of torture including being environmental devastation. In 1954, on an official visit to suspended from their prison ceiling, I would like to describe my million Tibetans, China, meetings with Mao Tse-tung electrocution, beatings with cattle meeting with the Dalai Lama at a and political authorities uncovered prods, and interrogation at gun press conference in London. On 1/5 of the the contradictions of political life in entering the room, he did not go China. Communism in China is straight to his seat, but instead population, have strongly anti-religious, while 'Action did not warmly greeted members of the Tibet's whole culture and way of press. As he sat down, one died as a result life is centred on Buddhism. The seem profitable', immediately felt his sheer Chinese Government has never captivating presence and calmness. of the Chinese attempted to understand the Tibetan said a British During the press conference the occupation. people, or their culture. Official. Dalai Lama showed tremendous In 1959, during the national insight and a friendly sense of The Dalai Lama was born on 6 uprising of the Tibetan people point - for expressing their beliefs. humour. The Dalai Lama is not July 1935, in the small village of against Chinese occupation, the Today, over 120,000 Tibetans some distant religious figure, but is Taktser in North-Eastern Tibet. At Dalai Lama was forced into exile. are living in exile. a human being who bases his life the age of two, this son of a peasant Since then he has been living in China forbids the teaching of on compassion, peace, altruism and family was hailed as the Dharamsala, India, seat of the Buddhism - a facade of religious kindness. He is refreshingly open reincarnation of each of the Tibetan Government-in-exile. freedom has been initiated for the and honest and puts up none of the previous thirteen Dalai Lamas of Tibetan people everywhere in the purposes of propaganda and barriers so common of other Tibet. He began his monastic world, believe their Government- tourism. Chinese 'population political leaders. education at the age of six, during in-exile to be the sole legitimate transfer' is being encouraged, The Dalai Lama made it clear for which time in 1950 he was forced Government of Tibet. making Tibetans a minority in their the first time that the option of to assume complete political power Since 1950, 1.2 million Tibetans, own country- 7.5 million Chinese independence for Tibet has been when China invaded Tibet. Tibet 1/5 of the population, have died as compared with 6 million Tibetans foreclosed and said that he wants to found itself in a helpless situation, a result of the Chinese occupation. in Tibet. The Chinese authorities discuss a 'one country, two overpowered by the military force Thousands of religious and actively encourage large numbers of systems' approach, similar to that

Page 12 'eature Felix 967 21 May 1993

of Hong Kong and Taiwan with China. This shift in attitude comes from the urgent situation concerning human rights violations, Chinese 'population transfer', increasing environmental damage and most importantly the 'intentional of unintentional cultural genocide'. A major concern is to save Tibet's unique culture. Deng Xiaoping, China's leader, is now willing to discuss anything except complete independence, so with both sides willing to accept a 'one country, two systems' approach, talks look promising. However, the success depends upon China's final interpretation of this approach. On the question of full independence the Dalai Lama says that 'ultimately the Tibetan people have the right to decide'. In the meeting with Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary told the Dalai Lama that he would speak out his concern over human rights and Chinese 'population transfer' into Tibet. After many years of indifference, this would seem to indicate the British Government adopting a more favourable position Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama in Britain last week. - in the past Britain has been although 'China are very eager to likely to be imposed. I would like to end with a few reluctant to upset the Chinese join the mainstream of the world It is imperative to remember that words from the Dalai Lama's Nobel because of Hong Kong. Douglas community in the economic field, we are not only talking of justice, Peace Prize acceptance speech, Hurd also voiced his support for this is not sufficient; democracy and human rights and equality, but of 'The problems we face today, Tibetan talks with China 'without freedom are even more important a people entitled to their country. violent conflicts, destruction of and therefore the world community nature, poverty, hunger and so on, have a moral and practical are human-created problems which Tibetan women responsibility. It is important that The Chinese can be resolved through human China is brought into the effect, understanding, and the are subjected to mainstream of democracy and in have caused development of a sense of order to develop democracy more brotherhood and sisterhood. We mandatory quickly pressure is needed mainly destruction of need to cultivate a universal sterilisation and in the economic field'. Tibet's natural responsibility for one another and The Dalai Lama visited the planet we share. Although I forced abortion. Washington last month, and resources. have found my own Buddhist engaged in talks concerning religion helpful in generating love pre-conditions'. 'population transfer' and China's Tibet has no oil, but it has its own and compassion, even for those we consider our enemies, I am The Tibetan leader said that he 'Most Favoured Nation' status with culture; language, beliefs and convinced that everyone can supports a boycott of Chinese goods the US, which is up for renewal in customs. It is a nation in its own develop a good heart and a sense under certain conditions, because June. Conditions on China are right and as such its people have the right to their freedom just as we are of universal responsibility with or free to practice our cultures. without religion'. With these words in mind I urge you to please give When finally, nine years after the your support. invasion, the United Nations passed a resolution criticising the denial of human rights in Tibet, Britain refused to give its support because If you would like to support 'Action on a political side did not Tibet, write with an S.A.E., seem profitable' (British Official at to:- the UN). Tibet Foundation, 10 Bloomsbury Way, Britain's stand has since changed London a little - this is due to the continuing WC1A 2SH effort of the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan organisations, those who If you would like to sponsor a support Tibet and those who are boycott of Chinese goods, willing to make a stand; those who write (with S.A.E.) to:- will pressurise their Government Boycott China, and those who write to the MPs. c/o The Fourth World This pressure must continue. Movement, 20 Heber Road, It would certainly be naive to London assume that you or I could change NW2 6AA the world, but together we could make a difference.

Page 13 Clubs & Societies 21 May 1993 Felix 967

How Our Wet Dreams Came 'rue

We stayed on a caravan sight on the impressions and a good go at a shells! Pete brought up a few rusted a really eerie experience swimming cliffs at St Keverne, (just around the beached whale from Scott and that lumps of metal, that Steve through the darkness, with fish corner from the bay featured in the was it, our first dive. We dived the proceeded to chuck back in the suddenly racing across your torch new BT ad) and dived out of same beach in the afternoon and water. beam. After about three quarters of Falmouth. then retired for lots of the second The afternoon's entertainment an hour of this, I started to get cold At the start of each day we met activity of a dive holiday—drinking. was the Falmouth subs. No and we headed back for shore. This up for dive briefing. Simon, our The second day gave us a chance problem, Um, lots of kelp and a few was a bad move, as it was even Dive Officer (or mum to us) gave to use our new boat, a bright orange broken up submarines, but a huge colder out of the water! us the run down for the day. This rigid inflatable (see picture). We swell! The fish had a good feed On our last night in Cornwall, we included the bad news (normally the hired Steve, the owner of the local from some very green looking had our trip piss up and a chance weather), the good news that we dive shop to take us out on his new novices. When our stomachs had to sum up the week's diving. The were actually going diving and a big blue rib, with CPS, echo stopped heaving, we retired to the major shock was the 'cleavage of reminder of the trip motto, 'be safe sounder and any other electronic pub for more beer. the trip' award not going to Pete and sensitive'. Our first taste of gadget you can buy (to be wired for As the week progressed, we after a tough challenge by Ian. The open water diving, (and salt water) sound as well for next year). After dived, drank and drove the marine 'cutest buddy pair' went to Gary was round the next bay at flying over the waves for half an wildlife round the bend. Steve's and Sheena, for holding hands Porthouslock. Kitting-up was no hour, Steve looked around, stopped continued to find any wrecks we under water and having matching problem, but getting into the water, the boat and threw over the shot- wanted to by instinct and not drysuits. Scott, one of this year's well! After staggering around in the line. 'Straight down, you should instrument. One of the highlights new novice divers won the 'most surf like drunk penguins, we finally land on her boilers' were his for me was the trip's night dive. dive leader like novice' award for got our heads under water. Wow! confident words, and not one look After a few hours sitting in a checking up on Petes, (one of our It's not at all like the pool—no tiles, at his gadgets. Down into the murky freezing van in a freezing wet suit, most experienced divers) air, and old elastoplasts or hair bands. After depth we plunged, and out of the the sun finally set and we could get then refusing to go home when told. floundering around in three meters gloom loomed a huge lump of metal in the water and get it over with. Ian was also unofficially awarded getting sorted out, we set off for a that made up the Volnay's boiler. Why you would want to dive at 'trip back seat driver' for telling good mooch. This involves Now that's what I call navigation! night is not that obvious, after all Holf and Steve how to drive a boat, rummaging around in the kelp and This was it, real diving and no kelp, it's cold and dark enough during the and then cowering in the bottom of molesting any crustacean or fish but I did find an elastoplast. The day! At night, a lot of the marine the boat when it got a bit rough. stupid enough to get caught. Far too Volnay was a first world war life comes out to eat, and on this In all an excellent week's diving. soon, the pressure gauges hit 50bar ammunition ship, and mum's night have 400 watt dive torches If you fancy a go, meet us down the and we had to go back to dry land, instructions for the dive were 'if it's shined in their faces by divers. We union bar on Tuesday evening, or and the next major obstacle, getting live, it's got to be legal, if it's dead found two dead dogfish, and a see us next year at the Freshers' out! Some more penguin it's got to be dead', i.e. no live swarm of swimming crabs. It was Fair. ATTENTION ASTHMA The Bodyguard AND HAY FEVER

Kevin Costner is back at FilmSoc SUFFERERS. this week in The Bodyguard, of the soundtrack has been through playing Frank Farmer, a topnotch the charts...a couple of number professional bodyguard—maybe the ones including the record-breaking best. His latest client is Rachel hit J Will Always Love You. If you The Clinical Studies Unit at the Royal Brompton Hospital is conducting a Marron, pop superstar-turned- haven't seen the film but the songs series of clinical trials to evaluate new treatments for asthma and hay fever actress, played by Whitney have been driving you wild over the Houston, who has successfully last five months, now is your moved in real life from pop chance to find out what they all megastar to talented actress. mean. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING IN THESE Rachel's fabulous career just seems Remember we show in the to spiral upward without end, and cinematic splendour of the Concert IMPORTANT STUDIES PLEASE CONTACT: with it comes the usual trappings of Hall, two floors above Da Vinci's success—a manager, a publicist, a bar, and believe it or not, our screen SARAH AIKMAN horde of hangers-on and one that's is bigger than many at local much more sinister. An obsessive cinemas, and we're a lot cheaper at 071 351 8971 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday fan writes her crazy letters and only £1.90 (90p for members). The breaks into her bedroom, so it's reels will be turning for The 071 351 8976 24 hour answering machine. time for the flamboyant diva to get Bodyguard at precisely 7.30pm next (Please leave your name, contact phone number, time and date.) herself some serious protection— Thursday. The following week we and Frank Farmer is the best. Both have Under Siege, and following Frank and Rachel expect to be in the success of last night's charge...what they don't expect is Budweiser competition, we have All trials are approved by the Eihies Committee to fall in love... lots of Under Siege sweatshirts, of the Royal Brompton Hospital Lots of action, plenty of drama, caps, and torches to give away courtesy of our friends at Warner romantic moments.. .everyone will Expenses incurred when participating in clinical trials will be find something in this film. Much Brothers. Don't miss it! reimbursed

Page 14 IMPERIAL COLLEGE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA

Friday 21st May

Brahms Academic Festival Overture Debussy Prelude a Vapres-midi d'une Faune Ravel Piano Concerto Soloist: Steven Tarlton (Chem II) De Falla Three Cornered Hat Britten Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra

Conductor: Richard Dickins

8pm in the Great Hall

Tickets: £4.00 Adults £2.50 Students / £1.50 in advance

Tickets available from orchestra members or the Haldane Library

IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION, PRINCE CONSORT ROAD, LONDON SW7 2BB. TELEPHONE! O7I-589 5III X7282 M US1C 21 May 1993 Felix 967

Kittenbirds —Honey, You're Sick So you can accuse this of being NME 'art school' music, but at a time when is seems hardly any anyone is doing anything that I Gene Loves Jezebel: could fine remotely interesting, this Josephina has to worth a listen. Don't make me laugh. Sounding remarkably constrained at Donny O'Nonchalant the beginning it winds up in a Out now, or nowish, on Arista. crescendo or turmoil that I would Do you think they're sad old have to consider the purchasing of bastards? I dunno. I suppose it some serious safety equipment could be our next vox pop feature... before attending one of their concerts, Gene Loves Jezebel; is hanging too Gene Loves Jezebel: Time to pull the chain good for them? peb

more vicious, betraying their The Milltown Brothers— Parchman: Isolation ancestry a wee bit. Lyrically, we Turn Off Television Personalities— Goodnight Mr Spaceman Tastefully executed technofest in are concerned with a couple of Unfortunate really. The title I the sort of Front 242/MDM A post- rhetorical questions on the mean. I can see so many 'concept 'Oh bloodyhell, I wish I'd signed goth mould, featuring remixes by separateness of ourselves as human reviews' that some people will find to Creation'. This is so apt. If they The Grid. The title track delicately beings. They may not be the first humourous. To be honest, nothing had perhaps there would be some exposes a vocal, a slight and waifish pop artists to have spotted that the seems to have changed for them in remote possiblity that this would get girlsound contributing to what is, human race is anything but a the past two years, which is a shame the somewhere near the attention overall, a smooth and airborne collective being, but full marks to really because the rest of us are deserves. It has an excessively production. I was not previously them anyway, 'cause at least they're older and wiser, energetic feel to is that would familiar with the name Parchman, not patronising me. I dunno about peb makae most people do car-wheels but I arched my eyebrow pencil you, though. acrross the floor. upon discovering their origins lay Donny O'Nonchalant The Naked Truth—Read 'I've taken three e's, I still can't in Easterhouse. Released on 24th May on Between the Lines dance like Bobbie Gallespie'. I The other track, 'Small' is a little Vector/Beggars Banquet Records. Ten inch records are, what's the could quote some other lyrics, but word, economic. No that's then what would be the point in you definitely not right. Ergonomic, I buying the record? But rest assure, think that's right. Unfortunately, the phyrase 'Goodnight Mr. ergonomic can also describe the Spaceman' is liberaly littered toons. 'Hey man, can you spare around the place, some change?' Is this offering peb supposed to change people's attitudes, educate? Your average Prugstory—Alive punter is going to see this as average Being depresive is something that American rock. They may not be this manages from the outset. But Americans, but who cares, it's a then the mental image that is shame really as it's not that bad. If conjured up by Isabel Monteiro's you like that sort of thing. voice (vocals/bass) is not one of a Choc. happy ponytailed freckly kid, with a smile evosticked to her face. More The Cukoos—The Screever the merose and contempletive type The cover depicts cave paintings, a me thinks. This makes the job of farmer, a hunter and the sun. Am passing and crytical comments I supposed to take this seriously? difficult, it is too easy for me to It's modern folk music, complete magionalise her and forget it. This Ugly: Arty or just unfocused with badly sampled tacky sea is something that I don't want to so Ugly? 'I was 37, you were 17'? Ah, noises. Three years ago they had perhaps I should stop now. Ugly: Boom the Future sod it. He always was too cool for about five good toons, where have Peb Glenn Gregory is apparentiy keen words. they gone? Does everybody that to leave Heaven 17 behind him; Donny O'Nonchalant cares about the plant end up hence this release by his latest Out now on EMI. sounding like The Levellers. project, Ugly. It is therefore slightly Choc Sprial Tribe—Forward the Revolution mystifying that he chooses to begin this so soon after both the re- Transcendental Love Mother Earth—Home Your (If this is the cutting edge of techno, releases of 'Fascist Groove Thing', Machine: Dragonfly mania Feeling Better rave, new age rage, call it what you 'Temptation', and their version of E.P. A nice funky one this. The sort of will, I'm a Monkee's Uncle—Ug 'Gimme Shelter' for Putting Our Alarm bells are ringing. They are toon that makes listening to records Og.) House In Order. Believe me, I'm the sound of words like 'the fun. Who needs pretentious, Four tracks that rely upon sincerely puzzled. My tongue revolution has started, and you're 'meaningful' lyrics, if you don't pounding your head with a 150bpm couldn't be further from my cheek. tripping off your face'. Thanks, I know the world's fucked by now bass to hypnotise you. Free parties, 'Boom The Future' is everything say. 'Stick a few A & R men against it's too late to tell you. Get out there what a load of crap. What we need you'd expect it to be; smooth, cool the wall for me, won't you?' Come and enjoy yourself, I certainly will now ain't no new hippies. Love. and ultra- slick, with all four mixes the revolutionary tribunal, I'll be up be. Buy this. Who needs it. RESPECT, that's typically sophisticated elegance. there with them. With Bucks Fizz Ont he flip are two super-funky more like it. Anger, getting better. The chorus features the phrase and Jello Biafra. Shit, dad. You tracks. 'Little Bag O' Sugar' Going to a field and forgetting my 'Brothers and Sisters' -1 ask you. never told me to prepare for this. slightly jazzy, Jonathan E, well worries, the world's worries is the What are we to expect next of Donny O'Nonchalant groovy. last thing on my mind. Out now on Hydrogen Dukebox. Choc Choc

Page 16 Music Felix 967 21 May 1993

Marc Almond: 12 Years of loathing for 'live' albums, I'm sucking cocks either (which is Tears rather taken with this. The almost, curiously, disappointing). If Albums Yeah, alright, this has been out for parisienne threads of decaying you haven't bought this already, it's some time, hasn't it? Sorry, ok? glamour that have permeated his high time you did. Go on. Dig out

Do you read us? Clerical errors and all that. You every recording, from 'Torch' and your velvet, dig out your frilled Do you like us? know how it is. Sometimes you 'Tainted Love', through 'Waifs and shirt. Don't blow the dust off, just If not, why not come in and fucking do better. have a c.d. sitting in your collection Strays', 'Mother Fist' and 'Stories slap on the rouge and scarlet Alternatively, go out and for weeks on end, you know, and of Johnny', up to and beyond lipstick. Fuck off, Morrissey, fuck buy Smash Hits, or Q. you just forget to review it, 'Jacques' and 'Jacky', find their off, Brett. I'm going to dream of probably. I suppose this means home in the orchestrations and the fading movie queens. Wild West-Soundtrack you'll never trust us again, doesn't architecture of the Victorian blob up Donny O'Nonchalant One of the most dubious, money- it? Not that you ever did... the road. This is Gloria Swanson Out now on WEA. Marc Almond spinning wifes of the Music '12 Years of Tears' is a live doing 'Sunset Boulevard' in cabaret is currently touring Siberia, Latvia, Industry is the Film Soundtrack. recording taken from the divine with her face caked in make-up, her Lithuania and other states of the The theory goes, get one glossy Marc's performance at the Royal head full of crystal meth, and her CIS, making it very difficult for you single released and then fdl the rest Albert Hall late last year, and lace costume patterned with sherry to go and see him. You know what of the time up with lacklustre though I have a carefully-nursed stains. And not a mention of. I say? I say 'tough'. instrumentals, which may or may not have been in the actual film. The only other option is to have a film about music so the obligatory concert, jukebox or radio scene can offer an opportunity to play the soundtrack in the actual context of the plot. Think back to the 'Bohemian Rhapsody' in Wayne's World. A scary business. Well, 'Wild West' is thankfully of the latter category. The juxtaposition of an Asian Country and Western band's search for fame and fortune is the vehicle used to include a standard collection of songs from the so-called New Country wave of the mid-80's. Seminal names such as Steve Earle, Nanci Griffith and Dwight Yoakam provide the main firepower. The album itself is an interesting mix of cover and original versions, but really this only highlights the differences between the have and Peter, get your hair cut. Barney, that's a crap shirt. Stephen, do something about your chin. have-nots. In comparing Steve bearing all the legacies of the as far as to say it's 'uplifting'. Earle to Naveen Andrews who New Order: Republic Electronic project, 'Republic' is They've roped in that most covers two songs, it becomes It's been some time since we were obviously New Order (no-one else accessible of producers, too, in the almost embarrassing. The point of here last, hasn't it? If I remember... would dare reproduce Peter Hook's form of Stephen Hague, to add a Country music is the feeling that the Oh yes. 'Technique', right? bass sound), but a New Order with little polish to the product. It's singer has raked around in the dirt 'Finetime'. 'Round and Round'. an obviously lighter touch. A friend probably going to be huge. Even themselves, look at the greats like 1989. And since then, the best reckons they're running out of huger. Patsy Cline and Hank Williams. football record ever made, in spite ideas, and I suppose he's right to an I never doubted that they would be Even if we did know that Steve of the odd drug reference, the ace extent; they are certainly a lot more back. Earle has four Harley-sized Electronic album, and the demise of mellow, but the idea of New Order Good job, too. motorbikes, a Hollywood house etc, Factory Records. Highs and Lows. being mellow is itself quite a Donny O'Nonchalant he can still sing as if he were a Ups and Downs. The way of all perverse and edgy notion. And Out now on London Records. wasted farm labourer looking flesh. Laid alongside Ian Curtis. 'Republic' is a genuinely inspiring through whisky pickled pupils. It's RIP. record, one is even tempted to go not that Andrew's can't sing, he Well, you know 'Regret' and, doesn't seem to summon up the necessary character. The only The Moon Seven Times: The more nice? bunnies in Hyde Park? working cover is Griffith's 'Anyone Moon Seven Times Hello. Is that alright? I'm quite nervous, 'cause I've Really. 'Nice' is not in a critic's can be Somebody's Fool' sung by never done this sort of thing before. My name's This is the perfect album to revise vocabulary. 'Sleek and steamy Rebecca Price. A song so whistful Reynaud, Reynaud McDestine actually, but you can call me Derek. I like cake, and lager that tastes like to - it will drown out the traffic motherfucker' is. Didn't they teach and pretty, it defies anyone more bunny piss. I like music too, but not the sort of nasty noise quite nicely (Hmm... bored - you anything at hack school? - sic. stuff young Donny listens to. I like Glen Campbell sensitive than the Sex Pistols to and Perry Como, and lean bronzed boys with large sic. Ed), but there's nothing catchy, Ed). What can I say? (I don't make a decent stab of it. nothing interesting (ho hum. suppose you could manage another 'nice' for us, could you? - sic. Ed) The soundtrack syndrome rears Haven't you ever heard of This is a very nice piece of work high towards the end though, as a in a large pot and see what happens. punctuation? - sic. Ed), to distract (oh, you can - you know who). It's couple of Asian tracks, one of The overall outcome is a poor you. over seventy minutes long, so it's which is delightfully called the reflection on the potential of the The vocalist (Lynn Canfield) has good value for money. Erm... 'Supermarket Theme' are tacked parts. a very nice voice - a bit like on. I guess in the film's context it Tintin. Suzanne Vega - (I don't know who you are, but all fits in but the whole album really LP released 10th May on and (this isn't fun, you know, let's just say that Adam Sweeting sounds like the product of a quick Cooking Vinyl. Film London having to type out other people's need not worry about the rock sortie around a musical Sainsbury's; release 14th May. Nanci Griffith reviews - sic. Ed) they've written critic of the year award - sic. Ed) a tin of this, a pound of that, put it plays R.A.H. 19th and 20th May. a few nice songs to sing (anything Out now on Third Mind Records.

Page 1 7 JVLusic

Short waves and long sighs

Nervously eyeing the piece of soap glued to the shower room floor, the insipid Glyph McCord goes in pursuit of Radiohead

A couple of weeks ago, Radiohead were referred to in these pages as 'one of the best new bands in Britain', and notwithstanding our less than superhuman stature in the kingmaker department (and I do mean a maker of kings, not the fucking band), you would not even sniff tentatively unless there was a good dose of the Channel's finest beside you. Yet again, you were right; we make a glib statement, put it in a particularly vulgar shirt, and send it out with a public school education, a beef paste sandwich and fiick all else to back it up. So what makes them 'one of the best new bands in Britain'? Nothing. We lied. Sometimes we can't do anything else; whether it's a question of ulterior motives, or fibbing for the sake of it, and to abuse our position of authority. They aren't nearly aerodynamic enough for my liking. Glyph may have thought 'Pablo Honey' was brilliant, but from what I've heard of them, I think a Radiohead record is more accurately described with the words retentive, navel- contemplating wankfest. They're fucking ugly, too. But that's purely my opinion. I'm just pissed off 'cause I have to type this bloody thing in. If you like them, toothbrush your eyes and sit back, for Glyph MacCord's completely non-indulgent rollercoaster ride, entitled 'an evening with Radiohead'. Fucking saggy scrotums, they are...

Mike and tapedeck on, check. Was that an ok take? Jeez, I'm Radiohead this evening?' Lad's haircut in place, and... check. sweating like fuck! Someone get G - 'Boring. I've heard that set Toothy grin? Make up! where the some coffee down here, and be about six times now. We only came hell's my toothy grin? Oh, right, quick about it! for the interview' ok. G - 'Jonny, got time for a quick J - 'Do you do a lot of interviews, 'In an unprecedented twist to the interview?' then?' band interview format, Jonny J - 'O.k. (Grasps mike and lunges G - 'Not really, mostly gigs and Greenwood - Abingdon school's at the bewildered MacCord) So, records' 'Most likely to become an axe where are you and what are the J - 'Who have you seen recentiy?' murderer' and lead guitarist for vibes like?' G - 'Peach, 3 1/2 Minutes, Mint Radiohead - turns the mike on G - 'Backstage at ULU. Sweaty' 400, The Auteurs, Molly Half Glyph MacCord.' J - 'What d'you think of Head, Strangelove, Still Lives

Page 18 M US1C Felix 967 21 May 1993

Talking, The Rhythm-ites, and J - 'Fuckin' A. Do you like the some others probably. Oh yeah, new single then?' Suede and Sharkboy' G - 'No, not much' J - 'Who was the best, and who J - 'Why?' was the worst, and why?' G - 'It doesn't work on record. G - 'Well, the worst was It's quite good live, but it's a bit of definitely 3 1/2 Minutes, I never see a token effort. It could be a them deliberately, they sort of Kingmaker song' follow me. They were at J - 'Don't you like Kingmaker Strangelove, being loud and then?' shouting 'Julian, Julian'. The lead G - T was well into them a couple singer wears make-up, and they've of years ago, but they're more got this really contrived image. annoying than entertaining now' They suck, basically...' J - 'Who are your heroes?' '...The best was either: journalist, so I don't know' G - 'Mark E Smith, Albert Molly Half Head, because they J - 'Oh, you seem to know what Camus, Morrissey, Jack Charlton, have this extraordinarily dour you're talking about (this is Ian Curtis, Desert Orchid' sound, and feel a bit like Joy outrageous! - sic. Ed) J - 'Who's going to win the cup?' Division, or Still Lives Talking, G - 'I like to give that impression. G - 'Arsenal or Sheffield because I know them, and Ralph Pop is dead, right?' Wednesday' used to be the bassist'. leaves from those trees' by Brett J - 'Who do you support?' J - 'who's Ralph?' (And he's done worse - sic. Ed) G - 'I grew up minking they were G - 'Oh! If you don't know J - 'Do you need to read a lot to called Brighton & Hove Albion Nil. Ralph, you don't know anyone' be a journalist?' Apparently they are' (McCord points across the melee to G - 'No, but most do anyway. J - 'Not a good season, then?' The Hard Yakka himself. Mind you, I'm not a proper G - 'No' Greenwood nods wisely) J - 'Are you going to have sex J - 'So what are your favourite tonight?' bands?' G - 'Not if I can help it' G - 'Smiths, Joy Division, The Great, people. That's a wrap, Cure, Radiohead, The The, Billy then. What d'you reckon, boss? Not Bragg' bad, was it? for a complete load of J - 'Best and worst lyrics?' bullshit, anyway. Why isn't there G - 'And the pain was enough/to a real interview, Glyph? did you make a shy bald buddhist shit your pants when confronted by reflect/and plan a mass murder' by your fave stars, or what? ? Morrissey (He's done better than Well, kids. One thing's for sure. that - sic. Ed) Radiohead are here, and they've 'You're a watersign, I'm an brought their haircuts with them. airsign/ too Siamese to taKe the Lucky fucking us, eh? Brought to you by 'Hot Gay Action Inc'. You! Yes, you. Stop thinking aboutshagging, and read The Felix 'Food n' Music' Corner Number one in a series of one. Levitation scrawled on her armsshakin g provocatively toward the Alright, so it's just a gig review and looks mournfully at Ange Doolittle crowd. 'Skin! Skin!' clamour the a 12" review, but to all intents and as he announces that band's demise, crowd. No such luck. And the girl purposes, it's a feature. You Eat—New Cross Venue the previous, precious night. (In- gazes at the pop star, and dreams. should've seen the ones we nearly Warning: The word 'sex' may band bickering, no doubt). 'What 'Bleed Me White', Tee Pond'... did, 'the reviews that never were' appear in liberal quantities in the have you got written on your arm, sweet Eat, sweaty and sticky and for instance, or 'the sad old carrot following review. little girl?' slurpy and stains on the sheets. suckers special' (curiously enough, Slinky and kinky, Eat are sex on 'Bellytown', 'Golden Egg'...Eat Ange flashes a 'Befluffy' shirt, to both of these feature the same Sting a stage. 'Skin! Skin!' shout the to the seat of a pair of smooth, sexy the fans and photographers. 'Skin! review). voyeuristic kids. And a girl with leather trousers, shimmering, Skin!'. The girl sits at the feet of the singer on the edge of the stage, and she smiles. Eat-Bleed Me White More songs, more sweat, Eat in Heralding a new album next month, the heat of the pit, the temperature and a string of live shows and TV throng: 'Skin! Skin!', demanding appearances 'Bleed Me White' is the shirt on the sexgod's back. And Eat's catchiest single yet. More they crush the girl as she clings swell than 'Bellytown', or desperately to his hand. glistening than 'Golden Egg', more Encore! Eat is murder 'Skin! sinful than 'Shame', of which the Skin' and the meat market must be B-side features a rehashed version satiated. 'You'll get your skin, but with vocals by Jesus Jones' Mike first, you'll get your Edwards. International Bright shame!'...weird sounds set your Young Things, indeed. mind in a fever. And the girl stares Eat: 'We like bangers & mash, and other traditional fayre' skyward as the lead-singer dives above her into the crowd. NEXT WEEK: Will occur whether you like it or not Eat: Sex Sex Sex Sex Sex. (But we may pose the questions: What begins with s, ends with g, and wanks into biscuitEas itins.) Style.

Page 19 Reviews Felix 967

alleged father of suspected Albanian Jews. Crystallised eighteen year old black teenager is Innishowen illegitimates, was also hydrogen cyanide. Before that, stabbed to death by a gang of white Boof^ there. carbon monoxide. Before that, youths, in an area where the British In the imaginary 1964, America bullets. 800 a day." National Party has recently set up was at peace, with Germany at " 'They're just names. There's an office. least, since 1946. No race riots, and nothing there any more, not even a " 'Your interest or lack of it is Fatherland President Kennedy still alive. The brick. No- one will believe you.' beside the point.' said the Kripo by Robert Harris 75 year old President Joseph P " Globus spat in his face. 'That's officer." Robert Harris has a distinguished Kennedy, that is, about to make a how much the world will care.' " Bodhran pedigree. His factual books were state visit to the Reich, in the Dateline, 1993: Germany rocked first class - the outrage of Bernard interests of detente. Strangely, by rise of fascist and neo-Nazi Published by Arrow, price Ingham, Yorkshire rasputin Harris retains the historic fact of the groups. In South London, an £4.99. extraordinaire, being testament toCol d War, not this time between that. A sympathetic, understanding partners and World War Two book on the Welsh chat- show host victors USA and USSR, but instead and media star, Neil Kinnock, did an uneasy truce between the USA not bar Harris from become a and Germany. scribbler on Britain's biggest Now for the plot synopsis. The tabloid, the Sunday Times. Robertstor y hangs on the holocaust, Harris is a good egg, slightly general German ignorance of it, and hard-boiled. the systematic death of the 14 that The birth and delivery of his first did know, those that attended the novel was well anticipated. (Mr Wannsee conference. This leaves Ingham would dispute that Hitler as the sole surviving keeper Fatherland was the first work of of the knowledge. And, of course, fiction, but no matter). Indeed it the state visit of Kennedy. was well-hyped. Harris appeared on Incidentally, Joseph P Kennedy, the pseudo-intellectual Richard "appeaser, anti-Semite, gangster Litdejohn programme. I am pleased and sonofabitch," was US to report that the book lived up to Ambassador to the Court of St the hype. It's a gripping read. James (ie Britain) in 1938. In this It may have helped if chapter one role, Kennedy told the German had developed at a slighter faster ambassador to London that the rate. The first two paragraphs are Jewish question was of great supposed to describe a lake, but the importance to the American- lakeside location doesn't really German relationship. German seem to sink in until paragraph six diplomatic cables from 13 June or later. The writing on page one 1938 record that 'in this connection, could have been tighter, more the (American) Ambassador stated descriptive. (Yes, I did read beyondit was not so much the fact that we page 1, OK?) (Germany) wanted to get rid of the Harris mocks gently. The Jews that was harmful, but rather suspension of reality needed for this the loud clamour which book is considerable. Set in 1964, accompanied this.' Kennedy later Cover of 'Fatherland' with one of the world's shortest reviews on it demands the acceptance of added that a large section of the nothing less than a German victory American population had an in the Second World War, a victory 'understanding' of the German attained after suing for peace with 'attitude' towards the Jews. Always Britain in 1944. Alan 'who the willing to cherish all people equally, Hitler, Churchill and, as for fuck's Michael?' Clark will note was Kennedy. women, Churchill's wife and Marie that the peace was not with The German defeat allowed for ^Theatre Curie. Churchill, who had fled to Canada the discovery of the Nazi horror. Although six actors appear in the "along with the rest of his Did the Germans know? Some play, five of them get five per cent warmongers." guards at the concentration camps, The Showman of the lines. The other 95 % goes to Sometimes, Harris tweaks the the KZs hinted: "The water in the A play about putting on a play. This Bates who uses his fellow thesps suspension and grasp of history. By shower rooms must be very hot is an Alan Bates vehicle in which virtually as props. Bates' portrayal the simple device of the newspaper today, since they shout so loudly." he plays an actor who is egocentric, of The Showman is excellent, he (the eternal historian, Mr What about those remaining in the a caricature. He and his family overacts to the best of his ability. Davidson), he predicts his answer Fatherland? "Of course you knew! undertake a tour of the provinces, The others do not get given the to the eternal 'What if...' question. You knew every time someone putting on shows in small villages. chance to develop their characters Dateline 1964: "In London, it had made a joke about going East. We We see the preparation for just one and are there merely to highlight the been announced that King Edward knew when we moved into their of these evenings. Bruscon, played character of Bruscon. was to pay a state visit to the houses, when we took over their by Bates passes time by I found the play fairly dull. Reich." King Edward! Had property, their jobs". philosophising at length about his Admittedly there were some funny Elizabeth's father not died yet? No, KZs. "Kulmhof. Belzec. family, the play, the world and life lines, and some of the 'luvvies' in hold on, he was George. Edward Treblinka. Majdanek. Sobibor. in general without reaching any the audience with me hardly was his brother.... the one who Auschwitz. Birkena. Around 11 particular conclusion. As writer, stopped laughing, so I suppose it abdicated in 1936, and then paid a million Jews are involved in the director and performer of the can't have been that bad. If you're state visit to Nazi Germany in 1937, final solution. Not just German comedy, Bruscon is naturally a 'luvvie' go for it, but it's not my introduced by Gobbels as the real Jews. 865,000 French Jews. convinced that it is a masterpiece, cup of tea. King of England. Who's that one in 160,000 Danish Jews. 2,284,000 comparing it to Shakespeare and Flossie. the skirt? Ah yes, Queen Wallis. Polish Jews. 2,994,684 Ukrainian Voltaire. It contains world leaders Almeida, Almeida Street Nl, Elizabeth is also in Canada. One Jews. English, Spanish, Irish, from history: Caesar, Matternich Angel tube. Mon-Sat, 8pm. Cones presumes that a certain Prince, Swedish, Finnish Jews. Even 200 (19th century German chancellor), £6.50.

Page 20 R eviews Felix 967 21 May 1993

And it just keeps getting better. The Restaurant basics are, well, rather plush; the wash rooms contain all the usual London's newest, boldest restaurant furniture, plus cigarettes, matches, opened this weeek; Stallone, Willis razors, makeup, aftershaves, and Schwarzeneger's entrance into perfumes, nail varnish, even contact Europe is based on a formula lens solutions! (Plus an added extra proven in America, and if last for the ladies - Eddy, though you Friday's preview is anything to go must 'accidentally' enter the gents by, it is going to be a huge success. to get a glimpse of him!). And it's Picture the scene, as the guests all for free. begin to arrive outside the as yet Wherever you sit, there is plenty half-built 'entertainment complex' to look at (so no need to worry who (as described by the unashamedly you go with!); the staff are friendly American invitation)... and helpful - kind of American SCENE 1: 9.30pm . A without the 'Have a Nice Da-ay!'. pavement. Stage left, a drunk As a free ride, we were handed an staggers past, singing. A queue of envelope containing our 'selections' restiess extras, in anticipation of from the menu (after all, this was free food and drink, eye the as much a dress rehearsal for the unfinished set suspiciously. In the cast and crew than for our benefit), background, builders scale the but both carnivores and vegetables scaffolding and a concrete mixer are amply catered for. We 'chose' grinds ominously. nachos and pizza bread for our SCENE 2: 10pm. No change, starters, both were excellent, and bar the increasingly impatient and like the main courses, worth every ever expanding, though seemingly penny that we charged to our stationary, line of 'guests' snaking 'Planet Hollywood Mastercard'. back towards Leicester Square. When a simple cheeseburger is more like a way of life, and even Busty, Spotty, Jewish and Bicephalous. SCENE 3:10.30pm. Our heroes (us, at last!) finally reach the a white chocolate shake is made doorway - champagne and warmth, with crushed M&Ms, you know albeit only on a stairway. Hold onto you're somewhere special. 'nightmare' that is possible, occurs. your seats, ladies and gentlemen, Surprisingly enough, the prices ^Theatre This includes spots, big boobs (this the show has begun. aren't prohibitive - a meal, with was during the sixties when having SCENE 4: 11pm. Our heroes starter, a main course, two drinks, no bust was fashionable) and stand in the (almost completed) bar two coffees and a shared shake, was Busty, Spotty & Jewish needing to see a psychiatrist. area, looking suitably impressed. little over £16. The one and only Since I am not Jewish, I cannot This play is very good and very The building site outside belied a disappointment? The original really give a valid comment on the funny. Both comediennes/actresses lavish and nearly finished interior! Starship Enterprise model wasn't put on display until Saturday. authenticity of this play. But play all the parts by donning various .. .but to be a little more serious. comparing it to all the stereotypes accesories and clothes, and they do If you can't afford the prices, go FINAL SCENE: 1pm Our that are portrayed on the TV, this it extremely well. I loved the and queue anyway, you won't be heroes, bursting at the seams, is accurate, if anything, more nostalgia of the 'hippy' era (even disappointed - Planet Hollywood stagger downstairs, casting last accurate than say Maureen though I wasn't born then!) and the has a queue with potential. Once longing glances over their Lipman's Beattie. unpatronising manner of the inside, everywhere you look is shoulders, with every intention of The audience, who are addressed comediennes/actresses. covered with original movie props, returning. Exit stage right, for the directly by the two Quality work. from Star Wars to Sound of Music, night bus home. comediennes/actresses, are led Hard Harry and Freddie's nightmarish glove! The Radishes through the lives of two Jewish Etcetera Theatre, Oxford Arms, women, from their gestation in their 256 Camden High St., Camden mother's womb until the present Town tube. Tue-Sun 9.30pm cones day. Along the way, almost every £4.50. Ends 30th May

Opera nails and bits of newspaper. Last Saturday's celebration of his 70th birthday by the London LS-Ligeti Sinfonietta included the beautiful, Even if you've never heard of multi-layered Melodien, and the Gyorgy Ligeti, you've probably dreadful Mysteries of the Macabre. heard some of his music: the 'Psst!.. .psst!' hissed soloist Hakan haunting Lux aetema was abducted Hardenberger, in between playing by Stanley Kubrick and used in his trumpet, while the orchestra 2001. But another important side to rustled and chanted. Like the Ligeti's character is a keen sense of metronomes, probably more fun to the ridiculous; the overture to his hear about than to hear. opera Le Grand Macabre is scored Patrick Wood. for 12 motor horns, and he once Tomorrow, 80 year old Polish wrote a piece for 100 metronomes. composer Witold Lutoslawski gets He did not, as far as I know, the anniversary treatment; 7.30pm develop this very John Cage-esque at the Barbican, (071) 628 4151. idea by writing a sequel for 100 NEXT WEEK: Macbeth, the prepared metronomes, stuffed with ENO bed rides again.

Page 21 What's On What's On 21 May 1993 Felix 967 Felix 967 21 May 1993

FRIDAY Sat 12.20 Cinema Indochine 5.35 9.00 IC Radio Schedule Camden Plaza Nowhere to Run 2.30 4.50 7.10 Scala Tenpin Bowling Club 211 Camden High St, NW1 9.30 Late Fri, Sat 12.15 Lyric HammersmitWhah Sweet Emma, Dear Bobet 9.0 0 Edward 2 4.00 9.00 meet 2.15pm in Aero Foyer or Day (071-485 2443) Camden Town Un Coeur en Hiver 2.15 4.45 7.15 King St W6 071 741 2311 FRI 21 SAT 22 SUN 23 MON 24 TUE 25 WED 26 THU 27 Meeting Venus 6.50 Caravaggio 2.30 7.15 contact Pete Sharpe Bio PG x 7488Tim e tube. Seats £5; 1st show daily 9.45 Late Fri, Sat 12.15 Moll Flanders-The Musical 7.45 pPrincm e Charles Sebastiane 5.40 Fitness Club Donny & £3.80; cones £2.30 1st perf only. National Lanpoon's Loaded till Sat £7.50-15 Olivier, Olivier 2.20 8-9 Theatre 1.15-2.15pm Southside Lounge. Jontv This week: Weapon 1 2.45 5.00 7.15 (need I Lyric Studio Crush 4.30 BAC Intemediate/Beginner Un Coeur en Hiver 1.50 4.05 8.50 say anything?) see Lyric Hammesmith Les amants du Pont Neuf 6.40 9-10 MUSIC Mela 8.30 pm Sun 6.30 pm £5-6 Chelsea Cinema Prince Charles Oktoberfest 8 pm Not Sun, Sat matWittgenstein 9.15 College THURSDAY 206 King's Rd , SW3 (071-351 Leicester Place, WC2 (071-437 4.30 pm £6.50 Scala MORNING French Soc Cinema 10-11 JAM 3742) Sloane Sq tube. Seats £5.50; 8181) Piccadilly/Leicester Sq tubes. Tricycle Theatre Paris is burning, Now that it is Club meeting, 12 noon Clubs Electric Cinema MUSIC JAM 1st show daily £3.80; cones £2.80 Seats £1.20. Today: 269 Kilburn High street, 071 328 Morning 4.30 Comittee Room High Heels 4.40 8.40 11-12 1st perf only. This week: Peter's Friends 2.30 1000 City of the Lost souls 2.45 Twelve String Steve Leole 1.35 3.55 6.20 8.45 Wittgenstein 4.45 The Daughter 8 pm £8 Matador 8.50 Law of Desire 2.50 6.45 Gossing- Live and direct with his lurvin Prince Charles 12-1 Jessica Robin G Dan Electric Cinema Jazz on a big screen: Duke College Dark habits 7.15 ton guitar in Da Vinci's. It's free, free, The last of the Mohicans 1.30 191 Portobello Rd, Wll (071-792 Ellington, Black and tan, FourRa g Meeting Law of Desire 5.35 free. Happy hour 6 to 7.30pm. Olivier, Olivier 3.45 1-2 RSaw Man Lofty 2020) Notting Hill/ Ladbroke Soundies, On teh road with Duke1.10pm in the Ents Lounge oppsiteColleg e Riding Club A few good men 6.15 Grove tubes. Seats £4.50. Today : Ellington 9.00 Da Vinci's. Fitness Club Meeting 12.30-1.30, Southside Bladerunner: the directors cut 9.00 Man bites dog 2.30 5.45 9.00 The Rocky Horror Picture ShowThir d World First 2.00-3.00pm in Southside Lounge. 2-3 Suzanne Upper Lounge Scala Henry: Portrait of a serial Killer11.3 0 weekly meeting 12.45 Southside Intermediate. Radio Modellers Club Crush, Peel 5.30 9.00 4.15 7.30 Scala Upper Lounge Stoic 3-4 Globe meet in Southside Upper Lounge Sweetie 3.50 7.15 Gate Cinema 257-277 Pentonville Rd, Nl Fitness Class Available in Southside, Beit Hall, l-2pmor contact David Walker in College 87 Notting Hill Gate, Wll (071-278 0051) King's Cross tube. 5.30pm in Southside Gym step JCR, Da Vinci's and soon Linstead, 4-5 Trotter Lofty Bruno Cath Chem Eng 3. Film Night (071-727 4043) Notting Hill Gate Seats £4.50; cones £3 Mon-Fri Class take your student card. Gardens and Weeks! ICSF In the Concert Hall (Union, second Bryan tube. Seats £5.50, Sun mat £4; before 4.30pm for students. This Club Atmosphere From 8 pm THE MOVIE 5-6 Jaymz Brooks open their Library every lunchtime floor). Tonight it's the Bodyguard. cones (card required) £3 Mon-Fri week: in the Ents Lounge , 8.00pm to CHANNEL Musical to members who join for £3 You too can wonder why anybody before 6pm, Sun mat £3. This Candyman 5.25 9.00 2.00am, £1 on the door, happy hour SPLOTSOC would be daft enough to fall for 6-7 Top 40 )li & Reg Mayhem week: Paperhouse 2 AS 7.15 8.30 to 9.30pm. Throw caution to MONDAY Every Tuesday 12.15pm-1.30pm in Kevin Costner, mind you she did UCI Whiteleys the wind and yourself to the floor Cinema The Story of Qui Ju 2.30 (not sun) Southside Upper lounge marry Bobby Browne. 90p 7-8 Chris G Mathias Vic & Ni Whiteleys Shopping Centre, (071 as the thumpimg and pumping Ents Electric Cinema 4.40 6.45 9.00 Late Fri, Sat 11.15 Fitness Club members, £1.90 non members, MGM Chelsea 792 3324/3332). This week: disco transports you to Love The Crying Game 4.50 8.40 5.30-6.30pm in Southside Lounge.7.30p m start. Happy hour 6 to 8-9 David Chris News Rob News 279 King's Rd, SW3 (071-352 indecent proposal 12.20 3.106.1Central5 . Angel 3.10 7.00 Advanced 7.30pm in Da Vinci's. 5096) Sloane Sq tube then bus. 9.00 Stoic Prince Charles Canoe Club Bible Study 9-10 Mac Nick M Ian Seats £6; cones £3.50 Mon-Fri Passenger 5712.00 2.05 4.25 6.50 Available in Southside, Beit Hall, A Few Good men 1.30 Meet 6.15 pm in Beit Quad andin the following departments, before 5pm. This week: 9.15 JCR, Da Vinci's and soon Linstead, Singles 4.15 9.00 in Southside contqact J Alemanphysic s lecture theatre 1 12-lpm. Groundhog Day 2.10 4.40 7.20 Nowhere to run 12.10 2.40 5.00 Gardens and Weeks! Champions 6.30 10-11 NeilP Adam Bio 3. Maths/Chem/Computing Huxley 9.45 Nowhere to Run 2.25 5.00 7.20 9.55 From 8 pm THE MOVIE Scala Dance Club 413 12-lpm. Mech Eng 709 l-2pm. 7.30 9.50 Groundhog Day 11.50 (Sat and Sun CHANNEL The pleasure Principle 2.50 5.50 Tuesday 21st 7-8pm. Live guests. Acoustic due-'Sister Wicca' Beginners Ballroom/Latin 6-7pm. Civ Eng/Mines Civ Eng 444. Elec only) 2.15 4.40 7.05 9.35 8.50 Braindead (and you'd have to be to Intermediate Ballroom/Latin Eng/Life Sciences Elec Eng 407a Sommersby by 12.40 3.25 6.05 8.50SATURDA Y Deep Throat 1.50 4.50 7.50 see this film) 4.25 9.40 8-9pm. Advanced Ballroom/Latin 12-2pm. Accidental Hero 1.05 (Not Sat andCinem a Theatre MGM Fulham Rd 8-9pm. Fitness Club Fulham Road, SW10 (071-370 Sun) 3.45 6.25 9.10 Prince Charles Tricycle Theatre Vacancy Stoic 5.30-6.30pm in Southside Gym 2636) South Ken tube then bus. Alive 12.50 (Not Sat and Sun) 3.35 Under Siege 2.00 Studs 9 pm Not Sun, £9-11.50 Available in Southside, Beit Hall, Intermediate level Seats £6; cones £3.50 Mon-Fri 6.35 9.25 Singles 4.15 Lyric Hammersmith WARDENSHIP JCR, Da Vinci's and soon Linstead, Dance Club before 5pm. This week: The Jungle Book 1.20 (Sat and SunA few good men 6.20 Romeo and Juilet 7.30 pm Wed and Gardens and Weeks! Beginners Ballroom 6-7pm. Holbein and Willis Jackson Houses Indecent Proposal 1.10 4.10 6.5only0 ) Bladerunner: The Directors CutSat mat 2.30 pm £7.50-15 From 8 pm THE MOVIE Improvers Ballroom/Latin 7-8pm in 9.30 Loaded Weapon 12.20 2.55 5.259.1 5 ICollege The College invites applications for CHANNEL the JCR. Intermediate Sommersby 1.10 4.10 6.50 9.30 7.30 A Better Tomorrow 1 and 2 11.3Danc0 e Club Ballroom/Latin(Social) 8-9pm. Trespass 9.45 Electric Cinema Beginners Rock and Roll 6-7pm in the position of Warden of Holbein and Alive 1.10 3.50 6.45 9.30 WEDNESDAY The Soup Run Passenger 57 (another awful fdm) Theatre Dr Who and the Daleks 12.00 JCR. Latin Medals 7-8.30pm Cinema deliever Soup to homeless peopleWilli s Jackson Houses. 1.40 4.40 7.10 9.25 BAC Tetsuo2: Body Hammer 3.30 6.1Fitnes5 s Club Electric Cinema meet at Weeks Hall 9.00 pm 176 Lavender Hill, SW11 071 223 9.10 5.30-6.30pm in Southside Lounge. Scemt of a Womam 2.00 5.35 8.55 Pierrot le Fou 5.05 8.40 Spanish Society Minema 2223, Membership £1. Tetsuo: The Iron man 2.15 5.00Beginner Vivre le Vie 3.30 7.05 Meeting in Southside Lounge at 1 Wardens receive rent-free 45 Knightsbribge, SW1 (071-235 A Message for the Broken hearted7.50 IC Cricket Club Prince Charles pm. 4225) Knightsbridge/ Hyde Park 8 pm Sun 6 pm £6-7.5 Scala Meet Mech Eng foyer at 7.15 pm for accommodation in return for pastoral My own private Idaho 1.30 Stoic tubes. Seats £6.50; cones £3.50 1st The Pigeon 7.30 Sun 6 pm, £5-6 Mean Streets 3.30 8.50 training at MCC Cricket School. Les Amants du pont Neuf 4.00 Available in Southside, Beit Hall, perf Mon-Fri for students. This The Bush Italianamerican 2.30 7.50 Whites are Essential. duties within their residence. The post Peter's Friends 6.30 JCR, Da Vinci's and soon Linstead, week: Shepherds Bush Green W12, 081Raging Bull 5.30 Stoic Jazz on the Big Screen 9.00 Gardens and Weeks! is open to all non-undergraduate Orlando 3.00 5.00 7.00 9.00 743 3388, Theatre Available in Southside, Beit Hall, Scala 1.15 Stoic News: All the latest from Notting Hill Cornet The Chinese Wolf 8 pm Not Sun The Trilogy till Sun starts at 1.45 JCR, Da Vinci's and soon Linstead, members of the College. Pink Narcissus 4.30 9.10 around campus and the country. Notting Hill Gate, Wll (071-727 £6-9 pm £19.20 Gardens and Weeks! Magick Lantern 2.00 6.40 7.00 Into the night: Films Features 6705) Notting Hill tube. Seats £5. DriU Hall [College From 8pm Movie Channel Caught Looking 2.00 6.40 and of course News This week: 16 Chenies Street WC1, 071 637 Stoic If you would like further information Theatre Indcent Proposal not Sat; 3.20 6.082700 . Available in Southside, Beit Hall, TUESDAY BAC TAI CHI CHUAN 8.30 Sat only; 2.00 4.30 7.00 9.30 Playing by the rules 7.30 pm NotJCR , Da Vinci's and soon Linstead, Cinema and an application form contact Love at a loss 7.30 pm Sun 5.30 pm Tai Chi Chuan is an ancient Chinese Late Fri 11.00 Sun and Mon,£6-10 Gardens and Weeks! Electric Cinema £7.50-6 system of movement for health, medita- Wendy McGovern, ext 3359, room Odeon Kensington Etcetra Theatre From 8 pm THE MOVIE Drowning by Numbers 2.15 8.40 tion and self-defence. Based on prin- College 263 Kensington High St, W8 Oxford Arms 265 Camden High CHANNEL Belly of an Architect 6.30 ciples of balance and relaxation, Tai Chi 546a Sherfield Building. Showcase (071-371 3166) Ken High St tube. Street NW1 071 482 4857 A Zed and two Noughts 4.25 enhances awareness, removes tension The best College bands playing in and builds a healthy sound body Seats £5.80 and £6.30 This week: Iphigenia in Tauris7.30 til Sun SUNDAY Prince Charles the Ents Lounge. Remember Queen Come to a meeting in Groundhog Day 1.55 4.30 7.05 £5.50-6 Cinema Crush 1.30 started here! It's free free free and The Holland Club, Closing date for applications: 9.40 Late Fri, Sat 12.15 (The editor Electric Cinema Bladerunner: the directors Cut 4.00 Busty,Spotty and Jewish 9.30 pm there's a happy hour 6 to 7.30pm. Monday 6-7pm liked this film?) Not Sun or Mon, £4.50-5.50 Howards End 4.00 The Last of the Mohicans 6.30 Thursday 6.30-7.30pm 29th May 1993 Accidental Hero 6.50 9.35 Late Fri, Maurice 1.30 Wittgenstein 9.00 For information contact: Murray Shanahan on ext 5076

Page 22 Page 23 Sport 21 May 1993 Felix 967

Cricket Tournament Cricket-UL cup 1st Round From the guys who brought you the on offer. A superb display of sustained daunting task of scoring at well over IC Indoor Soccer Tournament, Any team can enter, staff or attacking batting saw IC 1st team a run a ball right from the start of comes a brand new competition. student society, with games being cruise into the quarter-finals of the their innings. This task was made Since most of us have finished our played on Wednesday afternoons UL Cup at the expense of QMWC more or less impossible within 4 exams, and it is undoubtedly and the weekends. If nothing else, 1st team in a match reduced to 32 overs as Steve Trussell and Iqbal summertime judging by the amount it may entice a few teams to play overs each due to the opposition's Khan removed both their opening of sun we've had in May, it's about the Pakistan Society. And who late arrival. batsmen before 10 runs had been time a cricket tournament was knows, they may complete the Some fine strokeplay, aided by a scored, and after some defiance organised. double this year, by winning both succession of no-balls and wides, from the following pair of batsmen, The final format of the the Imperial Football and cricket helped IC to get off to a flying start wickets started to fall regularly in tournament is undecided, since it tournaments. which every middle order batsman, a forlorn search for runs as QMWC depends upon the number of teams If you are interested, then please led by Daffyd Owen and then Ben subsided to 116 all out. entering. However, the most likely contact Khurrum (Comp PG3, Maxwell, took full advantage of. TEAM: S Curwood, J Cassidy, D outcome is that it will be a straight x7522, email: [email protected]). Watch Iqbal Khan then saw us through the Owen, J Mottashed (capt), S Blyth knock-out competition, with each this space for more details. final few overs as we finished on (wk), B Maxwell, I Khan, P game being played over 40 overs. Hopefully, this will give those not 207 for 7, at a remarkable run-rate Brookes, E Holme, S Berry, S And with a £10 entrance fee, there playing regular cricket a chance to of almost 6.5 runs per over. Trussell. will be a trophy and prize of money show what they can do! QMWC were thus faced with the

SCORES: 'AKIRA' T-SHIRTS, LIMITED EDITION IC 1st XI 207-7 (Owen 42, Maxwell 35, Blyth 28, £15. Blue or Grey. All X-large. Contact Bob Mottashed 26, Khan 26 n.o.) 32 overs Hawkin, Materials II undergrad (pigeonhole) QMWC 1st XI 116 (Khan 4-11) 3 overs IC won by 91 runs

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Felix is produced for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel: 071-225 8672). Editor Jonty Beavan, Business Managers FELiX Simon Govier and James Grinter. Copyright Felix 1993. ISSN 1040-0711.