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Anand Halve

*Exploring the not-so-obvious aspects of Indian advertising, culture and media often hidden in the fine print of life © Anand Halve, 2014

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i About the author

Anand Halve, an alumnus of the Indian Institute of Manage- ment Ahmedabad (IIMA), has worked in several advertising agencies including Lintas and Enterprise, before becoming a founder-member of the chlorophyll brand and communi- cations consultancy team in 1999.

He is widely known as an expert brand strategist and has consulted with companies and groups including Hindustan Unilever, Mahindra, Taj Hotels, PepsiCo, Edelweiss, MSD Pharma (Merck), Crompton Greaves and others. He has addressed members of the HSBC Asia Pacific group and the Chambers of Commerce of Malaysia and China on the branding challenges for businesses entering India, and has conducted workshops in Nepal.

He has written over 100 articles on brands and advertising in newspapers, maga- zines, blogs and industry websites, and authored three books: Darwin’s Brands (2012), adkatha: The story of Indian advertising (2011, lead co-author) and Planning for Power Advertising (2005). He has also been visiting faculty at IIMA and MICA (Mudra Institute of Communications, Ahmedabad) for many years.

2 Conditions apply*

Anand Halve

*Exploring the not-so-obvious aspects of Indian advertising, culture and media often hidden in the fine print of life

To those who still enjoy the act of reading articles and essays longer than a tweet, sms or WhatsApp message. Thank you. Without you, this book would have no reason to exist.

iii Contents

Preface 6 Section I: Consumers & Communication Did Mrs. Kulkarni attend Advertising 101? 9 Cliches as characterization 13 Just a few words between friends 16 My orang utan can beat your ylang ylang 20 “Marketing man speak with forked tongue” 22 Persuasion by threat 24 The Existential Dilemma 26 Consumers @ the speed of tech 29 The youth market is older than you think 34 Availability as the root of aspirations 36

Section II: Brands & Branding Jaane kahan gaye wo din... 40 Everyone wants to be a brand 45 Blurred vision 50 Pretense and reality: The brand is the behaviour, not the communication 53 Tattoos on arms do not an iconic brands make 56 Amazing quarter-ly results 59

4 Section III: Perspectives & Principles Lessons in advertising 63 Gone google-fishing 66 The medium is the mucilage 68 The map and the territory 71 Statistics, Lies and Innumeracy 74 We, the unevolved 77 Why Good morning will kill Namaskar 80 What is the shelf life of your passion? 83 Seeking non-stop titillation 85 Tokenism as hollow action 88 Chasing aspirations 91 The problem of scaling human excellence 94 The cultural bias of innovation 97

Appendix YouTube links for selected TV commercials 99

5 Preface

One of the things I have found fascinating about advertising is that it can portray different, even opposing perspectives in the same product category and that it is not necessary for one of them to ‘win’. Because each reflects a view that some group of people hold. One brand of motorbike promotes companionship; another celebrates the man and his machine alone on the long road. One brand of apparel is the quintessence of the Establishment while another becomes the hallmark of the rebel. One brand of computer is the palette for the artist while another claims that it is a business tool. To my mind, this indicates not merely a choice of target group. Or even the judgment by the advertiser about what kind of advertising will stand out. I believe that more importantly, it is a reflection of the fundamental point of view that the brand presents about people. Advertising is merely the visible part of the brand’s electromagnetic spectrum. I was fortunate in my career to meet advertising greats, who too represented very different points on the continuum of perspectives on advertising. People like Kersy Katrak. Alyque Padamsee. Arun Kolatkar. Mohammed Khan. Subhash Ghosal. Gupta. Kiran Nagarkar. Balwant Tandon. Looking at their work and listening to them, encouraged me to arrive at my own point of view. I was also lucky to have been presented with several opportunities (that I grabbed eagerly with both hands!), to present my point of view. In the teaching work I did, it was essential for me to not merely repeat material from text books, but to share with the students the lessons I had learnt. In much the same way, the articles I enjoyed writing for magazines and newspapers, compelled me to think about my point of view on the issues about which I was writing. And so did the talks I gave at various advertising and marketing seminars.

6 And one of the most important lessons I learnt during this process was that one can only teach or write or speak with conviction if one has a clear point of view on the subject. These essays written over the past decade or so, reflect my own perspective on media, advertising, brands and the cultural context that informs people’s attitudes towards these. They represent what I read between the lines of the obvious. What has amazed me, as I compiled them now though, is how many of those views are still valid today, although of course many examples mentioned certainly belong to the time when the piece was written. (Links to YouTube in an appendix will enable readers to see some of the TV commercials that are referred to in the essays.) The essays are organized in sections covering three broad areas, and are in chronological order within each section. However, each essay is complete in itself, and the essays can be read without any problem in random order. Undoubtedly, readers might share some points of view wholeheartedly and equally vehemently, disagree with others. One man’s roast chicken is another man’s “dead animal in the stomach”. The essays do not attempt to convert anyone to my point of view. Nor are they are going to provide any simplistic answers. My hope is only that they will prompt some readers to ask pertinent questions.

Anand Halve, 19 May 2014, Mumbai Email: [email protected]; Twitter: @anandhalve

7 Section I: Consumers & Communication

8 Did Mrs.Kulkarni attend Advertising 101?

Many moons ago, when the relentless pressure of the quarterly result did not exist, and advertising was the 'most fun people had with their clothes on', there was a wistful hope heard from creatives who felt advertisers were step- ping on their right to keep the logo invisible. And the hope was:"Advertising would be great - if only there were no clients!" That of course has changed. Advertising professionals have come to terms with the reality that as publicly held entities, advertising agencies must meet shareholder expectations just as much as publicly held companies in the steel, widgets or polyester businesses. And that they must learn to respect the wis- dom of the stock-market. (Which Knows It All - except of course when it dem- onstrates its irrational exuberance and gets it all horribly wrong.) And increase the size of the logo when requested by the client to do so. But can we at least expect the consumer to play by the rules? Surely we have a right to expect that Mrs.Kulkarni (the name I have given to the quintessential Indian consumer), will follow some of the principles of consumer behaviour, as she heads off to "do her marketing". I take this opportunity to take a look at the conventional wisdom and tenets about advertising, and see if they are validated by observations about what the consumer is actually doing. Sadly, this does not seem to be the case. Consider some examples. (I am of course basing the comments that follow, on the not unreasonable assumption that, if advertisers continue to run certain advertising, it is because they believe the said advertising is working, and is persuading the consumer and/or the trade to support the brand with zest and vigor.) Consumer Insights These are the gems of understanding, which are supposed to turbo-charge advertising, and get consumers to say, "Ah ha, I am so glad that someone has realized that hemorrhoids are a fundamental barrier to working long hours!"

9 and rush to the nearest store to buy Brand X Soothing cream, so that they can put in the 16-hour work-day. Now I am all for insights, but what is the insight that you suppose illumi- nates the advertising we have seen recently for a certain brand of blended spices? There is little in the communication, apart from the fact that several in- distinguishable packs drift across the screen in turn, and a jingle which doesn't even rhyme. ('sach-sach' can only rhyme with '...H' if you pronounce 'H' as 'yechh"). And of course the ancient patriarch. So what do you suppose does Mrs.Kulkarni sees in it? Brand Stretch & Extendability The text books also tell you about the core associations of brands and the values which are supposed to guide the kind of extensions that a brand should launch. And going by the book, you can understand Dettol extend the brand from a liquid antiseptic to an antiseptic soap and to adhesive plasters and more recently, to hand washes. Similarly one can understand Maggi extend its range in food products from noodles to ketchups to soups. But what about a brand of electrical switches swinging across to oral care products with the promise of being '100% vegetarian'? And thence to talcum powder? Mrs.Kulkarni certainly does not seem to see anything askew with this eclectic range. Perhaps she believes that all these products are perfectly an- chored in a shared '100% vegetarian' characteristic, and sees no problem in the said brand adorning the wall, the mouth and the armpit. It is almost as if one was watching a model who can't act, swing over to recording a song where she can't sing, to doing a music video when she can't dance...hold on...on second thought, maybe there's nothing wrong with what the brand is doing! Relevant benefits This was supposed to be the first lesson in Advertising 101. That is: when you advertise a product, it must offer a meaningful benefit to the prospects. But what is one to make of a brand of 'fashion inners', as they are called? The tag line that introduces the brand in the TV commercial says, 'prepare to get assaulted'. Now (technical point, milord), unless you sport your

10 undergarments visible to the planet at large, or outside like Superman, how would the assault team know you were wearing them? And is the inner-wear buying public seeking this as a major benefit? Further, a blurb tells us these are bacteria-resistant garments. Hullo? Is that a hugely relevant benefit? And in any case the garments were certainly not very effective in keeping away Bacteria, Hysteria and Anorexia, the three giggling streptococci who come along and assault our hero. Advertising Objective as Benefit The objectives of advertising campaigns tend to be expressed in terms such as 'build brand awareness' or 'generate trial' and so on. (The purists will argue about the adequacy of these as statements of objective, but they will serve as rough examples for the moment.) And advertising is supposed to work towards these objectives; building on insights and creating exciting advertising which 'wings its way from the TV screen and imprints its message on the mental retina' (to coin an extremely pompous expression.) Now, it is quite possible that occasionally the sheet on which the statement of objective is printed might get mixed up with other papers and be given as the brief to the film-maker. So you have a commercial on which huge amounts of money are being spent in airing, which es- sentially says 'Try this brand and then be- lieve (us)”. It seems too simplistic but Mrs.Kulkarni - and her friends - are not bothered by this confusion of objective with advertising expression, and are buying tons of this brand of detergent, worth over Rs. 500 crore (that's right, over Rs. 500 crore) to be precise. Keep it contemporary Another rule that you are supposed to follow is that advertising should look contemporary. That, since India is hurtling relentlessly towards globalization, brands must look contemporary, but also young and international. Consider

11 the commercial for the original ayurvedic brand, which, as they tunefully tell you, is 'not a cosmetic'. It has changed little since the first time it asked you to turn to the magic of turmeric to improve your skin, or showed an aged citizen crack walnuts with his teeth. And it is about as contemporary looking as a 1960s film production. Yet the 'brands must look young, international and con- temporary' is just another firmaan that Mrs.Kulkarni and her companions are not willing to follow. They head off in droves and scoop up over Rs. 140 crore worth of the brand. And so, observing these examples, one wonders whether the classical 'rules' of advertising really matter. Certainly Mrs.Kulkarni and many of her ilk do not seem to be particularly concerned with them!

(Author's note: In this piece, I was 'Personally speaking' - with tongue firmly in cheek. So I trust no offense is taken; since none was intended. But the examples DO suggest to me that maybe we make too much of what kind of ads are 'right'. To settle the debate over whether democracy or communism or dictatorship is 'right', there is a little rhyme that is often quoted: For forms of Government let fools contest, Whichever is best administered is best. Ditto for advertising?)

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 12-07-2004)

12 Cliches as characterization

Some years ago when I was with Enterprise Advertising, a young creative team brought a piece of work to Mohammed Khan and me. It featured a fairly self- explanatory kind of visual (such as a man lying in a hammock to suggest relaxa- tion) and an equally obvious headline (such as "The one thing you can be sure of at XYZ Hotel: Relaxation!") I recall Mohammed saying to the team, "Right. I see you have the brief - now, where's the advertising?". God knows there are enough briefs out there pretending to be advertising. But here are some thoughts on how, perhaps it is the view one has of the con- text of an advertising message, that determines the final ads we approve. And the way people respond to them. Two aspects of context seem particularly im- portant to me. The first aspect of context, that strikes me, is what David Droga calls the 'point of view of the brand': Does the advertisement represent or re- flect the stance of the brand? For instance, if we were to think of a hypothetical brand of 100% vegetarian snacks, the stance of the brand could be a holistic view of health: "non-animal foods are better for the health of a human body". It could, just as legitimately be a stance reflecting concern for the animals being killed for their meat, as in "help stop raising animals for sacrifice - don't let your stomach be a graveyard for animals". The particular stance to which different people relate more strongly might vary, but the point is that what would otherwise be merely, 'a brief' (e.g. eat vegetarian food) becomes a statement of belief which will evoke a response. Without expressing a stance, a brand is likely to lack substance. Thing of five brands that come to your mind. What stance do they represent? The second as- pect of context that I think is important is the persona of the brand-user as con- veyed by the advertising. After all, if large numbers of people are ready, able and willing to turn themselves into mobile kiosks for Tommy Hilfiger and Adi- das, surely they care about what being seen as a user of a particular brand says about them! What kind of value systems, beliefs, and opinions does it suggest about them?

13 But sameness is boring, and it is differences among them that make people interesting. All generalizations of course run the risk of creating stereotypes (and so will my following statements), but here are some groups that defined differences, not so long ago. The young liberal: who had adult hormones in his bloodstream when Woodstock took place, who listened to Dylan and Joan Baez and had a Che Guevara poster on his wall. The intellectual: who had leftist leanings, read Kafka, smoked Charminar cigarettes (no filter) and wore kurtas and carried a 'jhola' The man of principle: who would do things that he believed in no matter what, who had the courage of his convictions, whom we saw recently on a Bajaj Caliber, 'unshakeable' at a traffic light. The boy-next door: who was played by Amol Palekar in 'Rajnigandha', who enjoyed 'pani-puri' at Chowpatty, who could fall in love with a girl who was plump and probably wore bloomers. And many others. But by and large, they are all gone. Made redundant by a universalization of ambitions and images that recognize only one kind of dominant species i.e. the contemporary cliche: Who is in the boardroom by the time he's 30, wears Friday Dressing through- out the week, is addicted to high-fives and punch- ing the air and hissing 'yesss!' to himself through clenched teeth, and who would suffer withdrawal symptoms if you pried the laptop or tablet from his fingers. (Even the guy in the Caliber ad has been 'shaken' aside by the stampede of the pseuds. And of course I don't know how many people under 30 today

14 would have heard Joan Baez, or heard of Che Guevara, or read Marx - either Karl or Groucho!) And so, all too often we are left with commercials for brands without a point of view, which are populated with indistinguishable characters. Who could walk out of an office in one TVC, into the car in another ad, drive to a house in a third ad, pick up the spouse from a fourth, and arrive at a party in yet an- other commercial - and no one would find anything out of place in this journey across stereo-topia! If we find so many commercials today that are non-involving, boring and without substance, is it possible that it's because the brands and the characters depicted in them are exactly like that? What do you think?

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 02-03-2004; Image from: http://www.localmind.com/images/levelup/5.gif)

15 Just a few words between friends

(This piece was inspired by a friend who said to me, "I think you ought to touch upon the slaughter that is taking place around us every day. Of the Eng- lish language, that is.”)

In the beginning was the word. Followed, fairly quickly, by its handmaiden - bad grammar. I don't know if it actually has not struck anyone, or it is simply that people don't consider it a transgression serious enough to warrant com- ment, but the fact is that there are simply too many instances of what Professor Higgins would call, "the cold blooded murder of the English tongue". I am referring to the way in which the English language is being murdered in advertising. (In this article, I shall say nothing of what many English- language publications are doing, in their editorial writing, to aid and abet this crime) Now, there may well be several outraged howls about my being far too pedantic, and which will question my humble statements on various grounds. Let me address the most likely ones. The outrage from the 'evolution of language' argument. This school of thought believes that language is a constantly evolving 'phenomenon' and that strict adher- ence to classical rules is neither valid nor necessary. In any case, say these proponents, it is not the job of copy writers in advertising to be Wren or Martin. Response: First of all, while it is true, and I agree language DOES evolve, it is my belief that it does not do so every Tuesday, like some over-active

16 fungus, so let us not treat every incorrect usage as a step in this glorious march of evolution. And second, while evolution may be inevitable, there is no reason to believe that every change or new thing is desirable. I am reminded of a BBC show some time ago about the popularity of Michael Jackson, in which the an- chor observed that, "...and with his popularity and unique style, everyone agreed that Michael Jackson was quite something! The question was: What???" In like manner one might say that the new forms and usages of English may be quite something, but quite what are they? The outrage from the 'democracy of expression' argument. This school believes that if an expression reflects a 'common expression' then it must be alright. Response: I'd only ask these people how they'd react if their child studying in the elite school came home and said, "Myself Tanya. Your good name?" The form of expression is certainly common enough. The outrage from the 'but there are more important issues' argu- ment. The premise of this argument is simple: why are you worried about something like this when there are SERIOUS ISSUES TO THINK ABOUT. Such as: Urban sanitation, AIDS patients, The state of the advertising industry, Whether you can wangle a last-minute inclusion in the group that's going to Cannes..and so on. Response: Of course there are more important issues than grammar and language. But by that token, there are more important issues than typography, or high quality photography, or production values in a TV commercial... Anyway, let me go on and ask you, dear reader and member of the jury, to consider the evidence. Exhibit 1: 'Relish a Gain' Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please tell me what does this phrase mean? It is a tagline devised for a brand of soft drink concentrate. It was a line that was unleashed on an unsuspecting world not so long ago. What does it mean?

17 That I should 'relish it again'? In which case, why the space between the 'a' and the 'G'? That I should 'relish it and gain'. In which case, gain a - what? In most agencies I respect, the writer who wrote this line would have been sacked. Exhibit 2: 'The man with the smooth edge' This is a phrase that has been used widely in the context of a fairly well- known brand. And I must admit that at first glance, the error I am pointing out appears to stem more from an ignorance of geometry than of language, since the object which the gent is brandishing actually has a smooth CORNER, not a smooth edge. Except that even geometrically-challenged writers seem to be aware of at least a few fundamentals; since no writer refers to the 'ellipsoid of life' instead of 'the circle of life' and no one - so far, anyway - has substituted 'fair and dodecahedral' for 'fair and square'. Exhibit 3: 'Warmth of your family' If you met an illiterate farmer from North Bihar, who said, "Sir, coming to you with love of brother" you may be amused but not aghast; after all you don't expect great command over English from him. And what's a missing article among friends? But what if he was a representative of a company which is headquartered in the UK?! The phrase quoted above is the tag line that appears on the pack of one of India's leading beverage brands. With 'compliments of company' no doubt. Exhibit 4: 'Inspire the next' What is this line all about? Is it comparable to: "Conspire the last"? "Per- spire the other"? "Acquire the one in row 4"? I have spoken to several people, and none of them have been able to figure this one out. Exhibit 5: 'Fast Forward' The love that Indian language copywriters have for the rhyming line has been commented upon in the past. But what is one to make of this piece of dog- gerel that graces the label of a food brand? "Nourishing start. Forward fast"? Possibly written by the chap who decades ago, composed the "paani pump da, cigarette lump ('lamp') da" line. And not as good a rhyme!

18 Exhibit 6: 'Infinity is a place called far away" Categories like cigarettes where there's not much to say anyway, are fertile soil for incomprehensible lines to grow like weeds. But I trust that no one has written a line as obtuse as the one I used as a sub-head just now. (I just pulled it out of a mental hat for this piece...but if you want to use it, sir, well, let us dis- cuss copyright fees...) But there is a line written for a new brand of cigarettes that was introduced recently which is even more obscure: "Where quality touches infinity." Huh? If you figure it out, let me know. As I wrote in the beginning of this essay, I don't know if the reason is that no one has noticed these or that with the pressures of life, liberalization and Luxembourg-based owners of ad agencies, no one has got around to discussing it. Or whether people think it isn't an IMPORTANT ISSUE. But merely because there are more important issues than whether you have hair coming out of your nostrils, it does not automatically follow that you don't attend to it! Likewise for bad English.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 27-04-2004; Image from http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xmcL0Zha4-0/Ty4NRJuOuxI/AAAAAAAAIdM/FefrmomcHZY/s1600/e nglish-bloopers-in-india-dont-share-two-person-in-one-plate.jpg)

19 My orang utan can beat your ylang ylang

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

This bit from Lewis Carroll’s poem, ‘Jabberwocky’ seems to mean some- thing, but one is never sure. Just like a lot of commercials for personal care products. Take the ylang ylang mentioned in this article’s title. It was introduced to me in a commercial where the female protagonist was gyrating in a manner suggesting the advanced stage of a nervous disorder, while caressing her skin. And what the voice over said was: ‘Contains ylang ylang’. Now, if the hapless viewer was told the potion contained ‘neem’ or ‘chandan’ it would mean something, because there is a sense of their do-good value. But ylang ylang? The ad might just as well have said ‘contains orang utan’. But this penchant for unknown and incomprehensible ingredients is getting out of hand. Take another TV commercial which informs us that the product contains ‘jojoba oil’. Quick, how many of you know whether jojoba oil comes from a seed, crushed leaves or the pineal gland of an insect? It’s okay, I don’t know the answer either. But am I missing something, or do these brands really believe that referring to unheard of ingredients will terrify consumers into buying the stuff? Would you buy something because I told you it contained an annulus fibrosus? The familiar made impressive Not content with tossing in strange horticultural substances, some brands turns the common into the exotic, in a bid to impress. 20 As you know, Vitamins are the poor cousins of the Nutritional Family. They don’t get to Page 3 or the ramp like ‘Carbs’, ‘Proteins’ or ‘Calories’ do. They just get by with a few random alphabets tossed their way. So the only ones you know are the somewhat anonymous Vitamins A, B (who is probably from rural India and has a large family), C, D, E and K. So what precisely are these ‘Detox Vitamins’ that certain products are said to contain? A Google search of the term ‘Detox Vitamins’ reveals that they are the humble Vitamin C fellers with a new name! Another product was supposed to have ‘Fairness vitamins’, which turned out to be only “…unique patented formula with its fairness vitamin B3…” when I traced it to the company’s website. This seems like calling a gardener a ‘Tree Surgeon’ in order to make him sound more educated! And the bizarre And if re-naming the commonplace was not enough, how about the weird? A recent commercial for a hair care product shows a bent head of hair trying to drink its ‘plant milk’. Plant milk??? Tell me have you ever heard of anyone giv- ing their hair a glass of plant milk? Or do they mean to imply that the entire hirsute population we have, are secret drinkers, heading off at night to tipple some form of lacteal fluid?! When I was in school there was a piece of advice that said, “If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with b******t”. A lot of guys have evi- dently been listening!

(Originally published in Hindustan Times, 02-10-2007; Image from http://wiseshemain.wiseshe.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Biotique-Sea-Kelp-Fac e-Body-Cleansing-Gel-01.png)

21 “Marketing man speak with forked tongue”

Recently, I came across an extraordinary piece of communication. It was the announcement of some award won by a Mutual Fund (these days, awards for Mutual Funds are as ubiquitous as awards for film.) That in itself is not extraordinary – after all every industry is entitled to toot its own trumpet. But what was extraordinary was the mandatory caveat in the ad; that in mutual funds, “past performance is no assurance of future performance”. Hello! So why toot your trumpet, if what earned the toot may never happen again?! It is the equivalent of a candidate from a premier management institute handing over her cv, replete with information on various academic and co- curricular awards won, with the words, “You can see that I have had a brilliant record, but please note that this does not assure anything like a good perform- ance from me in the future”. Would you give her the job? Unlikely, I imagine. But investors are expected to regularly behave in such a manner. Even as one part of the forked tongue speaks of returns, the other says, ‘Don’t bet on it’. Though I must add that Mutual Funds are not the only ones. TV channels are full of commercials for motorbikes, in which the bike riders perform the most hair raising stunts on their machines. Showing off the terrific technical virtuosity of the assembly of nuts and bolts and sprockets and gears. But in the same breath – albeit in much smaller print – the commercial also tells you that the acrobatics have been performed by professionals and that you – yes that means you, the viewer and potential buyer – should do no such thing. It is almost as if the commercial for an ice cream, where the model is seen sensuously licking the ice cream carried a warning that the said maneuver had been performed by a professional, and that the average Sunil or Sunita should not try it.

22 Then of course there is the amazing phenomenon of music cassettes and CDs. Yes, we know music is very much a part of our culture, but it’s amazing how many liquor companies find the marketing of music cassettes and CDs such an attractive diversification activity. And of course our poor ignorant cricketers are not aware that possibly – just possibly – the eponymous alco- holic beverage may be getting promoted thanks to their endorsement of the CDs. Naah, they are all the youth icons, and stand for a clean, healthy life. Full of music. And like they say, ‘It’s your life. Make it large’. And then there’s the stuff that takes the bread roll and the bakery. The commentators on the stock market. It would be difficult to find a more optimistic bunch. When the market is moving up of course it’s all because the ‘fundamentals are strong’. And when it is the fundament of the investor that is getting whipped as the market goes down, it’s a ‘correction.’ So was it a mistake all along, if this drop is a ‘correction’? After all you only need to correct something if it was wrong. But all these things are par for the course - or the bourse - I suppose. What else can one expect in an era where the non-committal, two-sided phrase ‘…having said that…’ is routinely used by management and investment gurus to make totally contradictory statements in a matter of a few minutes. Equivocation zindabaad!

(Originally published in Hindustan Times, 07-04-2008; Image from http://www.financnitrgi.com/wp-content/uploads/trgi5.jpg)

23 Persuasion by threat

Some time ago, I met a marketer who wanted to launch a new product in a fairly crowded category.. He had no product differentiation to offer, no pricing advantage, no distribution edge, in fact nothing compelling at all to offer to the prospect. When I gently pointed out to him that in these circumstances it might be a bit difficult for him to attract customers, he told me confidently, “Sir, we have a very good winning plan to attack the pyramid’s bottom. We have the good budget, and we will use the hammering technique of the ad campaign and capture it the market share”. I don’t know if it was his English or his marketing plan that terrified me, but I politely declined to partner him in his venture. However, recent events have suggested that maybe there is something to the man’s notion of ‘the hammering technique’. Many of you may have seen a commercial for a brand of toothpaste called ‘M^&%$k’. It reminds me of the kind of miracle treatments that are sold by street salesmen who look as if they have come from Pakhtoonistan and offer herbs, lotions and potions to cure all ills and awaken sleeping libidos. The M^&%$k lady too, tells us about the miraculous effects of this brand of toothpaste. Apparently, it cures toothache, strengthens gums, freshens the breath, fights tooth decay…and I don’t recall all the details but quite possibly the lady mentioned that it is also effective against headaches, lumbago, sprains, and in certain instances has been found to relieve flatulence. And she delivers this stunning message to a crowd of terrified onlookers with such firmness that none of them has the nerve to challenge a single word – they seem quite aware that dissent will be firmly dealt with by this battle axe. Then there is the message from the clan. These three out-of- work women apparently spend their time having scintillating conversations about the joys of double filtered water. Of course one wonders why they still

24 need to assault us with word and vacuous expression about the merits of this particular brand of water filter, when one of the daughters keeps saying “sab ko pataa hai”. However, the one who played Basanti in ‘Sholay’ will not be cowed down by timid logical arguments such as the one above, and stares you in the eye asking, “Toh aap kab la rahe hain XYZ brand?” You refuse to follow her command at your own risk. And to give you one more example of this ‘advertising by terror’ school of persuasion, there is the ad featuring the one whose very presence leads to ‘Kuchh kuchh hota hai’ in the hearts of viewers. . She whose recent body of work includes work on biscuits and refrigerators, diamonds and other merchandise, has now starred in an ad that could be a potential Oscar nominee; in the form of an ad for a dentifrice (what’s this about teeth that gets spokespersons to bare their fangs?) In this piece, she starts out telling us how “every- thing changes when you have a baby” and then goes on to list the litany of benefits of a particular dental treatment miracle. She ends this spiel belligerently with the same call as her senior, “Toh aap kab la rahe hain XYZ brand?” You don’t have the nerve to tell her, “But, but, but I haven’t had a baby recently!”; she doesn’t look like she’ll take it kindly. And so, my friends, with all these violent spokespersons on air, one wonders whether my businessman friend wasn’t right after all. There certainly seems to be evidence that if not a ‘hammering’, the consumer can definitely be moti- vated by a good tongue-lashing!

(Originally published in Hindustan Times, 21-05-2008; Image from http://blog.lescaves.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/439236-Cartoon-Infomercial-Host-Holdin g-A-Buy-Or-Else-Sign-Poster-Art-Print.jpg)

25 The Existential Dilemma

The world as we know it changed on 11/09/1989, not on 9/11/2001, as the US- centric view would have it. And that is because on 9 November 1989 the Berlin Wall began to come down. Until that date, an ‘alternative view’ was possible. Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, Ken Kesey and Allen Ginsberg were idols; people wanted to live in communes not condos. Alternate views as represented by the world of ‘One flew over the cuckoo’s nest’ co-exited with capitalism. But in the rubble of the Berlin Wall lay the debris of a multi-polar world. And from it emerged a single-view world, whose religion is Globalized capitalism, who has as its deity Mammon and whose high priests are the Lords of Wall Street. So for the vast majority of upper middle class Indians today, wealth is the primary goal of life, “belling the CAT” (Common Admission Test for the Indian Institutes of Management) is the academic Holy Grail and the dream jobs are in management consultancies and investment banks. (For the group on the next lower step on the socioeconomic ladder, it is the IT sector that promises a ticket to El Dorado) Advertising of course reflects - and magnifies - elements of the prevalent so- cial ethos. So it is inevitable that advertising will celebrate the cult of wealth and make it irresistible. (Though advertising has always been caught between the Scylla of wanting to be admired for effectiveness - which means changing peoples behaviour - and the Charybdis of a fear that it will be seen as an amoral manipulator and creator of “false needs”) Witness, nonetheless, how advertising celebrates living life king-size. Kingfisher promotes the irresistibly desirable ‘good times’. Renault tells us that status has been redefined by the Fluence. Luxury brands abound. But the lure of wealth is not just flagged by advertising; media too plays its role. News features regularly tell us about Silicon Valley and other business moguls whose net worth exceeds the GDP of sub-Saharan Africa. And even promoters of companies dealing with micro-finance who talk about inclusive growth, are

26 celebrated for their wealth. And features like “The wealthiest 40 under 40” put a ‘best by’ limit on the achievement of greatness. Making it at at 50 is not really worth it. Skin creams warn terrified young women that signs of aging (yes, “aging”!) begin at 30. And one particular brand even has vari- ants for “teens”, “youth” and “25+” suggest- ing that half-way through her 20s, she’s on her way to joining the geriatric club. Watches with unpronounceable names that cost the equivalent of small flats become new objects of desire, and mobile operators tell you that if you don’t have an iPhone, well, you are basically a sad little person barely fit to be called human. (They don’t use exactly those words, but you get what I mean.) And yet, the human soul chafes under this relentless measurement of life in terms of your credit card limit, and so advertising, the final hallucinatory drug of the masses offers the ‘alternative life’. Some years ago, and Ti- tan asked the viewer to buy a ticket to an anonymous town, travel to places off the beaten track and ‘Be more’. Levi’s Curve jeans celebrated three young women taking off from their boring lives to set up a restaurant on a beach. (The beach looked like no one had visited it for years and the caper would make no sense to a VC, but it is charmingly delusional. Perhaps giving up on the restaurant, Levi’s now simply says “Go forth”.) Smirnoff beckons a young man standing in a window with tempting images of carnival dancers, space travelers and hard rock aficionados, asking, “Life is calling, where are you?” Tata Safari urges the CEO to forsake his corner office and go climb a mountain (in the SUV of course) to reclaim his life. But all these escapades also require significant amount of wampum. So its confusing: should I quit the rat race? Or should I do unto others before they do unto me, and move ahead?

27 As Woody Allen wrote: "We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice." Amen.

( O r i g i n a l l y p u b l i s h e d o n a f a q s . c o m , 1 8 - 0 9 - 2 0 1 1 ; I m a g e f r o m http://www.timesofchitral.com/2013/03/the-worlds-youngest-billionaires-29.html)

28 Consumers @ the speed of tech

Think for a moment: How much channel surfing do you think a TV viewer would do, if he had to get up from his seat and go across the room every time he had to switch to a new channel? Choose from: Extensive / Limited / Zero. Similarly, once a person has got used to a car with an AC, how likely do you think it is that he will want to travel in a non-air conditioned bus from Mumbai to say, Pune? Choose from: Unlikely / Improbable / Are you crazy. The fact is, our expectations and behaviour are changed by our experience. Which of course is a self-evident truth. Except that there is a new dimension to this ‘learning behaviour’ that is fascinating; which is that we now transfer this learning behaviour across different aspects in our lives. When we experience that one restaurant accepts a credit card, we not only expect other restaurants to accept credit cards, we also expect shoe stores and booksellers and jewelry stores to accept them. When we get used to escalators in malls, we expect esca- lators in all public spaces. These changes in our expectations have been gradual for the most part. Credit cards have been around for a couple of decades, but we don’t necessarily get our garter belts in a knot if some establishments don’t accept them. We understand too, that escalators are neither universal nor a fundamental human right. However, there is something much more far-reaching that is taking place, which is that our fundamental assumptions about a vast number of things that we do, are being shaped by our experience of technology. Once upon a time, there was a phenomenon known as ‘booking a trunk call’ if you wanted to speak to someone in another city. And too, there were various species of the trunk call: ordinary, PP, urgent, lightning, demand, and there may well have been others. Anyone over 45 probably recalls them. On the other hand, a 10-year old today is blissfully unaware of this historical practice, and without a second thought, direct dials a number on his father’s mobile phone to speak to an aunt in Cincinnati.

29 Likewise, looking at the dozens of models of desktops, laptops, tablets, smart phones and more on display at a Croma, it is hard to remember that not so long ago, you switched on a computer and used arcane instructions such as “copy /a alpha.txt + beta.txt gamma.txt” and “ren c:\"Documents and Set- tings"\"All Users"\Desktop\filex.txt filey.txt”. (Today you just drag, drop and swipe icons; and soon we will merely wiggle our fingers to get devices to do many things, including possibly an item number to the strains of ‘Chikni cha- meli’.) But these situations were encountered in times when ‘technology’ was just an ingredient of something else. So valve technology in radios which meant that you switched on a radio and waited patiently for the valves to glow to life, gave way to solid state circuits with transistors, which meant that you could switch on your radio and start assaulting your neighbors’ ears with loud music instantaneously. As another example, CRT technology in TV sets gave way to LCD and Plasma technology, and then to HD-TV, Smart TV and now 3-D TV technology. But come the millennium, we began to see technology not as an ingredient, but as something captivating in and of itself. Programs like Gadget Guru, Tech Toyz and Click exist because we are fascinated by technology per se! Moore’s Law has suggested that technology changes at an increasingly rapid rate in that “the number of transistors that can be placed inexpensively on an integrated circuit doubles approximately every 18 months." The premise of this essay is that our adoption of rapid changes in the world of technology also changes our view as consumers in all areas of our lives. Consider some of the ways in which we are being changed by our interactions with technology; ways that marketers will need to think about in the days ahead. The end of “sasta” v/s “achha”?: This is possibly the biggest change brought about by our romance with technology. In days gone by, the directly proportional relationship of price and quality was self-evident. In the 1980s, Surf‘s Lalitaji enunciated the ultimate truth of consumer belief when she said, “Sasti cheez aur achhi cheez me farq hota hai” (Translation: ‘there is a (clear) difference between cheap stuff and quality stuff’) However, what happens to our view of this price-quality equation, when see that we can get a mobile

30 phone / laptop this year, that is much cheaper and at the same time, is also far superior in every way to the one we bought last year?! Goodbye Lalita-logic, and a simple thumb rule of marketing is gone! The shrinking cone of time: A second significant transformation that is taking place is in our concept of ‘reasonable speed of service’. As broadband availability and 3G speeds increase, and we get used to idea of live streaming, our expectations of transaction time change drastically. If we can download email at super fast rates, and can have Google generate zillions of results in fractions of a second, it follows that we want to be able to open a bank account in minutes, we want the girl at the check-out counter to be able to scan our purchases and print the bill in seconds, maybe we want to even do the one-minute-waltz in 45 seconds! Could this even be behind the incessant honking at traffic signals when even someone with three grey cells can see that it is not going to achieve any- thing? Or the irritated expressions when your call is not answered immediately? And what does this imply for managing customer expectations and de- livering satisfaction at a check-out counter in a store? Or at a check-in counter at an airport. Reduced attention spans: Following the relent- less chain of Einstein-ian logic, if time is squeezed, can space be far behind? A reasonable regular- length article used to be about 1,500- 2,000 words long (this one is about 1,700 words). But then we were told that this was too long for a blog, which should be restricted to 200-300 words. And then came Twitter, inventing the term “microblogging” to persuade you to express profound, perspicacious thoughts in 140 characters. And of course there is the literary form known as the status update which can be even shorter (“Had a falafel ... awesome!”). The question raised by these developments is that if the receivers of messages be- come more and more used to ‘micro messaging’, how long should brands take

31 to get to the point? Does the squeezing of communication into smaller and smaller ‘spaces’ affect our desire - and perhaps even ability - to absorb lengthy messages? We are already seeing it happen. Once upon a time, a message for a cool brand was 12 words long: ‘Charms is the spirit of freedom. Charms is the way you are.’ Now, MTV is content to say it in two words: ‘Stay raw.’ Lakme stops at one: ‘Reinvent’. Rate of change leading to expectation of “Version N.m”: Luxury watches (‘Haute Horologie’ to the cognoscenti) may be among the few product categories in which provenance has any cachet (‘Breguet; since 1775’). Other- wise it’s mostly about, “what’s the next new thing?” Among the concepts born of technology that have become part of our everyday language, is the notion of ‘versions’ and ‘generations’. We encounter a potpourri of alpha numerals as we follow the arrival of web 3.0, and the Apple iPhone 4S, and Android 4.0, and 3G technology. Perhaps consumers expect new versions of everything, at the same pace! Consider the plethora of new models that automobile brands launch every year: the difference is quite superficial in many ways since, as an engineer told me, the internal combustion engine has remained pretty much the same for 100 years! Our appetite for new models, being whetted by newer tech specs in operating systems, product versions and software updates, are likely to influence the life cycle of products as varied as apparel, kitchen appli- ances and menus in restaurants. Zara has already parlayed its ability to rapidly introduce new collections into a worldwide super-success. The morphogenesis of brands: Finally, there is the rapid morphogene- sis of brands that is inevitable when they deal with technology. The changes in technology in fact force brands in those fields to innovate, adapt and evolve ... often into new generations that bear scant resemblance to their ancestors. And those that don’t morph - die. Kodak is the most recent example. But there have been others such as Grundig. Telefunken. Bush. TDK cassettes. On the other hand, Apple moved from computers to music to phones to TV; Google has moved from search to email to maps to mobile operating systems to mobile phones. It also indicates the willingness of consumers to accept new initiatives from the same brand - often far removed from the brand’s earlier areas of op- eration. It is perhaps a sign of things to come (if they haven’t arrived already) to see Mahindra in everything from tractors and utility vehicles to the XUV

32 500 to realty to retail to holidays. For Reliance to be a petrochemical company that became a mobile service that became a supermarket that became a jewelry store and so on. In sum, in a paraphrase of the words from Genesis 1:27, one could say that ‘technology shall create consumers in its own image’, and in the years ahead, the rate of change of technology will become the ‘default rate’ for change in us as consumers. Thus I propose my own eponymous Andy’s Corollary to Moore’s Law: The number of changes that we will want as consumers in anything and every- thing we use, will double approximately every 18 months. And bye now, I really must go and download that new app that was launched three hours ago.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 18-02-2012: Image from http://www.afaqs.com/news/story/33995_Metamorphosis)

33 The youth market is older than you think

In the past few years, India’s ‘demographic dividend’ and data on how young the country’s population is, have filled many press articles and management consultant report. It has been said that India has more than 50% of its popula- tion below the age of 25 and more than 65% below the age of 35 (some reports go so far as to say that, as of last night, 3.6% of our population is actually just a gleam in a young couple’s eyes.) But let’s remember this fascination with youth is hardly new. Fifty years ago, Hindi films of the 1960s regularly had the hero graduating from college and coming home with a ‘first class first’ result. Only to hear his mother (played by Sulochana or Nirupa Roy) take her foot momentarily off the sewing machine pedal she was attacking vigorously and say, “Beta, ab tum bas bahu ghar me lao, to mai teerth yatra pe chali jaaun.” Her male counterpart was the heroine’s father (Nasir Hussain) who bleated tremulously to his daughter how he was only waiting to “tumhare haath peele kar duun”, after which he would shuffle off the mortal coil. Now, even if these two were late starters, their kids were in their early 20s...they couldn’t have been the 300-year olds they acted like, for God’s sake! But the point was clear: This was no country for old men and women. So it is hardly surprising today to find every marketing Tom, Dick and Harry say how they want to focus on the youth segment. But let’s just hold our hormones for a moment, and look at some more data on population. The 65+ population in India - though only 5% of the total - is 60 million in absolute numbers. That is about the total population of France, Italy or the UK. Larger than South Africa or Spain. Much larger than that of Canada, Malaysia or Australia. This piece is not about world population data. But to point out that perhaps the blind infatuation with the youth segment is just that: blind. Who do you think is buying luxury products? BMWs, Audis, Mercedes? Who is traveling business class? Taking premium holidays? Who is buying boats? Second homes? Single malts? Fine wines? Not the 19-year old for sure. 34 Actually there was a milestone that India passed in 1994, which was not noted enough. ‘Hum aapke hain kaun’ was released that year and apart from the gorgeous , showcased a very attractive Reema Lagoo - and she was the hero’s mother! (Yummy enough for to flirt with quite blatantly). In one fell swoop of make-up and mascara, the lively older man and woman had replaced the doddering Nirupa Roys and Nasir Hussains. Things have only moved further over the years, and no one wants to go off on a “teerth yatra”. The ‘saas’ in a TV serial is as dolled up as her ‘bahu’, there are as many 45-plus women on page 3 as nymphets and Shobha De looks quite wonderful even into her 60s. The point is that the world has learnt to be youthful. Its not about a ‘youth segment’ defined by age, but about retain- ing youthfulness at all stages of life. The saucy young thing in the mobile phone TVC may call the older chap ‘uncull’, but one just has to look at Hugh Hefner, Rupert Murdoch, Salman Rushdie (not to mention the Salman Khans, Michael Douglases and others) and their nubile companions to see that the sugar daddy market is doing very well, thank you. The guy in his 60’s who in earlier years wore a pyjama-kurta, is now at a joggers park in Levis and Nikes. His female counterpart has just got her Botox treatment (just like the 30-year old woman.) And while the youngster is seeking out low prices on yatra.com and snapdeal, the Sr VP in his 40’s is planning to buy his next car. It is said one must fish where the fish are. And the fact is that ‘youth’ is a transient, impecunious stage, but youthfulness pulls out the Platinum credit card and has no ‘Best By’ date.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 07-10-2012: Image from http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1323306/thumbs/r-MIDDLE-AGE-COUPLE-large570.jpg?7_)

35 Availability as the root of aspirations

Diesel, Nike, Zara, Swarovski, TAG Heuer. A friend and I were in a mall the other day observing stores selling these brands, and we got around to discuss- ing which brands were the equivalent of these objects of desire in the 1980s. We were struck by the recollection that there were few or none. We were not spiritually more evolved; we were content because there was limited content on shop shelves! It is practically impossible to dream about cars when the choice is restricted to an Ambassador or a Premier Padmini. What kind of shoe fetish can blossom if availability is limited to Carona and Bata. And this has led me to develop a theory that turns received wisdom on its head. My theory being: It is not the more demanding consumer that leads to marketers offering greater choice, but the reverse: it is an abundance of choice that actually CREATES the new consumer mindset. Let us consider how availability is the mother of aspiration. Availability leads to aspirations Look at the wide-ranging spread of availability even beyond the cars and shoes that I already mentioned. In the 1970s and even 1980s, the primary employment was in Government service, because there was hardly anything called the ‘private sector’. Career exploration thus led to Central Services such as the IAS, IPS, the IAAS, etc. or to public sector jobs in large core sector companies (BHEL, IOC, ONGC, etc) or nationalized banks (of course there were doctors and lawyers but these were career options limited in number.) 36 The growth of the private sector, the entry of MNCs and the emergence of sectors such as IT in the 1990s led to a wider availability of young men known in the matrimonial trade as ‘corporate executives’ and created the aspiration for this species as ‘good quality grooms’ among parents of prospective brides. Or take another example. A ‘home of one’s own’ was not an aspiration; it was a hope that you’d have one - if you were lucky- by the time you retired. But with the availability of housing loans, owning a house became an achievable driving aspiration for millions of young professionals. And of course the same power of availability driving aspiration is visible in categories as varied as designer handbags, watches with unpronounceable names (such as Audemars Piguet and Vacheron Constantin) and let’s face it, gifting a Lord Ganesha figure is just not the same if it isn’t a Lladro or a crystal Swarovski. Upgrades lead to the desire to 'move on' There is another interesting change created not by mere availability, but by the availability of an ‘upgraded’ version. Comes the upgrade, and pow! some- thing that is doing its job perfectly well becomes a symbol of shame. To be sure, in some cases upgrades offer genuine improvements in the capabilities of the product. Think of CRT TVs becoming flat screen TVs becoming smart TVs. Or mobile phones, which - together with apps - continue to add capabilities at an alarming rate. (Has the new Apple phone, “iEat”, that makes a fried egg with a side order of toast, been launched yet?) But the Fastrack bags and eyewear, refrigerators with a temperature indicator in the door or with a door design borrowed from brocade fabric. Do we really need these? Of course we do!!! New concepts lead to new purchases The third element driving desire is that entirely new, novel product ideas have us reaching for the plastic. Some don’t work. Vacuum cleaners become dust collectors via non-use. Home barbeque grills bought after an especially tasty order of seekh kababs one day, now rust on the terrace. But there are also lots of genuinely useful new concepts: microwave ovens, smart phones, 2- minute noodles, digital cameras, RTE packaged foods and more.

37 One more effect of availability: in a paradoxical way, the very fact of greater consumer choice makes the entire consumer universe more demanding, thus reducing the attractiveness of ALL current options and creating the desire for more! People in showbiz and wealthy men and women are connoisseurs of these matters and not averse to consider upgrades and move on. Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis would understand. Aah, availability is such a wonderful thing!

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 11-02-2013; Image from http://www.livemint.com/rf/Image-621x414/LiveMint/Period1/2012/11/05/Photos/retail--621x41 4.JPG)

38 Section II: Brands & Branding

39 Jaane kahan gaye wo din...

(One always hears stories about how wonderful things used to be in the 'old days'. Even someone who graduated in 2008 tells the student of today how great things were, 'back in the early 2000's'. This piece is guided by nostalgia, and hence could have had the above filmi title) Let me say this at the outset, This piece was inspired by nostalgia. But the nostalgia itself was brought on by something I recently saw on television. Now, as we know, television is a wonderful medium. It brings to us in this modern day, stories of heroism and drama and glorious kings from the pages of history. It brings to us sitting in comfort, tales of wild and dangerous beasts living in savage forests and swamps from the diaries of adventurers. And it brings to us on talk shows, the people who are mainly well known for being famous, from pages (mainly page 3) of the tabloids and the morning newspaper. But that was not what I wanted to talk about. No, I wanted to talk about a girl I saw on TV. A perfectly ordinary looking young girl; not much better and by no means worse-looking than your average college student in Mumbai or Delhi or Bangalore. With a nice vacuous expression and the smooth brow of someone whose forehead has never been furrowed by the rigors of thought. Per- fectly common, you observe. Nothing unusual there, you say. And you are right. Except that this girl was being described (in the promo for a forthcoming film, which is where I saw her), as 'India's next heartthrob'. (Or maybe they said 'India's next heartburn'. I know it was one of the two). But that is not the point. The point is that I am as much for hyperbole as the next person, but this 'bole' was too ridiculous. Because here you have something that is yet to see the light of day, being touted as the next solar flare. And that got me wondering about which brands might have suffered a similar fate. And what caused it. And whether some of today's star brands might be at similar risk. So I looked back a few years. It could have been seven years. Or 15 or 18 years. But since I was in a film-inspired mood, I have looked back 20 years. So here is a look at some brands that were: 40 Bees saal baad And I did one thing more. I did not just look at any old brands that existed 20 years ago; I looked at brands whose advertising had won at the Advertising Club Bombay awards. And there were some interesting things that one saw. (Now I realize that many of the younger readers of this piece may have been no more than a gleam in a parent's eye at that time, and other more mature ones may have been in kindergarten, but these observations are being shared with the thought that if we don't remember history, we run the risk of repeating it. Or at the very least, the risk of not winning anything on the next quiz show on CNBC TV 18.) Corporate capers The first thing that struck me was the demise of brands whose only sin was that they happened to belong to companies that were acquired by others, and eventually not found worthy of being supported. First up, we have Pond's shampoo (Award & Category: Runner up in the Press, Languages, Consumer products category). As I recall, this was a decent enough brand, with relatively greater popularity in the South, but has since been discontinued. Ask yourself, whether the brand you are working on would be similarly treated if the company was bought out. Another brand suffering the same fate was Super 777 washing bar (Radio, Consumer products). Gone the way of not just weak acquired brands, but also done in by the decline of the washing bar category and the company itself. A third brand, which was quite strong in audio products was Akai Bush (TV spots, Consumer products cate- gory). Akai has changed hands. Bush as a brand is no more. And of course the combination brand is history. Technology maar gayi One of the biggest causes of brands losing out over time has been changes in technology. Or rather, the inability of the brands to keep pace with the changes in technology. Network Electronic typewriters (Press, English, Industrial products) was a representative of a category that vanished with the growth of word processors, but what is important to note I think is that none of the typewriter brands is

41 now a contender in word processors or even in peripherals such as keyboards. TVS 50 XL (Press, English, Consumer durables) was a representative of an- other category that vanished under the growth of category changes, as mopeds disappeared from the roads. Niky Tasha was a range of home appliances (Press, English, Consumer durables) including gas ranges and washing machines, but which is not to be seen any more. In this case, I think the issue was more than technological change. Marlex, Sunflame and others have survived in gas stoves and washing machines are a growing category. I suspect there were some brands which suffered because they were positioned - at least in communication - at an impossibly premium level. Niky Tasha was probably one of them. (It called a gas cooking range a ‘kitchenette’ and its washing machine a ‘launderette’.) Another brand which was similarly over-pitched, was one which offered a combination of a kitchen sink and draining board; and was advertised as the one Yves Saint Laurent would use if he was doing the dishes. And I remember thinking that the poor prospect in Goregaon or Gurgaon would probably have never heard of the good citizen, nor be able to pronounce his name, nor even be sure whether it was a piece of equipment or a pilgrimage destination. I don't see that brand around either. The technology threat applies to all kinds of products. What are mobile phones with cameras doing to photographic film? What are scanners and jpeg files doing to the humble fax? And so on. Survival of the fittest The third set of brands I saw (and for whom we must observe a respectful minute of silence) are the ones that lost out simply because Darwin said so. Crompton TV (Press, English, Consumer durables), Cema bulbs (TV, Press, Consumer products) Cadbury's Krisp (Press, English, Consumer products),

42 Pizza King (Cinema, Services) were simply beaten by competition who did a better job. Crompton ventured into a field it did not know, and it got there late. Cadbury's Krisp gave way to other brands, many from within the family, but then such is the case in categories such as confectionery, candy and chocolates. And Pizza King was simply checkmated by international giants. The threat from competition is more of a danger today than ever before of course. If only Then there are brands which were successful, had good customer franchise, a solid reputation; in fact a whole lot going for them, but did not make the most of what they had. Enfield (Press, English, Consumer durables) was clearly an icon, but lost out when 100 cc bikes changed the complexion of the two-wheeler industry in India. (Bajaj too was hit by this development strong as it was in scooters, but has fought back. As has Enfield.) Bata (TV, Consumer products) was the ubiquitous, almost generic term for branded footwear, and yet is a brand which looks increasingly unsure about what it is today. Is it a retail chain? Maybe, because I see lots of other brands in their showrooms. But then what about Bata's own shoes? Are they leaders in making school uniform shoes? Or rainy weather shoes? Or what? There were Eagle flasks (Radio, Consumer durables). A generic name for vacuum flasks. Familiar to listeners of Vividh Bharti's sponsored programs through the voice of Pandit Sharma as 'Inspector Eagle' who took off - along with an Eagle flask and accompanied by his faithful 'Havaldar Naik'. And then there were Vareli fabrics (Cinema, Consumer products), shown in some of the most memorable advertising films of the day with an impossibly exotic Persis Khambatta playing catch me if you can with a mysterious stranger who said to her in little messages, "You fascinate me". Some things that never change There is of course one category where the more things change the more they seem to remain the same. I speak of course about detergents. The winner in the Press, English, Consumer products category in that year was 'Power Packed Surf'. After all these years, we still see Advanced White Rin, and 'Ultra's, and

43 'Stain Champions' and so on. Well, at least this category doesn't do anything startlingly different that might unsettle and upset a nervous consumer. Lambi race ke ghode And finally, there are the long-term winners. And I salute them. NIIT won in the Press, English, Services category and continues today to be the undisputed leader in IT teaching. Raymond fabrics won in Press, English, Consumer products and is still among the most respected brands in its field. Parachute (Press, Languages, Consumer products), is still the leader in hair oils and hair care. And Asian Paints (Campaign of the year) is still the paint brand that more people turn to than any other. The threat of your company being acquired, the inability to see technology change and to adapt to the changes, the redefinition of entire categories that make brands vulnerable, the inflow of international brands; are these really unimaginable? Of course not. And all the examples of brands we saw just now were not small, inconsequential brands; they were brands whose advertising was award winning stuff. That might be worth keeping in mind as we put those trophies in conference rooms and on shelves. That awards are not a premium for an insurance policy against time, the forces of the marketplace or the fickle consumer's uncertain affections. In closing I am reminded of another filmi anecdote (In the fitness of things I suppose, since I started with a filmi scenario). A reporter from a film journal once asked Dev Anand about a certain actor who was making waves with his success, and whether Dev Saab thought the actor was a superstar. Dev Anand sa’ab apparently said, "Ask this question twenty years later, and you will know the answer yourself". Ditto for brands.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 13-10-2004; Image from http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2011/04/26/typewriter-86443616e4b9d42a48c071a738914e036 049abea-s6-c30.jpg

44 Everyone wants to be a brand

M/s Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co, have a lot to answer for. Their leveraged buyouts in the 1980s created a long-lasting interest in the enormous value of 'brands'. But even they could not have imagined just how much this business of brands would infiltrate the life of people in the years to come. It’s turned so bad now that not only is every thing you use - from toes to topknot - a brand, every- one too is a brand! The word, like a malevolent air-borne virus, is everywhere. It permeates all conversation and all walks of life. So it is not uncommon to hear of a certain cricketer's 'brand' of cricket or a TV producer's 'brand' of TV soaps (the TV shows produced by the reigning Queen of soaps having taken over the mantle of lather from Lux as the 'Beauty soaps of the stars'). The B-word is now also widely used by giggly, breathless girl-reporters, as they report from fashion shows and gasp at the unwearable offerings of 'brands' of gelled, pedicured and manicured designers. Serious-faced reporters on business TV channels use it as they discuss a businessman's 'brand' of management. And entertainment pages are full of interviews where effete directors talk about their 'brand' of films. You got it: today, everything and everyone is a brand. So perhaps it is time to consider the typology and the myriad dimensions of this phenomenon. Acquiring brand-hood The first thing to remember is that while everyone is a brand, some are born brands, some acquire brand-hood and others have branding thrust upon them. Abhishek Bachchan is an obvious case of a born brand; given his celebrated genetic configuration, it could not have been otherwise. So too are sundry other star-progeny. And the progenitors could be actors, businessmen, politicians; in essence anyone who himself/herself has a claim to being a brand.

45 The baby-later-known-as-Suri, manufactured by Tom Cruise and Katie Hol- mes is even more so: she was a brand before she was even born! She could be the first case in recorded history of being a 'branded foetus'. Others acquire brand-hood. Dhoni acquired 'branded' status thanks to his swashbuckling style. So did Sehwag. Both acquired it fairly soon after they were launched, so to say. Dravid took longer. He had to lay the foundation for a long time, before he could become the brand we know as 'The Wall'. And then of course there are the ones who have branding thrust upon them. Perhaps I should say that co-branding is thrust upon them. M. Night Shymalan has no particular desire to be co-branded with India, but journalists will insist on finding some way of describing him so that he becomes a co-branded entity: 'Of Indian origin' or 'India-born' are common mechanisms employed to do this. Others want to do the same to Bobby Jindal, though what he wants is to belong to the co-branded 'American' in the 'Senator' product category. We want to do it to VS Naipaul too, even though in his case, the tenuous link for such co-branding became defunct several generations ago. And the most recent case of branding being thrust upon someone is the strange case of the actor- who-claims-he-is-not. This has been revealed in a newspaper report which says that tax authorities have contacted Feroz Khan who was seen playing the 'brand ambassador' in an advertisement for chewables. But in a Garbo-esque desire for anonymity, he has apparently protested that it wasn't him at all! Me-too brands If it happens in business, it will happen in life. A new 'product category' came into being with the invention of the term, 'item song'. Barely (pun in- tended) had Shefali Jariwala and Meghna Naidu gyrated and bit their lips in music videos to achieve brand-hood, that an entire shipment of me-too brands arrived; the same pudgy midriff, the same lascivious look, the same absence of any sign of intelligence disturbing their expression. Rakhi Sawant is only a more recent specimen of the me-too brands of exposed adipose tissue. In an earlier era these buxom brands were associated with specific types of textiles. Who can forget the entire batch of fabric softeners represented by Silk Smitha, Nylex Nalini and others? But the trend died out, before others like Rexine and Kevlar Kavitha could make their mark.

46 Relevant and irrelevant tag-lines If Nike has 'Just do it' and Asian Paints has 'Har ghar kuchh kehta hai', person-brands too want or are given tag-lines or product descriptors. And there are some people brands whose tag-lines are as memorable as these examples. On the other hand, ‘sexy new starlet’ or ‘volcano of talent’ are completely ineffective in clearly identifying a specific person. Here then, is a short quiz on People-Brand lines and descriptors: Q1: Who is known as ‘India's liquor baron’? Q2: Which actor was called the 'Thespian'? Q3: Who is often called 'The world's richest man'? Q4: Who is called the 'Sarod Maestro'? If you got Vijay Mallya, Dilip Kumar, Bill Gates and right, it goes to show that these brands have come to own certain specific properties or descriptors. But not everyone can have such exclusive rights to entire product categories. Nevertheless there are other ways to gain differentiation. So while Sunil Gavaskar was 'The Little Master', Sachin Tendulkar became the 'Master Blaster'. However, these epithets get used equally often in valid and invalid situations. For example, it may be appropriate to say "Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar scored a quick- fire 45 off just 23 balls," but it is a bit much to put a caption on a picture from his birthday party with the words, "Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar about to cut his birthday cake," the use of the term ‘Master Blaster’ here suggesting that he is shortly going to bludgeon the baked item with his weighty willow.

47 This irrelevant use of a descriptor has broken new ground in the case of a certain tennis player. It is not uncommon to read that, "The Hyderabadi lass fought well in the second set." What does her play have to do with where she is from? Do we want reports saying, “And the Ichalkaranji boy announced that he would be launching a new banking software package”? Or that “The 24- Parganas danseuse performed the Mohiniattam with grace"? Of course such mere irrelevance pales in comparison to the positively, paradoxical bizarre, as in "The teen sensation was thrashed 2-6, 3-6 in the first round of the..." Borrowed branding And then there is 'borrowed-branding'. It was, I suspect, invented to grant memorability to perfectly forgettable ladies in their launch stage in films. Kiera Knightly was relatively unknown and had to be propped up as the 'Bend it like Beckham beauty'. After she got a role in a more successful film she became the 'Pirates of the Caribbean beauty'. And you have 'Lara Croft beauty Angelina Jolie' and 'Spiderman beauty Kirsten Dunst' and so on. You will have noted that the word 'beauty' is used quite liberally. But there are times when even jaded reporters know it would be going too far to call someone a beauty; so these days the word 'hotel heiress' is being employed as a substitute, to provide some borrowed branding to a vacuous party, although her name itself borrows from a capital city and the hospitality industry. But the most extreme cases of borrowed - or what might be called 'attributed' - branding are to be found in Page 3 coverage. Consider for example the number of people who are branded 'Socialite'. The term is used as if it represents a philosophic orientation, like 'Luddite' or 'Trotskyite'; or a species of animal life like 'Troglodyte'. In fact, it only means, "We know this person is rich, but we really don't know if the said person actually does anything other than attend parties." (NOTE: Some of them are of course, reputed to have designing abilities and design 'their own clothes' or 'jewelry') The other self-referential branding term is 'Page 3 regular' that is used in items on - you guessed it - Page 3. This term does not even necessarily suggest wealth. It merely means, "Apart from the fact that this person appears to be famous for being well known, we know little or nothing about him/her". Names such as Preeti J. and Kim S. come to mind in this context.

48 And thus it is in the fitness of things that the term 'poster boy' has come to be employed as a part of the strategy to launch various citizens as brands. And if some of the posters look a bit frayed fairly quickly, well, you know what they say about the short life cycle of brands in the 21st century.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 06-11-2006; http://www.techbuzzer.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/microsoft.jpg)

49 Blurred vision

‘Corporate branding’ has been the subject of much interest recently. Numerous articles have extolled how strong corporate brands result in better efficiency, better returns and attracting better talent.

Yet, the way many corporate brands are managed suggests grandstanding more than grounded thinking.

For starters, let us consider what a brand would be all about. A consumer brand like Eureka Forbes would say we are all about purity. And we deliver this through our water purifiers and vac- uum cleaners. Or a brand like Saffola might say it is about heart care - and that it delivers it through cholesterol-fighting oils and other foods. Corporations on the other hand, believe they must have lofty, life-altering missions and visions. But do they mean anything beyond the plaque behind the receptionist?

20/20 Vision The fact is, a brand can’t be everything - whether it is a product or a corpora- tion. A corporation must be guided by the clarity of a focussed vision, just as a product must offer a clear customer proposition. Consider this: the mother of all organizations” - a country. I admire enormously the simple clarity of what drives the USA; their Declaration of Independence says: We hold these Truths to be self-evident that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

50 Now, an extract from an election manifesto for an Indian political party: “... to ensure equal opportunity for all... especially for education and skill de- velopment with special affirmative action for deprived sections of society... without prejudice to any religion, caste, creed, community, region, sex or status... good governance and a stable government, development oriented, transparent and corruption-free... overall development including the weaker sections of the society... a better life for them, better housing facilities, better food, better clothing, facilities for giving better education for their children, and better health facilities... more employment generation schemes... a demo- cratic secular society wedded to equality and social justice as well committed to preserve the unity and integrity of our country.”

Before you criticize politicians, please note some examples of equally florid ‘all inclusive’ Vision statements (with minor changes to camouflage them) from two very large Indian corporations. Exhibit One: “We shall ... Indian multinational, professionally-managed and committed to total customer satisfaction and enhancing shareholder value. We ... an empowered, entrepreneurial and innovative team constantly creating value and attaining global benchmarks. ... foster a culture of continuous learning, caring, and trust while meeting expec- tations of employees ... and society.”

Exhibit Two: “To delight ... beyond expectation (using) improved technology, ingenious strategy ... entrepreneurship, innovative products ... marketing and ... thinking about the future.”

If they were participating in a beauty contest, the only thing to add would be “... and world peace”! When a brand - or a company - attempts to be every- thing, it risks becoming nothing. The cliches of corporate-speak

Moreover, all corporate brands are obsessed with the same potpourri of ideas: Striving for excellence... Employee growth... Passion... Innovation.

51 The Eureka Forbes promise of purity means they will produce next, cheaper or more effective purifiers (this itself allows for enough new product ventures); not hare off and produce a shoe polish or a set of hair clips.

What do the corporate cliches lead to?

Do we see platoons of staff, driven by passion, innovating furiously, bringing miraculous new products to market? Hardly. The new is usually the old, with a few new bells and whistles.

Or, if long term corporation-employee relationships are valuable, why are the rewards for long-service so rare or pitiful?

Or, take the behaviour of leaders. ‘Sustainability’ is an empty word if the CEO drives a Hummer.

Or look at hiring people. Everyone hires similar ninja-killer-alpha-males. And then wonders why they don’t make good team players.

Accountable corporate brands Perhaps it’s time for a new metric specific to corporate brands. And that is: Stakeholder satisfaction. Brand managers of consumer brands are accountable for results. And Customer satisfaction indices tell them what needs to be fixed. We must make CXOs accountable to all stakeholders (not just stock-market shylocks) and hold them responsible for meeting ‘targets’ of governance, trans- parency, etc. Otherwise hallucinatory corporate brand statements will continue to create a deluge of platitudes that sweep away everything else, leaving behind only the slushy detritus of cliches.

(Originally published in Hindustan Times, 29-09-2009; http://freesampleinindia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/eureka_aquaguard-free-demo.jpg)

52 Pretense and reality: The brand is the behaviour, not the communication

There is an oft-repeated possibly apocryphal story, about the commitment to customer satisfaction at Nordstrom, the famous US retailer. The story goes that the brand is so strongly committed to its ‘No questions asked’ returns policy, that when a person brought in a product that had not even been bought at Nordstrom, they refunded the purchase amount to him. No questions asked. Now, that is commitment to customer satisfaction. And indeed, as we are avail of more and more services (retailing, hospitality, airlines, etc), we realize that what matters far more is what a brand does, not what it says. Here are just a few recent examples of the gap between words and action that show the real intent of the players. On the ground I was at a multiplex last week. When I came out, I saw a car parked next to a bus stop, with some shopping bags in the front passenger seat, and no sign of a driver. Given these times of terror threats, I asked the guard standing nearby (wearing a blue uniform, with an American-cop-style baton tucked into his waistband), why he had allowed this and wasn’t he going to call the police or have it towed away, since it could be dangerous. “No”, said the worthy. His impeccable logic for inaction being that, “the parking has been done on the road, and that is the BMC’s area”. The embroidered words on his uniform said “XYZ Security Services”, but his behaviour clearly demonstrated that XYZ was not providing any ‘security serv- ice’. Their man, unflappably brain-dead, is unable to understand that shrapnel does not care where it is parked.

53 In the air On airlines, cabin crew, an otherwise noble species, is of course trained to deliver their spiel in incomprehensible language. Beginning with “Deviyon aur Sajjanon”, they proceed to ask us to tie our “kursi ki peti” (can’t they just call it a belt?) going on to tell us that “mobile phones should be kept in the power off mode”. Verbosity being the soul of the half-wit, they reject the simpler option of asking you to “switch off mobile phones”. They do say though that you should not switch it on, until the “seat belt sign is switched off”. Of course, most passengers switch on their mobiles and vocal cords as soon the plane lands, while the crew stands around smiling beatifically. Now, either the phones in their ‘power on’ mode are really a safety hazard, in which case the airline must enforce the rule, or they are not, in which case they should stop the needless announcements. And in politics To begin with, Vilasrao Deshmukh and R.R.Patil tried to talk their way out of their failure in protecting Mumbai during the terror attacks last November. And then began the blame game, and the question of who would take the rap. But even before the embers of the funeral pyres turned cold, the supporters of ’s new CM-to-be began 'celebrating' his selection (even before any official announcement had been made, one may add) Again, words versus action. And the twain seldom seem to meet. Actions speak louder The above is not just a cliché, it is a signal that in the 21st century, what will matter is what you do, not what you say. And if you do say something, then of course, the customer will expect you to act accordingly. Brands can use all the hyperbole they want in communication, but the customer will demand that the brand demonstrate its words in actions. On a lighter note, a Sahara Airlines may thus say, “Emotionally yours”, but the demanding customer will then expect the pilot to have a lump in his throat

54 as he informs you about flight delays, and certainly could legitimately feel disappointed if the air hostess did not weep inconsolably and clutch him to her bosom, as she said goodbye when he disembarked. But more seriously, brands have to start recognizing that in a world where twitter, social networks and sms spread facts at the speed of a thumb, brands can no longer hide behind words.

(Originally published in Campaign India, January 2009; http://vector.me/files/images/4/4/44718/sahara_airlines.png)

55 Tattoos on arms do not an iconic brands make A brand consultant sometimes feels like a psychoanalyst, as a marketer’s eyes glaze over and he begins to share his deepest secret desires, his dreams, even his fantasies. How he thinks he is actually Napoleon. (Or Bill Gates or Richard Branson.) One tries to understand the man’s underlying obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety neurosis or schizoid isolation that drive him. Recently I had to put on my psychoanalyst hat to interpret a prospective new client’s words: “I want to create an Iconic brand”. Huh? Blame it on management literature The problem begins with the fact that there are far too many books that make everything achievable by formula: ‘Seven habits of successful people’, ‘Good to great’, ‘How to turn reluctant consumers into blobs of putty in your hands’ (ok, I made up the last one.) The point is, these books make it sound so easy. The message is ‘Read my book, and you may go forth and be fruitful’. Or at least become insanely successful. One of the recent buzz-words has been ‘Iconic brands’. So now, everyone wants his own ‘iconic’ brand’ like a personal trainer or something. Cart before the hearse They read about Harley Davidson and men tattooing the logo on their arms, and begin to dream of having their own brand name adorn the customers’ body parts.

56 They hear about the awe in which Apple fans listen to Steve Jobs at Macworld, and they start imagining their own fruit in Technicolor. They forget the simple fundamental truth, that ‘Iconic brands’ are not the output of a desire. They are the result and consequence of everything you do consistently over the years. Let us begin with just the definition of the word. An icon is “someone or something widely admired, especially something symbolizing a movement or field of activity”. That implies that the brand must actually symbolize something. Most brands attempt to do exactly the opposite. They believe that they must be all things to all men and women. Secondly, brands must, like Arjun, stay focused on the eye of the fish, and not get seduced by the Menakas of market change (if one may be pardoned for mixing mythological metaphors). Consider some brands that have achieved iconic status in India. Cadbury Dairy Milk: Here is a brand that has changed with the times, from ‘Sometimes Cadbury can say it better than words’ to ‘Kuchh meetha ho jaye’ but continues to do it endearingly, retaining it’s leadership. Even as many imported products become commonplace, CDM continues to be ‘everything that a chocolate should be’. Amul: Amul is to milk products what Cadbury is to chocolates. Respected. Trusted. Credible. And the game changer that after all these years continues to define the sector. Tata: A brand that stands for integrity, transparency, honesty and in fact symbolizes the nobility that Indian business can aspire to. From Tata Steel to Taj hotels to Tata Tea. Which is why on 26/11/2008 it was more than a hotel – it was India that was attacked in Mumbai. And there are those who could have become icons, but stumbled on the way, and are less than what they could have been. But which, if they could get their act together - can once more regain their iconic status.

57 I am sure you can add your nominees to both lists. But the point remains the same: You can’t build iconic brands by merely wanting to. By the way, I identified the psychoanalytical term for the illness that the marketer was suffering from: It is ‘delusional’.

(Originally published in Campaign India, February 2009; Image from http://imgs.tuts.dragoart.com/how-to-draw-harley-davidson-logo-harley-davidson_1_00000001 1006_5.jpg)

58 Amazing quarter-ly results

To a stock-market analyst, the word ‘quarter’ has a simple meaning: it is the three-month period that defines the beat of the financial heart. But to average human beings, a ‘quarter’ brings to mind a certain quantum of alcoholic fluid, a volume that might be termed “adequately therapeutic without reaching cure-all proportions”. And the institution that, in the 1970s and 1980s produced, night after night, truly extraordinary quarter-ly results, is a little watering hole behind the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai, known as Gokul: a place that not only brought more joy into lives than any EBITDA or EPS can engender, but was a true testimonial to the marketing genius of its owner, Shetty. If stories from the Mahabharata are today being used to teach management strategy, the tables of Gokul were witness to object lessons in segmentation, compelling value propositions and building customer loyalty. And the secret sauce of Gokul was the manner in which Shetty partitioned the day to cater to different segments. Same tables, different customers. 11.00 am - 12.30 pm: Time for the hardworking men from the docks and from the transport companies near Ballard Estate to pause. After working through the early morning hours when most others were either asleep or get- ting ready to head off for work, these men would come to Gokul. Seeking food that filled the stomach inexpensively; measuring nutrition in platefuls, in free katoris of curry and satisfied belches, rather than in calories and low-calorie content. To these men, music and ambience were unnecessary, and Shetty did not distract his patrons with these non-essentials.

59 12.30 pm - 2.30 pm: Clerical staff from offices in the area, salesmen from the shops on Colaba Causeway taking a staggered lunch break, and the odd medical rep seeking respite from the rounds of clinics in and around Colaba market, would gravitate towards the faux-stone entrance for the ‘second shift’ at Gokul. These customers, one and a half rungs higher up in the socio- economic ladder than the first crew, also wanted an inexpensive meal. But among this group, an occasional “paplet (pomfret) fry” would find its way on to the table to enrich the meal. More importantly, they wanted the moment to be made more enjoyable by some musical accompaniment. Shetty was not one to disappoint. He provided cheerful, peppy, Dev Anand and Shammi- Kapoor- esque music that had the customers tapping their feet and licking their fingers to the beats of Shankar Jaikishan and the playfulness of Kishore Kumar: “Ye chaand sa roshan chehra, zulfon ka rang sunehra...”, “Ye dil na hota bechaaraa, qadam na hote aawaara...”, “Mere sapnon ki rani kab aayegi tu...” they hummed as they paid at the counter and walked out. 6.30 pm - 7.30 pm: The hour of the stockbrokers and the cotton traders from Kalbadevi. They ordered their drinks by the quarter, timing to perfection their gulps before they went off to catch the 7.53 local from Churchgate. This hour was the only part of the day that was truly theirs and theirs alone. They revelled in the maudlin and were filled with the melancholia of a lost love they had never possessed. Shetty knew these customers were Shakespearean in their imagined tragedy, reveling in the idea that “if music be the food of love play on” and fanned the flames of their imaginary old flames, with “Chingari koi bhadke”, “Zindagi ka safar hai ye kaisa safar” and “Bhooli hui yaadon”. But he also knew that there was no fear that their “...appetite would sicken and so die”; he knew they would back the following evening! 8.00 p - 9.30 pm: This was the time for the young cubs and interns from the ad agencies and media houses at Nariman Point and Fort. Full of beans and bluster. Boasting how they’d ticked off the client, and told the boss where he got off. Beer was their brew of choice. Left them feeling good, but without the stink of hard liquor that would cause trouble at home. Even Mummy could

60 understand that an occasional beer was ok. So did Shetty and he played Abba and the Beach Boys and the Carpenters for them. 9.30 pm - Stagger time: This is when the cognoscenti came in. And “Old Monk, double” was served without it being asked for. These were times before smoking indoors was a crime, and the smoky air was heavy and so were the conversations. Truffaut and Polanski usually came in around midnight. Camus would walk in and chat awhile. Existentialism often sat at the table furthest from the entrance, along with Sisyphus. Noam Chomsky was not a stranger. Shetty played to this gathering with soul, putting his Nakamichi system (in all probability the best system in any restaurant in those days) through its paces. Pink Floyd, the Doors, Led Zeppelin. You’ve seen Shetty’s mastery over segmentation and customer insights. Let me finish by sharing the arithmetic he once shared with me. “The other beer bars think they make more money because they make Rs.7 on every one of the 500 bottles per day they sell, whereas I make only Rs.3 per bottle. The others think of the extra Rs.4 they make... they don’t realize that for my customers, every Rs.4 saved, is contribution towards the next bottle of beer...and I sell 2,000 bottles per day. And I make another Re.1 on every empty beer bottle from the scrap buyers. One can drink to that kind of business acumen. Cheers!

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 23-03-2011; Image from http://image6.buzzintown.com/files/venue/upload_10000/upload_original/389204-gokul.JPG)

61 Section III: Perspectives & Principles

62 Lessons in advertising

"Don't be so serious, yaar". I can almost hear the response this article will evoke from some people.Nonetheless, I believe it is necessary to make a statement about the kind of attitudes and values being portrayed in some recent advertising. At the outset, let me also address one other argument I have heard when I raise this subject in conversations with my industry colleagues: "Yaar, people know these are only ads… they don't actually affect people's thinking or behaviour". Hello?!! I guess these persons don't realize the full meaning of their words. If that were really the case, and advertising did not affect attitudes and actions, all those crores should not be spent on advertising, right? Since advertisers and agencies continue to spend them, presumably they believe that advertising does change opinions and beliefs. My concern, and the subject of this piece, is that even as they attempt to build positive perceptions and opinions regarding soaps and shampoo, many advertisements simultaneously build negative and objectionable attitudes in other areas. Take a 'lesson' being conveyed in a recent commercial for chocolates. Daddy has forgotten a commitment to meet Mummy at a certain time. A furious Mummy is on the phone talking to sonny boy, asking whether Daddy has left. Worldly-wise sonny boy sees the opportunity in the situation, and extracts a bar of chocolate from a grateful Daddy as the price of lying to Mummy. Sonny boy - and other little viewers - have learnt the power of the bribe. (Is it perhaps the same little boy, who is seen in his grown up avatar in TVC on bribes?!) Such smart thinking of course only improves with age. So we have the clever adult in a TVC for a vest, with a foreign-currency as brand name. The fellow is so comfortable in this particular banian, that "usko ideas aate hain" and he is able to confuse the retailer with some clever sleight of tongue. The boy has now become the man, and moved on from bribes to cheating.

63 But of course even as he hones his new ability to manipulate, there are other developments taking place in this progression from childhood to manhood. On his way from school one day, he encounters a somewhat clumsy young woman in a skin lotion commercial. As she spills fruit from a basket, he leaps nimbly to her aid, and the script and the lad contort themselves into a gratuitous posture to rub cheeks with her. Having communicated the softness of skin achieved by the woman using the particular lotion, he leaps about in a jig celebrating as it were, pubescence meeting tumescence. (Yes I know adolescents have crushes on their teachers, and other older women, but every reality does not warrant portrayal in advertising. Incest too, is a reality, but it does not have to be the context of an advertisement for a condom.) Indeed, the very same lotion brand produced another TVC, which instead of an adolescent boy, featured an old Chinese man, and without any cheek- touching, made the point quite beautifully. In another direction of development in this kind of advertising, the young boy is growing up beyond minor things like manipulating his dad to give him a bar of chocolate. He has moved up to stealing. In a commercial for jeans a young lad takes advantage of the fact that even the 'new' jeans of the advertised brand look so worn-out that he can wear them and walk out of the store and not be caught for stealing. The fact that the brand name itself is a synonym for a homicidal person may even offer further inspiration to the youth! I wonder if the people involved in creating or approving these kind of ideas see all life as shades of grey. "It's not sooo objectionable, is it?" To me, there are no "degrees of virginity". Either one is a virgin or one is not. Let me, by way of illustration, narrate an anecdote about a beautiful girl at a plush nightspot. A suave, well-dressed man comes up to her and says, "You are truly the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on; the moon pales in comparison to your beauty and you drive me to madness. I want to dress you in the finest silks, adorn you with jewels that would shame a queen, and take you around the world on my private yacht! Will you come with me, my love?" The girl looks down coyly into her pineapple daiquiri and softly murmurs, "Yes". The next thing the man says is, "OK honey, lets' go to bed for five bucks".

64 The girl is outraged, and shouts, "what kind of girl do you think I am?!" Calm and unperturbed, he says, "I already know that. Now, we are negotiating". So is five bucks the price of character and virtue? Yes, if you watch a recent commercial for an orange drink. The question, "Peter kitne mein bik gaya?" from a hundred C-grade films is answered, as the brand's appeal leads people to "character phisla jaaye" for five bucks. In closing let me return to the thought I posed at the beginning of this piece. Am I taking things "too seriously"? Let me pose a counter question instead: In an era in which we see values being compromised more and more every day, can we take bribes, cheating, stealing and so on too lightly? Your view will be what determines the ideas you choose to propagate. And thousands of GRPs of propagation is tantamount to justification.

(Originally published on exchange4media.com, 03-07-2003)

65 Gone google-fishing

I’ll probably make lots of enemies with this one, but it had to be done: Confront the terminal brain condition called googlitis. Recently I suggested that we should shut off access to Google in office for a week: the ensuing screams sounded like a banshee who had sat on a drawing pin. Google is not all bad of course; certainly for Page and Brin’s bank balances! And, to be fair, many other things. But I fear it is turning people into knowledge cripples who consider keying something into the Google search box an act of significant intelligence. It has become so much of a first port of call in the storm of ignorance, that it has now become a verb; thus, “to google”. People don’t consider it neces- sary to have any knowledge that is accessible by reaching into their brain. ‘Possessing knowledge’ now only means possessing a device that will provides access to the internet. An extreme example of this shallowness of perceived knowledge was the response I got when I asked about a particular aspect of a company’s business. The answer was a triumphant, “I know that! It’s in the third result on google, when you search for the company!” (By this token I could claim knowledge of algorithmic information theory too.) The malaise is deep. Because it substitutes ‘knowing’ something with the no- tion of ‘knowing where to find the answer’. Which is far from the same thing. We were delighted at the IIMA, when a Professor said we’d have an ‘open- book exam’. But our grins faded fairly quickly, when he introduced a touch of reality. He said, “You can bring all the books you want into the class but please

66 remember, if you have to look for the answer as you start writing the exam, it’s already too late.” I don’t think this critical difference between internalized knowledge and knowing where the library is located, is appreciated by a population that is now beginning to take 24X7 internet access as a given. There’s another thing that I think is missed entirely; and that is the sheer plethora of google results. I did a straw poll and found that most people don’t go beyond the first page of results. So I am unable to share the reverential awe with which people tell me “Google generated 3 million results when I searched for India’s GDP”. Surely you wouldn’t consider a local doctor particularly bright if you asked him, “Doctor, what should I do for this sprained ankle?” and he replied, “Well, here are 3 million possible answers”. In fact I did an interesting, “can the snake swallow itself by the tail?” check. When I keyed in “google”, google.com gave me 2.4 billion answers! Methinks there is some degree of redundancy here! This whole Google-mania reminds me of the joke about this chap, who when asked how he knew the answer to a particularly difficult question, smiled, pointed to his head and said, “It’s the kidneys”. The google-heads remind me of him. Google is like their own their mental dialysis machine – if you shut if off, their kidneys too will stop working.

(Originally published in Hindustan Times, 05-06-2008)

67 The medium is the mucilage

It is assumed to be a truism of marketing that with greater competition, quality improves and the consumer gets a better product. Evidently the minds that developed this hypothesis had not reckoned with 24-hour News and Business channels on TV. And while there are a few notable exceptions, by and large greater competition in this market; far from improving quality, has led to a dumbing down to an extraordinary level. What might be fairly described, like the financial scenario, as a mess of “historic proportions”. The death of depth The fundamental problem of course is that the poor things have to keep churning out stuff all the time. With no respite for channel programmers or the viewers. And therefore, to give some semblance of meaning and substance to the telecast, various ‘analysts’ and ‘experts’ are invited. Or invented. Often, all it takes is the addition of the term ‘guru’, as a nomenclatural addendum to the tail of his or her kite flying. Not that they have to do much. In the age of the sound-byte, a couple of statements are sufficient, no matter how complex the subject being discussed. As in, “…and now can you tell us in 15-seconds…how do we solve the liquidity crisis gripping the markets?” The intensity of intent To enhance the appearance of depth, there is the “lean on the elbow” move. Where the anchor leans forward, dons an intense expression and pummels the audience with rhetoric. The intense questioner, after say, a body is found in a car, might ask: “Why was she there at night?” “Who was with her?” “Was she wearing green shoes?” “Has she seen Dostana?”

68 “Why am I asking ridiculous questions?” “NO ONE HAS ANY ANSWERS!!!” Becoming so animated and agitated by this time that you fear he is having a life-threatening fit. The eternal smile To relieve the state of anxiety created by the Intense One, there is relief in the form of pulchritudinous ectoplasm. Smart, pretty reporters who seem to wear permanent, possibly Botox-infused smiles, even as they inform you that “today, markets across the world lost 35% of their value” or that “XYZ Ltd laid off 300 more people at their plant” and purse their lips. These same ones, are actually fans in the guise of reporters: Gushing all over the CEOs and Entrepreneurs or Young Achievers they meet. These interactions are conducted outside the studio, and afford them the opportunity to get out of their more formal attire and slip into something more comfortable as they walk across golf courses, and meander through corporate campuses gazing at the deity of the day worshipfully. One size DOES fit all To simplify life, the reporters are equipped with a more-or-less standard set of questions: “What does your company see as the way forward in the short term?” or “Has the increase in global competition brought about changes in your strategy?” or “Were there challenges that you faced when you started out?” Thus equipped, they sally forth to interview Indian businessmen Narayan Murthy, Sunil Mittal, Venugopal Dhoot, Ratan Tata, Rahul Bajaj and foreign visitors alike. Warren Buffet, Indra Nooyi, Bill Gates. Pick the person. They have their list of questions ready.

69 Mind(less) games And although this last one is not from a News or Business channel, one could not have closed this discussion on the dumbing down of TV without the mention of a certain program called ‘Bigg Boss’. This is a contest without any need for skill or ability. Where participation in the ‘game’ has no purpose beyond participation itself. Where ‘victory’ is achieved without any achievement and the reward is given for merely leading a vegetative existence. It is the ultimate example of TV viewing as mindlessness and voyeurism, in which talent-less, zero-personality, non-entities who have demonstrated nothing beyond a capacity for carrying out a pointless existence for several months, are declared the victor. Many years ago, Carl Sagan launched an ambitious program called SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) to explore if there is intelligent life in the Universe. So far, no conclusive evidence has been found. But perhaps a more immediate question that needs to be asked is: “Is there intelligent life on TV?” You have 15 seconds to answer.

(Originally published in Campaign India, November 2008)

70 The map and the territory

Most of us have seen that regions shown as part of India in maps published by the Government of India, are shown as parts of Pakistan, or China or merely ‘disputed’, in other maps. Clearly, both sets of maps cannot be correct. Indeed these discrepancies show that the map is not necessarily the territory. In fact very often, one knows that the map does not reflect the territory. The problem however, is that the lack of congruence is forgotten and decision makers focus on only the map, not the territory. Such confusion is also not very uncommon in the marketing and branding landscape. Testing advertising Consider pre-tests for commercials. The marketing research industry has created various models of how advertising works. The models usually assume that consumers receive, process and respond to advertising in a certain way. This ‘map’ becomes the basis of creating pre-testing methods for ads. The key thing is that the pre-tests measure the performance of an ad with reference to metrics created on these bases. Over a period of time, the metrics gain a life of their own, and become the bell that triggers the salivary glands of the Pavlovian ad-creator. And unfortunately, the people who write the scripts eventually start writing for the test not the consumer. The ‘map’ that was initially created as a surrogate for the territory, becomes an end in itself, and eclipses the territory. You do the math The same problem gets multiplied (if one may use a mathematical pun) in exercises using spreadsheets. Take the drive towards aggressive sales targets. I recall a marketer involved in the launch of an international cola brand telling me a story about how this can make things go awry. The international marketing head of the company 71 was not happy with the sales targets worked out by the Indian JV, and wanted them to be “more ambitious”. He suggested increasing the targeted per capita consumption target from ‘n’ to ‘n plus 1’. My friend said, “I don’t think the guy realized that with a casual change in one cell of the spreadsheet, he was adding a billion bottles for us to sell each year!” But on the ‘spreadsheet map’ it must have looked so simple – untroubled as it was by the heat and dust of the marketplace. Differentiation on paper The other big danger of confusing the paper reality with the real article is that we see differences – and differentiation – magnified manifold. When concepts are tested, they often are couched in language that is quite consciously (and one-sidedly) complimentary to the concept. For instance let’s look at a concept for a new product to a consumer, say about “a new shampoo with the goodness of natural herbs that will stop hair fall and keep your hair looking great”. Now, this is a no-brainer in its obvious appeal. So the research will show a high score on “willingness to try” this product. Ignoring the territorial truth that there are perhaps a few dozen products in the market offering exactly the same cocktail! And while the concept may get high scores, it really doesn’t have much of a chance in the real world. Valuation The paper-mirage is of course at its finest in the valuation game. The facts of the case, if one only were to step back for a moment, would clearly show that several business ideas have NO hope of ever making money. (One good test of this which often seems to be ignored, is this simple question: Will anyone ever pay anything for this thingybob?) And yet the businesses attract high valuations. One can only see this as a Ponzi scheme where hope lies in the expectation that one can pass on this hot potato into someone else’s hands.

72 Provability and Truth There is a truth articulated by the renowned mathematician Kurt Godel that offers a way to see things more clearly. Godel’s first Incompleteness Theorem states that, “for any consistent… for- mal theory… there is an (arithmetical) statement that is true but not provable in the theory”. In short that there are truths that are obvious, but are not ‘provable’. But you know that in your gut, right? Now if only we didn’t let the ‘maps’ guide us into the valley of death.

(Originally published in Campaign India, April 2009)

73 Statistics, Lies and Innumeracy

The new age overwhelms us with numbers. PAN numbers, Bank accounts, credit card numbers, mobile phone numbers, passport numbers... the list goes on. Numbers crowd our life. Consider a businessperson: he is also expected to know other numbers: ROCE, EPS, EBITDA, and other numbers that encapsulate the health of his business. A business journalist has to be au fait with stock-market indices, the WPI, changes in GDP and so on. Mr Average Kumar keeps track of his Net worth, his CTC, his credit card limit, etc. Even the nymphet concerned with her nymphaliciousness has to keep track of calories consumed, weight, Body Mass Index, and how close she is to the magical ‘size zero.' This fascination with the quantified view of civilization, is not surprisingly, a recurring motif in advertising and media too And yet, I am amazed at the number of people who flaunt their number- numbness as a badge, drawing a spurious association between the quantitative illiteracy (innumeracy) and their creativity (“I’m an art person, I simply cannot understand any numbers” is supposed to mean that being numerically chal- lenged is automatic proof of their genius in the artistic field!) I suspect it is this pride in their innumeracy that leads many people to misuse and abuse statistics and math. The most common misuse is probably the “misleading multiplier.” Take a shampoo that make your hair “two times stronger”, products that are “50% more effective” and so on. No one specifies, ‘compared to what?’. The answer if you look hard and have a microscope handy, is available in a caveat on the left bottom corner of the TV screen.

74 The arithmetic gets positively mind-boggling when the numbers move from ‘more’ to ‘less’. As in hair-fall prevention products that leave “five times less hair” on the comb. What is “five times less”? If there were 10 hair on the comb earlier, and now there are only 2, is that “five times less”? (10 divided by 2). That would be 80% less, but on the other hand “five times” equals 500% ... one is left scratching one’s head (no doubt causing “three times” more hair fall!) Journalists lost for words Less excusable are journalists who report survey findings, and seem to be blissfully ignorant that surveys are based on a sample. And that critical to the interpretation of the findings of a survey is the definition of the sample. Recent newspaper articles cheerfully celebrated the extent to which the internet has penetrated the circulatory system of 12-18-year-old school kids, as shown in a survey about internet usage, conducted by a technology company. However the articles left me with more questions than answers. - Were the students in the survey representative of ALL school students? From which schools were they picked? - Were these students those who had computers at home? With 24-hour internet access at home? - Did the other aspects of their profile match those of the total population of students? (Eg their parents' income, education and profession?) I wrote to the journalists seeking clarifications. I haven’t heard from them. Time lapse and other lapses Another example: The recency effect in advertising posits that more recent exposure is recalled better. But surely, temporal amnesia is dangerous in under- standing business? Here are Interbrand’s valuations in billion USD, of three of the ‘World’s most valuable brands’ in 2008 (changes from 2007 year in brackets)

75 Coke: 2008 value: 66.7 ( plus 2%) IBM: 2008 value: 59.0 (plus 3%) GE: 2008 value: 53.1 (plus 3%) They appear to have done about equally well. However, consider how your inference about these brands would change if we compared the 2008 numbers with the 2003 numbers, rather than only for 2007. Coke: minus 5.3% IBM: plus 14% GE: plus 26% Not quite so equal are they? And surely understanding business requires a better perspective than one’s view of box office collections, where you forget last year’s hits in favor of last week’s releases? But unless people begin to believe that it is important that they understand numbers, as well as what they reveal and equally, their limitations - they will continue to be taken in by ‘false numerology’ And one-third of the world will continue to have no idea about what the other 56% think!

( O r i g i n a l l y p u b l i s h e d i n C a m p a i g n I n d i a , A u g u s t 2 0 0 9 ; I m a g e f r o m http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8c/Standard_deviation_diagram.svg /400px-Standard_deviation_diagram.svg.png)

76 We, the unevolved

There has some been serious hand-wringing recently, because the contrasting behaviour in the context of the Bhopal gas tragedy and BP affairs suggested that America values American lives more than the lives of Indians. But before we start wearing our righteous indignation on our sleeves, let us pause and ask: don’t we too show every day, that we ourselves look down on our local stuff? Business journalists tell us ‘shameful’ facts like how the per capita annual consumption of carbonated drinks in India is among the lowest in the world - 10 bottles compared with 300 in the West. Or how we consume only11.2 kg of edible oil pa, per capita compared to the world average of 23.5 kg. (Come on guys, some of you aren’t trying hard enough!) In category after category, the metric of success and the goal of marketing is defined by the consumption levels in ‘developed markets’. We are told that as our consumers ‘evolve’ they will use more esoteric cosmetics made by the likes of L’OREAL. Mind you, developed markets are the ones to the West of the Suez Canal. Hanna Montana is portrayed as an idol in a commercial for a hair care product in India, but can any teen even name say, a Japanese pop star? And while we wait for consumers to evolve, TV journalists have already started evolving. Several anchors on business TV channels have now acquired anglicized accents merely by spending time with visiting international business leaders! At a more mass level, we call them the ‘First family’ of Hindi films, but we tied a nomenclatural tin-can to their tail and started calling them “Abhiash” like some form of Siamese twins. In homage to a couple whose female half has a history of disturbed behaviour! And we admitted the next entrants to this club by anointing them “Saifeena”. A two-bit (okay three-bit) role in a Pink Panther film became Aishwarya Rai’s ‘entry into Hollywood’.

77 Worse, we took the industry that produces more films than any other in the world, and started calling it ‘Bollywood’, and continued the orgy of derivatives by creating ‘Tollywood’ and ‘Kollywood’. It is actually worse. Not only do we look up to the Americans, we look down upon our own (painting one’s face with the colors of the Indian flag at a cricket match is hardly the ultimate evidence of pride in who we are). Look at the commercials for beauty products. The sad-faced pimply / dark ‘before’ avatar wears a salwar kameez, but in her ‘after ego’ her clothes change to Western attire as she turns fairer. The lady in the commercial for a cheap dish-washing bar wears a saree. The yummy mummy in the commercial for a high-end refrigerator wears a Western dress. The ceremonies for the Awards that recognize the best in Hindi films are compered in what else but - English, even when they are meant for telecast on Hindi channels and presumably are meant for a Hindi-speaking audience. On a PPP (Purchasing Power Parity) basis we are among the world’s largest economies. Next to China we are the fastest growing economy (after the Lehmann-induced worldwide financial pneumonia). Yet, we continue to define progress by looking westwards. The common notion of ‘globalization’ is not that the world has adopted Indian ways (other than anecdotally satisfying little factoids such as Madonna wearing mehndi), but that we now have McDonald’s and Levi’s outlets in Tier 2 towns in India. We see full houses in Pizza Hut and in coffee shop chains inspired by Starbucks. But Dosa Diner came a cropper. We hoped that a person ‘of Indian origin’ would become Governor of South Carolina. A leading Indian English daily referred to “the candidate, a first- generation Indian American” promptly laying nationalist claim to her. Her own election site on the other hand, in ‘Meet Nikki Haley’ only said she is “the daughter of Indian immigrants”. We award members of the “international Indians” species, clutching to our desperate bosoms people whose links to India are mostly a genetic memory.

78 So does America value Indian lives less? Maybe; and perhaps all that such acts show is they’re just like us. As Cassius said: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

(Originally published in Campaign India, 24-06-2010; Image from http://www.bollywood.com)

79 Why Good morning will kill Namaskar

27th February was Marathi Bhasha Divas. 14th September is Hindi Diwas. That one has to dedicate a particular annual day to something, may itself suggest that the subject being referred to is possibly an endangered species. Or points to a serious problem. Like a ‘Clean Mumbai’ day. But it got me thinking. Several years ago, I started using 'Namaskar' as my greeting. Admittedly, it is not the most common greeting in the business world, but is it such a strange event in India that it should evoke amused surprise? Would a local saying 'hola' in Lisbon cause similar merriment? But then in India, English is the badge that says upper class. Indeed, just mispronouncing Bhatavdekar or Kanimozhi is evidence of one’s elite status, but mispronouncing Sarkozy as Surrkoji would be unpardonable. Badly spoken English is an invitation to purgatory. Some will find supportive evidence that all is well in vernacular country, in things such as the findings of media surveys. In 2009 the IRS found that Dainik Jagran (Hindi daily) alone had almost 1.5 times the combined reader- ship of the top TEN English dailies. And that the Lokmat (Marathi) and Daily Thanthi (Tamil) each had more readers than the combined readership of the English newspapers, Times Of India and Hindustan Times. However, these data are misleading. Though only about 10% of Indians are estimated to know it, English is the language of disproportionate influence. Nassim Taleb in 'The black swan' calls it 'preferential attachment' (emphasis mine): "A great illustration of preferen- tial attachment can be seen in the mushrooming use of English as a lingua franca ... because people need to use one single language...when they are hav- ing a conversation... whatever language appears to have the upper hand ... will spread like an epidemic, and other languages will be rapidly dislodged."

80 The desire to join the elite via the English classroom existed in the British Raj, but after the BPO and ITeS boom, fluency in English moved up from being a social entry ticket to also becoming an economic gate pass. Local languages in urban India could also become increasingly unnecessary - except for dealing with the domestic help. No wonder your driver and maid want their children to go to English-medium schools as a means of escape from their social ghetto. Reminders of this preferential attachment sit on our shop shelves. Most products in India have the brand names only or predominantly in English. Even Vandevi hing (asafetida to you) and Everest kasuri methi have the name in English on the pack front! Similar step-motherly treatment of Indian languages is observable every day in the terrible construction of language in TV commercials. Translations that are crude dubbed in say, Marathi and South Indian languages. Moreover, vernacular dailies are increasingly incorporating English words into their content. The cultural tipping point However, it’s about more than pack labels and bad translations. The truth is that when a language dies, a culture dies.

With the dwindling use of a language, we lose the universe of associations linked to it. Witness the state of Sanskrit, currently being kept barely alive on Government-sponsored linguistic dialysis machines.

81 Would our culture not be irredeemably poorer if one never again heard these verses from the Bhagvad Gita: Yadaa yadaa hi dharmasya glaanirbhavati bhaarata Abhyutthaanam.h adharmasya tadaatmaanM sRRijaamyaham.h ParitrANAya sAdhUnA.n vinAshAya cha duShkRRitAm.h dharmasa.nsthApanArthAya sa.nbhavAmi yuge yuge Or, consider this immortal sher by Ghalib: Kahaan maikhaane ka daravaazaa 'Ghalib' aur kahaan vaaiz par itanaa jaanate hain kal vo jaataa thaa ke ham nikale So much of the soul of the ‘maikhaana’ and ‘vaaiz’ is lost in translation: "The Sheikh hovers by the tavern door, but believe me, Ghalib, I am sure I saw him slip in, As I departed." Then again, some will say I am getting unnecessarily emotional. After all, the Pali language died and humanity has chugged along cheerfully without it. Scientists believe that up to 20 percent of all living populations could become extinct by 2028. Why should species of language be immune to the laws of natural selection? Maybe, as Bashir Badr wrote, all we will be left with are memories: Ujaale apani yaadon ke hamaare saath rahane do Na jaane kis gali mein zindagi ki shaam ho jaaye No, I’m not going to translate it.

(Originally published in Campaign India, 28-10-2010; Image from http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g39Rnk8_yaE/UcE6bbR62kI/AAAAAAAAKu4/QyHsncDeffA/s1600/kar manye+vadhikaraste+ma+phaleshu+kadachana+hindi+mantra+calligraphy.jpg)

82 What is the shelf life of your passion?

February 24th is Steve Jobs’ date of birth. And on that day, a chance viewing of a commercial on the same day got me thinking. This commercial was for an Internet access product, and showed a particularly uncouth girl as she elbows her way to get off a plane, dropping a bag on a co-passenger’s head but bashing on regardless because, as the VO tells us, “we are always in a hurry”. But the rush in the process does not speed up the output. In spite of some fairly hectic and frenetic activity in the final climactic moments, babies are not produced in “a hurry”; it still takes nine months. This obsession with speed - touted as an unalloyed virtue - has important ramifications on how we look at business building, brand building and even the development of professional competence. Which brings me back to Steve Jobs. How many iPhone- toting and iPod- attached fans of Apple know the endurance of Steve Jobs’ passion? Apple Computer s t a r t e d i n 1 9 7 6 , launched Macintosh in 1984 but had a minus- cule share for over 25 years of its life until the monster hit iPod in 2001. Take Jeff Bezos, who founded Amazon in 1994. Within five years, Amazon's stock hit a high of $106.63, days before he became Time magazine’s Person of the Year in 1999. But success is a fickle mistress. In just over a year, the stock plummeted to as low as $6.69. But Bezos didn’t become one more dot com

83 bust. Up, down and up again in a 17 year roller coaster ride, Amazon stock was at $178.05 on 24 February 2011. On the other hand, there was Sabeer Bhatia. Lucked into money when he and his partner sold Hotmail to Microsoft and has - like the Vice President of the USA - never been heard of again. Take brand building. David Ogilvy said, "Any damn fool can put on a deal, but it takes genius, faith and perseverance to create a brand.” But an overdone fascination with haste means that people are willing to invest money, but no one wants to invest the time required to build a brand. Just look at names on two “hit brand” lists. Here are the top 10 from Brand Equity’s Most trusted brands list: Nokia, Colgate, Lux, Dettol, Britannia, Lifebuoy, Clinic Plus, Pond’s, Fair & Lovely, Pepsodent. And the 10 buzziest brands from the afaqs list: Facebook, BlackBerry, Tata DoCoMo, Volkswagen, Micromax, Idea, Goo- gle, Cadbury, Airtel, Vodafone. Not a single common name! Buzz is transient, trust is earned over time. But that requires lots of patience and determination (the Hindustani word “zidd” is perhaps more appropriate.) Which brings me to the third point. About building careers. A lot of people seem to harbor the fond delusion that success and professional respect is also a two-minute noodle, and that recognition will come from merely showing up. Colin Powell (ex- US Army General, US Secretary of Defense) recounts this: There was an ambitious second lieutenant who wanted to be a general. One night at the officer's club he went up to a general sitting at the bar and asked, "Sir, how do I become a general?" The old general answered, "Son, you've got to work like a dog. You've got to have moral and physical courage. There may be days you're tired, but you must never show fatigue. You'll be afraid, but you can never show fear. You must always be the leader." The officer was excited by this advice. "Thank you, sir," he said, "so is this how I become a general?" "No," said the general, "that's how you become a first lieutenant, and then you keep doing it over and over and over." That’s how you become a general. Or a Steve Jobs.

( O r i g i n a l l y p u b l i s h e d o n a f a q s . c o m , 2 6 - 0 2 - 2 0 1 1 ; I m a g e f r o m http://hdwallpappers.com/images/wallpapers/steve-jobs-de-pantalla-widescreen-hd-wallpaper-.j pg)

84 Seeking non-stop titillation

At a CCD outlet recently, I saw a citizen, probably in her early 20s, with a pair of earphones pouring audio signals into her external auditory meatus, her thumbs busy on her smartphone and a video clip running on her laptop which she occasionally looked at in a desultory fashion. And I was struck with deep concern for her; imaging the disorientation (and possibly irreversible brain damage), she would suffer if she were deprived of this continuous sensory stimulation. The fact is that today, we not only live in an over- communicated society, we live in an over-stimulated world. A constant barrage of signals also leaves us with an ever-reducing attention span. All of us have probably seen a client or two who was demonstrating the attention span of an earthworm, starting to fidget about 10 minutes into a presentation, touching his BlackBerry in a reassuring tactile caress. We now need endless stimulation, and get bored faster and faster. The issue gets exacerbated when discussions on marketing and brands increasingly turn to “engaging consumers” in “conversations”. But attention spans get shortened and we get more easily bored with relentless tweets and updates such as: “I just had a cheeseburger...wow!” But going beyond its sillliness, this leads to a more important question about building brands.

85 When we see that the trusted brands on most ranking lists are “over 30 years old” and so on, we forget that this also means that not many new brands have succeeded! One of the companies I respect has a metric focusing on new brand success as a reflection of new blood in the brand circulatory system, so to say. They track the “percentage of sales from brands less than 5 years old”. But this gets more and more difficult if the prospect is going to make up - or change - her / his mind in quick order. Look at some of the brands that flamed out: ‘4 O’Clock Tiffin’ the rice-based snack and ‘Kissan Bistix’ in foods, ‘Imag- ine’ and ‘Real’ on TV, several brands in readymade apparel. Were they all really bad? Or was it also a problem that the ‘temporal window of opportunity’ given to them by consumers was simply too short? (Of course in categories which themselves are new, such as mobile handsets and services, we do see new brands succeed) The consumer seems to be (a) only willing to give a brief hearing to brands and (b) even after trial, move on to newer distractions quickly. This short half- life phenomenon is most visible in Hindi films. With releases on hundreds of screens a film makes and becomes, history in a matter of just a couple of week- ends. So also actors. Asin got the ‘Best debut’ award for her role 1999 role in ‘Ghajini’; two years later, she is now reduced to going nuts in a TVC peddling an orange drink. Brands in fashion categories certainly have to keep re-inventing themselves, and snack food brands have to offer new flavors to avoid taste boredom. But other brands too are being compelled to offer frequent variety, even in areas as fundamental as a brand’s logo. The question we need to address now is: what is the nature of the program that a brand needs, in order to develop an ongoing relationship between the brand and the customer? Going further, one may ask if this is even necessary? ‘Hum Aapke Hain Kaun’ was a hit because of multiple viewings including by a certain M.F.Hussain. ‘Dabangg’ on the other hand, was a hit because many more people saw it. Should we now see customer and brand relationships as a long term commitment or more as a series of transient interactions? Are all brands now ‘fashion‘ brands?

86 Reminds me of a jaded roué, who turns to a girl he’s just met, and says, “OK baby, let’s go to bed”. She replies, “Sure, your place or mine?”. The blasé guy finds it all too much and says, “Listen, if you’re going to start a DEBATE, let’s just forget it” Right. How long should one invest if one believes the payoff is just a one-night stand?

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 09-04-2011; Image from http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/mobiles-420342.jpg)

87 Tokenism as hollow action

I saw a funny (curious funny, not ha-ha funny) hoarding the other day It showed a clear-skinned Dia Mirza holding her right thumb and index finger about 10 mm apart. She seemed to be holding an invisible pea. Now, I have nothing to say about how Ms. Mirza holds her fingers, but the accompanying copy (and the TVC from the same campaign) informed me that the finger exercise was supposed to indicate how she was doing her ‘little bit’ for a greener planet, by choosing a particular brand of electricity-saving home appliance. Now ‘little bit’ can be used as an understatement (as in Stephen Hawking saying, “I know a little bit about physics”) but when one sees someone, in a house that probably consumes enough power to light up a small village, talk about “my bit”, I am reminded of criminals who donate gold chains at religious places, to buy the salve for soothing a troubled conscience. (Salve available in 3 sizes: ‘Minor infractions’, ‘Serious crimes’ and ‘CWG-scam-class’. Coming soon: ‘2G-strength’. Price available on request) Of course token actions are sometimes valid. Such as wearing clean clothes to a cousin’s engagement, though your regular gear is dirty jeans and an old tee. Or wearing a blazer for a job interview. But one is witnessing tokenism at a level where authentic action seems to be almost redundant - indeed, the tokenism IS now the action. Consider some examples. A few years ago, a young lad got involved with an NGO. I was touched that a child of privilege was choosing to do such work. Until I learnt that the objective of this charitable work was intended to create content for an extra paragraph in a Statement of Purpose for a US college application.

88 Another example of tokenism is the oxymoron: ‘slightly radical.’ I’m sure all of us have met young people who wish to seem cool and edgy (everyone wants this, and it’s getting a bit crowded at the edge, but that’s the way it is!) But they do not actually have the cajones to go the distance. In an era of cheat codes, they want the gate pass without paying the price of entry. Ergo, the tokenism of a tattoo of a butterfly; like the lepidopteran species, it is innocent, harmless and non-threatening, sitting prettily on the curve of a SPF-protected shoulder that has not yet lost its puppy fat, even as it shows off the strap of an expensive bra: a token nod at being a non-conformist! A recent set of group discussions with college girls in three metros told us some more interesting things about token acts. That although they liked the idea of the ‘fast life’ they were unwilling to do anything that would upset their apple cart. In the words of one of these Mehrauli-farmhouse girls, “We don’t want to do anything that will upset Dad. Or who will pay for our indulgences?” The cheque book wins against a compromised and sold-out faux-rebellion. But then token acts are visible every- where: commitment to power savings is demonstrated every year by shutting off power for one hour. That leaves 8,759 hours for the 16-ton AC to do its thing. One’s commitment to a healthier lifestyle comes in the form of a diet Coke. Accompanied by a 2,000 calorie pizza. Online petitions that require the exercise of a finger rather than the exercise of one’s right to vote, collect signatures at the speed of forwarded email. I have received dozens of these, yet I have rarely received a piece of communication telling me what happened next. But many thousand signatures, barren token

89 proofs of opinion, have no doubt been appended to lists and eventually for- warded to... wherever. Virtual candles, online polls, ‘like’ buttons and so on, allow us to express our solidarity with every cause: the victims of November 26, 2008, Anna Hazare’s cause, a protest against auto-rickshaws that won’t serve short-haul customers and so on. (To expand list, add your own cause.) Tokenism zindabaad. The pernicious appeal of tokenism - in a convoluted way - lies in its very redundancy. Virtue bought without effort. Responsibility exercised through a broadband connection. With the final holier-than-thou justification: “At least I did something” No, my Dia, you didn’t. Not even a little bit.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 03-07-2011; Image from http://aniruddhn.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/pho-09aug07-173117.jpg )

90 Chasing aspirations

As I write this on 15th October 2011, I recall some of the tragedies caused by the failure of the BlackBerry service last week. Some users were heartbroken that they were unable to use the BBM. Others felt frustrated that they they were unable to check email. Yet others felt life had lost all meaning since they could not tweet. They all sounded as if the world had come tumbling around their ears. (There were a few citizens of course whose work had actually suffered.) But along with this, I had watched Kaun Banega Crorepati on 12th and 13th October. Let me tell you about two winners on those days. On the 12th, a lady named Sujata Wankhede was on the Hot Seat. Her husband Anil, who was also present, spoke of how they were struggling under the burden of loans. He spoke of how helpless he felt when he was unable to give his young son a toy the boy wanted, because it was all they could do to just pay the EMIs on the loans. The lady, Sujata Wankhede won Rs.50 lakhs and quit when she was unsure about the answer to the 1 crore question. On the 13th, a man named Rajendra Latne from Phaltan, Maharashtra. He described the jobs he had done: delivering newspapers, working as a waiter in a beer bar at night and cleaning dishes in a restaurant, to get to this day when he had become a primary school teacher, and had come to the Hot Seat. He won Rs.12.5 lakh

91 Later that evening, I saw a TVC for a telecom brand, in which a bunch of youngsters - none of whom look like they have ever had to earn a livelihood - drive around the city late at night, confronting the existential angst of being un- able to find a place that was open. Followed by another TVC for a brand of shoes probably priced per pair at an amount equal to Rajendra Latne’s monthly salary. I recalled the casual conversation I had overheard recently in a premier management school about landing jobs with Rs.18 lakh annual salary packages and a discussion in a 5-star hotel coffee shop among collegians about who had the latest Samsung Galaxy tablet and who had the latest iPad. No one in that group was tablet-less. And I was struck by the contrast between these children of privilege and Sujata and Rajendra. Not so much by the fact that there are some people who are well to do and others who are not so well off. But by what drives the two groups of Indians. And what perspectives tomorrow's Indians will carry. The current 20-somethings are the first generation in India who have had parents with the economic surplus to indulge their desires. Who have grown up without the experience of having to work for something. Or to cry at its loss. Never having to hear the two-letter word, “No”. Always being able to get the newest model of smart phone. Or laptop. Or Nikes. And then there is the other bunch of people who have to wait to get a simple thing like a new compass box. They have to work nights to get three full meals. They don’t get new clothes on a whim. They don’t have New Year’s Eve parties. And they look forward, at 25, to their first mobile phone. Any mobile phone. As I think of the aspirations that drive these two groups, I am reminded of a story about a fox hunt in ye olde England. The fox has eluded the hounds over a long chase. But as the gentry pause after a hard ride, a hound and the fox speak to each other from a respectful distance. The hound wonders how the scrawny fox has managed to out run the sleek, trained hounds for so long. The fox replies, “You were running for your Masters’ pleasure; I was run- ning for my life.”

92 Just as we have one group of people who aspire for the latest smartphone or SUV. And another that aspires to overcome their fate. Whose aspirations will take them further? One is running to fulfill ambi- tions of power and pelf. The other is running for their life.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 15-10-2011; Image from http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ss4f_juWM5k/UErWR4MrzOI/AAAAAAAAG2U/lcEGdlRrbVQ/s1600/K aun+Banega+Crorepati+KBC-6+%25282%25292.jpg)

93 The problem of scaling human excellence

The Economic Times on 17-08-2012 had a front page article: ‘New IIMs clash with the old; young institutes claim that established B-schools are not sharing resources’ Deans of two new IIMs were quoted: "IIM is an umbrella brand and stu- dents should not be seeing any difference in quality..."” says MJ Xavier, who is director of IIM Ranchi. "We are younger siblings, but intellectually the same," says Prafulla Agnihotri director of IIM Trichy. I am not sure everyone would agree that IIM grads from all ‘branches’ are interchangeable. However, to my mind, the bigger issue is the assumption that scalability in human fields is do-able in a hurry. Propagated by VCs and private equity promoters is the God participle of ‘scaling ideas’. Their dharma / business model requires that all things be scalable. Even the then Union HRD Minister Kapil Sibal took the scale mantra to heart and in August 2009 the Indian Union Cabinet approved his proposal for setting up seven new IIMs taking their total to 13, the objective being, “...generating a highly competent and trained manpower, the institutes are also expected to act as a major catalyst for developing a knowledge society that would inevitably impact on the economic growth of the country.” If it were only so simple! Recall that INSEAD, one of the world’s most re- spected management schools has only two full campuses. And how many ‘branches’ does Harvard have? MIT? Stanford? Even in manufacturing, scaling up is non-trivial, but is relatively easier. Hero Motors can add a production line and make more motorcycles. An FMCG

94 company can outsource more shampoo production. More bottlers can produce more bottles of colored, sugared water. Indeed there are definite advantages conferred by scale. The direct cost per unit comes down, overheads are spread over a larger base, returns on advertising can be higher, and it becomes cost- effective to provide more after-sales service points. Even in service businesses, there are examples of remarkable scale. Starbucks had 19,763 outlets around the world as of June 2012. McDonald’s has over 33,500 outlets worldwide that serve 68 million people across 119 countries every day! I am not for a moment underplaying the challenge of maintaining service quality over such extensive networks, yet superlative SOPs and attention to standards can ensure a high level of consistency. But it is not so easy when it comes to education. Or healthcare. Or music. Or art. Or advertising. The truth is that you cannot build scale by executive fiat or investor demands when human talent is involved. In activities that depend at a fundamental level on human ability, scaling by size can only lead to a drop in quality. You can always build another hospital building. But can you produce good heart surgeons in a hurry? At the IIMs we are told, “There is a shortage of over 200 teachers who are currently outsourced” according to IIM Ranchi Director Xavier. What do you think this does to the quality of teaching? The new IIMs were added by the HRD Ministry. Scores of engineering colleges have been set up by others and 750,000 engineers graduated last year. What is the result? An assessment in 2011 by Aspiring Minds Computer Aptitude Test (ACMAT) of 55,000 engineer- ing graduates found that more than 25% of them did not know enough English to understand the engineering college curriculum. One-third were unable to answer entry-level math questions. And 52% were not fluent in most words used regularly at the workplace. In our own backyard, we have heard advertising agency people speak of the talent shortage for years. And yet, most agencies belong to global networks and holding companies that are publicly traded. Where the pressure to relentlessly increase billings is probably as severe as for sellers of shampoo sachets. What do you think this does to quality?

95 Many years ago, Jay Chiat, co-founder of Chiat/Day asked Lee Clow, his creative director, “Lee, how big do you think we can get before we get bad?” Human excellence is not a two-minute noodle; its a pear tree. A seed planted today will only bear fruit many years later. Jay Chiat’s question is just as valid today.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 20-08-2012)

96 The cultural bias of innovation

To say that our thinking is shaped by what we see around us, the influences we encounter and the cohort to which we belong, is to state the obvious. If we grow up in England we probably think of a dog as man’s best friend; if we grow up in Korea we may well think of a dog as dinner. The ways in which culture shapes our preferences, our notions of beauty, and of what is admire have always been leveraged by marketers and advertising practitioners. The elements of culture they celebrate of course, are the ones which they think are most desirable (and marketing is nothing if not the business of satisfying desires) This has taken an entirely Westward-looking, even America-ward-looking shape and form in recent years. So a modern miss MUST wear jeans and a tee shirt. The tee-shirt that says ‘Notre Dame‘ is of value, even if the wearer doesn’t know that it does not mean a woman of the ‘notre‘ type; girls in salwar-kameez apparently are possibly legally prohibited from eating at Pizza Hut; happiness is a high-five not a ‘de-talli’ and the wife of a successful man doesn’t wear a saree, unless she’s in a wedding jewelry ad (platinum jewelry and you’re back to Western attire) But I fear that this Occidental orientation in lifestyle seems to also extend to innovation. Not only do new innovators want to be ‘the next Zuckerberg’, they all too often want to do so by doing exactly the same thing he did! Recently, I saw ideas submitted at an entrepreneurs meet and a large proportion were just me-too’s of US online businesses. Even VCs and angels (and cherubs?) seem to have the same world view, so it is not surprising that we have so many Jabongs, Myntras and Yebhis (indeed, Yebhi's commercial has a sign off that seems to be pleading, “Yebhi try karke dekho”; Translation: Try this one too). Similarly, there was Groupon, followed by SnapDeal and MyDala. But there seems to be a striking lack of innovations and new ideas born from Indian soil. If you live in a desert, innovation is finding ways to conserve water. In the heat of Rajasthan, people designed the earthen 'surahi' to get cold water. But there are far too few contemporary innovations designed around the 97 way Indians live. HAFELE has very innovative designs for kitchen storage; the ‘home mandir’ that so many Indian homes have, however, has not seen any comparable innovation. In coastal India grated coconut is a culinary ingredient needed daily, but coconut graters continue to be of neanderthal design. The same is true for ‘chakli makers’ and other aids for the Indian kitchen. Bottled non-alcoholic drinks in several flavors are available, but a good shikanji or kokum juice is hard to come by. Starbucks emerged from the American urban reality. Why don’t we have a chain of dhabas instead of a wannabe CCD? Certainly, there are companies that are building businesses around the real India, rather than merely emulating Western models. HDFC Bank for one, is a remarkable company. And mind you, catering to the Indian reality does not mean avoiding new technology; it means applying technology meaningfully. In fact, one of the simplest and most impressive applications of technology in the past several years is the introduction of wheels with tires on animal-drawn carts, to replace inefficient, animal-unfriendly wooden wheels. The hygiene spout is a perfect solution for Indians who believe that cleaning with water is fundamentally superior to using paper. But we still don’t have high quality, well-designed products for so many needs. The American home has carpeted floors and needs a vacuum cleaner. Indian homes on the other hand, are usually tiled, and need cleaning with a broom and wash cloth. But a decent floor mop still seems far away. We don’t have well-designed ‘sandshis’ and ‘belans’ (rolling pins) or a chapati maker. But these are unlikely to happen as long as we focus mainly on ‘Indian adaptations’ of Western products such as a microwave oven with a kabab skewer, rather than developing specific Indian solutions to Indian needs. Until then, we can continue to buy Diwali diyas made in China.

(Originally published on afaqs.com, 24-11-2012)

98 Appendix YouTube links for selected TV commercials

Section I: Consumers & Communication

Did Mrs. Kulkarni attend Advertising 101?

- Ghadi detergent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkw92OG6Xgo

Persuasion by threat

- Kent purifiers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luV2aU1hF1U

The Existential Dilemma

- Tata Safari: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pMIkREluMQ

Consumers @ the speed of tech

- Lalitaji/Surf: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALxiXkHxqCc

The youth market is older than you think

- Hum aapke hain kaun: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EDh1ZXnCyQ

Availability as the root of aspirations

- Suhana masala: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adxNxo7GTuY

Section II: Brands & Branding

Jaane kahan gaye wo din...

- Asian Piaints: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_u5C749aKQ

Blurred vision

- Aqua Guard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwQuyX9FH1o

Tattoos on arms do not an iconic brands make

- Harley Davidson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkJvzlN4reY

- Amul: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaWC67V1zKk

99 Section III: Perspectives & Principles

Statistics, Lies and Innumeracy

- Garnier Fructis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYMBdgSPnuQ

We, the unevolved

- Nerolac HD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb4W3mYvMFc

What is the shelf life of your passion?

- Apple: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_d5R6Il0II

Tokenism as hollow action

- Panasonic:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF-3W0lQ3lw

The cultural bias of innovation

- Titan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb7x8BpCP-4

- Platinum generic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_fwotkHSfQ

100