: OP-ED HH ; p. 3 A&E P. 12 SPORTS Are newspapers an ancient relic? Fanboys, Fashion and Female Genitalia Vaulting to the top Print news is here to stay • it's the tangible way of main- It'sA&E's Valentine's Edition: Watch a movie. Dress up. Men's track and field raises an eyebrow or two as star pole taining institutional memory. Check out Vagina Monlogues. vaulter Jason Colwicksets the bar high.

thVOLUME XCVI,e ISSUE NO . 1Ric9 STUDENT-RUe N SINCE 1916 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Lovett Blanket 4* masters ~'W taxes find complete \ £ ballot spot tenure Several clubs to put money amount up BY MICHELLE PHILLIPS FOR THE THRESHER for vote in election Lovett College Masters Bernard and Carolyn Aresu will finish their BY JACLYN YOUNGBLOOD AND five-year term at the end of this JOCELYN WRIGHT semester. THRESHER STAFF French Studies Professor Ber- nard Aresu and Carolyn Aresu, In- Peppered among the names tegrative Graduate Education and of student-government hopefuls Research Training Administrator on the 2009 Student Association at the laboratory for nanophoton- spring election ballot will be a ics, have been working at Rice for number of blanket tax proposals. 30 years. They also served as mas- Students celebrate at the 100 Days dance party on Wednesday. Rice Program Council is requesting 100 days until to increase its per-student blanket ters of Brown College from i982-'88, This year's event was held at Houston social club 26ten. staying on an extra year to facilitate tax by $23 in two separate mea- its transition from an all-women's the real world sures, adding $8 to its general fund college to a co-ed college. and adding a new concerts fund tax of $15. Additionally. KTRU is re- U questing a $3 increase in its blanket tax, Open magazine and The Rice Rent increases proposed for pubs Review are asking to add a $1 blan- They're a great team ket tax each and SA Internal Vice because they are President Akshay Dayal proposed Administrators consider raising monthly dues for Valhalla, Willy's Pubt o eliminate The University Blue's exact opposites: $1 blanket tax. Carolyn is the orga- In order to pass, the proposals nized one; Bernard is 2006 2007 2008 2009 - all of which have already been approved by the SA senate except all about action and Open's request, which will be pro- spontaneity. posed at the next SA meeting Mon- day — must be separately approved Lauren Reyes by two-thirds of the students voting Lovett 'n in the general election Feb. 20-25, with at least 20 percent of the stu- » dent body voting.

When the Aresus became masters of Lovett five years ago, Hanszen BLANKETTAX and Baker Colleges were also look- ing for masters at the same time. PROPOSALS Knowing that each college had its Below are the proposed own personality, they tried to find blanket tax increases on the the college in which they would best $1,678 general election ballot: belong, the Aresus said. (proposed) "I think what's most wonderful • RPC: $19 ($8 increase) about the college system is ... it's a wonderful sort of intellectual, cul- • KTRU: $8.50 ($3 increase) tural and social village, and we re- ally cherish that particular aspect of PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY CATHERINE BRATIC • Open: $1 ($1 increase) what we do," Bernard Aresu said. Manager David Fortunato said. with pubs in Rice Village. They based their decision on BY JOSH RUTENBERG • R2: $1 ($1 increase) the chemistry they felt with Lovett THRESHER STAFF Willy's Pub will also be affected "The problem is that such a students, saying they hit it off after by the rent increase, although at high rate increase necessitates an having an extraordinary experi- Valhalla's reputation for inex- this time their proposed increase increased price in goods," he said. ence with senior Lovett students on pensive beer may soon become is undecided. "Since the customers' disposable in- a tour of the St. Arnold's Brewery a thing of the past as the gradu- Block declined to be interviewed come won't increase, we will have to RPC in Houston. ate pub attempts to make up for a for this article, stressing that the increase prices more to compensate." The current blanket tax levied "We were baptized in fire with proposed 150 percent rent increase decisions were not yet final. Fortunato said that by having by RPC is $11 per undergraduate Lovett culture that night on that next year. Student Center Director Boyd establishments such as Valhalla on student per year, and $8 of total bus," Carolyn Aresu said. While nothing is set in stone Beckwith said the rise in rent re- campus, Rice promotes a healthy, goes to general RPC funds and $3 Lovett Masters Search Committee yet, the increase proposed by flects an increase in university util- safe environment for drinking. is put toward Beer Bike, RPC Presi- Chair Lauren Reyes said the Aresus Vice President for Investment Re- ity cost and that by raising rent on "The university fails to consider dent Michelle Kerkstra said. have a good feel for what Rice stu- nee Block, who sets the rent pay- the pubs, Rice is trying to recover the intangible benefits we provide," RPC proposed two separate dents need from college masters. ments for Willy's Pub and Valhalla some of that increase. he said. "Rice is putting a $12,000 blanket tax increase options. "They're a great team because every year, would raise rent to Fortunato said he is concerned price tag on this service." RPC's first proposal would in- they are exact opposites: Carolyn $1,678 per month, up 147 percent that the price increase Valhalla will In addition to safety concerns, crease the current blanket tax from is the organized one; Bernard is all from this year's $678.25. The in- have to implement to make up for Fortunato said that without Valhal- $11 to $19, doubling the general about action and spontaneity, and crease is the result of economic lost business will make it difficult la, graduate students would have RPC fund tax from $8 to $16 while O see LOVETT, page 4 strain on the university, Valhalla for Valhalla to remain competitive O see VALHALLA, page 6 Osee TAX, page 10

Superstitious Sightings Get some PDA tonight And the winners are... INDEX Opinion 2 Friday the 13th checklist: break a mirror, walk The Center for Student Professional Development Get carpal tunnels syndrome and send Faheem News 4 under a ladder, attend Archi Arts tonight at 10 offers advice on how to make it — in the job mar- Ahmed and Anish Patel to the Oscars! Vote online Arts & Entertainment 12 p.m. at The Meridian club. Tickets are $12 at the ket, that is. Students share their prior experience at mtvU.com to send Rice's own to L.A. as Oscar door. Catch a ride from the Sallyport. Watch out and awkward moments in interviews this Wednes- correspondents on the red carpet and in the win- Sports 17 for Baker 13 runners. day, Feb. 18 from 8-10 p.m. in the Kelley Lounge. ners' room. Voting ends Feb. 20 so click-away! Calendar 23 Backpage 24 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 OP-ED THE RICE THRESHER TUSI the Rice (Ihresher u&APEft IANKRIXT , Raising Valhalla's rent

requires review FUTURE With an ever-tightening economic noose forcing the university to OF N£WS pay more and more attention to its budget, Rice is currently entertain- ing a proposal that would increase the rent owed by Willy's Pub and Valhalla (see story, page 1). The amount of money Pub would owe has not been made public, but Valhalla would be on the hook for $1,678.25 ATA NEWS STATION I W£/*E per month, or $1,000 more per month than the graduate student hang- out is paying this year. mjke We are fully aware that this proposal is far from finalized, but we {AT p XHTBSNET feel that it is necessary to raise our objections as preemptively and im- Jth£ Fl'TURI vr-fHB mediately as possible. VE*ISI toM F08FormaWt loti t 1 According to President David Leebron's Vision for the Second Cen- ^^ ** N»uuminiii...i„11 «mir- tury, one of Rice's main goals for the upcoming years is the creation and maintenance of "attractive campus amenities" for graduate stu- dents. Luckily for those administrators given the task of achieving this goal, Valhalla is already one of the most attractive amenities in Hous- iff RKoRt>$2 ton, and its attractiveness stretches far beyond the hedges. Recently, ' ' \ Houston Press named Valhalla the "Best Place to Lie Around Drinking Beer" for 2008, citing good value — most beers cost no more than a i f 1 •A dollar or two — and lively social atmosphere as two of the pub's best attributes. Valhalla also made the Houston Press awards list in 2004 as the "Best Place to Meet Single Women." In short, Valhalla is the social thresher-ops@rice. edu lynchpin for the graduate student population, since it provides a vi- LETTERS TO THE EDITOR brant social environment at low cost, all within easy walking distance programs and open recreation going if the Thresher staff did everything in . of labs and classrooms. Rec Center strives on at the same time. You won't have to their power to bring Caroline May back. If this financial proposal passes, the university will collect $12,000 to improve facility schedule your workout times around more per year from Valhalla — money the volunteer-only pub will al- our schedule. Sarah Stone most certainly have to collect by raising prices on its products. And we To the editor: I encourage you to talk to the rec- Brown College Sophomore have to ask: Is it worth it? We are looking forward to the new reation staff directly. The staff mem- As the aforementioned Houston Press awards indicate, the price val- Recreation Center and trying to make bers here are welcoming and try- Editor's note: Caroline May gradu- ue Valhalla currently offers is one of the principal reasons that hoards do with the facility we are in currently. ing to do the most we can for Rice ated from Rice in December 2008. The of graduate students, as well as other Houstonians, flock there. If Val- Thank you for voicing your opinion students, faculty and staff with our Thresher remains an open forum for ' halla has to increase its prices, its clientele will inevitably disperse, about the Rec Center ("Rice needs to current facility. 1 would also like to all students regardless of their politi- and the delicate equilibrium of cheap drinks, diverse customers and fix Rec Center, not ignore it," Feb. 6). encourage you to look at what we cal beliefs. We invite any conservative, relaxed culture will disappear. The more than 30-year-old tradition of 1 would like to respond from the point are doing with the space we liberal, centrist or apathetic college this unique society will disappear. of view of the staff of recreation and currently have. student to write for us. Is the $12,000 in extra rent charge per year — a drop in the bucket as aquatic programs. We realize that a far as the multi-million dollar university operating budget is concerned six lane, 25-yard pool is not sufficient Liz Harwood — worth it? We hope the administration answers, "No." for campus needs. The new pools have Assistant Director for Aquatics Service academy 9 been planned with the growing campus calls for tolerance in mind. Thresher lacks SA presidential In regards to the pool schedule, we To the editor: do have limited pool space and many conservative view Upon reading your article on the U.S. groups who would like to use the pool. Public Service Academy ("Debate con- ^ candidates, keep these Lap swim is limited in our current pool To the editor: siders pros, cons of public service acad- schedule, yet I have worked hard to I have been disappointed to notice emy," Feb. 6), I would like to point out 0 points in mind keep lap swims three times a day. We that recent editions of the Thresher have that the writer made a mistake on one of currentiy have morning, noon and eve- been without a column by Caroline May. the debaters' names. It was Shawn Ray- Just in case the numerous flyers covering tables at the serveries have ning lap swims. In fact, we have actu- Her conservative values provided the mond, not Chris Myers Asch, who came not given enough indication, we will make it clear here: The Student ally added an additional lap swim this paper with a refreshing voice of reason, to Rice University to participate in the Association elections for the 2009-'i0 school year are right around the semester. The Tuesday and Thursday which would eloquently beckon the debate with Philip Levy. I strongly feel corner. Presidential debates are scheduled for Monday at 10 p.m. in the lunch lap swims have been extended reader to the traditional values of the it is important to recognize the figures ™ Farnsworth Pavilion, and the general election period starts Friday. To for spring 2009. American heartland. Especially use- who come on campus to express such a the three canididates running for SA president, Brown College junior I realize your frustration with the ful to the impressionable collet,* • stu- noble idea and not write an article with Patrick McAnaney, Martel College sophomore Nicholas Muscara and schedule currently. We are trying to dents who read the Thresher were her a misnomer. It is time students like us Jones College junior Matty Weingast, we offer the following: make the best use of our space and sober reminders of the fact that global understand the importance of civic duty It was nearly two years ago today that the Thresher Editorial Staff accommodate as many people as pos- warming remains open to debate and and honor through programs such as crafted a rather scathing indictment of the SA's policies ("SA needs its sible. I do feel that there are times and has not yet been proven. In fact, many the U.S. Public Service Academy. While own Vision," Feb. 23, 2007). Our critique at that time was that the SA locations in the building that are not be- cities in the Pacific Northwest received it may not have a perfect system (as no w was slowly becoming "a rubber stamp for administrative interests." ing utilized by the students as much as much more snow this winter than usual institution can be perfect), it is a unique We complained then that SA members had apparent trouble with the they could be. In fact, posters are in the and in many Rice buildings, 1 am often idea that students and faculty at Rice concept of providing "strong, clear voices representing [the] majority works to remind students that we have forced to wear a sweater. should consider — and realize — that it opinion of their constituency" in the form of resolutions. recreation swim already scheduled on One suspects that she has been is going to happen someday. Whether We're not complaining about that anymore. Friday evenings (7:30-9:30 p.m.) and dismissed from this newspaper for her we accept or deny the institution itself, Over the past few years, the SA has become much more vocal, much Saturday afternoons (1:30-3:30 p.m.). conservative point of view, just as the we should understand that the need more assertive and much more the bridge between students and ad- During those times you can relax in the Jews were from Nazi Germany for their for motivated, intelligent individuals w ministration that it needs to be. This year alone, the SA has fostered shallow end and use the diving boards Jewish point of view. The silent majority in public service is necessary not just open forums between students an administrators at the highest level, in the deep end. In the new build- of Thresher readers derived great ben- today, but for our future as well. including Vice President for Finance Kathy Collins, Dean of Under- ing we will have lap lanes and leisure efits and understanding from her little graduates Robin Forman and President David Leebron, and the current pool space continually open. With the gems — nay, diamonds — of wisdom Arthi Satyanarayan pending resolution supporting trayless dining in the serveries is just added space, we will be able to have and would therefore greatly appreciate Sid Richardson College sophomore one of four that has crossed the SA's floor. Obviously, the SA's reach and reputation are on the upswing, and whichever candidate is elected has a major part to play in continuing that improvement. When the candidates take the floor in Monday's de- Lily Chun & Dylan Farmer Editors in Chief bates, we hope they acknowledge that role. The Rice Thresher, the official student news- Firstly, we hope each candidate offers a comprehensive, mature and paper at Rice University since 1916, is pub- encompassing definition for the role of the SA president. A candidate NEWS lished each Friday during the school year, except during examination periods and holi- Catherine Bratic Editor PHOTOGRAPHY with an idealized or immature sense of the office will lack the discipline days, by the students of Rice University. to deal with the inevitible administrative problems that will arise, and Margeux Clemmons Asst. Editor David Rosales Editor Cindy Dinh Asst. Editor will more than likely waste precious time and resources on goals that Lauren Schoeffler Asst. Editor Letters to the Editor must be received by Jocelyn Wright Asst. Editor Ariel Shnitzer Asst. Editor 5 p.m. the Monday prior to publication and are ineffective or doomed to failure. Zach Castle Head Designer must be signed, including college and year if Secondly, we hope the candidates offer specific examples of goals Nick Morales Designer WEB the writer is a Rice student. Letters should not they wish to accomplish, as well as the means they will use to accom- John Michael Cuccia Editor exceed 250 words in length. The Thresher re- plish them. Again, this criteria will keep candidates grounded and fo- OP-ED Stephen Wang Asst. Editor serves the rights to edit letters for content and Editor length and to place letters on our Web site. cused on an effective use of resources. Amanda Melchor Christine Pao Asst. Editor BUSINESS Thirdly, the candidates need to display an attitude that fosters pro- Kay Fukui Cartoonist Editorial & business offices are Sarah Mitchell Manager located on the second floor of the Ley Stu- ductivity. We do not want to see any us-against-them rants decrying Yvette Pan Payroll Manager dent Center: the malfeasance of the administration and inciting students to general SPORTS Jessie Huang Subscriptions Manager revolt. Any potential SA president needs to understand that while stu- Natalie Clericuzio Editor Charlie Ary Distribution Manager 6100 Main St., MS-524 Editor dents definitely do not have to roll over whenever the administration Yan Digilov Gustavo Herrera Distribution Manager Houston, TX 77005-1892 Sergio Jaramillo Distribution Monager Phone (713) 348-4801 would like us to, we do have to work with university officials to get reso- ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Fax (713) 348-5238 lutions passed and resources redirected as quicidy as possible. This also Julie Armstrong Editor E-mail: thresherffbrice.edu ADVERTISING Web site: www.ricethresher.org requires the SA president to keep constant open communication with Joe Dwyer Editor Joseph Ramirez Ads Manager administrative officials, which will benefit students in the long run as Thomas Yeh Ads Manager Unsigned editorials represent the major- we look for ways to collaborate and compromise on tough issues. COPY Cathleen Chang Classified Ads Managerit y opinion of the Thresher edi'orial staff. Nick Schlossman Editor Lastly, the candidates need to show the student body that they are All other opinion pieces represent solely Ryan Stickney Editor BACKPAGE the opinion of the piece's author. able to embrace the change resulting from the expansion of the col- Anna Wilde Editor Eric Doctor Editor lege system and the student population, all the while sustaining the Timothy Faust Editor The Thresher is a member of the undergraduate traditions that make Rice an excellent place to be. The CALENDAR Associated Collegiate Press. Gushers LAWL. Timothy Faust Editor candidates have to be able to shape the growth we are experiencing C Copyright 2008 into a means for achieving a positive end result. Op-Ed Future of newspapers needs local support Article XII of Honor Code IN THE MIDST of the current financial "broadcast" media sources makes subsequent criticism revealed factual crisis, we hear story after story about us vulnerable in ways that will only errors in Bill O'Reilly's arguments. the loss of jobs and Wall Street bail- become apparent when print media A more likely outcome is that does more harm than help outs. But we are facing another threat is truly a thing of the past. we will simply see a dissolution of LAST YEAR, NINE Rice students Council can be stressful for an ac- that goes largely unnoticed. While The failure of the newspaper reliable media sources. An easy ex- got away with sidestepping the cused student, whether innocent banks and the Big Three — General industry opens up the door for a ercise to imagine a future without Honor Code. Even after being offi- or guilty, he or she should be confi- Motors, Ford, and Chrysler — crowd newspapers is to imagine our cam- cially confronted with the accusa- dent that the truth will prevail. around Congress to gather the remains it pus without the Thresher. There are tion against them, these students of our tax money, printed publications a lot of ways to get news without faced no formal hearing and had are going silently into the night, as reading this paper, but how much no mention on their records, due to newspapers and magazines watch Without the perma- would you trust it? the allowances of the Honor Code's their advertising revenues disappear. Nineyearsago, when T/meranked nence of the printed Article XII — known to many as the It is a trend that started years ago the most important events of the word to keep them "loophole" clause. On the Spring millenium, Johannes Gutenberg's Election ballot next week, Rice stu- honest, what is to invention of the printing press was dents will have the chance to make unanimously voted first. Now, with keep our news sourc- our Honor System significantly the rise of the internet, we face a more fair: The amendment to Ar- Ted Wieber es from entering an choice: Will weallow the 500-year tra- ticle XII must pass! Orwellian mindset, dition of the printed word to fall to the What is Article XII? In a nut- Some would now argue that wayside in favor of less permanent, in which ... they feel shell, it allows a student faced despite the Honor Council's time- but more accessible, information? with an Honor Code accusation to tested procedures and the mul- no responsibility to Since it seems unlikely that the Sean McBeath voluntarily withdraw from Rice for tiple levels of appeals available to government will deem the printed maintain the integ- two semesters and, by doing so, to students found in violation of the word as valuable as the bank- bypass the Honor Council process Honor Code, those who are accused with the invention of online classi- rity of our history? ing and automobile industries, and have all charges against them should still have the ability to with- fieds, which have been siphoning the onus is on us to support local dropped when they return. The draw and face no consequences. away business from the historical papers. Giants like The New York plain truth is that Article XII harms They argue that two semesters of cash-cows of the newspaper world. n Times and The Los Angeles Times, more Rice students than it helps self-administered "suspension" It has been a slow process, to be helped by global readership, will and undermines the fairness of the is sufficient enough punishment sure, but one soundly documented number of issues concerning the weather this recession consider- Honor System we have all agreed to for the crime. This sounds reason- over the last decade. The most re- institutional memory of our en- ably better than local papers. So, if abide by. able, but the problem is that this cently publicized event demon- tire species. Without the perma- you care about the integrity of your feel-good conclusion excludes the strating the fall of the print media nence of the printed word to keep news, I encourage you to buy a crucial need for fairness and con- giants has to be The New York Times them honest, what is to keep our subscription to your hometown pa- U sistency in a judicial process like decision to sell advertising space on news sources from entering an Or- per, or even just send a donation. the Honor System. The entire point its front page for the first time in over wellian mindset, in which — as It may be years or decades away, of having a centralized Honor Code 150 years. sole proprietors of our worldly in- but it seems inevitable that The plain truth is and Honor Council is to ensure that formation — they feel no responsi- without a change in the way we For most of us, it is not an is- that Article XII harms all accusations of academic dishon- bility to maintain the integrity of prioritize our news sources, the sue that causes concern. Our gen- esty are dealt with in a consistent, our history? newspaper industry is going to col- many more students eration is already accustomed to university-wide manner. Allowing lapse. And who knows what will receiving all of our current event While this is a dire prediction for than it helps and students to haphazardly bypass happen then. information from television and the future of news, and one that seems severely undermines such a system undermines the con- internet sources. As far as we are far-fetched, it is closer than we might the Honor System we sistency of judicial evaluation that concerned, these sources are more like to think There is already evidence Sean McBeath is a Martel College our Honor System seeks to create. convenient, and that makes them that Fcx News has changed online junior and former Thresher have all agreed to Earning a Rice degree is a privi- better. But our rtiiance on these transcripts of The O'Reilly Factor after calendar editor. abide by. lege, notaright.andnostudentwho has cheapened his or her achieve- 99 ment with academic dishonesty Senior gift greatly benefits underclassmen should have the same clean record as those who have toiled to succeed As I STRUGGLE with the many obli- as the though the amount I planned ing and appeal to prospective stu- Article XII harms the innocent here with full honor and integrity. gations of senior year — completing to give wouldn't go where I wanted dents, it is important that students and exonerates the guilty. Sadly, I While the guilty parties should not classes, getting ready for gradua- it to. Yes, it would go to the univer- contribute in any way they can have witnessed too many students be shunned or excommunicated, tion, Unding a job and somehow sity that I admit has given me much, to show what a great place the who choose to withdraw (and allowing them to simply sidestep managing to enjoy the last semester but not necessarily to the college or university is. thus self-administer the Honor the consequences of their actions of college — I find myself engag- organizations I belonged to and felt But this year there was a particu- Council's maximum penalty) who is a disservice to every Rice student ing in one senior duty that I have strongly about. larly great reason to participate in a would have received a lenient pen- who has faithfully abided by the never thought I would participate in: senior gift that convinced me to sign alty — or even no penalty — had Honor Code. senior gift. a five-year pledge to give money to they proceeded with an Honor it Rice. As a way to encourage seniors Council Hearing. And frustrat- across campus to donate to the se- ingly, I have also encountered too it Through their nior gift program, alumni from all many clearly guilty students who get off with a clean record and donations, students nine colleges have designed a variety Earning a Rice degree of incentives to encourage seniors to the chance to use their time away is a privilege, not a will not only give give. For example, a Hanszen alum- from Rice to study abroad or even money that will go nus has pledged to give $50 directly earn income by working at a job or right, and no student to the college for every senior that internship. For these guilty students, who has cheapened to the university as a makes a multi-year pledge to the time that should have been pun- Amanda Melchor whole but also help annual fund and to install a perma- ishment becomes productive and his or her achieve- nent barbeque area in our quad if 75 consequence-free. ensure that their ment with academic A senior gift at Rice is essential- percent of the Hanszen senior class A general fear of the Honor dishonesty should ly money raised by seniors that is respective colleges participates. While every college's Council is perhaps partly to blame incentives are different, colleges can have the same clean given to the Rice Annual Fund to be reap the benefits of for the heavy use of Article XII. used for things that directly impact use these instances to supplement For a student organization that record as those who their donations. their reduced budgets and will be student life: new Recreation Center zealously protects the privacy of have toiled to succeed equipment, scholarships and other able to use the money for whatever the accused, the fear of facing the the college needs, like a barbecue pit student needs. Though a senior gift tt unknown is understandable. How- here with full honor is nice in theory, as an underclass- in the quad or deck furniture. ever, it is important to keep in mind and integrity. man and even well into my senior This new addition to the senior that our Honor System — founded year, I always wondered why gradu- But after mulling over these is- gift donation adds another reason in 1916 and reevaluated every year since — is a working system. No ating seniors were expected to give sues, I decided to donate to the se- for graduating seniors to donate w money as a "gift." Why, after four nior gift fund for a variety of reasons. to Rice, besides admission to an system is ever perfect, but after years of paying money for tuition, Although my donation may not go April block party, Senior Pub Night more than 90 years of implementa- housing, books and other university back to my particular college or club, and a Beer Stein. Through their tion and revision, students should Voting "yes" to the proposed Hon- fees, should seniors be required to any money I would give back to Rice donations, students will not only have confidence that any serious or Council amendment to Article XII pay more money when most do not as part of a senior gift would still be give money that will go to the uni- kinks have been worked out. will affirm the academic integrity of have jobs yet and, in some cases, important. Giving money back to versity as a whole but will also help What about the other common our institution by demanding that all • • will not for a few years? Rice is a way of supporting the uni- ensure that their respective colleges fear of "innocent men on death accused students go through the same When I was first asked to think versity after we leave. No longer will reap the benefits of their donations. row" or, in this case, innocent stu- judicial evaluation process. If this about giving a senior gift to the an- current graduating seniors be able to How can we seniors, as current dents being unjustly convicted by much-needed amendment passes, nual fund and later asked to get other support Rice in the way that we cur- students, deny funds to our fel- the Honor Council? Well, in the rare students will still be allowed to with- seniors to do the same, my initial rently love to as students, whether low classmates that they can enjoy event that this would happen after draw for two semesters, but now the mental response was, "Uh, no," for this is by attending Rice athletic directly and almost immediately? the several hours that the Honor charges will be waiting for them upon all the reasons listed above. Hadn't events on a regular basis or being a Now is the time for seniors to Council devotes to each case, there their return. Our Honor Code may not I and the rest of the senior class al- part of Rice clubs. In addition to the give back to Rice, since they have a are two additional rounds of ap- yet be perfect, but this amendment ready given Rice enough in monetary shift in dynamics, the percentage of chance to leave legacies not only for peals: first to the Assistant Dean of will help to make it significantly support, good publicity and word-of- alumni that choose to give back to the their colleges, but for the university Judicial Programs Donald Ostdiek more fair. mouth since matriculation? university factors into the ranking as a whole. and then to President David Lee- Not to mention the loads of con- systems like those of the U.S. News bron, ultimately providing three Ted Wieber is a Hanszen College struction we have endured. And then and World Report. As Rice attempts Amanda Melchor is a Hanszen potential levels of institutional senior and a member of the to add insult to monetary injury, it felt to maintain and improve its rank- College senior and opinion editor. evaluation. While facing the Honor Honor Council. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 4 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER = Sid gets new coordinator °&SXP'I"r

they bring both those things to the mastership," Reyes, a Lovett sopho- more said. Lovett President Dana Helbling said that the Aresus have encour- aged the college to be student-run while still participating in the col- lege's activities and serving as a friendly presence to Lovetteers. Lovett students will particular- ly remember the Aresus for their approachability and encourage- ment of the academics at Lovett, Helbing said. Oftentimes, the Aresus seemed more like grandparents than faculty Corinne Cammarata Sid Rich College Coordinator members, Reyes said.

CINDY DINH window in the evenings, according to THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Sid sophomore Shao Bo Li. While Cammarata has no prior If I can be remem- Corinne Cammarata, who previ- connection to Rice, she said she en- ously worked as a grant writer for joys working with college students. bered as somebody the Houston Area Women's Center, "I really like working with under- who made a differ- has filled the vacancy for Sid Rich- graduates," she said. "I supervised ence in just small ardson College's college coordinator. undergraduate interns in previous She began work on Tuesday and will positions. I really like being a part of ways, I'll be very continue through the rest of the aca- students' learning how to be adults happy. demic semester. and learning about what they're pas- sionate about." Bernard Aresu 44 After working on programs con- Lovett College Master cerning domestic and sexual violence I really like being for the past 10 years, Cammarata said she hopes to bring programs to Rice 99 a part of students' that boost awareness of these issues. learning how to be "The biggest age group for vic- tims of sexual assault is women be- However, both students said they adults and learning tween the ages of 18-24, and that's are grateful the Aresus have found the college population," Cammar- about what they're closure and are looking forward to ata said. "I'd love to do safety pro- what is ahead for both of them. passionate about. grams and talk about ways to make Helbling said that though she us all safer." Coriane Cammarata was sad to see her masters leave, One student said she was sur- Sid College Coordinator she was glad that they were getting prised by the quick selection process. a long-overdue respite from a diffi- c "We should have met her before cult job. 99 she was officially up for the job," "I'm mostly happy for them be- a Sid junior who wished to remain cause they've been here now for The Sid College Coordinator anonymous said. "1 really liked how their whole five years, and they've Search Committee began fielding last year's RA search process had done a really splendid job," He- applications after the previous of- candidates come over for dinner. We bling, a senior, said. "But I think fice coordinator, Kelly Penrod, an- all talked to them, we met with them, that it's a really hard position, and nounced her resignation in early De- we interacted with them." they deserve to have a break." cember last year. She worked until Cammarata said she plans to The Aresus said that while the end of the fall semester before spend more time in the lunch room to they have loved their experience leaving for a position with a coun- get to know the students. Besides per- at Lovett, the position of master rki.fl/Vtr. LARPers swarmed mc seling center. forming her office duties, she said she was also challenging and at times weekend during OwlCon* During the interim, student vol- is excited to begin planning events overwhelming, because it required unteers performed basic office duties such as associate dinners, gradua- . - ^ • , • - • • maintaining both the responsibili- such as sorting mail in a two-hour tion festivities, Orientation Week and ties they had to their professional careers and their duties to Lovett simultaneously. "It's quite a juggling act at times," Carolyn Aresu said. "Sometimes an extra set of ears or an extra set of hands would help everybody." Lovett had exceptional candi- dates this year, Reyes said. She said she hopes that the new masters will be a strong couple, hardworking and committed to Lovett. Students are also looking forward to meeting the new masters, Helbling said. She also said she believes that the new masters will be received very well. "It's good for the life of a college to have the masters be in cycles," Kevin Sigerman, the Lovett Masters Search Committee junior represen- tative, said. "I just feel fortunate that they've been here for three years of my college career." After reviewing all applications for the position, Lovett sent its top two choices to the president to make the final decision. Hebling is confident that they will hear back from President David Leebron re- garding the final decision soon. After giving the new masters E time to find their footing for the m first semester, the Aresus said they hope to visit Lovett frequently and are looking to becoming associates of Lovett next spring. t "I'll come over to see Lovett's famous facades for the Casino par- ties," Carolyn Aresu said. As the Aresus prepare to move on, they most want to be remem- bered for being a people who are available, approachable, and open- minded, they said. "If I can be remembered as LarpingatOwlCon An OwiCon visitor engages In Live Action Role Playing in the academic quadrangle. Owl- somebody who made a difference in Con, Rke's annual gaming conference, had its headquarters in the RMC last weekend. just small ways, I'll be very happy," Bernard Aresu said. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 3,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS 5 Rondelet to be on campus, Moulin Rouge-themed

BY MARGEUX CLEMMONS Many of the other locations RPC tickets. Gumuser said the choice THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF considered, including downtown's in caterers will mean a little more The Houston Club and last year's work for those setting up the dance, Break out your can-can outfits; Rondelet venue, Trevisio Restau- but that opting for a formal caterer Rice University's spring formal, rant in the Texas Medical Center, might also cost significantly more. Rondelet, will be Moulin Rouge- were too expensive, too small or un- Esperanza's catering bill this year themed and will take place in the available on the decided date of the was $15,000. Rice Memorial Center's Grand Hall dance, Gumuser said. Rice's own "The good thing about Central on Feb. 21, marking the second se- Cohen House had a small maximum Market, which was not the case mester in a row that the Rice Pro- capacity of 300 and was too expen- with the caterer last semester, is |q I £ gram Council has opted for an on- sive for RPC's budget, she added, that you can give Central Market campus formal event. noting that Rondelet was particu- 24-hours notice, and they can add The decision to keep the dance larly difficult to schedule this year to the food and bar," she said. "Last nearby was a direct response to since there was not much leeway semester, they had to cut off the student input about last semes- for changing the event weekend wristband sales two weeks before to ter's formal, Esperanza, which took due to the short semester. give advance numbers on the open place in a large tent rented for Rice bar; this time, people can still buy Annual Fund events during Home- tickets the Wednesday before." • I • coming, RPC Formals Committee Besides an open bar, Rondelet Co-Chair Esra Gumuser said. RONDELET may feature live entertainment. "Everyone kept telling us that DETAILS Lovett College junior Tristan the best part about Esperanza was Clement will be the DJ for the event. the fact that it was on campus," Gu- • Theme: Moulin Rouge Clement DJed with last semester's muser, a Will Rice College sopho- Esperanza's student DJs and will be more said. "Underclassmen said it • Tickets: $10 (advance), providing the music for this week- was accessible, and older students end's Casino Party at Lovett. Gu- $15 (at the door) liked that there was an open bar." muser said students reacted posi- With Esperanza selling out its tively to hiring student DJs. • Wristbands: 5$ (advance), 1,000 tickets and drawing nearly "It's so cool to look up and see $10 (at the door). twice the amount of students as one of your friends setting the last year, RPC hopes the historically mood, because they know how to • Where: RMC's Grand Hall less-popular Rondelet will attract make sure everyone's having a good at least 550 attendees, RPC Presi- time," she said. • When: Feb. 21,10 p.m.-2 dent Michelle Kerkstra, said. Gumuser said RPC decided on a.m. Gumuser additionally cited the theme after Student Center Di- Students in Visual Arts 101: Drawing for rector Boyd Beckwith mentioned Giving Willy cost as a factor in choosing to hold the Non-Art Major practice their draw- Rondelet on campus. Rondelet has the movie Moulin Rouge in a casual ing prowess on Willy's Statue. a budget of $4,000 outside ticket RPC will incur no charges for conversation, and she thought the some flair sales, compared to Esperanza's renting the Grand Hall, and the red and black colors would accentu- € • $6,000 budget aside from the venue will come with many of the ate the Grand Hall at night. RPC put profit it makes on its more expen- amenities the RMC offers. Addition- a spin on the venue name, calling it sive tickets. Many downtown ven- ally, the venue may accommodate "La Grande Salle" for the event. RUPD POLICE BLOTTER ues, as well as being problematic up to 750 students. Lovett senior Trevor Pittinger The following items were reported to the Rice Univer- for bussing students, incur rental The food and open bar will be said the he liked the decisions on sity Police Department for the period Feb. 5-11. fees. Minute Maid Park, the venue designed by Central Market and Rondelet this year. for 2007's Esperanza, required a will cost approximately $4,000 to "1 like the theme, and 1 feel like RESIDENTIAL COLLEGES $5,000 food purchase for the eve- $5,000, depending on how many having it on campus sort of fits the Wiess College Feb. 6 Theft ning of the dance. upperclassmen purchase open bar Rice way of doing a formal," he said. Will Rice College Feb. 9 Criminal mischief

ACADEMIC BUILDINGS Academic Quad Feb. 7 Alcohol violations

OTHER BUILDINGS Failure to identify One Month That Can Willy's Pub Feb. 11 PARKING LOTS Failure to stop and give information Make You More Valuable Campaniie Lot Feb. 5 Alcohol violations West Lot Feb. 9 For Years To Come. OTHER LOCATIONS Driving while intoxicated Off campus Feb. 6 Drug/narcotic violations Laboratory Road Feb. 8

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SMU will not discriminate on the basis ot race, color, religion, national origin, sen. age, disability, or veteran status SMU s commitment to equal opportunity includes nondiscrimination on the basis of sexual orientation For more information about the Rotary Scholarship and to apply, visit the Community Involvement Center's website Got a news tip? (http: / /www.rice.edu/service). [email protected] Applications are due by Wednesday, February 25 at 5:00 pm. 6 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 0 VALHALLA FROM PAGE 1 BSA sponsors King lecture no place on campus to call their $50,000 from alumni, who he said and modeled them. Many of our lead- a reflection of our life. I'd like to see own apart from the graduate lounge share his view that Valhalla is a BY JOSH RUTENBERG ers only [talk the talk]. King didn't my life like King's, a life committed in the Rice Memorial Center. part of culture at Rice. THRESHER STAFF expect from others what he wouldn't to higher values." "Imagine a Rice without Valhal- At the last president's office do himself." Castle, who was raised in East la," Fortunato said. hour, a group on behalf of Valhalla In honor of Black History month, Castle said King constantly risked Texas, experienced segregation in Bioengineering graduate stu- and Willy's Pub approached Presi- Executive Vice President of Electronic his life to spread his message of his childhood and said a combina- dent Joe Hoffman agreed. dent David Leebron about the rent Data Systems Corporation John Castle equality, recalling the 19 times King tion of events helped him to see the "Valhalla is such a big part of increase. Although Leebron was spoke to students Wednesday about went to jail for his cause, fighting for insidiousness of racism. Now he Rice culture," he said. "It would unaware of the proposal prior to the how the teachings of Martin Luther equal rights for blacks. has come to appreciate someone be such a tragedy if it didn't exist. conversation, he said the burden King Jr. have transcended racial and with that kind of courage, who died Honestly, Valhalla is one of the fac- was not the administration's intent generational boundaries. "He had a higher calling," Castle for their convictions, he said. tors that made me come to Rice. It's and that the administration would In his lecture entitled "Martin said. "He saw life in more important Hanszen College freshman Myles nice to come here after class and facilitate meetings between the Luther King Jr.: Preacher, Leader, terms of making a difference, beyond Bugbee said he enjoyed Castle's have a beer." pubs and those in charge of increas- Scholar", which was hosted by selfish interests." speech. "I think he did a good job Fortunato said Valhalla is the ing rent prior to any final decision. the Black Student Association and He said he saw himself living relating King's teachings to modern graduate equivalent to a college Rice currently subsidizes rent Leadership Rice, Castle detailed the King's mantra by participating in the story of King's civil rights movement Dallas Foundation, which constantly issues," he said. commons, the social center of grad- for Valhalla and Willy's Pub and t uate student life and a place where absorbs some liability for the two and the qualities that made King a strives to make Dallas a better place, BSA President Chuck Franklin, a students from all backgrounds can establishments, Fortunato said. successful leader. he said. Wiess College senior, said the BSA come to socialize. He said that los- However, Beckwith said this may no Castle said he found King an inspi- Castle also said he saw King as and Leadership Rice always look ing Valhalla would mean losing a longer be the case. He is currently ration for aspiring leaders and bases a battlefield general whose cause for speakers during Black History way to bridge the division gap of working with the administration to his own values on the precedent King was rooted in the Constitution and month and that Castle fit the bill. students in different departments. come up with the final cost of rent has set. He said King's leadership American ideals. Through careful "The way [Castle's] life was im- "Grads are bent, facilities peo- for the upcoming fiscal year. ability is something everyone could planning, ample strategy and ef- pacted by Dr. King, we thought he ple are bent, even some alumni are "The university is looking at all learn from. fective communication, Castle said would be an appropriate choice," bent," Fortunato said. the ways it can cover costs," Beck- "King never lost touch with his he believes King formed a style of Franklin said Fortunato said Valhalla relies with said. "In the past, the univer- people," he said. "He got down in the leadership that defined his ability At the end of the lecture, students heavily on alumni to fund projects sity has significantly subsidized the trenches with them. Too many corpo- to bring about effective and lasting had several questions for Castle, in- — the installation of a new bottle rent [on Valhalla and Willy's Pub]. rate executives today have lost touch social reform. cluding what King would do if he cooler last summer was made pos- The university can no longer afford with the concerns of their people." When summing up King's ac- were alive today. sible by the donation of more than to do that." Castle said in addition to his complishments, Castle cited King's "He wouldn't have gone into pol- characteristic leadership, King's final "Drum Major" speech, given at itics," Castle said. "I think he would successes result from a firm set of his funeral. have continued to speak out against core values. "He wanted his eulogy to say a lack of equality. Poverty was a big "His core values were well defined 'I've lived a committed life'," Castle issue 10 King. He would ask, 'What and came from Christian faith," Cas- said. "I find that inspiring. We're are we doing to make this place an tle said. "He understood those values taught to think about our eulogy as opportunity for all?"' www.chickenkitchenhouston.com Sid Richardson RA leaves BY CINDY DINH THRESHER STAFF

Sid Richardson College Resident Associate Evan Stein announced at the Sid Council meeting Tuesday that he will be stepping down at the end of the semester. In addition to his work at Sid, Stein is the associate director of recreation programs. During his five years as RA, Stein coached powderpuff, partici- pated in intramural sports, drove Sid's truck on Beer Bike, organized All day Saturday any regular size chop-chop study breaks after Night of Deca- dence and worked on several proj- Evan Stein Sid Richardson College Resident Associate ects with Sid's Executive Council. and drink for$5.55 Stein cited both personal and Marschall's announcement last that Nick and Kate have shown." when you show your Rice University ID professional reasons for his resig- week that they will be leaving Sid Aside from the short walk to nation. He said his work responsi- at the end of this year. Stein said work, Stein said he would miss the bilities have increased as the David his initial concerns about the bur- daily interaction with students. He CK RICE VILLAGE CK DOWNTOWN and Laura Gibbs Recreation and den his departure would place on 2516 Rice Blvd McKinney Place Tunnel said he has enjoyed the opportunity Tel: 713-523-2323 9030 Main ST Suite T 240A Wellness Center prepares to open the college were alleviated after to watch two classes of Sid students Tel: 71 3-752-2323 in the fall. he spoke with student leaders, the grow from freshmen to seniors. "I just found that my availability masters and fellow RAs Nick and "Seeing them mature as both to be at Sid and my presence there Kate Pascuzzi. students and eventual profession- hasn't been what it's normally "We all expect the Sid leadership als has been an amazing opportu- been," Stein said. "I feel students to thrive with this opportunity and nity," Stein said. "To know that I've have noticed that, and I feel Sid make both searches work out for been part of their lives and helped deserves an RA who can be there the better," Stein said. "Ultimately, them make decisions over the years more frequently and can be more I think it'll benefit Sid to get some- that have turned them into the involved with the community." one in there who's new and who adults they are now has been as Stein's resignation follows mas- can be there all the time and show fulfilling for me as being part of the ters Michael Orchard and Melissa all the dedication and enthusiasm Sid tradition."

Party like it's Hanszen College seniors Duncan Shepard and Erik Peterson per- form at Hanszen's Mardi Gras party last Friday night. The duo Mardi Grastime won second place and a $75 prize for their efforts. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS

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Pseudo sumos Two students donning sumo wrestler suits duke it out in the quad between Baker and Will Rice colleges in an all out brawl. Director of Sponsored Research steps down from post

BY LY HOANG "That has certainly helped our fac- ever had in my life." FOR THE THRESHER ulty be as successful in their research At her farewell party, Nisbett as they hfve been." quipped, "This office is kind of like a Director of Sponsored Research Staff Assistant Ligia Leismer said 'one-for-all and all-for-one' office." Nancy Nisbett said farewell to Rice Nisbett also impacted the Rice com- A selection process is underway Wednesday after nearly five years as munity -- not only through her pro- to find a new director for the Office a staff member. fessionalism, but also through her of Sponsored Research. A search t • The Office of Sponsored Re- genuine care for her staff workers. committee is actively reviewing ap- search is directly responsible for "Nancy lis] the most supportive, plicants with the help of a consultant aiding faculty and researchers in the most fair, and [has] just gotten firm, Opus. Plans are to have a new submitting grant proposals to both me through the worst time, I can hon- director installed by June, according federal agencies and corporate in- estly say, of my life," Leismer said. "1 to Coleman. In the interim, former dustries. All research projects must just can't say enough about her. She Assistant Director Heidi Thornton is be submitted through the office, is just the most wonderful boss I have the acting director. Nancy Nisbett Former Director of Sponsored Research she said. Nisbett plans to move to Florida, where her husband is a tenured pro- fessor at the University of South Flor- ida in the school of public health. She will work at the USF college of public health research office. "My husband and I have been living apart for several months mmm now," Nisbett said. "It was my deci- sion to put my personal life ahead of my career." Under Nisbett's guidance, the Office of Sponsored Research has increased in size and made techno- logical improvements. Nisbett stream- lined many of the procedures in the office to be more efficient, which she said resulted in an increase in the number of grants received. She cre- ated a process called document imag- ing, which allows electronic submis- sions of proposals. Michelle Pratt, Compliance Admin- istrator at the Office of Sponsored Re- search, said Nisbett's changes brought a new perspective to the office. "1 think she has brought a fresh attitude and experience to our of- fice," Pratt said. "We needed to be updated. " Adviser to the Dean of Natural Sci- ences Kathleen Matthews and Vice Provost for Reseach Jim Coleman said Nisbett was vital in enhancing Rice's research portfolio and profile. "Nancy's greatest accomplish- SWorn ment has been to create an office of sponsored research with a clear at- titude that their job is to facilitate the faculty to do research, and to do T whatever they can to enable faculty Mediu to get the proposals submitted and to get their awards," Coleman said. OOKI6S55 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 8 ADVERTISEMENT THE RICE THRESHER

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BY JOSH RUTENBERG where the value of the money is "The important thing to recog- are dumb, and that the government and smaller businesses may suf- THRESHER STAFF based solely on faith in government nize is that [the old system] has needs to take care of them," Paul said. fer," she said. to back the value of the currency. ended," Paul said. "We are in an "What we really need is a better un- Paul said he sees an easy solu- Republican Representative for In 1974, Paul became convinced economic crisis, and we are em- derstanding of how freedom works." tion to solving America's economic Texas Ron Paul spoke to Rice stu- that the Austrian School of Eco- barking on a course that will de- He also warned students not troubles but a public reluctant to dents last week to share his person- nomics, a system that encourages stroy the dollar." to panic in times of crisis, and he accept the consequences. By stick- al opinion on the state of the econ- laissez-faire economic governance, Paul claims that, for years, the criticized the Patriot Act, which he ing to only policies that a limited omy and discuss how to restore the was the appropriate way to run a United States depended on other called a hasty action. interpretation of the Constitution United States back to a responsible national economy. Concerned with countries, with the greatest U.S. ex- "Americans were terrified; we would permit and enduring a few fiscal system. rapid U.S. inflation from the fiat port being the dollar. In addition, allowed the government to do years of tough times, Paul believes "The system we have today has system and a foreign policy he be- Paul asserts that the Constitution whatever was necessary, to spend the U.S. economy could be back on failed," he said. lieved was building an empire at does not permit the current fiat sys- as needed," Paul said. track in a matter of years. Paul, a two-time presidential the expense of future generations, tem, backing only gold- and silver- Lovett College freshman Rachel "If we don't change our ways, candidate, decided to become in- Paul ran for the U.S. House of Rep- based currency. Alexander said she did not think a this go-round will be a lot worse," volved in politics after President resentatives in 1976 and won. Paul said that his ideal role of hands-off government would be a Paul said. "So many in your age Richard Nixon took the United Recent developments in the U.S. government would be a small one good idea. group know what's going on. It isn't States off the gold standard in 1971. economy have shifted Paul back to that interferes less in the day-to- "If the government doesn't have difficult for us to reverse our trends, Since then, United States currency his original focus on restructuring day lives of ordinary people. some restriction on businesses, larg- and I come to you with a sense has operated on the fiat system, American fiscal policy. "Washington believes people er businesses may become corrupt of optimism."

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• • JANE LI/THRESHER Republican Representative of Texas Ron Paul, who ran for president of the United States in this past election, spoke to students about the importance of a smaller government and moving the econ- omy to a more laissez-faire fiscal system. Paul said the current government interferes too much in peoples' lives and that American people have the intelligence to make their own decisions. r• •* STUDENT ASSOCIATION MINUTES The following were noted at the most recent meeting of liitL the Student Association on Feb. 8.

• • • The SA unanimously approved The Rice Review as a Rice Univer- sity Club.

120am4 Caroline St. Boston. TX "002 • The SA resolution supporting plans to remove trays from serveries at Houston Pavilions passed with a majority vote. 888.40 .BLUES -Jbr • • • Rice Program Council President Michelle Kerkstra, a Will Rice Col- MISSY JUSTIN lege junior, presented two RPC blanket tax proposals for ballot; one COREY would increase their current blanket tax from $11 to $19, and the SMITH other would add an events blanket tax of $15, summing up to $23. Each proposal was voted on separately, and both passed with a four-fifths majority vote. • • • KTRU Program Director Rachel Orosco proposed a $3 blanket tax in- crease for KTRU, which was passed unanimously.

• The proposal to remove The University Blue's $1 blanket tax from stu- THU 2/19 TiUE dent tuition fees, announced by Internal Vice President Akshay Dayal, a Brown College senior, passed unanimously. R2 proposed taking on the blanket tax in UBIue's stead. a 9 • Open magazine Editor in Chief Rachel Solnick proposed for the maga- v\ ith zine to receive blanket tax money. The SA will vote on the proposal to Heartless give Open $1 of blanket tax money next week. Bastards

• Solnick, a Wiess College junior, announced that performances of the Vagina Monologues will occur Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. and Feb. WEm3WS • t 15 at 2 pm in Brown College. Tickets are $5. the Low Anthem SUNI3/15 • Parliamentarian Christopher Warrington, a lones College senior, an- nounced the Rice Players' production, Wyrd Sisters, will perform Thursday - Saturday at 8 p.m. in Hamman Hall.

• Lovett's Casino Party, "Valentines Day at the Playboy Mansion", is HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD • t Saturday from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. in the Lovett Commons. •YONDER!

• The New Student Representative clothing drive will be extended MOUNTAIN Jack* Mannequin one week. W5TBIH6 BAUD fell MATTNATHANSON £ • Student Life Committee Chairs Kyle Clark, a Will Rice College junior, bl «c ERiMtCMltf and Nico Feldman, a Will Rice sophomore, announced the committee will institute door-to-door polling to generate new project ideas. T1UEI3723 23* vSAT/4/4 ON SALE SATURDAY 8/14 AT 10 A M

• A NSR's committee announced they will organize a volunteer day sfor SA members, tentatively in Galveston or at a Houston nonprofit. tickets on SAIX NOW! nod.com tjfketrmster The SA will meet Monday at 10 p.m. in the Farnsworth Pavilion. KtSU*1 . _ .. i FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 10 NEWS THE RKX THRESHER OTAX FROM PAGE 1 UBlue keeping the Beer Bike tax at $3. The Leebron and Dean of Undergradu- than half of its $^.000 annual be three to four thousand dollars increased RPC general fund tax, not ates Robin Forman. Their budget operating budget. KTRU raises the above blanket tax revenues after Dayal proposed to eliminate including Beer Bike, would brin® in next year is expected to be $120,000 rest of its money by seeking grants, the proposed blanket tax increase, UBlue's blanket tax at Monday's SA $49,600 for 2010, up from S2 k S o without a blanket tax increase. donations and contributions from but Orosco said this was a manage- meeting. Unfortunately, he could not be reached for comment. in 2009, according to Kerkstra. The However, Kerkstra said the presi- businesses. Orosco said. able amount of money to fundraise senate voted 18-4 to put this pro- d'% and dean of undergraduates Orosco, a Jones junior, said over each year. posal on the ballot, reaching the are decreasing their overall budgets the years it has become increas- "It's much easier fundraising R2 minimum 18 votes that were need- by at least 5 to 10 percent because of ingly difficult for KTRU to raise $3,000 to $4,000 than $16,000 to The Rice Review is requesting to ed to satisfy the four-fifths margin the current economic situation. She the money it needs to maintain its $18,000 each year," she said. implement a $1 blanket tax. R2 Edi- required for passage. said if the budget decrease were to broadcasting operations. tor in Chief Megan Scarborough said Kerkstra said she decided upon impact RPC, a minimum 5 percent "We've kind of had a "do it your- Open if UBlue's blanket tax were elimi- the specific quantity of requested decrease in both budgets would re- self motto for a while, but now it's Open is requesting to receive a nated, R2'S proposed $1 blanket tax tax increase by estimating total sult in a loss of no less than approx- kind of getting out of our hands," $1 blanket tax, as they currently do would replace it and the change costs in the future. imately $4,750 of RPC funding. Orosco said. not receive any blanket tax funds. would not affect students, who "1 just kind of decided for [the Kerkstra said RPC has not re- Open Editor in Chief Rachel Solnick would still be paying $1 annually for increase) to be $8," Kerkstra said in quested a blanket tax increase in said this fund would cover printing a literary magazine. an e-mail. "However, we did factor 24 years. RPC wants to maintain U costs and allow the staff to focus on "UBlue has been flagging for a in how much we were potentially the number and caliber of events the magazine's content instead of long time, and R2 just became a club going to lose and made a rough esti- they hosted this year, which would We've kind of had a raising money. Solnick compared officially through the SA on Mon- mate off of that." not be possible with the next year's 4do it yourself' motto Open to R2, remarking that R2 is day," Scarborough said. "Basically The second RPC blanket tax in- budget, she said. funded by the English department, we're just looking to get that $1 that crease proposal would add a new "My personal goal as president for a while, but now but Open does not receive any de- UBlue has been getting for years for S15 per-student blanket tax which this year was to start bringing live it's kind of getting out partmental funding. our own use because the SA really would go toward a "Major Events/ shows on campus [by] recognizable "It kind of puts a barrier to the wanted to support a literary maga- Concert Fund," which would fund a bands that people like and enjoy," of our hands. quality of products we can produce zine, and R2 has been that for the last five years." concert during Homecoming or Willy Kerkstra said. Rachel Orosco when we're spending 50 percent of our time financing [Open]," she Week, putting the total RPC blanket If the proposal is not approved Jones 'io R2 currently receives some fund- tax at S23, Kerkstra said. The money by the student body, RPC will be se- said. "We can produce a better ing from the Humanities Depart- - an estimated $47,000 - would also verely limited in the scope of events 99 quality publication and have more ment, but since it is specifically help fund the continuance of the it can provide to Rice, she said. services as a club [if we can receive earmarked for literary purposes, it a blanket tax]." cannot be used to print art. Scar- newly established Willy's Pub Per- "We want to do quality events I formance Series of smaller concerts, over quantity events, [so students In the past year, KTRU received Solnick said Open provides stu- borough said the $3,000 or more R2 she said. should] really take a look at how money from the President's Pro- dents with information about sex would make from the blanket tax RPC saw a vast budget increase we've improved over the last year," gramming Fund, the Student Ac- and sexual health that they could could enable the magazine to add art this year, as they received $130,000 Kersktra said. tivities Fund, the Dr. Bill Wilson not find in other publications. in the future and help increase the instead of their usual $35,000 be- Student Initiative Grant, the resi- "I know there's an American size and frequency of publication of cause they were assigned more re- KTRU dential colleges, the SA, the Gradu- national general health survey, but the magazine in general. sponsibilities such as organizing KTRU is requesting a $3 blanket ate Student Association, RPC and the results don't really reflect and "Students don't really have an Passport to Houston, Homecoming tax increase from $5.50 to $8.50 per RTV5. Orosco said if the blanket reach the student body as predomi- outlet for visual art right now, and it and Willy Week ("RPC increases bud- student. KTRU Program Director tax increase passes in the election, nately as ours do," Solnick said. "It would make a lot of sense to put that get," Sept. 19J. Additionally, RPC re- Rachel Orosco said the $3 increase some of KTRU's donated money definitely makes a change to the en- in R2 because that was what UBlue ceived a one-time fund of $10,000 in would adjust KTRU's funding for could go to other organizations. vironment in terms of how the cam- was originally doing," Scarborough order to plan the Rice Memorial Cen- inflation over the past twenty-plus "We should be able to support pus views sexuality." said. "$3,000 would make it so we ter's 50th anniversary celebration. years; KTRU's blanket tax has been ourselves without using grants Solnick said even though reeiv- could do that and expand our reach This year, RPC's budget of $5.50 since at least 1986, Orosco which could go to other clubs and ing a $1 blanket tax from each stu- on campus." $130,000 includes $36,620 from the said. Currently, KTRU receives ap- other blanket tax organizations," dent would not cover all costs of General elections run Feb.20-25. current $11 blanket tax and $95,000 proximately $11,000 a year from Orosco said. printing Open, it would be much Students can vote for proposals via from the offices of President David blanket taxes, which covers less KTRU's expenses would still easier to fundraise. the SA's Web site at sa.rice.edu.

SCIENCE & ENGINEERING MAJORS: c. t'/H'/'ic/tce George R. Brown School of Engineering Sur-.rr research internships at the renowned is celebrating National Engineers Week Indian r -/ t jtes of Technology in Bombay and Kanpur February 15-21 10-week research experience; all communication in English 2009 Sophomores and juniors are eligible to apply

Live on the campus, in the student dorms Monday: Battle of the Brains quiz bowl Competitive application process for 5-6 openings 3:30pm Duncan Hall Tuesday: Engineering Majors Day Basic travel and living costs will be covered 2:30-4:30pm in the Oshman Engineering Design Kitchen Wednesday: Engineering Competition 3pm in the Grand Hall, RMC Visit IITB's home page http://www.iitb.ac.in Thursday: Rebecca Richards-Kortum National Academy of Engineering Lecture Visity IITK's home page: http://www.iitk.ac.in 4pm in McMurtry Auditorium, Duncan Hall Thursday: REA study break for engineering juniors and seniors See how four Rice students experienced 8pm in the Oshman Engineering Design Kitchen IITB and India: http://blogs.engr.rice.edu

Contact: Ratna Sarkar Associate Dean of Engineering rgsl («mce.edu

See engr.rice.edu for a link to details.

1 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 THE RICE THRESHER ADVERTISEMENT 11

"I'm reading pages right now, I •L have no time to engage in penis debate," "I am not the News Editor, so I am not bound by rules..." "You look sad. Have a cock ring." "You wearing tights is not enough « • to make me want to come." "So it's actually sodomizing That's interesting..." • • "CS3 is Gandalf, reincarnated, on PCP. Super strong and completely • • unaware of his inhibitions." "For Thresher editors there are • • only six days a week: Monday, Tuesday, Whursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday."

• • JUST LOOK AT ALL THE • » FUN YOU COULD BE HAVING EVERY WHURSDAY NIGHT...

I »

* • * • ^ENTERTAINMENT . „„

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BY BRIAN REINHART Up's legendary Seth Rogen). In not about trying to see a movie. The problems continue. Fanboys old buddy-comedy cliches. We have AND JOE DWYER other words, we have a perfect And the audience feels cheated: does not so much tell jokes as blud- seen most of the movie before, have THRESHER STAFF recipe for comic excellence and a They came to see a farcical, geeky geon us with them. At one point, a heard most of the jokes before and glittering parody of the subculture Star Wars comedy and have been girl appears at a Halloween party know all of the characters from mov- Brian's Take: of Star Wars maniacs that lives to ambushed by a phony tragedy. covered in blue tampons and pro- ies like Superbad and Sex Drive. The most frustrating movies to this day. claims, "I'm Picasso's blue period!" Only the lightsabers and Jedi watch are the bad movies which How did the people making a That is funny enough, but then she mind tricks really make this film could have easily been classics. movie that sounds so promising decides to explain the joke to every- any different. They certainly do not Fanboys has all the makings of a screw it up so badly? one. "Blue period. Get it? Period! make it funnier. fantastic comedy: a brilliant prem- Let us count the ways. Ha ha." We do get some cameos from ise, funny characters, silly situa- First, Fanboys takes the usual Worse, for a movie which alleg- actors associated with the original tions, a deep and abiding love for cast of a young-adult buddy come- Fanboys edly pays homage to Star Wars, the Star Wars series, including Billy geeks and a cameo by William Shat- dy (an assembly of losers and geeks inside jokes are surprisingly shal- Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian) ner. So its total failure to generate plus the token hilarious fat guy), Brian: Vi low. The allusions to the original and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia). laughs makes this movie not just and it almost immediately distracts films are usually corny and obvi- Most memorable is Star Trek star bad, but incomprehensible. us from the laughs which will en- Joe: • • • • ous, and the questions posed to the William Shatner's sly appearance The plot is, frankly, hilarious. sue by telling us that one of char- fanboys in order to test their Star as himself, but almost all of his tiny We are in the year 1998, and four acters has cancer and is about to Starring: Sam Hunting- Wars knowledge are generally at part is shown in the movie's trailer, Star Wars fans from Ohio hatch a die. Eventually his tragedy drowns ton, Dan Fogler, Kristen the introductory level. At one point which ruins the surprise. plan to drive cross-country, break the rest of the movie in bittersweet, Bell our heroes fall into Lucas' garbage In many ways the best and most into George Lucas' ranch, and incredibly cheesy fake pathos. Rated: PG-13 chute and the walls begin closing telling line of Fanboys comes when steal the rough cut of Episode I: We then get some badly written Released: Feb. 6 in, a wonderful tribute to the clas- the buddies are contemplating the The Phantom Menace, months speeches by the dying friend (The sic scene in Episode IV, but the prospect of finally seeing The Phan- before its official release. Along Girl Next Door's Chris Marquette) resolution is just plain stupid: They tom Menace. One friend turns to the the way the fanboys have many about the meaning of friendship, discover that the trash compactor others and asks, "What if the movie misadventures, including brawls the tragedy of death, and how this What's worse, Cancer Boy looks has an emergency exit. sucks?" The joke works for obvious with evil Star Trek fans and a cra- whole trip to Skywalker Ranch has exactly like Joey Fatone, which is Another difficulty with Fanboys reasons: It is funny, true, clever zy pimp named Roach (Knocked really been all about love all along, maybe a sadder fate than cancer. is the way in which it uses all the S3 see FANBOYS, page 16 Think you've picked out the perfect Valentine's flick? Think again I just about died last year when since there are quite a few movies both offer stories of the social inter- verbal — that emphasize humor Wedding Crashers, Mr. Deeds and my boyfriend picked out Monty Py- besides iiber-girly ones, including actions also known as psychologi- with a romantic side story. These What Women Want. thon and the Holy Grail for our movie The Notebook or The Wedding Plan- cal cat fights. In The Devil Wears comedies include films such as My "Gorgeous Guys With Guns" date on Valentine's Day. While Mon- ner, that more action-adventure Prada, Andy Sachs (Rachel Getting Big Fat Greek Wedding, in which plays into the gender-based stereo- ty Python has its strangely funny mo- guys might be able to handle ... or Married's Anne Hathaway) engages Toula Portokalos ("Team Knight type regarding films. These movies ments, it is strangely disturbing on even enjoy. in psychological warfare with her Rider'"s Nia Vardalos) navigates the appeal to guys' adventurous sides some levels, and I don't quite find it Playing on the cultural stereo- high-couture boss, Miranda Priest- craziness of her Greek family while while simultaneously present- to be an appropriate viewing expe- type of girls liking chick flicks and ly (Doubt's Meryl Streep), in an at- planning her wedding to a non- ing very attractive male leads. The rience for couples hoping to share guys liking action — though this is tempt to conquer the fashion world. Greek man, a no-no from her fam- Princess Bride is the classic exam- some quality, romantic alone time. certainly not the absolute rule — In Mean Girls, Cady Heron (A Prai- ily's point of view. 50 First Dates is ple, with farmhand-turned-pirate some chick flicks that guys might rie Home Companion's Lindsay Lo- a film that emphasizes its slapstick Westley (Georgia Rule's Cary Elwes) enjoy fall into three categories: han) and Regina George (The Lucky humor through the repeated idiotic fighting for the honor of his lovely "Universal Favorites," "Ridiculous- Ones' Rachel McAdams) battle for attempts of Henry Roth (Bedtime princess, Buttercup (Beowulf s Rob- ly Quirky Comedies" and "Gorgeous supremacy in the wild world of Stories' Adam Sandler) to get the in Wright Penn). Classic lines such Guys With Guns." high school. Others in this category attention of Lucy Whitmore (He's as the romantic "As you wish" or "Universal Favorites" films are include Love, Actually, About a Boy, Just Not That Into You's Drew Bar- the more manly "My name is Inigo classic movies that everyone — Jerry Maguire and Casablanca. rymore), a space cadet with short- Montoya. You killed my father. Pre- boys, girls, mothers, fathers and "Ridiculously Quirky Com- term memory loss, who forgets pare to die" originated in this '80s Jackie Ammons even the pet dog — will enjoy. The edies" play on inane, hilarious Henry after each time she meets fantasy film. More recently, Ocean's Devil Wears Prada and Mean Girls sequences — both physical and him. Others in this category are Eleven is an intellectual, action- Even for Valentine's Day, some packed thriller that features the guys of the shoot-'em-up persua- eye-catching George Clooney, Brad sion may find a true chick flick a Osee FUCKS, page 16 little bit hard to swallow. They BASEBALL LEGALLY SCREENING shouldn't have to spend their lives 1 in fear of February 14, however, It may be a while until the Your girlfriend forced you to On Monday ftom 7 p.m. to 9 CHINESE next World Series, but that see the movies, now go see the p.m., Southwest Alternate Media shouldn't stop you from hitting show onstage! Theatre Under Project will be screening A Class What better way to spend Val- up the Twilight Tour of Minute the Stars' presentation of Le- Apart, a new documentary about entine's Day than by watch- Maid Park tonight at 8 p.m. for gally Blonde: The Musical con- the post-World War II struggle of ing the Chinese National Ac- THE a behind-the-scenes look at the tinues at the Hobby Center this Mexican-Americans against dis- robats do their thing over at WEEKLY stadium. Tickets run a mere weekend. Hit up the site for crimination. A panel discussion Jones Hall tomorrow at 2 p.m. $15, but can only be purchased tickets and showtimes, but be with the filmmakers will follow. and 7 p.m.? RPC is subsidizing SCENE online and are limited to the forewarned thathicket prices Admission is free, but check the tickets for the show; they will first 150 people. Good luck! are a little on the steep side. «• link to save your seat. run you a mere $10. Editors' picks for events 0 MINUTE MAID PARK HOBBY CENTER - SAROFIM HALL outside the hedges, both TALENTO BILINGUE OE HOUSTON JONES HALL 501 CRAWFORD ' 800 BAG BY ST. around Rice and in the 333 S. JENSEN 615 LOUISIANA, Houston area, for this week. WWW.ASTROS.COM WWW.TUTS.COM WWW.HOUSTONPBS.ORG WWW.JONESHALL.ORG *i

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 • • THE RICE THRESHER A&E 13

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, : . • i ,.^v.-., L Wfc . T, • •' Gettin' it on with The Vagina Monologues

BY ALICIA HERNANDEZ • • FOR THETHRESHER Mushmellow. Powderbox. Coochi snorcher. Cunt. Dignity. Gladys Siegelman. Vagina. Orgasmic moans. Frank testimony. Righteous anger. You - name it, The Vagina Monologues has it. all Because it is mostly bare, the stage of The Vagina Monologues is set for good acting. Costumes are simple black outfits with small touches of red. The lighting is simple. Ultimately, the show is an intimate experience be- tween the audience and the actresses. BY FAHEEM AHMED below a mentally-unstable circus per- THRESHER STAFF former does not help. After exploring the ancient house, Remember Tim Burton's The Night- Coraline finds a small door, which is mare Before Christmas? That stop-mo- actually a portal to an alternate uni- tion animated movie that your parents verse. It is an exact duplicate of her mistakenly took you to as a child, think- own apartment, except that her "other" The Vagina ing it was just another Disney cartoon parents are more caring and willing to before realizing way too late, after see- give her all the attention in the world. Monologues ing images of hurled skulls and burn- Everyone in this universe, however, has ing bodies, that the movie might be too buttons sewn over their eyes. As the • • • y2 twisted for a little kid? movie progresses, the trips to this other Now Showing: Friday While Coraline might not be as vi- dimension become more terrifying and and Saturday at 8 p.m., sually gruesome, it's in the same vein. Coraline realizes that her fantasy is Sunday at 2 p.m., Brown Marketed as a children's fairy tale gone transforming into a nightmare. College Commons wrong and awarded a PG rating (I'd like The movie has several positive as- to disagree), this film is surprisingly pects, particularly the cinematography. adult and definitely way too creepy for I watched Coraline in RealD 3D technol- the average six-year-old. ogy (I told you this will be the norm for Thankfully, most of the actresses every movie!). Rather than hurl objects do a great job. Brown College junior into the audience's faces, the 3D works Caroline Turner in "My Angry Va- iwrwniroiMiHHii nicely to add depth to the visuals, par- gina" provides comic relief and a ticularly to the animals and plants. Ad- wonderful performance as she talks ditionally, Selick has the boldness to about tampons, douches and visits make his movies scary, unlike typical to the gynecologist. Hanszen College Coraline Disney fairytales. junior Teresa Bayer, the only double- Despite the originality of the ani- cast actress, provides credible and • • 1/2 mation, the plot of Coraline is way too adorable performances in "They That's not the Hanszen anti-cheer, it's Brown junior Caroline Turner per- hackneyed. The "be careful what you Beat the Girl Out of My Boy ... Or So forming "My Angry Vagina" in The Vagina Monologues, opening tonight. Starring: Dakota Fan- wish for" message has been played They Tried" and "A Six-Year-Old Girl ning, Teri Hatcher, John out in several other films and books. Was Asked...", respectively. Hodgman The concept of a little girl discover- Hanszen senior Abbie Ryan, in Rated: PG ing a passageway to another world "The Woman Who Loved to Make most entertaining monologues of forget all about these transitions 10 Released: Feb. 6 has been portrayed in The Chronicles Vaginas Happy," shows the most the night, gives a frank talk about seconds into each monologue. of Namia and most notably in Pan's commitment, especially as she her sexual encounters as a child. And the directing is not all bad; Labyrinth, which is the perfect blend moans her way from an "almost" to Several other serious or semi-se- Bridges and Harrison have their of fantasy and horror. a "triple orgasm." Her monologue, rious monologues are presented, strong points. The splotches of Coraline is directed by Henry Selick, one of the last, is probably the most and each is dealt just the right mix red found in the costumes, set and the visionary behind The Nightmare Be- memorable. Although the acting is of sensitivity and frankness. Poten- lighting do provide continuity and a fore Christmas and James and the Giant ft not always great, the rousing per- tial attendees should not be scared nice motif. Furthermore, the perfor- Peach. Selick is wonderfully imagina- formances of Turner, Bayer, Ryan away by seriousness; in The Vagina mance is quite tactful for its subject tive when it comes to animation, using Marketed as a and many others compensate for Monologues, it works. matter, which will not alienate the a mix of stop motion and Claymation those more novice actresses. The overall production of the men in the audience. As a virgin to to beautifully illustrate his landscapes children's fairy While many of the pieces re- show is decent; symbolic touches The Vagina Monologues, I had previ- and characters. In addition, Selick of- sult in squeals of laughter, there and stupendous acting carry the ously shied away from hearing about ten adds a shade of darkness and twist- tale gone wrong, are also quite a few serious ones. show. Unfortunately, the novice di- my "down-there." This show, how- ed humor to his cartoons, resulting in a this film is way too Although audiences usually dread recting of Brown senior Amy Bridges ever, was entertaining. Although very disturbing combination. these monologues because they and Brown junior Keisha Harrison is empowering by nature, it never be- The basic premise of this film is that creepy for the aver- deal with rape and violence, the visible and at times distracting, es- came militant. It is definitely a great Coraline (voiced nicely by I Am Sam's age six-year-old. actresses make their cases without pecially with a few, scattered mono- choice for a Valentine's Day date or Dakota Fanning) has just moved into a making the audience so overly un- logues that are weakand lack commit- an outing with friends. comfortable. They are serious, yes, ment. Adding on to such weaknesses A fair, if somewhat obvious warn- new house with her parents. Her father 99 (the Mac commercials' John Hodgman) but very watchable. In "My Vagina is a superfluous chalkboard that re- ing, is that the show uses strong and mother ("Desperate Housewives'" Was My Village," Hanszen fresh- quires lots of help moving on and off language. The world "cunt," for ex- Teri Hatcher) are busy editing a garden- If you're really aching to go to the man Kat Skilton provides a touch- the stage. For a play with a maximum ample, has an entire monologue at- ing catalog 24/7, thus neglecting Cora- theater this weekend, then Coraline is ing look into a raped Bosnian wom- of three props per monologue, the tached to it. Nevertheless, the tactful- line on a daily basis. She is incredibly probably the most entertaining film to an's ordeal. Lovett College senior transitions are sometimes very long, ness of the show and the instances of lonely, and the fact that they live above watch. The plot is predictable, but the Allie Janda, in "The Little Coochi interrupting the show's fluidity. On wonderful acting make The Vagina a pair of over-the-hill actresses and movie is fun and inventive. Snorcher That Could," one of the the bright side, the audience will Monologues a great performance.

B THRESHER EDITORS' FAVORITE ROMANTIC FILMS OF ALL TIME hint, hint... Yan/lily Joe Natalie Daver lulie Lauren Dylan Doctor/Faust Sports/Editor in Chief A&E Sports Photog A&E Photog Editor in Chief Backpage Dude, I don't even Yan: The Sandlot. When Harry Met Sally, Doc: Wall-E. Do I have Love, Actually, because Saw 4. Just kidding, I know... maybe Love, because of the scene Pride and Prejudice, the 7 to give an explanation? haven't seen any of the Um, Beauty and the Beast, Actually. Oh wait, no, Lily: Eternal Sunshine it's the only one I've when they're watch- BBC version. It's a six- ever seen, and I actu- Saw movies. because Belle's dress is dawg. Sleepless in or Lost in Translation ing Casablanca and he hour series. My family Faust: Double Penetra- ally fell asleep halfway pretty. Seattle. I just watch all or Almost Famous or, moos. And the orgasm quotes it daily. tion 3. Family favorite. the movies that come if I want to be trashy, through. scene. It's Deep Throat. Reminds me of Passover. Bridget Jones. on TBS. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 14 A&E THE RICE THRESHER Cliche-bashing He's Just Not That Into You tells it like it is

BY JACKIE AMNIONS the movie's pace upbeat and its top- THRESHER STAFF ics relevant and entertaining for a wider audience. The new film He's Just Not That The structure of the plot — in- Into You claims that it is not a "typi- serting pieces of advice, then dem- cal" chick flick and that it goes beyond onstrating them in the lives of the the conventional realm of the genre by characters — may interrupt the cutting out cliches. The movie's iTunes storyline, but it also simplifies the podcast touts the film's lack of certain film and makes it more original. For undesirable, overly-sentimental and example, after showing the words formulaic scenes, such as random "he's just not that into you if ... outbreaks into song, makeover mon- he doesn't call" on the screen, the tages or hysterical crying scenes. And movie immediately cuts to Gigi im- it's true: He's Just Not That Into You patiently waiting by her pink prin- avoids the traps of usual chick flicks cess phone and then staring at her and produces a funny, enjoyable and cell phone during yoga class. not-so-typical one. While the movie pokes fun at girls for their complacency in re- lationships, impatience to marry and desperate attempts at dating, it does so in a constructive way by directly confronting the issues in- stead of meandering around them. This fresh approach makes He's Just He's Just Not That Into Not That Into You seem more like a Practical Alex (Jack arid Miri Make a Porno's Justin Long) gives ever-hopeful Gigi (In the Land of Women's Jennifer You how-to or self-help movie rather Goodwin) some necessary advice in He's Just Not That Into You, the chick flick based on the bestselling book. • • • • than a fictional film, thereby add- ing a sense of reality and credibility to its characters. Starring: Justin Long, The all-star cast playing these Jern'fer Connelly, Jenni- characters enhances the film's KTRU interview: behind the genetic fer Aniston, Ben Affleck, plotline even more. Goodwin's char- Scarlett Johansson acter, painfully desperate to date, Rated: PG-13 is hilarious to watch when placed memory mystery with Matt Weston Released: Feb. 6 against Long's cocky, know-it-all persona. Furthermore, Connelly and BY ROSE CAHALAN Johansson's contrasting roles com- THRESHER STAFF Based on the self-help book by plement their unique acting styles. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's I was driving with some friends Just Not That Into You structures itself recently when we suddenly heard by first giving the audience a pearl of it a high-pitched screech punctuated dating wisdom — "he's just not that by harsh thuds. "Do you hear that?" into you if ..." — and then showing While the movie someone asked. "I think there might how the proverb works in the relation- be a problem with the car." My friend ships of couples in the movie. pokes fun at girls laughed and pointed to the stereo, The film begins by focusing on for complacency in dialed to 91.7. "No, it's just KTRU." Gigi (In the Land of Women's Jennifer We were listening to a track from M Goodwin) and on dating advice from relationships, im- Matt Weston's album Not To Be Tak- her friend Alex (Zac and Miri Make en Away, released this past July on his « t a Porno's Justin Long). It then exam- patience to marry label 72y2music and currently in rota- ines married couple Ben and Janine and desperate tion on KTRU's playlist. Weston is a (Yes Man's Bradley Cooper and Ink- percussionist and electronic musician heart's Jennifer Connelly), including attempts at dat- who is also a member of the experi- Ben's fling with yoga instructor and ing, it does so in a mental bands Barn Owl and Thrillpil- singer Anna (Vicky Cristina Barce- low. This is his second full-length solo lona's Scarlett Johansson). Foiling constructive way by release after 2000's Vacuums. MATT WESTON Ben and Janine's relationship are Weston's work falls squarely in • * Beth (Marley & Me's Jennifer An- directly confronting the category of what KTRU calls "ge- iston) and Neil (Smokin' Aces' Ben the issues. netic memory" and what most peo- not to be taV:en away Affleck), an ever-committed but still ple call "really weird noise." Think unmarried couple of seven years. crashing cymbals, crushing waves 99 Additionally, the film touches on of feedback, the sound of wind in spacey Mary (Beverly Hills Chihua- a metal scrapyard and buzzing ro- hua's Drew Barrymore) and her bud- One of He's Just Not That Into botic cicadas armed with power ding relationship with realtor Conor You's mantras is "you are not the ex- tools. Some listeners may find this • # ("Entourage'"s Kevin Connolly). ception; you are the rule." However, sonic chaos headache-inducing, but play, or to describe what it sounds fully be released in the fall. I'm The film's many plotlines may this movie is the exception, for He's for others it will provoke debate and like; I usually just respond by also assembling a longer work for seem exhausting and confusing, but Just Not That Into You provides a discussion on the murky boundar- giving them a CD. Absurd Records in Greece. That He's Just Not That Into You organizes uniquely complex blend of comedy, ies between music and noise. Here, Thresher: For me at least, one should hopefully be completed by them well. The multiple couples and drama and a distinctively honest Weston talks about the Recording productive way to experience your the end of March, but I'm not sure their intertwined relationships keep perspective on social relationships. Industry Association of America, work and other experimental/ of its release date. That one will the time 350 people walked out of minimalist music is by connecting incorporate multiple overdubs of his concert, a busted-up Volkswagen it with other sensory modalities — stringed instruments (electric and and more. visually and spatially, especially. acoustic) and electronics, as well Rice Global E&C Forum For example, listening to "Yeah as percussion. Rice Thresher: What draws you to Slang" gave me the image of a Thresher: Where do you stand to music? rusty metal hinge creaking back in the debate over music download- Three $5,000 Scholarships for 2009-10 Year Matt Weston: What drew me and forth, and thinking about that ing, sampling and creative control? Application Deadline: March 13, 2009 initially was hearing The Beatles' helped me "see" a kind of depth To what extent can someone claim Second Album when 1 was three. and texture to the music. ... Do you ownership of a song? Scholarship Notification: by April 10, 2009 Discovering elements of that re- connect sound with other senses? MW: I believe sampling is a Priority will be given to School of Engineering cord in other music is what keeps MW: I suppose subconsciously I form of composition, but I also be- me drawn to music. I could go on always do. 1 listened to Duke Filing- lieve those whose work is sampled professional masters or terminal research masters about how it's informed everything ton's work for years before I was should be given co-writing credit. students with potential interest in the Engineering and I've played and listened to since — able to really see the "colors " that But that's a complicated issue, and everything from Merzbow to The he and others spoke of in his music. * I Construction Industry. one that dovetails into the down- Who to M.I.A. to Cecil Taylor to Once I did, it was a revelation. I was loading debate, in that musicians/ Pierre Henry. I highly recommend driving at the time and almost got composers aren't always — or even Seniors for 2009-10 will he considered if their Dave Marsh's brilliant book about in an accident. often — the owners of their own interest in the industry is high and/or if the applicant the record, also called The Beatles' Thresher: How much of your copyrighted material. The RIAA Second Album. music is improvised? couldn't care less about artists' pool at the masters level is low. Thresher: What advice would MW: I hope this doesn't sound rights or the income of artists from you give to first-time listeners of dismissive, because I definitely copyrighted works. They're only e p Application process: Not To Be Taken Away? Do you have don't mean it to be, but what differ- worried about labels potentially Submit a cover letter to Nancy Tucker (nancvKq-rice.alu) in the any thoughts on how to navigate ence does it make? To paraphrase losing profits - profits which, far Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (Ryon Lab this experimental, nonmelodic Cecil Taylor, the only thing that the more often than not, are the result landscape versus listening to a listener knows about is the sounds of musicians being cheated out of MS 318) with a brief paragraph stating the reasons why you think more conventional lyrical album? that he or she hears. royalties. The arguments against you are deserving ot the award: stating your career interests, MW: I'm not really sure; it de- Thresher: What other projects downloading ignore the fact that no academic objectives, likely coursework during 2009-10, research pends on the listener. Some may are you working on at the moment? correlation has been shown between r P objectives if applicable, and any committed or likely financial find easy entrance points, and some MW: I'm nearing completion of illegal downloading and declining support from Rice or other scholarship sources. Attach an may not. To be honest, as a listen- a three-movement work which en- music sales - numerous studies unofficial Rice transcript through first semester of 2008-09. er, I'm not really good at making tails multiple — sometimes up to done in the last 10 years bear that distinctions between melodic and 20 — overdubs of percussion, elec- out — and ignore the myriad ways See the complete flyer at www.forum.ricc.edu nonmelodic, so I would be equally tronics and blowing into a cymbal in which musicians and composers inept at articulating those distinc- placed on the surface of various have been completely shafted by la- tions. It's kind of like when some- drums, which produces an almost bels. free downloading could never one asks me what kind of music I horn-like sound. That will hope- O see WESTON, page 16 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 THE RICE THRESHER A&E 15 A Word with your Wardrobe: Pre-Rondelet notes on the James Bond look What happened to those days when Here are some lessons to take from important. You'll want to look like you men polished to the tips of their shoes either black or silver. No gold, though. subtleties of finer details and not about Bond's impeccable wardrobe. own the suit, not like you're playing and dressed to the nines simply to go overly complicated pieces. And though dress-up in your daddy's old clothes. out for brunch? Where is the man who Form and final touches each movie does flirt with the fashion Fit Pant legs should be long enough to cov- makes ladies do double takes with Bond is a flashy character, yes, but trends of the time to appease the au- The classic Bond look is either er the socks and short enough to skim not one to flash brand labels. You have dience, all Bonds maintain for them- raised eyebrows, intrigued not by his a sharply tailored suit and tie or a the rims of the shoes without dragging. to listen hard to realize his watch isn't selves a subdued color palette and a chiseled arms or exposed physique but stunning tuxedo, but the importance Bond jackets are never longer than ticking, or look closely to see that his consciousness of fit over flair. by the thought of what his tie might of fit remains. where the hips end. shoes cost a small fortune. Upon even closer inspection, James look like loosened and discarded? What The tux is for black-tie, gala, high- The dress shirt is always fitted to Everything appears more expen- Bond's style is actually quite simple and became of the men who left something profile or just very formal events. It can Bond's body; otherwise, he comes off sive when it looks like it was made requires only that the garment in ques- to the imagination, the gentlemen on be thought of as a "souped-up" suit, for as almost juvenile and not in control of uniquely for the person wearing it. Get- tion matches and contours well to his the forefront, those knights in their it tends to be embellished with satin fin- the extra fabric that refuses to be tucked ting clothes tailored rather than trying body. This is more of an old-fashioned crisp suits? I sure don't know, but one ishes on the jacket lapel and the pants. in. So, fitted it must be. to find new shirts is always easier and approach to dressing, but unlike with thing is certain: They just don't make The tux is often worn with either a vest Bond does sport polos and T-shirts cheaper in the long run. women, looking too put together as men like they used to. or a cummerbund, but never both at for his tropical endeavors, and shorts Bond often does not wear a belt, and a man is never a bad thing, especially once. Bond wears black or white tux- are not at all taboo for the Bond image. why should he? Pants should be able to when it's combined with a little hint of edos with a black bow tie. In fact, keep in mind that he is Euro- hold themselves up. confidence. This is the basis of the Bond The suit is essential and can be pean, and they often wear them on the Finally, Bond doesn't slouch unless appeal, the Bond look and the reason it considered the Bond uniform. It is less short side. his job requires him to. is the epitome of timeless menswear; strict in terms of where and how it can Yes, Bond wears jeans. In fact, Though his regimen seems strict, It can speak volumes for a man and be worn, but there are rules nonethe- he wore Levi's in Quantum of Solace. it's a small price to pay, for the result make a girl come hither without saying less. All suits are composed of straight Again, straight-leg only. Boot-cut and is an apparently effortless look that a word. And, gentlemen, isn't that what legged pants and a sports blazer or skinny are too trendy and thus out of does not demand attention but com- it's really all about? Deanne Nguyen jacket with a fitted, collared shirt. Bond the question. mands it. With every suit or piece of ac- prefers suits in neutral colors of tan or tivewear worn over the decades, Bond's Deanne Nguyen is a Will Rice College Granted, Rice males are 20-some- khaki for daylight casual and a darker Flair dress code has always been about the sophomore. thing-year-old students who have variety of gray, black and navy for meet- Bond does not use accessories to things to do, grades to save and little ings and nightly escapades. show off bits of his personality; his ac- time to take care of their daily appear- The jacket is the most important tions do plenty of that. Instead, they are This Week's Fashion Dares from Deanne: ances, but what can be said about a part of the outfit: It sets that undeni- meant to compliment what he's already # 9 man who seems to be under an even ably masculine tone of his presence. It wearing and nothing more. 1. Dress head-to-toe in your significant other's greater level of pressure, with stresses does this by creating the illusion of a V- Color coordination is a must. The favorite color on V-Day. unrivaled? How does one explain why shaped torso of strong, broad shoulders color of the pants needs to match the 2. Go commando. James Bond looks so damn good all and a tapering chest to the waist. jacket exactly or as closely as possible. the time? Bond's shoulder pads hit right The shirt and tie have to play nicely 3. Don't wear a hoodie. Although his ludicrously vast pool above and a smidge beyond where the together, and socks are to match the of wealth accounts for the luxury shoulders slope into his arm. Think shade of the shoes. brands Bond can afford, money is not power, not '80s. Bond occasionally wears a pocket • • sentient, and it alone cannot buy style. The jacket can have up to three but- square in his suit or tuxedo pocket. The Many men with large sums of dough tons. Four, and it not only looks like color should match the tie or shirt. at their disposal have the same prob- you're trying too hard but is also restrict- Though he does venture into the lems as average men: They are unable ing. Bond does not fasten up entirely bright reds, pinks and yellows for ties, to choose for themselves clothes that unless he is sporting a double-breasted Bond sticks to stripes, solid colors or make them look good. variety. He buttons only at the narrow- understated patterns. Bond's creators, however, have est point on his waist, where the middle In terms of watches, Bond has a little empowered him with style that not button should hit if it's a three-button more fun. He's played with a variety of only looks incredibly smart for the coat or the top one on a two-piece vari- face shapes and band materials, and he time, but that also transcends gen- ety. It's less restricting this way and less even had a digital watch at one point, erations, thereby making him the ul- awkward in appearance. but they all share the same hardware timate style icon for men of all ages. The pants and jacket hems are very appeal: large face (square or circle) and « #

/ A month ago, an anonymous A&E Aishwaria Rai is like 35. editor stumbled upon an email titled Thresher: Are you under Rihanna's "Report at the Oscars w/MTV!", invit- umbrella? ing ambitious, outgoing college journal- FA: I think this whole interview ists to send in videos showing why they should just be about Rihanna. should be chosen to represent their col- AP: I want to be Chris Brown. Oh leges as interviewers at this year's Acad- wait, no, I don't. emy Awards. Nonchalantly, the editor Thresher: Assuming you make it forwarded the message to the Thresher there, who are you the most excited to reviewer and Sketch Comedy founder interview at the Oscars? who seemed the most comfortable in the FA: Edward Norton. I'm really im- ill public eye, Faheem Ahmed. pressed with his ability to play multiple # » Little did she know she had created roles, as in American History X. a monster. A few weeks later, Faheem AP: There are so many. Ridley Scott, • uTritwrntt received a call announcing his and his Christopher Nolan, William Hung... cameraman Anish Patel's placement Thresher: What's your favorite I IV I EllW mm HUP IMP # in the contest's top ten contestants. comic book? Hundreds of Rice kids and other sup- AP: Dark Victory. porters screamed, cried and voted on- FA: Long Halloween. Where you can crash and get line with fast fingers and high hopes. A AP: They're both Batman. triumph seemed near, and on Monday, Thresher: What would you tell the your news at the same time. mtvU announced that Rice's team had other teams in the top three about going made the cut as one of the three picked to school in Texas? Register online now and get the to cover (and film!) pre-Oscar events FA: We're all bigger here. and compete for the final honor of Red AP: Come to think of it, I guess the news right in your in box. it's like Carpet correspondent. teams represent all three coasts: West, exploring the universe from the Their facebook group says it all, East and Third. loyal voters. You sent them to L.A., now Thresher: What's one mistake comfort of your own home. help Faheem and Anish go all the way. you're afraid you'll make at the Oscars? Head to www.mtvu.com/on-campus/ FA: Making too much fun of the ac- contests-sweepstakes/oscars/faheem- tors we're interviewing. ahmed-and-anish-patel and make his- AP: Humping Frieda Pinto. tory happen for A&E and Rice students. Thresher: If you could be anyone Then read this Q&A. on YouTube, who would you be? AP: The Stars Wars Kid. I've always The Rice Thresher: What kind of wanted to be a Jedi. deodorant do you wear? FA: Afro Ninja. I've always wanted Faheem Ahmed: None. an afro. Anish Patel: I like to use a little Taco Thresher: Is there anything else Bell sauce. you'd like to add? www 9!£ETUDECIIPD ADA Thresher: Faheem, you've men- FA: We're reallv stoked and proud ivvv vvtlli%E I illmEvnEliillllli tioned before that you find Freida Pinto to be representing Rice in L.A. And we of Slumdog Millionaire highly attractive. thank Slumdog Millionaire for all our How does your girlfriend, Ahona, feel success, because everyone thinks I'm about that? Dev Patel. You can keep voting for us News. Everywhere. The Thresher: FA: Ahona thinks she's hot, too, but until the 20th! If we make it to the Os- she prefers Aishwaria Rai, who's in The cars, I'll give everyone in the Facebook Pink Panther 2 and Bride & Prejudice. group a shout out. I'll go through the But Freida is hot because she's our age. whole list. For five minutes. 16 A&E THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 OFANBOYS • WESTON FROM PAGE 12 FROM PAGE 14 and dripping with dramatic irony they banded together on the Internet drives a tricked-out Chevy Econo- in a million years approach anything Thresher: What was your most (We know Episode I sucked!). But and began a campaign to return the line with a suitcase full of Rush close to the damage that one-sided memorable performance? it is curiously out of place, because film to its original state, a campaign cassettes under the seat and a huge recording contracts have done to artists MW: I was in a trio with bassist Mike there are hardly any other jokes in in which they were successful. red button on the dash that con- over the years. Bullock and saxophonist David Gross, the film which mine the same deli- Admittedly, the premise may trols "lightspeed." Fogler is by far Claiming ownership is tricky, in and we played for most of the student ciously satirical vein of humor. sound stupid, but the film never the funniest cast member to watch, that, where samples are involved, it's body of a small college. As with most That line is all the more ironic takes itself any more seriously than but the main reason is because he easy to point to their use in a song; but shows, we didn't really know how we because it is such an apt descrip- it should. Director Kyle Newman is the one given all the humorous when it's something like Queen quot- would be received, but it didn't really tion of Fanboys itself. Star Wars [The Hollow) and newcomer writer lines. Socially awkward Windows ing Chic's "Good Times" in "Another occur to us until right after we started. A fans and Lucas geeks will walk into Ernest Cline clearly had a lot of (Tropic Thunder's Jay Baruchel), One Bites The Dust," that's seen as lot of the students were shouting at us Fanboys in their storm trooper cos- fun with the subject matter, and it terminally-ill Linus (The Girl Next an homage, as a not-so-subtle wink, "You guys suck!" laughing and walking tumes expecting a joyous homage shows: The number of cameos from Door's Chris Marquette) and fan- even though it's a note-for-note ripoff out. There were 400 people at the be- to the series they love. Instead they a galaxy far, far away (Billy Dee boy-turned-car-salesman-turned- of Bernard Edwards' bassline. There's ginning and 50 at the end. should probably be asking them- Williams, Carrie Fisher, Ray Park, fanboy Eric (Jungle 2 Jungle's Sam also instances like the hour-long ver- selves, "What if the movie sucks?" William Shatner and even Seth Huntington) round out the rest of sion of "My Favorite Things " on John Rogen, who plays multiple charac- the cast. Coltrane's Live In Japan; it's credited to Joe's Take: ters) is staggering, as is the amount At its very core, Fanboys is a Rodgers and Hammerstein, despite the fact that very little of the music played Attention men: If you're look- of Star Wars memorabilia crammed celebration of real-life fanboys and in that hour can be directly attributed A lot of the ing for the perfect way to intro- into each shot: I was able to spot their fanatical dedication to things to them. duce your girlfriend to the magical some of the action figures and play- that don't even exist. It's a film by students were universe of Star Wars without her sets that I had as a kid sitting in fanboys, about fanboys and made Thresher: Tell me about one band shouting "You asking too many questions or com- the background of several scenes. for fanboys, but that's not to say or musician that has you excited and plaining that she's bored only eight There are enough in-jokes pep- that the uninitiated can't enjoy it that you think more people should be guys suck!" and minutes into A New Hope, there pered throughout the film to keep and have a good time watching it. listening to. may be a solution. the real-life fanboys laughing and Unless they're Trekkies. MW: I don't think I can narrow it walking out. Fanboys landed in theaters last plenty of 1998 nostalgia and witty Or Brian Reinhart. down to just one. Trumpeter-composer There were 400 Friday, and while the plot structure humor to keep the remainder of the Bill Dixon has been making incredible is a little thin and overused, there audience entertained. music for 50 years, and in the last cou- people at the be- is still something for everyone to The film rarely throws any cur- ple of years has produced some of his ginning and 50 at enjoy in this flick. Set 11 years ago veballs at the audience, so don't most intriguing and exciting work. My (yes, it's really been that long since expect to have an epiphany while 0 FLICKS bandmates in Barn Owl, Chris Cooper the end. Episode /), the film follows a group watching the film. For the most FROM PAGE 12 and Andy Crespo, are geniuses. Chris part it's just brainless fun and lots put out two records last year, under of former high school friends who 99 cross paths at a Halloween party of yelling and running, and there is Pitt, Matt Damon and others to add his nom-de-tape-manipulation Angst and reminisce about the plans they absolutely nothing wrong with that. up to 11 male leads. Hase Pfeffer Nase, which are wall-to- drew up as kids to travel across the The cinematography and special ef- If you'd rather have a night out wall solid brilliance. Andy's approach Thresher: What's the most joyful country and break into Lucas' Sky- fects aren't anything to write home and see a film in theaters, the newly- to the electric bass is completely unique noise you've ever heard? walker Ranch. When one of them about, but unlike the Star Wars released movie He's Just Not That Into and always stunning. I'm lucky to have MW: Fortunately, that's some- reveals that he is dying from can- prequels, Fanboys relies on enter- You is a good bet for a comedic look them as bandmates. thing that changes from moment to cer, they decide to make the long taining characters and a halfway- at dating that all viewers will enjoy. Thresher: How are your live perfor- moment: Clifford Brown's first solo road trip to California to steal a cut decent story instead of extensive Tomorrow on Valentine's Day, mances different from your recordings? on What Is This Thing Called Love; of the upcoming film for him to see CGI to get the job done. avoid the stress of picking the wrong MW: Very little of what's on Not To the 1986 VW Golf that we use in the before he croaks. The cast meshes very well. Even film and find a happy balance in a Be Taken Away can be reproduced live, auto salvage yard 1 work in, which During its development, Fan- Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Mar- movie that both of you will enjoy. which was my intention. When I'm is missing the catalytic converter; boys faced an extensive rewrite that shall), probably just thrown into 1 promise, there is certainly an playing live, I use a setup that includes Iannis Xenakis' "S.709"; the Beatles' would have removed the cancer the film to offset the testosterone achievable balance between Monty tympani, rototoms, various cymbals, "She Loves You"; Jerry Lewis scream- pl^iine and replaced it with loads levels, plays a believable Star Wars Python and The Wedding Planner. electronics and various metal objects ing and shouting; Public Enemy's oi Wilder-esque toilet humor. nerd. Dan Fogler (Balls of Fury) placed on the head of the tympani. The "Brothers Gonna Work It Out"; and Fortunately, when fans of the film plays Hutch, the trash-talking, over- Jackie Ammons is a Brown College sonorities are definitely different from the frantic flurry that Keith Moon and of Star Wars caught wind of this, weight equivalent of Han Solo. He junior. my studio recordings, but the phrasing closes out a live version of The Who's and themes are similar. "Bargain" with.

KTRU TOP 35: WEEK OF 2.8.2009 ATT&MTIOtJ Okinawa rasta beef artist album label various radio myanmar (burma) sublime frequencies free radicals funk from the first 3 self-released j-Uve then what happened? barely breaking even various desperate man blues dust to digital golden cities golden cities esotype records menahan street band make the road by walking dunham perry, lee 'scratch' repentance narnack anatomy and the Johnsons another world secretly Canadian fight bite emerald eyes self-released miss murgatroid & hearts & daggers haden, petra file under music various bollywood steel guitar sublime frequencies hearts of animals cave lights artstorm records Bring your Rice HedgeHopper card by the gang gang dance saint dymphna the social registry tobacco fucked up friends anticon dam funk rhythm trax vol iv stones throw W. Alabama Mission Burrito any day from now vaudeville accordion clas- doktorski, henry sics: the complete works of bridge records thru the Spring 2009 semester and receive guido deiro wayside drive words self-released alva noto unitxt raster-notion lines, the flood bank acute records zigman, joelle a little night music ep ammonium records anoushka shankar anoushka shankar-live at carnegie hall angel 25% OFF YOUR k-the-i??? yesterday, today & tomor- row mush zomes zomes holy mountain eden & John's east ENTIRE PURCHASE! some cold rainy day river string band east river records (Alcohol excluded of course) richard, rodger, rodney, ras- midnight circus tus, raoul, roderick, randy, hyped2death rupert sorrels, rosalie strangers in another country red house sound neighbors: contem- various porary music in northern smithsonian folk- ireland ways shadow ring, the life review (1993-2003) kye art of field recording volume aE •5 0 MISSION various ii: 50 years of traditional dust to digital wcv american music Alabama v. Ep QO ferrarl, luc/yoshi- les archives sauvees des BURRITO. hlde, otomo eaux callithump lambkin, graham fc More* More f&tivo• lescalleet, Jason the breadwinner erstwhile Richmond dream island laughing lucky dragons language marriage Soufhwesl fwy. | 2245 W. Alabama Houston, TX 77098 • 713.529.0535 the complete studio record- mars ings: nyc 1977-1978 no more records art ensemble of Chi- missionburritos.com cago bap-tizum atlantic oculous sinister oculous sinister self-released SPORTS 17 Track posts impressive numbers in Nebraska Colwick soars to the number one spot in the nation after easily winningMeyo Invitational with 5.60 meter vault by Jonathan Meyers THRESHER STAFF

To take a line from Aerosmith, the men's track and field team's perfor- • IN FOCUS: mance this week was the same old song and dance. TRACK Although the team split up for two Not only did Jason Col- separate meets, the clear headliner was wick climb to the top of the once again junior pole vaulter Jason nation with his record setting Colwick, who vaulted an incredible 5.60 I , pole vault, but he is also now meters at the Frank Sevigne Husker In- ranked 15th in the world. His vitational in Lincoln, Neb. on Saturday recent success puts him in to break not only the indoor record he position to contend in 2012 set just last week, but also the outdoor Olympic Games in London. record of 5.55 meters he set last spring at the Texas Relays. heptathlon at the conference meet. To complete the story, Colwick was "Connor had a pretty good hep- named Conference USA Male Athlete Freshman Clayton Chaney soared in the high jump at Yeoman Fieldhouse two weeks ago. He finished fourth tathlon," Warren said. "He just put of the Week for the second time in a this week in the 60-meter hurdles with a time of 8.14 seconds, coming close to setting a personal best. a nice seven events together. ... He row, as his vault not only easily won knows he can be consistent and do the meet, but also set the meet record. His teammates, junior Chris Kato and this week,] he did really well." really well. [And| I still think he can Colwick is now the owner of the na- trapped him in." sophomore Garrett Stafford, also more be a great jumper." tion's top collegiate mark in the pole Freshman Clayton Chaney also The shot putters gave another solid than held their own with vaults of 4.90 As far as the Texas A&M Invita- vault, and he is currently 15th in the finished fourth in the 60-meter effort as well, with sophomore Clay Bak- meters and 4.75 meters, respectively. tional set for this weekend, Warren world this year. hurdles, nearly setting a personal er throwing 15.81 meters to finish first at The Owls also continued to get solid best with a time of 8.14 seconds. the All-Comers meet, while freshmen said he had a good idea about both Head coach Jon Warren (Jones contributions from freshmen, including Freshman Collin Shurbet also had a Will Meyers and Alex Zinchenko con- his strategies and expectations for '88) said he was not surprised by Dan Sloat's third place time of 1 minute, good performance in the 400-meter tinued to improve in Nebraska. Meyers the meet. Colwick's repeat performance. 55.07 seconds in the 800 meters. dash, with a time of 50.37, good claimed eighth with a throw of 15.78 me- "I think the throwers can do well, "He went from No. 3 in the nation Warren said he was pleased enough for fifth at the University of ters and Zinchenko tossed 13.48 meters the triple jumpers we hope will do well, to No. 1 in the nation," Warren said. with Sloat's perseverance over the Houston All-Comers meet. to finish 18th. [and we will] get some good marks "It's very difficult to top a meet record past couple of meets, culminating Warren said the indoor track Shur- In the heptathlon, sophomore in the [400 meters] from Shurbet and and to get No. 1 in the nation. He's in this race. bet ran on actually prevented him Connor Hayes finished sixth, show- [sophomore] Ryan Gard," Warren said. vaulting well enough, or could be "His previous races were not indi- from finishing with a better time. ing solid efforts in each of the seven "This is the meet where we hope we see vaulting well enough, to talk about... cations of what he could do," Warren "He got in a real bad box," War- events. Warren said he is currently the kids coming around. We're bring- medaling in the Olympics." said. "He got in a big traffic jam with ren said. "He got two guys on the planning to have Hay^s, Chaney and ing everybody, and hopefully we'll get Colwick was not the only pole about 300 meters to go last week. [But other teams on either side of him and senior Tyler Whitham compete in the some results we're happy with." vault star for the Owls this weekend. Women's basketball looks for spark against familiar foes

by Yan Digilov Quintero hopes they can show once Washington. With only one senior THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF again. The most obvious factor that on the team, and a concomitant has been lacking throughout their shooting slump from Watts, there After completing half of the sea- recent losing spree is a balanced has been a desperate need for a son's conference games, the women's offensive attack. leader to step up and create a sense basketball team has yet to register a In the game against George Wash- of urgency. win against a Conference USA oppo ington, freshman D'Frantz Smart was "It has been really rough and it has nent. Now, the team will be forced to the high scorer with 22 points, fol- been embarrassing," Wittmayer said. put the past behind them and acquire lowed by senior Maudess Fulton's 20 "We don't really think about the fact a new attitude while playing against and junior Tara Watts's 14. Of those that we are 0-10 until we are about some familiar faces. players, only Fulton has maintained to play the team. I don't feel like we The first of those attempts turned a high level of play, allowing oppo- are not trying; I feel like it is slipping out to be a failure last week when the nents to focus on preventing her from through our fingers somehow. It has Owls (5-18, 0-10 C-USA) had consecu- getting to the basket. The Owls have got to be that second half in the last tive games against cross town rival been sorely missing consistent play five minutes when we just can't pull it University of Houston. After losing a from anyone else on the squad. together as a team." close game at Tudor Fieldhouse on "That is were we need to come But there does not seem to be Jan. 28, Rice delivered an unimpres- together - consistency," sophomore anything that can motivate the team sive performance at Hofheinz Pavil- center Melissa Wittmayer said. to come together. The young team is ion on Saturday. "Right now, we don't have one per- only hoping that after having played It took the Owls four minutes son that is doing everything. Prob- the squads before, they will be able to to even hit the rim with a shot at- ably the most consistent person is learn from the mistakes of the past. tempt, as the Cougars (15-7, 7-3 C- Fulton right now, with her attitude The Owls played the University of USA) took an early 12-0 lead in the leading the team and the way she Texas^El Paso last night, but the re- rematch. For the rest of the game, plays on the court." sults of the match up were not avail- Rice flashed the same inconsistency Smart is still not taking part in full able at the time of publication. UTEP it has exhibited all year long with practices as she recovers from a foot (13-10, 6-4 C-USA) was responsible for several scoring runs that put the injury. Before her injury, she was the the first loss of Rice's recent streak, Cougars in a defensive mode, but leading scorer and regularly played due in large part to the individual ef- the visiting team could never climb 35-40 minutes per game. Since return- fort of junior Jareica Hughes. back into real contention. ing, she has not scored double-digits Tomorrow, Rice takes on the Uni- Head coach Greg Williams (Han- and has been uncharacteristically versity of Tulane, who beat the Owls szen '70) was discouraged that his losing the ball with regularity. by 28 points two days after they lost team did not show up mentally ready "I am just getting back into basket- to UTEP in early January. The Green to play against their rival. ball mode," Smart said. "I am slowly Wave (14-10, 6-4 C-USA) are currently "You are always surprised when trying to get back, but it is a struggle. riding a three-game winning streak. that happens," Williams said. "It is not ... My injury hasn't really healed itself Several times before, the squad like we changed the starting lineup. We yet. I am disappointed." has approached conference games 1 just played this team on Wednesday." Along with putting points on the without the belief they can win. Rice's next four games will be re- board. Smart regularly contributed to Quintero said he believes that elimi- matches against C-USA opponents, the intensity on the court, a charac- nating this lack of confidence is the and it will be a challenge for the teristic that the team has missed as first step towards getting some key coaching staff to maintain a positive much as anything else. wins before the C-USA tournament attitude in the face of a ten-game los- "We are a really quiet team," begins in March. ing stretch. Williams said. "We are an unemo- "I think a lot of it is confidence," "The key for this weekend is know- tional group. That is OK if you are Quintero said. "With the results of ing that we have a second chance to executing, but we are not. Part of some of the games that we have had make amends," assistant coach Car- the reason we are not is because we ... you tend to start doubting yourself. los Quintero (Baker '98) said. "That aren't communicating." Self doubt, not being sure of yourself, ARIEL SCHMITZER/THRESHER is what we are trying to do." The lack of emotion has manifest- is just going to cause you to go out J The Owls last played a complete, ed itself throughout the year, as the and make those mistakes. You have quality game 11 games ago, on Jan. 5 Owls have not been able to compose to keep working on it, and more im- Senior Maudess Fulton fights for a rebound at the University of Houston. against George Washington Univer- themselves in tight spots, some- portantly, get that mental toughness Her teammates have identified her as the leader of the struggling squad. to a higher level." 0 sity, flashing all the attributes that thing they last did against George FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 18 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER Basketball focuses on ECU Split track squad Owls fall to UH Saturday, make comeback against USM Wednesday

by Brody Rollins nant added 15 off of 5-9 shooting from bounding and points scored in the continues success THRESHER STAFF the three-point line. paint over the past three games, by Natalie Clericuzio both posted season-best times in The Pirates have played consid- mainly due to the emergence of senior >yHRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF the 3000-meter run and both earned Were it not for University of Hous- erably better within the confines of forward Aleks Perka and sophomore TH provisional-qualifying times for center Trey Stanton. ton guard Aubrey Coleman, who Mingles Arena, where their record is The slowest time in the women's the NCAA Championships. Waite's played perhaps the finest twenty min- 9-4 on the year. During this stretch, Perka has av- 3000-meter run ever to qualify for the 9:16.90, which was 11 seconds faster utes of basketball the men's basketball A key to Rice's victory over the eraged over 15 points per game and NCAA Indoor Track and Field Cham- than her effort last weekend, is the team has seen all year, Rice's execu- Pirates just two weeks ago was pe- had his second career double-double pionship is 9 minutes, 18 seconds. i3th-fastest time run this season, as tion and patience on the offensive end rimeter defense. The Owls held the against the Pirates. Last weekend at the Notre Dame's well as the top time in Conference would in all likelihood have ended the trigger-happy Pirates to 11-31 shoot- "[Head] coach [Ben Braun] got us Meyo Invitational in South Bend, USA. Her mark is also the second- team's two-year losing streak against ing from behind the arc, well below in the mindset of being aggressive Ind., senior Lennie Waite ran a 9:16. fastest 3000 ever run in Rice's history. its crosstown rival. their C-USA-leading season average of in the practice and in the games," While the season will not conclude Pam Klassen (Lovett '86) is the only The Owls (8-15, 3*6 Conference 41 percent. Perka said. "We saw that in most of until the end of the month, it looks runner with a faster time, at 9:11.32. USA) and the Cougars (15-7, 6-3 C-USA The Owls capitalized on the poor our games the guards were scoring as though Waite has at least a decent Bevan said he was extremely battled back and forth Saturday night shooting, out-boarding the Pirates 44- 75 percent of our points. We took of- shot to qualify for the premier compe- impressed by Waite's consistent at Hofheinz Pavilion, but after the sev- 37 in the game. fense to that and our hard work has tition in the country. improvement. enth lead change with just 3:21 to go in started to show." Waite and the rest of the women's "That was a tremendous perfor- the game, Houston pulled away for the Against the Cougars, Perka scored track and field team will have the mance," Bevan said. "She led for the 72-65 victory. ten points and Stanton added 11 to go opportunity to first 2000 meters along with a season-high 13 rebounds. Coleman, playing in his first year secure more post- of the 3000 in a To make up for their struggles for the Cougars after transferring season berths next field with some of rebounding the ball, the Owls have from Southwest Mississippi College, weekend when a the better runners DID YOU KNOW? devoted nearly a third of their prac- scored 21 points in the second half 28-woman squad in the country. It tice time in recent weeks to drills de- against the multiple defensive sets Last season, the men's basket- competes at the showed an awful signed for increasing their efficiency the Owls employed to force the ball ball team's overall record was Texas A&M Invi- lot of willpower to around the glass. TEXAS A&M to one of his teammates. Even with 3-27 on the season, with one tational in College go out and lead like the added defensive attention, Cole- conference win. After Wednes- One drill, called "circle the wag- Station. There, the INVITATIONAL that." man drove to the basket seemingly at day's win over Southern Miss, on," mimics game-type situations Owls will compete He said Mericle's • • will or displayed his mid-range game the team is 8-15 with three wins WHEN by spreading five offensive players against every Di- run also showed and made baskets from locations all over C-USA opponents. See www. Alt Day Saturday around the court and forcing the de- vision I school great promise for the over the court. ricethresher.org for USM recap. fenders to rotate to a different player in Texas, along WHERE rest of her season. Senior guard Rodney Foster did his with each blown whistle. Once the College Station with Louisiana "She's getting best to keep the Owls in the game, scor- ball is shot, the defender, often in Tech University, HISTORY on a roll again," ing 20 points and dishing out four as- Controlling the glass and limiting transition, must find his man and box the University of A&M's state-of-the-art fa- Bevan said. "Two sists. Unfortunately, his effort was not opponents' second chance oppor- out for the rebound. Miami, Arizona cility will be the site of this weeks ago for her • • enough to save his team from defeat. tunities has been a significant story "It's competitive and everybody's State University year's National Indoor Cham- was very good. This This Saturday, the Owls will at- line for Rice this season. The Owls going hard, because if you lose you and Northwestern pionships. Rice will have the last week was even tempt to leave last weekend's dis- have outrebounded opponents by an have to run," Stanton said. University. The opportunity to prep for that better." appointment behind them when average of five rebounds per game The rotational aspect of the drill meet by competing against competition will However, the they travel to Greenville, N.C., for a during each of their victories, yet creates awkward matchups for players No. 1-ranked A&M. be stiff, as Arizona distance runners rematch against East Carolina Uni- have averaged seven fewer rebounds with guards often boxing out forwards State won the na- were not the sole versity. In their first meeting of the in their losses. or vice versa, but has helped players tional indoor title team members with season on Jan. 31, the Owls built a In the loss to Houston, the become more accountable for their two years ago and impressive week- 19-point lead in the first half and Owls played well enough to have role on the court during a game each Texas A&M was ranked first in the ends. In the pole vault, sophomore hung on to beat the Pirates (12-11, a chance at winning with five min- time the ball is shot. nation coming into the 2009 season. Ari Ince continued her successful 3-6 C-USA) 76-70 at Tudor Field- utes left, but a series of missed Rebounding also helps the team Also, the meet will have additional season, placing second overall with a house in January. defensive rebounds and put-backs push the tempo and score points in championship feel, since the Aggies' vault of 3.90 meters at the Frank Sevi- In their most recent 89-75 victory by the Cougars effectively put the • I # transition through quick outlet passes brand-new indoor facility happens to gne Invitational in Omaha, Neb. over the University of Central Florida, game out of reach. from the forwards to the guard, some- be the site of this year's champion- Back in Indiana, junior Brittany East Carolina forward Jamar Adams Outside of the final minutes, the • • thing Braun has tried to get his players ship meet. Washington ran the fastest 400-meter scored 25 points and guard Sam Hin- Owls have improved markedly in re- to do all season. Head coach Jim Bevan said the op- run of her career, tallying a mark of portunity to run on the championship 55.22. Washington's time earned her track is not one Rice takes lightly. third place, Rice's top overall time "It's a start-of-the-art facility we're at Notre Dame. The junior also ran a looking forward to competing on be- strong leg for the 4x400 relay team, cause it's one of the best tracks in the along with classmates Vicki Walker, United States," Bevan said. Shakera Reece and Sarah Lyons. The This past weekend was one of four Owls posted their top finish of continued success not only by Waite, the season thus far at 3:44.14, and at who finished fourth, but across the six seconds faster than a week ago, team. Eight competitors posted sea- their time also places them ahead of son or lifetime bests in their perfor- the rest of C-USA. mances this weekend. Perhaps most In addition, Reece's 24.50 in the impressively, freshman Keltie John 200-meter dash was her fastest this posted lifetime bests in both the mile season and earned her seventh place and 800 meters over the course of overall, while Walker ran her fast- 90 minutes. est 800 this year in 2:14.33. Junior Waite and junior Nicole Mericle 0 see WTRACK, page 22 • «t

WILLY'S PUB • €» Monday, feb. 16 VISION Open Mic Night A 9 pm - 12 am

Tuesday. feb.'17 • 0 Super Secret Magical Mystery Event! Wednesday, feb. 18 Battle of the Sexes Trivia • # Hosted by OPEN Magazine fit Thursday, feb. 19 One Love Pub Night Come jam-out to Bob Marley f j in some Jamaican duds LAUREN SCHOEFFLER/THRESHER friday ' feb. 20 Junior Lawrence Ghoram passes by a leaping Southern Miss defender Wednesday night. With the Owls' win over the Phil's Phriday: 4pm-8:30pm Golden Eagles, their second in their last three, Rice is tied with SMU and Marshall for three conference wins overall. • * FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS 19 Women's tennis sweeps week's competition

by Prem Ramkumar in California since those opportunities are so THRESHER STAFF limited," senior Emily Braid said. "But it was still good to go to Louisiana where we played The women's tennis team continued their really well despite windy conditions which fantastic play by managing to win every sin- will help us down the road at places like Lub- gle point in their last two matches against bock." Louisiana-Lafayette and Prairie View. The Owls returned to action at Jake Hess Because of rare showers in California this Wednesday against a short-handed Prairie View past weekend, the team postponed their trip to A&M University that arrived with only five play- 6oth ranked St. Mary's and 15th ranked Fresno ers. Defaulting the sixth singles spot, the Pan- State. Fortunately, first year head coach Eliza- thers gave the Owls the confidence of a 1-0 lead beth Schmidt was able to quickly schedule a before beginning the match. The Owls contin- match against Louisiana-Lafayette last Saturday. ued strong play with five singles victories and The Owls used this as a tune-up match so a doubles point. The doubles teams both regis- as to not let a precious weekend go by with- tered 8-0 wins by staying aggressive and dictat- out match play. The team dispatched the ing the style of play, a successful strategy that Ragin' Cajuns 7-0, running their season re- brought the Owls a 6-0 team victory. cord up to 6-1. "We played good tennis today," Schmidt With dominant doubles play from Julie said. "Our doubles was very impressive, and Chao and Ana Guzman, the Owls showcased we only lost six games on the day. I'm very their aggressiveness by sweeping the doubles happy with the way they are coming together point and clinching the match with straight- right now." set singles victories from still-undefeated The Owls showcased their depih chart by sophomore Jessica Jackson, sophomore Varsha withholding stars Julie Chao and Ana Guz- Shiva-Shanker, and freshman Alex Rasch. man from the action while still managing an "It was frustrating to not be able to get in easy win against the Panthers. quality ranked opponents this past weekend a see TENNIS, page 22 Junior Rebecca Lin defeated Prairie View A&M's Melissa Guerrier 6-0,6-1 on Wednesday at home. Lousiana State narrowly defeats men's tennis

by Casey Michel Christoph Miiller was not expect- of facing the Tigers' second-toughest dropped a pair of match points against to give the Tigers the victory-clinch- THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF ing a jump to the top. Granted, this opponent, Miiller would instead face then-No. 74 Venus, resulting in Rice's ing points. is his senior season, but after three a foe who he, and the rest of the coun- eventual 4-3 loss. That first go-round, "I think we played well," Us- ! 0 Yes, the men's tennis team lost on years of playing second fiddle to Ben try, knows well: Michael Venus. it would appear, taught Miiller a few tundag said. "It's just the theme, un- Friday to No. 15 Louisiana State Uni- Harknett (Wiess '08) and junior Bru- Venus, like Miiller, has been the lessons, because on Friday he came fortunately, that we play these tough versity. Rice's third loss in a row came no Rosa — the team's top option since second-best performer for the entire out with his strongest performance of teams on the road and put ourselves by a score of 4-3 in Baton Rouge, La., last year — Miiller had always been spring season. But while Miiller was his senior year. in situations to win and just don't dropping the 27th-ranked Owls to 7-3 relegated to a secondary position on only No. 2 on his squad, Venus is No. 2 quite put it away when we have to." on the year and marking the midpoint the squad. in the nation. Although LSU had already won ti of a laborious, seven-week road trip. However, Rosa's sluggish start to "We felt Christoph's game had ele- the match when it came time for Miil- ^ But that is not the main storyline the season allowed Miiller an opportu- vated and he was ready to give [No. 1] ler to play, he had no idea. Thus, he to emerge from the Louisiana jaunt. nity to prove himself. On Friday, Miil- a shot," assistant coach Efe Ustundag It doesn't matter to me played the match with Venus just like The team fought tooth and nail for ler's coaches slotted him at the No. 1 (Baker '99) said. "We felt like it was a where I play ... I was any other. the win, but the Tigers' wins did not position against then-i7th-ranked good matchup." But no matter the way he looked arise in the places one would expect. LSU, but it came with a catch. Instead Last March, then-No. 49 Miiller happy about [being at it, the match was not like those he No. 1], but it doesn't had played in the past. For the first time in his college career, Miiller was affect the way I could at the top of a healthy squad, lead- Looking for a summer internship or a career have performed, or ing a team he has played on for four tried to perform. straight years. in the non-profit sector? The pressure was evident — in- Christoph Miiller creased by a raucous, taunting LSU crowd — but Miiller entered the match Stop by the W with a team-first mentality that the Owls have adopted. "It doesn't matter to me where But before Miiller could have his I play," Miiller said. "I mean, I was rematch, there were other matches happy about [being No. l], but it Good Works Internship to be played. The Tigers fired the first doesn't affect the way I could have salvo with a sweep of doubles, the performed, or tried to perform." second time a team had blanked the Avoiding his opponent's big fore- Owls' doubles slate in as many weeks. hand, Miiller hammered his way back & Career Fair Rosa and junior Chong Wang gave from a 2-5 deficit, taking the first set the best shot at getting on the board, 7-6. Venus then worked a 6-4 win in but their late hold against LSU's Mark the second set, setting up the pair's Bowtell and James Cluskey faltered in third-straight three-set match. an 8-6 defeat. However, the third set proved to o Thursday, February 19 Singles then opened with Rosa's be decidedly anticlimactic, as Miiller rebound against Cluskey at No. 2, fought off an early break point and RMC - Grand Hall a 6-t, 6-1 victory that gave the 26th- blazed to a 6-1 win. Miiller remains ranked Rosa his first win in three undefeated on the season, and will matches. officially earn a ranking when next 2 pm - 5 pm Two spots down the ladder, fresh- week's Intercollegiate Tennis Asso- man Sam Garforth-Bles took on Se- ciation polls come out. «• bastian Carlsson. The Tiger stormed For Ustundag, the Midler's resur- Garforth-Bles, ranked 61st, in the first gence could not be more beneficial to Learn about full or part-time employment set and hung on in the second set to his team. take a 6-0, 7-6 (6) win and put his "Right now we have two guys opportunities, paid and un-paid internships, and! team up 2-1. who are legitimate No. 1 players," Freshman Isamu Tachibana took he said. "We're just going to play it year of service programs. a point at No. 6, but Wang and senior by ear. With both of them winning, Tobias Scheil failed to nail the big it's just going to be easier to play points, each barely losing in two sets around with."

Attending agencies include: UPCOMING SCHEDULE: Men's Tennis 2009 Amigos de las Americas Communities in Schools College for All Texans City Hall Fellows M.D Anderson Writers in Schools DATE OPPONENT LOCATION Breakthrough Houston Cultural Embrace Bering Omega 2/21 Furman Tallahassee, Fla. Ten Thousand Villages ACLU ofTexas Best Buddies Texas 2/22 Florida State Tallahassee, Fla. HealthCorps Environment America Habitat for Humanity 3/03 San Diego San Diego, Calif. 3/13 Duke lake Hess Tennis Stadium For more information and a complete list of participating agencies, please visit 3/15 Southern Miss lake Hess Tennis Stadium the Community Involvement Center's website: http://www.rice.edu/service 3/17 Texas Austin, Texas 3/20 Texas - Pan Am Jake Hess Tennis Stadium Sponsored by the Community Involvement Center 3/21 A&M Corpus Christi Jake Hess Tennis Stadium

3/22 San Diego lake Hess Tennis Stadium FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 20 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER Coming to America

. ,. u ft a * m m by Jonathal Threshel i

Someone should really consider follow- collective success in the throwing ring, Alex Head coach Jon Warren ing Alexander Zinchenko to men's track meets didn't try the sport until recently. (Jones '88) said he is in- with a boom box. That way they could blare the "I started track and field just two years ago," trigued by Zinchenko's spooky electronic music that announced Ivan Zinchenko said. "1 mostly played handball and abilities but real- Drago's triumphant entrance into the arena be- soccer, both indoors and in the street. In Europe, izes that his learn- fore his bout with Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. A we don't have the conditions for a stadium, so ing curve is steep fog machine wouldn't hurt either. we didn't have indoor events like they do here. compared to that The Brown College freshman, who ma- The training remains the same, however: If you of the other throw- triculated at the beginning of the spring se- don't have confidence in yourself, you aren't go- ers who have never mester and had spent all of four weeks in the ing to perform well." lived outside of the United States, is quickly establishing himself That self-conviction doesn't come without sup- U.S., and who have as a member of the Fantastic Four who com- port. Despite his lack of experience in the sport, been exposed to American Alex began a meteoric rise in the shot-putting training methods all their lives. prise Rice men's shot corps. Rounding out the m Four are freshman Will Meyers, junior Philip world starting in 2007. In August 2008, while most "In Europe, a lot of times you don't Adam and sophomore Clay Baker, who took Rice students were getting ready to head back to prepare for indoor [meets], but he does first place at the Feb. 16 Leonard Hilton Invita- the confines of the hedges, Alex was representing have great potential," Warren said. tional. However, Zinchenko, a 6-5, 250-lb. be- Austria at the 12th IAAF World Junior Champion- Zinchenko participated at the Leon- hemoth, is the only one who originated from ships in Bydgoszcz, Poland. (His passport actually ard Hilton Invitational two weekends across the pond. states his nationality as Austrian, even though he ago and finished eighth overall, contrib- While Zinchenko may share his massive has never lived there, thanks to the fact that his uting to the Owls' first-place team finish. build and his Russian heritage with Drago, mother was a part of the Austrian Olympic team). Last Saturday at the Houston Invitational \ that's where the similarities end. You'll find Alex finished 13th at the event with a throw of 17.21 Zinchenko finished 17th, good for third no sinister hypodermic needles or massive meters, and his personal best heading into the in- place among Rice throwers. However, futuristic workout machines in this Rus- door season was 18.06 meters. Alex was not satisfied with these results. sian's dorm room. Zinchenko got his impos- "Theoretically, 1 feel like 1 am at the same level "I didn't even know how I finished • + ing frame naturally, as both his mother and as Baker, so it's [legitimate] to want to win. But I when I left the meet, but I know I didn't father were Olympians in the shot put: His am persistent, and used to setbacks," Zinchenko do well," Zinchenko said. • C» father represented the U.S.S.R. in the 1988 said. "But in Portugal, I had a huge advantage in The question you may be wondering Summer Games in Seoul, South Korea, and my size. The competition in Portugal was exis- now is how this Russo-Portuguese man, threw for Ukraine in the 1992 Games in Bar- tent, but in the U.S. it's a little different. In Portu- who represented the Austrian junior na- celona, Spain, as well as the 1996 games in gal and Europe, I was one of the better guys, but tional team at the junior world champion- Atlanta. He also placed fifth at the World here there are hundreds of guys across the coun- ships, ended up at Rice. It turns out that Championships in 1987, as well as in 1993. try that are on the same level as me, or better. I he came for the same reason that many Born in Russia, Alex moved to Lisbon, Portu- think the difference in competition and facilities others in Rice Athletics came. gal, at the age of seven, after his parents signed might be bigger between Russia and Portugal "Rice was the only school that of- a contract with a local club. Despite his parents' than between Portugal and the U.S." fered me a scholarship, and it had a good reputation academically, so I decided to come here," Zinchenko said. "Houston is a nice city, and «< it seems like there is a lot of stuff { 1)tit. • to do." It seems that Zinchenko has ad- justed relatively well to life at Rice, / academically and socially. "There's a possibility of doing everything here," he said. "When • t I want to go out and party, I can find people to do that with, and a place to go. When I want to study, I can do that, too. My roommate is great at support- ing me and helping me with life in the U.S." As far as whether his knowl- edge of multiple languages, along with a foreign accent, has helped him with the ladies, Alex is a little more candid. "Most of the girls here are friendly and approachable," j Zinchenko said. "Maybe / my accent is good, I don't know. Sometimes I tell them I'm Russian, and sometimes I tell them I'm Portuguese. Either way it works, since I can speak both languages. I don't exactly look Portuguese though, so they figure out pretty quickly I'm joking." It appears that the Rice men's track team has found in Zinchenko an athlete with a story unlike any other. Despite his calm and friendly demeanor, it is still possible for Owl fans to one day hear Alex Originally from Russia, Zinchenko issue a simple warning and his family have a history of Freshman Alexander Zinchenko arrived in the country from Portugal less than four months ago, to opponents: I must athletic prowess. Both of his par- but his massive figure and great potential are already attracting attention on and off the field. break you. ents were Olympic athletes in the shot put. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS 21

WHERE THRESHER SPORT B ED (TOR 8 ARE TOO LAZY TO NOT RIP OFF ESPN

OR, HOW L LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE LIGHTER SIDE OF SPORTS

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Surprise at Alex's 'Roid Rodriguez no longer able use totally unfounded to be baseball's savior

by Natalie Clericuzio used steroids. by Casey Michel will be the chunks of concrete that have THHRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Do not misinterpret me: I do not THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF crumbled from baseball's foundation, oblit- condone the use of steroids. The fact erated by a 2003 test whose results should In case you haven't heard, a report came that steroid use was so commonplace When I first heard the news that Alex never have been revealed to SI.com. out Saturday that Alex Rodriguez tested posi- in baseball over the past 20-odd years Rodriguez used steroids, there was noth- And yet they were. And now we're stuck tive for anabolic steroid use in 2003. is extremely unfortunate. However, I ing but shock. The report triggered a San with the realization that America's pastime And you're surprised because...? also do not believe that this will be the Andreas fault-line straight through my will never have the comfort of continuity that I get it. He's the guy with the ridiculous downfall of baseball as we know it. aorta; it created a blow to the gut that it long provided. contract that's going to pay him multi-mil- Or that this renders anything accom- could have turned Lennox Lewis into a Bringing the past into the present, cre- lion-dollar bonuses when his home run to- plished in the last 20 years in baseball pile of mush. ating the ties and relationships that only tal ties Willie Mays', Babe Ruth's and Hank empty and pointless. Shock. Clear and sharp, painful and Marty McFly could experience, was always Aaron's. He was going to save baseball from These years of widespread steroid wrenching. the greatest part of baseball. Achievements Barry Bonds, the home run king with the pro- use are just that: a steroid era. The All of this surprise, all of this reverbera- were cemented in decades, battered by wars verbial asterisk tattoo. playing field was one in which play- tion, wrought by a man whose transgres- and economic slumps, surviving our lineage Honestly, though, didn't anyone think it ers used steroids with equal availabil- sions should have been limited to blonde and allowing comparison between the gen- was slightly suspicious that A-Rod was always ity. We know the use of steroids was bimbos and Material Girls. erations. These numbers created epics. Babe so buddy-buddy with Barry likely the norm rather Years ago, I acquiesced to the fact that Ruth has a heartier following than Barack Bonds? Even when every than the exception my childhood love, baseball, turned out Obama; Cy Young's name will live on long other baseball player would if even the game's to be smoke, mirrors and a whole lot after David Petraeus passes; Willie Mays and rather have been accused of best player thought more. The teams I grew up with were Hank Aaron will inspire more people than befriending the Unabomb- using a little some- laboratories, comprised of dishonest the Jonas Brothers ever could. + er, Rodriguez could always thing to get ahead DH's and petulant pitchers all search- As a child, I was one of those in awe of the be found palling around might not be such a ing for an improper edge. numbers. I remember lying in bed, paging c» v/ith Bonds. big deal. We all know the names. We all through my book of "100 Greatest Baseball Or what about when Jose Without pen- know their transgressions. Mark Moments," soaking up the grainy images of a Canseco suggested that Ro- alties in place by McGwire was the original villain, time long past. My history teachers could not driguez wasn't totally clean? the league for us- z duping us first and cutting us the reach me in the way that these recountings Granted, Canseco comes off ing "banned sub- deepest. Roger Clemens was the could. I imagined where the current teams, as about as trustworthy as stances" the sub- angriest man this side of Chris- rife with power, met their previous counter- a used car dealer, but there stances could not tian Bale, a "clear" aftereffect of parts and smiled with the knowledge that we are definitely other players have actually been his usage. And Barry Bonds was could measure time based on wins, losses, he could have implicated banned. Honestly, despised, sick with jealousy, so and everything in between. who would have fallen fur- how many people his guilt was sealed long before This makes what Alex Rodriguez did in- ther from grace than Rodri- would choose not the underpinnings of his game escapable. As much as I hate to say it, I was guez. Derek Jeter, anyone? to do something to were revealed. cheering for Rodriguez How about the plain fact help them get ahead America had no to continue his trek that although the use of ste- in their profession if problem condemning to 762 home runs. He roids without a prescription there were no pen- these traitors to his- would be the savior has been illegal in Major alty? Bans without tory, these thieves of a that reconnected the League Baseball since 1991, penalties are worth- nation's loyalty. They passage severed by ste- there were no penalties for less, as baseball has were disreputable roids. His talents were it in 2003, the year A-Rod seen and now has bunch, and their pun- natural. His monetary was tested? And that at that worked to correct. ishments more than fit greed was unfortunafp, time Rodriguez was being paid more than any Really and truly, the only play- their crimes. but his achievements, other professional player in any sport? And er left I would be shocked to learn But Alex Rodriguez fashioned during an that he's never been one to deal well with used steroids is Jeter. There are was clean. He was a era of uncertainty, pressure to perform? And the fact that every- probably dozens of other ballplay- prodigy, a five-tool could at least be held body and his brother were using steroids in ers who are just as upstanding as player who resembled to a higher standard. baseball in 2003? Jeter, but few with as much to gain Bonds' early mold but Perhaps I was na- Rodriguez himself, in his admission to Pe- as The Captain. Jeter's claim to checked his envy at ive. Perhaps I refused ter Gammons on Feb. 9, stated "1 got caught fame has always been hitting for Derek Jeter's door. His to give up the slice up in this 'Everybody's doing it' era, so why the average, and in recent years, power was uncompro- of childhood belief not experiment with X, Y and Z?" even that has been difficult. mised, lean and fit that lingered when For those reasons alone, it pretty much While steroids would not have where McGwire was I watched baseball, only makes sense that Rodriguez would be improved his swing, maybe they bulging and doughy. keeping me steadfastly using them. He had nothing to lose in 2003, would have upped his power, And while his cuck- convinced that one day when steroid testing was supposed to be com- thus diversifying him as a play- olding was unbecom- Rodriguez would wipe pletely anonymous. The tests in which A-Rod er. In fact, many experts have ing, his misbehavior the slate of Bonds' tested positive for anabolic steroids were speculated had Barry Bonds not landed him a relation- stain. Perhaps I had too done only to see if five percent of those play- used steroids, he would have ship with a crypt-keeper named much faith in the goodness of an era, the be- ers tested were using. They were, and in 2004, had stats very similar to Madonna, an unenviable lief that someone other than Ken Griffey Jr. testing with penalties started in the pros. Derek Jeter's. jiA duty that even he was also clean. In fact, if the players' union had destroyed But that's not what didn't deserve. But after last Saturday, any faith I harbored the test results to preserve their anonymity, happened. Bonds, Sure, I hated the is gone, replaced by callousness and sorrow. like they were supposed to in the first place, like A-Rod and others, guy. I couldn't stand We can never see how far we've come. We had Alex's steroid use would still be between him used steroids. It helped the dispassion he dis- already given up on the realities of McGwire, and his supplier. some, it hurt others in the long played, his willingness to Bonds, and Clemens, resigned to the fact that So really all these leaked test results do run (see Jason Giambi). With more act as a mercenary rather than a their careers were embroiled in shadows and is confirm what you should have already as- stringent testing, you'd have to be man. I took solace in the fact that sideways glances. Alex Rodriguez now joins sumed: yet another high-profile baseball an idiot to use steroids in today's he'd never won a World Series. I this unholy bunch, creating a Mt. Rushmore player, perhaps the biggest of them all, used game. Now. hopefully, that period is grinned amidst the flurry of Mo- of malfeasance. steroids. Perhaps steroid use really is just as behind us. nopoly money that greeted his re- I can only hope that, someday, this moun- widespread as many of us have feared. As With stakes as high as they are in turns to Seattle's Safeco Field. tain of deceit crumbles in the same shock- the rest of the results from these 2003 tests professional baseball, though, I'm That was then. This, unfortu- ing manner that baseball's history has. Until become public, I doubt Rodriguez will be the not holding my breath. nately, is now. then, though, the burns will remain. And my only player receiving unwanted limelight. When I view A-Rod, A-Fraud, faith in my sport — our sport, America's sport What I am surprised about is how many Natalie Clericuzio is a Wiess A-Roid, there will no longer — will be no more. sportswriters are indicting baseball as a sport College sophomore. be enmity flowing through after this new proof that its greatest player my veins. Instead, there Casey Michel is a Brown College junior. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 22 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER

G3 SPORTS NOTEBOOK relay — freshman Alison Godbe, Swim team Warner, Ackerman and Gu hit the downs UIW wall at 1:40.19. Assistant coach Jada Hallmark The swim team beat the Uni- (Sid 'oi) said the meet was a wel- versity of the Incarnate Word 189- come opportunity for the team to 104 last Saturday in San Antonio, have fun with competition. winning 12 out of the 14 races and "[The meet] gave us a chance taking at least first and second to swim some off-events, which place in 11 events. was exciting, fun, [and] not very Seniors Skylar Craig, Carly- much pressure," Hallmark said. ann Miller, Natalie Kirchoff and "(The team] did a great job. They Diane Gu started the Owls off on still got up there and raced each W a good note, taking first place other and the clock and com- in the 200-yard medley relay peted." in 1:51.97. junior Megan Land, — Tracy Dansker sophomores Kait Chura and Ashten Ackerman and freshman Alexandra Ernst grabbed second Astros shortstop place. Ernst came back to win pleads guilty the 200-yard butterfly, followed by senior Caitlin Warner, Chura Miguel Tejada pleaded guilty and sophomore Karen Gerken. Wednesday in federal court to Gu then won the 50-yard free- misleading Congress about ste- style and teammates Craig and roid use. Tejada withheld infor- senior Jennifer Hill took second mation in August 2005 when v: '*PH- 4 and third, respectively. Sopho- questioned by a House commit- »s&mz •PPPK.,. T"--# • V - * « : vl* *»•.* < • V % more Erin Mattson and freshman tee about ex-Astro Roger Clem- Nicole Delaloye dominated the ens' use of steroids and human e , « ' 200-yard freestyle, white Land growth hormone. LAUREN SCHOEFFLER/THRCSHER and Hill took first and second in Tejada, the Houston Astros' •€' Or "m the 200-yard backstroke. Rice shortstop, admitted to purchas- also had stellar performances ing human growth hormone but Splish, splash Sophomore Kait Chura swims the 100-yard backstroke against SMU Jan. 16. in the 100-yard butterfly and said he discarded the drugs After defeating Incarnate Word this weekend, the swim team is 7-7 overall. 100-yard backstroke; Land took before using them. Prosecutors first in both events, finishing stated they have no evidence just ahead of Lin in the butter- proving otherwise. fly and Craig in the backstroke. The misdemeanor can be The success continued as Lin punishable with up to a year in O TENNIS won the 100-yard backstroke, jail, but Tejada's attorney Mark FROM PAGE 19 junior Angela Wo won the 200- Tuohey believes Tejada will only yard individual medley, fresh- receive probation. The Owls return to action in Lub- against Louisiana-Lafayette to accli- matches," Schmidt said. "Arizona is man Alex O'Brien won the 200- Investigation of Tejada bock this weekend where they will mate the team to windy conditions, not ranked right now but they have yard breaststroke and Ackerman started after an ex-Baltimore take on the University of Arizona and had the players not performed so some good ranked players that will and freshman Shelby Bottoms Oriole teammate of his, Rafael Wildcats and host Texas Tech Red well under such conditions, the team make them ranked after this year. snagged the top spots in the Palmeiro, attributed his positive University. Lubbock is notorious for may have entered the matches cau- Texas Tech we have seen individually. 500-yard freestyle. steroid test to a faulty B-12 shot windy conditions that are known tious and wary. They both will be good battles, but I The Owls finished the meet by administered by the Astro. to cause problems for most players. "Both of these matches are go- think our team is excited and we are winning the 200-yard freestyle — Natalie Clericuzio Had Schmidt not scheduled a match ing to be good, hard-fought tennis more than prepared." * I f OWTRACK • 1 €• FROM PAGE 18

Britany Williams, Rice's top finisher ter hurdles, finishing fourth with a in the mile, took home a season best time of 8.86 seconds. Junior Shannon as well at 4:55.16. Moran placed fourth in the long jump, Closer to home, Rice entered a turning in a leap of 5.39 meters. Lastly, Call and you could save group of runners in the University of freshman Brittany Brown and sopho- Houston All-Comers Meet, held on the more Tina Robinson finished fifth and UH campus. Freshman Lucie Cincin- sixth in the weight throw, respectively, natis improved her time in the 60-me- each throwing 15.06 meters. Class dismissed. • « Field goals - Rice 28-60 (Perka 10-15, Ghoram 6-10); ECU 25-64 (Wynn 9-10, Young 4-10)

Three-point goals - Rice 6-13 (Frizzelle 3-4, Foster 2-5); ECU 11-31 (Hinnant 4-10)

Rebounds - Rice 44 (Perka u);ECU 37 (Morrow 7)

Assists - Rice 18 (Foster 5, Frizzelle 5); ECU 12 BY THE (Young 4) NUMBERS TULANE 61 RICE 59 Convenient local office FEB. 3-11 Tulane (9-10, 3-3 C-USA) 25 36 61 Rice (6-14,1-5 C-USA) 39 20 59 Money-saving discounts MEN'S BASKETBALL Field goals - Rice 23-46 (Perka 7-8, Frizzelle Low down payments 4-n);Tulane 23-55 (Richard 6-10, Louisme 5-10) Monthly payment plans Three-point goals - Rice 5-9 (Foster 2-2 );Tulane HOUSTON 72 RICE 65 2-10 (Sims 2-4) 24-hour service and claims Houston (14-7, 5-3 C-USA) 31 41 72 Rice (7-15,2-6 C-USA) 28 37 65 Rebounds - Rice 33 (Frizzelle 5);Tulane 32 Coverage available by phone (Louisme 4) Field goals - Rice 25 63 (Foster 6-13, Perka 5-10); Houston 24-57 (Coleman 8-18, Calhoun 4-7) Assists - Rice 15 (Foster 6);Tulane 7 (Richard 3)

Three-point goals - Rice 8-23 (Foster 4-10); These boxscores brought to you by: Houston 7-21 (Calhoun 3-5) A-Rod's steriod dealers Baseball fans' crushed dreams Local Office Rebounds - Rice 33 (Stanton 11); Houston 42 |oba Chamberlain's gut (Coleman 12) Pac Man's nonexistent dollar bills Wayne Graham Assists - Rice 16 (Foster 4, Ghoram 4); Houston Your mother 9 (Coeman 3, Wade 3) My father Hansbrough's 4 (cheating) wins at Cameron lonathan Myers is a BA mofo for agreeing to RICE 88 USM 72 work on the Sports Section.

USM (13-10. 3-6 C-USA) 24 48 72 In related news, I say Carolina should be no.i Rice (8-15,3-6 C-USA) 41 47 88 CALL FOR A FREE RATE QUOTE. once again. On the list for cheaters, anyway. Field goals - Rice 29-50 (Frizzelle 7-13, Foster No moar cut-outs evahhhhh. (Sorry Lo-Flo, we'll 6-10); USM 26-62 (Wise 7-11, Horton 9-16) Geico Direct do our best). Three-point goals - Rice 16-24 (Frizzelle 6-9, Nat and Matt: thanks for putting up with watch- Foster 5-7); USM 3-10 (Craft 1-5) 5405 Bellaire Blvd. ing cheating Carolina instead of Top Chef!

Rebounds - Rice 25 (Ghoram 7); USM 35 (Craft Traceface, Dylan and Casey - good luck on the Houston, TX 77401 10) tests y'all took yesterday! 713-665-4667 Assists - Rice 25 (Foster 8,); USM 6 (Wise 2) Nicole - glad you learned so much about bas- Some discounts, coverages, payment plans, andfeatures .« • not available in all state of in a« GEICO companies Government Employees ketball. We'll work on indcoctrinating you into Instance Co GEICO General Insurance Co. GEICO indemnity Co GEICO Casualty Co These companies are subsidiaries of Berkshire Hathaway Inc. RICE 76 ECU 70 cheating Tar Heel lifestyle next. <5f ICO auto insurance is not iwiteMe in MA GEICO Washington, IK 20076 © 2007 GEICO The GEICO gecko image © GEICO 1999-2007 ECU (10-10, >-$ C-USA) 44 32 76 Lauren - thank you thank you thank you for do- MM (714,2-4 C-USA) 37 33 70 ing the syringe oh so tedious. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2009 THE RICE THRESHER CALENDAR 23 _

Let's talk about sex. And then let's guess things about sex.

Open Magazine, now requesting the Calendar our blanket tax money, hosts Sex Trivia Night in Willy's Pub « FEB. 13-20, 2009 tonight. Teams are all-girls or all-guys, and you'll battle it out Sun's gonna rise in a mile. for prizes from sex shops and watch the hilarious Midwest Ever hear of Citizen Cope? He's Teen Sex Show. I have no clue Thresher EIC a pretty cool singer-songwriter, what that means, it sounds ille- and he's performing tonight at Boo! gal and exciting and dangerous. the House of Blues with Alice Show up and have fun or maybe Friday the 13th is like a mini-Hal- Smith. Go on YouTube and listen get arrested! Hey. Hey. You guys should totally vote loween that happens between to Cope, a.k.a. Clarence Green- one and three times a year! wood, perform "Sun's Gonna for us to be the Editor-in-Chief of the Fear of Friday the 13th is called Rise" or "Bullet and a Target." "paraskavedkatriaphobia," and Doors open at 8 p.m. and tickets This is the worst concert you Thresher next year. What? What's is in my well-grounded opinion cost $25. could possibly attend this week, a generally ridiculous condition. month or year. that? Casey Michel's going to be EIC? Which leads us to: Ever hear of Cradle of Filth? I'm Have you ever read a column by that sorry. I was a huge black metal MONDAY l6 fan in my adolescence, and I lis- guy? He can barely form a coherent When you believe in things tened to these guys all the time. you don't understand and you They're still, objectively speak- opinion about sports, let alone run a suffer, superstition ain't the Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! ing, horse piss. But that's part of way. Get on up! It's Vision time! the fun! They're not trying to be newspaper. Now the Backpage — the good, they're trying to be ridicu- The Minority Admissions Com- Don't look for Stevie Wonder to lous. Go see them sing about mittee, fresh on the exhilaration Backpage, we know what's going on. make an appearance at tonight's demons and shit at the House of of the start of Vision Weekend, Archi-Arts party at The Meridian. Blues. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tick- Don't you want your interests repre- hosts Rhymes & Rhythms to- The fliers look cool, and the An- ets are $23 - $50 night at 9 p.m. in Willy's Pub in derson window painting in the sented in the Thresher leadership? the Rice Memorial Center. Show quad is pretty dope. The day is up and compete in an open mic appropriate, the theme is pretty We're the only page of the paper that and a dance contest! Win prizes, decent, and now all 1 need is a maybe! The power is yours! costume. Tickets are $10 pre-sale THURSDAY 19 you actually read anyway (besides from sophomore archis and $12 at the door, and buses will haul the Calendar, of course), so you might you between the Meridian and What's the second cinema? as well have us running the show. the Sallyport for free. TUESDAY I don't know about you, but I'm getting really sick of the Rice We maintain close ties to university Cinema only showing films that DIKEMBE ALERT blanket the earth in Anglo he- leadership (see below), and we care SATURDAY 14 gemony. The trend continues It's Tuesday, so it's Rockets night. tonight with "Latin American so much about this newspaper that Today, our gallant knights in Third Cinema," a political and red take on the New Jersey Nets. Happy Valentine's Day! artistic movement that attempt- we're writing this obnoxiously long Blood may be shed, dreams may ed to show Latin American life A real Valentine from the mid- be trampled, but my man Mu- as it truly was and separate it statement about why we should be 19th century reads: tombo will rise above it all. Then from Europe and Hollywood. he'll point at the audience, raise Pssh. The Cinema is screening Editor-in-Chief. his hand to the sky and wiggle R stands for rod, Chircales (Brickmakers) by Mar- his finger in his trademark move. Which can give a smart crack. ta Rodriguez and Jorge Silvia as Bad seats start at $10, and you can And ought to be used well as Now, by Santiago Alva- order by calling 713.627.DUNK. For a day on your back. rez of Cuba. Both films are from the 1960s. Now that's inspired. We stole this idea for this week's Backpage. If Happy Birthday / Sorry You Screening starts at 7 p.m. and you're having trouble telling that Died Today! admission is free. special someone exactly how you feel, get your scissors and Happy Birthday to: Wally Pipp turn the page. (1893), Chaim Potok (1929), Mi- chael Jordan (1963) and Paris Hil- ton (1981). FRIDAY 20 Lovett's Central Committee Condolences to: Emperor Jovian voted to name one of the girls (364), Geronimo (1909), Bruno in the facade "Tits McGee." Happy 2/20! Walter (1962) and and Mike Awe- Celebrate the day of our favorite I.ovett College hosts their annual some (2007). campo by parking your car in un- Casino Party tonight at 10 p.m. approved places around campus. in the Lovett Commons. This I hear he really likes that sort of year's theme is "Valentine's Day thing. at the Playboy Mansion." It's an interesting theme, but it doesn't WEDNESDAY l8 lend itself well to costuming. Is Phat Hangin' wit' da Registrar it lingerie? I don't know. I'm go- Attention, faculty: Today is the ing as Batman, because alter ego F-UTEP last day to input midsemester Bruce Wayne is always described grades for first-year students. I'm as a millionaire playboy. The Rice men's basketball team is going to enter into an inappropri- teaching a BROW course, so this ate relationship with the Univer- means that I get to assign grades! sity of Texas at El Paso tonight at What a power rush. Today is also 7 p.m. in Tudor Fieldhouse. The the last day to submit student- SUNDAY 15 last time I tried to jam with a Min- taught course descriptions to the er, I spent the next day sore and Office of the Dean of Undergradu- fearing for my life. ates. Best thing I've ever done. It's about time that you start- ed to apply yourself.

The Baker Institute for Public HOW TO SUBMIT CALENDAR ITEMS Policy Student Forum is accept- ing applications for the 2009-'i0 The deadline for submission is 3 p.m. the Monday prior to publication. school year! They're due today, Submissions are printed on a space available basis. so log on to bisf.rice.edu and as- sure your ascent to the stars. Submission methods The Backpage. Fax: Nobody uses the fax. Call me instead! 920.257.7515 Email: [email protected] You can't spell "Vision' with- Campus Mail: Calendar Editor out I! Thresher, MS-524 . Because without

There are 11,000 applicants com- Note from the editor: peting for 850 spots in the class I very much want to leave the office and go to too days because I've of 2013, and this weekend we're spent between 12 and 14 hours staring at this siupid Apple screen. I us, the front page going to try to woo the "under- would like to reiterate something for you, in case you maybe had forgot- represented minorities" among ten it somehow: them. Find a prospie this week- end, make him or her love you Submit your events to the Calendar and I will print them. would fall off. and then they'll be set for the rest of their life. This house ad is satire and is written, poorly. r 24 BACKPAGE THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY FEBRUARY 13,2009 nee in Custom valentines from the Backpage! Do you have a special Valentine in mind but can't find the review words to tell him/her/it how you really feel? Do you have something to say but can't figure out exactly how to say .. m Jit week of it? We can help! just pick out the card most appropriate Might even your old, wearied soul to your recipient/situation, cut along the dotted line, fill Swoon blissfully in our first kiss? feb. 8 in the blank and deposit in your lover/creepy obsession's Do you need to look that up? mailbox/other orifice! I will wait around a while. student association My bones, held fast by your blue eyes; My heart, captive to your sly smile. r— || SA President I could sing you songs of love 3 Matt Youn, And swear to you my beating heart; Won't you whisper Lovett's master? f 1 in a steroid- Speak slowly, calmly, in my ear, ilJlli J inf'ucec' °f I could sprint from stack to stack I dream of tongues wetly entwined ra?e* reflects and tell all Fondren of your part And of bare torsos sweat-adhered. | if ® grimly upon the ,..0F }M twilight of his In my dreams, both dry and wet May I hold you in my arms? And all those great wanks in between, I need you now: it can't be later! Fueled by raw want of you (Though I admit if I'm turned down masters search And my helpful Facebook screen. I'll go next door and ask Matt Taylor) I could tell you these, but no! maybe by press time tovett and hanszen will know who their new They demand courage I lack, masters are. maybe, probably not. So I'll sit here, behind you, "LetsMe 'Viofate Tour Student Code of Conduct, 'Vafentine! And ogle your bare lower back. ioo days To: Dean Forman From: tim is there right now. weil, T lease 'Don't Make Tour 'Pdotos not right this momerit, like, as you're reading this, but, you "Triends Onfy," 'Valentine! know, like, right this moment as i'm writing it. actually, forget i To: said anything, [insert joke about O lovely lovely freshman girl, how ioo days fell on 88 days] From: So pretty and so sweet, :"i; . C•f'<>*.. C8||l| How long I've dreamed of your embrace; rpc crush party Of tasting fresher meat.

if you were on one of our As your adviser this O-Week lists, you're being stalked on Frequent Sinner Card my love was our taboo, facebook right now! (this time, But now! Spring means I may justly «-' VU. -J I Redeemable for the loss of 10 purity points." Take advantage of you.

Be sMy ^Lofita, Vafentine! I ©©©©©©©©©© *1. May cause extreme nausea, vomiting and hours of troubled self-reflection. 2. Eligibility: I Participants must be hot. 3. The Sponsor is not responsible for error, omission, interruption, . deletion, defect, theft or unauthorized access. 4. Do nut fold, spindle or mutilate. From: "If you can suck on it for the first five minutes, then give « you. You and me, we've got great chemistry; "Comedy is sexy." Like diatomic oxygen, we're meant to be. I find this to be true. "I swear, if I wore drag But perhaps we might add a third atom to our pair And nothing is funnier right now I could get mor Because everyone knows that three oxygen atoms equal than the Backpage. action here than in ozone, creating a protective layer around the Earth I wish to perform Montrose." that prevents us from being exposed to deadly some sex acts on you. ultraviolet radiation. Don't worry! I promise Will Rice College senic And that can't be bad. I'm of legal age. ms l^et's CHave a Threesome, Vafentine! This Vafentine Serves as a To: Eric Doctor/Timothy Faust LET IN THE MAID THAT OUT A MAID ^Legaf Contract of Consent, (circle one or both) [email protected] 'Backpage editor of My From: NEVER DEPARTED MORE To -O-O-: s. Tjr 'Dreams! From: you may text your misclass to: :Q % % t%* • 020.257.7515 J The Backpage is satire and is written, poorly, by Timothy Faust and Eric Doctor. Special thanks to Mark Lewis and Sarah Pitre, BPEs 2000-'01. CLASSIFIEDS @ rice.edu EINSTEIN BROS. BAGELS Hiring THURSDAY AFTERNOON/ EVE- MONTROSE/RICHMOND. SEVERAL 2-1 m HELP WANTED part-time/full-time shift Leaders!! NING babysitter for 6 month old apartments at 1301 Richmond, avail- ®OTHER Apply at our Bissonnet/Kirby store. girl in the Heights. March 12th - able now. Hardwood floors, track EVENINGS/WEEKENDS JOB AVAILABLE 5300 Kirby Drive Houston, TX 77005 April 2nd. Dad is Rice MBA grad, lighting, central air/heat. 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