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House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY LUCKY DOG House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY LUCKY DOG HOW BEING A VETERINARIAN SAVED MY LIFE DR. SARAH BOSTON House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY Copyright © 2014 Sarah Boston All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmit- ted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photo- copying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. This edition published in 2014 by House of Anansi Press Inc. 110 Spadina Avenue, Suite 801 Toronto, ON, M5V 2K4 Tel. 416-363-4343 Fax 416-363-1017 www.houseofanansi.com Distributed in Canada by Distributed in the United States by HarperCollins Canada Ltd. Publishers Group West 1995 Markham Road 1700 Fourth Street Scarborough, ON, M1B 5M8 Berkeley, CA 94710 Toll free tel. 1-800-387-0117 Toll free tel. 1-800-788-3123 House of Anansi Press is committed to protecting our natural environment. As part of our efforts, the interior of this book is printed on paper that contains 100% post-consumer recycled fibres, is acid-free, and is processed chlorine-free. 18 17 16 15 14 1 2 3 4 5 Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Boston, Sarah, author Lucky dog / Dr. Sarah Boston. Issued in print and electronic formats. ISBN: 978-1-77089-351-1 (pbk.). ISBN: 978-1-77089-352-8 (html). 1. Boston, Sarah, 1973–, Health. 2. Women veterinarians — Biography. 3. Cancer — Patients — Biography. 4. Medical care. I. Title. SF613.B67A32014 636.089092 C2013907014-1 C2013-907015-X Library of Congress Control Number: 2013918885 Cover design: Alysia Shewchuk Text design and typesetting: Alysia Shewchuk We acknowledge for their financial support of our publishing program the Canada Council for the Arts, the Ontario Arts Council, and the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund. Printed and bound in Canada House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY For Stevie House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY CONTENTS Diagnosis • 1 Treatment • 127 Recovery • 247 House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY DIAGNOSIS House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY I WISH I WERE a dog. The lack of opposable thumbs part would be hard, and I do like talking a lot. I am also pathologically attached to my iPhone, but maybe there is an app that would allow me to continue to stay connected as a dog. The iPaw? Canine fashion has come a long way in the past few years, but I would miss shopping and dressing myself. I wouldn’t miss the self-actualization and consciousness, but I would probably miss everyone recognizing my self-actualized consciousness. That would be hard. Even with having to give up the use of my hands, texting, the ability to speak, shopping, and the recognition of my full potential, I still wish that I were a dog today. On Sunday night, six days ago, I was performing my nightly bedtime ritual, which involves washing my face with fantastically overpriced French cleanser and toner and then moisturizing with an equally overpriced French face cream. I believe this is worth it if the products can 3 House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY 4 SARAH BOSTON fulfill their promises of preventing the inescapable turkey neck that plagues women as they march into their late for- ties, the neck that seems to tarnish movie stars and human beings alike. No woman is immune and no amount of Botox or plastic surgery can erase the creping of the neck. It is the truth. Despite this, I am convinced that my routine is worth every penny and is working wonders. At thirty- seven and a half, I have the neck of a twenty-five-year- old. I alternate between extreme vanity and the suspicion that I may look like a cross between Ellen DeGeneres and Janice the Muppet. But back to vanity, I’m spreading on the cream, banishing forehead wrinkles, eye wrinkles, and smile lines. I move on to my the neck. Wait a second, what is that? I can feel a mass. I do not say “bump” or “lump” or “swollen gland” because these fingers are trained fingers and I know instantly that it is a mass in my right thyroid gland. I know that it is new, and that it is not good. I’m away from home and staying with a dear friend in Calgary. I run into her bedroom and climb into bed with her. I ask her to feel my neck. She agrees that she can feel something and asks if it could be a swollen gland. She is not a doctor, but she plays one on TV (she is a health reporter). It is 11 p.m., and charged with this finding, but certain there is nothing that I can do about it right now, I retreat to my room. I try to reach my husband but I can’t — his cellphone is dead. So I just lie awake all night thinking about what to do next. The next morning, I get up early and try to see a doctor at a walk-in clinic, which is a mistake on many levels. In the waiting area, there is a guy wearing a sars mask and a haggard woman with a bleeding gash on her head (and House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY LUCKY DOG 5 an inadequate piece of gauze taped to it), as well as a few other infectious-looking people. They all appear in more urgent need of attention than “neurotic veterinarian with self-diagnosed lump in her neck.” The nurses are chatting away while people stand in line to be processed like cattle. I check in, but before I sit down, I ask how long the wait will be. The medical receptionist tells me that they are not permitted to give out wait times. “Sure, I’m not going to hold you to it, but can you give me any idea? I have to call my office and I need to know what to tell them.” “We are not permitted to give out wait times.” “Okay, but can you tell me an average, like, will this be fifteen minutes or three hours?” “I’m sorry, but we are not permitted to say.” Wow, thanks, superhelpful. I call work. I am doing a locum — a temporary position to fill in for another sur- geon — at a private hospital in Calgary. It turns out that there is a patient waiting for me right now. We can’t have that now, can we? I bail on the walk-in clinic. I am fur- ther delayed because I have to sign something that says I elected to leave against medical advice. What medical advice? Okay, whatever. This was a mistake. I sign it. I am going to be home in a week. I call my family doctor’s office and get an appointment for Monday morning. I arrive at work — a referral centre for animals. I am a veterinary surgeon with a subspecialty in surgical oncology (cancer surgery). I get through a couple of appointments, admitting one dog with an abdominal tumour that may need to be removed, along with the adjacent kidney. One of my colleagues is a veterinarian who is triple-boarded House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY 6 SARAH BOSTON in three specialties: internal medicine, medical oncology, and radiation oncology — basically, this means he is a rock star to us vets, and a dog doctor to everyone else. I head to his office and ask him if he can feel my neck. I can see the instant recognition of a problem on his face and he says, “It’s amazing what our fingers tell us sometimes.” We sit and talk about what the mass could be: a cyst, hyperplasia (an increased production of normal cells), or a carcinoma (which is thyroid cancer), but mostly we talk about thyroid cancer because that is what we both think is going on. He tells me that the prognosis for most cases of thyroid carcin- oma is good, especially in my age group. He tells me that I am pretty much the thyroid carcinoma poster girl and that I should go home. So I fold on my locum early. I have never done anything like this in my life. Usually I drag myself into work, no matter what state my health is in, partly because I may be a workaholic and partly because I think the whole place would cease to function without me (see above, work- aholic). I change my flight to leave on Wednesday and schedule an urgent appointment with my family doctor for Thursday. In this time, I am pretty sure the mass is growing. Despite being a medical professional for nearly fifteen years, I have very few contacts in the human world. I reach for one: my colleague’s brother, who is a head and neck surgeon in Toronto. After contacting him through his brother, I get a message back that he wants me to see an endrocrinologist for a workup before he sees me and he recommends one in Oakville. Great. I go to see my family doctor on Thursday as planned. Although I have given up House of Anansi -- FOR REVIEW PURPOSES ONLY LUCKY DOG 7 $2,500 in locum pay, my reputation, and a beautiful day of skiing in the Rockies with my friend Rob to make it back to see my doctor, he is not exactly on fire.