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Est. 1965 University of Surrey Students' Newspaper 5th June 1992 Quality to Drop? The results of funding allocations per student, will infact decrease but this arguing that the weight attached to re- for the academic year 1992-93 in col- is mainly due to increased numbers of warding quality provision should be in- lèges and polytechnics have been an- fees-only students which attract no creased. nounced and follow the trend of funds from the PCFC. Average funding Latest figures show that 56 per cent continuìng expansion with growth in levels for full-time courses vary from of higher éducation students are based funded places of around 16%. Public £4346 in engineering and technology io in polytechnics and colleges which» in funding will also rise by 15.4% and £2636 in business and management. 1990, amounted to 595,200 students, an Polytechnic and Colleges Funding The wide variation being dependant on increase of 54 per cent over ten years, Council (PCFC) funding will be in- differing costs of teaching subjects. The considerably iess than plans for in- creased by 13%. The extra funding number of full-time funded student creases in student numbers over the means that seventy-one thousand addi- places will increase by 18% and sand- next ten years at Surrey and other in- tional students places will be funded wich and part-time places both increas- stiuitions. next year in polytechnics and colleges ingby 13%. Even so il seems that one way or an- across the countó'- At present the PCFC are reviewing olher available places will be fllled and The measure of resouce, funding funding methods and the NUS wil! be numbers in higher éducation will con- tinue lo increase. Can we let money be the overiding faclor in deciding the for- mat of our éducation and will il be spent Contiìiued on page 3 In this weeks Bare Facts; Quality To Drop page 1 Sex al the GM page 3 GM Inqouracy page 3 Pire page 4 Rccycling page 4 Exam Exclusive page 5 End Of Club? page 6 International Disco page 5 Movies page 8 Vidcos page 9 OFU page 9 GCRbil page 10 Out On Vinyl page 10 S.A.Dpullout page 11 Checkhov page 17 S ugarblasi and friends page 18 Bookz page 20 Poetry Box page 20 Spony bits page 25

Bare Facts Tel: (0483) 509275 Nightline Tel: (0483) 32710 2 5 th June 1992

|~^ear bare facts, That's it! I choked back tears this week as I read of the further érosion of the male/femalenoman'sland. I speak not A little bit shorter of sex-change opérations or gay mar- raige but the world's first pregnant Right well here we are again, as male. usual and this time Tm not going tobore What is happening to masculinity in you with loads of waffie I'U just come the 1990's. Firstly two trailblazers for siraight out and say hello! men everywhere, messers B.HÌ11 and The opinions expressed in F.Howerd, resign their positions and Has anyone noticed that the length the letters on these pages do take Up seats at the great revue bar in the of the Editorial is directly ihversely pro- sky, and now we have men failing preg- portional to the amount of letters that not necessarily reflect those nant. Even Warren Beatty has been we at bare facts redeive each week. of the Editoria! Board. trapped in the net curtains. Last week we only had onew letter, and so you all had lo suffer a really long Edi- J^ear BF, Surely this break down in sex bar- riers can only result in the création of an torial and this week it's much shorter. apathetic amorphous race where the So the answer is send us loads of letters, OFU Reply! only entertainment is watching ballet please. Hopefully they'll be loads of We at OFU would like lo reply lo sipping Aqua-Libra and eating carrot letters and comments next week on the the only complaint we have had about cake and quiche. S.A.D Supplement, hint him. While OUT lateniter - ie. Tigs's letter in last We need a resurgence of socially ir- r m on the subject of the S AD campaign ( weeks BF. Firstly the students, who responsible celebrities challenging the I'd justlike to say 'sorry Justine, I'm not keep OFU ninning, didn't suffer. Those foundations of morality in our society. normally so unreliable, honest!) who weren't so idle as Tigs tumed up Three cheers for Tom Jones, Oliver to find out what was going on and were Reed, and Paddy Ashdown. Anyway I'm probably ninning out told "If the power comes on before We say leave the washing up lads, of room and I haven't really got very 1 Ipm, then the fìlms will start at 1 Ipm. tum off Thirtysomething and get down much to say except keep sending us in If it comes on between llpm and 12 to the pub for a ring-chucking board loads of articles and ideas, and cheers midnight, the fìlms will start at 12 mid- meeting of RMS. Don't be afraid to to everyone who made an extra special nighL Failing this, the films will be crank up some Chubby Brown and re- effon to put Union Numbers on con- shown on Saturday at 1 Ipm." In the end member - The only protection you need tributions after last weeks plea, keep it we did show them at midnight (only one is not to tell her your name! Up. See You Round... hour late). Finally do the honourable thing, pay homage to the master and get that Emie Cheers, Last wedcs letter also says "The vast the Milkman CD. majority of us (students) had better The tide can be tumed, titter ye not! Steve R. Coiiingham things on our mind, like trying to get out Editor of Our rooms without a major accident" RMS 1 ask you, just how dangerous is it in Tigs's bedroom ? Did it really take him rjear BF International 2 hours (the duration of the power cut) ^ On Sunday 31st I went into the li- to fìnd his bedroom door ? He evident- brary to do some revision. There on ly didn't even try Coming down to G Level 24 in one of the cubicles some- Disco after the power cut was over. one had written on the desks: "WOGS As for the apology which was 7 OUT. THEY SMELL LIKE SHIT. NF" days late, well the films WERE shown, Now l'm an openminded person and of course the explanation was the and if people wish to hold these views Saturday 6th Jime following Friday because the BF for (or any other!) then that's fine by me. that week had already been distributed But, if such is their belief that they have by the time the power cut hit us. With the desire to "advertise" il in a public es- regards to the "keeping the audience tablishment, thus making il known lo Fosters happy" comment, some may recali that ali, then should they noi have the "The Naked Gun 2 1/2" didn't tum up decency and the courage to address at ali at the start of this term. As a result their views to those concemed (i.e. of this the guest tickets were refunded, "WOGS")? l'm sure we'd love to hear Lager and the fìlms have been rebooked for from him^er/they. the 28th and 29th of June. Also on these It seems lo me very tragic that in an dates is "The Rocketeer". institution where people come to leam only £100 and expand their knowledge, that there We always welcome constructive are those who refuse to leam. comments, and these should be put in "Nolhing in ali the world is more per Pint* the OFU pigeon hole. dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious siupidiiy" - Martin Luther King M *While promotional OFU See. Bljan Milani stocks last

Don't be S.A.D. èwi' fmU 3

Continued from oaee I in our interests? Alistair hill, Union President, when Back to Life presented with this information said "1 welcome the increase in access to the ••• higher education sector but if these stu- Back to Inquoracy dents are to be recruited from the classi- Well this weeks GM was real fun, that being harassed is a bad thing, either cal 18-21 age bracket, then average as both of us that turned up would tell by other students or by staff then come entrance requirements will inevitably you. Sorry that is a bit of an exaggera- to the GM. Well enough of trying to get fall. It is therefore essential that higher tion but it might as well have been true. everyone to go to the GM I am supposed education establishments increase For the second week running the union to tell you what happened at the GM on funding for lecturers and new teaching president had to chair the whole meet- Tuesday. techniques so that the high standards re- ing, hopefully that may change next There was, as usual, apologies for quired for graduation are maintained." week at the ail exciting GM. As there absence (which some consider as the Andy R seems U) be a problem with quoracy (a highlight to the whole affair. TTiese bit of an understatement - ed.), I believe were followed closely by the chair tell- that we should go back to basics; on a ing the meeting that the minutes had not Tuesday lunch time there is a thing being posted long enough to be read and Sex at the called the GM. It is designed so that we signed etc. So the meeting moved swift- the student body can teli the sabbaticals ly on to elections which surprisingly exactly what we would like doing in the were cancelled due to lack of quoracy. General future. Now it may seem unimportant to Notice a pattern emerging yet ? Then some but there are major issues dis- there was union affairs which saw Meeting? cussed, for instance last week the union Giles, the Ents Sec, playing a tape of the The General meeting to be held on extensions were talked about again and band for Sunday night (another good the date of June the ninth is set to be one it seemed as if we might not be getting reason to come to your GM) and Ali- of the most contentious of this year one any increase in space. Does this seem stair, the President, tell all present about of the motions being laid on the table is unimportant ? The powers that be were the union extensions. Finally the most a motion regarding SEX. It is believed not talking about extensions in the year important union affair saw Lee Gillam, at this time that this motion will have an 2002 but this summer, and that affects Rag Chair, asked about his view on effect of varying levels on every single a great deal of the people here at the mo- nightclubs in Guildford. Next on the member of the union and will also af- ment. Most weeks important points are agenda was the motion on harassment fect the current plans for the internal re- raised that we should be aware of; this which was indicatively and unanom- sructuring of the union building itself. week the Sexual Harassment motion ously agreed upon. Then to round off Sex is an important issue. If you have tried to outline a plan that would allow the next meeting was called for next any views about sex, then turn up to the anybody with problems in that area a Tuesday at 1 o'clock in the Union or meeting, and don't let a few people de- confidential but understanding means outside if the weather is good. So see cide what you should be doing in bed. of remedying the situation, but because you all next Tuesday for an hour or so Remember, Tuesday 1pm, Union of inquoracy the Union Vice President hopefully in the sun. lounge, only that way can you prevent can not approach Senate House the gov- this catastrophic motion being passed erning body of the university until next Chris Laurie week or the week after depending on Name witheld on Lee's request the dreaded quoracy. So if you believe Intro Week Intro Week starts on Tuesday 6th October this year. There will be the usual programme with minor changes and Jenny will need loads of helpers to keep her sane! There is a form below that you should fill in if you want to help and return it to me. Rooms on campus are limited + only available Monday - Friday, so if you don't need one please don't put it down. You get free T- Shirts and get to meet all the first years! Don't forget all Clubs and Societies to fill in the form for a stall at Freshers Fayre I (name) would like to help during Intro Vfeek. I would/would not like a canpus rocm for this week. If you knew your canpus room for next year please state

HM AEX)RESS:

Please return to Justine Guest, Vice President, c/o pigeonhole or Union Offices.

Be Aware !?! 4 5 th June 1992 Read This!!! The Problem - Consumerism: truth in it. Don't kid yourself that it is Western society expects growth and your right to destroy our planet by con- progress in its economies and thus an suming and not returning, but equally increase in the production of consum- don't &11 into the tr^ of thinking that able goods. In a society where demand recycling is a solution in itself. So for goods is always increasing, even DON'T buy what you don't need (and 100% recycling of one year's products that includes beer!) and take advantage will not meet the next year's demand. of the recycling facilities on campus. The shortfall comes from the finite re- Who knows, you may even stay out of sources of unexploited raw materials. debt next year!

The Different Approach The Definition - "recycling": That quality of life is not a function of material wealth. Anticonsumerism Converting an old unnecessary item dares to suggest that the QUALITY of into a new unnecessary item. (Ashes to your life won't improve just because ashes, dust to dust, coke cans to micro- you have new jeans or a weed free lawn. waves, and beer bottles to a beautiful It challenges you, the consumer, as you cut glass decanter I bought in Marbel- join the queue at the check-out with big la...) plans to reject the carrier bag, to ask The Ideal?! - yourself whether you can really justify 100% recycling of materials requir- buying the goods in your hand. ing minimal raw material input and using energy from soundly renewable The Point - A naive view but there's a lot of sources. Fire Recently there have been a number The seriousness of the incidents has dangerous and it is in your own inter- of incidents on campus where students meant that the Fire Officer, Mr N D ests not to do it both frvm the point of have lit bonfìres and even put bottles Cosgrove, has deemed it neccessary to view of personal safety and danger of a into the fires. In doing so these students notify the Court Wardens, Security and serious fire. You have been warned! have been breaching University rules the Works Department to ensure that it Andy Rayner and are punishable tmder the discipline does not occur again. code. Lighting fires may be fun but it is EvilEnts Experiinent This Sunday the Ents committee are taking an experimen- tal quantum leap back to a time of bee-hives, hairspray and classic american retro. The Frigidaires are playing in the Union. This 4 piece, female harmony vocal group who mix classic songs with a comical theatricd style will dazzle even the most grungiest indie rocker or rave child. If you doubt their credibility then shame will showw down on you for they are one of the acts playing GLASTONBURY this year. Unlike Glastonbury though you don't have to pay £50 to see them! Spanner in the Ents At this weeks Ents meeting (held weekly on tuesdays, 6pm, Mandela Room - Oh Mr. Long where were you?) an idea was bom that could mean everyone and their mates could come to the end of term Draw Disco, that's just under 2000 people. If we can pull it off it will be a good indication to the University of just how small our Union building is in relation to our stu- dent population.

Giles Porter - Ents Officer.

Don't be S.A.D. èm fmu Exam Exclusive International (Médical) need only answer THREE of University of Siirrey the ten questions. Candidates doing Disco n BSc Honours in Chemislry Civil Engineering need answer none of with Dance the questions since they are in the Year 2 Examination wrong exam. You are advised to com- An International Disco will be held plété Section A before question B, des- in the Main Union cm Saturday 6th June COURSE Z8: Molecules and pite the fact that this will get you lower which will be held include a co^mony Good Vibrations marks. Candidates should doodle on the of the International Week awards. desk provided, but should not throw COURSE Z9: Organic paper balls at the invigilator to attract The event is completely Cree of Choreography his/her attention. Questions answered charge (courtesy of the International of- 09.30- 12.30 hrs should be arranged in reverse order, fice) and it is hoped to give an entertain- Tuesday 7 June 1992 with the prime numbers on top. Ques- tions marked * or $ must be kept in sep- ing break from the stressful revision that may be getting to you by now. Answer TWO questions from Sec- arate bundles. Questions marked # tion A and al least THREE from Sec- should be tied together with the string The event is due to start at 7.30pm tion B, or any question beyond seven. provided and bumt If the number of ish and will fmish at 12.00am (an ents No two consecutive questions or parts questions answered forms the middle extension has been given). Simon Fran- of questions whose numbers add up to two figures of the date of bùth of an cis will be DJing upstairs and Soulclub give twenty one should be answered. If English king or queen, the marks will and Folkclub in the lower bar. only THREE questions from Section C be automatically halved. Failure to in- were answered, then four from Section sert a ten pound note for the examiner D should be answ^ed in pencil only. will resuit in disqualification. Paper, Any Overseas societies that wish to AU candidates should attempi question graphs, Ringwarts slide-rule and tables play their own music, please leave the 7 ignoring the heading "this question is of logs and Dribble functions are pro- tapes with the House Officer before not to be attempted, whatever the front vided and must not be removed from ô.OOpm on Saturday 6th June or give page may say". Both Sections carry the examination room. them to George Igoumenakis who is the equal marks except B and C. Candi- principal organiser of this event. dates doing Chemistry with Dance DrSaifuI Islam

Be Aware !?! 6 5 th June 1992 El Presidente The eventual demìse of the Union Club! The Students* Union has endured in the remit of the Union. A new body be addressed. Transferring the com- acute Problems this year due to the should be established which will dictate mercial activities back within the Union accumulated debt wbicb has built up the commercial policy of the Union. may resuit in a slight décliné in the between the Union Club and the The body, possibly called the "Union Union Club's preferential VAT posi- University over the last five years. Trading Committee", will have ulti- ti(xi. At present the Union Club regains The revised financial forecast for the mate responsibility for the commercial VAT on ail of its activities. Within the Union Club for the financial year activities of the Union. The committee Union the commercial activities may 1991/92 showed a substantial deficit must be composed of students but re- lose the VAT on the administration uniess remedlal action were taken quires a professional extemal input which at posent it regains. The man- immediately. The Union Club Coro- which it has lackcd in the past. It is agement of the Union Club are curren- mittee, the Controlling committee of being considered whether two Univer- tly taking légal advice regarding this the Union Club, set up a working sity representatives are invited in order area. The staff of the Union are at pres- party to investigate its commercial to add continuity to the student officers ent employed by the Union Club. The activities. The working party was and to input extemal professional ex- contracts of the staff would need to be composed of the Sabbatical OfTicers pertise into running commercial aspects adjusted so as to be employed by the of the Union, the two senior Manage- of the Union. It is possible that one Union. In a related vein the Union rlal Staff of the Union and the Presi- University representati ve is senior would need to develop staff protocol dent Electof the Students* Union. In member of the University Finance de- and grievance procédures. addition, Mr C Smith, a lecturer partment and the other from the Univer- from the MSTHI department of the sity department of Management Throughout this year the Union University, was invited to take a pro- Studies for Tourism and Hotel Indus- Président under the guidance of the fessional overview of the Union tries. The Committee would be Union Intemal Affairs Committee has Clubs' activities. charged with creating short and long been drafting out a new constitution. term policy as well as producing a long These proposed changes would require term development programme for the constitutional change and need to be The investigations of both the work- commercial activities. The present further discussed at Union Affairs and ing party and Mr Smith revealed a com- managementstructure within the Union at a General Meeting. The changes re- prehensive list of problems conceming would require immediate investigation. the commercial activities of the Club, quired to set up the new commercial or- many of which have already been ad- ganisation could be added to the new dress. The individuai concems are The two members who are on the draft constitution. The new constitu- too numerous to go into here but the present Club Committee but who would tion is probably to be passed by the majorproblem can be broken down into notbe on the new Union Trading Com- Union General Meeting eariy in the first three discrete areas. The Club Struc- mittee are ihe Union General Manager term of Uie next academic year. ture The Management Structure and the Union Finance Officer. They Capital Investment would be officers of the committee, ad- These are the current proposais vising it when necessary. In this way which will require further discussion In an historié meeting of the Club the General Manager would be given and investigation before implementa- Committee last Wednesday the Union greater authority to run the commercial tion. Ifyou wanttogetinvolvedinthe Club Committee decided to pursue the areas of the Union within guidelines long term future of your Union, or its following change in its structure. and policy dictated by the committee. commercial activities then come along ' The committee would hold the two sen- to Union Affairs of the UniCHi Club The present set up of the commer- ior managcrs accountable for their ac- Committee meetings. cial activities of the Union Club has tions. grave failings. A lot of the problems AllstaIrHIII originate from a commercial set-up The new structure would mean a Président which does not regulate its own acti- numberof other changes which need to vities. The first priority must be to set up a structure which is effective, re- sponsible and responsive. The main failings of the present Union Club This Thursday lith June in Committee is that it is not an effective policy making body, it lacks continuity of membership, its members suffer con- flicts of interest, it does not hold the senior management accountable, it lacks professional guidance. To recdfy these problems the following actions must te taken. Meals on a THEME The Union Club must be abolished in its present form. This week's theme is

The commercial activities of the Union should be transferred back with-

Don't be S.A.D. 0m /MU 7 Courier Flexibility In job hunting, particularly in the vacancy iists carefully • you may find present difficult situadon, it pays to hidden there just the job you aie look- Flight leave no stone untumed. In particular» ing for. good jobs may sometimes be found in We are stili very interested to re- the most unexpected places. For in- ceive from final years the questionnaire Guide stance, many highly technical organisa- on the Careers Service we sentout at the tions have opportunities for non- beginning of term. Just leave completed technical applicants, typically in ad- forms with us. If you have mislaid your Save Money ministration, fmance and personnel and copy and would like to let us kno w w hat sometimes in marketing. For you think of the Careers Service, you FlyingAs An example, in the first issue of Current can collect a blank form from us. Air Courier Vacancies the Post Office is looking for management services trainees, which involves considérable statistical Aptitude Tests The Air Courier Hand Book work, and Sun Chemical (Europe) are Some of you will face aptitude tests Features looking for an Internai Auditor • Fin- of various kinds as part of selection pro- • Step by step guide to Courier ance. cédures. Practice can improve your Travel This is especially true for science or score, so we are offering an opportunity • Directory of Worldwide Air engineering graduates who may find it to sit a typical test on Wednesday, 17 Courier Companies profitable to look outside the obvious June at 2 p.m. in TB 11. The test lasts employers - remember chemical firms for about 2 hours. If you would like to Now in its 6th printing sometimes employ eleccronic engineers take part, please book in the Careers and electronic fimis frequently employ Service by 16 June. £5.99 (p&p Inc.) chemists! Examples of this are Thames Peter Swift From: Water, who are looking for electronic engineers and Boots who need an elec- Careers Service John Walker Books tron ic/comm unie a tions engineer to 160 CromwellRd. work in Group Télécommunications. London, SW5 QTL The moral to this is never jump to conclusions but make sure you read CAREERS SERVICE SUMMER PF-PRÏTITMENT FAIRS

There are a number of Summer recruitment events you can attend as Surrey undergraduates/graduates. They are at Universities unless otherwise stated. These are:

Summer Recuitment Pairs Interview Programmes Bristol ^ 16 June Cambridge 22-25 June Reading 18 June Southampton 15-26 June North East (Newcastle upon Tyne) 22 June Leeds I-IO July Bradford 23 June Wales (Cardiff) 23 June North West (Manchester) 24/25 June Edinburgh 24 June Northern Ireland (Ulster) 25 June Nottingham 25 June Glasgow 29/30 June London (Business Design Centre, 30 June - 2 July Islington) Aston 7 July

These fairs will mainly have national employers seeking to fili a wide range of vacancies, with possibly a small number of local employers. Fuller détails are in "Summer Recruitment Events 1992 - The Officiai Guide". (Issue No. 2 is due on 10 June). Come and collect your copy from the Careers Service. CAREERS SERVICE^ Be Aware!?! 8 5 th June 1992 At The Movies

with Pete 'n' Phil ODEON, Epsom Road

Credit Card Bookings and Enquiries Guildford 578017. Advance box office (^n 14.00 -19.00 daily. Student discount available Mon- Thürs before 19.00 (with valid NUS card). Fri 5 June for Seven Days

Screen 1 : THE LAWNMOWER MAN (15) Although billed as 'Stephen King's The Lawnmower Mail', this bears little re- semblance to the king of horror's seven-page short story. Instead, this is the tale of a simpleton gardener (Jeff Fahey) who becomes the guinea pig for Pierce Brosnan's scientist experimenting with virtual reality and drugs. Despite a relatively low(!) $10 million budget, the special effects are quite remarkable. Sadly, the potentially excit- ing opportunity to probe the differences between 'reality' and 'virtual re^ity' is squandered in favour a ho-hum effects bonanza with explosions, chases, spectacular deaths and all the other familiar moments we've seen befwe. Take it or leave iL Daily at 1.40 5.50 8.40

Screen 2: WAYNE'S WORLD (PG) Already a cult hit, this relies for its laughs almost solely on the daft dialogue, heavy-metal dude-speak and guest stars. Wayne and Garth are two teenagers (ac- tually the actors are in their 30s but it's close enough) who broadcast a cable-access show from a basement, featuring their personal thoughts on teenage life, heavy met- al and babes. Then they are spotted by slimy producer Rob Lowe... Those who like this type of thing will love it Those who don't will just stare in amazement Still, ac- cording to Bill and Ted, and Wayne and Garth, to be a great role model and hero, you have to be a gormless, talentless, dead-loss nerd. The union sabbaticals have the ad- vantage over the rest of us then (just joshing dudes - hey what are you doing with that pick axe handle?). Daily at 1.20 3.55 6.20 8.50

Screen 3 : THE MEDICINE MAN (PG) Hollywood goes eco-friendly in time for the Earth Summit. A doctor discovers a cure for cancer in the Amazon rain forest, forgets what it is, and whilst he's trying to jog his memory he attempts to prevent some nasty old developers from building a second M25/Canary Wharf in the middle of the jungle. This sounds very laudable stuff, but as with all Tinsletown's attempts to address worthy causes, its all done ex- tremely half-heartedly. Still, the photography looks pretty and anything starring Sean Connery is always worth the price of a ticket Fri/Mon-Thurs at 1.50 5.40 8.15 Sat/Sun 5.40 8.15 Sat/Sun at 1.50 : DON'T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTER'S DEAD (12)

3creen 4 BASIC INSTINCT (18) Blood, bums, breasts, bullets and ice picks (but no willies) in Paul Verhoeven's controversial thriller. Michael (spot the face lift) Douglas plays a maverick cop in pursuit of a serial killer with a penchant for burying sharp instruments in peq)le's faces. During the course of his investigations, he takes the (^portunity to indulge in some horizontal refreshment with the chief suspect The story will look very Miliar to anyone who's seen "Jagged Edge", but Verhoeven's slick direction still manages to inject tension into a screenplay which, like Douglas's botty, looks exceptionally tired and flabby. Fri/Mon-Thurs 2.00 5.15 8.25 Sat/Sun 5.15 8.25 Sat/Sun at 1.45: HOOK (U)

Don't be S.A.D. èm fmu OFU - Coming this week... Black comedy about a manipulative lished. Backdraft. (15) widow who plays merry hell with the people who care for her, as she mourns OFU News Sun 7th at 6pin/ the death of her spouse. Directed by As far as I know I (kin't have any- Mon Etienne Chatiliez, who according to the thing to apologise about this week (give ORJ poster directed "Life is a Long or take the odd inexplicably juddering 8th at 9pm« Quiet River" - you can't argue with projector), so I'll keep it short This brevity has nothing to do with the fact William Baldwin plays a rookie facts like that. that I would rather not spend a sunny fireman who has a tough time living up Terminator I and day hunched over a keyboard - honest. to his brother's r^utation. He soon The only important news is that OíTJ is becomes involved with the investiga- n Lateniter« now voling on life memberships, and I tive side of fu« fighting, trying to dis- think I ought to mention that I have cover the firebug who has been starting Fri 5th Jime at written this column for a year, projected pyrotechnic explosions all over town. dozens of films, contributed to meet- Donald Sutherland has a marvellous 11pm« ings, been an official member of the cameo as the Hannibal Lecter of Pyro- In Terminator Amie Schwarzeneg- OFU drinking club, done various OFU mania, and the fiery effects are unpar- ger plays a nasty android, sent from the donkeywork and written reviews for alleled. future, who shoots a lot of people. In four years - but of course I wouldn't be Terminator II Amie Schwarzenegger so low as to use the power of the pr^ Tatie DanieUe. (15) plays a nice android, sent from the fu- to influence the voting. ture, who shoots a lot more people. If Wed 10th of June you're lucky, you can still get tickets in Kaspar Gutman. at 8pm« the union by the time this BF is pub- The \^deo Box Totally Bogus. **- Uncool. ***- Cool. •**»- Hot *»***- Most excellent To Rent The Fisher King (15) ***** 127 mins, Starring Jeff Bridges, Robin Wiiliams, Mercedes Ruehl. Dir. Terry Gilliam. Jack Lucas (Bridges) is a chain smoking radio DJ. who hurls abuse down the telephone to the wierdos who phone in, until (Mie day when tradgedy strikes, and his whole world crumbles. Three years later we fmd jack with a dead end job and a serious drink problem. Enter Parry (Williams) as a knight in dirty rags who one evening saves Lucas from becoming a human torch. Parry asks Lucas to help him retrieve the Holy Grail, and the two form a rather uneasy alliance. This video has a typical mix- ture of Gilliam fantasy and everyday melodrama - Watch the waltz around Cenu-al Station and the restaurant scene. Hot Shots (PG) *** 81 mins, Starring Cliarlie Slieen, Valeria Gouno, Lloyd Bridges. Dir. Jim Abrahams. This spoof of 'flyboy' movies such as Top Gun stars Sheen as 'Topper', a maverick pilot suffering from 'paternal conflict syndrome', caused by allegations of cowardice made against his father. Hot Shots, although very funny in its own right, will leave you with a real feeling of deja-vu. Not only are the plot and characters taken from the macho fighter-pilot movie Top Gim, but the jokes are taken from Airplane, Top Secret, Naked Gun, and the rest of Zucker, Zucker and Abrahams previous spoofs. Having said that, they're still good jokes, and if you're in a silly mood, you could do a heck of a lot worse than ren- ting this. Tales From The Darkside. (18) ** 90 mins, Starring Deborah Harry, Matthew Lawrence, Christian Slater. Dir. John Harrison. If you make a habit of watching TVS. at one in the morning then you may be aware of a tacky, sub-Twilight-Zone half- hour horror show called Tales From The Darkside. If not, you haven't missed much. This well packaged spin-off movie fea- tures Deb(*ah "Hairspray" Harry having fun as a suburbanite witch who's about to cook and eata liule boy. Todelay his roasting he tells her three "horror" stories : an Arthur Conan Doyle tale of a walking Mummy, a Stephen King story of a supernatural cat, and the best of a bad lot, a Michael Mcdowell piece about a vow made to a gargoyle. No thrills, no spills, no chills. To Buy. The Doors (18) ** 135 mins, Starring Val Kilmer, Frank Whalley, Kevin Dillon, Meg Ryan. Dir. Oliver Stone. Evocative production-heavy biopic of rock-star, poet and general high-life lowlife Jim Morrison. The film documents his music, his drug addictions, his alchoholism, and the effects they have on his life and relationships. The superb late sixties/early seventies period feel that you expect from Stone is in place. Unfortunately so are the totally unsympathetic characters, the ex- treme length and the wandering storyline. Kilmer is great though - that's his voice on the concert scenes. A video for nostalgia freaks, or Doors fans with high boredom thresholds. Also available in letterbox wide-screen fomiat - but this really adds noth- ing in this case. Karl and Steve.

Be Aware !?l 10 5 th June 1992 Forty Five r.p jn shows will be auilquite goosood with lots ö^inf - ctchangei s as well, so all are detailed in a terviews and competitions to win music special "cut arni a keep" programme videos and t-shiits. All I can say is... schedule, as seen next to this column. make sure you Hies are done up. That's just about it, so what more Luckily, like most things in life, can I say than to remember to tum your there is a good to counter the evil, and light out at night, buy Hi-Fi goo^ at this comes in the form of the excellent Richer Sounds, and go tune into GCR Lateshow being done, by yours 1602AM on the medium wave dial. truly,all week between llpm and lam. Until we meet again... Yet again, I suspect that the BF bod At the time of writing I haven't fi- who layed up this page has very kindly nalised the details but something spe- Geoff titled this column "44" or something cial will be happening, you'll just have (He doesn 't woik for Richer Sounds similar in an attempi to ccxitinue the hu- to listen to fmd out what! mour from the past few weeks. Apo- in his spare time honest guv. ) logies to all those who've never There are other slight programme understood the Hitch Hikers Guide to Week? Monday Tuesday the Galaxy and thus completely fail to Wednesday Thursday I^iday QSOO-IOOO r iiiiirii il II understand just what is going on, I Breaì^ast know that I don Hü What I do understand however, is 1700-1900 Into teto that time again has gone at an incredible Cmnpm Tornght rate and before you get a chance to mur- 1900-2100 MmAiftet MHM BtMa»]r mur "1602 AM" we're already at the Music Sé^mttoi end of week six and exam time (for the 2100-2300 n^rFItWw SoaVOns NvWM RMk majority of us) is becoming a big re- Sp^ialist /MWMTH KkhméHmi^ awUHuètm ality. So whilst evwyone dodders of to 23000100 very sensibly revise it becomes quite Lateshow OMiriiMan TiilTthJiJ OtffltoiMl OmITMmM OMffkteM fun managing to keep people doing their programmes. To explain what this means, the exact words fail me and And on air all weekend, at other times with Radio Luxembouig would probably be censored anyway, but what I can say is that like a nasty cold which won't go away, a cheque which keeps bouncing, a boomerang that even though it's broken, it still comes back.... Jan Fenn is back (not by popular demandi) all next week on Campus Tonight between 5 and 7pm. liirough negotiaüons with his law- 1602AM yers, I am actually informed that the OutOnVinji Play That Funky Music Welcome back , as you may have guessed I have George ing in a sea of love" which was some time ago.So I wasn't ex- Michael's new single toreview but I also have some other great pecting alot however I was surprised to hear the quality of this tunes to teil you about .If your wondering why the songs I re- single. A dramatic start gives way to clear weÙ sung lyrics view are usually good this is because I have about twenty complemented by background lyrics which occasiwially pro- possible songs to review out of which I choose three.So let's vide the beat-This is worth a listen even if you don't buy iL geton with it: Cyndl Lauper George Michael "The World Is Stone" "Toofunky" The first single for three ye^ from Cyndi comes from the George retums where he was with "I want your sex" and musical "Tycoon".Her considerable singing talents start the produces an even better song."Toofunky" siarts whith a piano record with an interesting sythesized beat following shortly slide which is foUowed by a powerful beat ,this is ideal dance afterwards.The record shows the quali^ of her voice and the music without throwaway lyrics.I particularly like the twist at music is of a similar standard ,however. the topic is not the the end of the song.This is one record defmately worth getting most inspiring and I would not go out of my way to get this. if your a George Michael fan or not .1 hope the next single will That's it for this week don't forget any comments pul in be as good. the Bare Facts pigeon hole. l'il see George Michael and Erasure in the GCR chart on Sunday ,and hopefully TU see you The Adventures next week. Bye "Raining All Over The World" The last hit I can remember this band having was "drown- RiCh.S

Don't be S.A.D. 0m /M 11

SMOKING ALCOHOL, AND DRUGS AWARENESS WKS. > 7/8 Weicome Welcome to the world of Smoking, Don't let him give up by himself, he's The aim of the campaign is to in- Alc(^oI, and Drugs -1 hope you find it not looking forward to it at ail. crease your awareness of the various an interesting one! If you're not feeling so drastic then substances and for you to ask yourself Towards the end of last term Wel- why not join our debate on legalising why you take them. This is probably fare Standing Committee and myself cannabis - read the arguments for and the hardest part to answer - if you can decided that we would run this aware- against and then write in to us with your answer truthfully then perhaps you ness campaign. We were concemed personal views. Does it really have less could fmd something alternative to do. about the levels of such substances long term affects than consuming alco- For example if you drink because being used by you and by ourselves. hol - what do you think? On of the other you're stressed could you do sport in- We felt a reminder was needed to articles on drugs is the risk you run stead? There is no one answerand there everyone about the effects of drinking, when taking or dealing drugs from a is no right or wrong (except in legalis- smoking and doing drugs and of some legal perspective. It's there for your in- tic terms) it is ail about your choice. of the conséquences. People can use formation and I personally think it's I hope the information at least the campaign as a reason for cutting quite informative. makes you think about what you are down (x* even stopping altogether! If There are some interesting little doing and why. Discuss it with friends you feel you want to be radical, like lan facts in the alcohol section which or you could always pop in and see me Fisher the Anglican Chaplain, then tum should enlighten you and you can test in the Union for a chat. to the back page of this section and fmd your knowledge in the top 10 Booze Justine Guest out how you can give up smoking. Busters.

Be Aware!?! 12 5 th June 1992 ÄCcoiiot 10. If half a pint of beer or a glass of Be A Social Drinker - The Sensible Way wine equals one unit, what are the rec- We drink for many reasons. Sometimes it is to be like other people, or we think ommended sensible drinking limits per it's expected of us. Most people drink sometimes so this Awareness Fortnight isn't week fon- saying "DON'T DRINK". It's saying "KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE DRINK- a) Men: 35»28 OR 21 Units? INO AND KEEP WITHIN SENSIBLE LIMITS". b) Women: 24,18 OR 14 Units? Drinking below the weekly recommended number of units a week is fine but it's wise to have at least two or t^ee drink free days a wedk because your body needs time to recover fìrom drinking alcohol. If you are worried or tense, drinking to help Booze Busters you unwind can become a habit. Alcohol is a depressant dnig which affects your judgement and self control. Il may cheer you up, or do just the opposite. Answers 1. FALSE : Only time can sober you up.

2. FALSE : Alcohol is a depress- ant It may relax you in the short term, but can jn'oduce more stress and worries in the long term.

3. FALSE: A Half pint of beer is just as strong as a pub measure of spirits.

4. It takes four hours to get rid of the alcohol in two pints ofbeer. half a pint of beer contains one unit of alco- hol and it takes one hour for the body to get rid of each unit of alcohol.

5. FALSE : Alcohol causes the body to lose heat.

6. The average Ixiton drinks 7.5 li- 6. In one year the average person in tres of pure alcohol each year. 10 Top britain will drink 5.8,3.8 or 7.5 litres of pure alcohol? 7. FALSE : People who do not get Booze Busters drunk easily are at more risk of de- Most of US enjoy a drink, but do you 7. People who gel drunk easily are veloping an addiction. know your limits? It's not just your more likely to develop a drinking prob- pocket that will feel the cost of too lem 8. Neither, they both contain much drinking, your health, work, so- TRUE/FALSE? around 130 calories. cial life and image can take a pounding too. Be in control, enjoy life and look 8. Which is more fattening, a large ice 9. FALSE : They are of equal and feel fitter by knowing your own cream or a gin and tonic? strength. drinking limits. Wise up to sensible drinking with our fact-packed quiz 9. A measure of vodka isstronger than 10. The recommended weekly a glass ofsherry limits are 21 units of alcohol for men 1. Black coffee or a cold shower will TRUE/FALSE? and 14 units for women. sober you up. TRUE/FALSE? f/f l o^^^'f cfrtUk VAe Kr 2. Alcohol reduces stress. TRUE/FALSE? a { /^c ìjj ^^ J 3. Drinking spirits is more dangerous than beer TRUE/FALSE?

4. How long does it take your body to get rid of the alcohol in two pints of beer?

5. Having A Drink Warms You Up TRUE/FALSE?

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POeQ^ ^W^^P /(Xe^ U! dspeuou! -QUB^yiWrs B p«^® X^ïSJWiyf) qe CaAJoS e V/OJ momnov£ 14 5 th June 1992 Drugs. years for a first offence, ris- The Approach Of ing to life for the more seri- CARQLi The PoUœ And The ous offences. For supplying Class B A ima pfmr- Courts. drugs, the normal sentence HûlÎiNi TW£ Äf is one of 12 months ai least I have been asked to give a view of 'm Bormeiù ww ^^ ^ Wk/O^, It must be remembered drugs from the position held by the KfHiM oam.Hi that supplying means just 'Blue Meanies*. For those of you who 'm ON HIM HH£N that. Il is not necessary for do not have a parent at hand who was a •mpouu MiûeDViL CÜJ6. money to change hands. 'Child of the 60's' , a Blue Meanie is fliABlO ùwtn -TO PÙSSÎSSIOU"^ 'The Heat' , 'The Filth' or 'The Old With heroin and co- WifH INTiHT TO SiJf^VI. Bill'. caine, it is accepted that SEHT£NUQ AT CÄOW« COOftT ihese are both very addic- Illégal drugs are for général pur- live drugs and I need noi ex- poses divided into two catégories, ie. pand on these. However, Class A and Class B or 'Serious S**t' many of you will have come and 'Not quite so serious S**t'. Class A to University from the drugs are heroin, cocaine, LSD, pre- origin, you would take the branded 'Rave Scene' and will have experience pared magie mushrooms and Ecstasy tablet. However, the numbbrains of this and it's derivatives. Class B drugs are world continue to take the unknown ta- Cannabis (weed, hash, and hash oil) and blets from unknown people. This is for- speed (amphetamine sulphate). tunate because otherwise I would be The approach of the Blue Meanies unemployed. to Class B drugs is to caution in the first LSD cornes from the same origin instance and in subséquent cases to and many of you will eilher have ex- prosecute. With Class A drugs, which perienced or have friends who have had are regarded as much more serious, a bad trips. Is it any wonder? Regular use trip to the court is compulsory in ail of this drug has been found to cause per- cases. manent mental disorder in some cases. Sentencing practice depends on Speed is again manufactured il- whether the person before the court is a legally and is addictive if used regular- dealer or a user. Many of you if you dis- ly. It is not uncommon for the addict to cuss this with your parents, who tell you use a syringe to inject the drugs to gel a that they had a great dme in the 60's (that is another interesting area of dis- Cannabis is a drug that causes most cussion), will fînd that they believe ail MiCK MAS CAUûHTMT» SÎVÎH discussion because there is a school of drug dealers should be shot at dawn, be- Uems ofmmmmt thought who beUeves it to be less harm- cause hanging is too good for them and tia-^M ßA«. «f VÄSWV A ful than alcohol. Against this there is that users are a completely lost cause f/F ///»i SBEH VitH^ \JP TOA^RAti some anecdotal evidence that shows and should be put on a Scottish island ÛF SP££D A OAY . THE PôLtŒSAIÙ H£ that heavy use over a period can cause to await their inévitable death! There is •mVSr 8£ If ^AD iTIfi mental dik)rder. One man I visited was another school who believe the dealers SePUfiAIÏ BAdS. HE was CHAHiiO standing on his doorstep cleaning his should be staked out in the sun, various mn poss£svoN nirn IHTSMTTO sofi«/ teeth. Nolhing wrong with that you parts of their body cov^ed in honey and . AT CfieWA/ COilfir t>£Nr£M£ might say until you realise that he was then an army of ants let lose on them. t y£ARS naked! II is therefore, possibly fortunaie for Cannabis is also regarded by the cli- those of you who iniend to become drug éf nics as a gateway drug to introduce the barons, that the courts take a more litto- user 10 other drugs. ral approach. of Ecstasy and LSD. AU the above are 'mind-altering' For supplying Class A drugs, the Ecstasy is an amphetamine deriva- and carry, therefore, danger to the user. normal sentence is one of at least three tive and with regular use has found to If you choose to use them then you do be addictive. Drug Dépendant cli- so knowing both that they are iUegal nics describe regular users as hav- and there is a risk to your health. The ing 'scrambled brains'. Whilst this problem with drugs, to quoteEric Clap- description could fit any of your lon, "is that they are nice to take." friends it must be borne in mind that Finally there is one other drug that this family of drugs has only been many of you will have experience of '^REAL BUZZ OOr oF DiMJHd AfiO available for about five years and and that is Amyl Nitrate or Poppers. UK£0 EVBKftOD^ TO ^öW WHO^ the long term effects are not yet This is not illégal and is used medically known. Il is manufactured in back as a heart stimulant and is usually used ' eôR 6 Street laboratories and then sold by by people as a 'kick-start' at parties. PLEAVeO COILTY WÎ7W pOSSÎSitÛffÎ people who, in normal circumstan- WfTH /A/73EVr TO SUPPiV- .-J ces, you wouldn't buy a second smiNCEO AT CKWN COMX T^ Now lei's be carefiil out there. hand newspaper from. 4 y£ARS: In normal circum stances, if you Derek Bunning were offered a branded headache Police Sergeant, tablei or a white tablei of unknown Met. Police Drugs Squad

Don't be S.A.D. èm fM 15

CANNABIS (pot, grass, ganja, weed, dope) LEGALISING CANNABIS - SHOULD IT HAPPEN? The above comments are just a few views on the subject. Write in and let us know what you think CANNABIS - (POT. GRASS, GANJA, WEED, DOPE) The Cannabis plant has been harvested since ancient times for it's psychoactive effects. The dried leaves and flowers (mari- juana) and the solidified resin of the plant (hash) are the forms in which cannabis is normally available. The active ingredient is called THC and when taken in small doses orally produces a 'mild high' and when taken in large doses produces severe and longer lasting reactions that resemble those of hallucinogenic drugs. As with that of alcohol, the reaction often has two stages: a period of stimulation with euphoria followed by a period of tranquillity, and with higher doses, sleep. Research has shown that long term use of marijuana does not affect intelligence levels but If the marijuana is smoked the ef- fect on the user's health is at the least as harmful to the lungs as tobacco smoke. However, as with alcohol, marijuana interferes with performance on complex tasks and therefore driving is dangerous under the effect of pot One final point worth mentioning is that more and more employers are giving prospective employees blood tests to look for evidence of drug taking. And unfortunately if they do detect traces of drugs, you could have a tough time finding a job! Legalising Cannabis For And Against Pointers

There has always been a differentiation between hard and "What else would bring thousands of young people together soft drugs, with opium and cocaine top of the hard drugs and can- having an excellent time without any violence. One things for nabis and amphetamines seen as much less harmful. sure -1 know it's definitely not alcohol!" Drug takers havealways been termed as 'junkies' or 'addicts' "Legalising drug taking will in effect concede victory to the and it has overseen the actual pattern of drug use that exists in thugs and weak-willed members of society" society. "Legalisation is likely to lead to more frequent misuse, and Most problems are not caused by addiction, but with regular the mental and physical suffering which accompanies it." drug use what is usually used is a cocktail of cannabis, amphe- "The only way we are going to meet the hideous problems tamines and aIc(^ol with LSD thrown in for good measure... associated with drug misuse is to reduce demand by making This is known as the friday and Saturday night 'buzz'. Young people (especially the young) have a greater appreciation of the people, with money in their pocket, can go out for the weekend happiness and satisfaction to be found in a healthy lifestyle" and buy a 'fun-pack' - a mixture of both hard and soft drugs "Legalising cannabis is setting up a stepping stone towards which when mixed with alcohol get a combined effect harder, more harmful drugs" With poly drug use, the distinction between hard and soft "Alcohol has been associated with football violence. Alco- drugs is unreal, and alcohol is an integral part of this experience. hol is a drug that can lead to violent behaviour. It is also pro- moted at football matches. Recentiy drugs such as Ecstasy, Are there not enough problems with legal drugs, such as al- LSD(acid), amphetamines and cannabis have been used by cohol, without legalising more? fans. There has also been a lull in terrace violence. Are the two connected? WHO KNOWS? T3rugs Can Really Screw You Up' How manyi'time s have you heard Plan : Needs liver u^splant she has to cope,. Concomin" g off drugs is the tiiat? A couple of years ago it was a This boys family were about to lose first positive thing that she has done in base of the Governments'anti-drug their only son. His only hope for life her life. Maybe that gives you some campaign. It was true then and it's just was if a matching donor liver could be idea of what her life was like before. as true today. found within 24 hours. This lad was She regrets ever taking drugs because Just how much notice did you take lucky, a liver was found and after 8 they have wasted so much of her life of this statement? The fact of the mat- hours of surgery he began to recover. and they are killing her ex-boyfriend. ter is that you don't realise it's truth His family were lucky, they got to keep But to think that she has gone through until you have seen it or even experi- their son. all this suffering just to stc^ taking her- enced the consequences of drug abuse. Case 2 oin is frightening. I'm a student dietician currentiy Young single mother with a two & It is easy to say that it was all her doing my Professional training place- a half year old son and a drug habit own fault but when she is sitting in front ment at a large teaching hospital in East which she is trying to break. Her life at of you crying uncontrolably, all you can Anglia. During the course of my train- present is desperate. She can't cope feel is pity. ing I have seen some of die consequen- with her son, she can't even like her son I don't really think that I have cap- ces of drug abuse. I have outlined a anymore. Her head hurts, her body tured the degree of despair I witnessed couple of cases below which proved to aches, her family aren't supportive, her inthesecases. Idon'tthink that you can me that drugs screw you up. son torments her, she cries constantly, explain such despair in words, but I do Case 1 her world is spinning, she can't eat and hope that my experiences have opened Emergency admission. she can't sleep. your eyes to a bad side of drugs. It is Patient : 17yr old, fit otherwise After more than 4 years of heroin all very well saying that drugs screw healthy lad addiction, 4 years of hell, she's coming you up, but until you realise how, I Diagnosis : Acute toxic failure with off drugs. Her son's father has AIDS, don't think you can realise just what the associated jaundice as a result of taking she just feels lucky. She is crying out statement really means. ecstacy. for help, but there is no such help that Sarah Parsons Progree : Very poor you can give. She is on her own, but Nutrition 3rd Year

Be Aware !?! 16 5 th June 1992 Do You Want To Give Up Smoking? Düring the S.A.D campaign, BF world can see that they are will print a list of names of the people FAILURESÜ! who are trying to give up during the Remember -1 in 3 smokers die from fortnighL smoking related diseases - NOW IS At the end of the campaign, the THE TIME TO MAKE THE EFFORT! names of those who successfully gave Give your names to Justine Guest up over the fortnight will be published. (VP) or put them in the bf box in the Those who failed will also have their Union. names published so that the whole If they can do it... France, famous fOT the number of smokers it has, has taken the plunge, a strict law banning smoking in public places. 40% of all adults in France smoke. Every year some 54,(XX) people die in France from diseases cau^ either by their own habit or by inhaling other peoples smoke. The penalties are stifìf with £30 - £60 for a first o^ence and £120 - £130 for an employer who doesn't enforce the law. The law is designed to protect the non-smoker and dissuade youngpeople from staning the habit. And if the French can do it.. So can we! Takmg Comment The t ^ A Personal View On Plunge Passive Smoking When you decide to give up, you I like my freedom, I enjoy being right to make people miserable in the may find some of these hints helpful; able to choose what I can and can't do, process? 1 • Advertise that's why passive smoking can get me Did you know that as well as the Teil everyone you are giving up (if really annoyed because I've chosen not normal ränge of symptons that {»ssive you are giving up this fortnight, you can to smoke and yet am being constantly smoking can produce such as blocked give your name to bf or Justine fc»- in- forced to. sinuses, headaches, sore thraots, etc, stant fame.) It's more dißicult to slip Take Draw Discos for instance, I re- that it can start Asthma in some people back if everyone knows. ally enjoy them except for one thing; I or it can make all^gies worse not to 2 • Be prepared for a tough time wear contact lenses & smoke makes mention the several hundred deaths of Dcm't choose a stressfiil time (but Üiem really uncomfortable and itchy, lung cancer a year. don't let stress always be an excuse not the smoke also makes me hoarse. to give Up.) Yes, people have a right to smoke if I'm not trying to lecture, just please 3' Use a crutch they really want to, but do they have the let me enjoy my freedom. There's no shame in this. You might get fed up of caircts though and What do you think, do you agree or disagree. sweetsaren'tabrilliantidea. Herbaici- Please write in with your views. so we can perhaps have a slightly äiferent view- garettes are a good alternative. point next week perhaps. 4 - List the advantages Feeling better, enjoying tastes and smells, loads more money. A smoker Thank-You who smokes a packet a day spends well This is just a big thank-you to ali thse who have + are helping with the addiction Over £500 a year on cigarettes, almost a awareness, that includes: Rachel, Steve, Giare, Alisiair, Sarah, Colin, Pete and BF for quarter of a füll grant putting up with me!!!

Don't be S.A.D. èm fM 17 Chequered Chekhov Bare Facts Last week DramaSoc presented jokes herel II also relies on a decent and "An Evening of Chekhov" in the Main translauon from the Russian, and the Hall. The first thing that struck me script occasionally fell down on this Harpers when I went into the Hall was that the point. The acting was generally good, tumout was, quite frankly, piss-poor. especially from John-Paul Wordsworth night club Tm told that altogether iess than 20 as the old man Chubukov (excellent people saw the production, which was make-up loo). Mau Barreit's Lomov present a shame, because it was worth seeing. was also well done. However, everyone Why did so few people go? Was appeared lo have problems remembe- everyone buying Grad Ball tickets at ring lines, which tended to slow down The Food the lime? Was the advertising too the pace, and break ihe audience's con- scarce? Was it that the posters didn't centration. say what lime the performances The second piece was "The An- For Thought siaried? Personally, I think people were niversary", set in a bank, and feaiuring discouraged because il was Chekhov - the pompous chairman, Shipuchin, and Competition it's got a repuiaiion for being boring, the woman-hating clerk, Khirin. Ed- mainly because it is boring if it's not ward Upsell, hugely over made-up as Would you like to go for a meal for well done. Shipuchin, was perhaps trying too hard, two, completely complementary, court- The second thing that struck me but Khirin came across very well. Al- esy of Bare Facts and Harpers night when I went into the Hall was the cast. though there was a problem with lines club. They were ali assembled on stage, being rushed, this was definitely the Well have we got a competition for frozen in a scene which could have better of the two pieces, especially once you! Just answer the question at the bot- come straight out of the last century. It the cast had setüed imo iheir roles. The tom of this column on a piece of p^r was the costumes that did it. DramaSoc ending in particular was very well done. with yoUr name and number into the obviously spent some money hiring de- Ali in ali, this was a good evening Bare Facts box in the Union foyer and cent costumes, and il was well worth it. out, and certainly worth the measly if you have answered correctly you will The only thing which detracted from £1.50 it cost to get in. I said before that go imo the (preverbial) hat to win a the visual effect of the whole produc- Chekhov if not done well, bui Drama- meal for two at Harpers. But the prizes tion was the lighting. It simply wasn'l Soc did do it well, and did a good job of don ' t end there, two runners up will also enough. bringing the scripts lo life. It's just a receive exclusive Harpers 'Team Mem- As with ali receni DramaSoc pro- shame that so few people went lo see ber' T-Shiits. So get thinking and drop duclions, this was a very intimate per- the show, and l'm sure the cast must US a line. formance; the audience were on the have been disappointed too. After ali, same level as the actors, and only a few it's extremely hard to give a good per- Here's the question : feet a way. formance IO an almost empty hall, so The first piece was "The Proposal". basically, the bigger the audience, the In a nulshell, it's about a hypochon- better the performance. Furthermore, driac, Lomov, who goes to ask for his l'm sure that DramaSoc can't afford lo What two films (mentioned neighbour's hand in marriage, but ends susiain too many loss-making produc- up having a huge argument with them tions, so let's suppori them before we in last weeks bf) have got a instead, like most Chekhov, the humour lose them. decorative connection with is that very clever, witty style which Harpers? makes you smile slighdy, rather than BFBod going for all-out belly jokes - no nob STUDENT WORK AVAILABLE NOW "W OPEUIIIGS THBODGHODT SOBREV, SDSSEX, KENT Mtum» .SootanUp/Jlinvds av^Uta of »tndy «pply JtalM I iMiiiiBiU «ttiM bUIIs __ _nmm dooiMo^oav oBwasaiDa or cdd — InjSET for GV .Maaaeaaiaal upimilmiM— milabta . ^ - tnilmftìm .Pf &amnmm w5h imaiUi— pt—ftfon» naw jui ••iliiin applteants win ba De^Ciils cove re ci at. Interview Tor aispolntmerrt cali 0737-246-245

Be Aware !?! 18 5 th June 1992 COFFEE^TE?.JVOPE, SUGARBLAST...... Cast your mind back a few weeks ,ney,months and you may well remem- VINYLPAP ber a band called "SUGAR- BLAST",fllling your unworthy Welcome back, huh my arse. Hope earlobes with their "indieish.gui- you didn't miss us last weék but I was tary .rockpq)". weil because Tm a bit of being a git fat lazy slob and couldn't be an arse licker (RALPHY has trained me bothered to pulì my finger out, with ac- weil!), myself and PORL managed to companying plopping sounds, and arrange an interview with JASON,the compose anything suitably conde- vocalisL So read on like many bands scending enough for yourconsumption. they were ail friends who got together This week I have, and for those de- and started out playing CULTcovers ,to generate social outcasts and misfìts quote "when the cuit were good!".At amongst yòu who have the time to this time JASON was working as an waste and read this total crap, I have no apprentice in a factCH7,and the thought sympathy of another 40 years doing much the First on the chopping block is the la- same didn't really "tickle his fancy",so test release from THE ORB, "the blue he decided it was time for a room" ali 39 minutes of pleasant change..SUGARBLAST played their THE ORB ethereal ambience. What total pigs first gig in a local bar supporting SEN- offal. I wouldn't waste 39 milli seconds SmZE (another band who have played early next ,depending on tours and EP's on this record given the choice. The Orb here), when they were called LOAN and things. Td like to thank JASON for should really consider getting their SHARKI! SUGARBLAST only had a taking the time to talk to me,and I apo- heads out the dark pokey holes they've few weeks to leam their entire set ,so logise for the "haphazard" arrangement shoved them up.. presumably lodcing they were "shitting themselves".They of this interview, my shorthand let me for each others colons? If this is the don't really see that they have been in- down when I came to write it up sound of music to come, I think l'd fluenced directly by anyone, althougth ENDLESS ART... rather listen to DEICIDE and their la- favorites in their collections range from test album "Legi(Ki". Shaft me with a ..A ..HOUSE.... EMI ABBA to SQUEEZE, and JANES AD- church spire, but this lot are supposed Having just typed all that stuff DICTION to BOO RADLEYS. to be into devU worship and with tracks above ,r'd be in no mood for a record JASON said that althougth they do see like "Behead the Prophet (No Lord review, if it wasn"t of a "jolly decent their future in music, they do it because Shall Live)", "Satan Spawn" and record" .Endless art is a re-release ,al- they enjoy it, and if it ever got to be a "Revocate the Agitator" who could ways a cop out in my book but never chore ,then it would end. The best part possibly argue with such mindblowing mind, I mean do mudhoney ever re-re- about being "popstars''is getting to do intellect. These american lads aren't lease records? NO! It's a song with mad things like getting pissed and stupid, I really don't know why we ali samples from Beethoven's fifth,and the standing knee-deep in ponds(! !)- What- don't go out and brand our foreheads lyrics are just lists of people who A evCT blows your trumpet, I say. For any HOUSE consider will live on in their "indie" band there's always going to be with uptumed crosses although art.Mentioned artists includeJOHN a toss-up, whether ,given the chance, to there is only a shallow imprinton their LENNON,TURNER( an artist),ANDY sign to a major label, because of the foreheads, but this has something to do WARHOL,OTIS READING,JIMI stigma of "selling out". Some people as- with the fact that the red hot pocker HENDRIX,MONET sociate the move with a loss of ident- went up though their arses to get th&re .ELVIS,JOHNNY RAY,JACKSON ity.this isn't something that wonies (naiTOwly missing The Orb on the way POLLACK....etc...,but have you femin- SUGARBLAST,given the chance they I believe?) Even tried playing it back- ists noticed anything?... would move onto a major,but they wards to see if there were any sublimi- nal messages and although it sounded wouldn"t be making any radical Yes,they are ali MEN!! possibly more coherent then when changes just to secure the deal.with EERGHl.Well on the B side is the played forwards it was still undoubted- bands like NIRVANA it's the record same song except ali the artists are ley total shite. American heavy rock. companies who've had to change their women,e.g.JANIS JOPLIN,EMILY Boll-axe! atdtudes,and not the artists. And what BRONTE,INGRID BERGMAN,VI- do their parents think of ail this?. "when VIEN LEIGH,MARY THE HOUSE OF LOVE release we started out our parents wanted us to SHELLY...etc....Well you may think their latest "You Don't Understand" find a more reliable occupation,because this ali sounds very boring.Well it could single and they couldn't have been they didn't really see any future in be,if it wasn't for a very catchy guilar more accurate if they'd tried. Yes, why it.Now, when they hear the records on riff,which brings it ali together for a the hell has Guy Chadtwat released the radio or read about 'their lads* they very listenable song.Nowt much to say such a piece of complete ncKi-entity, I feel quite proud, and now they're right except ,I wonder why the women only really can't understand. I used to like behind us." They're recwding plans for The House of Love, I even stili wear the made theB side?!!! JOKE.... the future? They've got an E.P. out on t-shirt. Maybe they should consider .cheers muchly the IST JUNE,called "SUNNY OUT- changing their name to House of Bor- .love SIDE",very topical me thinks, and an ing gormless Bastards, but even that album may follow later this year ,or m^es them sound interesting. But SLIMEY surely I hear you ali scream, they poss- ibly couldn't Claim the most cr^ulous

Don't be S.A.D. 19 nerds crown ail for themselves and be totally sexest but l'm sure ail you sister, who might apprieciate a band bloody hell you would be right. Equal gais out diere will have already drooled being dragged by kiddies fashion and honours must go to ASHLEY+JACK- over every inch (?) of these lads. Weil, whose music is a product of such pree- SON with "Here I Go Again" (chunde- they're called TAKE THAT and l'm ning, with hair by Vidal Sassoon etc, ring on about some complete waste of sure with ail the pampering they're get- please let me know, they may have this sperm) and THE K-CREATIVE with ting no doubt we'Il soon be hearing it single - they're the next Kids on The "to be free (brother john)" singles. The on the radio. This is their latest offer- Block, only an English version. What latter is the better of the three but stili ing..."it only takes a minute", yes, l'm could possibly be more anally stimulat- more fun and musical pleasure can be sure lads, bets that's what you tell them ing than that eh. This is an amendmenL.. gained watching turds decomposing eh, but surely you have to wait for you I have just found out that this track is when wedged in the pan. testicles to drop first? This is a band featured heavely on the radio 1 playlist, MY JEALOUS GOD (these guys bound for musical greatness, with stun- not for the music quality l'm sure, but should support 'Deicide' on tour eh, ning press coverage, having appeared that's what happens to fashion icons probably be more amusing than having on the front Covers of Smash Hits, Fast and itjustproves whatacrockofrigged to listen to any of the music) release Forward, My Guy (!!?) and Number shit Radio 1 is and likewise the whole "Pray" to no doubt a huge amount of One (three times, wow, swoon..). Ap- industry. Suffering sour grapes (or total indifférence. Quel surprise I must parently ail of TAKE THAT's live gripes?). say. I decided to listen to the Thumpin' shows are scenes of screaming fans and beats mix and it honestly sounded like a hysterical scenes with the band being Well, what a god awful pitiful pile constant stream of wet farts. Comes mobbed practically everywhere they of steaming excrement l've had to from only having a crap stereo, my appear. Surely not. I was tempted to in- handle this week. Unfortunately from speakers just couldn't handle the ol clude a picture of these boys, but was one pile of pooh to anodier, now where thumpin*. On a decent stereo l'm sure worried that by the time you had calmed are my revision papers.... it would sound marvellous, just like a down and stopped drooling and drip- stream of dry flappy farts cos that is the ping the paper would be soaked and to- Revlsing quality of sound conveyed here. tally ¡Ilegible and you would be out of RALPHY clean knickers...? BF Music Ed. Tve left the nicest to last Time to Anyone who perhaps has a younger Beer Festival '92 Saturday ZOtfï june 1992 liant -

Over 30 Mesj lager^ & Cider M "Day

Live ^entertainment Twk^ts £3 from the Grading (DesHi

Be Aware !?! 20 5 th June 1992 Death... Good With A Poetry Scythe!?! Box REAPER MAN by TERRY to h^pen due to an excess of lifeforce PRATCHETT on the Disc, eg dead people don't stop SURFER'S Walking around and a strangely famil- Corgi - £3.99 iar new kind of lifeform appears... Okay, so this has been out in hard- LAMENT I'm not going to spoil the ending, The sun anives and the denizens of che land back for quile some time but we're poor but it is one of the best Pratchett has awake students, aren*l we? written. In fact, the same can be said for The riders of the shore however can only la- Anyway this is yet another of the the whole book which is much better ment Discworld books ( there are now 11 in than the likes of "Moving Pictures" and • for Huey works his magic elsewhere paperback, if you count Eric). This ranks with "The Light Fantastic" and Now only the concrete jungle to stare at means it's set on a fiat world, riding on "Mort". It's definitely worth reading if weep four giant elephants which tour the void you like the Discworld books and if The kooks in op shiits and oakleys to avoid The lake to get my shot of syphilis upon the star turtle Great A'Tuin...( if you've never tried it might be a good you didn't know already). Just Uke this The only green room I no w enter is the Gents place to Start. As for me, 1* ve always feit The only barreis to find are warm moist ones one. really. a little worried about those congrega- The only resin to buy locally being a class In "Reaper Man", Death (tali dark tions of trolleys around the campus... B drug skeleton, good with a scythe) has been BF rating 8/10 Simple pleasures I do seek from my only forced into retirement Meanwhile all Mark Lawson mistress kinds of crazy things Start (or continue) But she lies still - for it is the summer flat speli Suntans are fine But I would gladly swap melanoma For Dr. Zog "Sex Wax" and my leash

Leon Graduation by (b. Mtnnc« of tk. ChukcUor'« Btf> Ball Dress 4p a Copy! Hire • Bored with the dress you bought last year • Can't afford to buy a new dress • Can't fit into your old dress

Minibus Shuttle service will operate ^ between the Union and Soiree dress hire Shop on the evening of Tuesday 30th June to allow you to select and pay for the hire of a dress

• S izes ränge from 8-18 • Prices ränge from £25.00 - £60.00per night

We will collect your dress for you - and you can pick it up on the day of the ball - July 17th and we will retum it for you on the following day.

If you are interested in using this Service please leave your name, address and telephone numl^ at the Entertain- ments Office by Friday I2th June. Teiephone Mike on 3267 Watch this Space for further details.

Debby Pulford (Grad Ball See.)

Don't be S.A.D. 21 Credits River Sports Day Entry

Editor - Steve Sports Editor (Revising) - Form Peter News Editor - Andy Entries must be accompanied with signed statements from ali Music Editor - Ralphy participants indicating swimming ability of 100 metres and Acting Arts Editor - Matt responsibility of own safety - please sign ALL team members. Advertising Manager - Doive bi ents Manager - Smiley Please note that ali entrants MUST wear plimsolls (including Typist - Jenny the Tug of War) and that life jackets are to be worn for ALL Pullout - Justine Legai Advice - John T. events. Printing - Mike The Printer Entry made by General Bod - Mark Lay Up - Morgan & Henk Department

Contact Address

Contrìbutors; Telephone No

Al. RMS, Bijan, Kaspar, Karl Name of Team (Separate entries for each team) & Steve, Chnstina. The Badger, lan, Shaen & Chris, Circle below for entry (Each team must have a minimum of 6 Andrea, Leon, Slimey, Sarah, people) Geoff, Rich, Alistair. Giles, and Dr Saiful tsam 1) Tug of War (4 Men, 2 Giris) 2) Slalom Canoe Race • Individuai and Team entries Men (Give Names) Girls (Give Names) Graduation 3) Beginners Canoe Race (Individuai and Team Entries) Men (Give Names) Lunch Girls (Give Names) 4) Kafling up Chariot Races (2 Men, 1 Girl) Célébration 5) Raft Change about (2 Men, 2 Girls) in Signed

Entry Fee £2 to cover prizes of Bottles of Beer, Medais etc

Statements indicating swimming ability and responsibility for Limch is served own safety. from 12 - 2 in Please sign ALL team members: Chancellors on I hereby confirm that I can swim 100 metres and am Friday JulylTth responsible for my own safety. 3 coxirses for just Name Dept Date £10 To book please contact The General Office in the Students Union Please note that shoes and life jackets must be worn and that open wounds should be covered by plasters.

Be Aware !?! Cinema " - „ w w o o OFU

»^vh io o Odeon ® 0 / \ O o O Union X L° - X ° Sunday ffight Band - The Frigidaires n "«/'/Pò world

P \ Ç 'Juesday - Happy Hours - éJOpm-SJpin = qN .irrâûn f/»,— s. o o tinct' \ ® . OO o ^^^^ o o ^ C) o

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«p o /on èm^ fmu 23 Personals

• Tbano-Mrs Thanobalasingam îs Reggae Soc AGM gonoa gôt youîli *HSE 60 Reggae Soc is back! AGM on Mon- Hiking Club AGM • îgoâwâyfûràftwdayâanâjustloûk day 8th June at 7.00pm up by the Main Thürs 18th June Lower Bar l.OOpm what b^ppeîjst JPçier Bar. See you there Ji Sfi-vicc by mail - what more voulj Herb ChiRhoAGM you ask fort? Fri 12th June (Wk 7) Nelson Man- Met Soc AGM dela/Main Union the handcufTs and whip on you, &om To elect a new committee. Wed M." 17th June l.OOpm in 4AB20. For Sale • BARE FACTS, Thaïes aiftightyflìtó 1. Sony Walkman with Sony stereo bcav^ yq» got thçreî Lqv^ Maotyn Booze Cruise to microphone and Sony power supply £200 Q StiU afw Oiat frog in my throai fût France 2. Sony pocket sized multi band re- you J.Ciatky, bui it'll do foi ^liuwii.) Sat27thJune ceiver with power supply and flexible • Whatçvw haî^nfid io the Conçton £13 See Sophie in 38AB20 arieUlOO Fosse? ias îf we don't ktîowî) T, Tel exl9264 3. Technics mini Midi system, CD Q BARB FACTS. ni feuyUfâtCbeavei) Dual cassette, Dolby B,C, 3 band tuner, foi adullai»! Love Mart>n 30W amp£300 J RiMncmbw...bl ANDbeavcr! ^ Sub Aqiia Club John Welsman weekends or after ¿1 SUMEMEI'F,B1GB0Y.... "J Sxv Tm youx biggtïst fan... Janey ó.OOpm on 0483 509393 ex 4170 or via Zà Sieve's World. Pjn> Time, Excel- AGM Psychology Dept. Thursday Week 8 6.30pm LTA lent-Not!!!-M Be There!! J JANE...can 1 have some cri'ant sponge andchoc fingets? (getting bet« ter?) • ShcenaMUSTdje„.,RAfURArï Personals persf = Kate try steepinir at night, wake up with me, not Roger. •'iloi^^iSraM • JLOVERqrSqrP... yo^ ^ cléâi? Q Rlchafd'sowhenarewei^pentiingthe i- y, ^.Qpôàlu^ M, yßiv '¡exarnsî night togetiicr then/ Love ¿md jiacîicîxx • JPaut - Oood luck îixm aîî oCT«te % • ; :i :haw got S/ililÇlariill^ ' ÎI we afways do go fir mn m untfacro I î • I havç got 2 - î ^Damion» • Mark * î've got a better ïoom than • Aoyraofe lâkin^s? yûuîl (traîna)'R, iïligîiliï::® - ® Plllillllll^ • Karen^lïat'sîtliîcewîthaiiorse^ '•^•iAÎi-ÎVlliSO;''^ lÉI-ir'l-^l; : Q Stevç^iiistbegrateftiirwinotîtvtng i.f.jwìthyotì^^^^ O tom irfÂtïC -il'Qo^ Juçki in 10 ycmouiof ihe windowlî STUDENT • Right on,man-J

ENTERPRISE ôlHiâi tìli^ilw l^inginylpûl of a honiy Chadipets. tvhuy dont you Is supported by Surrey come afongaiìd viiteiarhór? Training and Enterprise • i & F > âm*î iïiiôie me ôîghtbîrtisl - • Ka£i;-WhcnareycffigoihglntiieMe Council (tel 0483 728190) D, t-C • What*s this about GïastonburyStu?« SilHIft'ii^'ii^ R WmJoKnowHore? J Ali-CjinH/XTaCiirVî' Alhcn 1^0009 QliiB-FÖlir^^^iß® : sJ I g.. a\s ay foro iw. day^ .»id just loiîk SméÊHt Enterprise Project %v1lii luppens - Pcïsr J N uoia. I uin*t belioe \hii yuu wuuld "sink^tìiatlow-Oll Wi Fhor. Serwte House xt3206. • :: Ra wlînsf ? You'rç not Q Justine, 1 had a lov^y stwpiâng. HllÄÄ^iiMiÄ My bank balance looks healthyU •iM-iliBÄ Rachel, P.S. Your lOfj Iodes livoûder- ruU! • "Rememb^ w^ïî ^ yoang, you shofie like the Sufti" • Fridges, planes aitd tomatoe» < watch • Martin-Wekm?tfyOu*reNô.l-love 2,3,4^ . :

Be Aware!?! 24 5 th June 1992

Cathsoc Notices Glastonbury Hi ihere, the weekly events of Cath- Mass in Quiet Centre - 5.15pm soc continue as below, Sat 6th Mass fol- Forth Coming events Bus lowed by FREE lunch at More House, Weekend of Week 7, 13lh - 15th Nowave, in their infinite wisdom 12 Queen Eleanor's Road -12 noon S un June reteat to Worih Abbey. Worth is a have gone forth and booked a minibus 7th University sen/ice and renewal of Benedictine Monastery in leafy Sussex, to go to Glastonbury this year. I would ecumenical covenant with Anglicans, so if you want a quiet weekend with tike to point out that you don't have to Methodists and CU. NOTE 11.30am God in beautiful countryside this is have anything to do with said society, Veggie restaurant, ali welcome. Mon your chance, for more details see me we are merely attempting to provide a 8th Shining Light Prayer Group TB11 - (Ian) or leave a note in the Cathsoc pi- service. Anyone interested could they S.OOpm We are a charasmatic prayer geon hole TTir Week 8, Barbeque - please leave a note in NOWAVE pi- group, if you are at ali intrested or even More House Wed Week 9, trip to Upper geon hole with contact address. Mar- vaguely curious, come along and see. Room Community in St Albans Tue? vellous. You are very welcome Tue 9ih Mass in Week 10 Beach party? weather permit- On the NOWAVE, NO RAVE & LTJ - 5.15pm Wed lOth Prayer for ting More details near the time, That all NO DAVE muso scene, there will a Campus in Quiet Centre - S.OOpm Thr for now. Lots of love and blessings, quiet no sense of broadcast evening llth Mass in LTJ - 5.15pm Fri 12th lan B. next Friday. Ware the posters! Nowave gormless sped. Soul Club This is YOUR Soul Club. pointed. Hi to all you sad people who missed Don't lose heart - we've got loads Saturday night • better luck next time! morecoming up! Wet your appetite this Wanted!! With the boleric beats of the Flint- Friday night with "GRAVITY" in the All sci-fi fans we currenUy try to stones, sounds (?) from No-Wave and Lower Bar and watch out for our or- start a sci-fi club which would involve the melodies (yes - really good word gamic climax in Week 10. showing popular sci-fi films, series for that Chris!) of Jazz and Blues. Who See you Friday! example Star Trek ,Dr Who and other could walk away sober - sorry - disap- Shaen and Chris programmes which we may be able to get our hands on. If you are interested please leave me a message in Surrey Court Reception Free Sex addressed to Karl Davey or Email in The Amphitheatre ! Come on, get involved in National eel lkd@central Music Day and i promise you won't feel It is impossible to differenciate be- guilty the next day ! Karl tween National Music Day and sex: National Music Day, Sunday 28lh i. when you're as ugly as Malt, sex, June. like National Music Day, only comes Get a band going. Form a string round once a year. quarteL Do something ! RAG Bit ii. both, at least from my recent ex- Contact: There's still really not much news - perience involve large women scream- Matt Gunn, Wells 1/8 last week we chose our charities, thanks ing at the tops of their voices. Nik Long, Spiers 1/12 to those who came along who don't So why all the disinterest ? or Giles Porter, Ents. usually. We've kept about five of last year's and added about five, I can't re- i member exactly what but never mind! Wot No Starsky ? Rag week is still open to suggestions Yes it's that club again; the one Jac- we've started quite a good thing, and it (where are you Fabian Savage? I kie from Civ. Eng loves to hate ! would be such a shame lo loose it At thought you said you had lots of experi- JAZZ AND BLUES ! least come along jusi to fill some posts ence (ooer) of Rag weeks) anyway if Hope everyone who made it down so that the club is legit, on paper. anyone does have any whacky or even lo the Lower Bar on Saturday night en- Our last official gig of this year will sensible ideas then please come along - joyed themselves; yep, that includes be on Thursday 18lh June in the Lower its really not that bad and very infor- you as well Gill ( you really must hate Bar. Filling the live spot this time will mal!! If you can't make it then drc^ us me by now !). be a band with a completely unpro- a line and leave it in our pigeon hole in Thanks again to Soul Club and No- nounceable name (which i'm told the Union foyer. Rag Lower Bar disco Wave, especially all the DJ's; Andy, means orange in Portugese) who used in week 9 looks as if it could be well ex- Barney, Debbie, Simon and the Big to be known as The Hairy Anu. If you cellent - hopefully (Liz?) we are getting Man. want to hear more Siarsky, more J.T.Q. the manager of one of London's top My biggest thank you goes to Shee- and, shock, horror, probe, maybe even clubs to come along and DJ for us, na; Soul Club you don't know how some new records, then get yourself watch this space for more details. Rag lucky you are to have such a great chair- down there. meetings as usual every Tuesday at person. Jazz and Blues might be out and 6pm in the Barclays Room. See you Moving on, the next major event on about in the last week of term, but I'll there Byeeeeeeee the Jazz and Blues calender is our leave that as a bit of a mystery. Andrea (ragentsthinq). A.G.M.. This will be held on Monday Bye. 15th June at 6.00 p.m. in the Union. One completey P.S. IF you want a more original rag Please come along and help keep the hypnotised ballerina. mag we still need jokes, shove them in club going for another year. We think the pigeon hole etc etc.

Don't be S.A.D. èm fmu 25 The Post Sports Hall News Dear BF Sport, For the remainder of the term the Sports Hall may be full of nasty things like exam- MANYTHANKS... ination chairs and tables but the activities carry on regardless with changes of venue - to all the students and staff who to provide you the chance to give the brain a rest and the body some exercise. have tumed up to my various exercise classes throughout the year. Thank you for your participation, support and in- terest; I could not have done without íL Circuit Training Keep on exercising! Mon, Tues and Thürs 5.20pm Outside in the Sun Buckets of thanks to all my col- legues (OK, you too David) down at the Aerobics Sportshall and Manor Farm for having Mon 6-7pm University Hall been such a great lot and for having put Tuesday 1-1.50 Sports Studio up with me for the last two years (you Tuesday 6.30-7.30 (fimess) Sports Hall might have a peaceful summer now!). Wednesday 5-6pm University Hall You, and the activities you have offered Friday l-1.50pm Sports Studio have, no doubt, been the best part of my three years at University; thank you, and all the best for the future! Callanetics Hasta la vista! Mondays 5.15-6.15 Sports Studio ^ Christina Thursday 6.30-7.30 Sports Studio Dance Classes Boat Club Jazz, contemopary, ballet and tap are all up and running - don't miss a week! Win (A Lot!) Two weeks ago, members of the Summer Sensation! University boat club raced at Thames It's summer Sale madness ai the Sports Hall on Thursday 18th June when the shop Ditton Regatta. Like all regattas, has cut price clothing, footware and rackets! SALE! ! Thames Ditton is a knockout competi- tion, this particular one being raced over S(X)m in two lañes. Out in the Sun! The mens novice coxed four of Remember that you can have on loan from the Sports Hall footballs, Volleyballs, Ralph (Bx-cox), Billy, Jon (What a croquet and rounders sets if you fancy messing about on the grass, comeback) and Louis were drawn love against Tonbridge School in the semi- Campuspoti Staff final. They did not have a patícularly good row, yet they only lost by 1 ifl lengths. Also racing was Anne, in the novice The Badgers Bit , single sculls event. She had a good start, It may have been a change in the Balderick 26 n.o. and was in the lead after 10 strokes, but weather or a change in lady luck but On Sunday we entertained Vikings unfortunately she did not win (She ac- whatever it was , it resulted in the un- and on seeing them they certainly tually capsized, but I said 1 wouldn't tell thinkable and almost the unattainable. struck terror into our hearts ( they were anyíme.) Three victories in a week (two for the BIG ! ) but a great effort in the field with That same day, myself and seven firsts and one for the seconds ) have some great catches by The Badger ( oarsmen from Walton Rowing Club given the club an air of respectibility who only dropped the last one because went to Coate Water Park Regatta near after a tragic start to the season , Well he didn't want to buy a jug ) Omar, Will Swindon. this was a three lañe, 850m as you now riveted to this column (the and Mike, and great bowling by Allie course, and we raced in open coxiess only reason why you actually read dear and Si Holland reducded them to 111 fours, open coxed fours and open eights BF) I will begin to relate the epic and allout. Mike Halsall (22 ) and Tim ( 29 ("open" is the highest national level in mammoth events of last week.... ) set up a comfortable victory by 3 wic- rowing). We WON both fours events It was just an average day in little kets . and came second in the eight to Univer- sleepy Guildford as our intrepid players Well there you have it . A great sity of London by one length ("we'll made their way to Manor Farm to play week for Surrey sports and once again I have 'em next time".) Middlesex Poly - the team with small make a plea for support to the most suc- This weekend we raced at Twicken- town does with big city attitudes - ( cessful team in sporting history - so don ham, where we won open coxless fours good eh ?) and boy were they in for a your shorts and your bikinis and come and open eights. On Sunday we raced suprise !! We cantered to 178 in 40 down to Manor Farm and see the heroes at Peterborough, and won the open overs thanks to 56 from Dave Wilding in the flesh - that's right, cricket with a eights event (Loads of Pewter!). and 39 from that man Omar before run- difference at Surrey.. Next weekend (tomorrow) is our ning out winners by 20 runs . Wow ! Till next week cricket lovers and "home" regatta at Walton - hopefuUy The seconds bowled them out for 80 ( yes.. thanks Biff for turning up I ! more wins to come! Mike Halsall 6-8) and won losing only Love THE BADGER xxxxx Stuart Foster (Captain) two wickets - Steve Dewint 33 n.o and

Be Aware !?! 26 5 th June 1992

It's back and hopefully it's here to stay! Yep River Sports Day is just around and the Jolly Farmer Pub, which sounds pants must wear shoes and life jackets the comer, on Wednesday 24th June like a 'jolly' good idea to me. During and must have written verification that between 2pm and 5pm, and set to be just the day loads of really fun events will they can swim IOOmetres(seetheentry as much fun as last year's highly suc- be taking place like i^t races, tug-of- form.) Please wear shoes in the tug-of- cessful event. war, slalom, canoeing, obstacle races war, not studs. Also it is important tctfk After a two year absence due to andduckings(??!?) cover all cuts with plasters and if you^^ something like the pollution in the The whole thing is being organised do cut yourself, to see the St Johns Am- River Wey, the Annual River Sports by the Sports Staff, and the Sub-Aqua bulance stafT. Finally in the unlikely Day returned last year, and was, to put club with loads of help from people like event of sufT^ing illness afterwards a subtley, a stonking success. Last year Canoe Club, St Johns Ambulance, (such as a flu like illness) that the per- the Enviromental Health And Safety Guildford Police, Rowing/Boat Club, son in question should inform their doc- Department for Guildford gave it the and tons of other people far too numer- tor that they have been in contact with green light, and when approached about ous too mention. river water. river pollution said "the risks are mini- Application Forms are available in Finally here's to a good, sunny day mal and many British beaches are this issue of bare facts on page 21. So on the 24th and a great turnout. Be worse than the River Wey." get your team of 6 together (mixed There or be somewhere else, not as ex- So what's it all about then? Well please), and get your form down to the citing (or fun for that matter.) basically as you may have guessed the Sports Hall, or to bare facts (so we can event takes place by the River Wey, just pass them on to the Sports Hall.) Steve R. Coiiingham between the Yvonne Amaud Theatre It is very important that all patici- Acting Sports Editor Student Improver Tennis Course Wed - 5-6pm - Manor Farm at improving both stroke and game people whilst playing an excellent This costs £10.00 for the course techniques and, of course, general fit- game. which has proved to be both fun & furi- ness. ous. It is a great way to catch a healthy L.WakefleId It is a very energetic course aimed tan, tone your body and meet new

Don't be S.A.D.