THE PRIMARY SOURCE VERITASESINEEDOLO PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH? How they learned to stop worrying and hate the bomb — page 10 Get your filthy hands off my desert — page 15

Tufts’ Voice of Reason November 5, 1998 Live out the American Dream

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2 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 THE PRIMARY SOURCE Vol. XVII • The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts University • No. 5

D E P A R T M E N T S From the Editor 4 Commentary 6 Fortnight in Review 8 From the Elephant’s Mouth 9 Truth in Numbers 9 Notable and Quotable 24 A R T I C L E S How They Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Bomb 10 by Jonathan Perle Tufts’ nuke exhibit explodes in emotion, but the facts fizzle out. page 6 Shalom Through Strength 15 by Keith Levenberg Netanyahu surrenders the crucial element of conservative diplomacy. Everyone Says I Love You 17 by Alyssa Heumann Competitors offer incentives, so why should good students go to Tufts? The Taxman Cometh 18 by Jacob Halbrooks Every year Americans succumb to government fraud... and pay taxes. Endangered Species 19 by Joshua Martino Tufts Republicans discover that diversity means various shades of liberal. The Strong, Silent Type 20 by Lew Titterton Your class council is a positive alternative to an inept senate. page 10 Re-thinking Conservatism 21 by Aliza Lipschitz A family tradition breaks through the stereotypes. Deconstructing the Budget Shutdown 22 by Craig Waldman ALBO discovers the fine art of subtraction.

S P E C I A L F E A T U R E S Diversify, Diversify, Diversify 11 A university that looks like America is a pretty scary thought. The Vast, White Conspiracy 12 We smuggled in the minutes from the last meeting. Dear Parents 14 Tufts tries to explain a new idea to the people who actually pay the bills. page 15

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 3 FROM THE EDITOR THE PRIMARY SOURCE

dedicate this editorial to anybody who’s offering reserved parking for pregnant Iever driven around the Back Bay or women or families with small children on Harvard Square for hours on end looking their own initiative. for a parking spot. I attack this big-govern- Rather than rolling back this big- ment annoyance at the risk of contribut- government intrusion as logic would dic- THE J OURNAL OF C ONSERVATIVE ing to conservatism’s undeserved mean- tate, it’s only gotten worse. The reserved THOUGHT AT T UFTS U NIVERSITY spirited image, but many remain unaware spots in shopping-mall lots are mandated of a vast, left-wing conspiracy which serves under the feel-good premise that someone to further marginalize America’s silent suffering from a physical handicap should KEITH LEVENBERG majority from its parking rights: handi- receive a spot close to his pedestrian des- Editor-in-Chief capped spots. tination, a reasonable idea. One wouldn’t Handicapped parking spaces began want to see a wheelchair-bound soul roll- Campus Affairs as an innocent infringement on some of ing helplessly down a parking-garage AIMEE PESCHEL / Editor the most fundamental rights of man and ramp, after all. But now the government National and International Affairs have only gotten more frustrating since mandates handicapped spaces of a differ- CRAIG WALDMAN / Editor then. The government approaches a prop- ent sort. Boston, Cambridge, and many erty owner and tells him that if his property other cities reserve spots on the street in Production contains a parking lot, it must contain a bustling downtown areas for the handi- JEFF BETTENCOURT / Manager designated number of handicapped spaces. capped. The goal isn’t to give physically The individual’s right to do with his own disabled drivers the most convenient Arts and Graphics property as he sees fit vanishes. Don’t see spots, because city-street spaces aren’t MIKE ABELSON / Manager the danger? Consider the Webster’s defi- designated for any particular locale. The nition of “fascism”: “a system of govern- goal is to guarantee parking spaces for Business ment characterized by… private economic the handicapped while others often find it PHILIP DE VAUL / Manager enterprise under centralized governmen- literally impossible to find a parking spot Contributors tal control.” during peak parking hours such as Friday J ONATHAN B LOCK • JARED B URDIN The attack on conservative mean- and Saturday nights. PAUL E WENSTEIN • ALYSSA H EUMANN spiritedness (proposed name for fallacy: The difference between lot spots and JACOB H ALBROOKS • RALAN H ILL argumentum ad Eleanor Cliftum) stems street spots is subtle, but it’s critical: rather DAN L EWIS • J AMES L UBIN from the traditional left-wing assumption than satisfying a special need of the handi- that if the government doesn’t pass a law capped so as to make their day-to-day JOSHUA M ARTINO • KATY M CCUNE mandating something, it won’t ever hap- routine as equal to everyone else’s as is JONATHAN P ERLE • IAN P OPICK pen. (One can imagine befuddled leftists possible, it confers on the handicapped a ANDY S ILVERMAN • KERSTIN N ELSEN S TROM wondering how man’s uncivilized ances- special privilege that nobody else has: the LEW T ITTERTON tors ever started walking upright without right to find a parking spot wherever they Founders a government program.) The left-wing fal- want, whenever they want. The argument BRIAN K ELLY • DAN M ARCUS lacy implies that if the government didn’t that the disabled deserve this right be- force businesses to furnish handicapped cause they are more dependant on their Special Thanks spots, nobody would. In fact, any business cars than the rest of us doesn’t really hold THE C OLLEGIATE N ETWORK that did not voluntarily offer parking spaces water. The cities that offer the guaranteed- reserved for the disabled would likely find spot service also offer handicapped-ac- THE PRIMARY SOURCE IS A NON-PROFIT, STUDENT itself the casualty of weekly picketing by cessible public transportation such as the PUBLICATION OF T UFTS U NIVERSITY. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN ARTICLES, FEATURES, PHOTOS, CARTOONS, OR ADVERTISEMENTS bleeding-heart social activists. T which deposits passengers in locations ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL AUTHOR(S) OR SPONSOR(S) The only difference is that reserved more convenient to their destinations than AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE EDITORS OR spots allocated by the free-market would even the best parking spaces. Given the THE STAFF. TUFTS UNIVERSITY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT OF THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOR IS THE PRIMARY bear some relation to the number of spots immense cost to taxpayers of making these SOURCE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT OF TUFTS UNIVERSITY. people actually need. No more rows of train stations handicapped-accessible for THE PRIMARY SOURCE WELCOMES ALL LETTERS. WE unclaimed handicapped spaces in the front the minutely small number of disabled RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT OR TO DENY PUBLICATION TO ANY of the store while those unfortunate enough people who use them, it’s quite unreason- LETTER BASED ON ITS LENGTH OR CONTENT. ANY LETTER TO AN INDIVIDUAL WRITER CONCERNING WORK PUBLISHED IN THE to possess no special claim circle the lot in able to expect the government PRIMARY SOURCE MAY BE PUBLISHED ON THE LETTERS PAGE. vain. That the free market is perfectly to also provide any num- LETTERS OF 400 WORDS OR FEWER HAVE A GREATER CHANCE capable of providing this service to the ber of other competitive OF BEING PUBLISHED. PLEASE DIRECT ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: [email protected] or THE PRIMARY SOURCE, disabled community is apparent in the options. Competition, af- MAYER CAMPUS CENTER, TUFTS UNIVERSITY, MEDFORD, fact that many businesses have begun ter all, is the market’s job. MASSACHUSETTS, 02155. ALL LETTER BOMBS WILL BE RE- TURNED TO SENDER. ©1998. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

4 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 Letters Not Funny THE PRIMARY SOURCE is typical of those publications which are euphemistically re- The bilingual police ferred to as “conservative” (reactionary) in that its attempts at humor are cheap and feeble. But indeed, this is inherent in the have gone too far! nature of conservatism. Humor by its very nature is subversive in function (if only of expectation), so it should serve as no surprise that the only conservative exemplar of humor (albeit a shining one and the originator of black humor, which I was advised by a Dean of Students compiling a secret dossier, hun- dreds of pages long on me, came from Africa) was Jonathan Swift. Rather than offering support for its un- tenable positions, THE P RIMARY S OURCE prefers to engage in allergic thinking, and to hold up as sages those who show the greatest incapac- ity for subtle thought. With knee-jerk reac- tions and sophomoric digs, they think they can show how clever they are.

Dan Boyer Medford, MA

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THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 5 Commentary

General Protection Fault Lost in Space

ill Gates is the most unfortunate billionaire in the world. After ast Thursday, 77-year-old former Senator John Glenn blasted Bbuilding a business from the ground up and revolutionizing Linto space for a second time, but not without controversy. the computer industry the fate of his company now depends on the Spun by the White House and its willing accomplices in the media Clinton Administration’s ability to appreciate the value of free into a nostalgic event recalling the Camelot years, the Clinton enterprise to the American economy. The future doesn’t look very administration has managed to hide one of its most devious and bright. cynical political moves to date. The official complaint against Microsoft is essentially that the Last year, John Glenn played a key role as a ranking Democrat company violated anti-trust law by distributing Internet Explorer on the congressional committee investigating campaign-finance for free with Windows— reform in transforming in much the same way, it the probe into a partisan is worth noting, that circus, thereby covering Netscape distributes up a countless number Navigator for free with of misdeeds from Communicator. To con- Clinton’s 1996 cam- tinue the absurdity even paign. It is not surpris- further Boston Globe ing, therefore, that columnist Jeff Jacoby Glenn, eager to return to has pointed out that the space in order to add a local paper could easily final chapter to his be prosecuted under the same law for bundling the sports section legacy, whispered into Clinton’s ear, and found the President in with the regular newspaper instead of selling it separately. The eager to help him take the joyride of his life, courtesy of NASA— only legal difference, even by the government’s own admission, is and the taxpayers. that Microsoft bundled its product with the intent to increase its The timing of the launch, only 5 days before crucial mid-term market share relative to its competition. In other words, the govern- elections, is also suspect. Clinton, fighting for his political future, ment wants to punish the company not for its actions but for its is desperately trying to garner Democratic support. And who motives. George Orwell in 1984 coined a term for this form of better to serve him than seniors, always nostalgic for a flashback despotism: thoughtcrime. to Camelot, who historically turn out in larger numbers during To require every business to divide its products into their mid-term elections? smallest possible constituent parts serves neither the public nor any Perhaps the worst part of the entire ordeal is that Glenn’s gains imaginable goals of anti-trust law. It is clear, however, that the have been at the expense of more qualified lifetime NASA Justice Department’s crusade has nothing to do with serving the employees who also dream of returning to space. One such public and everything to do with persecuting a business for its candidate, Story Musgrave, at 67, is younger and more qualified integrity. Microsoft produces the top software package in every than John Glenn, but was told he was simply too old for space single niche of the market because it delivers something of value travel. Glenn has cashed in his political markers wisely, but it is to its customers; Netscape, on the other hand, wants to increase its disgraceful that the President of the United States willingly aids market share by using the coercive apparatus of government to and abets such devious behavior. bring Microsoft down. To think that Microsoft is the company being accused of stifling competition! Fortunately, Bill Gates may finally be realizing that the cru- Shut Up and Work sade against his company is a crusade against the principles of the free market. Over the summer, he sought advice from capitalist t’s been said that you can’t beat a dead horse, but don’t tell that ideologue and Nobel laureate Milton Friedman. No doubt Fried- Ito senior Alex Shalom. The left-wing radical, in a recent Daily man has a better understanding of Janet Reno’s machinations than Viewpoint, once again lambasted the Tufts administration and any of Microsoft’s lawyers, but against a corrupt and capricious President DiBiaggio for failing to protect the jobs of its longtime government there is very little a man of integrity can do. The custodial employees in last year’s UNICCO fiasco. A key point individual who demonstrated the most telling understanding of the Shalom and radicals alike fail to realize is that the difficult controversy was the unidentified Microsoft employee who mailed decision made to switch custodial services from UNICCO to ISS a hundred copies of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged to the Justice benefited students through minimizing tuition increases and Department. With each passing day Reno’s crusade against devoting more financial resources to educational programs, where Microsoft seems to better resemble Rand’s socialist dystopia. The money is certainly needed. only thing that bodes well for the sign of the dollar is that there still Although Shalom portrays the University’s action as one of remains plenty of gold in Gates’s pocket. callous insensitivity towards the custodians, the truth is different.

6 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 Four years ago, when Tufts first contracted out its custo- dial services to UNICCO, the University guaranteed no loss in pay rates for three years. All custodial employees were given the opportunity to sign with ISS. Many chose not to. Those custodians who chose not to sign with UNICCO were given an extremely generous $1 million severance package from the University. During these three years, the custodians’ salaries were well above marketplace averages, while the custodians’ job perfor- mance was, according to most students, below par. In 1997, when the UNICCO contract expired, custo- dial services went up for bid again, with ISS bringing forth a better proposal. While ISS’s pay package is somewhat lower than what UNICCO offered, it was still well above the market average. Furthermore, ISS ex- tended their contract to the UNICCO custodians. How- ever, many UNICCO employees declined to join ISS, despite the fact that they would probably not find a better offer anywhere else. Indeed, this would also explain why so many former UNICCO employees are still unem- ployed: no other employer has made an offer that is more appealing banquets. Students, after all, pay to be here, and the administration that Tufts’ offer. gets paid to accommodate their interests. The fact of the matter remains that the Tufts administration decided to put the interests of students first. Were the University to continue paying its custodians inflated rates, as Shalom would like, Many Voices, Budding Race War the likely consequences would be a loss of funding in a number of areas or a further increase in tuition. Certainly, either of these two ast week Goddard Chapel hosted, “Many Voices, Building prospects would leave Tufts students up in arms. Furthermore, LCommunity,” the much-hyped sequel to last month’s students seem to be much more satisfied with the quality of cleaning multiculturalist manifesto, “Many Voices, No Community.” As services ISS has been providing. Instead of whining about the left-wing as these workshops are, the organizers continued their treatment custodians have received at the hands of Tufts’ admin- frustrating habit of denying that theirs is a political message with istrators, Shalom and his comrades should concentrate their efforts which students in good conscience can disagree. One promotional at training these employees for jobs that pay well above the $10.08 flier portrayed three restrained primates beneath which was scrawled an hour that Shalom recommends as necessary for a married couple the slogan, “Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not bliss,” as with two children living in Boston. if to suggest that anyone who disagreed with the “Many Voices” pundits necessarily did so out of ignorance. This sentiment insults Falling on Deaf Ears every member of the community, who prove simply by attending the university that they have transcended a certain level of “igno- rance.” t is not often that speakers with any degree of celebrity come to Once one entered the chapel the student organizers from the Ithe Tufts University campus. However, when they do, the Admin- Coalition for Social Justice and Non-Violance distributed a green istration takes every step not to invite students and instead fill their flier discussing a favorite shibboleth of the multiculturalist left, seats with more valuable friends of the University, as occurred once “white privilege,” consisting of a list of fallacies spun by writer more during George Mitchell’s Fares Lecture on Wednesday. The Peggy McIntosh insinuating that not only are white males respon- administration again decided to limit the number of tickets to a sible for all the evil in the world but that they do so without even paltry number and chose not to advertise where they could be knowing it. The bulleted list of Miss McIntosh’s “privileges” obtained, thus keeping the event as low-key as possible. includes such gems as “I can choose blemish cover or bandages in Tufts pulled the same thing last year when Margaret Thatcher ‘flesh’ color and have them more or less match my skin” and “I can delivered a much-needed dose of reason to an audience packed with take a job with an affirmative action employer without having co- Fletcher students, students from other universities, and professors workers on the job suspect I got I because of my race.” Such a who demonstrated their appreciation for their reserved seats by problem could easily be alleviated by abolishing affirmative picketing the Iron Lady like immature 1960s radicals. Tufts stu- action such that “people of color” no longer receive jobs because dents were forced to listen in on a shoddy PA system outside the tent. of their race, but in this as in every other issue, the organizers and The administration apparently fails to grasp that speakers come attendees at “Many Voices” simply just don’t get it. Unfortunately, here to contribute to the intellectual life of the community, not to the spewing of academic doublespeak at each successive workshop the social life of the president’s inner circle at Gifford House only causes these activists to drift further away from reality.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 7 Fortnight in Review SM Comedy is allied to Justice. PS A retired Wisconsin carpenter rummaging in an unused stove —Aristophanes has received national attention by finding a slice of toast he figures has to be at least 38 years old. Mmmmmmm… toast….

PS Conspiracy theorists take note: John Glenn sailed into space PS The Top Ten Reasons You Probably Didn’t Vote on Tuesday: this week to a hero’s fanfare, but few are aware that he is defying a 35-year-old order by President Kennedy that, as a national hero, his 10. Mike Capuano life was too valuable to risk, and therefore could not be sent on 9. Went to get tanked with Ted Kennedy instead another mission. Just who was that figure on the grassy knoll, and 8. Busy trying to get the taste of Pepsi One out of your mouth how did Mr. Glenn convince Bill Clinton that he had enough of “the 7. Senate budget shutdown meant no shuttle service to the polls right stuff” for one more go? Inquiring minds want to know…. 6. Tabitha Soren’s post-hypnotic suggestions just not as compel- ling without Clinton on the ballot PS A 7-year-old first-grader in Indianapolis who brought 20 bags 5. Post office sent your absentee ballot to Guam of crack cocaine to school was arrested and charged with felony 4. You’re a Euro drug possession. His priors included pimping out his 4-year-old 3. Spent the whole week looking for the line to get George Mitchell sister. tickets 2. Busy studying for the Explorations pornography class PS New Hampshire authorities announced that they are not pre- 1. Spent the day watching The Lion King until you became a racist pared to handle terrorist bombings, in light of bombs which were found in two Concord libraries. But they did decide to suspend the PS A 19 year-old New Yorker jumped to his death from a sixteenth library cards of a few local Hamas members. floor courtroom window when the judge told him he faced a severe prison sentence. He was promptly shot six times by nearby NYPD PS Olympic gymnast Dominique Moceanu divorced her parents officers for good measure. and sued them for mismanaging her personal finances. Apparently, they used her winnings to build a new patio and level out the dining- PS Former Exorcist star Linda Blair was reportedly appalled that room floor. tests to find a cure for actor Christopher Reeves’ spinal injury involved testing on laboratory animals. When asked for comment, PS In a Minnesota Congressional district, Reform candidate and Reeves levitated from his wheelchair, spun his head around, and former WWF professional wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura has blew chunks. the support of one fourth of the district’s voters. Ventura describes himself as a “fiscal conservative and socially moderate and liberal.” PS Wild hogs are multiplying rapidly in Kansas, where they are Skeptics worry, however, that after November 3 it will be discovered tearing up crops, spreading disease, and killing livestock. The that the entire election was staged. carnage is synchronized perfectly to The Dark Side of the Moon.

PS After four years, the small Arkansas town of Bentonville is PS A Nevada judge cleared the way for Joshua Hansen to vote in finally finishing a 68-mile network of pipes that will purify the Tuesday’s election even though he doesn’t have a Social Security water supply. This much pipe hasn’t been laid in Arkansas since card, a state driver’s license, or an ID card as required by Nevada law. Clinton was governor. Hansen says his anti-government convictions prevent him from attaching numbers to his existence. As such, Nevada will now refer to him as “Unnumbered Citizen #00001.” PS The Oregon KKK’s web page informs prospective hatemongers that to be an officer in the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan one must have at least a GED. But they claim the high-school equivalency test is culturally biased against dumb rednecks.

PS A teen who was shot six times by the NYPD when officers mistook his water pistol for a handgun was awarded $100 million by a New York court. Guess the coppers got soaked after all.

PS In other Big Apple news, Kevin Cerbelli walked into a police precinct and stabbed an officer with a screwdriver. The injured officer was surprised because people carrying screwdrivers near police precincts are normally shot six times before they can enter the station.

8 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 Truth in Numbers The 1998-99 TCU Senate Amount the senate voted to give it- self in capital expenditures last week: $1,056.00

Amount Ears for Peers is budgeted for “detergent” and “laundry money”: $67.98

Amount Oxfam Café is budgeted for “games” and “decks of cards”: $25.96

Amount the Strategic Gaming Soci- From the Elephant’s Mouth ety is budgeted for “games” and “decks of cards”: $0.00 ☞ Tufts’ Women’s Week runs from November 1 to November 12. Key-note event: “Why Girls Can’t Do Math.” … Calvin Amount Oxfam Café is budgeted for “Chip” Gidney proves funny enough to be an honorary Wayans “coloring books,” “Playdough,” and brother, delivering a lecture arguing that cartoons are institutionally “crayons”: $100.62 racist because Ebonics is used to signify that a character is uneducated. Quoth Gidney, “I got me my Ph.D. and I still use African-American Cap the senate normally imposes on English.” And people wonder why we’re always griping about affir- mative action…. The Tufts Daily continues its proud tradition of food in a group’s budget: $40.00 illiteracy, inventing the word “unitity” in a front-page headline. Must have been getting giddy for Women’s Week…. Guilty whites and irate multiculturalists Amount the senate budgets fourteen descend on Goddard Chapel for “Many Voices, Building Community” and come up with Culture Groups for food: $6,392.69 some grrrrrrreat ideas for helping us all get along, including instituting a required course on “intolerance,” placing a soapbox on the academic quad so people can speak their minds, Number of dollars these groups spend and getting the TCU senate more involved. Is there a way to fight racism in a clown suit? above the standard cap: $5,832.69

☞ Tufts University makes a cameo appearance in Alan Charles Kors and Harvey Cap the senate normally imposes on Silverglate’s The Shadow University: The Betrayal of Liberty on America’s Campuses, a new group’s funding: $1,000.00 describing Dear Alma Mater during the speech-code days when it was divided “into ‘free- speech’ and ‘non-free-speech’ zones.” “Tufts students,” they write, “marked off the Amount given to new group the Coa- physical boundaries between ‘free’ and ‘un-free’ zones with tape and chalk, and they lition for Social Justice and Non- invited the media in. The campus looked like Berlin in 1946.” It seems Tufts’ plan to Violence: $3,100.00 improve its name recognition includes being embarrassed in every single exposé of the modern academy…. But wait, there’s more! Kors and Silverglate lambaste John DiBiaggio’s Number of new groups the senate quizzical Boston Globe Op-Ed wherein the prez opined, “Countering hate speech [and] could fund for the amount Tufts’ Cul- disciplining the hater… [are] worth every effort, [but] editorial writers and lawyers… with ture Groups spend on food: 6 an easy-to-construct argument— namely, ‘Free Speech is good’— don’t understand that.” Alas, the argument becomes harder to construct with every passing day. Number of literary magazines funded ☞ Predictions: English 1 requirement replaced with English 0, taught by Chip Gidney.... this year: 6 “Many Voices” gives itself another sequel and the campus begins to look like Berlin in 1946 for the first time since 1995. Number of new literary magazines proposed as a means to increase di- ☞ T HE E LEPHANT never forgets. versity: 2

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 9 of Time will spark a debate around the coun- Tufts’ nuclear-bomb exhibit explodes in try, starting at the American University Law emotion, but the facts fizzle out. School on February 5. This so-called debate features Schell, Robert McNamara, former Senator Alan Cranston, “and others.” All three of the people mentioned by name are How They Learned to Stop advocates of nuclear abolition, and the fact that there is not one person who is not of the liberal mindset shows just what kind of a Worrying and Hate the Bomb debate Mr. Schell is looking for. Mr. Schell and the exhibit also tended BY JONATHAN PERLE to focus on the atomic weapons themselves, n October 15th, Tufts’ Aidekman Art why nations like India and Pakistan who rather than who is in control. We have noth- OCenter hosted the opening of had just spent fortunes developing nuclear ing to fear from England, France, or even “Hiroshima/Nagasaki: The Fallout,” con- weapons would voluntarily give them up, Russia (if its political situation remains the taining photographs, film clips, paintings, to which he responded again only that they same), because these are countries with smart a mock bomb shelter, and even a replica of would take America’s lead. Asked about and rational leaders. The problem with “Fat Man,” the nuclear weapon used on Iraq and North Korea, both of which en- nuclear weapons is not their existence (tech- Nagasaki. Throughout the exhibit the hor- gaged in exten- nology is neu- rors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were dis- sive research to- tral), but who played, and buttons saying, “No Nuclear wards the acqui- controls them. Weapons” were on sale for fifty cents. Film sition of nuclear The clips urged an end to nuclear weapons weapons, he de- Aidekman ex- throughout the world. The message was one clined comment hibit is typical of emotion, but, unfortunately, the exhibit on Iraq but ar- of what happens was completely one-sided. It purported to gued that the US when emotion be an exhibit about the nuclear bomb as a had not pro- rules over rea- whole, not just about Hiroshima and vided enough son. Clear think- Nagasaki, but it contained not one word aid to North Ko- ing has been about the strategic value of nuclear weap- rea. By this time thrown out of the ons. The exhibit never showed any of the I was slightly equation, and in reasons why nuclear weapons in today’s confused about its place there is world are a necessity. Realists will find it his logic, but he an appeal to the quite frustrating to walk through an exhibit had to do an in- hearts of the of total idealism. No part of the exhibit was terview so I de- world. Perhaps dedicated to national security concerns or parted— al- Mr. Schell and to plain facts about the reality of nuclear though not be- his compatriots weapons in the present day. fore I got a free are willing to The opening ceremonies featured two copy of The Na- trust the word of speakers. One was the president of the tion which was men like Hiroshima/Nagasaki organization in Japan, being distrib- Saddam and the other was Jonathan Schell, a very uted and con- Hussein and liberal proponent of total nuclear disarma- tains about half Kim Jong-Il, but ment. Mr. Schell gave an unremarkable talk of Mr. Schell’s few Americans about the history of atomic weapons. His new book, The would trust their basic underlying message was ‘Nuclear Gift of Time. safety with these weapons are bad,’ but he presented no fea- The long people. If Mr. sible way in which to get rid of them, nor did excerpt featured Schell and those he demonstrate any sort of strategic under- interviews with who follow his standing of nuclear weapons. His viewpoint many people fa- philosophy is purely one of emotion. mous for their were put in THE PRIMARY SOURCE had the opportu- involvement in charge of nity to briefly talk to Mr. Schell. When government during the Cold War. It is not a policy-making, the entire free world would questioned about how he proposed to get rational study looking at both sides of the fear for its safety. the entire world to disarm, he responded that issue but a one-sided piece which assumes the United States should take the lead, and from the outset that abolishing nuclear weap- Mr. Perle is a freshman majoring then all the other nuclear powers would join ons is both necessary and feasible. In its in International Relations in. I then rejoindered with the question of introduction The Nation writes that The Gift and Political Science.

10 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 SPECIALA SECTION DIVERSIFY, DIVERSIFY, DIVERSIFY

Tufts’ self-anointed socially conscious leaders put on their thinking caps and brainstormed a few ideas to heal our pain at “Many Voices, Building Community.” Among other things, they suggested that Tufts have a student body representative of the US population along racial, ethnic, religious, and gender lines…. And let’s not forget ideological diversity, either. Uh-oh! Looks like Bendetson Hall would have to do some difficult tinkering!

Jehovah’s Witnesses In the US population: 969,000 Scientologists Proposed Tufts representation: 18 In the US population: 4,000,000 Special concerns: Eighteen people Proposed Tufts representation: 76 that make every day feel like Hallow- Hare Krishnas Special concerns: They say they’re een. Big difference: they don’t take In the US population: 250,000 not a cult. Everyone else says they candy, but they come for your soul. Proposed Tufts representation: 5 are. House them in Bridge/Metcalf. Special concerns: Necessity of a daily shuttle bus to Logan Airport.

The Amish In the US population: 134,000 Jews Proposed Tufts representation: 2.5 In the US population: 4,300,000 Special concerns: Res Life won’t get People who voted Republican Proposed Tufts representation: 81 off cheap with this one, and kerosene In the US population: 40.71% of the Special concerns: Ooops! Seems hazards alone will make them miss electorate (1996) Tufts is 22.8% Jewish, and they’d halogen lamps. Don’t forget butter- Proposed Tufts representation: 2,036 have to expel about 900 Jews to reach churning equipment in Dewick and a Special concerns: Preferential treat- an undergraduate population suffi- communiqué to TUPD not to ticket ment for conservatives and piles and ciently “diverse” for the “Many the horses. At least it’s 2.5 less people piles of money for THE P RIMARY S OURCE. Voices” crowd. complaining about CampusLink.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 11 SPECIALA SECTION TOP SECRET FOR YOUR EYES ONLY TOP SECRET

The MAN. As honorary uncovered a grass-roots as I was saying. The stu- chairman-for-life, I hereby conspiracy to uproot the dents of Tufts University call this emergency meeting white privilege we have are up in arms. What’s more, of the vast, White conspiracy enjoyed for so many years, they’re fit to be tied. I to order. [bangs gavel] I and none of us will ever hereby yield the floor to will now take a roll-call be safe again! my partner, Miss Alexandra attendance. All. [gasping, in unison] “Sasha” Baltins, who will Alex Shalom. No! Nobody The MAN. Order! Order! Or- review just some of the must learn my horrible se- der! dangerous ideas they’ve cret! [runs out of room Alex Shalom. Thank you. If come up with at their lat- screaming] you will all look at the est workshop. The MAN. Ahem. All present chart on the board, I think Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. and accounted for? you will begin to appreci- Thank you, Alex. Ladies and All. Aye! ate the gravity of the gentlemen, I have been in The MAN. Before we get situation. a prime position to observe around to distributing the 12345678901234567890123 the progress of Tufts’ “so-

12345678901234567890123 advance answers to this 12345678901234567890123 cial activists,” as I have year’s S.A.T., there is an 1234567890123456789012Number of workshops 3 successfully infiltrated 12345678901234567890123 urgent matter we must dis- 12345678901234567890123 their inner circle, mas-

12345678901234567890123 cuss. Our operative at 12345678901234567890123 querading as one of their

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Tufts University has 12345678901234567890123 own and earning their brought a most pressing 12345678901234567890123 trust. They are so fooled 12345678901234567890123 matter to my attention. 12345678901234567890123 by my disguise that just

12345678901234567890123

Without further ado, I turn 1234567890123456789012White privilege 3 last night I was invited the gavel over to him. Is 12345678901234567890123 for a protest siesta and there anyone who can help Kenneth Starr. Point of sit-in at the home of a him carry the overhead pro- inquiry! former UNICCO worker. I jector? The MAN. On inquiry. felt so dirty when I left Unidentified Poli-Sci Ma- Kenneth Starr. Is this go- that I had to cover myself jor. Me! Me! Me! ing to interfere with our in band-aids... Good thing The MAN. Thank you. Please efforts to frame the Presi- they come in my own flesh begin. dent of the United States color! Alex Shalom. [returns, re- and trick the public into All. [roaring laughter] gaining composure] Thank believing that all this The MAN. Order! Order! Or- you, Mr. Man. As many of time, he’s really been a der! you are no doubt aware, for philandering womanizer who Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. the last four years I have has trouble telling the Anyway. My work culminated been moonlighting from my truth? last week in “Many Voices, regular job as a lobbyist Alex Shalom. Two words: Building Community,” and, for the flat tax by work- yes. Crack investigative since I helped plan it, I ing undercover as a guilty reporters pasting up syn- was in a prime position to white “activist for social dicated news stories at take note of what tran- justice” at one of the best Tufts’ daily newspaper have spired, transfer it to mi- institutions of higher edu- blown the lid off the run- crofilm, and relay the im- cation in the Medford/ away spending habits of portant data to White Somerville area. During the your investigation in a America. I’ll begin with course of my mission I have front-page exposé! Anyway, what might be the most dan-

12 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 SPECIALA SECTION TOP SECRET FOR YOUR EYES ONLY TOP SECRET

gerous proposal: it has like a silly question… but… situation. For heaven’s been suggested that a soap- well, what are the things sake, a person of color box be placed outside the we do to keep minorities came within an inch of tak- main administration build- down? ing the single-season home- ing, which, as you know, Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. run record from us this has acted as our White Isn’t it obvious? year. I think the reason headquarters since the The MAN. Well... er... you you folks don’t appreciate tragic Barnum Hall fire, know, I’m kind of curious what we do for you is be- so that minority students myself. cause you’ve taken the ben- on the way to campus can Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. efits of white privilege stop, stand upon the soap- Well, we... I guess we... for granted. You know you box, and speak their minds. well, we made The Lion King. can walk into a music shop All. [gasping, in unison] The MAN. And what else? and find the music of your Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. race represented, into a I’m afraid the news gets Well, we made The Lion King, supermarket and find the worse. If you’ll turn your and we made flesh-colored staple foods which fit your eyes to the overhead and band-aids… and we even made cultural traditions, into consider these statistics Lion King--themed flesh- a hairdresser’s shop and I’ve compiled, I believe colored band-aids... find someone who can cut it will shed some light on The MAN. That’s our plan to your hair-- the situation. keep minorities down?! It’s The MAN. Sasha, what the 123456789012345678901234 no wonder everything we’ve hell are you talking about? 123456789012345678901234

123456789012345678901234 worked for all these years Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins.

12345678901234567890123Number of soapboxes 4

123456789012345678901234 is vanishing down the toi- I’m talking about the-- 123456789012345678901234 The MAN. 123456789012345678901234 let! I’m sorry. Your 12345678901234567890123Institutional racism 4 Rupert Murdoch. Well, you time is up. Ladies and

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123456789012345678901234 know, we’ve all been kind gentlemen, I’m going to mo-

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123456789012345678901234 of busy. I haven’t had a tion that we pass a resolu- 123456789012345678901234 free minute to spare to tion not to go through any 123456789012345678901234

123456789012345678901234 oppress the black man for of this race nonsense any- 123456789012345678901234 years! more. All those in favor? Alexandra “Sasha” Baltins. Eric Rothschild. It’s true. Do you all see how grave We’ve all been working very the problem is? These fig- hard. ures speak for themselves! Bill Gates. Seriously. Is We are in danger, ladies this all you’ve got for and gentlemen. Before too us? I don’t have time long, Tufts’ social activ- for this. ists will succeed in dis- The MAN. Order! Or- mantling all the apparatus der! Order! we use to keep minorities Alexandra down! “Sasha” George H. W. Bush. Point Baltins. of inquiry. Thank you, Mr. Man. The MAN. On inquiry. Ladies and gentlemen, George H. W. Bush. I real- perhaps you don’t real- ize this is going to sound ize the gravity of the

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 13 SPECIALA SECTION

I. Melvin Bernstein Vice President Tufts Univeristy Medford, Massachusetts

ves us money, Dear Tufts parent/guy who gi as a ribbon- ggy, Bobbie, Johnnie, and I were doing Jell-o shots onventually the patio we and con noticedvinced therethe senate w to fund a Not long ago, Pe as a blast, and e ill the kegger I noticed y going on, so we pitched in. The whole thing w as waiting for Patti to ref cutting ceremon omyn’s Center, but while I w ves so much, so I felt Port-o-Potty next to the free landscaping for the W ufts’ Mission Statement lo . a few students demonstrating the kind of social firmativeconsciousness affirmation which ofT solidarity compelled to respond to their concerns with an af The students, who were not white, although I couldn’t figure out exactly what race they were, were distributingallet and still a as in a liquor store and lost my w fascinating treatise on need-blind financial aid, whichvalent iswould essentially be, let’ as systemsay I w of admitting students regardless of whether or not they can actually pay their tuition. The equi , by instituting this wanted to buy another bottle of tequila, the store-owner would understand my need and give me something they call a “tequila scholarship,” as opposed to threatening to call the cops, which is whatgardless really of happened.their social Basically class. Since the history of system, Tufts would be guaranteeing that students could chug tequila re society is the history of class struggle, I figured this would be an important contribution to the diverse community versifyof diverse the ufts community. students in the T th ufts community met in an attempt to greaterork dito achieve a , October 29 , various members of the T ,” asks the administration to “w Then, on Thursday y Voices, Building Community ” Unfortunately, Tufts population. The program, titled “Man ork on need-blind admission. ve of the US population as a whole” and to “w , would give out about four hundred and student body that is representati -store owner, during the course of a day ve no money, get caught in this means that, let’s say, the average liquor ifty or so people would pretend to ha ” while another nine hundred and f fifty “tequila scholarships, a lie, and end up having to fork over the sticker price. I had my number-crunchers do the math, and we figured that everything would work out fine, except that the price of Cuervo Gold would rise to about twelve hundred dollars for a handle bottle, and uy anything smaller? ufts student, to ask that you consider donating a small amount who’d want to b ll receive a photo in the mail of Which is why I’m writing you, the proud parent of a T , of money to fund scholarships for needy students. After you agree to sponsor a student, you’ ,” who told wed by monthly updates and occasional letters informing you yof Voices, his progress. Building Or Community something. Actually your student, follo wing the advice of the folks at “Man .” Anyway, “ask” is the wrong word, but I’m sort of follo ord “mandatory” when we really mean “mandatory us to avoid making programs seem “mandatory” by using the w ve the poverty line. As representing the US here’s the fine print. as $25,598, or $9,548 abo verty, the average paid tuition for the The per capita income in the US in 1997 w ant to force anyone into po w a top priority, and we certainly do not w as $23,908 per student. This population is no , the average tuition paid in 1997 w ail to pay. For this, we incoming class will be less than $10,000. Unfortunately would require us to find another source of income for the $14,360 each of the 1,451 incoming students f ou ufts’ revenue is generated each year by tuition dollars.ou Almost and your sixty families percent must of the help. current Y come to you. Almost two-thirds of T ving financial aid. Y Tufts population, totaling approximately 2,123 people, are not recei must make up the difference. This lump sum, totaling over $20.8 million, will mean a slight tuition increaseiolence. of about” And $9,500, please give or take. ufts University, c/o the Coalition for Social Justice andt anyNon-V other options out there. Please make your check out to “T t mean there aren’ . Just because you don’t have a choice doesn’ remember that it isn’t mandatory

Sincerely, Ignatius Melvin Bernstein

I. Melvin Bernstein, Vice-President

14 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 families as militant extremists—is an apalling indicator of how absurd the process Netanyahu and Arafat put aside their differences, and Bibi has become. The world forgot too quickly surrenders the crucial element of conservative diplomacy. how recently Arafat fought for his cause by blowing up busloads of schoolchildren. Apparently this history was not foremost on Bill Clinton’s mind when he praised Arafat Shalom Through Strength “for decades and decades and decades of tireless representation of the longing of the Palestinian people to be free, self-sufficient, and at home,” a comment all but ignored by BY KEITH LEVENBERG the American media. umerous billboards stand proudly It is perhaps a praiseworthy achieve- Nor should one expect that sordid era of Nthroughout Palestinian-controlled ter- ment that the current controversy is being PLO history to end simply because Arafat ritory in Israel which betray the extremism fought in the court of public opinion and has managed to whitewash his image. Just and fundamentalism that still fester beneath not on a battlefield. Unfortunately, Israel is last week Palestinian guerillas opened fire the rhetoric of terrorist-turned-statesman losing. It doesn’t help matters that the main- on Israeli Defense Force soldiers pursuing a Yasser Arafat. One design shows a trium- stream media continues to demonize indi- Palestinian suicide bomber who had at- phant Arafat superimposed over a photo- viduals who argue in good conscience that tempted to demolish a bus transporting forty graph of the Old City of Jerusalem, with the Israel has given up too much in the “peace schoolchildren between the ages of 6 and Wailing Wall and the Temple Mount in the process.” An anchor on left-wing mainstay 13. Arafat, more likely bowing to public background. The slogan, scrawled over the CNN announced that Netanyahu would pressure rather than any newfound humani- image in blood-red Arabic, reads, “We will likely face criticism upon his return home tarian concerns, acted relatively swiftly in never surrender our dream of Jerusalem.” from “extremists” in his party. Even Rupert disciplining Hamas, the Islamic fundamen- Until the latest “peace” summit in Murdoch’s “fair and balanced” Fox News talist terrorist organization responsible for Maryland, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Network, reporting on a non-violent dem- untold brutalities against the Israeli people. Netanyahu was the only force standing be- onstration against the latest agreement, la- Unfortunately, however, the problem of ter- tween Arafat and further expansion of Pales- beled the protestors “militant West Bank rorism will not be solved just because the tinian territory inside the Jewish state. settlers.” PLO Authority has placed a few dozen sav- Netanyahu recognized that the PLO’s true That the conventional wisdom now ages under house arrest. Prior to Wye, Israeli motivation was the destruction of Israel and regards Yasser Arafat as a man of peace— security forces would often apprehend a that Arafat would try to accomplish through and Israelis hoping to preserve their home- terrorist and discover their suspect to be diplomacy what he could not accomplish land and the safety of themselves and their someone the PA had arrested only a few through war: to choke the nation out of existence. It seems clear that regardless of his agreement to remove the segments of the PA charter calling for Israel’s destruction this remains the Palestinians’ true motiva- tion: why else would they continue to de- mand land from Israel but not Jordan, whose territory also fell within the borders of the British colony of Palestine? Moreover, the Palestinians fail the clas- sic capitalist test first articulated by British philosopher John Locke to determine the rightful owner of property: land belongs to whomever labors on it and increases its value. When one considers the sprawling cities that have sprung up out of nowhere since Israel’s independence in 1948 and its agricultural dedication that has made “the desert bloom,” as David ben Gurion pledged, combined with the slums in shambles that define the Palestinians’ takings, there is no question to whom the land of Israel right- fully belongs. This is to say nothing of its historical provenance with the Jewish people for the last several thousand years.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 15 weeks earlier. It seems that Arafat’s attempt its miscarriage of justice in the Pollard case continues to unconstitutionally confine one at a banana republic isn’t very vigilant long ago; the facts unquestionably justify a of its national heroes behind bars, away about keeping terrorists behind bars. As commutation of his sentence or even execu- from the country he loved which he was Netanyahu tellingly announced to his col- tive clemency. Pollard serves a life sentence eager to sacrifice his life to defend. leagues at the summit, “Commitments are on a charge for which the average time Perhaps Netanyahu could have learned not compliance.” Arafat’s track record con- served is two to four years. Even more de- something from Pollard’s courage. It has sists of continued demands of more land and plorable, the crime for which the judge sen- been argued that Israel has no right to dic- resources from Israel while he remains ut- tenced him is not the crime for which he was tate terms to the United States. It should also terly unwilling to live up to his end of the convicted. Then-Secretary of Defense and be noted that the United States has no right bargain. Iran-Contra villain Caspar Weinberger had to dictate terms to Israel. It isn’t Americans Equally two-faced is the United States’s authored a memo to the sentencing judge who die when relaxed security procedures hypocrisy in its eagerness to forgive and outlining secret charges against Pollard and land concessions let terrorists roam free, forget Palestinian terrorism while it contin- about which his counsel had no knowledge. and it isn’t Americans who live with the ues to maintain Pollard had pled constant worry that a terrorist attack, ran- grudges against each etanyahu and guilty to a crime un- dom stabbing, or act of sabotage can occur and every Israeli in- N der a plea bargain anywhere without notice. It is easy to speak discretion. More Israel’s American “allies” with the understand- of peace when one does not have to suffer than enough evi- should follow the example ing that the judge the consequences of weakness. dence exists of would sentence him Instead of striving for peace at any cost, Arafat’s personal set by Ronald Reagan for that charge; to Netanyahu and Israel’s American “allies” complicity in the during the Cold War: sentence him for should follow the example set by Ronald PLO’s murder of the something else is Reagan during the Cold War: peace through US ambassador to peace through strength. self-evidently un- strength. Americans live today without fear Sudan in 1973 to constitutional, not of a nuclear missile falling in the heartland warrant an extradition to the US and an to mention duplicitous. As his wife argued because he came to the negotiating table assassination trial; instead President Clinton in an open letter to the United States, “Who unwilling to sacrifice even a tiny fragment considers Arafat a guest of honor. Mean- plea-bargains for a life sentence?” of his country’s interests. Eventually, the while, the double-dealing Commander-in- The most compelling detail, however, Soviets came to understand that they had to Chief maintains a hardline position on the is the fact that the intelligence Pollard sup- offer the United States something real, last- US’s 14-year imprisonment of Israeli patriot plied from the US Navy to the Israeli govern- ing, and valuable, or Reagan would just Jonathan Pollard, dismissing Netanyahu’s ment was information the United States had walk away. This relationship enabled pleas for clemency with an insincere prom- agreed to provide to Israel and then covertly Reagan to negotiate historic arms-reduc- ise to “review the case.” One wonders who refused to deliver. Among other things, the tion agreements without sacrificing a bit of could expect Netanyahu and Arafat to reach documents contained information about the US military’s effectiveness while the a fair and reasonable agreement when the Iraq’s development of nuclear weapons and Soviets slipped, as Reagan predicted, onto “mediators” play favorites as unabashedly chemical warfare which it intended to use “the ash-heap of history.” as Clinton does. against Israel. Pollard only shared the knowl- It was with the expectation that In fact, the Pollard affair is emblematic edge clandestinely after failing to obtain Netanyahu would act in a similar way and of Netanyahu’s diplomatic failure through- permission to do so formally, pleas to which reverse the dangerous pattern of conces- out the Wye summit. Not long after the Navy officials responded unconscionably sions begun by his predecessors that his Israeli prime minister discussed the matter with comments to the effect that Jews get Likud Party sailed to victory. Now that with Clinton, the American public had al- paranoid whenever somebody mentions many ideologues in his party feel he has ready gobbled the media spin: Pollard is a poison gas. betrayed his ideals, Bibi should look back dangerous spy who compromised American In the end, Pollard’s “espionage” ended to his own statement of principle comparing interests, Netanyahu was audacious in spring- up devestating Iraq’s nuclear hopes and the situation in the Mid-East to the US’s ing it on Clinton in the eleventh hour, no- saving countless lives during the SCUD predicament during the Cold War: “The body has the right to dictate terms to the missile attacks of the Gulf War—attacks necessary mutual concessions took place United States, et cetera, ad infinitum, ad against which, it is worth noting, the United only when a firmer government, a firmer nauseum. Contrary to the conventional States successfully pressured Israel not to policy was installed…. Those governments wisdom, however, the case for Pollard’s re- retaliate. Without Pollard’s advance warn- that pursue peace at any price pay a very lease is strong and defensible, and ings, the nation would not have been able to high price indeed, and do not get peace…. Netanyahu’s diplomatic error was not in the prepare for the bombardment Iraq intended And those governments that pursue peace manner he introduced the proposal but in to unleash upon defenseless civilians. As prudently and stand on their security and his failure to stand behind it. Far from a last- such, Netanyahu was fully within his their vital interests are the ones that ulti- minute surprise, Netanyahu had announced rights— and long overdue in his concerns— mately attain this peace.” as far back as mid-September that he planned to petition Clinton for Pollard’s release, on pleading Pollard’s case before Clinton. because the United States should not be Mr. Levenberg is a senior majoring in The United States should have rectified considered a friend of Israel as long as it Philosophy and minoring in English.

16 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 With competitors offering financial incentives, whom we compete clearly recognize merit- based aid as a vital part of constructing a why should a dedicated student become a Jumbo? superior incoming class. Tufts’ administra- tion maintains confidence in the fact that we will be able to keep up our faltering aca- Everyone Says demic reputation and our precarious posi- tion in the US News rankings. However, our admissions procedures lack the capacity to I Love You recognize academic and extracurricular achievement, an ability which would make BY ALYSSA HEUMANN students choose Tufts over its competitors. Top students’ high-school years were a he recent rallying around the need-blind budget under control and act in a fiscally time of hard work and dedication both in Tadmissions cause has set many Jumbos responsible manner. In light of these priori- and out of the classroom. Although a higher against Bendetson Hall. The contention ties, the clearest way for Tufts to maintain its percentage of students are participating in appears to be that if other top-tier schools objectives would be through merit-based the college-application process, the num- can offer need-blind admissions, Tufts aid. Although many are quick to oppose the ber of truly superlative students in the world should follow suit. Pro-need-blind activists granting of monies based on scholastic and doesn’t expand. Schools must continue to maintain that the quality of student at Tufts extra-curricular aptitude, consider the mes- compete for exceptional applicants who can only increase if financial abilities are no sage our current aid system sends to would- will hopefully become first-class students longer a factor in admissions acceptances. be Tufts students. Instead of rewarding schol- in a university environment. Although Tufts In the latest issue of Unite, the publication arship, leadership, and community service, doesn’t have the seemingly unlimited fi- of the Coalition for Social Justice and Non- we are rewarding economic disadvantage. If nancial resources of many of its close com- Violence, the article on need-blind admis- Tufts’ real priority is to accept and matricu- petitors, it does have the ability as an insti- sions is titled, “Where Are Our Priorities?” late the highest quality student, the admis- tution to ensure the continuing quality of its A handful of students gathered to protest the sions office should have no problem putting incoming class. Until Tufts can properly hundred-thousand-dollar patio at its rib- its money where its goals are. reward students for their abilities, they can bon-cutting ceremony, citing financial aid Tufts’ reputation as the “Ivy League all but count on losing the cream of the as a far better use for the TCU senate surplus. dumping ground” reflects Admissions’ re- application crop to the Harvards and Emorys This convocation around the need-blind fusal to reach out to superlative students of the world. admissions cause is not only limited to and offer them an extra incentive to enroll. Walnut Hill; cries for need-blind admis- Instead, many excellent students have their Miss Heumann is a sophomore majoring in sions can be heard at Brown, Yale, Vassar, applications rejected Psychology and Child Development. and other top-tier schools. due to lack of finan- However, due to financial limitations cial resources, or ac- and Tufts’ meager endowment, the possibil- cept more generous of- ity of such a policy being enacted in the near fers from other well- future seems almost nil. If one was moti- reputed schools. At vated to look into the history of Tufts’ the University of financial aid, he would find that Tufts was Rochester, one of the required to abandon its policy of need- fastest-rising educa- blind admissions in 1990 due to overwhelm- tional institutions, a ing financial constraints. Although need- student may be offered blind admissions is indeed a goal to which a five thousand dollar many lefties can aspire, a more practical grant per semester for plan must be employed which will help to his SAT score alone. alleviate the current perceived pre-occupa- At the University of tion with economic privilege. Claims of Michigan, financial unfairness are not the real issue, Vanderbilt, Carnegie- however, although one could argue that the Mellon, Emory, Rice, free market will take care of rising college the University of Chi- costs. Instead, a new method of allocating cago, and Washing- financial aid is a worthwhile consideration. ton University in St. An institution of higher learning such Louis, a plethora of as Tufts has only one clear option when merit-based awards considering the distribution of financial are available to high- aid. The school wishes to attract the highest quality students. quality student while managing to keep its These schools with

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 17 come therefrom on Form 1040.” Further- Every year Americans succumb to more, according to the National Office of government fraud... and pay their income taxes. the IRS, the required form for a citizen is not the 1040, but the Form 2555, which is titled “Foreign Earned Income.” It also states on the 2555 to attach the form on top of the 1040. In other words, the 1040 form was The Taxman Cometh intended only for people with foreign in- come. In all actuality, the 1040 is a supple- ment to the 2555, another form for which most Americans are not liable. BY J ACOB H ALBROOKS All of this still does not answer the “Our federal tax system is, in short, utterly individual’s liability. This may lead to the question of what the IRS is and who created impossible, utterly unjust and completely question of what exactly that 1040 Ameri- it. Title 31 of the US code, Money and counterproductive. [It] reeks with injustice cans fill out each year is, swearing that Finance, includes the Department of Trea- and is fundamentally un-American.… It has everything claimed therein is accurate at sury, of which both the IRS and the Bureau earned a rebellion and it’s time we rebelled.” the risk of perjury. An examination of this of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms claim to —Ronald Reagan, May, 1983, question requires some background infor- be subdivisions. However, neither of these Williamsburg, VA mation concerning how government agen- organizations are officially listed under the cies are created and how federal laws are Department of Treasury. In fact, they do not veryone takes paying taxes for granted. organized. A federal government agency seem to exist anywhere. Upon further re- EMost people just assume that they owe can only be created by the Constitution or search, one will find that the IRS was created a ‘fair share’ of money to the government to by legislative action of Congress. Since for insular possessions where Congress has keep programs up and running. Although a nowhere in the Constitution is the IRS men- near-absolute power. Definitions in the US dangerous socialist idea, the myth persists tioned, one might assume that Congress Code for such terms as “revenue agent,” that individual citizens have a federal in- passed a legislative act creating it. How- “state,” and “citizen” as related to internal come tax liability. Everyone loves to com- ever, no one has ever found this elusive act, revenue can only link the terms to territories plain about the hassle of filling out those for which there are hefty rewards offered by of the United States and not to the actual 1040s, risking possible audits by the Inter- anti-tax ideologues. states, where the IRS and BATF hold no nal Revenue Service, and giving their hard- Furthermore, all federal laws are printed jurisdiction. earned money to the government, but few in the United States Code under fifty differ- With the knowledge that the income people bother to research what authority the ent titles. Included in these are Title 26, the tax is essentially an unconstitutional vol- IRS has and what law states that individuals Internal Rev- untary tax, one must pay the tax. In truth, not only is the enue Code, might ask why federal income tax unconstitutional, but and Title 31, everyone con- there is no law in existence which states that Money and Fi- tinues to be- people must pay it. nance. The In- lieve it is man- When arguing that a federal income tax ternal Rev- datory. The is unconstitutional, many quickly point to enue Code government the Sixteenth Amendment, which states, gives the tax keeps the truth “The Congress shall have power to lay and liabilities for about the tax collect taxes on incomes.” However, in 1916, all parties and and the origins the Supreme Court held in Stanton vs. Bal- activities. For of such terror- tic Mining, that the Sixteenth Amendment example, ist organiza- grants Congress “no new power of taxa- someone in- tions as the IRS tion.” The amendment holds no weight be- volved in and BATF cause it did not repeal Article 1, Section 2, trusts, gifts, al- closely Clause 3 or Article 1, Section 9, Clause 4 of cohol production, or any other number of guarded, and these groups use whatever the Constitution, both of which unques- activities could look in the Internal Rev- means necessary to continue the myth. In tionably prohibit Congress from directly enue Code to find what he owed. However, the end, people find it is just easier to pay the taxing a US citizen. (This would include a nowhere does the code make individual IRS and get them off their backs than to do national sales tax.) The Sixteenth Amend- citizens liable for an income tax. Wonder- a little homework and stand up for their ment was written in order to create the illu- ing what that 1040 form is all about? Ob- rights. Fortunately, however, further inves- sion that people can be taxed directly by the serve the Treasury Department’s Decision tigation can shine some light on the subject. government. 2313 issued on March 21, 1916, which Not only is the income tax unconstitu- states, “The responsible heads, agents, or Mr. Halbrooks is a freshman tional, but Congress has never made any representatives of nonresident aliens... shall who has not yet declared a major. legislative action proclaiming an make a full and complete return of the in-

18 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 At Tufts, the Republicans have discovered that tivities have been bipartisan efforts in con- junction with Tufts Democrats. The two diversity includes only various shades of liberal. organizations have created a voter-registra- tion drive, written pamphlets on candidates running in local elections to increase voter Endangered awareness, and organized transportation to the voting booths for Tufts students. In the future, an open discussion of the myths Species about Republicans will be held, to be fol- lowed by a panel discussion on the Clinton sex scandal and affirmative action. Last BY JOSHUA MARTINO week, Zaki helped to organize the “Many ufts Republicans leader Irene Zaki is a practiced by the university’s most impor- Voices, Building Community” forum to Trare individual. On Tufts’ ultra-liberal tant leaders. address politics and diversity. Working with campus, she actually applauds Ronald The Republicans have met other unfor- the Coalition for Social Justice and Non- Reagan, thinks Kenneth Starr is anything tunate “coincidental” obstacles. An an- Violence, Zaki intended to widen the focus but reprehensible, and flinches at the men- nouncement in the Daily that Zaki requested of discussion at the latest forum, citing the tion of local pol Mike Capuano. A conser- be put in the opening pages of an issue was overwhelmingly liberal point of view at vative on the Hill: truly an uncommon sight printed on the twenty-sixth page. During a earlier meetings. In addition, the Republi- outside the PRIMARY S OURCE recent visit to Tufts by cans have organized visits from local GOP production room. Madeleine Albright, candidates such as Phil Hyde, Republican Ms. Zaki and several **PROFILE** groups like the Tufts candidate for the Somerville 8th Congres- of those who share her po- Democrats were invited sional district. litical views are the few, Irene Zaki to attend, but not the Re- Through her work with the Tufts Re- but proud, members of the Tufts Republicans Chairman publicans. Still, Zaki is publicans, Zaki wants to increase tolerance Tufts Republicans. De- not about to claim she is of unpopular political views at Tufts. spite being surrounded by the victim of a vast left- Whether or not they are Republicans, Zaki Tufts’ overwhelmingly liberal population, wing conspiracy. “Anyone with dissenting, hopes that opponents of the vocal left wing the Republicans have existed on campus for non-liberal views suffers such close- will not be discouraged from discussing many years. After a period of virtual inactiv- mindedness. Even moderates,” Zaki noted. their political views openly. She urges ity on campus last year, the organization is “People think there is no middle ground people who disagree with the university’s re-committing itself to promoting Grand between the SOURCE and the left. There really political majority to voice their opinions. “I Old Party politics, no matter how coldly is very little diversity of thought [at Tufts].” just hope I can show the campus that conser- they are received. “Tufts’ campus is defi- Opposition to right-wing politics can- vatives and Republicans are every bit as nitely liberal,” Zaki said. “Yet a liberal not be the only reason conservative thought valid as liberals and Democrats at Tufts,” campus does not mean a tolerant campus.” is so taboo on college campuses today. Zaki said. A recent Tufts Daily profile of the club Leftists accuse conservatives of simply ac- mentioned the problems the Republicans cepting the past without consideration and Mr. Martino is a freshman have experienced while struggling to do shunning change whenever possible. Zaki who has not yet declared a major. what nearly every other student group ac- is certain that the Tufts complishes effortlessly: create chalk adver- faculty has advanced tisements. Even though Zaki clearly de- this misconception. On scribes the strong opposition to her group, several occasions she has the Daily article carried a dubious headline had a professor tell her which proclaimed, “Republicans Thrive on class that conservatives Left-Wing Campus.” How can an organiza- “take tradition for what tion be thriving when leftist goons erase it is and do not challenge their chalk ads within hours? According to traditional roles.” Zaki Zaki, Republicans, and conservative believes conservatism is thought in general, are not thriving at Tufts. borrowing what was ef- Indeed, if posters for Onyx were torn down, fective in the past and the vandals would be considered racist. If incorporating these be- the tasteless sexual messages outside Bush liefs in current politics. Hall were erased on National Coming Out The Tufts Republi- Day, the TTLGBC would be in an uproar. cans’ major concern is to Yet, the censure of Tufts Republicans is reestablish themselves simply overzealous liberalism, a habit not on campus. The Repub- only condoned on the Tufts campus but licans’ most recent ac-

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 19 spend theirs. But this attitude is a bit unfair; Your unknown class council is a after all, the senate has to think of all the positive alternative to an inept senate. groups it must fund, as well as any emergen- cies that may arise, while councils need only think of themselves and what they can accomplish specifically for their classes. The Strong, Still, it is hard to justify the senate’s miserly attitude towards its heap of cash— espe- cially since the interest it earns will prob- Silent Type ably be spent on future classes that didn’t put in the original money in the first place. BY LEW TITTERTON Even more extensive activities are planned uge budgets and seemingly great minds by each class’s council. by the senior class council, which puts its all Hare not always a terrific combination. Of course, the senate’s jackassery can into such events as Pub Night and Senior Witness The Avengers, or, on a campus be contagious, and this year’s sophomore Week. level, the TCU senate. Theoretically our council appeared to catch a rather virulent There is a scandalous amount of glam- best and brightest, the senate’s members strain when it handed out misspelled our in being a senator, stretching all the way have done nothing but disappoint for as “Homcoming” cups during the football from seeing one’s name in print in a college long as I have been a Jumbo, and from what team’s appearance on the field. It is some- newspaper to appearing within the glossy I’ve heard, long before then as well. But for what consoling to know that half the money pages of, well, Glamour. For some, this pub- those who are fed up with the senate and see spent on these Observer-esque cups has lic spotlight encourages greatness and rising no alternative, one does exist: the class been refunded, but it would have been better to the occasion. But for too many politicians, councils. These little-known and sparsely- had the whole sadly comical incident been especially relatively naïve college ones, the attended bodies do more good than twenty- avoided. fame, however minor it may be, blinds them five senate windbags, no matter how many Naturally, the senate is doing every- from their real job: doing what is best for their more pictures the latter might have of them- thing within its grasp to overshadow the cup peers, not what is best for their makeshift selves in the Daily. debacle with its own stupidity and arro- careers. Class councilmen, on the other hand, Why have you probably never heard of gance. One recent example of both occurred know that there is no prospect of minor the class councils? It’s not because they when sophomore class council member celebrity and therefore can get things done don’t do anything; rather, they do it quietly, Zachary Bromer was rudely confronted by without such distractions. without the headline-grabbing, obnoxious fellow sophomore and senator Mark Lipson flare of many senators. In fact, I came to a recently. Lipson announced that the then- Mr. Titterton is a sophomore who meeting of my class’s council just to see freshmen council hadn’t handed in a budget has not yet declared a major. what is was about, and found so few people last year and therefore couldn’t that I was able to join immediately. In theory hope to receive any buffer fund- the councils are elected— but with fewer ing. Bromer still insists that students than spots, becoming a member is the paperwork was turned in, rarely a problem. It doesn’t say much for but he can’t be right— after all, Tuftonian democracy that council walk- we know the senate isn’t ca- ons usually do a better job than their elected pable of losing anyone’s bud- senate counterparts, but we can take comfort get. in the fact that some form of student govern- Lipson’s unproven claim ment at Tufts actually works. hasn’t crushed the sophomore The class councils have sizeable bud- class council, however. In the gets that range from $5,000 for freshmen works are a trip to the nearby and sophomores up into five figures for the Omni Theater for an IMAX pre- upper classes. While no Jumbo would scoff sentation and, next semester, a at ten grand, such cash is practically trivial proposed journey to Montreal. compared to the hundreds of thousands being Unfortunately, with limited hoarded by the senate. And yet, in many funding, these trips will have ways, the class councils get more done. to be paid for almost entirely Take, for example, the freshman midnight from ticket sales, which may cruise on Boston Harbor— an event that has prove inconvenient for those been so successful that it is on the verge of who are tight on cash yet still becoming an annual occurrence for each want to come. freshman class. Or the ski trip by last year’s It’s tempting to lambaste sophomore class or any number of other the senate for holding onto activities currently in the works for this year money while class councils

20 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 A family tradition breaks common horror stories about government waste, such a man on Medicaid who re- through the stereotypes. ceived penis enlargement surgery, didn’t follow his doctor’s directions, and had to go through the process again. This and many Re-thinking similar stories make one question the mo- tives of a social welfare system. My mother went into social work to help people who are Conservatism not as fortunate as her only to come home many times from work frustrated with indi- viduals who won’t even help themselves. BY ALIZA LIPSCHITZ For the most part, my grandparents are hen people think of conservatives, the poor, which should be an optional dona- more liberal than my parents, and some- Wthey usually revert to the stereotype tion, not a mandatory one. He then fumed times they don’t understand how they can of folks named Muffy playing polo at the with anger at the notion that financial aid have a son like my father. Yet the most country club, sipping tea, and boasting a also gets carried over if a student goes abroad, extreme cases have even caused my grand- family tree dating back to the Civil War. making something of a paid vacation. Yet parents to question their liberal views. Sev- However, such is no longer the case. Conser- his extreme talk is just a reaction to what has eral years ago, when black leaders like Louis vative thought has evolved greatly across been dished out to him. For the most part, Farrakhan and Khallid Abdul Muhammud many generations of American families, a when I sit down and have an intellectual directed hate speech against the Jewish change reflected on college campuses, discussion with him, he is rather open- people, my grandfather stopped donating which serve as microcosms of the country at minded. He does recognize that financial money to the National Association for the large. aid is wonderful for those who otherwise Advancement of Colored People. After years I recently discovered that my great- would not gain a private-school quality of considering the NAACP a necessary insti- grandparents were socialists and Commu- education. Armed with an elite education, tution for improving racial tensions in nists. The news shocked me greatly, and I one can go places otherwise difficult to America, my grandfather withdrew his check wondered how they would feel knowing reach, minimizing wealth inequalities and when no one he supported for years came to that their grandchildren are strong believers contributing something back to the society. defend his people. in capitalism and the free market. Truth be That one can no longer receive a decent My family’s reaction to these changes known, my mother is not entirely conserva- public education also angers my family. My in American society represents a political tive; she is, after all, a social worker. But my father is upset that his alma mater, City shift from the past, but at the same time father is a staunch right-winger who spouts University of New York, is no longer repu- seems what any sensible person would do. conservative propaganda about everything table, like it was in his day. And my first Conservatives no longer fit the image of he encounters, from his discomfort with the semester at Tufts cost more than my father’s Laura Ashley-style WASPs with family lines too-public habits of my brother’s gay room- four years of college and three years of law dating back to the Mayflower. Conserva- mate to his view that colleges should offer school combined. Similarly, my mother’s tive thought is growing and for many it is the financial aid only in the form of merit schol- parents could not afford to send her to the only logical reaction to the inefficiencies arships. school she wanted to go to. Now, need- and inconsistencies of modern society. When I was applying to colleges my based aid hikes college costs while enabling father realized that more often than not many to go to far more expensive schools. Miss Lipschitz, observations editor of financial aid creates a Robin Hood effect, As a social worker, her conservative The Observer, is a junior majoring where money is taken from the rich to pay for instinct kicks in when she hears all-too- in Quantitative Economics.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 21 ...TCU.SENATE.UPDATE...TCU.SENATE.UPDATE...TCU.SENATE.UPDATE...TCU.SENATE.UPDATE...TCU.SENATE.UPDATE... tended Homecoming block party. Dare one ALBO finally begins to master attribute the ease with which the IGC won the fine art of subtraction. this request to the fact that its president, Jeff Steiner, is a former senator? Groups which siphon away $11,000 during the course of a few hours don’t seem any wiser an alloca- Deconstructing the tion of precious funds than the patio. Many students didn’t even know of the party’s existence, and many of those who showed Budget Shutdown up were quick to leave after grabbing a hot dog. Schnirman, who was not in attendance, BY CRAIG WALDMAN however, maintains that the money was well- he TCU senate’s allocations board is senate is so afraid of funding these new spent, opining, “It’s good to spend money Tfinally getting a taste of its own medi- groups. With self-discipline and a little cre- on a high-impact event.” (Evidently “high- cine. The organization that treats student ativity, ALBO could fix its problems easily. impact” is anything with better attendance go-getters like four-year olds now faces the The money paid into the student-ac- than senate meetings.) The $11,000 spent consequences of its own lack of fiscal disci- tivities fee must be used, and it must be used that Friday afternoon could have been pline. Frightened by the prospect of only to fund clubs. Students do not fork over this awarded to new and existing clubs with posessing $255,000 in the TCU budget sur- fee to have senators horde the money: it is legitimate needs that would have used it to plus, ALBO has decided to shut down its solely for club and student-activities use. contribute to the community all year long. funding activities for a month to “think Now that ALBO recognizes the conse- Both Schnirman and Harris were reluc- about the direction of the budget.” With quences of reckless spending, the PRIMARY tant to disclose how much of the decisions $255,000 in surplus, $35,000 spent on buffer SOURCE and the other thousand-plus stu- ALBO makes over the next three weeks will funding, and $14,000 spent on capital ex- dents who protested the funding of the cam- be public knowledge with the public’s in- penditures, ALBO worries that it won’t have pus-center patio before the TCU senate have put. Of course, any admission that the sys- enough cash on hand to dispense to “spe- been vindicated. That $100,000 could eas- tem is being changed is a hit to the senate’s cial” projects next semester. ily have funded a flurry of new groups or excessive hubris. But students can only ALBO needs to do some major re-think- even gone most of the way to covering large hope that the senators and ALBO members ing, but not only about how to horde money capital-expenditure requests from campus will take this chance to decide that the for its own pet projects. The current system mainstays like Film Series and TUTV. Stu- student-activities fee is for the fair disburse- of allocating funds is dictatorial and fol- dent organizations most certainly take pre- ment to all campus groups and not for their lows no rational pattern, with those who cedence over campus renovations, for which own pet projects— or even their friends’ pet ingratiate themselves to ALBO council the university ought to pick up the tab. projects. chairs finding sought-after senate funds Harris came close to conceding this point in much easier to come by than those who his admission that perhaps the money “could Mr. Waldman is a sophomore don’t. There are no rules or viable checks have been put towards a better expendi- majoring in History. and balances governing ALBO’s decisions, ture.” and most group leaders exit their weekly Even in meetings with chills climbing up their earmarking spines. ALBO should dedicate its month- TCU funds long breather to figuring out more reason- for student able ways to work with campus groups in groups, one achieving their goals; after all, it is ALBO’s hesitates to responsibility to work with student groups, conclude not against them. Too often, the senate and that the sena- ALBO see their role as tyrannical gate-keep- tors have ers rather than a body charged with “the fair done so ob- allocation of the student activities fee.” jectively. TCU president Jack Schnirman and The Inter- TCU treasurer Larry Harris both claim that Greek Coun- ALBO will dedicate the break solely to re- cil recently assessing the amount of money available took home for use. Both contend that with so many new an enormous groups starting up on campus, they must buffer-fund- figure out new ways to disperse money. But ing prize of with over two hundred grand in the surplus nearly and a consistent growth of more than $11,000 for $100,000 annually, one wonders why the its poorly at- Jack Schnirman and Larry Harris

22 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 Tellius whatiyou really think. The PRIMARY SOURCE Course Evaluation Guide is coming. And it’s the only place on campus where you can read honest, uncensored reviews of the best— and worst— that Tufts has to offer.

Got something to say and want people to listen? Send us your honest 50- to 250- word reviews of notable courses, professors, and departments. And don’t pull any punches.

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THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOVEMBER 5, 1998 23 THE PRIMARY SOURCE NON-PROFIT ORG. Mayer Campus Center U.S. POSTAGE PAID Tufts University BOSTON, MA Medford, MA 02155 PERMIT NO. 56885

NOTABLE AND QUOTABLE Avoid making things seem “mandatory” or calling Never offend people with style when you can offend Canada: a few acres of snow. them so in talking about how to foster increased them with substance. —Voltaire community/diversity/integration. —Sam Brown —TCU senator Mike Weissman, Never attribute to malice that which is adequately summarizing an idea offered at “Many Voices, Building The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing explained by stupidity. Community” of blessings; the inherent vice of socialism is the equal —Hanlon’s Razor sharing of miseries. Should there be a required course on intolerant/ —Winston Churchill We will always remember. We will always be proud. bigotry. Professor Brown in the dept. of German, We will always be prepared, so we may always be free. Russian and Asian languages is looking into this. If Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs —Ronald Reagan you are interested, talk to him or talk to other faculty become prohibitive. members and ask them to support his goal. —William F. Buckley, Jr. A government of laws, and not of men. —TCU senator Mike Weissman, —John Adams summarizing another idea offered at “Many Voices, A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. Building Community” —General George S. Patton Diplomacy and defense are not substitutes for one another. Either alone would fail. If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball There’s many a bestseller that could have been —John F. Kennedy and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the prevented by a good teacher. infant’s life without even considering if there are men —Flannery O’Connor Among other evils that being unarmed brings you, on base. it causes you to be despised. —Dave Barry God is not dead. He is alive and working; working —Niccolo Machiavelli on a less ambitious project. It is a worthy thing to fight for one’s freedom; it is —Anonymous There, I guess King George will be able to read that. another sight finer to to fight for another man’s. —John Hancock —Mark Twain Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. The feminist agenda... is not about equal rights for In politics stupidity is not a handicap. —Igor Stravinsky women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political —Napoleon movement that encourages women to leave their To win without fighting is the greatest achievement husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell of a warrior. and become lesbians. the word you first thought of. —Sun Tzu —Pat Robertson —Burt Bacharach The only difference between the saint and the sinner Zero-g and feeling fine. I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a —John Glenn you because someone has printed gibberish all over future. it and put your name at the top. —Oscar Wilde I would rather have a Medal of Honor than be —unknown Ohio University English President of the United States. professor If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the —Harry Truman bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the The world is full of willing people; some willing to bureaucracy won’t. We were told our campaign wasn’t sufficiently slick. work, the rest willing to let them. —Hyman Rickover We regard that as a compliment. —Robert Frost —Margaret Thatcher On two occasions I have been asked [by members of We make war that we may live in peace. Parliament], “Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the Although he’s regurlarly asked to do so, God does —Aristotle machine wrong figures, will the right answers come not take sides in American Politics. out?” I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind —George Mitchell Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a its pupils. question. As President, I have no eyes but Constitutional eyes; —Hector Berlioz —Charles Babbage I cannot see you. —Abraham Lincoln If you owe the bank a hundred dollars, that’s your I would say that a buzz-saw blade between the guy’s problem. If you owe the bank a hundred million legs on the album cover is good indication that it’s Justice is the end of government. It is the end of dollars, that’s the bank’s problem. not for little Johnny. society. —J. Paul Getty —Frank Zappa —James Madison