Pauline Friedman Phillips, Better Known As Legendary Advice Columnist 'Dear Abby'
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NEWS Friday, February 15, 2013 The Australian Jewish New s – jewishnews.net.au 15 The late Pauline Friedman Phillips aka advice columnist Abigail Van Buren. endings Pauline Friedman Phbillips, bettber known ays legenda ry Aadvice columnist ‘Dear Abby’, passed away aged 94 last month. Alexandra Roach takes a look at her life and legacy. HE American Dream. The Within a few hours, Phillips was idea that in America, through handing her completed work to a sur - sheer hard work, anyone can prised Arnold. Telling her he’d look make their fortune. It has over her writing and call her, Phillips Tinspired immigration to the returned home to find the phone USA from far and wide since the 17th ringing. Impressed with her writing, century as people sought a better life. Arnold hired her on the spot. The child of Ukrainian-Jewish Despite attending university, at 37 immigrants, Pauline Friedman Phillips had no real work experience; Phillips was born Pauline Esther she didn’t even have a social security show – which aired from 1963 to her sister’s failure to mention she was Phillips built, was and remains a pop - Friedman in Iowa on July 4, 1918. number. But what she did have was a 1975 – Phillips tackled controversial starting her own advice column, ular culture phenomenon which has America’s Independence Day cer - natural flair for writing and a talent topics like abortion, AIDS and mental especially one which became such been referenced in everything from tainly seems a fitting birthdate for the for delivering witty one-liners full of illness, and was an advocate for the direct and fierce competition for “Ask movies to political cartoons. creator of an American institution: sound, common-sense advice. rights of women, the gay community Ann Landers”. In 1964, “Dear Abby” wrote, “The the “Dear Abby” newspaper advice Instead of taking on the identity of and people with disabilities. Perhaps unsurprisingly, when the purpose of life is to amount to some - column which, for more than 50 the previous advice columnist – a “Whenever I say a kind word animosity became public, readers thing and have it make some differ - years, dispensed witty and compas - syndicated column written by about gays, I hear from people,” couldn’t get enough: readership and ence that you lived at all.” sionate advice on life’s troubles, often Denver-based journalist Frances Phillips said in 1998. “People throw ... syndication numbers rose dramati - If ever there was someone who delivered in snappy one-liners. Foster under the pseudonym of parts of the Bible at me. It doesn’t cally for both columns. So intrigued took their own advice, it was Phillips, Phillips’s parents Rebecca and “Molly Mayfield” – Phillips created bother me. I’ve always been compas - was the public by the sisters’ estrange - a woman who gave others sound Abraham arrived penniless in New her own column from scratch. But sionate towards gay people.” ment, famed American magazine Life advice for a living. York City in 1905, just two of hun - first, she needed a name. If a letter sounded particularly ran a feature about the feud in 1958. dreds of thousands of Jews fleeing The estrangement reportedly came religious persecution and, in “You can’t change anyone but yourself. to an end in 1964 and Lederer later Abby’s wit and wisdom Abraham’s case, the draft. But their You’ve got to play the cards that are dealt you.” told the press “the feud was vastly pursuit of the American Dream exaggerated”. Despite this, rumours Dear Abby: About four months ago, yielded swift success: within a decade, Pauline Friedman Phillips continued the reunion was all for the house across the street was sold to a “father and son” — or so they went from having nothing to “Dear Abby” columnist show, which both sisters and their we thought. We later learned it was owning a chain of movie theatres. N the first book of Samuel, a fool - distressed or suicidal and contact spokespeople vehemently denied. an older man about 50 and a young The four Friedman daughters were ish man named Nabal is spared the details were given, Phillips would act fellow about 24. This was a well-educated; Phillips studied jour - wrath of King David due to the immediately. Y the 1990s, “Dear Abby” was respectable neighbourhood before nalism before marrying businessman Iquick thinking of his wife, Abigail, “You can feel the pain in their let - syndicated in more than 1000 this “odd couple” moved in. They Morton Phillips in 1939, with whom who advises David against killing ters,” Phillips said in 1991. “I know newspapers worldwide, reach - have all sorts of strange-looking she had son Edward and daughter Nabal, lest he be burdened by a heavy sincerity when I see it. One telephone Bing approximately 100 million company. Men who look like Jeanne. A housewife, Phillips volun - conscience when he became Israel’s call can save a life. I’m sure it has more readers every week. But by the mid- women, women who look like men, teered with the Red Cross and the blacks, whites, Indians. Yesterday I king. than once.” 1990s, Phillips had begun to show even saw two nuns go in there!... United Jewish Appeal and played Realising his error, David told But Phillips’s success brought signs of Alzheimer’s disease. Abby, these weirdos are wrecking mahjong with her girlfriends. Abigail, “Blessed is your advice and about an unexpected consequence: a In 2000, Phillips began sharing her our property values! How can we “It never occurred to me that I’d blessed are you.” family feud. “Dear Abby” byline with her daugh - improve the quality of this once- have any kind of career,” Phillips told Thus ‘Abigail’ seemed a perfect Three months before “Dear Abby” ter, Jeanne, who had been her respectable neighbourhood? — Up The Los Angeles Times in 1986. “But choice for the budding advice colum - first went to print, a woman named mother’s apprentice from the age of In Arms after I was married, I thought, ‘there nist. Phillips chose ‘Van Buren’, after Eppie Lederer won a contest to 14 when the column began. When Dear Up: You could move. has to be something more to life than the eighth president of the USA; become the new writer of The Phillips retired in 2002, the year mahjong’.” reportedly she thought it sounded Chicago Sun-Times ’s popular advice Lederer died, Jeanne took over the Dear Abby: What is the cure for a man that has been married for 33 Phillips told Larry King in an inter - “aristocratic”. column, “Ask Ann Landers”. authoring of the column, a role she years and still can’t stay away from view in 1990,“There is always an Within a few months of the col - Under Lederer, the column retains to this day. other women? — His Wife answer. You can’t change anyone but umn, titled “Dear Abby”, launching, enjoyed a surge in popularity, her Today, the column’s press syndi - Dear Wife: Rigour mortis. yourself. You’ve got to play the cards the newly-named Abigail Van Buren own witty one-liners and sage advice cate, Universal Uclick, claims the that are dealt you and you have to live had signed a syndication deal. By spurring more newspapers to syndi - column is syndicated to 1400 news - Dear Abby: I don’t want to appear with this, do the best you can.” 1961, the column was in 500 papers cate the column. papers worldwide and enjoys a daily conceited but I’m forced to admit Thirty-four years earlier, Phillips worldwide and Phillips was receiving But almost immediately following readership of 110 million. that I am one guy who has every - had taken her own advice: unim - thousands of letters every week from Abby ’s January 1956 debut, she jostled When Phillips, a giant of the print thing. Women are always flocking pressed with The San Francisco people seeking Abby’s guidance. for Ann’s place, starting a war for syn - era of media, passed away aged 94 on around me and telling me how good-looking I am and what a mar - Chronicle ’s advice column and sure While Phillips was famed for those dication rights to both columns and January 13, 2013, the news broke on velous personality I have. I’m begin - she could do better, Phillips marched amusing one-liners – when one between the columnists themselves. popular American entertainment ning to find this pretty annoying and into the offices of the paper’s editor woman asked Abby what her hus - The twist in the tale? Phillips and website TMZ.com. extremely tiring. I just want to live a and told him so. band was thinking of when he traded Lederer were identical twins. “I have lost my mother, my men - normal quiet life. How can I dissuade Unmoved, the editor – the leg - their sensible sedan for a two-seater The two women, who had married tor and my best friend,” Jeanne these hopeful females? — C.W. endary Stanleigh Arnold, who also sports car, Phillips replied, “himself” in a joint wedding ceremony, became Phillips told TMZ.com. “My mother Dear C.W.: Keep talking. discovered The Far Side cartoonist – she was serious about her work. She so competitive they didn’t speak for leaves a legacy of compassion, com - Gary Larson – gave Phillips several had an army of experts in areas as several years. mitment and positive social change. I Dear Abby: I am 44 years old and would like to meet a man my age weeks of letters to look over.