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HAPPILY EVER AFTER…or… YOU GOT TO GO WITH THE FLOW
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Cast of Characters
Women Men Either
Therapist’s receptionist Therapist
Snow White Prince Eugene Movie theater Ticket Taker (2)
Stepmother Prince Charming Old Lady’s children (elementary school choir members)*
Stepsister-Drusilla Prince Jack (from the Beanstalk)
Stepsister-Anastasia Dwarf - Sneezy
Cinderella Beast Dwarf - Dopey
Dwarf - Bashful
Rapunzel Pinocchio Dwarf - Happy
Old Lady in Shoe Geppetto Dwarf - Grumpy
Belle (Beauty) Papa Bear Dwarf - Sleepy
Goldilocks Richard Dawson Dwarf - Doc
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Mama Bear Jerry Springer Baby Bear
Thelma Mario Shoe Delivery (2)
Louise Luigi Ticket Takers (2)
Baliff
TABLE OF CONTENTS 4
Act 1 Scene 1 Opening 5
Opening Song – Let it FLOW
Opening Dance - ?
Narrator appears in front of the curtain
Narrator: Once upon a time in a far off land called Franklin Lakes, rumors spread from Ewing Avenue to High Mountain road concerning sightings of princesses and princes. (Are William and Kate in town?) Also, strange reports of wild beasts roaming the land and long-haired hippies invading the territory. If that weren’t scary enough, a munchkin convention must be in town or the Honey I shrunk the kids live tour is here. These and other fantastic fairy tale questions will be answered as we present HAPPILY EVER AFTER or JUST GO WITH THE FLOW!
Curtain opens and singers enter
Let it FLOW
Our show is on for another year Andrea
And we’re thankful you are here
For without your contributions Carmen
The scholarships disappear
We need your money, but Monica
We want your time as well
Let’s all step up and ring the bell All
We want our kids to go to school Trish
With some extra dough to foot the bill Lisa
That’s why we’ve FLOWed for all these years Janet
So now we’re clear All
LET IT FLOW, LET IT FLOW 6
Watch our energy overflow Lisa, Cheri, Peter, Jamie
LET IT FLOW, LET IT FLOW
We can’t stick with the status quo
We’re back again, better than before
You’ll shout encore
LET IT FLOW, LET IT FLOW
It’s our 29th year you know
LET IT FLOW, LET IT FLOW
So proud we have to crow
We sing and dance
And here we play
We’ve locked the doors
You’re not getting outta here any way!
Start of dance music
Everyone exits
Act 1 Scene 2 - Lights up SL
Receptionist: (answers phone cheerfully) Happily Ever After Counselors, we put the happily in ever after. Please hold. On phone with friend, looking at People Magazine) Dr. Smarty Pants, your 3pm weirdo group is here. (back on phone) OMG Viv!, I had the BEST weekend ever. On Thursday my boyfriend Joey took me out to Fridays for our 3 months anniversary. Then Saturday I got a mani-pedi and then went shopping. That night, Joey got backstage passes for the Bon Jovi concert. I almost seen him but he left before we got there. And then...
Therapist: (interrupting) Miss Monique. (She doesn't hear her.)
Receptionist: (continues with friend on the phone)... Ayou sitting down, cause ya not gonna believe it?
Therapist: (again but louder) Miss Monique!. 7
Receptionist: (to her friend on the phone)... hold on Vanessa.. (to the therapist). Do you need something? This is kind of important.
Therapist: Yes, I do need something. and IT’S kind of important.
Receptionist: (to her friend on the phone)... V, listen, we’ll have to talk later. It’s all on Facebook. (to her boss) OK, Dr. Know-it-All, I know, you need me to change the toner cartridge, can I do it tomorrow I have my fav. skirt on today? By the way, what do you think of my nails?
Therapist: No it’s not the toner. (Rolling his eyes, glance at nails) Yes, very nice.
Receptionist: (admiring her nails) Strut your Stuff
Therapist: What?? You want me to Strut my Stuff? I don’t dance
Receptionist: No silly, it’s the color
Therapist: What color? Receptionist: (exasperated) OF THE NAIL POLISH. (Showing him the nails again putting her hand up in his face.) Strut Your Stuff!
Therapist: (Losing patience) Oy, No Miss Monique, it’s about the clients.
Receptionist: Oh yeah, wacky bunch they are.
Therapist: (looking at audience)It takes one to know one. (Back to Miss Monique) I need you to PLEASE watch what you say to them. (teaching) “The doctor will be with you shortly” should be about the extent of what you need to say.
Receptionist: Oh, that’s it? Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Therapist: (losing patience) What? Is that even English? I am serious, no commenting on hair, dress, tan, lack of hair, lack of tan, acne, makeup, teeth. NOTHING, NADA!
Receptionist: OK, OK, I get it. NP.
Therapist: (lost, looks at audience) NP!??? It’s gonna be a long day. (greets group) Please come in. (open curtains characters move into place)
ACT 1 Scene 3 – Group TheraPLAY
Song- The Little Things You Do Together
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ALL: It's the little things you do together, Do together, Do together, That make perfect relationships. The hobbies you pursue together, Savings you accrue together, Looks you misconstrue together, That make marriage a joy. M-hm...
Therapist: And what brings the two of you to my office?
Lights up center on Belle and Beast
Belle: Well, I don’t mean to be critical..
Beast: Why should today be different?
Belle: ..but he left several hair balls on the pillow this morning. We have to do something to get you to stop licking your-self in your sleep.
Beast: I can’t help it. It’s just what I do. Besides, I thought you loved me for who I am.
Belle: Oh, I do, I do. It’s just that when we have company I wish you could act a little more…..
Beast: HUMAN!!!???
Belle: You’re just impossible.
Beast: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Belle: All my life I’ve dreamed of a future outside of the boring little town I’ve always known. I met Beast, and, yes, we did live a fairy tale for a while. But, now…. I swear if he slurps his soup one more time, I’m going to lose it! He has absolutely NO table manners! It’s embarrassing!
Beast: Well, Excuse me! I shall adjourn to the loo! Toilet to you less cultured. Embarrassing, hah.
Belle: Don’t forget the litter box.
Beast: AHHHHHH
Lights up on Rapunzel and Eugene USL
Therapist: What is going on with you two?
Rapunzel: (turning and seeing Eugene, startled.) I asked my prince if he could please help me by washing the dishes? Snow White was coming later for dessert – I made her an apple pie! - and you know how she gets when the sink is full of dirty dishes! Drives me insane
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Prince Eugene: (with great sarcasm) Sure, Isaid. Why not? I didn’t have anything else to do, and since Rappy was busy brushing her hair for the four-hundredth time..today, she couldn’t do it .. (Rapunzel makes a face at him. Prince goes to sink and attempts to start washing. After a few moments, he pulls up a gross, wet wad of long, knotted hair.)
Prince Eugene: (grimacing) Our sink was clogged again!!! How do you manage to clog every single sink in the castle?!
Rapunzel: Geez. Soooo-rry!
Prince Eugene: Rapunzel, be careful. Sweetheart I really think you should consider a trim.
Rapunzel: Don’t be silly Eugene. You used to think my hair was one of the best things about me.
Rapunzel: We have to hurry. Walmart is having a huge sale on “hair dryers.”
Prince Eugene: I’ll never get out of the castle, now.
It's the little things you share together, Swear together, Wear together, That make perfect relationships. The concerts you enjoy together, Neighbors you annoy together, Children you destroy together, That keep marriage intact. MMhm
Lights up on Prince Charming and Snow White
Therapist: Tell me your story.
Prince: I asked my honey,” don’t we have enough cleaning supplies? 15 mops, 25 brooms 60 packs of gloves and two years worth of Mr. Clean.”
Snow White: It’s not just for us my Prince. I have a contract with those filthy little miners, (Offstage – all dwarfs peak out and say “We heard that”) and then I must clean up before the royal maids come by our cottage and since they will be touching everything, I am gonna have to clean-up after as well.
Prince : You know sweety, I can appreciate how germ-conscious you are but aren’t you being a little extreme? You are a princess. My princess. You do not need to clean all the time.
Snow White: (She turns with a finger pointed at him and is about to say something when she sees a spot on his jacket) Oh my! Look at that spot. Come on. The cleaners is just up the road.
It's not talk of God and the decade ahead that Allows you to get through the worst. It's "I do" and "you don't" and "nobody said that" And "who brought the subject up first?" 10
It's the little things, The little things, the little things, the little things.
Uh huh
Kiss Kiss
MM hmm,
Pinocchio and Geppetto rush in: Sorry we’re late, did we miss anything?
Receptionist: Dr. Stop Pestering Me, I tried to stop this man
Geppetto: Geppetto…
Receptionist: …and his little son.
Pinocchio..Pinocchio!
Receptionist: What a cute little boy.(Tweaks Cheek)
Pinocchio: Can I ask you a question?
Receptonist: Sure
Pinocchio reaches for her and tweaks her cheek
Pinocchio: How does that feel? (Receptionist -OW) And I am not little.
Therapist: Well, what have we here?
Receptionist: More wackos for you.
Pinocchio and Geppetto: We resemble that remark.
Therapist: I see you met my new receptionist
Geppetto: When is she gonna be your old receptionist?
Therapist: What can I do for you?
Geppetto: Well as you know doctor, at first Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy. I did everything in my power to make that happen. But now he wants to be a REAL MAN, and I’m at a loss as to what to do! I did what you suggested. I got him a 50 inch flat screen television with 5 ESPN sport channels,…and a fake mustache…
Pinocchio: I want to be a REAL MAN! 11
Therapist: Did something happen? We were making so much progress.
Geppetto: As a matter of fact, yes. Yesterday, we went to the diner, and when we were seated,…(pause) The waitress offered him (pause, like it is just too terrible to say)…the KIDDIE MENU,…and a cup of crayons!! Well, he just lost it! And, he was even wearing his mustache at the time!
Therapist: I can see the seriousness of this incident, and my advice to you right now is that, you need a night out. Yes, all of you need a night out. A movie. Find a nice movie and relax. Time’s up. See you next week.
Pinocchio: I want to be a real man! (high voice)
Therapist. Pinocchio, lower your voice. Keep working on your vocal exercises. It’s all that bass.
DANCE: IT’S ALL ABOUT THAT BASS – Female Dance
End of Dance
Belle: It’s all about that beast to me. Come on
Act1 Scene 4
Dwarfs enter SR and spread out across the stage
Grumpy: Can you believe how filthy and dusty this place looks.
Sleepy: I haven’t noticed
Sneezy: Me neither. A..ah..achoo. What no bless you?
All mumble
Happy: We should be grateful Snow still cleans up in here.
Doc: Yeah, and that she never found out the contract we signed all those years ago isn’t worth the papyrus it is written on.
All laugh
Dopey: It isn’t? Well why does she do it?
Bashful: Maybe cause she’s a really nice person who doesn’t have anyone else to take care of and if she found out she would feel hurt that we tricked her and leave us for good
Grumpy: Who cares. She will be here soon and She is doing my room first.
Doc: says who? 12
All start aguing
Happy: It is so nice we all get along.
Dopey: Wait a minute. If she gets wise we are in trouble. She is so much bigger than us.
SONG – BIGGER ISN’T BETTER
Bigger isn’t better, taller isn’t braver, stronger isn’t always wise
Smaller isn’t neces-sarily the lesser, guts can come in any size
Lady luck can favor just a little shaver over one who’s 6’3
Brains in any tussle, mops the floor with muscle,
Bet your life I’m glad I’m me
The dinosaur’s no more, the dear old dodo’s dead
But right there on the floor some ant’ll still be treadin..after Armageddon
Dwarf dance interlude
Smallest Yankee Doodle if he’s in the mood’ll beat the whole caboodle
Using just his noodle, bet your life I’m glad I’m me!
ACT 1 SCENE 5 - if the shoe fits
SET: Castle interior CHARACTERS: Cinderella and Prince Charming COSTUMES: PROPS: Shopping bags full of shoe boxes, large Zappos box
MUSIC:
(Enter Cinderella to her castle, carrying many shopping bags filled with shoe boxes.)
Cinderella: I just LOVE shoes! Ever since Fairy Godmother got me my first pair of glass slippers, I just can’t resist! Let me see, where shall I put these boxes, I’m not sure that they will fit, ….in this closet. (She looks in closet that is completely full with shoe boxes.)
(Doorbell rings. It’s a Zappos delivery.
To the tune of Hooray for Captain Spalding 13
Zappos Deliverer: Hello Cinderella? Thanks for your Zappos order
It looks like you’re a hoarder, HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY
I need to have you sign here, and tell me what’s your zip
You better leave a big tip! HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY
Cinderella accepts the Zappos box.)
Oh look, MORE SHOES!! I’m so glad I was able to special order my size!
(Enter Prince Charming)
Prince Charming: Honey, I’m home! (Looks at the Zappos box, grimaces, and says under his breath) Not again!!
Cinderella: Hello Darling, how was your day?
Prince Charming: My day was fine. What is all of this?
Cinderella: Oh, just some shoes. Our anniversary ball is coming up.
Prince Charming: My dear, you only have two feet, how many pairs of shoes do you really need. This is getting out of control. We have already taken out a second mortgage on the castle to remodel and install new closets. Oh, and please explain why we need to keep the cobbler,…on retainer?!
Cinderella: Dear, you know that my foot size is smaller than most.
(Doorbell rings again. This time it is UPS with a Payless Shoes delivery.)
Prince Charming: Another shoe delivery?!
UPS: U P S, is here with a package
I’ve got your payless shoes
Please sign here, wow you really like shoes
I’m sure they’ll cure your blues
HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY
Charming: I don’t believe it.
Cinderella: Darling, Payless offers FREE SHIPPING with a $35 purchase!
Prince Charming: Darling, I think that you have a serious problem and that we should talk to a professional about it. I am making an appointment at, “Happily Ever After Counselors.” They come very highly recommended. Prince Phillip told me they did wonders for Sleeping Beauty’s Narcolepsy. 14
Cinderella: Well, I don’t think that I have a problem, but if you insist, we can give it a try. (Pause) I have the perfect pair of shoes to wear!
(Put a song or dance or music break)
ACT 1 Scene 6 - Back to the drawing board – Therapist’s Office Receptionist, Therapist, Snow, Prince, Beast, Rapunzel, Eugene
SET: At the office of “Happily Ever After Counselors” CHARACTERS: Snow White, Prince Charming, receptionist and therapist at Happily Ever After Counselors COSTUMES: PROPS: Coffee cup, Coffee machine
Enter Snow White and Prince Charming to the office of Therapist of Happily Ever After Counselors
Receptionist: (answers phone cheerfully) Happily Ever After Counselors, we put the happily in ever after. Please hold. Have a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly (says in the teaching/taught voice). (Yells to therapist) How was that? (to Snow White) Wow, I need to clean off my desk and I am so far behind in my filing!
(starts filing her nails)
(Snow White has trouble restraining herself from cleaning up the mess.)
Snow White: Let me help you with your desk!!
Receptionist: Thank you, but the doctor wouldn’t like that because you’re clients. I’ve been meaning to get to this filing anyway. (She knocks over coffee cup on desk.)
Oh dear, I spilled, let me clean this up!
Snow White: Let me help you with that! (Snow White opens her coat to reveal cleaning supplies lined in her coat like a Time Square watch salesmen. She has difficulty restraining herself from cleaning up the mess.)
(Phone buzzes and Doctor asks for clients to be sent in. Prince Charming guides Snow White in. She is reluctant to leave the mess
(Snow White and Prince Charming enter office)
Prince: Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, doctor. 15
Therapist: Let me just get your file from Monique. (buzzes receptionist) Monique, would you bring in the Snow White file. It should be right on your desk.
(Receptionist comes in with file. Snow White cringes when she realizes coffee had spilled on it.)
Please tell me what is on your mind.
Snow White: My husband can’t seem to understand that I have an obligation to help the little men.
Snow White: You see, my mother hired a huntsman to kill me.
Therapist: Do continue.
Snow White: The huntsman took pity on me, but, told me to flee and never return home. I had nowhere to go, but the kind woodland creatures led me to a cottage in the middle of the woods, it was the worst mess (smiles gleefully) I have ever seen. So, I cleaned it. The little men that lived there allowed me to stay. Even after I met my prince, they still wanted me to keep house for them. I agreed, and then they asked me to sign a contract. So, you see, I MUST keep house for them.
Prince: Please, let me say my piece. My bride cleans anything and everything. She cannot control her impulse to clean and organize. This goes well beyond the home of the little men. It is affecting our relationship.
Therapist: Snow White, it is my opinion that you may be suffering from OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is my belief that you feel driven to clean in order to relieve anxiety. I think that if we start by letting go of your duties at the house of the little men, we can limit your rituals to home. Then we can take steps to control your obsessive cleaning habits.
Snow White: I want to save my marriage, so I will try to get out of the contract with the little men.
Prince: Thank you doctor, I will address the royal legal counsel on this matter.
Therapist: See you next week.
Receptionist: Dr. U. Help Em, a beast just barged in, I couldn’t stop him.
Therapist: I’ll deal with him. Come in
Beast: Thanks, sorry Snow and Prince but this is important.
Snow and Prince: We were just leaving. (They exit)
Beast: They think they got problems, ha. When Belle gets angry I end up acting more like an ..animal.
Therapist: It may be that your anger is making those animal habits resurface. We control that and your behavior should become completely gentlemanlike. I’ve got the cure that will change your life. When you get nervous, frustrated or angry you say, Pins and needles, Needles and pins it’s a happy man that grins.
Beast: Couldn’t I just take a pill? That sounds so humiliating. 16
Therapist: Try it, you’ll like it.
Beast: I am meeting the gang at the movies later tonight and if need be will try use it.
Therapist: Enjoy the show and relax. Cinderella and PC enter
Receptionist: Happily Ever After Counselors We put..oh never mind.
Prince Charming: Sorry we’re late.
Receptionist: NP. The doctor is waiting. Hey, I love your shoes, Cindy. Where evah did you get them?
Cinderella: Zappos, they were on sale. Couldn’t you die?
Prince Charming: Come on.
Beast starts to leave but is floored by an onrushing PC. Starts to get up and is hit by Cinderella. All start to get up when receptionist knocks everyone down.
Beast: Pins and Needles, Needles and Pins it’s a happy man who grins. Looks at everyone. Not working yet doc.
Therapist: It takes time. Beast exits. How can I help you?
Announcer: Meanwhile back at Rapunzel’s Castle Prince
Prince Eugene: (making quick phone call) “...Okay. Thank you. I appreciate it. See you soon.” These plumber calls are costing us a fortune of gold coins! This is the third time I’ve called this week alone! And your tangled hair has burned out the motors of five Dysons already! Why can’t you just get it cut?!!!
Rapunzel: I like it long. It’s always been long. You never used to mind! In fact, we would not have met if it weren’t for my long hair!
Prince Eugene: Well, you don’t live in a tower anymore, Baby! We live together –in this castle – and we have STAIRS! –Which are so, so much easier to climb, by the way!
Rapunzel: Well, stairs or no stairs, I’m leaving it long, and that’s final!
HAIR - Song HAIR - Dance 17
Act 1 Scene 7 Ye Olde Switcheroo – Therapist Office, Inn
Prince, Prince Charming, Bartender, Piano player
Prince Charming and Prince bump into each other coming out of therapist and realize they are both called Prince Charming and decide to pull a switch
Prince: I have to find a lawyer (bumps into Prince Charming) excuse me.
PC and Prince: You look familiar (said together)
Prince: Do you know everyone call me charming, Prince Charming?
PC: That is so funny when I am really Prince Charming, Prince
Prince: I have a wacky idea, want to grab some grog?
PC: Grab some grog, is that PC?
Prince: Grog, it’s a drink. Follow me. (go to inn)
Bartender: Prince Charming, charming prince, what can I get for you?
PC: Two Grogs. Do you know how often I am confused for you?
Prince: Yeah, everyone thinks I go with Cinderella instead of Snow White.
PC: I have a crazy idea, since everyone confuses us anyway, why don’t we switch partners and see what happens?
Prince: Two more grogs. We got some plans to make.
PC: This is gonna be good. I feel great. Hey, Mr. Orchestra Leader, play us something fun
BAND SONG
Act 1 Scene 8 - Disney at the movies
Snow White, Prince, Beast, Belle, Rapunzel, Eugene, Dwarfs 18
Snow: I think the therapist is right. A night at the movies will do us a world of good. Is everybody here?
Prince Charming: We are all here for you, my sweet.
Snow: What? Oh, that is so nice. Thank you darling.
Prince: OK, let’s line up single file.
Everyone slow to follow
Beast roars: Line up now!
Everyone snaps into line
Rapunzel: There are so many of us, we should have ordered tickets on line.
Eugene: Let’s just get this done. Which movie are we seeing? If we can streamline this it will speed up the process.
Belle: What are the choices?
Ticket Taker 1: Welcome to the Cineplex, tonight we are showing the Princess Diaries 1
Ticket Taker 2: and 2,
Snow: Seen them.
1: The Princess and the Pea, The Princess and the Frog
Rapunzel: That was so romantic!
All other: NOT
2: The Swan Princess, The Snow Princess, The Ice Princess
Sleepy: Boring
1: The Princess Protection Program,
Dopey: That sounds interesting.
Beast: I’d like to see a few more Princesses in that program.
2: The Prince and the Pauper, the Princess Bride or
Together 1& 2: Prince in Concert. 19
Prince Eugene: Some choice. 9 princess movies, 1 prince movie and a freaky symbol that’s not even royalty!
Charming: What would tickle your fancy my sweet Snowy?
Snow: Are you feeling alright?
Doc: This is nauseating. What are we gonna see tonight?
All shout different movies
Belle: Oh this is so relaxing.
Snow: While you decide I am going to take the dwarfs and get a head start on the concession line:
Bashful: I like popcorn
Happy: I’ll take a pretzel with salt
Grumpy: I don’t like salt.
Beast: Pins and Needles, Needles and Pins it’s a happy beast that grins. Oh, when I get a hold of that Therapist, (Roars).
Dance: ANIMAL
End of First Act
Beginning of Act 2 - Make some concessions
Grabbing a nosh Full cast end of act 1. Main cast of characters plus concessionaires, security, managers.
Snow: I am glad we got here when we did, the line is already long. 20
Cinderella: I see some of my family up ahead. I’m gonna say hi
Prince: Hey, see if they will let us cut in with them
Cinderella: Will do
(she movers to the front of the line and kinda of squeezes in)
Cinderella: Hi Stepmother. What are you seeing? So many wonderful pictures to choose from
Stepmother: I know what you’re doing and it won’t work. Move it.
Cinderella: Hi Sis, what’s happening
Drusilla: Good try, STEP Sister.
Cinderella: But Dru, Anastasia, we’re family.
Dru: You stole the prince with your darn glass slippers
Anastasia: And now you want to steal our buttered popcorn. There ain’t no happy ending for you. (She turns)
Hi Pinocchio, what are you seeing today?
Pinocchio:I am not sure you can cut this line.
Cinderella: You don’t mind, if it’s just little old me, do you? (Gives him a hug)
Pinocchio: Gosh, I guess not. (Cinderella signals to prince and dwarfs who move up)
(Gepetto enters and joins Pinocchio as dwarfs and Prince enter line)
Gepetto: Holda up on the car wash. What’s a going on here? Where did you little guys come from
Grumpy: Mr. Wooden shoes and big nose let us in.
Gepetto: Pinochio, is that a true? What happened? We were a next in a line?
Pinocchio: I was chatting with this pretty lady, she hugged me and the next thing I know I was looking down on a mess of little people.
All Dwarfs: Who you calling little
Pinocchio: Well, you.
Doc: That’s it. Care to step outside?
Pinocchio: OK (He starts to go. Gepetto stops him. 21
Gepetto: You wait here I am going to get the manager.
Dopey: Is it true you’re not a real boy?
Bashful: That’s so sad
Sneezy: Yeah, that really…really..blows. (Sneezes on Pinocchio)
Pinochio: EW, you are disgusting. I have to go wash. Exits
Dwarfs Hi-5: What a maroon.
Old Woman: Not so fast little people. My flock has been waiting for awhile and you don’t want to mess with Thelma and Louise
Thelma: Dang, you and your pals better get moving
Louise: Ease on down that road pal cause no one cutting in front of us to steal our jujubes.
Cinderella and dwarfs end up back where they were.
Grumpy: This stinks.
Beast: We got the tickets.
Belle: The line is so long, we might miss the movie
Rapunzel. I have a hair consultation in the morning, I need my beauty sleep.
Charming: We need to organize. Let’s write all our orders down and then we will be ready to go.
Prince: Great idea.
Charming: Okay who wants…
Everyone yells out order
Prince: Bad Idea. This is so not relaxing. Let’s go home.
Eugene: What do we do about our dates, and the dwarfs?
Beast, Charming, Prince, Eugene: Leave em!
Charming: How about a root beer and a nice game of Gin rummy?
All: I’m in
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Act 2 Scene 2 - Judge Judy and the Seven Dwarfs SET: Court Room CHARACTERS: Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Judge Judy, Bailiff, Assorted characters COSTUMES: Long tunics for dwarfs, snow white costume PROPS: Chairs, judges bench MUSIC: Happy by T. Williams (Men’s number)
(Snow White wants to end her lease with the Dwarfs and they refuse. As a last resort she has brought them to court.) (DOUG LLEWELLYN MOMENT)
Bailiff: Please stand for Judge Judy. (Bailiff looks toward the dwarfs.) I said stand for Judge Judy!
Dwarfs: We are standing.
Judge Judy: All right. Before we begin, I just want to let everyone know that this is no small matter. Call the first case.
Bailiff: Snow White vs the 7 dwarfs. Will the Plaintiff approach the bench. (Snow White steps up to the bench.)
Judge Judy: Your last name please.
Snow White: It’s White your honor.
Judge Judy: And your first name Miss White?
Snow White: Snow
JJ: I didn’t ask you for a weather report. I asked you for your first name.
Snow White: Snow is my first name.
JJ: Are your parents Eskimos?
SW: No your honor. My mother was a ski instructor.
JJ: So why are you here today Ms. White?
SW: Well, I want to get out of my lease and my seven EX roommates want to hold me to it.
JJ: Seven roommates? OK, tell me why you want to break your lease.
SW: You see your honor when I signed the contract I needed a place to stay and I was desperate and well, things just didn’t turn out the way I expected.
JJ: For instance?
SW: Well, Sleepy lays around the house all day…sleeping. Grumpy is never happy, and Happy is a little too happy, if you know what I mean. Bashful is not that bashful after all. Doc is just a gnome with a dictionary. Dopey is the only one with a brain, well half a brain. But it’s Sneezy that really creeps me out. He leaves germs everywhere. (Snow White starts writhing and continues for several seconds.)
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JJ: ALRIGHT! I get the idea. Now which one of you gentlemen is going to speak for the group?
(The seven dwarfs look at each other and point to each other until someone pushes Dopey forward)
Dopey: Well your highness, I mean your ladyship, I mean your….
JJ: Come on, get on with it.
Dopey: When we signed the contract, Snow White agreed to certain terms. She said she would cook and keep the cottage tidy while we were at work.
Grumpy: And tend to the garden!
Doc: And do the laundry!
Sleepy: I work hard in the mines, so what if I sleep?.
Happy: Gee, I kinda like her!
JJ: I’m going to make my ruling. Ms. White, you will comply with the terms of your lease for 2 years. After all, you knew what you were getting into with roommates like these. (aside) And who names their kid Snow? As far as you gentlemen, I don’t give a hoot what your cute little nicknames are. From here on you all better grow up.
Dopey: Yer sir, er, I mean yes, maam. Come on, men.
Sneezy: A choo. I am so happy
Happy: No I’m happy!
(The seven dwarfs move forward, possibly in front of the curtain, and dance to Happy.)
HAPPY – Dance
Act 2 Scene 3 - Girls with clubs don’t mix
Girls and women walk to a club on the way home. All are upset at being left at movies
Goldilocks: Hi Welcome to Goldie’s Locks and Bagels. We have some specials.
Cinderella: My feet hurt, beat it.
Louise: Thelma, do you believe those guys left us at the movies?
Thelma: Oh when I get my hands on them
Belle: Wait till my animal sees what a real beast is like. 24
Rapunzel: Look at what the night air did to my hair! Eugene wants me to cut something, I’ll cut something alright.
Old Woman: Girls, boys will be boys sometimes. I, sadly, never seemed to have a man in my house, but I’ve raised a lot of boys, so I know, usually, what they are thinking. Sometimes you have to give them so slack.
Lily: So they can hang themselves
All: good one!
Rapunzel: I might wrap him in my hair and no one will ever find him.
Old woman: Ladies, let’s be, you should excuse the expression, the bigger man. Look at what we ended up with; a night out for the girls! We’ve had our crabbing session, now let’s have some fun. Don’t allow the boys to ruin our night. Listen to an old woman.
Just No Time At All - Song
Belle: She is so right. No more complaining. Think how fortunate we are. We’re strong woman and role models to millions, loved by our fans who constantly buy our movies and sing our songs
Rapunzel: I don’t have a song, but I can sure wrap. Big Hair joke. Oh, and I do a great Cher impression. (cher song or hair type song)
Cinderella: I am going to have a shoe sale, come by the castle and you can have first choice.
Old Woman: I don’t think any will fit me, but my kids’ll have a field day.
Goldilocks: So what will you have ladies? Oh and by the way, I hope you’ll be watching the tv tonight, my family will be competing on Family Feud with Richard Dawson
Cinderella: Well bust , so will my family. Bring it on!
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Song for Couples – Love will Keep us Together