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CHRISTOS HATZIS SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT KEY (THE FIRST FORTY YEARS) Page | 2 Page | 3 I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man? Chuang Tzu 389-286 BC As we live through thousands of dreams in our present life, so is our present life only one of many thousands of such lives which we enter from the other more real life and then return after death. Our life is but one of the dreams of that more real life, and so it is endlessly, until the very last one, the very real life of God. —Leo Tolstoy Row you boat gently by the stream merrily. Life is but a dream. Page | 4 Copyright © 2009 Christos Hatzis All Rights Reserved For inquiries please contact: Christos Hatzis Faculty of Music University of Toronto 80 Queen's Park Toronto, ON M5S 2C5 Canada Page | 5 TABLE OF CONTENTS Christos Hatzis ............................................................................................................................................................ 1 SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT KEY (THE FIRST FORTY YEARS) ................................................................. 1 Table of Contents ....................................................................................................................................................... 5 References .................................................................................................................................................................... 7 PROLOGUE .................................................................................................................................................................... 9 The Philosophical Backdrop ............................................................................................................................................... 13 The Outline ................................................................................................................................................................................ 23 I. THE EARLY YEARS ............................................................................................................................................... 27 Background ............................................................................................................................................................................... 29 Paternal Lineage ..................................................................................................................................................................... 33 Maternal Lineage ................................................................................................................................................................... 41 My Spiritual Lineage ............................................................................................................................................................. 45 Grace and Darkness ............................................................................................................................................................... 51 The Pressures ........................................................................................................................................................................... 57 The Train ............................................................................................................................................................................. 62 My early musical steps .......................................................................................................................................................... 67 The sexual conundrum ......................................................................................................................................................... 75 In America for the first time ............................................................................................................................................... 79 Back in Greece .......................................................................................................................................................................... 87 Twists of Fate ........................................................................................................................................................................... 91 II. IN NORTH AMERICA .......................................................................................................................................... 99 Deconstruction...................................................................................................................................................................... 101 The Samurai .......................................................................................................................................................................... 109 From Abstract Expressionism… ..................................................................................................................................... 119 . through Fractals . ...................................................................................................................................................... 125 Page | 6 . to the Akasha ................................................................................................................................................................... 135 In the Realm of Water ........................................................................................................................................................ 143 In the Presence of Grace .................................................................................................................................................... 157 The Holy Man on the Holy Mountain ........................................................................................................................... 165 The Magdalene ..................................................................................................................................................................... 173 The Past-Present-Future Conundrum.......................................................................................................................... 187 The Free Will Conundrum ................................................................................................................................................ 201 Neverland ............................................................................................................................................................................... 215 The “I” within the cocoon ................................................................................................................................................. 223 The Law of One ..................................................................................................................................................................... 229 III. THE CRUCIBLE YEARS ...................................................................................................................................235 The Fall after the Falls ....................................................................................................................................................... 237 Where There Are Trees Standing in the Water ........................................................................................................ 243 The Crucible ........................................................................................................................................................................... 251 Gradual Reawakening ....................................................................................................................................................... 265 The Unlikely Yogi ................................................................................................................................................................. 279 The Music of Dualism ......................................................................................................................................................... 297 Spring Equinox ..................................................................................................................................................................... 307 Earthrise and Quaternio ................................................................................................................................................... 313 The Transition Years .......................................................................................................................................................... 327 Staring at the Dream Mirror ........................................................................................................................................... 339 Exiting the Shadows ........................................................................................................................................................... 351 “Our Home and Native Land” .......................................................................................................................................... 363 In the Spotlight ....................................................................................................................................................................