$3 Bet Our Mamma Don’t Know We Can Scratch Like That $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program blackhawksblog.blogspot.com November 12th, 2008 [email protected] SHOWTIME HAS COME TO THE UC? No, we don’t mean when the Lakers Frustrated Forwards Have To Be In a lot like Tim Thomas. Luckily, with the B’s come to town to donkey-punch the Bulls. By 12 o’clock playing arch-rival Montreal tomorrow night, We’re talking about the Hawks and the perfor- To tonight, and the visit of The the Hawks very well may get a look at Manny mances they’ve put up lately. We’ve sent our Hub’s Hockey Heroes, otherwise known as Fernandez, the only “Manny” Boston fans have research team out to discover a game when the Bruins. Across the redline, the Hawks left. Fernandez has been good, but he hasn’t the Hawks’ passing was as crisp as it was will see a team that is just as hot as they are. been defying the Lord like Thomas. Sunday night vs. Calgary (you can ask them The B’s have won 6 of 7, and currently stand We’d Make A “More Than A Feel- how it’s going, they’re the ones begging for second in the Northeast Division. If you’re a ing” Joke, But That Song Sucks change outside the United Center). So far, gambling man, and are looking for a non- The Hawks will have more problems they haven’t come up with anything, certainly chalk pick to come out of the East come May, with Boston than merely who’s in net. The at no time after the lockout, and you may have we suggest you look right here. The Bruins Bruins have very solid--if unspectacular-- to go all the way back to the strike-shortened defensively are oppressive; have strenght up defensemen, including budding star Dennis ‘95 season when Bernie “Pumper” Nicholls was the middle in Marc Savard, Patrice Bergeron, Wideman, who has been carrying Chara this having a renaissance. It was a damn Globe- and David Krejci that few teams can boast of; season (a la Keith carrying Seabrook). How- trotter routine, and the Flames had no answer. and have not one, but two goalies playing for ever, none of their blue-liners move the puck TSN in Canada reported there was a case of a contract at the end of the season (which can very well, and perhaps the Hawks can create flu doing the rounds in the Flames dress- work wonders for a team and a goalie’s bank some chances with a heavy forecheck. Boston ing room, which might help explain why the account, see: Khabibulin, Lightning, 2004 and compensates by playing a real conserva- Hawks had so much room to manuever. But Huet, Capitals, 2008). tive system with all of their forwards doing it’s one thing to have space, and it’s another Tim Thomas, the #1 netminder, has the dirty work in their own end, and doing to take that space and use it to pistol-whip played at such a high level this season we’re it well. Frankly, it’s harder to score on the your opponents. That’s precisely what the not sure Satan isn’t going to pop up mid- Bruins than a Republican Bible-thumper with Hawks did on Sunday night. January to collect his end of the deal. There an iron chastity belt. They’ve given up only We always worry when the Hawks are few goalies who are more fun to watch 17 even-strength goals in 14 games, and are come up against a more physical team, like than Thomas. He’s not positionally sound, in 3rd in the league in goals-against per game. the Flames...well, 90% of the league is more fact, he’ll leave more gaping openings than More of Sunday’s passing demonstration will physical than the Hawks, but whatever. On you’ll find on Jenna Jameson’s anatomy. But be needed if the Hawks are to send the Bruins display Sunday was exactly how the Hawks will there’s no better scrambler than Thomas, back to Boston disappointed (actually, anyone beat those teams. Tape-to-tape passes, al- who always finds a way to make a save, usu- headed back to Boston is disappointed. It’s lowing the Hawks to use their superior speed ally in highlight-reel fashion. If Bugs Bunny a terrible place. Like living in an expensive to get around slower opponents. The Hawks were to play goalie in the NHL, it would look fraternity house. Yuck.). -Statler and Waldorf can’t afford to constantly battle for loose pucks and dump-ins, they’re too small. The possession game we saw last time out allows the Hawks to carry into the zone with speed, and there are few defensive corps in the NHL who will be able to cope. Are we gushing? We’re gushing, aren’t we? We’ll try and stop, honest. High Voltage A brief word on the now-lethal Hawks power play. We haven’t seen a unit like this since, well, again, that ‘95 team. (Editor’s Disclosure: He is a proud owner of a Bernie Nicholls #92 Hawks jersey, and will stop at nothing to make it relevant again. Even with the mustard stains.) What’s truly gratifying about the Hawks’ PP is its flexiblity--even on the second unit. If teams try and take away down low? Barker and 51 Phantom on Unit 1, Buff/Keith and Seabrook on 2, will bomb from the points. If teams try and take that away? Kane and Toews with the first unit, Havlat and Versteeg on the second, will make plays around the net. Like a serial killer who can strangle as well as stab, you just don’t know how you’re going to get it, but you’re going to. The Brian Campbell Spin-o-Rama Today’s Special: White Russian-$6.75 Million The Nikolai Khabibulin experience has been like like name, his superb ’07-’08 campaign earns him a mulligan a teenage pregnancy: we should have known it would end from the Predators. shamefully, we didn’t because we’re idiots, and now we’re Atlanta – Lehtonen’s numbers have been terrible, but he’s frantically looking for someone to quietly extract the problem young and Atlanta’s defense is beyond awful, so they’ll tough from our bloated roster so we can begin pretending the whole it out with the kid. thing never happened. Well, friends, the time of our salvation Los Angeles – A popular team in preseason Khabi talks, L.A. may soon be upon us. Martin Broedeur’s recent injury has looks unlikely now. The rumored 3-team deal that would have reignited speculation that we might soon be free of the most put Khabi and a defenseman in Ottowa and Anze Kopitar in disappointing Russian Blackhawk since… well, all of our Chicago is a pipe-dream. Ottawa is thrilled with Auld in goal Russian signings have ended this way, but let’s not linger in and L.A. just isn’t good enough to want to trade youth for ex- the past. pensive veterans who won’t put them into contention. They’ll In truth, the future home of Khabibulin is far less stick with LaBarbera or make a low-risk, rebuilding move. certain than your average pundit would have you believe. Tal- The ‘Hey, This Might Work After a Few Beers’ Team: lon wisely (or, more likely, unintentionally) held on to Khabi Toronto – Decent team? Check. Playoff aspirations? Check. for just this moment: a competitive team has lost its netminder Glaring deficiency in net? Check. Hmmm… Toronto is cur - and desperately needs a replacement. In the silent tear of a rently in the crop of teams at the cusp of the playoff picture French-Canadian distal bicep, Tallon became in the East, and this despite the horrendous a genius. He rushed to the phone to sing the From the Barstool play of Vesa Toskala thus far. Toskala praises of the rejuvenated Bhulin Wall to makes too much to be pushed aside hastily, Jersey GM Lou Lamoriello. but Toronto is the one team just good enough Tallon’s plan, however, haa been un- to panic and talk themselves into using their done by the same inevitability that has both cap space on a one year upgrade. created and cursed this entire mess: Khabi’s $6,750,000 price tag. Even with his fine A few other organizations have had stats (2.38 GAA & .919 Save %), Khabibu- their names thrown into the Bulin rumor bin, lin’s salary cap hit is about three times what but they don’t have the financial flexibility the Devils can absorb. Tallon’s stated reluc- Craig Antosh to match up without pulling in a 3rd party tance to accept another team’s bad contract or convincing the Hawks to take their bad has essentially made the Jersey deal nothing contracts. Tampa and Edmonton were in the more than a mirage. mix a month ago, but they have to be satisfied with Smith and We’re left to explore Tallon’s other options. He may Roloson at the moment. Philly has been mentioned recently, be capable of fashioning several teams’ unwanted junk into a but they’re a good $5 million short in cap room. workable multi-team deal, the way MacGyver or a good GM The fallout plan for Tallon consists of two options.