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FROM FROM FROM MY TUMULTUOUS MUSLIMMAKING FATHER, QUARANTINE TO LOCKDOWNQUARANTINE TO TO JOURNEY LUBAVITCHPESACH SON FREEDOM FREEDOMFREEDOM Personal Story Preparation Advice HomeschoolingHomeschooling Tips Tips The Chef’s Recipes ATorah LetterTorah for from for Healing Healing the WHENand NORMAL more! RebbeImpactImpact on on Shidduchim Shidduchim DOESN’T WORK Lonely Seder Rabbi Shais MonologuesMY TUMULTUOUS Taub Talks DoJOURNEY Miracles Still HappenPersonal Story SHOP LOCAL Crown Heights Luxurious Pesach Listing MenuMAKING PESACH Preparation Advice The Chef’s Recipes and more!

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- Yosef T. , NY - Eric G. Cleveland, OH - Akiva R. Lakewood, NJ CONTENTS

PESACH 10 LAST PESACH Lonely Seder Monologues Wedding 12 Another View of the 4 Cups Unites 14 Pesach Preparation with the Rekindling a 25 Lost Friendship 18 Do Miracles Still Happen 62 Luxurious Pesach Menu

BUSINESS 52 Shop Local Who Will Listings to Check Out Advocate 59 Borsolino Hatters A Frank Talk Business Profile about Chinuch 30 KIDS 66 The Pesach Post Shazak Page

67 Saudi Showdown Comic Story

COLUMNS Our Shuls 6 From the Publisher Of Crown Heights Mica Soffer 35 8 Dvar Malchus From the Rebbe 47 Ask the Therapist Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch Disrespectful 50 Health Letter Sara Chana Silverstein How the Rebbe 71 Humor Responded Mordechai Schmutter 42 74 Important Numbers & Zmanim

4 COLlive Magazine 2 ads_Layout 1 9/1/2020 8:21 PM Page 1

far tui prhhkfgi pxj pxj prhhkfgi prhhkfgi tui tui far far WISHING OUR CUSTOMRES AND THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY A HAPPY HEALTHY, AND KOSHER PESACH!

Tishrei Edition 1 Tzfasman Jewelers | 718.774.2770 | 551 Crown St, Brooklyn, NY 11213 @tzfasmanjewelers FROM THE PUBLISHER MICA SOFFER PUBLISHER Mica Soffer In earlier years, when the Crown seeing my father, his face lit up and Heights crowd was smaller, the Rebbe was full of gratitude. EDITOR would personally hand out Shmura Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin He told that during his Seder on the Matzah on Erev Pesach. It wasn’t a second night of Pesach, they were ASSISTANT EDITOR whole “shleima.” It was just a piece - just holding by rochtza, when the Toiby Hayes but that piece was precious and every doorbell rang. It was the postman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS crumb was eaten, as it carried the with the overnight mail, delivering Levi Groner Rebbe’s blessing with it. the Rebbe’s matzah. Libby Herz Chassidim spending Pesach elsewhere In perfect timing, Shmuel gave out the Rabbi Moshe Moscowitz would ask a friend to get a piece of Rebbe’s matzah to his family to eat Rabbi Zalman Posner OBM matzah from the Rebbe on their behalf during motzi-matzah. Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch and then ship it to them as overnight Danit Schusterman And, he concluded - he was the only mail, hoping it would arrive the next Raizel Schusterman one who received the Rebbe’s matzah day in time for the second Seder. Mordechai Schmutter from in time for the Seder. Sara Chana Silverstein My father, Rabbi Shmarya Katzen, Other families in Worcester received it Dovid Zaklikowski received such a request one year from on Chol Hamoed... Shmuel, a classmate of his at DESIGN My family and I heard this story Hadar Hatorah, who was spending Toiby Hayes countless times. My father would tell Pesach in Massachusetts. PHOTOS it excitedly every Pesach, and at other On Erev Pesach, my father went by JEM occasions over the years. He had no the Rebbe and was given a piece for Hasidic Archives explanation as to why it happened. He Menush Amit himself. He then gathered the courage was just elated to have been part of Nechama Photography and asked, “I would like a shtikel matzah the Rebbe’s care for another Jew. for my friend Shmuel in Worcester.” Britta Van Kranken We will miss hearing that story from The Rebbe then paused for a moment. my father, of blessed memory. The “The Rebbe just stopped and looked familiar story, which w as so often ADVERTISING at me,” my father recalled. “He gave repeated, is now one that we pass on, Phone: 718-427-2174 ext. 2 me a strange look. I wondered, did I to teach that when a tzadik decrees, Email: [email protected] say something wrong?” Hashem fulfills. EDITORIAL INQUIRIES The Rebbe then asked, “when is it May we all merit blessings of good OR SUBMISSIONS going to get there?” health and happiness and merit the Phone: 718-427-2174 ext. 1 coming of Moshiach, as speedily as Email: [email protected] “For the second Seder,” my father could barely get the words out, he recalled. the Rebbe’s overnight matzah. COLlive Magazine is published in print periodically by the Collive Media Group Inc. The Rebbe listened but didn’t A kosher and happy Pesach! and is distributed free in Brooklyn, NY. respond. He gave my father the COLlive does not endorse any products matzah and wished him “a kosher un or services reported about or advertised freilechin Pesach.” in COLlive Magazine unless specifically noted. The acceptance of advertising in My father then rushed to the post office COLlive Magazine does not constitute on S. Johns Place and sent the matzah a recommendation, approval or other representation o quality of products or via overnight mail, as originally intended, services, or the credibility of any claims made and went on to celebrate Pesach. by advertisers including, but not limited to, At the conclusion of Pesach, his friend the kashrus or advertised food products. The Mica Photo by: Nechama Photography use of any products or services advertised Shmuel returned to Yeshiva, and upon in COLlive Magazine is solely at the user’s Soffer risk and COLlive accepts no responsibility or liability in connection therewith. FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @COLliveOfficial @COLlive 718.679.9450

6 COLlive Magazine From Pesach through Shavuot Be informed and inspired by these acclaimed works of Jewish verse and thought by Rabbi Yosef Marcus

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More in this series J Megillat Esther J Tehillim A Pesach Message: The Individual & Society

By the Grace of G‑d The above mentioned two aspects are also Erev Shabbos-Kodesh reflected in the Korban-Pesach (Pesach Offering) Shabbos Hagodol, 5739 about which the Jewish people in Egypt were Divinely commanded at the beginning of the To the Sons and Daughters of Our People Israel, Month of Geuloh, on Rosh Chodesh Nissan, as an Everywhere — G‑d bless you all! essential prerequisite to Yetzias Mitzraim. Greeting and Blessing: The Korbonos (Offerings) comprise two general The month of Nissan, as also its central feature, categories: Korbonos-Yochid (Individual the Festival of Pesach, Chag Hamatzos, are Offerings) and Korbonos-Tzibbur (Collective “firsts”: The month of Nissan is designated as “It Offerings), i.e. offerings of individuals as shall be unto you—the first of the months of the individuals, and offerings brought by, and year,” while Pesach is the first of all our Festivals. in behalf of, a collective (Tzibbur) of many As such, it is understandable that both the month individuals, wherein the individual is represented and its Festival encompass more, and more by his personal contribution to the Fund which comprehensive, teachings than any of the other was annually raised for this purpose. special days of the year, as is also emphasized by Now, we find that the Korban-Pesach combined the fact that many moments in Jewish life related, both aspects, for it was at the same time both a and serve as “memorials” to Yetzias Mitzraim are Korban-Yochid and, in a sense, a Korban Tzibbur, the Liberation from Egyptian bondage. since it was brought by kenufia (collective of One of the basic significances of the Pesach individuals).’ And both aspects have a distinct Festival is that it represents the birthday of our emphasis which is not found in other Korbonos: Jewish nation; hence it directly relates also to As a Korban-Yochid “the Korban-Pesach was every Jew, as part of the nation. “individualized” and restricted to the “Menuyim In general, every person’s life is two-faceted: — the specially “counted-in” participants who had that of an individual, and as a member of united into a single entity to bring and partake society — the nation, country, city, community, of this Korban-Pesach — to the exclusion of all and environment in which he lives. Although, at others, for none but the “Menuyim” had, or were first glance, these two aspects of a person’s life permitted to have, any part in it; this was not the are at opposite ends, with conflicting interests, case with any other Korban-Yochid (such as the human life, is so ordered that both aspects — the Peace Offering, etc.), where any-one could be “individual” and “social” — rule side-by-side in invited to partake thereof. a more or less harmonious coexistence; the goal, On the other hand, the Korban-Pesach was however, is to achieve a state where the two also, in a sense, a Korban Tzibbur, since all aspects complement each other to the degree of the Jews had to bring it at the same time and constituting one entity. in the same manner (roasted on fire); with the For Jews — whose way of life is mandated added emphasis that unlike other Korbonos- and geared to wholeness and completeness Tzibbur, where the Tzibbur was represented in all aspects of the everyday life — the said by proxy-emissaries, the Anshei-Mamad — the strives assumes the force of an essential and Korban-Pesach was brought in kenufia, so that basic imperative.. the Tzibbur was there in person, as also later at

8 COLlive Magazine DVAR MALCHUS

the eating, all having to eat of the Korban-Pesach at the Our Sages declare that the Geuloh from the present set time, etc. — which was not the case with any other Golus will be in the manner of the Geuloh from Egypt, A Pesach Message: Korban-Tzibbur. when all Jews “with our young and our old, with our sons and with our daughters” without exception, came out In the Korban-Pesach itself there is yet another point which of Egypt, not a single Jew was left there; unlike other indicates the inter-connection of the individual with the Geulos — from Babylon, Persia, and Greek oppression — The Individual & Society Tzibbur, in that the Korban Pesach had to be prepared when some Jews remained in Golus. The coming Geuloh whole, “with its head, its legs, and its inwards.,’ The through our Righteous Moshiach will be “as in the days difference and “distance” between the head and legs, of your coming out of Egypt I will show you wonders” etc. is obvious; yet it was required that all components — that no Jew will remain in Golus. This underscores be prepared together and in like manner. The symbolic again that the Geuloh of Klal Yisroel is bound up with the inference from it is that although a Tzibbur consists of Geuloh of each individual Jew. different individuals, of widely ranging levels, from that of “head” to that of “foot,” they nevertheless join together May G‑d grant that, inasmuch as it is the highest time to to constitute a Tzibbur and contribute, each his full share, pre every Jew and Jewess should be pare for the true to the Tzibbur. and final Geuloh, come involved in this preparation in the fullest measure; the first step being the same that was How is unity between one individual and another, and called for in connection with the first Korban-Pesach, in between an individual and the collective, achieved? This, Egypt: “Draw and take” — to draw back and away from too, is indicated in the name “Pesach,” one meaning of Avodoh Zoroh (idolatry), including “Avodoh Zoroh” in which is to “pass over,” more precisely to “leap over,” its subtle aspects, namely, anything that is “Zor” — alien indicating, among other things, leaping over partitions to the spirit and way of Torah-Yiddishkeit, and pursuing separating Jew from Jew and individual from community, this endeavor in regard to both oneself and those until all are united and merged into the single organic around, and more widely, in regard to the environment, entity that constitutes the Jewish nation. the Tzibbur; to help every Jew that can be reached and To be able to do this, one must first break through the involved in the said preparation for the Geuloh, through confines of one’s own rational and emotional limitations, personal commitment to Torah and Mitzvos. For “He and rise above all hindrances and distractions, from established testimony (the Mitzvos) in Jacob, and gave within and without, in order to attain the fullest the Torah in (and for everyone in) Israel,’ and made these spiritual liberation: the liberation of the very essence the channels through which to receive His blessings. And of the Jewish self — his “Pintele Yid,” as it is often be certain of Hatzlocho in all the above because “I will characterized; this is the way that a Jew aligns himself remember Your wonders of old (at the time of Yetzias with his root and source, and with his fellow-Jew and all Mitzraim) and will meditate on all Your work, and talk of the Jewish people. Your doings.” Which is the well-known concept of “Yetzias Mitzraim” in And, this profound meditation, translated into action as the realm of the spirit. mentioned above, will hasten still further our welcoming Moshiach Tzidkeinu, together with our young and our In practical terms this means that every Jew has old, with our sons and our daughters,” at the true been given the capacity, and is expected, to and complete Geuloh. rise above his narrow personal interests for the sake of the overriding interests of the With esteem and blessing for Hatzlocho in all community in which he lives and of Klal above, and for a Kosher and joyous Pesach, Yisroel. On their part, the Tzibbur and /Signed: M. Schneerson/ Klal Yisroel intervene in behalf of each individual, so that not a single Jew should be lost G‑d forbid, helping each and all to free themselves from their I’Mitzraim, in whatever form it may be. And the Geuloh of the Klal is contingent upon the Geuloh of the individual as an individual.

Nissan 5781 Edition 9 Monologues of a Seder spent in isolation during the Covid lockdown of 2020

By Danit Schusterman

As Pesach approaches, we tables and without bubby and grown and married. Some can’t help thinking back to last zaidy and all the cousins. serve as Shluchim around the Pesach. The Pesach of 5780 world and they have a few Ahead of Pesach 5781, when (2020) was celebrated like children who live nearby in the worst seems to be behind no other. We were all thrown Crown Heights. Their many headfirst into celebrating the us, I sat down with a few couples from Crown Heights grandchildren are a huge and Exodus out of mitzrayim either vital part of their lives. Meir and by ourselves or just with our to reflect on their past Pesach experiences, how it has Miriam live in Crown Heights immediate families. Isolation and have six children, ages 1 isn’t the term most people changed and affected them in to 13. And Sheina and Ari were associate with the Holiday of different ways. newlyweds last year. Freedom, and yet here we Rabbi and Mrs. Schwartz are were, celebrating without huge long-time residents of Crown Here are their honest family gatherings, without big Heights. All their children are monologues:

10 COLlive Magazine PESACH

Mrs. Schwartz: The thought of even meaningful. But I missed the Sheina: I loved not having the spending Pesach without my children very much and their lack of pressure to get my sheitel done and einiklach was heartbreaking. I presence was felt deeply. get dressed up all Yom Tov. Had we couldn’t imagine making the Seder been at my parents, I’d have to be Meir: for just my husband and myself. You know what I enjoyed very dressed to go to shul and for the How does that even work? How much? I enjoyed davening in the meals. This was a real treat. It was so do I make a Seder for just two mornings with my kids. We sang at casual and relaxing. Something that people?! Don’t get me wrong, I like the top of our lungs, it was so, so probably will never ever happen my husband and all, but being with beautiful. They were so into it. I was again now that we have a baby. This my children on Pesach, this is what so into it. year, we are going to my parents makes it so special. Miriam: Every year, I get all my kids and I’m looking forward to it. But I loved how we did last Pesach, just Miriam: matching outfits for each day. Last Every year on Pesach we the two of us. go away to my husband’s family in year, I have to say, not having that Florida. In all my years of marriage, Mrs. Schwartz: I missed the chaos. I we have never missed one Pesach missed the noise. I really did. I don’t with them. It’s wonderful because I'll be want any more quiet Pesachs. I am my kids get to spend time with their at a stage in my life where I can just grandparents and cousins who they sit back and enjoy my children and don’t see often and we get to be in cooking grandchildren without the headache nice warm weather. Obviously, that of raising them or disciplining them. wasn’t going to happen last year. with extra That enjoyment was taken away I had actually just had a baby, so from me last year. Baruch Hashem, between me and you, I was secretly simcha this I have it back. I’m so excited to happy we didn’t ‘have’ to go. have my home filled with everyone again this year. I’m so happy to be Sheina: We got married in February year! IF YOU cooking for my family again. I’ll be and moved into an apartment in cooking with extra simcha this year! Crown Heights. We were going to SEE A BUBBY If you see a bubby dancing around go to my parents in California for the kitchen, it’s me! Pesach but that wasn’t happening. DANCING I’m the youngest in my family and Meir: We always had guests on cooking is not really my thing. I’ve AROUND Shabbos and Yom Tov. Honestly, never actually ‘made Pesach’ in my it was a good distraction from life, although I was always around THE KITCHEN, having to deal with my kids. They to lend a hand. I was definitely get rowdy, they fight, they do the terrified. Baruch Hashem, my IT'S ME!" things kids do. When we have lots husband came up with the great of friends and family over, the kids idea to take a Pesach road trip and are distracted and we are distracted he cooks too, so that is also a plus. self-imposed pressure was amazing. so it’s great. Last year Pesach, we I bought them matching pajamas. Ari: I’m not from Crown Heights were forced to deal with the kids. It That’s as fancy as I got. I put so wasn’t easy. Fighting at the Seder, so staying in a cramped apartment much pressure on myself every year for Pesach did not excite me in the the meals. It was very challenging. to get them the perfect matching As nice as it was to have that quality least. I thought the best idea would outfits, it’s crazy. I know I don’t have be to take food with us and go on time, we need people around on to do it but it’s something I grew up Shabbos and Yom Tov. a road trip. We wouldn’t be stuck with and something I have always at home and we could rent Airbnbs done. Taking a break from that Rabbi Schwartz: I am so grateful to along the way. It worked out great. was so great. I’m actually jealous Hashem and I look forward to being Rabbi Schwartz: Pesach was quiet. I of the moms who are able to be surrounded by my children this year. davened at home. Just my wife and this relaxed about their kids’ outfits I look forward to it very much. I. It was peaceful and the Seder was every year.

Danit Schusterman is a certified Homeschooling & Educational Life Coach with over 20 years experience in the field of Education. She is a teacher in Beis Rivka Elementary school as well as a private tutor. She can be reached at [email protected]

Nissan 5781 Edition 11 4 STEPS TO BREAKING BAD HABITS Another appreciation of the 4 cups we drink during the Seder

By Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin

During the Pesach Seder, Tzedek. He viewed the 1. Stop we recount in detail the rabbinic instruction to drink plight of the Israelites as four cups of wine (or grape Hashem’s first expression of slaves in ancient Egypt, and juice for those who avoid redemption to the Israelites we celebrate their eventual alcohol) during the Seder as was, “I will take you out” of salvation. However, the a framework for achieving Egypt. Before you get clean, Seder is not just about personal freedom.2 you must get out of the mud. commemorating past events. The first step to breaking free Each cup was instituted to from a habit is to simply stop The Talmudic sage Rabban reflect another expression doing it. The Rambam says, Gamaliel II called upon us to Hashem used to promise “A sinner should abandon his include a personal element the Jews that they would sins,” and suggests that you in the rituals of the Seder. “In be rescued from Egypt and control your thoughts before every generation, a person become a nation with the they trigger a repeat offense.4 must see themselves as if they power to determine their own Immediately stop, even if you personally left Egypt,”1 he destiny.3 If we follow this path, have already gone at it again. instructed, leaving it to us to the Tzemach Tzedek writes, figure out how to make this it can lead us on a personal 2. Adopt ancient tale of redemption journey towards freedom from After the Israelites left Egypt, relevant to us today. any negative practices that they were ill at ease with hold us back. One suggestion was offered their new identity. Hashem by Rabbi Menachem Mendel Here is my personal promised: “I will save you,” of Lubavitch, understanding of those four 4 and supplied them with the third Rebbe of , steps to breaking bad habits, protective clouds of glory also known as the Tzemach based on Hashem’s 4 promises: and manna from the sky. The 12 COLlive Magazine4 STEPS ESSAY

second step on the path to 4. Internalize breaking free is to immerse yourself in an alternative, As the Israelites wandered positive reality. When through the desert, Hashem dropping an old habit, adopt promised them that He a new one to take its place would bring them to the and fill the void. Happiness Promised Land. Knowing researcher Gretchen Rubin that they would have a says that it is much easier to place to call their own form new habits after a change allowed them to establish in life. Adopt your new activity an emotional connection steadily and continuously so it with their new selves. This becomes the new you. positive emotional bond is reflected in the expression, 3. Rationalize “I will take you as a nation.” The fourth step on this path Hashem gave the Israelites is to not only rationalize and the holy Torah on Mount understand the person you Sinai as a roadmap to living want to become, but to also a meaningful life. The fully internalize the change expression, “I will deliver within you, because emotion Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin, Editor of COLlive. you,” alludes to the study of plays a big part in influencing com and COLlive Magazine, is the Torah, which spiritually and the decisions we make. outreach director of Chabad Tucson, and intellectually transforms you. associate rabbi of Cong. Young Israel The third step on this journey “Through the story we are of Tucson, Arizona. He coordinates the is to establish the ethical redeemed from Egypt,”5 annual Yarchei Kallah gathering of Chabad reasoning of your decision the Tzemach Tzedek once Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva. and an understanding of the commented. You have new person you are trying the power to make the to become. As the Israelites Passover narrative your own said after receiving the Torah, success story. “naaseh v’nishma” (“we will do and we will understand”). After you “do” by adopting a positive activity, the next step on the journey to change is learning and understanding.

1. Pesachim 116b. 2. Ohr HaTorah, Shemot, vol. 1, p. 185. 3. Exodus 6:6-7. 4. Mishneh Torah, Laws of Teshuvah, 2:2. 5. Rebbe Rayatz, eve of 20 Kislev 5692; Sefer Hamaamarim 5710, p. 197. 4 STEPS Nissan 5781 Edition 13 FLASHBACK

PESACH PREPARATION WITH THE REBBE From drawing mayim shelanu, distributing Shmura Matzah to selling and burning the chametz - a stunning gallery of the Rebbe in preparation for the holiday of Pesach JEM/The Living Archive

PRESENTED BY JEM

14 COLlive Magazine FLASHBACK

The Rebbe throws the Chametz into the furnace in the basement of 770.

JEM/The Living Archive

Nissan 5781 Edition 15 CATEGORY

A young Ari Matzah to Rabbi Gershon Halberstam receives Mendel Garelik – Shliach to Matzah from the Rebbe. Milan, Italy. 14 Nissan 5750

On Erev Pesach, the Rebbe would distribute A young child Matzah to shluchim to be shared with their receives Matzah guests at the Seder. 14 Nissan 5750 from the Rebbe.

Rabbi Leibel Groner makes a Matzah to Rabbi list of those who would receive Hirshel Raskin. Matzah directly from the Rebbe.

JEM/The Living Archive 16 COLlive Magazine FLASHBACK JEM/The Living Archive

Mayim Shelanu: The Rebbe draws water from a well outside 770, to be used for baking the Pesach Matzos.

Nissan 5781 Edition 17 DO MIRACLES BY RABBI ZALMAN I. POSNER STILL HAPPEN?

Discovering the wonders that are no less grand than the parting of the Red Sea

18 COLlive Magazine ESSAY

MIRACLES — the word itself is of the Red Sea, the manna in the hazy. Just what is a miracle? A world wilderness, the light that burned shocking event such as the parting in the Sanctuary for eight days of the Red Sea at the time of the (the miracle of Chanukah), and so Exodus? Or the constant human act forth—these are all miracles of the of breathing? Neither of these two second order. They did not entail phenomena can truly be explained, creation ex nihilo but merely change. but one of them is a familiar, ongoing Water, which is liquid, suddenly occurrence while the other is an exotic, behaves like a solid; this, in brief, is one-time happening. what happened when the Red Sea was parted to enable Israel to pass Let’s talk about miracles for a few through it on dry land. A quantity moments and see whether miracles of oil that normally can burn for have really ceased. only one-day burns for eight full days because its rate of combustion The greatest miracle of all is described has been slowed to one-eighth the in the opening words of the Book ordinary rate. This, in brief, is the of Genesis: “In the beginning, G-d story of Chanukah. As the Talmud created...” Suddenly, “nothing” was puts it, “He Who ordered oil to burn, transformed into “something.” We and it burns, will order vinegar to are all familiar with the transformation burn and it, too, will burn.” of matter into energy or of energy into matter, but each of these But there is yet a third order of changes involved a previously existing miracles—the miracles that are with us “something.” every day of our lives. The Sages teach us to “praise Him for every breath we Where “nothing” exists, there can draw.” We are to give thanks to G-d be no change. Creating ex nihilo— for our every heartbeat, for the smooth literally, “out of nothing”—is beyond performance of all our vital functions, man’s capabilities. This is a hurdle of and indeed for all the day-by-day acceptance that must be confronted workings of nature. at the outset. G-d, and G-d alone, can create. The miracle of creation is “But,” I hear someone protest, “that’s the miracle of the first order, beyond only nature!” duplication by man. The more familiar miracles described elsewhere in the Torah—the parting

Nissan 5781 Edition 19 Correct. perfectly consonant with Torah doctrine. What are the physical causes of thunder But the ordinary, the “natural,” the and lightning, of rainbows, floods, everyday and commonplace happenings earthquakes, eclipses and famines— in nature and in our bodies are no less indeed, of anything in the universe? the work of G-d’s hand than the parting An occurrence that seems to defy of the Red Sea and, for that matter, the explanation simply presents that much act of Creation itself. Thus we see that more of a challenge. “At the present miracles are indeed still taking place stage in our knowledge we cannot and, in fact, are happening all the time. adequately explain this phenomenon,” This, by the way, is the explanation of the scientist will note. But the fact the miracle of Purim, the deliverance of remains that, as a scientist, he must find the Jewish people from Haman’s wicked a “natural” explanation for whatever scheming: a succession of events which happens in the world in which we live. are not in themselves “supernatural,” Torah imparts a different perspective. a series of what appears to be mere From the vantage point of Torah, “coincidences” but which comes about everything is “supernatural”—including at a time when it can do, and does, the nature. Nature itself is a miracle, most good. created by the hand of G-d; without The Lubavitcher Rebbe once compared His charge, “Let there be…” it would the Torah perspective and the non- have remained nothingness. Do your Torah (we might call it, the “scientific”) lungs work properly? If so, give thanks perspective succinctly: the Torah to G-d for that. The natural functions of view seeks the supernatural in the your body have concealed within them natural; science seeks the natural in the hand of G-d; without Him, they the supernatural. The function of the would not continue. That tree and that scientist is to find reasons for all the sunset are not just a beautiful tree and phenomena of nature, a glorious sunset; they and then to apply “THE are the manifestation of his findings to all G-d Himself through His the natural events EVERYDAY creations. he subsequently These two perspectives, encounters. He sets HAPPENINGS science and Torah, are, out from the premise of course, not mutually that there is a reason IN NATURE exclusive. The physician for everything; he who is a Torah Jew will has faith in cause and AND IN OUR use all his professional effect. If an apparently skill to treat his patient, healthy man suddenly BODIES ARE and yet remain sufficiently falls sick and dies, the humble to recite some scientist cannot simply Tehillim (Psalms) as well. attribute it to the NO LESS THE Or, we might express inscrutable will of G-d. the same thought in His job is to find the WORK OF the reverse; the Torah cause of that illness, Jew who is a physician perhaps to cure others G-D’S HAND will offer prayers for stricken with a similar his patient, but at the disease, or perhaps to THAN THE same time employ all his prevent the disease medical skills to treat him. from striking others. PARTING OF Two different perspectives may both be valid. A Let it be emphasized physicist might see a that all this, in itself, is THE RED SEA” sunset as a refraction of

20 COLlive Magazine ESSAY light rays, while a painter might view the I would strike the river with a staff, and same scene as a cascade of colors. Reb the waters would part, and then, the Chaim Brisker observed a sunset on Yom next morning, I would indeed strike that Kippur and described it as the atoning river a mighty blow and the waters would power of the Day of Forgiveness slowly really part, what would you say? That G-d sinking below the horizon—an unusual sent me? That it was a miracle? Or would perspective but a perfectly valid one. you suggest that it was a trick which I performed with the aid of a ton of jello Miracles, certainly the miracles of nature, under the levee or some other sleight of are with us all the time. hand? Or, if we were to meet tomorrow But, repeating the original question, at that mountain in the Sinai Desert and why don’t “supernatural” miracles, the to hear a voice thundering forth from a miracles of the second order, happen cloud, would we declare that this must anymore today? be the voice of G-d, or would we suspect the presence of a hidden loudspeaker or Let us try to answer that question without some other gadget? entering into the various views on the purpose of the Biblical miracles. Take The question we should ask is not as our case in point the parting of the whether miracles do or do not happen Red Sea. We are told (Exodus 14:31) today, and why, but what effect miracles that Israel “beheld the hand of G-d” would have upon us. at the Red Sea. The Children of Israel Miracles show that G-d is Master over recognized the miracle for what it was. nature, over all the world. Miracles Those generations of the Biblical era to are a form of communication, but whom it was given to witness miracles communication needs two partners. To be had the capability of accepting them as sure, G-d can perform miracles, but how such, and of being impressed. would we react to them? Perhaps, when Then, these ancients implemented their we are ready for miracles when we are recognition of the “hand of G-d” by able to recognize a miracle when we see living in accordance with the “Word of one, it will be given us to witness miracles. G-d,” because they had experienced Him But then, is it really true that the kind of directly and personally. The generations miracles that are described in the Bible of antiquity lived in a pre-scientific age. never occur today? I am not a military G-d wanted to show them that there strategist, but how about the Six-Day War was a Power greater than the wealth and of 1967? The crossing of the Suez Canal? the chariots of Pharaoh, greater than the The Yom Kippur War? The Entebbe waves of the sea, and they were prepared rescue? And – deplorably overlooked – to learn the lesson which the miracle had the Scud attacks on Tel Aviv? I have read been intended to teach. many explanations for these events, but But people have changed since then. If frankly, I find it easier to perceive them we were to gather at the banks of the as miracles that reveal the hand of G-d Mississippi River today and I were to in the history of man than to accept the promise that, at dawn the next morning, “rational” explanations.

Rabbi Zalman I. Posner was a pioneer in the field of Jewish outreach and a trailblazing Chabad-Lubavitch Shliach in Nashville, Tenessee. A noted author and lecturer, he was a regular speaker at the Pegisha - Encounter with Chabad retreats popular through the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. Excerpted from “Think Jewish: A Contemporary View of , a Jewish View of Today’s World” (Kesher Press), a collection of eloquent and eye-opening essays originally published in 1978. This classic was recently republished and is available in bookstores and online

Nissan 5781 Edition 21 ly happy with my decision,” says If the Kleins were to, Heaven Forbid, author Victoria Dwek. “I wholeheart- hit their co-share maximum of Overwhelmed by your edly recommend it.” $8,000 United Refuah would then facilitate the sharing of 100% Remember the Kleins from the of additional eligible medical beginning of this article? They’re expenses (up to $1,000,000.00 healthcare expenses? the family who spent $37,000 a per incident). year on their healthcare expenses. This year, they signed up for United By the way, United Refuah Refuah’s family health sharing members are not limited YOU’RE NOT ALONE. program. to “in-network providers,” so the Kleins were able to use the Let’s take a look at their healthcare doctor and hospital of their choice expenses. Take the Kleins, for example. That’s where United Refuah Health- get our members access to the with generous reimbursement Yossi and Sarah Klein live in Crown Share comes in. As the first and only healthcare they deserve.” As a family of 6, the Kleins contrib- limits. Heights with their four beautiful Jewish health sharing organization, ute $499 per month to their United children. Like many families in our United Refuah’s mission is to provide So, how does health sharing Refuah ShareFund. So, whatever your healthcare Call United Refuah Today community, the Kleins struggle to the Jewish community with an af- actually work? We’ve broken it needs are - United Refuah might at 440.772.0700 or Visit balance their day-to-day expenses fordable healthcare option. That down below. When a member encounters a just be the right fit for you. together with tuition, mortgage, bills, means United Refuah members medical expense - say, the Kleins’ UnitedRefuah.org. The United Refuah sharing infra- and their healthcare expenses. And slash their healthcare expenses - daughter broke her leg - the expense Got questions? United Refuah’s structure is based on the monthly United Refuah empowers the Jewish what are their healthcare expenses? often by as much as ten or twenty is split amongst United Refuah team is on standby, ready to help. community nationwide to make health- sharing contributions of thousands A whopping $37,000 a year! thousand dollars a year! members. If the Kleins have met their And no worrying about wait times or care affordable through sharing. United of members from 27 states across pre-share, United Refuah members annoying hold music - their team’s Refuah is not an insurance company, the country. United Refuah Sounds extreme? It may, but it’s Before we explain “Health-Sharing share 80% of the total cost, and the average phone answer time is just and does not offer insurance. Sharing is members make low monthly con- subject to Sharing Guidelines. also incredibly common. Health- 101,” let us say one thing: the real Kleins pay 20% of the total cost. 20 seconds. tributions to their ShareFund based care expenses and tuition costs are secret to United Refuah’s success is on their family size. When a member typically a Jewish family’s greatest the fact that it’s a nonprofit organi- encounters a healthcare expense, financial pressures. And compro- zation. United Refuah was founded the funds in their ShareFund are mising on your family’s health - well, to meet a pressing need within first accessed to pay for those that’s just non-negotiable. the Jewish community. Since its United Refuah saves its average family between expenses. If the member does not inception, it has remained true to have sufficient funds in their own its original mission: providing the $10,000 - $20,000 on healthcare annually. ShareBox, the healthcare costs are Jewish community with an effective shared between other members, and affordable way to manage its resulting in dramatically lower healthcare expenses. Members’ healthcare costs and dramatical- costs are so low because there is ly higher satisfaction rates. So, not no unnecessary only do members save as much as overhead to tens of thousands of dollars a year, cover and no THE KLEIN FAMILY their monthly payments are directly New Monthly investors at the DOVID STERN Payment: $499 helping other Jewish members New Monthly top collecting Payment: $199 with their healthcare expenses. THE BERGERS profit. New Monthly In addition, sharing requests are Payment: $349 processed as quickly as the same “It’s an honor to be a part day they are received! of this mission,” says Moishe Katz, United United Refuah members are able to Refuah’s National save an incredible amount on their Director. “There’s a very annual expenses, without having to real sense of being compromise on their quality of care. able to provide for the klal savings of tens of “I joined United Refuah over two millions of dollars, and years ago, and have been complete- Call or chat today! We answer in 22 seconds or less. 440-772-0700 · URefuah.org · [email protected] ly happy with my decision,” says If the Kleins were to, Heaven Forbid, author Victoria Dwek. “I wholeheart- hit their co-share maximum of Overwhelmed by your edly recommend it.” $8,000 United Refuah would then facilitate the sharing of 100% Remember the Kleins from the of additional eligible medical beginning of this article? They’re expenses (up to $1,000,000.00 healthcare expenses? the family who spent $37,000 a per incident). year on their healthcare expenses. This year, they signed up for United By the way, United Refuah Refuah’s family health sharing members are not limited YOU’RE NOT ALONE. program. to “in-network providers,” so the Kleins were able to use the Let’s take a look at their healthcare doctor and hospital of their choice expenses. Take the Kleins, for example. That’s where United Refuah Health- get our members access to the with generous reimbursement Yossi and Sarah Klein live in Crown Share comes in. As the first and only healthcare they deserve.” As a family of 6, the Kleins contrib- limits. Heights with their four beautiful Jewish health sharing organization, ute $499 per month to their United children. Like many families in our United Refuah’s mission is to provide So, how does health sharing Refuah ShareFund. So, whatever your healthcare Call United Refuah Today community, the Kleins struggle to the Jewish community with an af- actually work? We’ve broken it needs are - United Refuah might at 440.772.0700 or Visit balance their day-to-day expenses fordable healthcare option. That down below. When a member encounters a just be the right fit for you. together with tuition, mortgage, bills, means United Refuah members medical expense - say, the Kleins’ UnitedRefuah.org. The United Refuah sharing infra- and their healthcare expenses. And slash their healthcare expenses - daughter broke her leg - the expense Got questions? United Refuah’s structure is based on the monthly United Refuah empowers the Jewish what are their healthcare expenses? often by as much as ten or twenty is split amongst United Refuah team is on standby, ready to help. community nationwide to make health- sharing contributions of thousands A whopping $37,000 a year! thousand dollars a year! members. If the Kleins have met their And no worrying about wait times or care affordable through sharing. United of members from 27 states across pre-share, United Refuah members annoying hold music - their team’s Refuah is not an insurance company, the country. United Refuah Sounds extreme? It may, but it’s Before we explain “Health-Sharing share 80% of the total cost, and the average phone answer time is just and does not offer insurance. Sharing is members make low monthly con- subject to Sharing Guidelines. also incredibly common. Health- 101,” let us say one thing: the real Kleins pay 20% of the total cost. 20 seconds. tributions to their ShareFund based care expenses and tuition costs are secret to United Refuah’s success is on their family size. When a member typically a Jewish family’s greatest the fact that it’s a nonprofit organi- encounters a healthcare expense, financial pressures. And compro- zation. United Refuah was founded the funds in their ShareFund are mising on your family’s health - well, to meet a pressing need within first accessed to pay for those that’s just non-negotiable. the Jewish community. Since its United Refuah saves its average family between expenses. If the member does not inception, it has remained true to have sufficient funds in their own its original mission: providing the $10,000 - $20,000 on healthcare annually. ShareBox, the healthcare costs are Jewish community with an effective shared between other members, and affordable way to manage its resulting in dramatically lower healthcare expenses. Members’ healthcare costs and dramatical- costs are so low because there is ly higher satisfaction rates. So, not no unnecessary only do members save as much as overhead to tens of thousands of dollars a year, cover and no THE KLEIN FAMILY their monthly payments are directly New Monthly investors at the DOVID STERN Payment: $499 helping other Jewish members New Monthly top collecting Payment: $199 with their healthcare expenses. THE BERGERS profit. New Monthly In addition, sharing requests are Payment: $349 processed as quickly as the same “It’s an honor to be a part day they are received! of this mission,” says Moishe Katz, United United Refuah members are able to Refuah’s National save an incredible amount on their Director. “There’s a very annual expenses, without having to real sense of being compromise on their quality of care. able to provide for the klal savings of tens of “I joined United Refuah over two millions of dollars, and years ago, and have been complete- Call or chat today! We answer in 22 seconds or less. 440-772-0700 · URefuah.org · [email protected] Wishes you and your family א כשר און פריילעכן פסח! Chevra Simchas Shabbos V'Yom Tov Feeding Crown Heights families since 1977

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6 x 8.85.indd 1 3/1/21 9:58 AM FIRST PERSON Wedding

Rabbi Yosef Kahanov and Rekindles a Yosef Hashimi Long Lost Friendship A Muslim

Father and the s a member of the Lubavitch his word. The family’s religious A community in Pittsburgh, few practice consisted of whatever Journey of His would know that Yosef Hashimi Elaine guided her husband to Son to Lubavitch is anything but a successful, do, including attendance at a Harvard-educated technology Conservative congregation in consultant. But in the wider world, Phoenix, and mandatory Friday By Dovid Zaklikowski he is identified as Sayed Yousef night meals during which phone Hashimi. Sayed is a name given to use was not permitted. Elaine male descendants of Muhammad, lit Shabbos candles, and Shirin the founder of Islam, and Yousef is put on a yarmulke for the meal. an Arabic variant of Yosef. He would also attend yom tov services, faithfully wearing a tallis Yosef was born in Kabul, and yarmulke. “My father raised Afghanistan in 1967 to a secular us with a strong Jewish identity Muslim named Shirin and an and taught us to be proud of our American Jew named Elaine. They yiddishkeit,” says Yosef. met in Tuscon, Arizona and made a pact that they would practice In 1985, Yosef had gone to Islam in Afghanistan, but if they study at Arizona State University moved to the , they (ASU) in Tempe, Arizona. At the would practice Judaism. beginning of his sophomore year, after a breakup, Yosef was Thus, for the first two years alone in his apartment, feeling of Yosef’s life, he was raised devastated. He realized that Muslim. Once the family he didn’t have friends whom moved to Arizona, Shirin kept he could turn to for support

Nissan 5781 Edition 25 That very same week, Yosef visited the new , arriving in time for mincha. Afterwards, the Shliach Rabbi Yosef Kahanov gave a short talk, repeating a sicha of the Rebbe on the parsha. “You are like a vessel,” the rabbi said, “and if you are filled with ego, there is no room for G-d. A Jew needs to be humble in order to make room for G-d within.” Yosef was floored. This was the exact thought that had been occupying him for weeks. After the Friday night davening, he walked over to Rabbi Kahanov and asked, “Do these teachings just tell you to be humble, or do they also during this difficult time. He was open to it. He had known teach you how?” The shliach, recalled, “upon reflecting of Chabad since his youth. retrieving a from the why it was that I had no true His father’s mechanic shop shelf, said, “This is the guide friends, I realized that I was would service the vehicle of to humility.” always going out of my way Rabbi Zalman and Tzippy Later that night, they sat down to let people know that I was Levertov, directors of Chabad to learn the first chapter of smarter than them; in return, Lubavitch of Arizona. Yosef Tanya together. By the time they made the simple and even attended a class taught they reached the end of obvious choice to not be by Rabbi Levertov as part of the chapter, he told Rabbi around a know-it-all.” his Hebrew school education. Kahanov, “My father is not The young college student resolved at that moment to change himself and become a humbler person. A few weeks later, he was hanging out with David Makowsky, his brother’s best friend, at the Hillel House. David asked him why he had never attended on Friday nights. Despite celebrating Shabbos dinners his entire life, Yosef said that he just did not connect to the services at Hillel. David told him then there was a newly-opened Chabad House near campus and Yosef

26 COLlive Magazine FIRST PERSON

Jewish and I simply cannot found their way to the Chabad “You don’t always relate to what it says here House at Boston University, and about non-Jews. We have to under the tutelage of Rabbi stop learning this.” Shmuel and Chanie Posner, see the fruits Yosef reconnected with his Without hesitation, Rabbi Jewish observance while Tamar Kahanov said there were plenty began her journey. of your labor, of other books of chassidus to learn from. From then on, All along, Yosef’s father the two mostly learned sichos has been supportive of his of the Rebbe together. Yosef choice to become a religious but this time we became a mainstay at the Jew. Shirin had told Yosef Chabad House, and began that when it comes to minor growing his connection to issues, it is normal for parents were blessed to yiddishkeit. On his way to to disagree, but when there Israel, in 1987, Yosef stopped are disagreements on larger in Crown Heights where matters, like religion, there wtiness it for he attended Yeshiva Hadar are three possibilities: the HaTorah for a week. There he child follows the mother, the participated in a father, or neither. Shirin was ourselves” with the Rebbe and joined the not willing for his children to Lag B’Omer parade outside choose neither, and reject G-d 770 . entirely. To him that would be the worst outcome possible. During that week, Yosef spent And so when Yosef started considerable time exploring becoming more observant, he that first chapter in Tanya. encouraged him to deepen his “I really delved into it, and I connection to Judaism. came to terms with the idea that there are different types of In fact, on the night before non-Jews. I learned that there his wedding to Tamar in is a place in Chassidus for my 1994, Yosef’s mother and father,” he recalled. grandmother advised him to enjoy the first few years of their A year later, Rabbi Yosef and marriage as a couple, and only Rivkie Kahanov moved to later have children. His father another Shlichus position in would have nothing to do with Florida, while Yosef graduated it and came up to him and college and started working said, “Son, give me as many in the professional world. grandkids as you can, as fast as He slowly drifted away from you can.” the Jewish observance he had recently been A year later, Yosef and Tamar practicing, although he always had their first of six children. maintained kashrus. They named their oldest son Gavriel, but did not give him In 1992, Yosef left Phoenix the first name Sayed. This did for graduate school, where not sit well with Shirin and he continued his studies at there was tension between Harvard University. There, Yosef father and son for about a and his would-be-wife Tamar year. This tension eventually

Nissan 5781 Edition 27 FIRST PERSON

evaporated and Elaine and Yosef and Rivkie Kahanov strengthen his spirit prior to Shirin settled into being also wanted to attend. Rabbi being diagnosed with the Bubby and Zaida Hashimi. Kahanov, Director of Chabad debilitating brain disorder. Lubavitch of Northeast Florida Rabbi Shemtov has since After living in Baltimore and in Jacksonville, has been a learned that his friend is , the Hashimis moved lifelong friend of the groom’s stubborn, “in a good way,” to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, father, Rabbi Yossie Shemtov, and does not let the disease in 2004, where they were Director of Chabad Tucson, get in his way. In the years attracted by the dual-track since their childhood in Crown following the diagnosis, curriculum at Yeshiva Schools Heights. the Kahanovs married off of Pittsburgh. several children, built a new But for Rabbi Kahanov, It was there that they were mikvah and Chabad House suffering from Parkinson’s introduced to Zev Rudolph, and authored a book “What disease for nearly a decade, CEO of McKnight Realty Chabad Really Believes.” After Partners, and weighing the his wife Lieba. pros and cons, Over the Rabbi Kahanov next fifteen decided to years, they embark on the became close long drive to family friends. the wedding. “Tamar and “I felt that I Lieba are like needed to sisters,” Yosef be with my says. When friend,” he the Rudolph’s said. daughter The wedding Mushkie got on a Thursday engaged in December to Yankie was a joyous Shemtov event, joining of Tucson, the two families Arizona, in from Pittsburgh September and Tucson 2020, the together in Hashimis were travel is incredibly arduous Florida. Both the Hashimis and overjoyed. and a rare undertaking. the Kahanovs were present at With the wedding scheduled the outdoor and later “The fact that it was the for winter, and COVID-19 at the wedding celebration but wedding of my closest friend’s restrictions moving the festivities had no idea of each other’s son, and in my home-state, outdoors, the families decided presence. made it a possibility,” he said. to hold the wedding in Aventura, “I probably would not have At Shabbos sheva brachos, the Florida. For the Hashimis, the even considered traveling Hashimis found a quiet table. Rudolphs were practically family, somewhere else.” When a couple joined them, and there was no question that they exchanged pleasantries they would attend. He remembered Rabbi and were soon conversing. Shemtov’s trip to spend Some 325 miles from where the While Yosef generally avoids Shabbos with him to wedding would be held, Rabbi talking about his background,

28 COLlive Magazine FIRST PERSON

one of the people at the Rabbi Kahanov recalled. He concluded, “When you table asked him where he People nearby were deeply are a shliach, you make a was originally from and Yosef touched by the sight and the lot of sacrifices in life, and began sharing his life story friendship that was rekindled. sometimes there are few with them. “It is a beautiful story,” said opportunities to derive Mrs. Rudolph, “and we were satisfaction from your efforts. He told them of his early fortunate that the vessel was I am glad that the Aibeshter exposure to Chabad back at through our simcha.” gave me a chance to rectify Arizona State University, where this and give my thanks to the couple named Kahanov Mrs. Kahanov says that it was the Shluchim who completely were Shluchim at the time, and a humbling experience for changed my life.” n had set him on the path to them. “As Shluchim,” she said, Torah observance. “sometimes you need to push yourself to reach out to that one “You mean Rabbi Yosef and person who may come to just Rivkie Kahanov? They are one event. You don’t always get here!” the man said. to see the fruits of your labor, Seeing the bewilderment on but this time we were blessed Hashimi’s face, the people at to witness it for ourselves.” the table explained that Rabbi In Chicago, David Makowsky Kahanov is close friends with said that it was not the norm the groom’s family, and while for him to bring people to I realized that I was he normally does not travel, the Chabad House. “I entirely he came especially to this " forgot that I had taken Yosef wedding. Yosef was shocked. always going out of my to the Chabad House. In fact, He had not been in contact I still don’t remember it.” With with the Kahanovs since they that, he said, it seemed a way to let people know left Tempe in 1988. minor act to bring someone to He rushed over to the table a Chabad House, but in fact, it that I was smarter where the Kahanovs were turned out to be a huge factor sitting, and simply said, “Hi in Yosef’s return to Judaism. Rabbi, it’s me, Yosef Hashimi.” Makowsky has learned to than them; in return, Rabbi Kahanov was stunned never look at anything that no less than Yosef was. He had happens in life as insignificant. they made the simple heard years prior that Yosef For Yosef Hashimi, the lesson had become religious, but he was that of appreciation. was not expecting to see a full- and obvious choice to “I was negligent in never fledged bearded Lubavitcher in reaching out to Rabbi a hat and kapota. Kahanov and his wife to not be around a The two emotionally express my hakaras hatov,” embraced and began he said, “but I am grateful know-it-all. reminiscing about their past that Hashem finally gave me together. “It was a very the opportunity to express overwhelming experience,” my thanks.”

Dovid Zaklikowski, is a biographer and storyteller. His latest book is “Story Bites: Short Stories to Savor.” His books are available on HasidicArchives.com, Amazon or at your local Judaica store. He could be reached at [email protected].

Nissan 5781 Edition 29 BY Raizel Schusterman

Every child needs an advocate and there’s already someone appointed to that position - YOU!

Rabbi Shais Taub has been a recent guest on “A Positive Podcast,” which I have the pleasure of hosting, as part of the conversations which take the proven methodologies of positive psychology to give listeners examples and deeper insights on how to practically apply them in their own lives. Rabbi Taub is a familiar face and voice on COLlive.com as he delivers a steady and poignant stream of lectures and classes on Torah and Chassidus to the masses. He writes a popular weekly column in Ami Magazine and is the author of the bestselling book, “G-d of Our Understanding: Jewish Spirituality and Recovery from Addiction,” as well as several groundbreaking works on the Alter Rebbe’s Tanya. He currently serves as a scholar-in-residence at Chabad of the Five Towns in Cedarhurst, NY, where he lives with his wife and children. On the podcast, Rabbi Taub led an incredibly powerful and insightful conversation on the topics of mental health, recovery and addiction and raising the sensitive souls that struggle. Here is an excerpt of his thoughts on education:

30 COLlive Magazine CHINUCH

is eternal. It’s true at all times get older. It gets harder and Why does and in all places. I know more complicated. If they feel certain things are constant. everything poignantly and Hashem Certain things are always profoundly then the more stuff true. And that is, it was always going on in their life, the more give people difficult to be in this world. pain they feel. It doesn’t even 2,000 years ago, the sages matter if life is good for them. mental health concluded that it’s better not They may have great parents to be born. It was always a and a stable life, but stimulus challenges? rough ride to be down here, is stimulus. And if all stimulus although the details may vary. is overwhelming to them, they Rabbi Taub: Asking why In some generations, it was can become overwhelmed and Hashem does what He does is the inquisitions, the pogroms exhausted just from nice and a philosophical question. We and the Holocaust, and in pleasant things. need to start from the premise other generations, it’s poverty that life is challenging. Life is These are the children that and starvation. Today we have full of experiences that really profoundly struggle. What our own troubles. But the feel insurmountable, and we we need to do for these point is that there have always shouldn’t be crushed by that. children is the same thing been troubles. We’re in Galus. There is a pain we need to be doing for all in every family. There is a pain There are some people of our children. We need to in every individual’s life. The for whom existence itself give them a true spiritual only question today is the is traumatic. Embodiment education. We need to start degree, how much pain. What is the trauma. For all of us, the spiritual training young. I am saying is, until Moshiach embodiment is traumatic for It has to be profound. It has comes, don’t be so surprised the soul. The only thing is, to be based on personal that we have profound most people have other things experience. It has to be down challenges. That’s what we’re going on in their lives to cover to earth, and it has to be here for. the trauma. And so they don’t accessible. We need to use feel that profound disruption stories. We have wonderful Hashem is totally in control of being separate from G-d, stories in our tradition that and knows exactly what He’s separate from the Oneness. can bring across deep doing, and somehow, in ways They don’t feel that because concepts. Parables that bring that I can’t explain, these they have other things to across deep concepts and challenges that are happening distract them from it. There are these are the tools for living. now are essential to the the so-called ‘normal people.’ These are simply tools for process that needs to happen survival in this world. in order for the world to Then there are other people become what the world needs who feel it more profoundly In regard to sensitive to become. This is not a bug. and they have symptoms children, the experience of It’s a feature. It’s not like ‘oh like being extra sensitive and being at your threshold is a no, there is something wrong.’ introspective and have that universal experience. The This is what’s supposed to feeling of terminal uniqueness only difference is that it takes happen. It’s supposed to - ‘no one really gets me’. us all a different amount of be hard. Because we are They feel lonely in a crowded time to hit that threshold. supposed to fix it. room. Always wanting to The question is not when you feel a part of, but instead hit it, but when you hit your I’m not a mental health feeling apart from. They are threshold what tools do you professional. I’m a Rabbi. struggling just to be. And have and what self-awareness The stuff that I’m trained in life doesn’t get easier as you do you have?

Nissan 5781 Edition 31 be in an environment that is What role do not emotionally supportive- trapped for 8 hours a day, “these schools and trapped with someone who is not emotionally supportive teachers have and you’re going to force him challenges to be subjected to that? Why? in all of this, Because you don’t want him to look like he has issues? that are in helping Trust me, the issues he’s getting from that experience to deal with are going to come out in the end, and then you’re going happening now the sensitive to be dealing with much bigger issues. So I think we emotionally collectively need to be bigger are essential advocates for our children struggling and we shouldn’t feel like child? such captive customers. to the process I’d like to stress: I don’t Rabbi Taub: In this regard, blame the schools because schools are part of the I could never run a school that needs to problem, not part of the myself. I totally get why solution. And a big problem most schools are basically is that parents are complicit one-size-fits-all. Schools are happen in order because of fear and because greatly underfunded and of social pressure and we greatly understaffed. ‘This is would rather do what’s normal what we offer, this is what we or what appears normal do, if it works for you, great, for the world than do what’s good for if it doesn’t work for you, our children. And here’s the I’m sorry. We can’t change thing: When things blow up, it.’ I understand that and I to become then we’re forced to take the forgive them for that. What I “alternative” path anyway think needs to change is the and everybody knows about parents who say, ‘Well, the what the our problem. school is only offering one style. My child clearly isn’t Why couldn’t we have taken benefiting from that style, the alternative path earlier? but I’m going to force this world needs ‘G-d forbid to pull a child square peg into this round out of school if he doesn’t hole anyway, just so we don’t have a supportive teacher,’ appear weird.’ one thinks. ‘If I pull him out to become. This of school, It’ll look weird.’ My question to the parent But what if he doesn’t have a is are you willing to sacrifice supportive teacher and there your child at the altar of social is not a bug. aren’t other options? Are you norms? When it’s posed to going to force a child who you that way, no parent is is already highly sensitive to going to say “yes.” It’s a feature.”

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And parents will ask, what There is no loyalty there. I’m work really hard to provide do you want me to do? Pull saying these things in a very everything we can to them, him out? Where is he going hyperbolic way and perhaps the tools for living, self- to go? My answer is: You in an overly intense way just awareness, a relationship are his parent. It’s your job because I feel people need with G-d. We have to protect to take care of him. ‘Well, permission to act on this so them from stuff like a school I have to work,’ will be the I just want to be really, really that’s not the right fit and be reply. But why do you have overly clear about it. their biggest advocate. At to work? So you can pay the same time, with all that It could be that in one family, tuition. This is a ridiculously hishtadlus, it’s Hashem’s child one child does very well in vicious cycle. You’re going to and we don’t control the the conventional system and send him to a school where outcome. So we need a lot of another child does not. You’re being unsupported is trauma. hard work and a lot of faith at not doing him any favors by You’re going to pay for that the same time. Basic Judaism pushing him through. And not eventually, a lot more than the really, but this forces us to only that, not only can two missed work. take basic Judaism seriously. siblings not have the same Let’s talk about the price needs, one child may not that you end up paying. First have the same needs from of all, the sleepless nights. year to year. It could be that How do you even put a price this year, what the school is Raizel Schusterman, a Chabad tag on that? Your child’s offering works for my child. Shlucha, is program director misery, you’re going to put a Next year it doesn’t and you at Chabad of Peabody Jewish price tag on that? And then have to be confident enough Center in Massachusetts, there are actual quantifiable to say, ‘I’m sorry, I’m not here where she lives with her expenses - the doctors and to spare anyone’s feelings. husband and 7 children. the treatment facilities. That I’m here to protect my child. She is certified in Applied adds up real quick, a lot more The fourth-grade teacher is Positive Psychology (CAPP) expensive than taking off a great, the fifth-grade teacher by the Flourishing Center and few years to homeschool your isn’t. I’m not sending him to has counseled individuals, child because you can’t find the fifth-grade teacher in this couples and parents, guiding the right fit and you’re not school. I’m not here to spare them in their marriages, going to force him into the your feelings. I’m here to save parenting and navigating their wrong fit. my child’s life.’ lives in a more meaningful You have to be the Every single soul is different. manner. She can be reached compassionate person in Every single soul has a at www.apositivecoach.com your child’s life. You are your different story that it was sent child’s parent, G-d gave you here to live out and being a job. You have to be their a parent is an awesome advocate, you have to be responsibility. It is to play their champion. Be on their a supportive role in that side. If the school works for story. We have to be our you, great. You have to be a children’s advocates. We user. If the school works for have to provide them with me and my child, I’ll pay the every possible resource and money for them to offer me at this very same time, we the thing that they do. If it have to realize that we’re stops working for me and my not in control. That’s the child, I owe them nothing. tough paradox. We have to

Nissan 5781 Edition 33 2 ads_Layout 1 9/1/2020 8:21 PM Page 2

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www.sbaloangroup.com ALIYA He latermarried people strengthen theiryiddishkeit. of supportingandhelpingyoung the pathtowards hisultimategoal Pennsylvania, andfeltlikehewason in theYeshiva Barre, inWilkes As abochur, heworkedasaShliach would buildaJewishcommunity. his future shlichus,andthewayshe would oftenimaginethelocationof dreamed ofalifeShlichus.He Avenue, catered toyoung men of asmallstorefront onAlbany Adults. Theprogram, basedout InstituteforYoungLearning an acronym forAlternative initiated theALIYA Institute; So in2001MosheandSaraFeiglin were neededinCrown Heights. concluded andunderstoodthatthey was unmistakable,theFeiglins another. TheRebbe’s message Continue whatyouare doing, read read oneoftheRebbe’s letters. baffling. Stayinthecommunity, Igros Kodesh,theyfound theanswer a location.Whentheyopenedthe wrote totheRebbeforguidanceon On numerous occasions,theFeiglins shlichus. a permanent young coupleworkedonfinding by night.Simultaneously, the day, Barre alumni andwithWilkes inkollelbyHecht), andlearned remember, Rabbi From asfarbackhecould of Crown Heights The OriginalIn-Reach Shul created. Here are themostrecent shulsfeatured. the localshuls,drivingforces behindthemandthecommunitiesthey launched oncommunitynewsserviceCOLlive.comfeaturingprofiles of theimmensegrowth oftheshechuna,anewseries“OurShuls”was With Moishe Feiglin Sara (nee

run the Friday night meals at Aliya. run theFridaynightmeals at Aliya. children sothatherhusband can Friday nightmealsalonewith the In fact,Mrs.Feiglinoftenconducts Shabbos andYom Tov. homemade mealsfortheboyson Mrs. Feiglinprepares delicious and maintenancemanager, while as chef,gymmanager, handyman, Rabbi door,” saysYossi Vogel. from theArtisanBakehouse next tefillin, therabbiwillbuyhimameal “If somebodystopsbyandputson accepted exactlythewaytheyare. with theknowledgethattheyare will notbejudged,andtheythrive positivity. Theboysknowthatthey The atmosphere inAliyaisoneof home onEastNewYork Avenue. before Aliyafounditspermanent in Brooklyn Heights.Itwasn’t long reception, Aliyaopenedayeshiva Spurred toactionbytheenthusiastic “and wewere packedallTishrei.” “We startedinElul,”saysFeiglin, minyanim forShabbosandYom Tov. the SholomSeniorCenterfor out oftheinitialspace.Theyrented received, andtheyquicklygrew The Aliyashulwasextremely well- they nolongerattended. uncomfortable inothershulsthat the community. Manyfeltso couldn’t findtheirplacewithin ages eighteenandolderwho with individuals. programs one-on-one andlearns runs the night Mendy Baitzrunsthenight acts Nissan Russelacts Nissan 5781Edition 35

our COMMUNITY shuls During the initial coronavirus outbreak during weekly self-help groups for the younger boys. Pesach and Sukkos, together with the Feiglin The need for strong connections and support children, she prepared luxury meals and Pesach within the immediate community is critical for seder kits which were delivered to Aliya boys who young men to thrive and feel connected. The were unable to attend a Seder. Before Shavuos, Mentor Me program was instituted in memory she whipped up a complete milchig and fleishig of one beloved member who passed away. “We package for each boy. “My wife is the unsung hero train the boys to be there for someone else and of Aliya,” says Rabbi Feiglin. to be coaches for others,” Rabbi Feiglin says. The robust schedule at Aliya includes a daily Aliya also gives therapist referrals, and has a fund Lunch n’ Learn, and programs every night. for victims of sexual abuse. Staples include a Thursday night farbrengen and Aliya actively seeks jobs for its members. “We a weekly class taught by Rabbi Noteh send out Whatsapp messages for jobs,” he says. Shemtov, a full-time rabbi and who also “And they are snatched up within minutes.” Aliya works one-on-one with the boys. The yiddish members have found jobs ranging from cashier, class is arranged by Nissan Russell. “We learn office jobs, construction, and more. books in yiddish and then we learn a maamar,” says Russell. “It has 100% improved our ability to Since its inception, Aliya alumni have become learn .” professionals and leaders in their fields. The current crowd on Shabbos includes fifteen-year- Aliya’s popularity has increased steadily over the olds and men through the late thirties. “They years. They currently house a division for men have been with us since the beginning,” Feiglin eighteen-years and up, plus a division for boys says of the older crowd. “The original crew still 15-18 years old. Yosef Halevi meets with the comes and supports us.” school-aged boys after school and for Sunday evening events, and Moshe Chanin conducts Feiglin attends between ten and fifteen alumni

36 COLlive Magazine COMMUNITY weddings yearly. “Our biggest pride is celebrating at weddings of our alumni,” he says. Aliyah continues to support the boys ST through this new stage of life by offering 91 STREET SHUL chosson classes each week. They also fundraise for the new couple, and secure the Rebbe’s kapota and kittel for the chosson. Shul for a Blossoming Neighborhood Moshe and Sara even walk the chosson to It was 2015, and three young Crown Heights couples were ready the chuppa if he has no parents to do so. to settle down with their families. The chapter of marriage provided Aliya After searching for homes, they discovered that it was nearly with a new challenge. “The men want their impossible to find an affordable home in the area. But they wives to feel comfortable here,” Feiglin didn’t give up and after months of searching, they finally found says. This inspired a massive renovation. affordable, spacious homes where they could see themselves In addition to a new paint job, the living for years to come. building now boasts high ceilings, stylish chandeliers, a cozy lounge area, and an But there was a catch. The houses were not exactly located in elegant women’s section. Crown Heights. They were located on 91st Street in Remsen Village; a healthy twenty-five minute walk from 770. At the time, Aliya members are proud of their shul, and there were only two other Jewish families living in the area. celebrate there for l’chaims, brissin, sholom Additionally, walking to shul meant a trek to and from Crown zochors, and other milestones. During Heights for shacharis, mincha, and maariv. the summer months, Aliya rents the newly renovated deck out for smaller events. The pioneers accepted the challenge. “People don’t like jumping into water,” said one of the men named Dovid, “But when people The building boasts two music rooms and do, others follow.” The families didn’t expect to see other Jewish hosts music classes two times a week. One neighbors for another ten years, so they were pleasantly surprised notable music teacher was well-known when only four months later, another Jewish family joined them drummer, Shlomo Recu. Many successful on 91st Street. bands first met up in the Aliya music rooms. And it didn’t stop there. Every few months, a moving truck would Nissan Russell runs the gym, where boys are pull up alongside a minivan holding another large Jewish family. welcomed to pursue fitness goals and let off Soon, the children were having playdates within walking distance steam. “Physical, emotional and spiritual are from home. In just under a year, there were enough families to critical to well being are all important,” says create their very own community minyan. Feiglin. The gym includes a punching bag, numerous treadmills and bikes, racks filled It was time to work on a shul. Yossi Blachman, Yehuda Shaffer, with free weights, and six weight machines. and Dovid Jacobs joined to form the board of Bais Avrohom Yitzchok – named after Jacobs’s brother a”h, and Moshe Pape’s The mission to help local boys continues. father-in-law, a”h. The newly minted board members borrowed “We are renovating the basement and we a Sefer Torah and for a year and a half, they held minyanim in want to build a small mikvah exclusively for Pape’s home. Aliya boys,” Feiglin says. There are also plans to expand the building, and build a state-of- By 2017, the minyan had doubled in size and the Pape home the-art kosher gym for the community. could no longer hold all of the men. The Jacobs family decided to hold the official Remsen Village minyan in their basement. So what is Aliya exactly? Is it a shul? Or is it a school? Or is it a drop-in center for those Today, Bais Avrohom Yitzchok boasts a women’s section complete who need an open heart and encouraging with children and family programs. Over two hundred people word? Aliya is all of those things, and attend their parties on Chanukah and Purim. The shul holds a more.”It’s a Chabad House for boys in family meal on Shmini Atzeres and Simchas Torah, and one family Crown Heights,” says Feiglin. “We call it in the area sponsors peklach for all of the kids. in-reach.”

Nissan 5781 Edition 37 There is always a lively farbrengen on Simchas Torah. In two separate instances on the Yom Tov, all of the men in the shul created a “beis din” to decree that Hashem should bless a childless couple with children. In both cases, the couples were blessed with children that very year. Every motzei Shabbos, the shul is alive with the sounds of boys learning with their fathers for Avos U’bonim. Bais Avrohom Yitzchok is also the original home of N’shei Chabad of Remsen Village which creates weekly shiurim and monthly programs for women in the area. “The nice thing about the shul,” said Tzivi Jacobs, “is that people feel comfortable here. It’s full of all kinds of people who happen to live in the same area. It’s very inclusive and everyone is welcome.” In fact, the shul is so welcoming that its congregants are practically spilling out of its current location. “We really can’t fit anymore,” said Dovid Jacobs. “We want to have more kids programs during Shabbos davening, a larger women’s section, and a men’s mikvah in the shul building.” The current board members – which now include Avrohom Bazes, Yossi Blachman, Shloimy Zellermaier, Dovid Jacobs, and Yankel Raskin – are actively searching for a house in the area so they can create a shul that is double in size. Since its early days of floundering for a basement to hold the bare minimum of a minyan, Bais Avrohom Yitzchok has come a long way. The shul that welcomes all families in Remsen Village and beyond, is finally getting the expansion it deserves.

ITCHKE’S SHTEIBEL

A Tale of Two Shuls Blachman joined forces with Rabbi Levitin, and together they went door-to-door, raising $10,000 and adding many This is the story of two shuls. One shul was very old, and new members. the other was fairly new. It is a tale about how two vastly different shuls united to create a strong community shul Later, the Rebbe sent five $10.00 bills in support of which is currently the spiritual life-force for hundreds of the shul’s Membership Breakfast. Then and there, the Crown Heights families. shul board granted the Rebbe and Rebbetzin a lifetime membership. The story begins in a shul called the Maple Street Shul/ Ahavas Moshe. The shul opened in the 1930s, but by One zayin Adar, in honor of the shul’s yearly melavah 1974 its membership was rapidly dwindling, putting it on malkah, the Rebbe made a l’chaim at a farbrengen, and the verge of termination. “There was a custom of selling shared it with the shul members. The Rebbe stressed the shuls to churches,” says Eli Blachman, the shul president. significance of the name Ahavas Moshe, pointing out the The Rebbe directed Blachman to reinvigorate the shul and shul’s connection with Moshe Rabbeinu. save it from closing. Shul members fundraised tirelessly, and arranged many

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concerts which included the musical talent of Avrohom Fogelman takes pride in the deep sense of community Fried, Shneur Zalman Baumgarten, Chazzan Malovany, of the shul. “It’s a living hub,” he says. Fogelman gives Jo Amar ob”m, and Moshe Yess ob”m. a shiur in Ein Yaakov every Tuesday night. He learns with mispallellim on Friday night, and imparts a vort But after many years, Maple Street shul members so that everyone can share the words of Torah at the began to move out of the area, and some began Shabbos table. Rabbi Fogelman learns a maamer with davening in other Crown Heights shuls. It seemed like shul members and imparts a Rebbe story on the long the shul was to become a relic of the past. shabbosim of summer. There is a farbrengen on every But this was not to be. yoma dipagrah. One Shabbos afternoon in 2008, Moishe Chanin found The shul is growing by leaps and bounds. “We have himself yearning for a place to daven and feel inspired. valet stroller parking on Yom Tov,” Rabbi Fogelman But he didn’t feel comfortable going to any of the shuls says. “On Shavuos we gave out 200 tickets.” in Crown Heights. “I’m not ok being ok with not having Rabbi Fogelman is known to reach out to shul a shul,” he thought. members. He checks in on them when they miss shul That shabbos, Moishe and his brother Mendy Chanin and asks about their well-being. He facilitates and met up with a friend. They decided to gather some classmates to create their own minyan. The colleagues rented a basement on Albany Avenue and had their first minyan just in time for slichos before Rosh “I GREW UP OUT Hashana. The minyan’s growth was unexpected; forty men were packed into the basement to daven together OF TOWN, AND I that Rosh Hashana. “The basement was raw,” says Chanin. “It was just REALIZED THAT bricks. Somebody generously donated thousands of dollars to renovate it.” The shul was named Itchke’s PEOPLE IN CROWN Shteibel in memory of Chanin’s grandfather, Itchke Gansburg ob”m. HEIGHTS WERE With Chanin’s goal realized, the members of Itchke’s Shteibel now looked forward to davening together LACKING A WARM every shabbos and Yom Tov. Sunday morning minyanim featured a breakfast, and the group met every Thursday COMMUNITY” night for a shiur and farbrengen with Rabbi Mendy Wolf. Various guest rabbis were also invited to farbreng encourages mispallelim to strengthen their yiddishkeit. at Itchke’s each week. Rikal Fogelman, wife of Rabbi Fogelman, is extremely One Chai Elul, Rabbi Chaim Fogelman farbrenged with warm to the women of the shul. She welcomes the mispallellim. “He loved the shul, and we loved him, newcomers, and is always there to lend a listening ear so we asked him if he would come back,” says Chanin. to shul members. Rabbi Fogelman accepted, and he has been the official Miriam Silberstein, whose husband has been a shul rabbi of Itchke’s Shtiebel since 2010. “When I came, member for years, realized the need for women- there were thirty mispallellim. Now, we have close to focused programs. “I grew up out-of-town,” she says, 200 on Yom Tov,” he says. “and I realized that people in Crown Heights were lacking a warm community.” By 2012, Itchke’s Shteibel had completely outgrown their space, and they were looking for a larger location. Silberstein decided to create a woman’s auxiliary. “When At that time, Maple Street was in need of revitalization. the woman is connected to the shul, it becomes a Members of both shuls were eager to merge, seeing family shul,” she says. Now, she arranges beautiful and that the convergence would be a win for both parties. meaningful programs for the women of Itchke’s Shtiebel.

Nissan 5781 Edition 39 Past programs include a two-part series about Bentzi Cousin is a member of the board, along with Taharas Hamishpacha by the renowned speaker Sarah Sruly Creeger, Yaniv Bazel, and Zeev Albaliya. “We Karmely, a Challah Bake with Rabanit Iris Odani have a lot of new members joining our shul,” he says. Elyashiv, and a Night in Color with Color and Style He is proud of the children’s programs, women’s Specialist Chanchi Milecki. programs, and parties for Chanukah and Purim. Itchke’s Shteibel offers four separate children’s The shul is always looking for more new members programs every Shabbos morning, categorized by and has big goals for the future. There are plans for age group. “We have girls who are 8-12 years old who afterschool programs and the building of their very feel connected and want to go to shul,” Silberstein own Mikvah within the next few years. The struggling shul that once faced termination time after time, has says. An exciting Chassidus shiur is offered to young established itself as a thriving community center for bochurim every Shabbos morning, and there is an every member of the family. Itchke’s Shtiebel holds a aliyah program for the younger boys which is laden place for all who would like to join its warm atmosphere with prizes and lively incentives. filled with positivity and love for yiddishkeit.

MERKAZ SEFARAD

Home For Sephardim Away From Hometown Dan Shimon was raised in a large, warm Israeli family. He remembers getting dressed in his finest and skipping to shul with his brothers and sisters. Once there, he would watch the chazzan open the Torah, which was encased in gold. Dan sat open-mouthed, enraptured by the chazzan’s chanting of the Torah. When Dan moved to Crown Heights, he visited many shuls, but couldn’t find one that felt comfortable. “The customs and nusach in the shuls were so different from those at home,” he says. In fact, the shuls felt so unfamiliar to Dan, he gave up on them altogether. But one day, Rabbi Gad Bouskila of the Morrocan Jewish community in Flatbush, told Dan about a shul in Crown Heights called Merkaz Sefarad. After making contact with Rabbi Lazer Avtzon, the rov of the shul, he showed up and found his spiritual home. “The people at the shul became like family,” Dan says. “We do seudat Shabbat together and help each other. If I come to shul late, the Rabbi asks me if I’m ok.” Cong. Merkaz Sefarad Chabad was established in 2005 by Rabbi Avtzon and his wife, Sarah Avtzon, PhD. Both have close ties to Morrocan Jewish tradition – she was born and raised there, while he served as a Shliach there in 1983. Since their marriage in 2000, the Avtzons would spend Tishrei and Pesach in Morocco and assumed they would be moving there on Shlichus.

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Heights,” says Niso, a local resident who is originally from Turkey. “THE “My wife and I moved to Crown Heights two years ago. At home, the community was 99% Sephardic. The customs that we kept were CUSTOMS from Spain, Morocco, and Tunisia.” The crowd in shul reminds Niso of his hometown. “I value having AND NUSACH something from my roots. The shul is not a big one, but it feels warm and family-like which is something I was looking for in a minyan.” Women also enjoy coming to Shul. Pre-pandemic, there were IN THE SHULS between seven to twelve women in the women’s section on Shabbos. Rochel Ohayan, who hails from Morocco, attends Merkaz Sefarad WERE SO every week. “The rabbi always notices when someone isn’t at shul,” she says. “He calls to see how we are doing. Families invite each DIFFERENT other over for Shabbos and yom tov. This shul is home.” FROM THOSE Or shall we say, a home away from their hometown. BACK HOME”

Following the passing of the long-time Shliach in Casablanca, Rabbi Leibel Raskin OBM, an offer was made to the Avtzons to relocate. When things didn’t move in that direction, Rabbi Avtzon learned a sicha in which the Rebbe said that a person should not hold himself back from doing Shlichus just because he was not personally called up to do so by the Rebbe. Then and there, Rabbi Avtzon decided to take the initiative and open a shul for the Moroccan Jewish community in Crown Heights; and a new Sephardic shul was born. Merkaz Sefarad caters to Sephardic families who wish to maintain their culture and nusach. Congregants hail from Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria, France, Iran, Iraq, Syria, Egypt, and Israel. The nusach of davening, kerias hatorah and all halachos follow the Sephardic laws in the Moroccan customs. The chazzan and baal koreh follow Moroccan liturgy. Unique to this shul are the active commemorations of both Sephardic and Chassidic special days in the Jewish calendar. They mark the yartzeits (or hilulah, as it is called) of the Baba Sali, the great posek Rabbi , as well as of Rabbi Shlomo Matusof, the first Shliach sent by the Rebbe to Morocco. And this is in addition to the special Chassidic dates of Yud Tes Kislev and , for example. “It’s the most Sephardic minyan in Crown

Nissan 5781 Edition 41

BRIDGEA DISRESPECTFUL LETTER THE AND THE REBBE’S UNEXPECTED RESPONSE TO IT

By Dovid Zaklikowski

A supporter of Chabad in “Only the Rebbe can represent respond to name-calling, and a Charlotte, North Carolina, Chabad and every person meeting would be pointless: was upset. There was a could write to the Rebbe,” public dispute going on Rabbi Yossi Groner replied. “No doubt you know that the between several national article to which you refer is one Mr. Goldberg took to Jewish organizations that of a series of diatribes, which writing directly to the Rebbe inexplicably had not aroused a Photos courtesy of Lubavitch Archives he felt was unnecessary and describing the situation and unbecoming. While he had reaction similar to yours within stating his desire that the refrained from attacking the the movement. This could only groups involved should find a other organizations, Chabad imply “consent by silence” on way to coexist peacefully and had taken a strong stance in the part of the leadership, who have a meeting. The Rebbe defense of Jewish law. surely were aware of the nature wrote back a cordial letter, and tone of the said diatribes, Mr. Goldberg (not his real “Many thanks for the spiritual including the quotation which name) supported many of satisfaction which your letter was eventually vehemently Chabad’s programs in the area brought me, seeing that denied, etc. and allowed the camp, Gan someone has finally reacted Israel, to use the pool on his to a spate of anti-Lubavitch “It is not my policy -far family’s large estate. “There has attacks in the media and from it- to reply to what is to be a stop to it,” he told the otherwise.” euphemistically called “name- Shliach Rabbi Yossi Groner. He calling.” I will therefore But in a long letter on 25 Teves, wanted Chabad to compromise be as brief as possible, 1985, the Rebbe said that for the sake of Jewish unity. especially since if I were to Chabad, as a rule, does not

42 COLlive Magazine STORY

BRIDGE THE GAP

Rabbi Leibel Groner accompanies the Rebbe to 770

get into specifics, the list aggressive minority within suggested meeting would would be too long. I must the leadership, with a silent be quite pointless. Firstly, say that while I appreciate majority that tacitly follows the because the reasons for the your strong reaction to minority, not really knowing abovementioned attacks the particular article, I am what is going on. against Lubavitch and somewhat surprised to indeed, against orthodoxy “Moreover, from sources note from the continuation in general, are rooted in familiar with the inside of your letter that you are misunderstandings that have situation, I understand that apparently still unaware of the to be cleared up. Certainly, the said aggressive minority background of the situation the person you mention in is intent upon taking over the and how the silence on the your letter, as well as the exclusive leadership. So far, at part of the leadership has general leadership, are fully least until now, nothing was been interpreted as solid aware of the real causes. done to counteract, or even encouragement. Hence you They also know how much challenge, the few individuals have come forward with a distortion there is in the said who have arrogated unto suggestion in your letter which article in presenting or rather, themselves the exclusive I find incomprehensible. misrepresenting, the view of right to speak for the entire orthodoxy and Lubavitch. “As I see it, the core of the leadership and for the situation - one of the inherent movement as a whole. “Secondly, not only do problems within the Reform I consider the proposed “In light of the above, I movement itself – is that the meeting pointless, but trust you will agree that the movement is ruled by an also potentially, and in all

Nissan 5781 Edition 43 likelihood, counterproductive. For it would correspondence. It came as a great surprise place aggressor and victim in the same to me since I thought that my letter had category and at the same time, would create completely answered yours. But apparently, the impression that the leadership of your it did not register, either because of a movement has done all it could and fulfilled perfunctory reading or because it lacked any its duty both in regard to the movement and clarity. I will, therefore, attempt to restate my in the eyes of the world, having attended a answer more explicitly. candid and amicable meeting such as you “The libelous attacks against Lubavitch by suggest - with the result that the aggressive spokesmen of the Reform movement, which minority would be emboldened to pursue the prompted your reaction and suggestion, was same policy as before, or even more vigorously. totally unprovoked as it was totally baseless. “In summary, as long as there will be no This attack, I believe, has come from an proper reaction on the part of the leadership aggressive minority that aspires to take over to the libelous attack –and I am emphasizing the leadership of the Reform movement. proper– it will continue to be interpreted by “Failure by the top echelon of the movement the aggressive minority as encouragement to disassociate itself from the libel- fabricated and more than that, I must admit that this many months ago and continuing unabated conclusion is inescapable. Yet the proposed ever since - not only encouraged this group meeting - even if it were a “quiet” one, as you but raised the possibility that the leadership suggested, is not only unfeasible, as explained, either condones the libel or is too weak to but it would also be at variance with the assert itself. Either way, it is, first of all, an halacha in Torah that what should not be done publicly should also not be done privately. Rabbi Yossi Groner at a siyum sefer Torah. “There is surely no need for me to add that what has been said above in regard to the leadership of the movement does not apply to you, of course, as is obvious from your letter. “Once again many thanks for your letter and for the well- intentioned suggestion. I am sure you will appreciate the reasons why I cannot go along with it.” Mr. Goldberg wrote yet again, requesting that the groups involved should inner problem of the Reform movement and meet and negotiate a compromise. The is completely unrelated to such a meeting as Rebbe responded in a second letter on Rosh you suggest. Chodesh Adar: “In light of the above, the suggested “This is to confirm receipt of your letter, meeting would not only be totally irrelevant pursuant to the subject matter of our recent to the problem but would be highly

44 COLlive Magazine STORY

“THE LIBEL- shock and disappointment top leadership, has still not OUS ATTACKS at the manner in which you moved the leadership to say perceived the problem as or do something to rectify AGAINST expressed in your letter, even in some measure such a namely as if it were a “mutual” terrible wrong. LUBAVITCH BY problem caused by two “To conclude with a timely movements against each other message, in accordance with SPOKESMEN OF and equally reprehensible, Jewish custom— THE REFORM etc., and therefore should be “shared personally’’ and “Now that we have entered MOVEMENT ... mutually resolved. the auspicious month of Adar, highlighted by Purim, I pray “As things now stand, and as WAS TOTALLY that all of us, in the midst of I gather also from the letters our Jewish people, should I received from a number of UNPROVOKED AS merit to see the fulfillment of prominent members of the the words of the Megillah, “For Reform movement who had IT WAS TOTALLY the Jews there was Light, Joy, expressed their condemnation Gladness and Honor,” to which BASELESS.” of the shameless libel in no our Sages add: “Light- this is uncertain terms – there’s an the Torah,” etc. This means counterproductive, since attempt to draw a parallel that adherence to Ner mitzvah it would amount to open from the libel suits brought by vTorah Or (“a Mitzvah is a declaration that whatever General Ariel Sharon against Lamp and the Torah is Light”), grievances had been caused, the Time publishers, resulting enlightens a Jew’s perception have been amicably settled in a verdict that though the to see everything in its true by a friendly chat, joint Time was guilty of a false libel light, so that one would not statement, etc. against the General that was condone a libel, nor give the published negligently, etc. – it “Indeed, if one were searching fabricator of it a pat on the could not, under the existing for the best way to encourage back, which is interpreted that law, be made to pay to it, the radical group within the he is a good and smart boy, since it could not be proved movement to carry on even a good American and even a that it was done willfully. The more forcefully its attacks good Jew. against Lubavitch and against so-called morality and justice Orthodox Jewry in general in this law (in regard to public “On this happier note, I – the suggested meeting figures) is defended on the extend to you and all yours would be the surest and most ground of the overriding prayerful wishes for a joyous effective way, even more principle of the freedom of and inspiring Purim.” effective than the thundering the press, etc., which is the cornerstone of the American Incensed at having his request silence of the leadership of the denied, Mr. Goldberg wrote Reform movement. Constitution and democracy and so forth. a letter to the Rebbe that “Actually, I could stop here, was disrespectful and sent a since I could not be more “This verdict, apparently, has carbon copy to Rabbi Groner. explicit about my rejection provided a convenient excuse The rabbi immediately called of your proposed meeting, or escape in the present his father, Rabbi Leibel although I do not doubt your case, for it is incredible that Groner, one of the Rebbe’s sincerity and good intentions. even at this stage - after the secretaries, and asked him sharpest condemnations to remove the letter from the “However, I would be remiss in of the libel by a number of mail. “It cannot be that the my duties and responsibilities prominent members of the Rebbe should put his eyes on if I did not express my movement expressed to the it,” the young Rabbi Groner

Nissan 5781 Edition 45 STORY

Rabbi Yossi Groner at an event at the Chabad House in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Rabbi Yossi Groner, around the time the story took place.

told his father. to go call his son immediately donor was a difficult call to and tell him to stop. “All is in make for the young rabbi. He The elder Rabbi Groner order,” the Rebbe said. doubted whether his erstwhile explained that he could not supporter would even be willing take anything out of the The younger Rabbi Groner to assist with the camp. To his mail. “Whatever comes, the calmed down on hearing that surprise, however, Mr. Goldberg Rebbe receives.” the Rebbe was not offended. was happy to hear from him. Still, he decided, he would not The Charlotte rabbi was ask Mr. Goldberg for the use “Everything is set up for the heartbroken. He could not eat of his pool that year. A few camp, and I cannot wait to see or sleep and spent the next days later, the Rebbe asked the kids come to our place.” three days reciting Psalms. When the letter finally reached his aide what was happening. The story was relayed New York, the elder Rabbi Rabbi Groner told him about to the Rebbe, and from Groner handed it to the Rebbe his son’s decision not to ask then on, the Rebbe would with trepidation. The Rebbe Mr. Goldberg for help. inquire from time to time read it and broke into a smile. “What? On the contrary,” the what was happening with Then, becoming serious, he Rebbe said, “they need to the Goldbergs. Today, turned to his aide, “How is continue their relationship with Mr. Goldberg’s son and your son?” him. Do everything as it was grandchildren are members of the local Chabad and daven Rabbi Groner said he was before, and even more.” there weekly. reciting Tehillim, fasting, and Not burning bridges with the weeping. The Rebbe told him

Dovid Zaklikowski, is a biographer and storyteller. His latest book is “Story Bites: Short Stories to Savor.” His books are available on HasidicArchives.com, Amazon or at your local Judaica store. He could be reached at [email protected].

46 COLlive Magazine ADVICE ASK THE THERAPIST WITH RABBI DANIEL SCHONBUCH, LMFT

IS ANXIETY A DISORDER? ANXIETY DISORDERS ARE THE MOST COMMON MENTAL ILLNESS IN THE UNITED STATES

We are living in a world where and older (18% of the U.S. mimic physical illnesses. fear has become the new population). norm. Unfortunately, due to With health care on everyone’s the COVID virus, and the And the cost to society is minds today, it is important media’s coverage of violence, staggering. According to The to note that people with an terror and disaster, many more Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, anxiety disorder are three to people are expressing that anxiety disorders cost the five times more likely to go they are “feeling anxious” U.S. more than $42 billion a to the doctor and six times or they simply feel a lack of year, almost one-third of the more likely to be hospitalized security in their lives. country’s $148 billion total for psychiatric disorders than mental health bill. More than those who do not suffer from Most people are not aware $22.84 billion of those costs are anxiety disorders. that anxiety disorders are the associated with the repeated most common mental illness use of health care services; So where does anxiety come in the United States, affecting people with anxiety disorders from? Is it organic or genetic? 40 million adults aged 18 seek relief for symptoms that Is it based on one’s personality

Nissan 5781 Edition 47 ADVICE

and a possible series of breathing, trembling, sweating WHEN DOES NORMAL traumatic events? or being easily startled. ANXIETY BECOME AN A simple answer is that Other times, anxiety disorders anxiety disorders develop can include ongoing, ANXIETY DISORDER? from a complex set of risk unwanted thoughts or Anxiety disorders take factors including genetics, repetitive behaviors. normal anxiety responses to brain chemistry, personality another level. For people with Common anxiety disorders and life events. anxiety disorders, worrying include panic disorder, social (or worrying about worrying) Let’s explore both the causes phobia, generalized anxiety disrupts the flow of daily life. and the cures for this painful disorder, obsessive-compulsive These worries and even the spectrum of disorders and what disorder and posttraumatic fight-or-flight adrenaline rush sufferers of anxiety can do to stress disorder (PTSD). No are not necessarily connected relieve their symptoms. matter which type of condition to any specific event. you may have, it is important WHAT IS ANXIETY? to know that most people Often, they happen for no with anxiety disorders can be apparent reason and disappear Anxiety is a normal reaction helped with professional care. as mysteriously as they started. to stress. Sometimes it can be What best characterizes an Stress-related anxiety is rooted positive, for example, if it helps anxiety disorder is that it is out in what is commonly known as you deal with a tense situation of proportion and out of the “fight-or-flight.” It is a physical in the office, study harder individual’s control. for an exam, handle a new and emotional response to real situation, or stay focused on an or perceived danger. This kind of important task. In general, it anxiety, although it can be very HOW TO TREAT ANXIETY? helps people cope. But when uncomfortable, is still very useful The most effective way to treat anxiety becomes excessive, in that it helps us respond to a anxiety is to have a person doesn’t fit the situation, or lasts crisis. Intense worry about a sick MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT AWARE THAT ANXIETY DISORDERS ARE THE MOST COMMON MENTAL ILLNESS IN THE UNITED STATES, AFFECTING 40 MILLION ADULTS AGED 18 AND OLDER

become aware of how their a long time, it can get in the child prompts us to prepare for thinking process causes them way of your everyday activities any eventuality. to have feelings of fear and and may interfere with how you discomfort. Over 60 years ago, get along with others. Stress anxiety is caused by a clearly identifiable event and a well-known and distinguished psychiatrist Aaron Beck, There are several types of fades as soon as the crisis is explained the mechanisms of anxiety disorders with a variety over. (Amusement parks make anxiety when he formulated the of symptoms. Some people a great deal of their money by concepts of cognitive-behavioral have repeated short-term provoking this kind of anxiety. therapy precipitate (CBT). episodes of intense fear, while The jolt in your stomach when others have exaggerated worry you speed down a roller coaster According to the principles of and tension most of the time or when something jumps CBT, there are several levels or in everyday social situations. out at you is the fight-or-flight of thinking. The first one is Sometimes, the anxiety comes response in action. The rush of automatic thoughts or worries. with physical symptoms like adrenaline feels so good, you An example would be “it’s too heart pounding, trouble want to take another ride.)

48 COLlive Magazine dangerous to drive on the road”. from what Beck calls self-beliefs. limited to the bounds of According to Beck, To treat that A negative self-belief is an “I our physical and external kind of worry, we need to look at am” statement. Some examples existence? deeper levels of thinking. would include, I am in danger, I am bad, I am worthless, or We have a deeper self which The next level would be I am vulnerable. If a person is known as the “Nefesh called intermediate thoughts. maintains a self-belief of this Elokis”. From this perspective, Intermediate thoughts axioms nature, he will automatically we are a part of Hashem and or thought processes that cause turn towards over-generalizing really have nothing to fear. It a person to worry. A common or catastrophizing about every is only our self-perception of example would be black- possible dangerous situation our physical self where fear and-white thinking, negative they encounter. can exist. Therefore, Torah filtering, overgeneralizing or psychology would instruct us catastrophizing. A person who A CHASIDIC APPROACH to focus on understanding overgeneralizes may have seen who we truly are as a method someone get into a car accident On this level, Chasidic of confronting anxiety. This once, and now believes that all thought instructs us to is perhaps the ultimate and driving is dangerous. understand our self-belief Torah-based way to heal our system from another fears. However, these axioms come perspective. Are we just from a deeper level of thinking, a vulnerable self? Are we

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) is renowned for improving the emotional lives of individuals, couples and families. He is the author of 4 books. He can be reached at www.ItWillBeGood.com or 646-428-4723.

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By Sara Chana Silverstein

We are lucky to have today so many medications that have the “Kosher for Pesach” certification, but ONION POULTICE: GINGER POULTICE: for thousands of years, Yidden had to make their own medicines during Pesach if illness or injury Onions breaks up congestion. Ginger helps with swollen arose. If it worked for them, it can work for us as well. It helps with coughs and joints, arthritis and sports helps expectorate mucus. related injuries. It can also What may be most surprising is that our Kosher for Place poultice on chest, help bring on meses. It may Pesach foods are the ingredients of these home-made lay down and relax for burn a bit at first, but that remedies, such as the ancient custom of using poultices. 20 minutes. It can also sensation usually leaves Poultices can be made from potatoes, carrots, onions, help break down toxins quickly. The heat from the cucumbers, ginger and parsley. They are used to help under the skin that causes ginger stimulates the blood ‘pull-out’ infections, reduce inflammation and swelling bruising, swelling, pain or and tissue circulation. and also help to alleviate pain. inflammation. PARSLEY A poultice, a technique still used today all over POTATO POULTICE: POULTICE: the world, is easy to use, inexpensive and in many cases extremely effective. A poultice is a topical Potatoes are used for swollen Parsley helps with swollen application on the body to create a specific healing tissue. If you twist your ankle, tissue, but bites, and bruises response. This simple method that can be incredibly get a bug bite this poultice on the skin. Place a cup of effective when the proper substances are applied in will reduce inflammation and fresh parsley in the blender the appropriate manner. ease the pain quickly. It also or food processer, add just works well for women after enough water to make a Poultices involve few materials and can be used they have a baby and suffer paste. It also helps with alone or in conjunction with conventional or from engorged tissue. cracked or chapped skin and alternative treatments. The process of preparing can be applied to lips. a poultice is super easy and relatively the same CARROT POULTICE: regardless of the substance applied. You will need: LETTUCE a vegetable or herb, cheesecloth, a towel and saran Carrots are very effective in wrap or a plastic bag. helping with sore throats and POULTICE: swollen glands. Apply over Lettuce, when heated up, To begin, grate, chop, or dice the vegetable or swollen area 3 times a day helps with boils and fingers herb and wrap it in a cheesecloth. Position the for 3 days. cheesecloth directly over the area for treatment and cover with a piece of plastic wrap and then a towel to hold the application in place. The duration of treatment is typically 20 to 30 minutes. Remove the application immediately if there is any stinging, burning or the area becomes very itchy. Depending on the applied substance, there may be varying degrees of redness during and following a treatment this is normal and, in some instances, a good sign.

50 COLlive Magazine YOU MAY HAVE IN YOUR HOME FOR PESACH! HEALTH

that have been over-used from peeling and cutting vegetables. Sara Chana Silverstein, IBCLC, Master It sooths the skin and helps the Herbalist, RH (AHG), is the author of the wounds heal faster. Heat up book “Moodtopia: Tame Your Moods, some lettuce in boiling water. De-Stress, and Find Balance Using Let it cool to comfort and make Herbal Remedies, Aromatherapy, and your poultice. More.” For more information, visit www. moodtopiabook.com CUCUMBER POULTICE: Cucumbers help with swollen of puffy eyes. It also helps with sunburns and kitchen burns. Chop up cucumbers and make into a poultice. SUGAR: Does not need to be made into a poultice but can treat wounds and cuts. Just pour sugar over the wound and apply a bandage on top. The granules soak up any moisture that allows bacteria to thrive. Without the bacteria, the would heals more quickly. The amora Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish, known as “Reish Lakish,” said (Megillah 13b): “The Holy One, Blessed be He, does not strike at the Jewish people unless He has already created a remedy for them beforehand, as it is stated: “When I would have healed Israel, then the iniquity of Ephraim was uncovered” (Hosea 7:1).” Modern medicine is a blessing and has a lot to offer us and this can not be forgotten. But it is important to remember that the plants and herbs that Hashem created also have healing properties. They are ours to use and heal ourselves.

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Nissan 5781 Edition 55 SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BUSINESS

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56 COLlive Magazine BUSINESS

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Nissan 5781 Edition 57 718-782-0064 EXT 116 BUSINESS

HATS OFF TO An Italian Legend Makes Inroads in BORSALINO Brooklyn

By Libby Herz Photos by Menush Amit

Today’s contemporary consumer seeks brands which deliver top quality while helping to balance life rather than complicate it. Customers know that when they buy a product directly from the source, they can trust the product’s creator to stand behind their brand. Borsalino has raised the standard of retail experience in the Jewish community by listening closely to the needs of their customers. The gold standard in the hatting industry has formulated a first-class, hassle free shopping experience for the

Nissan 5781 Edition 59 60 COLlive Magazine BUSINESS

Orthodox Jewish consumer. made so that he was outfitted The bar for retail in the frum with a fedora of impeccable community has been raised Since its debut in 1857, the fit. by a product that practically Italian owned company made sells itself. “We are in a very “The process was very a name for itself as the most desired location with a desired dignified,” says Kaminetzky. coveted fedora. They produced product,” Kaminetzky says. 2,000,000 hats annually until Delighted with the experience, Still, the team at Borsalino is the 1950s, when formal hats the bar mitzvah boy’s father doing everything they can to fell out of style. Still, the status outfitted his son with two serve you. of Borsalino has retained that more Borsalinos. of a cult object. Borsalino prioritizes giving Since World War II, Borsalino back to the frum community. hats were sold via vendors who Kaminetzky remembers the were independent of the brand recent sale of two hats to a bar itself. However, the company mitzvah boy. Unfortunately, overhauled consumer relations a fire broke out in the boy’s in 2005 by selling directly to house shortly before his bar Israeli clientele via retailers who mitzvah, and his brand-new were exclusively affiliated with hats were lost in the flames. the Borsalino brand. “We wanted him to feel joy In 2015, the hat mogul lay and celebrate the simcha,” down roots on Avenue J in Kaminetzky says. So the Flatbush. They expanded to company sent the boy the Lakewood in 2016, and then, exact hats that had been in 2018, to the heart of Crown purchased, free-of-charge. Heights. “The global trend in the retail world is for customers The storefront’s uptown, to shop straight from the modern vibe adds to the source,” explains Reuven feeling of purchasing a Kaminetzky, Borsalino’s U.S. first-rate product. “The frum Director of Operations. “We community deserves a high- are the exclusive vendors in the end experience,” Kaminetzky experience” tri-state area.” says. The company goes out of All items are arranged for their way to customize the utmost convenience and ease. experience of finding the The high ratio of sales people perfect hat. Kaminetzky recalls to customer ensures that each consumer receives absolute a Bar Mitzvah boy who needed personal care. Store policies a tailor-made hat size for are also lenient in terms of medical reasons. Kaminetzky returns and exchange. collected hats from all stores in the tri-state area. Then, Borsalino’s accommodating he arranged an appointment policies do not stop at their exclusively for the boy and his brick-and-mortar store. Their father, before regular store online presence includes uber a high-end deserves hours. convenient navigation, top- notch customer service, and The boy tried on numerous free shipping and returns. hats, and adjustments were “The Frum community “The Frum community

Nissan 5781 Edition 61 62 COLlive Magazine PESACH MASTERPIECES PROGRAM FFH PESACH RECIPES FROM THE 3 OUTSTANDING

instagram at @pesachwithffh. visit FFHEvents.com oron To more learn aboutFFH friends andfamily. confident to recommend to a program thatguestsare fun experiencescreating “wow” momentsandfamily program features many is wortheverydollar. The that peoplecanafford, and ensure afabulousexperience is thoughtfullylaidoutto conscious aspect.Eachdetail while balancingacost FFH layersontheexcitement, exudes “gourmet.” with delicateflavoring,that is aculinarymasterpiece,filled beyond spectacular. Eachmeal Levi’sthose concerns.” foodis One Cateringsolvedalotof with LeviFeigensonofTable Feldman said.“Partnering it issocomplicated,”Alyson into thismarket,beingthat and were stillhesitanttojump experience ineventorganizing, wanted. “We had20yearsof good ideaofwhatpeople business andfelttheyhada before theywentintothe The Feldmanswere customers and attentiontodetail. about thequality, consistency, consistently asword spreads program hasbeengrowing Lubavitch following.The minhagim, andhasalarge FFH features manyLubavitch Catering. Feigenson ofTable One Alyson Feldmanand Lubavitchers ago, nowdirected by launched sixyears FFH isaPesachprogram Shloime and Levi Photos by Meir Pliskin RECIPES PAN SEARED SEA BASS WITH LEMON CHIVE BEURRE BLANC A SIMPLE AND DELICIOUS PAN SEARED SEA BASS PAIRED WITH LUSCIOUS LEMON CHIVE BEURRE BLANC.

Prep Time: 10 min Cook Time: 30 min Total Time: 40 min

Serves 2 can be doubled TO MAKE BEURRE BLANC FOR BEURRE BLANC 1. Warm olive oil in a medium sized sauce pan over medium heat. 3 tbsp. olive oil 2. Add shallot and cook until they begin to become translucent, 1 shallot, finely minced about 2-3 minutes. ½ cup white wine 3. Cook 30 seconds, stirring. 1 tbsp. lemon juice 4. Add white wine to deglaze the pan, using a wooden spoon to ½ tbsp. white wine vinegar scrape up any brown bits from the bottom of the pan. ½ cup unsalted margarine, 5. Add lemon juice and white wine vinegar and allow to simmer until cubed reduced, about 8-10 minutes. Kosher salt, to taste 6. Add margarine cubes, 1-2 cubes at a time, and whisk constantly White pepper, to taste until emulsified. 3 tbsp. chives, finely minced 7. Season with salt and white pepper to taste. 8. Keep warm until ready to serve. FOR FISH

4 tbsp. olive oil, divided TO PREPARE FISH

2 tbsp. unsalted margarine 1. Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil and the margarine in a large nonstick Kosher salt skillet over high heat. 2 6 oz. sea bass filets 2. Season fish with kosher salt and olive oil on both sides. 3. Add fish (skin side down if your fish has the skin on it) and cook for 5 minutes per side. 4. Remove to plate and serve covered in beurre blanc with fresh chives.

Nissan 5781 Edition 63 Cured Salmon Gravlax

Prep Time: 10 mins | Serves 10

Ingredients

1 tbsp white peppercorns 1 cup fresh dill, roughly chopped (1 big bunch) 8 oz rock salt 8 oz sugar 2 lb salmon, sashimi-grade, bones removed and skin on To serve: Lemon wedges

Instructions:

1. Crush peppercorns with the side of a knife (or roughly grind using mortar and pestle). 2. Combine peppercorns with salt, sugar and dill. 3. Place 2 large pieces of cling wrap on a work surface, slightly overlapping. Spread half the salt mixture in the shape of the salmon. 4. Place salmon on salt, skin side down. Top with remaining salt mixture. 5. Wrap with cling wrap. Place in a large dish. 6. Refrigerate for 12 hours. There will be liquid in the dish. Turn salmon over and return to fridge. After another 12 hours, turn salmon over again. After another 12 hours, remove salmon from fridge. 36 hours total for Medium Cure - Perfect Gravlax. 7. Unwrap salmon, scrape off salt then rinse. Pat dry. If time permits, return to the fridge for 3 - 12 hours uncovered Sprinkle over the 1/4 cup extra dill - for garnish and flavour. 8. Slice thinly on an angle, do not cut through skin (don’t eat skin). Serve with lemon wedges. TIP: Do not use table salt or iodized salt for best results.

64 COLlive Magazine RECIPES

Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 3 hours 10 min- utes Braised Total Time: 3 hours 20 minutes Servings: 8 servings Short Ribs

Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 3 hours 10 minutes Total Time: 3 hours 20 minutes Serves 8

Ingredients

3 tbsp olive oil 6 lbs short ribs 2 large carrots diced 2 stalks celery diced 2 medium onions diced Instructions 1 tbsp tomato paste ½ cup sweet red wine wine 1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Tie short ribs together with 4 cups Cabernet Sauvignon kitchen string, then salt and pepper. Heat olive oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat, and brown short ribs on 4 cups beef stock each side. Remove short ribs, and add carrots, celery, and 8 sprigs thyme onions to pan and cook to a golden brown, 5 to 10 minutes. 2 bay leaves Add tomato paste, and cook for 2 to 3 minutes. kosher salt 2. Return short ribs to the pot, and deglaze with red wines. ground pepper Cook until liquid is reduced by two-thirds. Bunch rosemary, thyme, and bay leaves together and tie the bundle with kitchen string. Add the tied herbs, and stock. Bring to a boil, cover, and transfer to the oven for 3 hours, until the meat is fork-tender. 3. Transfer short ribs to a platter. Strain sauce through a fine sieve or cheesecloth into a medium-size saucepan. Reduce sauce over medium heat until it thickens. Adjust seasoning, spoon sauce over short ribs, and serve. TIP: Serve with mashed potatoes for the perfect result.

Nissan 5781 Edition 65 KIDS

66 COLlive Magazine He Who Struck Egypt KIDS Through Its Firstborn

Shabbos Hagadol 5735 (1975), at the farbrengen in 770.

While we were still in Mitzrayim, the process of the Geulah had already begun when the first-born Mitzriyim protested and a civil war למכה started. We know this from the words So too, every year we remember .מצרים בבכוריהם and experience Yetzias Mitzrayim, and that one nation is fighting with another nation....

Eight years earlier, just before the Six-Day-War broke out. Saudi Arabia, in King Faisal’s palace…

I think I understand what the Rebbe is referring to…. I plan on helping the Egyptian and Syrian armies with all I’ve got. Listen up Israel! I swear, you will be obliterated in this war….

Nissan 5781 Edition 67 Several years later in 5734 (1973), shortly after the Yom Kippur war, Saudi Arabia became one of the largest oil exporters in the world.

The Jews have no idea what is coming their way.

We will boycott any nation that dares to give With Hashem’s kindness, the Jewish people experienced a military assistance sweeping victory during the Six-Day-War. to Israel. We will not sell you oil!

Many countries didn’t give in to King Faisal’s demands. So, he carried out his threat, and those countries suffered from a severe oil shortage. But we really appreciate how the United States is standing firm with the Jewish nation It’s so expensive to during this time. drive these days! Our Stay strong! Mivtza tanks need so much gas, and Since the oil embargo spreading Yiddishkiet is there’s been a gas becoming very pricey! shortage in the United States. Gas prices are through the roof!

A story from the new comic book, THE REBBE AND THE MAZKIR RABBI LEIBEL GRONER Many European countries also supported Eretz Yisrael.

No gas. I’ll go with my bike. We support the Jewish people.

Oh no! King Faisal Three days After the Rebbe’s Shabbos Hagadol farbrengen, King Faisal welcomed is dead! a royal delegation into his palace.

A story from the new comic book, THE REBBE AND THE MAZKIR RABBI LEIBEL GRONER What is the world news reporting?

The Saudi king was killed by his nephew.

And what are they saying? Why did the nephew kill his royal uncle? They are saying that the nephew is insane

It was the same at Krias Yam Suf. Many claimed that it wasn’t a miracle. They maintained that it was simply a very strong wind that caused the water to split in two.

I see you are not one The Chassidim say of those that King Faisal’s who don’t death is what the believe in Rebbe referred to at miracles… that farbrengen. On Shabbos Hagadol the Rebbe spoke about the למכה מצרים בבכוריהם pasuk (He who struck Mitzrayim through their firstborn.) and that even today we can see the same set of circumstances happening again.

A story from the new comic book, THE REBBE AND THE MAZKIR RABBI LEIBEL GRONER HUMOR

By Mordechai Schmutter

I would consider myself somewhat of a cleaning do with Pesach cleaning, but it has something to do expert. My house isn’t the cleanest, but I’ve definitely with Pesach. spent thousands upon thousands of hours thinking about cleaning. It’s just the math, at this point. Though it’s possible I’m misunderstanding something here. But that brings us to Pesach. A lot of people get stressed out by the thought of cleaning their entire Of course, despite what the rabbis say about what homes, so they look for advice on how to do it, we have to do, for sholom bayis reasons, many of because thinking about cleaning is way more up our us would like to clean our entire homes, because alley than actually cleaning. And that’s why I’m here. if you don’t clean it now, when will you clean it? Right after Pesach? You just cleaned it! Before Rosh For starters, many rabbis say that most of the things Hashana? How is fighting with your family in Elul we do to clean for Pesach have nothing to do with any better? After Sukkos? Then what exactly is the Pesach. For example, they point out, getting rid of difference between going by the rabbi’s suggestion clothes that no longer fit our kids and passing them of cleaning your entire home, say, after Sukkos, on to a neighbor who just finished going through different than cleaning your entire home for Pesach, her kids’ closets has nothing to do with Pesach. for which you have to begin right after Sukkos? The only difference is for how long after you clean I’m not sure they’re right, though. On the very first a given room you’re going to yell at someone for Pesach, everyone left Mitzrayim, so #1: There’s no trekking crumbs in there. way they were schlepping things that they knew for a fact they weren’t going to wear anymore, and #2: So clearly, the answer here is just to start early, but The Torah itself says they were going to neighbors to do it in a way that you won’t come to yell at and exchanging clothes. Maybe this has nothing to people for messing it up.

Nissan 5781 Edition 71 For example, some people just have a year-round rule: the house that is more than six feet from the floor, You can only eat in certain rooms of the house. But then five feet, and so on until you get to the height no one wants to live their entire lives in anticipation of your kids. (If you’re shorter than your children, I of Pesach. We’re already living our entire lives in don’t know what to tell you. Maybe start from the anticipation of Yom Kippur. The stress would kill us. bottom cabinets.) Then you can modify your signs Also, there’s nothing better than eating in bed. There’s to, “Everything in the house above the height of a reason that on Pesach, when we’re supposed to be this sign has been cleaned for Pesach,” and you can kings, we get to bring pillows to the table. keep adjusting the sign as you clean until it’s on the floor, and then, in the last week before Pesach, you The other way is to clean with a strategy. For can clean the floor. example, most people clean by room. They start in a room that no one will ever bring chometz into “Sure,” you’re saying, “but there are some rooms anyway, such as the basement storage room that that I have to clean last. Such as the kitchen.” the kids are afraid to go into, or the attic with the pull-down stairs, so they can feel good that they Well, I have news for you: You don’t have to clean at least got one room done, and then they move the kitchen last. You need time to cook in the on, choosing rooms strategically around the house, kitchen, and you don’t want everyone in your way, putting up signs that say, “No chometz beyond this so why not give them other rooms to clean that point” that they forget to take down after Pesach week? Like maybe the rooms you don’t care about so eventually everyone just ignores them, and then them doing a good job on. Like the ones you were they spend the rest of the time until Pesach yelling, going to do first. “I just cleaned in there!” because pretty soon after Actually, I would say you should clean your cars last. they start, they run out of rooms that no one visits, There’s no reason that your car has to be perfectly because no one has a house that is that much clean in order for you to clean your kitchen. You bigger than they need. We’re not actually kings. don’t keep your car in the kitchen. But where does it say that you have to go by room? Hear me out: Every year, you clean your car, and Why not go by the parts in each room that are less then you spend two weeks reminding your kids visited? For example, a few months before Pesach, and their carpool friends not to eat back there, you can go around cleaning closets and drawers. because you can’t hang a sign on your car that will Even if your kids have an unforeseen food fight not keep blowing off, and then you cook and eat or the blender explodes, nothing is getting into in an awkward room of your house. But why not do anything with a door. And if it does, this will be such the car last? It’s not even part of your house. You a significant event that you’ll know about it and can have a “No chometz in the house at all” sign know to reclean just those cabinets. hanging on the front door, confusing the UPS guy, And then, closer to Pesach, you just have to clean and then eat in the car. People eat in cars all the the surfaces that you can actually see and that time, particularly cops on stakeouts or families on people can mess up through normal carelessness. the way to distant relatives. There are enough seats for everyone, and you know for a fact that none of You can also go by height – clean everything in the garbage from the car ever makes it back into

72 COLlive Magazine HUMOR

the house. And it’s not like your car can get any The best way to throw things out is by implementing dirtier than it is. It’s already reached max saturation. the KonMari method, which is to hold up each item Though to be fair, you don’t usually eat mushroom- and ask yourself, “Does this item bring me joy?” barley soup in the car. and if it doesn’t, you toss it, or you give it away so someone else can ask that question the next year. You don’t even have to sit in the driveway and It’s not a perfect system, though, because by that eat. You can sit basically anywhere – in front of a logic I would get rid of: my kinnos, my alarm clock, hydrant, in a parking lot while someone is waiting the hat that I wear to shul when it rains, my printer, for your space, on one of those boats that ship cars, all my students’ essays, about half of my big wooden in traffic, in a car wash, at the bank… And the next spoons, the massive jar of spackle in my living room time you get in, your car will smell amazing. Unless that I think is expired, and basically everything that you ate fish. the word “joy” doesn’t really apply to, like tissues. Plus, you probably share your home with other Yes, you need a clean trunk so you can buy people, so chances are that if there’s something that groceries to start cooking. But that’s all you have to doesn’t bring you joy, there’s someone in the house clean first: the trunk. Who’s sitting in the trunk? And who would yell at you for tossing it anyway. Or for you’re not driving so fast that all the crumbs and holding up each of their items, one at a time, and wrappers that you didn’t clean in the front are just asking them if it brings them joy. That’s a great way to flying to the back. Maybe just don’t drive with all get thrown out yourself. your windows open. But the main thing is not to stress. You might feel Unless you eat fish. like your house isn’t perfect, but you’re the only “That sounds good on paper,” you’re saying, “but one who realizes this, or you would have gotten more help. Was your parents’ house really perfect how many times am I going to bring the vacuum every year growing up, or did you just think it was, cleaner outside?” because you were a kid? You have no idea what Well, is it easier to bring the vacuum outside an extra kind of mess was in the cabinets you couldn’t reach. time, or to eat on the outside stairs for a week? And if your house isn’t perfect, you can always ask a Another way to shorten the cleaning process is to rav if you can unplug your car battery and have your throw things out. Let’s put it this way: When you Seder in the car. You can put your matzos on the clean, you empty out a whole drawer, and then you dashboard so no one will crush them, the seats go figure out how to put it all back so that everything back, and there are like four cupholders per person. fits nicely. Wouldn’t this process be greatly This makes more sense if you keep your car in shortened if there was nothing to put back? the kitchen.

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia, COLlive.com and other publications. He also has six books out and does stand-up comedy. He can be contacted at [email protected]

Nissan 5781 Edition 73 IMPORTANT NUMBERS & ZMANIM INFORMATION For the New York Area

HATZOLAH (718) 230.1000 Erev Pesach SHMIRA Shabbat, March 27 (718) 221.0303 Finish Eating Chametz before 10:52 am Nullify Chametz before 11:50 am SHOMRIM Light Candles after 7:57 pm (718) 774.3333 CHAVERIM Pesach 2nd Night (718) 222.1800 Sunday, March 28, light candles after 7:58 pm Monday, March 29 ends 7:59 pm BIKUR CHOLIM OF CROWN HEIGHTS (718) 467.1661 Shvii Shel Pesach Friday, April 2, light candles 7:04 pm CROWN HEIGHTS URGENT CARE 555 Lefferts Ave. Achron Shel Pesach Brooklyn, NY 11225 Shabbos, April 3, light candles after 8:04 pm Sunday, April 4 ends 8:05pm BEIS DIN OF CROWN HEIGHTS Shabbos Parshas Shemini 390 Kingston Ave. Friday, April 9, light candles 7:11 pm (Above Kettle & Cord) Shabbos April 10 ends 8:12 pm (718) 604.8000 RABBI OSDOBA ext 1 RABBI BRAUN ext 3

74 COLlive Magazine Experience the difference.

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