Brooklyn Family NEW YORK November 2017 Parenting Where Every Child Matters

November 2017 BROOKLYN FREE Family www.NYParenting.com Why can’t my child read?

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Brooklyn Family NEW YORK November 2017 Parenting Where every child matters

Features 6 A note of thanks Take special care when expressing gratitude By Carolyn Waterbury-Tieman 12 Why can’t my child read? How to help overcome the struggle By Jan Pierce 14 A helping hand Online parent training gets A+ for convenience, results By Mike Civello 16 Choosing your words carefully Taking a closer look at how we speak to our children 38 By Allison Plitt 20 Truly happy columns To keep the holidays enjoyable, reinvent them 8 Behavior & Beyond By Myrna Beth Haskell By Dr. Marcie Beigel 24 Wolk this way 10 Healthy Living Mom has advice on raising girls in the by Danielle Sullivan age of social media 18 Just Write Mom By Tammy Scileppi by Danielle Sullivan 32 Perfect puppy 20 Avoid heartbreak and find a dog to fit 22 Ask an Attorney By Alison Arden Besunder, Esq. your family’s lifestyle By Kimberly Blaker 26 Good Sense Eating 34 Learning from disaster by Christine M. Palumbo, RD Bad news can be a teachable moment: 28 Family Health Show kids how to help By Dr. Pramod Narula, MD By Shnieka L. Johnson 30 Family Financial Planning calendar By Anthony N. Corrao 36 FabuLYSS Finds 38 November Events by Lyss Stern 37 The Book Worm special section By Terri Schlichenmeyer 45 The Marketplace 46 New & Noteworthy By Lisa J. Curtis 32

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 3 letter from the PublIsher

Share your holiday recipes Share with us your favorite I myself learned to cook us your first name, your borough and your holiday recipe!! by being in the kitchen with email address so we can contact you in As soon as late October my grandmother, mom and return. There will be prizes for the most I’m already thinking about uncles. Yes, there were men popular recipes. the Thanksgiving Day meal. in my family who were also I’m really looking forward to seeing I guess that’s what November cooks. It wasn’t just women’s what our readers send as well as trying means to many of us. It also turf, and in putting a feast to make some of them in my own kitchen. means the days having grown together, and exchanging Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a safe shorter, the school session recipes and styles, all were holiday in every way. Good appetite! back in full swing, and the brought closer. Thanks for reading. holiday season gearing up to- Next month we’re going to ward the new year. do a special focus on sharing food ideas It’s a rare family that doesn’t love for the holidays and I’m hoping that many Thanksgiving? It’s such a special oppor- of you are going to send us some of your tunity to share and enjoy the culinary favorite recipes. It can be a main course, a company and togetherness of friends and side dish or a dessert. Whatever you feel is family. It’s also an opportunity to bring the special and that kids can learn too! We’re kids into the kitchen and have the multi going to print our favorites. Susan Weiss-Voskidis, generational reality be instructional to the The best way to get it to us is to email Publisher/Excutive Editor younger family members. it to [email protected]. Please give [email protected]

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4 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Got a daredevil? Better have a good pediatrician.

Call 866.247.5678 (TTY 711) AffinityPlan.org/CHP

To learn more about applying for health insurance, including Child Health Plus and Medicaid through NY State of Health, The Official Health Plan Marketplace, visit nystateofhealth.ny.gov or call 855.355.5777.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 5 A note of thanks Take special care when expressing gratitude

By Carolyn WaterBury-tieman consumed with making a living at the with embracing an attitude of gratitude. expense of living a life. Individuals characterized as grateful re- fter months of helping sort Recent tragic events, that have oc- port being happier and less depressed. through my parents’ belongings, curred both nationally and internation- They are found to be more resilient, have A I vowed to simplify and downsize ally, vividly attest to the precarious na- higher self esteem, and more satisfying my accumulation of worldly possessions. ture of life. Attempts to make sense, for relationships. No drawer, cupboard, closet, and shelf our children, and even for ourselves, of Apparently, focusing on what we do was safe from being culled for items the inexplicable devastation, caused by have contributes to an increased sense of not used or worn in over a year. The both natural and human forces, seems contentment and gratefulness that trans- amount of stuff I was able to donate, and futile. lates into generosity toward others, cre- yet still have everything that is neces- But if there is any redeeming value in ating what has been described as a cycle sary, was embarrassing. It served as a tragedy, it is that it may force us to recog- of virtue. On the contrary, when we focus stark reminder of the economy of artifi- nize all we have been taking for granted. on what we don’t have, we are inclined to cial need that characterizes our society. Perhaps with the perspective gained, we become self absorbed and selfish. An economy that depends — indeed, can redirect our focus toward adopting We can engage our children in the thrives upon — a basic dissatisfaction gratitude as a lifestyle. Realizing we don’t experience and practice of expressing with one’s circumstances lending to a need more to be thankful for, we simply gratitude by: perpetual state of want, intentionally need to be more thankful, transforms the • Defining gratitude. Provide a defini- clouding the distinction between want seasonal practice of giving thanks during tion of gratitude that is age appropri- and need. Driven by the desire to ac- the holidays into a way of life. ate for the members of the family. Give quire more and more, we have become There are multiple benefits associated examples of when you have felt grateful,

6 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 how you have expressed gratitude, and is a good practitioner. Verbally express of when others have expressed gratitude Realizing we don’t need appreciation to your spouse and children. to you. Describe how you felt. Ask each Let them see you add thank-yous to your member of the family to do the same. more to be thankful for, gratitude container. Put notes of appre- Have each person share something they ciation in their lunch box, leave them on appreciate about the member of the fam- we simply need to be the bathroom mirror or their pillow. Let ily sitting next to them. Have each mem- them see you write and send thank-you ber share something they are thankful more thankful, transforms notes to others. Write thank-you notes for about the family as a whole. Talk the seasonal practice of to them from their room (“Thank you for about the benefits of being grateful and keeping me clean and organized.”), their the family expectations for demonstrat- giving thanks during the toys (“Thank you for playing with me, ing gratitude. keeping me picked up, and taking care of • Making gratitude tangible. Have holidays into a way of life. me.”), their pets (“Thank you for giving each family member find or create a me food and water and walking me.”), gratitude container to keep in their room. and from you (“Thank you for bringing so It might be a box, basket, jar, or sock that fire, impersonal e-mails or, better yet, much joy to my life.”). Who doesn’t enjoy can be decorated to taste. Encourage reduced to a two-character text, “Ty,” receiving a note of thanks? them to write on a slip of paper some- possibly accompanied by an emoji. How- Whether it’s noticing the natural thing they are thankful for and what they ever well-intentioned, nothing replaces world, delighting in simple pleasures, or did to express their gratitude, at least the age-old tradition of taking the time to honoring extraordinary acts, gratitude once a day, and add it to their container. put pen to paper to express appreciation enriches our lives and the lives of those Parents or older children can do the for a gift or act of kindness. Teach chil- with whom we share it. Happiness is writing for younger members. Continu- dren how to write a heartfelt thank-you found in choosing to want what we have ing this practice throughout the year note. Be sure they include an appropriate and realizing the things to be most grate- provides each member with a record of salutation, a statement of exactly what ful for aren’t things. their growth in recognizing and express- they are thankful for, how they felt upon ing gratitude. Make it a Thanksgiving receiving the gift or act of kindness, their Carolyn Waterbury-Tieman has been mar- tradition to invite everyone to share their appreciation for the giver’s thoughtful- ried for 29 years and has two sons. She spent favorite example. ness and generosity, and a genuine clos- 15 years as a family therapist and parent edu- • W r i t i n g a note. The art of writing ing. Have them deliver the note in person cator and has written extensively on the topic thank-you notes is in danger of extinc- or by snail mail. of parenting. To contact her, please e-mail tion. They are being replaced with rapid- • Modeling gratitude. The best teacher [email protected].

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 7 Advice

Children can show gratitude s November begins, I always start comment, “Wow, I am so grateful we made it to think about my early Thanksgiv- to school on time” or “This picture is amaz- A ings. Before we could eat, my dad ing. Thank you for showing it to me.” always made a sappy speech about how Second, ask your small ones what they thankful he was. He would go on and on are grateful for just once a day. Make this a about us all being together, and healthy, habit, and ask them at the same time each and joined around a full table of food. He day. Perhaps you want to start dinner out then made each person at the table share with this question or it becomes part of what they were thankful for. I always gig- your bedtime routine. Doing it at the same gled at his speeches and rolled my eyes a time each day helps you remember to ask bit when I had to share, annoyed that I had the question, If your child does not have to wait before I could dig into the mashed an answer (as sometimes they say they potatoes. don’t), simply wait. Let them know you will Behavior As an adult, I look back on those mo- wait for them to find their answer, because ments, and it warms my heart. What a gift you know they have one. & Beyond my dad gave me. Talking about the good, Third, when your child acts ungrateful pointing out the positive, and occasionally (throws a tantrum because you said “no Dr. Marcie Beigel shedding a tear at how good life can be. dessert” or carries on when you won’t buy This is a gift that every child needs and them a new toy), do not get into a long every parent can give — ideally, more than conversation about how good their life is. be thankful. So in this moment of problem once a year. In order for your children to In this moment, just listen and restate your behavior, you can be patient. Now, that is be grateful, you need to model gratitude. decision (i.e. “No dessert tonight”). There something to be grateful for! The exciting news is that gratitude is a is no big conversation to remind them behavior! Yup, with just three consistent of all the sweets they already ate today. Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavior specialist actions, you can teach your children how This moment, when they do not see how based in Brooklyn with more than 20 years of to feel grateful. amazing their life is, you simply listen. No experience. Her book “Love Your Classroom First, talk about things that you are argument, no commentary, no convincing. Again” was a bestseller, and her new book, grateful for every day. Make it part of your You know that later that day or the next, “Love Your Family Again,” is available for casual conversation, just like you would the you will find out what they are grateful for. purchase at Amazon.com on Nov. 15. Visit weather. At least three times a day make a You know they are learning the skills to DrMarcie. com/freegift.

8 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Advice

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Full of enchantment! “ – The New York Times” Children can show gratitude The Galli Theater New York s November begins, I always start comment, “Wow, I am so grateful we made it to think about my early Thanksgiv- to school on time” or “This picture is amaz- Fairytale Fun for the Entire Family! A ings. Before we could eat, my dad ing. Thank you for showing it to me.” always made a sappy speech about how Second, ask your small ones what they Birthday Parties • Camps • Classes thankful he was. He would go on and on are grateful for just once a day. Make this a about us all being together, and healthy, habit, and ask them at the same time each and joined around a full table of food. He day. Perhaps you want to start dinner out Our Birthday Parties then made each person at the table share with this question or it becomes part of what they were thankful for. I always gig- your bedtime routine. Doing it at the same bring fairytales to life! gled at his speeches and rolled my eyes a time each day helps you remember to ask bit when I had to share, annoyed that I had the question, If your child does not have to wait before I could dig into the mashed an answer (as sometimes they say they potatoes. don’t), simply wait. Let them know you will Behavior As an adult, I look back on those mo- wait for them to find their answer, because ments, and it warms my heart. What a gift you know they have one. & Beyond my dad gave me. Talking about the good, Third, when your child acts ungrateful pointing out the positive, and occasionally (throws a tantrum because you said “no Dr. Marcie Beigel shedding a tear at how good life can be. dessert” or carries on when you won’t buy This is a gift that every child needs and them a new toy), do not get into a long every parent can give — ideally, more than conversation about how good their life is. be thankful. So in this moment of problem once a year. In order for your children to In this moment, just listen and restate your behavior, you can be patient. Now, that is be grateful, you need to model gratitude. decision (i.e. “No dessert tonight”). There something to be grateful for! The exciting news is that gratitude is a is no big conversation to remind them The Galli Theater NYC behavior! Yup, with just three consistent of all the sweets they already ate today. Dr. Marcie Beigel is a behavior specialist (718) 368-5596 357 West 36th Street, #202 actions, you can teach your children how This moment, when they do not see how based in Brooklyn with more than 20 years of New York, New York 10018 to feel grateful. amazing their life is, you simply listen. No experience. Her book “Love Your Classroom www.OnStageAtKingsborough.org First, talk about things that you are argument, no commentary, no convincing. Again” was a bestseller, and her new book, ( 212.731.0668 Kingsborough Community College grateful for every day. Make it part of your You know that later that day or the next, “Love Your Family Again,” is available for * [email protected] casual conversation, just like you would the you will find out what they are grateful for. purchase at Amazon.com on Nov. 15. Visit 2001 Oriental Blvd., Brooklyn weather. At least three times a day make a You know they are learning the skills to DrMarcie. com/freegift. a www.gallitheaterny.com

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 9 HealtH

HealtHy living Danielle Sullivan

Stay with your child Do not walk away to leave all the building emotions toppling over by themselves. You can offer a soothing hug, if they will let you, or you can simply sit next to them, which allows them a certain amount of freedom if they need it. Every child and The science of every tantrum is different. Take their cue. allow choices If the tantrum is centered on wearing a calming tantrums piece of clothing or eating a certain food, calmly offer them an option, instead of antrums can rattle even the calmest brain pathways are necessary to enable a demanding them to do as you say. Even of parents. Your child is screaming, child to manage his big feelings. As a par- very young children need to feel they have T overwhelmed, and in anguish, and ent, your role is to soothe your child while some control over their body and wishes. he or she may be acting out toward you he experiences the huge hormonal storms directly. Nothing you are doing is helping. in his brain and body. educate yourself If you are in public, you might feel even “If you get angry with a child for having Read about the science of tantrums more compelled to quiet this storm inside a distress tantrum, he may stop crying, even if your child is not currently having your child, and that combination of pres- but this may also mean that the fear sys- them. The more you can understand the sure and helplessness on both your part tem in his brain has triggered, overriding biology behind the behavior, the easier it and theirs is the perfect brew for you to his separation system. Or he may simply will be to adopt a clear and calm approach lose your temper. Who among us hasn’t have shifted into silent crying, which when they occur. lost it when their child just would not stop means his level of the stress chemical screaming? cortisol will remain sky-high. As we have take it seriously The first thing we need to do is forgive seen throughout brain research, uncom- Remember that he or she needs you to ourselves, and then we have to try to un- forted distress can leave a child with help him or her calm down. A child’s fron- derstand exactly what is happening inside toxic levels of stress hormones washing tal brain lobes are not yet fully developed. our child when a tantrum overtakes them. over the brain.” When they are, your child will be able to In “The Science of Parenting: How to- No one wants his or her child to suffer control their emotions, but right now, they day’s brain research can help you raise emotionally, yet we all want to help ease need you to show them the way and be happy, emotionally balanced children,” our child out of the tantrum as soon as their safe place to fall. author Margot Sunderland explains how possible, too. Here are five things you can “It is important that you take a genuine what a child needs the absolute most in do to help your child in the heat of the distress tantrum seriously and meet your that flurry of emotion is patience and moment: child’s pain of loss, frustration, or acute understanding, not time outs. Tantrums, disappointment with sympathy and un- and distress tantrums in particular, are a Remain calm derstanding,” says Sunderland. “When you biological function. This is the most important thing you do this, you will be helping your child to “Distress tantrums happen because es- can do and it has nothing to do with your develop vital stress-regulating systems in sential brain pathways between a child’s child. It is up to you to set the tone, and his higher brain.” higher brain and his lower brain haven’t it’s vital that you not inflame the already Danielle Sullivan is a writer living in New developed yet,” writes Sunderland. “These stressful moment with yelling or anger. York City. Follow her on Instagram @Deewrite.

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November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 11 Why can’t my child By Jan Pierce

ne of the most basic benchmarks in your child’s academic devel- O opment is learning to read. And reading is the skill that opens the doors to all other learning. So what can you do when it becomes apparent that your read? child is struggling to become a good reader? How to help overcome the struggle Never too late It’s never too late to add read-alouds that requires knowing all of the alpha- attention problems: Children with to your daily life. Kids love stories, and bet sounds plus the combinations they significant attention problems find it dif- there are endless choices for topics. If make, plus understanding reading rules ficult to focus on reading skills long you’ve “failed” to read to your kids, begin such as a silent e at the end of “bike.” enough to be successful. today. In short order, you’ll find you Vocabulary: A healthy, growing vo- Memory: Some children have diffi- enjoy reading together as much as your cabulary is one of the best indicators of culty remembering the shape of a let- children do. success in learning. Knowing the mean- ter or the sound it makes. They require And the more time children spend in ing of words and being able to learn new extra practice to become successful in reading activities, the easier it is for them words regularly is a great plus in becom- learning. to become readers, too. ing a fluent reader. The more a child Second language: For the child learn- Aside from lack of exposure to read- reads, the bigger the vocabulary. ing English as a second language, it is ing experiences, there are many reasons Fluency: Once decoding skills are de- important to know that it takes approxi- why children do not learn to read easily. veloped, we expect children to be able mately six years to become fluent in Eng- These can range from simple understand- to read aloud fluently. A strong reader lish speaking and reading skills. ings about letters and sounds to process- should sound as if he or she is talking Vision problems: Some children have ing problems that may require profes- naturally with the proper ups and downs difficulty with focusing on words even sional interventions. in tone, and with the impression that though they may test 20-20 on basic It’s important to know that the ear- there is strong understanding. reading tests. If there is blurring or lier reading problems are diagnosed and comprehension: It is fairly common double vision, or difficulty in “tracking” treated, the better the results. for children to read as if they understand, along the lines, children can be helped but upon further questioning, it becomes by reading therapies. Some basic reading problems apparent that they really haven’t made It’s extremely important for parents Letter sound awareness: In order to sense of the words. Comprehension is to request testing by their school if read- read, children must have the understand- more than just remembering facts; it’s ing difficulties are evident. The stigma ing that words are made up of smaller being able to discuss the information in that develops when a child is placed bits called phonemes. Phonemes are the meaningful ways. For example the color in a “slow” reading group or the self- sound chunks made by letters. For ex- of Cinderella’s ballgown isn’t nearly as confidence problems that arise when ample the word cat has three phonemes: important to know as the fact that she’s the child knows he “can’t do it” are det- the k sound of c, the vowel a, and the “t” leaving her scullery position to capture rimental to learning in themselves. Early sound of t. While a child hears the word the heart of the prince. diagnosis and intentional interventions cat as a whole, it’s important to be able can make all the difference for a strug- to break the word into sound chunks for Other issues gling reader. the purpose of learning to read. auditory or visual processing: These Decoding: Decoding is the process of problems require specific testing by pro- What parents can do seeing the letters and then “saying” the fessionals and therapy to help the brain Your home and the life you live with sounds aloud. (Of course silent reading identify sounds or visuals correctly and your family is your child’s first and most comes later.) Decoding is a complex skill be able to interpret them. important school. There are many ways

12 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Why can’t my child By Jan Pierce ne of the most basic benchmarks in your child’s academic devel- O opment is learning to read. And reading is the skill that opens the doors to all other learning. So what can you do when it becomes apparent that your read? child is struggling to become a good reader? How to help overcome the struggle Never too late It’s never too late to add read-alouds that requires knowing all of the alpha- attention problems: Children with to your daily life. Kids love stories, and bet sounds plus the combinations they significant attention problems find it dif- there are endless choices for topics. If make, plus understanding reading rules ficult to focus on reading skills long you’ve “failed” to read to your kids, begin such as a silent e at the end of “bike.” enough to be successful. today. In short order, you’ll find you Vocabulary: A healthy, growing vo- Memory: Some children have diffi- enjoy reading together as much as your cabulary is one of the best indicators of culty remembering the shape of a let- children do. success in learning. Knowing the mean- ter or the sound it makes. They require And the more time children spend in ing of words and being able to learn new extra practice to become successful in reading activities, the easier it is for them words regularly is a great plus in becom- learning. to become readers, too. ing a fluent reader. The more a child Second language: For the child learn- Aside from lack of exposure to read- reads, the bigger the vocabulary. ing English as a second language, it is ing experiences, there are many reasons Fluency: Once decoding skills are de- important to know that it takes approxi- why children do not learn to read easily. veloped, we expect children to be able mately six years to become fluent in Eng- These can range from simple understand- to read aloud fluently. A strong reader lish speaking and reading skills. ings about letters and sounds to process- should sound as if he or she is talking Vision problems: Some children have ing problems that may require profes- naturally with the proper ups and downs difficulty with focusing on words even you can support your struggling reader sional interventions. in tone, and with the impression that though they may test 20-20 on basic at home. It’s important to know that the earlier reading problems It’s important to know that the ear- there is strong understanding. reading tests. If there is blurring or Have fun with books, leading your lier reading problems are diagnosed and comprehension: It is fairly common double vision, or difficulty in “tracking” child to an appreciation of the printed are diagnosed and treated, the better the results. treated, the better the results. for children to read as if they understand, along the lines, children can be helped word. Find books, comics, or any other but upon further questioning, it becomes by reading therapies. printed material that your child loves Some basic reading problems apparent that they really haven’t made It’s extremely important for parents and read them together. gether. Play “I’m thinking of a word that the new topic of interest, be sure to find Letter sound awareness: In order to sense of the words. Comprehension is to request testing by their school if read- Develop awareness of letters, sounds, begins with the letter b.” lots of books about them. read, children must have the understand- more than just remembering facts; it’s ing difficulties are evident. The stigma and word parts in daily life. Notice the Sound out words and learn word pat- An excellent resource for all things ing that words are made up of smaller being able to discuss the information in that develops when a child is placed stop sign at the corner and the McDon- terns. “Let’s think of all the –ill words related to reading and reading success is bits called phonemes. Phonemes are the meaningful ways. For example the color in a “slow” reading group or the self- ald’s sign as you buy your Happy Meal. we can.” the website www.readingrockets.org. sound chunks made by letters. For ex- of Cinderella’s ballgown isn’t nearly as confidence problems that arise when Learn the alphabet in many ways such Take time to talk about and reflect Reading is a very complex skill, and ample the word cat has three phonemes: important to know as the fact that she’s the child knows he “can’t do it” are det- as magnetic letters, by singing songs, on the meaning of the stories you read. there is no “one size fits all” when it the k sound of c, the vowel a, and the “t” leaving her scullery position to capture rimental to learning in themselves. Early using letter blocks, reciting the alphabet “Why do you think Goldilocks went into comes to solving reading problems. sound of t. While a child hears the word the heart of the prince. diagnosis and intentional interventions as you climb stairs, doing dot-to-dots, the Three Bears’ house?” “Why does Cu- Be sure to contact your child’s teacher cat as a whole, it’s important to be able can make all the difference for a strug- tracing the letter in cornmeal. rious George get into so much trouble?” and the school’s professional staff to to break the word into sound chunks for Other issues gling reader. Build word awareness. Teach your Finally, there is no substitute for lots diagnose and begin to solve your child’s the purpose of learning to read. auditory or visual processing: These child to recognize and write his or her and lots of reading. Enjoy old favorites, reading issues. Decoding: Decoding is the process of problems require specific testing by pro- What parents can do name, and then expand known words and find exciting new titles. Even strug- Jan Pierce is a retired teacher and reading seeing the letters and then “saying” the fessionals and therapy to help the brain Your home and the life you live with such as the names of siblings, common gling readers will work hard to succeed if specialist. She is the author of Homegrown sounds aloud. (Of course silent reading identify sounds or visuals correctly and your family is your child’s first and most food items, color words, etc. they’re motivated. Make the most of your Readers and Homegrown Family Fun: Un- comes later.) Decoding is a complex skill be able to interpret them. important school. There are many ways Play rhyming games and sing songs to- child’s current interests. If dinosaurs are plugged. Find Jan at www.janpierce.net.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 13 A helping hand Online parent training gets A+ for convenience, results

By Mike Civello

sk any parent to name their biggest child-rearing challenge and A nine times out of 10, you’ll probably get the same answer — managing behavior. All children have behavior issues — whether it is adhering to morning routines like brushing teeth, getting dressed, and getting out of the house in time for school, or playing cooperatively with their siblings, doing their chores without com- plaint, or even just sitting quietly in a chair throughout an entire special event. All can be wearing on parents.

Identifying triggers The behavior challenges for children with special needs like autism can be sig- nificantly more difficult for parents and caregivers to manage. Children with developmental disabilities often have trouble navigating the basic mechanics of daily living and can often struggle with even simple social interactions and tasks. Break- downs happen, as they do with any child, but for children with special needs, they likely happen more often or are sparked by a host of unpredictable triggers. Key, of course, is understanding that children with developmental disabilities are the only one struggling to bail a sink- parents in the US and globally. rarely act out to simply garner parental ing ship. attention or as a strategy to secure more The good news is that training to de- Do the numbers video game time. More likely, outbursts velop productive strategies does help. A According to the Centers for Disease are triggered by frustration — the inability recent study of parents of children with de- Control, one in every six children (or to clearly communicate basic needs and velopmental disabilities reports that par- nearly 450 million worldwide) is diagnosed desires, or by environmental prompts like ents who received training in behavioral with a developmental disability. However, moderate to extreme sensitivities to light, intervention techniques saw a 57 percent even in the U.S. and in large metropolitan sound, or even touch. decline in problem behaviors associated areas like New York City, getting the right Parents and caregivers typically are with their special needs child compared to support — even when covered by an em- caught in the crosshairs. Moreover, be- a parent who was simply educated about ployer’s benefit plan — is a challenge. cause an individual child’s behavior trig- interventions. Trained parents, the study With only 18,000 board certified Behav- gers can be hard to identify and even more reported, have more than 20 percent bet- ior Analysts worldwide, finding an expert complicated to manage (or which require ter outcomes in managing their child’s be- provider to treat your child — not just in adaptation on the part of a caregiver), havior than those without training. smaller, or non-urban locales, but even in successfully navigating these situations The challenge, however, is that training New York, the city that never sleeps, the can take enormous time, creativity, and parents of children with disabilities can city with everything — is, at best, extremely patience. And the situations often feel be very expensive and resources — such difficult. Finding someone willing and able overwhelming. as skilled and geographically convenient to go above and beyond to train you consis- behavioral therapists — are quite scarce. tently to reinforce and manage behavioral Training vs. education Support systems do exist, but may not be plans in the home is nearly impossible. Every parent and every caregiver has easy to identify or be readily accessible. moments of feeling overwhelmed — and Finding a quality behavior therapist for Technology matters isolation. Parents of children with special your child can be — and often is — a seem- Technology — not robots, but videos, needs, in particular, often feel like they ingly insurmountable challenge for many chat rooms, online guides, etc. — is step-

14 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 ping in to fill the void for millions of parents seeking the tools, resources, and skills to Parents of children with special needs often feel implement basic behavioral intervention therapy and help their children. Technology like they are the only one struggling to bail a is addressing the problem of how to serve so many children by too few behavioral sinking ship. The good news is that training to A helping hand experts by making it possible to cost-effectively and cost-efficiently scale parent-train- develop productive strategies does help. Online parent training gets A+ for convenience, results ing resources and tele-consultative services to parents wherever they live. By Mike Civello Increasingly companies (and their em- Companies like Amazon and Pfizer are stigmatization or lack of employer support ployees) are rethinking the delivery of tapping into low- or no-cost (to employees) that could jeopardize their careers, so sk any parent to name their big- (and access to) effective behavioral inter- third-party services to deliver needed sup- most human resources departments have gest child-rearing challenge and vention and caregiver-support services port and training to their employees caring only anecdotal evidence to evaluate. A nine times out of 10, you’ll prob- and looking to the cloud to turn the behav- for children with special needs. Altruism Managing challenges at home along ably get the same answer — managing ioral therapy delivery model on its head. aside, employers benefit from improved with the fear that promotions will be held behavior. Rather than bemoan the one (therapist) productivity (reduced stress, greater focus, back and projects will be passed on to All children have behavior issues — to many (children/families) ratio, employ- less absenteeism) and greater employee other colleagues is not a healthy approach whether it is adhering to morning rou- ers, educators, and healthcare providers loyalty. The unspoken understanding is that to work. And employers may not know the tines like brushing teeth, getting dressed, are leveraging technology to deliver support your best interest is in their best interests. cause, but they do notice when productiv- and getting out of the house in time for services to enable many (families) to benefit ity suffers. So step forward. Let them know school, or playing cooperatively with their from a single evidence-based resource. Stepping forward matters you (and your unique family) exist. And siblings, doing their chores without com- These services can include instruc- Human resources and benefits execu- don’t just ask for help. Ask for training. plaint, or even just sitting quietly in a chair tional e-learning videos offering step-by- tives, who want to do more to help employ- Mike Civello ([email protected]) is throughout an entire special event. All can step training to help parents teach their ees care for their children with disabilities, vice president of employee benefits for Rethink be wearing on parents. child the art of daily living and human also understand how crucial this support Benefits (www.rethinkbenefits.com), a leading interaction, develop daily routines like can be to bolstering employee morale. But global online solution delivering a comprehen- Identifying triggers brushing teeth independently, or social- to make the cost-benefit case to manage- sive video-based treatment program, behavior The behavior challenges for children ization strategies, like making eye contact ment, they need to know how many em- intervention planning tools, training for care- with special needs like autism can be sig- when prompted, or develop such long- ployees are impacted. At issue is that few givers, individualized assessments, and online nificantly more difficult for parents and term life skills as how to help the child parents with special needs children are skills-based activities for individuals caring for caregivers to manage. Children with devel- prepare for a job interview. brave enough to step forward. Many fear those with developmental disabilities. opmental disabilities often have trouble navigating the basic mechanics of daily living and can often struggle with even simple social interactions and tasks. Break- downs happen, as they do with any child, but for children with special needs, they likely happen more often or are sparked by a host of unpredictable triggers. Key, of course, is understanding that children with developmental disabilities are the only one struggling to bail a sink- parents in the US and globally. rarely act out to simply garner parental ing ship. attention or as a strategy to secure more The good news is that training to de- Do the numbers video game time. More likely, outbursts velop productive strategies does help. A According to the Centers for Disease are triggered by frustration — the inability recent study of parents of children with de- Control, one in every six children (or to clearly communicate basic needs and velopmental disabilities reports that par- nearly 450 million worldwide) is diagnosed desires, or by environmental prompts like ents who received training in behavioral with a developmental disability. However, moderate to extreme sensitivities to light, intervention techniques saw a 57 percent even in the U.S. and in large metropolitan sound, or even touch. decline in problem behaviors associated areas like New York City, getting the right Parents and caregivers typically are with their special needs child compared to support — even when covered by an em- caught in the crosshairs. Moreover, be- a parent who was simply educated about ployer’s benefit plan — is a challenge. cause an individual child’s behavior trig- interventions. Trained parents, the study With only 18,000 board certified Behav- gers can be hard to identify and even more reported, have more than 20 percent bet- ior Analysts worldwide, finding an expert complicated to manage (or which require ter outcomes in managing their child’s be- provider to treat your child — not just in adaptation on the part of a caregiver), havior than those without training. smaller, or non-urban locales, but even in successfully navigating these situations The challenge, however, is that training New York, the city that never sleeps, the can take enormous time, creativity, and parents of children with disabilities can city with everything — is, at best, extremely patience. And the situations often feel be very expensive and resources — such difficult. Finding someone willing and able overwhelming. as skilled and geographically convenient to go above and beyond to train you consis- behavioral therapists — are quite scarce. tently to reinforce and manage behavioral Training vs. education Support systems do exist, but may not be plans in the home is nearly impossible. Every parent and every caregiver has easy to identify or be readily accessible. moments of feeling overwhelmed — and Finding a quality behavior therapist for Technology matters isolation. Parents of children with special your child can be — and often is — a seem- Technology — not robots, but videos, needs, in particular, often feel like they ingly insurmountable challenge for many chat rooms, online guides, etc. — is step-

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 15 Choosing your words carefully Taking a closer look at how we speak to our children

By Allison Plitt tified the problem, he and his son brain- stormed together to figure out that when hen was the last time you the 3-year-old helped his father feed the were at a neighborhood play- baby, he felt included. Coincidentally, the W ground and heard a father yell older son also stopped climbing up on the to his 3-year-old son, “Share!” Then you table to hit the chandelier. turn around and see a mother tell her Furthermore, Lehr thinks that parents 4-year-old daughter, “Say ‘thank you.’” use phrases with their children about Two minutes later, you spy a 5-year-old ideas that they are not yet able to com- hitting another child and his nanny tell- prehend. When a father tells his three- ing him, “Behave yourself.” year-old son to “share” his toy drum These are all familiar scenes of how every time another child wants it, he is adults are speaking to and interacting with not only ignoring his own child’s right to children in their communities, schools, play with his toy in the time he needs, and homes across the country. Accord- but the parent is expecting the toddler ing to author Jennifer Lehr and her book to feel empathy — a concept most chil- “Parentspeak: What’s Wrong with How dren don’t develop until they are 6 or 7 We Talk to Our Children — and What to years old. Say Instead,” these sayings, no matter how Another phrase quoted in the book well-intended, can have a negative impact is when parents tell their kids to say on children. “thank you” every time something is Lehr writes that although neuroscien- given to them. Instead of getting upset tists argue that children’s “brains aren’t when such phrases aren’t being used, fully developed” until their mid-20s, kids the parent can tell their child that are human beings whose thoughts and they don’t feel they are being appre- feelings should be respected by the adults ciated when spoken to in such a de- who care for them. Clarifying that children ing conflicts manding manner. Lehr also has the adults are not subservient underlings who should known as nonviolent communi- examine how they speak to their children do what they are told to all the time, Lehr cation that relied on identifying the under- since most kids model their behavior after writes that kids have the right to speak up lying need or needs driving our behavior their parents’ actions. for themselves when they are feeling over- in order to find more mutually acceptable The most overused expression is prob- whelmed or uncomfortable. ways to meet the need.” ably “good job,” says Lehr, which parents One word Lehr thinks should be elimi- Citing a real-life example in the book can apply to anything their child does nated from our vocabulary is “misbehav- that Lehr remembered from one of her that pleases them. She recounts when she ior.” She believes that when parents tell parenting classes, she shares the story of observed a 4-year-old girl who didn’t want their children, “behave yourself” that this a father who would feed his baby break- to put her coat on to go outside. Instead phrase is inappropriate to describe chil- fast at the table in the morning. Every time of asking her child why she didn’t want to dren’s actions. the father fed the baby, his 3-year-old son wear her coat, the mother told her daugh- Instead, Lehr believes every child has would stand up on the table and bang the ter “good job” four times — after every essential needs and when they are not chandelier with his hands. successful effort the girl made to put on being met, the child acts in the most ef- Instead of punishing the child, the fa- her coat. fective way possible to get what he needs. ther asked his son to explain why he was Not only can parents use the phrase Lehr explains, “In the 1960’s, [American acting the way he was. The father found “good job” to manipulate their kids to psychologist] Marshall Rosenberg devel- out that the older child felt excluded from do things they want, it has a harmful ef- oped a method of communicating and solv- the breakfast scene. Once the father iden- fect on children as they learn to do only

16 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 ing their children, “Do you want a time- out?” Lehr says that when children are upset, they need to be with their parents to help them identify their feelings and solve problems. Not only does a “time- Choosing your out” isolate a child, but the parent is doing the exact opposite of what the child needs. If a parent sends a child away every time he acts inappropriately, he will begin to fear abandonment. He will think he can only act in certain way words carefully to be with his parents. No matter how a child acts, the parent must love, support, and help their child. Taking a closer look at how we speak to our children When a child knows he is loved un- conditionally, he feels more secure, By Allison Plitt tified the problem, he and his son brain- more aware of his emotions, and stormed together to figure out that when more likely to take healthy risks. hen was the last time you the 3-year-old helped his father feed the The book ends with the most were at a neighborhood play- baby, he felt included. Coincidentally, the detrimental phrase of all: “Do you W ground and heard a father yell older son also stopped climbing up on the want a spanking?” Children who to his 3-year-old son, “Share!” Then you table to hit the chandelier. are spanked become more aggres- turn around and see a mother tell her Furthermore, Lehr thinks that parents sive and delinquent as well as more 4-year-old daughter, “Say ‘thank you.’” use phrases with their children about likely to abuse drugs and alcohol and Two minutes later, you spy a 5-year-old ideas that they are not yet able to com- develop mental illness. When hitting another child and his nanny tell- prehend. When a father tells his three- children are physically ing him, “Behave yourself.” year-old son to “share” his toy drum abused, Lehr writes that These are all familiar scenes of how every time another child wants it, he is “the prefrontal cortex adults are speaking to and interacting with not only ignoring his own child’s right to of their brains” is af- children in their communities, schools, play with his toy in the time he needs, fected, which low- and homes across the country. Accord- but the parent is expecting the toddler ers their IQ. ing to author Jennifer Lehr and her book to feel empathy — a concept most chil- While there are “Parentspeak: What’s Wrong with How dren don’t develop until they are 6 or 7 50 countries that We Talk to Our Children — and What to years old. have outlawed cor- Say Instead,” these sayings, no matter how Another phrase quoted in the book poral punishment of well-intended, can have a negative impact is when parents tell their kids to say things that please their parents. Later on together a signal the child can give the children, the United States is not one of on children. “thank you” every time something is in life, these children will become adults adult to have the tickling stopped. Al- them. In fact, Lehr writes, “A 2013 Harris Lehr writes that although neuroscien- given to them. Instead of getting upset who continue to people-please and never though tickling seems like innocent play, Poll tells us that 81 percent of Americans tists argue that children’s “brains aren’t when such phrases aren’t being used, grasp a true sense of their own genuine Lehr reminds us, “If a child is taught as believe it’s acceptable to ‘spank’ a child.” fully developed” until their mid-20s, kids the parent can tell their child that thoughts, feelings, or needs. a toddler that ‘no’ or ‘stop’ just means While 100 countries worldwide have are human beings whose thoughts and they don’t feel they are being appre- Instead of constantly “good jobbing” someone will force you into their arms banned corporal punishment in schools, feelings should be respected by the adults ciated when spoken to in such a de- every developmental milestone a child or keep tickling you or kiss you anyway, Lehr adds that the United States does who care for them. Clarifying that children ing conflicts manding manner. Lehr also has the adults makes, sometimes it is best to just stay what do we expect from them as teens nothing to physically protect students are not subservient underlings who should known as nonviolent communi- examine how they speak to their children silent. Another way parents can avoid say- and adults?” from their teachers in classrooms. do what they are told to all the time, Lehr cation that relied on identifying the under- since most kids model their behavior after ing “good job” is by simply stating what Another illustration of this is when rela- “Estimates from the federal Department writes that kids have the right to speak up lying need or needs driving our behavior their parents’ actions. they are observing. Lehr says she compli- tives come to visit, the parents automati- of Education during the 2012-2013 school for themselves when they are feeling over- in order to find more mutually acceptable The most overused expression is prob- mented her son on his fort-building project cally tell their children, “Give Grandma a year alone” show thousands of children whelmed or uncomfortable. ways to meet the need.” ably “good job,” says Lehr, which parents by saying, “This is so elaborate … This is kiss.” Again, disregarding how their chil- across the United States receiving corpo- One word Lehr thinks should be elimi- Citing a real-life example in the book can apply to anything their child does your longest construction ever! What a dren are actually feeling, parents expect ral punishment in classrooms. nated from our vocabulary is “misbehav- that Lehr remembered from one of her that pleases them. She recounts when she lot of work.” children to kiss or hug relatives on com- “A disproportionate number of those ior.” She believes that when parents tell parenting classes, she shares the story of observed a 4-year-old girl who didn’t want Lehr also recommends adults respect mand. Some children need to warm up to children were boys and African-Ameri- their children, “behave yourself” that this a father who would feed his baby break- to put her coat on to go outside. Instead their children’s efforts at creating physi- adults they have not seen in a while before cans,” Lehr writes, “And even more tragi- phrase is inappropriate to describe chil- fast at the table in the morning. Every time of asking her child why she didn’t want to cal boundaries. She describes tickling as making physical contact. cally, many suffered from disabilities.” dren’s actions. the father fed the baby, his 3-year-old son wear her coat, the mother told her daugh- a manipulative way for a parent to get a Parents, of course, want their visitors to Lehr ends her book on this sad note, Instead, Lehr believes every child has would stand up on the table and bang the ter “good job” four times — after every sad child to smile. It can also turn into a feel welcome in their home. If parents and perhaps hoping that these facts will pro- essential needs and when they are not chandelier with his hands. successful effort the girl made to put on nightmare for some children who cannot children brainstorm together, they can voke us, as a country, into action to advo- being met, the child acts in the most ef- Instead of punishing the child, the fa- her coat. express their desire to have the tickling find alternative ways to initially welcome cate for our children’s mental and physical fective way possible to get what he needs. ther asked his son to explain why he was Not only can parents use the phrase stopped while the parent presses on. family members such as the child taking wellbeing. Lehr explains, “In the 1960’s, [American acting the way he was. The father found “good job” to manipulate their kids to Lehr says adults should never tickle a coat, offering a beverage, or drawing a Allison Plitt is a frequent contributor to NY psychologist] Marshall Rosenberg devel- out that the older child felt excluded from do things they want, it has a harmful ef- children who cannot speak. If parents picture for the guest. Parenting and lives in Queens with her 11-year- oped a method of communicating and solv- the breakfast scene. Once the father iden- fect on children as they learn to do only tickle older children, they should discuss Another faux pas parents make is ask- old daughter.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 17 Parents

Reasons to be thankful or many of us, November ushers day over a pizza or talk about our frus- in the frenzied start of the holiday tration, which then turns into a much- F season. It’s a time of preparation needed release and hopefully a smile. and mass hysteria for so many … includ- I’m thankful for the days when one of us ing myself. Just the thought of all the is struggling and the rest of us come to- cooking, preparing, shopping, wrapping, gether to help and comfort. Life is filled and hosting is enough to make me pull with challenges, but when you have a lov- the covers over my head and dream of ing support system, you can get through Jan. 2. it all. Still, Thanksgiving is a good opening I’m thankful for snuggling up with my act if you ask me (slightly less if you’re loving Lab, Django, on cold nights after hosting). It’s a time when we gather busy days. I’m thankful for Saturday af- around the table just to be with the peo- ternoons with my parents when they joke ple we love — no presents, no pressure, and laugh and love my kids. I’m thankful Just write mom nothing to do but sit there and enjoy each each and every night when we all get Danielle Sullivan other’s company — and try your best to home and are together again. I’m thank- avoid pulling out your phone, and actu- ful for the never ending hearty laughs ally talk. that make our eyes tear when something With all of the horrendous happen- unexpectedly happens. Those are the ings in our world, taking one day to just memories we will carry with us. enjoy each other is a blessing. Most of When you think of what fills your “This Is Us,” played by Milo Ventimiglia, us, including our children, keep up such heart, it is never going to be the new perhaps said it best: “I am thankful for a hectic daily pace that the majority of phone, jewelry, or car. It’s not even going my family. I’m thankful that we’re all safe, the days can easily become a series of to be the big party or fancy vacation. It’s and there’s no one in the world that I’d chaotic to-do lists. just not. rather be too hot or too cold with.” Yet the things I am most thankful for Our most special moments lie in the Danielle Sullivan is a writer living in New are the stark opposite, in fact. common, everyday occurrences. York City. Follow her on Instagram @Dee- I’m thankful for the times we share our Jack Pearson on the popular show, write.

18 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Parents

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WINDMILL MONTESSORI SCHOOL Reasons to be thankful WINDMILL MONTESSORI SCHOOL Steppingstones,WINDMILL Preschool, Elementary, MONTESSORI JHS & SCHOOL or many of us, November ushers day over a pizza or talk about our frus- P.S. 54 Academic Primary/ Elementary Creative Writing Summer Camp Steppingstones, Preschool, Elementary, JHS & in the frenzied start of the holiday tration, which then turns into a much- The Magnet School Academic Primary/ ElementaryAfterschool Creative Program Writing Summer Camp Steppingstones, Preschool, Elementary, JHS & season. It’s a time of preparation needed release and hopefully a smile. Happy LearnersAfterschool (ages 2.3-14) Program & Happy Campers (ages 3-12) F for Environmental Happy LearnersAcademic (ages 2.3-14) Primary/ & Happy ElementaryCampers (ages 3-12) Creative Writing Summer Camp and mass hysteria for so many … includ- I’m thankful for the days when one of us Science, Technology ing myself. Just the thought of all the is struggling and the rest of us come to- A P E A C E F U L P L A C E T O L E A R N SAfterschool I N C E 1 9 4 1 Program A P E A C E F U L P L A C E T O L E A R N S I N C E 1 9 4 1 cooking, preparing, shopping, wrapping, gether to help and comfort. Life is filled & Community Happy Learners (ages 2.3-14) & Happy Campers (ages 3-12) and hosting is enough to make me pull with challenges, but when you have a lov- Wellness the covers over my head and dream of ing support system, you can get through A P E A C E F U L P L A C E T O L E A R N S I N C E 1 9 4 1 Jan. 2. it all. Seats still available Still, Thanksgiving is a good opening I’m thankful for snuggling up with my act if you ask me (slightly less if you’re loving Lab, Django, on cold nights after for grades PreK–5 hosting). It’s a time when we gather busy days. I’m thankful for Saturday af- Open House & School Tours Windmill’s environment encourages children to : OPEN HOUSE around the table just to be with the peo- ternoons with my parents when they joke • learn naturally at their own pace Wed., Nov. 8th ple we love — no presents, no pressure, and laugh and love my kids. I’m thankful Just write mom We conduct open house • reach their natural potential Windmill’s environment encourages children to : Tue., Nov. 21st th nothing to do but sit there and enjoy each each and every night when we all get Danielle Sullivan tours all day every day. • find and develop their own interests OPEN HOUSE • get the individual attention needed to thrive th other’s company — and try your best to home and are together again. I’m thank- Come on in for a visit! • learn naturally at their own pace Wed., Dec. 6th • develop interrelationships, community and reach their natural potential Tuesday, September 12 th avoid pulling out your phone, and actu- ful for the never ending hearty laughs If you would like • leadership skills, and promote understanding Mon., Dec. 18th ally talk. that make our eyes tear when something to make an appointment, • find and develop their own interests Tuesday,9-10:30am September 26th Our Montessori curriculum and environment encompasses:es: With all of the horrendous happen- unexpectedly happens. Those are the you are welcome to call us • get the individual attention needed to thrive Wednesday, October 11 Windmill’s• The Montessori environment Method, language, encourages humanities, childrenculture,ulture, to : th ings in our world, taking one day to just memories we will carry with us. at the number listed below. • develop geography, interrelationships, mathematics, sciences, community technology, and and d comcomputersTuesday, October 24OPEN HOUSE French, learn Yoga, naturally Music, Art at their own pace th enjoy each other is a blessing. Most of When you think of what fills your “This Is Us,” played by Milo Ventimiglia, We are accepting students • leadership skills, and promote understanding us, including our children, keep up such heart, it is never going to be the new perhaps said it best: “I am thankful for on each grade level. • reach their natural potential 9:00 - 10:30Tuesday, am September 12 th Our Montessori curriculum718-375-7973 and environment encompasses: 718-375-4277es: a hectic daily pace that the majority of phone, jewelry, or car. It’s not even going my family. I’m thankful that we’re all safe, • find and develop their own interests Tuesday, September 26 the days can easily become a series of to be the big party or fancy vacation. It’s and there’s no one in the world that I’d 195 Sandford Street, Brooklyn, NY 11205 • The [email protected] Method, language, humanities, | www.windmontsch.org culture,ulture, th chaotic to-do lists. just not. rather be too hot or too cold with.” • geography, get the mathematics, individualfollow sciences, attention us on Facebook technology, neededand Twitter andd comcomputers to thrive Wednesday, October 11 Yet the things I am most thankful for Our most special moments lie in the Danielle Sullivan is a writer living in New •• French,developWindmill Yoga, isMusic,interrelationships, non-sectarian. Art Licensed by The New community York City Department ofand Health Tuesday, October 24 are the stark opposite, in fact. common, everyday occurrences. York City. Follow her on Instagram @Dee- 718-834-6752 leadership skills,Affiliated with and The Americ promotean Montessori understanding Society I’m thankful for the times we share our Jack Pearson on the popular show, write. MagnetSchool54.org 1 3 1 7 A v e n u e T @718-375-7973 E a s t 1 4 t h S t r e e t B 718-375-4277 r o o k l y n, N Y 1 1 2 2 9 9:00 - 10:30 am Our Montessori curriculum and environment encompasses:es: [email protected] 2017 •| Brooklynwww.windmontsch.org Family 19 • The Montessorifollow Method, us on Facebook language, and Twitter humanities, culture,ulture, geography, mathematics, sciences, technology, andd comcomputers Windmill is non-sectarian. Licensed by The New York City Department of Health • French, Yoga,Affiliated Music, with The Art Americ an Montessori Society 1 3 1 7 A v e n u e T @ E a s t 1 4 t h S t r e e t B r o o k l y n, N Y 1 1 2 2 9 718-375-7973 718-375-4277

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Windmill is non-sectarian. Licensed by The New York City Department of Health Affiliated with The American Montessori Society 1 3 1 7 A v e n u e T @ E a s t 1 4 t h S t r e e t B r o o k l y n, N Y 1 1 2 2 9 Alternatives and solutions Make an effort to spend time with your relatives, even if it differs from what you’ve done in the past. This will go a long way toward keeping the peace. Truly happy If location is not an issue, plan ahead to ensure both a peaceful morning with just your spouse and kids, followed by a road To keep the holidays enjoyable, reinvent them trip to Grandma’s later in the day. However, pack ahead of time and load gifts in the car By Myrna Beth haskell will be no dressy outfits to don, no adverse ping, wrapping, concerts, and travel to the the day before to avoid a frantic exit. road conditions to navigate, and you’ll mix, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Some families choose to spend the eve- he holidays are approaching, and have two more days to wrap everyone Of course, you also have the stress of fit- ning before the holiday with their nuclear you are curled up by the fire en- else’s gifts. Sheer bliss! ting in time with both sides of the family. family, so they can start their own tradi- T visioning a cozy celebration with Uh-oh. What will they say if you don’t However, expectations can be the biggest tions, such as making festive popcorn your fledgling, nuclear family — two tod- come? Will Nana have a fit and write you stressor of all. Everyone seeks the Norman balls and watching classic holiday movies dlers and a baby on the way. The thought out of the will? Will your sisters tell you Rockwell version, where children are awe- or caroling at the local firehouse. of long-distance travel has you exhausted that you’ve got a lousy temperament, one struck, and adults are playful and relaxed. “Very young children have no expecta- just thinking about it. You would rather that rivals Ebenezer Scrooge? In a quest to make the perfect celebration, tions,” Nance explains. “Make ornaments, visit with family when things are a little There are diplomatic ways to ensure many families combust under the pres- sing songs, open gifts and call it a celebra- less hectic — perhaps a day or two after that your holiday celebration suits your sure, and age-old quarrels and tempers tion.” Then, the next day’s focus is on the the holiday, because you have your own immediate family without alienating the take center stage. Mix in several children rest of the family. low-key celebration in mind, one which rest of your clan. After all, you love them who haven’t napped, and — bingo — even Hibbert recalls, “Several years ago, I centers around toddlers tearing open gifts all dearly and don’t want to put a crimp in the adults are in meltdown mode. wanted a more meaningful Christmas Eve and you lounging in PJs all afternoon. everyone else’s plans, or worse yet, cause Take a deep breath and consider your for my nuclear family, and we started a You’ll snuggle with your children and read long-lasting hurt feelings. ultimate goal. Do you want to spend stress- ‘Christmas Jar’ tradition. All year, we col- classic stories, such as “How the Grinch free time surrounded by the ones you lect money in our Christmas Jar, and on Stole Christmas.” Afterward, you’ll dine Stress on Young Families love? Generally, low-key celebrations are Christmas Eve, we pile in the car to find on a take-out holiday dinner, because you The holidays can be a stressful time better for young children who tend to un- a person in need to receive the jar. My will be too wiped out to deal with meal under normal circumstances. Busy fami- ravel when exposed to long hours, erratic parents and siblings heard about this and preparation and a massive cleanup. There lies are already on overload. Add shop- schedules and lots of unfamiliar people. wanted to join in.” Hibbert’s extended So, racing from Grandma’s to Cousin Jim’s, family now gathers each year to deliver and then somehow squeezing in Aunt Lu- their jars on Christmas Eve and share a cy’s before bedtime, will only cause ex- traditional breakfast the next morning. Traveling with young children haustion and resentment. Perhaps it’s time Afterward, all families head home for their Whether a trip to grandma Mary’s • S a fe t y equipment: flashlight, reflec- to reinvent the holidays. individual celebrations. is a long drive or a flight away, travel- tor warning triangles, blanket, jumper According to an article posted by the stress or duress (e.g. after the birth of a enjoy the holidays. It was a wake-up call Having a “special date” for your family ing with young children can produce cables, water, etc. Mayo Clinic — “Stress, Depression and baby or during a time of grief). “During a for me.” She suggests using “I statements” celebration can also work (e.g. the week- myriad stressors if parents aren’t pre- • Bring USB charger for cellphone the Holidays: Tips for Coping” — parents particularly rough season of my family’s (e.g. “I feel exhausted and overwhelmed end before the holiday every year). Be pared. Here are some tips for a safe and • C h e c k ahead of time for rest stop should remember that the holidays don’t life, we had to do this. We told our [ex- when…”) because then you take owner- sure to make a big deal about it to all of stress-free journey: locations — stretch, use bathroom, have to be perfect. “As families change and tended family], as kindly as possible, that ship of your situation. those involved. A visit before the holiday throw a ball grow, traditions and rituals often change we just needed to be ‘us’ for this one year. Nicki Nance, a licensed psychotherapist could involve going to a special concert General: • Ta ke turns driving to avoid fatigue as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and Though there was some fallout, it didn’t and assistant professor of human services together or attending a tree lighting cer- • Avoid busiest travel dates and be open to creating new ones.” If travel is last. It showed our children that their and psychology at Beacon College in Lees- emony before spending some quality time. times By plane: out of the question, “Find new ways to cel- needs — and ours — are important,” Hib- burg, Fla., advises parents to help family Some families opt to bring in the New Year • L e av e extra time for mishaps and • E x p l a i n airport security to little ebrate together, such as sharing pictures, bert shares. members understand their predicament together as an alternative. weather-related delays ones ahead of time e-mails, or videos. Saying ‘yes’ when you while making it clear that extended family Nance suggests a holiday-go-to theme. • W h e n possible, plan to travel dur- • C h e c k latest rules on banned items should say ‘no’ can leave you feeling re- Broaching the subject relationships are important. She suggests “Meet somewhere in-between at a theme ing hours your child sleeps and carry-on restrictions sentful and overwhelmed.” Deep down you know that you have to bringing up the topic by saying, “We want park, resort, or campsite. Fees to attend • Pa c k healthy snacks and water • I f possible, book a non-stop flight “Don’t give in to guilt,” cautions Chris- talk to your family about making some our visits with you to be special, but this can be given as gifts.” • Bring toys and reading materials — less chance for delays, loss of lug- tina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist, author changes, but you don’t want to upset any- year the kiddies are just too little for that “Remain open to changing needs as (add something new — activities with gage, etc. of “This is How We Grow” (Oracle Folio one. It’s always best to start with the truth to happen. We want to be part of the holi- your family grows. You may find that, a magnetic pieces are convenient while • C h e c k bag weights and size restric- Books), and host of Motherhood Radio and and an empathetic attitude. day, though, and hope you will be willing few years down the road, what worked for traveling) tions — particularly for carry-ons TV (www.motherhoodtv.com). “Guilt isn’t a Hibbert counsels, “Honesty is always to use Skype so we can still share in real your young family doesn’t work so well for • Pa c k medications (infant Tylenol, • D r e s s in layers: plane temperatures good reason to do anything, unless it is the the best policy. Too often, we go along with time.” If you explain your concerns in de- your not-so-young family. If you speak your inhaler, etc.) and first aid kit in acces- vary in the air and on the ground type of motivational guilt you need after extended family plans simply because we tail, but suggest another way of connect- needs kindly and honestly and are willing sible bag • Pa c k essentials in carry-on (dia- you’ve actually made a mistake. Most guilt don’t want to hurt any feelings, when all it ing, the discussion may go more smoothly to keep others’ perspectives in mind, you • D o n’ t forget your child’s comforter pers, bottles, extra clothing, etc.) is the depressive kind and only drags us really does is prolong the inevitable. If we than you imagined. will find that you can reinvent the holidays (Teddy bear or blanket) • It’s safer for children under 2 to down. Remember that saying ‘no’ to some- ignore or fail to honestly explain our feel- Be sure to tell your loved ones how as often as needed, and everyone will ben- • S t i c k to children’s meal schedules fly in a car seat. Check the Federal thing is saying ‘yes’ to something better. ings and desires for our own young fam- much you cherish your own childhood efit,” Hibbert says. Aviation Administration website for Remind yourself of what you’re saying ‘yes’ ily during the holidays, we end up feeling memories and that you want your kids to By car: approved car seats and harness-type to, and then let the guilt go.” resentful and frustrated.” Hibbert recalls, have special memories of the holidays, too Myrna Beth Haskell is an award-winning • C h e c k tires, oil, etc. Inspection up restraints: www.faa.gov/travelers/fly_ Hibbert explains that parents have to “I remember traveling with all six of our — both new traditions and those that are author (www.myrnahaskell.com). She is also to date? children// remember to prioritize their nuclear fam- kids the first year we had our large family shared by visiting grandparents and other co-founder and managing editor of Sanctuary ily needs, especially in times of major life and feeling so wiped out I couldn’t even relatives. (www.sanctuary-magazine.com).

20 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Alternatives and solutions Make an effort to spend time with your relatives, even if it differs from what you’ve done in the past. This will go a long way toward keeping the peace. Truly happy If location is not an issue, plan ahead to ensure both a peaceful morning with just your spouse and kids, followed by a road To keep the holidays enjoyable, reinvent them trip to Grandma’s later in the day. However, pack ahead of time and load gifts in the car By Myrna Beth haskell will be no dressy outfits to don, no adverse ping, wrapping, concerts, and travel to the the day before to avoid a frantic exit. road conditions to navigate, and you’ll mix, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Some families choose to spend the eve- he holidays are approaching, and have two more days to wrap everyone Of course, you also have the stress of fit- ning before the holiday with their nuclear you are curled up by the fire en- else’s gifts. Sheer bliss! ting in time with both sides of the family. family, so they can start their own tradi- T visioning a cozy celebration with Uh-oh. What will they say if you don’t However, expectations can be the biggest tions, such as making festive popcorn your fledgling, nuclear family — two tod- come? Will Nana have a fit and write you stressor of all. Everyone seeks the Norman balls and watching classic holiday movies dlers and a baby on the way. The thought out of the will? Will your sisters tell you Rockwell version, where children are awe- or caroling at the local firehouse. of long-distance travel has you exhausted that you’ve got a lousy temperament, one struck, and adults are playful and relaxed. “Very young children have no expecta- just thinking about it. You would rather that rivals Ebenezer Scrooge? In a quest to make the perfect celebration, tions,” Nance explains. “Make ornaments, visit with family when things are a little There are diplomatic ways to ensure many families combust under the pres- sing songs, open gifts and call it a celebra- less hectic — perhaps a day or two after that your holiday celebration suits your sure, and age-old quarrels and tempers tion.” Then, the next day’s focus is on the the holiday, because you have your own immediate family without alienating the take center stage. Mix in several children rest of the family. low-key celebration in mind, one which rest of your clan. After all, you love them who haven’t napped, and — bingo — even Hibbert recalls, “Several years ago, I centers around toddlers tearing open gifts all dearly and don’t want to put a crimp in the adults are in meltdown mode. wanted a more meaningful Christmas Eve and you lounging in PJs all afternoon. everyone else’s plans, or worse yet, cause Take a deep breath and consider your for my nuclear family, and we started a You’ll snuggle with your children and read long-lasting hurt feelings. ultimate goal. Do you want to spend stress- ‘Christmas Jar’ tradition. All year, we col- classic stories, such as “How the Grinch free time surrounded by the ones you lect money in our Christmas Jar, and on Stole Christmas.” Afterward, you’ll dine Stress on Young Families love? Generally, low-key celebrations are Christmas Eve, we pile in the car to find on a take-out holiday dinner, because you The holidays can be a stressful time better for young children who tend to un- a person in need to receive the jar. My will be too wiped out to deal with meal under normal circumstances. Busy fami- ravel when exposed to long hours, erratic parents and siblings heard about this and preparation and a massive cleanup. There lies are already on overload. Add shop- schedules and lots of unfamiliar people. wanted to join in.” Hibbert’s extended So, racing from Grandma’s to Cousin Jim’s, family now gathers each year to deliver and then somehow squeezing in Aunt Lu- their jars on Christmas Eve and share a cy’s before bedtime, will only cause ex- traditional breakfast the next morning. Traveling with young children haustion and resentment. Perhaps it’s time Afterward, all families head home for their Whether a trip to grandma Mary’s • S a fe t y equipment: flashlight, reflec- to reinvent the holidays. individual celebrations. is a long drive or a flight away, travel- tor warning triangles, blanket, jumper According to an article posted by the stress or duress (e.g. after the birth of a enjoy the holidays. It was a wake-up call Having a “special date” for your family ing with young children can produce cables, water, etc. Mayo Clinic — “Stress, Depression and baby or during a time of grief). “During a for me.” She suggests using “I statements” celebration can also work (e.g. the week- myriad stressors if parents aren’t pre- • Bring USB charger for cellphone the Holidays: Tips for Coping” — parents particularly rough season of my family’s (e.g. “I feel exhausted and overwhelmed end before the holiday every year). Be pared. Here are some tips for a safe and • C h e c k ahead of time for rest stop should remember that the holidays don’t life, we had to do this. We told our [ex- when…”) because then you take owner- sure to make a big deal about it to all of stress-free journey: locations — stretch, use bathroom, have to be perfect. “As families change and tended family], as kindly as possible, that ship of your situation. those involved. A visit before the holiday throw a ball grow, traditions and rituals often change we just needed to be ‘us’ for this one year. Nicki Nance, a licensed psychotherapist could involve going to a special concert General: • Ta ke turns driving to avoid fatigue as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and Though there was some fallout, it didn’t and assistant professor of human services together or attending a tree lighting cer- • Avoid busiest travel dates and be open to creating new ones.” If travel is last. It showed our children that their and psychology at Beacon College in Lees- emony before spending some quality time. times By plane: out of the question, “Find new ways to cel- needs — and ours — are important,” Hib- burg, Fla., advises parents to help family Some families opt to bring in the New Year • L e av e extra time for mishaps and • E x p l a i n airport security to little ebrate together, such as sharing pictures, bert shares. members understand their predicament together as an alternative. weather-related delays ones ahead of time e-mails, or videos. Saying ‘yes’ when you while making it clear that extended family Nance suggests a holiday-go-to theme. • W h e n possible, plan to travel dur- • C h e c k latest rules on banned items should say ‘no’ can leave you feeling re- Broaching the subject relationships are important. She suggests “Meet somewhere in-between at a theme ing hours your child sleeps and carry-on restrictions sentful and overwhelmed.” Deep down you know that you have to bringing up the topic by saying, “We want park, resort, or campsite. Fees to attend • Pa c k healthy snacks and water • I f possible, book a non-stop flight “Don’t give in to guilt,” cautions Chris- talk to your family about making some our visits with you to be special, but this can be given as gifts.” • Bring toys and reading materials — less chance for delays, loss of lug- tina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist, author changes, but you don’t want to upset any- year the kiddies are just too little for that “Remain open to changing needs as (add something new — activities with gage, etc. of “This is How We Grow” (Oracle Folio one. It’s always best to start with the truth to happen. We want to be part of the holi- your family grows. You may find that, a magnetic pieces are convenient while • C h e c k bag weights and size restric- Books), and host of Motherhood Radio and and an empathetic attitude. day, though, and hope you will be willing few years down the road, what worked for traveling) tions — particularly for carry-ons TV (www.motherhoodtv.com). “Guilt isn’t a Hibbert counsels, “Honesty is always to use Skype so we can still share in real your young family doesn’t work so well for • Pa c k medications (infant Tylenol, • D r e s s in layers: plane temperatures good reason to do anything, unless it is the the best policy. Too often, we go along with time.” If you explain your concerns in de- your not-so-young family. If you speak your inhaler, etc.) and first aid kit in acces- vary in the air and on the ground type of motivational guilt you need after extended family plans simply because we tail, but suggest another way of connect- needs kindly and honestly and are willing sible bag • Pa c k essentials in carry-on (dia- you’ve actually made a mistake. Most guilt don’t want to hurt any feelings, when all it ing, the discussion may go more smoothly to keep others’ perspectives in mind, you • D o n’ t forget your child’s comforter pers, bottles, extra clothing, etc.) is the depressive kind and only drags us really does is prolong the inevitable. If we than you imagined. will find that you can reinvent the holidays (Teddy bear or blanket) • It’s safer for children under 2 to down. Remember that saying ‘no’ to some- ignore or fail to honestly explain our feel- Be sure to tell your loved ones how as often as needed, and everyone will ben- • S t i c k to children’s meal schedules fly in a car seat. Check the Federal thing is saying ‘yes’ to something better. ings and desires for our own young fam- much you cherish your own childhood efit,” Hibbert says. Aviation Administration website for Remind yourself of what you’re saying ‘yes’ ily during the holidays, we end up feeling memories and that you want your kids to By car: approved car seats and harness-type to, and then let the guilt go.” resentful and frustrated.” Hibbert recalls, have special memories of the holidays, too Myrna Beth Haskell is an award-winning • C h e c k tires, oil, etc. Inspection up restraints: www.faa.gov/travelers/fly_ Hibbert explains that parents have to “I remember traveling with all six of our — both new traditions and those that are author (www.myrnahaskell.com). She is also to date? children// remember to prioritize their nuclear fam- kids the first year we had our large family shared by visiting grandparents and other co-founder and managing editor of Sanctuary ily needs, especially in times of major life and feeling so wiped out I couldn’t even relatives. (www.sanctuary-magazine.com).

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 21 Advice Protecting digital data after you die

I have all of these digital online accounts, cause they forgot the password in the first between my Apple ID and music, e-books, place — so a list of that sort doesn’t usu- my Facebook account, and Google Photos. ally help. What happens to all of that data when I am Services like Last Pass will update the disabled or die? password and save it in your designated Ask An devices. There is a blog called “The Digi- newly adopted law in New York tal Beyond,” that maintains a list of online Attorney State offers fiduciaries a tool to services that are designed to help users Alison Arden Besunder, esq. A access online digital assets of an- plan for their digital death and afterlife or other person who has done their estate to have loved ones memorialize them after planning documents. The law says that if their death. a user has used an “online tool” to admin- Here are some of the options on the There are other services like Ghost- ister digital assets, the online designation most popular sites: Memo — which allows you to prepare mes- will have control even over a Will or Power Facebook: Facebook devotes an entire sages to be sent to loved ones with videos of Attorney giving a contrary directive. page to the topic of “Here’s what happens or just documents. After a set period of So take the following example: Oscar is to your account when you die.” You can inactivity, the service sends a “proof of a 32-year-old basketball player with a wife designate a “legacy contact.” And Face- life” link to reset the timer; if there is no and two children. He does all of his bank- book really does have an app for that: Fa- response, the service sends out your mes- ing online, has an Instagram account with cebook offers an app called “If I die,” that sages. With the service Afternote, it allows 342,000 followers, a Facebook account for you can set up at any point before your you to designate one or more digital “trust- his public likeness and a more private death to help put your social accounts in ees” who report your death to the service, one within his inner circle of 1,000 close order and send out a last message if you after which they are given access. The friends and family, a Flickr and Google wish. Instagram allows you to memorialize password savers offer encrypted space Photos (formerly Picasa) account where an account. to store passwords and other account in- he stores all his photos (no backups), and, Google: Google allows you to “plan your formation to give to designated recipients of course, a Twitter feed. digital afterlife” by allowing you to select after a user dies. Each site has a system in He was playing “War of the Worlds” “trusted contacts” to receive data from place to verify a user’s death before dis- on his iPad tablet and ranked third on Gmail or Google. It also offers an “Inactive tributing any digital assets. the game board, and was at level 1,107 in Account Manager” feature that lets you US Trust put out a Wealth and Worth Candy Crush. His password-protected lap- designate up to 10 trusted contacts to be Study in 2013 that found that 45 percent top is in his home office when he suddenly notified if your account goes inactive, and of high-net worth people it polled had not dies in a boating accident. Can his wife gives them access to your data with your organized passwords and account info for legally access his computer and online ac- permission. their digital lives in a place where heirs counts? Can his attorney? Probably not. Apple: In a recent case, a widow was or executors would find them, although What’s more, depending on what steps unable to use her late husband’s iPad 87 percent said they had a will and knew Oscar took before he died when he set up because she did not know his Apple ID where their important documents were. his personal settings, a lot of that material password, and Apple refused to reset it While it is not exactly the way anyone might not be recoverable. even with the death certificate. Of all pass- wants to spend their Saturday, it is worth But many services now offer the ability words, the Apple ID is probably the most devotion of a few hours to organize your to store passwords in a “vault” and desig- critical: It contains a lifetime’s collection of digital life and explore the options many of nate a person to have access if something music, books, and other material. these services offer for doing so. happens to the user. Last Pass, Legacy Hotmail lets relatives order a CD of all Alison Arden Besunder is the founding at- Locker, and Entrustenet are a few exam- the messages in a deceased user’s account torney of the law firm of Arden Besunder P.C., ples. Giving someone your passwords or if they provide a death certificate and where she assists parents with their estate- leaving a list is not a viable solution. First proof of power of attorney. planning needs. Her firm assists clients in of all, most people are uncomfortable leav- Flickr will keep an account up and mostly Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Nassau, and ing a printed list or a computer list of all open to the public, but if a user had marked Suffolk Counties. You can find Alison Besunder their passwords. Also, everyone changes any photos as private, the site won’t let fam- on Twitter @estatetrustplan and on her website their passwords frequently — usually be- ily or friends into the account. at www.besunderlaw.com. Disclaimer: This column is provided by Arden Besunder P.C. and New York Parenting Media as a public service to inform readers of legal issues. It is not intended to advise. Since legal issues vary with an individual’s situation and needs, one should consult with an attorney. It is impossible to cover all aspects of the law in an article. Please be advised that the laws are constantly changing. The content in this article reflects the current law. Nothing contained in this article is intended as advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship between the reader and the firm. Individual consultation with an attorney is required to determine the specific facts and circumstances of any particular situation. A written retainer agreement between you and the firm is required before any attorney-client relationship may be created. Circular 230 Disclosure Notice: To ensure compliance with Treasury Department rules governing tax practice, we inform you that any advice contained herein (including in any attachment) (1) was not written and is not intended to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of avoiding any federal tax penalty that may be imposed on the taxpayer, and (2) may not be used in connection with promoting, marketing or recommending to another person any transaction or matter addressed herein.

22 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 French For Little Ones autiSm ServiceS

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November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 23 Wolk this way Mom has advice on raising girls in the age of social media

By Tammy Scileppi parents should look at devices and social “Physical and psychological changes in media through a less gloomy and more her adolescent brain mixed with the im- oncerned about your daugh- positive lens, so they can learn to embrace pact of the media, most importantly social ter’s need for ‘likes’ and today’s digital reality and teach their chil- media, has girls feeling lackluster about “C her addiction to her smart dren how to monitor themselves and stay themselves and uncomfortable communi- phone?…I’ve got the antidote,” says au- safe online. cating in real life,” she explains. thor, educator, and girls’ leadership guru “It’s important to speak with your chil- Wolk works hard to get the word out Laurie Wolk, who is a Westchester mom dren about what is appropriate and safe to about raising balanced kids in our madcap raising young teens — two daughters and post … and how to become a good digital — and sometimes dangerous — digital a son. citizen,” says Wolk. age. She advises parents on how to speak As a proactive parent, she also feels Tammy Scileppi: So, how did your with children about the do’s and don’ts of that other parents shouldn’t get distracted timely book come about? social media, and her new book — “Girls by their own devices and busy lifestyle, laurie Wolk: From the day I was told, Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise but knows it’s easier said than done. “It’s a boy and a girl,” — yes, twins! — I Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Building a healthy family connection told myself I was going to build a better Madness” — is a back-to-basics approach takes work. And Wolk is hands-on when it me because of them. I felt that with uncon- to parenting in the digital age. comes to her brood. Her book helps par- ditional love, strong values, and my hard- “Parents want help. Raising kids in the ents with powerful communication and won life experiences, my kids would grow iGeneration is totally new. We have no leadership skill lessons, providing real- up to be a confident, capable, and kind role models, because nobody has been life examples. Hopefully, your efforts will young man and woman. here before,” says Wolk. “And even though yield confident, capable young women Up until my kids were eight, everything many of us already know which valuable (and men) who can communicate and in- was going pretty much according to plan. life skills we want our kids to learn, and teract with different people effectively … Sure, the preschool and early elementary we’re aware of those old-school parenting in the real world (despite opposing views, school years had their challenges, but techniques, we’re often too busy with our for example). nothing notable to speak of. day-to-day lives to implement them!” With an increase in teen anxiety, pro- During those early years, I was a life Did you know that an average 12- to tecting them from the harsh realities of life coach and girls’ leadership educator, 15-year-old sends over 40 texts a day? And may not be the best way to go. In a scary, working with parents and kids. I attended that 78 percent of teens check their mobile unpredictable world, Wolk believes “we conferences, took advanced certification device hourly? must expose our kids and ourselves to the classes, and pored over parenting books Wolk’s goal is to help parents like you hard stuff. Not easy, I know,” she admits. into the wee hours of the night. I tested “reclaim the power in their homes away As parents, we shouldn’t underestimate out everything I was learning in real time from social media, the uninvited guest, the power of social media … and the on my children and my clients. and go back to the basics of creating a media for that matter. So, when you’re And then the world of iPhones, Ins- stable and loving home, accepting and ready for action and want to take your tagram, Netflix, and Snapchat came a- encouraging their daughters and gently power back, you’ll find helpful templates, knockin’. Instead of feeling like I had this nudging them to take risks and experience exercises, and worksheets that you can whole “parenting” thing down, I had a real accomplishments.” use as valuable tools to deal with your pervasive feeling of fear, doubt, and pow- And she hopes that parents can “step device-addicted teen, who may be some- erlessness. Quite often, I felt paralyzed (back) into their roles as mentor and guide what brainwashed by what she has been and incapable of taking any kind of action and stand side by side with their daugh- exposed to via screens. at all. These screens that had innocently ters, helping them unwind and decode In her roles as educator and motiva- come into our home had slowly taken over the different messages that social media tional speaker, Wolk helps parents and our lives. is sending them.” As this begins to take young girls learn how to communicate and I began talking about social media, and shape in the home, Wolk predicts that connect with themselves, each other, and its influence on family life with my clients social media “will start to blend into the the outside world. She works directly with and their children in my workshops. I background, allowing the things that mat- companies, schools, organizations, and began researching the effects of social ter most to stand front and center – your individuals on building confidence and media and digital devices on our brains daughter!” leadership skills. and development. I noticed that everyone Wouldn’t it be nice if families went back She points out that girls are learning focused on the doom and gloom aspect of to a simpler time — when “like” meant that “valuable life lessons from mentors like the social media, but nobody offered any tools you were really liked — and not by 155 Kardashians and Instagram ‘stars,’ whose or advice on what to do. strangers? And feelings were expressed heavily edited photos and videos leave So, I set about finding the antidote, and I with an actual hug or kiss … and not by them feeling badly about themselves and did, [and it] informs my book. It’s all about texting cute emojis? That said, perhaps second-guessing their own lives. clear rules, family connections, and teach-

24 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 would’ve liked, you’ll still find you feel relief in having expressed them. When feelings are kept inside and not voiced, that’s when we see unhealthy and problematic behaviors develop. Those “hurt” feelings often get buried, and later in life (whether Wolk this way in work or in relationships), we tend to see that people fail to speak up yet again, having carried with them this default way Mom has advice on raising girls in the age of social media of being. This can come at tremendous personal cost to their careers, marriages, By Tammy Scileppi parents should look at devices and social “Physical and psychological changes in and friendships. media through a less gloomy and more her adolescent brain mixed with the im- That feeling of confidence that we all so oncerned about your daugh- positive lens, so they can learn to embrace pact of the media, most importantly social desperately want for our kids is only cre- ter’s need for ‘likes’ and today’s digital reality and teach their chil- media, has girls feeling lackluster about ated from the inside, and it’s hard-earned. “C her addiction to her smart dren how to monitor themselves and stay themselves and uncomfortable communi- No parental life lesson, academic achieve- phone?…I’ve got the antidote,” says au- safe online. cating in real life,” she explains. ment, social media stardom, empower- thor, educator, and girls’ leadership guru “It’s important to speak with your chil- Wolk works hard to get the word out ment rally, or brilliant ad campaign can Laurie Wolk, who is a Westchester mom dren about what is appropriate and safe to about raising balanced kids in our madcap give it to her. That confidence starts with raising young teens — two daughters and post … and how to become a good digital — and sometimes dangerous — digital girls learning to speak up and ask for what a son. citizen,” says Wolk. age. they want and need. It takes courage, but She advises parents on how to speak As a proactive parent, she also feels Tammy Scileppi: So, how did your it’s a skill they (and even we adults) can with children about the do’s and don’ts of that other parents shouldn’t get distracted timely book come about? learn with experience. social media, and her new book — “Girls by their own devices and busy lifestyle, laurie Wolk: From the day I was told, TS: Parents want to help their anxious Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise but knows it’s easier said than done. “It’s a boy and a girl,” — yes, twins! — I teens, but many feel that it means pro- Confident Girls in the Face of Social Media Building a healthy family connection told myself I was going to build a better tecting them from life’s challenges. That Madness” — is a back-to-basics approach takes work. And Wolk is hands-on when it me because of them. I felt that with uncon- said, how can these kids deal with bumps to parenting in the digital age. comes to her brood. Her book helps par- ditional love, strong values, and my hard- in the road head on? Share your recipe “Parents want help. Raising kids in the ents with powerful communication and won life experiences, my kids would grow for raising balanced kids in a digitally- iGeneration is totally new. We have no leadership skill lessons, providing real- up to be a confident, capable, and kind obsessed world. role models, because nobody has been life examples. Hopefully, your efforts will young man and woman. LW: One-half cup — Firm boundaries here before,” says Wolk. “And even though yield confident, capable young women Up until my kids were eight, everything (set around the behavior you expect from many of us already know which valuable (and men) who can communicate and in- was going pretty much according to plan. them as well as their use of digital de- life skills we want our kids to learn, and teract with different people effectively … Sure, the preschool and early elementary vices) we’re aware of those old-school parenting in the real world (despite opposing views, school years had their challenges, but One-quarter cup — Understanding that techniques, we’re often too busy with our for example). nothing notable to speak of. social media and technology are here to day-to-day lives to implement them!” With an increase in teen anxiety, pro- During those early years, I was a life stay and that it’s a way of life for kids Did you know that an average 12- to tecting them from the harsh realities of life coach and girls’ leadership educator, today Laurie Wolk advises parents on how to speak with children about the dos and don’ts of social 15-year-old sends over 40 texts a day? And may not be the best way to go. In a scary, working with parents and kids. I attended 12 heaping spoonfuls — Unconditional that 78 percent of teens check their mobile unpredictable world, Wolk believes “we conferences, took advanced certification media. Her new book — “Girls Just Want to Have Likes: How to Raise Confident Girls in the Face love device hourly? must expose our kids and ourselves to the classes, and pored over parenting books of Social Media Madness”— is a back-to-basics approach to parenting in the digital age. Continuous role modeling of the be- Wolk’s goal is to help parents like you hard stuff. Not easy, I know,” she admits. into the wee hours of the night. I tested havior you want to see in your kids, like “reclaim the power in their homes away As parents, we shouldn’t underestimate out everything I was learning in real time ing life skills to our kids. online “likes” and comments aren’t going kindness, respect, clear communication, from social media, the uninvited guest, the power of social media … and the on my children and my clients. TS: So, how do parents raise confident to give them the same happiness that an taking risks, making mistakes, and bounc- and go back to the basics of creating a media for that matter. So, when you’re And then the world of iPhones, Ins- girls amidst the social media madness? in-person compliment or a true “real life” ing back stable and loving home, accepting and ready for action and want to take your tagram, Netflix, and Snapchat came a- LW: We parents and society give our connection would. Sprinkle throughout — Opportunities encouraging their daughters and gently power back, you’ll find helpful templates, knockin’. Instead of feeling like I had this girls (and boys) mixed messages, and we Having report cards that are covered to practice the important life skills that nudging them to take risks and experience exercises, and worksheets that you can whole “parenting” thing down, I had a need to pay closer attention to our actions with A’s alone is not doing our girls justice. they aren’t necessarily learning due to a real accomplishments.” use as valuable tools to deal with your pervasive feeling of fear, doubt, and pow- and our words. We tell them to be leaders, In fact, along with those A’s, we want to be busy after-school lifestyle and digital dis- And she hopes that parents can “step device-addicted teen, who may be some- erlessness. Quite often, I felt paralyzed but we call them out for being “bossy.” We focusing on a whole lot of C’s, too: Com- tractions (back) into their roles as mentor and guide what brainwashed by what she has been and incapable of taking any kind of action tell them that they are capable and strong, munication, collaboration, contribution, These types of skills — like being brave, and stand side by side with their daugh- exposed to via screens. at all. These screens that had innocently but then we jump in and solve their prob- character, and creativity. caring, resilient, organized, honest, and ters, helping them unwind and decode In her roles as educator and motiva- come into our home had slowly taken over lems for them. We encourage them to be TS: How do we teach our children to creative — are what they need to find last- the different messages that social media tional speaker, Wolk helps parents and our lives. assertive, but then we inundate them with be brave and use their voices? ing happiness. is sending them.” As this begins to take young girls learn how to communicate and I began talking about social media, and our pleas to be nice and respectful. We LW: Being able to share freely how you Knead repeatedly — This last step shape in the home, Wolk predicts that connect with themselves, each other, and its influence on family life with my clients tell them to take risks and make mistakes, feel in exchange for the opportunity to can be accomplished through a method I social media “will start to blend into the the outside world. She works directly with and their children in my workshops. I but then we mitigate their failures, so they make change in your world (or a situation) call “Life Skill Lessons From Your Living background, allowing the things that mat- companies, schools, organizations, and began researching the effects of social don’t feel the hurt. is freedom. Freedom is the ability to share Room” in which you regularly allow your ter most to stand front and center – your individuals on building confidence and media and digital devices on our brains We need to teach our kids not to rely your truth, knowing that you will be okay kids to cultivate these skills by planning daughter!” leadership skills. and development. I noticed that everyone on the external world for validation. Sure, whatever the outcome is. Intimacy comes things, volunteering, negotiating, taking Wouldn’t it be nice if families went back She points out that girls are learning focused on the doom and gloom aspect of good grades in school or being on an elite when you share how you feel — that’s how risks, and more! to a simpler time — when “like” meant that “valuable life lessons from mentors like the social media, but nobody offered any tools sports team offer confidence boosts dur- relationships get stronger. And relation- Part 2 will appear in our December you were really liked — and not by 155 Kardashians and Instagram ‘stars,’ whose or advice on what to do. ing those early years, but research shows ships are the cornerstone of happiness. issue. strangers? And feelings were expressed heavily edited photos and videos leave So, I set about finding the antidote, and I that these are not enough to sustain a Sharing how you feel also brings the Tammy Scileppi is a Queens-based free- with an actual hug or kiss … and not by them feeling badly about themselves and did, [and it] informs my book. It’s all about feeling of true confidence in one’s whole truth to the surface. Even if your true lance writer, parent, and regular contributor to texting cute emojis? That said, perhaps second-guessing their own lives. clear rules, family connections, and teach- self. It’s the same for social media. Those feelings are not as well-received as you New York Parenting.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 25 HealtHy eating

Good sense eatinG Christine M. PaluMbo, rD

containing foods any time after 6 months. The panel’s recommendation is to in- Battle nut allergies troduce peanuts by mixing 2 teaspoons peanut butter or powdered peanut butter into a food the child is already eating. You can add it to applesauce or infant cereal — with peanuts or even thin it out with formula or breast milk. In all cases, infants should start t’s not often that a health organiza- dren, their parents, and caregivers must other solid foods before they are intro- tion makes a complete 180-degree turn be constantly vigilant against even a trace duced to peanut-containing foods. I with a long-standing recommendation. of peanut exposure. It is thought as many When introducing peanuts, always keep But the National Institute of Allergy and In- as 20 percent of children will outgrow their safety top of mind. Whole peanuts are fectious Diseases did just that earlier this peanut allergy. a choking hazard even if the child has year with their advice about preventing teeth. peanut allergies. three risk categories Rather than avoiding peanuts, the new In order to reduce the risk of peanut Prevention tips: guidelines recommend exposing infants allergy in high risk infants, introduce pea- In order to prevent peanut allergies, are to peanuts early — as young as four to nuts as early as 4 months of age. But don’t there guidelines for peanut consumption six months of age — to prevent or reduce wait too long. Your baby could develop for an expectant mother? Costello says the chance of developing a peanut allergy peanut allergies at 6 months. Sure, it can there are no recommendations to restrict later. be scary for a mom to introduce these peanut intake while pregnant as there is “This is a significant change in practice, foods when peanut allergies run in the no strong evidence to support avoiding as parents were previously told to avoid family. peanuts will prevent an allergy. Ditto for peanuts until age 3,” says Rachael Costello The specific timing depends upon which breastfeeding. at Rachael Costello Nutrition. of the three risk categories your infant falls “Waiting to start solids until 4 to 6 The landmark study that influenced the under. months and exclusive breastfeeding up reversal, “Learning Early About Peanut Al- Group 1: This group is the smallest until that time have shown to reduce food lergy” clinical trial, showed that introduc- percentage but has the greatest potential allergy development in children,” adds tion of peanut products into the diets of for peanut allergy. The infant suffers from Costello. infants at high risk of developing peanut severe eczema, egg allergy, or both. Start With early introduction there are no allergy is safe. Not only that, but the study introducing peanut at four to six months guarantees we can prevent peanut aller- showed that early peanut introduction of age. Parents should discuss how to gies in every child. But we will see a lot of reduced later development of peanuts al- introduce peanut with their pediatrician; reduction in the next five to 10 years. Be lergy by a whopping 81 percent. the infant may need to have a supervised sure to always discuss your child’s diet The trial was the first and only large, feeding in the medical office. with your health provider. randomized prevention trial for peanut Group 2: This group has mild to moder- Christine Palumbo is a Naperville, Ill.-regis- allergies. Its findings are considered de- ate eczema but no egg allergy. Introduce tered dietitian nutritionist who is a new Fellow finitive. peanut-containing foods around the age of the American Academy of Nutrition and Peanut allergies affect fewer children 6 months. Dietetics. Follow her on Twitter @PalumboRD, than most people suspect: only two per- Group 3: Everybody else; no eczema or Facebook at Christine Palumbo Nutrition, or cent of kids in the U.S. Peanut-allergic chil- any known food allergy. Introduce peanut- [email protected].

26 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 A Holiday Musical For The Whole Family

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November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 27 HealtH

Family HealtH Dr. PramoD Narula, mD Chairman of Pediatrics NewYork-Presbyterian Brooklyn methodist Hospital

to the bone. The most common affected areas are the knees, heels, and bottom of the feet. As a result, children with enthesitis often report heel, foot or knee pain, Learning about with or without swelling. Other, less common, non-juvenile idiopathic arthritis types of juvenile arthritis include juvenile lupus and juvenile psori- juvenile arthritis atic arthritis. Identification of the particular type of My 8-year-old niece has just been diag- oligoarthritis, which involves inflamma- arthritis to be treated determines whether nosed with juvenile arthritis, which is a con- tion of four or fewer joints. The inflam- a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug, dition that I don’t know much about. Is the mation causes pain in about 75 percent which relieves pain, or a disease-modify- disease related to genetics? If so, what signs of patients, but mostly inhibits range of ing anti-rheumatic drug, which prevents should I look for in my own children? I would motion. Oligoarthritis is more common in joint damage, or a different approach, is also like to know more about what my niece Caucasian children and girls, and is asso- most appropriate. is experiencing and how the disease will be ciated with causing uveitis, or eye inflam- Exercise often loosens stiff joints, treated. mation. It typically develops at around age strengthens muscles, and improves range 6 with an inflamed leg joint, usually in the of motion. In general, moderate exercise uvenile arthritis is an umbrella term knee or the ankle. such as swimming, family walks, and bike that describes many autoimmune and Polyarthritis affects about 25 percent of rides can help keep the symptoms of ju- J inflammatory conditions that can de- the children diagnosed with juvenile idio- venile arthritis in check. Physical therapy velop in children ages 16 and younger. pathic arthritis and involves inflammation can restore motion and increase flexibil- Juvenile arthritis affects 300,000 children of five or more joints within the first six ity in joints, while occupational therapy in the United States but no exact cause is months. Like oligoarthritis, polyarthritis can keep children active in school and known. Researchers believe juvenile ar- is more common in girls, but it can occur extra-curricular activities. Diet and nutri- thritis may be related to genetics, certain at any age and can affect small and large tion is especially important, as children infections, and environmental triggers. joints, including the neck and jaw, making with arthritis need to maintain a healthy Juvenile idiopathic arthritis is one of it difficult for a child to chew. weight — every extra pound places ad- the most common forms of juvenile arthri- Systemic arthritis affects the entire ditional pressure on knees, hips, and tis. Symptoms of juvenile idiopathic ar- body, beyond the joints, and impacts ankles. thritis include the swelling of one or more about 10 percent of children with juvenile While there is currently no cure for ju- joints for six weeks or longer, muscle and idiopathic arthritis. Symptoms, such as venile arthritis, there are many available soft tissue tightening, bone erosion, joint stubborn fever, mild rash, and inflamma- treatment options and lifestyle choices misalignment, and changes in a child’s tion of the spleen, usually occur in elemen- that can provide relief from pain and in- growth. tary school age children. flammation, and keep a child where he or There are several types of juvenile id- Finally, enthesitis-related arthritis typi- she most needs to be: in school. iopathic arthritis; the most common is cally affects boys more often than girls Dr. Pramod Narula is chairman of the De- called oligoarthritis. Forty percent of chil- and involves the inflammation of the en- partment of Pediatrics, NewYork-Presbyterian dren with juvenile idiopathic arthritis have thesis, sites where the tendon attaches Brooklyn Methodist Hospital.

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November 2017 • BROOKLYN FAMILY 29 Advice Should women wait to collect Social Security? Family Financial n my previous column, I discussed how Social Security benefits can be Planning I an important part of a person’s retire- Anthony n. CorrAo ment income. Determining what age to claim your Social Security benefits should be determined by age, health, and amount of other savings earmarked to retirement income, among other factors. This is especially important for women planning their retirement. women surveyed — who worked with an Some of the reasons are demographic. advisor — say their Social Security pay- Women tend to live longer than men, and ment was as expected or more than they according to AARP, are more likely than expected. men to be widowed and single when they Make an informed decision on when to are older. According to the Department of retire. According to the same Nationwide Health and Human Services, in 2012 only Retirement Institute study, 80 percent of 45 percent of women over 65 years old retired women currently collecting Social were married, compared with 75 percent Security benefits took those benefits early, of men. locking in a lifetime of lower income. That Another factor to consider is that may not be the best financial decision for women tend to take time out of the work- them longer term. Working a few extra force to care for children or aging parents, years until FRA could translate into thou- and historically have earned less than You can collect Social Security even sands of extra dollars over the course of a men, on average. This combination could if you are still working or earning self- person’s retirement. Delaying Social Secu- lead to lower overall career earnings and employed income — but of course, there rity benefits until age 70 would mean even savings when compared to men of similar are a few rules to remember. If you collect more income during the remainder of your age. before your full retirement age, your ben- life. Consider working longer if you’re able, Therefore, it’s important for women efits will be decreased by $1 for every $2 and consult a professional about your best to ensure they receive the most they’re you earn over $16,920 (the 2017 limit). The Social Security claiming strategies. able from Social Security. Here are some year after you reach full retirement, there A careful review of Social Security regu- things to keep in mind when making these is no penalty for working and claiming lations, your financial situation, and any decisions. Social Security at the same time, and your health considerations you may have are It can pay to delay. Although people can benefits will not be adjusted for earned crucial to developing a strategy to maxi- start receiving reduced benefits at age income. Social Security earnings rules mize income during retirement. Taking the 62, it might be wise to wait until your full can be very complicated, and again, con- time to review your options and making retirement age — ages 65 to 67 depending sulting a financial advisor before making an informed decision can help you maxi- on your birth date — if you’re able to. these decisions is recommended. mize your monthly retirement income and If you take Social Security benefits be- Social Security may not cover all of Social Security payments. It can make a fore your full retirement age (FRA), the your needs in retirement. Historically, dramatic difference in the long run. amount of your monthly benefit payment Social Security benefits compose half of Anthony N. Corrao is an independent advi- will be reduced. If you delay collecting the total income of unmarried women sor with Corrao Wealth Management. For more benefits beyond your FRA, the amount of — including widows — age 65 and older. than 25 years, he has helped families with their your monthly benefit will increase until And according to the same study by the financial goals by developing financial, educa- you reach age 70. Factors such as health Nationwide Retirement Institute work- tional, and retirement planning strategies. He and other retirement savings should be ing with a financial advisor helped most can be found at www.corraowm.com. considered when deciding what age to women better prepare for their retire- Securities offered through First Allied Securities Inc., a regis- claim benefits, so it’s always best to con- ment. Only 13 percent of women say they tered broker dealer. Member FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services sult a financial advisor before making received advice on Social Security from a offered through First Allied Advisory Services, a registered these permanent decisions. financial advisor. However, 86 percent of investment adviser.

30 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 NEW YORK CITY

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November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 31 Perfect puppy Avoid heartbreak and find a dog to fit your family’s lifestyle

By KimBerly BlaKer American pit bull terrier, bulldog, bullmas- mostly children, are bitten annually se- tiff, chow chow, Doberman pinscher, Ger- verely enough to require medical atten- very year, thousands of dogs are man shepherd, Rottweiler, schnauzer, Shih tion. Infants and small children shouldn’t turned over to animal shelters be- Tzu, Siberian husky, and Weimaraner. be left alone with a dog. It may be difficult E cause they were given as a gift Grooming: While it may sound pain- to picture your lovable Fido as capable of without first consulting the gift recipient, less, the upkeep of certain breeds can hurting your child; however, even the gen- or families discover they brought home a be overwhelming. In addition to keeping tlest dogs have been known to bite. biter, barker, digger, or jumper. When pets claws trimmed and an occasional bath, Little ones sometimes get too close to are given away, the pets, their owners, and some dogs require lengthy daily brush- a dog while he’s eating or chewing a bone, children all suffer. So before selecting a ing to remove tangles or trapped fur in or startle a dog while she’s sleeping. Some- dog, do your homework. With a little pre- double coats. High maintenance breeds in- times, small children hang on dogs, pull planning, you can find the dog that most clude the American Eskimo, cocker span- their tails, or threaten a dog’s safety. closely fits your family’s lifestyle: iel, collie, Great Pyrenees, Lhasa apso, Old In addition, dogs view their family as English sheepdog, poodle, schnauzer, and part of its pack. A properly trained dog Variety of dogs, terriers. should view adults and older children as variety of nuisances alpha (top dog). However, a dog isn’t likely Dogs can create many nuisances, some Traits to look for to view a small child in this light and may of which are more common in particular in a family dog wield his authority when no one’s around. breeds: Finding a dog that will be easy for your Apartment living is another consider- Barking: A barking dog helps protect child to handle and assist in training will ation. The size dog you choose is important against intruders. But excessive bark- reduce many unforeseen problems. Easy to both your dog’s well-being and to main- ing can become a problem. Some breeds trainers include American water spaniel, taining your sanity. High energy and me- known for their barking include the Alas- Australian shepherd, Bichon Frise, cocker dium to large breeds generally need large kan malamute, American water spaniel, spaniel, Irish setter, Italian greyhound, areas to romp. Without it, your apartment bassett hound, Finnish spitz, fox and other Maltese, and Shetland sheepdog. could become a round-the-clock racetrack. terriers, Great Pyrenees, and miniature Calm, gentle breeds are important for Planning regular walks for these dogs may schnauzer. families with small children. Keep in mind not be sufficient. You’ll tire long before your Hyperactivity: A playful, energetic that size doesn’t dictate these traits. Gen- dog, and there will be occasions when you puppy can make a great playmate for tle breeds you might consider are bassett just won’t be able to accommodate your your child. But as your puppy grows, hound, beagle, bearded collie, Chinese puppy’s need to exercise. that hyperactivity could become over- crested, Great Dane, Great Pyrenees, New- The costs of pet ownership should also whelming. High-strung dogs often jump foundland, and mastiff. be weighed out. First, there are the obvi- on people and tear through the house. Playful and energetic puppies work ous costs such as purchasing pet food and Certain breeds tend to maintain that high well for older children who won’t feel annual vaccinations. Other expenses in- energy level well into their adult-size bod- threatened by the dog’s full-grown size. clude licensing, monthly heartworm pills, ies. Such breeds include Airedale terriers, These breeds include American Eskimo, chew toys, damaged belongings, fencing, boxer, Brittany, cocker spaniel, Dalmatian, bloodhound, Brittany, Dalmatian, golden training, veterinary expenses, grooming, golden retriever, Irish setter, Jack Russell retriever, Irish wolfhound, Labrador re- kenneling, and more. terrier, Labrador retriever, pointer, and triever, pointer, poodle, Saint Bernard, and If your family has members with bad al- schnauzer. schnauzer. lergies or asthma, check with your doctor Digging: Dogs dig for many reasons — There are many other traits to consider before bringing any furred, feathered, or to bury a bone, to escape from a fenced in choosing a new dog. Before bringing finned pet into your home. yard, to keep cool, or out of boredom. home your puppy, read a book or articles Finally, keep in mind that no matter how A torn-up yard can be the last straw for about the breed that interests you to de- sincere your child’s intent to care for his many dog owners. Diggers include fox and termine if he’ll fit your family’s lifestyle. new pet, it’s a big responsibility, and ulti- Norwich terriers, and Petit Basset Griffon For personalized assistance in choosing mately, parents take the brunt of the work. Vendeen. a breed, go to http://www.selectsmart. The holiday season may not be the best aggression: Dogs can be aggressive for com/DOG/ or one of the many other breed time of year to bring home a new puppy, a variety of reasons. Poor breeding, physi- selection sites. You’ll be guided through a according to Marta Diffen of the Michigan cal abuse, and even disease can cause ag- series of questions and receive a free per- Humane Society. Families are generally too gression in a dog. And certain dominant sonalized list of matches. busy during the holidays to give a new pet breeds can tend toward aggressiveness if the attention it needs. Choose a season not handled properly. These dogs should Special considerations when you’ll be able to spend plenty of time be chosen with caution and the understand- The Centers for Disease Control and with your new dog as she adjusts to her ing they require strong leadership: Akita, Prevention estimate that 800,000 people, new home.

32 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Where to find your dog ing of pups. This can lead to dogs with ual and stick with it. The Humane Society, an animal shelter, poor temperaments, genetic disorders, or If your dog shows signs of aggression, or an accidental litter of pups is a great disease. Ask plenty of questions, request talk with a professional trainer or your place to find your dog at an affordable references, and ask to see the puppies in veterinary. Depending on the cause, there price. Giving a home to a dog that might their normal environment. may be a simple solution. But if your child’s otherwise be put to sleep or caged in- According to the American Kennel Club, safety becomes an issue, your only option definitely and not contributing to the over some things to watch for when selecting may be a new home for your pet. population of dogs are good reasons to go your puppy include: a runny nose, watery Whether your dog ends up with a new this route. eyes, fever, or disease in the litter. If any owner or in a shelter, make sure you ex- Furthermore, you’ll find mixed breeds, of these conditions are present, look else- plain the reason for giving your dog away which are less likely to inherit the diseases where. so it ends up in the proper environment. and disabilities often common in pure Avoid a puppy that trembles and is shy For other problem behaviors, there are breeds. Keep in mind, however, sometimes or one that shows a bad temper. Further- several good books to help tame your these dogs are strays or weren’t prop- more, understand that a kennel designated dog. “When Good Dogs Do Bad Things” erly cared for by their original owner. If a “AKC Reg.” doesn’t mean it has the Ameri- by Mordecai Siegal and Matthew Margolis dog didn’t receive proper vaccinations, it can Kennel Club’s stamp of approval. It sim- offers many helpful techniques. Contrary could be at risk for disease. A dog that was ply means the dogs have been registered. to popular belief, never hit, kick, or swat a abused by its previous owner could also Finally, keep in mind that puppies dog with a newspaper. This can lead to ag- pose risks. Ask the animal shelter what is shouldn’t be removed from their litter be- gressiveness or increase already aggres- known about the dog’s history. fore 6 weeks of age, and preferably 8. sive behavior. Another way to find your new puppy is Most importantly, try to understand through a breeder. Taking home a puppy Training tips and accept your pet’s imperfections and whose history is known and hasn’t been No matter how careful you are in se- adjust your home accordingly to reduce exposed to a poor environment is a plus. lecting your pet, chances are, your puppy aggravations. In time, your dog will accept However, caution should be used even will develop a problem or nuisance behav- the household routine and become a part when buying from a breeder. While most ior. Prevention is the first step. Around 6 of it. are in the business for their love of the months, your puppy will be old enough Kimberly Blaker is a realtor and an author breed, there are exceptions. for an obedience course. Teaching your and freelance writer. Her articles have ap- Some breeders are only interested in puppy the basics will make it easier to peared in more than 200 newspapers, parent- profits and have little knowledge or con- manage problem behaviors. If you can’t ing and women’s magazines, and other publi- cern for good breeding and proper car- take a class, purchase a dog-training man- cations throughout the U.S.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 33 Learning from disaster Bad news can be a teachable moment: Show kids how to help

By Shnieka L. JohnSon ever, they can more easily cope when they Rico to assist with the recovery, and do- know that there are people working to help nations to these organizations can be im- he 2017 hurricane season caused communities recover — familiar entities pactful. unprecedented damage. Communi- like the police, fire department, paramed- Funds have also been established on T ties in Texas, Florida, Puerto Rico, ics and military personnel. If your children the local and state levels in New York. Gov. the United States Virgin Islands, and other have watched media coverage of Hurri- Cuomo created the “Empire State Relief islands throughout the Caribbean suffered cane Maria (and other natural disasters), and Recovery Effort for Puerto Rico” with great devastation. When Hurricane Maria be sure to answer their questions and help the goal of providing necessary goods made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico, them process the information they are and services, as well as money, to relief it measured as a Category 4 hurricane — receiving. Also, try to engage your child organizations working with the island’s 3.5 the strongest to ever hit there — and it in a discussion about the events by asking million residents. destroyed much of the island, killing over a questions. What questions or concerns do Mayor DeBlasio has the Mayor’s Fund, dozen people and knocking out the power they have? which supports aid and relief efforts to grid, flooding streets, and contaminating Your children may be fearful, especially areas impacted by Hurricanes Harvey, drinking water. if they have close family or friends affected Irma, and Maria. The city’s Office of It left more than one million people by storms. Let them know that it is okay to Emergency Management has set up a without power and limited phone access. be upset, but they have adults to support distribution center and is collecting and Many families went days without being them and willing to give them opportuni- sending supplies to Puerto Rico. able to contact extended family members ties to help. Sizeable monetary donations from outside the island. Many New Yorkers with There are many ways to aid families and businesses and large companies like the close ties to Puerto Rico scrambled to help children in Puerto Rico affected by Hur- Long Island City-based airline JetBlue family and friends on the island. Weeks ricane Maria. If you are looking to make a not only provide shipments of drink- after Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, monetary donation, there are humanitar- ing water, meals, and generators to the many problems still existed, including ian organizations that provide emergency island, but also fund transportation for closed hospitals, little fuel for generators, kits that include water filtration systems, dozens of emergency workers, police, and feet of standing water. Local govern- such as UNICEF, Worldvision, and Save and fire department personnel to the is- ment officials have called it a “humanitar- the Children. There are also large organi- land as well. The donated supplies they ian disaster.” zations like the Salvation Army, the Red bring will be given to emergency relief A natural disaster like Hurricane Maria Cross and the Hispanic Federation that and local organizations, then distributed can be hard to explain to children. How- have volunteers on the ground in Puerto to families and individuals directly af-

34 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 fected by Hurricane Maria. Bronx Ave. (East Flatbush) You and your family can donate items EMS Station 26: 1264 Boston Road (Mor- like baby food, diapers, feminine hygiene risania) Staten Island products, first-aid kits, or batteries. It is EMS Station 55: 3134 Park Ave. (Mel- Engine 153–Ladder 77: 74 Broad St. (Sta- important that we support Puerto Rico’s rose) pleton) recovery from Hurricane Maria. The sup- Engine 64–Ladder 47: 1214 Castle Hill Engine 157–Ladder 80: 1573 Castleton plies will help families and children keep Ave. (Castle Hill) Ave. (Port Richmond) clean, safe, and healthy during this dif- Engine 83–Ladder 29: 618 E. 138th St. Ladder 79: 1189 Castleton Ave. (Port ficult time. It could still take more weeks (Mott Haven/South Bronx) Richmond) before power is restored and months of Engine 73–Ladder 42: 655 Prospect Ave. Engine 155–Ladder 78: 14 Brighton Ave. rebuilding. (Melrose) (Tompkinsville) Remember that all donated items must Please note: Before you go, verify that be non-perishable, brand new, and can- Queens the listed locations are still accepting do- not contain any liquids. If items are open Engine 316: 27-12 Kearney St. (East nations, by calling 311. Donations will be or unsealed, the donation will not be Elmhurst) accepted during the hours of 7 am through accepted. There are drop-off locations Engine 289–Ladder 138: 97-28 43rd Ave. 9 pm. FDNY members at these locations accepting donations across the five bor- (Corona) may not be present during drop-off hours oughs. You can donate at the nearest Engine 307–Ladder 154: 81-17 Northern if they are responding to an emergency. participating firehouse or EMS station. Boulevard (Jackson Heights) See list below: Engine 294–Ladder 143: 101-02 Jamaica Links: Ave. (Woodhaven) www1.nyc.gov/office-of-the-mayor Manhattan www. hispanicfederation.org/ Engine 91: 242 E. 111th St. (East Har- Brooklyn www.redcross.org lem) Engine 271–Ladder 124: 392 Himrod St. www.savethechildren.org/ Engine 95–Ladder 36: 29 Vermilyea Ave. (Bushwick) www.unicefusa.org (Inwood) Engine 277–Ladder 112: 582 Knicker- www.worldvision.org Engine 28–Ladder 11: 222 E. 2nd St. bocker Ave. (Bushwick) (Lower East Side) Engine 201–Ladder 114: 5113 4th Ave. Shnieka Johnson is an education consul- Engine 54–Ladder 4: 782 8th Ave. (Times (Sunset Park) tant and freelance writer based in Manhattan, Square) Engine 228: 436 39th St. (Sunset Park) where she resides with her husband and son. Engine 53–Ladder 43: 1863 3rd Ave. Engine 218: 650 Hart St. (Bushwick) Contact her via her website: www.shniekajohn- Learning from disaster (East Harlem) Engine 255–Ladder 157: 1367 Rogers son.com. Bad news can be a teachable moment: Show kids how to help

By Shnieka L. JohnSon ever, they can more easily cope when they Rico to assist with the recovery, and do- know that there are people working to help nations to these organizations can be im- he 2017 hurricane season caused communities recover — familiar entities pactful. unprecedented damage. Communi- like the police, fire department, paramed- Funds have also been established on BROOKLYN FENCING CENTER T ties in Texas, Florida, Puerto Rico, ics and military personnel. If your children the local and state levels in New York. Gov. the United States Virgin Islands, and other have watched media coverage of Hurri- Cuomo created the “Empire State Relief BROOKLYN’S OLDEST COMPETITIVE FENCING CLUB islands throughout the Caribbean suffered cane Maria (and other natural disasters), and Recovery Effort for Puerto Rico” with great devastation. When Hurricane Maria be sure to answer their questions and help the goal of providing necessary goods made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico, them process the information they are and services, as well as money, to relief it measured as a Category 4 hurricane — receiving. Also, try to engage your child organizations working with the island’s 3.5 the strongest to ever hit there — and it in a discussion about the events by asking million residents. destroyed much of the island, killing over a questions. What questions or concerns do Mayor DeBlasio has the Mayor’s Fund, dozen people and knocking out the power they have? which supports aid and relief efforts to grid, flooding streets, and contaminating Your children may be fearful, especially areas impacted by Hurricanes Harvey, drinking water. if they have close family or friends affected Irma, and Maria. The city’s Office of It left more than one million people by storms. Let them know that it is okay to Emergency Management has set up a without power and limited phone access. be upset, but they have adults to support distribution center and is collecting and Many families went days without being them and willing to give them opportuni- sending supplies to Puerto Rico. able to contact extended family members ties to help. Sizeable monetary donations from outside the island. Many New Yorkers with There are many ways to aid families and businesses and large companies like the close ties to Puerto Rico scrambled to help children in Puerto Rico affected by Hur- Long Island City-based airline JetBlue family and friends on the island. Weeks ricane Maria. If you are looking to make a not only provide shipments of drink- after Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, monetary donation, there are humanitar- ing water, meals, and generators to the many problems still existed, including ian organizations that provide emergency island, but also fund transportation for *URXS&ODVVHV_3ULYDWH/HVVRQV closed hospitals, little fuel for generators, kits that include water filtration systems, dozens of emergency workers, police, REGISTER NOW! and feet of standing water. Local govern- such as UNICEF, Worldvision, and Save and fire department personnel to the is- 3URJUDPVDYDLODEOHIURPEHJLQQHUWRDGYDQFH %LUWKGD\3DUWLHV_&DPSV ZZZEURRNO\QIHQFLQJFRP ment officials have called it a “humanitar- the Children. There are also large organi- land as well. The donated supplies they LQIR#EURRNO\QIHQFLQJFRP ian disaster.” zations like the Salvation Army, the Red bring will be given to emergency relief $JHV 8S $GXOW*URXSV_ PRUH A natural disaster like Hurricane Maria Cross and the Hispanic Federation that and local organizations, then distributed can be hard to explain to children. How- have volunteers on the ground in Puerto to families and individuals directly af-

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 35 Parents books Running towards friendship Feeling grateful In the new book “Finding Gobi” by Dion the most dangerous part of the race; those Leonard, if you’re a lucky jogger, you may little paws simply wouldn’t be able to make aving a child changes a lot of because Katz has sought the advice of run across a new best friend. it across the Gobi desert. things, but it doesn’t need to Super Bowl-winning head coaches John Dion Leonard loved to run. By the end of the marathon, in which H change everything. Harbaugh, Tom Coughlin, and Jimmy Unfortunately, the ultra-marathon run- Leonard did exceptionally well, he had A picnic in the park might sound like Johnson, Hall-of-Famers Troy Aikman ner didn’t feel like he was good at it any- fallen in love with the an unpredictable and challenging outing and Howie Long, and so many more! Katz more. Still, he’d signed up little brown dog and — intimidating enough to keep everyone took their coaching advice and devel- to run 70 miles through vowed to take her home home. And taking the family on a trip? oped a parenting technique that is life- China. Maybe that old joy to Scotland. That was That can feel more like work than play! changing for parents of teenagers. would return. easier said than done; Austlen™ Baby Co. believes that baby Katz’s unprecedented access to these Fabulyss Finds And then Leonard saw there was yards of pa- The book worm gear should allow parents the ability to renowned coaches provides parents with Lyss stern the dog. perwork, all kinds of Terri Schlichenmeyer go and do, and that’s what their products a guide to commanding the respect of She was kind of scruffy, tests, quarantine, and have been designed for — to give parents their home and getting the whole family with a funny-looking tail and several airplane rides. more freedom to live in the moment. This to work toward common goals! Through hair around her nose that Hand your child this new #fabULyss stroller is perfect for taking entertaining anecdotes and easy-to-fol- made her look like she had book and she may im- the little ones Thanksgiving food shopping low tips, Coach Parenting gives parents a beard. He patted her and mediately know that ard writes subtly of his own issues at the and more. You will love the extra storage the tools they need to put their teenage sent her off, but when the its ending won’t be beginning of the race, of a non-dog-loving and want to take this stroller everywhere. sons and daughters on the path to suc- race started, she started run- sad, because the out- culture, and of fame that turns strangely www.austlen.com cess! Every parent raising a tween today healthier, stay fit, and keep control of ning right next to him! Leon- come is practically threatening. Because this is a young read- • • • should read this book. your diet. Busy New York City parents ard didn’t give the dog much on the front cover er’s edition, full explanations are lacking; “Coach Parenting: Raising Teenagers www.amazon.com/Coach-Parenting will love having Carried Away Chefs thought, but she paced him — and yet, “Finding also, language is pretty advanced. with Advice from Pro Football’s Greatest - Teenagers- Footballs-Greatest/dp/ come into their apartments. Focus on until that night at runner’s Gobi” is too charm- The best solution to those issues is to Head Coaches” by Erika Katz is a #Di- 1632991438 /ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 the family! You’ll have more time to sit camp, then she curled up next ing to pass up. read “Finding Gobi” along with your 8-to- vamomsbookclub must-read book. Did • • • down for a meal with your loved ones to him in his tent. Who can resist a tale of deter- 12-year-old. You won’t be sorry. As much you ever wonder why your teenagers Carried Away brings the finer points after a long day without the hassle of The next day, the little dog again ran mination against all odds, cost, and logis- as you love your dog, you’ll “get” this book, listen to their coaches and not to you? of dining to everyday meals while mak- menu planning, grocery shopping, cook- alongside Leonard. She never got tired, tics, when it comes to the love of a dog? so make a run for it. It’s because their coaches hold them ing your life easier, healthier, and more ing, and cleaning. For more information, and he started to like having this compan- Few could, that’s for sure. Be prepared for “Finding Gobi: Young Readers Edition: The accountable! Show up on time or get #deLysscious. Your chef creates custom visit www.carriedawaychefs.com ion on the marathon. At the end of the day, the questions that this child’s version of a True Story of One Little Dog’s Big Journey,” by benched! If you want to turn your family menus from seasonal ingredients tai- • • • he made arrangements to get her across grown-up book will launch: author Leon- Dion Leonard [208 pages, 2017, $14.99]. into a championship team, take a page lored to your family’s taste buds, comes I wish everyone a very happy, healthy out of the playbook of the NFL’s greatest to your house to prepare the meals, and Thanksgiving filled with lots of #DeLys- head coaches and start parenting like a leaves you with wholesome food to enjoy scious food. If you are cooking, taking tures in today’s coach! throughout the week. With the hustle your kids to the Macy’s Thanksgiving A treat for tweens and teens books, and fewer Between the constant texting, the and bustle of NYC, the ultimate goal of Day Parade, or watching it on TV, make cartoons. The crazy sleep habits, the insatiable appe- this service is to get families back to the sure to spend quality time with your Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch are your Feast your eyes on flowers feats and weird- tite, and the pushback at every turn, it’s dinner table to enjoy a convenient, af- loved ones. five senses and the writers of “Ripley’s Be- that appear to be animals. See ness are more easy to wonder how you’re going to raise fordable way of eating together. lieve It or Not! Shatter Your Senses” really spiders at war — if you dare! modern and less your sons and daughters to be respon- They take the stress out of mealtime. Lyss Stern is the founder of DivaLysscious do what they promise here. Peep amazing undersea pat- historic. Without a sible young adults. Grab your clipboard, They make it easy and enjoyable to eat Moms (www.divamoms.com). Find out why people eat the witchetty terns that male pufferfish make lot of “interactive” grub (yum?). Read about the Canadian to lure the ladies. Get a load of clutter, this book is man who’s traveled to more than 50 coun- the pink hippo, and read about easier to use, too, Chocolate-Maple 1 teaspoon coarse salt and salt until mixture resembles coarse tries just to dine at McDonald’s. Or shiver the giant hamster you can actu- because it doesn’t Pecan tart 3 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely meal and holds together when pinched. at the article about blood-eating bats. ally ride. require anything chopped (1/2 cup) Fold in chocolate. Press evenly into bottom For many, the Thanksgiving holiday Get a whiff of this: in Guangdong Prov- Can emojis become songs? If but intrigue, curios- and up sides of a 13-by-4-inch, fluted tart ince, China, the villagers sell bags of air wouldn’t be the same without pecan FILLING: Sir Paul McCartney gets ahold ity, and, sometimes, pan with a removable bottom. Refrigerate to tourists. Plus, would you wear urine- pie. In this recipe, Martha Stewart adds One-half cup granulated maple sugar of them — yes! Find out what a strong stomach. until firm, about 20 minutes. 2. bake crust powered socks? Or imagine standing next deadly coincidence befell the rock a delicious twist to the tradition by add- 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour What more could a until golden and set, 25 to 30 minutes. let to this: on July 5 of last year, it got so hot group Jefferson Airplane. Then check out young reader want? Um, maybe something ing chunks of chocolate to the crust and 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt cool completely on a wire rack. increase in New York that a pile of horse manure The Isolator, a sensory-deprivation device to share, because you can enjoy this book maple sugar to the filling. 2 large eggs, plus 2 large egg whites oven heat to 350 degrees. 3. Filling: Whisk spontaneously caught on fire. invented in the 1920s. right along with your 12 to 18 year old. www.marthastewart.com/ 1133582/ (reserved from yolks used in crust) together maple sugar, flour, and salt in a Stick your fingers inside this book and Five minutes. That’s all the time your You’ll both eat it up. Its trippy cover is one chocolate-crusted-pecan-tart medium bowl. Whisk in eggs and whites, 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted see double-sided cowboy boots and a re- teen has between school, homework, you’ll want to touch. Yeah, “Ripley’s Believe butter, and corn syrup until smooth. Place CRUST: 1/4 cup light corn syrup purposed statue. Take a look at a touching friends, sports, band practice, and the It or Not! Shatter Your Senses!” looks good. crust on a parchment-lined, rimmed baking 1 1/2 cups pecan halves, toasted photo of a chicken and his monkey friend. 1,000 other things going on in his life. And “Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Shatter Your Five tablespoons unsalted butter, room sheet. scatter pecans evenly onto crust. Think about more than a dozen scorpions yet — he still has time to read, especially Senses,” by Ripley’s folks [256 pages, 2017, temperature DIRECTIONS: slowly pour in filling. bake tart until puffed sitting on your arms. And if you had “an if he’s got this book. $28.95]. 3 tablespoons granulated sugar 1. Crust: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. slightly and set, 25 to 30 minutes. let cool extremely rare skin disorder” like the Ban- The Ripley’s you loved in your child- Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading 2 large eggs, separated Combine butter and granulated sugar in completely on a wire rack. Remove from gladeshi man in this book, you’d be happy hood has been reimagined and updated since she was 3 years old. She lives on a hill 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour a medium bowl. stir in yolks, then flour pan; serve. to be able to touch anything! for an all-new audience: there are more pic- with two dogs and 12,000 books.

36 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 booksbooks Running towards friendship In the new book “Finding Gobi” by Dion the most dangerous part of the race; those Leonard, if you’re a lucky jogger, you may little paws simply wouldn’t be able to make run across a new best friend. it across the Gobi desert. Dion Leonard loved to run. By the end of the marathon, in which Unfortunately, the ultra-marathon run- Leonard did exceptionally well, he had ner didn’t feel like he was good at it any- fallen in love with the more. Still, he’d signed up little brown dog and to run 70 miles through vowed to take her home China. Maybe that old joy to Scotland. That was would return. easier said than done; And then Leonard saw there was yards of pa- The book worm the dog. perwork, all kinds of Terri Schlichenmeyer She was kind of scruffy, tests, quarantine, and with a funny-looking tail and several airplane rides. hair around her nose that Hand your child this made her look like she had book and she may im- a beard. He patted her and mediately know that ard writes subtly of his own issues at the sent her off, but when the its ending won’t be beginning of the race, of a non-dog-loving race started, she started run- sad, because the out- culture, and of fame that turns strangely ning right next to him! Leon- come is practically threatening. Because this is a young read- ard didn’t give the dog much on the front cover er’s edition, full explanations are lacking; thought, but she paced him — and yet, “Finding also, language is pretty advanced. until that night at runner’s Gobi” is too charm- The best solution to those issues is to camp, then she curled up next ing to pass up. read “Finding Gobi” along with your 8-to- to him in his tent. Who can resist a tale of deter- 12-year-old. You won’t be sorry. As much The next day, the little dog again ran mination against all odds, cost, and logis- as you love your dog, you’ll “get” this book, alongside Leonard. She never got tired, tics, when it comes to the love of a dog? so make a run for it. and he started to like having this compan- Few could, that’s for sure. Be prepared for “Finding Gobi: Young Readers Edition: The ion on the marathon. At the end of the day, the questions that this child’s version of a True Story of One Little Dog’s Big Journey,” by he made arrangements to get her across grown-up book will launch: author Leon- Dion Leonard [208 pages, 2017, $14.99].

tures in today’s A treat for tweens and teens books, and fewer cartoons. The Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch are your Feast your eyes on flowers feats and weird- five senses and the writers of “Ripley’s Be- that appear to be animals. See ness are more lieve It or Not! Shatter Your Senses” really spiders at war — if you dare! modern and less do what they promise here. Peep amazing undersea pat- historic. Without a Find out why people eat the witchetty terns that male pufferfish make lot of “interactive” grub (yum?). Read about the Canadian to lure the ladies. Get a load of clutter, this book is man who’s traveled to more than 50 coun- the pink hippo, and read about easier to use, too, tries just to dine at McDonald’s. Or shiver the giant hamster you can actu- because it doesn’t at the article about blood-eating bats. ally ride. require anything Get a whiff of this: in Guangdong Prov- Can emojis become songs? If but intrigue, curios- ince, China, the villagers sell bags of air Sir Paul McCartney gets ahold ity, and, sometimes, to tourists. Plus, would you wear urine- of them — yes! Find out what a strong stomach. powered socks? Or imagine standing next deadly coincidence befell the rock What more could a to this: on July 5 of last year, it got so hot group Jefferson Airplane. Then check out young reader want? Um, maybe something in New York that a pile of horse manure The Isolator, a sensory-deprivation device to share, because you can enjoy this book spontaneously caught on fire. invented in the 1920s. right along with your 12 to 18 year old. Stick your fingers inside this book and Five minutes. That’s all the time your You’ll both eat it up. Its trippy cover is one see double-sided cowboy boots and a re- teen has between school, homework, you’ll want to touch. Yeah, “Ripley’s Believe purposed statue. Take a look at a touching friends, sports, band practice, and the It or Not! Shatter Your Senses!” looks good. photo of a chicken and his monkey friend. 1,000 other things going on in his life. And “Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Shatter Your Think about more than a dozen scorpions yet — he still has time to read, especially Senses,” by Ripley’s folks [256 pages, 2017, sitting on your arms. And if you had “an if he’s got this book. $28.95]. extremely rare skin disorder” like the Ban- The Ripley’s you loved in your child- Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading gladeshi man in this book, you’d be happy hood has been reimagined and updated since she was 3 years old. She lives on a hill to be able to touch anything! for an all-new audience: there are more pic- with two dogs and 12,000 books.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 37 CalendarNovember

BAM opens its BAMkids Music series their first kid-focused album, “Night and Jazzing up with two performances by Jojo and the Day,” which comprises original songs Pinecones on Nov. 4 at the BAM Peter Jay and reimagined jazz standards struc- Sharp Building. tured around the course of a day. En- a music The local group brings jazz to the couraging mindfulness and gratitude. For family audience. Known for its distinc- children 4 to 8 years old. tive “jazzed-up pop and popped-up jazz” Jojo and the Pinecones, Nov. 4, 10:30 series style, the kindie jazzsters perform play- am and 2:30 pm; tickets are $10. ful, swinging tunes centered around Jo- BAM Peter Jay Sharp Building [30 Lafay- elle Lurie’s bold, smooth vocals. ette Ave. between Ashland Place and St. Felix The concert includes selections from Street in Clinton Hill, www.bam.org]

38 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Never miss a great event! Sign up for our FREE newsletter and get twice-a-week ideas for you and your family right in your mailbox. NYParenting.com Calendar

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Thurs, Nov. 2 In Brooklyn FLY Dance Company: Kumble Theater at Long Island University, DeKalb and Flatbush avenues; (718) 488–1624; www.kumbletheater.org; 10:15 am and noon; $10. Following their mission to mold, empower, and direct today’s youth through positive life choices, the self-proclaimed “gentlemen of hip-hop” will wow students with their am- Brave girl takes on wolf ped-up choreography, rockin’ energy, and messages of positive social impact. Grades: It’s a new season of family classics at become a showcase of bravery and 2–8. On Stage at Kingsborough. “Petra and compassion after a wolf threatens her Kids’ Discovery Stations: Brooklyn the Wolf” premiers Nov. 5. home. Meet and greet the cast post- Botanic Garden, 1000 Washington Ave., at Lionheart Youth Theatre company show. Eastern Parkway; (718) 623–7220; www. presents “Petra and the Wolf,” a cap- For children or the young at heart. bbg.org; 10:30 am to 12:30 pm; Free with tivating performance inspired by the “Petra and the Wolf,” Nov. 5 at 2 pm; general admission. Prokofiev classic “Peter and the Wolf”. all tickets $12. Explore plants and use real science tools Featuring large-scale puppetry and On Stage at Kingsborough [2001 Ori- alongside Discovery Docents at our hands- live music, meet the granddaughter ental Blvd. at Oxford Street in Manhat- on activity stations throughout the Discovery of the fabled Peter, the mischievous tan Beach; (718) 368–5596;www.onstageat Garden. This is a drop-in program for camp but fearless Petra, whose adventures kingsborough.org] groups and families with children of all ages. All programs are outdoors and canceled in inclement weather. Check this webpage for updates. Ashland Place and St. Felix Street; www. Jumping Frog of Calaveras County and Other The Ed Center: Brooklyn Bridge Park, Pier bam.org; 10:30 am and 2:30 pm; $10. Sketches.” 2, Joralemon Street at Furman Street; (718) The local group brings jazz to the family Treehouse Shakers 20th Birthday 222–9939; www.brooklynbridgepark.org; 3 audience. Known for its distinctive “jazzed- Party: BAM Fisher, 321 Ashland Pl. be- pm to 5 pm; Free. up pop and popped-up jazz” style, the kindie tween Hansen Place and Lafayette Avenue; The Ed Center is open for free, drop in jazzsters perform playful, swinging tunes [email protected]; www. hours four afternoons a week! Get to know centered around Joelle Lurie’s bold, smooth bam.org; 11 am; $15. vocals. The concert includes selections from Brooklyn Bridge Park with our 250 gallon Enjoy storytelling, dancing, art activities, their first kid-focused album, Night and Day, aquarium filled with critters from the East prizes, cake, balloons, face painting, and which comprises original songs and reimag- River, a 10’ scale model of Brooklyn Bridge more at the Birthday Party! For 20 Years, ined jazz standards structured around the Park, crafts, a reading corner, and much Treehouse Shakers has been a leader in cre- course of a day. Encouraging mindfulness more! ating innovative performances, workshops, and gratitude. For children 4 to 8 years old. and more for young people and their grown- Fri, Nov. 3 Celebrate Twain Read-A-Thon: Books ups. Join us to celebrate with the creators, are Magic, 225 Smith Street; (718) 246 designers, and performers who make Tree- In Brooklyn -2665; https://booksaremagic.net/?q=h.ca- house Shakers a magical place that inspires Kids’ Discovery Stations: 10:30 am to levents; 11 am; Free. imagination. 12:30 pm. Brooklyn Botanic Garden. See Join us in celebrating the release of Mark The Ed Center: 1 pm to 5 pm. Brooklyn Thursday, Nov. 2. Twain’s never-before-published The Purloin- Bridge Park, Pier 2. See Thursday, Nov. 2. ing of Prince Oleomargarine. In addition to Sat, Nov. 4 celebrating Twain’s previously unfinished The Longer Subway: New York Transit fairy tale, which was brought to life by au- Museum, Boerum Place at Schermerhorn In Brooklyn thor Philip Stead and illustrator Erin Stead Street; (718) 694–1600; www.nytransitmu- JoJo & The Pinecones: BAM Peter Jay , this will also mark the 150th anniversary seum.org; 1:30 pm to 2:15 pm; Free with Sharp Building, 30 Lafayette Ave. between of Twain’s very first book, “The Celebrated admission to the museum.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 39 Calendar Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar

Join us in the Triplex, New York’s extra- long subway car from the past and examine the prototype for the articulated subway trains of the future. Craft and decorate your own model, too! For childen ages 4 and older. Music in Motion: Fulton Ferry Landing, 1 Water St. at Furman Street; www. bargemusic.org; 4 pm; Free. Bargemusic presents a family concert of chamber music on its floating barge. The hour-long concert is followed by a discussion with the artists. Family Fun: African Dance: Mark Mor- ris Dance Group, 3 Lafayette Ave. between Nostrand Avenue and Bedford Avenue; (718) 624–8400; [email protected]; www.mark- morrisdancegroup.org; 4:30pm –5:30pm; $25 / Family of 2-3 $30 / Family of 4-6. Explore traditional African folklore and rhythms through movement and music. Further Afield School Fair: New York Hall of Science, 47- 01 111th St., Queens; (718) 699–0005 X353; www.nyscience.org; 1 pm to 3 pm; Free. Middle school students (Grades 6 – 8) and their parents explore high schools and the various opportunities offered. Students get Historic Flatbush holiday to talk with representatives from the schools about the application process, deadlines and Hold on to your sleigh bells and from a Lefferts family recipe. requirements. learn how families prepared for Winter An added treat has St. Nicholas visit- on a Flatbush Farm at Lefferts Historic ing at 3 pm. Have you been naughty or Sun, Nov. 5 House on Nov. 26. nice? Only St. Nicholas knows for sure. Children will learn all about life on Little children get the chance to visit In Brooklyn a winter farm and discover life in the with him and find out what goodies Back 2 Back: Lisa Desmini and Andrea olden days. Dutch treats and cookies wait in store. Tsunami: Books are Magic, 225 Smith Street; add to the get-ready-for-winter work- “Winter on a Flatbush Farm” on Nov. (718) 246 -2665; https://booksaremagic. net/?q=h.calevents; 1 pm; Free. shops as children did in the 19th cen- 26 from 1 to 3 pm. $3. The Society of Children’s Book Writers tury farming village of Flatbush. Chil- Lefferts Historic House [452 Flatbush and Illustrators presents a new series, Back 2 dren make a candle, watch a master Ave. between Empire Boulevard and East- Back, which features children’s book veterans spinster spin wool thread, and enjoy ern Parkway in Flatbush; www.prospectp with new talent. This week we welcome Lisa Dutch treats made in an outdoor hearth ark.org] Desimini (The Fleatastics) and Andrea Tsurumi (Accident!) to read from their books and host a fun story time. www.brooklynmuseum.org; 3pm to 5 pm; materials, and learn artistic techniques with The Longer Subway: 1:30 pm to 2:15 Free with Museum admission. a new project each month. Bring the whole pm. New York Transit Museum. See Satur- Celebrate the Girls Read for Girls read-a- family and stay as long as you’d like! day, Nov. 4. thon! Girls and boys from grades K–8 read “Petra and the Wolf:” On Stage at and raise money for the Malala Fund, which Wed, Nov. 8 Kingsborough, 2001 Oriental Blvd. at Oxford works to secure the rights of girls to a mini- Street; (718) 368–5596; www.onstageatk- mum of twelve years of education. Register In Brooklyn ingsborough.org; 2 pm; $12. for the read-a-thon today and bring your “The Winter’s Tale:” Brownsville Rec- Lionheart Youth Theatre company presents final pledge form to the culminating celebra- reation Center, 1555 Linden Blvd. (718) “Petra and the Wolf,” a captivating perfor- tion, which includes speakers, performances, 345–2706; https://www.nycgovparks.org/ mance inspired by the Prokofiev classic Peter and readings. Free and open to the public, events/2017/11/04/arts-culture-fun-the- and the Wolf. Featuring large-scale pup- but registration is required to participate. public-theater-mobile-unit-the-winters-tale; petry and live music, meet the granddaugh- Creativity Lab: Brooklyn Museum, 200 11:30 am to 1:30 pm; Free. ter of the fabled Peter, the mischievous but Eastern Pkwy. at Washington Avenue; Dire misunderstanding changes the course fearless Petra, whose adventures become a (718) 638–5000; www.brooklynmuseum. of destiny when King Leontes becomes con- showcase of bravery and compassion after a org; 4 pm to 5:30 pm; Free with Museum vinced that his wife is pregnant with his wolf threatens her home. Meet the cast post- admission. friend’s child. The maligned wife perishes, show. For children or the young at heart. Welcome to the Lab! Drop by our studios the accused friend flees, and the cursed in- Girls Read for Girls Read-A-Thon: and explore your creative side. In this drop-in fant is left to die alone on the shore. But Brooklyn Museum, 200 Eastern Pkwy. at workshop for all ages, take inspiration from from the depths of tragedy, wondrous things Washington Avenue; (718) 638–5000; our galleries and get messy, experiment with can occur. What’s lost is found, false identi-

40 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar Calendar

ties lead to true love, and the miracle of for- giveness brings new life to the world in one of Shakespeare’s most treasured romances. Space is limited, so please RSVP. For older teens.

Fri, Nov. 10 Further Afield Veterans weekend!: New-York Histori- cal Society, 170 Central Park West at 77th Street, Manhattan; (212) 873–3400; nyhis- tory.org; 10 am to 8 pm; General museum admission (Free for all on Veterans Day). Visit the Museum to remember the service of veterans past and present! Each day im- merses you in the history of African Ameri- cans serving in different wars throughout American history, as portrayed by Living His- torians. Listen to stories about life on and off the battlefield throughout American history, discover uniforms and equipment, or try out an army drill! (11/10) - Join the 1st Rhode Island Regiment in the struggle for Independence! The 1st RI portrays the Con- tinental Army’s historic “Black Regiment,” which was formed in part by African or First Nation slaves when they reinforced a dwin- dling Continental Army in 1778. (11/11) Fight Animated delight at BAM for the Union with the 6th Regiment of In- fantry, United States Colored Troops! The The BAMKids Movie Matinee series ages from silent film to 3D and every- 6th USCT honors African Americans who concludes with “Ernest & Celestine” on thing in between, BAMkids gives young joined the Army, like many others, after Nov. 26 at BAM Rose Cinemas. cinephiles and parents an enriching, Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclama- This animated charmer — about entertaining alternative to the standard tion in 1863. (11/12) Jump into the trenches with the Ebony Doughboys! You might know the surprising friendship between a multiplex kids’ fare. them as the ‘Harlem Hellfighters,’ but the gentle bear and an imaginative mouse “Ernest & Celestine”, Nov. 26 at 2 Ebony Doughboys portray the real 369th — spins a captivating tale of tolerance pm; tickets $10, $7 members and chil- Regiment U.S. Infantry. They originally named and acceptance. dren 12. themselves ‘the Rattlers’ and shipped out to BAMKids curates a selection of inter- BAM Rose Cinemas [30 Lafayette Ave. France in 1917—100 years ago! And don’t national, independent, and classic mov- between Lafayatte Avenue and Hanson forget to explore more recent military service ies perfect for film-loving families. With Place in Fort Greene; (718) 636–4100; by checking out The Vietnam War Exhibition www.bam.org] Family Guide (recommended for ages 11+), programming geared toward a range of available daily through the run of the show.

smash hit How Not to Hate Your Husband pm; $25 ($20 students with id). Sat, Nov. 11 After Kids, in launching her new picture book This program is filled with riveting Afro- In Brooklyn I’m Afraid Your Teddy Is in Trouble Today. As Modern and Contemporary movement and adorable as it is raucous, Dunn’s whimsical Sing along Shabbat: Bay Ridge Jewish features choreography that celebrates soul tale of freedom and fun comes to vibrant life Center, 8025 Fourth Ave. between 80th and music. Aside from the company, the eve- in Scott Nash’s colorful illustrations. 81st streets; (718) 836–3103; office@brjc. ning will feature a group of young pre-pro- org; www.brjc.org; 10:45am. Brooklyn Children’s Book Fair: Brook- fessional dancers from the New York area Experience Shabbat morning with singing, lyn Museum, 200 Eastern Pkwy. at Washing- who have worked with members of Ntrin- guitar, puppetry and musical prayer. Families ton Avenue; (718) 638–5000; www.brook- sik Movement in various public schools and with children infant to 5 years olds, siblings lynmuseum.org; 11:30 am; Free. dance studios. and caregivers participate in a playful setting Over 50 Brooklyn authors and illustrators, Further Afield and form friendships. Followed by challah plus book readings, illustrator demonstra- and grape juice with the BRJC Community. tions, and hands-on art-making activities. Veterans weekend!: 10 am to 6 pm. New- York Historical Society. See Friday, Nov. 10. Jancee Dunn: I’m Afraid Your Teddy is in The Longer Subway: 1:30 pm to 2:15 Trouble Today: Books are Magic, 225 Smith pm. New York Transit Museum. See Satur- Street; (718) 246 -2665; https://booksare- day, Nov. 4. Sun, Nov. 12 magic.net/?q=h.calevents; 11 am; Free. Music in Motion: 4 pm. Fulton Ferry In Brooklyn Have you ever wondered what stuffed ani- Landing. See Saturday, Nov. 4. mals do while their companion humans are Fall Flea Market!!: Bay Ridge Jewish at school? What if a teddy bear invited all his Timeless: Kumble Theater at Long Island Center, 8025 Fourth Ave. between 80th and stuffed animal friends over? We are pleased University, DeKalb and Flatbush avenues; 81st streets; (718) 836–3103; office@brjc. to welcome Jancee Dunn, author of the (718) 488–1624; www.kumbletheater.org; 7 org; www.brjc.org; 9 am.

November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 41 Calendar Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar

Over 50 vendors sell gifts, collectibles, toys, jewelry & more. Come to the flea market that everyone loves. Mingle, eat, shop & have a great day. Something for everyone! Refresh- ments available. The Longer Subway: 1:30 pm to 2:15 pm. New York Transit Museum. See Satur- day, Nov. 4. “Long Way North:” BAM Rose Cinemas, 30 Lafayette Ave. between Lafayatte Avenue and Hanson Place; (718) 636–4100; www. bam.org; 2 pm; $10 ($7members; $7 children under 12). A fearless young girl embarks on a cou- rageous quest to reach the North Pole in search of her grandfather in this this rousing adventure, a treasure box of gorgeous, hand- drawn animation. Further Afield Veterans weekend!: 11 am to 5 pm. New- York Historical Society. See Friday, Nov. 10.

Tues, Nov. 14 In Brooklyn Where magic is in the air Herbs for Kids and the Adults Who Come and experience the magic Lisa Desimini and Andrea Tsurumi, Love Them: Brooklyn Botanic Garden, at the Books are Magic book shop who will read their books and host a 1000 Washington Ave. at Eastern Parkway; through November. fun story time. (718) 623–7220; www.bbg.org; 6 pm to Celebrate the release of the pre- Jancee Dunn launches her new pic- 7:30 pm; $24 ($27 non member) plus $9 ma- viously unfinished fairy tale of Mark ture book “I’m Afraid Your Teddy is terials charge. Twain, “The Purloining of Prince Oleo- in Trouble Today” on Nov. 11 at 11 am Elderberry honey is a delight if your child has a sore throat; lemon balm popsicles will margarine” on Nov. 4 at 11 am, with Jancee answers the question, “Have help sooth a fever; and slippery elm bark is a an all day read-a-thon. The tale was you ever wondered what stuffed ani- sore tummy’s best friend. Learn ways to com- brought to life by author Philip Stead mals do while their companion hu- fort your kids (and yourself) as the weather and illustrator Erin Stead. The day also mans are at school?” The adorable changes. Discover how to make plants our marks the 150th anniversary of Mark story is a whimsical tale of freedom herbal allies for good health and happiness. Twain’s very first book “The Celebrated and comes to life in Scott Nash’s color- This class is primarily for adults, but children Jumping Frog of Calaveras County and ful illustrations. are welcome to sit in with supervision. Regis- Other Sketches.” All the events are free, open to the tration is required. On Nov. 5 at 1 pm The Society of public, and are suitable for all ages. Children’s Book Writers and Illustra- RSVP is requested. Fri, Nov. 17 tors presents a new series, Back 2 Back, Books are Magic [225 Smith St. in Gow- In Brooklyn which features children’s book veter- anus; (718) 246–2665; https://booksare- Musical Shabbat: Bay Ridge Jewish Cen- ans with new talent. Nov. 5 welcomes m a g i c . n e t ter, 8025 Fourth Ave. between 80th and 81st streets; (718) 836–3103; office@brjc. org; www.brjc.org; 6:30 pm; Free. 899452968097/?acontext=%7B%22re Everybody loves a quiz show. At the Jew- Get ready to sing and clap to the beat of f%22%3A%224%22%2C%22action_ ish Children’s Museum, visitors can compete the music and prayers of our heart. All ages history%22%3A%22null%22%7D; Noon; against each other to answer questions on welcome. $10 at the door. Jewish life in a sounds-and-lights-filled game Join Team Charlotte and friends for a fam- show setting. Duration: Approximately 30 min. ily friendly day of music, raffles, and fun to Sat, Nov. 18 Olive Oil workshop: Jewish Children’s support Autism Speaks. Featuring Back From In Brooklyn Zero, Out of the Blue, Rock Farm, The Canny Museum, 792 Eastern Pkwy. at Kingston Av- Music in Motion: 4 pm. Fulton Ferry Brothers Band, and The Social Zoo. Benefits enue; (718) 907–8833; www.jcm.museum; Landing. See Saturday, Nov. 4. Autism Speaks. 2:30 pm; Free with museum admission. Pick, press, pour, and explore the art of olive oil making in a fun and interactive Sun, Nov. 19 Thurs, Nov. 23 workshop. Duration: Approx. 30 minutes. In Brooklyn In Brooklyn Team Charlotte and Friends Pres- Game Show: Jewish Children’s Museum, Fri, Nov. 24 ent a Concert for Autism Speaks: 792 Eastern Pkwy. at Kingston Avenue; (718) The Leif, 6725 Fifth Ave. at 67th Street; 907–8833; www.jcm.museum; 1:30 pm; In Brooklyn https://www.facebook.com/events/109 Free with musum admission. Tot Shabbat: Bay Ridge Jewish Center,

42 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Calendar Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar

8025 Fourth Ave. between 80th and 81st streets; (718) 836–3103; [email protected]; www.brjc.org; 5:30 pm. Families with children infant to 5 years old, siblings and caregivers experience Shabbat with songs, stories, instruments and dancing. Journey through a Shabbat experience that will excite your children and develop Jew- ish Community. Tot Shabbat concludes with challah and grape juice and lots of smiles!

Sun, Nov. 26 In Brooklyn Winter on a Flatbush Farm: Lefferts Historic House, 452 Flatbush Ave. between Empire Boulevard and Eastern Parkway; (718) 789–2822; www.prospectpark.org; 1 pm to 3 pm; $3. Get ready for winter as they did in the 19th century farming village of Flatbush. Learn how to make a candle, watch a master spinster spin wool thread, and enjoy Dutch treats made at our outdoor hearth from a Lefferts family recipe. St. Nicholas will visit at 3 pm. Hip-hop’s positive energy Olive Oil workshop: 1:30 pm and 2:30 Soar into hip hop with FLY Dance phy, rockin’ energy, and messages of pm. Jewish Children’s Museum. See Thurs- Company on Nov. 2 at Kumble Theater positive social impact. Grades: 2 – 8 day, Nov. 23. at Long Island University. FLY Dance Company, Nov. 2 10: 15 “Ernest and Celestine:” BAM Rose Cin- Following their mission to mold, em- am and noon; tickets $10 each. emas, 30 Lafayette Ave. between Lafayatte power, and direct today’s youth through Kumble Theater at Long Island Univer- Avenue and Hanson Place; (718) 636–4100; positive life choices, the self-proclaimed sity [DeKalb and Flatbush avenues in Fort www.bam.org; 2 pm; $10 ($7members; $7 “gentlemen of hip-hop” will wow stu- Greene; (718) 488–1624; www.kumblethe children under 12). This animated charmer—about the surpris- dents with their amped-up choreogra- ater.org] ing friendship between a gentle bear and an imaginative mouse—spins a captivating tale of tolerance and acceptance. Mon, Nov. 27; Free with musum admission. everything from team building, creative think- Kids can discover the music within at this ing and problem solving to spatial reason- Creativity Lab: 4 pm to 5:30 pm. Brook- hands-on exhibit at the Jewish Children’s ing and pre-engineering concepts. Different lyn Museum. See Sunday, Nov. 5. Museum. Little music-makers of all ages are scales of blocks enable hands of all sizes to encouraged to experiment with a range of build and be challenged. Long-running instruments, including a finger chime and Sensory Room: Brooklyn Children’s Mu- a giant xylophone. They’ll particularly enjoy In Brooklyn seum, 145 Brooklyn Ave. at St. Marks Av- making all the noise they want (without fear enue; (718) 735–4400; www.brooklynkids. Totally Tots studio: Brooklyn Children’s of disturbing the neighbors) in the percussion org; Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays, 2 Museum, 145 Brooklyn and St. Marks av- center. Appropriate for all ages. pm to 5:30 pm, Thurs, Nov. 2 – Thurs, Dec. enues; (718) 735–4400; www.brooklynkids. Transit Tots: New York Transit Museum, 21; Free with museum admission. org; Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays Boerum Place at Schermerhorn Street; (718) An inclusive space where children of all and Sundays, 10 am to noon, Wed, Nov. 694–1600; www.nytransitmuseum.org; abilities can engage with their peers and ex- 1 – Thurs, Dec. 21; Free with museum Thursdays, 10:15 am to 11 am, until Mon, plore their senses. Sessions in the space are admission. Jan. 8, 2018; Free with admission to the balanced between self guided exploration of Children make inspired artwork. Learn museum. the space and a facilitated program by one about Kehinde Wiley, Titus Kaphar, Alma Stories, games and surprises for our young- of BCM’s Educators. The program might in- thomas and Ebony Patterson. est transportation fans! Free with admission. clude story time, a song session, parachute Craft room: Jewish Children’s Museum, For ages 2-5 and adult companions. play, or meeting one of the Museum’s live 792 Eastern Pkwy. at Kingston Avenue; (718) Brooklyn Block Lab: Brooklyn Children’s animals. This room was created with an advi- 907–8833; www.jcm.museum; Sundays Museum, 145 Brooklyn and St. Marks av- sory committee of scholars and professionals – Thursdays, 1 pm to 3 pm, Wed, Nov. 1 – enues; (718) 735–4400; www.brooklynkids. with experience serving children with Autism Thurs, Nov. 30; Free with musum admission. org; Thursdays, 2 pm to 5:30 pm, Fridays Spectrum Disorders (ASD). All are welcome Get creative with a variety of Jewish – Sundays, 10 am to 1 pm, Thurs, Nov. 2 – in this space, please let the Educator pres- themed crafts to choose from! (Closed 9/20 Thurs, Dec. 21; free with museum admisson. ent know if your child has particular needs or sensitivities. and 9/21 for Rosh Hashanah). Visitors of all ages are invited to design Music Room: Jewish Children’s Museum, and build with an array of blocks including Train Operator Workshop: New York 792 Eastern Pkwy. at Kingston Avenue; (718) Magna-Tiles, Imagination Playground, Kapla Transit Museum, Boerum Place at Schermer- 907–8833; www.jcm.museum; Sundays Planks, and more. Block play supports critical horn Street; (718) 694–1600; www.nytran- – Thursdays, 1 pm to 3 pm, Wed, Nov. 1 – social and cognitive skills in early childhood- sitmuseum.org; Fridays and Saturdays, 1:30

43 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Calendar Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar

pm, until Tues, Jan. 16, 2018; Free with museum admission. Drop by our Computer Lab to take control of a NYC Subway car and operate it over virtual miles of track, using some incredibly realistic software! Space is limited, recommended for children 10 years and older. Nature Exploration: Prospect Park Audubon Center, Enter park at Lincoln Road and Ocean Avenue; (718) 287–3400; www. prospectpark.org/audubon; Saturday, Nov. 4, Noon to 4 pm; Sunday, Nov. 5, Noon to 4 pm; Tuesday, Nov. 7, Noon to 4 pm; Sat- urday, Nov. 11, Noon to 4 pm; Sunday, Nov. 12, Noon to 4 pm; Saturday, Nov. 18, Noon to 4 pm; Sunday, Nov. 19, Noon to 4 pm; Saturday, Nov. 25, Noon to 4 pm; Sunday, Nov. 26, Noon to 4 pm; Free. Join Prospect Park Alliance for fun nature activities each weekend, and also participate in our 150th anniversary species count for special prizes. Discovery Pack, 10 am–12 pm: get inspired by nature with our new Discov- ery Packs, ready-to-go kits filled with nature activities for families. Blooming Naturalist,

10 am: So you think you are a naturalist? In- Carol Rosegg vestigate the natural world by learning how to use tools and guides used by biologist. This activity leads you through activities to Critter with an appetite discover the Audubon Center and Prospect Park. Nature’s Helpers, 11 am: Learn how to The Very Hungry Caterpillar Show all ages. keep Prospect Park healthy by cleaning up will be making its debut at the DR2 The Very Hungry Caterpillar Show, the lakeshore, spreading mulch or removing Theater in Union Square now through Now through Feb. 2, 2018; Thursdays, invasive species. This is activity is led by Alli- Feb. 2, 2018 10 am, Fridays, 10 am and noon, Satur- ance staff and all materials are provided. The production of the Very Hungry days, 10 am, noon, 2 pm and 4 pm, Sun- Quilt show: Lefferts Historic House, 452 Caterpillar show features 75 puppets days, 10 am , noon, and 2 pm; Tickets Flatbush Ave. between Empire Boulevard and adapts four of Eric Carle’s stories, range from $25 to $100. and Eastern Parkway; (718) 789–2822; www.prospectpark.org; Saturdays and Sun- “Brown Bear, Brown Bear,” “10 Little Reservations not required. days, 1 pm to pm, Sat, Nov. 4 – Sun, Nov. Rubber Ducks,” “The Very Lonely Fire- DR2 Theater (Union Square) [103 East 26; $3. fly,” and “the Very Hungry Caterpillar.” 15th St. in Union Square; (800) 982– Join Prospect Park Alliance to see the won- The show is suitable for children of 2787] derful work of The Brooklyn Quilters’ Guild while their quilt exhibit is on display at the Lefferts Historic House. This year’s exhibit is (718) 220–5103; www.bronxzoo.com; Daily, 79th Street, Manhattan; (212) 769–5200; themed “A Trip Around the World”. These appointments between 10am–5pm; until www.amnh.org; Mondays — Thursdays, original creations range from traditional Sun, Dec. 31; Climb: $64..95; Zip: $34.95 1:30 pm to 5: 10 pm, Free with museum to contemporary to mixed media fiber art. (plus admission). admission. While you are here try your hand at making There are two new exciting experiences to Ffamilies, and especially children ages 5-12, your own paper quilt collage or add to our be had at the Bronx Zoo, and both are part enjoy an interactive gateway to the wonders community paper patchwork quilt. of the Treetop Adventure Program. One ex- of the Museum and a hands-on, behind-the- Further Afield perience — called Climb — is an aerial ad- scenes look at its science. Children, accompanied by adults, can explore an array of ar- Drones: Is the Sky the Limit?: Intrepid Sea, venture course consisting of rope bridges, tifacts and specimens, puzzles, and scientific Air & Space Museum, Pier 86 (46h St. and rope walks, ladders, wobbly bridges and challenges. Hunt for animals in a majestic 12th Avenue), Manhattan; www.intrepidmu- swinging elements. There are various lev- two-story replica of an African baobab tree seum.org; Weekdays, 10 am to 5 pm, Satur- els of difficulty. The other adventure offered filled with specimens of birds, insects, rep- days and Sundays, 10 am to 6 pm, until Sun, is Zipline, allowing guests to zip across the tiles, and small mammals. Create your own Dec. 3; $33 ($31 seniors; $24, children 5-12; Bronx River 50 feet up in the air. Both ad- collection of minerals, skulls, or arthropods Free children under 5; Ret. & Active Duty ventures require a ticket in addition to an All from a cabinet full of fascinating specimens. Military, Free). Experience Ticket and there are participation Gather around an authentic Kwakiutl totem The exhibit explores pilotless aircraft and requirements (some of which are: weighing between 50 and 75 pounds, and being able pole carved at the Museum in 1992. Assem- the history of drone technology. Visitors ble a life-sized cast skeleton of Prestosuchus, to reach 5’6” from flat feet). Check website can fly actual drones and explore the use of a 14-foot long reptile from the late Triassic for more information. Tickets are sold by time drones in police and fire departments, fash- Period and handle real fossils. Track real-time and appointment. ion, and art. earthquakes anywhere in the world on a Treetop Adventures: Bronx Zoo, 2300 Discovery room: American Museum of three-drum seismograph and explore the nat- Southern Blvd. at Boston Road, The Bronx; Natural History, Central Park West at West ural world with sophisticated microscopes.

44 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 theMarketplace

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November 2017 • Brooklyn Family 45 New & Noteworthy By Lisa J. Curtis Flex their creativity The new, wearable kit from Wowwee’s Magnaflex enables kids to learn through play as they follow the instruction booklet to make a necklace, bracelet, bow tie, and more with these unique, flexible, magnetic pieces. It’s a winning combination of form and function with it’s contrasting aqua and red pieces that make a satisfying “snap!” when they attract each other. Kids can follow along with the booklet of ideas or exercise their imaginations and assemble their own creations from the 14-piece set which includes eight Magnaflex strips, two big connectors, and four small connectors. The flexible pieces can connect in other ways, too, and they can be combined with other Magnaflex kits. When removed from their packaging, they can easily fit in a small, sandwich-size bag for play on road trips or in a restaurant. Recommended for kids ages 3 and older, this is a magna-ficent gift idea. Magnaflex Wearable kit by WowWee, $19.95, www.barnesandnoble. com.

‘Seek’ laughter Type cast When you need an icebreaker to help Brooklyn biographer David Stabler shy cousins put away the screens and has penned a collection of inspiring interact with each other this Thanksgiv- “true tales” drawn from 16 renowned ing, check out Mattel Games’s scavenger writers’ childhoods that just might in- hunt card game, Card ‘N’ Go Seek. Fun spire budding authors to put pen to for kids ages 7 and older, this game can paper, too. even be enjoyed by younger kids who Each chapter have a designated reader. The deck has Kudos for kids of “Kid Authors: green, blue, and orange cards, and the Kudo Banz are a wearable, mobile re- True Tales of winner is the first player to get one of ward system that can be used to rein- Childhood from each color — or three of the same color. force good behavior whether you and your Famous Writers” The cards describe a type of item the unruly tot are in the supermarket or at (Quirk Books) players must find. The home, attempting toilet training or getting is devoted to dealer puts a number ready for school. The Kudos are attachable a single scribe of cards on the table charms that the parent adds to the child’s — from the re- that is one less than rubber wristband each time they achieve cently famed the number of players, the sought-after behavior. When the child Jeff Kinney like musical chairs. The earns his third Kudo, he scans it with the (“Diary of a players count to three, free app, and watches as the charm — em- Wimpy Kid”) to Mark then make a break for bedded with an AR code — unlocks their Twain (“The Adventures of Huckleberry it. Speed helps. The first customized reward wheel, so the child can Finn”). player to get back with earn an easy — yet special — perk like “Kid Authors” is sure to be a a rivet- the correct object — extra time outside or an additional story ing read for ages 8 to 12 — and anyone or animal — wins the at bedtime. that loves children’s literature. matching card. There are some addi- The starter pack includes: two wrist- The color illustrations by Doogie tional rules to keep the game interest- bands; six Kudo charms (four stars and Horner add humor to the entertaining ing, and there’s lots of room for negotia- two scannable charms; “The Adventures book. And even if a “Kid Authors” reader tion when bringing back a grandmother of Drago and George” book; and a carrying doesn’t feel compelled to pen the next to match a card that says “sparkles” or pouch for the charms and bands. “Anne of Green Gables” — like featured a spoonful of mashed potatoes to match Recommended for kids ages 3 to 10, the novelist Lucy Maud Montgomery — she “bumpy texture.” When the whole clan Kudo Banz set rewards kids for conducting will certainly be spurred to seek out the is laughing and talking, all the players themselves well, and helps parents replace books written by these former kids. will feel like winners. yelling and time-outs with encouragement. “Kid Authors: True Tales of Childhood Card ‘N’ Go Seek card game, $7.99, Kudo Banz Starter Pack, $29.95, www.ku- from Famous Writers” book by David Sta- www.walmart.com. dobanz.com. bler, $13.95, www.amazon.com.

46 Brooklyn Family • November 2017 Fall–Winter 2015–2016 NEW YORK FREE NEW YORK SPECIAL CHILD New & Noteworthy www.NYParenting.com By Lisa J. Curtis SPECIAL CHILD The risks of Flex their creativity misdiagnosis How social media LONG ISLAND The new, wearable kit from Wowwee’s Magnaflex enables kids supports parents to learn through play as they follow the instruction booklet to make a necklace, bracelet, bow tie, and more with these unique, Strategies SPECIAL CHILD flexible, magnetic pieces. It’s a winning combination of form and for language function with it’s contrasting aqua and red pieces that make a 4 inspiring satisfying “snap!” when they attract each other. Kids can follow success stories WESTCHESTER/ROCKLAND along with the booklet of ideas or exercise their imaginations and assemble their own creations from the 14-piece set which Eliminating problem foods includes eight Magnaflex strips, two big connectors, and four SPECIAL CHILD small connectors. The flexible pieces can connect in other ways, too, and they 200+ Trusted since 2008 can be combined with other Magnaflex kits. When removed from resources their packaging, they can easily fit in a small, sandwich-size bag for play on road trips or in a restaurant. Recommended for kids ages 3 and older, this is a magna-ficent gift idea. Fall/Winter 2014–2015 LONG ISLAND FREE Informing & enriching Magnaflex Wearable kit by WowWee, $19.95, www.barnesandnoble. com. SPECIAL CHILD “Special Needs” www.NYParenting.com

Motivate families ‘Seek’ laughter Type cast your children throughout NYC, When you need an icebreaker to help Brooklyn biographer David Stabler DIAGNOSING shy cousins put away the screens and has penned a collection of inspiring PANDAS interact with each other this Thanksgiv- “true tales” drawn from 16 renowned Long Island ing, check out Mattel Games’s scavenger writers’ childhoods that just might in- City museums offer hunt card game, Card ‘N’ Go Seek. Fun spire budding authors to put pen to access & Westchester/Rockland for kids ages 7 and older, this game can paper, too. programs even be enjoyed by younger kids who Kudos for kids Each chapter have a designated reader. The deck has of “Kid Authors: For more information about distribution green, blue, and orange cards, and the Kudo Banz are a wearable, mobile re- True Tales of winner is the first player to get one of ward system that can be used to rein- Childhood from 150+ or how to get your free copy, each color — or three of the same color. force good behavior whether you and your Famous Writers” resources please e-mail us at [email protected]. The cards describe a type of item the unruly tot are in the supermarket or at (Quirk Books) players must find. The home, attempting toilet training or getting is devoted to dealer puts a number ready for school. The Kudos are attachable a single scribe Visit us online at Spring–Summer 2016 of cards on the table charms that the parent adds to the child’s — from the re- WESTCHESTER/ROCKLAND FREE that is one less than rubber wristband each time they achieve cently famed the number of players, the sought-after behavior. When the child Jeff Kinney SPECIAL CHILD www.NYParenting.com like musical chairs. The earns his third Kudo, he scans it with the (“Diary of a www.NYParenting.com players count to three, free app, and watches as the charm — em- Wimpy Kid”) to Mark Advocating Like us on our Facebook page, NYParenting then make a break for bedded with an AR code — unlocks their Twain (“The Adventures of Huckleberry for your child it. Speed helps. The first customized reward wheel, so the child can Finn”). or follow us on Twitter player to get back with earn an easy — yet special — perk like “Kid Authors” is sure to be a a rivet- The stigma the correct object — extra time outside or an additional story ing read for ages 8 to 12 — and anyone of medication or animal — wins the at bedtime. that loves children’s literature. To advertise your business and or services matching card. There are some addi- The starter pack includes: two wrist- The color illustrations by Doogie habits for tional rules to keep the game interest- bands; six Kudo charms (four stars and Horner add humor to the entertaining effective contact us at 718-260-4554 ing, and there’s lots of room for negotia- two scannable charms; “The Adventures book. And even if a “Kid Authors” reader parenting 7 tion when bringing back a grandmother of Drago and George” book; and a carrying doesn’t feel compelled to pen the next or e-mail us at [email protected] to match a card that says “sparkles” or pouch for the charms and bands. “Anne of Green Gables” — like featured Recognizing auditory issues a spoonful of mashed potatoes to match Recommended for kids ages 3 to 10, the novelist Lucy Maud Montgomery — she “bumpy texture.” When the whole clan Kudo Banz set rewards kids for conducting will certainly be spurred to seek out the New York Parenting/CNG is laughing and talking, all the players themselves well, and helps parents replace books written by these former kids. 150+ 1 MetroTech Center North - 10th Fl. • Brooklyn, NY 11201 will feel like winners. yelling and time-outs with encouragement. “Kid Authors: True Tales of Childhood resources Card ‘N’ Go Seek card game, $7.99, Kudo Banz Starter Pack, $29.95, www.ku- from Famous Writers” book by David Sta- 718-260-4554 • [email protected] www.walmart.com. dobanz.com. bler, $13.95, www.amazon.com. �rooklyn: home of coney island, the brooklyn bridge, and now newyork-presbyterian brooklyn methodist hospital.

We’re bringing the people of Brooklyn the type of care that comes from being part of NewYork-Presbyterian. We’ve expanded our services and added more world-class specialists from Weill Cornell Medicine. They join the skilled doctors already here serving the community. Learn more at nyp.org/brooklyn