Lesson 12 Dealing with Loss and Grief
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Dealing with Loss and Grief • I will cope with loss and grief in healthful ways. here are times in life when you have no control over events that occur. Something may end before you are ready for it to end. TSomething may happen to someone you know or to you. Although 12 you might not control the event, you can control the response to the event. What You’ll Learn This lesson focuses on loss and grief. You will learn 1. Identify causes of loss and causes of loss and grief that teens might experience. grief. (p. 123) You will learn about the five stages of loss and 2. Identify symptoms of loss and grief. You also will learn how to res- grief. (p. 124) pond to loss and grief in a 3. Identify the five stages of loss healthful way. and grief. (p. 124) 4. Discuss healthful ways to respond when someone close to you is dying. (p. 126) 5. Discuss healthful ways to respond when someone you know is grieving a loss. (p. 126) 6. Discuss healthful ways to respond when you are grieving a loss. (p. 128) Why It’s Important No one goes through life without experiencing loss. But, loss is an opportunity to respond by being caring and compassionate. It is an opportunity for each of us to reach out to one another. k Key Terms • loss • grief • anticipatory grief • out-of-order death • invincible • empathy Writing About Grief Suppose that your friend’s sister just died in a • five stages of loss and grief car accident. Your friend does not want to talk to anyone about it. In fact, she pretends it never happened. Your friend’s mother is concerned about her, because she does not sleep more than a few hours each night. Your friend is constantly doing something to keep herself busy. After reading the information about dealing with a loss on page 126, write a response to this situation in your health journal. 122 UNIT 2 • Mental and Emotional Health Matt Meadows he feeling that occurs when someone dies or a life situation changes or ends is loss. Intense emotional suffering caused by a loss, disaster, or misfortune is grief. TGrief experienced prior to a loss is anticipatory grief. It is the feelings a person has when he or she knows someone or something that is cherished or valued is about to die or change. No one goes through life without experiencing loss and grief. What to Know About Loss and Grief become homeless or live in a shelter. Causes of Loss and Grief Make the Teens experience loss when these Connection The causes of loss and grief include a events take place. They grieve these change in the family, changes in liv- losses. They might feel angry and Suicide For more ing conditions, the death of a friend, depressed. Homelessness and information on suicide, see page 114 suicide, the death of a well-known poverty are major risk factors for in Lesson 11. person, tragedies in the news, and teen depression. the loss of special belongings. Changes in the family Some family Death of a friend The death of a changes that cause feelings of loss friend is very traumatic. It is espe- and grief might include: death of a cially difficult when the friend is family member, divorce of parents, someone your age or younger. Out- serious or terminal illness, or death of-order death is the death of a per- of a family pet. son that occurs at an unexpected time in his or her life cycle. Out-of- Changes in living conditions A change order death is traumatic. You grieve in living conditions can trigger feel- the loss of a friend and at the same ings of loss and grief. A family mem- time realize that you are not invinci- ber might lose a job or temporarily ble. To view oneself as incapable of be laid off. The company the person being harmed is to think you are worked for might close. There might invincible. If a teen dies in an auto- be changes in economic conditions mobile accident or from a terminal locally or nationally. As a result, a illness, then you realize that this family’s lifestyle might change. A could happen to you. You come face- family may go from having an income to-face with your own mortality. that allowed them to live comfortably to being strained financially. They Suicide A suicide is the intentional may no longer be able to afford their taking of one’s own life. When a sui- house payments, and may have to cide or several suicides (known as move into a smaller house or an cluster suicides) occur, it is especially apartment. In severe situations, a difficult for someone your age. You family might be evicted from their might wonder if you could have done house, apartment, or trailer, and may anything to prevent the suicide(s). healthmh.com/loss LESSON 12 • Dealing with Loss and Grief 123 Photodisc/Getty Images You might feel guilty because you are Empathy is the ability to share in still alive. You might become angry another person’s emotions or feelings. because someone about whom you Your empathy for others can cause cared made this choice. You might you to experience loss and grief. Holidays Feelings of feel sad and depressed. Most commu- loss and grief can The end of something special Did you nities and schools offer counseling intensify during know that you also might experience when teen suicide occurs. Teens need holidays. loss and grief when something ends? to talk through their feelings of grief. For example, one day you will gradu- Death of a well-known person Most ate from high school. This will end a likely, you have seen the reaction of period of your life that has been the public to the death of a well- special. Even though you look for- known person. This might be a politi- ward to your future, you may have cian, actress, actor, sports figure, or feelings of grief and loss. You are sad other person that the public has that you are leaving your school and grown to know and love. Even though your friends. Your parents or you do not know someone personally, guardian might experience a similar you might experience loss or grief loss when you move away from home. when a person dies. You imagine They experience emptiness because what it might be like to be a family you are not there. They long for the member of the person. You feel their days when you lived together and sense of grief and loss. shared daily events. Yet, they look forward to sharing new opportunities Tragedies in the news Most likely, with you. you watched the extensive news cov- Mini-Review erage of the tragedies that occurred 1. What is on September 11, 2001. You might The Five Stages of Loss anticipatory grief? have watched news coverage of wars, and Grief murders, terrorist bombings, torna- 2. What are three What happens when teens experi- causes of loss does, floods, or earthquakes. These and grief? events can trigger feelings of loss and ence loss and grief? Teens will expe- rience a variety of emotions that 3. What are the five grief. You value human life and are must be worked through before they stages of loss saddened when life and property are and grief? lost. You have empathy for people can accept what has happened who are affected by loss or death. to them. The five stages of loss and grief are psychological stages of grieving that include denial, anger, bargain- Symptoms of Loss and Grief ing, depression, and acceptance. Refer to page 109 in Lesson 11 for Symptoms of loss and grief include the following: definitions of the stages. • numbness • shortness of breath The amount of time you might • shock • confusion spend in each stage of loss and grief • loss of appetite • crying spells will vary. You might backslide. For • intestinal upsets • moodiness example, you might work through • sleep disturbances • outbursts of anger your feelings and gain acceptance, • loss of energy • depression only to backslide to feeling depressed. 124 UNIT 2 • Mental and Emotional Health Or you might skip one stage and Drug and Alcohol Use and move to the next stage. Some teens get stuck in one of the five stages of Loss and Grief loss and grief. Teens who become stuck in one of the five stages of loss When a person suffers a loss, whether it is the death of a close and grief usually need help. These friend or a move to a new location, he or she will commonly have teens are unable to deal with the loss feelings of grief. on their own. Therapists can help Some people might self-medicate in an attempt to feel better or to teens work through their feelings. escape the feelings of grief. Using alcohol or other drugs as a Dealing with a terminal illness The coping mechanism for feelings of grief is not a solution. Although five-step grieving process can be these substances might produce a temporary feeling of relief, these illustrated by the example of people substances will not help a person get through the grieving process. with terminal illnesses. If people are The feelings of grief remain after the effects of the drugs have worn told by a doctor that they have a ter- off. In many cases, these substances actually may make a person feel worse, emotionally and physically, after their use.