First Class U.S. A Non-Fiction Newspaper The Gazette Postage Paid Portsmouth, N.H. Vol. CCLVIII, No. 26 The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle Permit No. 75 Address Service Requested September 19, 2014 PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 • [email protected] • www.nhgazette.com

Th e Fortnightly Rant "A Phony from " Th e nation’s plutocrats have a having recently introduced a voter huge task ahead of them. to Brown. For decades now America’s “I always thought Scott was politically-engaged wealthy have kind of a phony from Massachu- been making vague and perhaps setts,” the voter told Sununu. But dubious claims that their eye- after meeting him, he’d changed popping incomes are fairly based his mind. on their subtle yet majestic mana- “Th at guy was … he’s not … gerial skills. he’s a phony from New Hamp- Over the next 45 days, those al- shire that just happened to live in leged skills — and, of course, their Massachusetts for a little while.” very real and apparently limitless Wrapping up his remarks, our millions — will be put to the test. Executive Councilor handed the Can they turn into mike over to the man he called a Senator from New Hampshire? “the ass-kicking Scott Brown.” Th ey must relish a challenge — Th e Matchup or maybe they’re just desperate. In order to win, Brown will have High Stakes, Low Comedy to unseat an incumbent who’s in Th e stakes could be higher, but the habit of winning. not by much. Th e White House After serving two terms in the is out of play this November, and New Hampshire Senate, Jeanne the House of Representatives Shaheen won election as the fetching; he wore them on a fi rst Health Care for America Act, silly truck north this Spring, he might as well be. But the Senate state’s fi rst female Governor in date once — with Gail Huff , now thus killing off any chance for a inexplicably revived that theme in could change hands — and it’s 1996. She won her third term in his wife of 32 years. government-run health insurance an interview: “Do I have the best balanced on a knife’s edge. that offi ce without taking “the No Public Option For You agency, or “public option.” credentials?” he asked rhetorically. One of the world’s mightiest pledge” against broad-based taxes Th roughout his 46 years in Tough Primary “Probably not. ’Cause, you know, levers of power is almost within — a feat that had not been ac- the U.S. Senate, Ted Kennedy’s Th is primary campaign has whatever.” reach. If Republicans can grab it complished since 1962. dream had been to make health been tough for Brown, but not Once a professed believer in they can bring the world’s one- After fi ve straight electoral care available to every American. because of the competition. His anthropogenic climate change, and-only Indispensible Nation™, wins, Shaheen ran for the Sen- After his death in 2009, a special worst enemy has been himself. he’s now regressed to denial; after Exceptional® from coast to coast, ate in 2002 but narrowly lost to election was held to fi ll out the re- Lumbering old Bob Smith had grandstanding on his two weeks to a grinding and deeply satisfy- John E. Sununu — quite possibly mainder of his fi nal term. his die-hard supporters, but no- of National Guard training in ing halt. President Obama might because the Executive Director of While campaigning for Kenne- where near enough to win. Jim Afghanistan, he was castigated by as well don an orange jump suit the New Hampshire Republican dy’s old seat, Brown said “I could Rubens gave too many Republi- veterans; he accepted a $127,000 and go to Guantanamo where he Party hired cyber-goons to block be the 41st senator that could stop cans the willies; he had, you know fee from a company profi ting from belongs. the phones of the Democratic the Obama [health care reform] … ideas. the exportation of jobs, and hid in Naturally, under these circum- get-out-the-vote eff ort. proposal that’s being pushed right Even so, Smith and Rubens, and a bathroom to avoid a reporter. stances, all eyes were on Chris- Centerfold Notes now through Congress.” seven lesser-known candidates,, But despitep his gaff es, un- topher T. Sununu, Executive Shaheen’s challenger has chalk- Brown’s opponent Martha drew 58,720 votes amongst them.em. seemlyseemly revelations, and just Councilor for this District, as he ed up some wins of his own, Coakley ran an awful, lackluster Smith, the Establishment-ap-- plplainai weird hijinks, he introduced Scott Brown at a rally though in a diff erent arena. He campaign. He doesn’t deserve proved candidate, barely ekedd wawas recently endorsed at Harbour Place on the eve of won Cosmopolitan’s “America’s credit for winning so much as out 124 more than that. bby John H. Sununu the Primary Election. Sexiest Man” contest in 1982. His she deserves blame for losing. As How has Brown run his cam-m- aand Judd Gregg [see “I’m a Sununu,” said Sununu, centerfold spread — nude but coy promised, Brown’s election gave paign off the rails? Let us countt iinset, left]. displaying his hereditary charm, — started him on “a long, lucra- Senate Minority Leader Mitch the ways … BBrown swooped into “so I get to hog the microphone tive … career” with Wilhelmina McConnell the one additional A year before he announced his the state with a classic for a minute.” Models, the perks of which in- vote he needed to fi libuster bills in candidacy he sent a famous series Republican attitude: “Th is looks From that inauspicious start, cluded, according to Th e New York the Senate. By taking Kennedy’s of seemingly inebriated Tweets, like mine; I’ll take it.” With any things went rapidly downhill. Su- Times, a pair of pink leather shorts seat, Brown sounded the death culminating in the immortal luck we’ll soon see his tail lights, nunu related an anecdote about worth $750. Th ey must have been knell for the House’s Aff ordable “Bqwhatevwr.” After driving his receding into the distance.

Th e Alleged News It Ain’t Easy, Defeating an Abstract Noun Th e nation’s newer news media Unfortunately, several equally Bin Laden hated America be- spent him by a ratio of six million Wars have always had a way of fi red up their mighty Wurlitzers relevant questions about terror in cause we backed Israel, occupied to one. advancing technology, assuming last week and subjected their the Middle East and our response Saudi Arabia, and sanctioned By reacting as bin Laden ex- you’re willing to accept increased viewers to the thirteenth annual to it had to go unacknowledged Iraq. So, he attacked New York pected and then some, we allowed lethality as progress; but during set of solemn televised rituals sup- due to genuine but intangible with the intent of luring us into him to cause us to infl ict more the 21.5 nation-years we’ve spent posedly refl ecting on the tragic constraints imposed upon the war in Afghanistan, the graveyard damage on our own economy and fi ghting two anti-terror wars events of September 11, 2001. presenters by their respective em- of empires. national debt than anyone in re- since 2001, our armed drones Coverage of this year’s pi- ployers and by the customs of the But we didn’t just attack Af- cent decades — except, of course, have become real marvels: these ous display was almost certainly trade. ghanistan. We’re Americans. We our own bankers and mortgage new tools can manufacture new amped up in response to videos For example, no one seems to doubled down and invaded Iraq companies. enemies even as they’re killing the posted online showing the re- have asked whether our course too. Our combined death toll in During the Great War — the old ones. cent beheadings of James Foley of action since 2001 has done the those wars has been twice that of war that was going to end all wars, Th anks to the Talibans’ draconi- and Steven Sotloff . It’s enough to nation any good. September 11th. 100 years ago — pacifi sts used to an system of justice, Afghanistan’s make one wonder — are ISIL’s ji- Are we in charge of our own Bin Laden got us into two say that a bayonet was a tool with 2001 poppy crop was negligible. hadis now programming our pro- foreign policy, or is that in the wars for the price of one, but that a worker at each end. Th ings are Th is year, poppy cultivation there grammers? hands of ISIL, too? doesn’t do justice to his frugal- a lot diff erent now, or so we like is up by 36 percent over 2012, Th e relevant video clips were Worse yet, did we turn our for- ity — or is it our profl igacy? Th e to think. We’ve become less will- while opium seizures are down by acknowledged but, of course, eign policy over to Osama bin 9/11 attacks cost him about half a ing to accept casualties, and more 57 percent. Eighty percent of the never broadcast. Finally: a policy Laden in the confusion following million dollars. Our response has willing to invest in killing ma- upon which all Americans may 9/11? Would things be much dif- cost us, according to the National chines; either that or no one dares Th e Alleged News agree. ferent if we had? Journal, about $3 trillion. We out- cut our defense budget. to page two Page 2 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Friday, September 19, 2014

Th e Alleged News Th ey picked up where bin from page one Laden left off , curtailing our civil liberties in unprecedented world’s opium now comes from ways. Now heavily-armed SWAT Afghanistan. teams abound from coast to coast.

Opium now supplies one-third When police can’t fi nd a suspect, Woodman Dan by 2014 © of the Talibans’ budget. We could they now feel free to order tens mock them for their hypocrisy, of thousands of citizens not to but at what risk to ourselves, their leave their homes. (Th is raises the best customers? question of whether it’s now il- George W. Bush claimed that legal to lose your home through bin Laden hated us “for our free- foreclosure, but that’s a matter for dom,” but Bin Laden never put another day.) it quite like that. He did say he Our current President, elected despised our separation of church in large part because he voted and state, putting himself squarely against the Iraq War, is the fourth in the camp of a lot of American in a row to have bombed in Iraq, politicians. and the only Nobel Peace Prize Bin Laden built the force that winner to have been at war his attacked us around rigid adher- entire term. Now he’s cautiously ence to the most extreme and declaring war-lite on a Caliph- perverse strain of Islam. Bush ate — something thought to have responded by rallying our loud- died in 1924. est, dumbest, most fearful public But that’s not enough for Sen. servants, many of whom adhere Lindsey Graham [R-SC]. Not to the most extreme and perverse even close. He wants “a substan- strain of Christianity. tial American component” on the gound in Syria. include the Saudi Princes Al-Wa- of America [as they “Th is is a turning point in the leed bin Talal (Fox News’ second- read it in their own idiosyncratic War on Terror,” he barked on Fox largest shareholder after Rupert way]. We already have hundreds News last Sunday. “Th e president Murdoch), and Bandar bin Sultan of police, sheriff s, and other offi - needs to rise to the occasion be- (nicknamed “Bandar Bush,” and cials who have expressed a desire fore we all get killed back here at famously photographed holding to be a part of this Holy Cause of home.” Which is pretty feisty talk hands with President George W. Liberty.” [Emphasis added.] for a guy with his background. Bush on his faux-ranch in Texas). Delemus handily won the pri- As the ever-handy Wikipedia We’d watch the hell out of that. mary with 5,610 votes. David reminds us, “in 1998, according Miscellaneous Electoral Tidbits Dubois, the Democratic incum- to the Congressional daily news- It’s offi cial: Straff ord County bent, got 119 Republican write- paper Th e Hill, Graham was de- Republicans have made Jerry ins and swept his own primary. scribing himself on his website as Delemus their candidate for In 2012, Dubois beat the Repub- an Operation Desert Shield and Sheriff . What are the odds he’ll lican candidate, 31,509 votes to Desert Storm veteran. In real- win? Who knows? But it’s a race 25,982. ity, he never left South Carolina. well worth watching. It’s as if Frank “I’ll Shoot Graham responded ‘I have not Delemus was formerly (and Doctors Who Perform Abor- told anybody I’m a combatant … very briefl y) head of security tions” Szabo had returned from Wayne Bowlen assists local journalists Dan Tuohy and Jen Stevens, unof- I’m not a war hero, and never said for freeloading Nevada rancher Paraguay — but this time with a fi cially covering the re-opening of the Rusty Hammer on Friday, September I was. I never intended to lie. If Cliven Bundy. He has vowed, if chance of winning. 12th. Th e sharp-eyed Stevens noted that the downsized tavern no longer I have lied about my military re- elected, to sign up with Richard Meanwhile, in Rochester, a lib- features the capacious bench formerly used to display free publications. It does, cord, I’m not fi t to serve in Con- Mack’s Constitutional Sheriff s ertarian formerly known as David however, have a superb new hammer, seen here behind Bowlen, fi tted with, gress ….’” and Peace Offi cers Association. Montenegro lost a State Rep. pri- by our count, taps for 32 diff erent beers. If only Fox News were to ask us Th at outfi t’s website says its “plan mary to Democratic incumbent — the nation’s most-senior news … goal and … quest” is to “unite Rose Marie Rogers, 181 to 30. organization — for our advice. all public servants and sheriff s, to In 2012, Montenegro won the We’d suggest that it sponsor a keep their word to uphold, de- legal right to change his name to round table discussion, hosted by fend, protect, preserve, and obey “human.” Earlier this year the li- Stephen Colbert. Guests would the Constitutions [sic] of the tigious geek went to court again,

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At What Cost? plate that reads, “COPSLIE.” After several false starts and Th e AP reported on his loss a lot of squabbling, this time it September 9th with a story that might actually happen; the City began, “Human’s race ended in is talking with the owners of the defeat.” lot next to the rail yard, with an Keep Portsmouth Riled Up eye to building a second parking Th anks in no small part to the garage. ham-fi sted reportage of the Award- As possible locations go, it’s got Winning Local Daily, which can’t fewer drawbacks than most oth- tell art from a bad muffl er, Ports- ers that have been considered. mouth residents will soon be Someone has to ask, though, treated to some free Shakespeare and apparently that someone is — with a surrealistic twist. us: what about Gary’s? Th e Seven Stages Shakespeare Th e case could be made that Company has announced, in a let- Gary’s Beverage is the best beer ter to the Portsmouth City Coun- store in town. Yes, it’s gritty; and cil dated September 15th, that yes, it’s funky … as we just said this coming Sunday it will put on — it’s the best beer store in town. a reading of Shakespeare’s Corio- Th e selection is wide, the beer is lanus in Market Square — “a play cold, and the prices are good. You touching upon the importance of can even pick up a copy of this civil dialogue between the people newspaper there. and their leadership….” Th ere is no doubt that it would Now, there’s an understatement be good for the City to have a sec- for the ages. Ralph Fiennes’ 2011 ond parking garage. It would be cinematic production of the fa- even better to have an end to the mously bloody play about a des- squabbling over a second parking potic would-be ruler and a rebel- garage. But losing Gary’s would garage? Either that or build a new Th ose Buckets on the Bridge we’re told, of chewing gum mixed lious mob required the lavish use be a damn shame. So, we off er a parking garage that leaves Gary’s Perspicacious Portsmouthians with honey. of armored vehicles, automatic modest proposal. Th e State has a intact — like the way the pres- and curious Kitterians walking Th e grease, though very sticky, weapons, and explosives. longstanding custom of building ent garage wraps around Gilley’s. across the New Memorial Bridge is still semi-liquid; it gradually Th ere won’t be any nonsense liquor stores along the Interstate. Maybe the HDC could help with have probably noticed a recent runs down the vertical rail. Left about too much noise, though, Why shouldn’t the City build a that. All we ask is a small brass addition. On each of the bridge’s to its own devices it would make a because this will just be a reading. beer store next to the new parking plaque giving credit where it’s due. four towers, just about at eye level, big mess. For most of the bridge’s A very quiet reading — the hangs a bucket; a sturdy, shiny fi rst year of operation the excess Company promises that “we will bucket — full of holes. grease was contained by a rag held whisper the entire production and What’s up with that? in place by a spring clamp. [See in- request complete silence from the When you’re building a bridge set at upper left in photo.] audience in the fi rst (and hopeful- incorporating a pair of 1.25 mil- At some point during the sum- ly last) installment of what we’re lion-pound counterweights, you mer a more elegant solution was calling ‘Shhhhhhhakespeare.’ Th is can’t just let things dangle freely. developed and installed. Th e drip- event is open to and free for all.” Who knows what they might do ping grease is still caught in a rag, Lest any reader think we’re in the case of a hurricane? So, un- but the rag now sits in the bottom overstating the AWLD’s role in wanted lateral movement of the of a spiff y stainless steel bucket this delightful farce, we quote counterweights is kept in check which hangs from a clevis pin at again from the Company’s letter: by vertical, rail-like gizmos called the bottom end of the counter- “Th e tipping point for us was counterweight rail guides. weight rail guide. Th e holes are the following quote, which ap- To prevent unpleasant screech- there to let out rainwater. peared in a Letter to the Editor at ing noises as the bridge is raised Jennifer Zorn, who is in charge Seacoastonline: ‘Art for art’s sake and lowered, not to mention pre- of answering weird questions belongs in a gallery with a door. mature wear of the parts, the rail about the bridge, tells us that un- It does not belong in the heart of guides are generously slathered less some better solution arises, the city where anyone can be un- once a month with a carefully- the buckets are probably there to wittingly subjected to something Th e New Memorial Bridge has a bucket. In fact, it has four buckets. And all chosen lubricant; in this case, a stay — practical and utilitarian, horrifying.’” those buckets have got holes in them. Why? Th e Gazette has the answers. grease which has the consistency, like a sap bucket on a maple tree. Page 4 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Friday, September 19, 2014

Constitutional rights. tiple successful businesses in New Th e special interests and Wash- Hampshire. He will bring the Hate Mail, ington establishment already have skills to governing our state that Mash Notes, too much power. Th e people need he used to be successful in busi- Proulx Denounces Guinta have pointed out to him, he and a Senator who represents them, ness: listening, assessing, team- To the Editor: his fellow Nader supporters had on September 9th, vote for Bob work, high technology, &c. What a great choice Repub- voted against W then we would Smith. By starting and operating his licans have in the September perhaps have been spared the un- Don Ewing own businesses in New Hamp- 9th primary to see who takes on relenting hell we fi nd ourselves in Meredith, NH shire, Hemingway learned why Shea-Porter. Frank Guinta still these days. Don: our economy is stagnant and hasn’t explained his mystery mon- Yes, I do blame W for all this. I You say Scott Brown would be a the changes needed to get our ey (the FEC is still investigat- know our current president is an lousy Senator — Amen! We have economy growing to provide job ing!) and his weird new business incompetent boob but the seeds found common ground at last, opportunities for our 32,000 un- dealings that were highlighted of the looming disaster(s) most [Several of the letters we’re pub- though we came by divergent routes. employed (about 7,200 more than in a news article by Dan Tuohy, of the world faces at the moment lishing this fortnight were written You say it is because he would vote when the recession began) and for published in the New Hampshire were sown by the deplorable 8 in advance of the September 9th like Senator Shaheen rather than our graduating students. Union Leader on August 16th, years of the absolutely worst presi- Primary Election. Somewhat to our Senator Ayotte; there, we believe With a growing young fam- headlined “Fomer Manchester dent one could ever imagine. Hell, surprise, that seems to have made you’ve got it exactly backwards. ily, Hemingway is also focused mayor Frank Guinta vague on give me Cthulhu over George W. them more relevant, rather than less. Your devotion to Bob Smith is on education to ensure that each details about his consulting busi- Bush and his unrepentant, evil — Th e Ed.] wholely in keeping with his candi- New Hampshire child has the ness.” puppet master Dick Cheney any Ewing Denounces Brown dacy: sincere, yet delusional. opportunity for a great education. Guinta denies there is climate day. To the Editor: We share your antipathy for special Hemingway is not beholden to change and has a list of govern- My point? Well here it is. I Why would Republicans want interests, with the caveat that your the special interests or political ment agencies to close, including think Brian was right. Really. Scott Brown in the Senate? defi nition and ours would almost establishment, he is only behold- the IRS and the Department of Th is coming presidential election Brown’s Senate voting record certainly clash, perhaps violently. en to the people. Hemingway will Education. I will not vote for Hillary Clin- went from fair to poor to bad. We trust that in November you will put what is best for the people Dan Innis, a business profes- ton. I refuse to vote for anyone In 2012 Brown voted more like stick to your guns and decline to vote of New Hampshire ahead of all sor at our state university, still who was for the Iraq war. I knew Senator Shaheen than Senator for Brown. other considerations. hasn’t explained how, if he got his it would be a disaster, hell anyone Ayotte on key issues. Th e Editor It is time to break the cycle of wish to close the Department of with half a brain and the ability Senator Brown voted against § politicians being selected by and Education and the IRS, we could to go to the damned library and the ban on insider trading for Ewing Denounces Havenstein beholden to the special interests actually work on education chal- do simple research would have members of Congress, against To the Editor: and political establishments. It is lenges and pay the bills to keep known that. And if you couldn’t domestic energy production, for Do you ever wonder how some time to make New Hampshire’s the country running. have seen that, than you will never energy subsidies, against eff orts to candidates can put signs on every government work for the people. Sad choice. I urge moderate get my vote. And I can never, ever stop government fraud and waste, street corner, fl ood the airways Vote for Andrew Hemingway Republicans to vote for Carol vote for a Republican again. Th e for Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac with advertisements, and fi ll your for Governor on September 9th. Shea-Porter, who has a proven Republican Party is full of nutters bailouts, and subsidies for mort- mailbox with their ads? Th e spe- Don Ewing track record and works with oth- who think the world is fl at and/or gages over $700,000. He consis- cial interests and political estab- Meredith, NH ers, unlike these two extremists, is full of foot soldiers for the mili- tently votes to restrict our Second lishments are richly funding their Don: whose statements prove they are tary/industrial/Koch complex. Amendment rights. Scott Brown’s chosen candidates. Do you be- Frankly, compared to your anti- right-wing teapartiers. So I too will vote for Ralph Na- votes don’t benefi t the American lieve that the special interests and Brown letter, this one is a little dis- Charles Proulx der this next election. Or maybe people. political establishments are fund- appointing. You left so much rich, Raymond, NH Bernie Sanders. But the special interests are very ing these candidates because they raw, pungent anti-Havenstein ma- § Robert “Wheel Gun Bob” Ford happy to fund Brown’s campaign. expect these candidates to put the terial on the table while attempting Ford Denounces Hillary Portsmouth, NH Th e special interests will win, and interests of the people ahead of to build a pro-Hemingway argu- To the Editor: § the people lose, if voters must their interests? ment out of dross. I have this friend named Brian. Israel & Palestine, Round ∞(a) choose between Scott Brown and For example, there are two main Havenstein’s not just a tool of the And people do not get much bet- To the Editor: Senator Shaheen in November. candidates in the the primary special interests and the establish- ter than Brian. Th oughtful, smart, Kudos to the editor for the guts Because of his long record of race for Governor, Walt Haven- ment; he’s a tax-dodging out-of- honest, creative and a good musi- to print my letter disagreeing fi ghting for small, Constitutional- stein and Andrew Hemingway. stater who was recruited by them. cian to boot. Was in my band for with him on Israel and Palestine ly limited government, Bob Smith Havenstein’s signs, mailings, and What’s more, their selection of him a while. Well, he did something in which I passionately took issue can be trusted to do so again. He advertisements are everywhere, he amounts to a confession that they’re that really, really pissed me off against a two state solution. He supports a balanced budget, en- has raised about 20 times as much desperately scratching on the ground once. Many years ago, he voted said it was viable but that Israel forcement of immigration laws, money as Andrew Hemingway. where the bottom of the barrel used for Ralph Nader in an election was the drawback. He didn’t say tax reform, repeal of Obamacare, Hemingway is a tech savvy en- to be. that resulted in George W. Bush why, nor did he give even the bar- government integrity, and all our trepreneur who has started mul- Th e Editor becoming president. And if, as I est critique of my stance.

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tion that careful Israeli defensive to practical paeans praising the And Other Correspondence actions are “genocide.” Genocide Prince of Peace. It was Christians is “the systematic and widespread who taught Muslims “conversion In a comment to another sup- Middle East. Israel has no oil or extermination or attempted ex- or the sword.” Now that lesson porter of Israel, he said the next valuable mineral deposits as the termination of an entire national, is being replayed, and Western letter was written by an “expert” others do. Only vile hatred can ex- racial, religious, or ethnic group.” leaders pretend to be horrifi ed. who presumably would set the plain why they want Jews off the No such action has ever been Th ree beheaded Westerners have table straight. An expert in what, scrap of land. What do the Israeli engaged in by Israel, though the produced far more self-righteous pray tell? bashers not understand about the various Arab terrorists and indeed indignation than hundreds of Although the back and forth right of self-defense? many other Mohammedan gov- thousands killed by Muslims dialogue on this topic has become Unsubstantiated letters, col- ernment operations could be ac- throughout Africa and the Mid- long in the teeth, with points of umns and editorial comments, curately so described. dle East. Th e simple reality is view at polar opposites, someone which are both false and incendi- Th e Arabs were killing Jews that Mohammedans just haven’t must be terribly wrong, Th e fol- ary, should not be showcased by in Palestine and throughout the adopted Enlightenment values Republicans: Read Your Bible lowing may shed some light: I any responsible media. Islamic world long before there yet, so they kill for prophetic per- To the Editor: will never forget a woman who Th e foregoing material could was an Israel. Phony justifi ca- petuation rather than mere profi t Apparently Republicans don’t I saw as a mental health profes- open up an honest dialogue, but tions aside, this confl ict, among potential, which is what blood- read the Bible, or if they do, they sional. Her parents were sexually as Louie Armstrong vocalized, the region’s many, is about Arab/ thirsty Western nationalism has don’t apply what they read. To- abusing her as a child. At 13 she “When the rain turns to snow Mohammedan supremacist phi- devolved into. day’s Bible lesson will be on basic summoned the courage to report and it’s forty below, then I’ll come losophy and their theological ir- Entire industries have been es- macroeconomics and governing. them and was removed from the back to you, baby … “ It ain’t goin ridentism. When the UN tried to tablished to deceptively fl og the Please open your Bibles to Gen- home. Tragically, the court re- to happen. Th e lines are too deep: stem the Arab-initiated violence Arab war. Benny Morris, cited by esis, Chapter 41. united her with her family nine the prejudices too fi xed. by proposing “two nations, one Carine, provides a great example Here’s the scenario: the Jewish months later … whereupon they Going off half-cocked is a big Jewish, one Arab,” seven Arab of the fi ctionalization of history people are in captivity in Egypt. erected a tombstone in the yard thing that ails America. nations attacked nascent Israel. in service of Arab aggression. His Th e Pharaoh has a dream: he bearing her name. Th ey talked Michael Kulla When this fi rst eff ort at extermi- earlier work is now mostly dis- sees seven fat cows, followed by about her but never to her. She Pleasant Valley, NY nation failed (at enormous cost, credited by real scholarship, and seven skinny and gaunt cows. was to pay a terrible price for the § with one percent of Israelis dead), even repudiated by the author’s Th e seven gaunt cows eat up the deconstruction of self by denying Israel & Palestine, Round ∞(b) Arabs repeatedly re-attacked, own embarrassed reconsidera- seven fat cows. He has a second her right to exist. To the Editor: sometimes formally, often infor- tions. Th en there is fauxtography. dream, where he saw seven ears Is the Palestinian call for an Your reference to “Israel’s agen- mally. Israel couldn’t negotiate a Pallywood. Staged incidents. Fab- of grain, fat and healthy, growing apartheid state by objecting to cy” in the absence of Middle East peace treaty with anyone — Arab ricated events. Entire media de- on a single stalk. Behind them any Jewish presence — existence peace is disturbing, as too is your leaders who so advocated were as- voted to amplifying the false but sprouted seven ears of grain, thin — any diff erent? notion that it is Israel who will sassinated — until the recent for- sympathetic Palestinian narrative. and blasted by the east wind. Th e It is ridiculous to call Israel an not allow peace in the violent im- malities with Egypt and Jordan. Such carefully produced decep- seven thin ears swallow up the apartheid state. Arabs make up broglio of Mohammedan interac- Even that is functionally tempo- tions are leading to a very misin- seven fat ears. Th en the Pharaoh 20 percent of the population with tions with the world. Despite your rary, since Egypt and Jordan con- formed Western public regarding woke up. full rights of citizenship; there is mumpsimus, it is not Israel who is tinue to teach their populations to the actual nature of the aggressor He could not understand these a signifi cant Christian presence, perpetuating this confl ict. hate and kill the Jews, as do many Arabs. dreams, so he asks his seers to and the Jewish population is a Carine cites a Saudi proposal other Mohammedan states. Th is Hamas’s Covenant (1988, Ar- interpret them. Th ey have no picture of diversity. In the West which was hardly a viable com- brainwashing begins even before ticle 7), citing ancient religious answer. Someone tells him there Bank under Israeli rule, Muslim promise, since if adopted it would grade school, is supplemented text, demands that Moslems kill is a young Jewish lad, Joseph by and Jewish villages coexist side by if have eliminated Israel under with antisemitic movies, TV all Jews. More than a century of name, who is reputed to be able side. the guise of purportedly off ering shows, public rallies, geographic eff orts to fulfi ll that ancient goal to interpret dreams. Th e Pharaoh After more than 2,000 years of peace. To more accurately repre- honorifi cs; it masquerades as in Palestine show that this is not sends for Joseph, and tells him of exile from their homeland, mod- sent the Arab position on a two news, is refl ected in preachments mere poetic blather. It is deliber- the two dreams. Joseph replies ern Israel was created by the Unit- state solution you need to refer- from the clerics, who might occa- ate, premeditated genocide. that the two dreams were issued ed Nations in 1947. At the same ence the Th ree No’s of Khartoum, sionally divert their congregants Richard Collier by God, and that both dreams are time they created an even larger issued in 1967 & never rescinded: briefl y from this particular focus Portsmouth, NH giving the same message: there Arab State in the area they share. “ … the main principles by which to incite the murder of members Richard: will be seven years of plenty, fol- Th e Arabs never accepted the idea the Arab States abide, namely, no of other faiths or of perceived Is it your position that the onus lowed by seven years of famine. of Jews on the land, and thus they peace with Israel, no recognition apostate Muslims. here is entirely on the Arabs, and He is being told this by God so fomented fi ve wars to drive them of Israel, no negotiations with it It wasn’t all that long ago that that Israel has never done wrong? that, as a wise Pharaoh, he can into the sea. Israel occupies 1 / … ” True-Believing Christians were Bravo for your use of mumpsi- 512th of the land the Arabs and Th en there was Dente’s absurd massacring other True-Believ- mus. More Hate Mail, &c. non-Arab Muslims occupy in the allegation, his repeated sugges- ing Christians while professing Th e Editor to page six

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Supporting Subscribers: Check the box at right if you want to pick up your own paper and save us the postage: “We’re worth the trip.” 9/23 - Patricia Leavy 9/23 - Carla Kaplan (at the Discover Portsmouth Center) 7HERE-EMORABLE-EALS#OME.ATURALLY Name Address Town/City/Burg State Zip Email 9/25 - Helen Peppe NOMATTERWHATDAYOFTHEWEEK : 9/28 - Dianne Fallon If the subscription above is a gift, please give us your address, too (at the Kittery Store) 9/29 - Robin Black Name Address Town/City/Burg State Zip Email 9/30 - Edward Larkin Mail this form to: New Hampshire Gazette, PO Box 756, Portsmouth, NH 03802 ,AFAYETTE0LAZA 2OUTE 0ORTSMOUTH  s-ON 3ATAM PM 3UNAM PM Page 6 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Friday, September 19, 2014

Northcountry Chronicle Collateral Damage by William Marvel idiot had probably hit a utility to accomplish anything without causes municipal expenses that tent with reckless driving. Yet if pole on the Brownfi eld Road. power. I asked if she had seen would otherwise have been un- he were convicted, I might fi le a round 9:45 Th ursday morning After a while, my wife headed the accident that had brought my necessary. He used the example claim with some optimism, except AI was starting back upstairs to for the outside shower to avail day’s work to a halt, but she had of the man trying to outrun the that I ultimately lost only a couple my offi ce when I heard the water herself of our collected rainwater not gone as far as the junction of police who knocked over a pole in of hours’ work, representing an pump in the cellar kick in and then on that chilly, dismal morning. I Brownfi eld Road, where speeders Center Conway, costing taxpayers amount that might be considered suddenly quit. At fi rst I was afraid started down Davis Hill Road on occasionally clip off the pole on hours of police manpower, cruiser a waste of court time. Besides, I the pump had burned out, as it foot, reasoning that if the police that sharp curve. When I reached use, and rescue services. I don’t almost caught up by working un- did about 15 years ago, but I was chose to careen down this nar- that intersection I was surprised remember that question being til 10:45 at night, which I often just wondering whether we might row dirt road that must mean the to fi nd no accident there, but I answered satisfactorily, and I de- do anyway. have lost electrical service when a Brownfi eld Road was blocked. did encounter a lost soul who cided that if my entire day’s work However, if anyone else lost piercing wail from my wife’s stu- Sure enough, a caravan of de- had been trying to get to Conway were lost because of someone’s something more valuable than dio confi rmed as much. I emitted a toured commuters and frustrated over the Gulf Road, and for a ride bad driving I would calculate how two hours’ work because of that somewhat profane lament myself, mall rats came started zooming back home I guided her over the much that day was worth and sue power outage, it would be nice to because we both needed electric- past before I reached my cousin’s hill. Having deadlines to meet, for it in small claims court. see at least one cowboy held per- ity to fi nish our respective tasks on house. I saw one speeding SUV including the one for my weekly Had it not been for quick work sonally accountable for inconve- time. For her it was more urgent, miss the turn at the foot of Davis column, I settled into something by Public Service, I might have niencing so many people. After all, because she also had to go to work, Hill and go tearing straight down approaching a seething rage, be- had a good, precedent-setting even the maximum fi ne wouldn’t and there was not an ounce of wa- the abandoned Henderson Road; cause Th ursday was the last day case, because police reports sug- cover the taxpayers’ cost for the ter pressure for her shower. for a few minutes I relished the I would have in nearly a week to gest that the guy who deprived us cops and rescue squad. We charge Th en Center Conway’s rescue thought of that misplaced subur- work on my main project. of electricity that day was driving negligent hikers, so why not irre- vehicle rolled by with its fl ashers banite bounding into the swamp Last year a neighbor of mine like a madman. Everyone is in- sponsible drivers? Someone who on. A little later came a racing that bisects that rutted old track, on the budget committee—one nocent until proven guilty, and must never have had a near-death police cruiser—the fi rst that has but eventually the SUV returned, who also lost electrical power witness testimony to his speed experience with a reckless driver ever passed this house with lights a lot slower. Th ursday—raised the question and illegal passing may be inac- told me I should be happy the fl ashing and siren blaring. With I met a neighbor out for a of who pays for “accidents” in curate, even though the physi- fellow didn’t kill himself. Why, I all that, I surmised that another walk. Like me, she was unable which gross personal negligence cal evidence is perfectly consis- wondered.

MoreMash Notes, Hate Mail, And Other Correspondence, from Page Five prepare Egypt for the seven years lesson: government economic ac- Biblical passage, or, if he did, he the economy. Classical Econom- range Republican strategy is to so of famine. tivity should be countercyclical: didn’t understand it as he frittered ics is essentially Eighteenth Cen- cripple the current governmental Accordingly, he makes Joseph building up budget surpluses dur- away the budget surpluses left to tury Economics. structure that a Constitutional responsible for preparing for the ing times of plenty via increases him by President Clinton. Like- Th e second lesson from this Convention would be needed, at famine, and essentially gives Jo- in taxes, and assisting people wise, current House and Sen- passage is that in order to get which time the would attempt to seph carte blanche. Joseph builds through times of recession or de- ate Republicans apparently have things done, a strong central return to a governmental form set granaries in which surpluses of pression with tax cuts and gov- never read the passage or if they government is necessary. Weak, up by the Articles. grain will be stored. Th e seven ernment spending. have, either don’t understand it or or weak and decentralized gov- Eugene McManus years of plenty arrive; Joseph fi lls Th is is not the ramblings of don’t care. ernment can never get anything Durham, NH and the granaries with grain. Th e sev- some Keynesian oriented Profes- Th e idea that government tax done. Th e American colonies Pictou, Nova Scotia en years of plenty are visited on sor of Economics at Princeton, policy should be contra cyclical learned this with their fi rst ef- § other countries, but apparently writing an opinion piece in the is straight from John Maynard fort at a government under the Talking Artie T. Doll they fritter their surpluses away. New York Times. For people who Keynes’ groundbreaking publica- Articles of Confederation. Th at To the Editor: Th e seven years of famine arrive. believe in God, this is God telling tion, Th e General Th eory of Em- lasted about eleven years and was Surely someone else has noticed Joseph metes out grain to the the Pharaoh (and by extension, ployment, Interest and Money, pub- replaced by our government based that national Republican Party people; Egypt survives the famine us) government tax policy. For lished in 1936. Most Republicans on a strong Constitution. Th e and Conservative media fi gures, while other countries perish. Th e those who don’t believe in God, gag over the name Keynes, as they Germans learned this lesson fol- such as Tea Partiers Scott Brown Pharaoh is applauded, Joseph is pay attention to Paul Krugman. for the most part subscribe to lowing World War One with the and Frank Guinta, are constantly rewarded. Clearly the previous president, Classical Economics which says Weimar Republic, which could do repeating the same old tired re- Here is the macroeconomic George W. Bush, never read this government has no role to play in nothing. It appears that the long frains in response to all ideas re-

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Friday, September 19, 2014 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Page 7 A Billionaire's Sound Advice to the Billionaire's Club by Jim Hightower on a strong middle class he says, Th e old claim that paying est minimum-wage levels in the bering warning to obtuse billion- for it’s their purchases that power workers more will destroy small country. aires: No society can survive the ere’s an unusal über-rich the economy, he says, noting that businesses and job growth is sim- For the Koch-headed ideo- glaring inequities we are building Hguy with an unusual mes- “I earn about 1,000 times the ply not true, he says, adding that logues who say any minimum into the American economy — sage for his fellow one-percent- median American annually, but it’s insidious to claim that helping wage is Big Government in Ac- stop these feudal low-wage poli- of-the-one-percenters. I don’t buy thousands of times the rich get richer is good for the tion, this member of the Billion- cies and bridge the widening di- Nick Hanauer, who made bil- more stuff .” He points out that his economy, but helping the poor aire’s Club says that the soundest vide, or “the pitch forks are going lions as an internet entrepreneur, family has three cars — not 3,000. get richer is bad for it. Hanauer way to shrink government is to to come for us.” recently wrote in an open letter to So, Hanauer says, it’s in the self- points out that “Th e two cities in decrease the need for it — pay § other über-richies that, “Th e true interest of America’s corporate the nation with the highest rate decent wages so people don’t need Copyright 2014 by Jim Hight- job creators are middle-class con- and fi nancial elites to do all they of job growth by small businesses food stamps, rent assistance, and ower & Associates. Contact Laura sumers, not rich businesspeople can to lift wages — starting with a are San Francisco and Seattle” other subsidies for life’s basics. Ehrlich ([email protected]) like us.” America is dependent $15-an-hour minimum wage. ˆ which also have the two high- Hanauer concludes with this so- for more information. lated to building a more inclusive a statue to ATD in honor of his/ your place of business is just plain it’s hard enough to gain the trust mercial property improvements economy and growing America’s our historic victory over corporate dumb. To begin with, take a good of the public and considering how such as energy effi cient upgrades, middle class (i.e., raising the fed- greed. Th e reinvigorated Capital- look at your customers and then hard you must work to gain that wood pellet boilers, or solar arrays eral minimum wage, repairing ail- ist in me also fi nds me wanting take a good look at Scott Brown trust I’m wondering why you’ve for hot water or electricity. An en- ing infrastructure, providing af- to design a talking ATD Doll to — do you see any similarities? put up a sign of a person who is so ergy audit would be required prior fordable healthcare, &c.). Some of be sold at all Market Basket loca- Do you really believe your brand, untrustworthy? Have you really to a qualifi ed contractor perma- their all too familiar lines include: tions. I envision this doll selling which is targeted to Middle stopped and thought about what nently affi xing the improvements “It’s a job killer;” “It will hurt the like Strong T-shirts and America, is a good co-brand with that sign is telling your custom- to the property. people we want to help;” “It will to be carried around for political Scott Brown? ers and more importantly, your Th e program would be fi nanced damage the economy;” “We really debates or discussions with advo- Everyone knows Scott Brown potential customers? I know what through a combination of munic- want to do something to help, but cates of trickle-down economics. is a carpetbagger from Massachu- it’s told me …. ipal bonds and Qualifi ed Energy ….” When one pulls the doll’s string, setts who got his butt kicked out Bill DeCarolis Conservation Bonds. Property Th e great news is that Market it will recite, in ATD’s voice, the of the state by Elizabeth Warren. New Castle, NH owners’ repayments would be in Basket CEO Arthur T. Demoulas 11 simple business principles that Suddenly he pops up here, backed § the form of special annual proper- can show the said persons exactly the highly successful Market Bas- by the Koch brothers and Karl Property-Assessed Clean Energy ty tax assessments over a period of how to create an economy which ket supermarket chain runs on Rove to try to put another Senate To the Editor: 10 — 20 years. Unfortunately, due centers around the middle class starting with: “Everybody carry seat in their pockets. He’s never As an Eco-Municipality, Ports- to the recent bipartisan energy and benefi ts all. a notebook, stay close to the cus- seen a Big Oil tax break he didn’t mouth has been a leader in sus- bill’s defeat, PACE liens remain In light of the inspiring Market tomer, love your vendor, promote like, he publically denies the ex- tainability. Th e upcoming Master junior to existing liens resulting in Basket story, I’ve got to believe from within, let people get in the istence of climate change (think Plan is a great opportunity for the some mortgage lenders not allow- that corporate CEOs and Repub- way and no gouging.” those two things may be related?) City Council to not just renew our ing those with their mortgages to lican politicians across America Wayne H. Merritt encourages unfettered PAC con- commitment towards sustainabil- participate. are asking themselves that if they Dover, NH tributions and wants to repeal Af- ity and resiliency, but transform More and more Portsmouth were to lose their jobs, would they Wayne: fordable Health Care for Middle the Port City into a modern Eco- residents practice sustainabil- have Artie T.’s mojo to garner the Make it happen — we’ll provide America; a man of the people he Municipality by including specifi c ity. We all have our own reasons loyalty and support of 25,000 em- free ad space for the Talking Artie T. is not. goals and particular programs in ranging from environmental to ployees and 2,000,000 customers Doll. But, let’s forget for a minute our 10 year plan. economic. I advocate for sustain- (or constituents in the case of the Th e Editor his bought and paid for political Property-Assessed Clean En- ability on a local level and energy politician)? How many people § positions and his lack of qualifi - ergy (PACE) fi nancing is a state independence on a national level rallied for 40 days and 40 nights Ports. Toyota & Scott Brown cations, because, well, you know, initiative that should be included to reduce our military engage- for Guinta and Brown when they To the Editor: “bqhatevwr.” in our upcoming Master Plan. ments rooted in our reliance on were recently voted out of offi ce? While this email is directed Th e real reason your sign is a PACE essentially establishes a foreign energy. Artie T. is my new hero and I squarely at Portsmouth Toyota slap in the face to your custom- revolving city government fund Josh Denton promise fi ve Tootsie Rolls to any I’m sure there are other large busi- ers is because he’s clearly an op- for individual property owners to Portsmouth, NH child that shows up at my front ness owners on the sea coast who portunist who is willing to do or borrow money for renewable en- Josh: door wearing an ATD costume on may see their refl ections. Placing say anything at all to close the ergy investments. Funds are avail- Th anks for this introduction. Halloween. I previously suggested a gigantic Scott Brown sign on deal. I’m sure as car salespeople able for both residential and com- Th e Editor

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Alternative Clothing & Goods 33 Vaughan Mall ● Portsmouth, NH 03801 ● 603-431-2243 Page 8 - The New Hampshire Gazette - Friday, September 19, 2014 Admiral Fowle’s Piscataqua River Tidal Guide (Not for Navigational Purposes)

Portsmouth, arguably the fi rst whom you choose to believe. moon drags about seventeen billion moves from the mouth of the Twice a day, too, the moon lets end of Badger’s Island, bobbing and bridges work their hardest. town in this country not founded Th e Piscataqua’s ferocious cur- gallons of seawater — enough to river, up past New Castle, around all that water go. All the seawater around in the current. It weighs Ships coming in laden with coal, by religious extremists, is bounded rent is caused by the tide, which, fi ll 2,125,000 tanker trucks — up the bend by the old Naval Prison, that just fought its way upstream several tons, and it bobs and oil, and salt do so at high tide, for on the north and east by the in turn, is caused by the moon. the river and into Great Bay. Th is under Memorial Bridge, past the goes back home to the ocean. Th is bounces in the current like a cork. more clearance under their keels. Piscataqua River, the second, third, Th e other player is a vast sunken creates a roving hydraulic confl ict, tugboats, and on into Great Bay. is when the Piscataqua earns its Th e river also has its placid mo- Th ey leave empty, riding high in or fourth fastest-fl owing navigable valley — Great Bay — about ten as incoming sea and the outgoing Th is can best be seen when the tide title for xth fastest current. Look ments, around high and low tides. the water, at low tide, to squeeze river in the country, depending on miles upriver. Twice a day, the river collide. Th e skirmish line is rising. for the red buoy, at the upstream When the river rests, its tugboats under Memorial Bridge.

Sunday, September 21 Monday, September 22 Tuesday, September 23 Wednesday, September 24 Thursday, September 25 Friday, September 26 Saturday, September 27

2007—Th e Nelson Mandela Foun- 2003—“A year from now,” says 1999—Th e $328 million Mars 2007—A plane previously used 2008—Somali pirates capture the 2011—Dick “Dick” Cheney is 2002—Donald Rumsfeld calls the dation announces that, George W. Richard Perle, “I’ll be very surprised Climate Orbiter burns on landing for “rendition” fl ights carrying al- MV Faina, a 500-foot freighter stuck in a Vancouver building while alleged link between al Qaeda and Bush’s assertions to the contrary, if there is not some grand square in because Lockheed Martin used Im- leged terrorists to Guantanamo Bay with a cargo of 33 Soviet tanks. police clear an angry mob. Iraq “accurate and not debatable.” Mandela lives. Baghdad that is named after Presi- perial measure, not metric. crashes in the Yucatan carrying 3.3 2007—Texas kills Michael Richard 2006—A declassifi ed U.S. intelli- 1996—In Kabul, the Taliban — 2004—“Because of activities that dent Bush.” 1974—Fort Knox opens for inspec- tons of cocaine. on schedule because Judge Sharon gence report says the Iraq War has former seminarians — torture, cas- could potentially be related to ter- 1980—Th e Iran-Iraq War begins. tion to quell a tabloid rumor. 2006—Th e New York Times pub- Keller refused to work overtime. enraged Muslims and given radicals trate, and kill Mohammad Najibul- rorism,” air cops drag the singer 1975—Sarah Jane Moore shoots at 1952—Trying to convince Ameri- lishes a leaked intelligence docu- 2003—An early draft of an interim a potent recruiting issue. lah, President of Afghanistan. formerly known as Cat Stevens off President Gerald Ford, but Oliver cans that he’s not a crook, Richard ment concluding that the Iraq War report from weapons inspectors 2002—George W. Bush claims that 1994—On the Capitol steps, 350 a London to New York fl ight. Sipple, a disabled former Marine Nixon cites his daughters’ dog in a has increased the threat of radical in Iraq says no WMD have been “the Iraqi regime possesses biologi- GOP candidates vow to take out a 2001—George Tenet informs Dick and Vietnam vet, defl ects the gun. televised speech. Many are fooled. Islamic terrorism. found. cal and chemical weapons.” Contract with America. Th ey must “Dick” Cheney that his alleged Iraq/ 1973—Henry Kissinger becomes 1945—French forces overthrow the 2006—George W. Bush tells Wolf 2002—George W. Bush says “You 1991—Th e House bank announces have meant “on.” al-Qaeda link is fi ction. Cheney, Secretary of State. Democratic Republic of Vietnam. Blitzer, “When the fi nal history is can’t distinguish between al Qaeda that after covering 8,331 rubber 1991—For the fi rst time in decades, however, is not dissuaded. 1970—President Nixon requests Th e U.S. acquiesces. written on Iraq, it will look just like and Saddam when you talk about checks written by Congressmen the U.S. has no nuclear-armed 1976—Ex-Chilean Ambassador another 1,000 FBI agents to spy on 1938—A time capsule is buried at a comma.” the war on terror.” over the past year, it will stop. B-52’s on alert. to the U.S., Orlando Letelier, and college campuses. the New York World’s Fair to be 2005—Human Rights Watch re- 1981—Sandra Day O’Connor be- 1983—Lt. Col. Stanislav Petrov 1989—To show kids there are more an assistant are assassinated by car 1959—Fire Commissioner Robert opened in 6939. ports that U.S. troops routinely beat comes America’s fi rst female Su- disregards malfunctioning Red constructive things to do than take bomb in Washington, D.C. J. Quinn sounds the air-raid sirens 1930—Birth of Ray Charles. and tortured detained Iraqis. preme Court Justice. Army computers showing fi ve at- drugs, Jeff rey Petkovitch and Peter 1957—Hurricane Carrie and a to celebrate the White Sox’s pen- 1912—Release of Mack Sennett’s 2001—Tony Blair publishes a dos- 1966—Th e smallest crowd in the tacking American nuclear missiles. DeBernardi climb into a barrel and badly-trimmed load of barley sink nant win. Many Chicagoans as- fi rst “Keystone Comedy.” sier claiming erroneously that Iraq history of Yankee Stadium—413— World War III is averted; Col. go over Niagara’s Horseshoe Falls. Pamir, the last cargo-carrying wind- sume it’s war with the Russkies. 1848—John Curtis of Bangor, ME, can launch WMDs in 45 minutes. watches the White Sox beat the Petrov is reprimanded. 1972—Th e fi rst stretch of the jammer, off the Azores. Six crew- 1949—After putting vast eff ort and begins producing “State of Maine 1981—CIA Director William Yankees 4-1. 1960—John Kennedy and Richard Trans-Amazonian Highway opens; members survive, eighty drown. expense into it, the USSR blows up Pure Spruce Gum,” the fi rst com- Casey urges that intelligence agen- 1962—While listening to the fi rst Nixon hold the fi rst televised presi- bye-bye rain forest, hello global 1956—Anastasio Somoza, dictator its fi rst A-bomb. mercial chewing gum. cies be exempted from the Freedom Liston/Patterson fi ght, Vivian dential debate. warming. of Nicaragua, is fatally shot by Ro- 1927—Dempsey loses to Tunney in 1838—Birth of Victoria Chafl in of Information Act. Stanshall and Rodey Slater form 1945—American OSS offi cer Lt. 1964—Th e Warren Commission liberto Lopez, a poet. the famous “Long Count.” Woodhull, a proponent of free love 1978—On his yacht in Chesapeake the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. Col. A. Peter Dewey is killed in reports that Lee Harvey Oswald, 1938—New England is clobbered 1905—Th e tally after a race riot and the fi rst female presidential Bay, right-handed CIA spook John 1959—Th e U.S. Navy loses a nu- Saigon by Viet Minh guerrillas who acting alone, killed President John by a nameless 183 m.p.h. hurricane in Atlanta is 10 dead blacks and 2 candidate. Paisley takes a shotgun blast behind clear depth charge, minus its fi ssile have mistaken him for a French of- F. Kennedy. that kills up to 700. dead whites. 1806—Lewis, Clark, and almost all his left ear. It’s ruled suicide. core, in Puget Sound. fi cer. Before his death, Dewey fi led 1957—Th e United Kingdom tests a 1897—A New York Sun editorial 1904—Jim O’Rourke, 54, gets his the rest of the gang make it back to 1969—Th e Show Trial of the “Chi- 1926—Henry Ford announces the a report saying the U.S. “ought to nuke on aboriginal lands in Maral- lies to a girl named Virginia, telling last hit in a Giants uniform. In St. Louis. cago 8” begins. 8 hour, 5 day work week. clear out of Southeast Asia.” inga, South Australia. her a mythical “Santa Claus” is real. 1876, he had made the fi rst base hit 1800—Birth of Wm. H. McGuff ey, 1968—Protestors destroy 10,000 1915—At Loos, France, British 1911—Th e Battle of the Meuse- 1944—A group of 35 U.S. B-24s, 1895—Th e Duryea Motor Wagon in National League history. author of McGuff ey’s Reader. draft fi les in Milwaukee, WI. forces release 150 tons of chlorine Argonne begins, the last great battle isolated over Germany by a navi- Company, fi rst U.S. maker of auto- 1862—Abraham Lincoln frees the 1780—British Major John Andre 1957—Th e Dodgers play their last gas towards German troops. Th en of the War to End All Wars. gational error, are jumped by 100 mobiles, starts its engines. slaves—in the states which are not is busted for spying near Tarry- game at Ebbetts Field. the wind shifts. 1901—Abraham Lincoln’s body is enemy fi ghters; four survive. 1797—Th e crew of HMS Hermoine under his control. town, NY. 1911—Portsmouth native Ensign 1911—Ground is broken for Fen- viewed one last time before being 1944—Th e U.S. government begins slaughter eight offi cers, heave their 1823—Th e Angel Moroni tells 1779—John Paul Jones takes the Charles Emerson Hovey, 26, is shot way Park. covered with two tons of concrete. large-scale production of plutoni- bodies overboard, and hand the Joseph Smith where to fi nd the British ship Serapis as the Bonhom- and killed by natives on the island 1789—Congress passes the Bill of Among the 23 present is Fleetwood um on land taken from the Yakama ship over to the Spanish. golden tablets. me Richard sinks under him. of Basilan in the Philippines. Rights. Linley, 13, who lives until 1963. Indian Nation. 10:23 10:39 11:02 11:18 11:37 11:54 12:10 12:28 12:41 1:01 1:13 1:36 1:47

4:06 4:21 4:46 5:01 5:22 5:38 5:55 6:12 6:27 6:47 7:00 7:23 7:35 8:01 Sunday, September 28 Monday, September 29 Tuesday, September 30 Wednesday, October 1 Thursday, October 2 Friday, October 3 Saturday, October 4

2005—Tom DeLay (R-TX) be- 2006—Anti-child porn crusader 2005—NY Times reporter Judith 2013—In the interests of fi scal 2003—Survey chief David Kay 2009—COP Keating, in Nuristan, 2010—Germany is fi nally free of comes the fi rst House Majority U.S. Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) Miller tells a Grand Jury that discipline, Republicans force a reports that his three-month, $300 badly-sited and scheduled for its WW I reparations debt. Leader indicted for violating cam- resigns after his lurid e-mails to Dick “Dick” Cheney leaked Valerie government shutdown, costing the million search for Iraqi WMD has abandonment, is mostly overrun by 2004—SpaceShipOne, Burt Rutan’s paign fi nance laws. Five days later young male pages are revealed. Plame’s name to her. economy $24 billion. turned up squat. Taliban fi ghters who capture weap- tourist rocket, makes its second trip he resigns. 2003—Th e White House denies 2003—George W. Bush vows to 2003—Th e Free State Project se- 2002—George W. Bush calls Iraq ons and ammunition, leaving eight above the atmosphere in fi ve days, 2005—Th e Pentagon says it will that Karl Rove had revealed the fi nd out who leaked CIA agent lects New Hampshire as its liber- “a threat of unique urgency,” be- Americans dead and 27 wounded. and wins the Ansari X Prize. investigage charges that soldiers name of CIA agent Valerie Plame. Valerie Plame’s name. tarian paradise. cause of its WMD. 2006—Republicans in Congress try 2002—Knight-Ridder reports that posted photos of dead Iraqis online 1988—Th e Veterans Peace Convoy 1998—Th e GAO reports that Ken 2002—Th e U.S. Northern Com- 1991—Th e Philippine Senate, dis- to “roll over” $20 million set aside “Th e White House and the Penta- in exchange for free access to porn. to Nicaragua wins a lawsuit pre- Starr had spent $40 million in a mand is established to “Defend regarding the devastating eff ect it for a celebration of victory in Iraq. gon … are pressuring intelligence 2002—George W. Bush claims Iraq venting the Executive branch from failed eff ort to nail Bill Clinton. America’s Homeland”—posse comi- will have on the Olongapo sex in- 2003—Th e National Enquirer re- analysts to highlight information has WMDs, al Qaeda terrorists, and regulating or prohibiting foreign 1962—César Chávez founds what tatus be damned. dustry, votes to chuck the U.S. Navy ports that Rush Limbaugh is being that supports Bush’s Iraq policy.” a nuke coming soon. aid that is intended to relieve hu- becomes the United Farm Workers. 2002—George W. Bush claims he out of Subic Bay. investigated for illegally procuring Only one paper prints the story. 2001—To avoid further scorn in man suff ering. 1960—“Th e Howdy Doody Show” hasn’t “made up his mind we’re go- 1989—Televangelist Jim Bakker, prescription opioids. 1992—An El Al cargo plane carry- these pages, Fleet Bank removes 1980—Th e Washington Post pub- airs for the last time. ing to war with Iraq.” on the witness stand in his own 1995—O.J. Simpson is acquitted of ing depleted uranium and precur- its 18-foot tall green, illuminated lishes Janet Cook’s Pulitzer-win- 1955—Rebel James Dean’s immor- 1975—Poet Louis Untermeyer trial on 24 counts of fraud and con- double homicide. sors for sarin nerve gas crashes in sign from the middle of Pleasant ning story about a fi ctional 8 year- tality is assured when his Porsche says, “I’m writing my third auto- spiracy, blames Jerry Falwell for the 1991—House Speaker Tom Fo- Amsterdam, killing 47. Street’s sidewalk. old junkie. obeys the laws of physics. biography—the other two were fi nancial collapse of his God-racket ley (D-WA) announces that 1986—CBS News anchor Dan 1978—Th e papacy of John Paul I 1972—On Vineyard Sound, a 1954—U.S.S. Nautilus, the fi rst premature.” PTL Ministries. House members have accumulated Rather is attacked on the streets ends with his death under mysteri- short, bearded man in sneakers atomic-powered ship, is launched. 1973—Despite multiple failures 1980—Congressman Michael Myers $300,000 in unpaid bills at the of New York by two men yelling, ous circumstances. fails in his spontaneous attempt to 1949—Th e Berlin Airlift ends after to meet minimum requirements, (D-PA) is expelled from the House House restaurant. “What’s the frequency, Ken?” 1964—UC Berkeley students pro- throw former Defense Secretary 277,000 fl ights. George W. Bush is discharged hon- for taking a bribe and engaging in a 1986—A fi re breaks out aboard the 1971—Declaring victory in a race test free speech restrictions. Robert Strange McNamara off the 1938—Th anks to the Munich pact, orably from the Texas Air National conspiracy, the fi rst to be so ousted in Soviet missile sub K-219. Th e Reds in which he ran unopposed, South 1960—Ted Williams takes the ferry M.V. Islander. peace is assured. Guard. 120 years. Why he was singled out, we blame an alleged collision with the Vietnamese President Nguyen Van plate at Fenway for his last at bat 1969—Th e U.S. Army drops mur- 1929—German sportsman Fritz 1952—Th e fi rst issue of Mad Mag- can’t say. USS Augusta. Th e Pentagon blames Th ieu calls his margin “an achieve- and hits his 521st home run. der charges against Special Forces von Opel fl ies a glider powered by azine is unleashed on an unsuspect- 1978—With the Yankees and Red sloppy Commy work habits. ment for democracy.” 1938—At Munich, British and Col. Robert Rheault—the CIA 16 solid propellant rockets, achiev- ing world. Sox tied for the season, a playoff 1980—Moral Majority co-founder 1957—Two U.S. military facili- French diplomats give Hitler the won’t let its agents testify. ing a speed of 95 m.p.h. 1917—Arabs led by T.E. Lawrence game is held; it’s decided by a three- and U.S. Rep. Bob Bauman (R- ties in Saigon are bombed; 13 are Sudetenland and the GOP a future 1957—A Soviet nuclear fuel plant 1927—Babe Ruth gets his 60th capture Damascus. run homer hit by New York’s Bucky MD) is charged with making sexual wounded—the fi rst announced U.S. talking point. at Kyshtym blows up, kills hun- home run of the season off Tom 1903—Fred Van Wormer’s au- F. Dent. solicitations to an under-aged boy. casualties in Vietnam. 1917—166 activists of the Inter- dreds, and spews more radiation Zachary. topsy is interrupted because he is 1967—Th urgood Marshall be- 1973—Donald Segretti testifi es be- 1946—Th e U.S. Navy seizes national Workers of the World are than anything until Chernobyl. Th e 1864—Black Union soldiers cap- still breathing. Taken back to Sing comes the fi rst black Justice on the fore the Senate about dirty tricks he American oil refi neries to break a arrested for interfering with the war CIA suppresses the news to protect ture Confederate entrenchments at Sing’s electric chair, he is found to Supreme Court. used to get Nixon re-elected. 20-state strike. eff ort. the U.S. nuclear industry. battle of New Market Heights. have died. He is electrocuted again 1919—Woodrow Wilson suff ers 1968—Gen. Curtis LeMay, former 1918—Th e world’s largest muni- 1904—In New York a woman is ar- 1906—To “protect American inter- 1630—In Plymouth, the Pilgrims for good measure. a massive stroke; America gets its Strategic Air Command chief and tions factory explodes in South rested for smoking a cigarette. ests,” U.S. troops go to Cuba. hang John Billington for murder. 1860—In San Francisco, Emperor fi rst woman president. American Independent Party Vice Amboy, NJ. About 80 die immedi- 1891—In New York a 72 year-old 1902—French writer Emile Zola 1542—Johannes Gutenberg pub- Norton I issues a decree barring 1918—Units of the U.S. 77th Divi- Presidential Candidate, advocates ately, and thousands are displaced. writer named Herman Melville dies in his sleep, possibly suff ocated lishes Th e Bible. Th e presumed au- Congress from meeting in Wash- sion advance into the Argonne For- use of nuclear weapons in Vietnam. Among them, 300 more die from dies in obscurity. by a clogged chimney. thor gets no royalties. ington, D.C. est to become the Lost Battalion. 1968—Jerry Rubin entertains HUAC. the fl u, caused by exposure. 2:14 2:26 2:56 3:10 3:44 4:01 4:39 4:58 5:41 6:01 6:45 7:08 7:50 8:13

8:14 8:44 8:57 9:31 9:45 10:24 10:40 11:23 11:41 12:25 12:47 1:29 1:52

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