The REALIST Issue Number 84 - November, 1968 - Page 01 scans of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/84

j%X%XX%XX%XXXXS%XXX%XXXXXXXXXXXX%XX%XXXXX3 The Case of the The Trial of Cock-Sure Groupies Abbie Hoffman’s Shirt

by Ellen Sander by the United States Government The chords come flooding out of the amplifiers like a Deputy Clerk: All witnesses in the case of the United tonal wave, swelling to an impossible amplitude, blaring, States versus Abbie Hoffman step forward please. Mr. Hoff­ ringing, pounding. A broad beam of noise is shot beating man. I’m suro you have been advised by your attorney that into the swarming crowd with great resonant thrusts and you have a right to a jury trial. It is my understanding that throbs. The amplifiers are complaining. you waive that right. Is that correct? They press up against the stage, the young ones, their Mr. Hoffman: T h at’s right. faces bathed in delight or clenched in crumpled ecstatic Deputy Clerk: The Government has no witnesses? agony. They lean over the edge Mr. Benton Becker: None. of the platform, clutching gifts and (At this point Mr. Gerald Lef- beads or notes or the gro u p ’s lat­ court is sworn in, by Judge An­ est album. And some reach, reach drew Howard Jr., to practice law out, squirm on their bellies trying in the District of Columbia for the to get up over the edge of the purpose of this case, and Mr. Da- stage, just maybe to-touch-one-of- Weitzman of Washington D.C., them . . . once. who is a member of the defense counsel, is introduced to the court.) And when it was over Mr. Becker: Your Honor, this is The lights turned on and the a matter in v olv in g a criminal curtain fell down charge deriving from the Federal They stood at the stage door Code 18 USC 700. That section. and begged 'for a scream 700. is a relatively new statute, The agents had paid for the which I have handed to the Court black limousine a copy thereof. The Government That waited outside in the rain. will make a statement and at the conclusion I will ask opposing Did you see them? counsel if they are willing to stipu­ Did you seeeeeee them? late to everything that I have said. — "Broken Arrow " If we had witnesses here, we Neil Young submit that they would present The Buffalo Springfield evidence which would tend to show that on Tuesday August 3rd, 1968, “Did you see them, did you at approximately 10:00 a.m., in an seeeee them, oh, Cathy, th ey’re so area described as the southwestern beautiful! Look at that hair, that steps of the Cannon House Office blonde hair — ooooh, those faces, Building, in Washington D. C., Cathy, look at those faces! Oh, wow, the drummer, Cathy, members of the Capitol Police Department focused their the bass player! L et’s go in back to the stage door, Cathy, attention on the defendant, Mr. Hoffman. These members Cathy, maybe we can meet them, talk to them, something, of the Capitol Police Department are officers MacFarlane, (Continued on Page 14) (Continued on Page 7) http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 84 - November, 1968 - Page 02 scan s of this entire Issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/84

ported, "The bridal party swept down the aisle all smiles. The doors of the The (White) Protestant Restoration \ church were flung open, and two secret L service men appeared.” by Larry Josephson the first brilliant notes of Zippity Doo At the top of the church steps, the Dah filled the church. newlyweds stopped to wave and smile at The uniting of the klans Eisenhower Soon it was time for the ceremony to the crowd. The respectful throng, so no­ and Nixon was the penultimate event in begin. Princess Julie stepped down the tably devoid of the witches, trolls, fags, the month-long pageant prior to the coro­ long carpeted aisle to the martial strains jews and Yippies who had caused so nation of Richard the Hard-Hearted, King of Jerdhiiah C la rk ’s Strumpet Voluntary, much unpleasantness recently, waved and of the Free World and All Its Dominions. her hand on the arm of her father, the smiled right back. After about 15 min­ This union, between the last two pure- King of the United States. The bride utes of this, the wedding party and all blooded WASPs in Christendom, which wore a dress o f grey flannel Belgian lace, the guests boarded a fleet of waiting car­ was made in Heaven and the Marble delicately embroidered with the family riages amidst a hail of shredded copies of Collegiate Church, assures the continua­ motto: Nixon's the One. She carried a the Reader's Digest, then sped uptown to a gala reception at the un-Americana H o­ tion of the line of the House of Dwight bouquet of African cannabis, Greek nar­ which had been interrupted by the reign cissus and non-perspiring mums. Her il­ tel. of the catholic King John. lusion veil of Saran Wrap appliqued with One would expect the scions of so dis­ California table grapes was held in place The entire Kingdom of Plenty was tinguished and powerful a family as the by two miniature pearl-handled revolvers aglow on the nuptial day. The gods had Nixonhaucrs to receive lavish, exotic wed­ given to her by the National Rifle As­ provided the couple with sunshine and ding gifts from the many friends, rela­ sociation. clean air; the police, their nightsticks tives and favor-seekers who attend them. safely sheathed and forgotten, smiled ben­ At the foot of the aisle, by the altar, The military-industrial complex, about evolently at the throngs of clean-shaven stood the pastor of this simple church, which the old soldier had cryptically well-wishers gathered on lower Fifth the Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, an old warned, was well represented in the gift Avenue waiting to catch a glimpse of family friend and author of the bestsel­ list. the pious couple. As the bride entered ling Power of Purgative Thinking. Dr. North Amcrican-Rockwell, a prime the church on the right hand of her Peale had magnanimously consented to contractor in the space program, presented father, the crowd strewed plastic flow­ take time out from his books, sermons, the bridegroom with a set of titanium- ers upon them and shouted, "Hail, Dick pamphlets, syndicated newspaper column, foil condoms forged from the ruins of Rex!" numerous personal appearances and tele­ the defective Apollo-204 space capsule. vision guest shots to perform the historic Inside the Temple of Positive Think­ The Government was represented by ceremony. ing, all was resplendent. Upon the walls the National Security Agency which gave were hung symbols of the Christian sa­ The service, which began with respon­ the couple a telephone scrambler and an crament of marriage: food, cards, houses, sive readings from the Grosse Point. anti-bugging device to prevent their Se­ wigs, cloth coats, and all manner of ap­ Michigan telephone directory, was con­ cret Service guards from listening in on pliances. A hushed stillness, broken only ducted according to the age-old liturgy the newlyweds’ verbal sex play. by the soft Hosannas of the Yorba Linda centered on the Protestant Eucharist: the The private sector, representing as it Tabernacle Choir, pervaded the scene. turning of workers’ blood into money. docs, rugged American entrepreneurial The wedding guests included some of Dr. Peale offered Holy Communion to capitalism, contributed 100 pounds of dis­ the most distinguished bankers, lawyers, the members o f the wedding party by eased meat. placing an after-dinner mint on the com­ publishers and small businessmen in the Charles G. (Bebe) Rebozo, a Florida 1 land. The Vice-King, Spiro T. Agnew, and m un ican t’s tongue, then incanting, ‘The Body of H iss.’’ real estate dealer and another old fam­ all the King's men were in attendance. ily friend, gave the newlyweds 160 acres Notable by his absence, however, was Just before the marriage vows were giv­ of choice Florida land—presently under Humphrey Dumpty, principal contender en. Dr. Peale delivered a short sermon re­ water—along with a four-color bro­ for the Plutonium Throne, who was re­ minding the couple that “This is an awful chure describing the planned locations of cently defeated by King Richard at the world, just simply frightful, and w e’re roads, schools, churches and super­ Battle of Illinois. stuck with it.’’ He urged them to main­ markets. The bridegroom’s grandfather, found­ tain "an expectant and optimistic men­ tal attitude” through which, “with divine The reception was a gay affair. There er of the House of Dwight and Winner was much talk of gowns and gifts as well of World War IT. was unable to attend help, they might achieve health, happiness, prosperity and courage in time of g rie f.’’ as the usual petty affairs of state. The as he was recuperating from a loss of quantity of food and drink, including a heart at Walter Jenkins Army Hospital. A Dr. Peale has been an enthusiastic sup­ porter of the Hundred Years War in Viet­ whole roast Negro sent by Sen. J. Strom special closed-circuit television hookup nam. Thurmond, was impressive. The newly­ was arranged so that the old general and weds were toasted by King Richard, who his wife could watch re-runs of Bonanza Prince David and Princess Julie ex­ said. "This is a very newsworthy and during the wedding. changed vows in a simple three-ring cere­ happy day. Today I saw the Apollo men mony in the tradition of the b rid e’s Amer­ On a signal from some unseen director, halfway to the moon and the crew of ican background: a ring for each of their the Pueblo released.’’ When asked of the the mighty Hammond organ, mounted on fingers and one for the bridegroom’s nose. personal qualities of young Eisenhower, a hydraulic lift, arose on one side of the The traditional kiss between the bride and his new son-in-law. King Richard said. altar. On the oposite side, another, larger groom was eliminated because o f the “Give me a week and maybe I can think lift carried the shimmering flesh of Kate g r o o m ’s notorious bad breath. of some.” Smith toward the dome of the great (Even his best friend, Elmer H. Bobst, As Prince David and Princess Julie cathedral. Miss Smith had been com­ former chairman of the Warner-Lambert prepared to leave for their secret honey­ manded to sing at the nuptials in reward Pharmaceutical Company, makers of Lis- moon site, the crafty old King, mindful for her steadfast loyalty to the Protestant tcrine, w ou ld n ’t tell him.) of the value of royal births for distracting King during his long period of pretension The ceremony was ended with the play­ public attention from the many crises he to the throne. As the organ and Miss ing of Happy Days Are Here Again on knew would soon come, called out to Smith reached their simultaneous climax. the church Muzak system. The Times re­ them, “Let’s knock this one up for Ike.” 2 http://www.ep.tc/realist Th» ItaKst THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 84 - November, 1968 - Page 03 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/reallst/84

chanting “Ommmmmmm— dreaming of a white Christ­ mas. . .” This was omitted because the network was afraid Editorial Giggies Irving Berlin would sue. Near the end, our narrator anounced that the Yippies would be “going to Washington for the inauguration of I Think You've Heard This Song Before the pig.” The television people felt that viewers might in­ Yes, I know this was supposed to be the Tenth An­ terpret this as an uncomplimentary reference to Richard niversary issue. The thing is. I ’ve been away for a few Nixon. Gosh, we meant it literally. weeks— to several states and a couple of countries— and Indeed, the Yippies are going to Washington for the finally got an exclusive interview with political exile inauguration, along with thousands of others, to continue Eldridgc Cleaver, which will be included in the anniversary the protest against an inhumane power structure. No issue, to be published in mid-February. masochistic confrontation is sought; wc merely wish to The newsstand price of that special issue will be in­ celebrate the inauguration of our own candidate. Pigasus creased to 50c. And there will be a pair of Realists going J. Pig. to subscribers only, in order to allow the anniversary issue Those unable to attend either event arc invited to par­ to remain on the stands for a longer period of time. Even ticipate at home. At the precise moment that Nixon says structure freaks might concede that it is entirely ap­ “So help me God," toilets all across the nation will be propriate for an anniversary issue of the Realist to be eight flushed simultaneously, as though disenfranchised voters months late. were puling the levers that really registered their senti­ A Kick in the Inaugural Balls ments about the new President. The sarcastic title of Mayor D a le y ’s televised film The State of the New Republic (Continued) defending the action of Chicago police during the Demo­ Many readers have cancelled their subscriptions to the cratic Convention was What Trees D o They Plant? How­ New Republic until that periodical reverses its decision to ever. a group of local Yippies has since been arrested refuse further advertising by the Realist, a policy instituted there for planting a tree without a permit. after some of their subscribers complained. As the pub­ Equal TV time was granted to the demonstrators — in­ lisher stated in a letter to me: “Evidently, your journal cluding 15 minutes delegated to the Youth International had referred to ours in some kind of deprecatory manner, Party— but Metromedia saw fit to indulge in the censor­ and these people (not we) were upset that they ‘bought* ship game. the Realist through the ad pages of TNR— yet you put At one point Allen Ginsberg was shown. The superim­ the knock on u s." posed sound track originally had a trio of male voices Last month I misreported what the offending passages were. Apparently, what was objected to was item con­ cerning a panel discussion on Violence in tr “Someone spoke of the dichotomy of Bonnie < :le. As an intellectual he scoffed at their stupid neu. but as a liberal he was buoyed by their attempts to the rich. Critic Andrew Sarris replied that this was no more conflicting than the New Republic: ‘The first half is fiilled with all the outrages being performed on the mass of little people. The second half, on culture, attacks the philistinism and mass tastes of those same little people.*' Meanwhile, the New Republic carried ads for the con­ servative National Review and the late Hubert Humphrey. What Do They Want, B lood? When Abbie Hoffman was arrested in Washington for wearing a shirt that resembled the design of an American flag, authorities at the maximum security penitentiary did their worst to harass and humiliate him. For example, although he d o e s n ’t have lice, they gave him a preventive de-lousing. They also took a blood sample against his will, without affording him the sterile courtesy of a disposable syringe.

The Realist is published monthly except for January and July by The Realist Association, a non-profit cor­ poration. Publication Office: 595 Broadway, New York, N. Y. 10012. Editor: Paul Krassner, Box 379, Stuyvesant Sta., New York, N. Y. 10009. Subscribtion rates: $3 for 10 issues; $5 for 20 issues. Second-class postage paid I d o n ’t know . . . it never struck me at New York, N.Y. as such a terrible insult."

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Two months later, he was hospitalized in New York STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP. MANAGEMENT AND CIR­ City for serum hepatitis. Conspiracy theorists consider the CULATION (Act of October 23. 1962: Section 4369. Title 89. United State* Code). possibility that it was done on purpose. The Jack Ruby 1. Date of Filinx: October 1. 1968. case all over again. Anyway, the recuperative process d id n ’t 2. Title of Publication: The Realist. 3. Frequency of Issue: Monthly except January and July. prevent Abbic from helping doctors to organize them­ 4. Location of Known Office of Publication: 595 Broadway, New York. N. Y. 10012. selves against some of the oppressive tactics of the medical 5. Location of the Headquarters or General Business Office* of the Publishers: 595 Broadway, New York, N. Y. 10012. profession. 6. Publisher: The Realist Association. Inc., 101 Ave. A, New And there will be a lawsuit against the D.C. prison for York. N. Y. 10009: Editor: Paul Krassner. 1)1 Ave. A. New York, N. Y. 10009: ManaKinc Editor: None. gross negligence. It could conceivably turn out to have 7. Owner: The Realist Association, Inc., 101 Ave. A, New York, N.Y. 10009. been the most expensive blood donation in American 8. Known Bondholders. Mortgagees. and Other Security Holders history. Owning or Holding 1% or more of total amount of bond*, mort­ gages or other securities: The Realist Association Inc. is a non­ Happiness Is a Warm 69 profit corporation; there are no stockholder*. President: Paul Krassner; Vice-President: John Wllcoek: Secretary: Bob Abel—all January 7, 7959: Fidel Castro enters Havana. of 101 Ave. A. New York, N.Y. 10009. 9. Extent and Nature of Ciieulation: A. Total number copies January 10, 1958: March of Dimes switches from polio printed: Average No. Copies «n<-h issue during preceding 12 months 116,667; Actual No. Copies single issue nearest filinr date 100,000. to birth defects. B. Paid Circulation: (1) Sale* through dealers and carrier*, street January 12, 1967: Dick Gregory sentenced to six months vendors and counter sale*, average No. copies each issue during preceding 12 months 64,292: single 1h»uc nearest to filing date 73,876. for fishing with the Indians. (2) Mall subscription*:, average no. copies each issue during pre­ ceding 12 month* 19,912: single issue nearest to filing date 19.463. January 14, 1967: First Be-In in San Francisco. (e) Total paid circulation:, average ho. copies each issue during January 18. 1969: Week long boycott of Coca-Cola preceding 12 month* 84.204, single issue nearest filing date 93,338. (d) Free distribution (including samples) by mall carrier or other begins. means: average no copies each issue during preceding 12 months 60. single Issue copies nearest to filing date 60. (e) Total distribu­ The above dates arc selected from this m onth’s entries tion: by mall, carrier or other means: nvcmgc no. copies each is­ on the Official Yippic Calendar, a beautiful work of de­ sue during preceding 12 months 84.254, single issue nearest to filing date 93.8R8. (f) Office use. left-over, unaccounted, spoiled after dicated art which includes such other milestones as the day printing: average no. copies each Issue during preceding 12 months, 32.413, single issue nearest to filing date 6.612. (g) Total: Barry Bondhus dumped 10 pounds of shit in his draft' average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months 116.667. board files; the day Teddy Nadler answered the first single issue nearest to filing date: 100,000. I certify that the statements made by me above are correct and question on The $64,000 Question; the day Andy Warhol complete. /*/ Paul Krassner. Editor was shot by Valeric Solanas; the day Sherry Finkbinc had her abortion; the day Timothy Leary took his first LSD Two Martyrs Beyond Conception trip; the day Thomas D ew ey’s victory party was held; and the day John F. Kennedy was killed by unknown as­ Bill Baird was arrested for giving a free birth control sailants. product to a college student, thereby violating a Mas­ The price is $3. Realist readers may have copies for sachusetts law protecting chastity. The case goes right to $2 plus 25c for mailing, from Real World Hallucinations. the anti-pleasure crux of the controversy. Baird needs Inc., 333 E. 5 St., New York, N.Y. 10003. money. Campus and other groups can invite him to speak by writing to the Parents Aid Society. 130 Main St., Hempstead, N.Y., or calling 516-538-2626. The Realist, Dept. 84 Dr. Nathan Rappaport wrote a hook called The Abor­ 595 Broadway tionist by Dr. X. He has terminated thousands of un­ New York, N.Y. 10012 wanted pregnancies safely, but recently he brought a patient with complications to a hospital where she died. □ $1 for five extra copies of this issue, #84 He has been charged with manslaughter. Those wishing □ 75c for Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo to lend moral support when his case comes up may con­ □ $1 for How to Talk Dirty—Lenny Bruce’s autobiography tact the National Organization for Women at 509 5th □ $2 for A Guide to Rational Living by Ellis & Harper □ $2 for a copy of Paul Krassncr’s Impolite Interviews Ave. in New York C ity, or telephone 212-MU 7-0890. (with Alan Watts, Lenny Bruce, Albert Ellis, Henry Abortion, after all. is only birth control in retrospect. Morgan, Jean Shepherd, Jules Feiffer, Hugh Hefner) □ $1.50 for giant poster of Paul Krassner with spray can For the Man Who Has Everything of Instant Pussy (additional copies to same address, $1) □ $1 for a dashboard Saint Realist (our cover mascot) Ever since Phil Ochs said that not having a color TV □ $1 for a red-whitc-and-blue Fuck Communism poster now is like someone living in the Elizabethan age and not □ $1 for a blasphemous One Nation Under God cartoon going to see Shakespeare performed. I ’ve felt guilty for not □ $1 for Putnam’s set of 4 empty marijuana seed packets owning a set, so I finally bought one. What could be left □ $1 for Guindon’s invasion-of-privacy phantasmagoria for me to desire? Well, there is one thing. □ $1 for Wally W ood’s Disneyland Memorial Orgy □ $3 for a back-issues binder (will hold 36 Realists) When Joseph Heller entered a gift subscription to the □ $ .. for back issues at 25c each or all 41 for $10: Realist for Tony Curtis, the actor wrote and asked if there 23, 25, 27, 29, 30, 3L 32, 35, 39. 40 was anything he could do for me. I will now make my 41, 42, 43, 47, 48, 50, 53, 54, 55, 57 corruption public. 58. 59, 60, 63, 64, 66. 68, 69, 70, 71 I want one of the huge rectangular banners that say The 73. 74, 75, 76. 77, 78. 79, 80, 81, 82, Boston Strangler and fly in the wind over marquees at theaters where the movie of the same name is playing. I Name ...... Apt. . plan to use it as a bedspread. I would he the only one in the whole world who would have The Boston Strangler Address ...... embroidered on his bedspread. City ...... State Zip Except maybe for the Boston Strangler.

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The police took along Sandy and Sonya — even though they h adn ’t opened their coats yet — because they “su­ Reporter at Small spected the other women were also about to go topless." by Robert Wolf The two were later released without charges. But Aboiafia and Janet were held in jail for eight hours. In night court, with a Legal Aid attorney, they pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct; a “not guilty” plea would T h e W all S tre e t Bust-Out have meant that Aboiafia would have had to raise some bail money. They each received a two-day suspended sen­ Recently more than 10,000 respectable New Yorkers tence, one for each tit. formed a ruly mob in front of the Stock Exchange in order to get a good view of a 21-year-old girl whose measure­ ments arc 43-25-37, Four automobiles buckled under the T h e F o rt D lx L ove-in weight of the horny spectators. Police were armed with Upstaging Martha Rayc and the DAR, the peace forces bullhorns rather than billy clubs, for these were Americans decided to take their own songs and cookies to the GIs whose skin was not black, whose hair was not long, whose at Fort Dix. On a drizzly Sunday morning at Union Square, chronology was not young. two chartered buses were filled with peaceniks, and there They had gathered in force, not to protest human in­ were standees in the aisles. On one bus. a CBS film crew justice, but to ogle at a pair of large mammary glands. (they obligingly called themselves “the three s t o o g e s ”) And so on November 15th. professional hippie Louis tagged along. Aboiafia went to Chase Manhattan Plaza with three girls. For the bus riders, it was like the army — hurry up and His public relations man. Stan Goldstein, was saying: wait. When the buses finally pulled out at 11:30, someone “While most of the sy ste m ’s straights do not see naked muttered, “Do n ’t be surprised if the next stop is Allenwood.” ladies running through the streets of A m e rica ’s money Within a half hour, we were riding in New Jersey farm­ center with their eyes open, they do see them when their land, where there were paint brushes for trees stuck in red eyes are closed. They know what they want." clay mud. A joint was passed around to exorcise the fac- tory/pig-farm stink. After we saw a convoy of three Army trucks at I P.M., we passed an exit sign: “Ft. Dix, McGuire AFB, Atlantic City." The bus captain took the d r iv e r ’s mike to make a few remarks about the spirit the love-in should assume, and to tell about how the Armory is always available to Guy Lombardo but never to The Fugs. The CBS crew threw their lights on; the speaker said, “Oh, fu ck !”; and a girl cried, "Fuck CBS, the parasites! They had to be kicked out of the Fillmore.” Tuli Kupferberg polished up the statement h e’d make, if asked: “I was just following orders." The speaker said there w o u ld n ’t be any ants at our pic­ nic, but one might have to be careful not to step on an MP or a CID agent (Criminal Investigation Division o f the Army; G2). There may not be any GIs to mingle with either, but if there are. he warned, they w on ’t want to A few days previously, having leafleted the area, Aboiafia spend the time rapping about Adolf Eichmann; “thou­ showed up with four girls of various-sized breastworks. sands” of stickers had been put up on base saying “Fuck The group then walked into about 15 buildings and banks, the Army,” so it w on ’t be necessary to elaborate on it. and the girls took off their coats, revealing that they were Someone else warned. “Do n ’t touch anybody. You might bare from the waist up. A crowd would invariably gather, get menningitis.” The buses were stopped by MP and and the guard would come over and tell them to move on: State Trooper cars; an Army filigree-visor gave the bus "You ca n ’t block up the front." drivers some orders, while his driver broke the ice by One of the girls— a pretty 18-year-old brunette, Janet smiling at the demonstrators when the o ffic e r ’s back was Manno — had been along that time, when another girl turned. The buses were given an unrequested red-light named Adrian had been the featured number. This time escort to a "park" — a weeded strip of field along the Janet wanted the spotlight, so Adrian was not invited. The highway — across from the base. other girls were blonde Sandy Pearson, 27. and another We disembarked near a red, white and blue sign which brunette, Sonya Bowerman, 18. said "Re-Up!" and a directional sign pointing to a build­ The group reached the sidewalk in front of Chase at ing: “Preventive Dentistry" (pull out the teeth?). The buses 20 minutes after noon. Aboiafia had called the Daily News pulled away, to park a milc-and-a-half down the road in an hour before, to ask them to be on hand, but he saw no Wrightstown. and we were left facing, across the road, a News car in sight, so Janet opened her coat, exposing her field of low, colorless, frame barracks of probable World breasts, and the other girls began to unbutton their coats. War II vintage. Aboiafia began a loud spiel to passersby about the beauty Some of our young men looked hard, to sec what th ey ’d of the human body. Three men stepped forward from the missed, while Allen Ginsberg described the panorama as crowd at different points as if to get a closer look, surround­ reminding him of Prague or Moscow. Later he gave a ed the group and hustled them all into a police patrol car. Hindu incantation to purify the site for our ceremony.

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Standing across the road, having their own be-in, was a " D o e s n ’t that have the effect, Captain, of telling them group o f MPs, CID men and brass, guarding the entrance that the picnic is off limits?” road to the base. “Take one step forward and y o u ’re in “Th a t’s not a picnic. I t ’s a demonstration.” the Army,’’ one of our group said. “Do you see anybody there with signs?" The celebrants got busy with their football, frisbee, gui­ “Isn ’t this an ‘open base,’ Captain? What is an open tars, and sandwiches. Most everyone took a taste of com ­ base?” munal cannabis honey (“Hey,- save some for the G Is ”), “Well, it means that it ’s open to the general public.” and someone was passing around Dick Gregory campaign "Does that mean that individuals from this group can dollars — “They work in the m a ch in es’’ — in one corner enter?" they read, “This country is redeemable.” Some of the GIs “No. The general public.” on b ase, in uniform, stood at the nearest safe comer and One of the celebrants, in his 30’s, crossed from the other watched. side of the street: “Let me through," he told an MP, “I’m The reporters — including a pretty girl who was a spy a Democratic delegate.” He came up to Captain Leonard for the Army — found Hanoi Rose and began to interview and asked. "Sir, I’m a former veteran of the 82nd Air­ her as to why sh e ’s here. Her answers were slow and clumsy borne. Can I go on the base?" enough that the reporters never were quite sure whether “No .” she was really from Vietnam or not; the Army spy duti­ "Why not?” fully took notes about her route to the U. S. from Hanoi. "I d o n ’t think it would be in the best interests o f the It was cold enough to see your breath in the air, and country." too drizzly to risk the lives of the electric musicians. "Who decides that?" a reporter asked. ‘This is heavy, man," someone said. “You think the “I have.” brass seeded the clouds?” Ginsberg piped up: “Can / go on. alone?” “Probably not, because they stand out in the rain to o . At The Captain conferred with someone. “Yes, you can.” least we can leave whenever we want.” Ginsberg went over to where the MP was, on the road­ The Esso station, on the com er across from the base, way, and walked past him. The MP watched the brass, did a big business in candy and cigarets. Two FBI or CID who were watching Ginsberg. The reporters went across agents came over and asked the owner, an ex-vet, to close the street to await further developments. up. “Wh o’s going to reimburse us?” an employee asked. Ginsberg came back in about 20 minutes. H e ’d exorcised TTie owner thought about it, and finally decided against the chapel, seen the V sign from most of the blacks h e’d it. But when the rain died down and the musicians wanted passed and gotten a few homosexual catcalls, he said. to plug into his juice, he refused. The bus captain had made an announcement through a A man and a woman decided to try to enter the base; bullhorn: “The law says that any civilian can walk onto they were rebuffed by the MP. who got a headshake from the base; but once y o u ’ve been ordered off and you leave, the brass. Ginsberg, and the reporters, went over to ask you violate the law if you go back on again. So use your why. This time Captain Leonard was really surprised; h e ’d own judgement.” granted Ginsberg dignitary’s rights and Ginsberg w a sn ’t “What happens,” someone yelled, “if you leave Wrights- even grateful for it. All Leonard would say now about his town and want to go back again?” discriminatory behavior was, "I d o n ’t care to discuss it A group of reporters and Allen Ginsberg went over to further. W e’ve had our little chit-chat." talk to the brass. As soon as they set foot on the other By 3:30, the honeyed masses were tripping out. T h ey ’d side, one of the officers said. “You know y o u ’ve just viol­ settled down to the notion that there would be no mix-in ated the federal law?” The reporters were steered to the with the GIs, and were finding that they were having more b a se ’s Public Information Officer, Captain Jack Leonard, fun among themselves than if the GIs had shown up anyway. who was blushingly surprised to find that we w eren ’t polite The brass had continually told people that there were in our questions. lots of GIs downtown; scouts reported that there w eren ’t. “Captain Leonard, why are there no G Is here? Have The celebrants entertained themselves: by watching two they been told not to mix with the hippies?" babies play atop a car, one sliding down the windshield: “No, th ey’ve been told that they can go over there, but by pondering whether the CID had sent over the honey they might find themselves involved in a controversial si­ to fuck up the demonstration; and by watching the Sixth tuation.” Street Theater perform an anti-election play. Even the CID and brass crowded around, on their side of the hill, to THE REALIST, DEPT. 84 watch it. 595 Broadway But by the time the buses reappeared at 4:30, most cele­ brants were ready to go. Two GIs — one facing a court- New York, N. Y. 10012 martial for having twice gone AWOL— had snuck onto □ This is a new subscription, to begin with # ...... the buses downtown and were riding back to New York □ This is an extension of my present subscription. in their civvies. Enclosed please find: Both from upstate, they were given at least four addresses □ $3 for 10 issues □ IS for 20 issues where they could stay in New York; information on emigrat­ (Note: for Canadian and foreign subscriptions add II) ing to Canada; and two chicks volunteered to sit and talk Name ...... A p t...... with them on the way back. One was especially happy to see female faces; h e’d just gotten out of the brig for his first Address ...... AWOL offense. When he got off the bus in Union Square, City ...... State Zip ... he gave the V sign.

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ABBIE H O FFM A N ’S SHIRT a star for each state, or d o e sn ’t anybody know. Is this enough of the flag? (Continued from Cover) Mr. Lefcourt: Well, I think the statute talks in terms of Curry, Giardino and Graybill. Officers Graybill and Giar- anything that resembles a flag. dino observed the defendant’s dress, with particular empha­ Mr. Becker: Well, as I understand — I should perhaps sis on the attire on the upper portion of his body. It was say that the defense counsel and the Government have their opinion that the attire worn on the upper portion of worked rather closely in this case, and we anticipate a brief the defendant’s body closely resembled the symbols and opportunity to argue the law in this case at the conclusion designs of the American flag. of the d e fen se’s case. Acting on information from their superiors, they ap­ The Court: All right. proached the defendant and arrested him for desecration Mr. Lefcourt: Your Honor, I would move to dismiss for of the American flag. During the course of the arrest, un­ failure to prove a prima facie case — and on that I have fortunately, the evidence was partially injured, and we will some brief comments. The statute in question, Section 700 introduce that which we have as part of the attire. of 18 U.S.C., provides — and it’s very simple, Your Honor N ow , during the course of this arrest and exposure, cer­ — it says: “whoever knowingly casts contempt upon any tain photographs were taken of the defendant, which the flag of the United States by publicly mutilating, defacing, Government would ask to be marked as Governm ent’s defiling, burning, or trampling upon it,’’ etc. Those are the Exhibits 1, 2, and 3. In addition thereto, the Government acts stated in the statute. would ask that Government’s Exhibit Number 4 be marked Now, Your Honor, nowhere in that statute is there a for identification, which is that garb worn by the defendant proscription against wearing an article of clothing that re­ — or perhaps I should say more accurately, half of that sembles the flag? garb worn by the defendant — on the date in question. The Court: What does defiling mean? It appears to be the right side; may the record reflect that Mr. Lefcourt: My very next point, Your Honor. In order it shows the red and white stripes with the stars, and it to apply this statute to this defendant certainly could in no contains two political buttons. And there are buttons down way interpret the act of wearing a flag, which has been the front. stipulated to. as mutilating, defacing. Certainly not: that Mr. Lefcourt: Could you read those buttons? implies marking. Burning? Certainly not. Trampling upon? Mr. Becker: These items that I described as political but­ Of course not. The only possibility of the application of tons, and I quote: “Vote Pig in Sixty-Eight, Yippie," with this statute is the word defile. that profound message; and the other says, "Wallace for Now, we have a long-standing construction rule in our President, Stand Up for America.” legal system known as sui generis, which, in a sense, takes The Court: Now, w e’ve got it all in. a list of words and by their application — each one here Mr. Becker: The Government will now ask defense coun­ w e’re talking about — connotes one word that is not cer­ sel if they are willing to stipulate as to all the facts that tain of, whether it is a physical act or not. and deems it I have elicited. a physical act. Mr. Lefcourt: Your Honor, I would like to agree with Now, there is no physical act alleged against this de­ the U. S. Attorney and stipulate to all the facts that he has fendant. There is no mutilation. There is no burning, or just elicited, with the exception that the date was October anything like that. H e’s simply charged with wearing a 3rd, not August 3rd. shirt, this shirt resembling an American flag. And secondly, perhaps the U. S. Attorney would indulge N ow , I doubt if any attorney reading this staute would in a further stipulation to the effect that the defendant was know that wearing a shirt that resembles a flag violates the on his way into the Cannon Office Building to attend a statute, and I think that’s a very, very major point in this House Un-American Activities Committee hearing, accom­ argument. The statute does not say wearing a flag; there panied by others, who were subpoenaed to that hearing, have been statutes which have said similar things. For and counsel, of which I myself was present. instance, we have a statute that was here in the D. C. Code, (After some legal arguments regarding the relevance of 22-3414, where it says displaying or painting. But wearing. H offm a n ’s subpoena to HUAC, the stipulations are allowed, this statute does not say that. If Congress wanted to say and the defense agrees not to challenge the G overnm ent’s that, it should have. exhibits.) The Court: Well, what is the definition for defiling? What does that mean? I d o n ’t know. Mr. Becker: The Government would now rest its case. Mr. Lefcourt: I t ’s defined by W eb ster’s as dishonor. The Court: All right. The Court: Dishonor. Mr. Lefcourt: I want to hand this up to the Judge. Your Mr. Lefcourt: Dishonor. That’s W ebster’s definition. In Honor, I have a memorandum of law for which I would a legal definition, and wc have to apply it to the statute, like Your Honor to have access during the course of my every word in this statute is a physical act. If we apply statements and argument. the word dishonor, we have to talk in vague terms. What The Court: All right. does dishonor mean? Is it clear? Actually, does it meet the The Deputy Clerk: Any objection, counsel? standards of our legal system? We know that the classic (Becker objects to the memorandum because he hasn’t difference between a democracy and a demagogy is in their read it yet. The Court allows the objection.) laws. We want to know exactly what is proscribed. Is wear­ The Court: You just make your argument, and I w on ’t ing a shirt dishonoring the flag? Does Uncle Sam, when he look at it until later on. marches in the parade on July 4th, dishonor? It’s a real Mr. Lefcourt: All right. question. The Court: One thing before we get started. Do you have The Court: Well, does he have a flag draped around him?

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Mr. Lefcourt: Well, the Uncle Sam costume . . . ernment has to show that this defendant intended to dis­ The Court: I know, but a ren ’t there stripes down his long honor the flag by wearing something that resembled it as jacket? a shirt. We have no evidence whatsoever of any intent. Mr. Lefcourt: And the stars on his hat, and th at’s the Now, I d o n ’t think Your Honor can just presume intent. question. The question is whether this court can interpret We are talking about a criminal statute in which Congress defiling as wearing a shirt; and from a reading of that has said a one-year penalty in jail is appropriate. I think statute we cannot know that. So, therefore, I renew my it is a very, very serious question as to whether Congress motion to dismiss, on the failure of the Government to can punish somebody for wearing a shirt that resembles prove a prima facie case. a flag. The Court: All right. Mr. Becker? There arc really two questions involved, and the first Mr. Becker: Well, as I say. I ’ve met with this motion, one is: is the conduct such that it creates a secondary ef­ but I am not without having done some homework on this, fect besides its communication of an idea? Did his conduct Your Honor. There is a case called State v. Schlueter; it ’s do anything more than communicate an idea to others? And cited at 23 A. 2d. 249. I t ’s th e 1941 case, and it attempts the second question then becomes; if it did, was the seconda­ to define the words deface and defile. This case says to de­ ry effect so substantial that the Government should punish face or defile, when used in reference to a flag, have been him? interpreted as meaning purposeful acts which dishonor the Now. I submit to you that wearing the shirt could have national symbol. Acts which deface or defile the flag require no possible secondary effect. It might upset some people. a state of mind which is lacking in accidental conduct. But the question is, can we punish somebody for doing T h a t’s point one. Point two: the flag was defaced. Let something that really d o e s n ’t effect a substantial govern­ me give you the defacing definition from Webster. I t ’s to ment interest? There is no violence. Nobody was hurt. destroy or mar the face or external appearance of. I t ’s to Nobody was injured. Can we punish somebody for doing impair, and it implies superficial injuries, as in scratching, that? scribbling, or the removal of detail. All right, defiling is to Mr. Becker: Your Honor. I would like to respond to the make filthy, dirty, to make ceremoniously unclean, sully, or two points raised. We have not stipulated that the item in to dishonor. question is a flag, but quoting the language of the defense We would submit that at a bare minimum, a bare mini­ counsel, he admits that it’s something that, “resembles a mum, placing a political button on that flag which sits be­ fla g.’’ On the second point, intent is not necessarily a pre­ hind Your Honor would be a defacing o f that flag. Placing requisite to criminal punishment. There are two kinds of political buttons only. intents, and two kinds of crimes: a general intent and a I just want to add one other point. I feel I should re­ specific intent. This is a general intent statute— and that spond to the Uncle Sam argument. Uncle Sam himself is the defendant intended to wear a shirt that resembled a a national symbol, just as the flag is a national symbol, and flag is clear. And to the argument that it is conduct con- one national symbol, recognized as such, cannot deface and municating an idea. I submit that there must be an end defile and cast contempt upon another national symbol. to some kind of conduct that communicates some kind The Court: Did I understand you to say that the mere of ideas. I happened to have been present during the argu­ fact that you place some political buttons on the flag, you ment of the O ’Brien decision in the Supreme Court, and interpret that to mean that it defaces the flag? I remember full well Justice Fortas saying to the defense Mr. Becker: T h a t’s correct. That it would mar its pur­ counsel at that time. “Wo u ld n ’t it be conduct communicat­ pose. It would make it ceremoniously unclean. It would ing an idea if someone threw a rock through the White be adding to or detracting from its normal appearance. But, House window, showing his opposition to President John­ th at’s at the very least, because w e ’re not dealing with a son?” The defense counsel said, “Yes, I suppose it would." situation like that. In this case what appears to be a flag And Justice Fortas said, “Well, would that conduct be has been converted into a shirt. You have a flag being used guaranteed by the First Amendment?” And the defense as wearing apparel. The Government submits that that is counsel admitted no. an adequate showing of casting public contempt upon the The reason why that is not — and the reason that this, flag, or a representation of the flag as defined by the the wearing of an American flag, should not be protected statute. by the First Amendment — are equal, in that the Govern­ The Court: You say that having placed these political ment has a legitimate interest in maintaining the sanctity buttons on here will bring it under this part of the statute of its symbols. There is a very popular show th a t’s been that speaks o f defacing? See, I had gone along with coun­ on Broadway, and I believe it ends with a line: “Without selor and just about eliminated defacing, and I was working our traditions and symbols, we would be like a fiddler on on defile. the roof.” The Government needs to maintain its symbols. Mr. Becker: There arc two points. Your Honor. The case We ask Your Honor to resist the motion for dismissal. I cited, and the W e b ster’s dictionary: to destroy or mar. (Some discussion follows, regarding the fact that the I think mar is the more significant word. Webster says that shirt has been commercially made; but this is considered deface is to mar. irrelevant. The motion to dismiss is denied, and the defense The Court: All right. calls its only witness. Mr. Hoffman.) Mr. Lefcourt: Your Honor, I would just like to add that nowhere in our stipulation was there any comment about Direct Examination by Mr. Lefcourt that being a flag. T h a t’s a shirt that resembles a flag. But the more important thing is that the statute must involve Q. Mr. Hoffman, before we get into the actual occurrence intent, and w e’re talking about intent to dishonor. W e’re in question, I wanted to ask you, for the purposes o f edify­ defining defiling or even defacing together, and the Gov­ ing the Court, the type of activity that you have been in-

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volvcd in, in the past four or five years — such as civil I was here in Washington at the request o f the House rights activities, and so on. Un-American Activities Committee, to answer charges aris­ Mr. Becker: May I make my first objection, on the basis ing out of what happened in Chicago. of leading question and irrelevant to the issue at hand. Q. You arrived in Washington pursuant to a subpoena, The Court: Oh. I would like to have his background. is that correct? The Witness: Well, in 1960, while I was a graduate stu­ A. Yes. dent at the University o f California. I happened to go to a Q. Could you tell the Court exactly what happened on hearing of the House Un-America Activities Committee October 3rd. at approximately 10:00 A.M.? Where you in San Francisco, and what I witnessed at that time, and were, and why you were doing the things you were doing. with what I read in the papers about what was going on A. Yes. Well, we had been headquartered in the hotel in the South. I decided to leave school and begin radically right next to the Cannon Office Building. We were pro­ trying to change things in this country. ceeding from there to the Cannon Office Building to enter I went back to New England and became involved in the hearing room. There were a group of us, and many of some political campaigns of peace candidates, and then us choose to dress symbolically — the way we feel about 1 went South to work in civil rights, chiefly in Mississippi, HUAC and the state of the country in general. I was during the summers of 1964. ‘65, an d ’66. Mostly, my playing with a Yo-Yo. and I had on a shirt that resembled responsibilities were in voter registration, and conducting the American flag. I wore the shirt because I was going classes for black children in freedom schools. And I did before the Un-American Activities Committee of the House a good deal of organizing in ghettos in Massachusetts. of Representatives, and f d o n ’t particularly consider that In late 1965 I became sales director of the Poor Peoples committee American and I d o n ’t consider that House of Corporation, which was an attempt to build craft coopera­ Representatives particularly representative: and I wore the tives in the State of Mississippi — where people would own shirt to show that we were in the tradition of the founding the business, and have a direct control over economic af­ fathers of this country. T h a t’s why I wore it. fairs that influenced their lives. I came to New York City Q. And were you subsequently arrested? in 1966 to open the first of seven stores, called Liberty A. Well, the police approached me, and proceeded to rip Houses, which handle those craft goods, as well as the goods of poor whites from Appalachia. the shirt. There was a struggle. I was trying to get the Then I guess I became what people call a Hippie, let Yo-Yo off my finger — they got the Yo-Yo. see. and it my hair grow long, and decided to participate in a revolu­ was pulling my finger: it hurt. My wife saw that I was tion among young white people, just as young black people struggling and tried to come to my aid a little, and then were participating in theirs: and this led me to become an a whole fracas broke out — in which the police ripped organizer of many demonstrations, including the march the shirt off my back. on Washington, and Chicago, and going around to uni­ Mr. Lefcourt: I have no further questions. versities. and talking to people about idea' on how to change this country. Cross-Examination by Mr. Becker During the course of these activities, 1 have been arrested somewhere between twenty and thirty times. And. as far Q. Now. Mr. Hoffman, you indicated that you proceeded as I know. I have but one conviction. in a group, is that correct? A. Y es. Q. How many people were in the group? A. I would say ten to fifteen. Q. Did they come — Where is your home. Chicago? A. New York City. Q. What do you do for a living there, sir? A. I am a revolutionary artist. Q. How docs a rcvoutionary artist put bread on the table? Mr. Lefcourt: Your Honor. I object. Mr. Becker: How does a revolutionary artist put bread Mr. Beckers How docs a revolutionary artist put bread on the table? 1 can be more precise. The Court: D o you understand what h e’s talking about? Mr. Lefcourt: Well, h e’s asking how he makes his money. The Court: Oh. put bread on the table. Hoffman: T h a t’s hippie talk, bread. He means money. Judge. The Court: When you say bread, I think about — Mr. Lefcourt: I would say that how Mr. Hoffman makes his money is really not relevant. The Court: — of course I would never understand that way. Mr. Becker: Well, I would be glad to rephrase it for Your Please, officer . . . listen. Pin a racist . . . I hate Lindsay Honor. (To Hoffman.) How do you make your living? . . 1 voted for Wallace and lluckley . . . I belong to the A. I write books and articles about being arrested. NR A . . . I'm for victory in Vietnam . . . I . . . ” Q. And th at’s how you make a living, sir?

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A. T h a t’s one way. The chief way, the other is that I lutionary attitude of the founding fathers was made quite steal. clear throughout their writings and actions. Q. When was the last article you had published? (An exchange follows where HoiTman admits he never A. Well. I have a book. I t ’s called Revolution for the Hell saw any of the founding fathers dressed specifically in a of It. You can have a copy if you like. flag shirt.) Q. Have you ever had anything published in a magazine, Mr. Becker: I just wan to understand one thing. Mr. which I could have purchased in one of the local Peoples Hoffman, and then I ’ll be seated. You recognized that the Drug Stores? shirt you had on that day resembled an American flag, A. The local Peoples Drug Store? There are no Peoples is that correct? Drug Store. That's Communism. A. Yes. Q. Will you answer my question, sir? Mr. Becker: Nothing further. A. I d id n ’t understand it. I d o n ’t know what drug store Mr. Lefcourt: That’s the defense’s case. Your Honor. you go to. Do you read the real lies? (Ed. The witness said We rest. The Realist.) I move now to acquit this defendant on the grounds Mr. Becker: Your Honor, would you instruct the witness that his guilt has not been proven beyond a reasonable to be responsive? doubt, and, on that. Your Honor. I have some further The Court: Well, y o u ’re getting — comments — and now I address myself to the constitutionali­ The Witness: I have had articles published in magazines. ty of the statute in question as applied. I think it ’s clear Mr. Becker: Okay. Fine. Now going back, about the from the defendant’s case that the act. of wearing a shirt group you came with. Now, did this group accompany you that resembles the flag, was one of symbolic speech . . . from New York to Washington on this occasion? This is a First Amendment argument. Your Honor. It is A. Most of them did, yes. About five to ten came from my belief — and I think the Supreme Court has stated New York. it over and over again — that the communication of ideas Q. Now. you were — did you use the word summoned is what this country is all about, and that as long as you or subpocned? — before the House Un-American Activities can communicate ideas without affecting a substantial in­ Commit'cc. terest of the government, then that communicating of ideas A. I d o n ’t understand the legal distinction. I was “com ­ must be protected. Now. it’s clear that the wearing of the manded” to appear, to use their words. flag on Mr. Hoffman's part, as he stated, was to show Q. Were any of the other ten or fifteen — if you know that this committee was not in the American tradition — — similarly commanded to appear? it was trying to subvert his honest intentions, and those A. Yes. four of the group of fifteen; the rest were lawyers of thousands of others who went to Chicago to protest and friends. against the system in this country, a system o f politics Q. Now. how many of the others were wearing any clothes where certain views can get across and others ca n ’t. that resembled the American flag? The Court: Well, be more specific. Whose views d o n ’t A. None, that I recall. One was wearing a Viet Cong flag. get across? I thought everybody got a shake at it this time. Q. Tn fact, you were wearing a Viet Cong flag under your Mr. Lefcourt: Well. I — Wc could go into a real big shirt, w eren ’t you? You had it painted on your back, d id n ’t argument on the question of whether everybody’s views you? have access in a society based on controlled mass media . . . A. Yes. The Court: Even Paulsen. Even Paulsen got in. Q. Now. you have indicated that you wore the shirt be­ Mr. Lefcourt: Well, it seems that the only way the views cause you were dressing symbolically? of those thousands of people who went there to protest A. Yes. the actions of the Democratic Convention, the only way Q. Could you explain? those views got expressed was by actions of the people A. I was also kind of cold. It would have been cold in Chicago. I mean it was their act of going there to dem­ without any shirt. onstrate — which is constitutionally protected by our First Q. Could you explain that, please, sir? What do you mean Amendment and the same with wearing the shirt. by dressing symbolically? Now. if we d o n ’t protect the communication of ideas, A. I think I explained it in my previous statement, about then w e’re leading ourselves down the path of serious trou­ why I wore it. ble, to a repressive society. Q. Well, would you repeat that statement? So, therefore, this statute must be deemed unconstitu­ A. Well, the reason was that I was attempting to show tional as applied to him. The statute may be very constitu­ that I and the other people who were summoned before tional as to somebody burning a flag with no apparent rea­ the committee, and in general those people that went to son; it may not. on the other hand. The Supreme Court Chicago, were acting in the American tradition — as the of the United States is now considering that very question. founding fathers saw it — more than the House Un-Amer­ There is a New York flag desecration statute in which a ican Activities Committee. man named Sidney Street, after the dca»h o f Martin Luther Q. Well, do you mean that your conception of American King, took the flag that he was holding for twenty years, history shows the founding fathers wearing clothes that since his participation in the army, took that flag and went resemble the American flag? into the street, and he burned it; and said: “If they could A. On numerous occasions I have seen paintings of do this, then I d o n ’t want that flag." George Washington’s troops wearing the flag around their Now, I contend even his activity should be protected. heads as a bandage, and around their legs. In fact, in one Even the activity o f burning a flag. But Mr. Hoffman d id n ’t picture of him crossing the Delaware, the flag is quite do that; he wore a shirt that resembled a flag. prominently worn by someone; and I believe the revo- Now, the constitutionality of the statute, on its face, is

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in jeopardy by the Supreme Court action in the Sidney rather beautiful and attractive — pattern to. It’s symbolical­ Street case. The Supreme Court just heard the arguement ly the United States o f America, and for Congress to attain on it three weeks ago. There is a strong likelihood that the the ability to legislate criminal statutes for the public con­ Supreme Court will protect Mr. S tre et’s activity, and I think tempt of that symbol seems to me a legitimate function of that this Court, at a very minimum, ought to protect the the Congress. activity here in question . . . I thank the Court for its indulgence. (Pictures arc presented of other persons wearing similar (Mr. Lefcourt follows with a long rebuttal, claiming shirts, and a picture o f Mr. Hoffman at a New York rally that no casting of contempt has been shown and reiterating wearing the shirt; and arguments made on the fact that he previous points.) was not arrested in New York although observed by a Mr. Lefcourt: Your Honor, I have one final comment. number of policemen.) That is that if Your Honor finds this defendant guilty of Mr. Lefcourt: I ask this Court to acquit this defendant this statute, you are in affect saying that wearing an article on the ground the people have failed to prove their case of clothing resembling an American flag is contemptuous beyond a reasonable doubt. and should be punished. The Court: All right, Mr. Becker? The Court: Well, that’s all it says. Is that your interpreta­ tion of defiling, defacing? What if you put “Pig" on this Mr. Becker: I ’ll try to be brief, Your Honor. The ques­ flag, d o n ’t you call that defacing it? tion of symbolic speech, I have already addressed. TTiere Mr. Lefcourt: No, Your Honor. He put it on the shirt, must come a time, there must come a place where sym­ you remember. The shirt is what resembled the American bolic speech becomes overt action. To carry a sign which flag. And it’s a political button. says I am opposed to trains carrying boys to Viet Nam. The Court: But it says “Pig," or “Vote Pig." And then that sign is symbolic of what you would be saying. I t ’s the other one. It d o e s n ’t matter who he says vote for. something different to put yourself on the railroad track Even if it said Humphrey or Nixon, it w o u ld n ’t make a and say, “If that train wishes to go to Viet Nam. it must difference, it would still be the same thing. You sh o u ld n ’t go over me.” That, I submit, is not speech: that is an act. put them on there. and I submit that what we have here today is an act, not speech. In fact the statute says nothing about speech. It Mr. Lefcourt: Arc we saying that any time you put a never makes any mention of any communication. It speaks button on a shirt that resembles a flag y o u ’re punishable of acts. It speaks of burning, defiling, defacing, desecrating, by a year in prison? Is that the type of society we want casting public contempt upon. to live in? T h a t’s the question the Court has to answer. I think that putting a button on any shirt, putting a button Now, as to the Street case, I would suggest that it would on the very flag itself, is protected conduct. be judicially unwise to attempt to read the mind of the Supreme Court, and if the Supreme Court should con­ The Court: No, sir, I d o n ’t agree with you. The Court ceivably find the burning section of the statute unconstitu­ finds him guilty. tional, then the burning section of the statute would be The Deputy Clerk: Stand up. Mr. Hoffman. declared unconstitutional and the rest of the statute would The Court: Do you want to say anything before I sen­ remain. It w o u ld n ’t void the entire statute. The Supreme tence you? Court has addressed themselves to the question before. I Mr. Hoffman: Just that I consider this decision as ridicul­ would bring to His H o n o r ’s attention that the Supreme ous as the House Un-American Activities Committee. The Court in Halter v. Nebraska, a very old case, 1907, upheld night after I was arrested, I saw a television show with the constitutionality of state legislation designed to prohibit PhyIJis Diller, who wore a mini skirt that looked like the the use o f a flag for advertising purposes — and to, and American flag. And Uncle Sam — y o u ’re making him a I quote, “Punish desecration of the flag," against the con­ criminal under the law. And every political convention, tention that such legislation was within the sole province they put buttons all over things that look like flags. This of the federal government. That statute is the closest case is ridiculous. Why a ren ’t all these people arrested? to the case at bar, and that is a Supreme Court case. The Court: You had a shirt and the button said “Vote The Nebraska statute, involved in 1907, significantly is Pig.” Mr. Hoffman: So what, th e y ’re all pigs — w h at’s the almost identical in language to the statute at bar. difference? Congress approached this question very cautiously, and The Court: It d o e s n ’t matter who you say to vote for. they did not care to merely go through a legislative exer­ It d o e s n ’t matter whether you say Humphrey, Wallace. cise; they wanted to create a statute that would be upheld Nixon, pig — y o u ’re still defacing the flag. constitutionally, and in accordance thereto they used the Mr. Hoffman: Why isn ’t Phyllis Diller arrested? language of a statute which had already met that test, and The Court: If I had had her here — If she did that — met it successfully . . . If I was trying her, I would try it. (Response to statement that because police did not know Mr. Lefcourt: I would just like to state that we are going of statute in New York docs not justify, act; arguments to appeal the decision. given. It is also noted that this is the only case yet tried The Court: Well, I will have to sentence him. under this law.) Mr. Hoffman: I regret that I have but one shirt to give Mr. Becker: Simply in closing I would merely reiterate for my country. that the Government has a legitimate interest in maintain­ The Court: The Court sentences the defendant to pay ing its symbols. That legitimate interest has been manifested $100 or serve 30 days in jail, and I will stay the execution throughout our history in case after case. W e’re not merely of the payment of the fine or jail sentence subject to the dealing with a piece of cloth. It’s not a piece of cloth that appeal. some seamstress has decided to put a — what I believe Mr. Lefcourt: Thank you very much, Your Honor.

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“ . . . and finally in the news, the following countries reported detonating their first nuclear weapons today — Zambia, the Yemen, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands. In addition, Cleve­ land, Ohio; Passaic, New Jersey; San Jose. California; Londonderry, North­ ern Ireland; and Durban, South Africa are in the process of exploding their . . Leningrad?—Third aircraft d ow n — w e’re Tashkent and Novosibirsk. first nuclear weapons at air time. Meanwhile in Las Vegas, a spokesman for Howard Hughes said the billionaire sportsman-industrialist would detonate his first H-bomb tomorrow, rain or shine.”

”... They SAY th e y ’ll never be the first to use their H- “Dammit, Major, d o e s n ’t anybody around bomb, but who here feels that the Mafia can be tru sted..." here read the papers?”

12 The Realist http://www.ep.tc/realist; THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT j “Chairman Mao feels that the first strike strategy be Moscow, primary target—Washington, secondary ... ”

“• • • The grape growers attitude-notwithstanding, Colonel Turgenev, I am against diverting the San Francisco missile

. and those two conven­ tional bombs bring up the total to an even ten million casualties.”

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COCK-SURE GROUPIES “The level of involvement with to d a y ’s music is quite amazing. One example: Groupies. These girls, (Continued from Cover) who devote their lives to pop music, feel they owe Cathy, le t’s go outside and see if we can catch them on something to it, so they make the ultimate gesture of their way out! Maybe we can meet them, talk to them, worship, human sacrifice. They offer their bodies to anything! Cathy, come o n ! ! ! " the music or its nearest personal representative, the Groupies. Theyr legions, bless their little rock and roll pop musician. These girls are everywhere. It is one hearts, are growing geometrically. Often they work in pairs, of the amazingly beautiful products of the sexual re­ sometimes in gangs. Their techniques for getting back- volution.” stage, which run from bribing, fucking or knocking out — Frank Zappa, The Mothers of Invention security guards, and their methods of tracking a group in Life Magazine down would put a private dick to shame. (You call all the better hotels in town. If y o u ’re looking Zappa knows. I’m very close to believing that Zappa for the Stones, ask for a Mr. Jones, not Mr. Jagger because knows where it ’s all at. When I first heard about the Plaster that way it’s less suspicious.) Casters o f Chicago via the pop grapevine which claimed Zappa as the source, I honestly d id n ’t believe it. Yo-ho, When I have the opportunity to watch them in action, another paranoid Zappa fantasy unleashed on the unsuspect­ it is not without a genuine sense of admiration that I note their acuity. And rarely can I refuse a trembling, pleading ing great unwashed. teeny when she begs me to take her with me as I flash Some weeks later I was rapping late at night with Mar­ my press card at the security men that guard the dressing shall Efron when this friend o f his, the road manager from room areas at rock concerts. the Pacific Gas and Electric Company, comes in and oh, Cops and security men are a fixture at rock concerts. h ow ’s everything and the group is going great, one chick They belong there as much as do the fans and the group handed Frank Cook a note after a set which said “Dear and the rock and roll press entourage. They personify the Fuzzy, I came five times during your drum solo.” and balance of tensions between rock and conservative society. a ren ’t these chicks outasite? They try to stop the kids from scaling the stage and causing And I threw in the tidbit I’d heard about these groupies riots. in Chicago, wow, I heard they make plaster casts o f the Occasionally they succeed. groups’ cocks, Zappa is spreading the word and who knows, But when they try to keep the groupies from their prey, maybe it ’s true. they h a v en ’t got much of a chance. For the groupies are And the road manager, he laughs and whips out this girlchild guerillas with a missionary zeal. T h ey ’ll cooperate card that says "The Plaster Casters of Chicago, Life-Like with each other to outfox whatever stands between them Models of Hampton Wicks— Rennie and Lisa” with phone and the rock and roll boys — but only to a point. That is, numbers . . . th ey ’ll gang a door to get inside, but once it ’s broken in, it’s every girl for herself, unless th e re ’s been a previous “ Fly Jefferson Airplane, Get You There on Time” — agreement. Donovan When the Buffalo Springfield first came to New York a crowd of groupies stood in the back of the house and In C h ic a g o ’s Aragon Ballroom, the Airplane and Blue divvied the boys up. If more than one girl wanted a certain Cheer and the Fraternity o f Man are playing and it ’s Fri­ Springfield they had it out as to which manner of lovemak­ day night. W h at’s left of the Steve Miller Blues Band is in ing each would apply to what and to whom, right then and town and Terry Reid is expected any day. Chicago, long there so therc'd be no squabbles when they got to him. renowned as a music town, could that weekend be called Some girls are specialists. The lead-singcr-fuckers arc a Groupie Happy Hunting Ground. A stocked pond, in fact. a particularly strong contingent, and lead singers who write The Plaster Casters w eren ’t hard to find. I chose the are considered a tour de force by any g r o u p ie ’s measure. Aragon Ballroom because the Airplane was there for one They dress like creatures out of some glorious romantic night only. My escort was a local record company executive drama, scrawl gross amount of black around their eyes who kept looking in mirrors and running his fingers over and wear the biggest, most gaudy baubles they can find, his dried lips throughout the whole adventure. In less than^ so maybe, maybe h e’ll see me. an hour a stagehand brought them to me. The great ones, the super groupies, have real class. I take them upstairs. They arc thrilled that I came all T h e r e ’s one beautiful long lithe spade chick from New the way from New York to find them. They are both York, Lilly, with her enormous dyed bubble head and draped in black antique-y looking capes and shawls and enormous dark glasses, w h o ’s been to Los Angeles to visit whenever and whatever they move, something — hair, the Doors and been to London to live with the Stones. fringe, capcslccve or skirtbottom — is hanging, fluttering, T h e r e ’s Cindy and Morgan who live in San Francisco and swaying. make clothing for the groups — and d o n ’t you know those Rennie is 21, pretty in a round, soft kind of way. She fittings get pretty intimate. has expressive, animated eyes, a petulant mouth, and her In L. A. there are the G. T. O ’s, Misses Christine, Lucy, dark hair falls like a protective curtain around her face. Pamela. Sandy, Sparkie, Cynderella and Mercy, a gaggle By day sh e ’s an IBM keypunch operator and her father of groupies who have had this card printed up that they works in civil service. give to groups. They arc said to have written torrid poetry Lisa is 17, chubby and very young looking, almost in­ about their rock and roll conquest which Frank Zappa may nocent. She has one of those millions o f expressionless mid- set to music for an album. western faces that nobody gives a damn about. She still

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goes to school and hci father is a Chicago cop. ers from the Chicago Charva Chapter have arrived. W e’d T h ey ’ve both been grouping for almost five years, and love to satisfy any needs you may have. For appointment they told me rather proudly that all of their sexual ex­ or more info, call . . . perience has been with groups. They started working ns a team because both of them T o the Beatles: are very shy and they share a penchant for English groups. Dear Beatles. Being very shy girls, even now. who d o n ’t converse easily We happen to know that you hold the record for with boys they d o n ’t know, they walk up to them and ask. charva championship around the world. We suppose “How ’s your r ig ? ’’ that’s why you’ve got such healthy looking hampton Rig? wicks. Tight pants tell a lot o f stories, you know. And "Rig. It’s cockney slang for dick. There arc a lot of those from the way yours projects at the zipper we can tell slang words. Rennie learned most o f them from the Hollies. y o u ’ve got four rocks of gibraltar stashed away. Maybe Up the stairs means take a shit, hrisiol cities are titties. this is the secret behind your success. If your rigs get daisy roots are boots, chopper, rig and hampton wick, they nervous from being cramped up and need a little exer­ all mean cock, and charva means fuck. Eye magazine print­ cise when y o u ’re in Chicago, we are the girls for you. ed it ‘charvcr.’ Eye magazine. So un W e’re two barclays bankers, our bank has convenient In those early days, before they were Plaster Casters, they night hours and you can make all the deposits you would use the cockney slang in their letters to groups. It like . . . was the sort of in thing that none of the other Chicago groupies were hip to. To the Rolling Stones: Dear Keith (Richards). To the Hollies: Rig Men. We watched you on teevec the other night and the Arc your hampton wicks looking for some Chicago first thing that grabbed our eyes was your hampton wick. Charva? If so. look no further. Your two barclays bank- After that we did a little besides studying it. W e’re not kidding, y o u ’ve got a very fine tool. And the way your pants project themselves at the zipper, we figure y o u ’ve got a beauty of a rig. Sometimes we hope y o u ’d whip it out or something, but they d o n ’t have cameras that would televise anything that' large, do they? Hey. tell Mick dagger) he d o e sn ’t have to worry about the size of his. either: wc noticed that (really, who could help. buH) Keith, w e’re serious. We judge boy's primarily by their hamptons because th ey ’re so exciting to look at and con­ tribute so much to a healthy relationship. Wc can hardly wait until you come to Chicago in November: maybe then wc can find out more about w h at’s inside your pants . . . “I’d like to cast Jagger." flashed Rennie defiantly. “I’d like to see about this!” And she whips out her wallet and thumbs through the plastic encased memorabilia until she comes to this picture of Mick J a g g e r ’s crotch she clipped out of Tiger Beat. There is a hypertrophic bulge outlined by his pants. Wow, it looks like a tumor! “I think it looks like a bar of Sweetheart Soap. I heard that he was once caught in the m en ’s room before a TV appearance, stuffing paper towels into his pants. They told him to take it out and he w o u ld n ’t so they got even with ’im by not shooting ’im from the waist down.”

Dear Brian: I am in one of “your” moods at the moment. I was looking at your picture and what a pity your rig w a sn ’t so noticeable. I saw it once on telly and what a grand thing it was!! Well, I ca n ’t help it, I’m in a hampton bag and I just ca n ’t climb out of it. Only A n d rew ’s hot Edi tor's note: Originally, pseudonyms were to be used in one is as creamy as yours . . . here goes: this article. Now, however, the girls want not only their correct names published, but also their photo, because of the Your televised body is something to pant on increasing imposter problem. So, “I-isa” is actually Dianne Above all else sticks out your hampton (left) and “Rennie" is Cynthia, who writes: “Here is the / know it seems a lot o f much best of what we hastily scrounged lip nt 2 in the morning at the Oak Park Arms with my very old Polaroid. I’m even but in your eyes I see a foosh sticking this in the mailbox at an ungodly hour. I’m so an­ I'm not the type whose eyes first goes xious with our competitors closing in on us all the tim e.’’ To long blonde hair or delicate nose.

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At the art institute I studied perspective L isa ’s part of the job was to “plate” him (um, cr, that is, To ignore the way yours projects would be give him head) so that h e’d got hard: "T h a t’s the way to [disrespective look at a rig, right?" Pointing downward like a lance Then they lubricated him with vaseline. Pounding hard inside the pants Rennie jammed a vase full of casting material over his Extraordinary is your rig rig. let it set and removed it. They poured plaster into the Is a fact that cinches. impression and made a near perfect cast. Pray tell, Brian, how many inches? . . . “We didn't get all of it. just about half — it looks like a salt shaker.” It all started when the Beatles came to Chicago, lo those Before that they tested sonic poor quaking little neighbor­ many years ago. There they were in the third row. Lisa hood boy and he was so terrified that it got soft. “It turned in her early teens, and shrewd; Rennie, so fetching in a out like a has relief. We didn't know to go straight in at dark lowcut dress, black lace nylons and big round glasses. the time.” They were screaming and laughing and crying while John, "The first popstar we tried was da-da-da-da from the Paul. George and Ririgo were singing “Please Please Me" Procol Harum but please d o n ’t mention his name Sec, the and Lisa was getting violently restless. mold failed and it d id n ’t come out at all and he begged “Let’s go downstairs." she urged. "Maybe we can meet us not to tell anyone because he d id n ’t want people to them." think his rig failed. Then wc got Hendrix. Oh. and d o n ’t And they went downstairs and outside and there was forget Ogilvic. Ogilvic. he was the road manager for the the Beatles' limousine, and a cluster of girls with the same Mandala — mmm — one of the worst groups. Wc got idea were already there. Lisa grabbed Rennie's arm and him right in this very room!" yelled “Run!" and they ran down the block to he there when (Which was a dressing room, upstairs in the Aragon the car passed them. Ballroom, a little narrow and a little drafty.) Rennie hurriedly scrawled a sign that said “Charva" and Ogilvic is the road manager. “Th a t’s what a lot o f groups held it up as tic astonished four rode past. “McCartney do. set their road managers on us. T h ey ’re afraid of losing just kept staring and staring at us he c o u ld n ’t believe his eyes.1" their precious rigs.” T h e r e ’s this story going around. I tell them, that Hendrix For the Who, their acronymous sign read “Welcome almost did lose his because the mold material got so hard Hamptons Outstanding.” they c o u ld n ’t remove it. "Oh. nooooooo." And they convulse And for the Raiders, the first sign read: "HAIL! — the with laughter. Conquering RIG !” "What happened." they gasp, “is a few of his pubic That was before they learned the Paul Revere and the hairs got stuck in the mold. Otherwise it would have just Raiders’ word for rig: lanoola. And at the next Raiders slipped out as soon as it got soft. Wc were frantic, fifteen concert, with due respect, they held up a sign which gloated: minutes he was in there. Wc just picked the hairs out of LANOOLA. The Raiders, they dug that. it. carefully, so wc wouldn't hurt him. 1 was frantic. I After the set — it was a Catholic high school dance, thought h e ’d hate us or kill us. He was so — impressive — and there were all these nuns around one of the Raiders and I was so nervous. And I’m going. ‘I’m sorry, it never stepped to the front of the stage and thanked everyone for happened this way before’ and h e’s going. ‘No. it’s all being such a great audience and thanks especially to (lick­ right.’ Fifteen minutes he was in there and he said he liked erish wink) Lanoola. it, he said it felt like a cunt! And you heard that the plaster The next day a review of the concert appeared in the got stuck on his rig? Oh. no. ohnonononono — it just shows Chicago Tribune which contained the following paragraph; you how things get twisted!” “The Raiders . . . left after wishing a special thanks And the process? "You mix the mold material. We use to Lanoola who went limp on the sidelines where she dental alginates, it’s wonder.! - ii gets all the little veins was standing holding a name sign.” and crevices and indentations and everything. While I (Rennie) mix. Lisa docs the plating. Then we get the rie The paragraph title was: down into (the alginates) straight. The guy has to help, he has to reach back and push his balls int ;,ie mixture. LANOOLA GOES LIMP! He has to keep his rig hard, too V ;vi a few seconds the Oh. they laughed about that one That was far out. alginates harden, the rig eels soft and falls out.” Reading about yourselves in the Chicago Tribune. Too Then they got Noel Redding. R en n ie’s ultimate best much. favorite popstar. the one that got her started on bass players. S h e’s had a thing for bass players ever since that How did they graduate from super groupies to Plaster day last March when she castcd Noel. Casters? Oh. it was very respectable and with the highest Tonight she is here at the Aragon to talk to Spencer artistic intentions. It was about two years ago and Rennie Dryden of the Airplane, a serious discussion, you know, was an art major at the University o f Illinois. Chicago h e’s a friend o f Z a p p a ’s and all that. But the Steve Miller Circle Campus. They started doing plaster casts in class Blues Band is in town and that bass player — but th a t’s and the assignment was to cast something — anything — tomorrow night. Tonight it’s the Airplane and though and bring it in. th ey ’re as sick as dogs th ey ’re in rare musical form. Rennie, now very much the experienced lady and not They grind out that clumsy sweet and violent San Fran­ at all inhibited about such things, thought: Why not a cisco rock, and evangelical harmonies wash over the room rig? Why not. indeed? So a fellow student became the first like a caress. The audience is tranfixed. Blue Cheer and plaster cast. the Fraternity of Man arc here also, but the Plaster Casters 1* http://www.ep.tc/realist The Realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issue Number 84 - November, 1968 - Page 17 scans of this entire issue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/84

of Chicago d o n ’t want them, nosiree, no. T h ey ’re — uggggg. Lisa, on the other hand — sh e ’s only 17 — is not so no — Blue Cheer . . . Yahhh. Y o u ’ve got to have some sure she wants to continue to be a Plaster Caster. She did sense of distinction. officially resign but sh e ’s going to keep helping Rennie until she finds someone else. “ Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby" — For one thing, it ’s Rennie telling all the boys in the The Rolling Stones bands that Lisa is the best plater in the world. “Suppose I plate them and they d o n ’t like it?” There was a fateful day for the Plaster Casters, one day And also some people are grimly censorious o f the whole in April. 1968. shortly after they castcd Noel Redding, Noel, idea of plaster castings and it’s beginning to bring her lovely Noel. The Cream were in town and Lisa found out down. “It ’s okay for Rennie, she only lives for the moment, where they were staying. They rang up Eric Clapton and but I want a heavy thing with a guy someday and I’m he said sure, come on up and talk to me. afraid this would prevent it." They went upstairs and told him about the castings. No, "Nothing's perfect.” Rennie snaps, “everyone ca n ’t like no. Clapton said, not tonight. Tomorrow for sure. And I you. Y o u ’ve got to make up your mind that y o u ’re a have this friend who probably wants to meet you, th ey ’d pioneer.” both do casts then, he promised. The Plaster Casters are, by now. legend. They have fans, And. since life truly moves in psychic cycles, the friend they arc frequent dramatis personae o f the rock grapevine, was of course Frank Zappa and Rennie thought, oh, no. and recently they discovered two imposters: Alice and that ugly, gross thing. But Zappa flipped out. flipped out Candy arc copping their thing! Getting to groups by saying he did. when he talked to them and they all became ex­ th e y ’re the Plaster Casters! tremely close friends. But both of them. Zappa and Clapton, Rennie, whose dedication is a joy bordering on abandon, copped out when it came to the castings. And Rennie is hopes they d o n ’t learn how to plaster cast — it would spoil still a little bitter about that. her exclusivity. Because th ey ’re getting more famous by They call Zappa their “sponsor” now; he tries to protect the moment. Spencer Dryden told them that Friday night them from any derogation. He confiscated their diaries and that groups in San Francisco were writing tunes about plans to publish them along with the diaries of the G T O ’s. them. And th ey ’re still reading about themselves, though “It’s an important sociological document," he told me. And the coverage has been somewhat tangential. he wants to have a Plaster Caster exhibit in an art show The Chicago Tribune: “The Yardbirds were in high spir­ or museum as soon as the collection is ready. its. They had just seen about 300 girls at the Civic Opera He has ideas, like playing the c o c k s ta r ’s music behind House to receive gifts and sign autographs. They received the exhibition of his plaster casted rig. Cock-Rock. Why everything from imported caviar and kumquats to instant not? I suggested a tool kit, but Zappa just laughed. Z a p p a ’s psychiatric kits. 69 sweatshirts (Rennie gave him that). manager. Herb Cohen (says Rennie) came up with the stuffed animals and incense. One girl was on crutches and idea of making lollipops out of the casts and selling them took moving pictures. Another brought along her plaster under the slogan. “Suck your favorite star." Haw haw. kit to get a mold of Jeff B e ck ’s leg forever!" What a capitalist! His leg, indeed! Rennie is an artist, she d o n ’t look back. She feels if her collection were put in the hands of somebody who believed Playboy: “Roland Ginzel. whose paintings have unfail­ in it, it would be a significant thing . . . a tribute to and ingly captured the existential spirit of the famed a u th o r’s reflection of the sexual revolution, a radical change in work ( N a b o k o v ’s Dispair) . . . is currently teaching in morality . . . Chicago and has works hanging in the permanent collec­ tion of the Art Institute in Chicago and the Dallas Museum of Fine Arts and has exhibited in the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Museum of Modern Art in New York City.” But Playboy left out what must certainly be considered as Roland G in z e l’s most significant contribution to contem­ porary art. Roland Ginzel, after all, was the professor who taught Rennie how to plaster cast. And in the middle of a review of Jimi H en d rix ’s latest album. Electric Ladyland, published in the Chicago Circle Focus, all I *' itself, set off with asterisks:

Ask Jimi Hendrix about Plaster Casters

And the adventures, the grouping, the meetings, the chase and the casualties. There was that time in July *67 with the Monkees. Oh. those dumb Monkees. They were in the lobby of the hotel and there was a lot of security around. Getting upstairs was going to be a problem, they Plaster Caster samples: Jimi Hendrix (#00004, 2/25/68); thought. But the Monkees had heard about the Plaster a friend from school; a fellow student; Noel Redding Casters and. oh, yes. wanted to see this, they did. and they (#00005, 2/30/68); Don Ogilure (road manager, 5/5/68). sent down for them.

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‘‘We approached Davy Jones and he said yeh, it would to inform me of the activities of another client in New be great, you could have duplicates made and sell them York. Did I want to do the story? No, no time, but w h o ’s in stores.” But Davy went into the other room and got going to be in Chicago this weekend? He was really in no Peter Tork, brought him out with nothing on, he did, and position to refuse to help me, and I asked him would he said “Okay, here." And there were about thirty people ask Steve Miller to cooperate, I really want to witness a around, some of the Buffalo Springfield were there and casting and I had a pretty good idea the Plaster Casters oh, it was a scene. would go for him, such a pretty face. So I had called uBright one over here,” Rennie flips her hand toward Miller earlier that day and I told him I’d already located ]Li$a, “takes hold of his rig and starts hand-jobbing him. the Plaster Casters and would be arriving at the club with T h ey ’re all sitting around waiting for me to do something. them. I grabbed his rig too. We both had our hands on it. Some­ “Whew!” he answered. “I’ve just been sitting here writing body got on the piano and started playing Lovely Rita Meter a tune and now, this, wow, it makes it all so freaky.” But Maid. It was — like a movie! Steve Miller already knew about the Plaster Casters — “Then Dewey Martin of the Springfield takes off his remember, th ey ’re legend in San Francisco, legend. pants and drags me over to the couch — too much!” We arrive at this little asshole-of-a-club out in the Illinois Later Rennie got .up and went into the kitchen. Opening sticks full of beery high school kids. They are generally the can of alginates she cut her hand severly on the metal noisy except for a small crowd of blues heads and girls strip. There was blood all over the place and they had to three and four deep hanging glassy-eyed over the stage. tourniquet her. Then they all got mad and went to bed. The vibrations are fair to middling and I have a sinking “Th ey ’re so stupid. The Afon-keeees!" feeling things are not going to work out. Then there was that awful time with the Detroit Wheels, The Miller Band is down to three — leader Steve Miller; though it ’s funny when she thinks about it now. Rennie Tim Davis, the drummer and the bass player, Lonnie d id n ’t particularly like that organ player who brought her Turner. Rennie has her eyes on Lonnie, that girl d o e s n ’t to the hotel room, but she was nuts about his music. “He miss a trick, she’s-edging-toward-the-backstage-door-work- was kind o f a turd,” she recalls. ing-hcr-way-through-the-crowd. “There was another one in the group that I liked and But the set is over and — omigod, no! — th e re’s Lisa, I thought if the drummer took me back with him to the talking to Lonnie. And Rennie bristles and trembles and hotel, I’d get to see the other one.” No such luck. Rennie g-l-a-r-e-s at her. But Lisa d o e s n ’t see and Rennie, crest­ was in the room, stuck there with the drummer. fallen, makes her way into the tiny dressing room in back “I w o u ld n ’t ball him. He had my clothes off and he of the stage where Miller is in a really weird mood. threw me out of bed. He w o u ld n ’t give me my clothes "Did you see that kid give me a cheeseburger? A cheese­ back, he just said ‘Okay, get out.’ And I had just gotten burger, he handed me a fucking cheeseburger!” this new outfit from my mother — sh e ’d be sure to notice Miller is rapping to some friends, an ex-member of the — not that I was nude, but that I didn't have my new band and his wife, and to distract Rennie, I point out a outfit with m e.” graffito on the dressing room wall. Someone has written But that was back when they were very young and d id n ’t Whatever became o f the plaster castors (sic) and Rennie really know who they wanted. I t ’s different these days; cracks up, th at’s very funny. She takes out a magic marker more organized, more professional. Rennie is dieting like pen and corrects the spelling error. Very dignified. mad for next week when Hendrix will be back in town and I introduce Rennie to Miller. “How do I know y o u ’re she can get to Noel again. And Saturday night, tomorrow, the real plaster caster?” he demands, all too eagerly. Rennie there is the Steve Miller Band . . . is not prepared for this. She hands him the card. Very prop­ er. But R en n ie’s mind is elsewhere, with Lonnie, the bass It is now Saturday early evening and we are in L isa ’s player who is maybe her very second best favorite popstar house in a flouncy g ir l’s bedroom, all pink and white and next to Noel Redding. precious. And there are posters and popstars pictures and Lisa is still talking to Lonnie. “We usually divide them hundreds of albums. Traffic, Procol Hamm, Rhinocerous, up between ourselves,” Rennie complains miserably. “She the Beatles, the Stones — pretty good taste, I must confess, knows I like him . . . w h at’s she doing to me?” not a chickenshit album in the bunch. And there is another complication. T h ere’s Gail, this And Rennie is assembling the plaster kit, putting all the grotesque skinny painted Henna redhead who knew the paraphernalia in a little briefcase with a sign on it, “The Miller band in San Francisco and she wants Lonnie too, Plaster Casters of Chicago.” That briefcase has become oh, no! their trademark, and a well respected one at that. The And now Rennie is chastising Lisa for talking to Lonnie underground radio station knows about them and so do all first and th ey ’re both upset and th ey ’re not sure they want the club owners who let them into the clubs for free now. to go to the Holiday Inn after all, but, well, we have a ride After all, th ey ’re celebrities in their own right. and everything, and Ron has to go look after the Blue They lovingly show me the casts and allow me to photo­ Cheer and v e d o n ’t want to do that, do we. So? Are we graph them and other mementos, the signs, the apparatus going — yes? — no? — Yes. in the plaster casting kit and a ll. And I read their letters We get to the Holiday Inn in Elk Grove and walk into and they proudly show me their clipping file. But it ’s the room and there are Steve Miller and Tim Davis from getting late, you know, the Steve Miller Band goes on in the band and some company and — damn! — Gail! — an hour and The Cellar is all the way out in the suburbs who somehow got there before us. And oh, th e re ’s going so w e’d just better hurry. to be trouble. Groupies, even Plaster Casters, must deal I knew they were going to be in Chicago that weekend. with competition on some honorable level (like the Plaster Their press agent, Mike Gershman, had called from L. A. Casters give out the G T O ’s cards and the G T O ’s return

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the favor) and th e re ’s Gail. Ahead of them. Entitled. What But I want to talk about plaster casting in the cab and a bringdown. I tell him I d o n ’t want another passenger in the car. The Miller is still bitchy. “Let’s hear this, girls, what is this driver shrugs and casts the hooker an apologetic, maybe about what you do?" But Rennie is in no mood to discuss a disappointed, look and we walk outside. “They probably it, no mood at all. Lonnie is in his room across the hall and want to make love to each other,” the hooker spits. Miller is badgering her mercilessly. Marie is there and Lisa On the way back to the house I am made aware of an­ is whining because after all, it ’s so uptight and sh e ’s all other dynamic. Gail is very pissed. She wanted Lonnie but retired from being a plaster caster and she just d o e sn ’t too. And that makes it almost certain that sh e ’ll go after want to be there at all, not after how Rennie bitched at her Noel when Hendrix gets into town the first week in D e­ for talking to Lonnie first. I resign myself that I’m not cember. I t ’s sort of like defending her honor in groupie going to see a plaster casting tonight. Shit! society. And Rennie is so upset . . . The girls are going into L o n n ie ’s room because th a t’s I’m still disappointed I d id n ’t get to see a plaster cast. where they left the kit. I assume th ey ’ll gather it up and Lisa gives me cherry-flavored cigarette papers and Rennie w e’ll all go home. Tim, the drummer, a swaggering randy kisses me goodbye at the airpoirt. I leave Chicago with my tall black man, checks out L o n n ie ’s room and comes back tapes and my photographs, but somehow without my fa­ guffawing. “They chickened out! I was all ready but they vorite shirt, and I fly back to New York. d o n ’t wanna cast tonight. I told them if they had a change o f heart. I’m ready — my jools will still be h ere!’’ I ’ve received a letter from Rennie. Dear Ellen, W h ere’s Lisa? Someone comes out o f the road m a n a ger’s Here is your shirt (it is magnificent!) Ron drove me over room and says sh e ’s in there if I’m looking for her. T h ey ’re to the hotel and I started setting scared when he started playing the new Beatles album and, yes, it ’s cool to go in talking about, do we ever plate people without casting 'em, there. I knock on the door but it ’s open and I walk in and but I stared out the window the entire journey and he didn't th e re’s the road manager lying on his back on the bed with pursue it further. nothing on, th e re ’s a towel under his ass and Lisa is fondling his rig and absently looking at the color TV where What groups do we want pictures of? Oh, goodness al­ Abbie Hoffman is doing verbal jousting with Chicago City most everybody, if y o u ’d really like to know. Well, Hendrix, College Cancellor Shebat, Dizzy Gillespie, Robert Q. Lewis, Procol Harum, Traffic, Jeff Beck, The Who & Steppenwolf Pete Seeger and some others. It d o e sn ’t look as if h e’s doing and D ia n n e’s and my fave raves but could I get anything on too well but the sound is off and I ca n ’t tell. The Beatles the Bee Gees, Small Faces, Doors or The Herd for my album is playing and there in the comer on a chair is Gail groupie compatriots. Oop — almost forgot — and Rhino- with her eyes glued hungrily on the bed scene. cerous! I ’m, ah — unsettled. I turn and stare at the TV pretend­ Only six more shopping days ’til Jimi Hendrix. Does my ing to be intrigued while I panic and try to figure out how stomach ever know it! (For the week before Hendrix to split the room fast without putting everyone on a comes to town, my stomach always goes nuts.) bummer. I turn and leave all in one gasp, mumbling some­ Maybe by the time you get this we will have casted Terry thing about cigarettes. f^cid. Oh. boy!! I close the door behind me and across the hall T im ’s When are you coming back to Chicago? When, when? I door is opening. Steve Miller is gone. The guests and friends am already missing you, my dear Ellen. Do you have any are leaving. Rennie, I correctly surmise, is with Lonnie. pictures up there of yourself that you can send me? Send Lisa was with the road manager. And I’m standing here in them along with a nice fat letter, would you? SOON!!! the hall with my face hanging out. It’s the middle of the Practically all my love night and I’m not even sure where the hell I am, what (Noel's got the rest) does "Elk Grove" mean to me? I d o n ’t know what cab Rennie company to call, the desk is closed and I forget the address On the envelope there is a design constructed out of the of the place I’m staying and whatthefuckamigonna^o? 1 letters in ’Elle n ," and in the corner is this note: "Partially stand there, th a t’s what I do. I am hoping that Tim is, finished token of my love to you. Due to Terry R e id ’s road um, a gentleman . . . manager calling up and saying come on over (and NO ONE knows th ey ’re in town yet). So must cease this and hasten to get the kit ready.” The morning after. The boys in the band are checking On the back of the envelope, neatly lettered: out of the hotel and everybody is saying goodbye and Steve Miller is really irritable. H e’s looking at me, half surprised to see me there. He knows Rennie was with Lonnie and “ TODAY TERRY REID, Lisa was with the road manager and h e’s figuring I was TOMORROW THE WORLD!” with Tim, and boy, h e’s pretty crabby ’ca u se he spent the night alone. And in my mind I’m going hahahahah, eat your Maybe by now they do indeed have Terry Reid casted. heart out you stupid garbagemouth, bugging the Plaster But then again, maybe not. Because Rennie is a true plaster Casters like that, hahahahah. caster, yes, an artist, a pioneer, right up there in the front We girls call a cab and eat breakfast in the dining room lines of the new morality. But rock and roll rigs, object while we wait for it to arrive. When it comes and we have d'art or no, are rigs nonetheless and ever so, well, dis­ to take a few minutes to pay the check, get the change, tracting. leave the tip, meanwhile the driver is trying to convince And Rennie, bless her little rock and roll heart, is first this prostitute to come in the cab with us. h e’ll take her and foremost a super groupie. And th a t’s a very high art along bcause her cab is late. in itself.

November, 1948 19 http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT The REALIST Issua Mm_L, _ scans of this entir« ^ Umber 84 - November, 1968 - Page 3ue found at: http://www.ep.tc/realist/84

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" • • • No, madame, we are NOT “The 175th anniversary of our Resistance! — and shocked by the current Nude still no sign that the other side is willing to stop ^ook, See-Through, Peek-a-Boo the slaughter, or negotiate!” Backless and Topless styles. On the contrary; remember, we ad­ minister the recently-passed Truth ‘You ’ll have to wait. The girls in Packaging ]a w ." are conducting a slow-down.”

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__And to my brother, James, I leave my newer kidney and both ventricles; to my nephew William, 4 feet of small intestine and an excellently working cornea; to my sister- in-law Millicent ...”

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e d f is h e r ’s

p u g e

lie started here as a worker-priest, worked his way up to foreman-priest, and now he's hand-in-glove with the “—I understand it's for a drama about the founding of the management-priests." Kcpuhlic, hv I.eltoi Jones.”

“—And if the Establishment denies us our rights as a special minority, we start think­ "When I told you to question everything, ing up costly little ways to harass it. dis­ v didn't mean question Herbert Marcuse!” rupt it, even if necessary smash it! . .

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CRIME AND BEDSIDE to 29 (30 per cent) . . . had no disease not be considered valid permission. In whatsoever” In some hosoitals, the per­ the strictly legal sense o f the terms, then, (Continued from Back Cover) centage of superfluous hysterectomies ran a surgeon who operates unnecessarily on A degree of medical ineptness that as high as 66 per cent. a patient, obtaining his consent by mis­ would be scandalous, if the public had A surgeon with a tincture of mercy in representing the operation as necessary, not stopped being scandalized by medical his soul d o e s n ’t like to de-sex a healthy is committing assault and battery, as well scandals, is revealed in the extraordinarily woman who has never done him any as fraud, and the general practitioner who works with him is an accessory to the high death toll from unnecessary blood harm, particularly when she is young and transfusions. Dr. Max H. Simon, a New pretty, and could probably bear lovely crime. If the patient dies, the crime be­ York State surgeon, in an address to the children for some lucky man. The kick- comes homicide. International College of Surgeons, stated back system which enfolds so many doc­ The facts arc not generally stated as that the annual death rate from three tors, however, leaves no room for com ­ baldly as this. It is de rigeur to treat the major complications of blood transfusions passion. assaults and homicides o f doctors with the greatest respect. The doctor is, in totaled 16,500. Dr. Ben J. Wilson, chair­ Say the woman has a harmless fibroid fact, the only kind o f criminal who not man o f the surgery department o f the tumor in her uterus that will probably merely goes unpunished for the very University o f Texas Northwestern’s Med­ never give her any trouble, and doesn't gravest o f crimes, but is paid by the vic­ ical School comments: . . one cannot in any case warrant an operation now. tim for committing assault and homicide dispute the fact that there is a tremen­ If the surgeon sends her away, the gen­ on him dous loss o f life and induced illness from eral practitioner who spotted the tumor this procedure." Dr. B. P. L. Moore, an and referred her to him will stop giv­ He comports himself with the greatest eminent Canadian doctor, has cited evi­ ing him his business. Many— possibly dignity under the circumstances, remov­ dence indicating that in the great major­ most—general practitioners rely on sur­ ing the internal organs o f healthy and ity o f deaths from transfusions, the trans­ geons' kickbacks to pad their incomes to unhealthy people with strict impartiality, fusions were probably unnecessary. Since the levels at which income tax exasion if he is fair, and concentrating on the doctors have been repeatedly warned by becomes worth-while. The loss o f pos­ healthy o n e s, if he isn't. Throughout ac­ knowledgeable colleagues about the risks sibly several hundred dollars is one the tivities which might very well depreciate in this area, a plea o f ignorance is not as general practitioner will not forgive. Since a lesser man. he maintains his self-respect, understandable as it would be in the case a su r g e o n ’s practice depends almost entire­ the respect o f the victim, the esteem of o f so many other medical matters. ly on referrals from general practitioners, hi*: colleagues, and the firm support o f his Dr. Walter C. Alvarez, noted doctor a small amount of honesty and decency professional association. and columnist, points out that a trans­ on the su r g e o n ’s part can push him a long Medical sources almost invariably state fusion o f a pint o f blood is often routinely way down the road toward bankruptcy. that fee-splitting in engaged in by only prescribed after a minor operation. The Many patients inevitably die under a small percentage of doctors. There are blood isn ’t needed; even if it were, a pint the unnecessary surgery promoted by the no statistics to confirm that the percent­ w o u ld n ’t be enough to do any good. It is, kickback system, martyrs to the general age is small: there are statistics that in­ however, capable o f doing a great deal practitioner's need to keep body and soul dicate it is large. Possibly our medical of harm— which seems to intrigue doc­ together in the style to which he has be­ sources ntean that the percentage is small tors. The prevalent feeling seems to be, come accustomed. compared to one hundred per cent. anything that harms patients ca n ’t be all Additional clues to the amount of un­ "The report has been made," states bad. necessary surgery can be obtained by not­ Prof. Sutherland, noted explorer o f the The death rate from blood transfusions ing the volume o f operations before and jungles of white collar crime, "that two- exceeds that form appendicitis. Consider­ after a hospital is accredited by the thirds of the surgeons in New York City ing that many o f the people who die after American College of Surgeons—a citadel split fees, and that more than half of the a transfusion required only a minor op­ o f honesty and competence that flour­ physicians in a north central state who eration, and consequently had little wrong ishes most implausibly in a climate answered a question on the point favored with them to begin with, it isn ’t unfair to thoroughly hostile to it. The College fee-splitting." say that doctors are better at weeding watches very carefully for evidences of I he American Medical Association has out the fit, than nature is at eliminating fee-splitting and needeless surgery, causing n ever made an authoritative investiga­ the unfit. many fees as well as patients to stay in tion of the extent of fee-splitting, prob­ ably because it doesn't have a nig big Biggest current medical need is for one piece. enough to sweep the results under. Be­ some acceptable procedure that will per­ The eminent Dr. Paul Hawley, when he was chief o f the College, cited a hos­ sides, fee-splitting is condoned by the mit u doctor to collect his fee without A.M.A. * An investigation by the A.M.A. obliging him to earn it by damaging the pital whose surgery rate plummeted from 796 operations in the year before ac­ would require it to probe itself, condemn patient. itself and possibly fire itself—commend­ Dr. Ray Trussell, a fine and courageous creditation to 298 the following one— with the patient h ad remaining the same. able activities that arc not likely to com ­ doctor, and the former New York City mend themselves to the Association. Fee­ Commissioner of Hospitals, has called Appendectomies dropped from 305 to 66 — indicating, among other things, that ac­ splitting. it is worth noting, is a specific for the imposition o f financial sanctions violation of the law in twenty-three states, on incompetent doctors. Since doctors creditation may be a better cure for ap­ pendicitis than surgery. It is not at all and a violation of the conditions of ad­ would most likely pass on these extra ex­ mission to the practice of medicine in all penses to their patients, the chief result impossible, in view o f available statistics, that the total number o f unnecessary op ­ slates. would probably be an increase in the While doctors arc just like business men cost of getting incompetent medical care. erations performed solely for profit out­ number the necessary ones— a matter that in their enthusiastic contempt for ethics, A great many operations—whether the law and the public, a significant dif­ has not been given the attention it de­ competently or incompetently done— are ference is worth noting. The business man serves by our criminologists. unnecessary. Dr. James C. Doyle, who works his mischief at a considerable dis­ made a study of hysterectomies per­ A surgical operation performed with­ tance from his victim. He remains remote formed on 6,248 women, stated that out the consent of the patient, where no one-third o f the operations “seemed to emergency exists, constitutes an assault, • l*r. Robert Myer*, former peppery executive of the American College of Surgeon*, eite* ■* be unwarranted." Dr. Doyle added: “An according to the law. When consent is evtitenee A M.A. upproval of payment* by *ur- appalling number o f the patients aged 20 obtained by misrepresentation, it can­ ueon* to referring or n»«Utinir phyaiclan*.

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from the unpleasantness he creates, and West Germany, while never approved by tors. it seems, are not only willing to is never forced into the character-building the U.S. government for sale here, was practice corruption; they arc ready to effort of contemplating it. nevertheless distributed to 1,267 doctors do so on the same thrifty level as a cop The doctor, on the other hand— the for tests on patients. The two and a half tearing up a summons in return for a surgeon, say, who performs an unneces­ million pills or substantial fraction there­ sixty-cent bribe. Corruption itself may sary operation— works closely and inti­ o f that circulated on their poisonous er­ be brought into disrepute by tactics so mately with his victim. Confronted by the rands undoubtedly caused considerable inimical to good image building. The evil of what he is doing, he rises to and numbers o f children to be bom defective. menace has. however, been ignored. The transcends the moral challenge, convinc­ Perhaps such occurrences may be avoided profession’s motto remains, a doctor can ing himself in some marvelous fashion in the future by paying doctors for not do no wrong, especially when so many that his action is useful, or necessary, or testing pills. doctors arc doing it. unavoidable, and therefore proper. The illegal activities o f doctors arc not, Lawbreaking extends, as may be ex­ Like the Greek Fates who sent people o f course, restricted to fee-splitting, or pected, to the apex o f the medical pro­ to their doom, he sends his victims to the unnecessary poisoning, assaulting, de­ fession. On Dec. 20, 1938. a Federal theirs, contemplating the tragedy he may forming, maiming and killing o f people. Grand Jury indicted the American Med­ be wreaking impersonally, with neither Doctors arc busy people, and their range ical Association, three of the societies af­ pity nor joy. The fee-splitting surgeon o f crimes reflects this. Sutherland sum­ filiated with it. and twenty-one assorted and his general practitioner colleagues marizes these illegal activities; "In the physicians for violation o f the Sherman arc each responsible for the cutting off. medical profession . . . arc found illegal anti-trust act. The A.M.A. had been at­ in their lifetimes, o f possibly hundreds of sales o f alcohol and narcotics, abortion, tempting to intimidate doctors affiliated pounds o f healthy human flesh, through­ illegal services to underworld criminals, with a Group Health plan in the Dis­ out which they maintain a greater tran­ fraudulent reports and testimony in ac­ trict o f Columbia. quility and peace o f mind than Shylock cident cases, fraud in income tax returns, The Association vigorously defended it­ would have experienced in carving out extreme instances o f unnecessary treat­ self in a long scries of court actions his pound. ment and surgical operations, fake spe­ against the outrageous and accurate It is this great achievement, perhaps, cialists. restriction o f competition and fee- charges, and was just as vigorously and that builds the self-esteem of many doc­ splitting." repeatedly found guilty. Very little was tors to outsize proportions. Who could Fraud in relation to phony accident done to punish the A.M.A. aside from soar so high above good and evil without claims is particularly popular. The N .Y. fining it S2.500— a considerably smaller being worthy o f the greatest admiration State Board o f Regents, which reported financial punishment than the courts in­ and respect? in 1962 on a criminal investigation of curred in bringing justice to the Associa­ As noteworthy as the medical and 1500 New York City physicians charged tion. surgical treatment doctors give to patients with inflating bills for insurance claims, The p u b lic ’s growing distrust of the stated that the swindling practiced by all who d o n ’t need it. is the failure to give medical profession worries some of its such treatment to persons who do. An too many doctors in New York “staggers members. The problem is to keep the the imagination." Considering the less A.M.A. committee report in 1961 con­ public from becoming more suspicious ceded the point, admitting that some doc­ beneficial activities doctors could engage without giving up (he activities that arouse tors were guilty o f many abuses, ranging in instead, the public should be grateful. suspicion. from unnecessary medical or surgical It is common and respectful to say that One most embarrassing matter is the treatment to failure to respond to calls relatively few doctors engage in criminal near-impossibility o f getting a doctor to for medical assistance. A milestone o f activities. Honest, careful and disrespect­ testify to the malpractice o f another doc­ sorts has been reached, when a doctor ful investigations of medical crime have, tor. A public that refuses to look at mat­ will agree to treat a patient only if it however, in instance after instance, im­ ters in the proper perspective— the per­ isn ’t necessary. plicated a majority o f physicians. In mass spective of the underworld—considers this anti-trust actions initiated by the U. S. evidence that even honest doctors arc ac­ Physicians who refuse aid are nume­ Department o f Justice against opthamo- cessories to the crimes of the others. rous— one doctor in two • has stated he loeists feye specialists) for instance, a w o u ld n ’t stop to help an auto accident The reluctance of the honest doctor to victim, if he saw one stretched out on the majority were found to have been crim- break out o f the conspiracy against the road. Europeans— Frenchmen, say—would inallv involved in price fixing and kick- public and peach on a colleague is un­ never understand this; a d o c t o r ’s failure backs to other doctors. derstandable— revenge is as certain as to aid a sick or injured person is con­ In 1948. th e I. o s Angeles Better Busi­ it is in the underworld. The criminal who ness Bureau warned that 70 per cent o f testifies against a fellow crook is likely sidered a crime in France. In the U. S., punishing doctors for not extending aid the doctors in the area were receiving re­ to lose his life: the doctor, his livelihood. bates from medical supply houses, phar­ Considering the alternatives, however, to people in need o f it is as unthinkable unemployment may not be so bad. as jailing them for doing persons harm. macies. opticians and laboratories. D oc­ Another grey area doctors slink through with characteristic dignity is the testing of new possibly dangerous drugs on un­ suspecting patients. The doctor gives the patient a drug which may make his con­ dition worse, or even kill him. in return A ndroid’ for which he collects a fee from the drug (thyroid-androgen) company, and another fee from the grate­ TABLETS ful patient. The least a man of conscience would do in such circumstances is not Effectiveness confirmed by another double blind study* charge the patient for endangering his SUMMARY ]. ?. Fort/ ca te * reported. life, or pay his funeral expenses. GOOD TO EXCELLENT 75x 3. Cites synergitm between androgen ANDROID and thyroid. Thalidomide, a drug responsible for de­ 4. No tide effect* in patients treated. 5. Alleviation of fatigue noted forming thousands of babies born in 6. Cat# bittorie* on 4 patient*. PLACEBO 7. Although psychotherapy ttlll needed, role of chemotherapy cannot be ditputed • According to a Medieot Tribune p o ll o f 1.200 d octor*. Soft-Core Pornography: The Leaning Tower of Penis

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only makes a fuss over unlicensed incom­ petents. CRIME AND THE BEDSIDE MANNER ji The prevalence of medical incompetence in general was highlighted by a Colum­ bia University study of medical care in by Saul Heller The law requires the docior to be qual­ New York City hospitals under the Blue ified, but does not bestir itself to see that Cross program. One-fifth of the pa­ There are ingenuous people left in our he is. Neither do the medical associations. tients were found to have received “poor society who expect members of the pro­ It is not strange, in consequence, that half care," another fifth received only “fair fessions to live up to professional stand­ the operations in the United States are care." Onc-fifth of the hospital admis­ ards o f honesty. This is, of course, ex­ performed by incompetents — general sions were considered unnecessary. In a pecting too much. Standards in these practitioners who have no business prac­ fifth of the gcneral-care surgical cases, areas, as in most others, arc simply div­ ticing surgery, according to the American there seemed to have been unjustified de­ ing platforms— heights from which to College of Surgeons. Considering the high lays in performing the surgery. The qual­ reach the depths suitable for successful incomes doctors have achieved—even a ity of the surgery in twenty per cent of functioning. mediocre general practitioner makes the surgical cases was considered "p o o r ,” Some optimists feel that education is $20,000 or more per year—what the coun­ and only “fair" in another twenty-six per the key to a crime-free society. Well-edu­ try needs are physicians as expert in med­ cent. A Red Cross program would not cated professionals, however, find crim­ ical operations as they arc in financial ones. have been entirely out of place, to aid inal activity as congenial as high school A study made in New Jersey indicated the Blue Cross survivors. drop-outs do, making it necessary to get that not one doctor in the state went to According to testimony given by Dr. a different key—or change the lock. a general practitioner for surgery when he Walter Modell before a Senate subcom­ or a member of his family needed it. They The unethical and criminal practices of mittee. one of every twenty patients in went to specialists, often traveling to an­ doctors in the U. S. are particularly in­ hospitals is there because the drugs pre­ other state to get optimum attention. teresting, in view of the great respect with scribed for him made him worse. The W hat’s good enough for a sick patient is which doctors are treated. Substantial trouble may perhaps be traced to the fact not quite good enough for his doctor, numbers of doctors send people to hos­ that the drug company copywriter on when he becomes ill. A general practi­ pitals who d o n ’t require hospitalization, whom ihe doctor relies so heavily is bet­ tioner must get the best of care, to give practice surgery without the qualifica­ ter at promoting drugs than at practicing his patient possibly the worst of it. tions for doing so. and possibly create medicine. Since surgery by unqualified physi­ more sickness and disability than they Dr. Allan M. Butler told the same sub­ cians can and does lead to disability and cure.t committee that ten to fifteen per cent of death, and is proscribed by the law. one the nation's physicians practice “bad me­ The assumption that a d o c to r ’s primary might expect it to be punished. The law dicine.” This most conservative figure still function is to make sick people well in­ isn ’t that intolerant, of course. A gen­ means that many thousand of people dicates a degree of unsophistication that eral practitioner dabbling in surgery is must run risks of serious illness and death, can be dangerous to life. While there are likely to get into deeper and hotter water certainly many fine and ethical doctors by advocating an increase in Medicare to promote the well-being of doctors —mine, and possibly yours—this article for old and sick people, than by operat­ whose chief qualifications for treating will consider the numerous physicians ing on and killing them off. Not too long people is their business acumen. An whose chief function is to get money for ago, a New Jersey osteopath who used ethical profession would weed out its in­ treating people, without reference to their improperly sterilized needles knocked off competents: the A.M.A. prefers to let degree of illness or health. twelve patients, without incurring any le­ them weed out their patients. As a matter o f fact, at least half of the gal penalty worth speaking of. The law (Continued on Page 22) d o c t o r ’s patients are not sick at all—phy­ sically sick •—and if he sent them all to psychiatrists, it w ou ld n ’t be long before economic worries made him ready to join them. The unethical and criminal practices of doctors are due, not merely to the insuf­ ficiency of genuine physical illness among people who circulate in and out of doc­ tors’ offices, but also to the difficulty of diagnosing and treating real illness. Treat­ ing non-existent illness, manufacturing it. and making existing illness worse are considerably simpler than curing the ge­ nuine article, making them more important than the sideline of healing the sick.

* Dr. Warren F. Draper, former Deputy Sur- Keon General of the United States, has com­ mented: "Unnecessary *ur«ery performed by reasonably competent physicians who know bet­ ter, but want the money, is hard on the pa­ tient . . . closely related are the services per­ formed bv physicians who know they are not qualified for certain work but who will attempt almost anything In order to retain the fee. The results are often gruesome." • Dr. Walter C. Alvarcr, Mayo Clinic doctor, says: "My own figures show that for one mildly psychotic person who consults a psychiatrist, there are fourteen who see a general practi­ tioner. an internist, a surgeon or a quack." Ac­ cording to Dr. Walter L. Palmer, of the Uni­ versity of Chicago, emotional disturbances "All half of our hospital beds and half of the doc­ tors’ office*.” http://www.ep.tc/realist THE REALIST ARCHIVE PROJECT