Touching at Depth: Intimate Spaces in the Japanese Family By Diana Adis Tahhan A thesis submitted in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy University of New South Wales 2007 ORIGINALITY STATEMENT ‗I hereby declare that this submission is my own work and to the best of my knowledge it contains no materials previously published or written by another person, or substantial proportions of material which have been accepted for the award of any other degree or diploma at UNSW or any other educational institution, except where due acknowledgement is made in the thesis. Any contribution made to the research by others, with whom I have worked at UNSW or elsewhere, is explicitly acknowledged in the thesis. I also declare that the intellectual content of this thesis is the product of my own work, except to the extent that assistance from others in the project's design and conception or in style, presentation and linguistic expression is acknowledged.‘ Signed …………………………………………….............. Date …………………………………………….............. ii COPYRIGHT STATEMENT ‗I hereby grant the University of New South Wales or its agents the right to archive and to make available my thesis or dissertation in whole or part in the University libraries in all forms of media, now or here after known, subject to the provisions of the Copyright Act 1968. I retain all proprietary rights, such as patent rights. I also retain the right to use in future works (such as articles or books) all or part of this thesis or dissertation. I also authorise University Microfilms to use the 350 word abstract of my thesis in Dissertation Abstract International (this is applicable to doctoral theses only). I have either used no substantial portions of copyright material in my thesis or I have obtained permission to use copyright material; where permission has not been granted I have applied/will apply for a partial restriction of the digital copy of my thesis or dissertation.‘ Signed ……………………………………………........................... Date ……………………………………………........................... AUTHENTICITY STATEMENT ‗I certify that the Library deposit digital copy is a direct equivalent of the final officially approved version of my thesis. No emendation of content has occurred and if there are any minor variations in formatting, they are the result of the conversion to digital format.‘ Signed ……………………………………………........................... Date ……………………………………………........................... iii ABSTRACT Touch, as it is conventionally conceived, appears to be lacking in Japanese intimate relationships. Physical or visible forms of intimate touch are generally relegated to particular body practices or contexts such as co-bathing and co-sleeping, and are usually uncharacteristic of everyday experiences of intimacy. Instead, Japanese relationships are commonly defined in terms of subtle forms of communication, such as ishin denshin (heart-to-heart communication) and ittaikan (feelings of oneness), where feelings are expected to be inferred. However, it is unclear as to how such forms manifest feelings of closeness in the first place. This study opens up these feelings of closeness through exploring the embodied experience and tangible connection in the intimate spaces of the Japanese family. It describes a relational experience of space, depth and touch that is beyond the scope of conventional theories of the body. Drawing on Japanese sociologies of the body as well as other sociological tools that are relevant to everyday Japanese experiences, this study also offers universal contributions to the understandings of how touch can exist as a manifestation of intimacy. The first part of the thesis introduces the reader to the critical concepts and theories driving the study. The key ideas and understandings of Japanese relationships are also considered, leading to the suggestion that a conceptual understanding of embodiment will add to such literature. Part One concludes with a specific investigation of my field research on intimacy in Japan. The second part of the thesis explores how skinship (intimacy through touch) exists and feels in Japanese parent-child and marital relationships. A theory of touch is developed, via Japanese relationships, which is not iv restricted to physical or visible forms of touch. Described as touching at depth, this theory explores alternative ways of understanding experiences of intimacy that are not necessarily linked to tactile feeling or spatial closeness. Although bodily forms of touch exist in some relationships, other relational states become significant to feelings of connectedness, particularly as the child grows older. The third part of the thesis explores this shift, along with how the Japanese child adapts to the world, when their initial ways of touching no longer exist. Emphasis here is not just on primary ‗home‘ relationships, but also on teacher-child relationships, and the way familial relationships shift as the child moves back and forth between the home and world. It becomes clear in Part Three that touch becomes felt differently as the child grows older and feels their significance and connection with the world in more encompassing ways. v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to extend my appreciation to my two supervisors, Associate Professor Andrew Metcalfe and Dr William Armour. Andrew‘s support and encouragement has carried me throughout the most difficult times of my candidature and his work has truly changed my life. William‘s critical feedback, and demand for clarity, is also most appreciated. I would like to thank Shannon McDermott, Duncan McDuie-Ra, Leanne Dowse, Nagisa Fukui, Motoko Sugano and Mathew Dal Santo, for their personal and professional support throughout my candidature. I appreciate the guidance and assistance from Masahito Takahashi, Glenda Roberts, Chihiro Thomson and Kazuhiro Teruya. I want to also thank James Roberson, who has provided guidance and generosity with his time. Thank you to the Munakata family, particularly Hatsue san, who helped organise my classes and affiliations in North East Japan. I found true peace sitting under their kōtatsu of a night time, contemplating with her, the world of intimacy. Also, thank you to my Tokyo family, the Yako‘s: without our initial experiences, this topic would never have come to life. And finally, thank you to all the women and men who shared their lives and stories with me. The tears that were shed in some meetings made it very clear to me that the world of intimacy is a much more complex feeling than can ever be described. I hope I do justice to their stories. I would like to extend a special thank you to all the friends and relatives who have remained patient and understanding of this project. In particular, I am indebted to my parents, Steve and Katina, and my siblings, Pauline and John, for their ongoing support throughout the many years this topic was my passion. Thank you for bringing me into vi the beautiful world of touch ever since I can remember, and keeping me there. I am also grateful to my Yia-Yia Andriana, for whom finishing has always been the most ―import‖ thing. And last of all, my husband Daniel, to whom I dedicate this thesis. Thank you, Ünggy, for embracing this thesis as a part of our family ever since the beginning. It has been your continual strength and confidence in me that has sustained me throughout. The very essence of touch and intimacy that emerged in this thesis was possible because of my loved ones. It is because of them that the love for this project developed, and has given me the ability to understand the infinite possibilities of love and intimacy. It is their hearts that are implicated in mine and in this very dissertation. vii TABLE OF CONTENTS ORIGINALITY STATEMENT ............................................................................................................... II COPYRIGHT STATEMENT ................................................................................................................ III AUTHENTICITY STATEMENT.......................................................................................................... III ABSTRACT .............................................................................................................................................. IV ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ..................................................................................................................... VI TABLE OF CONTENTS ...................................................................................................................... VIII NOTE ON THE TEXT .......................................................................................................................... XII PART ONE: LOCATING THE STUDY ................................................................................................. 1 CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION ...................................................................................................... 2 BACKGROUND TO THE STUDY .................................................................................................................. 3 PERCEPTUAL DIFFERENCES .................................................................................................................... 12 NEED FOR THE STUDY ............................................................................................................................ 17 PURPOSES OF THE STUDY ......................................................................................................................