APRIL ROUNDS CORNER FIRST MPUS Volume XXV Storrs, Connecticut, Tuesday, March 28, 1939 Z 88 No. 20 Catalog Appears FORESTRY.GROUP In About One Week Fraternities To Hold Dances Sports |! IN PROGRAM FOR Fee Reduction, Staff Changes, In- Start Spring Social Season PETERSON IS CAPTAIN crease In Enrollment, Announced WILDLIFE WEEK SET FOR GALA WEEKEND Herbert Peterson has been named A reduction of 10 dollars In tlio George McReynolds captain of the 1939 Football team, it Hosley atnd Hunter of Wesleyan Ad- dress Forestry Meeting on Prob- college fee, making the yearly tuitlcn- Will Replace Brewer City Club, Bond, Norwich Inn, Rock- was today announced by Coach J. lems of Game iil expenses at the College 150 dollars, ledge. Mohegan, To Be Sites of Orleans Christian. an increase in enrollment, several Maine Professor To Teach History Frat Dances "Pete" has been an end on the additions to the faculty, and a num- And Government Here varsity team tor two years, playing The Forestry Club held an open ber of course changes are announced regularly and never being out of a meeting last Thursday night at the in the 1939-40 Conn. State College Dr. George E. McReynolds, now Fonnals. Informal* and dinner game for more than a quarter. He is Community House in commemora- Catalog, which is to be released working in the history and govern- dances will be the order of spring so- a junior from East Hartford and a tion of National Wildlife Week. The about April 1. ment department at Maine Univer- cial affairs to be held shortly by all member of the varsity basketball and speakers were Professor Hosley of A total student enrollment of 1027. sity, has been secured to replace Dr. the fraternities on the hill. Most of baseball teams. the Forestry department and Dr. 713 men and 314 women is recorded, John W. Brewer, assistant professor the events will take place this Fri- Track Teams Lose Hunter, professor of zoology at Wes- with the following figures: 160 Sen- of history and government here, who day evening, though one will be held Both the Varsity and freshman leyan University. iors, 193 juniors, 269 sophomores, and will teach international affairs at Saturday and two more during the track teams went down to defeat at President Russell Potter opened the 406 freshmen. The addition of a new George Washington University in vacation. the hands of the Wesleyan Cardinals meeting and introduced the speakers curricula in Business Administration Washington. D. C. beginning next On Friday night. Theta Sigma Chi last Saturday afternoon at Middle- to the audience. haa been made; course additions and fall. and Alpha Phi will hold semi-formal town. The Varsity was defeated by a Professor Hosley spoke on "What substitutions for those discontinued Dr. Reynolds taught at Connecto- dances In Hartford: Shakes going to Bcore of 65-48 while the cubs were Wildlife Week Is and Means". He are announced. cut State College before when he the Hartford City Club, while Alpha repelled by the tune of 54-42. discussed the abundance of game in The 13 resignations which have oc- substituted for Mr. Andre Schenker, Phi has arranged a dinner dance in Wesleyan broke six cage records colonial timeu and the rapid decline curred among the faculty have been then on sabbatical leave, during the the Egyptian Room of the Hotel and took nine out of thirteen firsts. in their numbers due to unnecessary replaced completely, and nine addi- second semester of the school year Bond. On the same evening Eta Captain Harry Heermans of Wesley- slaughter. He also mentioned the tions have been made. Five staff 1934-35. At that time he taught his- I-ambda Sigma will be located at the an broke both the half-mile and mile toll taken by predatory animals, over- members are now absent from the tory courses. In the fall of 1935 he Hilltop House in East Hartford; records. He turned in a time of stocking, and improper environment. College on sabbatical leave. started teaching at Maine Univer- Alpha Gamma Hho will dine and 2:03.2 for the SS0 and a time of He stated that the recent increase in sity. dance formally at the Norwich Inn: 4:32.4 for the mile. Spence of State the numbers of both hunters and Dr. Reynolds received his B.A. at Pi Alpha I'i will also have a formal broke the cage record in the 45 yard fishermen has made it necessary to Student Senate Notes Indianna University; and taught dinner dance at the Rockledge Coun- low hurdles. He won in the time of further restrict hunting and fishing. there for two years while working on try Club; and Phi Mu Delta has se- :05.7. He spoke of the enjoyment and re- his master's degree. In 1937 he re- cured the Hotel Mohican in New Lon- Seymour Bloom was a high per- creation that people get from Wild- Edward Finn, '40 of Hartford, re- ceived his doctor's degree in Interna- don for its Formal dance. former for the day also. Bloom plac- life, from mere nature study, as well ported that Mr. Van Bibber had had tional Relations at Clark University. The Sigma Phi Gamma's formal is ed second in three events: the 16 as from hunting and fishing. the diving board examined by experts Author of several articles on the scheduled for Norwich Inn on Satur pound shot, running broad jump, and He stated that the first North and had found it to be safe. Far Eastern situation and Interna- day evening. Phi Epsilon Pi and Tau 45 yard low hurdles. Sid Anderson American Wildlife Conference, which Epsilon Phi will have their affairs Melvin Weber, '40 of Hartford, re- tional Relations, Dr. McReynolds is won a first place in the pole vault, was called together in 1936 by Pres- during vacation week. Tau Ep at ported that Miss Carr found it neces co-author of the book "Japan in and Hanna tied for first in the 440 ident Roosevelt, was to protect Wild- Seven Gables in Milford on Friday sary to have students carry their American Public Opinion", published yard run. Koch finished in a triple lile. and Phi Ep at Tuniblebrook Country meal tickets inasmuch as it was im- In 1937. tie In the high Jump. Johnson. Rice, Dr. Hunter spoke on "Stream Im- possible to know every student. How- Club in Bloomfleld on Saturday. and Wheaton all finished second in provement". Dr. Hunter is a special- ever, students forgetting their tick- their respective events. ist in fish pathology. He mentioned ets would not have to pay for that To Hold Conference Navickas and Hubbard were out- tin Black Ledge River, which has meal. Open Forum Of Women standing for the State frosh in their been very much improved by the ad- At Wesleyan Apr. 6 loss. The former won the 45 yard dition of artificial dams, shade trees, Edward Kuehn, '40 of West Hart- Talks Of Rule Change dash, finished second in the 45 yard ford, reported that a bus has been etc He stated that the results of the 500 Students Expected To Attend low hurdles, and a third in the broad experiment proved that the oxygen chartered for students wishing to Morris, Fraser. Weinstein, Fealrn. and Ninth Annual Science Confab jump. The latter placed second in the content of the water increased; and ride into Hartford and return at the Graves Elected To Committee 45 yard high hurdles and a third in Easter Vacation, said bus to leave on that the amount of natural fish food The ninth annual Connecticut Val- the high jump. Peterson. Bowen. Tui- Saturday, April 1, at one P.M. and such as Dobson flies. Hellgranites. ley Student Scientific Conference At the open forum for women stu- bou. took firsts in the 12 lb. shot. 880, etc. Increased greatly, return on Easter Sunday, April 9, at will be held at Williams College be- dents held last night in Holcomb and the mile events respectively. 6 P.M. ginning April 15. Drawing room at 8 o'clock ruling of Intra-Murals It was decided to remunerate the Approximately 500 students are ex- the W.S.G.A. Executive Council and At the conclusion of the first week Swarthmore Debaters former Editor and Business Manager pected to attend. Most of these will proposed changes in these rulings of Intra-mural volleyball competition. of the Connecticut Campus to the ex- be members of the Connecticut Val- were discussed. Alpha Phi is found at the top of the Meet Denlinger Team tent of $25 each, in view of the ley Scientific Conference, but it is A committee of students not on league standing with three victories discrepency between their salary and not necessary to belong to the group the Council was elected to investigate and no defeats. Sussman and Jackscn Uphold Nega- that of the present staff, considering, to attend the meeting. further possible changes and to make tive In Debate also the quality of the work rendered Professor Emeritus George A. a report on their findings at a later American International League and the profits realized. Parker, a member of the Harvard date. baseball pictures will be shown in Leonard Posner. '39 of Hartford, The committee chosen consists of the Armory on April 12 at eight Alfred Sussman. '41 of Willimantic. Zoology department has been engag- and Robert Jackson. '42 of Stamford. brought up the matter of a student ed to speak on Saturday morning in Ruby Morris. '40 of New Haven, p.m. being informed four weeks after the chairman; Marion Fraser. '39 of New met a two man team from Swarthmore Cliapin Hall. College, of Swarthmore. Pennsylvania, first of the semester that he had Students interested in getting Haven: Paula Weinstein, '40 of West- Rifle Team in debate in Beach 26c Sunday after- flunked out. A committee was formed transportation to the conference are port; Dorothy Fearn. '41 of Norwich- The varsity Rifle Team completed noon at 4:30 p.m. on the topic Re- to immediately look into the matter. to see Eugene Rosenblum, Hall 22 or town; and Mary-Virginia Graves, '42 its schedule last week with eight solved: "That the democratic na- The matter of the Pied Piper Box 454. of New Haven. wins and eleven losses. A team com- tions of the world should form an al- was discussed. It was decided that the posed of R. Preston. K. Thayer. A. Senate would see to it that Mr. quest. liance against the (asclstic powers." James Ferguson. '39 of Deep River, Sarratt. li. Hermann. H. Laxion, and France would be given every cooper- The Peace Day movement was dis- The debate was conducted in the was named chairman of the Caps and U. Garrigus, manager competed in the ation in the future in putting on the cussed. A resolution was passed to American style, consisting of two Gowns committee appointed by Leon- championship at Coast Guard. Pied Piper, rather than allow such a the extent that the Senate favored constructive 12 minute speeches for ard Posner. of Hartford, president of traditional event to disappear from the movement and would send a rep- each side and two six minute rebut- the College schedule. resentation to the meeting of the the senior class. Edward Moran. of The intra-mural swimming play- tals. Waterbury, and Roger Brundage of offs have been postponed until Mr. Perkins requested that the sen- committee putting it on: however, There was no decision, in keeping Storrs were also named to the com- ate aid in collecting funds for the the senate itself did not consider it some time after vacation. with the present trend of collegiate mittee. planting of trees on Arbor Day. The one of its functions to arrange a debating. The Connecticut team up- Senate decided to accede to his re- Peace Day meeting itself. held the negative side of the ques- CAPITOL = WILLIMANTIC tion. Announcing The Opening nil.. I HI.. SAT. 'I VK. M to VI'K. Isl A Special Purchase Shirley Temple in "THE I.1TTI.K. PRINCESS" with Richard Greene. Anita Louise, Ian Hunter. Cesar Romero. '2nd Hit of "KING OF CHINATOWN" with Akini Tmniroff. Inn Mn> Wone Of Ladies Pure Silk Hose in 3- SUNDAY—MONDAY thread chiffon and 7-thread ser- The Center Pharmacy "(UK SOCIETY" with Madeleine CMTO11, Fred MrHiirra.. vice in all the wanted new spring Shirh j Ross, also Jackie Cooper and Freddie Itartholomevi in shades. Make Our Store Your Headquarters "SPIRIT OF CULVER" TUESDAY—WEDNESDAY Only 59c pr. TEL. Hi »1 >l V1N Si. Maureen O'Sullhan. Henry Fonda. Ralph Bellamy in "LET US MII.UM ANTIC LITE" added attraction "TOM SAWYEB OKTBC I'lVK" with Donald O'Connor, Hilly Cook, l'orter Hall The H. C. Murray Co. Willimantic H u Ts ATHLETIC COACHES ARE TO BE FIRED SPORTS FRANR KEANEY MAY BE NEW MENTOR State Plays Yale In No Male Offsprings Cub Reporter Scoops Dedicating New Bowl Veteran Scribblers Cause Of Dismissal SLAI^TS Hall Million Dollar Stadium To He Mikal O'Blum (ills Exclusive Interview With Rabid .lorgeiisen Makes Offer To Shod] - Heady For Oct. Ml Game Sports Editor Nutmeg Sports Fan Coach: Guyer Moving l'|> The blue and white of Connecticut On Thursday, March >. tlie Conn. Suite Culli^i1 campus will be honored By All but one member of the College State will tangle with the blue and with the appearance of the famous Thomas Leonard Ballet Group. This dick LIEberman coaching staff will be released this while of Yale according to a state- company of dancers, noted for its polished and perfected terpsichorean Ycur favorite correspondent drain spring, it was learned this afternoon ment issued this morning by Athle- talents, has pained the esteem and respect of dance experts throughout the ed the foam from his beer mug. from unimpeachable sources close to tic Director George Van Bibber. This world. Without a doubt the group presents by fir the most lavish extras snapped up the brim of his chapeau. he president's office. intermingling of colors will lie in the agania in the entertainment field touay. The sports department, stepping climbed Into his jallopi and started si out of its usual •sphere of interests, extends a hearty welcome to this renown- In the janitorial lounging room form of a football game to be played pursuit fir news in a bloodhound on October 7 of- this year in the new ed troupe . . . Included among the ballet's headliners are several of the fin- fashion. Half a mile out of Willy your across the hall from the Jorgensin est dancers on the present-day stage. Mr. Leonard, who made theatrical his- hang-out, there were discovered on Zilch Bowl. This game will be part tory with his beautifully Interpreted routine. '"Afternoon of a Lame Ele- reporter picked up a knight of the of a dedicatory program that is beins road and with no regard for formality file letters recovered from the presi- phant", will be featured in his newly conceived "Concrete Mixer Waltz" . . dential waste has- COACH? arranged for the inauguration of Con- Besides Mr. Leonard, a novel trio, consisting of three dainty lads Charles pulled out his questionairre, trained necticut State College's new athletic ket which re- Brooks. Greek Papanos, and Arnle Schwoteky, will render an amusing piece his sights and fired away: stadium. Next year's football schedule "Cannnnball Serenade". Featured in this exhibition of intricate dance steps Your Reporter: "Are you a sports veal that the rea- hud to be rearranged in order to get are Brooks' belly and Schwolsky's legs which last month won for him the fan ?" son for the mass this game with Yale. title of Bandylegs champ of Somaliland. Greek will supply the local color Hitch-Hiker: Rabid, positively ra- firing is InsubOP Mr. Van Bibber said that work has with a series of cadenzas and rodenzas . . . Fairy-like and ethereal Is the dinalory anti-col- little story told in dance steps, entitled "Elves at Play". Jerauld Maine:. bid." Y.R. What do you think of C.S.C.'s lege spirit which HIS BOWL Victor Lukawsky, Swede Lindstroni, and Joseph Stella, attired in frilled lace allegedly has costumes enact their roles with rare finesse and skill . . . The piece de re- athletic teams'.'" sistance is a finely-drawn fantasy called "Tea Time for Susanne". Mr. H.H.—"Colossal, absolutely colossal" been displayed hy Leonard plays the title role. Jan Krzbrolski, hero of the play, is beautifully Y.R.—"Do you think the swimming the mentors. The portrayed by Angelo Verinis. The villain. Professor Geefle, a part which re- team could beat a rug and get a potent missives, quires a series of extremely difficult manipulations of the dancing slippers, clean decision?" written to a per- will be played by a follower of the Eurasian school of toe dancing, Samuel H.H.—"Yes. immaculately clean. spective replace 1 Orr . . . Included in the chorus, the finest and most coordinated group can They're the best squad in the coun- of the (alien be found, are such nimble chorines as Dwight Monnier, Herb Peterson, Shep gods, (addressed Lanchek, Henry Juan, Lenny Waldimer, and others equally talented . . . try—bar none." Everyone should gratefully accept Y.R.—"But we lost five meets and be- to Mr. Prank this opportunity to see this amazing sides look at Michigan." Keeney, chemis- Wm. Sweeney & Son performance for, according to per- H.H.—Five meets bah. not one by try department. DiC. sistent lumor. this season marks the more than forty poinls! Further- Rhode Island swan song of the troupe. Mr. Leonard more did Michigan come east to State college,) STATIONERY It 19 reported, has decided to extend stated that "oui FRANK KEANEY and swim us? No! They didn't dare, his activities and is entering the they knew very well what would coaches have failed us most miser- GREETING CARDS wrestling field. The future holds happen if they did." ably." much In store for this enterprising young man. We wish him succass in his new profession, but must pause in It was apparent that Dr. Albert N. a moment of sadness, as tears fill our eyes, and mourn the passing of such a FOR GOOD FOOD TRY (nine letter man) Jorgensen intended SENATOR ZILCH great movement as this T. J. Leonard Ballet group . . . (Editor's Note— to urge Dr. Keaney to take over the This afternoon, I received the resignation of one of my best men. I refer to CITY LUNCH duties of all those who are dismiss- already started on the stadium, which J. Edward Rubenstein. He went to Waukeegan to get this story for the 6?8 Main St. Willimantic ed. "It's okle dokle, Frank." he assur- is to have a seating capacity of sixty Campus and when he saw the performance of this group, he decided to give ed the blustery Keaney. "If you lived 24 Hour Service thousand. The state legislature made up journalism and spend the rest of his natural life in creating dance thru that last game with us you can maneuvers for the troupe. With the passing of Leonard, it is expected that Tel. 2210 its appropriation of $500,000 with the J. Edward will have by that time learned enough about the racket to have stand anything. You won't have to provision that the stadium be finished assumed the title role . . . One never knows what one will do for a living teach chemistry, and I'll handle the by October 5. The stadium is to be At this point your reporter took these days. I wonder if I could get a job in the chorus? 1 can stand on my complimentary tickcis myself." named after State Senator Aloissius time out to go into tantrum. Time in— In :ul i The proxy then asked the health of Zilch, who was instrumental in gett- • • • • • Round 2 — Y.R. comes oul swimring: ing the legislature to vote for this "How did you like the basketball Herr Keaney's sons and reminiesed I was requested to run the following advertisement—Wanted—Someone appropriation. team; pretty hot mesh-swishers, eh about the athletic prowess of these to take me to the Junior Prom. Write to Holcomb No. 79. I am called said offspring—about "Flip's" three Mr. Van Bibber also said that he "Moron", but my friend calls me "Dopey." H.H.? expects the legislature to make an H.H.—Like a blast furnace, son. Un- game winning conversions and about • • • a • his various fields of endeavor—name- appropriation for a field house with- doubtedly the finest array both News while it is News! From New York! Early this morning about 4 ly, striped, chalked, and boxed. in the next few weeks. to be exact. Peter Elwell Pitney Hadley. Conn. State College ace track and sides of the Mississippi." BEAT YALE! Y.R.—But we droped six games, "Yes, Frank, you sure know how to with a heave of feet. This mark was made during the annual I.C.4A. raise 'em. Look at the offsprings of field man broke the official world's record for the 35 pound hammer throw weren't picked to represent New track and field meet at Madison Square Garden. This mighty throw by this England in the tournament, and our coaches." he continued with mighty mite enabled The People's Choice to get'a triple win in the evening's have no record like Long Island or growing omininousily. "That turret- STUDENT'S LUNCH topped head of festivities. Previously Butch the Giant Killer copped the shot-put and dis- California." A Complete Meal For 40c cus throw events. (Boy. can he throw it.) A complete account of this track H.H.—Who's L.I. and Call.? The six A MAN! lhe athietie divi- meet by that lycanthropic ace sports-writer Alvin X. Pudlin who covered the games Slate lost were to upstarts sion has a zero Served 11 A. M. to 2 P. M. meet for the Scampue. will be found on page 2. who had Lady Luck and the seven record. but al • • • • • dwarfs on their side." least he's shown SOUP, MEAT, POTATOES, Ace Pudlin, flying back from New York, arrived in Van Bibber's office Y.R. (mopping his brow) "Were you no favorites. VEGETABLES, BREAD and BUTTER, in the nick of time to get a! scoop on the Hartford and other small-town —fortunate enough to be present on "A certain TEA or COFFEE and DESSERT papers. It was at seven o'clock this that evening, on that rare evening. clownish haskel- morning that Athletic Director George THE in February when Kosy scored a ball coach is raising, of all g»teue'a Uittaljam <#rill Van B. announced the enrollment for basket?" things, two girls Air Conditioned next semester of several likely ap- MAVERICK LAUNDRY H.H.— (shaking his head slowly) "No. but I feel free to say Kosy stands And that imprac- Willimantic, Conn. pearing track-men. In role with the Special Rates for Students alone as the scorer of the year. tical grid FROM ■" LuRid LeAks THE Genius Predict s Archeological We grieve to announce that the long fai'thful editor of Lurid Leaks, who stood so long and patiently with his thumb in the dike af. it were, LETTER Remnants Of Present College Era holding back the flood from the water towers and confining it to an Professor Dig M. Dp, head of the Connecti- innocuous dribble, has at last succumbed. Starting down the slope Epistle to Lurid Leaks specially: cut State College archeological department with a roar, the waters purled and eddied in the mellowed halls of Dear Gents, and world renowned amateur painter, baa be- learning and have been directed into their proper channels (see be- I suppose you're wondering what I gun a still life which he says will revolution- low) by us, the associates who knew him so well. want so I'll tell ya. It's about Digby. ize all art . . . Title is to be "Connecticut He is always so immaculate and State 5440" . . . "Or fight", we added when ;md smartly dressed. He visited your we saw the above photo of his model . . . The campus recently on his way to the prof's impression of those things that will sur- vive us "when we have shuffled off this mor- Welcome Ugwanukambi tal coil" is hardly complimentary, but then It has been tentatively announced that we are to get a new Sociology archeology seldom tosses bouquets about . . . prof . . . President Jorgensen released the news yesterday that Doctor Clar- Look what it did for Sodom and Gomorrah! ence Q. Ugwanukami will lecture on the African aborigine . . . According to Professor I'p assures us that no comparison is Prexy lie should be good ... no wonder, he's a full-blooded I'bangi, as a mat- meant . . . Seems that there is but one ex- ter of fact he's a former chief of the Wanungi clan of the I'bangiwalla . . . ample in the history of art that can be likened Prof. L'g. has had an extremely interesting life ... At the age of twenty-five to what he is attempting ... A sketch has he was rescued from eternal fire by a Belgian missionary; he later rescued been discovered on the wall of a recently the missionary from a more secular blaze on opened cave in southern France which depicts the eve of a great tribal banquet—that is he Hitler and Mussolini thoughtfully chewing on rescued all but his ears . . . On the scholas- each other's ears . . . We hope the cave man tic side he has matriculated variously at the had as much foresight as Professor I'p claims University of Brussels, the Sorbonne, and to have . . . UPS CSC. 5440 Columbia ... He recently won the Rockfel- ler Foundation prize to promote American Home cooking, with his description of the HUMAN FLIES DEFY method used by his former tribesmen in the GRAVITY—BUT! preparation of their fellow men . . . His Eng- DIGBY DABBS The other day two young diehards lish is said to be excellent although his lips asked Nothenk I". Mylove. local the- size of dinner plates as tribal tradition city from Boston, and your paper did director of recreation, whether he demanded hinder him on a few of the more not take notice. Digby. himself, is would consider them for a convoca- complicated dipthongs ... he interlards his CLARENCE CJ. too bashful to send you his picture tion. lectures with jokes, and tells one particular one the first day of each lecture and I'm taking it upon myself to do •Well." said the brilliant No., so because I think that your people series about a cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle ... It is report- "Let's amble on to the Armory and are interested in knowing what Digby see". ed that the professor often travels in disguise to prevent comment on his ad- looks like (HE'S SO different look- mittedly singular appearance . . . Because of this it lias been impossible to ing). They did . . . While the unsurpass- secure a picture of him but it is suspected by some that he may look some- Continue to pour those perfectly ed performers were in the midst of thing like the above. wonderful Leaks, and I shall thirstily their act the ready Scampus photo- drink them as I have in the past. grapher pulled out his trusty eyefiller The Registrar's office is preparing for a slight increase in September and shot the duo ... As a result you registration . . . Just plain. Hortense Taste have this pictoral wonder (seen on the right) . . . But tragically enough, gravity was scared by the bang, re- It might be in point to note here that Professor Ugwanukambi's two THE NEW 1939 sented being defied, and thumbed its daughters are registering for the fall semester . . . They will major in lengthy digit at our brave atoms-to- dietics . . . The gals are said to be real beauties in the I'bangi manner SPORT SHOES be .. . With lips almost the size of their father's . . . Their only drawback is that Are Swell! Aw skip it . . . while Prof. Ug. was taking summer courses at the University of Tokyo last summer they both mastered jui jitsu . . . Sociology majors take warning . . . Most Styles PROFESSIONAL HOME RECORDINGS $2.90 to $5.90 MADE EASILY AT V SMALL COOT Call Me A Taxi Hear Yourself As Other* Hear Yon DELMAR RADIO CO. And speaking of co-eds quite naturally brings us aiound to the new PACKARD!w HOLD TIGHT W.S.G.A. ruling concerning hours and such . . . An institution can't really BOOT SHOP Tel. SS7 W illimantic be said to be progressing, despite a growing physical plant and personnel, 218 Asylum St. War Alljn Theatre until majority opinion has progressed as well ... A big bunch of posies to HARTFORD Ah Mee Returns—Thirsty Public Gets Picture the gals for their broadminded attitude . . . The new hours, 12:20 weeknights Terminating a noble and ancient lineage of and all night Saturday, are as lenient as can be found on any college cam- Mees. poor Ah found himself in the Great Be- pus . . . The W.S.GiA. at last seems to agree with the rest of the student yond recently, when the late Lurid Leaks editor body that co-eding is the meat of our undergraduate life and should be en- crept up from behind, one sinister eve and buried couraged . . . the blade of a hatchet in All's stubborn, lithe Round and Round ! body ... AH thought this to be the end . . , we bade the once faithful but pasty Ah farewell SKIMPI SWIM SUITS SENT SOARING WITH A brilliant 17-hit bar- and shipped his hulk away . . . but an endless rage, the Yankees swamped the stream of correspondence from erstwhile readers Cardinals under a 12-7 score. goaded us on to discover what Mees phyi Commencement Looks Promising Bill Dickey, who put over a nomy. etc. looked like . . . the world had a right triple, double, and two singles, to know more about the secretive Ah tor lie had While we're encouraging things and people and what not. how about ran himself ragged around the been theirs just as all great figures in history art everyone getting behind Mr. Justin U. Applebottom, and pushing hard . . . bases.—A real Arkansas Trav- . . . well we were still on the lookout when one In case you did'nt know he's the little gentleman with the green derby who eler! has been loitering around the campus for the last week gazing al thr- IVninies oninious night a clammy hand slid Into ours with AH ME with a "faire deshabille" star . . . Mr. Applebottom, who is visiting one of a low. eery "Hy kid" . . . Our hair stood on end the faculty members while on a vacation from his Florida Chamber of Com- . . . It seemed impossible, but there was no doubting that Ah had return. merce job, can't seem to get out of harness ... It seems ed . . . in no time we were talking of old times .,a*, n and Ah was telling of that he has visions of a bathing beauty contest to be held his deadly dA'Sire for a juicy platter of Ileanery beefBtake, when it 0. in I law ley Armory sometime in May . . . The idea would to us that this was our final and greatest opportunity to get soni. lie legitimate enough because the girls would be nearer negative which we could reproduce for presentation to Ah's innumerable the swimming pool than most bathing beauties ever get admirers . . . after dosing ghOStee with the stuff that Edgar HcKner used to detect the presence of fingerprints we snapped a mental picture of the most to the water anyway . . . Mr. Applebottom says that he Last call for Junior Jackets! could get Earl Carrol to act as judge, which would put us We'll do our best to take care High ami already flown Mee . . . hurriedly we hastened to a nearby | on a par with his own Florida shows . . . The winner of a few more orders if you'll grapher who transferred our mental apparition onto celluloid . . . hence "■■ would bo presented with a hand embroidered doily and let us luvr 'em riirht ana). now proudly present to you. All's former public, the result of our untiring thirty-five QP's ... He also suggests that the lair maiden efforts to avail you of the Information you so eagerly sought . i~ee photo follow the Valedictorian this June at commencement exer- right . . . cises with a short talk on any appropriate subject . . . rrn Incidentally, nothing delighted Ah quite so much as a cool alass ot Of course she would be clad in the Costume in which she attained to her ex- i bluuble topped liquid on a hot spring afternoon in Storrs . . . off to Willi he alted position ... It would certainly leave a pleasant taste in the mouths of AIN ■ Will IMAM It CONN would sail on his time-honored junk and indulge with his customary mental the departing seniors . . . We may be prejudiced but we think Mr. Apple- giants . . . thus it is in deference to the great soul of Ah Mee that we grate- bottom has something there . . . How about a plebe-scite? . . . fully dedicate the three brews. CONNECTICUT S C a M P u S EnglnEEring Building SlowIY SinKinG BAND FOR JUNIOR PROM Will Vanish In Prexy Soon To Retire Quicksand Bog Stop All Work On Structure Af- Columnist Hints Coyly ter Subterranean Shift In Geological Strata Admits Innate Fondness For Chickens—Will Return To AFRICAN FAMILY THREE MONTHS TO GO Bronx Farm TO RESIDE HERE Find That Dormitories May Also Be RAY OLDS TAKES OVER TWO NEW CO-EDS Swallowed l'|> Some \ iu-lit Because Conn. State's new Engin- Wants To Live In Hilltop House By Philip E. Nilands eering Building is slowly sinking in- And Be A Friend To Man to a bottomless quicksand, all work on the structure, which is only par- A family of Ubangi savages recent- By Ah Nuts tially completed, has been stopped. ly arrived on campus replete with Already two feet 11.3 inches of the lips and neck bands. They will re- Hinting that he would like to re- foundation have been swallowed up side in Gurllyville and will send two construction engineers say. No at- tire to his old chicken farm in the co-eds to school. Bronx. President Albert N. Jorgen- temp is being made to salvage any It seems that the beauty of a Uban- of the building material because sen in an exclusive interview, with gi maiden is measured by the size of workmen refuse to remain in the vi- this correspondent stated that he is her lips. Considered from the narrow- cinity. seriously considering tendering his minded view-point of Western cul- ture, what would a young swain do The Engineering Building was resignation to the board of trustees. upon reaching the door of Holcomb moved 500 yards west to its present Hall after having a date with her? position last fall, when quicksand What would he supplement his low- was found in the original spot. The whispered "good-night" with? Imagine new bed of quicksand was not dis- his ecstatic feeling, when upon putt- covered until the weight of the con- ing his arm around her. he is met struction caused a shifting in the subterranean geological strata. with two round, rubber-like plates IZZY NUTMEG AND HIS GRAPE NUTS raised winsomely to seal their leave- The sinking is much too slow to taking. be easily apparent. Engineers say the Or consider him leaning over to decent is about three tenths of an whisper some sweet nothings only t.> Prom Quests To Be In Stew inch per day. At this rate, it will take discover he is about opposite the base two and one-sixth months for the TY>e Firfttn&n's Smoke of her neck and would have to climb highest girder to sink with a gurgle three feet of stairs to get past tier Nuts To You Is Dance Motto into the gooey, gooey mud. "We have chickens here at the upon tier of cold brass collar, then college." said the president, but they to spend ten minutes unsnarling the DORMS MAY VANISH Nameless Library To Be Scene Of beats of this three piece orchestra are not the kind of chickens we havj kinks of her wolly mass only to find Annual Social Fvent— Special which has recently risen to interna- A dormitory or two may vanish back home. Oh how I long to see a a pitch-black shell-like ear, the lobe Late Permission tional fame because of the long in- Bronx chicken again." of which drops coyly a foot or two to termissions and short dance numbers some dark night according to find- The president is fond of chickens. her waist. ings of state engineers who have Featuring Izzy Nutmeg and his that it features. Its theme song the He likes ducks, whales, ping-pong Of course, his ardor would have Nutcracker Suit a la primitif, has examined the subterranean geolo- Cracked Nuts, the Junior Prom will balls, mashed potatoes, students, rope been such upon seeing her for the gained it world wide popularity. gical strata, shifting of which ( first time that little drawbacks like come off sometime during the first caused all this bother about the cigars, cryptograms, beer, boondogl- The list of patrons and patronesses ing campus banquets, balderdash, these make no difference in his ro- week of March in the lobby of he engineering building. mantic advances. Connecticut State College library, for the dance is headed by the Hon- "We have too many buildings climbing stairs, his mail, and popu- orable Jonathan the Second of the larity. With an avid tweak of her delicate- which threatens to be completed ft around here anyway," said Presi- ly shaped nose, that extends three that time. The freshman committee Poultry Building, Storrs, Conn. Other dents Jorgensen and Olds Indif- Bay Oldsj former Beach janitor, in charge has announced that the de- patrons are Sir Ramesis Rhody of ferently. and political commentator, is prexy inches of either side of the center of her face he vows to count the min- corative motif for the prom will be Rhody Island State College; Mr. Students who live in the dormi- protempore, announced Doc Jorgen- a vegetable garden in which spinach Bulldog of Yale University, New sen.... "And a very good man he is utes until he can keep in step with tories have been quite calm, as her wide, flat, shoe-less feet. There's and turnips will furnish the outstand- Haven; Mr. Jiggs Bulldog Marines oi there has heretofore been no an- too." ing color schemes with a background the United States Navy; and A. Army "Let me live in a house on the top nothing like the wonder of younr; nouncement of the danger. of cole-slaw and potato salad. This Mule of the United States Army. of a hill and be a friend to man!" love, but give me the vicarious life ol reading an eighteenth century novel. unusual idea was conceived after a Canine guests are requested to bring exclaimed the new prexy. their own trees. Situation Wanted: glimpse at the present condition of A warm rammer evening, moonlight Help Wanted Female: the campus which, to quote Alphonse The queen for this breath-taking softly drifting through the pines. Hedy affair will not be chosen by lot or I.il.Marr. Anyone knowing the where, Beanery To Install Houae-mother fur Non.frat house Blarney, '40 of Middletown chairman limits of this situation please notify (Ciminn Hull rin well-known college of the affair, "looks rather like a by ballot as has often been the cus- Danny Regan WT1C, Hartford. Cloth For Doodlers eampua. Must be not over is yearn of vegetable stew." tom, but by an entirely new method. Wanted: tine pair of stilts. Gracey up', unmarried, blond preferred. MUM! Romano, !«• experienced. Apply Goona Ilnll Trucking around in the garden, The patrons and patronesses will Wanted: A «iirl (a) Ilcautifiil or (I.) select the fortunate young lady by Hat-Check Concession Is (liven To with a far or a«-> witli money, Ap. guests will find themselves fainting Miss Hind, Ex-Follies Girl ply Joe Xoonan. and swaying to the monotonous drum an instinctive process with which they will weed out the undesirables. Anyone desirous of nomination must O Business conditions on the Conn. WEATHER REPORT submit her name to Mr. Jonathan by -■ g o State campus will be immeasurably the second week in March. 3 helped, it was indicated here to-day 9 ■a in an announcement, stating that ta- The dance will start at exactly FS 12:00 a.m. at which time the Victory a blecloths will be used in the Dinig H i-h Hall henceforth. Big business deals at Bell will ring three times, and the n doors of the new library will be op- O the college have been blocked in the ( ) —r • past because of the lack of a clean, ened to the public for the first time. SCO Women have been specially granted O 3 white cloth on which to doodle, but > n this condition will be remedied short- permission to stay out until 6:00 a.m. = 2 m by the decision of the dean's office o ly. .... (not the dean) H Also in line with the policy of im- 1 E 1™ Transportation to the affair has ! H proving business and eating condi- • tions in the Storrs metroplois, Roger been provided through the efforts of g rhamberlain, Maitre d'hotel, revealed the A.S.U. which has arranged for a o § r that the regulation Russian general's special bus to carry guests from Hol- n uniform will be provided for the CT^HI comb Hall to the Library building, 8 m Beanery doorman. and the feet of all the hot tomatoes who expect to turn up at the prom 6 > A rumor that Cossacks with knouts l 7) \ will thus be spared from much strain. w 3 to -* will be hired to keep order from CD The committee in charge of the af- m -« horseback during the waiting periods fair consists of the following mem- >— • r O i a) has been ingignantly branded as >>>. bers of the freshman class: Pitcher 53 m 60 false by the Dining Hall management. Hays of Watertown; Slinger Hoe of 06 The hat-check concession for the h S MO Wildacres, Kalamozoo; and Sawyer remainder of the year has been sold Seeds of Newlawn, Storrs. They are to a New York agency, it was reveal- — being aided by the members of the g3 ed this morning. Augusta Wind, for- Horticulture 1234 class, who have D n merly of the Ziegfield Follies, will conferred with the students in the be in charge of the Beanery coat- Genetics 12345 course. room. Judging from the volume of Everyone has been urged by the business done in the past, the con- leader of the band to attend this cessioon is looking forward to a suc- year's prom. In the words of Izzy for dancing and general confusion, cessful venture. Nutmeg himself, "If you carrot all don't fail to turnip. Connecticut SCAMPUS MINSKY BUBBLERS COMMENCEMENT TO CONVOCATE (an" how) Ex-prexyvisitsalbiej.here ADDRESSES TO WAR Games Mademoiselle Godiva and Silver to Findscampuschangedgreatly BE IN LATIN Appear In Historical Skit Dr. Charles Chester McCracken, Finds Valedictory and salutatory ad- A Minsky chorus will feature the PLANNED dresses in Latin will feature com- next college assembly to be held to- Campus Chilnjed Greatly mencement exercises this year and a night in the Armory. Latin and Hebrew course will be ot- Presenting their "Dance of the Dr. Charles Chester McCracken, tered here, it was announced at the Sirens" and the colorful "Angels in For C S. C. President .1 rgensen's predecessor. president's office, third door to your Heaven" sketch in which they are at- squared his debts to the College last tired only in gauzy wings of various right as you leave the library, this Woo—Woo—Boom ! paying a \isii to the campus. morning. bright colors, the troupe promises an The prexy, who conducted the ex- Dr. Ali liakoo of the University of interesting program. prexy on a tour, reported the latter's Swarthmore, K. V.. a widely-known The "Dance of the Soap Bubbles" Professors will soon have to lec- Impression to be "My!" authority on classical, profane and "Flitting Shadows", and "Rainbow ture above the roar of (Ironing aero- "Goodness.' In. Mel 'rat-ken went obsolete languages, will join the for- Maiden" which, authorities con- plane motor* as well as compete on to elaborate. "I read about your eign language department and teach tend, loses in artistic qualities be- with the now commonplace construc- hurricane, but I never realized just the course. cause the girls wear snuggies—are tion racket. how serious it was.' specialties of the group. "Yes, a lew trees lost a few peb- As a special attraction Mademois- The decision of the war depart- ment to hold war game maneuveis bles upturned but nothing much. elle Godiva (pronounced Go-dee-wa) Really nothing at all." the prexy re- will appear with her horse Silver In along the eastern seaboard and to es- tablish an emergency landing field plied, jumping acros- a ditch. a skit known as "The Arrest of "Nothing: Well, it must have been Peeping Tom". Miss Godiva comes in the old cow pasture means that Conn. State students and faculty some wind to blow that thing there." here direct from the "Garden of "The new library? Yes. It does Ecstacy" in Paris. will have front row seats at an in- spiring spectacle. look a bit quaint, doesn't it. But it The girls In a Minsky chorus are will be adequate—for a couple of Planes will zoom, machine guns real gills in every sense of the word, CHARLIE McCRACKEN years. And it has plenty of space for as may easily be observed. Very of- clatter, and aerial dog-fights inspire cots in the basement." ten the performers join the show a general craning of necks upward "And what's that0" asked Charlie, when action starts about the first with hardly any previous training, daintily dodging a truck and pointing only the gifts with which nature has part of April. FORESTY CLUB to a white roofed structure near the endowed them. There appears to be General McCorkingdale of GHQ beanery. something about the work that at- SAY WE SHOULD head of operations in this sector, ex- '•Oh. just a little thing for the tracts females from all over the plained that students' sleep and study Dli. RAKOO world. REPRODUCE NOW outgoing seniors." replied Albie. hours will be interfered with as little stepping over a workman. "The youth The course in Latin is instituted The girls were much relieved to as possible. of the state must be served you learn that there is no censorship up My—My as a direct result of student demand, Illackouts will be allowed only al- know." here at the college. This will enable stated President Jorgensen this ter midnight, he said. If night land- them to finally give their adaptation "We must propagate trees—first,' "Yes. yes, of course." countered morning between puffs on a long, ings are necessary, the flyers are in- ol "Faerie Queen and Court", which was the declaration made by the ID. Chester as he knifed his way thru black seegar. structed to glide down with the motor was banned in all the principal cities estry club as it formulated a pro- the beanery line, "eventually." Inasmuch as few students can un- shut off so as not to disturb the and small towns. program completed before too many "We must have more dormitories. derstand Latin, copies of the valedic- slumbering community. spring-like days have been wasted. tory will be given to members of the Connecticut is the fifth richest—" Attendance at college assemblies Mr. liussell D. Potter, president of "And what's that behind Slot is graduating class with little asterisks has been excellent this year. The per- The water towers may have to be removed in order to make landings the club, declared that the ravages Hall?" marking the place to applaud, and formance is expected to set a new re- of the hurricane and WI'A must be "—but only 47th in providing stars marking the place to break in- cord. and takeoff* easier, said the general to hilarious. hysterical laughter, also. wiped out. "Propagation, first of money for—" ipsi facto te bonum too pax vobis cum. Curfew shall not ring tonight! trees, must be brought about." said "And that steam squirting from Prexy Potter. "Why now on this de- the ground there? Are you building nuded campus of ours even para- subways?" CONN. PROFS mecian endomixus is impossible." "—rooming houses chicken coops, Mr. Potter added that he didn't more beds . . . mattresses—well, not ON THE BALL realize the necessity of such a drive necessarily, but more beds . . . beds. until his own diffidences were We must have dormi — " FOR UNCLE SAM pointed out to him during the course "I'm sorry. Mr. President, but I Of a certain play a while ago. "They must join my wife." Poison Gas Being Developed By haven't planted trees on Wall Street "Oh, yes, yes. ,,i course. And yet. so maybe a little t.iliage will Roland Schlink where's the rest of the leglslat help me out " "Legislators?" "Why. yes. The appropriations com- Modern warfare may be revolution- mitti e " ized by a poison gas seven times as MAYOR COMPLAINS deadly as phosgen discovered and now "But I—'m not .,: Assembly mem- being perfected in the chem lab by TO JIM FARLEY ber. I'm only the—" Prof. Itoland F. Schlink. "Oh excuse me. 1 must join my ABOUT HIS MAIL wife." Dr. Schlink. who has been a mem- "I'mmm." muttered the visitor as ber of the Conn. State faculty for Mandamus Demanded his car oozed out ol Storrs "there's fourteen years, has just returned a tree!!!" from Sabbatical leave, which He spent By Hugh Seddit mostly working out the formula for his new gas. Charging that Jim Farley refuses, to deliver his mail because be - a Herbert A. Gillette He is planning to offer the U.S. Republican, Mayor Peter Kadley. ".'.:< Fancy Royal Scarlet Groceries war department his invention, be- of a suburb of Torrington. has filed a lieving "the United States with this petition lor a writ of mandamus, in Best Cuts Meat deadly weapon will need no longer the federal circuit court. WEEKLY SALES. DAILY DELIVERY fear foreign aggression." Army chem- "I can't even get a letter if I write CREDIT SERVICE ists have been cooperating with him it myself." complained Itadley to an ! 1'nOXE 480 in the final experiments. interpreter for the Scampus. AFTER THE BRAWL WAS OVER FOR REFINED MUSIC Dr. Schlink stated that the gas Is When he is excited or enthusiastic,, invisible, highly inflammable and ex- our mayor has an annoying habit of "MATTIE" MATTISON plosive. "If some should escape", he lapsing into what is believed 10 be a I And His Orchestra Busboys Battle Bravely In Beanery said, "the campus might be decimat- dialect of ancient Sanscrit. Hence the ed. As a matter of fact." he explained, Interpreter. EVERY FRIDAY AT THE TAB The old feud between the busboys bad for their digestion or Indigestion eooly lighting a match . . . Heady to file mandamus pleas also Call 574-3 1923-2 rnd the scullions fanned itself into as the case might be. and thus compel James A. to dellved open warfare in a brief but bitter The beanery was turned into a their mail, if Kadley is successful battle during the supper hour tonight. shambles as tables were overturned MALLORY HATS before the court, are no less than 20 STORRS-WILLIMANTIC to form barricades. At least one anti- New-Deal Democrats. 1.060 Rad- BUS SCHEDULE Heaving glasses at each other, freshman died a hero's death trying Week Days throwing plates in the approved dis- ical Socialists. " Communists, one to save his ice cream. I New Shapes, New Colors Leave Storrs Leave Willlmantlc cus manner, conking innocent by- Lemke adherent, and 99 faculty 6:30 A. M. 7:25 A. M. standers casually, the rival factions Some of the panels in the beautiful members. stained glass windows are now just at $5.00 This leaves about 24 out Ol the to- 8:20 10:05 pitched into the fracas with gusto 2:00 P. M. 3:30 P. M. and aplomb. a pane-fill memory. tal Student body of this benign and It all started when a scullion loss other hats $3.45 friendly institution of advanced ed- 4:35 6:20 Extra Saturday Only What they needed gusto and ed a wet dishing which caught a ucation who are either satisfied with aplomb for, no one seems to know 12:00 Noon 1:00 p. M. busboy on the kisser as he was pass tlie amount ol' mail the) FARE 50c — ROUND TRIP 75c They were doing all right without ing a tray in through the slot. haven't thought ol taking court ac- any help at all. It ended when Miss ('air declared a THE J. F. CARR CO. tion! THE STORRS OARAGE CO. Several of the diners petulantly plebiscite. "A Smart Store For Men" II must he a complex. Cars for Hire at all Times complained that the excitement was So the boys went to Willl. 7<;c. Slain St «illimantic. Conn. All home town papers please copj Tel. Storrs 1133-2—Willimantic 5041 CONNECTICUT c A M F» u S EDITORIAL Round Table Club DISTRESSING news from the comptroller's office regarding conditions in To Discuss Bigamy the grille reaches us, specifically and to wit appertaining to the lofty matter of ash trays. Statistics laboriously compiled give intelligence that one bright and tfunny day no less than 3B cute little ash trays were strategic- The topic, "Is it blgomoua to ally distributed on the tables in the grill for the express and/or implied pur- marry your own wife under two dif- pose of contributing to the students' health, welfare, and mores by making ferent names?" will be discussed by It a simple matter to dispose of the residue from oxidation of the "coffin the Hound Table at its regular meet- nails." smoking of which is a coup de grace to every meal. ins: next Thursday, King Leonard As stated, there were 36 of these dewbunnys distributed. A surreptitious Rexford Posner announced this after- grabfest was at once instituted, and by the time of evening Mies Carr and noon. her cohorts were apprised of the situation, 26 had vanished into that bottom- less void from which no ash tray ever returns. The remaining 10 were plac- The club will discuss also "Is it ed upon the tables the next night, and at the conclusion of the evening. 9 bigamous to marry some one else's were no longer apparent. Miss Carr decided to keep the other one for her wife under two different names?" own .sweet self, and no butts about it. Number 1798-3, an escaped con- What distresses us most is why in the name of the great horn spoon, vict, will lead the discussion, accord- knife, and fork was the other one left—an extremely silly thing to do, if we GLEE CLUB ON GAKGLE ing lo tentative plans. must say so. And we must!!! Glee Club Gleeful At Jibru Junction six STEPS TO MORE SMOKING Hilarious Howlers Have Headaches Following Frivolous Festivities PLEASURE Ye Olde Glee Club. Connecticut University's sterling collection of adnoid aria-ators. returned to the .a^UtCmjfoXJt campus yesterday looking like the al- termath of a colossal binge with (senior retail tnbaccmist every icebag between Storrs and in Washington, D. C.) Jibru Junction tied to their collective heads. Director E. Z. Pantz. guide. AGEING—Chesterfield's mild mentor, and bogey man of the organ- ... or any one of the ripe tobaccos, like fine wines, are ization hastened to assure Deans aged for two or more years in huge Pine Apple and O. I". Wench that ap- wooden casks. Here they gradu- pearances are at times deceptive. He 1,044,492 tobacco dealers ally acquire that true Chesterfield then careened down the hall, up the mildness and belter taste which give stairs, into the prexy's office and de- in the United States about millions of smokers more pleasure. manded gas masks for his loved ones. The tale, as are all tales true to y life, is one of mixed humor and Chesterfield's can t-be-copied deepest pathos. Little did the lively lads and lassies of the tensed tonsil dream a-; they left their peaceful col- Combination lege quarters Sunday morning that STEMMING—"Almost human" that they were to encounter that is what they say about the inter- dread menace of modern warfare, gas. esting stemming machines, whose They were to sing that evening at fingers pick up the tobacco, leaf the quiet hamlet of Jibru Junction, by leaf and take out the stem, to bring something fine and noble lo leaving only the mild, tender, the dish pan festival that that center good-tasting part of the leaf to go of the culinary utensil manufacturing into the making of Chesterfields. industry submits to every year. In- deed, no inkling of disaster disturbed their sphinx-like calm until a bare hall hour before the crucial moment arrived when they were to lift their voices in lilting melody. To put it mildly, the melody-mak- ers were riding high. They had a room all to themselves complete with BLENDING—There is only one chromium and nickel plated dlshpans Chesterfield blend ... the blend lull of borscht. blintzas. butterballs. that can't he copied ... a happy and bine-abble bie. The walls were combination o( the world's best lined with firkins of punch in sky blue American and Turkish tobaccos. grecian urns. They attacked the Just the right proportions to make nourishing viands voraciously. They Chesterfield a milder, better-tast- ate more and more and more. Then, ing cigarette, j^. simultaneously, they felt a raging thirst, brought on by the bllntsa'd butterballs. They rushed to the gre- cian urns. As one chorister they elevated the elegant ewers and allowed the cool- PAPER—Every Chesterfield you ing contents to gurgle duodenuoward. Hell say... Look what it says smoke is wrapped in pure cigarette Not for long! !! The "cooling con- paper... the finest cigarette paper lng contents" were composed of made. That's another reason why equal parts of nitric acid, straight on the back of the package... Chesterfields are milder and bel- grain alcohol, and sundry shaving la- ter-tasting. tions. Again as one chorister they rushed to the nickel plated sink in the "Chesterfield Cigarettes are a balanced blend corner. To avoid further mistake they of the finest aromatic Turkish tobacco and the emptied the treacherous tublets into the same sink. Alas, nitric acid and choicest of several American varieties blended nickel mix only too well. The result was laughing gas in overwhelming, in the correct proportion to bring out the finer asphixiating. incapacitating quan- qualities of each tobacco." MAKING — Almost faster than tities. In that closed room the effects were deadly. They were trapped. the eye can follow, Chesterfields When you try them you will know why come rolling out of the marvel- When finally released, just before ous cigarette making machines. time to go on, some could walk and Chesterfields give millions of men and women Chesterfields are always round, firm some couldn't .No matter, the show- and well-filled. must go on. Propped up on coat hang- more smoking pleasure. ..whyTHEY SATISFY ers, suspended trom the ceiling, the gallant sufferers gave the recital. It was a "howling" success, to wit and viz the appended picture, taken by an intreped camera fiend who crawl- ed out of a footlight socket just long enough to get the shot. Mr. Pantz says laughing gas pro- hesterfield PACKAGING—Truly amazing duces headaches. are the packaging machineswhich ...the blend that can't be copied wrap and seal Chesterfields in White rats, hundreds of white rats, their air-tight, moisture-proof thousands of white rats have been ...the RIGHT COMBINATION of the packages. Regardless of where imported by the psyc department to you buy them, Chesterfields reach be used in lab periods in advanced you as fresh as the day they were courses. They will be made to jump Copyright 1059. world's best cigarette tobaccos made. thru holes painted on colored cards. 11 irr • Mvi RS TOBACCO CO. CONNECTICUT caMPS HiGh HiLarlTy RuNs RAmpAnT GEORGE ADAMS SEZ: What's all this I hear about Red Lights in the Harvey House? Tsk. Hilarity Gets Very High tsk, Christinas is a long time back. • • • • • iioa P|BS jo aieuiiuoo.i qi|.tt Jiirnnv. rr:g Great Time Is Had By All IB uaas SB.tt oq.tt Bp.mqB.iBH asinrj auiss aqi uaaq a.vsq j| pjnoo ;9i:e, Beer To Be Featured - . .. . . IB XBpsjnqj, JSBI uo uoou.ieiji: iBq.tt uo • >: u< i isoj jo aiuBu am Xq jop).i in New Grin Addition Inhibitions Disarded; -Joa jBq.w u| UJB3J joa jo auiBu aqi Xq [BH a.iouioqdos IBIIAV qij.u spuBq Longley Awaited Installation of Bar auipioq uaas BB.W BpjnqBJBH anna Will Be Completed Shortly Drinks Equally Rampant jo ■miiMi aqj Xq UBuiu.sd.ij iBt|A\ I m glad to see that Young Blood is Beer in the college Grill will at last become a reality, according to As Girl Students Gambol still hot at Storrs. From observation I make this prediction: an official announcement made this CLASSIFIED ADVTS. We were over in the new 1 ibrary Geer: "Eileen, will you marry morning by Miss Ethel Mae Carr. di- yesterday and something hit us on rector of the dining hall. Miss Carr me?" Personals: the head, "Ha Ha-' we said, "The li- stated that final confirmation of the Deans Revel Ryan: "Sure." I'.-nr Butch: Stop fooling around with I brary is falling—we must run and Thereupon the ardent lovers shake appropriation necessary to complete that siren. Your klddiea r crying f tell the state." But it was not the li- hands! the work had come from Hartford you. yesterday. .Ml is forgiven, Roxanna Abandonately brary. It was a thunderbolt to which ***** Ton::. was attached this missive. I woi| oi iqSju .inoX si XBps.ini|x JOJ An oak bar. with furnishings in the ft* • pmthmer t3amtoord 7mtfasl' "You kids don't know so much Old English manner, will be installed oMgoolimx I-, -MI BSgbwer qxcer inoj sauun XBS ,io 'aa.ioa XJO l.uojt linm.olu . i rew?quljk 5S55 At Gay Time about what's going on since I have UBOUI oi qapeniK ajuqof JOJ on DM,, side of the grill. Large mir- Lost &. Found: been gone. But I've been watching rors will compose the back bar and auo|B IBS SBI( ;i SI.IOQ JOOJ Loot: one fraternity pin. Finder plean you and what with the coming of • •*•*' give the assembled students a return t.. R. Ram with hear) attached. •LIFE MISSES A PARTY" spring and the birds birding and the Vonnie had a little Jack chance t„ obsene any wayward pro- Loat: one "steady." Last seen at ''<»_ bees beeing and the grass grassing, I lessors lurking in the vicinity. If the ■ ••I formal. Wan wearing tuxedo with She kept him well, no doubt. white patch Ibow. If on left Police Fail To Raid decided George Adams ought to do a For every time she turned her back faculty turns out in large enough ear. Finder please return to Holcoml' little George Adamsing and resume Miss .Murray takes him out. numbers, a special room, complete Mall. P.8. My handbag in in hi- righl Local Gambling Den • • • • • with red and blue pencils for mark- pocket. his duties as campus sleuth-in-rhief Found : one young i inder table. as of yore. •asmuM paj. Ma Ing exams, will be provided. Wearing dark blue sweater with a FIREMEN CALLED AS The new tap room, which will be white c. Owner may have i»v paylna IB8a[ s.-,[ ■'W-.W «OBf '.laipaan >|aBf MapXtis !V for ad. Applj It R GUESTS BECAME LIT 'spi>i )sauoi| puv \ianio ai|j oj eiquj BpXo.s. pax 'JiO 'UBS (;aiou a>|Bi spa known as 'Club 2s". will be open Found: One row in shower ro namec •MI" tuo.l] >.il||l'|~ AIM ,.i;i H) 1SOUI •o.)) :[ooil)S [BIUJON <'i|i SUIXHI.I from 9:45 P.M. till midnight on Dauline Daphne Storrs. Owner please Campus Is Thrilled by Tales of Hot —aq sasjB.id—puB S|.i|g au.j Xq puno.in apply A. A. Department. Meeting: High Hilarity Reignp • •••*• weekdays, except Fridays, «hen the Rents: flash! Exclusive interview with foamy liquid will start to flow at s'uiiiGAv aqi jo J0[ B ainuiraiia pino.w For Ren) : Gulley 1. Apply Woll l: i U inq 'jado.id aimfo aq j.upino.w JBIU Mayor of Storrs: 10:30. In order that the Brass Kail berts The Montieth Arts Society held a •qO'lV a|Sso PUB epiooo 'j|0»* pnj£ Me: ''Are you married. Butch?" and the Kock Garden will not suffer To Lei : Slightly used spiral note.1 k for Boc. 250. Has been used only four tea party and bridge game last night SB aiun auiBs atn IB JO qji.w .taddns Butch: "No. I'm not married jret, too much loss of patronage, the bar - sters. still plenty ,,f room. Mont at at Holcomb Hall. •">J HMO U °l autoa oj ISZBH PUB but I'm good 'n hooked." lip had a will be closed on Saturdays an,I Sun reasonable. Apply R. Morris '[O.IBJ 'Xpnf 'diifi.iv 'OJ a[q|ssod aq heart-to-heart-talk with my li'l chick- days. Authoritative sources close to pino.w Ji Xng iqSnv. ajdoaj JBI|.« JOJ adee and with her mama too. We un- Miss Blondie Wench, Keen of Wo- p.iBaajsip uiBi-iaJ B pui: Sitiiuti ]0 uq derstand eacli other. Yes indeed, men, said that the hours of the bar CALENDAR IIBtus B mi.w jB(|i am 01 pajanaao sun, Life is a glorious cycle of song, a had been arranged to exclude the li inq raO|)8388n8 a>(\uu oi aiBiisaq medley of extempornnia! Why just women students because beer drink- TVESDAY. MARCH 28 I iBqi 8uo| cs .loi XK.ttB uaaq a.v.j >esterday I had a lovely walk with ing was considered bad for all poten- ■ i :0I ; i. in. Spring arrive* b Hall tial "Queens". 7:30 i i. in. W.S.G.A. Meeting Brass Rail 8 :.::•■ >. i in. Joint n ting Munteltb Arts Society LOUNGE IN MEN'S NEW DORM All kinds of beer will be on tap- * Pistol Club I .■.•nil Telephone Booth including a special brew imported all >::■.. I i. in. Debate Diligent Debating Society Hoi- Barn Hill the way from Willimantic. A variety Subject : Resolved That Birds ami Bees Hare Implications Worthy "1 Study of wines and liquors will also be WEDDING DAY, MARCH 29 kept on hand. In conjunction with the I'I :01 a. III. Spring arrlv, - Horse Barn regular policy of the Comptroller's n .in a. m. Ritsboyg arise; conquer dining Hall Beanery Office. In cents will be charged for s nil a. in Classen begin, Dom 'em Beach, etc. s :.",!» a. in. Students i Vi loaf toward f> o'clock All Over Campus light beers and 11 cents lor dark. i; :S9 p. in. Gargle, for all members of the Glee Club infirmary 7 :i>»; p. in. Communist Rail] Speaker : Victory Rapport her in the fog at 7 a.m. on the (Iin THURSDAY. MARCH 30 leyville Hoad." 12:30 a. in. Lights Out. Children's Program WCXC 0:07 a. in Mountain Climbing Expedition Water Tower* ***** 7:00 a. m 11 J :it l.ro.i kl:isl. get up; if you I've got a little list don't, go back to sleep, Of things that won't be missed, s :4."i a. in. Jim Farley visits Post Office to Check up on box situation P.C That never will be missed. in mi a. ni. i■ r-■ i—"i Wow commences floor pacing Quea, R88 There's the couple -blond and so in in : ll> a. in Professor Wow — till floor pacing love— 11 :4!> .-I'- Freshmen start racing like -lor Campus Beanery ll :-!!• :.V.l Freshmen an- tossed •on of Beanerj 1' - 11;,:! That wander 'round so turtle-dove 7 mil p. in. Scrap,' Hi'- ''in : Hoot n Toot Rehearsal Musics House And woo and coo where they really 7 :15 p. in. All men Interested (?) report for dates Holcomb Hani shouldn't— 7 :::n p in Watch it. tbere mighi !»• another debate Around 'a : I.". |. in Curfen Sot another one, She has I i -■■ Oh Peg and Bob. I wish you wouldn't! FRIEDAY. MARCH :n For it never would be missed. 7 :30 Wanna Re up*- N-i- Surprising. <^n this campus we all get up bright an,I earlj any. this i- No. it never would be missed. Calendar Isn't it? There's the gal who changes her 8 :00 a. in. skip the darn < ass Bed mind every day. 11 :30 a. in. sa stuff, meal time again. Beanery :: IS p. in. Meeting of the Coaches A rmory For now she wants Bob and then she t :00 p. in. Football Practice Armory wants Kay. I :O0 p. in. Baseball Practice Armor; I mi p 111. This having two men sorta gets In Track Practice Annoi v 1:00 p. in. I .■in int: Practl, i Armory my hair, t :00 p. in. Boxing Practice Armory 1:00 p. in Wrestling Practice I really think, Lucy, you should be Armory i :00 p. in Archery Practice Armory more fair. I on p. in Play Rehearsal Armory For she never would be missed, I an p. in APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE INSPECTION Armory :. .in p. Important Meeting No, she never would be missed. .-,:■.,• p Important Meeting Called Ofl 7 IMI p I Books -.Inn inr iti.. weekend l'.ant- til:.-..-. ,i Five minutes to eleven u, Watch 11 on p. m. Hull sessions begin Places Topic: How was your date! Shell- Chateau SERTERDY". APRIL 1 11:01 a in. Spring Ann.'. Motfs Dorms 8 aio a. in. Presents in. win, th,n Invented Saturday *, o'clock* Muttering nil over Campus s .'111 :i in. I didn't V favorite of New Kneluml's !i :00 a. in. Well shall we i-'t UP; ■' .'in a in. llnh Campuses 1" mi a. 111. Let's gel up 11 :00 a. in Hour Exam iii Education 202 Beach 2::i II :!.-. a in Suro. Let's get up, ]• 00 noon THE KING'S MEN- Vouro FREE Hera •". -on p III Hellsapoppln IL' Mill p. in. Everywhere WED. THRU SAT. SfNDAE. APRIL .V",K'ilh""'''"'" Who Can Toll A, This Hour: EVERY WED. nan a. in Spii„t- Arrives Deans' Office s mi p in. Open House Closed Stores APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE COMES THROUGH CONNHTHTT STATE MTK '■' "" I' "'■ sl.-op you sucker, rou n I ii ' Horn.' CONNECTICUT ScAMpU New Catalog Privately Circulated Croty, Waugh Hit Top archie the cockroach MEET THE BOYS Raison d'etre New Catalog candidly views profs. Is Privately Circulated Critics Cheer Shows literary insects hops around classes Psychology Experts Float in the sprint; Croty, IFmgb Hit Top I ritics Mental l.imn Cheer shows dere boss here i am The sensational new catalog for Education 100: Orientation for again it seems good to be hopping student use only was issued today in Women. One nun-academic credit around on the old keys again its (and how vi u don't work for it! > liniiiid quantities, said Miss Marjorio Two class periods B work. No cuts! spring so i went around to W, Myth, college registrar, in a spe- A condensed encylopuedia on the the classes yesterday to cial statement to a Scampus reporter. art of liow to pour tea, how to con- watch the poor fools sleep and Because of the widespread under- duct one's self as a COLLEGE WOM- some other poor fools talk their AN, how to introduce one's father to gtaduate interest in the high flun\ one's mother, and innumerable other fool heads off boss it was funny rate at the college, a group of psy- useful pointers on etiquette, the use some of them said the same chology experts analyzed the profes- of the library, public speaking and things over and over sors the students, assembly speak- how to cram one's self into a ner- again one of them must be ambi vous breakdown. Leaves one with dexterous or is there such a word THE CHIEF the necessary knowledge of how to NATHAN HALE anyhow i mean boss that he kept snap chewing tuni and copy home- work, as well as how to get your Tap Room and Coffee writing Wiggley lines on the board man. with both hands at once he had whit■; A mid-semester exam, can be passed Shop hair and should have known better with good eyesight, and a final re- huh boss then i ambled on to quiring fifteen minutes of prepara- tion. This course is taken for the sim- French Course a place that looked like a mob scene ple reason that it is required. Offers with a lot of people all in one BRASS RAIL unusual opportunities for letter writ- • • * * room i perched on one xxxxxkids ing. French 101, 102, 208 ,205, and what shoulder and he was making a Choice Wines, Liquors Prerequisite: Registration i" the rollegi have you: Introduction to the French And Foods Hut. -Sequel: How to Win Friends and Language. The French Literature. lot of schatches on a paper i IllflWIUV PtHipll- 101. FEATURING HAMPDEN & French Home Life, French Music, found out he was counting the number of uhs and and St III.IT/. BEEBS CROTY and French. Three classes a week- Pnlon St WlUimantic three cuts a week. so forths the man in front was saying and boss the sum i Cite course aims a teacher le was staggering it came to 105 Franeais dans toiites aspectes. On for the first and 15 for the Music Course peut learner comment singer en second i wandered into one * * * Franeais. comment swearer en Fran- place after that where the Music 191: Three class periods a eais, et comment broadcaster en man was lying on the table week. Carnegie Room Sessions. ers, literature, ennui, your mail, Franeais. Professor Croteau's mer- in front of the room and This course aims to unseat any pre- twaddle, the lab fees, extra credit. veilleux sense de humor, qui se fait saying something about the judice formed about music and guar- Irish bull.Ferdinand the bull, and sentir dans ses innumerables jokes rough tough and nasty boys antees complete dislike for any tonal bull throwers, the tap rooms, Storrs est depressant, mais apre unpeu de and i got scared so i left in sensations except jazz. Exams can be Hall, Beach Hall. Holcomb Hall, temps, on learns comment take them the next place one man kept hit by anyone with ability to write Koons Hall, Hall Hall 'the gang's all avec un grain of salte. saying all right and then he well. here)—to ascertain the bases for said No marks plus haut qu'un A et rien talked so fast igot dizzy till A popular course due to the fact high flunk rate. bas qu'un ('. Ily's opportunitas de he stopped and said all right again that general Mr. Italy has instigated Our experts present with pride: grinder, si on a de l'ambition. Mais and then i got used to it because a special seminar, in which he tells ce nest pas necessaire. Beaucoup te he stopped to say all right so all the snappy bits from the educat- quizzes et examins, mais beaucoup often i could recover but when ed musical circles, and incidentally, SAIL OMITTED K. A. ing est possible. Ceei est a le i got tired of that i hopped up leaves his listeners in circles. Not decre tion de l'etudent, bien sur. some stairs tris was over in that too easy to pass; don't get fooled by The picture of George Brandon Prerequisite: A knowledge of child psy. little ivy covered building near hology i" humor the |M-Iit ehou nith. the prof's smile. Saul, PhD., Associate Professor of Sequel : A course In elementary trench here and some man was singing Prerequisite: A liking for music English at the college, is not used songs to the kids in a voice that Sequel: Weekly listening t , the Bet in this edition, due to circumstan- t nnother school. i: Iinan mid Tommy Horsey programs came right out of his nose boss ces beyond our control: ERNIE THE BARBER AL. E. it was a riot and all the kids had MARCEL Editor. The Scampus SEZ such fun then boss came the Dear Sir. worst of all i was coming over I have never had any illusions BE NEAT AT ALL TIMES to the office to write up a few about being handsome, but libel is HAVE YOUR HAIR CUT things for you and i dashed into libel: if ever again you fill space NOW another class and the man in with the cut of me that appears front was pacing around the in last week's Campus, I shall be room like a caged tiger and boss tempted to bring suit. Waugh Course it lent good for his blood * * * * Very truly pressure i couldnt bear it so i George Brandon Saul Economics: —3 debits —3 crass came in the office where i peril ds a week. This course includes could wallow in dirt and lengthy and theoretical dissertations tell you all about it boss im given in a loud tone of voice punc- getting tired and i want to tured with endless waving of the make whoopee its spring Caisse's Beauty Parlor hand at "friendly passersby." Course toujours gal, wot the hell may be passed by submitting to the archie and Barber Shop instructor a new technique to substi Specializing in Permanent Waving tute for kissing babies and giving WILD BILL CHENEY Zotos-Jamal and Taper Marcel papa a cigar. The moustache stripped from his Telephone 448-4 Storrs, Conn. face, the pristine puss of teacher is Cheney Course revealed. Prerequisite: Infinite patience '<> put • • • up with the band-waTtng and defective Mathematics.