LAURIER A WILFRID UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATION VOLUME XXXI ISSUE 22 THURSDAY FEBRUARY 28, 1991 thecord

IN THE NEWS: Tuition BUSINESS: fed up with FEATURE: Student Publi- SPORTS: Hawkey Hawks THE SCENE: Ballet dan- go fees up, up, up... Laurier? How about tak- cations is hiring for next crash play-off party. cers sleep restlessly in ing your MBA someplace year. What do we do and boxing ring. else? why? page 3 page 11 page 16 page 27 page 19 Sex (J lies & y \ Videotapes n

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cent increase in tuition when they the increased number of students bring $420 million into the sys- "A $500 increase ... seems Lewis also felt a more acces- arrive back to school in Septem- at university. The other half goes tem, according to WLUSU Presi- minor, could cause some students sible student loan system must ber. towards improving the present dent Stuart Lewis. to not be able to afford to come to come with increased tuition. The increase implemented by system. "To my understanding, the the Ontario NDP government is Bob Rae and the NDP plan would require the govern- an attempt to bring the province's government promised in their ment to pay two thirds of the in- universities up to the standard campaign last fall that tuition fees crease while the students would they should be at, according to would not increase. This new in- pay one third of the increase. The WLU President John Weir. crease goes completely against increase would be $500 per year He explains, "increased tui- their promise. for each student and the govern- tion has always been a concern of "The NDP discovered the pro- ment would match it with mine, but also my concern is how vince was in a mess economical- $1000", Lewis said. the bills will be paid. The in- ly. The province faces pretty Dr. Weir said that the govern- crease is unfortunately necessary serious problems. Bob Rae made ment has not made any sort of de- but I do feel a great deal of the decision that it was better to cision on this proposal as of yet sympathy for the students." The address the university problems and that the government at pres- government is planning to equal than to hold off tuition fees", ex- ent is reviewing it. the eight per cent tuition increase plained Dr. Weir. This programme proposed by with an equal increase in grants to Dr. Weir added that he felt the COU would require only incom- the universities. new increase would be consider- ing students to pay the increased Dr. Weir said that the students ed fair only if the government im- tuition. The students already in will benefit with the extra money plemented a more accessible stu- university would not be affected. being put into services for the dent loan system. He was unsure Dr. Weir said that the reason- school. When asked what Laurier if in fact the government had ing lies in the fact that students plans to do with the extra money, done so. who are in university already Dr. Weir replied that "the in- While this new tuition in- have their financial situation crease is exactly what we crease is in effect, the NDP planned out. Dr. Weir reckons da increase will allow budgets to anticipated to get. It allows us to government is reviewing a new He feels that this is not a valid remain as is, so edjucashun will still be good. keep up our budget; anything less proposal for tuition increases pre- argument. Lewis feels that it is the cord NEWS Thursday February 28, 4 J99 J DND pulling ads from student papers

Kate Zernike The Newspaper newspapers in Canada, a month vertising which it says is more before the year long campaign expensive, but more effective. TIRED of battling Student protest was scheduled to end. Captain Bob Ascah, assistant to the war in the Persian Gulf, the The department officially director of advertising, said the Department of National Defence claims it canceled the ads because decision was routine: "Once has pulled its recruitment ad- it wants to spend the remainder of every quarter, we reassess our ad- vertising from all university its $300,000 budget on radio ad- vertising needs." But representatives of network advertising agencies that buy advertising space for the de- Global knowing partment in university papers across the country said that finan- CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3 cial considerations were only part The following is the week's schedule: of the department'sreasoning. Monday, March 4 "Thai's what they're telling

O 10 - 11:30 in P2067 "The Gulf War, the Peace Movement and the the media," said Chuck Kirkham New World Order" David Smith (Canadian Peace Alliance) of Campus Plus. The department

CD 1 - 2:30 inL 127 "Self Defence Seminar" Const. Vera Preidt (OPP) told the agency the ads were can- in response to anti-military - celed □ 2:30 4 in 2CB "Strategic, Political and Economic Consequences of ban was rejected, Diana Boal of "You can't undermine how protests. "Part of the reason is the Gulf War" Brian Mac Donald (military analyst) the Campus suggested much power students have," student protest," Kirkham said. Network Tuesday, March 5 the department was LoDico said. "(The department) didn't want to worried about O 11:30 - 1 in 4-305 "Changes in the Soviet union in a Global Environ- this discussion. Ascah comments also sug- add fuel to the fire. It's no secret ment" Dr. Thomas Hueglin (WLU Political Science) "There's a lot of speculation" gested the cancellation was to them that student activists are not O 1 - 2:30 in 2E6-1 "Nuclear Threat and Environmental Destruction — about the department's reasons motivated entirely by financial leaders of the protest to the war." How they Are Related" Dr. Doug McKenzie-Mohr (WLU Psychology) for canceling the ads, said CUP concerns. "I find it interesting Mike Brown of the Campus O 1 - 2:30 in "The Role of Multinational Corporations in the Third President Francesca LoDico. "It you're complaining about pulling SlOl Network called the move a "pro- -- One" Lev Gonick (WLU Political Science) wouldn't be the first time pres- ads when your paper just refused World Part active measure." "The department Wednesday, March 6 sure coming from a students' one of our ads," he said. realized the momentum at "Across O 11:30 -1 in PIOI3 "The Greenhouse Effect and Energy Conservation" movement had forced someone to the board it has to do with money, campus papers across the coun- Juliette delJunco (Pollution Probe) take stock of doing something. but with regard to your newspa- try." a per - Students had lot to do with it to □ 1 2:30 in Ll2B "The Right to Life" Annalise Steden (Right to Life) Several had do with your campus papers con- changing universities' policies on editorial policy." G 2:30 - 4 in PlOl7 "TBA" David Jackman (Project Ploughshares) sistently refuse to run national divestment, for example." He acknowledged that Thursday March 7 defence ads. Ascah estimated that news- It also would not be the first papers have the right to refuse ad- O 11:30 -1 in 2C7 "Women and Aids" Diane Redding (Health Unit) five of fifty papers that are usual- time student outcry had an effect vertising, but added that personal- 1 - 2:30 in 2C3 "Abused Women and Their Options" Sheri Mills ly willing to run ads had refused □ on an advertiser's policy. Last ly, he was disappointed with the House) them since the military (Anselma action at year, said LoDico, several CUP papers that had refused depart- Oka and the Persian Gulf. papers refused to insert glossy ment "They talk □ 1 - 2:30 in SlOl "The Role of Multinational Corporations in the Third ads. of free At their December confer- paper ads for Hollywood Jeans speech but then deny World - PartTwo Lev Gonick" (WLU Political Science) students the ence, papers belonging to Cana- because of environmental con- right to see our ads" he said. - "It's CJ 2:30 4 in 2C3 "Eco-Feminism and Deep Ecology" Dr. Donald dian (CUP) University Press con- cerns. This year, she said, the a discriminatory policy, and we Morgenson (WLU Psychology) sidered a collective ban on na- company had printed its inserts can't use public money to support All lectures are free of charge. tional defence ads. Although the on recyclable paper. it."

A General Information Session for all graduates interested c fi fghi j k ab d * Laurier nnnn n n I in the position of sTwmy I LIAISON OFFICER will be held TUESDAY MARCH 12 at 5:30 p.m. in P1025

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tive." rooms ... may be occupied as in a He was quick to note, how- demonstration by unauthorized ever, that Concourse space has to persons." Unauthorized persons be booked, which Elgin did not being those who have not booked do. He was also disturbing stu- with the Booking Office. dents in Computer Rooms nearby WLU members, in case of and classes in the CTB, added violation, are granted 15 minutes Lewis. to leave and failing that, face the Peter Eglin was also pleased following punitive measures. "1) that a discussion ensued. He removal, 2) arrest, 3) charges be- wanted to raise awareness of the fore a university body and/or be- event on campus, feeling dis- fore a civil court." mayed that the intellectual com- Dr. Eglin is fortunate that his munity on campus did not seem form of civil disobedience did not to have a reaction or response. land him in the courthouse. Some raging

Dr. Peter Eglin, psych prof going nuts an oil drum in the Concourse, hoped to raise the conscious- ness the university community. Instead, it raised the ire of Security, the Administration, and stu- homohpobia of dents doing work during the day, say, in the computer rooms, or the Central Teaching Building. Pic: Harvey Luong Mike Johnson The Eyeopener A LARGE white balloon with the slogan "breathe if you support heterosexuals" showed up in the cafeteria last week, apparently in Supporting the soldier response to the appeal from the Ryerson gay club for students to wear jeans on Wednesday if they supported homosexual rights. Believe me, if the troops over your own mind. For or against the The balloons which carried the business course union logo was Comment by Joe Hache in the Gulf could see your dis- war, Support Our Troops! removed by security as soon as it was noticed. play, it would mean a great deal "It's racism, sexist and homophobic at its worst," said Mary has been a student at THERE HAS been much criti- to them. Whether or not you sup- Joe Hache Pestall, staff manager in the Hub, the Ryerson cafeteria. "It's not port the aims of the war, the WLU for the last three years major- tolorated." cism of Peter Eglin's antics in the ing in Economics and Political troops (who are the instrument of course was proba- Concourse a couple of weeks ago. Science, and is a member the Ca- Members of the business union said the balloon government policy) are people of Allegations have been made nadian Armed Forces the past bly picked up after their GST pub February 7. too. for fif- saying he had no right to be teen and a half years. Recent ac- "If people want to express their feelings, why don't they stand be- "making his brand of music" for My third comment concerns a tivities on campus have provoked this hind them?" said Kent Carson, VP administration of the business all to hear. My view is somewhat personal experience that hap- comment, in particular the actions of course union. different. pened last week when I had to go WLU Professor Peter Eglin beating a Kelly Stephen, a member of the Gays and Lesbians at Ryerson, While I may not agree with to CFB London on business. I drum in the Concourse in reaction to said many people resented being asked to wear jeans to show support what Mr. Eglin says, I have to was in uniform (Air Force blue, the Gulf War, and the views ex- He said although jeans have nothing to do with gays or lesbians wear- the agree with what he was doing that of course) and I stopped for my pressed are those of author, and ing jeans. "This particular circumstance has everything to do with do not necessarily those day. He is a professor here and usual coffee and doughnut about reflect of supporting gay rights. We have a reponsiblity to make ourselves The Cord, the Armed Forces, or to people think halfway are not being a minority." his job is make there. donuts. visible. We satisfied with hidden for themselves, analyze informa- I got my money out to pay tion, and come to their own con- and the waitress told me I didn't clusions. This can only come need it. I tried to pay again and about if both sides of the question she said "I support you guys". On It's a New Salon. It's a New Year. are put forward. my way home I did a lot of think- We are bombarded daily on ing. Never in 16 years had this So out with the old and in with CNN with one side and it is happened to me. It wasn't the free refreshing to see debate. While I coffee, it was the feeling of being do not always agree with Mr. appreciated for what I do for a Eglin's tactics, he has assured me living. that this is not an attack on the Again, there was no mention soldier in uniform but instead on of being for or against the war, government and military policy. just a quiet word of support for "A 'Head' OF TODAY" He is doing everyone a ser- the troops. Believe me, as I drove vice by promoting debate on this home, I was damn proud to be a subject, and judging by the reac- Canadian and a member of the Big Free Pre-Spring Consultations! tion of the student population, he Canadian Armed Forces. did a good service. There are a lot of pros and Is there a change in your future plans? Then start My second comment is to the cons to this war. Loss of life is guys and girls who are running never easy to accept but neither is spring offright by letting us give you some friendly the "Support Our Troops" booth. armed aggression against one's Fantastic! In a school where some neighbour. We are in school to expert advice! profs openly push their views on learn and in order to learn we "attentive" students, it is hearten- need information. Accepting one " At HAIR FX to look good is to feel good." ing to see that people can accept side of an argument at face value this and still make up their own is not learning. Gather all the in- 56 King St.N. (off Princess St.) Waterloo minds. formation you can and make up 11991 GAAPSI Chrysler startsyou onyour way! 5750 CashRebate in addition to any other incentives PLUS NO PAYMENTS FOR 3 MONTHS on selected offers1

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you have allowed Hussein to keep Kuwait and encourage other naked aggressors to occupy for- Aurora Borealis eign countries? The fact of the matter is that by: Tim Sullivan. those who protest the war owe their freedom to protest to the Hussein, to destroy the Iraqi mili- LET'S BE realistic for a minute. military that protects the West tary capability, and to show all War is sometimes necessary. living en- other countries that the West still The standard of It was needed in 1939 to stop joyed by those who protest is controls the world, to boot. a ruthless aggressor from con- owed to the interests the military Some might say that it is quering Europe. Would anyone is protecting. wrong to establish hegemony in argue? Try protesting in Baghdad, certain parts of the world. War has been necessary in the and see where it gets you. But some country will regard- past to assert economic and Try going to school and living less. It as well be a country political interests of countries, may with the comforts of home in friendly unfriendly to too. than us. Baghdad. , Iraq was the hegemon the The case remains the same in in I admit that it would be great Mid East up until sometime after the Middle East. to have a world where we did not January now, time is The coalition partners are ac- 15 and the need guns, where a military was ting in what it thinks is their na- not important. unnecessary, and everyone could is a tional interests. The important point that be warm, fed, educated and The Kuwaiti and Saudi part- ruthless aggressor is being loved. ners have a clear interest - na- stopped, and a military threat is But we can only choose to do preserva- scene tional restoration and being removed from the for that in this country. We can vote tion, respectfully. a while, not to mention a nuclear against our own guns, but we It becomes a little more vague weapon potential removed in the can't vote against the guns of our when one talks about Canada's or process. "enemy". the United States' For interest. those that oppose the mil- Ask -- to stop Iraq: If not the Their stated objectives to itary action, are I ask: what would coalition, who? If not now, liberate Kuwait and enforce the Keep sanc- you rather have done? when? If not war, how? United Nations resolutions, but tions on a country used to don't insult me or yourself by shortages, and on a ruler who saying that there is more to it. cares nothing of his people? Do These are the opinions ofthe political realist we call Tim. any you You may as well say that the sky you think they would work? Have If of peace-nics have realistic criticism or is blue. they ever worked before? Why suggestions to have solved the prob- That is not to say that we start would they now? lem in Kuwait, write a Letter should not wholly support, not to the Would you have negotiated a idealism where only the troops, but the govern- Editor and put your Note how this worker is demonstating how to use settlement? Would you have yourrealism should be. ment policy which sent the troops given Iraq any oil fields? Would the new step in the WLUSU men's room to peek to the Gulf. you have made the link between The opinions in the previous disclaimer of over the stall, when it gets installed after renova- The further interests of the and Iraqi withdrawal and a opinions are strictly those of the author, *lOnS* coalition allies are to get rid of Palestinian resolution? Would and not necessarily those ofThe Cord Pic: Harvey Luong

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YOU KNOW, I've been thinking purpose of education is to allow a lot lately about the meaning of one the opportunity to learn how education. My goodness, that's a to learn. I guess that's where the bad idea. ability to work comes in. Of course, I am in English If I wanted a job, I'd take up and History, so there may be an apprenticeship. If my purpose some sort of connection between for attending this place was to my majors and my lack of channel myself into a job upon enthusiasm for the educational graduation, I sure as hell would system. I mean, how good can not be in English and History. you feel about school, academi- Come to think of it, if getting a cally speaking, when they force job was my sole goal in this uni- you to muddle through stuff like verse, I wouldn't be here. D.H. Lawrence and (insert any Do you remember when we historian's name here). It could, started university and everyone under some circumstances, be had all these wonderful ideas called a waste of time. That about what it would be like? seems to be what Business majors Well, I do. I thought it would be think. great sitting around in classes dis- "Hi, I'm in Business, what are cussing ideas and sharing you in?" thoughts and generally learning "Hi, I'm in English and His- about life in an abstract sort of tory." way. Boy, did reality ever grab "Oh, so what are you going to me by the back of the underwear do when you graduate? Work in and yank hard. an english company. (Chortle, Sometimes I think the only chortle.)" thing I've really learned is how to I have realized one thing tell time. Twenty minutes left. not seeing that's it's for. about the purpose of university Nineteen minutes left. And so on. I'm sure. today by how it worked what I people thought in the I'm learning how to learn. education. It is not, contrary to So if I'm not training to get The truth is, I think, that and what have not most importantly As certain man who made a what your guidance counselor plugged into the work force, and learned a lot. Perhaps past, but I have a on a myself. lot of money for looking dis- told you, meant to provide one I'm not learning what I wanted that much about what's the learned lot about with a job. It is to provide one to, what am I getting out of my curriculum, although I understand And that is educational. tinguished with nice silver hair a now not everyone a neat to say, it's with the ability to work. university education, besides whole lot more about why It might be what and voice used is, I not news, but that too, is reality. I was told yesterday that the frustrated? To tell you the truth, the world works the way it does says university but think You've Found the Place— \omtm: Y(SL r— W txmm imm X MICROWAY 286/12, VGA I $995.00 I Includes CPU with 1 MB RAM, 40 MB Hard Drive, one Floppy, Good Friends, Great Tiroe? Every Tirpe!

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CUP's legal representa- interviewed the staff of The to May felt AN ARTICLE entitled "A gay an increase in tuition. linking gays and les- tive Charlie Campbell is sure that Muse, nor did any charges ever that the issue tarnished icised for man's guide to erotic safer sex" to problems. the article is not obscene. arise. The controversy was gener- reputation bians his "I call that has brought a media blitz to Memorial's and will May's not as a result of any com- homophobic", Brake said. Memorial's Students' Union Memorial University's student ated cause a drop off in donations plaint lodged against the newspa- comments were later rescinded. is adamant that such a situation newspaper The Muse over ac- from alumni. per, but of the pressure created will not happen again. They are cusations of "moral corruption". from the media barrage. Brake thought that the idea Brake is confident that no currently negotiating with the was preposterous. "Less than half laid against of The Muse to establish a The article, contained in the "The day the supplement charges will ever be editors a million dollars in donations the paper or its staff. As a mem- publishing board. The newspa- annual Gay and Lesbian Supple- came out," Brake told The Cord, goes toward the operating Canadian University Press per's staff remain steadfast about ment, employed explicit language "the CBC came right down to the ber of budget", he said. organiza- their convictions regarding the ar- and a graphic of two men appar- office followed by other print and (CUP), a nation-wide newspapers, some willing to defend its ently engaged in oral sex in an at- electronic media. It was a real A local organization, Gays tion of student ticle and are of member papers have court. tempt to "eroticise" gay sex, coor- circus." and Lesbians Together, ha- their merits in dinatorPadraic Brake said. "Our methods are the same A gay men's guide to erotic sex educational tool in many North safe American centres," Brake said. "The Canadian AIDS Guide en- Thefollowing is an excerptfrom the article, written by Patrick Barnholden Anal intercourse with a condom courages communication in terms and Padraic Brake, that was printed in The Muse and stirred up a great deal (a lower risk activity) that the community uses to talk to controversy. The opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of of up feel Mark's hard cock pressing into my ass each other and being a member of The Cord, but we wholeheartedly support anyone's right to print it. As I woke I could was immediately reminded of last night My next move was to the gay community, I feel that it and WARNING: This article uses explicit language. If you can't cope reach down beside the bed and grab the last remaining condom. was done responsibly". with reality, don't read on. Opening the package as I could feel Mark smearing my ass with K-Y, Yet rumours have surfaced Fear of AIDS is no reason to decrease the amount of sex you have I could only think of the ecstasy I would feel within minutes. I put the over obscenity charges. The or the number of sex partners you have. As gay men and lesbians we rubber on the tip of his beautiful cock and squeezed the tip and rolled Globe and Mail reported that have adapted our sexual practices to take into account the risk factors it down to the base. Squirting more K-Y onto his cock he slipped it Lieutenant Shannahan of the of the various ways we live out our passions. HIV is the virus that is into my already lubricated ass. Royal Newfoundland Con- thought to cause AIDS and it can be passed from one person to anoth- The introduction of safe sex has been crucial to the efforts of our stabulary announced "we are er during sex through the exchange of cum or blood. But remember, community to educate ourselves. Telling our stories of wild safe sex looking at the gay and lesbian since we learned about how to protect ourselves from HIV we've had serves to make us aware of the myriad possibilities for lust and pas- supplement to determine whether years to learn how to make safe sex exciting. Fun and worth staying sion in our lives. Anyone can become infected with HIV but anyone there are reasonable and probable awake at night for. It is not the number of people or the kind of can also play safe. Learning how to use a condom properly and as-

grounds to lay charges for of- people you have sex with that puts you at risk — it is specific high sessing the risk factors of various activities is all you need to know to dealing fences with corrupting risk activities — activities you can easily avoid. play safe. morals." Students Union B : n \ l I S \I Hffi ** I Vice-Presidents h I :| I

needed in WHHBh|K, - 3HF fifF JB I election aftermath Dublin Garred Coyne The Cord

WHEN THE dust clears, and all the directors are in place for next year, some major decisions are to be made. In addition to the President, the VP: Student Affairs and 15 Direc- tors, all elected positions, WLUSU is made up of department heads, namely VP: Finance, VP: Student Activities, and VP: Media and Communications. These three latter positions are hired positions, but no less important than other executive positions. The only real dif- ference is that hired members of the executive do not have voting rights at meetings of the Board of Directors. The new president, Nick Jimenez, will be looking to have these executive positions filled by students who will be full time next year. The jobs are rewarded with a salary of $285 per month, as well as $285 per week for the month of May, not the $600 reported last week in The Cord. Challenger Portrait Studios I The following are brief descriptions of the positions. Applications arc available as of Monday, March 4, and will be accepted no later than 4:30, Friday, March 8. The VP: Finance manages the WLUSU budget of almost $2 mil- lion, handles investments of the corporation, does committee work, and sets planning priorities for the corporation. The VP: Student Activities is in charge of coordinating and coor- dinators of student activities, which include concerts, bands, movies, the Charity Ball, Homecoming, Boar's Head Dinner, Oktoberfest, and Orientation, just to name a few. The VP: Media and Communications handles all internal market- ing of WLUSU events, public relations within the university and community at large. Although there are other planned changes for VP: Media and Communications, including an advertising department they are not yet finalized. For more information, go up to the Student Union offices, 2nd floor of the Student Union Building. the cord 10 NEWS Thursday February 28. 1991 CampusClips ON THE GREEN Laurier...and beyond THE ENVIRONMENT WITH SARAH WELSTEAD IT'S BEEN a while since I've lectured in the blue Most commercially available cleaning products box vein, but how can you be environmentally are quite toxic (if Javex burns your skin when you savvy if no one tells you what to do? So today we'll clean with it, just imagine what it can do to little take a trip around the kitchen and, step by step, fishes) and remain so when they hit ground water or show you how to make it more environmentally soil. Stop! Thief! compatable. Next on our tour is the garbage pail, probably We'll start with appliances: your stove and the most over-used container in the kitchen. Most fridge are two of the biggest potential energy kitchen garbage can be reduced dramatically if you CRIME HAS struck the offices of Student Publications. It appears wasters in your house. The most important thing to cut down on a few things: foil and saran wrap are that some egotistical, arrogant, trouble-making, repressed delinquent remember with the fridge is to keep it full. Cold or largely unnecessary if you have a good set of Tup- has run off with a waxer, a machine that applies a layer of wax to a frozen food holds on to the cold, so when the fridge perware. piece of paper. Campus security is investigating the really mature act door is opened, it takes less work for the fridge to You can store leftover food in Tupperware, take Waxers, virtually useless to anyone who does not produce a newspa- keep the temperature down. your lunches to school in it, and though it might per or yearbook, cost upwards of $845.25. Insurance will likely cover The less food in the fridge, the more energy the warp, it never wears out. It saves money too (I got the loss, but it will be the students who ultimately pay. If it were a fridge has to expend to cool down the air. Keep the my roommate to buy ours, so now I don't pay for Xerox, we would have a copy, but it wasn't. fridge and freezer set at a medium temperature and foil or Tupperware). keep them full. Paper towels are a waste of paper, and you While there is some evidence to support the should be using J-cloths or at least unbleached, contention that microwave ovens use less energy recycled paper towels. Windows and mirrors can be than convection ovens, how many students are cleaned very effectively with some environmentally Dean will return prepared to go out and buy one? sound window cleaner and newspaper (which you So just use your convection oven wisely: cook could probably still recycle afterwards). more than one thing at a time, and, when cooking And of course you should have your blue box during the winter, turn down the thermostat and let handy in the kitchen for all your newspaper DR. J. ALEX MURRAY, Dean of the School of Business and Eco- and the oven heat the place up. Creativity is key when glass and aluminum containers. Tritech nomics, has been re-appointed Dean for a third term. WLU President no longer saving the planet. takes the plastic containers like you get margarine John Weir and V.P. Academic Don Baker made the appointment on The sink area is another place where you can in, but you can reuse these for lots of things, like to the advice of the Search Committee on February 12, 1991. Now all we need is a new President. really make changes. First, replace any loose supplement your Tupperware collection or to use in washers on the faucet -- a dripping tap can waste as buying bulk food. much as 100 litres a day (the equivalent of one big Generations will also take your old containers bubble bath or five toilet flushes). to give to their customers who forget to bring their When doing the dishes, don't leave the tap run- own.

ning to rinse - fill the other sink with a few inches .. .Pres will not of water orrun the tap only when rinsing. I know, you probably already knew all about Generations, an environmentally-safe-products how to make your kitchen environmentally perfect. store up on Marsland Drive, sells all kinds of kitch- So why aren't you already doing this stuff? It's the FACULTY members will be allowed to cast ballots for representa- en cleaning products, like dishwashing soap. Save end of February, you spent what little money you tives to the Presidential Search Committee. Dr. Weir's term expires in your present dishwashing soap bottle and fill it up had over reading week. Can you really afford not to 1992, and has announced he will not seek another term. It's a good there when you need soap. You can also get other environmentalize your kitchen? In almost every thing we at least have a Dean of the School of Business and Econom- kinds of 'safe' cleaning products to replace Glass case, saving the environment means saving money, ics. Plus and Comet. and your kitchen is a very lucrative place to start. t/ DADTVI yCT® PARTY! fig /ra|\ PARTY! #

' nv 'te P' zza Pizza to your next party. I ot tt-»t I

— — K Our Pizza Lover s Party Pizza is I If you have a place you'd like 25 M xl 7" and has 24 large squares. v I to sublet this summer, or if Perfect for a large group I you need a place to live for or very hungry party. 1 the summer, drop by at a I Legal Resources I (by the t.v. lounge) Check out I what we have available • E or call: ll^ I Thursday February 28, 1991 Business Editor: Tim "I don't have an attitude problem" Bartkiw 11 Business So you came here for Co-op

match- every student. "It might not be by "Jobs reflect the economy", Thompson remains optimistic. He cordingly. After last years By: Tim Bartkiw says John Thompson, the Direc- explains that this low number of ing process, about 55 students May 1 that we do this, it may tor of Co-operative program. positions at present is not com- remained unplaced. Thompson well take into May". He went on " projects that this year the number to only This week marks the beginning "The amount (of positions) is pletely unfamiliar. It was a say that the students need he of unplaced students after to work 12 weeks to fulfill the of the interviewing stage for sec- lower than we would have liked tough one last year", said. re- rise to 75 or 80. quirements of co-op ond year co-op business and eco- to have seen." Thompson went on After these initial interviews there "matching" will the program, gives nomics students. Interviews be- to explain that most of Laurier's is a "matching" process, when Thompson maintains that in the and that this the students gan Monday, as the 215 regis- co-op jobs are with firms in students and companies rate each past, the Co-op office has always and the co-op office lots of time other, to meet their objectives. tered students vie for their first Southern Ontario, which is suf- and students are placed ac- met its commitments and placed work term position, to begin May fering from a severe downturn in 1. They hope. manufacturing. Further, the It seems that this year it may be provincial government's plans for very difficult for the Co-op office a driver-owned auto insurance to make good on its 215 scheme has caused insurance Nerds in trouble promises. So far the school has companies to freeze hiring, since only secured about 120 jobs with their industry may be in for a publishing. "Economists who By: Dwayne Matoube selves taking on new the business community. The severe shock. responsibilities, now that their de- have managerial talent have recession is taking its toll. Despite present conditions, opportunities in the For those studying the dismal partments are being slashed. tremendous the days when large 1990'5", said Robert Rollo of science, the news is not good. It Gone are economic departments were Korn Ferry International, a that one of the largest " appears firm. But the nerds employers of economists - the maintained to provide prestige for recruitment the institution, or for academic arc in trouble." Alumnus films banks - are re-examining the value of their economic depart- ments. In the U.S. where the trend is greatest, the number of Laurier life "listed" bank economists has fal- len by 50% since 1985. A large cause of this trend is the By: Phil McCracken fact that commercial banks have rcduced lending to lesser devel- Anastasia Phillips says you don't need to study business to do it. A oped countries, so economic re- Laurier communications studies graduate, Anastasia's entrepreneurial search on these on these LDC's spirit has pushed her into her new venture - The Video Time Capsule. has diminished. The recession is Upon graduation in 1990, Phillips tested her new idea at Queens' also taking its toll. Banks, like University in Kingston. After success there, she has returned to her other companies, have been alma mater, to produce a video yearbook here at Laurier. She plans to trying to shed excess payroll expand operations next year to include Western and possibly McGill. costs by trimming the fat from Phillips feels that Laurier is a campus having less than average their ranks. Each employee, in or- school spirit, but that her product should go over well despite this. der to keep their job, must make She feels that this may be filling a niche currently not being met by some contribution to the bottom Student Publications. Her video yearbook is priced at $22, a price line. According to Jack Kyser, which she emphasizes is cheaper than the Keystone. Also, in her chief economist at the Los marketing of The Video Time Capsule, Phillips claims that students Angeles Chamber of Commerce, are more likely to be in her product than the yearbook. "If you are at a bank, you must Despite the obvious threat to Keystone sales, Phillips has been able create value. It is possible, but to secure support of WLUSU. The Students' Union has been working very, very difficult for the Phillips, in a joint promotional effort, to try to get this economists to do that." together with pic by: Jo-Ann Julien project off the ground. A sneak-preview of the complete tape can be Economists are finding them- seen in Wilf's now and then. To solicit student input, Phillips offers all students the chance to submit home video footage of campus life, residence parties, or even Spring Break adventures. Further, Laurier students are hired to do Whoa Nelly! filming, sales, and promotion. Those with artistic talent can also sub- mit designs for the cover of the product. Wilson clamps down in budget of restraint

By: Timothy J. Bartkiw earmarked for health and education

- reduce Canada Jobs Strategy funding by $100 Here are the highlights from the federal budget million speech of Tuesday, February 26th, 1991: - delay of support for Cultural Research Institute in Montreal, and other cultural programs - All GST revenues to flow directly into a newly - Toronto's Opera House will not receive the created "Debt Servicing and Reduction Fund", in planned $88 million assistance

order to pay down the debt - 25% increase in UI premiums to employers and - General program funding increases limited to employees, due to projected deficit of this fund 1.7%, while certain exempted programs may grow - a 3 cent per cigarette tax increase at 3.9%

- No wage budget increases for departments Opposition to Michael Wilson's latest budget - A refusal to allow Public Service wage increases claim that it is inappropriate for recessionary times. above 3%, including high ranking executives in the Cuts in spending and a lack of any job creation Public Service strategy are the two points of greatest criticism. - # of Public Service senior managers to be reduced Some of the harshest reaction came expectedly by 10% from the Public Service, and from provincial - New spending $3 billion to unemployed governments. $1.6 b to elderly The Association of Universities and Colleges of $1.3 b to farmers assistance Canada has recently been lobbying the federal $.6 b to defense government regarding post-secondary education pic By: Chris Skalkos - decrease in grants to business by $75 million in funding. Their recommendations included restoring 1991, and $125 million in 1992 educational payments to provinces to the level they At 8am, tell me you love me or respect me. me don't still Just tell - current freeze on transfers to provinces extended were at before the last budget's cutbacks. Obvious- there's coffee. to '94, and '95. Yep, that means less dollars ly, their efforts have been in vain. war cry of the third year business student the cord COMMENT Thursday February 28, 12 1991

cover photo by Harvey Luong thecord FEBRUARY 28; 1991 VOLUME XXXI, ISSUE 22 EDITORIAL BOARD

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF TonyBurke NEWS ED1T0R...... Mark Hand ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Tim Sullivan FEATURES EDITOR ..Gail Cockburn SCENE EDITOR GuyEtherington SPORTS EDITOR „....Brock Greenhalgh BUSINESS EDITOR Tim Bartkiw PRODUCTION

MANAGER...... Christine Yarwood

Production Assistants: Roxanne Chartrand, Darcelle Hall Karen Lennox Classified Co-ordinator Charlotte Gravlev Circulation and Filing. Cathy-Jo Noble Graphics Artist.. ...,JM Artinger Copy Editors Mike v. Bodegom Kevin Tessner Golly, we feel good CONTRIBUTORS: I love the people who walk around with their nice little tans and pearly white teeth all smug and fresh Sarah Welstcad, Martin Walker, D.O.S. Weeden, Rob from Reading Week. Can you believe that some geek I saw is walking around in shorts and a t-shirt Cresswell, Jeff Dragich, Anna Dongelmans, Chris Dodd, Rob Hums. fRASER J. kIRBY, Chris Skalkos, Roxanne proudly displaying his tanned outer-organ. I sure wish that I was able to go away for Reading Week, Chartrand, Jennifer Epps, David Setka, Terry Grogan, but my work didn't allow me to do so. I also really like the fact that it is almost March and we are still Colin Buehler, Ed Rusk, Kathy O'Grady, Charlotte Grav- getting five inches of snow everyday. lev, A.D., Andrew Bailey, Cathy-Jo Noble, Jana Watson, Joe Hache and waxer theives everywhere. Production: Larry Coker, Jennifer Epps, Terry Grogan Flipping through the 1991-92 Wilfrid Laurier University Undergraduate Calender students will notice and Sarah Welstead. that there are a number of pictures throughout the handbook, showing various facets of life at Laurier. Photo: Tom Szeibel, Harvey Luong, Jo-Ann Julien, to able to these familiar faces after most of the James Neilson, Chico Galvez, Chris Skalkos and Jennifer It's really great be see year year. Actually, pictures Kuntz. show people that, for the most part, do not grace the hallowed halls of the buildings on campus. But STUDENT PUBLICATIONS this provides us with models for us to build our characters to meet. Fine people with fine clothes and fine teeth. Just fine. SYSTEMS TECHNICIAN Michael Myc

PHOTO MANAGER ...... — Tom Szeibel

Photo Technlcians:.— .. .. Chico Galvez Hardship builds up character and what could be harder than working overnight in a building without a — — Jo-Ann Julien working washroom. Thank you WLUSU for building a 24 hour accessible washroom for the women Graphic Arts Technician Niki Westman ADVERTISING: and incapacitating both of them for two weeks in the process. MANAGER Martin P.L. Walker Production Manager.. Rick Dales When I had a retainer in my mouth, I used to have the problem of getting poppy seeds stuck in it from Assistant....— — Steve Ladouceur delicious pizza the ladies in the Torque Room sell. Now that I no longer have that Advertising Representatives; those pretzels lovely are on Laura K. Lee, Dennis Bon, retainer I still eat the pretzels, but I still wonder why the poppy seeds them. Marc Navabi, James Neilson BOARD OF DIRECTORS Speaking of the Torque Room, I am really very thankful that I can buy a ham and cheese croissant and Jana Watson, President get free a genuine piece of rubber that looks as if it came off of someone's shoe or underwear band. It Jim Boyee Stuart Lewis is real chewy and helps to build up my jaw muscles. Thank-you Torque Room staff. Keep up the care- Vlad Kinastowski DanMuys Peter Roose Tom Samac ful work. Moe Athia The best thing about living in residence was the snow plows that came to visit me in the wintertime. It INQUIRIES: 884-2990(Editorial) 884-5092 (Advertis- was awfully hot in our room so my roommate and I used to leave the window open, even on the ing). National advertising by Campus Pins: (416) 481- of 7283 coldest nights. It was just like waking up to the singing of angels on those early, crisp, fresh hours the still-dark morning.

The Cord welcomes all feedback, comments, criticisms, gifts, and suggestions from oar readers. Please submit letters to the Editor typed and The best thing about having roommates is the fact that they have this instinct that tells them that you double-spaced by Tuesday at noon for the following publication. We can and heaping piles of food dishes for only print letters that bear the author's ml name, telephone number, and just love to do dishes. So, they instinctively leave piles covered LD. number Of applicable), but your name may be withheld by request. you to wash. I really love my roommates for being that in tune with the animal/instinctual aspect of The Cord also welcomes all submissions but remember that they become the property of The Cord and we reserve the right to edit and refuse any themselves. submissions. Furthermore, The Cord wall not print anything considered tobe sexist, racist orhomophobic in natureby the staff as a voting body. Eight month, 24 issue Cord subscription rates aw: $20.00 for ad- Wilfrid Laurier is a great, great school because it is so small 'c' conservative. It is really comforting to dresses within Canada and $25 outside the country. Co-op students may That subscribe at a rate of$10 per four month workterm. know that there will never be any new, controversial form of anything to come out of this school. The offices of The Cord are located on the second floor of the could indeed be a dangerous thing. It is good to keep following old, boring and unimaginative concepts Burke/Etherington weak-bladderclinic but keep away because there is no washroom and things are getting messy. The Cord is printed by the and the people that promote them. I love having a one or two-dimensional imagination and thinking somewhat fine people at Ricter Web Press in Brantford, Ontario. The Cord is published weekly in the fall and winter terms. The process. I love the administration at this school for providing me with that. Cord is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association. Copyright (c) 1991 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Ave. West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5. No part of this publication may Editorial topics are approved by the Editorial Board of The Cord and are independent of the Univer- be reproduced without permission of the Editor-in-Chief. sity, WLUSU, and the Student Publications Board ofDirectors. the cord Th ursday February 28. J 991 COMMENT 13 Eglin: I am The Question not a crook! of the Week Regrettably, it is not a fact that I "created the 'panty raid Letters to the Editor controversy'" (McCracked, Cord Letters are welcome from all members of the WLU community 14/2/91). A number considerable All submissions must be within 400 words and bear the author's What is the most disgusting thing of angry women -- including real name and phone number for verification. Names may be sociology in your refrigerator? some excellent students withheld by request. The Cord will print as many letters as beat me to it. space allows unless the letter is deemed potentially libellous, or attempts to incite hatred or violence towards individuals or Tragically, it is not a fact that -- including women, men, lesbians and gays, such denizens of my SYIOO sec- identifiable groups by Chris Skalkos religious and people with a disability. tion (last taught in Intersession ethnic and groups, 1989) as Emile Durkheim, Karl Marx, Max Weber, Thomas Hobbes, Talcott Parsons, Robert everything Merton, Joseph Gusfield, ly opined that 75% of misspelled my name. I am trying Kingsley Davis, Stanley Mil- is rubbish, and that certainly in- though, and as soon as I've got

-- teaching. But in the -- gram, Harold Garfinkel, Erving cludes my one a record, that is Our roommate's pink letter, Goffman, Harvey Sacks, Fyodor case of McCracked's McCracked shall be the first to bottle of laxatives. methinks that is rather Dostoevsky, Ned Polsky, Wes percentage know. Sharrock, Karl Popper, Steve low. As to the charge that in op- Jen and Karen Biko, Jim Jones and Alvin Gould- posing my government's role in Ist year Living with Also, and perhaps dis- were, arc now (or, I venture, this obscene war I am "assisting Michelle ner appointingly, it is not a fact that I ever shall be) members of the and supporting a mass murderer" have a criminal record; the charge NDP; but John Porter quite likely let me respond by adapting some of mischief was dropped. I was was, Dorothy Smith probably is, words of Reg Whitaker (York, once done for speeding, and once and I certainly am. Political Science) reply to for going through a yellow light, in similar sentiments expressed by "endless drivel", it but the judge dismissed the latter Regarding Globe and Mail columnist Jef- not untrue that I have frequent- charge because the officer had is frey Simpson (9/1/91, A 12): "I profoundly resent the arrogant presumption that if I do not buy the [Bush/Mulroney/McCracked] Lone drummer line, I am a tool of Saddam Hus- I don't know but it moved sein. I happen to think I have at least as good reasons for my posi- Ward Black tion as [McCracked] does for his. Ist Year Stud needs work I refrain from drawing the con- clusion that Mr. [McCracked] is a The free all-day concert in the audience was not impressed with dupe of U.S. President George concourse on Wednesday 13Feb- the show. Perhaps some sort of Bush and the Pentagon, since I ruary was extremely disappoint- gimmick would be useful in fu- assume he is responsible for his ing. Organizers had neglected to ture performances, such as own opinions. I wish he would be book a band, and scrambled at the costumes, or make-up. Look how as generous to [me]." last minute for a fill in. effective it is for such famous en- Yours sincerely, tertainers as the "Ultimate War- Poor planning is blamed for Peter Eglin rior" and "Demolition". the spectacle which was present- Dept. of Sociology and Practise and experience can ed. The singer appeared to forget Anthropology definitely polish this performer's roommate. his lines at times, the drum beat My style, and a long road trip would was monotonous, and the musi- do wonders. cal message unclear. Letters Jon Stover continue... 4th Year Andy Stubbs A critical and knowledgeable Marshall Thompson Fan Club INK PINKBecoming politically active by D.O.S. Weeden The moldy chicken that rotten eggs and In recent months the organization Queer Na- (Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights in Onatrio). smells like tion has drawn much attention to itself and to the Under the blanket of these organizations one can olives. gay community. Their "queers are here" program affect political, legal, or social policies and not and their general in-your-face attitude has drawn have to be publically out of the closet. Becoming Grace Dueck much criticism and approval from both the gay and involved in counselling or support groups can be a 4th Year Kentucky Fried straight communities. It is, however of no doubt very rewarding experience and help to establish a Chicken that Queer Nation and other similar politically- strong sense of community. Being politically active oriented groups have made much headway in the can even be as easy as writing for a local or school establishment of gay rights, but many feel that they news-letter or -paper (gay or publically oriented). have done just as much to tarnish the image of the gay community. Gays and lesbians in Ontario enjoy many legal and social comforts not present in other provinces As with any social and/or political cause, there and countries (this is not to say we have not yet a are many different factions all fighting for more or long way to go). It would only seem fair that every- less the same thing. The activities and methods can one put back into the community what they get out My twenty month old vary dramatically from organization to organization of it. Some people will make their activism a full greenish-black oranges. and if you decide to become politically active in the time job, others will simply sign a petition if asked. gay community you have to decide what level of Either is fine as long as you do something to help to Andrew Bailey activity you feel comfortable with. expand the quality of the gay and lesbian lifestyle. 3rd Year Botulism Get involved, it's for your own benefit. Becoming politically active need not mean you actively participate in marches and protests, nor does it mean you cannot maintain anonymity. It is The opinions expressed by the author of Pink Ink very easy to become involved with local organiza- may not neccessarily reflect those of the Cor. uff, tions or with larger lobby groups like CLGRO WLUSU, WLUSP, or the University. the cord 14 COMMENT Thursday February 28. 1991 Periodical theft is really evil behold, there I came across the stole, confiscated, robbed, the ar- but will never have the op- faithful also in much; and he who perfect article for my topic. ticle right out of the periodical. I portunity to do so. We are the is unrighteous in a very little Letters Delighted at such a treasure, I don't care what Freud's theories privileged few who have been thing is unrighteous also in much. ...continued hurriedly proceeded to locate my are, the bottom line is that this is given the grace to be able to go to "If therefore you have not source. evil: evil, evil,evil. There is no university. been faithful in the use of the un- There is a controversy in the The periodical was bound to- explanation for it. But I ask you, are we thank- righteous mammon, who will theological circles over the con- gether with others so I proceeded Now you may be saying to ful? NNNNNNooooooooo! We entrust the true riches to you? cept of evil. Some say that it ex- to locate my source. The periodi- yourself, "Oh you poor little rip articles off for our own selfish "And if you have not been ists but others refuse to believe it. cal was bound together with poopsie," but all jokes aside, this reasons not giving a hoopla about faithful in the use of that which is Well my fellow students the issue others so I proceeded to locate the is a wretched thing done by some my neighbour. Like I said, this is another's, who will give you that is now solved. I have met evil article in the bound up volume. wretched wretch who deserves evil. which is your own (Luke 16:10- face to face. nothing better than a wretched Now it may be true that there 12)?" If we all would have been Leafing through the periodical It was a wet, dreary, dull day. end to his university career. are more important things to faithful in the little things, the big I was quickly coming to the place The type of day where the sun Let's face it folks, there are worry about but there is a things that are now upon us where it was located; but instead never got out of bed and you feel probably a billion other poor wonderful expression that comes wouldn't exist. Need I say more? of finding my precious as if you should have stayed in article I people who would give their right from the bible that says:"He who found evil its place. Yes bed. in folks, arm to be able to go to university is faithful in a very little thing is Hans Witzke I am not kidding. Anyway, what else is there to do on such a day except to do re- It was gruesome beyond des- search. Off I went to die periodi- cription. It was a sight ac- cal section where I was ac- companied with a stench that by dreary turn over a generation clanging companied other souls could in Is unknown who had the same idea. their graves. We're talking I shlepped and strained serious business here. Someone through the indexes till finally, had ripped, we're talking, tore, the well of thought?

I am a first year student who Saddam Hussein as the next by these leaders (Kuwait, Austria, Silence war by chance was writing Dr. Adolf Hitler, and there are strik- Czechoslovakia) were later Preece's Political Science 100 ing similarities between the Nazi claimed to be neutral parts of exam on Wed. Feb. 13. This may madman and Iraq's President. their nations despite treaties and lead you to wonder why I am These two men both formed ar- declarations to the contrary. not drummer writing in, answer mies so large that their only pur- and the is Should history repeat itself as simple. While writing my exam I pose could be conquest. On February 13, 1991, Dr. drum was taken away because it many may suggest, could Hus- was distracted several times by a Both Hussein and Hitler led Peter Eglin beat a drum all morn- infringed on people's rights. sein's next action, before Coali- clanging from God knows where. their countries through long ing in the concourse of the Stu- Stuart Lewis' argument came tion intervention have been any- When I finished my exam I drawn-out wars of attrition: dent Union Building. down to: "you can say whatever thing less than an attack on his found the source of my distrac- World War II and the 8 year long He was beating it in mourning you want, as long as people want was Professor Eglin pound- Iran-Iraq war. Both men staged neighbours. After this, an- over the hundreds of women and to hear it." tion other ing oil in to campaigns of mass terror directed attempt at genocide children killed in the bombing of The excuse about taking the on an drum protest other per- the Persian Gulf War. While I do at their own people (the gassing chance? While the loss of life at Baghdad, and in protest against drum away because of the dis- not begrudge the professor his of the Kurds, the mass executions time, particularly during war the war in the Persian Gulf. turbance to people is lame. any right to protest, I do resent the of Jews, gypsies and Slavs in is it not better to Just after noon, his drum was Though I don't doubt that the is unwanted, fact that he did not respect my death camps) while also lightning stop wanton aggression at the confiscated by security because drum could be heard in the com- rights. fast offensive tactics to conquer cost of 10,000 lives than at the people claimed that it was dis- puter rooms, so also could the Finally, your indulgence their unsuspecting neighbours cost 100,000,000? turbing their work in the nearby bands that play in the concourse, with of I would like to make a brief (Poland, Kuwait). computer rooms. I want to exam- the comedians that perform there, parallel. Some have referred to The first countries conquered Remi Pleasance ine this briefly. and the crowds at events like I heard the drum when I came Mazola bowling. to class at about 9 am. I looked There is nothing special about into the concourse to see what noise in the concourse. The drum was going on, and when I saw made noise in people's con- that Peter Eglin was beating the sciences. This was what our uni- Fitting it together drum I immediately understood. versity adminstration, acting It was a drum of war, and it sistence that we can know only a part of the truth through its security forces de- StraightUp, opinionby reminded me that our country is cided to silence. JuliaBrenndorfer when we're in our lives on earth. participating in a war even if we The drums of war are beating Moving through class after class, I notice that But even more, I appreciate Paul's encourage- at WLU have insulated ourselves in the Persian Gulf and we are my thinking cap is starting to fray at the edges. ment that the small part of the truth which we can reality of war. I roll- from the that comfortable with that, but when Sure, I can try to convince myself that I just love grasp is significant enough to get our thoughts I Paul heard it when went through the even a symbolic reminder arises sharpening my mind to tackle "intellectual" ques- ing towards an ultimate source of wisdom. ab- concourse to lunch at 11:30. in our university we terminate it tions. But too much academia in one day makes me never stopped trying to learn more about this When I came back just after within hours. We should be so ef- prefer not to think too hard about intelligent ans- solute reality, this God, whom he spent his life noon, the drum was being taken ficient with terminating the war wers to those questions. serving. Yet he served with complete trust that God away from Dr. Eglin. in the Gulf. After an overload of pondering theories about is a concrete influence in the world, and not just Our redoubtable student presi- the world and the meaning of life, I often wish I some shadowy presence out there or one more dent explained that while he sup- John Marshall had one foolproof answer that would cover any proof that human beings have great imaginations. ported freedom of expression, the M.A. Religion & Culture question that could be thrown at me. It would be Trying to find out if God's for real by brain- great if I could know for certain what's for real in power alone is like building a ramp of reason this world and beyond it. Better still, I'd like to towards a frustratingly invisible goal. Eventually, have some concreete evidence which would show you've got to take a leap into mid-air, building a the cord there really is one source of wisdom that never gets life on the faith that there's more to this than ab- the newspaper for the ht.utleritH of WLU stumped. stract reasoning. The promise God made is that One source of wisdom, one absolute, one God? those who have faith in Him are standing on a solid After listening to endless circles of debate in class rock, not a bed of quicksand. when trying to prove how valid any abstract con- If God's only a figment of the human imagina- cept is, it doesn't seem likely that you can prove tion, then His promises shouldn't be able to trans- God's existence the intellectual way. Unless some- form human lives. Instead, He brings joy and peace one could actually pull God out of a hat for all to to those who've stood on the rock and felt a bond see, then the idea of faith in one invisible but Al- with a loving and personal Lord who's eager to mighty Creator and Lord of the universe might al- make the reality of His being known. ways remain yet another unprovable theory to be I won't ever be able to pull God out of a hat tossed around when you're feeling philosophical, or when logical arguments about His existence run in maybe just a bit spiritual. circles around me. But I can reply that it just could We can speculate all we like on the possible be worthwhile to take a leap of faith if there's a ways in which our world was created, how the hu- possibility that you can become friends with an ap- man race evolved, and whether there actually are proachable and caring Being who's wise enough to forces out there which have power over our fit the whole puzzle of human history together. destinies. But we know that we can't say for 100 per cent certain that we can fit all the pieces of the "Straight Up" world history puzzle together through our own in- The opinions expressed in the Its not easy digging may not tellectual questioning and factfinding. Accepting columns remain those of the author and views Cord or WLUSP. up the dirt around this place." that helps me to appreciate the apostle Paul's in- reflect the of The the cord Thursday February 28, 1991 15

Courtesy of theWestern Gazette. FUNNIESTHE CORD'S PAGE the cord 16 FEATURE Thursday February 28. 199 J Get Involved

help. Liking entertainment stuff Feeling like a couch might be handy too. potato and want to It's a fun job-a fair bit of work but lots of fun. You become do something con- an entertainment guru around the structive and offices—everyone comes to you with questions. It's great for your meaningful with ego. It's an interesting job. your life, or just It's great for a good time. realizing that you have an empty Photo Manager resume? This is it, your ticket to fame, The photo manager is an indi- fortune and self- vidual who must be able to fulfillment. Applica- maintain his/her sanity (and dig- nity, if possible!) in situations of tions close for Stu- sheer pandemonium. The posi- dent Publication tion involves arranging for volunteer photographers to cover positions on March all events of importance, and 14 (you know, when ensuring that photo requests for the Cord and the Keystone are Brutus and Caesar processed by the hired photo had their tiff ages staff. Occasionally the photo manager aspires to certain crea- ago). So get on up to tive endeavors, such as designing needs a person with good judge- Features Editor long fuse and are not prone to the second floor of cover pages of the Cord. ment. Several pages per week blowing up at co-workers because Knowledge and expeience in could be filled with dribble about you will feel like it. Another big the Student Union photography, darkroom skills, events, being to staying business students, their Don't believe all those other plus is used up and creativity are assets, but not favorite beers, so forth. all hours Tuesday nights. At Building and apply their and people, my job is the niftiest. I'm until requirements, for this position. One must question the effect of first will try to stick to all the one who got to put this swell you now. Perks of this job include un- on a soon you'll such media usage campus al- feature together, that's right, I'm your deadlines but limited access to darkrooms, a suffering divisions, futility of it all and ready from the features editor. The features realize the neat office, and commisions on some extent elitism (in resign yourself to the fact that and to editor has the advantage (and dis- private photo orders. never make any Wed- some minds). advantage) of doing it all. You you will challenge, nesday morning classes. (Closes March 7,1991) So, if you want a and too get to coerce your could benefits! aren't afraid to piss a few people friends, loved ones and complete But remember all the Entertainment Editor try. fun decision off, then give this a strangers (or yourself if you're Besides all the Photo Technician stuck) into writing six pages of making, the prod, person earns a honoraria, an something significant and $700 gets to share in (a Life the fast lane of rock meaningful (or just long). You office with the features editor and roll journalism. It's quite a very nice person) and is entitled Two photo technicians are also get to think of groovy life. Lots of lotsa's to the free pizza on Monday and hired to develop film and process Sports graphics and innovative lay-out at Lotsa people to meet, lotsa Editor Tuesday nights. prints to in Keystone the last possible moment. But free tapes to get, lotsa people to be used the wait, that's not all, you also get to schmooze free tickets and inter- and The Cord, and to assist with Well, let me see. What can I produce the feature. This in- out of, long the coverage of exciting events... say so that people will actually views lotsa fun dis- volves a keen eye, a sense of line tance phone calls to various parts sports, guest speakers and con- apply for the position of Sports and a great deal of frustration. of North America, lotsa entertain- certs (free passes included), to Editor. Apart from following in Copy Editor name Don't worry, I never concerned ment type people to meet and talk but a few. Desirable my shoes, there are no real myself too much with straight to get, qualities include good night vi- bonuses to the position. Sure, you Have you ever noticed that the to, lotsa autographs lotsa lines and even spacing (how anal lotsa's. sion, high tolerance of harmful get to make decisions on the Cord is wholly and completely everyone is up here). Oh yeah, Last year the main purpose of chemicals, and the ability to fore- editorial board and have an office without spelling mistakes, gram- the editing bit. Technically you job to plaster the/my/our go a good-night's sleep on pro- and a desk with your name on it. and just plain this was should check grammar and spell- matical errors office with as many as duction nights. Oh yeah, and a Sure, you get to work with great typos? Well alright, I guess we posters ing and libel and all those other you could find/buy/help yourself love of photography is also help- people at The Cord and all the haven't either, but hell, we do things we do so well. If you hate to. year though, I ful. pizza you can eat on Tuesday we can - we're copy editors. This decided advertisements in your stories and what not to get tons posters—l In addition to a modest nights. Maybe you'll get a chance Essentially, copy editors proof- of like nice long meaty exposds, and wanted more of that minimalist honourarium, the photo techs will to publish some of your work and We're the last ones to see want to learn how to do every- read. Next year, the be showered with limitless fame be on top of all the sports here at it's pasted up - we look. whoever gets thing, then this is the job for you. copy before position of Scene/entertainment and prestige, their work being Laurier, and there's a nice little read it, find mistakes, fix 'em and editor can do whatever he/she viewed by the vast readership of monetary bonus with the job, but throw the stories at the produc- feels like doing. the publications. apart from all of this, Sports tion people. Basically what you gotta do is Editor is not for the faint hearted. Production Manager Copy editors do their stuff on figure out what you want to be You can expect to spend production day (night): Tuesdays. covered in your section, find about twenty hours a week as the Occasionally (very occasionally) people to do it, get them to the Sports editor: that includes staff Have you always wanted to stories will be in the computer on Business Editor sports beginning event maybe get some pictures meetings, production nights, see at the of the time, so that we can go through taken for it, and then make sure some sporting events, and the paper? Or perhaps you would like them in the afternoon. Then, later a a publication to see every page a different the story gets done. The you do About year ago time you spend at the Turret chat- that evening, when stories come campus known as colour. If production nifty edtior things to it like edit or cut sprung up on ting up a member of the opposite you were flying out of the Cord's was an all- you or add or rewrite or not even The Atrium, which sex, telling him or her that you manager, could do these laser printer, we check them competing things. You could do whatever - touch it at all. business newspaper, are the Sports Editor. (again). With any luck and if the

for advertising revenues with The wanted. You have that - hard-working Then you panic (quietly Let's face it. The title really you pizza is on time a demise, power. You the ads though, cuz everyone else is Cord. After The Atrium's does look good on a resum6 for decide where copy editor might be on his/her panicing too) cuz you realize you the people of The Cord decided summer jobs and you'll have lots go, on which page classifieds ap- way home by about midnight, one not be meeting don't have enough to fill all the that they might of stories to tell your kids, but pear and a zillion other things. o'clock. the reading needs of all Laurier Plus, you get three production as- extra pages the Editor has given you don't want all this do you? If students, and pushed forward sistants to boss around - it's great. you spell? Can you do the you cuz he/she thinks the enter- you do, come up to the Cord of- Can dedicated to production Do you know tainment section always has tons with a new section fices and fill out an application. The manager tries grammar-thing? A Business Editor to is two words? Can of stories and could fill 50 pages "business". Just, a note to the women, there coordinate the layout and that "a lot" of all of the Student Pub- a week. But you can't. So you was needed. has never been a female Sports paste-up the sections yo pocket $300 of not position to for the year? write some stuff yourself. This is an easy Editor working for the Cord. If newspaper, therefore, the ideal lications' money fill, although time be to get you too could enjoy the You don't have to be a writer it is the least you want to be the first, then get candidate should able Then of the editorial posi- along with all types of people honour and prestige of being a though. Being able to read would demanding up here and apply. tions. In my opinion this position fairly easily. It helps if you have a Cord copy editor. the cord I Thursday February 28, 1991 FEATURE 17 Be a Pubber

even power (sometimes)? As grad Production Assistant section editor, you are given ultimate rule over the design and You want my job, you know you layout of the largest section in the d0... What could be more keystone yearbook. Placing glamorous than spending your hundreds of smiling faces may Tuesday nights with line tape on sound like a challenge, but as a your sweater and wax on your creative and well organized indi- hands. Yes, you guessed it, I'm a vidual, you will design a section production assistant at The Cord. that not even the most lowly grad My job involves being a layout will be able to resist. lackey for the various editors at The Cord. Aesthetics, linear com- position, unusual juxtapostions, artistry-all of these exciting pur- suits could be incorporated into making The Cord the best look- Keystone Residence ing paper this side of anywhere. The job involves your Tuesday Editor nights and a Friday staff meeting in which you and your journalist coworkers can share your Want to re-live the residence thoughts and ideas on that wacky experience? If yes, then apply for world of newspaper production. the Keystone Residence Editor You can have an opportunity to position. You'll have free crea- make The Cord the kind of paper tive reign over this section. This you always thought it should be. is an excellent opportunity to And hey, don't worry what year create, design and organize an you are in, I came to work at The important section of the year- Cord in my last year at this fine position is one of fame and for- occassionally deal with the Keystone Production book. The position entails: direct institution (I hope). More impor- tune. As such, you would be public. Assistants are employed contact with the dons in tantly you should know about the responsible for assigning stories by the hour thus their hours are Manager residence, first year students and perks-pizza, cool tunes, fine to writers, training the writers at dictated by the time they have co-ordinating the efforts of other company and money, money, the same time as learning your- available each week. Keystone staff. In this position money!! (well, lets not get too The Production Manager insight into the work- self the fine art of News. Work- UT & T employment allows you'll gain get $300 works as the right hand out carried away, you total). ing together with the News individuals to get involved in ings of a yearbook, find more man\woman to the Keystone Editor, you get to hear all the hot University, affecting about Student Publications and their without Editor. HeNshe assists the editor gossip that ends up in the paper, their school work and ALL UT will enjoy many other fringe with creating and establishing position give News Editor court, or both. In addition, writing & T POSITIONS ARE benefits. This will deadlines and other administra- you a chance to meet the often in- stories and taking pictures at your P*A*l*D!!!!! tive aspects. He or she will work leisure is one of the perks of the sane Rubbers and make money at with the editor in deciding time. The time committ- To be the News Editor for a job. But perks continue, and in- the same specific content of the book, in- ten to fifteen major publication like The clude late, late night production, ment involves about Cord cluding the theme. A large part of involved is like being one with the univer- missed classes, lots of pizza, hours per week. Get in Advertising Manager the position is supervising the your students' publications! se. It is like nothing mere mortals comradeship, and last, but not production activities of section can even to least, coat hope be any other a place to put your heads and acting as a problem way. magic. when at class. So ya wanna be in sales? Then It is solver during production meet- Actually, welcome to the position of Ad- a lot of the time it's ings. This position offers a lot of like taking vertising Manager of Student your brain out, throw- challenges but is also a great op- Keystone Sales and ing Publications. The job itself can be it up in the air and trying to portunity for fun, school involve- hit it with a very trying at times -but still quite Ad Manager baseball bat on the ment, and creativity. Yearbook way back rewarding. First of all, you will down. The result: experience of some kind would you've expanded your be responsible for all advertising Are you ready to meet one of awareness, UT&T Assistants be an asset, as would a great per- your that goes into the WLUer, Blotter life's greatest challenges? Are increased mental capacities, sonality ability to and Telephone Directory during and the work you interested in a career in and given yourself a whalloping with other people. headache. the summer. This means that your marketing? This is the job for summer job be up here at you! The Sales and Ad Manager But it's an experience which UT & T, a student run service, will Student where of the Keystone directs his or her puts you in a position to test your offers numerous benefits to the Publications you on energy planning mettle. It taxes your cognitive, university student. First and will receive commission creative into and whatever you sell. Sound implementing marketing creative, and coital abilities. OK, foremost as the manager of UT busy? In reality, the summer is pretty strategies to promote, and ob- so maybe not the last one. All &T you can create your own laid back and 9 to 5 restrictions Sports Editor- viously, sell yearbooks. During right, dammit, definitely not the schedule to suit you individual not apply. September, your ten to hours of last one. At least, it's not in the needs. You will be assisting do Come Keystone fifteen valu- you a week, job description. What you do in students, faculty and the general will be Ad Manager for The able effort you will also Cord and thus be responsible for co-ordinate sales weeks. Don't your spare time is your business, public with the design and layout all that goes into the "...30 seconds left in this final miss out on this great although at the Cord everyone of various items. These items advertising op- Cord as well as period, ladies and gentlemen...he portunity. This position look knows anyway. include the design and layout of responsible for will hiring and managing shoots, scores. Laurier great on your What you do have to pull off such things as r6sum6s, cover a sales staff he The resume! just captured every week is find, assign, and letters, posters, flyers, and production crew. An Ad Golden Hawks have Manager can spend Canadian championship!" Al- edit stories, as well as put them newsletters, business cards, anywhere the from to though working for the Keystone together on the pages in such a letterhead, transparencies and 20 35 hours a week (count TSN, exciting! Keystone Editor way as to not make them look as much more! Many skills are on putting in at least 35 is not it is just as bad as you do by the time you obtained through the weekly hours for your first several As a member of our hard- weeks) while still juggling a full working staff, you will be Now, this is definitely a posi- finish completing all of the & T, operations of UT such as tion of extreme responsibility, not above. But you have an associate time student life in school! responsible for designing and budgeting, payroll, weekly to mention power! As Keystone editor to help out. deposits, Sounds like fun? At times it isn't. producing the sports section. Dur- pricing, purchasing and Editor, you will organize and su- Don't worry if you've never requisitioning. The pay isn't great but the people ing your ten to fifteen hours a As an added pervise the overall production and written a news story. You'll bonus you get to work with a you meet up here are super and week, you will select photos, you can receive a vast amount finances of the yearbook. This learn. great bunch of people, not only of write and edit sports stories. So, if experience from the job itself. you publication provides a valuable My point is, do the job. You'll the UT & T assistants but the desire adventure and valuable Other benefits a service to students. If you are never regret it. Student Publication staff too. include snazzy experience, why not join us! office, a parking space, and your energetic, dedicated (approxi- UT & T Assistants are a great own mately fifteen to twenty hours a opportunity for anyone who business cards to impress week), and an excellent commu- wants to get involved but does family and friends. Oooh! Aaah! Associate News If you're interested in advertising nicator, you are the person for not want to commit quite as much this job. Previous yearbook and Editor time as a management position and not afraid to deal with Keystone Graduate job you! management experience are as- requires. & people, then this is for UT T Assistants Section Editor sets to this position. design and layout the above Apply. damn it! The Associate News Editor's mentioned items and (Closes March 7,1991) Do you crave responsibility... (Closes March 7,1991) ~

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THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY [28] 1] r3i nil 5] 6

WLU Entrepreneur's Clob presents Jim Hayhurst: | Motivation and Career Plan- ning. "Perspectives on War" lecture - i - KWEST, WLU Archaeology Society series with Richard Crossman Atari user group Paul Martin Centre at 7:00 pm in ML presents "Searching for the lost University Chapel Worship Ser- JUST WAR. meeting . floor of the Math & Medieval Cities of the Sudan" vice at the Keffer Memorial 12:00- 1:30pm. 3rd Wilf's. Amnesty International General Phone 579-36V3 with Julie Anderson (U of T) The RantaUions play Chapel, Waterloo Lutheran French Club Bowling meet In puter Building. Cord staff meeting 2:30 pm. Meeting. 5:30 pm. Room TB A. welcome. openlecture. PI 027 8:00 pm. 9:00 pm. $2 cheap. Seminary 11:00 am. Concourse 7 pm. for details. Visitors Thursday February 28, 1991 19 SCENE Ballet fuses old and new by Roxanne Chartrand piece, combined classical and man mobile to explore the move- Finally, highlight of the whole the "right" time to meet at the folklore movement to reflect the ment of balance and counter- programme was 'Come Rain, boxing ring. In this presentation, Why does traditional ballet rhythms of 'Carlos Chavez' bril- balance. They used each other as Come Shine'. This Broadway the audience is dazzled with have such a grip on people? Why liant Mexican symphony. This platforms to demonstrate their dance adaptation starred the high- bright spotlights, jazzy music, can they not realize that, like all performance told the story of the flexibility and mastery. Not once ly respected and admired Frank glittering costumes, and very other things in life, this aspect of relationship between two young did they falter in this fascinating Augustyn, who is also the Artistic professional dancing. The dance culture must change to accom- people in love. Two dancers at- piece of dance work. Director of the Ottawa Ballet. movements were performed to modate the changing tastes of the tempted to project the story while As well, 'The Front' present- This ballet features music by Liza the utmost perfection and the people? This is what most ballet executing the traditional jettes, ed a group of dancers performing Minelli and is dedicated to the audience had no problem follow- companies are trying to promote grand jettes, leaps, arabesques, interesting modern movements to artistry of her mother, Judy Gar- ing the story of the young in their new repertories of dance and pirouettes to exhilarating music of complex yet striking land. couples. presentations. New bold dance music. They wore costumes of sounds. In this dance, the four Here the Director uses the movements are replacing tradi- white with colourful designs to male dancers wore masks and ap- boxing ring as a metaphor for the The whole programme pre- tional ones. Some presentations represent the colourful Mexican peared to be the alter ego of the challenges of living and loving sented by the Ottawa Ballet was are combining the two streams of society. However, they appeared four women dancers. Each move- and uses three couples to il- definitely interesting. Even dance, thus putting together a to be mismatched partners and ment of the male dancers was lustrate a wide range of con- though some of the pieces were complemented by an opposite temporary relationships. Two ar- performed with less than ade- movement of the women dancers. dent lovers, two people bound to- quate coordination on the part of By the end of the performance, gether by mutual dependence, the dancers the complete per- the female dancers had ripped the and two strong individuals (one formance was on the whole very masks off their respective part- of them danced by Augustyn enjoyable. Thumbs up to the Ot- ners thus revealing their true himself) who can't seem to find tawa Ballet.

identity to the audience - two hu- mans trying to struggle through the crises in life. 'Sleep Study', also a modern piece, takes the modern influence of dance one step further into the realm of reality. Here the dancers are dressed in their pajamas and roll around on the ground show- ing the audience the absurdity mechanical rigidity imposed on the natural flexibility of the hu- man body in sleep. The dancers began by repeat- programme that attracts all types the story was lost in their struggle ing a series of movements on the of people. to maintain unity throughout their floor of the stage and as the The Ottawa Ballet is one of presentation. music sped up their movements the smaller ballet companies that On the other hand the three became quicker. As the dance has fused the traditional and the modern pieces were refreshing to progressed, their repetitious modern areas of dance. In their watch. The dancers meshed to- movements moved to standing performance at the Humanities gether on stage and presented un- positions and became even more Theatre at the University of believable physical strength and rapid By the end of the dance, all Waterloo on February 9, the com- control. In 'Mobile', an abstract the performers fell to the ground pany presented one traditional ballet for three dancers to the exhausted finally finding peace in piece, three modern pieces and Adagio from Aram sleep without rigidity. This per- one Broadway type piece. Khachaturian's 'Gayne' ballet, formance was certainly the most Cockburn surprises 'Canto Indio', the traditional the dancers formed part of a hu- comic of them all. by Jeff Heywood

I'd rather order another rye and ginger but I can't because Serge, our flight attendant, and Captain Spalding are stressed over a wee bit of turbulence. So basically I'm flying at 35000 feet, without a drink, worrying about the bends, anticipating some hot 'n' hearty airline

Iranian wisdom film - food, and writing about Mr. Metaphor himself Bruce Cockburn. by Jennifer Epps about their desired outcomes, including medics What a way to end a week. diligently monitoring his blood and injecting him Bruce Cockburn's two man show stopped by the Humanities The weight of centuries presses on the charac- with contrary solutions. We're meant to notice the Theatre on Wednesday the 13th for what I thought was going to be an ters in The Cyclist, an award-winning Iranian film irony of all this frivolous devotion taking place awful concert. Mr. Cockburn did not even rank on my list of favourite playing this weekend at the Princess. When the while Nasim's wife lies unattended in hospital. musicians. I came to the show expecting to be disturbed by movie's hero dreams about digging a well, the im- Nasim's faithful son cannot help being naively ex- stereotypical Guatemalan clad people with nice hats. The type of age recalls the primordial terror of Aladdin trapped cited by the drama of the event, meanwhile a friend, people who grate on you with theirrampant idealism. Basically, I was motorcylist, huge in the pit. The townsfolk have the clarity of purpose a daredevil makes a sacrifice for expecting the type of people that make me think of Bruce "If a Tree of people in The Bible. Although the trappings of Nasim that goes completely unnoticed by anyone Falls in the Forest" Cockburn. I expected posturing, and lecturing, the story include motorcycles, T.V. cameras, and but us. and a raging bad mood. But, like I said, this is what I thought before advanced pharmacology, the action is generally free The promoter announces by megaphone that the show. of the sheen of capitalist success; the characters, Nasim is "a Typhoon," and nothing could be further sleeping outside, fighting to make a buck, are laid from the truth. Moharram Zaynalzadeh plays this bare. worried, grey-haired husband as if he were numbed Mohsen Makhmalbaf wrote, directed, edited, by spiritual pain; he is continually staring in and designed this vision of cruelty and apathy, his anguished disbelief at the unpleasant, aggressive attitudes having been shaped by five years as a world around him. political prisoner under the Shah. The title character Alireza Zaarindast's supple, inventive camera- of The Cyclist is Nasim, a refugee from work captures beggars who pretend to commit Bruce Cockburn let me down. I had to throw out the scathing Afghanistan desperate to earn money to save his suicide by lying under trucks, sporting horsemen review I wrote the day before the show and start over. There was no wife from a mysterious disease. After trying vari- who struggle to pull apart an animal's carcass, and lecturing, no posturing, no bad mood (there were some swell hats, ous avenues, Nasim finally agrees to bicycle non- a panoply of characters familiar to our own culture, though). stop for 7 days. from gangsters to an evangelist's flock, from a The stage held only two people all night: Bruce Cockburn, in Soon a crowd buys tickets to watch Nasim's im- sham palm-reader to the heartless spectators. boots big enough to stomp puppies, and the misleadingly subdued possible stunt. Two camps lay odds for and against Continued on Page 22 him and send out an army of hired hands to bring Continued on Page 20 the cord 20 SCENE Thursday February 28, J99 j Bruce's puppy stompin' boots Continued from Page 19 shows by spoiled burnouts who Jonathan Goldsmith as pianist the Grateful Dead. It was grand I went to this show only see dollar signs in music, obviously expecting Jonathan Goldsmith on piano. it's was a well thought out piano at full bore. The type of to finally be able to tear a strip a bit shocking to see someone ac- decision. Goldsmith, unassuming off Though the stage was almost playing that throws a bag over of a musician that has been tually play a song and mean it. night, took vacant, the music filled the but solid all the your head, grabs you by the tormenting me for far too many theatre, the pressure pushed the Cockburn's music was much audience for a spin during the lungs, takes you for a ride and years. And now that I finally more interesting and listenable final of set. have walls back a full foot and cracked song the second He leaves you breathless at the end my chance, I can only say it was the ceiling. At the centre of this without the washed out clutter of took off on a moody solo that was one hell of a good show. not a space of the trip. What a surging music was Bruce Cock- his band. Stripped to the bare unlike session with bummer. burn, swaying with eyes closed to bones, guitar and piano, his music songs like "Child of the Wind" became more powerful and the then shifting to a puppy-stomp lyrics became much clearer. shuffle step for his more rollick- Cockburn's solo powered guitar Wile hungry ing tunes (yes-Bruce Cockburn connected with each listener E.'sTHOUGHT and, hence, by A.D. 2. PATTERNS they get hungry. actually has some rollicking directly. The two man band trans- It is Wile E. continually also true that these tunes). formed overproduced and hazy Does Wile E. want to eat the thinks of devil worship- the Roadrunner as a full course pers throw up the majority Part of what made this show songs like "Lovers in a Roadrunner to satisfy his physi- 0f dinner or a large food they consume. There so mindset altering was the in- Dangerous Time" and "Waiting cal needs or does he want to entree and this is little suggests that the coyote is evidence suggesting that tensity of Cockburn. He was not for a Miracle" into powerful and slaughter the Roadrunner in or- actual- Wile E. ly hungry. In yaks his guts out, merely playing his music, he was clear pieces of music. der to satisfy his mental perver- fact we have seen but this is due the coyote chew to the fact that Bugs performing it. After a bevy of Bruce Cockburn's choice of sions? on tin cans, clay Bunny is Roadrunners, flies and earthquake censored and many of 1. HUNTING these METHODS pills in order to curb his appetite scenes have been edited for Dynamite the is an efficient while he awaits the RR meal. protection of the young. Roadrunner hunting weapon and 3. EATING HABITS OF The above information yet it is inefficient at preserving clearly THE ANTI-CHRISTS indicates that Wile E. Coyote is Roadrunner meat; Wile E. would Popular Antichrists such as definitely hungry. lucky to gather be up a few Damian and Linda Blair frequent- NEXT WEEK: Does remaining feathers after feeding Wile E. ly reside in the body of an animal have suicidal tendencies? the bird a dynamite sandwich. Other hunting equipment include: A) skateboards B) ACME Batman suits C) self-built dragsters D) heavy boulders E) anvils F) ACME jet shoes G) ACME earthquake pills These items provide a more humane method of killing the Roadrunner and preserving his meat for dinner. I believe the coyote only uses T.N.T. in times Of course this IS Bruce Cockburn don'tcha of complete frustration; Wile E. know would rather obliterate the RR than face defeat.

: #3W THE HIGHLANDS

; Riff Raff ' Tribute to AC/DC SA I L RIMY BALLROOM BLITZ

David Wilcox <§£

Haywire

Kris Kristofferson

IffliikUjSll No. It's a disc - not unlike those found at Disc; earth base for just Dr. Lee Aaron thousands of new and used records, cassettes and CDs. It's time then to visit the Doctor, located at 146King St. W. in the heart of downtown Kitchener (see photo). We're open from 10am to 10pm Monday thru Saturday and now from 2pm to 9pm on Sunday, (our phone #is 743-831 5) Records ° I on Wheels in Guelph only, Cambridge Music Mart, Tape Now pen: I Worm, Cambridge, Forwell's Super Variety, ipfew? ■ Waterloo, and The Highlands. Sundays 12 noon to 7pm 622-0002 TUNES THAT ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD I Info Line the cord Thursday February 28, 1991 SCENE 21 Replacements still all shook down by David Setka put out to a packed house at the fact that Slim Dunlap has re- Masonic Temple. placed Bob Stinson on lead guitar Although recent Replace- Considering that they have and Paul Westerberg was show- ments albums (Don't Tell a Soul, been together for 12 or 13 years ing his age. He looked like he had All Shook Down) haven't had and are pushing into their mid to smoked too many butts and drank that rough, raw and greasy edge late thirties, I was surprised to see his quota of Budweiser in his that was so characteristic of their that they possessed the same time. albums, this style they earlier was enthusiasm had when I saw Probably the biggest dis- most evident when the band them in '84. In fact, thanks to appointment that they didn't played The Concert Hall on Sun- detox, there was a lot less stum- was play too much of their older day, February 17th. Similar to the bling around the stage and gener- material, although they play opening act, The Goo Goo Dolls, al vocal coherency. During that did a few tracks from Tim (1985) and both bands thrive on the energy time they were part of an emerg- their encore consisted of three that exists in their music and fully ing scene coming out of Min- songs from Pleased to Meet Me utilize a range of guitar riffs to neapolis, Minnesota along with ('B7). But who can blame them maximize their performance. Hiisker Dii and Soul Asylum and when you consider the obscene Perhaps the fact that the band were playing the small club cir- number of gigs they have played refined the sound of their pre- cuit. during their existence; I imagine vious two albums as they lack the Some time later, established that they have been over-exposed alcohol soaked harmonies that and wiser, it was to hard dis- to the older stuff. early albums had. tinguish from the Relacement the old band Like bass player Tommy Nevertheless, these guys really new except for the drying out, the Stinson said during the show when the crowd was calling for songs from the Hootenany album: Music Notes "We're tired of anything before Paul Westerberg in the yester-years of booze by Chris Skalkos '83." and craziness. The opening act, The Goo The majority of their songs "Never Take the Place of Your Goo Dolls from Buffalo, NY. were from the recently released Man" to close the set. Frankly, Nancy Sinatra was presented with a gold disc to mark over a 1966** were entertaining in their own Hold Me Up album which has en- The Goo Goo Dolls are probably Walking" in million U.S. sales of "These Boots Are Made For a way. They played the entire gig joyed marginal commercial suc- the best thing to come out of the ceremony at Hollywood's Boss Club. sporting only pyjamas and cess. For their encore, they dismal city of Buffalo. 1976**An inflatable pig being photographed over a factory for the barefeet, while the bass player, brought out a fellow Buffalonian, cover of Pink Floyd's "Animals" broke loose and floated into the known only to the civilized world Incredible Lance Diamond, a In an overall assessment, I London Airport flight path. as Robby, jumped around the Barry White-type who wore a would have to say that I enjoyed stage like a chihuahua on tuxedo with cheesy white loafers the show immensely. The Con- Country singer Randy album was No. 1 on 1986** Travis' first amphetamines and shared the vo- and a fedora to match. cert Hall provided a cosy setting Billboard's country album charts for four consecutive weeks and has cal duties with guitarist Johnny. He proceeded to distribute for the show and the audience even penetrated the rock charts. This provided a diversified mix- long stem roses to anyone within went away sweaty and satisfied. STAR QUOTE ture as Robby belted out anything close proximity of the stage. It was good to see in a day of that needed to be emphasized and Diamond serenaded the audience multimedia big ticket concerts, an "Every man I've ever screwed has thrown up on me at least once." Johnny sang the more with Otis Reddings's "Sitting On entertaining minimalist show for Poetic Punk vocalist Patti Smith commenting on the sexual revolu- harmonious tunes. A Dock Of A Bay" and Prince's a reasonable price. tion. Student Publications

is now accepting applications Cord News Editor the following positions: Cord Associate News Editor Keystone Editor-in-Chief Cord Sports Editor APPLY APPLY UT&T Manager Cord Entertainment Editor Systems Technician Cord Features Editor Treasurer Cord Business Editor APPLY APPLY Photo Manager Cord Production Manager Advertising Manager

Key stone Production Manager deadline for applications forthese positions 1991, Keystone Special Events Editor IS MARCH 4' Keystone Grad Editor jf y OU have any questions about the positions, just call Keystone Sales and Ad Manager 884 299# an(J ask for Keystone Residence Editor Advertising Representative (4 Positions) UT&T Assistant (4 Positions) pick UP applications in the Cord office Photo Technician (2 Positions) Second Floor Student Union Building Graphic Artist Behind the Games Room FOR APPLICATIONS FOR THESE POSITIONS DEADLINE „ ™ s ,„ns o, fun to rk aP „ere. ,ea,iy ,u, . IS MARCH 14,1991 the cord 22 SCENE Thursday February 28, 199j Valuable portrait JelloBiafra: Continued from Page 19 man spirit. Makhmalbaf has no morbidity, and he Makhmalbaf's structure allows for brief glances of treats the most roguish characters with the kind of a microcosm of society, and we can see how each magnaminity Mark Twain showed the con men in member is connected with every other; actions tend The Adventures of Huckleberry a angry young Finn. There's man to have domino effects. duality at work here, both in the human character This movie is & full of ache, but it's not in- and in the way it is presented. It's ugly-beautiful. Jello Biafra D.O.A. police-state corruption. You name supportable. Majid Entezami's score is ravishing, It goes without saying that this detailed portrait Last Scream of the Missing it, he targets it. No one escapes Makhmalbaf's own set design fills the backgrounds of a culture is a hundred times more valuable than Neighbors Biafra's fury. It is definitely with a great a deal of colour and light, the vehicles the xenophobic treatment given Iran by the Amer- and candidate for replacing the "Star are covered in striking patterns, and even the ican production Not Without My Daughter. At the Jello Biafra Spangled Banner". poorest characters try to clothe themselves in proud same time, Makhmalbaf has tapped The Cyclist Die For Oil, Sucker hues; the cumulative effect is a testament to the hu- into a rich resource; a heritage of wisdom. 7" cassette single Alternative Tentacles Biafra's no A must buy for all. In just one bullshit short year, Jello Biafra has estab- lished himself as the most politi- lyrics cally active, outspoken and in- sightful musician currently work- ing in the "entertainment" indus- The new single, "Die For Oil, try. Both releases crystallize and Sucker" is a spoken word piece focus everything his previous which illuminates and enrages. Housed in band, the Dead Kennedys, at- a brutally effective poster/photo-collage tempted at their most successful sleeve, this level. Last Scream, released last record sums up all too well the year, was a fantastically powerful motives that lie behind the work containing Biafra's no- "liberation" of Kuwait: oil, bullshit lyrics and the best musi- money, greed, greed, more greed cal work D.O.A has ever done. and death. In Biafra's terms, are The highlight of the album you going to sacrifice your car or was the side song piece, "Full your life? Simple, isn't it? Metal Jackoff," which laid bare Biafra proves without a doubt for all to see everything the that he is not afraid to call it as Reagan (and now Bush) adminis- everybody should see it. Fear, tration did (and continues to do) apathy, propaganda, he proves, to oppress, deceive and destroy affect us all. Buy both of these the culture, economy and possib- releases. Allow them to really ly future of the United States (and piss you off and then maybe do the World?). In this cut, Biafra something about it! raises issues from the so-called Kathy war on drugs to racism and O'Grady

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CORNER OF KING & UNIVERSITY NEXT TO PIZZA PIZZA : 'Xvs ! the cord i Thursday February 28, 1991 SCENE 23 Play based on satirical cartoons by Charlotte Gravlev marriage, the family, social con- ventions and values. BOSS: Dolly, I (Woman rushes to The set design, a series of Boss and clings desperate- constantly slamming windows ly)...Please let go, Dolly. You've and doors, was an effective got to let go sometime! Love is vehicle for the dozens of frenzied more than a mere possession. characters -to bombard the Love is giving rather than talcing. audience with fragmented at- (Her arms go around his neck, tempts at communication. and she begins to bend him for- All seven actors gave ward.) Freeing rather than ens- dynamic performances. Particu-

laving. Love is - oomph - please larly entertaining, however, were loosen your grip, Dolly. If you're the appearances of Chris Reid BOSS: Why yes. (She crosses away from him.) Dolly: That doesn't sound so bad. BOSS: Hold me! (Clings to her)

To help the university com- munity through those last few anxious days before the break, the UW Drama Department had alienation, an' there'll be drop- her intermittent alightings as the "Hold Me" A Satirical Revue by outs, an' there'll be violence. dancer, gave the sketches a neces- Jules Feiffer, to offer. THAT'S what we're fightin' for, sary thematic cohesiveness. Directed by Joel Greenburg, a Tessie - a heritage. Spencer will also be direct- faculty member of the Drama De- ing the upcoming UW Drama De- afraid to let go it means you don't partment, the majority of the cast who was able to say as much partment production of trust me, if you don't trust me it and crew requirements were per- through his mannerisms as The consistently powerful "Tartuffe", to run March 19-23 at means you think I'll leave you, formed by students, allowing for dialogue. The following sketch presence of Darlene Spencer in The Theatre of the Arts. (She pushes her head under his experience on both sides of the was one of his most memorable: arm.) and if you think I'll leave curtain. you it means you don't have any Greenberg created the format (Ben lies dying in Tessie's respect for yourself then in time for the play converting over one arms) you'llforce me to lose respect for hundred of Feiffer's comics into TESSIE: Why must it go on, Ben? you. If I lose respect for you I'll short skits. The play is an existen- All thisfightin', all this violence? want to leave you - (She puts her tial, satirical study of twentieth BEN: Someday there'll be a town head under his sweater.) Argh- century angst. Imagine an episode here, Tessie, an' there'll be a But with a looser hold - you free of Laugh-in, written by Bechett, church, an' there'll be a school,

- to go your way, Ifree to go mine and directed by Woody Allen. It an' there'll be law - an' there'll we'll be so much happier. Try to examines alienation, insecurity, be horseless carriages, an' see it my way, Dolly. futility, loss of identity, and the there'll be factories, an' there'll

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FASHION WEAR __ WATERLOO g 5 = " P Z Z A » H U T Bi T 121211 1— King Value Centre, 743-8895 jj| US !; HOHTHFIEIO ORIVt KITCHENER-555 FAIRWAY S WATERLOO-585 COLBY DR. the cord 24 SCENE Thursday February 2S, 199.] GulfWar collector cards eerie by Kathy O'Grady

Nosing around one of my favourite stores the other day, Looking For Heroes, a comic book store in downtown Kitchener, I noticed a new series of collector cards displayed with the usual hockey and baseball cards. The package advertised cards depicting scenes of "Op- eration Desert Storm, the coalition for peace". That's right. Just in case you thought the media wasn't selling the war as the latest and greatest superbowl/mini-series/game-show ever, the card industry is now making the best attempt so far to "Hollywood-ize" the tragedies in the Middle East. Whether you wear a yellow, white or black ribbon to signify your stance on today's political turmoil, I guarantee you will be disturbed at the glossy war cards--now available to children of all ages. I laughed eerily at the thought of kids bantering back and forth in the school yard, "got it, got it, need it, got it" trading war cards we like these cards did baseball cards at my public school. All collector/trader are num- bered. Ole Richard (Dick) Cheney here is The cards were created by TOPPS Company, Inc. (yes the same No. 3 while older George Bush is...yup, No. company that makes your hockey and baseball cards), featuring such 1. This American flag isn't a card, but a scenes as tanks "taking a stronghold", anti-aircraft chemical gear, F- nifty closely -18's and other (almost entirely American) planes and tanks with such sticker. Look at the small slogans as "mission accomplished". print around the edges. It says, and I quote,: "Peel carefully. Display proudly", And they didn't forget those all important Schwarzkopf and Bush 'nuff said. "rookie" cards which, like all first series rookie-cum-hero cards, will probably be collectible and worth tons of cash one day. One of the most disturbing cards depicts a lone tank in the desert at sunrise with the slogan "dawn in the desert"; it looks almost godly. Another card, depicting air-borne fighter planes, this time with a sunset in the background,, is accompanied with the slogan "A quiet moment". On the back of the cards are brief descriptions of the range and accuracy of specific warheads and comments about the U.S.-Iraqi situation in general. In each package of cards you also receive various stickers-no gum though. One sticker is of the American flag with the caption reading "display proudly". If you save enough cards and have the entire series, you can piece together a puzzle located on the back of the stickers. The puzzle is not what you would expect after reviewing the cards: a picture of the U.S. conquering Iraq, but rather, it is a celestial picture of a U.S. fighter plane flying over the entire world. I guess it's good to set your goals high. TOP 10 I RENTED MOVIES

For the week of Feb. 28 - Mar. 7 1) Darkman 2) Flatliners 3) Air America 4) Quick Change 5) The Two Jakes 6) State of Grace 7) Death Warrant 8) I Come In Peace 9) The Maid pHURsS^FEBRUAR^B| 10) Cinema Paradiso Ijgjrl

[ ADMISSION 51.02 \

PLUS MUCH MORE FROM. I : the cord, : Thursday February 28, 1991 SCENE 25 Metal mixture misses mark chine gun guitar and "politically -I*ll be chanting along. fortunately is followed by a very ceptional and the musicianship is correct" lyrics; sort of Thrash-for- "Little Look Back" is a love forgettable song called "Get very good but unless they replace Peace. However, a problem soon song with better lyrics than other Down" which is too preachy and the vocalist, I won't be around to arises: the vocals. Sneery, whin- hard rock songs of the same gloomy. The final cut, "Gimme listen to "III" should it appear in a ing and aggravating, all delivered theme (the chorus only has the Back the Paradise" is an upbeat, record store near me. in a high pitched tone that adds word 'baby' once!). "Face to 'life-on-the-road' song. nothing to the song musically. Face" is a quality song, which un- Overall, Axxis' lyrics are ex- Ed Rusk Next song "Save Me" has some fairly weird keyboards at the beginning which gave way to by: screeching guitar and some F.B.I. Agent serious drum bashing, all with a Styx-ish chorus. PEAKSBEAT MARTIN WALKER Metal Variations Moving on, we come to The Enigma Metal and Hard "Touch the Rainbow"; a sort of I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. Since all F.8.1. Agents are morbid pessimists, I'll Rock Collection groovy, melodic song that con- start with the bad news. Well folks, I don't know how to put this to ya, but Twin Peaks is sorta on the Enigma tains some poetic lyrics along ABC network chopping block! (Gasp!) Although the show has not been officially canceled, the head- with Led Zeppelin allusions: honchoes have determined to move it from its regular time slot. This ain't good. Usually when a show is Enigma's latest attempt at col- "Colours of endless beau- moved from its regular spot, it's a signal that the death of the show is imminent. You'll notice at the bot- lecting good music is a loud un- ty/Painting the deep Blue tom of this article, a petition slip. Here's where you come in: Simply cut out the petition and sign your derskilled musical package that Sky/Stairway to Heaven/Where name. Then drop off the slip at The CORD office. I'll then mail them to ABC Network myself. Re- sinks under its own cockiness and only eagles fly". "Rollin' member: if it workedfor Beauty and the Beast, it can work for Twin Peaks. Help save this show! I need confusion. If "Metal Variations" Thunder" is an interesting your help on this one - I'm serious this time! My sanity is at stake. Please do this soon. Please. had been what it says it is-metal musician's point-of-view of As for the good news, both Killer Bob and The Dancing Midget are back. Oh joy, oh bliss!!! It seems and hard rock-it might have suc- going to perform on-stage with that Josie Packard plugged ex-boyfriend Thomas Eckardt just before Cooper and Truman came into his ceeded. 1f... the lyrics describing the anxiety hotel room. The rest is a bit confusing. Josie had a heart attack or something after doing this and died To begin the tape, Christian and excitement of the artist in right there in front of Cooper and lover-boy Truman. Then Bob, everybody's favourite psychopathic kil- rockers Stryper struts around its vivid detail. ler, appeared to Cooper and screamed, "What happened to Josie, Coop?" He then disappeared and our version of Heavenly Metal with cute little dancin' midget appeared and started boogying on the bed! Oh, what a beloved sight that was. one of the only true metal tunes The show ended with a disturbing shot of Josie's face screaming as it melded in with a wooden dresser in the collection. A small stroke handle (?). Weird, huh? 50...t0 pay tribute to Mr. Midget, he receives the distinguished Square of Honor of productive genius here: start in the Peaks Beat banner. (Insert applause here) with the good stuff, then let it In other happenings: slide. 1) Super-Mauler Nadine is up to her old shenanigans. She broke off with Big Ed to spend her time with The second song should have heart-throb Mike. Aaaah. Isn't that sweet? been crucial, should have let the 2) Hank's going to jail. Enough said - he's a LOSER! listener want to go on. But I 3) That insipid boring plot with James Hurley vs. Evelyn vs. Donna vs. the police is finally over with found myself tuning out through James leaving Twin Peaks. Gee Jimmy, I really feel bad for ya! GEEK! incomprehensible lyrics and a bad 4) Did you know that The Grand Total Death Count has reached the magical number of fifteen victims?! title, G.O.D. C.O.D. I guess the With the deaths of Josie Packard and Thomas Eckardt, our goal was achieved. In fact, the death count band Avesion thinks God is a should be sixteen since I never included the death of Josie's assistant, the murdered Mr. Lee. Wow! And fish. there's still 5 more episodes to go. The tape is well produced but 5) Dastardly Wyndom Earle continues his treacherous game of chess. over-played. These musicians are But until next week, drop off a Petition Plea to the Cord offices and have a cup of Java to calm your

HVi T Vk». A X TT understandably so emotionally nerves. I know I will.111, distraught that they can't play, sing or ever have respect again. And I couldn't get over the feel- "Hold On" is a 'your love ! ing Hurricane, Gosh, I really like TWIN PEAKS...! that bands like saved me' song that sparks a little Hellion, Jailhouse Dog and Wild but never ignites. "Ships are Sail- ...and am quite distressed to learn that this here cool show can possibly be were saying "Listen to us, we're ing" (not be to confused with - cancelled 'cause it got a crumby time slot. Like, who really is around to in a metal band." To be honest, "Sailing Ships" by another much they're So it a week night! not. more successful hard rock band) watch it on Saturdays at 10pm? why not move to, oh say, ■ But artists like Chris Poland is about the tearing down of the Wouldn't that be neat-o! Seriously though, please don't cancel our show! and Acid Head provide concrete Wall (Berlin's not Rodger and interesting stuff. Poland Waters'). The chorus is designed Sincerely: The TWIN PEAKS Fan Club atWLU doesn't sing, which is a nice as a stadium sing-along, but since change from the constant moan- I really hate the vocalist, I doubt ing, wailing and screaming throughout the tape. And Acid Head sounds like something Phil's might play. There's not a lot of talent here and I guess Enigma is too apathetic to tell people this is more a thrash album than metal. I like thrash, but not on a metal tape. Too bad. Colin Buehler You could qualify if you are a full Axxis I time student, 15 or over and II If 11 Capitol returning to full time studies in The promo pack for the band Tfltpfpct-Pfpp AQti the fall. l T calls the band "special", making Y Student Venture is sponsored "definitive" hard rock. In 1989 by the Ontario Ministry of they opened for Black Sabbath on A ■HBI to Start Your Own the European leg of lomi and ■ Cirmmor UiicinACC Industry, Urade and Technology gang's tour, shortly after the DU.IIIIIICI -DllolliCoo in co-operation with the Royal release of 11. The band hails from Canada, Ontario the Dortmund area of Germany, a Bank of the region stated as being the "indus- w Chamber of Commerce and local a ck iiq hnw trial heartland" of the country. So Abiv US lIOW. Chambers of Commerce and what makes Bernhard Weiss (vo- cals), Walter Pietsch (guitar), Call the Youth Hotline FREE Boards of Trade. Werner Kleinhaus (bass), Richard Michalski (drums) and Harry 1-800-387-077Z 3U Ministry Oellers (keyboards) so "special" and "definitive" ? r ¥ VvJ Trade and Well, a few things. The open- Ontario ing track, "The World is Looking 1 A Technology in Their Eyes" is heavy, with ma- the cord 26 SCENE Thursday February 28, 1991 Morrissey revisited but disliked Morrissey virtues of lobotomy and against was in a car on its way to a bar lured artist costume, that girl Lotta Rock '11' Roll)" by Muscovi Bona Drag the proponents of free will. I with five acquaintances from my piped up: "Oh, I just love Morris- Duck? It's like Dr. Johnny Fever Sire Records mean, come on! How could any- high school days, and we were sey." says on WKRP: "If it isn't that one actually like listening to a talking music, and I asked: "Has You must be stupid to like old style rock 'n' roll, babies, I This album was reviewed a guy who puts the 'dio' in idiot anybody here ever heard of the Morrissey. I hate this guy. His don't play it." few months ago but who cares... Before this year I had never Morrissey idiot?" And the girl I mannerisms, let alone his exis- Neither do I. Neither should If this album were 24 hours encountered Morrissey, never absolutely loathed the most in tence, offend me. He stands for you. long...it would be the worst day heard any of his songs, and had high school, the girl who snagged everything that I am against: Why couldn't Chapman have ever. Let's get right down to busi- never even read of him in Rolling $3000+ in scholarships (while I when it comes to music, I am the killed Morrissey instead of John ness: the fact that there's an Stone or any other music maga- got nothing) because her mother north pole and he is the one at the Lennon? Why couldn't Hinkley audience out there for the type of zine: it was like the guy never ex- was a teacher, and who used to bottom of the world. have shot Morrissey instead of stupidity Morrissey sells makes a isted; I was blissfully unaware. wear T-shirts sloganeering "Meat What kind of goof sings songs Reagan, for that matter? pretty good argument for the And then at Christmas break I is Murder" etc. as part of her tor- like "He Knows I'd Love To See So all in all, I'm not going to Him", "Lucky Lisp" and "Hair- recommend that you buy this al- dresser on Fire"? Whatever hap- bum, but if you still want to, go pened to quality-"lt's Only Rock ahead, but please don't vote in 'n' Roll (But I Like It)" by the the next election: God help us all. & Rolling Stones or even "Just A Coming (But A Terry Grogan Wp Little Bit Pregnant Whole I The man on the wall didn't know albinos could be red) is/are at the ) C Is his symbol offreedom Bombshelter on Friday night. They or he or she or \ / It means he has brothers it or its is from Newfoundland. / \ Who believe as he does Th wam tQ wam them heap jrick at the ) Vega ( Suzanne Opera House in T.O. on March 2. \ / First off, the Animation Celebration has its last -ph e w jid things themselves are on the reheated left- 112 ) ) night at the Princess tonight (Thursday). over C ircuit-The Troggs come to LULU's on the 1 Ooooooo! Here's a good one. If you're in Hamilton Ist and 2nd. \ / tonight go to Aztex and catch Bootsauce. If you read the review in this section, you'll know ( puts on a good show with ) ) Here's a GREAT one!!! Johnny Cash at LULU's that Bruce Cockburn ' "° \ tonight. Watch out for his ring of fire though. P a ' } S°°°"o™th™6th® ( something a little bit more cultured you might _ . \ For ,. TT Reed Sparkplugs (are you J ) want to check out 3 operas- Riders to the Sea, Uhhhhhh-A.C. and the rea dy it.)....wi1l be quite shocking—(sonrrry) at \ \ The Happy Prince and signor deluso in the T.A for

Gator from the 7th t0 Ae 9th - / this Friday and Saturday. PoP the ( / / Not too sure what this is all about but I'm sure it'll Grand hypnotist extraordinaire Mike Mandel is at \ be A-OK...Thomas Treeo and the Red Albino (I Fred's Mall atU of Won the 7th. 1

H

Our intrepid reviewer was too sunburned from the harsh and bright glow that came from Me, Mom and Morgentaler that he couldn't write a review. He did say that all the people at the Bombshelter on the 14th danced and drank and drank and danced. It musta been okay cuz they had an accordion. A mother humpin' ac- cordion. Nice dreads. He also wore these cool little devil horns with Spock ears. If you were there then you had a good time. If you weren't,

. ... you didn't. James? ., pic: James W. Neilson Phil's for a draught

4 jfT^ JH s v somebody please shut the door! Ilr. J.T. Leatherlaiid of Peppier St. proclaims: "Phil's is my favorite spot in the entire universe. I like the wings, I like the staff. I even like tlie conversation. But what I doiit understand is why evervtime somebody opens the door and I holler *draft% Dave brings me another beer." Phil's Grandson's Place Auvuliorc vise is blowing in the l.uiiarkVst: TluirMlay February 21 si j TTiursday February 28, 1991 Brock Greenhalgh, Editor 27 SPORTS Hawkey Hawks in Playoff Party The Hawkey Hawks wound down the regular season with a brief excursion to La Belle Province to meet the red hot Trois-Rivieres Patriotes. Unfortunately, Laurier had little luck cooling them off as Les Patriotes breezed to a 13-2. "They (UQTR) played extremely well, there is no other way to put it," remarked coach Wayne Gowing. After Trois-Rivieres scored four quick goals in the opening minutes of play, Gowing pulled Murray Townsend from the net in favour of Jeff Laceby. However, the assualt continued as Trois- Rivieres led 6-0 after the first period of play and never looked back. The next day Les Patriotes welcomed the OUAA West division leading Waterloo Warriors to Trois Rivieres. The scenario wasn't much different as UW absorbed only their second loss of the season 10-3. The day before UW nipped the University of Ottawa Gee-Gees 3-2 in the nation's capital. One of the hallmarks of a champion, is the ability to bounce back after a tough loss. On Sunday the Hawks ex- hibited resiliency, as rookie Jeff Laceby backstopped Laurier to a 9-3 trouncing of Ottawa U. Sean Davidson and Dan Rintche both regis- tered hat tricks to pace the Hawks offense. Mike Dahle tallied twice while rearguard Larry Rucchin was the other Laurier sniper. Laurier fired 30 shots at the Ottawa cage while a stingy Hawk defense limited the Gee-Gees to a scant 17. On Wednesday the Golden Hawks visited your favourite place and mine, the Western Town and Country Club to tangle with the purple preppy pretentious polo ponies. The Hawks blew a two goal advantage as the Purple and White rallied to earn a 4-4 tie. Mike Dahle led the way with a pair of goals while Dan Rintche and Sean Davidson supplied the singles. On Saturday the University of Windsor Lancers clinched second The coaches have to decide on a goalie for the playoffs. place in the OUAA West division trimming the woeful Ryerson Rams 3-2. Western (12-7-3), Laurier and Windsor (both 13-8-1) all photo by Harvey Luong finished the regular season with 27 points. Windsor gets second spot and a bye because they won both games against the Hawks this sea- son. Laurier earned third place by virtue of taking 3 out of a possible four points in head to head competition with the Mustangs. WLU came out flying to a 9-3 record in the first half of the sea- son. In the second of the campaign they to wrap up skated a 4-5-1 mark, labouring through a January cold spell which saw them drop three THL straight games. by Rob Hums led his team to victory with a hat-trick and one as- sist, while teammate Mike Stulac two goals The Hawks hosted the 9-13 Laurentian Voyaguers on Tuesday in Cord Sports scored a one game divisional play off. In the other contest Western hosted and added two assists. the 11-10-1 Gryphons. The winner of the Laurier Laurentian battle It seemed like the same old story, but this time Mark Eisner, with two, Andrew Copella, and there was a different Last will travel to Windsor today to open up a best of three division semi- ending. year Vancouver Bruce Hodges replied for Winnipeg, who were final. Game 2 will be played (assuming a Laurier victory against the ran away with the Molson Tamiae Hockey League once again backed by the spectacular goaltending B only to no quarter- Voyageurs) at the Bubble on Saturday at 7:00 before shifting back to Division title be match in the ofFrank Giannone. playoffs opponents. Canada's Motor City Monday night. Windsor swept the regular sea- finals of the against A Division son series with the Hawks, posting 4-3 and 5-2 victories. This year, with basically the same line-up, Van- CALGARY 7 MONTREAL 0 The winner of the UWO-Guelph game will have the pleasure of couver once again ran away with the B Division Calgary proved that last week's 8-2 victory over title, and in the firstround of this year's post-season clashing with the 18-2-2Warriors who received the other West divi- Montreal was no fluke with this decisive win in the party they faced a powerful A Division team in sion bye. In the OUAA East division the UQTR and Concordia first game of this two-game total goals semi-final. Toronto in a one-game sudden-death contest. Stingers earned byes, while the U of T Blues, York Yeomen, McGill Pete Sialtis had a big game for Calgary with a hat- This game was arguably the best played all sea- Redmen and Ottawa Gee-Gees were also invited to the post season trick. Rob Bobier added two goals and Dave son in the THL as it featured solid goaltending, fast party. McGowan had four assists. Steve Halvorson shut- up-and-down action, and clean bodychecking. Mil- out his opponents for the fourth time this ler Division scoring runner-up Paul Mammolini season. Montreal's sudden demise can be partly at- scored an early goal to give Vancouver a 1-0 lead, tributed to their lack of defensive discipline but Sigma Chi's MVP candidate Jim Doty tied the over saga the last few games. The absence of last year's THL Epic through the game midway first period. Jeff McKay Top Defenseman Dave Finch hasn't helped, and it put Vancouver ahead again late in the period, and by Anna Dongelmans playoff action. Their first match appears that as Brad Carnegie goes, so goes that would be all the scoring until THL top would be against the University Montreal-but it's playoff time, and Carnegie can't defenseman nominee John Smith tied the game for (Last Article, thank God, of Toronto Blues. Our Lady do it all by himself. It appears that Montreal's sea- a second time with four minutes remaining in the hahaha). On February 16th the Hawks had met Toronto in the son is over, but this writer has been proved wrong game. That goal set up the overtime dramatics as Lady Volleyball Hawks finished past in tournament play but were before. their league play with a not successful. The Blues are a Brian Gillis scored on a penalty shot to send Van- tremendous 3-0 victory over strong team was couver into the semi-finals against Quebec. but Laurier QUEBEC 3 VANCOUVER 0 Windsor. The Lancers had their determined for a Toronto was somewhat of an enigma this sea- win. Vancouver was held scoreless for the first time share of side-outs on the court but Thursday morning team son. Predicted to reach the Mullin-Nesbitt Cup the this season and Quebec won the fifth game of its in the end were no match for a left for Kingston. A short practice finals, a surprising lack of offense and playing last six in this semi-final match-up. Brian Pearson, playoff-bound team. The triumph that afternoon had a slow start but short-staffed on numerous occasions proved to be Rick Boyco, and Tom Seymour scored for Quebec, was even sweeter when Laurier eventually relieved all the normal their downfall. Vancouver, on the other hand, while Brian Masses, up for the THL Top Goalie terminated the last game with a anxieties that a team has to face proved that hard work breeds success; they now join the THL's Award, posted the shut-out. score of 15-0. All team members before beginning a tournament of upper echelon due to their grinding work ethic along with the goal-scoring of ICE CHIPS: THL Award nominees for Rookies of had time on the court and contrib- such high calibre. Thursday eve- Mam- molini and steady the Year, Top Goalie, Most Sportsmanlike Player, uted to the win. This also ning the OWIAA banquet was the gaoltending from Steve MVP, and Top Defenseman have been posted in the clinched 3rd spot in the playoffs held and the All-stars and rookies Rideout. Vancouver could easily be the sleeper in this year's playoffs. Tamiae bulletin board in the Peters Building. (ahead ofLakehead). and coaches of the year were Awards already locked up are: Old Vienna Trophy The Hawks were incredibly From Laurier, named. Laura - for best regular season team Calgary; Wolnik pleased with their 90-91 season was given All- Cooke OWIAA MONTREAL 5 WINNIPEG 4 Division scoring champion - Brad Carnegie and a record of 9-5. This showed star status. has very Laura worked In the other quarter-final contest, Montreal (Montreal); Miller Division scoring - a dramatic increase in talent and champ Steve hard all season to keep her stats came back from a 3-1 deficit against a tough Win- Halvorson (Calgary)... determination from the coaching Semi-final action resumes average high and to improve her- nipeg team to scrape by with an exciting 5-4 win at staff since the 88-89 season. tonight the Bubble. Calgary faces Montreal at self to become a better volleyball and advance to the semi-finals versus Calgary. With league play completed 11:00 pm and Quebec meets Vancouver at mid- Wolnik Division scoring champion Brad Carnegie our women started preparing for continued on page 29 night. the cord 1 28 SPORTS Thursday February 28, 1991 I Basketballers look to next year

by Rob Cresswell without their point guard but the candle still burned Cord Sports dimly for the Hawks.

Well, with reading week now over and every- body loving their dark tans, let's talk about our LAURIER 98 WINDSOR 86 who spent their men's basketball Hawks break With only 2 games left, the Hawks knew that giving it their all for the finall OUAA west final two victories would clinch the final spot. In Mike playoff spot. February 15th and 16th saw the Alessio's final home game of his brilliant 5 > car Hawks travel to chilly Lakehead for a weekend en- career high of 32 points. A great way to close be- counter, followed by a with Windsor on the game fore the home Hawks. Deep also had another 26 20th and Brock on the 23rd. Playoff hopes were a points. Chris Livingstone returned to the lineup but definite possibility so Coach Jeffries had his boys his ankle was still damaged rendering him pumped trip to ineffec- for the Lakehead. tive. LAKEHEAD 83 LAURIER 76 Playoff hopes took a stunning turn for the worse BROCK 92 LAURIER 79 even before the game started as rookie pointguard One win and they were in the playoffs but Chris Livingstone rolled his ankle in warmup and things were not to be as the Brock big men hurt us was lost to the team for both games. Laurier, how- greatly. The fact that Livingstone was still hurting ever, put up a heck of a fight and was actually in also contributed greatly. "You know, he plays so control of the game until the 2 minute mark. Up by well for us all year then something like this takes 9, the Golden Hawks found some way to lose this place, it really hurts," were Coach Jeffries' remarks. one. With no time on the clock and the score tied, On the bright spot rookie center Shawn Roach had Steve Duncan was on the line shooting 2 shots. One 21 points to lead along with 14 rebounds between hoop would give Laurier the fame but Steve he and Mario Vendetti. Deep added 16 and Alessio couldn't ice his veins as he did against Brock ear- 15. lier as he missed the pass. Overtime saw some bad A tough way to lose but things look bright. breaks as Lakehead won by 7. Veteran Alessio who Losing Mike Alessio will be a tough spot to fill. He was obviously inspired by the previous week's was on the court leader who pumped it up late in Cord headline lead the way with 25 points and the season averaging 23 points over the final 6 Danny Deep pumped in 20 points. games. Best of luck to him and his future endeavors. LAKEHEAD 90 LAURIER 71 Well, with another season gone it's routine to Bouncing back after the heartbreaking loss less keep our eyes on the CIAU hunt. This past Tuesday than 24 hours earlier but our boys had to do so if saw Brock at Waterloo, and Lakehead at Mac. The they had any chance of the final playoff spot. Ac- winners play in the tourney this weekend at Guelph. cording to Jeffries the team did so as the game was Look for Brock to wipe out Waterloo then a sur- Hanging on by the fingernails, Laurier was able to silence Windsor once again close until those dreaded final few prise over Guelph. Western, however, will rebound again this season, in the final home game this year with a sparse minutes. Alessio once again scored over 20 as he from a disappointing loss to Waterloo in which Van crowd looking on. added 22 points. Leading scorer this time however Roughnet hooped 49 points and defeat Brock in the photo by Jen Kuntz Deep with season high of 26. A tough weekend OUAA final.

J presents:

1 IbU University Ave W Waterloo NOW OPEN 24 HOURS Gino's famous pickup specials Large 1 item pizza Extra Large 2 items "HOW WET CAN YOU GET?" $6.75 $9.85 Tuesday, March 12th 7 - 9 pm in Atheletics Complex Not valid with any other offer Co-ed Teams of 6-8 persons Prizes, Prizes & more PRIZES! Beer and Liquor Deliveries presented afterwards at Stingers!

Registration: March 5,6,7 10-2:30 in Concourse Events: 1) blind volleyball 2) blind leading blind Ay 3) sitting duck shoot 4) harley hawk race JjL 5) obstacle course (PooDW* Be 6) dingy race q£ Authorized VKroO/ L.C.8.0. ' Pepsi -3 the Laurier - a e 7AA~7rtnn Must be 10 >'rs of B / ~TO /UUU Mon -Thurs pm Molson's Tradition a 112 f\r\(\ 9am-JO SS Call 746-7000 Fri.-Sat. 9am 11 Pnl the cord Thursday February 28. 1991 SPORTS 29 Lady Hawk V-ball continues happy to continued from page 27 have helped and contrib- Starch(TO), Janice Haines (Ot- Ndreu (Brock), Colleen Cupie tion) and Arlene Nogy, general uted to the attainment of the goal. tawa), Marilyn Johnston (Car- and Laurie Leckie (McMaster), manager and trainer. The team player. All season she has been Other award winners included leton) and Rookie of the Year Kelly Breutigam (Lakehead) and extends its thanks to both coaches included in the top ten hitters, (that insanely sexually deprived Sara Belanger (Ottawa) from the our own Laura Cooke. for putting up with the team and aces the province. "middle [I'll servers in Killer" bet!]) Susan East Division. The West Rookie of the Year throughout the season and for set goal at beginning Craig Laura a the (York), Chris Pollitt The West division included was Jo-Anne Hood from pushing us to utilize all of our ca- season (York), of the and the team is Carrie Dorion (TO), Jolan Lisa Ashukian (Brock), Lillain Lakehead and the Coaches of the pabilities. Arlene gets a special Year were Merv Masher (York) thank-you for her patience and and Time Louks (McMaster). skill when dealing with our very The match against Toronto enthusiastic team members. was incredible. Our Laurier Lady PLAYER PROFILES Hawks wanted the win and PAULA BAKER showed it by their excellent per- -team captain for two years formance on the court. The -native of Brantford Toronto Blues took the match in -setter extraordinaire three games, but the scores of 15- -graduating with a degree in 11, 15-13 and 15-10 prove how Phys. Ed. and hopefully heading well Laurier played. Our team to Arizona State for post-graduate was a powerful unit. Their com- work bined skill and positive attitude -completed her three years of vol- led the team to a higher per- leyball play with a beautiful kill formance level than any league against the lakehead Nor'Westers match all season. Although the -most improved hitter on the team loss meant that Laurier would -powerful stuff blocker (for her to on have compete the consola- height) of tion side the tournament, our -well-known for her "looks of women were satisfied in their ear- death" competition. lier level of -player with least amount of Saturday brought a match recognition for her dedication and against Carleton to determine perseverance (with awful bumps- who would compete for sth and not to the setter) 7th spots. Due to a slow start and PAM BUCKELL Even without the crowds, the team managed a 9-5 record. photo a lack of concentration, our -power hitter women suffered a loss in this -completing her 3rd year with the match. It was an unfortunate time volleyball team and the team was definitely not -famous for her hometown of content with their misfortune. Wawa This proceeded to a match versus -greatly improved defensive ac- Lakehead for 7th spot. During tion league play Laurier split their two -hopefully headed towards a Winter soccer? games with Lakehead. The teaching career...but if not, by Brock Greenhalgh Business team, despite problems on the field. This Nor'Westers were upset also, be- there's always the Ice Capades Cord Sports gave them a chance to rest for a few hours before cause of their own loss to -unbelievable kill ratio due to an taking on Carleton University's squad in the semis. McMaster. Both teams were unusual spike approach During the weekend of the 17th and 18th, eleven The game went into sudden death overtime and mildly frustrated and determined -good stutter-step serve reception men from Wilfrid Laurier took part in an Invita- once again, the Waterloo boys were able to come to win a match. The first 4 games -super improvement on serving tional Soccer Tournament at the University of Ot- out on top. The two scorers in this round were Jim were diverse and the match con- (due to wrist strengthening pro- tawa, and although they were not under the title of Hoie and Tom Veguella. tinued to the sth game. With gram) Wilfrid Laurier University, their story deserves to The representatives from Ottawa, the Duke rally-point scoring and an ecstatic Excerpt by Tammy Riley. be told. team, had made their way to the finals of the defence, Laurier tyrannized Lastly, as teammate and good The tournament itself, called Midnight Madness tournament and they were ready to take on the Lakehead and won the game and friend of Anna, I would like to was put together to support the University of Ot- eleven from the K-W area. Lindon Hooper, ex- match in a single digit. Lori thank her on behalf of the team tawa in attaining a position in the OUAA Soccer Laurier soccer great and now CSL player had lent Spoltore had a good offensive for her time and effort in writing loop. The idea is for the team to replace the opening his services to the Duke team, giving the K-W Lads game and Laura Cooke assisted these columns weekly. She also left by the Royal Military College. added incentive to win the game. The team decided greatly by shutting down had an outstanding tournament The Waterloo team arrived Friday and began to use "Plan B" for the final game, moving the for- Lakehead's middle blocker, Kelly with her 49 kills, 80 stuff blocks playing in the all-night tourney at 5:00 pm on Sat- wards in to draw men out of in front of the Duke Breutigam. and 29 ace serves. net. This switch in play allowed to fullbacks to urday. The team included: Steve Rosetanni, Steve This win concluded Laurier's ANNA "PSYCHO" DONGEL- Howard, Tom Veguella, Rob Mikalachki, Freddy have a chance to score. The forwards overlapped season and their OWIAA playoff MANS Temporao, Jim Hoie, Andre Semren, John and started to play man-to-man, while Steve tournament for 1990-91. With a -reporter extraordinaire Cochrane, Brent Dobson, Ben Umpleby and Howard and Rob Mikalachki booted in two for the win to end it all, the girls were -#1 cheerleader Damion Clamp. win. This final win came at about 8:00 am Sunday gratified. The season was a suc- -plays with a lot of heart and In round-robin play the Waterloo team came out morning, after an all night affair. cess for all those who contrib- enthusiasm (although sometimes with three wins and one draw, and ended up win- The eleven member team will be off to King- uted. This includes not only all out in left field) ning the first round of action. After this first round ston for the Queen's tourney during the March 27th current team members, Coach -good all-around player the team had scored 9 goals and allowed only 3 weekend. Unlike the earlier tournament that was an Cookie Leach and assistant coach -can scream "mine" so loud that against. invitational, this upcoming tourney is open to only Ruth MacNeil but also Jen Halls, people in Toronto can hear her Moving into the quarter-finals, the team was universities, including alumni squads and teams Sonia Dona, Sheila (for keeping -a dedicated athlete who plays able to pull off another victory against the Ontario from the United States. all of our injuries in fair condi- while enduring injury

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- • 8:30 11:30 / Giveaways every 15 min. 30 the cord SPORTS Thursday February 28. 199] Women finish difficult season by Jeff Dragich hope all the players from this year The squad made a run at the start services of two starters for the half, she put on a Cord Sports one woman will come out again, we'll be of the second half and tied the game (guard Stephanie Packer show in the first seven The Lady Hawk Hoopsters competitve next year." minutes game with 12 minutes left. Then was out with a sprained ankle, (13 of her game-high 18 points finished a difficult season over LAKEHEAD 78 LAURIER 54 Lakehead turned on the gas and and forward Janice Field was were in that seven-minute Reading Week, losing their last The Lady Hawks were clearly put Laurier away. suspended for missing the morn- stretch). four games. However, for a very suffering from jet lag and the Once again Jen led the way ing shoot-around). Then centre "We played them pretty even young team, the future appears Nor'Westers took advantage. with 13 points. First year for- Jen picked up three early fouls in the half, but it was the scoring bright. Lakehead had a 49-30 lead at the wards Tiffany Bunning and Riki and missed the majority of the drought in the first half was what Hawks coach Sue Lindley had half. Martin added 11 points and 8 half. did us in." some closing thoughts on the Lindley described the game. rebounds, and 10 and 7 respec- The Golden Hawks struggled, The Hawks managed to year, "It's been a long season, but "It was just an awful first shoot half. tively. scoring just 14 first-half points. just29% from two-point range on we've seen a tremendous im- We played like we had been "Tiffany had a tremendous They didn't score in the last 7 the game. provement in every player. And travelling for 12 hours previous; weekend," said Lindley. "She's minutes of the half, and didn't the team has come together on we were tired and sluggish and playing with more confidence, make a field goal in the last 11 BROCK 58 LAURIER 56 and off the court, which is nice to they took it to us. We played OT bet- more intensity on the floor, and minutes. The Hawks played see. ter in the second half, well, but but it is un- it's working out for her. "We dug ourselves into a hole gave the game away in "The real test is going to be acceptable to the end. let someone score "Riki played well on Satur- early in the game," Lindley com- They had a six-point how each player takes experi- a against lead with a the 49 in half us." day. Now you can see she really mented. "Without two starters all minute left in regulation, ence they've had and how they First year centre Jen Field and al- led wants the ball inside. She gets game, and a third out most of the lowed the Badgers to work on their skills and con- 18 points. catch up. the Hawks with good position, and makes some half with three fouls, we really Brock hit 2 three-pointers ditioning over the summer. If LAKEHEAD 75 in the LAURIER 59 good moves against tough struggled. We executed our of- last 40 seconds to tie the score. each player does that over the The Hawks came back the defense when she gets the ball." fense well, we had good shots, we Lindley was satisfied with summer, we'll be a whole lot bet- next evening with a the better per- WINDSOR 69 LAURIER 48 just couldn't put the ball in the effort, but not the result. "We ter team next year. formance. They stayed close to The Hawks buried themselves ocean. played the ball over at "And I think with the addition the Nor'Westers for most crunch of the with a terrible first half per- "And then when I put Jen time when all we had to do was of a couple of new players, and I game, trailing by at 7 the half. formance. They were without the back on the floor in the second hold the ball, run the clock out, and wait for them to foul. We missed some free throws that we should have scored. Then, one of their fifth-year players decided to take over - and nailed a Hail Mary three-pointer WB111!mB» MBBK^BBS/H/KSjBSSSS^SSSKKSK^^^^^^^J^ with five sec- onds left to tie the game. "We did a pretty good job in overtime. We fell behind, but came back. We had a chance to tie. With 17 seconds left, we got v ®H'IS w" the ball back. We didn't get the Pr|||M|rt& sg| shot we wanted, but we still got a shot, and it missed. The Hawks improved their field goal percentage to a respect- mmm ■ hf j able 43%. However, they made just 13 of 25 free throws, a 52% clip, just one more in regulation mEmm *Wt would have clinched a win. Wm^m^ Janice was top scorer with 25, Jen added 12. LOOSE FEATHERS: The Lady Hawks finished with a 2-12 record in the OWIAA West. Waterloo finished with the same record, but the Hawks won the tie breaker for seventh place...Congratulations go out the Field sisters. Janice was selected to the 12 player OWIAA West All-Star Team. Jen was voted the league's Rookie of the Year. Great Grad Portraits Great Pricw

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by Chris Dodd I've been here," said assistant snubbed. Andrew Reed got an Cord Sports coach Steve Davis. Davis spent honourable mention and Bruce time as a player and is now the McGreggor was totally left off The Wilfrid Laurier Golden assistant coach. "We just couldn't the team. This is a crime. This Hawks Men's Volleyball team get things together after Christ- guy was the only Hawk who was highly touted at the outset of mas," commented Davis, "The came to play everyday. Statisti- this season but the fortunes of the low point seemed to be losing to cally he is as good as anyone in team did not correspond to the Brock twice." These two losses to the league. Bruce got burnt and preseason predictions. It seems Brock dashed the playoff hopes as as Kabooom! -goes Captain Stomach. it's simple that. This ob- the team could not get the ball of the Hawks. vious omission goes to prove that rolling after its remarkable vic- The Hawks never realized reform is needed in the selection tory over the highly ranked squad their potential as they had one of of these teams. Bruce deserved to from Mac. The volleyball Hawks the best teams in Ontario on be there. then took a nosedive towards the paper. This poses the question The Hawks now have the off Belly bash bottom of the standings and 'What happened?' This is a season to contemplate the great ended up missing the playoffs. mystery to all fans and the collapse of the past campaign. by Cannon Kahuna The Hawks knew they had no coaches don't have any more ans- The Hawks will obviously have chance at the playoffs last wers. Davis and Smith have been the personnel next season to -Well folks, after a one year layoff the students of PE242 have weekend as they travelled to in the business for a long time make a run at the OUAA West brought back the LAURIER CANNONBALL and BELLYFLOP Windsor to close out the season and it is up to them to evaluate crown but after this season noth- Championships. After the one year layoff, enthusiasm is high and this against the hapless Lancers. The the season and possibly make ing is for certain. Hopefully year's contest should be one to remember. Slated for Wednesday Hawks opened the season against some changes for next year. coach Smith and Davis can rally March 13 at 8:30 pm a handful of cannonballers and bellyfloppers Windsor with a drubbing of the The personnel will remain vir- the corps and turn a losing team will be looking to empty the pool of all its water. As of presstime Lancers and hoped to finish the tually unchanged next year as all into a winning team by the time prizes and sponsers had already been supplied and should be much season off in the same style. The the players are eligible to return. October rolls around. It is con- deserving of the coveted "champ". Everyone involved shall recieve Hawks came away with a 3-1 win However Arnie McFalls and ceivable that the Hawks can turn some type of reward for entering. Prizes for best dressed shall also be as they dominated the Lancers Bruce McGreggor are probably it around and finish second or separate from standings so costumes are seriously encouraged. 15-10,15-7, 15-17, 15-13. Every- going to move on. Hopefully third in the OUAA West but not Entrance sign ups will be available in the concourse and AC in one was given a chance to play coach Smith has been doing some without some changes and hard days to come so get ready. All residence floors are encouraged to par- and for the first time in a long recruiting and the Hawks will be work. Hopefully the coaches and ticipate. Competition from football heads such as Tom "Big Splash" while it seemed as if everyone en- able to fill the spots of these two players will be up to the task and Heighway will be intense. joyed the game of volleyball. key losses. once again WLU volleyball fans Contestant fee is a mere 2 bucks and the event i£ open and free to "This was the most dis- The OUAA West All-star will have something to cheer all public. It should be something to see so come on out. appointing year I've had since team came out and Laurier got about.

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FRlDA^March^^^^^^^" TUESDAY March 5 j. | (Is/vOL-V6ME(Jr 8 PM - I Ltiotl AfA&EMic.) ( £\j£Er I

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- s^l f \/ & jP J February 25 March 6 P MPfli 3 I^^ll4 n 3ti flfl S Applications available in I Please submit' resume and application to: \. WLU Office , Student ■'~ _ 0 s Union s r' T""Mrs z:r° 4 for Applications: .„ Deadline tovtoS: X* v iiWeek o112 March ii - is, 1991 Friday, March 8 at 4;3opni #