IMP

22 February 2002 The Student Newspaper for Imperial College Issue 1229

Gold Fii ltd the Possibly the weirdest thing rest of him. Oscar I've seen today, and I went to gets it on. (Page 27) Council! Simian. (Page 25)

Council Makes A Decision

The Union is half-way to a new constitu- year since the end of his tenure as Deputy tion this week after the draft survived its President (Clubs & Societies), resigned at first reading in Tuesday's unconventional the last meeting due to the conflicting meeting of Council. demands of his Union duties and degree The meeting kicked off with a record course. Andy Heeps, former Union turn-out as members of IndianSoc tried to President and College celebrity, had take issue with the President's handling acted in Mr Sharpe's place for Tuesday's of fire regulations at their 'East meets meeting and was confirmed as Council West' event. Council decided not to enter- Chair by a vote before the meeting closed. tain the complaint, however, requesting This meeting marks a particularly that they should present their argument favourable part of the nascent constitu- more formally at a later date. tion's journey to implementation. The remainder of the meeting was con- Council's work was completed before the sumed by the approval and amendment imposed guillotine - essentially an of a draft constitution, the creation of Andy Heeps (for it is he...) enforced end to discussion at a specific which has so far taken up the majority of time - which was certainly a contrast Council sessions this year. It has been should someone call for the quorum to be with previous meetings. been necessary due to the change to fac- checked. As a result, members last night Unless there is any strong opposition at ulties by College, which must now be spent much of their time referring to "the its next reading in Union Council, the con- reflected in the Union's own structure. Q word" when discussing the quora to be stitution will pass to College's Council Recent Councils have also been set by the new constitution. The draft and, subject to its approval, should take plagued by low attendance of its mem- itself passed reasonably uneventfully, effect on the 1st August 2002. Alisdaii bers. The number of attending members with no major upheavals. must exceed the Council's quorum for the The final item on the agenda was the meeting to be valid - half of the members matter of Council Chair. Sam Sharpe, who in this case - but a count is only required had been chairing meetings for the past

1111^ you get to decide who wins and who REFERENCE loses. It's all a bit sadistic, really." COLLECTION Imperial College and Interviews with all the candidates... Science Museum Libraries college news

ULU Elections

On top of our own Union elec- also of UCL, standing for Vice distributed within the next Issue 1229 tions, the candidates for the President for Welfare & two weeks. top posts at the University of Student Affairs. ULU successfully piloted its 22 February 2002 London Union have been There are some concerns online voting scheme last year, announced, including one of about the election, as it and this year's ULU sabbati- Acting Editor: Ali Wren this year's ICU sabbaticals. appears that voters will not cals were the first people in News: Alex Coby Students at educational have the option of voting for a the UK to be elected to public Reporter: John Stratford institutions across the capital, 'New Election' candidate, positions by an electronic poll. Books: Jon Matthews including Imperial, will vote meaning that those standing The launch of the first stage Arts: Jon Brenner online next month to decide for uncontested positions are of ULU's electronic voting Film: Darius Nikbin who will run the Union in the almost assured of winning process on 4 March is due to Sports: Vacant coming year. their respective polls. Voters be attended by Robin Cook MP Crossword: Dr. Hot Fudge Standing for the only con- will also be unable to spoil Leader of the House of Comic: J tested position, that of their online ballot 'papers'. Commons, who is a supporter President, are Charlotte All ULU members, except of introducing similar technol- With Thanks To: Dawkins of QMUL and Chris the Returning Officer and ogy to future parliamentary Joe, Dave, Bobby Piper from Kings College. including the candidates ballots following the small Printed by: MCP Litho Limited Rob Davenport, this year's themselves, are entitled to turnout at the 2001 General Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Deputy President for Clubs & vote in the election, provided Election. This year's local elec- Consort Road, London, Societies at our Union, is that they have registered for a tions will give the electorate SW7 2BB standing for election as ULU's ULU card. These can be the option of voting electroni- Tel: 020 7594 8072 Vice President for Sports. Also obtained from Union Reception cally for the first time. Email: [email protected] nominated are Claire Wren of in Beit Quad, or from the ULU More information about the Felix is a registered UCL, standing for the position reception in Malet Street. ULU elections is available at newspaper: of Vice President for Finance & Passwords providing access to www.ulu.lon.ac.uk. ISSN 1040 - 0711 Societies, and James MacColl, the online voting site will be John S Copyright © Felix 2002

Nurses at Wye? News In Brief

Preliminary negotiations are Wye is already accommo- NUS Referendum Date Set London to thank all of those underway between the dating 55 cadets from the A date has now been set for who entered the Lord Mayor's authorities at Wye and the Police Training academy in the referendum on Imperial Show in November. NHS to provide accommoda- Ashford. It is not thought that College Union's affiliation to Bo', which reaches the age tion for nurses on campus. any further such ventures are the National Union of of 100 this year, took part in The current plan involves the being planned, as the Provost Students. The poll will take the annual Veteran Car Club letting of one or two buildings of Wye recently announced place on 14 and 15 March in all Run from London to Brighton to the NHS for this purpose, his intention to see student departments. The referendum in the same month, in which and giving the nurses full numbers there rise by ten per- will require a turnout of 15% the Rector, Sir Richard Sykes access to the bars and sports cent a year for each of the (around 1800 students) in rode in the vintage car to per- facilities. next five years. order for it to be valid. sonally deliver a message from The Union have been In other news from Wye, Campaining from both the the Lord Mayor to the Mayor of involved at every stage of Felix has learnt that College is 'Yes' and 'No' camps is expect- Brighton and Hove. The event these negotiations, and will in the process of disposing of ed to begin in earnest after the at Mansion House was an continue to be consulted as another of the residences imminent sabbatical elections. opportunity for Bo' to deliver a they progress. Felix has been there - Coldharbour House - in reply. assured that this deal, if it order to raise funds. It is not Bo' Selecta One of the presenters, resi- happens, will be to the bene- yet known how this, com- Boanerges, one of the mascots dent architect Prof. Maxwell fit of both the Union as a bined with the increase in let- of City and Guilds College, Hutchinson, had infuriated the whole and the students at ting accommodation to non- featured recently on local radio engineers by calling City and Wye, and the on-going con- students, will affect the station BBC London following Guilds College an institution sultation should make sure Provost's planned increases in its appearance at a dinner of "typists," during his com- that this continues to be the student numbers. held at the official City resi- mentary of the show. case. Alex dence of the Lord Mayor of John S news world

World News

Shootings Engagement, the soldiers then the shots are coming from terrorism he refers to as a Four men and a pregnant opened fire for a period of before you do anthmg else, "war" - described North Korea, woman were fired upon by approximately one minute, otherwise if you stick your along with Iraq and Iran, as members of the Parachute during which time over 100 head up it's likely to get shot representing an "axis of evil" Regiment this week in an rounds were fired. off." He added that "the shots from which the "forces of ter- unfortunate incident that may One man was killed in the fired must have come from the rorism.. . gam support and sus- mark a turning point in the for- incident, while two others suf- direction of [the victims' car]. tenance for their wicked tunes of the international fered minor injuries. The They may well have got caught deeds." peacekeeping forces of woman - on her way to hospi- in an unlucky crossfire." However, many in North and Afghanistan. tal at the time - delivered a A full joint investigation by South Korea are worried that The six soldiers concerned, baby in a nearby house some the Royal Military Police and Bush's remarks may hinder or part of the seventeen-nation hours later. The paras involved Afghan security forces is cur- even damage attempts at International Security were taken off patrol, in accor- rently underway. reunification. Korea was split Assistance Force (ISAF), were dance with MoD policy, while into two countries following stationed in a command post two - the corporal leading the Bush In Korea the Korean War in the last cen- on top of a grain silo at the time section and one other man - George Bush this week visited tury - regarded by many as the of the shooting, which took flew home on Tuesday. South Korea as part of a tour first real (successful) test of the place on Sunday evening. Speaking for the Ministry of over the next fortnight of the nascent United Nations. This Hearing gunfire and, apparent- Defence, a spokesman insisted Pacific Rim countries of Asia. year the richer, capitalist South ly, bullets striking the walls that the men had at all times The visit was expected to plays co-host to the FIFA around them, the leader of the acted in accordance with Army cause controversy, however, World Cup with Japan, and party decided that the noises policy, adding, "When you're because of his remarks earlier native pundits and businesses provided sufficient evidence of under fire from an unknown on this year in his State Of The are hoping the event will pro- a "close and immediate" direction, it's really a very Union address. At the time, the mote Korean values, culture threat. Under their UN- scary thing. You make very US president - referring the and standing to the world. approved Rules Of sure that you establish where US-led efforts to control global Joe

Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), Author, lexicographer

Wye Campus, JCR Union Building South Kensington, dBs Club Bar 6:30pm Tuesday, February 26 6pm Wednesday, February 27

[) Sabbatical Elections ncoNege w nninn Should Imperial College Union affiliate to the National Union of Students (NUS)?

Yes / No

You Choose

NUS Referendum - Voting 14th and 15th March For more information check outwww.union.ic.ac.uk or contact Sen Ganesh ([email protected]) Le great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. Art Spander, Columnist

6;30pm/Tuesday, February 26 Wye Campus, JCR Union Building, 6:30pm 6;00pm/Wednesday, February 27 South Kensington Campus, dBs Club Bar, 6:00pm

10-5:OOpm/Thursday, February 28 10-5:00pm/Friday, March 1

12 noon/Monday, March 4 South Kensington Campus, Union Dining Hall

How to Vote To vote, you will need your Imperial College Identification (Swipe) card. You are permitted to vote once in your OWN department. See www.su.ic.ac.uk/elections for more information.

Sabbatical Elections arts feature

From The Ashes

Phoenix is the Art and Literature magazine of the college. It is published once a year in the summer term, but here's a selection Matrix A of the material that has been submitted so far. This year, Phoenix will also contribute to a week long exhibition as part of the Arts Welcome. Festival week (February 25th - March 1st). It offers a chance for Welcome to the world they made for you. members of the college to have their stories, photos, paintings To a world without pain. and poems published and displayed around college. If you Because your nerves have been cut. would like to contribute please e-mail [email protected]. To a world without want. Because your desires have been removed. Apology To a world without hate. Because your fury has been suppressed. Let me not in the workings of my mind Never more to be lost. Profess consistency. Life is not life Because they know exactly where you are. Which sees success and chooses to be kind Never more to be unloved. Or works to ease the never ending strife. As they strip your mind of resistance. O no it is the never fixed mark, Never more to fear. As sullied as the average canteen cup As the truth is kept from you. Filled with pain, torment and thoughts ever dark No more nightmares. With one fixed truth - sometimes people just screw up. No more dreams. Sense lost, grammar a veritable sea No more sorrow. Coherence ripped and stripped no more to be. No more joy. So if this coursework's crap and from me marks that takes This is the beginning of your new life. Please note we learn the most from our mistakes... You are already dead. George Hale Andrew Prowse

earefs HAMLET 26th, 27th, 28th February and 1st March Imperial College Concert Hall Union Building, Beit Quad, South Kensington Tickets on sale at lunchtimes from the BMS Building, St. Mary's, and IC Union e-mail msh97iic.ac.uk to reserve

£5 talk union

Harvard, MIT or Imperial?

A Note by Sen Ganesh, Union President

One of the key issues that has come to the tution with great resources and some of the Rector in his recent talk, is to improve fore recently is the number of applications the most talented students to be found the image of Imperial College. Whilst the to Imperial. Some of you may have read in College is well known is scientific circles the press and media that there has been a it is not as renowned as the Harvards or worrying trend in a reduction of applica- the MITs of the world. Improving the tions for university science courses. Some image will attract help attract the best of this has in part been attributed to an students and staff to maintain our high increasing mistrust in science. This has standards. also been compounded in recent years by Another short-term effect might be an the Foot and Mouth crisis and the British increase in the proportion of international Beef fiasco. students. There is still a large number of Fewer and fewer students are studying high calibre international students who science and maths at A-Level and apply- want to study in the UK but this in itself is ing for science and engineering subjects. not a long-term solution. There are other Imperial College, being a specialist insti- ways in which the College can address tution focusing on science, technology this problem. The College has a well- and medicine will face the brunt of it. In developed programme of promoting sci- effect the market for good students is ence to the younger generation in the shrinking and the competition between hope of attracting more people towards the top Universities will get ever more anywhere. Whatever the College does to science. fierce. address these problems, it is important Whatever happens there is going to be So what is College going to do to com- that we must not compromise our posi- a change in the culture of the College - we bat this? Firstly the College must main- tion as a leading institute and lower stan- are entering a new age of competition tain itself as a world leader in teaching dards. . and modernisation to establish our status and research. We are a world-class insti- One of the key strategies as outlined by as a world-class institute.

Imperial College Great Hall Friday 8th March SOOS 8pm

Carl Orff's darrmna E>urana

Sandstrom - (jloria

^eethovcn - Hallelujah Chorus

0»

Imperial College Union Choir Hatch end High School Chamber Choir Imperial College Symphony Orchestra

impends Tickets E7 / £3.50 students. Tickets available on the door, or in advance from Miss Ainslee Rutledgt >» college room IVILBOa, Blyth Music and Arts Centre, or reserve online at http: \ \ www.su.ic.acuk \ choir union union talk

IC Radio

IC Radio's Science at Six is music every other week. that if your application lacks raged against the status quo home to the Vagina Each team tries to outdo the the correct keywords, the by tracking down science's Monologues, home-cooking other in their drive to bring computer scanning your most controversial charac- your own aphrodisiacs, and you a fresh, upfront science neatly word-processed epis- ters. psychological insights to programme that's more Five tle will bin it before the We get our kicks from tak- help you win friends and get Live than Radio 4, more human resources human as ing a lop-sided view of sci- them into bed. But is this Channel 4 than BBC 2, with a much as casts their eyes over ence and if you're gutted to Science? We think so. You fast moving format to carry it! Real head-hunters fea- have missed any, we archive can tune in to enjoy the show you from six to seven. tured in a book review - its every second of what we every Tuesday at 6pm for an The stuff we throw into the amazing what people will broadcast at hour of delight and enlight- show each week depends collect - and they did not icradio.com/relive, just scroll enment. entirely on the whim of the even have formaldehyde at back to the last Tuesday and So who produces this production team but as we the time. Not only that, but we're there for you to click, excellent magazine pro- broadcast anything up to ten we've kitted up in high-tech listen and enjoy! gramme, full of drama, wit items in the hour, we guaran- motor-biking clothes and and fresh facts from the tee there'll be something for hosted our very own Blind The Science At Six Show hap- world of Science? Well, two you. Date for lovelorn Marie Curie. pens at 6-7pm on Tuesdays teams from Imperial's In the last few weeks, We've had far out animal Science Media Production Science at Six has brought sound effects, interviews course compete to create an you careers advice from a with real scientists and a few icradio, that we've just made up and hour of science-talk and head-hunter who warned www.icradio.com (u

Applications are invited for positions as

REAPPLICANTS

in Part-Time Staff Needed FALMOUTH KEOGH HALL Union staff needed to work in the Applications are invited from Shop and Bars. lively, outgoing and responsible Many variable hours available. students for positions as reapplicants in Falmouth Keogh Hall £4.10 per hour plus benefits. for the 2002-2003 academic year. Training provided. Contact Michelle on 020 8594-8060 Application forms are available from the Accommodation Office, or x-48060 Email: [email protected]. 15 Princes Gardens, or Falmouth Keogh Wardens/Subwardens.

# imperial Completed application forms coNege should be returned to either the Accommodation Office or to one of the FK Wardens/Subwardens by Work for yourself. Work at the Union... Monday 4th March 2002 at 5pm ..and make a difference to your social life back talk

Condom-nation? practices to distribute free to cards this year. If this is the unions? If we were to enter their patients and we get our reason can I ask why there the NUS cartel what would Dear person who wrote last share. Although this is more hasn't been a referendum happen to the selection of real week's Inkwell, than other local practices, before?? ales for instance - would the because there is recognition In the two years I spent in prices increase and the choice If obtaining condoms is that we serve a student popu- halls as fresher then re-app diminish? However it might embarrassing to you then are lation, it is not enough for stu- many people queried why enable people to acquire you really mature enough to dents to take as many as they Imperial was not in the NUS. Stella on the South Ken cam- be using them? The offering of want. This is why we have to The reason for asking the pus. free condoms has to be con- limit the number that are questions was not because Then we move onto the trolled for various reasons but given to each individual. NUS colleges provide cheaper cost. To join the NUS requires the first of them is the law. It Furthermore, in order to beer or food, or that NUS a yearly joining fee running is illegal to encourage under- qualify for this supply of con- membership would ensure a into tens of thousands. Given age sex in any way and as it is doms we have to provide sta- better union. I would like to the current financial situation possible for U16s to use the tistics to the Health Authority guess that most wanted of the Union I would be inter- health centre, a form with on the gender and ages of Imperial to join the NUS so ested to see where this money date of birth details must be those who request them. The they could have a NUS card is to come from. Perhaps from used. Secondly, I have used simplest, most economic and and get discounts at HMV and improving the efficiency of the the service for 4 years and efficient way of doing this is the cinema. central administration? I have never found it embar- to enter the data on to So, why should Imperial join doubt it. Last year the club rassing, just a useful service. patients' records and then the NUS? funding was cut severely, Is society so repressed we search for it. Hence the Politically it would be a with arts clubs being hit as can't admit the need for safe request forms. The request bonus: it is a well known well as sports teams (if any- sex? Finally some religious forms do provide confidential- secret that whoever becomes one can suggest how to fit 17 groups oppose the idea of ity for students or would it be president of the NUS mysteri- rugby players into a minibus contraception and therefore less embarrassing to stand at ously ends up working at plus kit without exceeding the on display to-be-taken con- the Reception desk asking for Westminster within a few weight limit please tell me). doms could cause these peo- "6 naturelle please". years. Also colleges have to The summer ball is nearly ple offence which stops the I am dismayed, yet strangely declare a political allegiance scrapped due to lack of fund- health centre being for all. impressed, by Inkwell's claim upon entry. However Imperial ing: yet the Union can afford I do hope however that you to be responsible for Britain's has been apolitical ever since the membership - how? don't find using condoms as high rate of unwanted preg- the events of the sixties when At this point I would like to embarrassing as you seem to nancies. A more appropriate political factions of the college point out that I have no find obtaining them. assessment would be to created havoc. Only last year grudges with the NUS: at Yours, examine the unwanted preg- the Felix editor was brought in sixth form I helped usher the Jolyon Thompson, Aero nancy rate at Imperial College front of the council for his college union into the NUS. compared to other universi- political views within Felix. Only there the fee was consid- ties, particularly those which On an administration level it erably smaller and did not do not offer free condoms. would give the Union extra affect the student activities. I Dear Editor, This is reassuringly low, pre- clout on certain issues also agree that IC students sumably either because deemed important such as are discriminated upon by Inkwell has a point (Condom Inkwell is active elsewhere or, fees etc. But would help on high street retailers because Bureaucracy - Felix 8 February more likely, because the external issues be exchanged we do not have NUS cards. 2002) so to speak. Here at the majority of students think that for a devolution of internal Surely that should be what Health Centre we would dear- filling in a form is a small price powers to the NUS?? the college should be cam- ly love to leave buckets of con- to pay for condoms. On the catering side being paigning for. doms lying around for eager Yours faithfully, part of the NUS cartel would In placing the opportunity students to carry away. Irene Weinreb help to ensure the procure- to get NUS cards certain peo- Indeed, we did give 2500 con- ment of cheap beer and food. ple in the Union are dangling doms to ICSU to distribute However such cartels exist a huge carrot in front of the during Freshers' Week, hope- NUS within college including students they represent. fully promoting safe sex. strong links with breweries However, four years at Unfortunately, such gestures Dear Felix, built up over the years: Has Imperial have taught me that of largesse are constrained anyone else noticed that the wherever a carrot is dangled, by... The Health Authority. It is President Ganesh gave the prices for alcohol and hot food a dirty great big stick is not Kensington, Chelsea and reason in his letter to Felix for in Southside and the Union too far away. Westminster Health Authority holding a referendum that lots are cheaper than ULU and Regards, who give the condoms to local of freshers asked for NUS most of the other London NUS Simon Child (Phys IV) this week k

Open Invitation s Friday Weekend

The Union will be hosting an open discussion led Thi by the Union President, Sen Ganesh, concerning Wee the evening activities held at the Union. Rag Ball ABV This will be held in meeting room 7B in the School Uniform day, Some drinking. Some

s today, for RAG week. more drinking. It's not lower level of the East Wing of the Union n Building, Beit Quad, l-2pm, Monday, March 4. Old school ties, short necessarily a drinking plaid skirts, jumpers for club, but maybe it is. Opinions are being sought on the nights held goalposts, not in my day, And some old skool Unio at the Union; especially the type, frequency, costs Event then party at the Union. tunes. Like Aciiieeeed! Union, 8pm dBs, 6pm and variety, among any other concerns you may have about the Union. Karma Felix Dinner t s They'. . , and; GG hew at i>Wx '. > All are welcome, whether you come to the they'n a dBs .i , a chillier toiiight,

this c- ' 'i RAG it's to, 1 1 Union often or not at all. Your opinion matters. event - 1 , aie or any,., ' thin:; a lot a »' $ . i fa me atJ o aing,

impend Studen Activitie coMege Union Union Concert Hall Monsters, Inc. Shallow Hall Work for yourself. Work at the Union... Many will be surprised Not about a swimming s e to hear that this is the and make a difference to your social life. pool, but really about a top film in Britain at the fat bloke, who goes out moment, but then many with a fat bird, who he Th

t are surprised by that sees as thin, or some- A Movie springy worms in jars thing egually propster- gag, so you never know. ous. Arse, more like.

n Gould i be time to see Yetr . think it - is' - Oh o how many cflanneis are what u. How cool J . silly >. People will flock show, , nig at t:o ! ' ray wisdom,

,.m for 1 '.MI ,'- Idon't:" ItHQW Radi not. watching Uiem? & whi i ia.n.eway is...

Televisio Sky One, bpn;

Deep Purple Bananarama

s How very very very very Did you see what I just very cool. Dum dum wrote? Why are you still & dummm, dum dum dum- here? You should be on s dum. These guys are the phone even as we older than your grandfa- speak, booking your

Every Wednesday Gig ther, and still rocking. tickets... well, move! Concert London Apollo H'Smith Astoria

dbs opens at 5pm xxn Bars HI midnight Dance til 1am Discov i i '. )b by Also d ' .,

Late Night Hot Food/Chill Out in the UDH s e Sii William Ramsey. The .' ,! i, , Cloakroom from Opm name - from the r. : . >!' nates; imperial the Greek word hellos from ins word

e9e (sun), and is used for neos (new) It is used foi j£) Free before 10pm *union Nobl Gase After 10pm: ICU £1.00 / £1.50 Others p sea : : tamed (_^~ Imperial College Union. Belt Quad, Prince Consort Road diving. week this

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

Arts Festival Trivia Cheesy Wotsits Comedy Shaft! A festival of arts, per- Once more unto the Words fail to describe So you think you're Wukka wukka wukka haps? Taking over dBs breach, dear friends. this extravaganza of funny, do you? Luckily wukka. That's a wa-wa for the entire after- What's the capital of delight. People return we'll never find out, pedal. Vucka VROW! noon/evening, with arts Outer Mongolia? What from matches to com- because we get profes- And that's a power stuff. If you like arts, was the date of miserate or celebrate, sionals in. Tony Law is chord. Together they are you'll like this. Gladstone's Bag? and then get drunk. Yus. this week's victim. 70's music. Pow! dBs, 2pm 'til late. Da Vinci's, 8-ish. Union, For Ever dBs, 7:30pm Union, 8pm

Leonardo Society : Links Haas set i> :sr. Get . i: -.. a ad head Learn to be a first aid '1 lie-, 'II h}.':;/.'. , r;r.i.i P,h. t ua St oiety ar« .long u; trainer Train to be a first tK,"> fie: lag th« i ntel putting vi 1) as on I'hey 1 ' ' M h'i .

who will be drawing, aid learner The perrau- IfiCI aft! mii.'jr,!. J> '.ST], - 11 .ii 5 '' i 1 it ! :c- :ii . :yr-,_,!,:) i, 'ir 2, and painting and sculpting :,!' ion: ire ton grea to ypng. fotilbe: opptirtuiai- con o ' uile i h , well hey' it i

with ail materials pro- fit ! 1 IOI o But go ...i u 1 !.' 1'. t;. .M i. not r-'i < ' Hi, that's 11 tOO ."' 'Ill * . vu led for only £3 learn how to save lives blow Die die die!!! ' 'i J 1- n from Blyth. Music Centre. 3-13. Huxley. 7pm UP - Base wni 7i .-.- brow ,i, ' hvon, '{''> ' ii, 1 i' .,.'.( , i ,i ,. ' sum

Rat Race The Princess Diaries Iris From Hell Vanilla Sky If you liked Airplane, I remain convinced that Sadly not an in-depth I guite like the sound of Not quite as catchy as you'll probably like this, this will be a reworking documentary on the fas- this film, but since I've his cousin, Mr. Ice, this but then you'd also of Pygmalion, but hav- cinating subject that is been rude about all the film is about a failed rap- probably like a compli- ing not seen it, I have no the human visual organ, other films, I have to be per who was the son of mentary lobotomy. right to comment. Not but instead about Iris fair and say that this is some hippies, born into Come to my office for that that will stop me, of Murdoch: she's not even probably a big hairy the world of flower your free trial. course. Ha ha ha. related to the A-Team... load of bollocks. power. Not really.

Star. Trek. Voyag ei=:- M < > - -gxgk \ V o y > iii Star 'Tr ek:; Voyager ;: . Star Trek Voyager Stai T» i/oyager I can't believe how well While ii i;J si.iJl on on Sky Pammit...Back to Sky ivj; yoii !.!''!.; |0 iVl'/IKJ j ,i y jr; < , i his is going- hero is One at 5pm, I feel it is One I'm beginning to with the old fa n ;u,o<:- b it will ' ?c is' i 11 , .in.. i- , . .,!i.-ii, ni wo:1.} pointf.g it that ffiihk they've golSJiea- e an /o.i- imagine < day the sound i my ;iwti

1 from tlio fourth quadrant it v:i also or; some other ;sail. y o i. > g. B i u;;:life least. thai < i n, j; « i wiliu Dl voice, ai i I VP a ,

..; J galaxy channels as well, just to this. oiif's s? a different !h.'. :<\ l t"'.. I ir m iti -i) IOI >,!..! they're iri.:'.: really screw your mind thru- rhfit s i )K. : [)(>riljj (._! ' I' ,( 1,1 1 / "Oiuo;.;- i; ': ' '. 13 Sky One, hprn BBC2, 6.20pm 3ty}One^Midttight Sky Om 5pm .'A'. ' >ne > m

Ben And Jason Black Rebel Motorcycle Richard Hawley Drowning Pool BuffSeeds Similar to Belle and Club Bloke from Pulp and The No idea, but you might Similar emotions on this Sebastian, but with But I have heard these Longpigs crooning away have heard of them. one, but again may be slightly less pretentious guys, and one of my in a poppy kind of fash- They're the only people worth a listen. Some names. Okay, I admit, I muso friends told me ion, maybe slightly on today, so that's why chap here says they're should have heard of they were like someone. rocky poppy, come to they're here. They might average. So I probably them but I haven't. Fine. Jesus and Mary Chain? think of it, choppy! be really good! wouldn't bother, then. Hanover Grand The Mean Fiddler Cargo Mean Fiddler Monarch

Argon r yptou Xesori RactBfi Boredon, .

Also discovered by Sir Bastard Sir William Go on, guess who Yup, Hurrah! Discoverered by DKoovei > 1 ' - i William Ramsey, lint this Ramsey also discovered Sir William [

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How To Vote: A Quick Guide

On the following pages, all the election made about them, either good or bad, and Friday 1st March, you will be pre- candidates present their manifestoes, that you wish you hadn't. You've spoken sented with five bits of paper: One for and have been interviewed by Felix. to people in your hall, in your clubs, to each of the sabbatical positions. On each First, David Francis - Deputy President that girl your mate pulled last Wednesday piece of paper, which will be colour co- (Education & Welfare) and Returning night. You've even spoken to your depart- ordinated for your benefit, there will be a Officer - introduces the system by mental representatives, as they're likely list of candidates standing for each posi- which you will vote next week. to actually have bumped into some of the tion. There will also be RON (Re-open candidates, at some stage. So now what? nomination). For instance, for the position The posters are up, the manifestoes have Now you have to vote. of President, there will be, in alphabetical been submitted, the candidates have Sounds easy, huh? Sounds like this arti- order, Stuart Davies, Sen Ganesh, Idris been grilled by an over-enthusiastic Felix cle is going to patronise you beyond com- Harding and RON. reporter and paraded in front of a televi- prehension? I wish it was that simple. You will then be required to vote by the sion camera so that the whole JCR can First things first. You vote with a swipe Single Transferable Vote system. In a nut- see what they have to say. You know card. Not a Union card, or an Activities shell, your first choice gets one mil vote, which the departments the candidates card, or a ULU card or indeed a NUS card. and if they don't win, your other prefer- are from, you've heard what they've con- A swipe card. The thing that lets you into ences are reflected. You put a '1' next to tributed towards the union over the last the computer room, but you can never be the candidate you want to win. You put a few years and you've been stunned by bothered to dig it out of your wallet and '2' next to the person you would class as arcane titles for clubs and societies that so there it sits. You also need to be in the your second choice and so on. If you put a you never even knew existed. You've right place at the right time. You cannot '1' next to RON, all other numbers will be nearly sussed the candidates out. vote at any ballot box you turn up at. You ignored. If you only like one candidate, Now you're looking. Looking for reasons must vote in your own department. If you and there are more than 2 candidates either to vote for, or, indeed, like the turn up elsewhere, you will be informed of standing, put "2" next to RON. You see majority of voters, to not vote, for a par- where you should be voting and politely how this is working? Lovely. ticular candidate. You have an impression told to head in that direction. There will So there we go. No ticks, no crosses, no in your mind. You know what they look be no exceptions. ripped ballot papers and no silly pictures like. You know what they sound like. You Once there, between the hours of 10am next to candidate's names. So get out know the rash generalisations you've and 5pm on both Thursday 28th February there and VOTE VOTE VOTE. Ishra!

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Candidate Manifestoes

provisions, both mental and I will remove pointless forms, President physical, and developing their cut the number of administra- provisions for students with tive hoops that club chairs I will start a drive to improve special needs will help to make have to jump through and stop all services for students, a lot of students better off. I debate on the Union constitu- whether they are provided by will work to ensure the reten- tion. I will get people who run 0 the Union or by College. Both tion and quality of all depart- the Union to focus on their jobs catering services need to mental and site libraries. instead of their CV's. improve in quality and reduce Outside College, I will cam- The Union is meant to be an in price. The installation of a paign on student debt, open and democratic organisa- cash machine in the main increase the number of compa- tion, responding to the needs building, the introduction of nies that give student dis- of all students. I will ensure card sales and the increased counts to IC students and con- that it is. After all, if it is not use of the Great Hall for live tinue the attempts to allow the working constantly to improve performances can only Union to issue student LT things for each and every stu- enhance the Union. cards. dent, whatever campus they BAG Investigating College's health I will cut Union bureaucracy. attend, it is not doing its job.

teaching and research. find affordable accommodation. President One of the biggest challenges The Union must continue to pro- facing the Union is how we help vide value-for-money services Changes in government fund- and support students at the and develop long-term plans to ing and the "London Factor" many campuses. I will dedicate meet the needs of the students. have led to increasing pressures greater resources to integrating As President this year, I have for students. My goal is to build the sites, improve communica- gained the experience and on the advice and support serv- tion and ensure that decisions skills necessary to achieve my ices and put student hardship are taken where they are most goals. The Union has achieved a high on the agenda. effective. lot, but there is more to do. We The changes in College struc- I believe the Union must must build on the successes ture have transformed the aca- expand clubs, societies and stu- and improve services. I will demic and administrative dent activities, and support the make sure that the Union con- make-up of College. The Union many volunteers that help the tinues to take the initiative, is has to ensure education Union. Additionally I would accountable to the students it remains a priority and that we ensure the Union plays a represents and provides practi- continue to be a world leader in greater role in helping students cal and tangible benefits for all.

Friday entertainment pro- have an accurate perspective President grammes to compete with other on this problem. ICU needs London unions. Together with presence at the major London I don't want to change the the permanent staff I will campuses as a minimum. structure of the union - too encourage and make it easier I have the experience from much time has been wasted on for students to get involved running last year's summer ball this in recent years. What the with running all union services. to transform how the union runs constitution says has no effect The structures for this already without changing regulations, on what is served in the bars, exist; I don't anticipate any avoiding protracted debate. I how much the shop charges for major policy changes, just a managed to revolutionise the a paper clip or whether the change in emphasis and public- summer ball last year, turning it hockey team wins or loses. ity to put you in control. from a failing institution in dan- The union needs a time of sta- The only structural issue for ger of extinction into an event bility, good management, the union this year is its failure commanding a 20k subsidy focussing on what students to recognise that IC is a multi- from college. As union presi- want. I will concentrate on campus institution. As a medic dent I will endeavor to complete building up the Wednesday and no longer based at South Ken I a similar feat. election manifestoes

Candidate Manifestoes

It is critical for the Union to financial affairs of 30 Societies Deputy President (Fin >r»o« & Services) provide these services in an and organising major events efficient and effective manner. such as International Night. I The Deputy President My main objective as DPFS am a member of the Union Finances and Services (DPFS) would be to provide value for Council, the governing body of is not only responsible for just money to the students that the Union. the Union's money but he or use the services of the Union, I have also been a society she is also responsible for the for increasing the variety of president and last year sat on bars, the Union shops, the drink promotions at the bar the Budget Advisory Group catering and the Union and using debit cards in the (BAG). I have seen how the minibuses. union for food and drink. It is Union is run from various dif- The role of the DPFS effects important for the students to ferent levels. all aspects of student life with- have an input in the way that If elected, I will aim to in the college. This is why I these services are run. improve the standard of the believe that DPFS one of the As the Chair of the Overseas Union's services to meet the most important positions in Students Committee I was needs of the students on all the Union. responsible for managing the sites.

work, the union building needs What makes me suitable for Deputy PresideWflf^Mie * Services) a face lift to remove years of this position is my attitude and dirt & grime and restore the experience. The resources of Justin Rodger - Who is that you building to. its former glory, the union should be efficiently may think? Let me introduce sufficiently so to warrant exte- used and should offer maxi- myself, this year I am standing rior illumination. Provide online mum benefit to greatest num- for DP(F&S). I am a final year minibus booking and guides ber and as DP(F&S) I would physics student, member of for people who run the union. play a major role in this. I've bar staff and a union treasurer. Internally, union resources spent years in the bar on both Why I am standing? Well, in such as room usage should be sides, I've helped run the my opinion it's the best way efficient and encourage sab- finances of clubs as a treasurer anyone could spend a year of baticals to participate in club and union officer and would their university life and I think activities as members. like to take a more active role more people should stand. Concerning current issues, of in union life. Why should you If elected some issues I course I would support the vote for me? Simple, because would like to pursue: student body decision on the you think I would do the best After much construction N.U.S. referendum. job.

reacting to people's difficulties to improve. For example, at the Deputy President (Finance & Services) within the work place; both rec- moment students can provide ommending more training feedback to the union, by filling The union has seen many large where necessary and changing in a form, which is handed to changes this year. I believe that protocols around the office if the bar staff. On several occa- the new exec need to be able to required. I believe that this is sions I have heard people com- spot teething problems in the valuable experience for the plain that either no-one has got > *4 rm new structure, and react to Services part of the role. back to them, or are not happy them before they become large Outside term time, I work for a with what they have heard. I issues. I believe that I am able financial temp agency, which also think that the day-to-day to do this. The DP F&S role is means that I have spent time in role of the sabbaticals is not A split into two parts, and a com- many of the large financial com- very well understood by the petent DP F&S needs to have panies in this country and student body. Several people experience in both those roles. around the world. I believe this that I've spoken to don't know During my year out I worked as is valuable for the post. what a sabb is, let alone what a Team Leader. My team and I If I am elected, then there are their jobs are and how us and were responsible, in part, for several things that I would aim the union benefit from them. manifestoes election ^^15

Candidate Manifestoes

Union and College work, which more art and culture into Felix will help me negotiate the poli- on a regular basis, and I will Felix Edm tics of both, and thus write bet- continue trying to get more stu- It is difficult for me to write a ter news. I understand how to dents from non-central cam- manifesto, since the issues of get more money out of corpo- puses involved in both content Felix that I have edited this year rate advertisers, which means I and news. I also plan to make are far better evidence of how I will be able to lower the cost of the diary larger, as it seems to like to work than anything I can advertising for clubs and soci- be gaining popularity, filling it write here. While I do intend to eties within the Union. with more that is useful, as well make significant changes to the More specifically I intend to as more that is silly. layout and design next year, I expand on the success of Finally, I think that a second think that the experience I have Coffee Break, which seem to be year would allow me to do gained over the last year will the most popular pages, and so things that I have not have had mostly benefit the administra- give yet more room to fun the capacity to do up until now, tion of Felix, which in turn will things to do during lectures. I thus making Felix more enter- benefit the students. I have a want to have a greater connec- taining to read and more fun to good knowledge of how the tion with Phoenix, thus getting write.

heavily involved in several RAG put full, uncut versions of inter- Felix Editor events this year. views, reviews and letters on I will continue to run Felix as the site. Throughout my two years at a newspaper, but I will include I will make Felix more profes- Imperial, I have been a regular more national and international sional, both in appearance and contributor to Felix. This year, I news, and more sport. College as an organization in general. spend 15-20 hours per week news will remain on the front More news and features relat- working as music editor, and I page, and I will extend the pop- ing to Wye, Silwood and the also have overall responsibility ular Coffee Break section. The medic campuses are needed, for the new clubbing section. I diary section will become a use- and I hope to get more students have written and edited various ful guide to the week, featuring from these campuses involved other articles and dealt with detailed listings and previews. with Felix. advertisers. I will put College news on the I am committed, experienced, I present shows on IC Radio Felix website as it breaks, so reliable, well organized and for six hours each week, I am a that you don't have to wait until enthusiastic. Felix is a good member of IC Symphony Friday to find out about impor- newspaper this year, but I will Orchestra and I have also been tant developments. I will also make it better.

instead we have pages of waf- And not just about Imperial Felix Editor fle about nothing. Articles that College - about London, and are as much fun as the lectures life. We'll have an expanded, Youd be forgiven for thinking some people read them in. informative, useful, non-grid- Imperial College is the most Serialised stories that it physi- based diary. More information dull place on Earth. Actually, cally hurts to read. on the huge number of clubs there's a lot of stuff going on - There's plenty going on at and societies at Imperial, spe- and there's a free magazine Imperial, and so much to do in cial events, things happening you can look in to find out London - so why does a flick at the union, and things hap- about it all. That's the theory. through Felix at the moment pening in London. The Felix What went wrong? make me think I'm stuck on a website will also be improved Felix ought to be the face particularly uninteresting and kept up to date. and the voice of Imperial island? I will make Felix more like College. It ought to be some- I will turn Felix into a maga- The Times, Time Out and FHM thing we pick up on a Friday zine you'll actually want to and less like the Silverlmk because it's interesting, enter- read. Articles you'll find inter- Train Timetable (Autumn 1998) taining and relevant. But esting. News you care about. and Littlesby Parish Magazine. election manifestoes

Candidate Manifestoes

'All' aspects of finance, and organ- bers in order to rightly repre- deputy President (Clubs & Societies) isation of a club, as well as sent them at union, college, giving me the opportunity to and university level. The diversity, success, and meet and work with people Being an initial contact continuing growth of IC Clubs from other clubs and societies point for individual enquiries and Societies is testament to at IC and other Universities. I and problems is another how important they are in IC have also participated in sev- important aspect of the job. life. I basically aim to make eral ICU events. My wider I would also like to promote involvement, and running of responsibilities include being inter-campus links, by encour- clubs and societies next year, the ACC Women's Officer, and aging events with club and as easy as possible for all par- being part of the sub-editing society counterparts at South ticipants. team of London Student. Ken, Wye and Silwood. Why me? The DPCS job should be I think Clubs and Societies I am the Club captain, and directed by C & S members are the best bit of IC. As a par- former treasurer of the Ladies themselves. My objectives ticipant, it is in your interests Football Club. This has given would be to get viewpoints to vote and have a say about me an insight into most and feedback from ICU mem- their future!

dents are trapped; dodgy land- they can be made even better. Deputy President (Education & Welfare) lords exploit students year in, Supporting other Academic year out. I would work to intro- Reps: My aim will be to During my time at Imperial, I've duce a system where the increase the visibility of, equip held the positions of year rep, impressed or disgruntled can and support everyone who is department rep and am cur- write about the good and bad there to help you with any aca- rently the academic affairs offi- landlords/properties. Through demic or welfare problem. With cer for RCSU (science subjects), this others will know how best this, everyone should know so I have nearly 3 years experi- to deal with the usual suspects. who can help them and their ence of academic representa- Peer Support: I will work to problems should be dealt with tion here. During this time I get a "buddies" scheme or sim- swiftly. have seen how the representa- ilar, organised by students, run- My door will always be open tion system is plagued by ning in every department. and I will make a real effort to bureaucracy, apathy and little Where schemes already exist I let people know I exist and am communication, this needs to will work with those running there to chat about any problem change! them already and do my best to they may have, and then deal Accomodation: Many stu- support them, and find out how with it.

likewise if you think Sergeant Allen? OK, so we all know that Standing for All Posts Bosco "B.A." Baracus can set she's not a proper A-Team mem- everyone straight as Deputy ber, but then the Felix editor "Ifyc u have a problem, if no one President (Finance and isn't a proper Sabbatical... :an help and if you can find Services). ' If you think The A-Team's election ., maybe you can hire the Lieutenant Templeton "Face" pledges include replacing the mi." Peck is charming enough to fill entire minibus fleet with the at's exactly what RON (Re- the role of DP (Clubs and cool black vans seen in the i Nominations) has done Societies), then vote New series. Secondly, they have year for the New Election Election. And if you think promised to put an end to jaign! So, if you would pre- Captain "Howlin' Mad" Murdoch motorised mascotry. Jez, Bo, 2olonel John "Hannibal" can best represent your educa- Clem and Derrick will be taken Smit r as your President - and tional and welfare needs, New to bits and reassembled to form face it, what better leader Election is the candidate for an awesome fighting machine there been through the you. We need a Felix editor, so that will defend IC.but, just >e of history? - then you what better candidate than the like on TV, you know that no one Id vote New Election. Do newspaper reporter Amy will ever come to any harm. interviews election

Candidate Interviews

stitution and the way we do failed. If other people haven't things. I want people to focus done their jobs, again, the same pres,-( on what they're doing, and thing. Also, if the services Why do you want to be Union What's the best thing about focus on their jobs. haven't been improved one iota, President? the way the Union is being I would have failed also. It's a challenge! I think I have run? Do you think the President the experience as RCSU The permanent staff have a should be a figurehead or an What makes you the strongest President; I've sat on the com- very efficient way of doing administrator? candidate? mittees, I've gone through the things, and services are deliv- Both. It's a necessary figure- My outlook. Because I want to processes, I think I know what ered when they're supposed to. head; it gives the Union some- cut bureaucracy, because I I'm doing. thing to revolve around. want to make things better, I And the worst thing want the services to improve. What experience do you have? The bureaucracy. It's as simple At the end of your year, how I've done it with the RCSU, and As RCSU President, I've pulled as that. would you judge your success? I can do it again. I don't think the RCSU out of the quagmire it If people were still talking about the other candidates have that was in, and I know the Union What would you change? the constitution in twelve drive or that motivation. staff, as well as its structures. I would stop debate on the con- months time, I would have

1 thing you'd like to change? they've been served better by Presidem^ We have a huge number of vol- the Union, then I'll be happy. unteers who run our clubs and In particular, I would like to Why do you want to be Union run? societies, and participate in a help students find accommo- President? It is democratic, and that is lot of our activities, and I want dation after they leave halls, I think this year has been a important, and we still listen to try and ensure that we and I would also like major challenge, especially with to our students. A case in carry on recruiting good quali- improvements to be made in respect to the problems faced point would be the faculties; ty students, train them, and the induction of Freshers. by the advent of faculties, but there were many disagree- put in place a reward system we've also had the opportuni- ments to start off with, but that acknowledges what What makes you the ty to start many new initia- now, after mass consultation, they've done for us. strongest candidate? tives. I now have the skills and we have reached a consensus, I think I have the skills and experience to be able to embodied through the consti- In a year's time, how would experience necessary, I under- realise what has begun. tution passed at the last coun- you judge your success? stand how to do the job, and I cil. If I've accomplished the things intend to apply what I've What's the best thing about I set out to do in my manifesto learnt. the way the Union is being What's the single biggest and if the students feel that

I'd like to include new people, Definitely. It is the figurehead to by getting them to run the serv- the outside world. That's how I Kpfisidenf **» ices. I'm not about re-designing ran the Summer Ball and that's Why do you want to be Union gritty experience administering the Union from the ground up. how I'll run the Union. President? two Summer Balls now, and I've Because I think, with my also been involved on the clubs At the end of your year, how What makes you the strongest breadth of experience of a large and societies side; involved would you judge your suc- candidate? range of different Union activi- mainly with the Medics' drama cess? With the obvious exception of ties over four years, that I'm the society. Turnout in that year's election is the president incumbent, I have best qualified candidate in a very good indicator of how the best idea of how the Union College at the moment. What's the best thing about involved people feel and how runs on a day-to-day basis, but the way the Union is being connected people feel with also over a large amount of What experience do you have? run? what the Union's actually time. With respect to the cur- I've seen the administrative It's not getting worse. doing. rent President, I am still stu- side of the Union by sitting on dent; I go out and hear what Council for a couple of years. What's the single biggest Would you want the President people moan and groan about. I've had real hands on, nitty- thing you'd like to change? to be a figurehead? election interviews

Candidate Interviews

many people carry cash any do you think of this? Deputy President {Finance & Services) more. I'd probably start just One thing I would like to do is to with catering and, if I can, move look at policies so every club Why do you want to do this Also, I've organised two big it to bars. and society are on the same job? events. I've organised "East playing field and get an even I've worked in the Union for two meets West" last year. I was in How would you judge your chance. years now, and I've seen the charge of organising own success at the year's end? Union from so many different International Night this year, so I want to improve on the servic- What makes you the strongest angles. I've worked with all the I was in charge of two big budg- es that we offer. This can only candidate? sabbaticals, and I'll enjoy the ets there and I think that will be done by getting people to Simply because of my experi- job and the challenges. give me an advantage going come in and give their say on ence with the Union. I've been into the job. how the services are provided working closely with the Union What experience do you have? and what they want to see at through the SCC and OSC, I've Last year I was SCC chair, this What's the single biggest the bars and catering. got to know the staff and the year I'm OSC chair. I've worked change? sabbaticals this year. I've got a with the clubs and societies, I would like to introduce debit Some clubs get £50 per head, good understanding of what my I've worked with their finances. cards use at the Union - not while some get only £1. What job would be.

Some clubs get £50 per head, ing they get. Depuf^Pfesident (finance & Services) while some get only £1. Is that fair? What standards would you set Why do you want to do this in the bar so I've had some feed- Some of those clubs who get yourself? job? back on how the bars have more funding can provide I think putting money in to pro- As the current sabbaticals been doing for the past couple broader services like IC Radio mote and encourage students agree, spending a year at the of years. I've also been working and STOIC. They go beyond to use the Union would be end of your degree is a great with the radio station as their their members. great. Improvements in bar tak- way to spend a year. You get to treasurer and Media Group jun- ings and an increase in finance see a whole different side to ior treasurer. But what about, say, gliding or levels are important. College life than you might do underwater clubs? otherwise. What's the worst thing about Those clubs are quite specialist What makes you the strongest the Union? and their members are really candidate? What experience do you have Sometimes people get too enthusiastic about what they I'm in it to provide what I think that qualifies you? involved with Union politics do. I'm a member of Gliding the students want and need I think I spend too much time in and get very pedantic - The Club and clubs like that should from my post. If you agree, you the Union drinking and working Union - it's for students. definitely be allowed the fund- should vote for me.

very few people know about How would you judge suc- Deputy Present fFmknce & Services) them. cess? If people like me, and people Why do you want to do this able, but I've only used them on Do you think the inequality say that I've been a good job? the South Ken campus. between funding for clubs is DP(F&S) then I've done a good I think I can, is the main reason. Although I've been to Wye and fair? job. I suppose I could also say Silwood I haven't investigated It depends on what you mean the profits, but that doesn't What experience do you have? the facilities out there, or at by fair. A sports society will include services and the Union I have very little Union experi- Mary's or Charing Cross. need transport to get to their isn't a profit-making organisa- ence, but I've got plenty of expe- games and I believe that the tion. Profit should be regarded rience in the financial field What's the worst thing? international group have a fairly as a bonus. through working for various The communication. We need to large contingency which they agencies out of term-time. introduce a reliable and well- can turn to. Whereas the sports What makes you the strongest advertised method for the stu- societies need entry fees, kits candidate? What's the best thing about dents to tell us what they want. and so on. I would be interested I would say I am the strongest Union Services? Alright, there are forms avail- in sponsorship for the kit partic- candidate because of the They all seem extremely reli- able, but they break down and ularly. research I've done. interviews election /19

Candidate Interviews

have a feel slightly more like How would you judge your Felix Editor TimeOut. I enjoy, the diary and success? the review sections. I think If people came up to me at the Why do you want to be Felix What's the single biggest other people do too - they read end of next year and said it was Editor again? change you want to make? the second half much more than better than the year before, then I enjoy it. I think, due to the I'd like to make Felix look more the first. I have a duty to the I'd think I had done a good job. experience I've got, that I'll be interesting, and be more inter- people who read it, and as such better than the other candi- esting by giving writers more I want to do whatever people What makes you the strongest dates and that I'll improve Felix. power to do what they want. like. Some people said they candidate? liked the colour front covers last I don't think anyone can appre- What's the best thing about What magazines/newspapers year - from a financial point of ciate how much effort goes into Felix at the moment? would you like Felix to emu- view, that's impossible, but Felix unless they've tried to do it I like the diary, and I like the late? maybe we need to make it feel themselves. I also think that crossword. [Why?] Because the In a perfect world, and if money more like a magazine. If I did Felix should be fun for both the readers like the diary and the were no object, Id like it to look get it again, I'd spend a lot of readers and the people who put crossword and that's my job. like Empire and have the con- next term doing surveys to find it out each week - I'm a club tent of a broadsheet. I want it to out what people want. president as well as an Editor.

going on in College and the pers do you want to emulate? Felix Editor » Union, which is probably the Cambridge Student, which I've mam purpose of Felix. read a lot of - it's fantastic. If we Why do you want to do this I've had in Felix doing music - I can aim for some of the stan- job? think that's quite similar to the So what's the single biggest dards that they set, then that'd First, I think I would enjoy doing job of Editor. I also do quite a lot change you would make? be good. the job. I already enjoy working with IC Radio. I think all of this It's important we include more for Felix - I do lots of work for shows that I work well as part national and international news What makes you the strongest them at the moment as Music of the team. I'm a team player and sport. I also think we need candidate? Editor. The most important rea- and I can get along with people to make more use of the Felix I have two years' experience at son is because I'm certain I very well and motivate them website - we could use it to put Felix. I know quite a lot of the could do a very good job. well too. news up as it happens with things I'd need to know as more detail. Finally I think we Editor. I'll run it more profes- What experiences have you What's the best thing about need to make it more profes- sionally - I'll try to run it proper- had that you think would Felix at the moment? sional. ly. I'm very well organised and make you good at this job? I think I'd probably say the basically I'm certain I can make Obviously the experience that College news. It tells us what's So, what magazines/newspa- Felix a better publication.

What magazines/newspapers include more rather than less of *F*nx Editor 1 would you like to see Felix them but of course students emulate? will very lazily write a lot of Why do you want to be Felix About? What kind of thing? I want to see it more like Time rubbish so I'll have to exercise Editor? News? College? Out, The Times and FHM. some kind of quality control and Because I think I can do it. Things generally about life. just not publish articles that are Last year and previous years How would you judge your just waffle. What experience do you have? there have been articles on own success? I edited my hall magazine last things that were important - Whether people say to me that Why are you the strongest year and I generally do a bit of financial matters, sexual they've enjoyed reading Felix. candidate? writing on websites. health. Those don't get covered Intriguing question. I don't in Felix at the moment as far as How would students get to know what I would say, it So what's the biggest single I'm aware. There aren't enough write for Felix? depends on what the other change you'd like to make? articles that are entertaining. Well, I'd give everyone a chance guys have got really, and I don't I would introduce more articles There's a lot of waffly semi- at least for Felix. I want to wel- know whether they have... it. that are of interest, really. opinionated articles, but noth- come people submitting arti- Just the will to succeed. ing offering a concrete opinion. cles and I would hope to 2QJ election interviews

Candidate Interviews

because they want to, and a lot that need to be taken into >#»a«jty Pre^wMn^MMlT & Societies) of enthusiasm and enjoyment account when comparing clubs, comes with that. the primary one of which is Why do you want to do this understanding of the paper- what is actually being funded. job? work and processes involved. I What's the single biggest thing For instance, the Yacht Club I have been involved with Clubs have also become increasingly that you would change? may require a new boat that and Societies since my first year involved in the Union itself and I really want to increase the may cost several thousand and I think it would be a great feel that the experience I've links between the campuses. I pounds, but without that fund- opportunity to get stuck in, be gained can be of use to others. think there are a lot of people ing, the club couldn't exist. responsible and make a differ- who do similar things at Wye ence. What's the best thing about and Silwood, for example, who What makes you the strongest Clubs and societies at could learn a lot from the clubs candidate? What experience do you have? Imperial? at South Ken, and vice versa. I am interested enough and I'm approachable and a natural For me, I think the best thing is dedicated enough to do the job, problem solver. In particular, I the fact that they exist because What about the differences in and I think I'll do a good job at have been Treasurer of the of volunteers. They're not doing funding between clubs? that! Ladies' Football so have an it because they have to, but There are many considerations

If someone came into your : : jointly how to go about it. I .11 ^mm& j v: ;:;:;:.];.^i IS i Deputy Presidemr(BaMcMion & Welfare) office and makes a homopho- think a lot of people vote for a bic/racist/sexist comment, particular president on that, Why do you want this job? What's the best thing about how would you react? based on their manifesto. I've done a lot of positions in the the Union's Education and I would probably let it pass, education structure and I've Welfare policy? and assess the situation, and How will you judge your suc- often felt that they're under I think the best thing is quite a find out what their problem is. cess? supported. lot of the volunteers who actu- I want people to talk more, and ally do the posts, some of the Do you think that political know who to turn to if they What experience do you have? years... the enthusiasm of the campaigning is part of your need to. I started off as a year rep in the people involved, and I really job? first year, then I was a depart- want to use that. I would see that as something What makes you the best can- ment rep in the second year that falls between my job and didate? and I am currently the And the worst thing? that of the President. I think I'm the only one. I've got experi- Academic Affairs Officer for It's quite bureaucratic, too offi- that if either of us think that it's ence of the academic structure, RCSU cial. an issue, we would discuss it I've been there and I've done together, and then both decide that.

Murdoch can help everyone son or the other because some- Standing for All Posts with their educational and wel- one told them to, or because fare needs. The candidate for nobody else is standing. The RON means Re-Open What experience do the A- the Felix Editor is Amy Allen reason for RON is to make sure Nominations. If RON wins in team have? who is actually a journalist in people are voted in for the right any post, then new candidates Hannibal is a Colonel and what the series, so I'm sure she d fit in reasons. will be requested and another better leader can you think of? fine into that role. Where there's doubt about a election will take place. He'd make a fine President. candidate's ability to do the job I'm sure BA would be a pretty Does RON ever want the elec- it gives a chance for a second Why should we vote RON? scary DP(F&S) and wouldn't let tions to end? try. RON is there for those who feel anyone spend any money that RON wants the elections to con- the real candidates wouldn't do they weren't supposed to. I'm tinue until there's someone suit- Why should I vote for you? a good job. You can ask for new sure Face is charming enough able in each post, rather than Because you might not think people to stand for our post. to help everyone with their the students just thinking that that the candidates are any clubs and societies and they've got to vote for this per- good.

Many thanks to David Roberts for interviewing the candidates and to David Francis for his transcription skillz Union Services Survey imperial Please give us a few moments of your time to help college improve the Union's services, and you could...

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O Fresher's Party O Other Atmosphere ©© © © © ©© Prices ©© © © © @© Last term O Daytime O Evening/Weekend Convenience ©© © © © ©© Staff O Careers Fair O Other ©© © © © @© Food/Snacks ©© © © © ®© O Daytime O Evening/Weekend dB's Bar (to the left of the Union lobby)

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12. Have you bought tickets for club and society events Da Vinci's Bar (to the right of the Union lobby) at the Union office? Atmosphere ©© © © © ©© Prices ©© © © © ©© O Yes O I didn't know I could O I've never wanted any Convenience ©© © © © ©© Staff ©© © © © ©© 13. Where would you go to see a movie? Music ©© © © © @© ©© © © © ©© O Alternative cinema O Union Cinema O Commercial cinema Food/Snacks

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O JCR (Junior Common Room) O MDH (Main Dining Hall) Music ©© © © © @© Food/Snacks ©© © © © ©© O Da Vinci's Cafe O dB's Cafe A club in London. called ... O Departmental canteen/cafe O Outside College Atmosphere ©© © © © ©© ©© © © © O I bring a packed lunch O I don't eat lunch Prices ©© Convenience ©© © © © ©© O SCR (senior Common Room) O Other Music ©© © © © ©© Food/Snacks ©© © © © ©© 15. How much money, on average, do you spend on a A pub in London, called ... night out, including transport? Atmosphere ©© © © © ©© Prices ©© © © © ©© On. a weekend E On a weeknight E Convenience ©© 0 0 © ©© Music ©© © © © ©© Food/Snacks ©© 0 © © ©© reviews music

Clinic Two Day Rule Various Walking With Thee When You're Ready FabricLive 02

Out this Monday on Domino records Out this Monday on Sugarshack records Out now on Fabric records

The career of this Liverpudlian four- Two Day Rule are a feisty Bristolian boy- Dance compilations are always difficult piece, formed in 1997, has developed girl punk combo. Comprising of Neil things to judge, since they are often as strangely. Having released arguably their Murray (lead vocals/guitar), Andrea much about record label politics as about best material on a series of early EPs, Kenny, (who vies with Murray for top the music. With this is mind, FabricLive acquired a good live reputation and fall- billing), Craig Smith (bass) and Matt 02, mixed by Ali B (pic above), promises en out with their fan base for re-releasing Woolman (drums), they've built up a to be a true reflection of a FabricLive set, The Second Line to coincide with a Levi's small racket of enthusiasm for their rather than a load of "anthems" lumped advertisement, Clinic have not always accomplished punk sensibilities and together in one convenient package. been successful or widely accepted. This crazy live sets. So, how does it compare? Purists will album forces me to ask questions and Their debut album begins with the argue that FabricLive 02 lacks the rough leaves me confused. mildly likeable Odds and Ends and No edges of a live set - that it is too polished. Opening with the subdued and sombre Doubt, which have me merely nodding They may even argue that it misses out Harmony, the Clinic boys offer up a dark with appreciation and do not bode on the whole atmosphere of Fabric itself. electro-seance. Welcome is a drone- extremely well for the rest of the songs. That aside, the album delivers a great based psychobilly number, where Clinic Eager anticipation leads me to the recent selection of professionally mixed tracks, live up to all those Velvet Underground single Had A Good Thing, which is put together into a structured set that references. Nonetheless, the track almost indescribable despite being an takes you from a quirky and comparitive- becomes prophetically ironic as Ade impressive track. It's acerbic lyrics, such ly subdued start to a bass-heavy climax. Blackburn remarks "How could you disin- as "I want to get into your pants", stand It does exactly what you'd want it to do. tegrate form?" just as it becomes appar- out from the wall of sound. Space is more Essentially, the key to success for this ent that the album itself lacks structure reflective, with a thrashier feel. The cym- CD will lie in its track list. lis' The Next and direction. bal and maracas provide an interesting Level, currently providing the soundtrack Title track and forthcoming single background for the centrepiece to a major advertising campaign, is sure Walking With Thee (aka Nuns) is evi- Andrea's vocals. to generate interest in FabricLive 02. dently the most effective song, with its The bluesy jazz-funk fusion on Johnny To most people, the fact that the album fairground swirl and monkey organ grind And Loretta is the first real sign of origi- was mixed by FabricLive resident All B providing a fitting backdrop for a defiant nality. This track is the clear winner on won't mean a thing. But only someone vocal. However, this becomes the pivotal an album packed with peaks and who truly understands the FabricLive point of the album - afterwards, deja vu troughs. Better Off Now is a sixties-style experience can convey that sublime mix sets in and it all goes downhill. number with more of the jazz and less of of bass and beats to an audience who Walking With Thee leaves me with a the funk. The juxtaposition of this with may not yet have experienced it. strange taste in my mouth. Is there any- the trashier I'll Be Just Fine, reminiscent Apart from turning off your lights and thing particularly good here? The band of Bis in their heyday, works well. filling your bedroom with a hundred peo- have tried to progress - the album has a Highlight number two is Sympathetic, ple and vast quantities of smoke, this is distinctly developed cabaret feel, for full of guitar noodling and the vocal spir- about as close as you can get to example - but instead of moving forward, it of Blink 182's Tom De Longe - pop-punk FabricLive without actually being there. they have only stepped sideways. Clinic at it's very best. The excellent eighties burned with vitality and urgency once, pastiche Too Good To Be True rounds off Patrick making this album even more disap- a real album of two halves - the second pointing and hard to bear. by far outshining the first. For a chance to win a copy of FabricLive 02, turn to page 25. Chris Sajini music reviews

INTERVIEW with Vex Red

Felix probed the minds of angsty indie-metallers Vex Red on their dimly-lit, slightly dingy tour bus, somewhere in Wl. [See right for a review of their latest single Can't Smile.]

FELIX: So what bands do you think are good at the moment then? NICK: Well, we saw a band supporting The Cooper Temple Clause the other day in Portsmouth - Biffy Clyro, or something? You know, I haven't been to a gig where I've been blown away by a band in ages, and then suddenly there's this band, and they come on, and they start with the quietest kind of music and then launch into the heaviest kind of music and I was blown away. They were wicked. KEITH: Yeah, I think I read on a website we're playing with LIVE: Delta + Kidd Dynamo them... You read about yourselves on a website? Which one of you + Serafin @ The Monarch posts as Vex Red on the official noticeboard? KEITH: Normally me. This evening was a showcase for some of the new talent trying Aren't there about three girls who post repeatedly on there? to find their way into the music business. KEITH: Yeah, I'll put a message up, and half an hour later there'll First up were Serafin (pic above), a four-piece from London be thirty messages and they're all from the same girls. Spencer, who certainly rocked the venue. They went absolutely mad on the guy who does the website, made himself this hoodie that stage, despite seeming nervous at first, and played all-out, get- said "Vex Red Webmaster" on it. ting the crowd's feet tapping almost immediately. NICK: Yeah, he wore it at a gig, and he was like, "I'm famous for Serafin flit between dark, melancholy rock (Day By Day) and fifteen minutes!" quiet, melodic musings (Ordinarily Me) without a flinch. Their Which festivals are you playing this year? very special brand of indie-rock is bound to take them a long NICK: Apparently we've got Glastonbury. Apparently. And way - here's hoping they get snapped up quickly and make the probably Reading and Leeds as well. big time. Have you got a favourite? NICK and KEITH (together): Glasto, definitely. What's the best set you've seen there? NICK: Um, I don't think we see many bands when we go - we Next on stage were Kidd Dynamo, from Belfast, looking quite get caned in our tents and can't move. intimidated by the size of the crowd. "This is our first gig in Can you tell us about the album? London" admitted lead man Colin, before the band launched KEITH: It's fairly eclectic. If you've only heard the singles, it'll be into some of the best emo I've heard in a long time. a bit of a surprise. Kidd Dynamo's aim should be to retain the naive charm that NICK: It's definitely a mix - there are a lot of quiet songs on so many new bands lose after working hard to make it big. there as well. Someone described us as the "Spiritualized of nu- Their lyrics, together with Colin's sweeter-than-sugar voice and metal", which was quite cool. the ringing, beautifully harmonised guitars make Kidd Dynamo KEITH: Yeah, and I read that Terry looks like Daniel Johns out of something very special to look out for in the near future. Silverchair - he's got the same hair and piercings and every- thing. But if you say that to Terry, he'll say he had them first. Maybe Daniel Johns bases himself on Terry. So, tell us about the pot plant episode. Delta were the headline act, and by this time we were expect- NICK: Oh yeah, everyone knows about that! Ant nearly got ing great things, considering how good their support had been. arrested! The tour bus broke down and we had to go to a bus Unfortunately, we were disappointed. depot to get it fixed. Ant stole this pot plant and he named it Their better tracks were medium to good, but their worse Frank. It was about three feet high, and we just had it on the tracks were just not worth listening to. They were everything bus. We got to customs and they wouldn't let us through. They that was bad about mid-nineties britpop, mixed with some of wouldn't tell us why, and then suddenly about six police cars the subtle, smooth melodies of today's indie revolution. drove up and surrounded the bus, and they were like, "we The disappointment of the crowd was reflected by the num- believe you have something that doesn't belong to you on the ber of people who vacated the room in favour of mingling with bus". Ant was really good about it and gave it back, but I still the two support acts downstairs in the bar. can't believe they called the police about a pot plant.

Jess Sajini reviews music

OUT THIS WEEK

The following are due for release on Monday 25 February: ALBUMS CLINIC - Walking With Thee JEWEL - This Way MONTELL JORDAN - Montell Jordan TWO DAY RULE - When You're Ready SINGLES BRANCACCIO & AISHER - It's Gonna Be (A Lovely Day) CAPITOL K - Pillow TETRA SPLENDOUR - Pollen Fever ...and also the Hefner, Simian, White Stripes, Gorillaz and Miss Black America singles (all reviewed below)

WHITE STRIPES - Fell In Love With A Girl Singles What energy! This is definitive rock music. In less than two minutes, Meg and Jack White deliver a powerful song without Roundup superficial production, and the result is really exciting. The two other tracks on the CD are just as dynamic and energetic as the VEX RED - Can't Smile first. This is bound to be successful. With more angst and passion than a fourteen-year-old's diary, Can't Smile is the mind-blowingly wonderful new single from aaaa Frangois Vex Red (pic above). The combination of a throbbing bass line, a snappy but memorably dark guitar riff and Terry's melancholy GORILLAZ - Tomorrow Comes Today lilt makes this single well worth having. So the album's customary slow track finally gets released as a single. Tomorrow Comes Today is a chilled out song with a BflBBB Jess cool harmonica bit, but it feels a little too much like Blur. Not that there's anything wrong with Blur - I just expected more. HEFNER - The Hefner Brain There's nothing special here, although there's nothing dire Another quirky mixture of drum machines, modules and indie either. It might grow on me, but Damon's moaning voice will crooning is coming your way, and if you like Hefner already, probably just piss me off. then you know exactly what to expect. Worryingly though, most of the tracks sound uncannily like theme tunes from kids' TV BBQOO Oscar programmes. I think the makers of Fireman Sam should sue. MISS BLACK AMERICA - Infinite Chinese Box BBOQD Derek Systematic guitars, dynamic power chords and block rocking beats begin your ten minute affair with the indescribably allur- SIMIAN - Mr Crow ing, truly seductive Infinite Chinese Box. "Short but sweet" is a Simian, who released their excellent first LP Chemistry Is good description for one of the best singles of the year so far. What We Are last year, bring us more of their psychedelic pop The B-sides are equally promising. The tale of the dysfunction- experiments. The two incarnations of Mr Crow - radio edit and al, self-destructing relationship has rarely been so eloquently album version - are both very catchy. Then, on the five other expressed via musica than on Scarface, and the bluesy, expres- tracks, all previously unreleased, Simian's exciting brainwaves sive Pub Rock Coma features punk sounds reminiscent of are particularly interesting as their sweet melodies contrast Jimmy Eat World and vocals in the style of Hundred Reasons. with a background of electronica. On the whole, they produce a unique, innovative sound. BBBBO Sajini aaaao TELEPOPMUSIK - Breathe Frangois Squeaky electronic beats backed with inoffensive sonar COMPETITION swirls. That's probably the most tactful way to describe this This week, we're giving away a copy of the highly recom- attractively packaged single. Even the randomly scattered mended compilation album FabricLive 02, mixed by Ali B (see lyrics are unsalvageable, unimaginative drivel. You can't dance review, page 23). to this - the best that one can muster is a slight nod of the head QUESTION: Name the two resident DJs at FabricLive. in time. But it isn't chilling music either, as the dithery beat Email your answer, along with your name, year and depart- becomes more and more irritating as you listen. ment, to [email protected] by Thursday 28 February. BOOOD Sajini 26 film review

Editorial Oscar Nominations for the "Lord Of The Macarena" 74th Academy Awards 2001

The first editorial of term and my excuse is that I saw The It takes twelve people twenty hours to make each of them and Fellowship Of The Chicken Wing last week. The acting is defi- on 24th March they will be handed out to this year's most high- nitely not up to scratch, but really, who cares. The scenery, the ly-regarded achievers in Hollywood. monsters, the special-effects. One of the greatest action movies The Oscars initially derived their name when Academy librar- ever made and if you have not seen it, then see it, because it is ian, Margaret Herrick, claimed that the statuettes looked like worth a butcher's on the big screen. her uncle, Oscar. How she came to this conclusion is still a mys- The two sequels, The Return Of Burger King and The Two tery, since the statuette has no facial features, except for a nose. Zingers, will fail in having the same impact as the Fellowship. Margaret Herrick. What a muppet. The Fellowship has set the landmark and I think there will This year everyone is looking to the Fellowship Of The Ring to inevitably be a backlash from the critics. In any case, I cannot storm the show with its 13 nominations. Its rivals include A wait to see the next one. Beautiful Mind (8 nominations), Gosford Park (6 nominations), One aspect of the Lord Of The Chicken Wings I find fascinat- and Amelie (5 nominations). If I was a betting man (which I am) ing is the way political forces have tried to extract their ideolo- I would put my house (or my parents' house) on the Fellowship gy from it. I read earlier this week that the book is held in enor- to take this year's Oscars to the proverbial cleaners. mous esteem by Italian fascists, for instance. Apparently, no So what else should we look out for? Best supporting self-respecting fascist's library is complete without a copy of actor/actress? No. They've already lost out to the best Mein Kampf alongside The Lord Of The Chicken Wings. Then I actor/actress by default. Never got the point of that award. read that leftist hippies in the 1960s saw it as an essential part What we should look out for is Willard Smith's nomination for of their reading. But that many people see it as a metaphor for Ali. It was a great performance and I think he is clear favourite. the allied victory in World War II. So what do we read into it? Is Also look out'for the British interest. There are about a half it just 'entertainment'? The values represented in movies have dozen nominations for Brits, although they are not famous shaped our own personal morality for decades. They affect the enough for us to know precisely which ones they are. way we see the world. Should we care? Perhaps. The Oscar ceremony represents the American movie industry More importantly, I was down the Union for Cheesy Wotsits giving itself a huge self-congratulatory pat on the back. This last week when the crap DJ decides to play Macarena. Then, to year with movies like Ali, Memento, and the Fellowship Of The my horror, several people actually started 'doing the Macarena'. Rings, I think it has just about deserved it. Some interesting Now at some point they had to learn how to do the dance - and Oscar facts: that's what I'm worried about. Did they have Macarena les- Walt Disney holds the record for the most individual nomina- sons? How did they learn it so well, that by the time they were tions and awards: 64 nominations and 26 awards geschloshed, in the Union, at lam in the morning, they could Only two women have ever been nominated for directing: Jane 'go through the motions', so precisely? So much effort, just to Campion in 1993 for The Piano, and Lina Wertmuller in 1976 look like a twit? for Seven Beauties One final rant. The JCR shop. I happened to be in there the The Academy is made up of about 5,700 voting members. They other day when the manager turns up, dappered up like a King. all vote to determine the final winners Armani suit, gold cuff-links, flashy watch, the works. Why? The 1928 Oscars took fifteen minutes to hand out the awards. Because IC students are still willing to spend money in that rip- The 2000 Oscars took 249 minutes. Legendary presenter Bob off merchant. Fair enough, sit down in the JCR if you want, but Hope once said that the Oscars were 2hrs worth of entertain- don't encourage them by spending money in the shop. ment crammed into four hours. Darius interview film

Best foreign language film of the year * AMELIE France ELLING A Norway LAGAAN India NO MAN'S LAND Bosnia & Herzegovina SON OF THE BRIDE Argentina

Best Original Screenplay AMELIE Guillaume Laurant and Jean-Pierre Jeunet *GOSFORD PARK Julian Fellowes MEMENTO Christopher Nolan MONSTER'S BALL Milo Addica & Will Rokos THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS Wes Anderson & Owen Wilson

Achievement in cinematography AMELIE Bruno Delbonnel Performance by an actor in a leading role BLACK HAWK DOWN Slawomir Idziak Russell Crowe in "A Beautiful Mind" *THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING Andrew Lesnie Sean Penn in "I Am Sam" THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE Roger Deakins *Willard Smith in "Ali" MOULIN ROUGE Donald M. McAlpine Denzel Washington in "Training Day" Tom Wilkinson in "In the Bedroom" Best Original Musical Score A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE John Williams Performance by an actor in a supporting role A BEAUTIFUL MIND James Horner Jim Broadbent in "Iris" HARRY POTTER John Williams Ethan Hawke in "Training Day" *THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING Howard Shore Ben Kingsley in "Sexy Beast" MONSTERS, INC. Randy Newman Ian McKellen in "The Fellowship of the Ring" *Jon Voight in "Ali" Achievement in film editing A BEAUTIFUL MIND Mike Hill and Dan Hanley Performance by an actress in a leading role BLACK HAWK DOWN Pietro Scalia Halle Berry in "Monster's Ball" THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING John Gilbert *Judi Dench in "Iris" MEMENTO Dody Dorn Nicole Kidman in "Moulin Rouge" *MOULIN ROUGE Jill Bilcock Sissy Spacek in "In the Bedroom" Renee Zellweger in "Bridget Jones's Diary" Achievement in visual effects A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE Performance by an actress in a supporting role *THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING "Jennifer Connelly in "A Beautiful Mind" PEARL HARBOR Helen Mirren in "Gosford Park" Maggie Smith in "Gosford Park" * Felix On Film prediction Marisa Tomei in "In the Bedroom" Kate Wmslet in "Iris" Felix On Film Competition Achievement in directing When a routine drug deal goes bad. Clayton Pierce, anti-ter- A BEAUTIFUL MIND Ron Howard rorist agent, working undercover, finds out that the deal is BLACK HAWK DOWN Ridley Scott actually... a nuclear bomb. GOSFORD PARK Robert Altman Starring William McNamara, Roy Scheider, and Dina Meyer. *THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING Peter Jackson (pictured) In a world where the truth is power. And power is the truth. All MULHOLLAND DRIVE David Lynch it takes... is a lapse in time. Time Lapse is a straight-to-video B-movie, which you have another chance to win. It is very, very Best motion picture of the year good. We have Time Lapse on Video and DVD to give away. A BEAUTIFUL MIND Just answer the following question: GOSFORD PARK IN THE BEDROOM What year did the first Oscar awards ceremony take place? *THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING a) 1928 b) 1924 c)1910 MOULIN ROUGE Answers to: [email protected] coffee break

Crossword by Mummy Huffwell

4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 1. 2. 3. Across Down 1. She alone sounds like 1. Listen, talk, gossip. (7) an imp's death car. (7) 2. Right level reserves for 9. 10. 11. 5. Chinese et ring wrong Jamaican guy. (5) number. (7) 3. Avoiding museum 9. A British painter does- caught in bent sieve.

12. 13. n't vote.(9) (7) 11. Charge man with 4. Amazingly drink felix spots. (5) stupid, stupid. (13) 12. Animates backwards 6. Disaster stormed over 14. removing drug junction fronts. (7) endurance. (7) 7. Criminals cause great 13. Hat has four points too worry to queens. (9) 15. 16. 17. 18. much, bizarrely (7) 8. Royal duck damages 14. Aluminium yitrium rats. (7) sulphur, in the living, 10. Mixed currants are at

19. 20. 21. tests for alcohol. (13) food wagon. (10, 3) 15. Nice cops drool about 14. Skilled speaker bill in crime scene barriers Universal silver mud- (6, 7) dle. (9) 22. 23. 19. Southern peacekeep- 15. Spot beat mixed with ers followed by laid underground drink. (7) back timekeeper. (3,4) 16. Weeper swallows 24. 25. 20. Not any one in lands. odds, it's more (7) crunchy. (7) Hey there packers. Another crossword from the delightful Mummy 22. Take over America, 17. Utopia testicles con- Huffwell for you to peruse over this week, I hope it is to your taste. you are soft! (5) tain drugs. (7) Cyclops and I are getting very excited because soon we'll be able to go 23. Sailor may snatch 18. Mess up penny, the and spend copious amounts of College money on coffee break prizes for awkwardly. (9) queen, angela and you crazy kids. As you may already know, we'll be giving away a PS2 for 24. Environmentally elizabeth. (7) the winner of the crossword, and who knows what for the winner of the friendly Los Angeles is 21. Buckingham palace. mighty GFQQ. The crossword prize draw will take place on the last out to get bigger. (7) D'oh! (5) week of the spring term and I'll announce the winner of the PS2 in the 25. Substitute is about to first edition of next term. We thought it was fairer to end the competi- start tennis. (7) tions at Easter, as people come back at different times in the summer. The winner of this week's crossword is Adrian Rogers, JMC3. This Answer to 1228 - Across: Sleeper, Stunner, Daredevil, young web-wizard e-mailed his answers to [email protected], as you Edwin, Sprog, Retaliate, Supreme, Suckers, Blossom, are all welcome to do; or just fold your grid into a paper airplane and fly Elastic, Vengeance, Pupil, Rests, Irregular, Assumed, it on down to the Felix office in the west basement of Beit quad. Wrestle. Well that's all for another week, keep those crosswords coming in and Down: Sadists, Error, Pedigrees, Reverse, Salutes, keep reaching for that rainbow! Ureal, Newsagent, Ringers, Prognosis, Champagne, Dr. Hot Fudge Bavaria, Mankind, Eyebrow, Calorie, Epsom, Pilot. break coffee

GFQQ - The Great Felix Quote Quiz by Bobby Cyclops & Dr. Hot Fudge

1. "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" Number of players: 65 The Leader Board - top 15 Name Score 2. "A wink from a pretty girl at a party results rarely in climax, Daniel Sauder 120.5 Karl. But a man is a fool not to push a suggestion as far as it Christopher Dent 118 will go." Chris Ince 117.5 Anthony Rodriques 116 3. "Hmmm. Much anger in him, like his father." Simon North 114 Andrew Ince 113.5 John Anderson 112 4. "Do you think he's a saint or something? Because of the way he Michael Simonds 89.5 looks? 1 don't think he is." Fred Marquis 85.5 Chris Toffis 71 5. "I was hired to kill you. But I'm not going to. It's either because Rebekah Hymas 62.5 Arosha Bandara 61 I'm in love with your daughter or I have a newfound respect for Gregory Mann 59.5 life." Geoff Lay 58 Kim Randell 58 6. "It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, Answers to [email protected] or to the Felix Office - West Wing Basement, ever, until you are dead!" Beit Quad.

Answers to last week's quotes 1. Morpheus/Laurence Fishburne - The Matrix Do you... 2. Number Johnny' 5/Tim Blaney (voice) - Short Circuit 3. Pvt. Jim Paxton/Matthew Davis - Tigerland 4. Rick Blaine/Humphrey Bogart - Casablanca ...enjoy writing? ...care about the 5. Winston Wolf/Harvey Keitel - Pulp Fiction impact of science and technology 6. Lucus Jackson/Paul Newman - Cool Hand Luke on the way we live? ...want to 7. Ruby Rhod/Chris Tucker - The Fifth Element publish your ideas? GFQQ Prize Update! Time to talk prizes, and we need your feedback. Fudge and I have Then why not take part in foolishly been given £300 to give away, but we want to know what you want. For example, you could have a DVD player with a selec- WRITING THE FUTURE tion of DVDs, or a really good DVD player with no DVDs, or maybe an X-Box, or a PS2 with games, or just £300 worth of vouchers - the choice is yours! So with your answers this week could you put a A new writing challenge for UG note saying what sort of prize you would like, then Fudge and I will and PG students at Imperial put the wheels in motion - only a few weeks left! College Now for a joke: I was driving to work the other day when the boss rang and said: "You've been promoted." I was so shocked I swerved, narrowly Watch for details in your department or avoiding a small dog. Later on there was another call - the boss: school "Well done - I'm promoting you again." Startled, I swerved, this Challenge starts early February time having a lucky escape with a Granny. When I was nearly at work the phone rang once more - the boss! "Congratulations, you're Finalists to be chosen from each department/school. Medals for now a chief executive!." This was all too much for me... I lost con- departmental winners. College Editorial Panel selects papers for trol and went straight into a wall - a write-off. When I finally got to publication. Editor: Ann Shearer, RLF Writing Fellow work, the boss demanded why I was late. My reply: "I careered of the road". Bobby Cyclops Friday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 22nd union 26th SB: play Winner of the 1995 Glastonbury Festival New UNION Act Competition, comic Tony Law has firmly established himself as a regular stand- ^union up on the UK circuit. QUIZ dis: play M MP- Tony KARMA NIGHT IN m MILL OVT IN sponsored by m m to cool wnv* , _ Law WKD Joke Competition

8pm-2am Purchase advance tickets £2.00 In Fancy Dress/ 8pm-2am from the Union Reception £2.50 Guests & Others £1 Union/£1.50 Guests Doors 7:30pm 50p from each entry donated to RAG Prizes: £50 & beer Late Night Hot Food £3 Union/£3.50 Guests Friday Night Out Supported by 8:30pm/FREE@the union l>* Vine*'* Friday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 1st 5th 7th UNION vj* Aunjon QUIZ display NIGHT Pisco sponsored by They're union . * *i play playing our song

8pm-2am 9 £1 Union/£1.50 Guests 8pm-11pm £1.50 Union/£2 Guests Prizes: £50 & beer Late Night Hot Food FREE@the union || Friday Night Out ^^^g " Supported by 8:30pm/FREE@the union KP Hte(M PA Vinci'* &a V«W* imperial

Union Building college Beit Quad R.O.A.R. Open noon-11pm Saturdays and noon-10:30pm Sundays club active

War On Water

Last year at Henley, what was endurance phase of our train- the resultant clash much worse four of the Olympic gold medal- effectively Imperial College's ing and only moved into eights off than them, losing our lead. lists we had last year, and third eight drew Isis (Oxford's last Tuesday. We should really have stopped Oxford we again had high second eight) in the first round The first race of the day was at this point and requested a hopes of victory. Once again of the Temple. The race was between Isis and IC II. Despite restart as our rhythm had been we were much quicker off the expected to be a complete our complete lack of condition- unsettled, and Isis began to start and built up a lead, only walkover for Isis, but in fact it ing for a high rate blast, row through us, taking advan- to have this eroded as their was very close, with our crew Imperial College II were tage of the umpire allowing cohesion and conditioning leading for three-quarters of extremely quick off the start, them to keep us out of the meant that they were able to the race, only losing in the rating 48 for the first few stream. The final result: They keep at a higher rate, rowing dying stages. We also usually strokes and staying well above won by a length. through the crew to win both race either Oxford or 40 for the first two minutes. This pattern was repeated in pieces narrowly. Cambridge about a week This obviously unsettled Isis the second piece, with us Despite losing, both crews before to head off the river race. and we moved out to a three- again leading them off the gained experience from the Last year Queen's Tower I beat quarters of a length lead, and start, not quite being able to racing and we know that in Cambridge and IC I beat stretched this so that only the break clear and then clashing, March we will be much quick- Goldie (Cambridge's second canvasses were overlapping. disrupting our pattern. In addi- er. This weekend sees the boat). At the weekend we were We needed a big push to break tion the bend was in their entire squad racing at the asked by Oxford to race their clear at this point but the Isis favour so they came through to Head of the Trent in newly announced crews on the cox steered across into us, win by half a length. Nottingham, an event we are Tideway. This is obviously ignoring the somewhat weak In the big race between treating as training m prepara- much earlier than usual; conse- commands from the umpire (an Imperial College I, a very tion for the Eights Head of the quently we are still in the Oxford coach). We came out of newly formed crew lacking River on the 23rd of March.

Wednesdays Ik Fridays Hot Shots imperial * college On Saturday 9th February the arrive and shot third after Phil union first inter-collegiate rifle 'Where's My Bolt?' Golds. Ben BARS match for many years took was last on the firing point place at the Stock Exchange and like most of the shooters Rifle Club (SERC). Teams from that day shot slightly below Kings College, Imperial par. Indeed, throughout the College and the rest of the day there was an unbeliev- University of London Colleges able amount of cross-shooting competed over a course of two and double firing; Phil being 10-bull targets. The one IC the only culprit from IC. The team that completed was final results were close, but Bcir now open ol 5pm composed of Ben Chowdhary, the ULU A Team just beat the Andrew Eldridge, Phil Golds IC Team scoring 768 (ex. 800) and finally Tim Aplin, who to IC's 760. Third were Kings' UUednesday was taking part in his first A Team with 751, fourth ULU match for IC. The journey to B Team with 703 and fifth £1 a pint the SERC was very scenic, were Kings' B Team with 657. since we unintentionally Well done to everyone who (& sing your hearts out) passed by many of the tourist shot, we'll get them next time! attractions in Central London. For anyone who wants to give At the SERC we quickly got shooting a try, the Rifle and our rifles and equipment set Pistol Club meets every Fridays chilled sounds up, and then waited for Wednesday and Saturday at Andrew to arrive. Tim was 12:30 in the Rifle Range, which 5-9pm first to shoot and did well con- can be found in the Sports sidering this was his first Centre on Prince's Gardens. & loads more seating match. Andrew did eventually Ben Chowclhary club active

Football Cup Hype

LSE 6ths: 2 IC 6ths: 3 however was a little different, whose incisive pass released reunited at the back covered he booked Seb, our keeper, for Chris to shoot across the keep- everything. A hopeful long ball The day began well, crisp marking the six yard box (offi- er and through the legs of from Rob lead to a silly foul on spring sunshine streaming in cial FA rules do not list it as a Anand (offside but he realised Chris about 30 yards out. There through a gap in the curtains, a bookable offence) although he and let it go). Goal! A rather was only one man who was clear blue sky. The biggest day was fully justified in warning narked LSE team restarted going to take it. Gaetan thus far in my footballing Mike immediately afterwards quickly and their striker fin- stepped up and with one career was a tough semi-final for telling everyone that "the ref ished a goal easily, all square swoosh of his magical left foot away to fourth placed LSE hasn't got a clue." Still, no mat- again. Not to be put off, we stuck it into the top corner. We 6ths, a team that had compre- ter. The first half was tight - came back at them controlling went mental. This time the hensively beaten us 6-2 in the they had a couple of half the game, several chances fell defence was resolute, nothing league. The preparations had chances and Dave and Luis to our attack but nothing came shall pass. A superb final 10 begun the night before, a car- went close for us. A construc- of them, the clock ticked by, minutes of blocks, tackles, bohydrate-full pasta meal and tive teamtalk and feedback then out of nothing Chris beat clearances and timely intercep- only 4 pints of Guinness, taking from our supporter Neem con- their defence and Goal! After tions by the whole team (Doug it easy. Arriving in the quad firmed that we were playing four minutes of panicky heading off the line) means and catching the train to well. defending LSE were stupidly that for the first time in their Berrylands was quieter than The second half commenced allowed back, a long ball found history the Imperial College usual, the customery bickering with IC dominating, Dan and their striker who finished neat- 6th team are off to Motspur and banter reduced to a mini- Doug ruling the midfield with ly. Was this destined to go to Park on the 9th of March for the mum as everyone concentrated Swiss efficiency and an iron extra time? Not if we had any- cup final. An amazing team on the task in hand. belly. Then it came, Dave thing to do with it. IC again effort, everyone playing out of The game kicked off on time chased a lost cause and aero- pushed everything into attack, their skin, 100% concentration and we saw the teams were batically managed to keep it occasionally leaving us a little and desire, who says you can't equally matched. The referee on, the ball falling to Doug exposed but Mike and Alex always get what you want?

Live sport Yacht Club on the BIG SCREEN 12 Saturday 23rd Feb. Last Friday eight yacht club under blue skies we arrived in members squeezed them- Yarmouth just after dark and Man United v Aston Villa 12pm selves and all their kit into two headed straight for the show- very small cars and set off to ers and the bar. Several hours Scottish FA cup 5th Rnd Portsmouth for a weekend of later the trip back to the boat Teams (tbc) 5.35pm cruising. Once we had arrived via dinghy was a little more in Port Solent Marina and challenging and one person found the boat we paid a visit luckily escaped a swim thanks to the bar for some food, a few to his rucksack! Sunday 24th Feb. drinks and to discuss the plans Sunday was even calmer Sunderland v Newcastle 1pm for the weekend. than the previous day and after League cup final 3pm When we got up on Saturday a morning of sailing very slow- morning there was little wind ly up the Solent we had no Blackburn v Spurs but not a cloud in the sky and choice but to motor the rest of we set off early to make the the way. Having stopped for Wednesday 27th Feb. most of the day. Our original lunch at Wootton Creek we plan was to sail round the Isle motored back to Portsmouth to Arsenal v B. Leverkusen 7.45pm of Wight clockwise but it was hand back the boat. quickly obvious that we would If anyone is interested in not have enough wind to do finding out more, our meetings Thursday 28th Feb. this. Instead we sailed the are at 6pm on Mondays in other way to Yarmouth, on the Southside, or have a look at the Leeds v PSV Eindhoven 8pm northeast side of the island. website on: ' imperial college After a perfect day sailing www.su.ic.ac.uk/yacht Ground floor, Beit Quad union Prince Consort Road BARS