Contested Belonging: East Timorese Youth in the Diaspora Fiona Lindsay Crockford December 2007 A thesis submitted for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy of The Australian National University. I certify that the substance of this thesis has not already been submitted for any degree and is not currently being submitted for any other degree or qualification. This work is my own unless otherwise stated. All photographs were taken by the author, except those attributed to Toby Hiscox and Steve Cox. Fiona Crockford. ii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS About three months into the fieldwork, I got nervous about whether I had bitten off more than I could chew in taking on multi-sited research in such an intensely absorbing, but highly challenging field. I dreamt I was among a large group of people being led, by Sister Kath O‟Connor (of the Josephite Sisters in Sydney), to the top of a high tower where people were leaping off in front of a massive crowd below. But as we were ascending, a madman started up the stairs behind us and I had to wrestle with him while everyone else escaped. I emailed Sister Kath immediately to ask what it meant. She suggested it might represent my struggle with the fieldwork: that I wanted to throw myself into it but the madness of taking on such a task was taking all my energy. Ask yourself, she said, what part of yourself the madman and I represent and why you‟re struggling with the madman. I did and have kept on asking that same question ever since. This research is the result of a long and often difficult journey of incredible highs and lows, including a bleak and protracted period of very poor health when I thought I would have to abandon my studies altogether. That I did not is due to the support and friendship of many good people and the hopeless passion I had developed for East Timor. I am grateful to the Australian National University for offering me an Australian Post Graduate Research Award in 1997 and providing the fieldwork grant that got me started. I thank the members of the Department of Archaeology and Anthropology for support and advice, especially the members of my academic panel, Dr Christine Helliwell, who put up with me and the madman and didn‟t lose faith and Dr José Ramos-Horta, who gave my project the JRH stamp of approval. Thanks also to Patrick Guinness (the rock of A.D. Hope) and to all the admin staff, especially to Liz Walters and Sue Fraser for cheering me on. I am also deeply grateful to the Clark family for the inaugural residential scholarship at Manning Clark House in 2001-2002 and for the spectacular view from Manning‟s study. My special thanks to Sebastian Clark and MCH Director Penny Ramsay who were champions from start to finish. My profound appreciation to everyone at ETRA for generosity, comradeship and for making it all happen: Agio Pereira for being a good friend and mentor; Ines de Almeida and Ceu Brites for being strong, inspiring women; Abel Guterres for always making the time; Sombo dos Santos, for being a real gentleman and the best maker of beer and goat stew; Duarte Martins, for iron-clad friendship and no-nonsense arguments; to the very good-natured Quintiliano Mok; and to Kieran Dwyer for being incredible. Incalculable thanks to „Natalina‟, „Paulo‟, „Sebastião‟, „Felipe‟, „Rui‟, „Cesar‟, „Mario‟, „Anabela‟, „Rosa‟, „Maria‟, „Esperanza‟, „Octavia‟, „Josefina‟, „Antonio‟, „Domingos‟, „Nina‟, „Esperanza‟. What can I say? You deserve all the benefits that Australian citizenship can give you. Best thanks also to „Sara‟ and „Isobel‟ and João; and to Doli and Ligia for permission to publish their names and words in 2000. To the courageous Alves girls for sisterhood & a place to sleep; to Solange and Hugo, and in memory of Tia M, for gracious hospitality Timor style. For thoughtful analysis and thought provoking discussions: the fabulous Bella Galhos, who needs no microphone, and to my virtual friend (and real poet) Abé Barreto Soares; Gil Santos of the brilliant „Dili Allstars‟; Balthasar Kehi; Dionisio Babo Soares; Benjamin Corte-Real; Hernani Coelho da Silva; Fernando (Lasama) de Araujo and Jackie Siapno; and fellow Timor-philes, iii Jenni Kanaley, Sara Niner, Rowena Lennox and James Goodman. Also to Kristina Tang and her colleagues at STARRTS; to Kevin Sherlock for invaluable background on Kristus; to Manuel Viegas (MMIETS) for stories and sound advice; to the tireless and seriously empowered Mary MacKillop Sisters: Sister Josephine, Sister Susan, Sister Joan et al., and to Sister Kath for the Jungian analysis and for first helping me to „map‟ the diaspora in Sydney. For help with Tetun-English translations, my great thanks to Leoniza Lobato and to Aderito Soares for tackling the Abstract. In Dili: Muito Obrigada to „José‟ and „Dina‟ for taking good care of me in (for them) dangerous times. To the wonderful Rui Hanjam for friendship and translations; to Sister Lourdes and the angels in Dare; and to the scores of people who gave their time and told me their amazing stories. In the UK: My humble thanks to Maubere Moko, Estevão Cabral, Luciano Conceição, Kupa Lopes, Arsenio Baño and Boaventura Moreira. In Ireland: Sláinte to Dino Gandara Rai, José Dores das Lopes, Tom Hyland and their colleagues at ETISC; to the Amnesty crew; to the very enthusiastic Loreto Catholic College girls for throwing themselves into the impromptu choir and to Dr Peter Carey for lunch and for the volume of João Aparício‟s poetry. There are way too many friends at the Australian National University to list here but most of all a thousand times thank you to Megan Poore (the formatting Queen) and Matthew Thomas; to my very dear friends Greg Rawlings and Tina Jamieson for everything; to Angie Bexley for sharing the passion and being inspiring; to Anna Weatherly for wise counsel; and to countless others in the field of East Timor-related studies for collegiality, especially the East Timor Studies Group at ANU. On the home front, I owe a deep debt of gratitude to the young people who lived with me through this process and provided priceless insights. Primarily the totally grounded Toby who, in spite of everything, gave me unconditional support and the benefit of his wicked sense of humour, and to the lovely and long suffering Amelia for keeping things going (I promise I‟ll clean the house more often now); to the Antill Street boys for reminding me of the importance of being wreckless; and in memory of Robert whose spirit lives on in the fridge (it‟s a long story). Finally, thanks to my true friend and ally, Nan Quinn, who threatened to shoot herself if I didn‟t finish this thesis; to the wonderful Merrilyn Fahey, a wise woman who names things; and to the eminently kind and generous Sue Smith, Barb Holloway, Serena Ann/Gambiraja and, not least, Lerley and Al for the kind of support that kept wolves from doors. iv ABSTRATU Peskiza ida ne’e esplora Timorensianessa hanesan identidade ida mak komplexu no lao ba-oin ne’ebé ‘fronteira’ Timorensia, iha parte fíziku no psiko, ne’ebé marka tiha no marka fila-fali iha tempu bar-barak no fatin. Peskiza ne’e hare spesífikamente ho sensu dislokasaun no ambiguidade ne’ebé mak fó baze identidade sosial husi foin-sae Timorense sira ne’ebé mak hela iha Australia iha periode ida ho transformasaun polítika iha Historia presente Timor-Leste nian (1997-1999). Rekonhese diversidade esperiensia husi foin-sae diasfora sira, estudu ida ne’e fó atensaun liu-liu ba jerasaun ‘noventa’ nian husi foin-sae Timor-oan sira, katak sira ne’ebé mak iha sira nia tinan-joven ou hahu tinan rua-nulu wainhira sira husik hela Timor-Leste depois Massakre Santa-Cruz 1999. Estudu ne’e konsidera dalan sira ne’ebé foin-sae sira negosia sira nia esperíensia husi dislokasaun no imensidade husi identidade Timorensia ida ne’ebé mak politizada makás tebes, dala-barak foin-sae sira forma sira rasik ho sintidu ida husi moris ida mak ‘todan’ no klean, no dalaruma sinti todan liu ho sentidu moral ne’ebé mak iha. Iha diasfora, evokasaun ba memória traumátiku sentraliza liu husi perservasaun identidade uníku Timorensia nian no nia konstitui fila hikas liu husi mundu violadu ida. Nune‟e uza memória hodi justifíka identidade Timorensia ida mak espesífiku no hanesan hotu no hodi rekonstrui liu husi ritual públiku sira. Maibe, determinasaun diskursu monólogu demais hanesan ne‟e bele ameasa hodi hanehan tiha experiensia heterozenu no posibilidade mudansa ba foin-sae Timor oan sira no diversidade espresaun cultural Timor nian. Estudu ida ne‟e esplora relasaun entre diskursu monólogu ida ne‟ebé artíkula identidade públiku ida mak metin- los ne‟ebé hamosu Timorensianesa ida mak „auténtiku‟ no dirkursu dialózikal hodi hamosu identidade hibrida sira ne‟ebé mak ambigu liu tan. Hau hahu hodi buka-tuir sasan husi istória, kultura, mitos no poder ne‟ebé hamutuk hodi hamosu representasaun tomak ida husi Timorensinesa no foin-sae hanesan patriota no kolektividade ba sakrifísiu-an rasik. Hau argumenta katak ezizensia husi luta ba independensia husi okupasaun Indonesia bazeia husi hari buat espesífiku ida husi foin- sae sira iha Timor-Leste laran ne‟ebé mak halo foin-sae sira hetan potensialidade no papel heróiku. Maibe, potensialidade husi identidade politizada ida ne‟e, iha rai-laran ka iha liur, dala-barak la estavél no provisóriu hela de‟it. Nomós, identidade hanesan v ne‟e belemos habelar no haklot foin-sae Timor tan sira-nia performa sempre kahur ho strutura poder no relasaun ne‟ebé mak sosialmente no espasialmente kondisional.