Use-Of-Self: Presence with the Power to Transform Systems

Use-of-Self: Presence with the Power to Transform Systems

Mary Ann Rainey, PhD MA Rainey Associates

Brenda Jones, MSc The Lewin Center

Abstract

In the current climate of chaos and complexity, change is driven as much by the change agent’s use- Mary Ann Rainey, PhD, is an of-self and presence as it is informed by theories, international consultant and executive models, and change methodologies. This article coach, former corporate VP, and Vice- advances the premise that transformational change city manager. She teaches in the begins with the change agent through a process Executive MBA Program at Loyola University Chicago that involves understanding self, thoughtful use-of- and in the Strategic Agility and Innovation Program sponsored by Yale School of Management and Yale New self, and engaging with a presence that motivates, Haven Hospital. She is Co-chairperson of the International inspires and engenders followership. By change Gestalt Organization & Leadership Development Program agent, we mean leaders, managers, consultants, (iGOLD) and Program Dean of NTL’s OD Certificate Human Resources professionals, and others on Programs in Oxford, England. the forefront of change. Our belief is that when these agents of change transform their capabilities, including their emotional intelligence, they also transform the capabilities of the systems in which they live and work. There are six main sections of the article: Introduction, Understanding Self, Brenda B. Jones, MSc, is an Four Elements of Self (a framework developed by organization development consultant the authors), Use-of-self, Presence, Cultivating a and President of The Lewin Center. She is past CEO and President of the Powerful Presence, and Conclusion. NTL Institute and was on the faculty at the Gestalt OSD Center in the USA. Her experience includes clients in the Keywords: agent of change, elements of self Americas, Europe, Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. She use of self, presence, power, transformational received the OD Network’s Lifetime Achievement Award change, systemic change and is co-editor of The NTL Handbook for Organization Development and Change (2014, 2nd edition). ______

Rainey and Jones 1 The ultimate goal of organizational change is to transform systems in a positive way. Author Whether working with an individual, group, or Contact Information: the total organization, the desire is to affect a positive outcome. In fact, it is an accepted rule of Brenda B. Jones engagement among change agents that a priority Phone: 410 799-5910 is to leave the system as good as or better than they find it. Unfortunately, successful change is Jones Consulting an elusive commodity, especially during times 6501 Fire Cloud Court Columbia, MD 21045 of rapidly changing and volatile environments. USA Research suggests that the percentage of successful change leaves little to boast with 70% of all Email: [email protected] transformations ending in failure (Ewenstein, B., et. al. July 2015). The question thus becomes, “What makes for effective change?” Mary Ann Rainey Phone: 312 218 2505 Leaders, consultants, academics and others interested in change now accept that effective MA Rainey Associates change requires both whats and hows; that is, what 195 North Harbor Drive, Suite 608 is being done and how it is done. They find that Chicago, IL 60601 success rests in great measure on the engagement USA style and relatability of the change agent. The

Email: [email protected] message to the leader in the opening case scenario is transformation begins with him through his development as an instrument of change.

2 Organization Development Journal l Summer 2019 Understanding Self and the ideal self is the basis for much individual Use-of-self and particularly presence are and organization dysfunction (the underdeveloped gaining interest and further study. Publications self). There is general acceptance of existence of and titles span a range from executive presence self at four levels: spirit, emotion, mind, and body. to neuroscience and presence. Individuals across For the purpose of this writing, self is defined as organizational sectors are intrigued by the idea of one’s essential being different from others, socially “instrumental self as an agent of change” (Seashore influenced through interaction with others and the et al., 2004, p. 42). This indicates a realization that external world. use-of-self and presence extend beyond optics and speech-making. The desire to increase competence Four Elements of Self and become a more potent self requires a journey Tannenbaum and Hanna (1985) are strong of self-discovery. After all, it was Socrates who in their belief that those who work with others must famously stated “An unexamined life is not worth be grounded in a mature and realistic sense of self, living” (Brickhouse et al. 1994, p. 201). for they say, without knowledge of self, knowledge Perspectives on the existence (or non- of the other is much more difficult to attain. The existence) of the self are endless. Early proponents Four Elements of Self framework (Figure 1) was of the self as a construct—among them eastern designed by the authors for analysis of self along and western philosophers, scholars, and religious four dimensions: Self-awareness, Self-concept, leaders—defined self as the immortal soul that Self-esteem, and Social-self. transcends the physical self. According to Locke Self-awareness. In a seminal article by (1690), personal identity or the self, “depends Charlie Seashore and his colleagues, Doing Good on consciousness, not on substance nor on the by Knowing Who You Are, (2004), self-awareness soul” (p. 326). Jung (1971) depicts the self as is described as a fundamental building block of an archetype, an ancient or archaic image that an individual’s capacity to be an effective agent of represents the psyche as a whole and the unification change. Self-awareness is conscious and intentional of consciousness and unconsciousness in a person. directing of attention to oneself for the purpose of According to Jung, the self is realized as the product examining one’s feelings, perceptions, thoughts, of individuation, which is the process of integrating behavior, assumptions, biases, and motives. This one’s personality. Horney (1950) understood the form of introspection enables better understanding self to be the core of one’s own being and potential. of one’s strengths and developmental opportunities. According to Horney, the real self is the basis for Other means of acquiring self-knowledge are co- positive growth and change (the developed self) workers, managers, mentors, coaches, friends, family, and personal assessments that show strengths, challenges, preference, and stylistic Figure 1. Four Elements of Self tendencies. Duval and Wicklund (1972) believe anything that helps people focus on themselves will increase their self-awareness. The researchers demonstrated that when people are not self-focused, chances are their behavior is incongruent with the ideal they have for themselves: “The process of comparing the self with standards allows people to change their behavior and to experience pride and dissatisfaction with the self. Self-awareness is thus a major mechanism of self-control.” (p. 21) Duval and Wicklund (1972) also introduced the idea that conscious attention to self is bi-

Rainey and Jones 3 directional; meaning that people can focus attention others, “I am tall” and so are others. The question on the self or on the external environment. for one’s self-concept is “Who am I to me?” Consciousness directed toward self is objective The important thing to remember in self-awareness where self becomes the object of exploring self-concept is that our sense of one’s consciousness. Conversely, consciousness ourselves can change. We can continue growing, directed away from self toward some aspects learning, adapting and transforming ourselves. of the environment is called subjective self- Human development never stops. This awareness awareness where the self is the subject of one’s alone liberates and frees us from the fear of self- externally directed attention. Furthermore, the two exploration. Though it may not be easy, we do not states are mutually exclusive. In the case study have to stay fixed in a non-affirming self-concept. presented in the opening of this chapter, the leader We can instead, embrace our potential. is using subjective self-awareness to analyze the Self-esteem. Self-esteem involves organization (consciousness directed toward the evaluation of the extent to which I approve of external environment) which did not allow him to myself. It is a way to understand one’s self-worth. see himself as a part of the system. By developing Having positive feelings about self is necessary for a level of objective self-awareness (consciousness emotional health and well-being. Self-esteem can directed toward himself), the leader may position be based on what others say about you or what you himself to be a catalyst for change in his own say about yourself. From our early conditioning organization. and life experiences, self-esteem is strengthened Self-concept. One’s self-concept is a by positive experiences and accomplishments as declaration of how one sees oneself, one’s self- well as by mistakes and negative experiences and image. It is often explained that self-concept is lessons learned from both feel-good and feel-bad like holding up a mirror or infrared camera in front situations. It is our responses to our experiences of yourself and noticing what you see, visibly and and our environment that let us connect with our below the surface. Exploring self-concept is an self-worth. Self-esteem, rationality, perseverance, invitation to peer behind the curtain of self and self-responsibility, and personal integrity are all linger for a while until the fuller self comes into intimately related (Branden, 2001). focus—both the beautiful and the blemished self. Abraham Maslow (1943) included self- Philosopher and social psychologist George esteem in his motivational theory that describes Herbert Mead (1934) found that people develop five needs of human behavior—biological and self-images through interactions with others. He physiological, safety, belongingness and love, adds that constructing an image of self is made esteem, and self-actualization. For Maslow, self- possible through role-taking—placing oneself in the esteem is based on emotions and the need for self- position of other and then looking back on oneself respect. from the vantage point of the other. Rogers (1959) Depending on how one feels on a given day, identifies three components of self-concept: (1) the self-esteem can be experienced as a roller coaster view one has of self, (2) the value one places on self or non-stop elevator ride. On these occasions, one (self-esteem or self-worth), and (3) the aspirations is confused about self-worth because one’s mood one has for self (ideal self). meter goes round-and round and up-and-down From a developmental perspective, Lewis which can lead to a depressive state of mind. On the (1990) differentiates between the existential self other hand, inflated sense of self leads to misguided and the categorical self. With the existential self, ego and in the extreme, narcissism. It is useful one has a sense of being separate and distinct from when assessing self-esteem to determine if one’s others and this separateness exists over time and valuing of self-worth is dependent upon how others space (Bee, 1992) which is essentially, I am me and feel about you or how you feel about yourself. they are they. On the other hand, the categorical Argyle (2008) believes there are four major self is the self that is connected to the world with factors that influence self-esteem: a self that shares properties with others. Examples 1. Reaction of others. If people admire us, of categorical self are “I am 40” and so are some flatter us, seek out our company, listen

4 Organization Development Journal l Summer 2019 attentively, and agree with us, we tend to and through social media can have lasting influence develop a positive self-image. If they avoid on personal health and well-being. However, one us, neglect us, tell us things about ourselves must have good centering and sound understanding that we do not want to hear, we develop a of self in order to manage the boundary between negative self-image. self and others. 2. Comparison with others. If the people we The social-self brings with it some tension. compare ourselves with (our reference While a deeper sense of self happens between group) appear to be more successful, people, the self with self is the system that is happier, richer, or better looking, we tend to responsible for making choices. Brewer’s (1991) develop a negative self-image. But if they Distinctiveness Theory argues that an individual’s are less successful than we are, our image of social identity necessitates a trade-off between the ourselves tend to be positive. need for assimilation (self with others) and the need 3. Social roles. Some social roles carry prestige for differentiation (self with self). In other words, and promote self-esteem, e.g., performer, at the same time that one wants to be distinct from doctor, airline pilot, TV presenter, and the group, one wants to be part of the group. For professional athlete. Other roles carry example, technology has drawn attention to the stigma, and may diminish self-esteem, impact of social media on human interaction. e.g., prisoner, immigrant, homeless, or The paradox is that while technology isolates, it unemployed. also opens doors for new relationships and social 4. Identification. The impact of social roles connection. is not passive. As Argyle suggests they Understanding the social-self strengthens are not just out there; they become part of one’s ability to manage relations in a way that builds one’s self-perception. We identify with the trust, is inclusive, affirming, and confirming. One positions we occupy, the roles we play, and can engage fully with other with clarity, respect, and the groups we belong to and assign a level authenticity and not lose oneself in the exchange. of significance to them. Unconscious Bias. Thorough exploration Comparison to others and reaction of others of self brings with it the need for change agents are keenly critical to one’s positive or negative to attend to how their deeply-rooted assumptions judgment of self, especially in adolescence and and stereotypes creep and settle into perceptions early professional years. As one matures, self- of others, shape choices and decisions, and impact esteem is less about others and more about one’s everyone associated with a particular situation. position in life. And self-esteem is often higher For example, if one assumes that one generation for mature individuals who have come to terms is more socially or technically competent than with where they are in life. For them, the question another generation and then bases work decisions becomes, “Am I living my best life?” on such assumptions, this constitutes unconscious Social-self. When speaking of the social- bias. Deciding to appoint or not appoint a person self, relatability is critical. The emphasis is on to a new project without data or information quality of relationship and not quantity. Again, in because she reminds you of someone from your reference to George Herbert Mead (1934), this time past is unconscious bias. Forming perceptions of to his critically recognized approach to sociology others helps to manage the abundance of stimuli in called interactionalism. His theory supports the world; however, it is necessary to periodically the notion of the individual as a social-self, not examine the underlying assumptions behind one’s biologically created but produced through the judgement of others. interaction of self with other. To be one’s full self is to recognize Use-of-Self relationships, engagements, and social dimensions Once change agents have a good that support growth and appreciation of self. understanding of self, they are better able to Relationships in families, group memberships, use self to establish the presence they desire. communities, organizations, professional networks, Tannenbaum and Hanna (1985) view Use of Self

Rainey and Jones 5 (UOS) as social sensitivity—one’s ability to (1) as we perceive it—and to act on it and accurately assess the environment, and (2) act with leave our mark and legacy for others to flexibility depending on the situation. UOS requires appreciate.” (p. 44) continuous mindfulness. It also implies a mature Nevis, Backman, and Nevis (2003) and realistic sense of self. distinguish between the change agents’ UOS in Use-of self is relational in its core intent and strategic interactions and intimate interactions represents an invitation to create a bridge between (Table A). Strategic interactions are more self and other. This brand of engagement challenges objective, formal, and impersonal with greater change agents, making their interventions as much power distance. Conversations are more content about themselves as they are about the other and driven and task-focused, and as a result less risky further, holding them answerable for their actions. and likely more political. Intimate interactions are The aim of using self is to cultivate and deploy more informal, personal, and supportive with less the unique qualities of the change agent and to use of a power distance between the parties. In intimate those qualities in an instrumental and helpful way. interactions, there is willingness by the parties to One of the most commanding groups of reveal more about themselves to each other. It statements about UOS comes from Seashore, follows that intimate interactions are less political; Shawver, Thompson, and Mattare (2004): but involves more risk. The openness between the “…the use-of-self is a link between our parties makes them more vulnerable to each other. personal potential and the world of change. Successful change agents strike a balance between It starts with our understanding of who the two methods of using self, depending on the we are, our conscious perception of our circumstances. self, commonly called the ego, and the Responsible and Ethical Use-of-self. As unconscious or out of awareness part of our mentioned, the change agent assumes accountability self that is always along for the ride and on for his or her actions—intended consequences as many occasions is actually the driver. This well as unintended consequences. There are risks understanding of self is then linked with our involved in the use of self. Knowing when to focus perceptions of what is needed in the world on self and when to focus on the other is an on-going around us and our choice of a strategy and process. First and foremost, a change agent must a role in which to use our energy to create know the work is not about him or her; it is about change. Our focus here is on the potential the stakeholders and the larger system. Knowing for changing one’s own world—the world when and how to share personal experience is the

Table A Strategic and Intimate Interactions

STRATEGIC INTERACTIONS INTIMATE INTERACTIONS

 Objective and formal  Subjective and informal  Impersonal  Personal  Greater power distance  Less power distance  Focus on content and task  Focus on process  Focus on getting work done  Focus on providing support  Less risky personally  More risky personally  More political  Less political

6 Organization Development Journal l Summer 2019 key. Using self must at all times be in service of levels of absenteeism drop and engagement levels advancing the work, moving the system closer to increase. achieving desired goals. Overuse and inappropriate Having established a fuller understanding UOS in service of self is ego driven and only serves of self and its impact on performance, we now the change agent. Use-of-self in service of the other consider the concept of presence. is driven by a desire to help. This is why change Essence of Presence. An emerging pattern agents are often characterized as helpers. in our work is hearing leaders, managers, even students declare “I want to work on my presence.” Presence Seldom do they know what presence is; yet, they feel Emotional Intelligence (EQ) contributes to a more engaging presence will result in an elevated more effective use-of-self, and sets the stage for sense of self and higher quality connections with cultivating a more powerful presence. The objective others. Many go on to tell us that part of what fuels of the opening case was to stress the importance of their interest is the impact left by individuals they leadership to transformational change. It suggests perceive to have presence. Then they often follow that the leader in the case is the first tool of system with, “I want some of that.” transformation. Because of the perceived power Presence has indeed moved from being an and influence associated with leadership, how ambiguous therapeutic construct to being a clear leaders execute their responsibilities is important. It consideration in effective change where the leaders is their use-of-self. Because EQ subsumes use-of- of change begin to attend to the “softer” aspects of self, studies in EQ are helpful in demonstrating the work. In turn, leaders are gaining appreciation of transformative power of use-of-self. the value in using themselves as a tool of change. Psychologist Daniel Goleman (1995) For change agents, presence means showing establishes EQ as the ability to recognize and up in an open and receptive way to engage in a understand personal moods, emotions and drives dynamic, relational process. This process comes (self-awareness) and manage them (self-regulation) from the active and sustained interplay of attention and attend to the moods, emotions and drives of others directed to self, attention directed to others, and (awareness of others) and manage relationships attention directed to the situational context and with others (relationship management). Goleman broader environment. Rainey Tolbert and Hanafin states that EQ is a hallmark of effective leadership. (2004) describe presence as the engagement of Research findings by Korn Ferry of one’s essence: the United States stock market performance of “When it comes to presence, there are no 487 publicly traded companies reveal that self- duplicates, only originals. In this sense, awareness—the core component of EQ—is critical presence can be understood as ‘practitioner to career success and improved executive leadership. DNA,’ a composite of unique qualities.” The study also shows that self-awareness correlates (p.72) to overall company financial performance. Public companies with a higher rate of financial return Edwin Nevis (1989) outlines the goals of also employ professionals with higher levels of EQ presence: (Esimai, 2018). “The practitioner is not only to stand for Another study finds that leaders with higher and express certain values, attitudes, and self-awareness not only have greater job satisfaction skills, but to use these in a way to stimulate, and commitment to their employer personally, but and perhaps evoke from the client, action that effect also appears to trickle down to a leader’s necessary for movement on its problems. direct reports (Luthans and Peterson, 2003). In This means that the practitioner is generally addition, psychologist Martyn Newman (2017) more open and revealing about the thoughts points to findings that indicate the adaptive skills and feelings than might be true in other needed in organizations are rooted in emotional and forms of process consultation. The aim is social behaviors. She refers to research showing to take advantage of the issues of difference, when EQ grows among individuals in a company, marginality, and attraction by the client so

Rainey and Jones 7 as to use oneself in the most powerful way of human interaction, it must be calibrated, and possible (Nevis, 1987, p. 54). aligned with these forces. The relational component is even stronger Presence occurs in the present moment where when it comes to presence than use-of-self. choices are made about where and how to support Perlman’s (2007) thoughts about relationships the work at hand. And, according to Hawkins and are poetic: Smith (2006), presence also exits in the past and “Relationship is a human being’s feeling or future, along a time spectrum, as illustrated in their sense of emotional bonding with another. It Authority, Presence, Impact (API) Model (Figure leaps into being like an electric current, or B). The integration and balancing of the three it emerges and develops cautiously when components are key to one’s personal power. emotion is aroused by and invested in • Authority (Past) represents whom you know, someone or something and that someone what you know, or what you have done. For or something ‘connects back’ responsively. examples, education, titles, qualifications, We feel ‘related’ when we feel at one with or roles. Authority is represented by one’s another (person or object) in some heartfelt education, references, even how and by way.” (p. 22) whom he or she is introduced. One’s The power and impact of presence is for the authority can open doors and acquire change agent to be seen as a role model to others, to initial attention; yet, alone, cannot create inspire others, lift them up, and challenge them to lasting relationships. In fact, over-use and a greater commitment to themselves or to a shared over-referencing one’s authority can lead goal. Consequently, presence becomes a hallmark to negative effect. Authority can also be of organizational transformation. a liability when one’s use of social media Range of Presence. Presence is critical provides personal information and content when working in large, complex systems where the that is deemed inappropriate or perceived environment grows increasingly unpredictable and negatively by a prospective employer or the context of work continuously changes depending client. on stakeholder or constituent group. Because one’s • Presence (Present) is the ability to develop presence contributes to the natural ebb and flow relationship and rapport both quickly and

Figure 2: Authority, Presence, Impact Model (Hawkins & Smith, 2006)

Relating well with others Presence Being present with others (Present)

Achievements and CHANGE AGENT Shifting mindset experience and agenda

Authority Impact (Past) (Future)

Who and Creating what one knows emotional shifts

(Adapted to Hawkins, P. & Smith, N. 2006)

8 Organization Development Journal l Summer 2019 with a wide range of people. Change agents (2014, p. 119-20), long after they have left who possess a high degree of presence the building. quickly build trust and command attention When teaching about presence, Nevis (1987) and respect regardless of the context would emphasize the importance of providing or situation and with diverse groups of what is missing in a system to demonstrate what is individual. High-quality presence requires possible, to model courage, and to inspire others to the ability to read the room and make quick embrace their difference or speak in a different voice. decisions about when, where, how, with Difference itself was a tool of change for Nevis. whom to engage OR not engage. It is what is Hanafin (2004) agrees and offers a perspective on known as refined gravitas but not charisma. how to gauge the degree of difference that can be Presence incorporates the visual, verbal, pondered and heard. He warns that difference can non-verbal, tone, pace, competence and be both a prerequisite and a peril of presence; that perceived confidence in that competence— is, one can have too much or too little presence. at the same time it is humility. Hanafin’s Perceived Weirdness Index (PWI) isa • Impact (Future) Those individuals with guide to how different (weird) one is in relation to high levels of impact make a difference a system (Figure 3). He advises agents of change with their presence in the here-and-now and to summon the courage to model a different way of leave a lasting impression once they have being, thinking, and behaving but with intentionality. left the room. It is possessing the ability If the change agent is too different, i.e., high PWI, to engage and communicate in a way that effectiveness is jeopardized. This leads to the changes or reframes the way issues are audience focusing on the change agent’s’ difference discussed. “The other aspect of impact is rather than the work. Change agents must manage the ability to alter the emotional climate of the dilemma of furnishing a presence that is missing a meeting, relationship, or conversation by while keeping PWI at a palatable level (Rainey skillful introduction of different emotional Tolbert and Hanafin, 2006). energy, such as with humor, assertiveness, Cultivating a Compelling Presence. It or the expression of the collectively felt but goes without saying that all we have discussed unexpressed. Change agents with Impact is hard work for change agents. Exploration of leave a positive impression and hold the the self can be very exhausting, emotionally, thoughts of the other, known as mindshare physically, cognitively, and spiritually. Developing even in their absence” (Rainey & Jones a compelling presence takes time and can be

Figure 3. Perceived Weirdness Index (PWI)

Rainey and Jones 9

fraught with starts and stops that leave seasoned attend to both the what and the how of change. The professionals questioning themselves. Personal how begins with the change agent’s use-of-self. development while supporting complex change This implies concerted effort to attend to personal increases the stress even more. experience and making choices about how to utilize An interesting aspect of presence is that that experience to create a presence that makes a everyone has presence, without further study difference. When agents of change are grounded in or training. Whether intentional or not, each awareness of self and intervene with intentionality, person makes an impression. Presence has many they greatly enhance their power to shift systems. manifestations, overt and covert—when speaking; Our purpose in writing this paper was to when silent; when still in the room but not present; highlight the importance of self-transformation when excluding without drawing a visible boundary; as an important consideration in organizational when speaking while silent; when standing out transformation. We firmly believe and studies without standing up; and when voting without a support the premise that self-transformation show of hands. can have a positive impact on organizational Gestalt practice in organizations encourages transformation. change agents to move beyond passive presence and embrace a more intentional, active and compelling presence (Rainey and Jones, 2014; Rainey Tolbert and Hanafin, 2006). Gestalt further informs the following suggestions for cultivating a powerful ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ presence: 1. Care for the instrument that is self. 2. Know and understand self. Develop emotional intelligence. 3. Work from a stance of awareness and maintain that awareness. 4. Align one’s personal presence with the client. 5. Attend to and hold the whole system. Think systemically. 6. Intervene with intentionality. Adapt work to the appropriate level of system, e.g., individual, interpersonal, group, organization or societal. 7. Teach your perspective and model how to approach issues, hopefully to inspire and mobilize the energy of the client system. 8. Embrace multiple realities. Support diversity and inclusion. 9. Work from a stance of optimism and belief in possibilities. 10. Monitor personal tendencies and behavioral patterns. Manage one’s PWI.

Conclusion

Organizational change has moved from the days of sole focus on theories, tools, and techniques. Effectiveness rests on the change agent’s ability to

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