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One Girl's Experience with Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and Neglect

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One Girl's Experience with Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and Neglect Georgia Southern University Digital Commons@Georgia Southern Electronic Theses and Dissertations Graduate Studies, Jack N. Averitt College of Spring 2021 Southern Ways: One Girl’s Experience with Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and Neglect Merry Trammell Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.georgiasouthern.edu/etd Part of the Curriculum and Social Inquiry Commons, and the Social Justice Commons Recommended Citation Trammell, Merry, "Southern Ways: One Girl’s Experience with Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and Neglect" (2021). Electronic Theses and Dissertations. 2267. https://digitalcommons.georgiasouthern.edu/etd/2267 This dissertation (open access) is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate Studies, Jack N. Averitt College of at Digital Commons@Georgia Southern. It has been accepted for inclusion in Electronic Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons@Georgia Southern. For more information, please contact [email protected]. SOUTHERN WAYS: ONE GIRL’S EXPERIENCE WITH PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, AND NEGLECT by MERRY TRAMMELL (Under the Direction of Delores Liston) ABSTRACT This autobiographical inquiry will explore my own experiences with physical abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. Using the method of currere as a lead theory. The four-step process – regressive, progressive, analytical, synthetic – helped me work towards understanding the parts of myself affected by these traumas. Investigation of my own family’s generations of abuse as well as reflecting on these experiences helped me deconstruct my own story as I search for my own meaning and purpose. This study utilized aesthetics, depth psychology, and place as central themes in this work. I learned the valued of active imagination and the role it plays in psychic healing. Individuation allows one to assimilate into their own geographical place, into their own family system, and into their own psyche. This strengthens the individual’s own psychological make up providing them with a stronger psyche economy. Warning – This work focuses on the issues of childhood trauma such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional neglect, which may generate secondary trauma with readers. Please read with caution. INDEX WORDS: Curriculum studies, Currere, Place, Aesthetics, Depth psychology, Sexual abuse, Physical abuse, Neglect, Trauma, Individuation SOUTHERN WAYS: ONE GIRL’S EXPEREINCE WITH PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, AND NEGLECT by MERRY TRAMMELL B.A. University of Houston – Clear Lake, 1994 M.A. Hardin Simmons University, 1997 A Dissertation Submitted to the Graduate Faculty of Georgia Southern University in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree DOCTOR OF EDUCATION © 2021 MERRY TRAMMELL All Rights Reserved 1 SOUTHERN WAYS: ONE GIRL’S EXPEREINCE WITH PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, AND NEGLECT by MERRY TRAMMELL Major Professor: Delores D. Liston Committee : Grigory Dmitriyev Pam Wells Laura Bush (Non voting) Electronic Version Approved: May 2021 2 DEDICATION This is for Krista because you got me before I did. 3 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to thank my committee – Delores Liston, Grigory Dmitriyev, Pam Wells, and Laura Bush - for all the support and patience showed to me during this educational journey. It took me longer than anticipated so thank- you for your commitment to and guidance as I worked to complete this chapter of my life. I will remember you all with fondness. Delores Liston you are a kind person, a brilliant scholar, and a fabulous teacher. You have a “bedside manner” that was so helped as I gather myself and gently pulled my way out of the darkness. My gratitude will extend long after our ways part, yet to end here, with appreciation, seems like A beautiful place to end this journey. 4 TABLE OF CONTENTS TABLE OF CONTENTS ................................................................................................................ 4 PROLOGUE ................................................................................................................................... 8 Depth Psychology and Curriculum Studies ............................... .............................................. 10 Writing, Pedagogies of Illness, and Healing ............................................................................. 13 Research about Childhood Abuse and Trauma ......................................................................... 19 Purpose of this Work ................................................................................................................ 20 Limitations of this Work ........................................................................................................... 21 Organization of this Work ........................................................................................................ 22 CHAPTER ONE: AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL PEDAGOGY ......................................................... 26 Autobiographical Pedagogy vs. Sameness ............................................................................... 26 Autobiographical Pedagogy ...................................................................................................... 27 Currere ...................................................................................................................................... 30 Regressive ................................................................................................................................. 31 Progressive ................................................................................................................................ 32 Analytical .................................................................................................................................. 33 Synthetical................................................................................................................................. 33 Place .......................................................................................................................................... 34 5 Reclaiming the Self Through Voice ......................................................................................... 35 Myth, Dreams, and Imagination ............................................................................................... 37 Collaboration............................................................................................................................. 39 Aesthetics .................................................................................................................................. 41 Southern Ideologies .................................................................................................................. 42 The Value of Studying Others’ Lives ....................................................................................... 43 How My Work Will Contribute to the Field ............................................................................. 46 CHAPTER TWO: TRAUMA AND DEPTH PSYCHOLOGY ................................................... 48 Depth Psychology ..................................................................................................................... 49 Psychic Energy.......................................................................................................................... 50 Complexes................................................................................................................................. 50 Collective Unconscious and Archetypes .................................................................................. 51 Dreams ...................................................................................................................................... 52 Synchronicity ............................................................................................................................ 52 Active Imagination.................................................................................................................... 53 Physical Effects of Trauma ....................................................................................................... 53 Depth Psychology and Curriculum Studies .............................................................................. 58 CHAPTER THREE: WRESTLING WITH THE DEVIL ............................................................ 64 Statement One: “I’ll Buy the Stamp”........................................................................................ 71 6 Deconstruction of Statement One ............................................................................................. 72 Statement Two: “I Have Never Been Nice, and I Am Not Going to Start Now” ..................... 74 Deconstruction of Statement Two ............................................................................................ 74 Statement Three: “You are the Most Ungrateful Child, and I am Not Going to Take Care of You” .......................................................................................................................................... 78 Deconstruction of Statement Three .......................................................................................... 79 Statement Four: “It Wasn’t So Bad That I Made You Lay There, but that I Made You My Slave for all Those Years” ........................................................................................................ 82 Deconstruction of Statement Four ...........................................................................................
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