Thursday 11 September 2003 Published by the USSU Communications Office issue number 1059 free www.ussu.co.uk

THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY STUDENTS’ NEWSPAPER

FESTIVAL FEVER COMMUNICATE IN THIS WEEK ’ S PAPER Sarah Butterworth and Music Editor Matt Badcock CHALLENGE CHOPS | this week the new VP heads to Glastonbury Amelia Lefroy introduce the Sports tries out gliding. | page 24 Festival, whilst Andrew wonders of student media INTERACTIVE | it’s back, with loads of new Malek gives us a taste of the at the University of Surrey things to distract you! | page 20 action at Reading 2003. Students’ Union.. BULLETIN BOARD? | Neil Christie tells us Festivals | pages 18 & 19 Communications | page 8 of the wonders of the USSU BB | page 9 Lights. Camera. Reaction.

BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH show the council really are taking notice of EDITOR IN CHIEF students’ concerns. However, this is only the start, and the THIS SUMMER HAS seen some significant Students’ Union must keep up the pressure successes for the ‘Lights Camera Action’ to ensure that this issue is not forgotten campaign being run jointly by barefacts and about. As yet there have been no security the University of Surrey Students’ Union. cameras installed at either of the Tesco’s As detailed in many of last year’s barefacts, underpasses, nor the more worrying several incidents in the underpasses Southway one. surrounding campus prompted students to During a meeting with Tony Watling call for better lighting, security cameras and from University Security and members other safety measures to be implemented. of the local police force, the Sabbatical After a series of correspondence between Offi cers of USSU expressed their concern the Union, University and local council, that the South Way underpass was being the ball has started rolling with the furthest overlooked, and that although the painting and longest underpass on the journey from and light installation was a positive start, campus to Tesco’s being painted a bright there is still a signifi cant way to go until yellow, and new strip lights being installed students can feel safe on their journeys to in the roof of the tunnel. This is a stark and from campus. contrast to the dingy, graffi ti-covered walls Details of the ongoing campaign, and new unpainted as yet: the Southway Underpass photograph by chris hunter of a few months ago, and a positive step to aims will be in the next issue of barefacts. Guildford Students: Better off on Benefi ts

BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH week - far less than they would get on the expensive town to live in in the South East EDITOR IN CHIEF dole. It is incredible that in the 21st century region. It is estimated that Surrey students students are being treated as second-class have an average annual income of around SHOCKING NEW FIGURES from the South citizens - they would be better off on £3,400, and outgoings in excess of £8,500, East Area of NUS (SEANUS) show that benefi ts.” leaving a shortfall of over £5,000 per thousands of students in Surrey are being With the Government’s widening student, every year. Figures for London forced to survive below the poverty line. participation initiatives of recent years and the rest of the country are around the These fi gures, released on 27th August 2003 yielding successes in many parts of the mid £4,500s, and the average fi gure for the show that many students are forced to live country, in the South East it is seen to be South East does not top £5,000, meaning the on around £25 a week, compared to £42.70 failing as they refuse to acknowledge the Guildford students are the poorest students for the Jobseekers allowance. high cost of living. These costs quickly in the UK. Commenting on the new fi gures SEANUS spread to local communities, pricing At present, the only solution can be to Area Convenor Jamie Day said “SEANUS both students and local residents out of introduce a weighting for South East is appalled that a government who claims its their own homes. Financial barriers are a students similar to that in London, where number one priority is education is forcing principal reason for students dropping out of students receive several hundred pounds thousands of young people in the South University in the South East, and prevents extra on their student loan each term East to live below the minimum threshold many even applying due to the prospect of compared to students studying elsewhere that it believes a single person can live on. colossal debt from the high rents and other in the country. SEANUS are campaigning After paying expensive South East rents our costs. tirelessly to ensure the government take members are expected to live on £25 per Guildford in particular is seen as the most some action on this issue. letters to barefacts | page 3 Try your hand at the BF Pub Quiz | page 20 trivial pursuits | page 22 2 NEWS 11 September 2003 Visa Charges hit Surrey Students EDITORIAL TEAM 2003-4 BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH fi nancial burden on international students, track’ scheme for student visa extensions EDITOR IN CHIEF who already pay high tuition fees in order which means the University does the bulk Editor in Chief to study in the UK in the fi rst place. Verity of the preparation. It is therefore diffi cult Sarah Butterworth THE HOME OFFICE announced on this summer Coyle, the Vice President Welfare for NUS to understand such a high charge by the that from 1st August 2003 it would begin to says: “The Department for Education Home Offi ce for applications submitted comms @ussu.co.uk charge foreign nationals in the UK for visa and Skills promotes student mobility and through this scheme. It will also present a renewal and settlement applications. positively encourages international students problem for students who wish to stay in the These charges are now applied whether to study in the UK. NUS believes this is UK for a period after ending their course to Editor or not the application is successful. Postal directly contradicted by the Home Offi ce’s attend their graduation ceremony. In this Chris Ward applications £155, with what the Home plans to charge for visa extensions. The UK circumstance they would be expected to pay Offi ce term as a premium same-day service has prided itself in attracting international an additional £155, even for a stay of a few cs21cw costing £250. students, and the great work undertaken by weeks. @surrey.ac.uk The reasons given by the Home Offi ce for the sector as a whole could be completely The President of the Students’ Union, Pete the introduction of charging are that it is undone by this proposal.” Tivers, has been in contact with Guildford’s Music Editor “unfair” for the UK taxpayer to pay for This change will hit University of Surrey local MP, Sue Doughty, and urges anyone Matt Badcock this service, it will save the Home Offi ce students particularly hard, with the who feels strongly about this situation £90m, and allow them to provide “a better proportion of international students studying to do the same. For more information on ms01mb service”. at undergraduate and postgraduate level at these changes, visit www.nusonline.co.uk @surrey.ac.uk NUS and USSU are deeply opposed to almost 40% of the student population. At or speak to Pete in the Students’ Union the introduction of charging as a further the University of Surrey we offer a ‘fast- Activities Centre. Music Editor Jon Allen bs21ja @surrey.ac.uk Mysterious

News Editor markings Phil Howard ph02ph @surrey.ac.uk appear round

Film Editor campus Neil Boulton cs21nb BY CHRIS WARD @surrey.ac.uk EDITOR

OVER THE PAST few days, chalk markings that Theatre Editor seem to be related to The Omen fi lms have Daisy Clay appeared on pavements all over campus. ps21dc The messages range from simply “The @surrey.ac.uk Omen”, to “You don’t get the point” or simply just “O”. Of course, these messages may have more than just a total randomness Literature Editor of choice. Jennifer Walker The Omen, which depicted the birth of the ph21jw anti-Christ and the havoc he wreaked upon UniS Students up @surrey.ac.uk those around him, had many crucial scenes fi lmed in and around Guildford Cathedral. The fi nal culmination of the fi lm, where Photography Editor | position vacant Damien’s (the anti-Christ) biological father for National Awards attempts to kill him, was shot inside the position vacant Sports Editor | cathedral on the altar. If anybody has any light to shed on BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH CONTRIBUTORS this mystery… you know the number… EDITOR IN CHIEF Michael Gibbons and Charlotte Jones of [email protected] the School of Engineering have both been Ben Berryman KERRY MEXSON (PICTURED above), a shortlisted in Mechanical Engineering and Andy Blair microbiology student who graduated this Materials Engineering, and Christopher Chris Bradshaw year and spent her professional year at Osborne and Simon Walker, both from the Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman Leatherhead Food International has received Physics Department have made it into the Neil Christie a Highly Commended award after being fi nal round of the Best Physics Students. Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean nominated by LFI for the Oxoid Technician The awards, organised by the World Scott Farmer of the Year. The company commented that Leadership Forum, are sponsored by a Chris Hunter “It became apparent at once that Kerry was range of companies and institutes including Claire Iles an exceptional student. She immediately QinetiQ, Lloyd’s and BOC, and are widely Zoe Kilb understood both the scientifi c side of regarded within the scientifi c community as Catherine Lee the business and, more importantly, how the ‘Oscars’ of UK science and technology Amelia lefroy that science fi tted into the operations and education. Carol Main commercial side of the company.” The winners in their respective categories Andrew Malek Congratulations also go to to four UniS - and the overall prize of Student of the Katy Saunders students who have been shortlisted for Year 2003 - will be announced at a gala Pete Tivers the prestigious Science, Engineering and dinner in September, to be held at London’s Technology Student of the Year awards. Guildhall. 11 September 2003 NEWS 3 Essex VC: Students Can Afford Top-Up Fees

BY CHRIS WARD stopfeesnow.com; they have also calculated students. The Conservatives, however, have to take students to the demonstration, so that with the £5.30 a week repayments, pledged to abolish all tuition fees if elected book the date in your diary. For more details, PROFESSOR IVOR CREWE, the Vice Chancellor students can expect to be free of debt by the to government in the next general election. see stopfeesnow.com. of Essex University, expressed his views on time they are 97 years old. Crewe’s statement If implemented, the top-up fees will replace student debt yesterday in an interview with coincides with the recent campaign launched the current up-front £1,100 a year, and will the Independent: ‘A graduate who starts off by Charles Clarke to promote the backing of be repaid after gradation in the same way as at £18,000 a year in London will be paying £3000 a year top-up fee plans. He recently the student loans, dependent on income. back £5.30 a week - which is a couple of told the Association of Commonwealth This year is the last chance for the NUS pints of beer. Now, most students could Universities that due to the vast numbers and students around the country to get afford a couple of pints of beer when they of people entering higher education, it is their voices heard nationally. The annual were students, so they can afford to pay back no longer feasible for the public to fund it. NUS National Demonstration again fees is a couple of pints after graduating.’ Justifying his decision to back the proposals, taking place in central London on Sunday The comment has been blasted as “crude” Clarke pointed out that our planned fees 26th October 2003. The University of Surrey by the NUS on their campaign sub-site were measly compared to those paid by US Students’ Union will be organising coaches a pint of beer: comparable to top up fees? Letters to barefacts Letters must be received by 5pm on the Monday before publication to guarantee their presence in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity | [email protected] Dear barefacts, Dear barefacts, I am becoming increasingly disturbed by your stamp handed to you by a person. one of the facilities on our beloved campus. Admittedly you can have your mail weighed Over the summer, I was a resident at Surrey will not be calling them again to notify them I am now convinced that it may, in fact, be so you are sure that you have paid the Court before moving into my student house. of anything similar. I also do not understand the worst example of its kind in the country. correct postage, but this hardly accounts for One morning as I woke up for work (rather how the University wish to maintain a A number of years ago, it was acceptable. enough to call it a post offi ce. You could rushed, I slept in) I smelt burning when I proper relationship with the students if their For the last year or so, it has fallen below replace it with a set of scales, a weights & stepped outside my room into the corridor. staff have such attitudes towards them, and I the absolute minimum standard. I believe costs reference table and the already-there Although I couldn’t quite work out where it suggest they seriously rethink the way they it is a fair standard to set, considering such stamp vending machines. was coming from, I thought it appropriate to communicate. Get it sorted UniS! items are a pre-requisite for the use of such On the rare occasion that I have gone to the notify University Security, so I dialled 3333 a service. post offi ce and mistakenly believed that they to speak to them. Yours Sincerely, In my somewhat long winded, riddled would be able to offer me a lowly envelope When the phone was answered, I was unsure manner, I’m talking about our post offi ce and (having forgotten the same situation a of whether I was supposed to call them or Ex-Surrey Court Resident the sad sad fact that it doesn’t sell envelopes. number of months previously), they have the fi re brigade, so I mentioned that I wasn’t As already eluded to, an envelope (or some informed that although they do not sell sure if I had called the right number. They other form of container for your mail) is envelopes, the shop does. Again this strikes replied with a rather arrogant tone “Well, is essential in order to be in a position to have me as an appalling attitude to hold on the it an emergency?”. I then mentioned that I Got something to say? Got a your mail weighed and the correct postage matter. Returning to example of a burger smelt burning on my fl oor, and the person on gripe about the University, assigned. So the fact that the campus post van, if a customer wanted some tomato the other end of the line then said “Well, yes, Union or life in general? offi ce does not sell envelopes means that sauce, I wouldn’t expect to get away with that could be construed as an emergency” in they are in fact over-payed, over hyped saying “oh I don’t have any but that shop an overly sarcastic tone. Then send a letter into stamp vending. If I were let’s say running a over there does so you’re ok.” I wish to make the University aware that my barefacts, either by email burger van, I wouldn’t expect a customer to I realise this is not an area of your room and the belongings were insured, and to [email protected], on provide a container for their food. How can responsibility, but I would urge you to notifying security when I was already late disc to the Communications they get away with calling it a post offi ce consider giving it the time and consideration for work was purely out of consideration Officer, or even on paper. when all it does is sell stamps? such a serious matter deserves. I’m sure it is for the University property. However, if I The only difference between the stamp an issue which affects many students. am to be greeted with such arrogance and It’s your paper. vending machines on the wall of the post rudeness, I do not see why I should bother Make the most of it. offi ce and the post offi ce itself is you get Name and address supplied. wasting my time. After this incident, my respect for the security has dwindled, and I

barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is Do you have a complaint against published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union barefacts notices Communications Office. this newspaper? Womens Waterpolo AGM | Thursday 25th September | 11.30am | Students’ Union Committee Room The views expressed within the paper are those of individual If you have a complaint about any item in this newspaper which contains inaccuracy, harassment, authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rifl e Club AGM | Wednesday 24th September | 6pm | Students’ Union Committee Room Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the intrusion or discrimination write to our editor about it. University of Surrey. th This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, If you remain dissatisfied please contact the Sports Standing | Monday 15 September | 6pm | Lecture Theatre E | One representative from each stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express Press Complaints Commission - an independant Club to attend permission of the publisher beforehand. organisation established to uphold an editorial Code All submissions must include the author’s name and Union of Practice for the Press. This newspaper will abide Societies Standing | Monday 22nd September | 6pm | Lecture Theatre E | One representative from each or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication. by their decision. Society to attend

Articles submitted Anonymously and Pseudonymously will not be published. Press Complaints Commission Barefacts Music Team Meeting | Every Monday | 5.15pm | USSU Media Centre 1 Salisbury Square barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions. London EC4Y 8JB Telephone: 020 7353 1248 Jiu Jitsu AGM | Monday 22nd September | 7pm | UniSport Foyer [email protected] Facsimile: 020 7353 8351 Ballroom Dancing Society AGM | Wednesday 24th September | 8pm | University Hall WWW.USSU.CO.UK Printed by South West Wales Publications Adelaide Street, Swansea Music Society (Dance) AGM | Friday 26th September | 5pm | Students’ Union Committee Room © USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2003 Tel: 01792 510000 4 COMMENT 11 September 2003

opinion Uneducation uneducation, uneducation

... and Action Barefacts Editor Chris Ward wonders how far the current GCSE

AFTER YEARS OF overlooking the problem, at last we are and A level system has come in the last 20 years, and whether starting to see some action on the part of the local coun- it really is any better at preparing youngsters for the ‘big wide cil concerning the underpasses off campus [see front page headline]. However, we must all ensure that this campaign world’. is carried through to its fi nished, and does not fall by the wayside as the year continues. Next week barefacts will be publishing the renewed aims of the campaign, and on Friday 19th September the Sabbatical Offi cers will be meeting with IT’S THAT TIME of year again. GCSE and A-Level students certainly climb the ladder a lot faster with the knowledge the local police and Richard Anderson from Guildford Bor- across the country open their result envelopes and are that backing up fi les prevents losing them if the hard drive ough Council to discuss the proposals that have already been later confronted with the usual whining from past O-Level is corrupted. Similarly, Edexcel’s relatively new Advanced put forward and the timetable for the implication of these students. If the pass rate is higher than last year, “exams are Vocational Certifi cate of Education (AVCE) in ICT has once plans. Meanwhile, try not to walk home alone late at night, getting easier”. If it’s lower, “the students are getting more again proven to be an utter waste of time. The “ICT Serving and kit up with your personal attack alarm, from available stupid”. However, as the recent reality TV show “That’ll Organisations” paper certainly isn’t easy, but ridiculously from the Students’ Union for only £1. Stay safe. Teach ‘Em” proves, O-Levels were ambiguous and the case study highly certainly not “better” qualifi cations irrelevant to anything encountered than GCSEs. The show, which “The PhD-hermits in industry. For the second year takes a sample of this year’s GCSE running (the AVCE has only been students and places them in a 50s at the exam boards running for two years), teachers school with 50s style teaching, is around the country have complained It’s That Time of purely an attempt to expose a non- should consider that the academics at the top of the existent gap between the relevance of exam board hierarchy simply have qualifi cations then and the relevance communicating with no clue about what really happens Year Again... of qualifi cations today. outside the university offi ce they The French teacher from the show the outside world have been hiding in for their entire is interviewed after giving a lesson professional careers. WALKING AROUND CAMPUS you will probably have noticed on verb tenses. He expresses his & start educating Don’t accuse me for just picking some rather garishly coloured yellow posters proclaiming shock when an A-grade French on Edexcel, however. I lost count of ‘Notice of Election’ stuck around the campus (of wafting GCSE student is incapable of telling themselves rather how many times my A-Level English in the wind). Many of you will know about the annual him the perfect tense of the verb Literature teacher sent practise Sabbatical Elections that happen every year around March “Avoire”, and emphasises that in than filling the papers back to AQA because, in her time, but these elections are something different. These the 50s, students were expected to words, they were “crap”. And they elections, which are taking place in week 5 (on October know verbs and tenses off by heart. heads of A-Level & certainly were. The practise paper 7th to be precise) are held to vote in students who help the Well, that’s all fi ne and dandy. As we received prior to our fi nal exam Sabbatical Offi cers in running the Union. Anyone can stand, a programmer, maybe I should be GCSE students with in English contained terrible spelling whether you’re a foundation year or fi nal year, postgraduate able to know every method and mistakes, grammatical errors, and or undergraduate, international or home student. All you data member from every class in the irrelevant crap.” references to the wrong characters. need is a bit of drive to want to make things better for Java programming language, but it We spent an entire lesson correcting students. The main thing to get across is that being involved doesn’t bring me any closer to knowing how to write a good mistakes in the paper, and trying to understand why in the democratic side of the Union really is a lot of fun. You program, or how to apply it effi ciently. When I took GCSE examiners that tell us we are “getting it easy in English these will meet a really great bunch of people, get to have your French, the emphasis was on knowing how to apply verbs days” are incapable of structuring a simple sentence without say in some important decisions, and have something rather and tenses, and was not on the tenses themselves, which I any spelling or grammatical errors. impressive to pop on the old CV. believe (and many current teachers believe) is the best way So, rather than take the advice of Professor Alan Smithers So, what are you waiting for? Pop into the Union and to do it. One more thing… I of Liverpool University who speak to Scott Farmer, or any of the Sabbatical Offi cers, and got a C in GCSE French, and believes that it is once again become part of something really amazing. I can remember the past tense time to make A-Levels harder, of “Avoire”. Perhaps O-Level perhaps the PhD-hermits students should base their at the exam boards should arguments around more than consider communicating with one example. the outside world and start Unfortunately, the current educating themselves rather The First of Many GCSE and A-Level system than fi lling the heads of A- seems no closer to preparing Level and GCSE students AS YOU MAY have gathered by now, this is the first barefacts youngsters for the world of with irrelevant crap. Until of the year. More hours than seem to exist have been put into industry than the O-Levels then, I still stand by the its creation, and it’s only the start of what will hopefully be a were. One of the questions fact that academia teaches very successful year for student media at USSU. This is just on an Intermediate GNVQ you, whereas the real world a quick note from the Editor in Chief to say thanks to all the papers for Information and educates you. amazing people who’ve helped put issue 1059 of barefacts Communications Technology together, especially the sabbs, the editorial team, Chris and (ICT) was “Why is it good Got something to say? Ben (the dedicated 3am Wednesday team). Thanks guys. practise to backup fi les on your computer?”. Of course, [email protected] these “high-fl yers” that have be heard barefacts | be heard passed with a distinction will 11 September 2003 COMMENT AND LETTERS 5 “I haven’t fi nished with drivers yet...”

Last April Chris Bradshaw wrote an article for this prestigious publication (available online at www.ussu.co.uk) concerning the mentality of road users in Guildford. It has now come to light that he didn’t cover the subject of bad driving quite enough, so barerants returns, and this time motorways are the target.

MOTORWAYS. GREAT IDEA. A network of A dog: possibly a better driver than most motorway users “MirrorPhobes”- You know those two fi ns big, wide, fast roads spreading out across on the side of your car, the one’s that are no the country making it so much quicker and good for applying make up with (chaps) easier to get from A to B, without getting or shaving (ladies), and just decrease the stuck behind C and the caravan it’s pulling. aerodynamic-ness of your car, LOOK IN If you’ve ever seen the news footage from THEM. Not just when you’re pulling out BBC of the M1 being opened you’d see how or changing lanes (although some mirror- great they can be, a car pushing its way from phobes need training even in that), but London to Leeds as fast as it can go- with every few seconds. You could also glance at no-one getting in the way. the shaving mirror (that’s the one with the Christmas tree hanging off it) every now and again. You never know, you might spot the three mile tailback you’re creating by doing 60 in the outside lane BEFORE people start honking at you because they want to get to their destination before you put presents under that tree. Despite covering all these categories of driver here, I haven’t touched upon the drunk, stoned, reckless, unlicensed or just Forty-Four years on and things have generally useless car owners on the roads. changed. Even with today’s modern cars the All these mirror-phobes, rubber-neckers, average journey time from London to Leeds sensible journey times on our motorways the number one cause of increased journey scaredy-cat-speeders and members of is probably longer. It gets blamed on there at the moment. Club membership entails times on motorways, as everybody in the MLOC spend their lives holding us up and being “too many cars on the road” or “not only ever using the middle lanes. They’re single lane outside them must do the same slowing down our journeys, and the worst good enough public transport alternatives” too proud of their Club to go in the inside speed, rather than have the ability to pass bit is they all probably think they’re good but the real reason is: too many people don’t lane, which may contain trucks, slow vans each other. Please note- the inside lane drivers. know how to drive. and people leaving or joining the motorway. is for driving along; all the others are for So what can we do? Not much I’m There are several categories of bad driver Similarly, they won’t use the outside lane overtaking only. I don’t care if there’s a afraid, these people all have licenses and who may impede your motorway travelling; because that’s only for boy racers and the truck 2 miles ahead of you that you just in theory as much right to use the road as I will attempt to address the main ones in Police. On an empty road, such behaviour spotted on the horizon and plan to overtake you. Gesticulating, shouting or generally turn here. is fi ne- that footage of the M1 in 1959 was somewhere round Manchester- don’t go in abusing these people will land you in jail, “Middle Lane Owners Club”- Called MLOC perhaps used in their driving lessons- but not the middle lane till you’re closer and ready and I think it unlikely that reporting them for short, this is possibly the largest threat to on today’s busy roads. MLOC members are to overtake. to the authorities will get you very far. The “Scaredy-cat Speeders”- These are the only solution I see is to save up your student people who spot a Police Car, and must slow loans and buy a helicopter - anyone want to down. They may only have been doing 72 club together? mph, but the risk of getting a ticket forces Union Elections them to brake (quite often suddenly) and Coming soon: maintain a speed of at most 60 mph until the police car turns off. This type of driver elections for the ussu part time executive positions: will do exactly the same if they see a police car stopped on the hard shoulder, with the offi cer clearly visible in his yellow jacket Academic Affairs Officer chatting to a stricken motorist- hardly in a Accommodation Officer position to give chase on a crowded road Campaigns Officer when you’re two lanes over and he’s looking Culture & Events Officer the other way. Behaviour like this drops the Ethics & Equal Opportunities Officer speed of everyone behind them, making a 1959 family car look fast. Non Portfolio Officer (2 posts) “Rubberneckers”- You must have seen Placement & Employed Students Officer these drivers. Although you can’t hear their Union Chairperson voice or read their mind from your car, you know they’re saying “Oooh, there’s an and union councillors: accident I should turn and look at that, but it seems to be going past too quickly, so I’ll brake”. They do this even if the accident Racial Relations Officer is on the other carriageway- and even if Constitution & Elections Committee (5 posts) the “accident” is some child desperately needing to use the embankment because it’s ten miles to the next services. This kind of positions for more information, please contact the deputy driver pays no attention to what the other- returning officer scott farmer ([email protected]) or still moving- vehicles around them are speak to any of the Sabbatical Officers in the Union. doing. You get two in a row and BLAM- we have another accident to look at, and more 03 delays. 6 UNION 11 September 2003 Welcome Back to USSU The new Sabbatical Officers - Pete Tivers, Claire Iles, Sarah Butterworth, Chris Hunter & Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman YOU MAY NEVER have heard of ‘The V Project’ before and welcome you back to your Students’ Union. are wondering what exactly I am on, or perhaps you were part of making ‘V’ so sucessful last year and are ready to throw yourself back into it now the 2003 - 4 year is upon FIRST OF ALL a big hello to all the people returning from placement this year. We in the Union endeavour to make us. Whoever you are …hello and welcome! this an exciting and enjoyable year for you all. We have one big request of everyone that is going into their fi nal year - please get involved with the Union as much as you can, because when you leave you will only regret not joining in. ‘The V Project’ is The University of Surrey Student Union’s There are so many amazing things on offer for you to be a part of, so here’s a quick breakdown just to refresh your programme for all students and staff which helps YOU memories: maximize your potential and equip you with valuable life skills – so that you can learn, meet new people, have fun, and Sports Clubs and Societies put your experiences to great use both within the University Don’t forget we have over a hundred different Clubs and Socs for you to get involved with. They are there for you to enjoy and local community – which of course has the added bonus yourselves when the rigour of lectures is getting you down. You don’t have to be a pro to join in, just have an interest, so pop of making you extremely employable! What else is this down to Freshers’ Fayre in the Students’ Union and UniSport on Wednesday 24th September and sign up. exciting? Quite frankly… not a lot! barefacts, GU2 and ussu.co.uk Here’s some vital info: These are the three huge communication tools at USSU. They are produced by students, for students, so whether you are a budding journalist or just want to put your views across, it’s easy to write an article for this very newspaper. If you fancy The V Project is totally free! All we ask of you is a having a go at radio, there is a once in a lifetime opportunity to do so at GU2. Also, if you are an Internet expert and want to minimum of 1 hour a month, and a bit of enthusiasm! give the Webteam a hand at running our website, just pop in to the Media Centre and have a chat with us. We are funded by the Government’s ‘Higher DAVE, V and FUSE Education Active Community Fund’, which will cover any travel expenses. This is a big chance to give your CV a needed boost before you leave University for the big wide world. The DAVE project is there to enhance everyday skills from presentations to assertiveness, the V project is a unique volunteering system for you We will provide you with training and support and to put something back into the community and FUSE is a helping hand for any of you entrepreneurs out there which can help give you certifi cated accreditation. you put your ideas into practice. It is a fantastic opportunity to boost your CV by Union Council and Union Executive building on experiences and learning new skills. Here’s your chance to get your voice heard. There are 16 members of the Union Executive (or ‘Exec’) and only fi ve of those are the Sabbatical Offi cers. The Exec is the team of people who run the Union. If you want to be involved at an important It offers you the chance to meet, learn from, and level, have a look at the details of positions available and election dates, which are being advertised now. Alternatively come help people – giving you the satisfaction of doing along to Union Council to discuss all the relevant up-to-date details of what’s going on in the Union, have your say and make something that actually makes a difference. policy about how the Union is run. If you are on the committee of a club or society, you are Nights out automatically classed as a V Project Volunteer, and all you Don’t forget in the Union you have the best nights out ever! It is the ideal place to meet up with your mates in a safe, fun and have to do to get your snazzy certifi cate at the end of the year relatively cheap environment. Remember: There is something for everyone so turn to the Entertainments Planner in barefacts is tell us who you are and what you do - simple! and see what’s on offer this week. You can also be involved in ‘Community Volunteering’ at an exciting project/ charity in the local community – just The new USSU Sabbatical Offi cers: Chris Hunter (VP Societies & Culture), Claire Iles (VP Education & Welfare), Pete Tivers get in touch with Carol Main at USSU and she can help you (President), Sarah Butterworth (VP Communications & Marketing) and Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman (VP Sports) decide where you want to go – easy peasy!

You can also be involved in ‘The A Team’ who run various one off events to benefi t the local community – last year events ranged from a fun shopping trip for the elderly to an exhilarating ‘battle of the bands’ in the USSU.

The list of fun, interesting and exciting opportunities is constantly increasing and changing as new ones arise – if we do not have the opportunity already we will do our very best to fi nd something to suit your personal needs and desires!

Whether it’s people, animals or machines that makes you buzz – there’s something for everyone – the list is endless!

‘The V Poject’ can benefi t everyone at the University of Surrey – all students and all staff. My name is Carol Main and I am the Outreach & Development Co-ordinator based in the USSU.

Name: Carol Main Tel: (01483) (68) 3254 Email: [email protected] Web: http://www.ussu.co.uk/volunteering Person: The Activities Centre @ USSU

8 COMMUNICATION 11 September 2003 Communicatestudent media @ ussu Do You GU2?

From 9am on Monday 8th September GU2 has been back on air broadcasting across campus 24 hours a day on 1350am. With a hugely diverse range of music programmes, whenever you tune in there is bound to be something to suit your musical taste just around the corner. Below is a selection of the highlights of the coming week, followed by a few be heard words from GU2’s new Station Manager, Amelia Lefroy. By Sarah Butterworth | Editor in Chief editor, theatre reviewer, or write anything Every weekday morning 10am-12noon: Big Luke’s Late Breakfast Show for the sections containing news, comment, Monday Hopefully by the time you read this you’ll interactive, sports, lifestyle, literature and 8-10pm: AKD Productions have had a chance to sample the delights of much more. Tuesday the fi rst barefacts of the 2003-4 academic It’s very simple to get something printed 7-9pm: Just a Rock Show with DJ Steed & Drummer Boy year. If by some small miracle this is the in barefacts - all you need to do is write Wednesday fi rst page you have read, if you have a fl ick it, attach it to an email and send it over 7-9pm: The Antichart with Jen Walker through this issue you will fi nd everything to [email protected]. If there is 9-10pm: AKD Productions from the latest campus news to reviews of something you feel is missing from barefacts 10-11pm: The Presence with P music releases over the summer and even the then make sure you let us know - afterall, it’s Thursday wordsearch and pub quiz to keep you awake your newspaper! 7-10pm: The J-Team Classic with Mr Tea & Mr Mental during your bleary-eyed 9am lectures. You do not have to be involved in the Union Friday But the barefacts saga doesn’t stop there, to write for barefacts, you do not need to be 5-7pm: Cyclone Dance Show with DJ Woody or even start there. Behind the scenes there part of some ‘special group of people’, and 7-9pm: CAGL on Air is a team of eager beavers working hard to you don’t have to be an amazing writer. All Saturday bring you your favourite newspaper every it takes is a little bit of inspiration, and some 10am-12noon: FNO Recovery Show with Big Luke Thursday... and this is where you come into enthusiasm. 6-8pm: Take Two with Chris Hall it! It’s probably an overused phrase, but The most important thing is that being 8-10pm: Chris Chang’s Carribean Show barefacts is written by students for students. part of the barefacts team is a lot of fun, Sunday Traditionally bf is under the umbrella of the and can take up as much or as little time 10am-12noon: The Sunday Supplement with Kyd VP Comms, but it is moving more and more as you like. So, if you want to get your 1-3pm: The GU2 Chart Show with Sabeena into the control of the students. If you have voice heard, get involved with something 3-5pm: The Sunday Service with Sam a glance at page 3 you will see the friendly exciting in the Students’ Union, and meet 5-7pm: The Student Radio Chart Show faces of this year’s Editorial Team, as well some fantastic people, then drop us a line as everyone else who has contributed to - [email protected] - or keep an eye This year for GU2 began back in May when I was elected as GU2 Station Manager at the this issue. It’s been a great start to the year, open for details of the fi rst bf general Committee Elections. Very little happened over the early part of the summer, but when but we need you to get involved. You can meeting. I got back in July the fun really began! For the fi rst time since Guildford Campus Radio get involved as a music reviewer, designer, barefacts | be heard | [email protected] was re-launched as GU2 over two years ago, the position of Station Manager will not be a placement year student. Instead, GU2 is becoming more society focused with responsibility being shared more equally among its members, the committee and the Vice President Communications and Marketing, Sarah Butterworth. So with the help of the DAVE project ussu guide to life 2003 the new committee have been trained, and worked out GU2’s aims and challenges for the coming year. By Sarah Butterworth | Vice President Communications & Marketing ‘So what are these aims?’ I hear you shout. Well, here are a few of them… The Union have allocated money to buy outside broadcast equipment for GU2, so we can IF YOU HAVE paid a visit to the Students’ Union over the past few weeks you may have noticed get out every week and broadcast from wherever takes our fancy - Roots, Chancellors, the a selection of brightly coloured leafl ets adorning the new racks outside the Media Centre. Friary Center or anywhere else we’re called to be. Many of you will remember the ‘Guide to Life’ from you fi rst year days as a thick A4 or A5 To have the most inclusive schedule of programmes and music genres possible. Some booklet, but this year it has undergone a re-vamp, and is now sent out to Freshers as a set of radio stations promise you the ‘best music’ and ‘all the greatest hits’, but they are often leafl ets in a funky new folder. As a result we have also gained several thousand extra leafl ets empty promises. At GU2 we understand that someone’s idea of a hit will be someone else’s around the Union, on Sports, Societies, Student Media, Welfare, Student Representation, musical nightmare. That’s why this year our aim is to get a schedule that represents all tastes, DAVE, V and of course the main ‘Guide to Life’. So, pop into the Union and pick up a Guide from Urban to Indie and from Punk to Pop, sorry, ‘contemporary popular classics’ as the J- to Life pack, and fi nd out everything you every needed to know about UniS & USSU! Team would say! Basically our aim is to ensure everyone has a show with which they can identify with the music. We are also working with the Vice President Societies and Culture, Chris Hunter, so that societies and sports clubs can advertise any events they want to (see new societies handbook).

Above all we want loads of people to get involved. There’s so much to get involved in; not just presenting, but marketing, production, news, the technical side and loads more. There’s no excuse for people saying ‘it’s rubbish’. Firstly because it isn’t and second of all because it’s so easy to get involved and make it what you want it to be. Any feedback or enquiries should go to [email protected], because GU2 is whatever photograph by sarah butterworth you make it! 11 September 2003 BULLETIN BOARD 9 Are You Bulletin Bored?

Neil Christie, a pre-first year about to embark upon a Business Management degree at Surrey, takes a look at how the Students’ Union Bulletin Board has given Pre-Freshers a unique insight into University Life, and asks: is the stereotypical online Bulletin Board user a reality or myth?

IF YOU WERE anything like me in the months for interesting content. I’d like to point before starting University, you wanted to out now that those times provide the most know as much about the Universities you interesting replies by far, and the tastiest selected for your six UCAS choices as bacon sandwiches known to man. possible. I read the leafl ets, visited what From looking at what I’ve gained from the I thought would be my top choices, and USSU Bulletin Board – a secure knowledge scoured through various University Guides of what to expect; the reassurance that other until I thought I had a well-established freshers will be studying my course and I opinion on where I wanted to go. Beer won’t be alone in the lecture room; the real prices, male to female ratios, and least likely insight into the university accommodation; to get mugged were amongst the top criteria an idea of what to, and what not to bring on until I stumbled across the University of the fi rst week; a helpful array or suggestions Surrey Students’ Union’s online Bulletin for employment in the forthcoming term; Board (BB). being constantly ‘encouraged’ to write And stumble I did – through many topics an article for Barefacts; and I guess most and many posts. It was a rapid realisation importantly a few friendships before that university was not just going to be reaching Surrey, it seems like I knew about getting drunk. Indeed – it was a sad nothing before reading previous comments moment. However, it opened up my eyes to and speaking to existing members of the the fact that university was going to be my university. It provides direct and honest life and my home for the next four years, opinions – which mostly differ but on the so it had better be somewhere I know I’m whole provide a good idea of what to expect going to enjoy. My head fi lled with about – on university life. It will also open up three million questions and, after registering windows for you to get involved, if you wish on the BB, I asked most of those pressing to, with various societies and organisations questions that I couldn’t get answers to repulsive looking person, hiding behind Finally the very nature of some of the including Barefacts, Stage Crew, and GU2. from any pamphlet or Open Day guide. I their monitor and four-inch-thick glasses – discussions – technical, IT-related drivel, or In short, it’s really not at all bad. wanted to know what it was going to be typing with one hand, confi guring a new PC philosophical thoughts about the world as a The stereotyping doesn’t bother me and like at Surrey on a day-to-day basis, the with another – staring solidly at the screen, whole – is simply not cool. QED? to have such a useful ‘service’ provided in real perspective from students in their fi rst, and has a complete I’d like to offer a very the shape of a BB, the university is miles second, placement, and fi nal years. mess around them due strong ‘Objection’ to ahead of others I have looked at. In the Now I feel like Surrey is far more familiar to the fact they haven’t “The stereotypical those points. The modern era computers, and the Internet, to me than home – and at time of writing moved for the past 18 beauty of a Bulletin will shape all areas of employment and be I don’t even have my accommodation years. “A geek” I hear Internet user has Board is that it’s not heavily implemented everywhere. To not allocation letter. From the cost of haircuts, you cry. Is this really a chatroom. A post is realise their potential now, with a dismissive to the facilities available everywhere within true? to be some skinny, like a letter. It can be attitude of those who use them, is unlikely the university itself; I feel fully prepared for Clearly I’d like not made at any time, and to bring about many benefi ts in the future. the whole experience and, as I sit here now, to think so. Given the pretty repulsive will stand there for all You don’t need to spend your weekend in I simply cannot wait to go. I think the most argument that someone to view in a day’s time. front of a screen to reap the benefi ts. Twenty fearful idea about university for a fresher is with a social life would looking person, Therefore the idea of minutes a week would keep you clued up on simply ‘not knowing’. Anything. It’s like be outside with their users constantly being matters in and around the Uni, and ensure plunging head fi rst into a hole you know friends, involved in hiding behind their online is mostly a you don’t miss out on a pub crawl over the will take a good three years to climb out something – anything wrong one. Personally forthcoming week. of. By having some kind of knowledge of – and be far too busy monitor and four- I tend to post when For those who simply were not aware of the journey you’re about to embark upon, to sit at home on a I have a few spare the BB – get on there and see what it has it eases the tension and really does (for me computer and do such inch-thick glasses, minutes at home. Time to offer. It may not have something for at least) make the whole ordeal a lot more things such as posting that, in the absence everyone – but with discussions regarding exciting and enjoyable. on a Bulletin Board, typing with of a computer, would decisions to be made in your Union, ideas I’ve looked around for other universities it does however seem probably be fi lled by fl oated concerning your university, and with a BB and (for my choices), couldn’t pretty conclusive. BBs one hand and sitting in front of the answers to questions you get stuck on – can fi nd a single one. I was coming to Surrey are also renowned television. Otherwise, you really afford to ignore it? anyway but after learning so much more for being tightly knit configuring a new it’s after a prolonged It also seems everyone there likes to go about the university, it cemented my choice communities of nerds. drinking session with out and have fun as much as anyone else. a long time ago. So much so that come my Again, as there are PC with another” friends and, upon In my book that qualifi es for a read, with or A level results, I didn’t want to have an regular users who arriving home, it without a bacon sarnie. insurance choice – it was Surrey or nothing. post frequently on all always seems like So why do relatively few people know about topics, friendships do tend to be struck up the most sensible suggestion is to cook The University of Surrey Students’ Union or register with the BB? I guess that is the ‘on the boards’ and, as with any close circle up a bacon sandwich, see what’s on the Bulletin Board can be found at: real essence of this article. The stereotypical of friends, there can seem to be exclusive box and (when it appears there’s nothing Internet user has to be some skinny, pretty elements about it. A clique, if you will. but Eastenders repeats on) scour the BB http://bb.ussu.co.uk 10 PROFESSIONAL 11 September 2003 Dr Russ Happy New Year from the Alumni Society The new academic year calls for new year resolutions – study hard, attend seminars, stay awake during lectures…… but for the Alumni & Development Office, the new year has all sorts in store for both staff and students! Amintha Buckland explains...

The Who? What is the money spent on? How do I fi nd out more? Replies The Alumni & Development Offi ce is a The priorities for this ongoing Fund will Keep reading Barefacts new team which now includes the Surrey be scholarships and grants to help students Have a look at the Alumni & Development DR RUSS CLARK | UNIS CAREERS SERVICE Alumni Society and is led by Professor who, through no fault of their own, have Offi ce website – www.surrey.ac.uk/alumni Peter Butterworth, the Vice Chancellor’s fi nancial diffi culties. A proportion of the Look out for posters about working on the I’ve just got back and I am in a panic Development Director. Fund will also be used to improve the telephone campaign around campus about fi tting in job hunting with my fi nal learning experience of every student through For more information email Amintha year studies. Got any good advice? So what is the Surrey Alumni Society the library and the enhancement of facilities Buckland at [email protected] about? on campus. Some students like to concentrate entirely The Surrey Alumni Society offers on their studies in their fi nal year so they various services to our 30,000+ graduates Is it successful? can get the best possible degree. Your fi rst which have increased as the Alumni & The fi rst donations for the Annual Fund were option is therefore to delay the whole career Development team has grown. Once you received in June. To date, we have donations thing until after you graduate. However, graduate, we become your main point of from the UK and from as far afi eld as China there are good reasons, for doing some of contact with the University – we send you and Canada. We are also delighted that your thinking and preparation while you’re magazines, newsletters, organise reunions Penelope Keith OBE, actress, former High still here. For a start, most of the things we and assist in networking opportunities. Sheriff of Surrey and an Honorary Graduate are organising will be easier to attend now But now, we also give our alumni a of the University of Surrey, has agreed to be than after you’ve graduated. What’s more, real chance to remain involved with the the Patron of the Fund. if you would like a job next year with a University by contributing to its future via popular graduate recruiter such as Mars or the Annual Fund. How can you help? Accenture, you have to meet their deadlines, Remember, students will benefi t from this often before Christmas, to stand any chance. Why an annual fund? Fund! As part of the programme, we will Early applications for other options such as As fi nancial support for the universities from run a telephone campaign for the month of primary teacher training are also advisable. central government declines relentlessly, November in which current students will we have to seek alternative sources of contact graduates in their own discipline. What can the Careers Service do to help? income. We are therefore going to have We will recruit and employ a team of 40 Just to give you a few examples, our Vacancy to be resourceful in seeking ways to fund students to call our alumni and discuss the Bulletin, which you can view on the Careers our ambitious plans for the future, and to new opportunities that the Fund offers. This Service web-site at portal.surrey.ac.uk/ continue to attract the best students to study is not only an ideal opportunity for students All fi nal year students were asked to give the Surrey careers will keep you up to date with the here. to earn money before Christmas, but also the Alumni Society their email address so that we can latest employer requirements. The annual perfect chance to help promote the Annual stay in contact with them after graduation. The winner of the fi nal year email prize draw was Lianne Careers Fair on Thursday 9 October when Fund. you could talk informally to people from Davis, a 2003, SBLS graduate. about 50 organisations. We also have a series of talks by careers staff and invited speakers taking place throughout the semester. You could come along to a seminar to sharpen up your interview technique or you could try a There’s no time like the Present practice aptitude test. Cathryn Arrowsmith of the Careers Service explains more about their weekly careers presentations How can I fi nd out more? We produce a Careers Service Guide which I hope by now you have received your copy later to be able to track your commitment to Details of the presentations this semester will tell what’s going on during the year. of “Help and advice for your future career” securing a job with them or it may be as a can be found in “Help and advice for Every fi nal year student should have their and so perhaps are wondering, what can the result of an answer to a question or a casual your future career”, on our website - own copy in their departmental pigeon-hole. Careers Service do? Well, one thing we do aside to an image on a screen. portal.surrey.ac.uk/careers or you can email If it’s not there, try your departmental offi ce is arrange for you to meet employers. So a presentation is a research tool, but it is me [email protected]. You can fi rst and then the Careers Service. We have Getting “that job” is about active also a lot more. And I ’m not referring to the also fi nd them in barefacts each week. loads of spare copies for students who are engagement in a two way process. You free drinks and food, which are sometimes new to Surrey as well. need to fi nd out as much as you can about provided! If you were to attend a lot of Coming Up in Week 2 at a prospective employer, just as they will presentations, as I do , you would be struck the Careers Service Where is the Careers Service? want to fi nd out about you. At the end of by how refl ective they are of a company and In case you haven’t visited us before, we the day both parties take something on trust its’ ethos. They give you a chance to get Chosing a Career live next to the Accommodation Offi ce in and draw inferences, but employers seek a feel for what your working life might be MONDAY 15TH SEPTEMBER 2003 the Philip Marchant Building. We are open to minimise this risk by maximising their like. There is usually an opportunity to chat between 9am and 12.30pm and between knowledge about you. You will fi nd them informally to the company representatives, 1–1.45 pm | LTF 1.30pm and 5.30pm though we close at 5pm very thorough, using written applications, who are often a mixture of recent recruits Dr Russ Clark, Head of the Careers on Fridays and during vacations. aptitude tests and assessment centres as well and more senior managers. You will be Service, will suggest a number of ways as interviews to fi nd information. Take steps able to decide whether you would like these to help you to make a good career choice. Is it OK to just to drop in? to even the score. people as colleagues, plus you may get tips He will include examples of careers open Of course - you don’t even have to talk to How to fi nd an employer? Your fi rst step on do’s and don’ts at interview. to graduates who want to consider jobs anyone but we are there to help if you need will inevitably be, fi nd the vacancy, but then We are repeatedly told we live in a unrelated to their degrees. us. The fi rst thing you will see when you the work begins. Most employers have a knowledge-based economy, so information website. Go to it. Do you feel encouraged? has the power to impress and will make walk in are a series of fi les marked “Your The Diplomatic Service If you are still interested you are likely to you stand out from the crowd! But a fi nal degree….. What next? A browse through TUESDAY 16TH SEPTEMBER 2003 have questions and if an employer is visiting advantage you might gain from going to a the one for your degree will give you ideas 6.15pm | LTF you have a ready made opportunity to get the presentation is confi dence. If you have about what to do when you leave. If you’d Jon Benjamin, a Surrey graduate, will talk answers you need, direct. Furthermore it is struck up a relationship with an employer like to speak to a careers adviser there is about careers in the Diplomatic Service, not unusual for representatives to divulge on your own territory, you may fi nd an often someone available to deal with a short including tips on how to get in (and get information on these occasions which is not interview less daunting. Being relaxed query and if you’d like a longer chat then we on) as well as telling anecdotes from his available from any other source. This may and confi dent will help you on the road to can easily arrange a suitable time for you. own career. be a deliberate policy, because they want success. 11 September 2003 UNION FEATURE - RAG 11 RAG - Raising and Giving As the University semester begins, RAG Chairperson Zoe Kilb explains just exactly what Last academic year RAG raised nearly £8967.71 RAG is and why it really is worth getting involved for Charity! Here’s where the money went to:

Breakthrough Breast Cancer - £2508.99 Funding research into the causes and the cure of Breast Cancer. Calling all 2nd and fi nal year students! 3. Send us an email [email protected] Looking for something fun and fulfi lling to 4. Just turn up at any of our events – you’ll fi ll up the year? Need something to put on always be welcome! Meningitis Research Foundation - £2262.91 your CV? Want to have a last bit of student- Fighting death and disability from meningitis and septicaemia through fuelled fun before leaving University? Want To fi nd out more visitwww.ussu.co.uk/rag research, and supporting people affected by these diseases. something more than your degree? Look out in future editions of Barefacts RNIB (The Royal National Institute for the Blind)- £1,000 THEN JOIN RAG for details of our up and coming events. Providing support and services for Blind and Partially Sighted people in the UK as well as campaigning and raising awareness of issues affecting these What? photograph by chris hunter people. RAG stands for Raising and Giving, and the RAG Society aims to raise as much money Riding for the Disabled Association – Brockenhurst Branch as possible for loads of different charities - £1,000 and good causes, whilst having as much fun Giving disabled people the opportunity to get to know horses and ponies and as possible. ride them, as well as helping to raise their confi dence and self esteem.

Why? Disability Challengers - £1,000 There are many great reasons to join RAG Providing play, art, drama and music activities for disabled children and here are just a few of them: young people in Surrey. Voluntary Work looks great on your CV Great new friends and some excellent NACC (The National Association for Colitis and Crohn’s disease) memories - £1,000 The opportunity to learn new skills including Helping people in the UK who suffer from Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn’s teamwork, and event organisation Disease (two forms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome). The opportunity to learn about Charities and the Law Help the Aged - £195.81 You get to do something for a good cause Working to combat poverty, reduce isolation, defeat ageism and challenge and feel great about yourself poor standards in care for elderly people in the UK. You get to travel around the UK for free! (This term alone RAG are travelling to Huge well done to the RAG Committee, especially Catherine Marshall Windsor, Birmingham and Manchester) last year’s Chairperson, a massive thank you to everyone who took It’s lots of fun! part in last year’s events and a humungous thank you to everyone who donated! When? RAG events take place all around the year, with the highlight being RAG week. This is Last year’s Victorian RAG Raid in Guildford High Street a whole week dedicated to RAG which takes place in the second semester.

How? We raise money in a variety of ways including street collections, sponsored sporting events, pub-crawls, quizzes and more! Our fi rst event will be a street collection in aid of Breast Cancer Campaign in Guildford Town Centre on Saturday 4th October.

Get involved! Second and fi nal years it’s not too late to get involved! It’s never too late to join RAG. Whether you want to come along to every weekly meeting and get yourself on the committee or you just want to come along to one collection, you’re welcome!!

There are four easy ways you can get involved! 1. Come along to our next meeting: Tuesday 16th Sept 6pm TB 6. 2. Come and visit us at our Freshers Fayre Stand on Wednesday 23rd September.

LITERATURE FESTIVAL FEVER Literature Editor Jennifer Matt Badcock takes a trip Walker wonders what’s to Glastonbury festival, more important in a good whilst Andrew Malek book - a good story or a brings us some of the deep meaning? delights of Reading 2003 Terminator 3 - Fantasy or Reality? Chris Ward takes a trip to the Odeon, and is pleasantly surprised by the third installment of the Terminator trilogy

It would be interesting to see how the script quite his style), he proceeds to complete for this fi lm developed. Imagine a board his mission to protect Connor and Miller. meeting of executives, discussing all the Kristanna Loken puts up an excellent effects and events that could unfold. One performance as the Terminator sent to kill of them suddenly stands up, silences the the future leaders of the resistance. With rest, and says “look, trilogies always tend her stern facial expression and piercing to push it. If we don’t take the piss out of “I’m constantly pissed off” eyes, she this fi lm, then everyone else will”. And thus succeeds in scaring the pants off the male Terminator 3 is born, opening with the usual audience. format. A terminator is sent back in time Perhaps the scariest thing about the entire to kill John Connor (the kid from T2) and fi lm is the utter accuracy of the content. all his future leaders in the resistance. In The two Terminators are science-fi ction, order to try and stop this happening, another and are merely speculation about what Terminator (reprogrammed to do good) cybernetic beings may be in the future. is sent back to protect two in particular But the concept of intelligent systems – John Connor (Nick Stahl) and his future is very much alive, and the gap between lieutenant in the resistance, Kate Miller now and the time we do start to rely on (Claire Danes). them to co-ordinate large tasks is slowly A comical entrance from Arnold closing. Terminator 3 is a proud attempt Schwarzenegger sees him entering a at a second prequel, and the one-liners strip club to fi nd clothing and a mode of and odd humorous gags help to discard transport. After acquiring his clothes from the cheesy side of the storyline and make an overly-camp male stripper (and fi nding the fi lm one to remember. that the “Elton John” sunglasses aren’t M.A.S.H. (1969) Classic– Humour Inof The the Face Week Of War Film Editor Neil Boulton takes us down memory lane with a visit to that classic of classics, M.A.S.H.

Director: Robert Altman mainly due to the fi lm’s unique feel and that studio bosses wouldn’t interfere with Gould, who front the proceedings with an Starring: Donald Sutherlan, Elliot Gould dark subversive nature. However the fact it his fi lm. amusing dead pan yet care-free demeanour. spawned a long running Sit-com (The Sit- Along with its anti-establishment leanings Altman’s style of shooting is also worthy The (Anti)war fi lm M.A.S.H. concerns the com was much lighter in tone and featured there are also accounts of blasphemy and of praise, using zoom lenses to get shots adventures of a pair of rebellious surgeons different actors in roles from the fi lm) can’t indications of the doctors strong moral of actors whilst they’re in the thick of in the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical have damaged the fi lm’s stance, their focus as things. This came about from the fi lm’s Hospital, who try to remain sane in the face standing against the doctors rather than very improvisational shoot where actors of the carnage of the Korean war going on test of time. Due to it’s soldiers, distancing were often fi lmed without knowledge of the around them. But for the two surgeons, with low budget the fi lm has themselves from the camera’s whereabouts. The pace of the fi lm the informal tags of Hawkeye and Trapper a strong documentary army and acting as is more tortoise than hare, this in addition to remaining sane involves a fair dose of essence to it, this works well in conscientious objectors there to help it’s loose structure and ambling plot means madness. The view and lifestyle is shared by it’s favour and the technique was people. The fi lm doesn’t appear to you probably can’t just randomly pick it up their colleagues and most of their superiors, new angle at the time, helping have much symbolism but parallels the and watch, the right frame of mind may be with the only folk objecting to the medical to highlight the horrors amongst Vietnam war (The fi lmmakers removed in order. But if you want to watch something team’s efforts to lead some kind of normal the humour. The cast were all as many references to fact the fi lm took humorous in the face of adversity, yet real, life are the regular army offi cers on the relatively unknown, for many it place in the Korean war as possible) then I highly recommend you watch this. outside and newly commissioned to their was their fi rst fi lm, in addition it and the inter-company football match unit. Drink, debauchery and golf help them was one of the fi rst works of now held in the fi lm seems to work well as Theme War, Comedy deal with fi xing soldiers from the fi eld and renowned director Robert Altman an analogy for war itself. the rampage of army bureaucracy. and it’s success helped launch the The picture may not be to everyone’s Rating 15 When this fi ctitious account of war on careers of Donald Sutherland and taste, as mentioned earlier, the Running the front lines was released 30 years ago it Elliot Gould (Hawkeye and Trapper humour is very dark and at times you received critical and commercial acclaim, respectively). While it’s low budget might be able to casually mistake Time 111 minutes from fi ve nominations it successfully may have helped maintain realism it it for a war time documentary. Watch Black Comedy scooped itself an Oscar for it’s screenplay (It also meant Altman could make the An excellent turn is put in by this if Vietnam-era war films was nominated for best picture). Nowadays fi lm he wanted as he operated the whole cast, especially by A darker version of you like the fi lm remains popular with a cult status, under 20th century Fox’s radar so the two leads Sutherland and Sgt Bilko 11 September 2003 LITERATURE 15

A Good Story or a Deep Meaning? LiteratureWar and Peace? Harry Potter? Literature Editor Jennifer Walker takes a look at what really defines a literary classic. Interview with What would you defi ne as a good book? One which tells Psychoanalysis in literature has also decreased in a tale that gets you so engrossed in it such that you cannot popularity as well. This can be deduced from the fact that put it down, or one which is has something to say about in the modern age the state of the world is so depressing! the Vampire humanity and the nature of the world? Most people will It depresses us to analyse too much, so we choose to forget answer yes to the latter if they were asked what makes good about it. We turn to fi lm, TV and books for escapism, so literature; however, say you had to choose between “War one does not want to read about the state of the world and and Peace” and “Harry Potter”? Sales fi gures suggest that a the disturbing thing that is human nature. The public want - Anne Rice - captivating story which has little or no underlying meaning to be entertained! So instead of a method of education tends to be the more popular choice. This poses another and a way to learn about the nature of the world, literature “Interview with the Vampire” is the fi rst of many books question then; are people still interested in “true” literature? has become a form of entertainment. But maybe we do in the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, made famous by Personally I boycotted Harry Potter and other modern not need to learn about the world from a book? With kids the fi lm in 1994 (starring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise). Anne bestsellers because they did not have anything to say (plus learning to be streetwise from an early age, by the time Rice’s books have been growing in popularity ever since, sometimes I can be a literary snob), but after the torture that we can appreciate the classics, they have nothing new to and I can see why. was James Joyce, I caved in to modern bestsellers when I offer us. So at the end of the day, this fallacious dichotomy The book starts off with Louis, a vampire, telling his story was given an Anne Rice book at Christmas. And although of “good” versus “popular” literature depends on the time of his life to a young reporter. In 1791, just outside of New it was considerably longer than the former, I could not put and what the society wants from it. For the modern day Orleans, he was made into a vampire by the alluring and it down and fi nished it within a series of days. But would I generation that factor is entertainment value. evil Lestat, yet his compassion could not stop Louis feeling say her book was a classic? They certainly have cult status, a tremendous disgust for feeding. Yet things change when yet I doubt they will be taught to future GCSE students. Claudia, an orphaned child is made into their vampire Don’t get me wrong, I found a lot of meaning and daughter. Eventually Louis and Claudia break free from philosophy behind “A portrait of a young man as Lestat and travel in search of others of their kind; a journey an artist”, but that does not mean I was not bored which only ends in tragedy. to death! The story dwells on the confl ict between his feelings However there are good classics out there that for his victims and his need for blood (and the guilt that will grip the reader as well as having something inevitably brings), and his love, hatred and passion for to say; for example, “Picture of Dorian Gray” by his fellow vampires, Lestat, Claudia and Armand. There Oscar Wilde (but who does not like Oscar Wilde?) and is such a seductive beauty, and horror in all her Homer’s “The Oddysey” (which is debatable though, characters that you are moved by the events that but also depends on the translation of the text). Maybe occur in the book; the tragedy of Claudia’s eternal the fact that there is a signifi cant distinction between childhood and her pained desire to be a woman “classic” literature and modern are to do with the gives a feeling of depth into the book along with development of human communication. Linguistics the passion and pain of Louis and the frivolous have developed over time, as have writing styles; selfi shness of Lestat. Anne Rice creates an so perhaps the modern writer has just got better at alternative universe in which one is pulled down into; writing a story that will interest the modern reader. her descriptions of 18th century New Orleans As people, us modernists are rather impatient and do and 19th century Europe are so vivid and not really “like” to think too much (true, this seems like fascinating, not allowing any moment for the a stereotype but if you compare ourselves to the 18th reader to be bored. Forget the conventional century reader we are), much to the fault of modern TV and image of the hammer horror vampires with no cinema. We want our stories “WHAM BANG SLAM”, full souls or refl ection who are repelled by crucifi xes and of action and adventure and most importantly at a really garlic; the vampires of Anne Rice are disturbingly human. fast pace. It is a book that is beautifully described and sensually written but be wary of the curse of Anne Rice, for one is never enough. After the fi rst taste you will feel compelled to devour her books, every last one. I am the world to one: Jennifer Walker | Literature Editor All things dark and beautiful come from me. Delusions of Adequacy. Lacking the control I so desire, Unable to stop the torrid rains from coming, by Katy Saunders Always coming to wash away pain and hate and sin Theatre Section The sin we are all guilty of. Watch out for the theatre section in the I stumblingly believe I am worthwhile I am the world. I am the truth. coming week’s barefacts, where Theatre But know that I am not. I am the light. We are all borne of light, Editor Daisy Clay will be introducing some In the violent misgivings of hatred And yet so many shelter in the comfort of the hidden theatrical gems from in and I lie confused and broken - That the darkness can bring. Like a vase thrown in a heated rage - around Guildford as well as reviewing Broken and forgotten and never again perfect. Cover me in a shroud darkness and peace plays from Guildford’s very own Yvonne Never let me go. I am not worthy. Arnaud Theatre and interviewing some of the hottest stars around. 16 MUSIC 11 September 2003

Dashboard Confessional performing live THE KEYS THE RAPTURE LOVE YOUR SONS & DAUGHTERS Music Ratings HOUSE OF JEALOUS LOVERS This Too Pure Mercury Records week’s singles music is Retro riffs open, creating pure The Rapture have caused reviewed rock n roll seen recently by the outstanding somewhat of a storm as one of by one of likes of BRMC and the Strokes, the most exciting new bands barefacts’ new but The Keys add Beach Boys around, with The House Of Music Editors, Matt harmonies in stylish Love Your Jealous Lovers illustrating this Badcock. If you want with their fantastically fresh Sons & Daughters. Defi nitely excellent to become part of the in the crop of new talent and punk-house-funk sound. Lively Music Team, then keep including the obligatory The disco beats accompany guitars good an eye open in barefacts for before their name have all the while rip soaring punk vocals details of the first Music Team making of a top band but must make The Rapture essential meeting of the year in a few fi nd even stronger songs. With listening. average weeks time. this early glimpse and the up coming release of self-titled debut LP theirs so no doubt poor THE WISDOM OF HARRY they can unlock The Key to CRASH HELMET success. Matador Records ELBOW Mellow, Crash Helmet off the CAST OF THOUSANDS proceeding album Torch Division V2 Music uses twinkle guitars and a soft voice complementing the low Following the acclaimed 2001 tempo and eloquent lyrics. debut album Asleep In The DASHBOARD Vocals provided by Pete Astor Back, Elbow aim to recreate and CONFESSIONAL fl oat away, carried off just by build on this success. An un- A MARK A MISSION A BRAND A their innocent sound and obvious accomplishable challenge, not SCAR | Vagrant underlying talent at what they do. for these lads from Manchester who have had more knock American soft rockers, backs than the applicants of pop Dashboard Confessional idol, defying the odds with this pack in loads of heartfelt skilfully crafted album showing lyrics with inoffensive their Mercury prize nominated accompaniment. The entire debut album was no fl uke. Guy album includes one above Garvey’s vocals hit chilling average track after another, point, delivering the lyrics to with the catchy tunes and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club excellent single Not A Job with effective production delivering LONGVIEW livelier melodies combined Guy Garvey of Elbow a pristine LP, too perfect? MERCURY with powerful chorus producing Well it just about managers 14th Floor Records a quiet beautiful blend of to maintain some spontaneity emotional rock and moving song with Chris Carrabba’s charmed Debut release from Manchester writing. From the descriptive vocals. Many of a story is told based Longview brings early Ribcage to the brooding including Hand Down where comparisons to the likes of The epic Grace Under Pressure Chris describes of his joy and Doves and Elbow. Delicate, seeing the Glastonbury crowd happiness the sort of mushy expressive rock binds the album ‘singing We Believe In Love, thing that would be played together with the immaculate So Fuck You’ endorses Cast Of on the likes of an American Further breezing along that Thousands as a truly exceptional Pie soundtrack. Not taking initially signalled Longview’s album. As the top albums of anything away from A Mark arrival on the scene with this 2003 are put together at the A Mission A Brand A Scare piece of fantastic, eloquent end of the year expect to see is a good album within its rock. New single, Can’t Explain Elbow fi guring heavily with its young American soft- carries on the mellow tones with moody and atmospheric sound rock genre but is less descriptive lyrics delivered by converting even the most sceptic innovating than the succulent ambience of Mc music cynosure to sample the other current Vey’s vocals. Not just content wonderful delights of Elbow. releases. at the laid back emotional tracks When You Sleep sees a faster BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB tempo with Longview able to TAKE THEN ON, ON YOUR OWN take the perfect elements and Virgin execute it wonderfully. Mercury contains beautiful melodies, After the successful self titled debut album BRMC release their broody vocals and catchy lyrics second album Take Then On, On Your Own. The leather jacket that make Longview accessible wearers have oozes of style and rock with their drowning bass to all with this all-round gem. electrifying each track. First single off the album Stop, has it all rock n roll riffs tearing through the track with bags of attitude from beginning to end. Trade mark guitars and echo vocals are the essence of BRMC stamping their unrivalled style throughout the album. The albums energetic Six Barrel Shotgun carries on the vibe at a lashing pace with rapid vocals. The Black Rebel Motorcycle club have taken on the world and succeeded with their second album fi rmly cementing BRMC unequivocally relevant and necessary. 11 September 2003 MUSIC 17

In this new feature, a classic album will be reviewed classic album that has defi ned an era or has inspired and changed the way music is perceived and made, one september such album is Roni Size Represent’s New Forms. 11th Har Mar Roni Size Represent New Forms | Talkin’ Loud Superstar - Portsmouth gigs Wedgewood Rooms Like a bullet from a gun this noise came 12th James Taylor Quartet - Mean from nowhere taking everyone by surprise. Fiddler Released in 1997 New Forms tore through 14th The Rolling Stones - Wembley Arena Brit pop rejuvenating the Drum and Base scene 18th Ladytron - London Astoria with its fresh and unique blend of insane beats th and catchy loops that blew the critics away. The 19 Rancid - Brixton Carling Academy Guardian at the time said that “ New Forms is to it’s 22nd Fun Lovin’ Criminals - Guilford Civic genre as Bob Marley and The Wailers ‘Catch A Fire’ 23rd Big Brovaz - Carling Academy was to Reggae 25 years ago”. With this praise and the 25th 50 Cent - Wembley Arena Want to culmination of Roni Size picking up the Mercury Music 27th Cooper Temple Clause - Carling Academy be part Prize for best album beating off Radiohead’s highly rated OK Computer album, Roni Size was on the up. Masterpiece 30th Mark Owen - Carling Academy of the Barefacts Music Team? For Brown Paper Bag became a club hit with its unrivalled bass more details, email Matt rhythms belted out at a supersonic pace. The lush Heroes sees the at [email protected], or tempo drop to reveal the beautiful vocals of Onallee with trade mark just turn up to the meeting beats kicking in taking it to another level. Delving deeper than the in the USSU Media defi ning singles we fi nd Destination (that’s no album fi ller) using Centre at 5.15pm sampled vocals and repeating beats are expertly crafted. New Forms on Mondays has two key elements that separate it from the rest. It was highly innovative for its time and secondly was produced to near perfection incorporating imaginative beats and atmospheric vocals that were to Robbie change and progress the scene to new levels. m.b. WilliamsLive at Knebworth Music Editor Jon Allen gives his take on Robbie’s live performance at Knebworth in August

I doubt that many of you would have failed to notice stage, stand out tracks including Honey and the truly Robbie Williams: The so called King of Pop that our Robbie was putting on some kind of a show awesome Bodyrock. Moby did indulge himself with what this summer. For those of you fortunate enough to he described as his ‘masturbatory guitar solo’ and also have avoided the hype, including ridiculous newspaper stormed through his version of the Bond theme. articles about how crap everything was, here’s a quick refresher: Somewhere close to 370,000 people crammed Finally, at 8:30, the opening to Let Me Entertain You into Knebworth over 3 days to see Robbie Williams, kicked up, and the video screens pulled apart to reveal supported each time by The Darkness, Kelly Osbourne, Robbie suspended from the ceiling by his feet. The Ash and Moby. I left home at 7a.m. and arrived home at show was as varied as it gets, ranging from a rocked up 5a.m. the following morning. I spent 7 and a half hours version of Take That’s Back for Good, (featuring Mark standing in a fi eld facing in the same direction because Owen) to the section where Mr Williams magically there was no space to move, let alone sit down, all this transformed into a shite pub singer, backed by Max resulting in a rather sunburnt left hand side of my face! Beesley on piano. At points he did seem desperately Was it all worth it? Hell yes! Proceedings began at 3: in need of attention (“Sing me love, Knebworth” etc.) 30p.m. when The Darkness strutted onto the stage. They and was close to tears when listening to 125,000 people played for a measly 25 minutes, 10 of which were spent singing Strong back at him. He took the opportunity to jamming through Love On the Rocks With No Ice while make jibes at Oasis (strumming the fi rst few chords of the crowd attempted to copy Justin’s comedy falsetto. Wonderwall – “The only time you’ll hear this song on a Not a patch on their triumphant display at our very own third night at Knebworth”), Justin Timberlake, Ant and Union in May, but it still got the ball rolling. Next up Dec amongst others. He grabbed a girl from the crowd was Kelly Osbourne, who can’t hold a note to save her and kissed her at length. He gyrated with his troupe of life and sings songs about masturbating. Enough said. dancers. He showed the crowd his arse. Oh, and he sang Ash righted Kelly’s wrongs by playing a greatest hits a few more tunes. Kids rocked and Rock DJ was in a set, including the superb Kung Fu, and my personal class of its own. Some of the Escapology album tracks favourite, A Life Less Ordinary. The latter was greeted were disappointing, but Robbie could do no wrong. Over by rapturous, errm, blank faces all around, although the the 2 hours, he proved that he is without a doubt Britain’s crowd response was much better to Burn Baby Burn best showman. He certainly knows how to work a crowd, and Oh Yeah. Ash’s summery pop rock was followed even of this immense size. Is this where he peaks? Only by Moby’s melodic big-beat eclecticism. This was time will tell… where most of the crowd started to take notice of the 18 FESTIVALS SPECIAL 11 September 2003 Festivals: Glastonbury 2003

One half of Barefacts’ new Music Editorial Team, Matt Badcock visits Glastonbury Festival, and gives us his take on all the acts, including Electric 6, a surprisingly impressive David Gray and The Thrills.

Feeder

Ladder’ shone with the wonderful ‘Babylon’ and ‘Please Forgive Me’ showing David Gray is a real Friday talent. Tonight’s headliner on the Pyramid stage can only be described as colossus, with over twenty More than 120,000 people congregated on Michael Eavis’s years in the business and twelve albums under the sleepy Somerset farm for one of the world’s greatest festivals. belt the legendary R.E.M. (*****) hit the stage to a Hailing an exciting line up that spans over nine stages for huge ovation. Stipe set out his intentions with great three days it cannot fail to offer something for everyone from enthusiasm, with a greatest hits album out soon the Dance, Jazz and new talent to some of the world best bands. hits kept rolling from ‘Losing My Religion’, ‘One Glastonbury is unlike any other with a vibe, unrivalled I Love’, to the emotional ‘Everybody Hurts’. A spirit and atmosphere that makes it unique. The balance world class set was performed with energy from of top acts and diverse culture experienced culminated in a band who have nothing to prove but proved this year’s event selling out in just over a day, boasting the it all with Stipe’s trademark lively performance best line up for years Glastonbury was treated to an action climaxing with the energetic ‘Its The End Of The ‘Karma Police’ illustrated Radiohead’s peak, seen at their packed weekend. After sampling the delights of Har Mar World As We Know It’ greeted by a roar from the ecstatic last performance in 1997 but what we see before us is a Superstar’s (***) body pumping and fl irtatious dancing the crowd. more wiser experimental Radiohead and for this have to be Manumission girls the Other stage was treated to Mercury admired. Knowing the ever-popular ‘Creep’ was not coming Prize nominees Athlete (****). With their attractive rock out to play the wonderful ‘Fade Out’ more than made up for pop they stamped some quality on the proceedings with its absence as the set came to a fi tting close. excellent singles ‘El Salvador’ and ‘Westside’ off the delightful debut album ‘Vehicles & Animals’. The aptly saturday named Other stage was the scene of pandemonium as Electric 6 (**) took the stage to perform a set carried by two Saturday saw one of the hottest new bands from the shores singles ‘Danger High Voltage’ and the fabulous ‘Gay Bar’ of Ireland, The Thrills (****) with their Californian which sent the fans wild. Next up were those Scottish likely infl uenced style bringing out the sunshine to the anticipating sunday lads Idlewild (***) once criticised, as an REM tribute band Other Stage. With the exciting summery sounds from debut The fi nal day (Sunday) saw the thrashing anthems ofFeeder can stand tall after the acclaimed third album ‘The Remote album, ‘So Much For The City’ performed in confi dent (****) bringing the fl ocks to the Pyramid stage on the back Part’. Launching into ‘You Held The World In You’re Arms’ style gleaming singles ‘Big Sur’ of the excellent then ‘Wooden Ideas’ deserved a greater response than they and ‘Santa Cruz’ hit all the right ‘Comfort In Sound received. The radio friendly David Gray (*****) loved by notes. The Pyramid stage just Moby: in a space suit? LP’. Feeder plough couples everywhere for his mushy ballads was the surprise about managed to accommodate through hits ‘Just The of the festival as my prejudice was crushed by his luscious the twenty-three members of Way I’m Feeling’ vocals creating an exquisite sound. The quality of ‘White the red robed Polyphonic Spree and ‘Buck Rodgers’ (****) unleashing their party vibe to the delight of the David Gray: radio friendly and talented and over exuberant noise. The child-crowd surfers gospel choir element and stage in what was an presence have made the Spree a outstanding set. The fi rm favourite with uncontrollable weekends fi rst trip arm waving and cheerful tunes. into dance tent was As the sun drew in Glastonbury motivated by the turned surreal with two giant Roots (***) whose sunshine’s perched on the front soul hip-hop bought of the sage surrounded by an a refreshing change artillery of fur-clad animals. showcasing superb The arrival of the Flaming single ‘Seed’. The Lips (****) ensued a tyrant of baldhead maestro giant balloons as the dynamic that is Moby (***) Wayne Coyne came to concur was more surprised Glastonbury with his charisma than most that he and showmanship, and that he took the traditionally did. A potential headline acts ‘old legend’ Sunday themselves the Lip’s showcased the break through album night headline slot. Best known for No.1 album ‘Play’ ‘Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots’ with the excellent tracks ‘Porcelain’ and ‘Why Does My Heart Feel So ‘Yoshimi Part 1’ going down a storm. An uncharacteristic Bad’ make up the backbone of the night’s performance. smiling Tom Yorke peeps into the spotlight to a rapturous Not that long ago Moby was playing raves and releasing ovation from the eagerly awaiting masses. Showcasing latest house tracks some of which were incorporated, including album ‘Hail To The Thief’ Radiohead’s (*****) fi rst single club anthem ‘Go’. Bringing the festival to a close, cheeky off this LP ‘There There’ marked their arrival. The electric Moby played the unwanted Radiohead track ‘Creep’ to the ‘Idioteque’ blasted the pyramid stage into another galaxy delighted crowd rounding off a weekend of fi ne weather while ‘No Surprises’ was quiet beautiful. OK computers and even better music. 11 September 2003 FESTIVALS SPECIAL 19

Andrew Malek heads to Reading 2003 for a weekend of Rock, Metal and The Darkness...

alien ant farm catalogue pre-dates ‘Enema of the but because of the crowd. These metallica - for many the highlight of reading 2003 State’, ignoring all but ‘Dammit’ Fat Wreck superstars seem to have from their genre defi ning album been forgotten about by the trend- ‘Dude Ranch’. Unfunny and following audience who inhabited disappointing are not words that the stage throughout the day, and one would use to describe Sparta the fact that their sing along parts (*** 1⁄2) though… Well, maybe are met with a deafening silence unfunny, but they pack a serious are testament to that. Closing punch, picking up where At the the stage, Pennywise (*****) Drive In left off. Linkin Park cannot fail, even though they are (*) end the evening, and get one competing with AFI (**) over star for the amusement of seeing on the Radio One stage. Even people respond to their request the cheesiness of thousands of for “hardcore Linkin Park fans” kids in baggy shorts and t shirts to go crazy. screaming “Screw the perfect Six years ago it was pop punk. people, fuck, they all look the Then it was ska. Then emo. Now same” cannot detract from the

An unprecedented one-hour queue for details). Earlier in the day, the main stage wristbands on Friday means that hundreds opened with Sugarcult (***) bringing pop of 12 year olds in Bowling for Soup t- punk goodness to a hung-over congregation shirts miss their heroes. Their parents take of early birds. Biffy Clyro (**) will be not having to endure the band’s music as remembered as the band who turned their consolation for having to pacify their kids bass up so loud that it amplifi ed all of our for the remainder of the day until Linkin headaches, though in comparison to the All Park take to the stage. Less Than Jake American Rejects (No *s) they are god- (*** 1⁄2) look entertaining by comparison, like. Unfortunately, the crowd doesn’t care despite not being a patch on the performance Reading enough about AAR to bestow upon them the they delivered 4 years ago. Alien Ant Farm same fantastic bottling that Good Charlotte (****) provide an overfl owing tent with their (*) received. Perhaps the organisers will hilarious brand of pop rock, from ‘Movies’ take this as a message and decide NOT to through to ‘Smooth Criminal’, they have the book Busted next year. crowd in the palm of their hands. Hell is for Heroes (***) are an above Buck 65 (*****) is defi nitely on something, average band on a line-up that has so far wide-eyed and paranoid, his head dashes yielded very little, and whilst they are around in confusion as a smoke machine extremely tight, their stage presence detracts behind him emits its fog, the dance stage from their overall performance. Surprisingly, won’t see a better act all weekend which is the Radio One stage is relatively empty for more than can be said about Staind (*). Hot Hot Heat (***), and as soon as they “Give me a D” – “D!” “Give me an Festival play ‘No, Not Now’, a steady procession Arkness” – “ARKNESS!”. It’s band of the of the audience heads for the exit. System moment, The Darkness (*****). Mixing of a Down (****) are fantastic, playing AC/DC riffage and Queen harmonies, it’s a smattering of tunes from each of their hard to believe that they’ve only sprung albums to leave nobody disappointed. from obscurity a month ago. Blackalicious There can only ever be one band of the (*****) certainly impress, with their weekend, and that is Metallica (*****). old-skool beats coupled with lighting Bar SOAD, the line-up for Sunday had fast rhymes. ‘Chemical Calisthenics’ is a been rather dire, one wonders if this was science geek hip-hop fan’s paradise, whilst intentional. For two and a half hours the ‘Make You Feel That Way’ chills out the band belt out epic after epic, culminating dance stage as the sunsets. Unfunny and in possibly the best ever effort of bringing disappointing, Blink 182 (**) have a nice 2003 studio effects to a live stage with ‘One’, and stage show, but unfortunately not the tunes hardcore seems to be the fl avour of the awesome power of anthemic closer ‘Bro the inevitable ‘Enter Sandman’ signalling to back it up. They forget that their back moment with Funeral for a Friend (****) Hymn’, which is sung all the way back to the end of Reading 2003. veterans King Prawn (**** 1⁄2), Thrice the campsites. (****) and Poison the Well Derby punks Lightyear must be (****) impressing the hardcore commended for attempting Hell is for Heroes moshers. The Movielife to hold the fi rst show of (***) are disappointing, their break-up tour in a though ‘This Time gazebo in their campsite Next Year’ is a defi nite after midnight, even highlight of the day if it did only last mid while The Streets (**) way through second were a surprise hit last song ‘Kid Dynamite’ year, but fail to make the before being broken up transition from the dance by security. It seemed tent to the main stage. The that Sunday was the day songs sound dull and lifeless, for such randomness, as Skinner’s portrayal of urban life hundreds of festivalgoers faded and boring, and his obsession descended upon the doughnut with starting a “crazy mosh” bizarre. van of a vendor who looks like pro wrestler The biggest disappointment of the day is Hulk Hogan to worship him (see http: Lagwagon (****) not because of the band, //www.readinghogan.cjb.net/ for more 20 INTERACTIVE 11 September 2003 Word Search b fpub quiz This year barefacts is proud to announce the return of the wordsearch to the Interactive Page. It’s pretty simple really - all you need to do is see which words you can fi nd hidden What does VHS stand for? in the grid below. Answers (still upside down) on the opposite page. This week’s wordsearch 1 appears with thanks to Ben Berryman and Anthony ‘Deano’ Dean. In Cricket, what does the B stand for in LBW? Clue :- It’s a bit cheesy.... 2 Which3 cartoon character exclaimed, “Drat and double drat”? F X R B A C A E R P H I L L Y Which two New York boroughs begin with B? E T T A L E C L O D M P I F Z 4 K Y K Q O A A A Q C Q F C X P 5In which country were the 1990 football world cup fi nals held? G O F D Z T D D P A Q S O U X Which island has Needles off its west coast? Q S N H N U A Y T I B A Z G Y 6 B R I E O P U E K U F P S Q M 7What are the main two ingredients of a Bloody Mary? H G M G G V F L N I A U N T Y 8The Gobi desert is in which continent? M M E G R E B S L R A J G E S Who uncrossed their legs to much ado in “Basic Instinct”? E B J W O K H N M E T N P C X 9 J G Y D G N I E Z G T H H P B 10Which Devon port has a famous Hoe? V Y F R U U S W Q O O Z A U Z What is the viral disease of rabbits? F T K W R A D D E H C A U T R 11 P F W F N M J G S T I L T O N 12How many players are there in a netball team? B J O G G J H F G Z R U X S A M D B K O F V J W V L G H K K 13Which “ology” is concerned with fossils? 14Who or what lived in Honalee? Apart from skiing, which two sports take place on a piste? And now for something 15 completely different.... What16 can be the name of a hat and a member of a cricket team? All you have to do here is unscramble each of the What boat is found on the canals of Venice? words, then take the letters 17 which appear in the boxes looking like this 18Where do Greek Gods live? ... and rearrange them to make a fi nal word! 19Which Russian city used to be called Leningrad? COTRTAR TOESOCR 20What was Mozart’s middle name? PEAH BODULE NEDDIWG NLFIG Answers to the bf pub quiz, and everything else in the Interactive NAOBJ RPTENSE section, are on page 21, cunningly hidden upside down at the bot- tom of the page...

If this has whetted your appetite, then why not pop down to Chan- nie’s for Chancellor’s Challenge, every Thursday night from answer: 8.30pm. We’ve got rounds on everything from Sport to Geography, and it’s a snip at only £1 per person. The winning teams can walk off with up to £100, but remember - it’s not the winning, it’s the taking part that counts! 11 September 2003 LIFESTYLE 21

The Lyrics Quiz

Back again due to popular demand is the barefacts lyrics quiz, which, all going to plan, Sabbatical Offi cers Ickle Sarah and Funkyberry give a random will be written each week by you, the readers. This week’s offering is by barefacts’ slice of life from their humble dwellings within Surrey Court resident Interactive Section guru, Ben Berryman, ably assisted by Anthony Wey, Battersea Court Tate, and the Students’ Union... ‘Deano’ Dean. If puzzles are your kind of thing, and you think you can write next week’s lyrics quiz, then drop an email to [email protected] and before you know it - you IT MAY COME as a bit or surprise to some BEING ON CAMPUS over the summer is will be a published writer! of you who were around last year that an interesting experience, for this is Rawson’s Creek is still here, but your eyes when whole buildings are consumed by Just fi gure out the artist and song name that these lyrics are taken from - answers below... are not deceiving you - Chris and I are still scaffolding and surrounded by endless metal here, heading into our 5th year at UniS, and barriers. Among this summer’s victims were Now tell me, do ya, do ya have any money? still hanging around on campus to bring you the library entrance, AC building, and our 1 the best, and the worst tales of University dear Battersea Court Rawson (after which Let’s go and see the stars, the Milky Way or even Mars. life. this column is named). 2 THE summer really began with the end of THINGS always go really well at the start, 3 Wherever it may take me I know that life won’t break me. an era - our departure from Battersea Court and within a few days the buildings are In which country were the 1990 football world cup fi nals held? Rawson, coinciding with its refurbishment. reduced to architectural skeletons – their 4 I only know what I’ve been working for, another you, so I could love you more. Alas, the lack of hot water, Legionairre’s guts having been ripped out and taken away Disease episodes and ants are no more. in oversized skips. There is then a middle 5 You’re my love, you’re my sweetest thing. Or so I thought. At the phase where nothing end of May I headed seems to happen for 6 When the party was nice, the party was jumpin’ (hey, yippie, yi, yo). across campus with a good number of I’ve discovered It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. my 5 car-loads of weeks. During this 7 belongings, to Surrey that trying time workman seem to I’ve been wrong, I’ve been down, to the bottom of every bottle. Court Bourne, but to my walk around pointing 8 horror, discovered none to eat a pink at things, sit drinking 9 Can we work it out? Can we be a family? other than Pharaoh’s cups of tea, and the Ants crawling around grapefruit is odd banging noise 10 Last night Jackie Chan came round, I played pool with him and we hung out. my room! The theory can be heard. But of of Brian at Reception probably not the three stages, the was that I’d taken than fi nal stage is always with me, but I’m going something one the best. As just about to subscribe to the should do in a when you think that theory that I’m just very the building will never unlucky. meeting. be fi nished before THIS summer has been the start of term, the an odd one, not least workmen spring to because I only had one week of summer life, and within a few days you have a proper holiday before heading over to the Union and building again! Well that’s meant to happen … crossing my fi ngers and toes, hoping this gets published in joining the ranks of the Sabbatical Offi cers. anyway! This week I am mostly barefacts! It’s been one crazy journey, I’ve met a lot HAVING started working in an offi ce I can of very cool people, and travelled around now get water from one of those chiller I’VE ALWAYS WANTED my own column, though I’m pushed to explain why. It’s not like I have the country to the likes of Loughborough, machines. So “great” I think to myself, a burning message, or indeed any words of wisdom to share with the world at large. I haven’t Chichester and London. Whilst up at NUS “I’ll drink lots of this nice water to become cracked the meaning of life, or the meaning of anything philosophical come to think of it. Convention in Loughborough our very healthy”. But what is the result of drinking Neither am I too hot on incisive political commentary nor social irony. Perhaps it’s too much own President Pete teamed up with Adam all this water? The result is that the number Sex and the City… get a column, a life of gallery openings, shoe shopping and girly lunches and Chris, two sabbs from Roehampton of toilet visits during the day has increased will swiftly follow. Disillusioned? Never! Guys, there’s no need for eye-rolling, breathe a (our federal partner), and during one rather exponentially, thus my drive to become sigh of relief, I’m certainly not spilling my views on male behaviour (sorry girls, I’m afraid surreal, yet sober night out, proceeded to healthy is actually having a detrimental enlightenment eludes me there as well…). ‘initiate everyone into the federation’. This effect on my work. So I have come to the BUT I’M HERE at last, able to promise only a random assortment of thoughts and opinions that involved a rather complicated process when conclusion that healthy people are ineffi cient cross my addled fi nal-year mind over the next two semesters. So let me introduce myself a they surrounded someone, spun them round offi ce workers! little. I’m defi nitely one of God’s more quirky creations, harbouring unhealthy obsessions and then did the ‘federal salute’! The boys AS with all offi ce jobs, you tend to fi nd with fairy lights, coconut-scented toiletries and lurid nail varnish alongside pathological were quite proud of themselves, until the yourself in a number of meetings, which fears of frozen reconstituted potato shapes, forward-facing train seats and bright blue next day when it turned out everyone who means I need to keep myself amused alcoholic drinks. I’ve been called a freak in my time, but I’ll compromise with fruitcake. had been supposedly ‘initiated’ thought they somehow. An easy thing to do is to create AS FOR ANGELIC… hmm… slightly more tricky perhaps. Faced with another academic year, were completely trolleyed and just messing mini works of art. The aim is to put your I’m sure I’m not the only student returning after the break resolved to work harder, to set around, when all they’d been trying to do pen on the page of your notepad, then move themselves new challenges and to at least try and acknowledge their alcoholic limits. So, full was be good, well behaved sabbaticals and it around the page, getting in as much of a of good intentions as I always am in September, here goes. Good luck everyone, who knows tell people about the Federal Uni! tangle as you can, without the pen lifting off what the year has in store for us? SO, back to campus. I moved out of my the page or crossing what you’ve already summer accommodation to Wey in Surrey drawn. Catherine Lee

Court a week ago, so I’m keeping my fi ngers WHILE this is completely harmless, I have

crossed that the ants haven’t followed me discovered that trying to eat a pink grapefruit Fu Kung - Ash 10. Portrait Family - Pink 9. Me Remind You How - Nickelback 8. Ironic -

again! After three days being the only person is probably not something one should do in a Morissette Alanis 7. Out Dogs The Let Who - Men Baha 6. Bit Little a Aah...Just Ooh - G Gina 5. Game Favourite

3. Robbie Williams - Angels 4. Cardigans - My My - Cardigans 4. Angels - Williams Robbie 3. Away Fly - Kravitz Lenny 2. Bar Gay - Six Electric 1. on my new 14 room fl oor, over the weekend meeting. For a start you need multiple plates quiz: lyrics

I was invaded (in the nicest possible way) for the peel, you have nowhere to spit the Amadeus 20. Petersberg 14. Puff the magic Dragon 15. Snowboarding and fencing 16. Bowler 17. Gondola 18. Mount Olympus 19. St St 19. Olympus Mount 18. Gondola 17. Bowler 16. fencing and Snowboarding 15. Dragon magic the Puff 14.

by around 9 foundation year students. pips, the slurping noises are distracting for Palaeontology 13. Seven 12. Myxamatosis 11. Plymouth 10. Stone Sharon 9. Asia 8. juice Tomato & Vodka 7.

1. Video Home System 2. Before 3. Dick Dastardly 4. Bronx, Brooklyn 5. Italy 6. Isle of Wight Wight of Isle 6. Italy 5. Brooklyn Bronx, 4. Dastardly Dick 3. Before 2. System Home Video 1. quiz: pub

Hopefully I’ll have fi nished designing this other people, and trying to draw mini works bf

‘ere paper soon, so I can actually head home of art with sticky dripping hands is diffi cult! barefacts.

tractor, heap, wedding, banjo, scooter, double fl ing, present. fi nal answer is, somewhat predictably, predictably, somewhat is, answer nal fi present. ing, fl double scooter, banjo, wedding, heap, tractor, and meet them properly ... pre-Union drinks I’ll just stick to eating pens instead! scramble:

round at Wey 1, guys?! wensleydale. stilton, ricotta, caerphilly, cheddar, dolcelatte, emmental, feta, goats, gorgonzola, gouda, jarlsberg, parmesan, parmesan, jarlsberg, gouda, gorgonzola, goats, feta, emmental, dolcelatte, cheddar, caerphilly, brie, wordsearch:

‘ickle sarah butterworth chris ‘funkyberry’ hunter answers: down Upside 22 LIFESTYLE 11 September 2003 TrivialPursuits Is Catherine Lee the only person in the history of student-dom to reach the age of 21 without tasting a fizzy drink? And does this hold some hidden message about her development during her formative, impressionable coca cola-free years?

UNIVERSITY HAS NEVER been about simply getting a degree. semester. What began as an innocent evening of video- me, quite frankly, odd, and most certainly not the well- Without wishing to sound too corny, it is also undoubtedly watching and munchies with a group of close friends, adjusted twentysomething adult my friends had previously a journey in personal, moral and social development. soon became a much more serious affair, with long- considered me to be. “Competition for graduate jobs has lasting implications not one of us could With a new semester now underway, I think I’ve pretty never been more fi erce” scream the have foreseen. An innocent, frivolous much sampled everything the fi zzy drink world has to offer. newspapers, and like most students remark on my part was all it took It hasn’t always been easy but I think my I’m more than aware a good degree to turn the atmosphere from friends would agree, I’m a stronger, is no longer security enough relaxed and comfortable to more-rounded [not to mention more in the fi ckle working world. awkward and tense. The sugar-dependent] individual as a The fourteen-week summer nature of this remark? result. What doesn’t kill us makes break is an ideal time to gain That I’d never tried Irn us stronger after all. For the record, work experience or indulge in Bru. Cut the amicable dandelion and burdock, Irn Bru some character-building travel. chatter; a stony silence and Tizer proved a disappointment. Indeed, the media bombard descended on the whole Frightening artifi cial colours aside, us with students’ stories of group. Unable to meet my unsuspecting taste buds found unusual summer experiences at their fi xed stares, I could themselves reeling from their this time of year. Three months feel the colour rising in overpowering cough-medicine- spent zoo-keeping in Bolivia or my cheeks. Somehow like fl avours. Cream soda was way campaigning for women’s rights I’d committed a heinous too sickly, though I was pleasantly in Guatemala will guarantee any social faux-pas. After what surprised the more subtle vanilla coke. student future employment, they seemed an eternity, the Dr. Pepper was like liquid Refreshers, imply - how else can employers questions came thick and a tad too sugary, but Cherry coke was be certain a graduate is a well- fast, a torrent of hows, a defi nite hit, and probably one of the rounded individual, more than whys, wheres and whens. few I tested that I’ll choose to drink just a piece of paper? Such Knowing glances were again in the future. adventurous tales certainly put exchanged as my (what I But enough of my personal fi zzy my summer experience - working now realise to be) pretty drink odyssey. My message is simple: in the accounts department of a much additive-free childhood don’t overlook the details. However national supermarket chain - to came under hefty scrutiny. Fifteen trivial something may seem, the fact that shame. But why should these minutes was all it took to confi rm you’re even thinking about it probably means it’s not nearly stories make me green with their worst suspicions - I was a so frivolous as you fi rst imagined. So go on, make this envy, make me kick myself that complete fi zzy drink novice, familiar year another year to remember and start clocking up those I had neither the courage nor only with the tastes of lemonade and little extra experiences that will make you stand out as an the initiative to undertake any coke. But it seems the blame for my individual at the end of your student life. challenge greater than clearing fi zzy drink ignorance could not solely As for me, further quizzing by friends has revealed fi zzy my mounting overdraft? Surely all the fall on my parents’ shoulders. True, I was drinks are only the start. So if you see me loitering in the little lessons university teaches us along the denied exposure to such sugary delights at home, crisp aisle at the supermarket, or dithering in the chocolate way play just as important a role in the graduating package. but somehow any curiosity that should have accompanied bar section in One Stop, please cut me some slack. It’s all in Take for example a moment of enlightenment I had last my adolescent years completely bypassed me. Which made the name of personal, not to mention social, development.

Fabric Club opened nearly 4 years ago in London EC1. Its 3 fl oors are home to a range of underground electronic music and it attracts people from across the UK and Europe each weekend. Fridays are Fabriclive, a weekly exploration around the cutting edges of club music known for open-minded playlists, electric live performance and as a home to the UKs thriving drum n bass scene. Fabriclive residents James Lavelle, Ali B and Joe Ransom are joined regularly by guests the Plump DJs, Scratch Perverts, Aim and Adam Freeland. FABRICLIVE hosts monthly specials from UNKLE, the Stanton Warriors, Scratch and True Playaz. Saturdays are Fabric, a showcase for underground DJ talent and accomplished live acts. Operating around house and techno, its playlists are dedicated to fresh, new beats and are appreciated by a music-loving audience. Residents at fabric are Craig Richards and Terry Francis who are joined by Hipp-E & Halo, DJ Heather, Jon Marsh, Bill Brewster, Swayzak, Slam, Pure Science and Tom Middleton. Fabric has regular nights from Wiggle, Haywire Sessions, the Amalgamation Of Soundz and Tyrant. Fabric is offering one lucky barefacts reader a season ticket for their ‘Plump DJs’ Fabriclive and ‘Tyrant’ Fabric nights which will be valid from one year after their 4th Birthday in October until 5th October 2004. All you need to do to be in with a chance is answer the following question: What birthday is fabric celebrating in October 2003? a. 3rd, b. 4th or c. 5th Email your answers to [email protected] by Monday 15th September 2003 and keep an eye out in the next barefacts to see if you’re a winner! 11 September 2003 STARS AND PERSONALS 23 the silly - Personals - It’s very simple, really. All you need to do is wait for your friends (or yourself) to do something silly, amusing or just downright strange, and then find yourself a computer or indeed a scrap of paper if technology isn’t your thing). [email protected] is the Stars email address, ‘Personals’ is the email subject, and then all you by ickle sarah and crazy chris need to do is sit back and wait for the next issue of barefacts, and the look of horror on your friends’ faces...

Virgo name is best, unless you want be about as You could well popular on campus as Judas Iscariot at a Come and see Silhouette perform songs cocktails, get a free scoop of puke to be developing an Disciple reunion. from West End Shows in aid of the take home! irrational fear of irons, Handicapped Children’s Pilgrimmage whilst starting to feel Pisces Trust (HCPT) www.uk.geocities.com/ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! X some sort of strange You slippery fi sh you! silhouette_ymt - concerts throughout attraction to the lady This week sees you sept in local area Want to be the person who designs this at the launderette. Your phobia will get getting away with all page (and others)? [email protected] in the way of your relationship, and you sorts of shenanigans. “jesus... give me credit.... i may have been will avoid the launderette for a couple of Try not to be too bad drunk.... but i still have taste” GU2...training in ALL aspects of radio for months with a broken heart and smelly though, or somebody will give you a slap EVERYONE! underwear. on the wrist. Here’s a hint – “staff coffee The Dream Team are here. But what machine” and “crushed pro-plus tablets” about the ‘mind control badges’? You can’t polish a turd! Libra should not go in the same sentence. Doing acrobatics in Oi! Beverly..... Who makes a noise like a dolphin when the amphitheatre is not Aries wahat kinda c**k uses a steering wheel they orgasm? the best way to while On Thursday, you will lock? what kinda t**t wears a neckline away those spare hours have an interesting like that? and what kinda p***k ties You can call me MR SQUIGGLES! between lectures. The incident with a demin at the d**k? Pikeys 0 - Chops 1 big chiefs of the Uni are watching from grapefruit in Tesco. You their offi ces. might want to shop at Scooter is sexy. Oi Pete! Clear our cupboard out! Sainsbury’s from now on. Scorpio Final year? I remember moving in and THEY’RE SLIPPERS! Your housemates Taurus getting drunk in my fi rst year...the only are beginning to get Remember, the walls of thing that’s changed is that now i’m Ugle - one year ago? Crazy stuff. suspicious. If you don’t shower rooms are thin. older! stop walking around You’ve started talking You know you’re in the wrong movie with an inane grin on to yourself again and Monday 5.00pm - An appointment has theater when you’re watching a trailer your face, they really won’t believe you everyone thinks you’re been made for you to see the doctor for Spy Kids 3.... when you tell them you’re ‘just friends’ not alone in there. Leave the door open next about your gas problem, Pan-ous. with your course mate for the millionth time, and maybe they’ll believe you Who could that be, lying on the stairs in time. A big shout out to the Wey 1 foundation a pool of his own vomit? Why; it’s Phil Gemini (and sabbatical) year massif! Brown on GU2! Sagittarius People are starting to Never mind, the week’s be suspicious. The I’ve seen the big wide world, please Switch on the interogation light baby, almost over. Make sure affair with you and the don’t make me go back there! and punish me! xXx you’re in the Union lecturer you have on on Friday as it’ll be an Monday mornings is Bring Back Torquay. S xx Ickle Sarah & Crazy Chris. Anyone would amazing night to cheer going to be found out!! Blaming it on your think they were having...... you up. The bottle bank is the place to be – twin may work in the short term, but may Caravan, Slag Heap, Electricity Producing and the person behind the bar has a twinkle not be a permanent solution. Windmill, Golf. You must fi sh, or be fi shed. in their eye. Mike ‘The Pike’ Fisher 1999 Cancer I’m so glad i’ve found someone to perch Capricorn Avoid that fi rst double on. Missing you loads, love Betty xxx Looks like the C Man has got a secret Keep an eye out for lecture as your professor admirer, betty the bird!! Now who is a that dishy person at is cottoning on to your Bring back FNOS..... come to think of it, proper pirate!! Pieces of 8! the Union. The stars little secret. Hanging bring back Foam Parties too - back to predict that you will around by the lake is the good old days! The Union’s First Lady is Get-Up! have a lucky night with starting to make people suspicious. Leave an Aquarian this week. Destiny says keep the ducks alone, they haven’t done anything “Aaah, you’re talking about me in in the Spank me, I’m a Freshers’ Angel away from strong mixers and alcohol (well, to you... have they? stars” “Are you a capricorn then?””no, i’m so does common sense, you’re not going to a dishy bloke!” Thanks for Friday Night - it was good pull with puke dripping down your face!). Leo getting to know your phone better! ;) This really is going to Welcome to the Univeristy of Surrey. Aquarius be a great week for you. Maybe Andy needs a spell checker for Tom, Dick, Julie and Harry You’re going to have Lectures are going well, his birthday? Are as happy as larry an unfortunate drunken Life is going well - just As long as stupid people romp with a Capricorn. stay happy! After a Here I come channies, Tuesday Night Don’t throw them out the car Try your best to keep mysterious phone call on Saturday you’ll be Super Shift...... love it! away from anyone walking around with a swing in your step I want to be Mr Potatohead so I can store who studies physics or electronics whilst – just make sure you mind the gap. Go to Bojanglez and buy 2 Phil Brown things up my arse. drinking alcohol. If that fails, using a false 24 SPORT 11 September 2003 teamsurrey Challenge Chops: Gliding In a barefacts exclusive new feature, Dave ‘Chops’ Chapman, USSU’s new Vice President Sport spends an afternoon experiencing the thrill of unpowered flight with the Gliding Club

As with a number of my Challenges, Essentially by using both control systems, my gliding experience came around in you can turn a glider more effi ciently. The conjunction with a check-up on the clubs controls work on exactly the same principles safety procedures. At least a small amount as other aircraft - from fi ghter jets to airliners of danger is inherent to all sports, especially - and hence gliding is a very good way to so for a sport such as gliding. start training for all sorts of fl ying. Fortunately for those wanting to take to the After quite a while practising turning, my skies in what can be thought of as an aircraft instructor took control and brought us in without an engine, you are not expected to for the landing. The big difference with have anything to do with take off or landing. the landing of a glider compared to landing All beginners go up in a 2 person glider in an airplane is the visibility. You are not with an experienced instructor sat behind peering out of a small window, you have full them. James and David (the club committee view of everything infront and to both sides members accompanying me) introduced me of you. This made the descent and landing a to my instructor, who in turn, introduced great experience. me to a parachute. I wasn’t entirely sure We are fortunate enough to have our if I was pleased or disturbed to be strapped very own high performance glass fi bre 2 into a parachute. On the one hand, if you do seat glider (currently undergoing routine have a problem its nice to have a parachute, maintenance) and a range of other gliders but on the other hand, it might indicate that students can hire. Members of the gliding there is serious risk of having a problem and club can fl y any day of the week (weather needing to use a parachute. I was reassured permitted) and the club will be making that the later was not the case. regular trips to local gliding centers over the I clambered into the front cockpit of the behind an airplane (very gentle) or by of a ‘bang’ and we were fl ying! The view coming weekends to provide beginners with glider and was talked through the controls. dragging it up with what is essentially a from over 2000 feet above the ground is ‘trial fl ights’. The cost for a fi rst ‘trial fl ight’ To steer, you essentially have two controls, huge winch powered by a very powerful ex- stunning. Not surprisingly, you can see for via an Aero-tow launch is approx £35 (for a control column (fl ight stick) and a pair Formula 1 engine. The theory here is your miles and the fact you are sat at the front the the daring, a winch launch is much cheaper of rudder pedals. Obviously for takeoff, I glider is attached to a winch which pulls you cockpit means you have perfect visibility. but doesn’t get you as high) with prices kept clear of all the controls. The instructor along very quickly and as you move along After a short time in the air, my instructor falling substantially for full members. More has a complete set of identical controls and the wings of the glider produce lift and you talked me though how to handle the control information about the club can be found instruments in the back and could have done rise up. The aero-tow launch is usually used column. Quite simply if you move it to the at www.TakeMeGliding.net - and new all the fl ying if I’d wished. for student’s fi rst few fl ights, but I decided right, the right wing dips down and you members are very welcome. There are a couple of methods for getting to go for the winch launch. As expected, the start moving to the right. I had previously a glider airborne. Either by towing it up 700hp engine gaves a very quick launch and imagined a glider to be a slow, unresponsive after a very short initial climb, you start to aircraft but in fact the rate of turning was climb incredibly steeply. The net result of surprisingly fast and accurate. this is you get pushed very fi rmly back and I then took control of the glider. After a down into your seat. The 0-60mph time is short time getting the glider to fl y at the right about 3 seconds. (Yes - three seconds. Try angle, I had a go at turning. With a little that in a car!) and I was at 1’000 feet in less initial hesitation about dipping the wings to than a minute. I had been warned that the the full angle, I got the glider turning to the winch launch is a quite unfamiliar sensation right. After a few more turns to either side, for people who hadn’t done a few aerotows my instructor took back control and went fi rst - this included stories about how a small in search of some thermals of rising air to number of people squeal on the way up. I’m prolong our fl ight time. glad to say I really enjoyed it! After fi nding some lift, I was introduced Once we reached the top of the launch. the to the very tricky skill of coordinating instructor released the winch cable with a bit the control column and the rudder pedals.

If you want to take part in a sport the Union doesn’t currently offer, then let us know. We Think your sport is physically or New Sports only support clubs we know there is a student demand for, so if we don’t know that you mentally demanding or simply want to do something else, we can’t help. There has been recent interest in Table Tennis different from all the rest? so we are trying to get a Table Tennis club started up. Due to enquiries, we are also trying Clubs at to get Athletics, Tennis, Mountain Biking, Swimming and Windsurfi ng running again Then why not Challenge Chops : after a period of dormancy. If you want to help run a new or revived club, get in touch to take part in your sport and with the Sports Offi ce. Some suggestions are Athletics, Cycling, Hang-gliding, Lacrosse, show exactly what is involved. Orienteering, Swimming, Tennis, Volleyball, Wakeboarding and Windsurfi ng but its entirely USSU : up to you about what you like the look of. [email protected] [email protected]