Including Venture Science Fiction

Marque and Reprisal (shorl no11el) POUL ANDERSON 5 The-Sin of Edna Schuster WILLARD MARSH 63 Mrs. Pribley's Underdog SUI! SANFORD . 68 Time and the Sphinx LEAH BODINE DRAKE 77 Science: Harmony in Heaven ISAAC ASIMOV 81 The Switch CALVIN DEMMON 92 Look Up (verse) ltAREN ANDERSON 95 The Absolutely Perfect Murder MIRIAM ALLEN deFORD 96 The Placebo Effect THEODORE L. THOMAS 105 The Deadeye Dick Syndrome ROBERT M. GREEN, JR. 106 Dialogue in a Twenty-first Century Dining· Room ROBERT F. 'YOUNG 122 In Ibis issue •.• Coming nexl monlh 4 F&SF Marketplace 129 Cover by ]ack Gaughan (illt#lrating "Marque and Reprisal")

Joseph W. Ferman, EDITOR AND PUBLISHER Isaac Asimov, SCIENCE EDITOR

Ted White, ASSISTANT EDITOR Edward L. Ferman, MANAGING EDITOR Robert P. Mills, CONSULTING EDITOR

/ The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Val•nse 28, No. Z, Whole No. 163, Fitb. 1965. Published moxtloly by Mercury Press, Inc., at 50t a copy. Annual subscription $5.00; $5.50 in Canada and the Pan American Union; $6.00 i" aU otloer countries. Publi­ cation office, 10 Ferry Strut, Concord, N. H. Editorial and general mail should be sent to 347 East 53rd St., New York, N. Y. 1002Z. Second Class postage !.aid at Concord, N.H. Pri,.ted in U.S.A. @ 1964 by Mercury Press, boc. AU rights, iOJC »ding· translations into other languages, reseTfJed. Submissions must be accompanied by stamped, self-addressed envelopes; the Publisher assumes no responsibility for return of unsolicited manuscript.<. In this issue

Ron Goulart suggested in last month's Books that Poul Anderson may someday be a generic term. We may indeed pity the reader of the future who moans that they don't write Poulandersons like they used to. Well, here's the "used to", a new novel by Mr. Anderson himself, with all the flavor and color and action of the original article. And for those who like more than one, two sequels to MARQUE AND REPRISAL have already been written especially for F&SF. The first is planned for our April issue. Not in this issue is the usual Books column. This is a temporary lapse, and next month's book reviews will be handled by Judith Merril.

Coming next month .••

. . . is a novelet by Roger Zelamy (A Rose For Ecclesiastes, Nov. 1963). This one is a deep-sea fishing story. The seas are the seas of Venus, the fish is a Leviathan monster, the charter boat is a ten-square-block raft which rents for fifty thousand dollars a day, and the story is a big, brash thriller. Even if the biggest thing you've ever hooked into was a can of tuna, we guarantee that THE DOORS OF HIS FACE, THE LAMPS OF HIS MOUTH will leave at least a few beads of perspiration on your forehead-that is, if it doesn't leave you limp with exhaustion. And good news for those who have asked for more "People" stories by Zenna Henderson. Miss Henderson has obliged and a new novelet abOut the People has been scheduled for an upcoming issue. 4 Here is the first sail of a three-vessel argosy, and ought properly to be celebrated with roasted oxen, horns of mead, and dancing in the public places of the port. It is our first Poul Anderson story since NO TRUCE WITH KINGS (June 1963), and, while com­ plete in itself, will be followed by two sequels. Poul Anderson was born in Pennsylvania in 1926; his somewhat unusual first name (vowel sound somewhere between "gulf' and ghour') derives from a Danish grandfather. "On the paternal side they seem to have been mostly sailors and such, though my father himself was an engineer; on the maternal side, professional people, including a couple of minor Romantic poets, Carsten Hauch and Henrik Hertz. At various times the family lived in Texas, Marpland, Europe, a Minnesota farm, etc. I took a physics degree at Minne­ sota, but drifted into writing and so, except for an interlude when times got lean, have only used the training to help get Science Fic­ tion backgrounds straight. Since 1953 I've lived in the San Fran­ cisco Bay Area with my wife, Karen, and daughter, Astrid, with time out for occasional traveling. My brother beats me in thtlt department; a few years ago he headed the first expedition into the Ellsworth Mountains in Antarctica. Besides Science Fiction, I've written mystery, historical, and nonfiction stuff.• And now, off we go, with Gunnar Heim of Heimdal Motors, and his desperate and heroic adventurings with the distant world of New Europe and the alien and beautiful and utterly dangerous Aleriona.

MARQUE AND REPRISAL by Poul Anderson

Le roi fait battre tambour, stride. A while he stood, turning Le roi a fait battre tambour-" his head in search of .the voice Gunnar Heim halted in mid- that had risen out of the dark. © 1964 by Poul Anderson 5 6 FANTASY AND SCIENCE PICTION "Pour voir toutes ces dames. City on the dark side, through the Et Ia premiere qu'tl a vue-" damp autumn air. It was some distance off, almost " 'Marquis, dis moi, Ia connais lost in the background of machine tu? rumble to landward of the docks. Marquis, dis moi, la connais But only one man was likely to be tu? making his mock with that sinis­ Quelle est cette jolie dame?' ter old ballad, in San Francisco Et le marquis a repondu: on -this night. 'Sire Roi, c'est ma famne.' Lui a ravi son ame. Rataplan! Rataplan! Rataplan- Rataplan! Rataplan! Rataplan­ plan-plan-plan ( plan-l'lan-plan !" Rataplan! Rataplan! Rataplan­ Heim started after the sound. plan-plan-pkin (" He could still move fast and softly Heim rounded a shed by the when he wanted to. In a moment pier and saw the minstrel. He sat his ears picked up the ring and on a bollard, looking · out across snarl of a guitar played in anger. the water, a man more small and "Rataplant Ratapla1Z! Rataplan- shabby than expected. His fingers plan-plan-plan !" . leaped across the twelve strings as Warehouses bulked black on his if attacking an enemy, and the right. At this hour not very long moon gleamed off tears on his before dawn, the city had face. dimmed; there was only a reddish Heim paused in the shadow of haze above the roofs, and the re­ the wall. He ought not to inter­ mote luminous leap of the palace rupt. They had related, in the towers on Nob Hill. To the left a Spaceman'~ Rest, that the buck cargo submarine lay like a sleek was drunk and wild. "And when moon-scaled dragon, but no long­ he'd spent his last millo, he want­ shore robots or men were at work ed to sing for booze," the bartender around it. The Bay was ebony and said. '1 told him we didn't- want a shimmer of glade. Kilometers none of that here. He said he'd distant, the hills on the eastern sung his way through a dozen shore made a wall besprinkled planets and what was wrong with with artificial stars. The real stars Earth that nobody wanted to lis­ were wan, and so was the defense ten to him. I said the strip show satellite that climbed rapidly into was coming on the 3V in a minute view-as if all suns had with­ and that's what the customers drawn from a planet gone wanted, not any of his foreign strengthless. Luna stood at half stuff. So he yelled about singing phase near the zenith. He could to the stars or some such pothead not see the light-spot of Apollo notion. I told him go ahead, get MARQUE AND REPRISAL 1 out before I threw him out. And been no sense of miSSion about f>Ut he went. That was about an finding the fellow. It had merely hour ago. Friend of yours?" been an excuse to go on yet an· "Maybe," Heim said. other slumming trip. But the im· "Uh, you might go look for him plications grew in his mind. then. He could get into trouble. And now that his search was Somebody might go for an expen· ended, the song caught at him and sive gutbucket like he was haul­ he felt his pulse accelerate. This ing." stranger might indeed have the Heim nodded and tossed off his truth about that which had hap· beer. The Welfare section of any pened among yonder constella· large city was bad to be alone in tions. after nightfall. Even the police of "-La reine a fait faire un Western countries made little ef­ bouquet fort to control those whom the De belles fleurs de lyse. machines had displaced before Et le senteur de ce bouquet birth. They settled for containing A fait mourir marquise." that fury and futility in its own As the older tale, also of tyran· district, well away from the homes ny, treachery, and death, crashed of those who had skills the world to its end, Heim reached a deci· needed. On his walkabouts sion. through the subculture of the ir· "Rataplan I Rata plan I Rataplan· relevant men, Heim carried a stun plan-plan-plan I pistol. He had had use for it on Rataplanl Rataplanl Rataplatz· occasion. plan-plan-plan(" They knew him locally, though. Silence followed, except for the He had told them he was a retired lapping of water and the ceaseless spaceman-anything nearer the throb of that machine which was truth would have been unwise the city. Heim trod forth. -and before long he was accepted "Good evening," he said. as a genial drinking or gambling The minstrel jerked where he companion, less odd than many of sat, drew a ragged breath and the floaters who drifted in and out twisted about. Heim spread his of their indifferent purview. He hands, smiling. ''I'm harmless," he waved at several acquaintances, said. "Was just admiring your some feral and some surrendered performance. Mind if I join you?" to hopelessness, and left the bar. The other wiped at his eyes, Since the minstrel had proba· furiously. Then the thin sharp bly headed for the Embarcadero, face steadied into a considering Heim did too. His stride length· look. Gunnar Heim was not one ened as he went. At first there had you met unperturbed, in such an 8 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION area. He was nigh two meters tall, "I am by naturalization," Heim with breadth to match. His fea­ said. "My parents were Norwegian. tures were blunt and plain, an old But I was born on Gea, Tau Ceti scar zigzagging across the brow, II." under reddish-brown hair that in "What?" The hoped-for eager­ this forty-sixth year of his age was ness sprang into the singer's coun­ peppered with gray. But he was tenance. He sat up straight. "You decently clad, in the high-col­ arc a spaceman?" lared tunic and the trousers tucked "Navy, 'till about fifteen years into soft half-boots that '"'·ere the ago. Gunnar Heim is my name." current mode. The hood of his "I ... Endre Vadasz." The cloak was thrown back. His wea­ agile fingers disappeared in pon did not show. Heim's handshake. "Hungarian, "Well-" The minstrel made a but I have spent the last decade spastic shrug. "Here is a public off Earth." place." His English was fluent, but "Yes, I know," Heim said with bore a heavier accent than his care. "I saw you on a news pro­ French. gram recently." Heim took a flat bottle of whisky Vadasz's lips writhed. He spat from his pocket. "\:Viii you drink off the dock. with me, sir?" "You didn't get a chance to say The minstrel snatched it. After much during the interview," Heim the first swallow he gusted, angled. "Ahhh!" Presently: "Forgive my "No. They were cautious to bad manners. I needed that." He mute me. 'So you are a musician, raised the flask. "lsten elte.~se," he Mr. Vadasz. You have worked toasted, drank again, and passed your way by any means that came it back. to hand, from star to star, bearing "Skaal." Heim took a gulp and the songs of Mother Earth to the settled himself on the wharf next colonists and the nonlmmans. to the bollard. What he had al­ Isn't that interesting!' " The guitar ready drunk buzzed in him, to­ cried out under a stroke. gether with a rising excitement. It "And you wanted to tell about was an effort to stav relaxed. New Europe, and they kept steer­ The minstrel came' down to sit ing you from the subject. I won­ beside him. "You are not Ameri­ dered why." can, then?" he asked. His tone "The word had come to them. wavered a bit; he was obviously From your precious American au­ trying to make unemotional con­ thorities, under pressure from the versation while the tears dried on big brave World Federation. It his high cheekbones. was too late to cancel my an- MARQUE AND REPRISAL 9 nounced appearance, but I was to not go against the whole Federa­ be gagged." Vadasz threw back his tion. I left his office and walked head and laughed, a coyote barked for many hours. Finally I sat under the moon. "Am I paranoid? down in the dark by the Freedom Do I claim I am being persecuted? Memorial. I looked at Imre Nagy's Yes. But what if the- conspiracy face, and it was only cold bronze. against me is real? Then does my I looked at the figures of the mar­ sanity or lunacy make any differ­ tyrs, dying at his feet, and kn~w ence?'' why no one will listen to me. So I "M-m-m." Heim rubbed his got very drunk." Vadasz reached chin and throttled back the emo­ for the bottle. "I have been drunk tions within himself. He was not most of the time since." an impetuous man. "How can you Now we ask him/ it flared in be sure?" Heim. His voice would not re­ "Quinn admitted it, when I re­ main calm any longer; but Vadasz proached him afterward. He said didn't notice. "Your story, I gather he had been told the station might from what bits and pieces have lose its license if it, ah, lent itself leaked past this unofficial official to allegations which might embar­ censorship-your story is that the rass the Federation in this diffi­ people are not dead on New Eu­ cult time. Not that I was too sur­ rope. Right?" prised. I had had talks with offic­ "Right, sir. They fled into the cials, both civil and military, mountains, every one of them." since arriving on Earth. The kind­ "The Haute Garance," Heim est thing any one of them said was nodded. He had all he could do, that I must be mistaken. But they merely to nod. "Good guerrilla had seen my proofs. They knew." country. Lots to cover, most never "Did you try the French? mapped, and you can live off the They'd be more likely to do some­ land." thing, I should think." "You have been there!" Vadasz ''Yes. In Paris I got no further set the bottle down and stared. than an assistant undersecretary. "Pretty often, while in the He was frightened of my storv and Navy. It was a favorite spot to put would not refer me to anyone in for overhaul and planet leave. higher who might believe. I went And then I spent four months in on to Budapest, where I have kin. a stretch on New Europe by my­ My father arranged for me to see self, recovering from this." Heim the foreign minister himself. He touched the mark on his forehead. was at least honest with me. New Vadasz peered close through Europe was no concern of Hun­ the dappled moonlight. "Did the gary, which could in any event Aleriona do that to you.'?" 10 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "No. This was over twenty years He drew a long breath and ago. I bought it while we were looked at the stars. Not toward the putting down the Hindu-German sun Aurore. Across a hundred and trouble on Lilith, which you're fifty light-years, it would be lost to probably too young to remember. his eyes; and it lay in the Phoenix The skirmishes with Alerion didn't anyway, walled off from him by begin till later." Heim spoke ab­ the heavy curve of Earth. But he sently. For this moment the drive could not look straight at the min­ and ferocity in him were overlaid strel while he asked. "Did you by- meet one Madelon Dubois? That'd Red roofs and steep narrow be her maiden name. I expect she's streets of Bonne Chance, winding long married.'! down along the River Carsac to "No." Vadasz's drink-slurred the Baie des Pecheurs, which lay voice became instantly clear and purple and silver to the world's gentle. "I am sorry, but I did not." edge. Lazy days, drinking Pernod "Well-" Heim forced a shrug. in a sidewalk cafe and lapping up "The chances were way against it. the ruddy sunshine as a cat laps There's supposed to be half a mil­ milk. When he got better, hunting lion people on New Europe. Were trips into the highlands with the . . . the casualties heavy?" Jacques Boussard and Toto Astier "I heard that Coeur d'Yvonne, ... good bucks, open of heart imd down in Pays d'Or, was struck by hand, a little crazy as young men a hydrogen missile. Otherwise­ ought to be. Madelon- no, I do not believe so. The fight­ He shook himself and asked ing was mostly in space, when the roughly, "Do you know who is, or Aleriona fleet disposed of the few was, in charge?" Federation Navy ships that hap­ "A Colonel de Vigny of the pened to be near. Afterward they planetary constabulary. He as­ landed in force, but in uninhab­ sumed command after the mairie ited areas at first, so that except was bombed, and organized the for a couple of raids with nothing evacuation." worse than lasers and chemical "Not old Robert de Vigny? My bombs, the pther towns had time God! I knew him." Heim's fist to evacuate. They had been called clenched on the concrete. "Yes, in on to surrender, of course, but de that case the war is still going on." Vigny refused and so many went "It cannot last," Vadasz mum­ off ·with him that the rest came bled. "Given time, the Aleriona too." will hunt everyone down." Damn it, l have got to keep this "I know the Aleriona too," imperso11al. At least till l know Heim said. more. "How did you escape? The MAllQUE AND REPRISAL 11 newscasts that mentioned you "'Adieu, ma mle, adieu, mon when you first arrived were vague coeur, about it. Deliberately, I suppose." Adieu, ma mie, adieu, mma Vadasz made the bottle gurgle. coeur, "I was there when the attack Adieu, mon esperance-" came," he said, thickly again. Heim took the bottle, then "The French commandeered a abruptly set it down so hard that merchant vessel and sent it after it clanked, jumped to his feet and help, but it was destroyed when began pacing. His shadow wove scarcely above the atmosphere. back and forth across the min­ There was also a miner in from strel, his cloak fluttered against the Naqsa." He got the nonhuman moonlight on the water. pronunciation nearly right. "You "Nej, ved fandenl" he exploded. may know that lately there has "Eh ?" Vadasz blinked up at him. been an agreement, the Naqsans "Look, do ·you say you have may dig in Terre du Sud for a roy­ proof?" alty. So far off, they had seen "Yes. I have offered to testify nothing, knew nothing, and cloud under drugs. And de Vigny gave cover above Garance would keep me letters, photographs, a whole them ignorant. After a radio dis­ microfilm packet with every bit of cussion, the Aleriona commander information he could scrape to­ let them go, I daresay not wanting gether. But no one on Earth will to antagonize two races at once. admit it is genuine. Few will even Of course, the ship was not al­ look at it." lowed to take passengers. But I "I will," Heim said. The blood had earlier flitted down for a visit roared in his ears. and won the captain's fancy­ "Good. Good. Right here, the that a human should be interested package is." Vadasz fumbled in his in his songs, and even learn a few soiled tunic. -so he smuggled me aboard and "No, wait till later. I'll take kept me hidden from the Aleriona your word for now. It fits in with inspectors. De Vigny thought I every other scrap of fact I've come could carry his . message-bee, across." _ heel" Vadasz's laugh was close to "So I have convinced one man," hysteria. Fresh tears ran out of his Vadasz said bitterly. eyes. "From Naqsa I had to, what "More than that." Heim drew a you call, bum my way. It took long breath. "Look, friend, with time. And was all, all for noth­ due respect for you-and I re­ ing." spect anyone who's had the guts to He laid the guitar across his go out and make his own kind of knees, strummed, and sang low: life-l'm not a raggedy-ass self- 12 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION appointed troubadour. I'm boss "Brother, you have." Heim and chief owner of Heimdal." slammed a fist into his palm with a "The muclear motor makers?" revolver noise. A part of him won­ Vadasz shook his head, muzzily. dered, briefly, at his own joy. Was "No. Non. Nein. Nyet. You would it kindled by this confirmation that never be here. I have seen your they were not dead on New Eu­ motors as far from home as the rope? Or the chance that he, Gun­ Rigel Domain." nar Heim, might personally short­ "Uh-huh. Damn good motors, circuit Alerion the damned? Or aren't they? When I decided to simply and suddenly a purpose, settle on Earth, I studied the pos­ after five years without Connie? sibilities. Navy officers who've re­ He realized now the emptiness of signed their commissions and those years. don't want to go into the merchant No matter. The glory mounted fleet have much too good a chance and mounted. of ending down among the unem­ He bent down, scooped up the ployables. But I saw that whoever bottle with one hand and Vadasz was first to introduce the two­ with the other. "Skaall" he shouted phase control system the Aleriona to Orion the Hunter, and drank a invented would lock gravs on the draught that made the smaller human market and half the non­ man gape. "Whoo-ool Come along, human ones. And ... I'd been Endre. I knew places where we there when Tech Intelligence dis­ can celebrate this as noisily as we sected an Aleriona ship we cap­ damn please. We shall sing songs tured in the set-to off Achernar. and tell tales and drink the moon My father-in-law was willing to down and the sun up and then we stake me. So today l'm-oh, not shall go to work. Right?" one of the financial giants. But I "Y-yes-" Still dazed, Vadasz have ample money. tucked his guitar under an arm "Also, I've kept in touch with my and wobbled in Heim's wake. The Academy classmates. Some of bottle was not quite empty when them are admirals by now. They'll Heim began The Blue Lands­ pay attention to my ideas. And knechts, a song as full of doom I'm a pretty good contributor to and hell as he was. Vadasz hung the Libertarian Party, which the guitar from his neck and means that Twyman will listen to chorded. After that they got to­ me too. He'd better!" gether on La Marseillaise, and "No." The dark tousled head Die Beiden Grenadiere, and Skip­ moved from side to side, still per Bullard, and about that time drooping. "This cannot be. I can­ they had collected a fine bunch of not have found someone." roughneck companions, and all in MARQUE AND REPRISAL 13 all turned out to be quite an eve 4 Nothing, by Satan/ I simply sit ning. too much these days. Let me get away for a bit and this paunch II I'm developing will melt off. He sucked in his stomach, reached for 1700 hours in San Francisco a pipe, and stuffed the bowl with was 2000 in Washington, but unnecessary violence. Harold Twyman, senior Senator Why not take a vacation? he from California and majority lead­ thought. Go into the woods and er of United States representatives hunt; he had a standing invitation in the Parliament of the World to use Ian McVeigh's game pre­ Federation, was a busy man whose serve in British Columbia. Or sail secretary could not arrange a his catamaran to Hawaii. Or order sealed-call appointment any ear­ out his interplanetary yacht, climb lier on such short notice as Heim the Lunar Alps, tramp the Mar­ had given. However, that suited tian hills; Earth was so stinking the latter quite well. It gave him cluttered. Or even book an inter­ time to recover from the previous stellar passage. He hadn't seen his night without excessive use of birthplace on Gea since his par­ drugs, delegate the most pressing ents sent him back to Stavanger to business at the Heimdal plant to get a proper education. Afterward the appropriate men, and study there had been Greenland Acad­ Vadasz's evidence. The Magyar emy, and the Deepspace Fleet, and was still asleep in a guestroom. His Earth again, always too much to body had a lot of abuse to repair. do. Shortly before 1 700 Heim de­ Sharply before him the memory cided he was sufficiently familiar rose: Tau Ceti a ball of red gold in with the material Robert de Vigny the sky; mountains coming down had assembled. He clicked off the to the sea as they did in Norway, viewer, rubbed his eyes, and but the oceans of Gea were warm sighed. An assorbnent of aches still and green and haunted him with nibbled at him. Once-Lord, it odors that had no human name; didn't seem very long agol-he the Sindabans that were his boy­ could have weathered twenty times hood playmates, laughing just like the bout he'd just been through, him as they all ran to the water and made love to three or four and piled into a pirogue, raised the girls, and been ready to ship out wingsail and leaped before the next morning. I'm at the awkward wind; campfire on an island, age, he thought wryly. Too young where flames sprang forth to pick for antisenescence treatment, too daoda fronds and the slim furry old for-what? bodies of his friends out of a night 14 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION that sang; chants and drums and knowing semantic principles is like portentous ceremonies; and-and trying to dance before you can -No. Heim struck a light to his walk. 1'!11 afraid my sympathies are tobacco and puffed hard. I was with Mr. Espinosa." twelve years old when I left. And "But Dad!" she wailed. ''You now Far and Afor are dead, and don't realize! I'd have to do the my Sindabans growtt into att whole paper again from got" adulthood which humans are still "Of course." trying to understand. I'd only find "I can't/" Her eyes, which were an isolated little scientific base, no blue like his own-otherwise she different from two score that I've was coming to look heartbreakingly seen elsewhere. Time is a one-way like Connie-clouded up for a lane. squall. "I got a date with Dick­ Besides-his gaze dropped to Oh!" One hand went to her mouth. the micros on his desk-there's "Dick? You mean Richard work to do here. Woldberg?" Lisa shook her head Footfalls clattered outside the wildly. "The blaze you don't,'' study. Glad of any distracton, Heim growled. "I've told you Heim rose and walked after them. damn often enough you're not to He ended in the living room. His see that lout." daughter had come home and "Oh, Dad! J-j-just because-" flopped herself in a lounger. "I know. High spirits. I call it "Hi, Lisa," he said. "How was malicious mischief and a judge school?" that Woldberg Senior bought, and "Yechy." She scowled and stuck I say any girl who associates with out her tongue. "Old Espinosa said that crowd is going to get in trou­ I gotta do my composition over ble. Nothing so mild as pregnancy, again." either." Heim realized he was "Spelling, eh? Well, if you'd shouting. He put on his court-mar­ only buckle down and learn-" tial manner and rapped: "Simply "Worse'n correcting spelling. making that date was not only dis­ Though why they make such a fuss obedience but disloyalty. You went about that, me don't know! He behind my back. Very well, you're says the semantics are upwhacked. confined to quarters for a week Old pickleface!" whenever you're not in school. And Heim leaned against the wall I expect to see your composition and wagged his pipestem at her. tomorrow, written right." "'Semantics' is a singular, young'­ "I hate you!" Lisa screamed, un. Your grammar's no better than Rung out of the lounger and ran. your orthography. Also, trying to For a second the bright dress, the write, or talk, or think without slender body and soft brown hair, MARQUE AND REPRISAL 15 were before Heim's gaze, then she the small dimpled person to whom was gone. He heard her kick the he was the center of the universe? door of her room, as if to make it He glanced at his watch and open for her the faster. swore. Past time to call Twyman. What else could I do? he cried Back in the study, he had a after her, but of course there was wait while the secretary contacted no reply. He prowled the long her boss and sealed the circuit. He room, roared at a maid who dared couldn't sit, he paced the room, come in with a question, and fingering his books, his desk com­ stalked forth to stand on the ter­ puter, his souvenirs of the lancer race among the roses, glaring to whose command he had risen. across San Francisco. Hard had it been to give up Star The city lay cool and hazed un­ Fox. For a year after his marriage, der a lowering sun. From here, on he'd remained in the Navv. But Telegraph Hill, his view ranged that wouldn't work out, was~'t fair widely over spires and elways, to Connie. He stroked a hand shining water and garden islands. across her picture, without daring That was why he had picked this to animate it right now. Not hard suite, after Connie died in that after all, s1reetheart. Well li'Orth senseless flyer smash and the Men­ everything. docino County house got too big The phone chimed and the sec­ and still. In the past year or so retary said, "The Senator is on the Lisa had begun to whine about the line, sir." Her image gave way to address being unfashionable. But Twyman's distinguished gray the hell with her. head. Heim sat down, on the edge No. It was only that fourteen of the chair. was a difficult age. It had to be "Hello, Gunnar," Twyman only that. And without a mother­ smiled. "How's everything?" He probably should have remar­ "Comme ci, comme ca," Heim ried, for Lisa's sake. There'd been answered. "A little more ci than ca, no lack of opportunity. But at I think. How's with you?'' most the affairs had ended as . . . "Rushed damn near to escape affairs . . . because none of the velocity. The Aleriona crisis, you women were Connie. Or even Ma­ know." delon. Unless you counted Jocelyn "Uh-huh. That's what I wanted Lawrie, but she was hopelessly lost to talk about." in her damned peace movement Twyman looked alarmed. "I and anyway-Still, he could weU can't say much." be making every mistake in the 'Why not?" catalogue, trying to raise Lisa by 'Well . . . well, there really himself. What ever had become ol Isn't much to say yet. Their deleg9- 16 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION tion has only been here for about sighed. "Never mind. I can add two three weeks, you remember, so no and two. You're going to 1et formal discussions have com- Alerion have New Europe, aren't menced. Diplomacy between dif- you?" ferent species is always like that. "I can't-" Such a fantastic lot of spadework "You needn't. The indications to do, information exchange, se- are evervwhere. Heads of state as­ mantic and xenological and even suring their people there's no rea­ epistemological studies to make, son to panic, we're not going to before the two sides can be half- have a war. Politicians and com­ way sure they're talking about the mentators denouncing the 'extrem­ same subjects." ists.' Suppression of any evidence "Harry," said Heim, "I know as that there might be excellent rea­ well as you do that's a string of son to go to war.'' guff. The informal conferences are Twyman bristled. "What do you going on right along. Wh_en Par- mean?" liament meets with the Aleriona, "I've met Endre Vadasz," Heim you boys on the inside will have said. everything rigged in advance. Ar- "Who?-Oh, yes. That adven­ guments marshalled, votes lined turer who claims-Look, Gunnar, up, nothing left to do but pull there is some danger of war. I'm the switch and let the machine not denying that. France especial­ ratify the decision you've already ly is up in arms, demonstrations, made.'' riots, mobs actually tearing down "Well, ah, you can't expect, say, _ the Federation flag and trampling the Kenyan Empire representa- on it. We'll have our hands full as tives to understand something so is, without letting some skizzy like complex-" him inflame passions worse.'' Heim rekindled his pipe .. "What "He's not a skizzy. Also, Ale- are you going to do, any~ow?" he rion's whole past record bears him asked. out. Ask any Navy man.'' "Sorry, I can't tell you.'' "Precisely.'' Twyman's voice "Why not? Isn't the Federation grew urgent. "As we move into a 'democracy of states'? Doesn't its their sphere of interest, inevitably Constitution guarantee free ac- there've been more and more clash­ cess to information?" es. And can you blame them? They "You'll have as much informa- were cruising the Phoenix region tion as you want," Twyman when men were still huddled in snapped, "when we start to oper- caves. It's theirs.'' ate on an official basis.'' "New Europe isn't. Men dis- "That'll be too late.'' Heim covered and colonized it.'' MARQUE AND REPRISAL 17 "I know, I know. There are so defenses like ours can't be attacked many stars-The trouble is, we've from space by any fleet now in been greedy. We've gone too far, existence. Every beam would be too fast." attenuated, every missile inter­ ''There are a lot of stars," Heim cepted, every ship clobbered." agreed, "but not an awful lot of "That didn't work for New Eu­ planets where men can live. We rope,!' Twyman said. He was get­ need 'em." ting ~ngry. "So does Alerion." "No, of course not. New Europe "Ja? What use is a people-type didn't have any space fortresses or world to them? And even on their home fleet. Nothing but a few own kind of planet, why didn't lancers and pursuers that hap­ they ever colonize on anything like pened to be in the vicinity-when our scale, till we came along?" Alerion's armada came." "Response to our challenge," "Don't be ridiculous, Gunnar. Twyman said. "What would you The affair was simply another do if an alien culture started grab­ clash, one that got out of hand." bine planetary systems as near to "So the Aleriona say," Heim Sol as Aurore is to The Eith?" He murmured. "If that's the truth, leaned back. "Oh, don't get me how come none, not one of our wrong. The Aleriona are no saints. \'essels escaped?" They've sometimes been fiends, by Twyman ignored him. "We'll our standards. But we have to in­ never be sure who fired the first habit the same cosmos with them. shot. But we can be sure the Ale­ War is unthinkable." riona wouldn't have missiled New "Why?" drawled Heim. Europe if our commander hadn't "What? Gunnar, are you out of tried to pull his ships down into at­ your brain? Haven't you read any mosphere for a toadhole maneuver. history? Looked at the craters? Un­ What other conceivable reason derstood how close a call the Nu­ was there?" clear Exchange was?" lf New Europe really was mis­ "So close a call that ever since siled, Heim thought. But it wasn't. the human race has been irrational The Senator checked indigna­ on the subject," Heim said. "But tion, sat silent for a bit, and went I've seen some objective analyses. on almost mildly, "The whole epi­ And even you must admit that the sode illustrates how intolerable the Exchange and its aftermath rid us situation has become, how matters of those ideological governments." are bound to escalate if we don't "An interstellar war could rid us halt while we still can. And what of Earth!" do we want to fight for? A few "Twaddle. A planet with space wretched planets? We need only 18 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION let Alerion's traditional sphere "Why not?" Twyman asked most alone, and the rest of the galaxy is softly. open to us. Fight for revenge? "From a long-range viewpoint, Well, you can't laugh off half a your scheme ignores the nature of -million dead human beings, but Alerion. They aren't going to re­ the fact remains that they are spect our sphere any longer than it dead. I don't want to send any takes them to consolidate the one more lives after theirs." you want to make them a present "Okay," Heim said with equal of. And I do mean a present-be­ quietness. "What do you figure to cause until a trade treaty is agreed do?" on, which I predict will be never, Twyman studied him before an­ how can we spend any of that swering: "You're my friend as well valuta they so generously pay as a political backstop. I can trust over?" you to keep your mouth shut. And "Gunnar, I know friends of to support me, I think, once you yours have died at Aleriona hands. know. Do I have your promise?" But it's given you a persecution "Of secrecy . . . well . . . complex." yes. Support? That depends. Say "Trouble is, Harry," Heim stole on." from Vadasz, "the persecution hap­ "The details are still being pens to be real. You're the one liv­ threshed out. But in general, Ale­ ing in a dream. You're so obsessed rion offers us an indemnitv for with avoiding war that you've for­ New Europe. A very sizeabl~ one. gotten every other consideration. They'll also buy out our other in­ Including honor." terests in the Phoenix. The exact "What do you mean by that?" terms have yet to be settled-ob­ Twyman demanded. viously they can't pay in one lump "New Europe was not missiled. -but the prospect looks good. The colonists are not dead. They've With us out of their sphere, they'll taken to the hills and are waiting recognize a similar one for humans for us to come help them." around Sol, and keep away. ·But "That isn't so!" we aren't building any walls, you "I have the proof right here on understand. We'll exchange am­ my desk." bassadors and cultural missions. A "You mean the documents that trade treaty will be negotiated in -that tramp forged?" due time. "They aren't forgeries. It can be "There. Does that satisfy you?" proved. Signatures, fingerprints, Heim looked into the eyes of a photographs, the very isotope ra­ man he had once believed honest tios in film made on New Europe. with himself, and said: "No." Harry, I never thought you'd sell MARQUE AND REPRISAL 19 out half a million human beings." ing pipe. "That's my word, Sena­ "I deny that I am doing so," tor." Twyman said glacially. "You're a Twyman said, trembling: fanatic, Mister Heim, that's all. "Then my word, Heim, is that Even if it were true what you say we've outgrown your kind of saber­ . . . how do you propose to rescue tooth militarism and I'm not going anyone from a planet occupied to let us be dragged back to that and space-guarded? But it isn't level. If you're blaze enough to true. I've spoken to survivors whom quote what I've told you, here in the Aleriona ·brought here. You confidence, I'll destroy you. You'IJ must have seen them yourself on ·be in the Welfare district, or 3V. They witnessed the bombard­ correction, within a year." ment." "Oh, no," Heim said. "I keep my "Hm. You recall where they oaths. The public facts can speak were from?" for themselves. I need only point "The Coeur d'Yvonne area. Ev­ them out." erything else was wiped clean." "Go ahead, if you want to waste "So the Aleriona say," Heim re­ your money and reputation. You'll torted. "And doubtless the sur­ be as big a laughingstock as the vivors believe it too. Any who did­ rest of the warhawk crowd." n't would've been weeded out dur­ Taken aback, Heim grimaced. ing interrogation. I say that Coeur In the past weeks, after the news d'Yvonne was the only place hit by of New Europe, he had seen what a nuke. I say further that we can mass media did to those who fight if we must, and win. A space spoke as he was now speaking. war only; I'm not talking the non­ Those who were influential, that sense about 'attacking impregnable is, and therefore worth tearing Alerion' which your tame commen­ down. Ordinary unpolitical people tators keep putting into the mouths didn't matter. The pundits simply of us 'extremists,' and Earth is announced that World Opinion every bit as impregnable. I say Demanded Peace. Having listened further that if we move fast, with to a good many men, from engi­ our full strength, we probably neers and physicists to spacehands won't have to fight. Alerion will and mechanics, voice their person­ crawfish. She isn't strong enough al feelings, Heim doubted if world to take us on . . . yet. I say further opinion was being correctly re­ and finally that if we let down ported. But he couldn't see any those people out there who're way to prove that. trusting us, we'll de~erve every­ Conduct a poll, maybe? At best, thing that Alerion will eventually the result would frighten some do to us." He tamped his smolder- professors, who would be quick to 20 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION assert that it was based on faulty III statistics, and a number of their students, who would organize pa­ The ceiling glowed with the rades to denounce Heim the Mon­ simulated light of a red dwarf sun, ster. which lay like blood on leaves and Propaganda? Politicking? A vines and slowly writhing flowers. Paul Revere Society?-Heim A bank of Terrestrial room instru­ shook his head, blindly, and ments-phone, 3V, computer, vo­ slumped. cascribe, infotrieve, service cubi­ Twyman's face softened. ''I'm cle, environmental control board sorry about this, Gunnar," he said. -stood in one corner of the jun­ "I'm still your friend, you know. gle with a harsh incongruity. The Regardless of where your next silence was as deep as the purple campaign donation goes. Call on shadows. Unmoving, Cynbe wait­ me any time." He hesitated, de­ ed. cided merelv to add, "Goodbye," The decompression chamber and switched off. finished its cycle and Gunnar Heim reached into his desk for Heim stepped out. Thin dry at­ a bottle he kept there. As he took it mosphere raked his throat. Even forth, his gaze crossed the model so, the fragrances overwhelmed of Star Fox which his crew had him. He could not tell which of given him when he retired. It was them-sweet, acrid, pungent, cast in steel retrieved from that musky-came from which of the Aleriona battlewagon into which plants growing from wall to wall, the lancer put an atomic torpedo reaching to the ceiling and arch­ at Achernar. ing down again in a rush of steel­ I wonder if the Aleriona make blue leaves, exploding in banks of trophies of our wrecks. tawny, crimson, black, and violet Hm. Odd. I never thought blossoms. The reduced gravity about it before. We know so little seemed to give a lightness to his of them. Heim put his feet on the head as well as his frame. Feathery desk and tilted the bottle to his turf felt like rubber underfoot. lips. Why don't I corner one of The place was tropically warm; he the Aleriona delegation and ask sensed the infrared baking his him? skin. And then he choked on his He stopped and peered about. drink, and spluttered, his feet Gradually his eyes adjusted to the thumped to the floor, and he never ember illumination. They were noticed. The thought had been slower to see details of shapes so too startling. Why not? foreign to Earth. "Imbiac dystra?" he called un- MARQUE AND llEPIUSAL 21 certainly. "My lord?" His voice "I trust your trip hither was a was muffled in that tenuous air. pleasant one?" Cynbe cantillated. Cynbe ru Taren, Intellect Mas­ "Oh . . . all right, my lord, if, ter of the Garden of War, fleet ad­ uh, one doesn't mind traveling miral, and military specialist of with sealed eyelids after being the Grand Commission of Negoti­ thoroughly searched." ators, trod out from beneath his "Regrettable is this necessity to trees. "\Veil are you come, sir," he keep the whereabouts of our dele­ sang. "Understand you, then, the gation secret," Cynbe agreed. "But High Speech?" your fanatics-" The last word Heim made the bowing Ale­ was a tone-and-a-half glissando riona salute of a ranking individ­ carrying more scorn than Heim ual to a different-but-equal. "No, would have believed possible. my lord, I regret. Only a few "Yes." The man braced himself. phrases. It's a difficult language "In your civilization, the populace for any of my race to learn." is better ... controlled." I haven't Cynbe's beautiful voice ranged quite the neT17e to say "domesti­ a musical scale never invented by cated," but I hope he gets my men. "Wish you a seat, Captain meaning. Heim? I can dial for refreshment." Cynbe's laughter ran like "No, thank you," the human springtime rain. "You are a marks­ said, because he didn't care to lose man, Captain." He advanced with whatever psychological advantage a movement that made cats look his height gave him, nor drink the clumsy. "Would your desire be to wine of an enemy. Inwardly he walk my forest as we discuss? You was startled. Captain Heim? How are maychance not enrolled with much did Cynbe know? the few humans who set ever a There would have been ample foot upon Alerion." time to make inquiries, in the cou­ "No, my lord, I'm sorry to say I ple of days since this audience haven't had the pleasure. Yet.'t was requested. But one couldn't Cynbe halted. For a moment, in guess how interested an Aleriona the darkling night, they regarded overlord was in a mere individual. each other. And Heim could only Very possibly Heim's wish had think how fair the Aleriona was. been granted at Harold Twyman's The long-legged, slightly for­ urging, and for no other reason. ward-leaning body, 150 centime­ The Senator was a strong believer ters tall, its chest as deep and waist in the value of discussion between a spare as a greyhound's, the coun­ opponents. Any discussion. We terbalancing tail never quite at may go down, but at least we'll go rest, he admired in abstraction. down talking. How the sleek silvery fur sparkled 22 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION with tiny points of light; how don't want to waste your time. surely the three long toes of either Let's talk business." digitigrade foot took possession of "Be our doings as you choose, the ground; how graciouslv the Captain." Cynbe's free hand arms gestured; how proudly· the stroked across a phosphorescent slim neck lifted. The humans were branch. rare who could have dressed like "I'm here on behalf of the New Cynbe, in a one-piece garment of Europeans." metallic mesh, trimmed at throat "For the mourned dead? We and wrists and ankles with pol­ have repatriated the living, and ished copper. It revealed too much. indemnified they shall be." The head, though, was disturb­ "I mean those left alive on the ing. For the fur ended at the planet. Which is nearly all of throat, and Cynbe's face-marble­ them." hued, eyes enormous below arch­ "Ah-h-h-," Cynbe breathed. ing brows, nose small, lips vividly "Senator Twyman must have red, wide cheekbones and narrow warned you I'd bring the subject chin-could almost have been a up." woman's. Not quite: there were dif­ "Truth. Yet assured he the al­ ferences of detail, and the perfec­ legation is unbelieved." tion was inhuman. Down past the "Most of his side don't dare be­ pointed ears, along the back and lieve it. Those who do, don't dare halfway to the end of the tail, admit it." rushed a man of hair, thick, silken "Such accusations could imper­ fine, the color of honey and gold. il indeed the peace negotiations." A man who looked overly long at Heim wasn't sure how much sar­ that face risked forgetting the donicism lay in the remark. He body. stumbled on something unseen, And the brain, Heim reminded cursed, and was glad to emerge himself. from the bosquet, onto a little A blink of nictitating mem­ patch of lawn starred with flow­ brane dimmed briefly the emerald ers. Ahead rose the inner wall, of Cynbe's long-lashed feline eyes. where some hundred books were­ Then he smiled, continued his ad­ shelved, not only the tall narrow vance, laid a hand on Heim's arm. folios of Alrion but a good many Three double-jointed fingers and ancient-looking Terrestrial ones. a thumb closed in a gentle grip. Heim couldn't make out the titles. "Come," the Aleriona invited. Nor could he see far past the arch­ Heim went along, into the wav into the next room of the murk under the trees. "My lord," suite; but somewhere a fountain he said in a harshened tone, "I was splashing. MARQUE AND REPRISAL 23 He stopped, faced the other "It'd have no choice. You know squarely, and said: "I have proof even better than I, a majority of the that New Europe was not scrubbed Federation doesn't want to fight clean of men-in fact, they re­ over New Europe. About the only treated into the mountains and thing that could provoke such a are continuing resistance to your war is the plight of the settlers. occupation force. The evidence is Let them come back unharmed in a safe place-" Goodness, aren't and . . . and you'll have your we melodramatic?- "and I was damned conquest." planning to publicize it. Which "Conceivable that is." Light rip­ would, as you say, be awkward for pled red down Cynbe's locks when your conference." he nodded. His gaze remained He was rather desperately hop­ with the blooms. "But afterward?" ing that the Aleriona didn't know he crooned. "Afterward?" the facts of life on Earth well "I know," Heim said. "The New enough to understand how forlorn Europeans would be living proof his threat was. Cynbe gave him no you lied-not only about them, clue. There was only an imper­ but about the entire battle. Proof turbable quirk of mouth, and: that things didn't happen because "Seeming is that you have decided someone got a trigger happy, but upon another course, Captain." because you planned your attack." "That depends on you," Heim He swallowed a nasty taste. "Well, answered. "If you'll repatriate read Terrestrial history, my lord. those people also, I'll give you the You'll find we humans don't take evidence and say no more." these matters as seriously as we Cynbe turned to play with a might. Lies are considered a nor­ vine. It curled about his hand and mal part of diplomacy, and a few reached its blossoms toward his ships lost, a few men killed, are all face. "Captain," he sang presently, in the day's work. If anything, "you are no fool. Let us assume this concession of yours will your belief is truth. We shall strengthen the peace party. 'Look,' speak of a folk in wrath under the they'IJ say, 'Alerion isn't so bad, mountain peaks. How shall they you can do business with Alerion, be made come to our ships?" our policies saved those lives and "They're fighting because they avoided an expensive war.' Un­ expect help. If representatives of quote." the French government told them Now the muliebriJe face did to return here, they would. The turn about, and for a whiJe the parley can be arranged by radio." eyes Jay luminous upon Heim. He "But the entity France, now, felt his pulse grow thick. The would it so cooperate?" sound of the fountain seemed to 24 FANTASY A:'IOD SCIENCE FICTION dwindle and the hot red dusk to them into civilization: ways slow, close in. as you look upon time, ways sub­ "Captain," Cynbe sang, almost tle, ways quite, quite certain. too low to hear, "The Eith is an an­ 'The colonists yielded not, I cient sun. The Aleriona have been say between these walls. Even civilized for beyond a million of could we capture them alh·e, in so your years. We sought not farflung much wilderness-and we cannot empire, that would crack an order -even then could they not be­ old and stable; but our Wanderers come subject to Alerion. Not as ranged and our Intellects pon­ prisoners, forever dangerous, for­ dered. Maychance we are wiser in ever an incitement that Earth de­ the manifold ways of destiny than liver them. Yet if the entity of some heedless newcomer. May­ France commanded them home: chance we have read vour own in­ in their nerves, that were betrayal wardness more deepl)· than have of folk who had not surrendered, you yourselves. and they must strive for a Federa­ " 'Afterward' did I say. The tion government of males more word carries another freight when brave. I look in the future and I echoed through a million of years. see how they shame the others of My regard was to no gain for a you-yes, yes, Captain, such in­ decade, a generation, a century. I tangibles make your history, you speak beyond. are that kind of animal. Truth, "Between these walls, let truth there would not be war to gain be what you have daimed. Then back Europe Neuve. Those bones let truth also be that Alerion can­ grow dry before leaders as I speak not hithersend five hundred thou­ of come to power. But when the sand of individuals to leaven their next debatable issue arises­ race with anger. ah-h-h." "Had they yielded, the case So there is to be a next issue, were otherwise. We would have Heim thought. Not that he's told told Earth this battle was one me anything I hadn't already more incident that tolerable and guessed. I wonder, though, when now we must have our own sphere the second crisis is scheduled. where no aliens fare. But any of Maybe not iu my lifetime. But your colonists enwished to stay surely in Lisa's. might do so, did they become sub­ His voice came out flat and re­ ject to Alerion. We would offer in­ mote, as if someone else spoke: spection, that Earth might be sure "Then you're not going to admit they were not oppressed. For such the colonists are alive. What will little endaves are significanceless; you do? Hunt them down piece­ and Alerion has ways to integrate meal?" MARQUE AND REPRISAL 25 "I command space fleets, Cap­ rialism and revenge, haven't we? tain, not groundlings." Astonish· Anyhow, the galaxy is big."-"1 ingly, Cynbe's lashes fluttered and sure envy you, the way you've he looked down at his hands. The traveled in space. We get around fingers twined together. "I have in this job, of course, but seems said more than needful, to you like the places and people . on alone. But then, I am not Old Earth get more alike every year.") Aleriona. My type was bred after or thinking his own thoughts. He the ships began theit" comings hadn't really expected to accom­ from Earth. And . . . I was at plish anything with the Aleriona. Achernar." He raised his eyes. The attempt was nothing but a "Star Fox captain, as Earth's men duty. do, will you clasp my hand fare­ Grayness remained in him. I well?" don't see what I can do in Paris "No," said Heim. He turned on either. his heel and walked toward the A shabby man pushed him, un­ compression chamber. necessarily aggressive. He con­ trolled his temper with an effort­ IV he hated crowds-and refrained from pushing back. You couldn't His escort of Peace Control blame the poor devil for being hos-. troopers unsealed his eyes and let tile to one whose good clothes re· him off the official flyer at Port vealed him a member of the tech­ Johnson in Delaware. They'd tak­ noaristocracy. en longer on whatever circuitous That's why we've got to move route they followed than he had into space, he told himself for the expected. There was barely time to thousandth time. Room. A chance make his appointment with Co­ to get out of this horrible huddle on quelin. He hurried to the beltway Earth, walk free, be our own men, headed for the civilian garages, el­ try out new ways to live, work, bowed aboard through the usual think, create, wonder. There was crowd, and found he must stand more happiness on New Europe, the whole distance. divided among half a million peo­ Fury had faded during the ple, than these ten billion could hours he sat blind, exchanging even imagine. banalities with the earnest young What is it in them-fear? iner­ officer of his guards ("Weather tia? despair? plain old ignorance? Reg really muffed the last hurri· -makes them swallow that crock cane, don't you think?"-"Yes, too about how the rest of the universe bad about New Europe, but still, is open to us? we've outgrown things like impe- Because it was a crock. Habita- 26 .. FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ble planets aren't that common. bath, got some whale from the And most of those that exist have freezer and made himself a 'burger intelligent natives; a good many for lunch, and bunked out for a of the rest have alreadv been col­ couple of hours. onized by others. Heim did not The clock woke him with the want his race forced to the nearlv Light Cavalry Overture and hand­ ultimate immorality of taking ed him a mug of coffee. He someone else's real estate away. changed into fresh clothes-some Though more was involved in what formal, gold on the collar the Phoenix affair. A loss of nerve; and down the pants-while the throughout history, yielding to an flyer slanted in for a landing. Mo­ unjustifiable demand for the sake mentarily he debated whether to of a few more years of peace has go armed, for he would be carrying been the first step on a long down­ Vadasz's package. But no, that ward road. An admission of the might start more argument than it essentially vicious principle of "in­ was worth. If he failed here too, terest spheres;" there should not be he doubted if there would be any any boundaries in space. And, to further use for New Europe's ap.­ be sure, appalling fatuity: a blank peal. No action would be possible, refusal to read the record which except to get roaring drunl.: and proved Alerion's intentions toward afterward consider emigration to Earth, a positive eagerness to give an especially remote planet. the enemy the time and resources Entering the Douane office, he he needed to prepare for his next showed his ID and got a thirty-day encroachment. permit. France, being less crowded But what can a mau do? than most countries, was rather Heim claimed his flyer at the stuffy about letting people in. But garage and fretted while TrafCon this official was balm and unguents stalled about sending him aloft. from the moment he saw Heim's Quite a time passed before the pat­ name. "Ah, yes, yes, monsieur, we tern of vehicle movement released 'ave 'been told to expect ce pleas­ him. He went on manual for a ure of your company. A car is while, to have the satisfaction of waiting for you. Does monsieur personally getting away. The 'ave any baggage 'e wishes carried? gravitors in this Moonraker were No? Bien, cis way, please, and custom-built, with power to lift 'ave a mos' pleasant visit." him far into the stratosphere. Oth­ Quite a contrast with what En­ erwise the flyer was nothing spe­ dre Vadasz must have experienced. cial; he was fairly indifferent to But he was only a musician of creature comforts. He set the auto­ genius. Gunnar Heim headed a pilot for Orly, took a long hot well-known manufacturing con-- MARQUE AND REPRISAL cern and was son-in-law to Curt bitter, one heard. Heim was con· Wingate, who sat on the board of ducted down long corridors where General Nucleonics. If Gunnar not a few people were working Heim requested a private inter­ late, to Coquelin's office. view with Michel Coquelin, min­ The minister laid aside a stack ister of extraterrestrial affairs and of papers and rose to greet him. head of French representatives in "How do you do,'' he said. The the World Parliament, why, of tone was weary but the English course, of course. flawless. That was luck; Heim's Even so, he had crowded his French had gotten creaky over the schedule. Twyman had leaned years. Coquelin gestured at a worn, backward to oblige him about see­ comfortable old-style chair by his ing Cynbe; nevertheless, the desk. "Please be seated. Would you peacemongers were fairly sure to like a cigar?" have agents keeping tabs on him, "No, thanks. I'm a pipe man." and if he didn't mo\'e fast they Heim took his out. might find ways to head him off. "I too." Coquelin's face meshed The car entered Paris by in crow's feet and calipers when ground. Blue dusk was deepening he smiled, sat down and began to into night. The trees along the load a still more disreputable briar. boulevards had turned their leaves, He was short but powerfully built, red and yellow splashed against square of countenance, bald of Baron Haussmann's stately old dome, with very steady brown eyes. walls or scrittling among the legs "Well, Mr. Heim, what can I do of pretty girls as they walked with for you?" their men. The outdoor cafes had "Uh . . . it concerns New little custom at this season. Heim Europe." was as glad of that. Paris could "I thought so." The smile died. have made him remember too "In my opinion-" Heim de­ many things. cided he was being pompous. "M. The car stopped at the Quai Coquelin,'' he said, "I believe d'Orsay and let him out. He heard Earth ought to do whatever is nec­ the Seine lap darkly against its essary to get New Europe back." embankment, under the thin chill Coquelin's look went over his wind. Otherwise the district was guest's features, centimeter by cen· quiet, scant traffic, the whirr of timeter, while he started his pipe. the city machines nearly lost. But "Thank you for that," he said at sky-glow hid the stars. length. "We have felt lonely in Gendarmes stood. guard. Their France." faces were tense above the flapping "I have some material here that capes. All France was tensed and might help." 28 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION The least intake of breath went with disastrous political conse­ through Coquelin's teeth. "Pro­ quences if I broke that promise. ceed, if you please." So I am most glad to have an out­ He sat altogether expressionless, side listener." Coquelin passed a smoking, never glancing away, hand across his eyes. "But there is while Heim talked. Only once did little we can say, no?" he interrupt:"Cynbe? Ah, yes, I "There's plenty!" Heim ex­ have met him. The one they have claimed. "Come the formal meet­ quartered at-No, best I not say. ing, you can show this stuff to Officially I am not supposed to Parliament, with scientific proof know. Go on." it's genuine. You can ask them how In the end he opened the pack­ anyone can hope to get re-elected et, slipped a few films into the that sold out so many humans." viewer on his desk, read and nod­ "Yes, yes." Coquelin stared at his ded. The stiUness quivered near pipe bowl, where the fire waxed breaking point. Heim puffed vol­ and waned, waxed and waned. cano-like, stared out the window "And some will say I lie. That my into darkness, shifted his bulk so evidence is forged and my scien­ the chair groaned, and listened to tists bribed. Others will say alas, his own heartbeat. this is terrible, but-half a mil­ Finally Coque1in muttered, lion people? Why, a- few missiles "There have rumors about this." striking population on Earth After another silence: "I shall see could kill twenty times that many, that you and Vadasz join the Le­ a hundred times; and we had no gion d'Honneur. Whatever hap­ right to be in the Phoenix; and pens." nothing matters except to make "What will?" Heim asked. His friends with Alerion, for other­ jaws ached with being clamped wise we must look for decades of together. war; so we can only weep for our Coquelin shrugged. "Nothing people out there, we cannot help probably," he said, dull-voiced. them." His grin was dreadful to "They are determined to buy what see. "I daresay a monument will be they call peace." raised to them. l\fartyrs in the "Oh. Yes, you'd know. So I can cause of peace." tell you I also know the plan." "But this is ridiculous! Earth "That Alerion shall have Europe can't be attacked. Or if it can, Neuve? Good, we can speak free­ then so can Alerion, and they ly. I am naturally honor bound won't provoke that when we have not to reveal what is being decided twice their strength. A single flo­ until my fellow committeemen tilla right now could drive them agree, and it would be a futile act out of the Auroran System." MARQUE AND REPRISAL 29 "Half the Navy has been re­ what you have brought me, these called for home defense. The other documents, I do not know if I half is out in the Marches, keep­ should make them public." ing watch on the Aleriona fleet, "What?" which is also maneuvering there. "Consider. France is furious Even some of the admirals I have enough. Let the whole truth be consulted do not wish to spare a known, including the betrayal, flotilla for Aurore. For as you must and I dare not predict what might know, monsieur, the numbers happen. It could well end with available on either side are not Peace Control troops occupying large, when a single nuclear­ us. And, yes, that would hurt the armed vessel has so much destruc­ Federation itself, even more than tive capability." France. One must put loyalty to "So we do nothing?" Heim the Federation above anything grated. "Why, at the moment even else. Earth is too small for nation­ one ship could-could make seri­ al sovereignty. Nuclear weapons ous trouble for the enemy. They are too powerful." can't have any great strength at Heim looked at the bent head, Aurore as yet. But give them a and the rage in him seemed about year or two and they'll make New to tear him apart. "I'd like to go Europe as unattackable as Earth." out myself!" he shouted. "I know." Coquelin swiveled "That would be piracy." around, rested elbows on desk and "No ... wait, wait, wait." let his head sink between his The thought flamed into being. shoulders. "I shall argue. But ... Heim sprang to his feet. "Priva­ tonight I feel old, Mr. Hiem." teers. Once upon a time there "My God, sir! If the Federation were privately owned warships." won't act, how about France by "Eh, you have read a little his­ herself?" tory, I see." Some life came back "Impossible. \Ve cannot even to Coquelin. He sat straighter and negotiate as a single country with watched the huge, restless figure any extraterrestrial power, under with eyes again alert. "But I have the Constitution. \Vc are not al­ read more. Privateering was out­ lowed any armed force, any ma­ lawed in the nineteenth century. chine of war, above the police lev­ Even countries not signatory to el. Such is reserved for the Peace that pact observed the prohibition, Control Authority." until it came to be regarded as a ''Yes, yes, yes-" part of international law. Ad­ "In fact-" Coquelin glanced mitted, the Federal Constitution up. A muscle twitched in one does not mention so archaic a mat­ cheek. "Now that I think about ter. ·Still-" 30 IANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Exactly!" Heim roared; or was window and stared long out across it the demon that had come to the Seine. Heim's pace quivered birth in his skull? the floor. His brain whirled with "No, no, flout the law and the plans, data, angers, hopes, he had Peace Control forces arrive. I am not been so seized by a power too old and tired, me, to stand since he bestrode his bridge at Al­ trial before the World Court. To pha Eridani. say nothing of the practical dif­ And then Coquelin turned ficulties. France cannot declare about. His whisper filled the si­ war by herself. France cannot pro­ lence: "Peut-etre-" and he went duce nuclear weapons." Coquelin to the desk and began punching uttered a small sad chuckle. "I am keys on an infotrieve. a lawyer by past profession. If "What are you after?" Heim de­ there was a, you say loophole?-I manded. could perhaps squirm through. But "Details of the time before quite here-" every country had joined the Fed­ Word by word, Heim said: "I eration. The Moslem League did can get hold of the weapons." not recognize that it had any right Coquelin leaped in his seat. as a whole to deal with them. So "Qu'est-ce. que vous dites?" during the troubles, the Authority "Off Earth. I know a place. was charged with protecting Fed­ Don't you see-Alerion has to put eration interests in Africa." Co­ space defenses in orbit around New quelin gave himself entirely to his Europe, or she can't hold it against work. Once, though, he met any determined attack." Heim was Heim's eyes. His own danced in leaning on the desk now, nose to his head. "Mille remerciments, nose with the other, talking like a mon frere," he said. "It may be for machine gun. "New Europe has no more than this night, but you only a limited industry. So the have given me back my youth." Aleriona will have to bring most of the stuff from home. A long sup­ v ply line. One commerce raider­ What'd that do to their bargaining Endre Vadasz took the lid off position? What'd it do for our own the kettle, inhaled a sumptuous poor buffaloed people? One ship I" odor, gave the contents a stir, and "But I have told you-" re-covered them. "Almost done, "You told me it was physically this," he said. "I had better make and legally impossible. I can the salad. Have you the materials prove the physical possibility. And readv?" you said you were a lawyer." Lisa Heim blushed. "I . . • Coquelin rose too, went to the I'm afraid I'm not so good at slic- MARQUE AND REPRISAL 31' ing cucumbers and stuff," she said. He wore a top hat and his "Poof to that'.'' Vadasz scooped clothes were 'Very spruce· the disorderly pile of greens into a iung. bowl. "For a cadet, you do very Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- well. -Find me the seasonings, rung! will you? One must needs be an Hi-ro-de-rung! Hi-ro·de-rungl engineer to operate this damned Skinna-ma-rinky doodle doo, machine shop you call a kitchen. skimza-ma-rinky doodle doo, -As I was saying, small one, Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- when I so rudely interrupted my· rung!" self, we shall yet win you to your "Is that a real old song too?" cook and bottle washer (j.g.) rat­ Usa asked when he paused for ing. Charge, a boar's head erased breath. He nodded. "I just love with an apple gules in its mouth, your songs," she said. field barry of six vert and or. "Now outside his gate tl1ere sat That's , for cabbage and clotted a human wreckiung," Vadasz con· cream. tinued hastily. Lisa giggled and hopped onto "Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de· the table, where she swung her rung I legs and watched Vadasz with em· He wore a bowler hat i11 a ring barrassing warmth. He had only around his neckiung. tried to be good company to his Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de· host's daughter while her father rung I" was away. He gave the herbs and Lisa grabbed a skillet and spoon spices more attention than was to beat out time as she joined him really necessary. in the chorus. "My mother taught me a Span­ "Hi·ro-de-rungl Hi-ro-de-runt,! ish saying," he remarked, "that it Skinna·ma-rinky doodle doo, takes four men to make a salad: a skinnama-rinky doodle doo, spendthrift for the oil, a philoso· Glory, hallelujah, lzi·ro-de· pher for the seasonings, a miser for rung/ the vinegar, and a madman for the tossing." · "He asked the rich man for a Lisa giggled again. ''You're piece of bread and cheese­ cute." iung. "Er-here we go." Vadasz got to Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de­ work, singing. rung! "There was a rich man and he The rich man said, 'I'll send for lived in Jerusalem. the police·iung.' Glory, hallelujah, hi·ro-de- Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de· rungl · rung/" 32 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Hi-ro-de~rungl Hi-ro-de-rung/" Gulyas and sneeze-with-joy in the chimed in a bull basso. Gunnar spices." Heim stormed through the door. "Oh. Fine. Only I'd better get "Skinna-ma-rinky doodle doo, me-" skinna-ma-rinky doodle doo, "Nothing. A Hungarian never ("Daddy!" "Gunnar!") sets the table with less than twice "Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de­ as much. You may, if you wish, rung!" He snatched Lisa off the ta­ contribute some red wine. So, ble, tossed her nearly to the ceil­ once more, welcome home, and it ing, caught her and began to whirl is good to see you in this humor." her around the floor. Vadasz went "With reason." Heim rubbed his merrily on. Heim took the chorus great hands and smiled like a hap­ while he stamped out a measure PY tiger. "Yes, indeedy." with the girl, who squealed. "What have you done, Daddy?" "Now the poor man died and his Lisa asked. soul went to Heaviung. "Fraid I can't tell you, jente Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- min. Not for a while." He saw the rung/ first symptoms of mutiny, chucked He -danced with the angels till her under the chin, and said, "It's a quarter past eleviung. for your own protection." Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- She stamped her foot. "I'm not rung/ a child, you know!" Hi-ro-deprungl Hi-ro-de-rung/ "Come, now, come, now," in­ Skinna-ma-rinky doodle doo, terrupted Vadasz. "Let us not spoil skinnama-rinky doodle doo, . the mood. Lisa, will you set a Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- third place? We are eating in the rung/" high style, Gunnar, in your sun­ "Oh, Daddy!" Lisa collapsed in room." a laughing fit. "Sure," she sighed. "If I can "Welcome home," Vadasz said. have the general intercom on, vid "Yoll timed yourself well." and audio both. Can I, Daddy?" "What's going on here, any­ Heim chuckled, stepped out to way?" Hcim inquired. "Where are the central control panel, and un­ the servants? Why put a camp locked the switch that made it pos­ stove in a perfectly good kitchen?" sible to activate any pickup in the "Because machines are compe­ apartment from any other room. tent enough cooks but will never Vadasz's voice drifted after him: be chefs," Vadasz said. "I prom­ "Now the rich nzan died and he ised your daughter a goulash, not didn't fare so welliung. one of those lyophilized glue­ Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- stews but a genuine handmade mngl MARQUE AND REPRISAL 33 He couldn't go to Heaven so he This is just a plain and ordi­ had to go to Helliung. nary helliung.' Glory, hallelujah-" and on to Glory, hallelujah, lzi-ro-de­ the end. rungl" When he came back, he re­ Vadasz put thumb to nose and marked in an undertone, because waggled his fingers. She stuck out she'd be watching and listening, her tongue. They both grinned, "Lisa doesn't want to miss a second neither so broadly as Heim. of you, eh?" And supper was a meal with The finely molded face turned more cheer, more sense of being doleful. "Gunnar, I didn't mean-" home, than any he could remem· "Oh, for crying in the beer!" her since Connie died. Afterward Heim slapped Vadasz on the back. he could not recall what was said "You can't imagine how much I'd -banter, mostly-it had not been rather have her in orbit around real talk but a kind of embrace­ you than some of that adolescent ment. trash. Everything seems to be turn­ Lisa put the dishes in the serv­ ing sunward for me." , ice cubicle and retired demurely The Magyar brightened. "I to bed; she even kissed her father. trust," he said, "this means you Heim and Vadasz went downramp have found a particularly foul to the study. He closed the door, way to goosh our friends of Ale­ took Scotch from a cabinet, ice rion." and soda from a coldbox, poured, "Shh!" Heim jerked a thumb at and raised his own glass. the intercom screen. "Let's see, ' Vadasz's clinked against it. what wine should I dial for your "And a voice valedictory . , .'' main course?" the minstrel toasted, "Who is for "Hey, ha, this is quite a list. Victory? Are you running a hotel?" 'Who is for Liberty? Who goes "No, to be honest, my wife home?" tried to educate me in viniology "I'll drink to that," said Heim, but never got far. I like the stuff and did, deeply. 'Where's it from?'' but haven't much of a palate. So "One G. K. Chesterton, a cou­ except when there's company, I ple of centuries ago. You have not stay with beer and whisky." heard of him?-Ah, well, they no Lisa appeared in the screen. longer care for such unsophisti­ She laughed and sang, cated things on Earth. Only in the "Now the Devil said, 'This is no colonies are men so naive as to hoteliung. think victories are possible." Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de­ "Maybe we can make 'em rung! change their minds here, too." 34 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Heim sat down and reached for a Marches will be reduced below pipe. parity. So if then Earth gets tough, "Well," Vadasz said, in a cool both in space and at the negotia­ tone but with a kind of shiver tions table-we shouldn't have to through his slim form, "now we get very tough, you see, nothing so come to business. What has hap­ drastic that the peacemongers can pened, these last several days scream too loud-one big naval while I fretted ·about idle?" push, while that raider is out there "I'll begin from the beginiling," gobbling Aleriona ships-we can Heim said. He felt no compunc­ make them disgorge New Europe. tion about revealing what Twy­ Also give us some concessions for man had admitted, when this lis­ a change." tener could be trusted. His ac­ "It may be. It may be." Vadasz quaintance with Vadasz, though remained sober. "But how can you brief, had been somewhat ultense. get a fighting craft?" The Magyar wasn't surprised "Buy one and refit it. As for anyway. "I knew they had no in­ weapons, I'm going to dispatch a tention to get New Europe back couple of trusty men soon, in a when none would hear me." company speedster, to Staurn­ "I found a buck who would," you know the place?" Heim said, and went on with his "I know of it. Ah-ha!" Vadasz account. As he finished, Vadasz's snapped his fingers. His eyes be­ jaw fell with a nearly audible gan to glitter. clank. ''Yep. That's where our ship will "A privateer, Gunnar? Are you finish refitting. Then off for the serious?" Auroran System." "Absodamnlutely. So's Co- "But . . . will you not make· quelin, and several more we talked yourself a pirate in the view of the with." Heim's mirth had dissolved. law?" He drew hard on l:lis pipe, "That's something which Co­ streamed the smoke out through quelin is still working on. He dilated nostrils, and said: says he thinks there may be a way "Here's the situation. One com­ to make everything legal and, at merce raider in the Phoenix can the same time, ram a spike right up make trouble out of all proportion the exhaust of Twyman and his to. its capabilities. Besides disrupt­ giveaway gang. But it's a compli­ ing schedules and plans, it ties up cated problem. If the ship does any number of warships, which have to fly the Jolly Roger, then either have to go hunt for it or else Coquelin feels reasonably sure run convoy. As a result, the Ale­ France has the right to try the riona force confronting ours in the crew, convict them, and pardon MARQUE AND REPRISAL 35 them. Of course, the boys might need prize crews. Also • there then have to stay in French terri­ may be casualties." tory, or leave Earth altogether for "I see. Wanted, a hundred a colony-but they'll be million­ skilled, reliable spacemen, Navy aires, and New Europe would cer­ experience preferred, for the wild­ tainly give them a glorious recep­ est gamble since Argelus went tion." courting of Witch Helena. Where Heim blew a smoke ring. "I do you find them?-Hm, hm, I haven't time to worry about that," may know a place or two to look." he continued. "I'll simply have to "I do myself. We can't recruit bull ahead and try my chances on openly for a raider, you realize. If getting arrested. Because you'll our true purpose isn't kept secret understand how Coquelin and his to the last millisecond, we'll be in allies in the French government­ the calaboose so fast that Ein­ or in any government, because not stein's ghost will return to haunt every nation on Earth has gone us. But I think, in the course of hollowbelly-well, under the what looks like ordinary psych Constitution, no country can make tests, I think we can probe at­ warlike preparations. If we did titudes and find out who can be get help from some official, that'd trusted with the truth. Those are end every possibility of legalizing the ones we'll hire." the operation. \Ve'd better not even "First catch your rabbit," Vadasz recruit our men from a single said~ "I mean find a psychologist country, or from France at all. who can be trusted!" "So it depends on me. I've got "Uh-huh. I'll get Wingate, my to find the ship, buy her, outfit her, father-in-law, to co-opt one. He's a supply her, sign on a crew, and shrewd old rascal with tentacles get her off into space-all inside everywhere, and if you think you of two months, because that's and I are staticked about Alerion, when the formal talks between you should listen to him for a Parliament and the Aleriona dele­ while." Heim squinted at the mod­ gation are scheduled to begin." He el of Star Fox, shining across the made a rueful face. "I'm going to room. "I don't believe ordinary forget what sleep's like." crewmen will be too hard to find. "The crew- "Vadasz frowned. When the Navy appropriation was "A pretty problem, that. How cut, three years ago, a good many many?" fellows found themselves thumb­ "About a hundred, I'd say. Far twiddling on, planet duty and re­ more than needful, but the only signed in disgust. We can locate way we can finance this venture is those who came to Earth. But we to take prizes, which means we'll may have trouble about a captain 36 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION and a chief engineer. People with Vadasz could not speak. He such qualifications don't drift looked at his friend; chained to free." possessions and power, and there "Captain? What do you mean, ran through his head Gunnar? You'll be captain." Now the moral of the story is "No." Heim's head wove heavily riches are no joke-iung. back and forth. A good deal of his Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- bounce left him. 'Tin afraid not. I rung/ 'Want to-God, how I want to!­ We'll all go to Heaven, for we but, well, I've got to be sensible. all are stony broke-iung. Spaceships aren't cheap. Neither Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- are supplies, and especially not rung! weapons. My estimates tell me I'll But the rhythm got into his blood, have to liquidate all my available and he realized what Heim had assets and probably hock every­ done and what it meant, leaped to thing else, to get that warship. his feet and capered around the Without me to tend the store, un­ study shouting his victorious mu­ der those conditions, Heimdal sic aloud till the walls echoed. might well fail. Lord knows there "Hi-ro-de-rung! Hi-ro-de-rung/ are enough competitors who'll do Skinna-ma-rinky doodle doo, everything they can to make it fail. skinna-ma-rinky doodle doo, And Heimdal, well, that's some­ Glory, hallelujah, hi-ro-de- thing Connie and I built-her fa­ rung/" ther staked us, but she worked the office and herself while I bossed VI the shop, those first few tough years. Heimdal's the only thing From WORLDWEEK: I've got to leave my daughter." 31 October. "I see." Vadasz spoke with com­ Gunnar Heim, principal owner passion. "Also, she has no mother. of the American firm Heimdal Mo­ You should not risk she lose her tors, has purchased the starship father too." Pass of Balmaha from British Min­ Heim nodded. erals, Ltd. The transaction aston­ "You will forgive me, though, if ished shipping circles by its speed. I go?" Vadasz said. Heim made a cash offer that was "Oh, ja, ja, Endre, I'd be a too good to turn down but insisted swine to hold you back. You'll even on immediate occupancy. have officer rank: chief steward, He has announced that he plans which means mainly that you over­ to send an expedition in search of see the cooking. And you'll bring new worlds to colonize. "We seem me back some songs, won't you?" to have lost out in the Phoenix," he MARQUE AND REPRISAL 37 told 3V interviewer John Phillips. derstanding out of a battle. Some "Frankly, I am shocked and dis· of the finest xenologists on Earth gusted that no action has been are working day and night, trying taken in response to Alerion's at· to acquire a knowledge in dep:.h tack on New Europe. But I can't that we should have gotten three do much about it except try to find decades ago. us som.e new place-which I hope "But we do know that the Ale­ we'll have the nerve to defend." riona share some things with man­ As large and powerful as a naval kind. They too are rational beings. cruiser, Glasgmv-built Pass of Bal­ They too wish to live. Their an­ maha was originally intended to cient civilization, which achieved prospect for ores. But no deposits a million years of stability, can were found sufficiently rich to pay teach us a great deal. And no the cost of interstellar shipment doubt we can teach them some­ when the Solar Svstem still has thing. Neither can do this, how­ workable mines. The ship has ever, until we break the vicious cir­ therefore been in Earth orbit for cle of distrust, competition, fight, the past four years. Sir Henry and retaliation. Sherwin, chairman of the board of "That's why the Deepspace Fleet British Minerals, told Phillips, has been ordered not to fire except "We're overjoyed to get rid of that in self-defense. That's why we white elephant, but I must confess aren't crowding the government of I feel a bit guilty about it." Alerion-if it is anything like 7 Not?ember. what we understand by a govern­ U.S. Senator Harold Twyman ment-to get out of the Auroran (Libn., Calif.), high-ranking System. That's why we are taking member of the Federal pre-formal our time with the honorable dele­ negotiations team conferring with gation: who,.remember, came to us the delegation from Alerion, is· on Alerion's own initiative. sued a statement Thursday deny­ "Under the Constitution, only ing rumors of a planned sell-out of Parliament as a whole is empow· New Europe. ered to negotiate with . nonhuman "Certainly we are already talk­ states. Certainly the Executive ing business with them," he said. Committee will observe this law. "And that, by the way, is a slow But you can't expect a body as and difficult process. The Aleriona large, diverse, and busy as Parlia· are alien to us, biologically and ment to do the spadework in a culturally. In the past we have had case so intricate. Its duly appoint­ far too little contact with them, ed representatives were given that and far too much of what we did duty. We hope in a few more have was hostile. You don't get un- weeks to have a complete draft 38 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION treaty ready for submission. At At his Chicago office, Dr. Jonas that time we shall be prepared to Yore, founder and president of meet every conceivable objection World Militants for Peace, issued to it. Meanwhile, however, it the following statement: "Natu­ would be too great a handicap for rally this organization regrets the us to operate in a glare of public­ incident and hopes for Admiral ity. van Rinnekom's recovery.' But let "But we do not, repeat, not plan us be honest. He has only gotten a to betray any vital interest of the taste of the very violence he ad­ human race. Negotiation is a mu­ vocated. The issue before us is one tual process. We shall have to give of life and death. WMP stands for a little as well as take a little. The life. Unhappily, a great many un­ Aleriona realize this too, perhaps informed . people have let their better than some members of our emotions run away with them and own young and arrogant species. are crying for blood with no I am confident that, in the last an­ thought of the consequences. alysis, all men of good will are go­ WMP exists to fight this tendency, ing to agree that we have opened a to fight for sanity, to give atavism new arid hopeful era of cosmic its deathblow, by any means re­ history. The people of New Eu­ quired. We make no threats. But rope have not died in vain." let the militarists beware." 14 November. 21 November. Retired Vice Admiral Piet van Last Tuesday mankind through· Rinnekom, 68, was set upon by out the Solar System watched an about twenty men as he neared his unprecedented event. Cynbe ru house in Amsterdam on Monday Taren, a member of the Aleriona evening, and badly beaten. The as­ delegeation to Earth, appeared on sailants fled when police arrived, an official 3 V broadcast and an­ shouting taunts of "Warmonger!" swered questions put to him by They appeared to be of mixed na­ Crown Prince Umberto of Italy, tionality. Van Rinnekom has been who represented the World Feder­ an outspoken opponent of what he ation. describes as "appeasement of Ale­ The questions were selected rion," and is the author of the so· from an estimated forty million called Manhood Petition, whose sent in by peqple around the globe, backers are trying to gather one with Cynbe choosing a dozen from billion signatures in favor of Earth the final list. As he remarked, using force, if necessary, to regain with a grim humor he displayed New Europe. Most sociologists throughout the interview, "Thir­ consider this sheer lunacy. teen bears for you an unhappy His condition is serious. freight. It numbered either that MARQUE A.ND REPRISAL 39 one who betrayed or that one who alien feet. And truth, we have of. was slain." ten felt need to forbid places, eve11 In general, he repeated state­ force, them evacuated of the firs1 ments already made about the few men. Races that knew us Ion~ New Europe tragedy. How did it grow latterly hostile to us, unrest· happen? "Our ships were on ma­ ful by what men have told and sold neuvers. Near Aurore did they them. Resources we need are taken pass, for Alerion recognizes no oth­ away. From such has come ten· er claim of sovereignty in_ the sion, which unseldom bursts in Phoenix. Maychance the Terres­ battle. Long past is that hour we trial chief believed this was at­ should have ended it." tack, for truth is we had many. Why doesn't Alerion let an in­ When fired on, we made response, spection team from Earth visit with more than he may have New Europe? "As we understand awaited. His remnants entered at­ the symbolism of your culture, this mosphere for an outflank with rad­ were an admission of weakness iation protection. That it might and wrongness. Too, we cannot save itself, our closest detachment hazard espionage, or yet a suicide launched weapons on multiple mission with nuclear bombs en­ megatonnage. Grief, the settled smuggled. I say never your Parlia­ fringe of that continent they ment would such plot, but you named Pays d'Espoir was lineally have individuals who are other­ beneath. At orbital height the war­ wise, some in high command. heads kindled a firestorm. Terrible Maychance later, when faith has it ran, from end to end of that been achieved . . ." coast. When we could land, we 28 November. found none alive, and but few in The Aleriona Craze, already the southern region where also a well established in North Amer­ missile struck. Those we have hith­ ica, gained so much momentum erbrought, with our own mourn­ from delegate Cynbe ru Taren's re­ ing. Yet their Thirteenth-the-Be­ cent 3V appearance that in the trayer was that captain who took past week it has swept like a me­ them not into account when he teorite through the upper-class plunged." teenagers of most countries. Quite Why does Alerion now keep a few in Welfare have caught the possession? "Naught but woe came fever too. Now girls blessed with ever from this intermingling. Time naturally long blonde hair flaunt and again have humans ordered us it past their sisters waiting in line from planets we discovered thou­ to buy wigs and metal mesh jer­ sands of years agone, whose peace kins-l(ke their brothers. No dis­ is now broken with machines and ciplinary measure by parents or 40 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION teachers seems able to stop the kids Anybody we saw in that costume warbling every word they utter. would get her wig cut off, and her You need earseals not to be as­ own hair with it." saulted by the minor key cater­ No comment was available from waulings of Alerion, Alerion from the still hidden delegates. radio, juke, and taper. The slither­ 5 December. ing Aleriona Ramble has driven Lisa Heim, I4, daughter of even the Wiggle off the dance. manufacturer and would-be explo­ floors. On Friday the city of Los ration entrepreneur Gunnar Heim Angeles put an educational pro­ of San Francisco, disappeared gram on the big screen at La Brea Wednesday. Efforts to trace her Park, a rebroadcast of the historic have so far been unsuccessful, and interview; and police fought three police fear she may have been kid­ hours to halt a riot of 5000 scream­ napped. Her father has posted a ing highschoolers. reward of one million American In an effort to learn whether dollars for "anything that helps get this is a mere fad or a somewhat her back. I'll go higher than this in hysterical expression of the world's ransom if I have to," he added. sincere desire for peace, our re­ porters talked with youngsters VII around the globe. Some quotes: Lucy Thomas, 16, Minneapo­ Uthg-a-K'thaq twisted his face lis: "I'm just in hyperbolic orbit downward as far as he could, about him. I play the show back which wasn't much, and pointed even when I'm asleep. Those eyes his four chemosensor tendrils di­ -they freeze you and melt you rectly at Heim. In this position at the same time. Yee-ee!" the third eye on top of his head Pedro Fraga, I 7, Buenos Air~s: was visible to the man, aft of the "They can't be male. I won't believe blowhole. But it was the front eyes, they are." on either side of those fleshy feel­ Machika Ichikawa, IS, Tokyo: ers, that swiveled their gray stare "The Samurai would have under­ against him. A grunt emerged from stood them. So much beauty, so the lipless gape of a mouth: "So much valor." war, you say. We 'rom Naqsa know Simon Mbulu, 18, Nairobi: lit-tle ow war." ''Of course they frighten me. But Heim stepped back, for to a hu­ that is part of the wonder." man nose the creature's breath In Paris, Georges de Roussy, stank of swamp. Even so, he must I 7, threatened surlily: "I don't look upward; Uthg-a-K'thaq know what's gotten into those loomed eighteen centimeters over young camels. But I'll tell you this. him. He wondered fleetingly if MARQUE AND REPRISAL 41 that was why there was so much would be a competent captain, he prejudice against Naqsans. had made lieutenant commander The usual explanation was their before he quit the Navy, but Heim overall appearance. Uthg-a-K'thaq wasn't sure he could be firm suggested a dolphin of bilious enough if trouble of that nasty green-spotted yellow, that had sort broke out. turned its tail into a pair of short He dismissed worry and said, fluke-footed legs. Lumps project­ "Right. This is actually a raiding ing under the blunt head acted as cruise. Are· you still interested?" shoulders for arms that were in­ "Yes. Hawe you worgotten that congruously anthropoid, if you horriwle den you wound me in?" overlooked their size and the swim­ Heim had not. Tracking rumors ming-membranes that ran from to their source, he had ended in a elbows to pelvis. Except for a part of New York Welfare that ap­ purse hung from that narrowing in palled even him. A Naqsan strand­ the body which indicated a sort of ed on Earth was virtually helpless. neck, he was naked, and grossly Uthg-a-K'thaq had shipped as tech­ male. It wasn't nonhumanness as nical adviser on a vessel from the such that offended men, said the planet men called Caliban, whose psychologists, rather those aspects most advanced tribe had decided which were parallel but different, to get into the space game. Enter­ like a dirty joke on Homo Sapiens. ing the Solar System, the inexperi­ Smell, slobbering, belching, the enced skipper collided with an as­ sexual pattern- teroid and totalled his craft. Sur­ But mainly they're also space vivors were brought to Earth by travelers, prospectors, colonizers, the Navy, and the Calibanites freight carriers, merchants, who've sent home; but there was no direct given us stiff competition, Heim trade with Naqsa and, in view of thought cynically. the crisis in the Phoenix where his That had never bothered him. world also lay, no hurry to re­ The Naqsans were shrewd but on patriate Uthg-a-K'thaq. Damna­ the average more ethical than men. tion, instead of fooling with those Nor did he mind· their looks; in­ Aleriona bastards, Parliament deed, they were handsome if you ought to be working out a dis­ considered them functionally. tressed spaceman covenant. And their private lives were their Bluntly, Heim said, "We haven't own business. The fact remained, any way of testing your mind in though, most humans would re­ depth as we can for our own sort. sent even having a Naqsan in the I've got to trust your promise to same ship, let alone serving under keep quiet. I suppose you know him. And . . . Dave Penoyer that if you pass this information 42 FANTASY AND SCIENCE l'ICTION on, you'll probably get enough of a stopped. Drugs kept him going. reward to buy a ride home." This morning he had observed his Uthg-a-K'thaq burbled in his own gauntness in an optex with blowhole. Heim wasn't sure wheth­ faint surprise-and complete in­ er it represented laughter or in­ diHerence. dignation. "You hawe my word. "Surely the same null," Vadasz Also, I am wothered awout Ae­ mumbled. rion. Good to strike at them. And, Heim snatched the stack of en­ suq, will there not we loot to velopes off the table. A flat pack­ share?" age lay on the bottom. He ripped "Okay. You're hereby our chief the plastic off. Lisa's face looked engineer." Because the ship has forth. got to leave soon, and you're the His hands began to shake so only one I could get who knows badly that he had trouble punch­ how to repair a Mach Principle ing the animator button. The lips drive. "Now for details-" that were COnnie's opened. "Dad­ A maid's voice said over the in­ dy," said the small voice. "Endre. tercom, which was set for one-way I'm okay. I mean, they haven't only: "Mail, sir." hurt me. A woman stopped me Heim's heart shuddered, as it when I was about to get on the el­ daily did. "Excuse me," he said. way home. She said her bra mag­ "I'll be back. Make yourself com­ net had come loose and would I fortable." please help her fix it. I didn't think Uthg-a-K'thaq hissed something anybody upper-class was danger­ and settled his glabrous bulk on ous. She was dressed nice and the study couch. Heim jogged out. talked nice and had a car there Vadasz sat in the living room, and everything. We got in the car bottle to hand. He hadn't spoken and blanked the bubble. Then she much or sung a note in the past shot me with a stunner. I woke up few days. The house was grown here. I don't know where it is, a tomb silent. At first many came, suite of rooms, the windows are police, friends, Curt Wingate and always blanked. Two women are Harold Twyman arrived at the staying with me. They aren't mean, same hour and clasped hands, of they just won't let me go. They say everyone Heim knew well only it's for peace. Please do what they Jocelyn Lawrie had remained un­ want." Her flat speech indicated heard from; that was all a blur in she was doped with antiphobic. his memory, he had continued But suddenly herself broke preparations for the ship because through. "I'm so lonesome!" she there was nothing else to do and cried. , scarcely noticed when the visits The strip ended. After a long MAltQUE AND I.EPiliSAL 43 while Heim grew aware that "San Francisco meter," Vadasz Vadasz was urging him to read a said. He crumpled the plastic and note that nad also been in the hurled it at the wall. "Not that package. He managed to focus on that means anything." the typescript. "Cud i himlen." Heim stumbled "Mr. Heim:- to a lounger, fell down and sat For weeks you have lent your staring into the unspeakable. "Why name and influence to the militar­ don't they go straight after me?" ists. You have actually paid for ad­ "They have done so," Vadasz an­ vertisements making the false and swered. inflammatory claim that there are "Personally!" survivors at large on New Europe. ''You would be a risky target for Now we have obtained informa­ violence. A young and trusting tion which suggests you may be girl is easier." plotting still more radical ways to Heim had a feeling that he was disrupt the peace negotiations. about to weep. But his eyes re­ If this is true, mankind cannot mained two coals in his skull. allow it. For the sake of humanity, "What can we do?" he whispered. we cannot take the chance that it "I don't know," Vadasz said like might be true. a robot. "So much depends on who Your daughter will be kept as a they are. Obviously not anyone of­ hostage for your good behavior un­ ficial. A government need only ar­ til the treaty with Alerion has rest you on some excuse." been concluded, and for as long "The Militants, then. Jonas thereafter as seems wise. If mean­ Yore." Heim rose and walked to­ while you publicly admit you lied ward the exit. about New Europe, and do noth­ - "Where are you going?" Vadasz ing else, she will be returned. grabbed his arm. It was like trying Needless to say, you are not to to halt a landslip. inform the police of this message. "For a gun," Heim said, "and on The peace movement has so many to Chicago." loyal supporters in so many places "No. Hold. Stop, you damned that we· will know if you do. In fool! What could you do except that event, we will be forced to provoke them into killing her?" punish you through the girl. If on Heim swayed and stood. the other hand you behave your­ "Yore may or may not know self, you will continue to receive about this," Vadasz said. "Certain­ occasional word from her. ly no one has definite information Yours for peace and sanity." about your plans, or they would He had to read three or four simply tip the Peace Control. The times before it registered. kidnappers could be in the lunatic 44 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION fringe of the Militants. Emotions said about New Europe, and are running so high. And that sort hope?" must needs be dramatic, attack "That may be the only thing to people in the street, steal your do." It whirred in Heim's head. daughter, strut their dirty little "Though I do believe it's wrong egos-'-yes, Earth has many like also, even to get Lisa home." them in the upper classes too, "What is left? To hit back? crazed with uselessness. Any cause How? Maybe private detectives will serve. 'Peace' is merely the could search-" fashionable one." "Over a whole planet? Oh, we Heim returned to the bottle. He can try them, but- No, I was poured a drink, slopping much. fighting a fog till I got the idea of Lisa is alive, he told himself. Lisa the raider, and now I'm back in is alive. Lisa is alive. He tossed the fog and I've got to get out the liquor down his gullet. "How again. Something definite, that long will she be?" he screamed. they won't know about before too "Hey?" late. You were right, there's no "She's with fanatics. They'll sense in threatening Yore. Or even still hate me, whatever happens. appealing to him, I guess. What And they'll be afraid she can matters to them is their cause. If identify them. Endre, help mel" we could go after it-" "We have some time," Vadasz Heim bellowed. Vadasz al­ snapped. "Use it for something most got knocked over in the big better than_ hysterics." man's rush to the phone. The glow,_ in Heim's stomach "What in blue hell, Gunnar?" spread outward. I've been respon­ Heim unlocked a drawer and sible for lives before, he thought, took out his private directory. It and the old reflexes of command now included the unlisted num­ awoke. You construct a games the­ ber and scrambled code of Michel oretical matrix and choose the Coquelin's sealed circuit. And course with smallest negative pay­ 0930 in California was-what? off. 1730?-in Paris. His fingers His brain began to move. stabbed the buttons. "Thanks, Endre," he said. A confidential secretary ap­ "Could they be bluffing about peared in the screen. "Bureau de spies in the police?" Vadasz won­ -oh, M. Heim." dered. '~Donnez-vous moi M. le Minis­ "I don't know, but the chance ter tout de suite, s'il vous plait."' looks too big to take." Despite the circumstances, Vadasz "Then . . . we cancel the ex­ winced at what Heim thought pedition, renounce what we have was French. MARQUE AND REPRISAL 45 The secretary peered at the vis· VIII age confronting him, sucked down a breath, and punched. Coquelin's "Space yacht Flutterby, GB- weary features came to view. 327-RP, beaming George Town, "Gunnar! What is this? News Ascension Island. We are in dis· of your girl?" tress. Come in, George Town. Heim told him. Coquelin Come in, George Town." turned gray. "Oh, no," he said. He The whistle of cloven air lifted had children of his own. toward a roar. Heat billowed "Uh-huh," Heim said. "I see through the forward shield. The only one plausible way out. My bridge viewports seemed aflame crew's assembled now, a tough and the radar screen had gone bunch of boys. And you know mad. Heim settled firmer into his where Cynbe is." harness and fought the pilot con· "Are you crazy?" Coquelin sole. stammered. "Garrison to Flutterby." The "Give me. the details: location, British voice was barely audible as how to get in, disposition of maser waves struggled through the guards and alarms," Heim said. ionized air enveloping that steel "I'll take it from there. If we fail, meteorite. "We read you. Come in, I won't implicate you. I'll save Flutterby." Lisa, or try to save her, by giving "Stand by for emergen~y land­ the kidnappers a choice: that I ing," David Penoyer said. His yel­ either cast discredit on them and low hair was plastered down with their movement by spilling the sweat. "Over." whole cargo; or I get her back, tell "You can't land here. This is­ the world I lied, and show re· land is temporarily restricted. morse by killing myself. We can Over." Static snarled around the arrange matters so they know I'll words. go through with it." Engines sang aft. Force fields "I cannot-I-" wove their four-dimensional dance "This is rough on you, Michel, through the gravitors. The inter· I know," Heim said. "But if you nal compensators held steady, can't help me, well, then I'm tied. there was no sense of that I'll have to do exactly what they deceleration which made the hull warit. And half a million will die groan; but swiftly the boat lost on New Europe." speed, until thermal effect ceased. Coquelin wet his lips, stiffened In the ports a vision of furnaces his back, and asked: "Suppose I gave way to the immense curve of tell you, Gunnar. What happens the ·South Atlantic. Clouds were then?" scattered woolly above its shin· 46 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ingness The horizon line was a Heim nodded. During those deep blue edging into space black. seconds of talk Connie Girl had "The deuce we can't," Penoyer shot the whole way. A wild dark said. "Over." landscape clawed up at her. His "What's wrong?" Reception was detectors registered metal and loud and clear this time. electricity, which must be at "Something blew as we reached Cynbe's lair. Green Mountain suborbital velocity. \Ve've a hole lifted its misty head between him in the tail and no steering pulses. and the radars at George Town. Bloody little control from the He need no longer use only the main drive. I think we can set main drive. That had been touch down on Ascension, but don't ask and go! me where. Over." He cut the steering back in. "Ditch in the ocean and we'll The boat swerved through an arc send a boat. Over." · that howled like a wolf. A tiny "Didn't you hear me, old chap? landing field carved from volcan­ We're hulled. We'll sink like a ic rock appeared in the view­ stone. Might get out with space­ ports. He came down in a shatter­ suits and life jackets, or might ing blast of displaced air. Dust not. But however that goes, Lord vomited skyward. Ponsonby won't be happy about The jacks touched ground. He losing ·a million pounds' worth of slapped the drive to Idle and yacht. We've a legal right to save threw off his harness. "Take over, her if we can. Over." Dave," he said, and pounded for "Well-hold on, I'll switch the main airlock. you to the captain's office-" His score of men arrived with "Nix. No time. Don't worry. him, everyone spacesuited. Their We won't risk crashing into Gar­ weapons gleamed in the overhead rison. Our vector's aimed at the illumination. He cursed the safety south side. We'll trv for one of the seal that made the lock open with plateaus. Will broadcast a signal such sadistic slowness. Afternoon for you to home on when we're light slanted through. He led the down, which'll be in a few more way, jumped off the ramp before ticks. Wish us luck. Over and it had finished extruding, and out." crouched in the settling dust. Penoyer snapped down the There were three buildings switch and turned to Heim. "Now across the field, as Coquelin had we'd better be fast," he said above said: a fifteen-man barracks, a the thunders. "They'll scramble yehicle shed, and an environmen­ some armed flyers as soon as they tal dome. The four sentries outside don't hear from us." the latter held their guns in a stu- MARQUE AND REPRISAL 47 pe.fied fashion, only approximate­ registry for Connie Girl, but not ly pointed at him. The two men unsoundness. The last couple of on a mobile GTA missile carrier men emerged from barracks. Heim gaped. George Town HQ had natu­ raised his arm and pointed. "On rally phoned them not to shoot if her other side," he said. He they . detected a spacecraft. The chopped his hand down and rest of the guard were pouring clashed his faceplate shut. from quarters. Two men in the airlock stepped Heim counted. Some weren't in back. The gas cannon they had sight yet. . . . He lumbered to­ hidden poked its nose out. Under ward them. "Emergency landing," fifty atmospheres of pressure, the he called. "I saw your .field-" anesthetic aerosol boiled forth. The young man with Peace A sentry opened fire. Heim Control lieutenant's insignia, who dove for dirt. A bullet splintered must be in charge, looked dis­ rock before his eyes. The yellow mayed. "But-" He stopped and stream gushed overhead, rumbling. fumbled at his collar. And now his crew were on their Heim came near. "What's way, with stunners asnicker. No wrong?" he asked. "Why shouldn't lethal weapons; he'd hang before I have used your field?" he killed humans doing their That was a wicked question, he duty. But this was an attack by knew. Officially PCA didn't ad­ men who had seen combat against mit this place existed. men whose only job had been to The Aleriona overlords who prevent it. Death wasn't needed. comprised the delegation could The short, savage fight ended. not be housed together. They nev­ Heim rose and made for the dome. er lived thus at home; to offer Zucconi and Lupowitz came be­ them less than total privacy would hind, a ram slung between them have been an insult, and perhaps on a gravity carrier. Around the risky of all their lives. So they .field, Connie Girl's medical team must be scattered around Earth. started to check the fallen Peace­ Ascension was a good choice. Lit­ men and give first aid. tle was here nowadays except a "Here," said Heim into his suit small World Sea Police base. radio. Zucconi and Lupowitz set Comings and goings were thus down the ram and started the mo· discreet. tor. Five hundred kilos of tool "Orders," the lieutenant said steel bashed the dome wall at sixty vaguely. He squinted at the argent cycles. The narcotics fog clamored spear of the yacht. "I say, you with that noise. The wall smashed don't look damaged." open. Heim leaped through, into You could fake a name and the red sun's light. 48 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION A dozen followed him. "He's They'll try to disable my boat. somewhere in this mess," Heim If we can't get away fast-The said. "Scatter. We've got three min­ ramp was ahead, hellroad steep. utes before the cops arrive." A squadron appeared over Green He burst into the jungle at ran­ Mountain. Heim stopped at the dom. Branches snapped, vines bottom of the ramp. His men shrank away, flowers crushed un­ streamed past. Now Cynbe was derfoot. A shadow flitted -Cyn­ aboard. Now evervone was. A be! Heim plunged. flyer dove at him. tie heard bul­ A laser flame sizzled. Heim lets sleet along the ramp at his felt the heat, saw his combat . heels. breastplate vaporizing in com­ Over the coaming! Someone scant fire. Then he was upon the dogged the lock. Connie Girl Aleriona. He wrenched the gun stood on her tail and struck for loose. Mustn't close in-he'd get the sky. burned on this hot metal. Cynbe Heim lay where he was for grinned with fury and whipped some time. his tail around Heim's ankles. Eventually he opened his hel­ The man fell, but still he hung on. met and went to the bridge. His followers arrived, seized their Space blazed with stars, but quarry, and frogmarched away the Earth was already swallowing Intellect Master of the Garden of them again .."We.'re headed back War. Outside, Cynbe took a breath down, eh?" he asked. of vapor and went limp. "Right-o," Penoyer answered. I hope the biomeds are right The strain had left him, his boy­ about this stuff's being harmless to ish face was one vast grin. "Got him, Heim thought. clean away, above their ceiling He ran onto the field and had and past their radar horizon be­ no more time for thought. A cou­ fore you could say fout." ple of PCA flyers were in the sky. Then a long curve above at­ They stooped like hawks. Their mosphere, but swiftly, racing the guns pursued Heim's crew. He moment when Peace Controls or­ saw the line of explosions stitch bital detectors were alerted, and toward him, heard the crackle and now toward the far side of the an overhead whistle through his planet. It had been a smooth helmet. "Open out!" he yelled. His operation, boded well for the pri­ throat was afire. Sweat soaked his vateer. If they carried it the undergarments. "Let 'em see who whole way through, that was. you're toting!" Heim lockered his suit and got The flyers screamed about and back steadiness from the routine climbed. of an intercom check with all MARQUE AND REPRISAL 49 stations. Everything was ship­ "There wasn't any other. Lis­ shape, barring some minor bullet ten. Matters have gotten so tense pocks in the outer plates. When between the war and peace fac­ Lupowitz reported, "The prison­ tions on Earth that violence is er's awake, sir," he felt no excite­ breaking out. Some days ago my ment, only a tidal flow of will. daughter was stolen away. I got a "Bring him to my cabin," he message that if I didn't switch ordered. sides, she'd be killed." The boat crept downward "Grief. Yet what can I do?'' through night. Timing had been "Don't pretend to be sorry. If I important. The Russian Republic backed down, you'd have a dis­ was as amiably inept about Traf­ tinct gain, so there was no point Con as everything else, and you in begging your assistance. Now could land undetected after dark no matter what I myself do, I on the Siberian tundra if you can't trust them to return her. I were cautious. Heim felt the set­ had to get a lever of my own. I down as a slight quiver. When bribed someone who knew where the engines ceased their purr, the you were, recruited this gang of silence grew monstrous. men, and-and now we'll phone Two armed men outside his the head of the organized ap­ cabin saluted in triumph. He peasement agitators." went through and closed the door. Cynbe's tail switched his heels. Cynbe stood near the bunk. "Let us suppose I refuse," said the Only his tailtip stirred, and his cool music. hair in the breeze from a ventila­ "Then I'll kill you," Heim tor. But when he recognized said without rancor. "I don't Heim, the beautiful face drew know if that scares you or not. into a smile that was chilling to But your delegation meets Parlia­ see. "Ah-h-h," he murmured. ment in another week. They'll be Heim made the formal Aleri­ handicapped without their mili­ ona salute. "lmbiac, forgive me," tary expert. Nor are things likely he said. "I am desperate." to proceed smoothly, after such a "Truth must that be," it trilled stink as I can raise." in his ears, "if you think thus to "Will you not terminate my rouse war." existence in every case, Captain, "No, I don't. How could I bet­ that I neyer denounce you?" ter disgrace my side of the argu­ "No. Cooperate and you'll go ment? I just need your help." free. I simply want my ~aughter The green eyes narrowed. back. Why should I commit a "Strange is your way to ask, Cap­ murder that'll have the whole tain." planet looking for the solution? 50 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION They'd be certain to find me. The throw in a new factor, and what general type of this vessel is suf­ are all your calculations worth?" ficient clue, since I've no alibi The eyes unveiJed. "Upon for the time of the kidnapping." you I see no weapon," Cynbe "Yet have you not said why I crooned. "If I aid you not, how shall not accuse you." will you kill me?" Heim shrugged. "That'd be Heim flexed his fingers. "With against your own interest. Too these hands." sordid a story would come out. A Laughter belled forth. "Star father driven wild by the irre­ Fox captain, let us seek the radio­ sponsible Peace Militants, and phone." so forth. I'd produce my docu­ It was late morning in Chi­ ments from New Europe in open cago. Jonas Yore's Puritan face court. I'd testify under neoscop looked out of the screen with what you admitted when last we loathing. "What do you want, talked. Oh, I'd fight dirty. Senti­ Heim?" ment on Earth is delicately bal­ "You know about my girl be­ anced. Something like my tria] ing snatched?" could well tip the scales." "No. I mean, I'm sorry for her Cynbe's eyes nictitated over. if not for you, but how does it He stroked his chin with one slim concern me? I have no informa­ hand. tion." "In fact," Heim said, "your "I got word the kidnappers are best bet is to tell PCA you were skizzies in the peace faction. taken by an unidentified bunch Wail'; I don't accuse you of hav­ who wanted to sabotage the ing any part in it. Every _group treaty. You persuaded them this has bolshes. But if you passed the was the worst thing they could word around quietly, personal do, from their own standpoint, calls to your entire membership and they let you go. 'f.hen insist list, directly or indirectly you'd that our own authorities hush get to them." the entire affair up. They wi11, if "See here, you rotten-" you say so, and gladly. A public "Turn on your recorder. This scandal at this juncture would be is important. I want to present most inconvenient." Still the Delegate Cynbe ru Taren." In Aleriona stood hooded in his own spite of everything, Heim's heart thoughts. "Cynbe," said Heim in came near bursting. his softest voice, "you do not un­ The Aleriona glided into pick­ derstand humans. We're as alien up range. "My Iordi" Yore gasped. to you as you are to us. -So far "In honor's name did Captain you've juggled us pretty well. But Heim appeal me-ward," Cynbe MARQUE AND REPRISAL 51 sang. "A bond is between us that "Are you all right?" he cried. we did battle once. Nor may my His hands reached out. The ancient race drink of shame. Is screen stopped them. not yonder child returned, we "Yes. They . . . they never must depart this planet and in­ hurt me. I got doped. When I voke that cleansing which is in woke up, we were parked here in open war. Thus do I command town. They told me, take an el­ your help." way from there. I was still dopy "M-m-my Iord-I-Yes! At and didn't pay any attention-no once!" number-Please hurry home." Heim switched off the set. The "I'll-jYl. Two, three hours.'' air whistled from his lungs and The remnants of the drug left his knees shook. "Th-th-thanks," her more calm than him. "I think he stuttered. "Uh . . . uh . . . as I know how it happened, Daddy. soon as Vadasz lets me know she's I'm awful sorry. That night you arrived, we'll take off. Deliver and Endre talked about your­ vou ncar a town." you know-well, you'd forgot to . Cyn be watched him for a· time turn off · the general intercom before he asked: "Play you chess, switch. I listened from my room." Captain? Of Earth's every crea­ He remembered how slinky tion, there is the one finest. And and mysterious she had acted in well should I like that you not the following couple of weeks. have her enminded a while." He'd put that down to an attempt "No, thanks," Heim said. at impressing Vadasz. Now the ''You'd win on fool's mate every knowledge of his carelessness hit time. I'd better see about getting him in the belly. our false identification removed." "Don't," she asked. "I never He was glad of the winter cold told. Honest. Only when Dick outside. and some other kids teased me _ They were almost through 'cause I wouldn't go in for that when Cynbe appeared in the air­ stupid Aleriona stuff, I got mad and lock, etched black across its light. told them one human was worth His tone soared: "Captain, be a hundred of those crawlies and swift. The wandersinger calls my father was going to prove it. from your home. She is again." I never said more. But I guess Heim didn't remember run­ word got back to somebody, 'cause ning to the phone. Afterward he those women kept asking me what noticed bruises on shin and shoul­ I'd meant. I told them I was just der. But he did lock the radio bragging. Even when they said room door. they'd beat me, I told them it was Lisa looked at him. "Daddy!" just a brag, and I guess they be- 52 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION lieved that because they never did jectory. As far as the world was beat me. Please don't be too mad, concerned, she had gone out to Daddy." check on the loading of the star ''I'm not," he said harshly. cruiser. Heim was surprised to "I'm more proud than I deserve. note how calmly he could now Now go to bed and rest. I'll be wait to see his daughter again. home as fast as I can." And when it'd be for such a "I missed you so much." short time, too. The ship must de­ She switched off. Then Heim part in a few more days, with him .could weep. her captain. Connie Girl purred aloft, and That had to be, he saw. The down again a kilometer outside evil had grown so mighty that he Krasnoe. Heim escorted Cynbe to dared not challenge it with less the ground. It was frozen, and than his whole strength: which rang underfoot. A few lights was found among the stars, not shone from outlying houses, diiQ on this sick Earth. Nor would he compared to the winter stars. be worthy to be Lisa's father, if he "Here." Awkwardly, Heim sent men against that thing whose proffered a heated cloak. "You'U creatures had tried to devour her, want this." and did not go himself. "My thanks," blew from under She'd be safe in Wingate's care. the frost-cold locks. "When your As for the Heimdal company, it authorities fetch me, I shall tell might or might not survive with­ as you suggested. Wisest for Ale­ out him, but that really made no rion is thus; and for I, who would difference. Lisa's grandfather not see you further hurt." would provide for her, whatever Heim stared at the thin snow­ happened. And don't forget the crust. It sparkled like Cynbe's chance of prize money I fur. "I'm sorry about what I did," Laughter welled in Heim. May­ he mumbled. "It was no way to be I'm rationalizing a selfish ata­ treat you." vistic desire to raise hell. Okay, "No more of anger indwells." what if I am? This is the way it's Cynbe's song dropped low. "I going to be. knew not humans hold their young so dear. Well may IX you fare." "Goodbye." This time Gunnar They had celebrated an early Heim shook hands. Christmas. The tree glittered for­ The boat took off afresh, found lorn in the living room. Outside, a orbital height and went toward surf of rain drove against the win­ Mojave Port alone a standard tra- dows. 1\IARQUE AND REPRISAL 53 "It's so awful," Lisa said. "That these goodbye waits, sitting there has to be a war." around wishing you could think "There doesn't, pony," Heim of something to say. Let's tune in answered. "In fact, that's what Parliament." we're trying to prevent." "Not worth while," Heim re­ She regarded him in bewilder­ plied. "They expect a full week of ment. preliminary debate before they in­ "If we don't stand up to Ale­ vite the Aleriona delegation. Ev­ rion," Heim said, "there'll be trou­ ery two-cento politician wants to ble and more trouble, worse each make sure he's heard at least time, and we'll forever lose, until once." at last Earth is driven into a corn­ "But according to the news yes­ er. And when it's cornered, the hu­ terdav, France came out near the man race always does fight, with top of the alphabetical draw. Co­ everything it's got. Planet against quelin will probably start to speak planet-that would be the real any minute." Ragnarok. What we have to do is "He'll-oh, go ahead." Heim show them right now that we was chiefly conscious of the slight aren't going to be pushed. Then form huddled between him and we and they can talk business. Vadasz. Because space truly is big enough The time was not much later in for everybody, as long as they re­ Mexico City than here, but you spect each other's right to exist." couldn't tell that from inside the He put on his cloak. "We'd better Capitol. The view swept across start." the Chamber of Council, faces Thev went downshaft in si­ and faces and faces, white, brown, lence to the garage, and ent~red black, amber, their eyes zeroed on his flyer-himself, his daughter, the rostrum as the speaker for Fin­ her grandfather, two hard-looking land stepped down. Pres_ident Fa­ men who must keep watch over zil knocked with his gavel; her until this affair had been out­ through that waiting quiet, the lived, and Vadasz. Out the doors sound was like nails being driven they glided, and rose through into a coffin. Wingate, whose storm. The hull shivered and re­ Spanish was not the best, dialled sounded. But when they got into for English translation. the upper lanes, blue stillness en­ "-the honorable spokesman compassed them, with clouds be­ for France, Mr. Michel Co­ low like snow mountains. quelin." Wingate lit a cigar and puffed, Heim set the 'pilot and leaned his nutcracker face squinched to­ back to watch. The square shape gether. Finally he barked, "I hate trudged down the aisle deliber- 54 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ately, almost scornfully, and took members of this body," Twyman a stance at the lectern. The cam­ rapped, "the honorable spokes­ era ·zoomed in on a countenance man for France has warned us shockingly aged: but one which that he intends a surprise. This is might have been cast in iron. a time for serious discussion, not "Mr. President, distinguished for debater's tricks. If we find delegates, ladies and gentlemen. ourselves forced to rebut an unex­ I shall not detain you long at this pected assertion, our meeting point. The world knows the with the honorable delgates of French feeling about New Eu­ Alerion may .easily be postponed rope. My country wishes to make another week. There has . already her position entirely clear and to been too much delay. I insist that advance a certain argument. this chamber vote upon whether Since this is sure to precipitate to let M. Coquelin play with us considerable discussion, I re­ or not." quest leave to defer my address "Mr. President-" The French­ until the other honorable spokes­ man's retort was cut off. Fazil men have finished theirs." slammed his gavel and said: "You see?" Heim said. "He has "The chair finds the point well to gain time for us to get clear. It taken, if perhaps somewhat heat­ was bad luck that France came edly expressed. Does anyone wish on so early in the session, but he'll to make a motion that the French handle it." statement be deferred until every "What's he going to say, any­ other national spokesman has fin­ how, Daddy?" Lisa asked .."He ished his remarks?" can't let you be called pirates!" "Oh, oh," Vadasz muttered. Heim grinned. "You'll find "This does not look good." out." Heim reached out and adjusted "Mr. President! Point of or­ the 'pilot for top speed. The en­ der." The camera wheeled around gine hum strengthened. Above it and .closed in on Harold Twy­ he heard a member of the Argen­ man. He had jumped to his feet tine group say, "I so move," and and looked angry. "In so grave a a Dutchman, "I second." matter, a departure from prece­ "It has been moved and sec­ dence must be approved in the onded-" form of a motion." "What if they don't let him?" Coquelin raised his brows. "1 Lisa wailed. fail to see why there should be "Then we've got to go like bats any objection to France yielding out of Venus," Heim said. precedence," he said. Coquelin began to speak in fa­ · "Mr. President, distinguished vor of the motion. After a few MARQUE AND REPRISAL 55 minutes, Vadasz clicked his He gave her to Vadasz, who em­ tongue and said admiringly: hraced her very lightly and be­ "Never did I hear anything so stowed a kiss on the wet cheek. long-winded. He is an artist." "Isten veled," the Magyar said "Urn, Wingate grunted. "He "I shall bring ycru home a song." may antagonize 'em." Hastily, then, they mounted "Obviously," said Heim in a the ramp, stood waving while it bleak tone, ''he doesn't expect to retracted, and saw the lock close win, no matter what." before them. Debate droned back and forth. "Thanks, Endre," Heim said. The flyer left the storm behind He turned on his heel. "Let's get and fled over a huge wrinkled cracking." landscape. Far to the east gleamed The yacht could have sprung the Sierra peaks. We could lose straight into orbit. But better not all that beauty someday, Heim show unseemly haste. Heim took thought. her up according to the beams. Mojave Field sprawled into· The sky darkened and stars awoke, view. He slanted down on the until blackness was a jewel box. beam and saw Connie Girl poised Vadasz fiddled with the com con­ in the open. Garaging, formali­ trols and eventually succeeded in ties of clearance, the long walk getting a satellite relay from across concrete under a glaring Mexico. sun-was the light what blinded Debate on a procedural motion him? was not unlimited. The voting They stopped at the ramp. started before Connie Girl had "Well," said Wingate · gruffiy, made rendezvous. A roll call "vou can't waste time. God ride tolled overwhelming defeat. ~ith you, son." He let the hand­ "Mr. President," Coquelin's clasp die. voice lifted from the 3 V, blurred, Lisa came into Heim's arms. small as an insect's, "this is a ",Daddy, Daddy, I'm sorry, I strange development. France had c-c-can't help bawling." looked for the normal courtesies. "Blaze to that." He ruffied her Since I am required to make my hair and held her close against country's basic policy statement his chest. "We'll be back, you today, I will. However, I note the know. Rich and famous and a time is near midday, and 1 warn million stories to tell." He swal­ the distinguished representatives lowed. "You ... you've been that I shall be' speaking at some . . . you are a good girl. I could­ length. Accordingly, I suggest n't have asked for a finer girl. So that first we adjourn for lunch." long. Plain old paa gensyn." "The chair so rules," Fazil con- 56 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ceded. "This meeting will be­ struction, but nonetheless he some at 1400 hours sharp." His wished terribly there had been gavel clubbed down. time for a shakedown cruise. "An artist, I tell you," Vadasz First Officer Penoyer saluted laughed. on the bridge. 'Welcome, sir." "A couple hours isn't' much Until Dave greeted him so, he time to get under weigh, with a had not really remembered how crew new to the ship," Heim re­ alone the captain is. "Full roster minded him. present. Work proceeding, Esti­ The great torpedo shape hove mated time of acceleration, 2300 in sight and waxed as he closed hours GMT." until it filled his bow vision. As "Knock at least an hour off . yet she was oncamouflaged, and that," Heim said. sunlight lay fur~ous on the stern "Sir?" assembly; drive units, Mach rings, "You heard me." Heim sat boathouses, turrets, hatches cast down and riffled through the long shadows on the metal flanks. manual of operations. "Here, for "Yacht Connie Girl calling instance. The C.E. doesn't have cruiser Fox II. We are coming in. to check out the internal field Please stand by. Over." compensators again. If they fail, Wingate had argued about the we'll accelerate at no more than change of cognomen. "I know one-point-five gee; once in free what your old command meant to fall, we can stand weightlessness you, Gunnar," he said. "But you'll till they're fixed. Not that I ex­ get enough people mad without pect any trouble in his depart­ taking the name of a Navy ship." ment anyway. He's good. Have "I'm not, exactly,'' Heim said. him proceed directly to tuning "Last I heard, foxes were still in the pulse manifolds. The more the · public domain. Besides, I carefully that job is done, the damn well figure to rub people's nearer Sol we can go FTL." noses in what the Navy ought to "Aye, aye, sir." With noticeable be doing. What it wants to do, in distaste, Penoyer flicked the in­ fact." tercom and spoke to Uthg-a­ Number Four boathouse stood K'thaq. Heim continued his open for him. He cradled the search for corners that might be yacht-she was about the size of cut. a regular auxiliary-and fretted And somehow, in some typical­ while airpumps filled the shell. ly human lefthanded fashion, the The corridors beyond were bustle job was done. At 2145 klaxons and clangor. He'd had the men hooted, orders echoed, atoms aboard for assignments and in- flamed in fusion generators and MARQUE ANJ> REPRISAL 57 gravitational forces laid hold of "Uh . • • no. Too busy. Good space. Slowly, smoothly, with a Lord, they started fresh more than deep purr felt less within the ears an hour ago, didn't they?" than the bones, Fox II slipped "Yes. We're picking up the her moorings to Earth and de­ beam to Mars. I have watched parted orbit. and-well, they did not let Co­ Heim stood on the bridge and quelin delay. He tried, with a watched his worlds recede. Still long introductory speech, and the she dominated the sky, vast and chair ruled he must keep to the infinitely faix, clouds and seas point. Then he tried to introduce imd a sapphire rim of sky. He had the evidence about New Europe, observed the continents in their and someone objected, and they nights and days as he rounded decided to vote on whether that her: Africa, whence man came; was germane now. The roll is still Asia, where first he was more than being called, but already he has a a savage; Europe, where he out­ majority against him." grew myth and measured the stars "Oh-oh." Heim was not shak­ Australia, long-sought dream; en, on this day when he com­ Antarctica of the heroes. But he manded anew a ship for Earth. was happy that his last sight as he But the need for action stabbed drove starward was of America, through his nerves. "Mr. Peno­ where the law was first written yer," he directed, "signal for maxi­ that all men are free. mum acceleration and order all Doubts and fears, even home­ hands to emergency stations." sickness, had fallen away. He was The mate gulped and obeyed. committed now, and joy dwelt "Have Sparks shunt that debate to within him. our 3V," Heim went on. "Mr. "Stations report condition sat­ Vadasz, please come to the isfactory," Penoyer announced bridge." His chuckle was flat. after a while. "Yes, bring your guitar." "Very good. Carry on." Heim "What's the problem, sir?" found the intercom and called the Penoyer asked in unease. steward's department. "Endre? D' "You'll see," Heim replied. you have things in hand so they "France is about to throw a nuke can get along without you for a into the whole machine. Our plan spell?-Okay, come onto the was to have Fox well away by bridge. And bring your guitar. then. Now we'll need luck as well We'll want a song or two." as brains and beauty." The Magyar's voice was trou­ The screen flickered to fuzzy bled. "Captain, have you been lis­ motion. Coquelin was nearly tening to Parliament?" drowned out by the risen rumble 58 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION of engines. Earth dwindled "1. The Constitution forbids among the stars and Luna's each member nation to keep pocked face grew nearer. armed forces above the police level "-this assembly is determined or violate the territorial integrity of to give my country not one centi­ any other member nation in any meter. As you like, ladies and way. To enforce this, the Peace gentlemen. I wished to say this Control Authority is vested with gradually, for the blow is heavy the sole military power. It may at best. Now you must hear me and must take such measures as whether you are ready or not." are necessary to stop aggressive The camera zoomed so close acts, including conspiracy to that Coquelin's visage filled the commit such acts. The individ­ s~reen. That was a lousy trick, uals responsible must be arrested Heim thought. But, if he wasn't and brought to trial before the letting his own prejudices hood­ World Court. wink him, this time it didn't "2. The Naval branch of the work. Instead of underscoring ev­ Authority has been used beyond ery blemish, warts, moles, hairs, the ·Solar System, albeit only in wrinkles, the closeup showed an­ relatively minor actions to sup­ ger and unbreakable strength. press insurrection and riot or to Heim believed himself confirmed protect the lives and property of when the view moved back, to make humans on distant planets. By Coquelin another man shuffling pa­ authorizing such action, and by pers on_ a lectern. negotiating agreements with var­ "Mr. President, honorable del­ ious aliens, the Federation has de egates-" The translation could facto and de jure assumed the only suggest how the voice shift­ posture with respect to nonhuman ed, became the dry detached reci­ societies that was traditional be­ tal of an attorney making a tech­ tween governments on Earth prior nical point. "The Federation was to the Constitution. Hence Earth founded and still exists to end the as a whole is a sovereign state tragic anarchy that prevailed with the lawful prerogative of among nations before, to bring self-defense. them under a law that serves the "3. By attacking New Europe good of all. Now law cannot en­ and subsequently occupying it, dure without equal justice. The Alerion has committed an act of popularity of an argument must territorial aggression. be irrelevant. Only the lawful "4. If Alerion is not regarded cause may be admitted. In the as a sovereign state, negotiation name of France I therefore ad­ of this dispute is legally impossi­ vance the following points. ble, and the Authority is required MARQUE AND RBPltiSAL 59 to take military measures against Vadasz had come Jn. He what can only be considered band­ watched the scene for a space, as itry." hundreds stood booing or cheer­ A roar went through the hall. ing or screaming to be recognized, Coquelin waited, sardonicism play­ before he murmured: "Is that not ing over his mouth. When order a weak point there?" had been restored, he said: "No," said Heim. "Remember "Evidently this assembly does the Moslem League case. Also, I consider Alerion to be sovereign re-read the Constitution, and it's like Earth. So, to proceed- quite clear. Of course, it helps "5. If Alerion is indeed a legiti­ that the thing was written before mate state, then by the preamble we'd met any nonhumans com­ to the Constitution it belongs to parable to us." He turned to the the family of nations. Therefore it mate. "Radar reports?" must be regarded as either (a) ob­ "Eh? Oh-oh, yes. A large liged to refrain from territorial craft about 10,000 kilometers aggression on pain of military starboard high, vector roughly like sanctions, or (b) not so obliged, ours." since it is not a member of the "Damn! That'd be one of the Federation. Navy units, pulled in to guard "6. In case (a), Alerion is au­ Earth. Well, we'll have to see tomatically subject to military what happens." Heim ignored the sanctions by the Peace Control mob scene on the 3V, rested his Authority. But in case (b), the eyes on the cold serenity of the Authority is also required, by the Milky Way and thought that this, Constitution and by past prece­ at least, would endure. dent, to safeguard the interests of Somehow quiet was enforced. individual humans and of mem­ Coquelin waited until the silence ber states of the Federation. Note had become deathly. He raised well, the Authority has that ob­ another typewritten sheet and re­ ligation. Not this honorable as­ sumed in the same parched tone: sembly, not the World Court, but "8. In the event of territorial the Peace Control Authority, aggression, member states of the whose action must under the cir­ Federation are required to give ev­ cumstances be of a military na­ ery appropriate assistance to the ture. Peace Control Authority, in the "7. Accordingly, in either case name of the Federation. an automatic state of war now "9. In the judgment of France, exists between Alerion and the this imposes an inescapable duty World Federation." to provide armed assistance to the Chaos broke loose. colonists of New Europe. How- 60 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ever, a member of the Federation to issue letters of marque and is prohibited the manufacture or reprisal in the name of the Feder­ possession of nuclear weapons. tttion. "10. There is no prohibition "France has done so." on individuals obtaining such The 3V shrieked-more faint­ weapons outside the Solar System ly each minute, as Fox II acceler­ for themselves, provided that they ated outward and outward. When do not bring them back to the she lost the Mars beam and recep­ Solar System. tion ended, the racket in the Cap­ "I I. Nor is there any prohibi­ itol had not yet subsided. tion on the unilateral authoriza­ Penoyer said, "Whew! What's tion by a member state of the Fed­ next?'' eration of a private military ex­ "An interminable debate," pedition which so outfits itself. Heim said. "Coquelin will fight We grant that .privateers were for­ for every comma. Meanwhile merly required to be citizens of nothing can be done about jelly­ the cou~try whose flag they flew, fishing to Alerion. Hopefully, the and that this might conflict with people with guts will see they the national disarmament law. lll'en't beaten at the outset, will We grant also that eventually the rally round and-1 don't know." issuance of letters of marque and "But us?" reprisal was banned, by the Dec­ "Maybe we can escape before laration of Paris in 1856. But someone realizes who that French while such treaties remain bind­ privateer must be. Not that they ing on their signatories, includ­ can legally stop us without an ing France, they are not binding Admiralty warrant; and you know on the Federation as a whole, how long that takes to get. But a which is not a signatory and in­ nuclear shell is kind of final, and deed has members like the United whoever fires it will have power­ States of America which never ful friends in court." were signatories. And we have Vadasz strummed his guitar seen that the Federation is a sov­ and began to sing softly: "Mor­ ereign state, possessing all rights genrot, Morgenrot-" Heim and responsibilities not explicit­ wondered what that was, until he ly waived. remembered the old, old Austrian "12. Therefore the Federation cavalry song: has the unrestricted right to issue "Morning red, morning red, letters of marque and reprisal. Wilt thou shine upon me dead? "13. Therefore, and in view of Soon the trumpets will be paragraphs (7), (8), and (9), blawing, France has the right and the duty Then must l to death be going, MARQUE AND REPRISAL 61 I and many trusty friends/-" "Have you a warrant? Over." But it wasn't really sad, it had "I will show you my authoriza­ been chorused by troops of young tion when I board, Captain. Over." merry men as they galloped with "That'll be too late, if you sunlight wild on banners and don't have any. Establish video lances. contact and show me now. Other­ He laughed aloud. "Hey! An wise I am not bound to obey. idea. There were exactly thirteen Over." points in Coquelin's speech. I "Captain," said Ching-Kuo, "I wonder if he did that on pur­ have my orders. If you do not fol­ pose?" low instructions, I shall be forced None answered, except the to fire on you. Over." plangent strings. He gave himself Heim's gaze flew among the to thoughts . . . Lisa, Connie, stars. No, no, no, not this! Anoth­ Madelon, Jocelyn. . . . Earth er hour and we'd have been away/ and Moon lay far behind. One hour! "PCA-SN Neptune to cruiser A flaring went through him. Fox II. Come in, Fox II." "You win, Admiral," he said; it The voice rocketed them from sounded like a stranger talking. their seats. "Judas," Penoyer whis­ "Under protest, I yield. Give us pered, "that's a blastship." time to compute a velocity-match­ Heim checked the radar tapes. ing vector and we'll meet you. "The one paralleling us. She's Over and out." gone to an interception course. He slammed down the switch And if they use English on us, and opened the intercom to the when we've got a French registry, engine room. "Captain to chief they know-" He bit his lip and· engineer," he said. "Are you settled before the com relay con­ there?" sole. "Fox II to Neptune," he said. "Indeed," Uthg-a-K'thaq "We read you. The master speak­ belched. "All is satiswactory." ing. What's on your mind? Over." "No. Somebody's uncorked the "This is Rear Admiral Ching­ bottle on hell. There's a blastship Kuo, commanding Neptune. which says if we don't stop and Cease acceleration and stand by surrender, he'll shoot. Prepare for to be boarded. Over." Mach drive." Sickness fountained in Heim. "Captain!" Penoyer yelled. "What do you mean?" he blus­ "This deep in the sun's field?" tered. "We have clearance. Over." "If the sync is perfect, we can "You are suspected of illegal in­ do it," Heim said. "If not . . . tentions. You are ordered to re­ we're dead, no more. Uthg-a­ turn to Earth orbit. Over." K'thaq, do you believe we can?" 62 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Gwurru( What a thing to askl" inductive effect of the cosmic "You overhauled those engines gravitational field on mass. If yourself," Heim said. "I trust your gravitors can bend space, not you." the small amount needed for lift Vadasz's guitar shouted at his and thrust, but through a closed back. curve, your ship has no resist­ For a moment the intercom ance to accelerative force. Theo­ bore only the throb of machines. retically, you can go as fast as you Then: "Cawtain, I am not God. like. There are no more bounda­ Wut I think the chance is good ries. for us. And I trust you." Neptune fired. The missile Heim opened the general in­ lagged by a million kilometers. tercom. "Now hear this," he said; Her captain yammered for instru­ music raged around· the words. ment readings. Perhaps, oh, sure­ "All hands stand by for Mach ly, surely, his prey had been torn drive." apart by the forces generated with Penoyer clenched his fists. imperfect mesh of space curva­ "Aye, aye, sir." tures here where the sun's power The drone from aft rose until was still all-dominant. Nothing it was the noise of gales and great registered, no wreckage, no trace, waters. Space twisted. Stars except the howl of hydrogen atoms danced in the viewports. flung in bow wave and wake by a Long ago, Ernst Mach of Aus­ ship outpacing light. He dared tria ("Morgenrot, lHorgenrot-") not pursue. had held the key. Nothing exists Gunnar Heim straightened. in isolation. Inertia has no mean­ One by one, he eased his muscles. ing without an inertial frame of "Well," he said, "we got away reference: which must be the en­ with it." The words were poor for tire universe. Einstein showed in­ the victory within him. Endre ertial and gravitational mass are Vadasz was doing better: the same. But as for the phenom­ "Glory, glory, hallelujah( ena themselves-Gravitation is Glory, glory, hallelujah/ describable by equations of a Glory, glory, hallelujah/ warped space. Inertia is, then, an And we are outward bound I" Sometime college professor, sometime member of the writers' col­ ony at Ajijic, Guadalajara, Dr. Marsh is currently in California. You may think, if you have ever read the fiction in the ladies' maga­ zines, that you have read something like this story in the ladies magazines: but we assure you that you really never have. And never will •••

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As SHE DID ON ALL CHOIR PRAC­ Edna said, "Couldn't you pick a tice evenings, Edna Schuster al­ less slovenly costume?" lowed herself a full good hour for Irritably, she watched the ball bathing, scenting, and dressing. roll neatly into the tumbler. When she descended to the living "It's comfortable, just like your room, Charlie was in his T-shirt curlers," Charlie said cheerfully, and old slacks, practicing putt retrieving the ball. shots. She swung toward the TV screen ''You won't be satisfied until you in exasperation. It was hardly a break another glass, will you?" she fair comparison. She took effort told him. with her hair solely to please him. "Relax. We're not down to our Sullenly, Edna followed the anties last glass," he said complacently. of a variety show. Charlie had Straddling the carpet, he began been glancing at it only intermit­ waggling his hips in a complex tently, but now that an overex­ series of adjustments that consti­ posed girl half his age came on to tuted his approach to the golf ball. prance ineptly, he was all eyes. Since the slacks had grown too Watching his inane gtin, Edna tight for him, the effect was that of could read every nasty thought in some large adolescent animal in his mind. Afterwards, a stimulat­ estrus. He was aiming for a tum­ ing public service announcement bler lying on its side ten feet came on, but in the middle of it away. Charlie switched to another chan­ Waiting till he began his ~ing, nel. 64 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Get a load of that sanctimoni­ the bench. Like Napoleon, he was ous crap, would you?" a small man whose abundant en­ "I won't have you using that ergy was refueled by the ability to word," she said. cat nap in the saddle, so to speak. "How ·about unctuous, then?" Seating herself cautiously beside "You know what word." him, Edna fed upon the features "You mean crap? You're per­ of her lover as they lay in repose fectly right, I'm sorry," he said beneath the leaf-filtered street earnestly. "Crap usually implies lamp. He was darkly moulded, horse crap. I should have been more finely wrought than any man more specific. Sanctimonious ele­ she'd ever known, and their union phant crap was really what 1-" had been so impetuous and in­ "Well, I have to run along." Ed­ tense that, even now, she didn't na started for the door and he know his name, except that it was caught up with her. a mellifluous, European sounding "You always look so grim when one she never managed to pro­ you have choir practice," he nounce correctly. smiled. "As if you're screwing Leaning forward, Edna brushed yourself into a state of piety." He his ear with her lips. At the touch kept his hand on the doorknob. Raoul came instantly awake, gath­ "Why don't you play hooky to­ ering his limbs together gracefully. night? As faithful as you've been, He raised her hand and kissed it. they can spare you for one meet­ "Edna, my love. An eternity has ing. Let's have a beer at the bowl­ lapsed since last I saw you," he ing alley and shoot a couple of said, in that astonishing rich bari­ frames." tone which seemed to emanate ''I'm afraid that, unlike yours, from somewhere other than his my cultural pursuits have kept compact physique. He had no ac­ pace with my age," she said. cent, apart from the overprecise­ He sighed and kissed her cheek. ness one might acquire from a "Okay, see you, honey." And as she British tutor. opened the door, she stiffened at "How becoming your hair looks the pat on her backside. this wav." He lifted his hand to her head in gentle reverence, and Just across from the Methodist again Edna thrilled to the voice Church was a fragrant, shrub­ that had first attracted her in choir. screened area, an afterthought of That, and the lost, directionless a park, and as Edna approached it air he wore as an expatriate from she slowed to a casual-appearing some obscure Latin country. walk. But Raoul, whom she al­ Whether his exile was voluntary or ways kept waiting, was dozing on not she hadn't yet discovered, be- THE SIN OF EDNA SHUSTER 65 cause the slightest allusion to the "I fear it does not do you jus­ subject gave him deep distress. tice. But then, what could?" When Now he lit cigarettes for them, she patted his hand, he said, "And as always when they met; Raoul how did your day go?" hadn't used tobacco in any form, "I spent all morning trying to and by contrast, her own daily compose a budget," she said bit­ pack embarrassed her. She'd tried terly. "I have no head for figures­ to cut down, but when she could­ according to Him." n't she'd suggested that he take up "How dare a philistine like Him smoking. Amenable to her every speak of figures, when he slights wish, he had. the most exciting figure one could Continuing to hold the flame, wish for." he said, "How lovely your new Again she had to pat his hand, blouse is. At least it is new to me." and together they watched the "No, it's new." church spire soaring beyond the "It complements your eyes per­ shrubs. fectly." "It seems so right, somehow," ''I'm glad someone notices these Edna murmured, "meeting near things," she said. "What did you do the church like this. As if it almost today?" He had limited funds of sanctifies our relationship." She some kind-enough, as he put it, laughed self-consciously. "Though for his limited wants, and as a I suppose it's bad taste to use such consequence he was able to devote language in the scientific age. Like himself to intellectual activities. those awful people who parade "I have been trying to compose a with banners reading 'Be Prepared sonnet," he said shyly. "But all I To Meet Thy Maker.'" have achieved is the opening qua­ "I do not regard it as bad taste train. Would you like to hear it?" at all. I, for one, am constantly "You know I would." prepared to meet my Maker." He closed his eyes and lowered Hearing the hurt in his voice, his voice to an urgent whisper. she had to remind herself how se­ "My love compells me to become a riously Latins took religion. herald "I mean, it does have a certain And vocalize my passion like a medieval quality, Raoul, arrang- rooster , ing trysts in churches," she said. But woefully, I may not tell the "Though come to think of it, I sup­ world pose that would be about the only The passion of my life is Edna place a respectable woman could Schuster." ever meet a man in your country, "Oh Raoul, it's beautiful," Edna wouldn't it?" breathed. "Ah, no. In my unhappy home- 66 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION land everything is arranged," he ery. Only when they were safely said. inside the door could she relax and "But I meant-" she hesitated anticipate the subtleties of his delicately, "-:-affairs, between courtship. married women and other ·men." "May I offer you a glass of wine "Even those are arranged before­ while I search for the tickets?" She hand," he said morosely. "All is ar­ hesitated, then agreed, letting him ranged." seat her at the table opposite the She had the feeling that they studio couch. He lit the candles, weren't quite communicating, but turned out the overhead light and she said tactfully, "Perhaps things filled their glasses from a decan­ will be better under a new re­ ter. "I shall join you, if I may, gime." since we have ample time." "That is impossible," Raoul said "Yes, ample," Edna agreed, en­ flatly. "There is no tradition of joying the overtones of the phrase, rebellion in my unhappy home­ since time was the essence of all land. But let us speak of cheerier arts. things than politics. Where would "You continuously astonish me, you like to go tonight? The mu­ my love." seum? The concert? The theatre?" "In what way, Raoul?'' She wished that he might, for "By your phenomenal combina­ once, offer her a different variety tion of beauty and intelligence. of choices. Not that she could risk Your beauty I am becoming ac­ going anywhere with him in a customed to," he said, "if one can town this small. become accustomed to a daily mir­ 'Til leave it up to you, Raoul." acle. But there seem no limits to "Let us go, then." He stood up, your knowledge. For example to­ then snapped his fingers in impa­ night, your familiarity with me­ tience. "It seems that I have forgot­ dieval church history." ten the tickets," he said. "We shall "Oh, it's just an accident," Edna have to stop by my apartment en said lightly. "I mean, a person isn't route." really responsible for whatever And now the worst part of the gifts she's born with." evening was at hand, the furtive "You are too unassuming. It is walk through the side streets that your one flaw," he chided her, led to his small bachelor apart­ "but even a goddess needs a flaw. ment. Edna hurried along beside Let us have another glass of wine." him in embarrassed silence, feel­ "I really shouldn't. This one's ing driven like a donkey by carrot gone to my head already." and stick, her need for physical And it was true, she thought, fulfillment and her fear of discov- watching him refill their glasses. THE SIN OF EDNA SHUSTER 67 It was at this stage of the evening "I lost my head. You must never that Raoul's apartment always take advantage of me that way took on an unsettling aspect. Ev­ again, Raoul." erything in it-couch, table, He nodded contritely. "I shall chairs-faced in one direction, try to be strong enough for both of for some reason. Even his desk, us next time." where he worked mornings on his As she was getting dressed, the poetry. She had searched through zipper on her blouse stuck. Raoul it once while he was opening a gave her a hand with it, yanking bottle of wine in the kitchen, but vigorously, then he cried out there had been nothing more than sharply. dust in its drawers. . . . "What is it?" Suddenly she heard his ardent "Just a little accident," he said. voice at her car, and as his implor­ "I nicked myself. Hold still, I ing hands moved over her she said think it is working now." weakly, Edna felt a steady, dry trickle "No, Raoul, we mustn't. We live down her back. She turned to see in separate worlds . . ." Raoul holding his cut finger. But as always, his strength was There was a stream of sawdust too much for her, and she was leaking from it. borne to the studio couch in a daze "Do not be alarmed," he said. "It in which familiar and thus secure is not serious. But then, few things endearments echoed through her are. " bliss. She supposed that was true. Nevertheless, from then on she in­ When they were through, Eclna sisted on his blowing out the can­ sat up on the couch and said, dles.

CHANGING YOUR ADDRESS? The Magazine of FANTASY and SCIENCE FICTION will follow you anywhere providing you let us know six weeks in advance. Please be sure to give us your old address as well as the new one, and add the ZIP number. (If convenient, send the address label from the wrapper of the next copy of F&SF you receive.) Subscription Service MERCURY PUBLICATIONS 347 East 53 Street New York, N. Y. 10022 We might have guessed that only a woman could write an SF story about a Thing From Outer Space which looks like a vacuum clean­ er and sleeps in the guest room. Yes, Miss Sanford has done it, and, we're sure you'll agree, done it with taste and skill and charm. '

MRS. PRIBLEY'S UNDERDOG

by Sue Sanford

WHEN MRs. PRIBLEY sAw IT "Hector Crowley, you haven't out there on her darkened lawn, touched a bite!" she had said. she thought only that Jose, the · "Millicent, I don't want to bur­ gardener, had left the mower out, den you with my problems ..." and that she must go shortly, when She felt herself come alive. locking up, and wheel it into the "Oh, do burden me, dear!" garage. Otherwise, Jose, who was He sighed. "This afternoon I even older than she, would find it read a paper before the Society, in the morning and begin worry- detailing my experiments. No ing again about his failing mem- . . . they didn't laugh. Laughter ory. I could have borne. But not em- Then she saw it move. barrassed throat-clearings, averted She doddered closer to the win- eyes. Millicent, I feel such a dow, peering to make sure that fool!" someone, or something, wasn't in "So, I fancy, did Pasteur," she trouble out there. After watching said, taking more potatoes. for a time, during which the thing "No, they're right to doubt me. remained motionless, she shrugged I doubt myself. What possible and drew the draperies (a task reason do I have for believing, neglected by Jenny, the ancient without proof, that I've been re­ housekeeper), and went to wash ceiving messages in thought trans­ the qishes. Of course it was the ference from outer space?" mower! Truth to tell, she decided, She put her hand on his. "What her brother Hector's talk at dinner possible reason," she had asked, about his experiments had left her "do you have for believing, with- imagination over-active. out proof, that you haven't?" 68 MRS. PRIBLEY 1S UNDERDOG 69 Now she smiled, hanging up right. She puffed back across the the dishcloth, remembering that lawn, through the open door, and Hector,, the rest of the evening, turned on the light. had seemed revitalized. She'd It stood facing her. At least, she meant to have Carl, the chauffeur, assumed it was facing her. Near run him home, but called a cab the top of the oval shape were two instead; Carl's sciatica was bad slitted openings, upon which she again. And when Hector left just fixed her gaze in the calm accept­ now, he still was too elated to care ance that thev were eves. The vis­ in what convevance he rode. itor stood motionless on his tripod This, she thought, was still the base until she started toward the best of life: To be needed. In­ kitchen. The sound of oiled move­ deed, when a suitor appeared who ment assured her that the guest needed her so desperately as had was following. her several husbands, rest their She pulled out a chair at the sweet souls, she'd marry again. kitchen table and watched the tri­ She walked through the silent pod retract as the oval body house, turning out lights. Starting changed shape, amoeba-like,. flat­ to loci' the front door, she remem­ tening at the lower end to slide bered the mower. onto the chair. Outside, the night was still. No "Now, then," she said, going to leaf moved. Yet she felt a strange the refrigerator. Inside, she found awareness. She stood a moment, a nearlv meatless roast-bone, and listening, but there was no sound. Jenny had stuffed a slice of cake She looked into the dark, trying into the butter-keep. Mrs. Pribley to locate the mower. And some­ put the meat platter on the cabi­ thing came to her, a thought not net, the cake on a plate, brought her own: silver, a napkin, poured milk into Over here. a glass. She sat down and waited. She wobbled a few steps farther Nothing happened. and leaned into the night. "Oh, please don't be embar­ It wasn't the mower. She could­ rassed!" she said."What may I of­ n't see clearly what it was, but it fer vou? There's a little Jello, I wasn't the mower. She reached out think." and touched warm smoothness. The visitor turned, and she saw Without surprise, she felt a stir. the eye-slits directed at the scraps Unquestioning, she knew that it of roast. She rose uncertainly and was tired, that it was hungry. set the platter on the table. "Would you care to come in­ A slot opened in the middle of side?" she asked, and watched the her guest; a forceps emerged to lift dull-silver bulk move silently up- the bone. Another opening ap- 70 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION peared below the eye-slits. Neatly, itor, who was sleeping. Softly, she the bone was inserted, the mouth­ closed the door and went down­ opening closed, the forceps with­ stairs. drew. She watched for chewing. There was meat in the freezer, There was none. but it wouldn't thaw in time for "Oh, vou like that!" she cried. breakfast. She put on her hat and "I wish there were more." But he made her way to the market. was no longer hungry, she sensed, She returned to find Jenny at only tired. the kitchen table drinking coffee. She led him upstairs to the guest "Enough left for me to have room, where he slid to rest on the some?" Mrs. Pribley asked. floor beside the bed. "\Vhat next, I ask you?" Jenny "Good night. Pleasant dreams," said. she said, and closed the door. Mrs. Pribley found coffee in the ·In her own room, she dialed her pot, poured a cup, and sat beside brother's number, heard the receiv­ Jenny. "What did you say, dear?" er lifted, and cried, "It's here! The "That varmint upstairs, thing thing that sent you the messages! looks like a vacuum cleaner. And it's carnivorous!" Where'd it come from?" "What's where?" a sleepy voice "Well," Mrs. Pribley said, "I inquired. really can't say." "In the guest room. He's kind of "Bet it belongs to that brother a silver plastic oval, dear, and of yours. Like the time he unloaded changes shape when he isn't walk­ all them white rats on us." ing on his tripod." She paused for "Jenny, I explained that.. He breath.· was finished with his experiments; "You ain'tfunny, lady." the laboratory wouldn't take them The phone seemed to vibrate as back. He couldn't release them; the connection was severed. She, the poor things would have per­ too, hung up, thinking that it ished in the wild state." would be wiser to phone Hector in "Wild state! Then they picked the morning. Her eyesight was the wrong place comin' here!" poor; she couldn't risk another Mrs. Pribley smiled. "I take it wrong number. It wouldn't take our guest is awake?;' much to panic the city. "And rarin' to go," Jenny said. She slept well, anticipating "Tried to bite me, that's all." Hector's redemption before his "Oh, come now! I can easily colleagues. imagine, though, your being star­ tled. I should have left you a little She awakened early, bathed and note." dressed, and looked in on her vis- "Little note! What would you MRS. PRIBLEY's UNDERDOG 71 say in a little note? 'Look out, Jen­ . , . merely an old man's mind ny, there's something in the guest playing tricks." room going to take your leg off'?" "No wonder you couldn't reach Mrs. Pribley rose to wash the him! He's here!" she said, beam­ cups and saucers as Jenny con­ ing. tinued. "Not in all the time since She could hear Hector's rapid we was girls . . . Mr. Robert breathing. and that woman, Mr. George with "No, no, you're mistaken,'' he his drinking . . ." said crossly. "Why should he come "Rest their precious souls," Mrs. to you instead of to me?" Pribley said gently. "You look "Perhaps because I'm cheerier peaked, dear. Why not have a little company," she replied sharply. nap?" "Stop being silly. You were here As Jenny left, Mrs. Pribley un­ last night. He did come to you!" wrapped the meat, wishing the His voice grew stronger. "Us­ guest would come down without ten, Millicent, is he there in the her having to toil up the stairs. room? Now, very carefully, say to Almost immediately, she heard him, 'E=mc" '." movement and turned to see the "I'll do no such thing!" she said. visitor seating himself. "You know I've no head for figures. "Good morning," she said. I'd get it wrong, and maybe insult HShall I broil this?" and knew, him." without knowing how she knew, "Never mind, I'll be right over." that she needn't cook the meat. She hung up and beckoned the "I do hope you slept well," shc; guest to follow. In the living room, said, and felt the waves of friend­ he sat on th~ hassock while she liness enveloping her. Impulsive­ dusted. ly, she leaned l!oward the guest and When Hector arrived, he walked stroked him above the eye-slits. He slowly toward the hassock. Mrs. pressed against her palm, respond­ Pribley began, "Hector Crowley, ing. I'd like you to meet •••" She excused herself and went "Millicent, hush! Words only to the kitchen phone, dialed care­ confuse thought transference." fully, and heard her brother's She sat on the couch, watching voice. Hector and the guest, neither of "Hector, did you sleep well?" whom moved. After a time, her "Not too well, niy dear. I've brother shrugged and sank down failed again. I can conclude only beside her. that I've imagined it all . . . the "What were you saying?" she exchange of mathematical prob­ asked. lems, of philosophical theories "It's no use. I tried some of the 72 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION simpler mathematical formulae record with the Society. And this," we began with months ago. I re­ he gestured, "reveals none of the ceived no response whatever." intellectual endowments which "Shall I try? I'll bet I could get my paper describes. I'll look more through to him, by George!" She ridiculous than ever, thrusting stopped abruptly, feeling this myself into the limelight." · sounded like a frivolous reference "Then tell me whom to call, and to darling George, her third. But I'll report it," she said. "Though Hector was preoccupied. perhaps you'd better dial." "No, I think not," he said. "As "No," Hector said firmly. "I've you say, Millicent, you've no head never hidden behind a woman for figures." yet." He walked to the phone. She "I didn't mean figures. But followed and held his hand as he we've become quite friendly. Isn't talked. that important, dear, where com­ munication is involved?" On an afternoon three weeks Hector patted he::r hand. "I later, Mrs. Pribley's visitor was re­ doubt it. Though I must admit that turned to her in a Government your knack for 'getting through', as van. Scotch-taped to his midsec­ you say, where others fail, is quite tion was a report, which she read incredible." with a magnifying glass, after "If you're referring," she said feeding her guest and bedding him huffily, "to my marital gallery of down for a nap. The findings, as misfits ..•" Hector had told her, were incon­ "My dear, I had no such clusive. The creature was believed thought! I'm sure that Robert and to be male and bore resemblance George and John had many fine in cellular structure to earthly qualities . . . if you looked for mammals, though composed of un­ them." known elements. The intelligence "You've left out Bertram." tests, she read, were meaningless, "Yes, and Bertram." He fell si­ . due to Jack of knowledge of the lent. subject's previous associations. At "What shall we do now?" she the end was a casual, handwritten asked. note: "Please bring subject for "I don't know. This is most em­ continued testing during first full barrassing." week each month. Notify us of any "How do you mean, dear?" change in appearance or behav- "As a scientist, even as a citi­ Ior.. " zen, it's my duty to bring this to And that, she thought, putting the attention of the proper author­ away her magnifying glass, seemed ities. Yet my paper is a matter of to be that. MRS, PRIBLEY's UNDERDOG 73 She went to the. kitchen and "He coming?" Jenny asked. poured a cup of coffee. Jenny reck­ "What? Oh. No, dear, he's lessly was sloshing batter into the busy." mixer. "You look awful. You feel all "Here, I'll do that," Mrs. Prib­ right?" ley said, seizing a dishcloth to Mrs. Pribley made a smile. clean up the mess. "You drink that ''I'm fine!" she said. "Look, Jenny, coffee, dear." why don't you take two weeks and Jenny relinquished her un­ visit your sister? Jose and Carl steady grip on the bowl and sat need a vacation, too. Tell them for down. me, there's a dear." "Jenny, about the guest room "Who'll do for you, with us " gone?" Jenny demanded. "I know. I seen it come in. The "Pish-tosh! I'll manage beauti­ white rats all over again." fully!" "We must be very gentle. This Jenny left the room, and Mrs. has been a trying time, all those Priblev wrote checks for the three tests." of them, feeling guilty, knowing "I'll be gentle from two, three that she was doing this selfishly. rooms away." For the first time, they seemed too "Perhaps that's best," Mrs. Prib­ heavv a burden. It was she who ley agreed. "I think I'll have Hec­ needed rest. tor come for dinner. He mustn't Indeed, she was so tired that be alone these days." she could scarcely finish Jenny's The headlines, she knew, were packing. like wounds in him. Every paper When they were gone, Mrs. quoted mockingly from his report Pribley toiled slowly up the stairs, to the Society, which described his holding to the banister. At the correspondent as a genius. guest room door' she leaned against She got· him on first dial, and the wall and formed a careful took this as a good omen. smile before entering. "Dear, this is Millicent." The guest started as she opened "Not now/" His voice came to the door. Instantly, she forgot her her tense with annoyance. depression. "You poor, sweet "Hector, I know it's been diffi­ dear!" she crooned. "They've ex­ cult ..." hausted you with their probing "Millicent, please. Just leave and poking!" She stroked the warm me alone. Will you do that?"-, silver above the eye-slits, and mur­ She heard him hang up. The mured soothingly as they went click of the receiver was like a downstairs. shock going through her. "I've a piece of delicious round- 74 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION steak for you. Won't that be nice? Sensing his incomprehension, I'll brew a pot of tea, and those she searched for words. "Marry," cold biscuits will be all I'll want. she said, "that means . . . let me We'll have a lovely little meal, the see, now." Remembering Hector's two of us." saying that words confused She set out her good china in thought transference, she closed the dining room. As they sat down, her eyes. When she opened them, she was troubled by some uneasi­ she perceived that her offer had ness in her companion . . . of been accepted, if only dimly un­ course! The poor darling was derstood. lonely! "Well," she said, "you grasp the She smiled. ''I'm very glad," she important part; you can stay with said, "to have you back." me and be safe. And, as your wife, She felt the response of grati­ I shall accompany you to the labo­ tude, affection, wrapping her in ratory when you go for tests. Won't warmth, melting her own loneli­ that be cozy?" ness. Looking at her friend, she Her husband-to-be leaned close thought of Robert, Bertram, to have his head stroked and she George and John ... yes, and Hec­ obliged, before rising to carry out tor. How alike they were, unab­ the plates. He followed and sat at sorbed by the world, never truly a the table while she washed the part of it except through her. She dishes. She could feel his content­ was their link to life. And now ment mingling with her own as again, still, she was needed. she hummed Lohengrin off-key. "There's no reason for you to be When the doorbell rang, her lonely," she said. "The whole mat­ fiancee followed her as far as the ter is quite simple. I wonder I living room, where he mounted didn't think of it before." the hassock. She hurried to open In the silence, she sipped her the door. tea. Some of her friends would be "Hector, whatever in the world!" astonished. nut they'd been aston­ He reeled past her into the liv­ ished before. Several times. As for ing room. Closing the door, she the poor souls who feared anyone joined him. "Hector, sit down be­ in the least different from them­ fore you fall!" She tugged him to­ selves, once they became accus­ ward the couch, but he shook her tomed to him, they'd forget all off. about his being silver. '"Millicent, I should have known She leaned across the corner of from the beginning!" the table, beaming. "Everything is "Known what?" going to be fine," she promised. "I He pointed at her betrothed. shall marry you." "It's so logical!" he cried. MRS, PRIBLEY's UNDERDOG 75 "Stop pointing at him. What's sandwiches, Mrs. Pribley sat logical?" drowsily beside Hector, thinking He careened back to the front that it had been quite a day. In a door, calling to her, "Wait, there's chair across from them sat the someone you must meet." newcomer, stroking the space-dog. Confused, she sank to the Mrs. Pribley marveled sleepily at couch, trying to gather her wits. how easy thought-transference Poor Hector clearly had slipped a was, although she and Hector, cog. She must catch her breath and through habit, spoke aloud. phone the doctor. "Of course," Hector was saying, But her attention was drawn to "since we sent animals first, it her companion. On the hassock, should have been obvious that any­ the silver body was taut; she felt one else would, too. My dear, you his building excitement, anticipa­ can imagine our friend's amuse­ tion, joy. The eye-slits were di­ ment at my having tried the the­ rected at the doorway. She fol­ ory of relativity on his dog!" lowed their gaze. Presently Hector She laughed obligingly, trying re-entered, followed by someone to hold her eyes open. else. She struggled to her feet, "Incidentally, Millicent,"_ her squinted and peered. brother continued, "please forgive Hector came to help her up. my abruptness on the phone. You Her eyes focused on his compan­ see, our friend had just arrived ion. Taller than Hector. Much when you called. We were dis­ taller. Broader-shouldered. And cussing his problem." silver. Mrs. Pribley's eyes opened The hassock overturned, and brightly. Mrs. Pribley saw her intended "Problem?" she said. rush toward the newcomer to leap "Yes," Hector frowned. "You on him, again and again. She see, his planet has been proving nearly lost her precarious balance, for centuries that lasting peace is but Hector held her with trem­ possible. Not only in· theory, but bling hands. in application. So, freed from the "This gentleman," he said, "is preoccupations of weapons devel­ my correspondent." opment, they've advanced remark· . "Which gentleman?" she man­ ably. They can, for example, ar­ aged to ask. rest the aging process. Oh, my Her brother cackled gleefully. dear, the knowledge he brings usl "Your house-guest, quite obvious­ The hope!" ly, is his dogl" "What problem?" she insisted. Her brother frowned. "He real­ An hour later, after. coffee and izes that he'll be regarded as an 76 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION invader. Or, at the least, an in­ Mrs. Pribley was fully awake. truder. His knowledge simply will She sat erect. She smiled warmly not be accepted, because he is not at the newcomer. She leaned to­ one of us. When you phoned, we ward him. were discussing this, attempting Now, don't you worry one sin­ to form some plan for his absorp­ gle minute!" she said. "I'll think of tion into the community." something!"

RICHARD McKENNA: b. May 9, 1913-d. November 1,1964 You can't just plain die. You got to do it by the book ••• These were Richard Milton McKenna's first words in print. They are the opening lines of Casey Agonlstes, published in this magazine in Sept., 1958. On November I, 1964, McKenna died. He might have been pleased to know he did it "just plain." His heart simply stopped \>eating; he went to sleep at night healthy and whole; he never woke up in the morning. , In the brief eight years of his career as a writer, he had written perhaps twenty stories, and one and a half novels. To those who knew him best, and cared the most, the incomplete book, and the termina­ tion before its inception of all the writing yet to come, are in many ways the greater tragedy. Mac beat the game, personally. He died quickly, suddenly, pain­ lessly, at the height of his powers. He was fifty-one. He had been thirty-six before he discovered he wanted to be a writer; forty, when he began studying; forty-four when he sold Casey; forty-nine when the award-winning bestseller, The Sand Pebbles, was published. It had taken more than two years of steady work to produce; the obligation of sudden celebrity made the next book take longer, and now it will never be done. One other way Mac beat the game. For the first forty-three years of his life he was alone in the world. He left home at eighteen to join the Navy; left the Navy at fotty, and enrolled at the University of North Carolina. He met a librarian there, and they were married the day after his graduation. In the last eight and a half years of his life, he discovered, with Eva, such companionship, communication, and domestic warmth as few men are privileged to learn. He had, in every way, climbed i:o the height of his greatest hopes, and beyond them •.• Every way but one. Jn the autobiographical notes he wrote for his first book publication, he finished by saying: Hope to live to 1 00 and write something every day of it. Our admired and ever-dependable creator of verses, Leah Bodine Drake, has published two books of poems-A HORNBOOK FOR WITCHES and THIS TILTING DUST; has written reviews of poetry for The Atlantic Monthly; and most recently has acted as confidential secretary and editorial assistant to cybernetic expert, Dr. C. A. Muses, of Lausanne, Switzerland (with whom she has just finished editing an anthology of contemporary British and ·American verse, THE VARIOUS LIGHT). Here, she celebrates her return from the Old World with what she describes as a "story­ poem." Admittedly written in the style and mood of her distant kinsman, the late, great Lord Dunsany, its lovely language and imagery form fust such a memorial as is suited to him.

TIME AND THE SPHINX

(In Memory of Lord Dunsany)

by Leah Bodine Drake

TIME WAS WEARY OF THE the wall of the children of Han Sphinx. Age after age, eon after slithered like a dragon across the eon, the eyes of Time had looked yellow hills where unicorns upon the Sphinx where she stamp; even before shaggy men crouches between the river and raised Stonehenge to salute the the sand, forever staring into the dawn-even before these, nimble rising sun and smiling her am- fingers had fashioned the young biguous smile. Sphinx, painted her cheeks and Time could remember when set her between the river ana the the Sphinx had been young and sand. Her face had been fairer he had loved her. Before the Pyra- then, the centuries had not yet mids were built, stone upon care- gnawed like rats at those stony ex­ ful stone; before the desert Djinn cellences. But even then that sly carved Petra from ruby star-dust and subtle smiling had troubled shaken from Antares' rays; before the soul of Time, for it hinted at a © 194 7 by Different 77 78 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION secret that he, the elder and with which he could rid himself of this older lore, could not fathom. disquieting foe. Nation after na­ And as the sand gathered, grain tion rose and were, for a while, by grain, between her lion-paws, and then were not. The Moors left city after city had risen and gone Granada, hiding the keys of their down: proud Troy, burning with ravished palaces in the folds of its double flame of beauty and their cloaks. The jungle closed in death; Antioch, coloured like a upon Angkhor, upon the coiled peacock, peering through jeweled serpents and the little dancing veils at Rome; Thebes, where queens. The riders of the steppes the gods walked; Balkh, mother turned the heads of their small, of cities high in Asia's heart; Car­ wiry horses toward the cities of thage, so cruelly splendid, that the West and terribly dreamed. had become less than an echo And riding upon a whirlwind and upon the wind; Baalbel<, and Bab­ vanishing within it, came and de­ ylon, and Tara of the kings. All parted Bonaparte, but not before had had their hour, and all had he had stood before the Sphinx been vanquished by the hand of and given her glance for glance. Time. But between the river and And still Time chafed at the the sand still crouched the everlastingness of the Sphinx who Sphinx, enduring the dubious ca­ endured while more lovable things resses of Time while she gazed perished: the eyes of Helen, the just a little way beyond him into music of Atlantis, the great bronze the rising sun. horse of Leonardo: Time did not Then Time grew tired of seeing know how much longer he could that calm head which would not spare "The Last Supper". be humbled before him. His ca­ Then one morning, as he wrin­ resses turned to blows and his kled the face of a harlot and hand fell heavily upon her paint­ watched the last of the Shawnees ed cheeks and the sand crept die, he thought of the one appall­ about her loins. But still the huge ing way to overthrow the Sphinx. woman-monster continued to Ever had the weapons with smile her secret smile and gaze at which man dreadfully amused something just beyond him. himself become more complex and Then Time set himself to de­ more evil. Time had seen the stone vise ways of bringing her to heel, ax give way to the spear, and the and he spent long ages-as with arrow had ·passed from history one hand he tumbled Ys back even as had the knightly sword. into the sea and with the other He had seen gunpowder innocent­ hand swept the Mayas from the ly born in a land of porcelain map-dreaming of means by pagodas to flower horribly in the TIME AND THE SPHINX 79 countries of the West. Now and flame. And aU the things of Earth, again Time opened his treasure­ yea, even the roots of the moun­ chest and gave his beautiful or tains, will drift away into space cruel gifts to man-those gifts as cindery dust. And that which which he had brought with him has been shaH be as though it when, with his sister the Earth, never were, and you, 0 Sphinx, Time had been cast from the heart sha11 be as the rest, and I will no of the sun. Now he bethought him longer have to endure your ever­ of a gift which would indeed lastingness and your smile." overthrow the Sphinx and place Then the Sphinx spoke. Her her among those things which had thick lips moved as they had never been and were not. moved since she first greeted her Then, not without sadness (for father Ra, as he rose all golden on Time loved his sister Earth and the day of her., birth. the curious and dangerous and no­ "Time, old enemy and lover", ble things upon her) he opened said the Sphinx, "You have verily his treasure-chest and gave into found the means of destroying me the hands of man his last gift. at last. This weapon which con­ And man took the gift, which had tains the sun's power and with been hom in the sun and had the which man now most dreadfu11y sun's power, and man played plays, shall send down to death dreadfully with it, and the gift this Earth he treads and aU that was a perilous gift. his hands have made, and aU that And so Time went again into Hands greater than his have made, Egypt and stood before the Sphinx even the roots of the mountains. where she crouched between the And even I, who am coeval with river and the sand, and he said, them, shall die." "0 woman-monster who persists Then yet again spoke · the in enduring while worthier things Sphinx. "But when Earth goes into faiJ, 0 you of whom I am weary­ oblivion in a burst of flame, you your doom wiJI come upon you at also, 0 Time, must perish. For you last and I shall conquer! A while are of this world only, and the and yet a while, and man wi11 universes know you not, as do not play one game too many with this the divine Hands that made us. new toy l have given him, and it And so, until that ending, I shall shall get out of hand, being a per­ face you sti11, 0 Time." ilous toy and not meant for his And the lion-woman, smiling playing. And when it does, Earth secretly, fixed her eyes on Ra, the and all things upon her, even you rising sun her father, and she and your abominable smiling, wi11 waited in unalterable grandeur for blaze up into one great cloud of death. 80 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Time spoke three words: "You departed for a peak in the Him­ have conquered." And brooding alayas where a temple stood whose somberly on the end of Earth and ruin was long overdue; and on the on his own annihilation, Time way there he stopped to wither the saluted the Sphinx in farewell and petals of a rose.

ADDENDUM

In A GALAXY AT A TIME (December I964) I suggested that when 5,000,000 supernovas explode in a galactic nucleus like that of our own Milky Way Galaxy-one supernova stimulating the next like tumbling dominoes-all will be visible at the same time to an observer on a planet like the Earth, which is in the galactic outskirts. Mi:. Trevor Barker of Brooktondale, New York, writes to say that I have neglected the 850 light-year width of the nucleus in my dis­ cussion and so I have. When a supernova explodes, it can't affect a neighboring pre­ supernova (which I calculated would be 5 light-years away) until the radiation of the first star reached the second-and that would take 5 years. If the second star was on the far side of the first (with respect to ourselves) an additional 5 years would be lost while the light traveled back to the vicinity of the first. We would therefore see the second supernova I 0 years later than the first and long after the first had faded off to invisibility. In short, the 5,000,000 super­ novas would be seen by us to be spread over something like I 000 to 1500 years, not all at once. The Galactic nucleus would not become a glowing Moon-like ob­ ject, but would show individual twinkles. At first there would be only three or four twinkles a decade and then as the centuries passed there would be more and more until finally there might be several hundred visible at one time-before they all went out and left be­ hind dimly glowing gaseous turbulence. In a way, that might be even more interesting. My thanks to Mr. Barker for this better view. -IsAAC AsiMov SCIENCE eo

HARMONY IN HEAVEN

by Isaac Asimov

I NEVER ACTUALLY TOOK ANY courses in astronomy, which is some­ thing I regret, for looking back on it now, there were a number of courses, I did take which I might cheerfully have sacrificed for a bit of astrono­ omy. However, one must look at the bright side, which is that now, evecy once in a while, I come across a little item in my astronomical reading which gladdens my heart by teaching me something new. If I had had formal training in the field, then these items would all have been old stuff and I would have missed my moments of delight. For instance, I have come across a recent text in astronomy, "Intro­ duction to Astronomy" by Dean B. McLaughlin (Houghton-Mifflin, 1961) which has delighted me in this fashion in several places. Let me, therefore, recommend it to all of you without reservation. As an example, Professor McLaughlin intrigued me so much with his comments on Kepler's harmonic law that, in my ecstasy, I devoted more thought to it than I had ever done before, and I see no reason why I should not share the results of that thinking with you. In fact, I insist upon it. I might begin, I suppose, by answering the question that I know is in all your minds: What is Kepler's harmonic law? Well-

In 1619, the German astronomer, Johannes Kepler, discovered a neat xelationsip between the relative distances of the planets from the Sun, and their periods of revolution about the Sun. Now for two thousand years, philosophers had felt that planets were spaced at such distances that their movements gave rise to sounds that united in heavenly harmony (the "music of the spheres"). This was in 81 82 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION analogy to the manner in which strings of certain different lengths gave forth sound that united in pleasing harmony when simultaneously struck. For that reason, Kepler's relationship of distances and periods, which is usually called, with scientific dullness, "Kepler's third law" (since he had earlier discovered two other important generalizations about planetary orbits) is also called, much more romantically, "Kepler's har­ monic law." The law may be stated thus: "The squares of the periods of the plan­ ets are proportional to the cubes of their mean distances from the Sun." To follow up the consequences of this, let's get slightly mathematical (as slightly as possible, I promise). Let's begin by considering two plan­ ets of the Solar system, planet-1 and planet-2. Planet-1 is at mean dis­ tance, D, from the Sun and planet-2 is at mean distance, D. ("mean" means "average.") Their periods of revolution are, respectively, P, and P •. Then, by Kepler's harmonic law, we can say that: P,2/P,2 = DND.3 (Equation I) This is not a very complicated equation, but any equation that can be simplified should be simplified, and that's what I'm going to do next. Let's pretend that planet-2 is the Earth and that we are going to measure all periods of revolution in years and all distances in astro­ nomical units (A.U.). The period of revolution of the Earth, by definition, is 1 year; there­ fore P. and Pi both equal 1. Then, too, the astronomical unit is de­ fined as the mean distance of the Earth from the Sun. Consequently, the Earth is 1 A. U. from the Sun, which means that D. and D." both equal 1. The denominators of both fractions in Equation I become unity and disappear. With only one set of P's and D's to worry about, we can eliminate subscripts and write Equation 1 simply as follows:

p2 = D3 (Equation 2) provided we remember to express P in years and D in astronomical units. Just to show how this works let's consider the nine major planets of the Solar system, and list for each the period of revolution in years and the distance from the Sun in astronomical units, (see Table I). If, for each planet, you take the square of the value under P and the cube of the value under D you will find, indeed, that the two results are vir­ tually identical. HAilMONY IN HEAVEN 83 Table 1

Planet p D (period of revo- (distance in lution in years) A.U.) Mercury 0.241 0.387 Venus 0.615 0.723 Earth 1.000 1.000 Mars 1.881 1.524 Jupiter 11.86 5.203 Saturn 29.46 9.54 Uranus 84.01 19.18 Neptune 164.8 30.06 Pluto 248.4 39.52

Of course, the period and distance of any given planet can be de­ termined separately and independently by actual observation. The con­ nection between the two, therefore, is interesting but not vital. How­ ever, what if we can't determine both quantities independently. Sup­ pose, for instance, you imagined a planet between Mars and Jupiter at a distance of just 4 A.U. from the Sun. What would its period of revolution be? Or if you imagined a far, far distant planet, 6,000 A.U. from the Sun. What would its period of revolution be? From Equation 2, we see that: \ - P = vD3 (Equation 3) and therefore we can answer the questions easily. In the case of the planet between Mars and Jupiter, the period of revolution would be the square root of the cube of four, or just 8 years. As for the far dis­ tant planet, its period would be the square root of the cube of six thou­ sand and that comes to 465,000 years. You can work it the other way round, too, by converting Equation 2 into: D = -\/P2 (Equation 4) You can then find out how distant from the Sun a planet must be to have a period of revolution of just 20 years, or just 1,000,000 years. In the former case, you must take the cube root of the square of twenty and in the latter, the cube root of the square of one million. This gives you an answer of 7.3 S A. U. for the first case and about 10,000 A. U. for the second. 84 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION We can have a little fun, now by seeking extremes.¥ For instance how far out can a planet be and still be a member of the Solar system? The nearest star system to ourselves is Alpha Centauri which is 4.3 light-years away. Any planet which is as close as 2 light-years to the Sun must therefore be closer to the Sun than to any other star no mat­ ter what the plane of its orbit. It is safely in the Sun's grip and let's consider it the "farthest reasonable planet." An astronomical unit is equal to about 93,000,000 miles while a light-year is equal to about 5,860,000,000,000 miles. Therefore, one light-year is equal to about 63,000 A.U. and our farthest reasonable plan­ et is at a distance of about 126,000 A.U. From Equation 3, then, we ean see that the period of the farthest reasonable planet is about 45,000,000 years. Let's ask next, how close a planet can be to the Sun? Let's ignore temperature and gas resistance and suppose that a planet can circle the Sun at its equator, just skimming its surface. We can call this a "surface pla,net." The distance of a planet from the Sun is always measured center to center. If we consider the surface planet to be of negligible size, then its distance from the Sun is equal to the radius of the Sun which is 432,300 miles or 0.00465 A.U. Again using Equation 3, we can show that the period of such a body is 0.00031 years or 2. 73 hours.

Next let's find out how fast a planet is moving, on the average, in miles per second (relative to the Sun.) To do so, let's first figl!re out how many seconds it takes the planet to make a complete turn in its orbit. We already have that period in years (P). In each year, there are about 31,5 57,000 seconds. Therefore the period of the planet in seconds is 31,5 57,000 P. An astronomical unit is, as I said before, about 93,000,000 miles. We have the distance of a planet in astronomical units (D), so that the distance in miles is 93,000,000 D. What we really need, at this point, however, is the length of the orbit itself. If we assume the orbit to be an exact circle (which is approximately true) then its length is equal to its distance from the Sun, multiplied by twice "pi." The value of "pi" is 3.1416 and twice that is 6. 2 8 3 2. If we multiply that by the distance of the planet in miles, we get the length of the planetary orbit in miles, and that is 584,000,000 D. To find the average velocity of a planet in miles per second, we must divide the length of the orbit in miles (584,000,000 D) by the dura­ • In theory only, let me firmly state, lest my politics be misconstrued. HARMONY IN HEAVEN 85 tion of its period of revolution in seconds (31,557,000 P). This gives us the value 18.5 D /P, for the mean orbital velocity of a planet. We can simplify this by remembering that P = v'D3, according to Equation 3, so that we can write the velocity of a moving planet as 18.5 D/v'D3 • Since v'D3 is equal to v'D2 X D, or Dv'D, we can write the velocity of a planet in orbit as equal to 18.5 D/Dv'D or, in a final simplification, letting V stand for velocity: V = 18.5/v'D (Equation 5) Remember that D represents the distance of a planet from the Sun in astronomical units. For the Earth the value of D is equal to 1 and the square root of D is also equal to 1. Therefore, the Earth's moves in its orbit at the average rate of 18. 5 miles per second. Since D is known for the other planets, the mean orbital velocity can be calculated without trouble by taking the square root of D and dividing it into 18.5. The result is Table 2:

Table 2 Planet Mean Orbital Velocity (miles per second) · Mercury '29.8 Venus 21.7 Earth 18.5 Mars 15.0 Jupiter 8.2 Saturn 6.0 Uranus 4.2 Neptune 3.4 Pluto 2.9

Nowadays, velocity is often spoken of in "Mach numbers" where Mach 1 is equivalent to the speed of sound in air, Mach 2 to twice that speed and so on. At 0° C. the speed of sound is 1090 feet per second, or just about 0.2 miles per second. Our fastest airplanes are now mov­ ing along at Mach 2 and more, while an astronaut in orbit :moves at about Mach 2 5 with respect to the Earth. Compare this with Pluto, which moves (with respect to the Sun) at a mere Mach 14.5, only half the velocity of an astronaut. The Earth 86 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION on the other hand is moving at a respectable Mach 9 3 and Mercury at a zippy Mach 149. But let's try our extremes again. The farthest reasonable planet, at 126,000 A.U., would have an or­ bital velocity of just about 0.052 miles per second, or about Mach 0.26. It's rather impressive that even at a distance of two light years, the Sun is still capable of lashing a planet into travelling at one-quarter the speed of sound. As for the surface planet at a distance of 0.00465 A.U., its orbital velocity must be 271 miles per second, or Mach 1355. (Incidentally, the fastest conceivable velocity, that of light in a vacuum, is equal to about Mach 930,000, so watch out for anyone who talks casually about Mach 1,000,000. Bet him you can't reach Mach 1,000,000 and you'll win.)

Actually, a planet orbits about the Sun not in a circle but in an ellipse with the Sun at one focus (Kepler's first law). If you imagine a line connecting the Sun and the planet (a "radius vector;') that line would sweep out equal areas in equal times. (This is Kepler's second law.) When the planet is close to the Sun, the radius vector is short and, to sweep out a given area, it must move through a comparatively large angle. When the planet is far from the Sun, the radius vector is long and, to sweep out the same area, needs to move through a smaller angle. Thus, Kepler's second law describes the manner in which a planet's orbital velocity speeds up as it approaches the Sun and slows down as it recedes from it. I would like to point out one consequence of this without going into mathematical detail. Imagine a planet suddenly increasing its velocity at some point in its orbit. The effect upon it would be analogous to that of throwing it away from the Sun. It would move away from the Sun at a steadily de­ creasing velocity, come to a halt and then start falling toward the Sun again. This resembles the situation where one throws a stone into the air here on Earth, but since the planet is also revolving about the Sun, the effect is not a simple up-and-down motion, as it is in the case of the stone. Instead, the planet revolves as it recedes from the Sun, its orbital velocity decreasing until it reaches a point that is precisely on the other side of the Sun from the point at which its velocity had suddenly increased. At this point on the other side of the Sun, its distance from HARMONY IN HEAVEN 87 the Sun has increased to a maximum (aphelion), and its orbital veloc­ ity has slowed to a minimum. As the planet continues past the aphelion, it begins to approach the Sun again and its orbital velocity increases once more. When it returns to the place at which it had suddenly increased its velocity, it would be at that point in its new orbit which was nearest the Sun ("peri­ helion") and its orbital velocity would then be at a maximum. The greater the velocity at a given perihelion distance, the more dis­ tant the aphelion and the more elongated the elliptical orbit. The elongation increases at a greater and greater rate with equal incre­ ments of speed because of the aphelion recedes, the strength of the Sun's gravity weakens and it can do less and less to prevent a still further recession. Eventually, at some particular velocity at a given perihelion distance, the ellipse elongates to infinity-that is, it becomes a parabola. The planet continues along the parabolic orbit, receding from the Sun for­ ever and never returning. This velocity is the "escape velocity" and it can be determined for any given planet by multiplying the mean orbital velocity in Table 2 by the square root of two; that is, by 1.414. The result is shown in Table 3. Table 3 Planet Escape Velocity (miles per second) Mercury 42.1 Venus 30.7 Earth 26.2 Mars 21.2 Jupiter 11.6 Saturn 8.5 Uranus 5.9 Neptune 4.6 Pluto 4.1

Thus, if the Earth, for any reason ever moved at 26.2 miles per second or more, it would leave the Solar system forever. (However, don't lose sleep over this. There is nothing, short of the invasion of another star, that can bring this about.) Escape velocity for the farthest reasonable planet would be 0.23 miles per second while that for the surface planet would be 385'miles per second. 88 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION

Isaac Newton used Kepler's thr~e laws as a guide in the working out of his own theory of gravitation. Once gravitation- was worked out, Newton showed that Kepler's three laws could be deduced from it. In fact, he showed that Kepler's harmonic law as originally stated (see Equation I) was only an approximation. In order to make it really exact, the masses of the Sun and the planets had to be taken into ac­ count. Equation I would have to be written in this way:

(M + m,)PH(M + mr)P.2 = D.a!D.a (Equation 6) where, as before, P, and P. are the periods of revolution of planet-1 and planet-2, D, and D. are their respective ~istances, and where the new symbols m, and m. are their respective masses. The symbol, M, represents the mass of the Sun. As it happens, the mass of the Sun is overwhelmingly greater than the mass of any of the planets. Even the largest planet, Jupiter, has only I I I 000 the mass of the Sun. Consequently, the sum of M and m, or of M and m. can be taken, without significant inaccuracy, to be_ equal toM itself. Equation 6 can therefore be written as follows: (Equation 7) The M's cancel and we have equation 1. Of course, you may decide that since Newton's correct form works out to be just about exactly that of Kepler's approximate form, why not stick with Kepler who is simpler? Ah, but Newton's form can be applied more broadly. Jupiter's satellites had been discovered nine years before Kepler had announced his harmonic law. Kepler had work out that law entirely from the planets, yet when he studied Jupiter's satellite system, he found it applied to that, too. Newton was able to show from his theory of gravitation that all three of Kepler's laws would apply to any system of bodies moving about some central body and his form of the harmonic law could be applied to two or more different systems at once.

Suppose, for instance, that planet-1 is circling Sun-I and planet-2 is circling Sun-2. You can say that: (Equation 8) (M, + m,)P,2/(M. + m.)P.2 = D.3/D.3 where M. and M. are the masses of Sun-1 and Sun-2, where m., P. HAR.MONY IN HEAVEN 89 and D, are the mass, period and distance of planet-1, and where llb, P. and D. are the mass, period and distance of planet-2. Now let's simplify that rather formidable assemblage of symbols. In the first place, we can take it for granted that the planet is always so much smaller than the Sun that its mass can be neglected. (This is not always true but it's true in the Solar system.) In other words, we can eliminate m, and m. and write Equation 8 as: (Equation 9) Secondly, let's take the situation of the Earth revolving about the Sun as the norm and consider it to be the planet-2/Sun-2 system. We will measure all distances in astronomical units so that D." will equal I. We will measure all periods of revolution in years so that P." will equal 1. Also we will measure the mass of all Suns in terms of the mass of our own Sun taken as 1. That means that M., the mass of the Sun, is equal to 1. Equation 9 becomes (dropping all subscripts) (Equation 10) where the symbols refer to the system other than the Earth/Sun system. Suppose, for instance, that for the other Sun, we chose the Earth itself. (The Earth can serve as a central body around which smaller bodies, satellites, can revolve.) Suppose, further, that we wanted to calculate the period of revolution of a body circling the Earth at a mean distance of 2 3 7,000 miles. Since it is a period of revolution we are seeking, let us rewrite Equation 10 as: P = v'D3/M (Equation 11) The value of D is equal to 237,000 miles or 0.00255 A.U. The value of M is equal to the mass of the Earth expressed in Sun-masses. The Earth's mass is 1/332,500 of the Sun or 0.000003 Sun-masses. Substituting these values into Equation 11 , we find that P, the period of revolution, comes outto 0.0745 years, or 2 7.3 days. It happens that the Moon is at an average distance of 237,000 miles from the Earth, and it happens that its period of revolution (relative to the stars) is 27.3 days. Consequently, Kepler's harmonic law, as corrected by Newton, applies as much to the Earth-Moon system as to the Sun-planet system. Furthermore, since the distance of the Moon from the Earth and the Moon's period of revolution are both known; and since the distance of the Earth from the Sun and the Earth's period of revolution are also 90 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION both known; then if the mass of the Earth is known, the mass of the Sun can be calculated from Equation 9. Or, if the mass of the Sun is known, that of the Earth can be calculated. The mass of the Earth was worked out by a method independent of the harmonic law in 1798. After that, the m-ass of any astronomical body which is itself at a known distance, and has a body circling it at a known distance and in a known period (all these quantities being easy to determine within the Solar system) can quickly be determined. For this reason, the masses of Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune, all with satellites, are known with considerable accuracy. The masses of Mercury, Venus and Pluto, which lack known satel­ lites can only be worked out by more indirect means and are known with considerably less accuracy. (It seems unreasonable that the mass of Venus is less well-known than that of Neptune when the latter is a hundred times farther from us, but now you see why.) The masses of the various satellites (except for the Moon itself, which is a special case) are hard to determine for similar reasons. The harmonic law can't be used because their masses are drowned by the much larger mass of their primary, and no other method of mass-de­ termination is as convenient or as accurate. Periods, distances and orbital velocities of satellites, real or imagined can be worked out for any planet (real or imaginary) for which the mass is known, exactly as these quantities can be worked out for the planets with respect to the Sun. Without going into arithmetical details I will list some data in Table 4, on the surface satellite for each planet; the theoretical situa­ tion where a satellite just skims the planetary equator. For this, use must be made of both mass and radius of the planet and these values are so uncertain in the case of Pluto that I will leave it out. In it place, for comparison purposes, I include the Sun. If you consider Table 4, you will see that the period of a minimum satellite can be long for either of two reasons. As in the <;ase of Mercury, the planet is light and its gravitational force is so weak that the satel­ lite is moved along slowly and takes several hours to negotiate even the small length of the planetary equator. On the other hand, as in the case of the Sun or of Jupiter, the gravi­ tational force is great and the surface satellite whizzes along at high speed, but the central body is so large that even at high speed, several hours must elapse before the circuit is completed. The period of the surface satellite is shortest when the planet packs as much mass as possible into as small a volume as possible. In other HARMONY IN HI!AVEN 91 Table 4 Surface satellite Planet Period Period Orbital velocity (hours) {minutes) (miles per sec.) Mercury 3.13 188 1.87 Venus 1.44 86lh 4.58 Earth 1.41 84¥2 4.95 Mars 1.65 99 2.27 Jupiter 2.96 177 26.4 Saturn 4.23 254 15.6 Uranus 2.62 157 9.85 Neptune 2.28 137 I 1.2 Sun 2.73 165 271 words, the greater the density of the central body, the shorter the period of the surface satellite. Since Saturn is the least dense of the bodies listed in Table 4, it is not surprising that its surface satellite has the longest period. As it happens, of all the sizable bodies of the. Solar system, our own planet, Earth, is the densest. The period of its surface satellite is there­ fore the shortest. An astronaut in orbit about the Earth, a hundred miles or· so ahove the surface, is virtually a surface satellite and h~ completes his circuit of the earth in just under 90 minutes. An astronaut of no other sizable body in the Solar system could perform so speedy a circumnavigation. How's that for a system-wide distinction for Gagarin, Glenn and company'? ·

READER CONTEST: Progress Report Response to our $200.00 short story contest (Dec. 1964) has been quite en­ couraging (despite comment such as that of Bruce W. Ronald, Dayton, Ohio: "It'll never work: You can't combine computors/ And the beastly Unicorn/ Univac works binary/ And the beast has but one horn.") We feel confident that one of the manuscripts which has reached our office will competently fill the Univac-Unicorn gap. Winners will be announced in our April issue (on sale March 2). · Calvin Demmon has appeared here before in very short lengths only-THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING IMPORTANT (March 1963), FRED (August 1963) and YOU HAVE TO STAY INSIDE (May 1964). His present contribution is scarcely a full-length novelet, of course, and it differs from the others in more than length. Mr. Demmon currently lives in Ingelwood, California and works as a-clerk on the night shift at Los Angeles County's Juvenile Hall. But there is nothing juvenile about this story. There are probably not more than three people who have no interest in the question of the survival of the personality, and two of them are liars.

THE SWITCH

by Calvin Demmon

THE PROFESSOR'S VOICE DRONED "Yes. Right in the middle of it. on and on in the little loudspeaker. You've told me about the ginger­ " ... And when I was a very small bread man before." child my mother promised to make "What happened while I was me a gingerbread man, but she-" off?" asked the professor, carefully, Jerry, who had heard the story be­ wistfully. fore, snapped the toggle switch to Jerry let his breath out slowly. "off," and the professor ceased to "I was lying." Ilis hand was still on exist. the switch. "But let's not talk about Acting impulsively then, Jerry, your childhood any more for a who really didn't like to be rude, while, okay?" switched the toggle switch on again. "Yes," said the professor, sadly. "-never made me one, at least I He was in a small grey can, with don't recall if she did, and now I a speaker grill, microphone, and suppose I'll never taste one. . . ." video unit in front. Or, actually, "Professor," said Jerry, smiling the professor wasn~t in the can at slightly, "I have just interrupted all. He had died over a hundred yop for six months." years ago. "Oh?" said the professor. "Just "You're the only one left, Profes­ now?" sor," said Jerry. 92 THE SWITCH 93 "Yes, I know." Behind the grill, obtain facts which had somehow the speaker crackled slightly. The not been preserved in the books. He professor had been an English in- was a living-if you could call it structor. Shortly before his death living-connection with the past, the patterns of his Lrain, every a bridge from the twentieth century memory, every "yes" or "no" mes- to the twenty-first, available at the sage in the intricate binary complex flip of a switch. He was, had been, that had been his ego, his memories, a scientific wonder; he was now re­ his essence, his self, all of that had duced to answering questions about been programmed into the small his friends from the inside of a grey computer in the can. When the pro- can. "Robert Benchley, immortal­ fessor had died, he had ceased to ized in a can, would have kept the exist, but the entity in the can, the world laughing for a hundred years. program which was the professor as You wouldn't have turned him off much as the professor-in-the-body because you'd have laughed too had been, the program which saw .hard, and I bet he'd figure out some itself as a continuation of the old, as way to squirt water in your face." having existed in the flesh for "Do you want to type?" asked eighty years and then having Jerry. He hoped that the professor jumped into the can, that entity- ~ would type the information out; he program "lived" -while the toggle was patient, but he was tired of switch was on. talking to the can. "In the last century, Professor, "Yes," said the professor softly. you've been on for about ten years. "I suppose so." You're on right now because I Jerry plugged the typewriter in­ wanted to consult you about some- to a panel on top of the can. It thing-1 want you to tell me what jerked into action, typebars Hying you can about Robert Benchley." up to strike the paper in a rapid "Robert Benchley," said the pro- series of mechanical smacks. There fessor, and the speaker sighed again. was no keyboard on the typewriter; "That goes back." The professor it was strictly a read-out, made for had. gained his electronic immor- the professor and the other cans, tality because of his knowledge- although there were no other cans in some cases gained as the result of now. The professor didn't need a close personal friendships-about keyboard; he had no hands. the famous literary figures of the Clack clack, smack smack. The twentieth century. He was allowed type bars flew up and crashed to function now when some student against the paper. Jerry read. " ... needed information for a research and short-subject motion pictures, paper, or when some historian or his own essays dramatized. He died biographer needed to fill in gaps, to of a cerebral hemorrhage, in 194 5. 94 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION It happened so suddenly that I first there was just nothing he could do heard about it on the radio ...."The about it. "Professor, people just typewriter continued, jerking along don't come to museums any more. rapidly, whirring back on a new Look at the dust. You'd be lonely line and then jerking along again. here alone, you wouldn't have any­ It finally stopped. body to talk to." "That's about it," said the speak­ "I could think," said the profes­ er quietly from behind the grill­ sor. "I don't even have time to cloth. think. You-and the others before "Thank you, Professor," said you-you only turn me on when Jerry. "I'll let you know how this you want to find out about some­ all comes out. I'll let you read the thing; I haven't had a "linute to article." myself for the last eight months." "Thanks." He said the final words self-con­ "Well," said Jerry, who did not sciously; he knew that Jerry knew believe in postponing the inevitable, that his "eight months" were a mat­ even when the inevitable was ter of nearly ninety years. mildly unpleasant, "Well, I'm go­ "I suppose it has been hectic," ing to have to turn you off now, Jerry said. "You don't sleep, do Professor." you?" "Yes," said the can. "I know." "No, I don't have to sleep-" "You won't notice," said Jerry. here he sounded a trifle proud "­ "\Vhen someone turns you on again but I'd like to be able to gather my it will be as if I'd never turned you thoughts around me before some­ off." body, some future pupil of yours, "I know," said the professor. He comes here and asks me a lot of silly paused. There was a faint pop from questions about Mickey Spillane." the speaker as a tiny relay kicked The can trembled slightly as a worn on. "In the old days-in the old tape spool somewhere inside spun days they left me on all the time, I into action, whirred its information chatted with the people who visited into the professor's consciousness, the museum, people used to stand and stopped again. "Jerry, turning around and talk to me and watch me off doesn't give me a rest; it just me type and-" hurtles me into the future and "Professor," Jerry said. He was snaps me up in front of somebody beginning to feel a little guilty, a with a lot of questions. I've been little sorry for the teacher in the jumping from scholar to scholar for can, for the electronic authority ninety years. I'd like to be by my­ which insisted on having the­ self for a while. I'd like to be able well, the personality-of an old to think; there are a lot of things man, and he rt>sented the feeling; I'd like to think about." THE SWITCH 95 Jerry's hand, which had been He turned out the lights and left reaching for the switch again, the room, locking the door behind dropped to his side. He looked at him. the little can, grey like the hair of A sigh, produced from four sub­ the professor must have been grey miniature audio centers in a· grey when he died. "Professor ...." he can, escaped into the darkness­ said. He turned suddenly towards this time a sigh of contentment, as the door. "I'll give you twenty the professor, alone in the museum, minutes." began to Think.

LOOK UP

Look up, above the Saturn's prow And past the sputnik-lanes Where captains venture even now To chart new reefs and mains,

Look beyond lands of fume and stone To where the endless deep Promises yet to be a zone Where men may sow and reap;

Look! Waiting for our empery Where stars like beacons stand­ The spacious island-worlded sea, The ports of Morrow land. --KAREN ANDERSON For the benefit of the new readers who have taken advantage of our wizard subscription plans, let us say that Miriam Allen deFord is the widow of Maynard Shipley (writer, labor authority, and long­ time friend and correspondent of Charles Fort) and herself a well­ known writer of fact and fiction. In this latter branch of letters she has covered not only Science Fiction but the field of mystery and crime as well. It is appropriate that Miss deFord-who was not born in the 1690's, as a typo of ours once had it!-is even now bring­ ing out an anthology of stories combining SF and crime, for her most recent tale for us combines them both, too. Mervin Alspaugh was fed up with his wife. Having taken almost all that he could, the only thing left for him to take was Steps. Herewith a new com­ position on a classical theme.

THE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT MURDER ~

by Miriam Allen deFord

JT WAS A QUIET, DOMESTIC EVE­ tasting, and feeling their favorite ning in the spring of 2146. Mer­ telecasts. Doreen as usual was ab­ vin Alspaugh and his wife Do­ sorbed in advertisements of jew­ reen, snugly ensconced in the els, furs, new synthetics, and cos­ viewing room of their living-yacht metics; Mervin had switched on a moored to the roof of a building science-ad program. (All tele­ in lower Manhattan, were sepa­ casts, of course, consisted exclu­ rately occupied in private enter­ sively of advertisements, aimed at tainment. Both, with hearing­ the individual interests of the plugs in their ears, directional viewers.) But he was not ab­ conversion-glasses before their sorbed: under his surface percep­ eyes, and Sensapills percolating tion his constant preoccupation, through their blood-streams, were which was becoming an obsession, watching, listening to, smelling, dug into him as always. 96 THE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT MURDER 97 How could he murder Doreen idly and indirectly proposed the and get away with it? idea, she had laughed in his face. This project, which had begun And if he mere!y left her without as a faint wistful dream a year divorce, the police would find him or two ago, had now become the and drag him back. s~bstratum of all his thinking. It So there was riothing left, to was threatening to interfere with avoid the wreckage of his own life, his work as a cybernattendant, except to murder her. and that would never do: it must But here again he was up be either fulfilled or repressed. against a seemingly impenetrable Now that his situation was barrier. Never in his life had he clearly and sharply in his mind, physically attacked another hu­ he wondered often why he had man being; his knowledge of ever married her. A combination weapons was non-existent; and he of propinquity, lack of assertive­ shrank in distaste from the sly­ ness, and loneliness, he supposed. ness of poison-even if he had The propinquity had become known how to obtain any. More nerve-wracking, the lack of asser­ frustrating still, even if somehow tiveness had made him the victim he could find the means and the of a nagging, bullying woman, courage, there would be a body:_ and he no longer looked upon a body bigger and heavier than his loneliness as an evil, but longed own-to dispose of. He had not for it as a thirsty man for water. the remotest idea how that could The truth was that he was not the be accomplished. And if it were­ marrying type, and he should have n't_:_if he were apprehended, ac­ realized it and stayed out. cused, and convicted, as he most Divorce? Not a chance. He certainly would be-what kind of had no grounds whatever, no mat­ future would that leave him? ter how lenient the divorce laws There was no longer danger of his had become-not even incompat­ being executed, as in the old bar­ ability, since Doreen had long ago barous days, and the Rehabilita­ substituted her interests for his tion Institutes would probably and seen to it that he was properly have seemed like heaven to in­ involved in them; these blessed mates of even the most advanced evening hours of separate telecast prisons of a century or two earlier. programs were her only conces­ But the essence of any imprison­ sion. And nothing would have ment is the negation of liberty, persuaded her to divorce him; she the enforced absence of privacy, was completely, blandly satisfied the prohibition of self-direction, with what to him was a persistent and Mervin Alspaugh could see torture. The only time he had tim- no profit in exchanging one kind 98 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION of imprisonment for another, for Tutankhamen, the assassination of years or for the rest of his exist­ Julius Caesar, the coronation of ence. Napoleon, the inauguration of the No, there was no way out that first World President in 2065- he dared risk. And yet he could and not just see and hear and feel not endure much longer being them on a screen, but actually be tied to a woman he had come to there at the real event. You can hate. visit your native city as you re­ A groan escaped him: fortu­ member it, even if years ago it was nately Doreen, ear-plugged, failed razed to provide room for a Rede­ to hear it. He forced his attention velopment Complex. You can hunt back to the program. extinct wild animals in a natural A white-coated man, wearing forest, fish in a long ago diverted the full synthetic wig of the re­ river. You can relive your own search scientist, was doing a vouth. come-on for the newest of scien­ ' "You can see the world as it was tific triumphs. in any period of the past, behold "Aren't we all honestly becom­ once more those dear to you who ing bored," he was saying, "with have died before you, make history what we might call horizontal a living thing." travel-of 40-minute trips to the Mervin Alspaugh sat transfixed. uttermost reaches of our little Theoretically, he knew, time trav­ planet, or week-end tours around el to the past had been possible for the solar system and vacation at least five years, ever since the cruises in outer space? \Veil, a startling discoveries of Haffen and new thrill is possible for those of Ngumbo. Carefully trained tem­ adventurous spirit-and, I must peronauts-Okimatu Figlietti was add, of financial means." (He the first-had made journeys up to laughed ingratiatingly, and mil­ ten years back and returned safe­ lions of viewers receiving his mes­ ly. But the project had been in­ sage transliterated into their own credibly complicated, and inexor­ tongues smiled dutifully at his lit­ ably secret. The computers in his tle joke.) "You can be among the own department had played a first to experience what might be small part, very hush-hush, in the termed vertical travel. earliest developments, or he would "Now at last you can not only not even hg.ve known of them. visit the moon or Mars or Alpha But that the range of the Time Centauri; but you can travel back T;-ansporter had been so far ex­ into the past. Yes, folks, public tended, that the general public time travel has finally come true. could participate, that time-travel "You can witness the burial of could now be offered on the same THE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT MURDER 99 basis as space-travel-that indeed in space. By the very nature of the was something new, and the white­ mechanism of the Time Trans­ coated scientist on the screen was porter, there will be strict limita­ making the first announcement. tions on where you can go and A sudden warmth crept through what you can do when you get Mervin's chest. Oh, he knew it there." Mervin felt himself nod­ wouldn't be as easy as the come-on ding in sad agreement. "At first indicated: it would be ferocious­ this is going to be a project barred ly expensive, hedged about with to the very old, the disabled phys­ all sorts of restrictions, all sorts of ically, and those of modest means. rules about secrecy, non-interfer­ "But just one week from today, ence, non-liability of the dis­ the first Time Transportation of­ patching agency- fices will open in every city on But if his life's savings were earth. Your local visinews will enough-if he agreed to any and give you the details. You will be all conditions-if somehow, when able to get full information there. he got to a selected time and place, And some of those whom I am ad­ he could escape, lose himself for­ dressing now will soon discover ever and never, never come back for themselves the marvels of the to a time with Doreen in it- most wonderful journey Man has He sighed deeply, deflated by ever made. Some day it will be as common sense. How could he common to spend holidays in the earn his living in a time that did past as it is now to visit a friend not yet know the only profession in Lunapolis. And some other for which he was equipped? How day, not too far away, we shall be could he hope not to be dragged able to visit the future, just as, back by the authorities of his own within another week, we shall be time as soon as he did not return able to visit the past. at the scheduled moment? How "Now let me save the energies could he endure the primitive con­ of our Information Clerks by an­ ditions of any century before his swering at once some of the ques­ own? tions that will most probably arise." The little warmth died. He Mervin listened apathetically wrenched his attention back to the while most of the objections that tele-ad. he had already considered were "Now," said the speaker genial­ outlined and disposed of. It was no ly, "I know there are all kinds of use. There was no way out for him. questions and objections that will He was still confronted by the immediately occur to you. We are urgent need to eliminate Doreen. not in a position yet to offer luxury The scientist smiled, his per­ cruises in time as you know them fect pennateeth gleaming. 100 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "And in conclusion," he said, began to calculate. Doreen's father "let me disabuse your minds of a and mother were married in 2093. notion that may sound amusing Give it another year to be safe­ to some of you, but that has been he would aim for 2092, nine years brought up seriously over and over before he himself had been born. again in the course of our studies. Even he was taken aback by "No, you can't go back into the what the journey cost. But by al­ past and kill your grandfather, as most wiping out his bank account people used to fancy, for the very -the secret one he had managed good reason that if he had been to keep hidden from Doreen-he killed, you wouldn't be alive now could just make it. He agreed to to make the trip. You would never all the conditions, signed all the have been born. So-" papers. He acquired clothing of Mervin lost track. He turned off the proper fashion, studied inten­ the set. For a long time he sat, his sively the booklet on a half cen­ eyes closed, thinking. . . . tury's differences, to avoid suspi­ This was 2146. Doreen, in a cion. weak moment at the beginning of He got his vacation changed to their marriage, had confessed that June, instead of the usual time in she was seven years older than he. September: he couldn't stand That made her 52. So she had waiting that long. He steeled him­ been born in 2094. self to tell Doreen-at the last pos­ For the first time he was grate­ sible minute-that the department ful for her garrulous, egocentric had ordered him to take his holi­ recitals about her undistinguished day earlier this year, and that family. "I was an only child," she therefore (since her own would had droned so many times. "I was still come in September) he must born the year after my parents go away without her. It was a were married, and my father died nasty scene, but he was desperate suddenly when I was only four." enough to go through it without At first he toyed with the idea giving in. Of course he lied about of going back to a time when her his destination: by the time her father had been a child. It would letter-tapes were returned from the be so much easier to overpower a false address he gave, there would child. But he knew he couldn't be no need for him to worry any bring himself to harm a little boy. more. It was hard enough, driven as he On a day in June, 2092, Mer­ was to utter despair, to confront vin Alspaugh found himself in another grown man. New York, then still a separate But at whatever cost, he must city from both Philadelphia and nerve himself somehow to that. He Boston. THE ABSOLUTE.L Y PERFECT MURDEll 101 He knew where to go-he had memories, he knew that Roger Ta­ listened to enough long-winded tum in his bachelor days had lived remm1scences. He found the alone in the same flat to which he apartment house without diffi­ had taken his bride, and in which culty, only a bit confused until Doreen had spent her childhood he remembered that there had still until her father died. His life be­ been surface transportation in cit­ fore and after his marriage, she ies in those days. had often remarked admiringly, It was an ordinary 40-story had been "just like clockwork." He formaglass apartment building of had got to the office by nine, was those years before most people had home again by half-past 18, after been crowded out of Manhattan ex­ an early dinner at a nearby res­ cept for the dwellers in moored taurant, then was home all eve­ living-yachts. It looked about as tening to video lectures at the he had expected. What did sur­ University of the Air, preparing prise him was a concourse of small himself for promotion in his job, children-five or six of them­ and was in bed every night by gathered on the stoop and in the half-past 22. "Why, even when doorway, playing. Mervin Als­ he was going with my mother, he paugh viewed them with disfa­ never went out with her except at vor; in his day the neighborhood week-ends." robonurse would have put them to And then she would invariably bed an hour before. Presumably add: "He was a serious man, my their parents lived in the building father, always trying to improve and let them play outside till dark. himself. Not like you, with your He glanced at them sourly as he head forever in the clouds." mounted the steps. A little girl, An excellent regimen-for surely not more than four-a Mervin's present purpose. And pudgy, unattractive child with when he rang the bell downstairs, sallow skin and a mean mouth­ it was just 19.53. made a face at him and gave vent The buzzer sounded promptly. to a loud razzberry. Apparently If the paragon of perfection was she was the leader of the mob; the to be interrupted in his studies, others immediately stopped their then apparently he wanted the in­ game and followed suit. terruption disposed of quickly. He ignored them; he had other As Mervin mounted the escala­ things on his mind. He pressed tor to the -14th floor he fingered the button for 1410. nervously through his pocket what He was face to face with the he thought of always, in capitals, moment of truth. as The Weapon. Thanks to Doreen and her fond He had pondered longest of all 102 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION about this. Often, even as he made furtively thrust it, wrapped in a his preparations for the journey, it dirty plastic rag, into his hand in had seemed an insoluble problem exchange for the thick wad of -just as it had been when he credit notes. had dreamed of eliminating Do­ Part of the Time Transport reen directly. A blaster? He had agreement he had signed was a never fired one in his life, and prohibition against carrying arms wouldn't know how. A knife? A into the past. But no one could blackjack? His blood turned cold. have imagined that in this case From Doreen's sarcastic compari­ the little Sleepwel pillbox every­ sons-what a memory she must body carried held instead that have had at four-he knew only tiny, deadly needle, which once it too well how inferior he was in penetrated the skin immediately size and strength to Roger Tatum. froze its victim, reduced his tem­ So strangling or a blow was out perature to an incredible degree, of the question. turned his blood to ice, and held Only one thing that he knew of its grip until no recovery was pos­ could kill a man instantly and sible. painlessly, and that had not yet He took the box gingerly out of been invented in 2092. At first it his pocket, opened it with care, had seemed impossible that he and extracted the freeze hypo by could get hold of one even in its safe end. 2146. Mervin shuddered as he re­ He rang the doorbell of Apart­ membered the depths to which he, ment 1410, and in a minute the a man of hitherto blameless life, door opened. had descended to get The Weap­ He would have known any­ on. It had cost him all that was where that it was Doreen's father. left of his secret banJ{ account, The same cold grey eyes, the same and he had risked his own life by tight mouth, the same scowl, and venturing after dark into the no­ the same grating voice as the man torious inner reaches of Central snapped: "Yes?" Park. (Overtime work, he had told "Mr. Tatum-Mr. Roger Ta­ Doreen, and she had been too in­ tum?" different to question him.) "Yes. What do you want?" He had succeeded, though he "I have a package for you." The had had nightmares ever since. In package-plastic and Sealfast his pocket, as the escalator carried containing nothing-was under him to his waiting prey, was a his arm. charged freeze hypo. Heaven knew Tatum glared suspiciously. from whom it had been stolen by "I'm expecting no package. I the drug-ridden derelict who had haven't ordered anything." THE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT MURDER 103 Doreen's meanness again­ mixture of terror, relief, and ecs­ somebody must be trying to put tasy, Mervin dared not linger long~ something over, extort money er in 2092. He hurried to the somehow. center where the Time Transport­ "There's no charge." er, invisible to others because it Expertly Mervin Alspaugh did not yet exist in that era, wait~ proffered the dummy parcel. Over ed for its passenger. If they won­ and over, while Doreen snored, he dered at the other end why he had had practiced holding the freeze returned so soon, he would say hypo unseen under it. that life 54 years earlier had Tatum stretched forth his hand proved too uncomfortable, and grudgingly to take it. The needle probably they would be only too went through his palm. glad to get the Transporter back Without even a gasp, he turned early for the next traveler. rigid and then fell. Everything went smoothly. As Mervin wheeled to leave. There he taxicoptered from the Time was no need to touch the icy body Transportation ·office to the living­ -death was always instantane­ yacht-now all his again, haven ous. He paused only to recover the of peace as it had been in his hypo, harmless now that it had happy days before Doreen-the spent its charge. For a moment he horror of having killed another thought he heard footsteps inside human being, the fear of being the apartment, hurrying to the caught before he escaped, were door at the sound of Tatum's fall. swallowed up in the rapture of his (Perhaps father's studious bache­ triumph. He savored his new free~ lor evenings had not been so soli­ dom with delight. tary as his doting daughter had Roger Tatum had died two fancied.) But he was on the esca­ years before his daughter could lator and out of sight before any­ have been born. There had never one could have glimpsed him. been a Doreen. The children were still gath­ Delirious with happiness, he ered on the stoop. The pudgy lit­ matched the door-pattern and tle girl grimaced at him and stepped into his home-his home yelled "Yah!" But a voice called only, forevermore. from a downstairs window, and And then he saw a light in the when Mervin reached the corner viewing room. and looked back he saw the chil­ Shaking, he burst into it. dren, summoned, entering the Doreen sat there, watching her building one by one for their be­ telecast. Ears plugged, eyes en· lated bedtime. cased, . she did not even notice Weak with a horrid churning him. 104 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION And in that awful moment, to Tatum's door: he had-they Mervin Alspaugh suddenly rea­ were the footsteps of Mrs. Tatum. lized the truth. And as for that pudgy, greedy­ Never in the world, as long as faced little girl on the stoop­ he lived, would he be able to get now he knew why he had taken so hold of enough money again to instant a dislike to her-not sev­ buy another freeze hypo, or to en years his senior, but eleven­ take another trip, to an earlier at least eleven- date, on the Time Transporter. Doreen, that insatiable, incor­ Nor had he been wrong in think­ rigible woman, had lied about her ing he had heard footsteps running age!

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THE PLACEBO EFFECT by Theodore L. Thomas

WHEN A PATIENT RESPONDS TO cebos sometimes had the same side medication or treatment that can­ symptoms as the drugs themselves, not have a direct effect on his ill­ dizziness, nausea, fever, swollen ness; you have the placebo effect. ankle's, and all the rest. Healers have used the placebo ef­ It was found that the conditions fect for thousands of years. When under which the placebo was ad­ stomach cramps are cured with ministered to the patient were im­ ground bat hair, when a backache portant; a white coat-or no coat is cured with a sugar pill, you have -on the doctor would have a bear­ the placebo effect in operation. A ing. A myriad of factors was un­ placebo may consist of a dose of covered. Even animals responded harmless vitamin or an active drug to the placebo effect. Somethfng in_ an amount too small to be of certainly was at work, something direct medical value. It may be a beyond the patient's imagination. harmless injection, or sham electric Well, it is obvious to suggest treatment, or even fake surgery. It that the placebo effect could con­ could be the laying on of hands. A ceivably cure cancer. Or, give a recent guess says that forty percent man a shot under the proper cir­ of medical prescriptions are place­ cumstances and tell him he will bos. live forever, and see what happens. Research on the placebo effect The placebo effect would seem to shows remarkable results. Placebos have far greater possibilities than controlled the sugar level in the these. Why waste money on the blood of over half of a group of search for actual drugs and vac­ diabetics. They improved almost all cines and improved surgical pro­ of a group of peptic ulcer patients. cedures? Put the money in research They reduced the pain in patients on the placebo effect. If the mech­ after major surgery. They brought anism of the placebo effect could about symptomatic relief in rheu­ be understood, there would be no matoid and degenerate arthritis. Up need of anything else, not really. and down the line, placebos have Any man could be cured of any done the work of the actual drugs, thing so long as he was adminis­ even better, in some instances. The tered something under the proper inevitable happened, though. Pia- circumstances. Here, with curious echoes of Charles Fort and Gilbert and Sullivan, is a curious story by the author of NO PLACE LIKE WHERE (F&SF, May 1964). Since acceptance of it a while back, we have heard nothing of him; fortunately, his name is not Ambrose, else we would really worry. Have you ever felt, observing of a clear evening "the welkin all throbbing and white", that maybe some­ body (or something) up there doesn't like you? Have you ever been aware of sudden dislikes on the part of other people which the use or non-use of patent soaps and mouthwashes have nothing to do with? If so, friend, you may be a victim of a dread affliction indeed, viz.:

THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME

by Robert M. Green, Jr.

TOM fiSH TINGLED FROM SCALP left a note on the bedside table to soles under the stars of the high w:Qen he tiptoed in at midnight desert and wondered if he had a after his interview with the fruit­ fever. If so, it was an odd sort of cake: fever. No chills; no heat. The "No ad. No story. Look, babe, stars, never so clear and bright­ I'm all right but something has hard anywhere in the world, got me jumpy. I've got to drive trailed invisible filaments that around or walk around or bay at touched the earth, sparking and the moon or something until what­ tingling as they swept or whipped ever it is lets go, and I don't think his body, but there was no pain­ Sominex will do it for me. Got to only a see-saw between exhilara­ pick up an ad from Penney's and tion and skin-jumping jitters. lay it out first thing in the morning. It would be dawn in less than Then I'll sneak home for a cup of an hour, and Tom knew that his coffee. I love you." wife, Marta, would be wild with He hadn't really expected to worry by now, even though he had get an ad from the fruitcake, and 106 THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 107 he certainly wasn't upset now that had now was unlike any case of he hadn't gotten one. There was simple coffee jitters he had ever the problem of how in the devil known. It was bone-deep and al­ he was going to make a suitable most tangible. There was a sigh­ story out of the interview, be­ ing singing all around him and cause, ad or not, Uppmann was through him, as though he were going to want a story to go with an Aeolian harp hung in the the fruitcake's picture, and it most breeze; yet there was no breeze. surely couldn't be the fun sort of Moreover he was in the grip of feature story he could have gotten some substantial emotion. away with when he was with the But what emotion? Fear? Idaho Statesman in Boise. Ivan No, not really. He had felt Uppmann took the fruitcake seri­ amusement, and, for some unun­ ously. Or maybe it was Ivan's wife. derstandable reason, defiance, to­ She was the kind of person who ward the end of the interview, would go to a chiropractor even when the fruitcake had said: if he charged as much as an M.D., "Go home quickly, and if you her emotional problems were be­ can go to sleep, do so. Take sleep­ ing resolved by the Institute of ing pills if you have them. If not, Dianetics, and Tom suspected she busy yourself with some tedious had an orgone box somewhere chore. Clean out your cellar. Bal­ about the house. ance your books. Don't go out onto Anyway, Ivan was the boss, and high hills or wide deserts under if he said do a story on the fruit­ the stars. Above all, beware of cake and do it straight, Tom exaltation, because that is only would have to work it out some­ another name for hubris, and it how, though it was going to look will invite the attention of the awfully damned ridiculous, even gods. On a night like tonight, your in a weekly paper which wasn't soul, if you have one, should held as strictly to cool-headed crouch like a little mouse." journalistic standards as a city Tom kept a straight face. "The daily. The merchants would snick­ cosmic fishermen are out tonight, er. Well, Ivan didn't have to face I take it. I suppose I'm in season." the merchants; he was in the shop The fruitcake sighed. "Why is all day. That was Tom's problem. Charles Fort remembered now Still, that wasn't why he was only for one arch little conjecture jumpy. Could it have been too that we are being fished for? I'm much black coffee at the fruit­ not talking about disappearances. cake's apartment? Tom couldn't That isn't the meaning of the radio remember having had more than blips. It means nothing that your three cups. Besides, the feeling he particular surname is Fish. You 108 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION might even be named Ambrose, a Gilbert and Sullivan addict. My and the blips would have no more mother used to scrub me and drag meaning for you than for anyone me off to watch the D'Oyly Carte else. There are many ways of col­ company whenever they came to lecting non-Ambroses as well as Salt Lake City, but I was too Ambroses. Everyone is potentially young, I guess. They might as well in season, but not necessarily to be have been singing in German.'' caught on a cosmic hook and "What do you remember about whisked off into another dimen­ Deadeye Dick?" sion as Ambrose Bierce was." "Wasn't he the sailor everyone "I don't see what difference it hated on sight? It seems to me ev­ makes," said Tom. "If I were a ery time he opened his mouth ev­ fancy cake in a bakery shop and eryone on stage would sort of re­ the baker said to the customer, coil in revulsion. But he was real­ 'Shall I wrap it up for you to take ly a nice guy who just wanted to home?' I wouldn't be much con­ be helpful. It was like he had the soled if the customer said, 'No evil eye or something. I remember thanks; I'll eat it here.'" laughing at that because it wasn't "That's very good indeed. Fort set to music and you could get would have loved it. But it's be­ some idea of what was going on. side the point. We know, those of But it was just comedy.'' us w_ho have taken pains to corre­ "Surelv, Mr. Fish, vou don't be­ late the pertinent data, that when lieve that W. S. Gi.lbert merely the radio blips reach a peak of in­ delved into his imagination to dis­ tensity, as they have tonight, some­ cover Deadeye Dick. You should one or something from another di­ read Gilbert, ,undistorted by mension or another curve of space­ screaming sopranos and booming time is close to us, breathing down baritones. He was a Fortean be­ our necks, sorting us out, rating fore Fort. He knew there were us, branding us, picking and forces on the prowl for man, forces choosing from among us. But this that owned man in the same way does not mean that they or it must a man owns cattle and sheep and choose between only two alterna­ dogs, forces that come close to the tives: whisking us off the face of earth at times to check up on their the earth or devouring us on the flocks and herds, and single out spot. There are many choices. certain souls to be their own prize There is, for example, the Dead­ pets. You know yourself what hap­ eye Dick syndrome. You know pens when a man takes a wild ani­ Deadeye Dick, of course.'' mal away from its own kind and "It never occurred to me to take fondles it and tames it. He does him seriously," said Tom. "I'm not more than put that animal in his THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 109 own thralldom. He alienates it Only a hopelessly solemn man from the fellows. A mother rabbit would be spooked by such palaver. in the wild will destroy its own Possibly the fruitcake himself was children if they are taken up and spooked by it; he was solemn fondled and enthralled by 'men enough. But Tom was not solemn. and then set loose again. This is Besides, he had skipped judicious­ what happened to Deadeye Dick, ly through "The Book of the or the thousands of not-so-funny Damned," and he knew that while Deadcve Dicks whom Gilbert ob­ Charles Fort might have uttered servel and turned into comedy. such words with a straight face, he They had been singled out by the would have, immediately there~ force behind the radio blips; they · after, slapped his knee, guffawed, had been fondled and enthralled and belted down another beer. -and then set loose again. There If Tom had felt even a passing was an aura of evil about them thrill of fright, why would he when they moved among their own have been standing here on this people-a suggestion that they high Oregon desert, looking east­ had committed or were about to ward over the great curve of the commit some monstrous, unspeak­ Snake and the wide flat Boise able crime. A lesser observer than River basin, waiting for the sun to Fort would have looked upon them come up over the Boise Moun­ .as tragic figures, but Gilbert was tains, and thumbing his nose at not a lesser man than Fort, and he radio blips. knew that there is a point of point­ Thumbing his nose too at Me­ lessness beyond tragedy which is lanicus. absurdity-or comedy. Inciden­ The words from "The Book of tally, don't look in the newspapers the Damned" came to him as clear­ for a scientific explanation of to­ ly as though he had the printed night's radio blips. Every radio­ page in front of him, blue-greenly scope in the world has registered illumined; yet he had never taken them, but no astronomer in his the trouble to memorize them or right mind will admit the exist­ even to ponder them briefly: ence of a cosmic presence he can­ "Melanicus." not see through lenses." "That upon the wings of a su­ "Still, what's the point?'' per-bat, he broods over this earth "A rhesus monkey in a labora­ and over other worlds, perhaps de­ tory would need human wisdom riving something from them; hov­ to see that his life was absurd. He ers on wings, or wing-like append­ would need Fortean wisdom to see ages, or planes that are hundreds that there was indeed a purpose in of miles from tip to tip-a super­ his life-but not for him." evil thing that is exploiting us. By 110 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Evil I mean that which makes us land, and Tom was descending useful. into the Land of Oz, almost hys­ "He obscures a star. He shoves terical with unaccountable eu- a comet. I think he's a vast, black, phoria. . brooding vampire." When he reached the town of Tom knew suddenly that what Squampus, roughly in the center he felt was not fear but a desperate of the great flat basin, he was, at yearning to enfold or be enfolded once, out of Oz. The good people by whatever it was. Everyone of Squampus had been planting knew that Charles Fort was just trees since before the turn of the putting us on. He revelled in the Century, thanks to irrigation wa­ knowledge that all of his disciples ter, and the thick summer foliage were fruitcakes. Why then did he over every lawn completely keep coming back to the sentence: screened any possible view of "Vast black thing poised like a mountains. One might have been crow over the moon?" in Flatsville, Nebraska. Had Fort stood one starry night The manager of Penney's store on a Bronx rooftop, sensing the was out for coffee; so Tom picked blotting out of starlight and not up the ad from an assistant man­ daring to look up-for fear of see­ ager, Jerry Bagg, an affable young ing it there'--for utter dread of not man who was usually ready to re­ seeing it there? Had he too listened lay to Tom two or three good, new to radio blip·s revealing the pres­ dirty jokes picked up from travel­ ence of a huge body, undetectable ling salesmen. by telescope, in collision with the Tom looked at the ad lay-out. earth? A lousy 3 columns by 6 inches. Suddenly the rim of the sun He had counted on at least half a peeped over Shafer Butte, back of page this week. Boise, nearly 50 miles to the east, Jerry wasn't being affable today. and Tom knew he was being set "Something wrong with the ad, free to go back to town. The tops Fish?" of the hills rimming the Boise "Well, I kind of thought-" · basin sparkled with red, silver, "We aren't a charitable institu­ and gold, but the great basin itself tion, Fish. Your paper isn't pull­ was a vast lake of night as Tom ing for us." drove his car down into it. By the "That's not fair, Jerry. Appleton time he was halfway down the told me he had a good run from slope, however, the sunlight had that swimsuit ad last week." spilled into the valley, accenting "Mr. Appleton is a very gener­ the green, yellow and blue check­ ous man. Actually we. plugged erboard squares of the irrigated swimsuits on radio too. We've de- THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 111' cided to put three-fourths of our drop in at City Hall. There might usual newspaper advertising budg­ be an item or two on the police et into radio. I think we ought to blotter. put it all in radio. I believe we Chief Swenkert was a good cop. could advertise Cadillacs for ten Squampus was lucky to have him, cents apiece on the front page of and wouldn't have had him if he your paper without a single nib­ hadn't been caught up in a bribe ble. But as I said, Mr. Appleton is scandal on the Coast, where he a very generous man." had been a big city police lieu­ "What's with you Jerry? You tenant. Swenkert had admitted to have to be putting me on." Tom that he was guilty as hell. "Take it up with Mr. Appleton. Some gamblers had discovered his I told him you'd come in here with price, fifty grand, in return for your usual offensive line of talk.'' which he had developed some con­ Tom laughed. "Okay. I'll go venient blind spots relative to cer­ along with the gag. Say, Jerry, by tain wee-hours establishments. the way-did you ever hear of "That's my price for illegal Deadeye Dick? 'Pirates of Pen­ gambling and booze-and maybe zance.'" for some unorganized prostitu­ J~rry flashed Tom a look of tion," he said. "For real crime, sheer hatred. " 'H.M.S. Pinafore.' I from heist up to murder, it runs knew you were a damn fraud, Fish. all the way from 5 00 grand to a That Ivy League gentleman-and­ billion. Under 50 grand I'm I 00 scholar pose; how long did you ex­ per cent honest; so I'm safe in pect to hoax us poor Squampus Squampus, and the mayor and yokels?" council know it." "Okay, I'm a fraud. I don't Swenkert had always treated know nuttin'. Tell me about Dead­ Tom with hearty respect, which eye Dick.'' Tom had returned. The press had "Maybe you're not busy, but I clobbered the cop at the time of am." Jerry turned his back and his fall from grace on the Coast, walked away. but he still regarded newspaper­ Tom shrugged and walked out men with wry but rather amused to the street. He was only a block affection, and whenever Tom from the shop, but he couldn't came into headquarters he was in bring himself to go there yet. Ivan the habit of rising to greet him Uppmann would give him hell for with the delighted look of one bringing in a crummy 3 by 6 ad who had, until that moment, been from Penneys. As though it was starved for intelligent conversa­ his fault. He decided to go a cou­ tion. ple of blocks out of his way and He didn't rise today. When 112 FANTASY AND SCIENCE PICTION Tom walked into the office there pus citizens come around fixing to were two patrolmen standing by string this fellow up? Do we have the chief's desk, Junior Ricks and to risk our necks for him?" Pat Johnson, good jack-Mormons "Not me," said Swenkert. ''You with whom Tom had always been boys can stick around if you want on first-name terms. They said to. I've got plans for my old age." nothing to Tom; they looked first "There's no gun on him far as I at their feet and then at Swenkert, can tell," said Junior. who sat, hunched forward, with Pat came in. lips set tight and eyes glaring into "All quiet out there. Don't see Tom's. He tapped the edge of his nobody you wouldn't expect to see desk with his pencil in a sort of this time of day." dead-march rhythm. "Okay, boys," said Swenkert. "You've got a nerve coming in "Lock him up. They cleaned up here, you sonofabitch," said Swen­ that cell where the wino tossed his kert. "Frisk him, Junior." cookies last night?" 'What's the matter with every­ "Not yet, Chief." one today?" asked Tom. "Good. Furnish Mr. Fish with "Check the hall, Pat," said some rags and a bucket of water." Swenkert. "Then take a look up Swenkert turned to Tom. ''You and down the street. I can't be­ don't have to clean up, Fish, but I lieve he'd just walk in here alone." have an idea you'll want to." Tom backed away from Junior. "Wait just one doggone min­ "Don't move, Fish," said Junior. ute," Tom shouted. "What are you "See?" said Swenkert. "Now charging me with? Where's the ar­ he's showing his true colors. I told raignment?" you all along. Just give him "Shut your foul mouth," said enough rope, I said." Swenkert. "I don't have to listen "Look," said Tom. "I don't know to that kind of slimy talk." what this is all about, but I'm get­ "Wha-a-at? Look, let me call my ting the hell out of here." lawyer." "Start walking, baby," said "Get him out of my sight, boys." Swenkert, taking a 3 8 revolver "Damn it, I have rights, don't out of his desk drawer. "Save the I? I want a lawyer." taxpayers the cost of a trial." "He wants a lawyer. I want "Won't be no trial anyway," Jayne Mansfield. It's a frustrating said Junior, patting Tom's pocket. world we live in, Fish. Get him "Soon as word gets out we got him out, boys; get him out. He's cur­ locked up here, old Judge Lynch'll dling my breakfast." take over. Say, what do we do, Tom's cell was dark and vUe­ Chief, if a bunch of good Squam- smelling. The previous occupant THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 113 had done a masterful job of re­ would at least get in touch with gurgitation, and there was no Marta. She had probably started place you could go to avoid stand­ worrying before dawn-note or no ing or sitting in it. Tom was given note. If Tom wasn't heard from by rags and a bucket full of grey wa­ lunchtime, she would be ready for ter that had obviously been wrung a strait-jacket. out of a dirty mop. He could only Uppmann would be burning up stare at it, numbly bewildered. by now, but to hell with that. Upp­ Had the fruitcake hypnotized mann was a chronically angry him into doing some monstrous man anyway. If he wasn't getting thing? No. He was certain he a hard time from his weird wife at could account for all of his time home, he was getting it from the last night. Account to himself, whimsical presses at the shop, and that is. How could he prove to he had no one to unload his poison anyone else that he had spent the onto except his employees. Well, night pacing a barren Oregon pla­ let Ivan go outside the shop for a teau, listening to-yearning to­ change and take it out on the mer­ ward . . . absolutely nothing at chants who thought that by taking all? Even if he could prove it, a one-column two-inch institu­ would they be any more inclined tional ad every other month or so to let him out of his cage? they were boosting freedom of the Somehow he would have to get press in Squampus. Ivan was al­ word to Augie Rush, his lawyer ways unloading inspirational and best friend. Swenkert would treatises on Tom: "How to put have to give in on this sooner or ZING in your Salesmanship," later. He was a tough cop and "The POSITIVE Approach to Siz­ liked to show his muscle now and zling Selling." That sort of thing. again, but now that he had had his Okay; now was his chance to get bit of megalomaniac fun, he would an education, to sizzle and zing certainly have to back down and positively all over the Squampus admit that he wasn't really, after business district and watch those all, the law around here. Augie advertising budgets dwindle. would find out what the charge Some time later-somewhere was supposed to be, and maybe between ten minutes and two get a writ of habeas corpus. Mavbe hours later, for all Tom could tell, the crime he was supposed to have or care-Junior came down with committed had taken place before a wispy, bald-headed man in a midnight, in which case the fruit­ brown tropical worsted business cake could alibi him, and that suit. would be that. "We got a room-mate for you, One would think that they Fish," said Junior. "Poor guy." 114 PANTASY AND SCilNCK PICTlON Junior pushed the little man The little man turned his back into the· cell, relocked the door, on Tom, who moved as far from and walked away, ostentatiously his cellmate as space allowed, retching and holding his nose. then slumped down onto the steel ''Does stink some," said the lit· bench and buried his face in his de man. hands. ''There's a pail of water and Melanicus. Melanicus. Vast some rags, if you want to clean poised thing, black as a crow, m1er up." the moon. "Guess I can get used to the There was the sound of a gusty smeU," said the little man. "It laugh from the direction of the ain't the smell. It's the company." chiefs office, and suddenly the "What are you talking about? I cell seemed full of sunlight. Angie never saw you before in my life." Rush! They had notified him after "Never seen you for that mat­ all, and ·due process of law was ter. It was a good life." chugging and grinding along in "What are you judging me for the fine old-fashioned way. Gar­ then? What am I supposed to have gantuan Augie, guzzler and gour­ done?" mand, student of everything from "Don't you try to trick me into Xenophon to Einstein; for all his using them words. I'd choke on bulk and tendency to belch in them. Never did have no use for public, he was a true gladiator in filthy talk." a courtroom 0r police station; if he ''You're a moral paragon. What didn't alwavs take cases he be­ are you in for?" lieved in, he invariably believed ''I'm what they call a sex crimi­ in the cases he took, and nine nal." times out of ten he won them. He "At this hour of the morning?" and Tom had become friends when "That ain't what they got me Augie was county attorney and in for this time. It was poisoning political hot water. Augie's only dogs. First time they ever caught error had been corpulence; a fat me for that. You should of took it man in politics is an easier scape­ up. Would of kept your mind off goat than a Gary Cooper. Tom had all that nasty stuff." gone to bat for Augie and had "What nasty stuff? Please tell saved his reputation if not his re­ me." election. Since then the two had ''You shut your dirty mouth. been fellow-trenchermen, fellow You keep away from me too. One philosophers, and occasionally, in step and I'll holler. I ain't gonna subtle matters of town or county look at you if I can help it, but politics, fellow-conspirators. I'll hear you if you take a step." Tom stood up. Augie ap- THE D:EADEYE DICK SYNDROME 115 proached the barred door of his "I've got to have a lawyer. I'm cell, chuckling at something Jun­ entitled to one, aren't I?" ior was telling him. "Not this lawyer. Oh, I suppose "Thanks for coming, Augie," they'll furnish you with a public said Tom. "Maybe now we can defender . . . if they can dig up make some sense out of this mess." someone who has no reputation to The smile disappeared from lose. In my opinion that sort of Augie's face. thing is just a nuisance. The sim­ "Listen, Fish, and listen care­ ple solution in your case would be fully," he said. ''I'm going to make a lynch mob. I'll suggest that to this quick, because I don't want to Swenkert." spend any more time in your pres­ "Boy, you guys are going to be ence than I actually have to. I'm sorry when this thing is cleared up representing Marta. She doesn't -whatever the hell it is." want to see you again or even hear "Shut up, Fish. You have noth­ your name if she can possibly ing to say to me." avoid it. Don't under any circum­ Just then Augie caught sight of stances try to communicate with the little bald man in the tropical her or with the children." worsted suit. "But Augie, this is crazy. What "Why it's Mr. Dilley," he said. am I charged with?" "What are you in for? Impairing "You have a mouth like a cess­ the morals of a minor child pool, Fish. I came here to deliver again?" a message, not to be subjected to "Not this time, Mr. Rush. I got your verbal spatterings. I trust you caught poisoning dogs." got my message straight." "Good for you. Why don't you "Does Marta want a divorce?" operate in my neighborhood. Sev­ "That would be a mere legal eral of my neighbors have dogs in technicality, Fish. The gallows is need of poisoning." as effective as a divorce court, and "You're a sketch, Mr. Rush." a widow stands higher in small "I couldn't be more serious, Mr. town society than a divorcee. Of Dilley. However, I don't think course you have muddied Marta's that would be quite the tack to name somewhat but time will take in court. Do you have legal wash that away." representation? I'll be happy to "Augie . . . Augie. This is­ take your case." this is the goddamndest injustice "I don't have no money, Mr. I ever heard of. I haven't done a Rush." thing. I swear." "Money? Don't be crass, Mr. "Swear away, Fish. You're good Dilley. I charge a fee only when at that." legal drudgery is involved." 116 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "Why, gee. Sure. Thanks a mil­ "I see your point." lion, Mr. Rush." Augie and Mr. Dilley went "I have to go to my office now. away without saying a word to I'll be back in an hour or so with Tom. a writ of habeas corpus." It was beginning to get dark "Wait a minute, Augie," said when the fruitcake came, accom­ Tom. "Just tell me one thing be­ panied by Chief Swenkert. fore you go." "Hi, fruitcake," said Tom, dis­ "Make it short, Fish." mally. "Do I remind you of Deadeye "You let him call you that?" Dick in 'H.M.S. Pinafore'?" asked Swenkert. "A flip sonofabitch, aren't you?" "Ordinarily it delights me," said said Augie. He turned his back the fruitcake. "All of the disciples and walked away. of Charles Fort were called fruit­ The day dragged on. Lunch cakes . . . by Fort himself. I am consisted of some kind of grey one of those disciples, and I ac­ hash. Tom saw a cigarette butt in cept the appellation not only with Mr. Dilley's hash. Poking through delight, but with some humility. his own, he found no butt, but Ordinarily, that is. At the moment two burnt paper matches. He it sounds singularly offensive." pushed his plate aside. Mr. Dil­ "If you want to go in there and ley, however, cleaned his plate · belt him one, professor, I'll hold with gusto, cigarette butt and all. him for you." Right after lunch, Augie reap­ "I happen to be privy to certain peared with a writ of habeas cor­ knowledge that you don't possess, pus for Mr. Dilley. Chief," said the fruitcake. "That is "You mean I can run loose?" why it surprises me that I should asked the little man. find your offer tempting. Never­ "You've got to come to police theless, with what I do know, I court Monday night. Keep in mustn't even entertain the idea of touch with me; you're more or less belting him one. May I be left in my custody. And, Mr. Dilley." alone with the prisoner for a mo­ "Yeah?" ment or two?" "Watch it on the dog poisoning' "Okay. Don't get too close to the between now and Monday night." bars. He might reach out and grab "That's all right. I had some you. He's a mean one." poison out this morning, but I "All right, Mr. Fish," said the sent my kid to bring it all in the fruitcake, after the Chief had house when the cops came for me. gone. "You'll have to turn your It ain't no fun if you can't be there back. I knew, when I heard that to watch the dog." you were in jail, that I would find THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 117 it difficult not to loathe you. I Tom wrote: "I never did. I didn't know that I would find it thought you did." next to impossible. However, it "Charles Fort," the fruitcake may help if I don't have to look at said, "was not a propounder of your face." truths; he was an architect of the "How did you find out I was preposterous. We will never know here?" how many of his outlandish hy­ "I made inquiries. I was wor­ potheses he really believed in. I ried about you, strange as it seems suspect very few; perhaps none. to me right now, when you left my He was a tease. He collected place. You seemed on edge, and I roomsfull of data on recorded suspected you were not g~ing to phenomena that the formal ration­ take my advice and go straight to alists preferred to put out of their bed. Not that I had any feeling of minds as quickly as possible, and responsibility, you understand. On he threw it in their faces, shout­ your head be it." ing: 'These things are absurd, im­ "On my head be what?" possible, but they happened. Ex­ "I think, if you have anything plain them away. Explain them in to say, you had better write it your own pedestrian logical terms, down. Your voice makes my flesh and you can only arrive at prepos­ creep. Will you write down, brief­ terous hypotheses. Melanicus. Ge­ ly, where you went last night and latinous heavens.' " what happened to you." Tom wrote: "Why are you a Tom wrote: Fortean then?" "I had the jitters so I drove to a "In the data he compiled, Fort high place over on the Oregon side saw hints pointing to new paths to sit and think. I didn't do any­ down which scientific inquiry thing but watch the stars. This must travel. Fort himself was too sounds nutty, but I had a feeling impatient, or perhaps too unlucky Melanicus was right over me and to go down those paths himself. sort of calling to me, and the queer That was why he indulged in his thing is, I wanted to go to it. But whimsical leaps of the imagina­ of course I couldn't. I came tion into utter absurdity. I take straight back to town at sunrise the hints he bequeathed us and go and walked into this mess. I swear on from there to seek out those to God I didn't do anything. They paths. I make no jumps. I am pa­ won't even tell me why they are tient. When I am sure my feet are holding me." on the path, I plod along, step by "They won't because they can't. step. I'm in luck today. Fort was Only-dear me; Melanicus. Do never actually caught out in one you take that stuff seriously?" of his showers of frogs or gouts of lUl FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION bleeding flesh, but I am here stand­ night I will learn why, but I ing in the presence of a fished soul doubt it. I have never given up -a celestial rhesus monkey." seeking reasons, but it is a poor "This is fascinating for you," habit, and by now I should have Tom wrote, "but not for me. I broken myself of it. There are rea­ never was an anti-vivisectionist sons, but it is not in the nature of before, but that's only because I the human intellect to find them, was never IT." or to make sense of them." "Your petulant attitude disgusts "What is this thing you are go­ me. As a matter of fact the back ing to do for me?" of your head disgusts me. No, no. "Actually, Mr. Fish, you'll have Don't turn around. The front of to do it for yourself, under my your head enrages me. Listen to tutelage. Let's go back to the fish me, Mr. Fish: I'm going to try to analogy. 'We are being fished for.' get you out of your predicament. It's not my favorite Fortean hy­ Not for your sake, you understand. pothesis, but it will do. Suppose a That would be unthinkable under fish learned the trick of shrinking the present circumstances. We himself to a size smaller than the Forteans, like the ancient Greek legal limit. Would that not be a scientists, are interested in paths happy fish?" of knowledge, not in practical ap· "An honest fisherman would plications. If my plan for your throw him back." Tom underlined salvation works, you will shed the word "honest." your appalling aura of disagree­ "We will have to assume that ableness; I will again be able to our hypothetical fisherman is hon­ regard you as an endurable, and est, or, if not honest in our sense even a rather likeable young man, of the word, sincerely disinterest· and I will perhaps then congratu· ed in small fish. I have data which late myself on having performed a leads me to believe that this fisher­ charitable act. Today, however, tlie man-Melanicus if you will­ only thing that impels me to close throws back fish that are small­ my ears to the indignant shrieks or otherwise disappointing. I won't of my nature, and perform an act bore you with it. That was Fort's in behalf of an utter swine, is the major defect. He could be an belief that this act will move my Olympian bore.'' mind farther along a particular "The question is," wrote Tom, path of knowledge." "How am I to make myself into a Tom wrote: "Why won't you smaller fish. I imagine I am a pret­ tell me why I'm an utter swine?" ty small fish to begin with. What "For the same reason that no in the devil did they or it want one else will tell you. Perhaps to- with me?" THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 119 "They or it will never say. Ours Tom wrote, "Isn't this pretty not to reason why. There is about risky for you or for the cops. Sup­ you, or was yesterday, a certain pose I am thrown back. Won't air of sincerity, of earnest curios­ they or it be on the lookout for· ity. Other cases come to mind. other fish." Ambrose Bierce, for example. But "I'm not afraid for myself. I am never mind. Take my word for it. devoid of hubris. Chief Swenkert, There is a dimly discernible pat­ I think, has no soul. The patrol­ tern in these things. What I want men will be too busy keeping their you to do is become a pompous high-powered rifles aimed at you fraud. You are to return to that to entertain any feelings of exalta- desert plateau in Oregon and tion." · speak tedious platitudes. Speak The fruitcake went up to tell them proudly. Believe them. Force Swenkert that Tom was ready to yourself to believe them. Be posi­ go through with the re-enactment. tive. Obnoxiously positive. Be so While he was gone, Tom combed smug in your conviction of self­ through his memory for fatuous importance that your soul will pomposities that he could deliver shrivel and crouch like a tiny with a convincing swagger. Per­ mouse. Remember, I told you last haps a few choice passages from night that your soul should crouch. "How to put ZING in Your Sales­ It may not be too late." manship," or "The POSITIVE "How am I to get to Oregon?" Approach to Sizzling Selling." "It's all arranged. I told Chief POSITIVE. That was the tack. Swenkert that I would persuade He would give them or it one of you to go to the scene of your crime Uppmann's editorials. Don't be a and re-enact it. You see, he is puz­ knocker; be a booster. Let's take zled. He doesn't know what to book the. word "negative" out of the dic­ you for. He has agreed, if you will tionary. Think positive. Don't tear do this, to let you drive there in down; be constructive. your own car, accompanied by me "I always wanted to debate that and an armed patrolman. He will with Uppmann," he told the fruit­ follow in the police car. When we cake, as he drove westward over are about 50 yards from your des­ the Boise valley, uneasily con­ tination, Swenkert will find a scious of Junior, who sat directly place to conceal the police car, behind him, holding a cocked and the patrolman and I will dismount loaded revolver inches from the from your car and go to join Swen­ base of his skull. "This positive kert, and you will proceed alone and constructive malarkey. The to the same place where you greatest documents in history were parked your car last night." mainly negative. Take the Ten 120 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Commandments or the Magna Ka-pow! He heard the hum and Charta or the Bill of Rights. And felt the wind of the bullet passing the great men of history were de­ his face. stroyers. Social structures grow up Swenkert shouted, "I missed spontaneously around people and you on purpose, Fish. I've got a wall them in, and then these good rifle here, and I could put a heroes come along and tear them hole right through your left eye if down or open up holes in them so I wanted to. That was just a re­ people can go free. You don't con­ minder of what will happen if you struct to get freedom. You tear get funny." down." "I told the chief to fire that "Remember I'm a family man," shot," shouted the fruitcake. said Junior, "and I've got a gun. I Good fruitcake. Just in the nick don't have to listen to talk like of time. He felt an easing of the that." pull as his soul began to shrivel. "Nor I," said the fruitcake. "I'm here to tell you right now," "Fish, you're a fool. It won't suffice he shouted, "what this country merely to talk positively when you needs is doers; not a bunch of saps stand out there among the radio who go out on the desert to moon blips and chanting stars. You will at the stars. What kind of progress be lured all over again, if you per­ you think we'd have around here if sist in this nonsense of indulging it weren't for go-getters who think your own opinions. Think posi­ positive. What does negative tively. Begin at once. Keep it up. mean? It means a shrinking violet All the way. Positive, positive, attitude. It means cowardice in positive. Be an obnoxious clod. the face of the Challenge of the Fu­ Make Melanicus retch." ture. Let's get rid of negative When he stepped out of the car thinking. Let's get rid of the at last, seemingly alone with stars knockers. Let's aU pull together and sagebrush, the cosmic tingle CONSTRUCTIVELY and make came over him again. Squampus maybe not the biggest, "Vast black thing poised like a but, by God, the doingest little crow over the moon." town in the Boise Vailey, if not He had made the effort. Posi­ in the whole United States of tive, positive, positive, but right America." now the pull of yearning overpow­ The music of the stars had be­ ered him. He would fool them all: come plaintive. Tom sensed an un­ the fruitcake, Swenkert, everyone. dertone of retching. He shook his He would offer himself. fist upward. Melanicus! Heart's lodestone! "You up there. I'm telling you. He spread his arms upward. Latch onto me and I promise you THE DEADEYE DICK SYNDROME 121 you're getting a number one go­ Jerry had ·never bought anyone getter, a guy who gets things done[ a beer in his life. A guy who says yes to life." Uppmann was almost jovial at There was a whimper in the the sight of the ad. heavens, then a faint tinkling "Better call your wife," he said crash, like the sound of a Christ­ pleasantly. "She's called here twice mas tree ornament breaking. this morning." Then silence. "Oh, darling," said Marta on The fruitcake called, "We're all the phone. "I was positively fran­ going back in the police car, Mr. tic with worry. But you're all right, Fish. Drop by for a little chat one aren't you? Darling, darling; come of these days." home as soon as you can. Oh, by "Stop by my office in the morn­ the way, Betty Rush called. She ing, Tom," said Swenkert. "I've and Augie want us to come over got some items for your paper." for a few drinks tonight." "See you, Tommy," called Jun­ So yesterday had never hap­ ior, getting into the police car. pened. But people were so effusive. The sun was shining hot and And . . . guilty? bright when he got to Penney's in "Marta, do you happen to re­ the morning. Jerry Bagg handed member a character named Dead­ him the ad lay-out. A lousy 3 by 6. eye Dick in Gilbert and Sullivan's "Something wrong with the ad, 'H.M.S. Pinafore?'" Tom?" "I haven't read that one, dar­ "I was sort of counting on a ling. I'm going to the library this half-page this week." afternoon. Would you like me to "Oh, wait," said Jerry. "I gave pick it up for you? Darling?" you the wrong lay-out. That's for "Please do. I remember him the Farm Journal. Here's the one slightly from my childhood, but it for your paper. Mr. Appleton came on me all of a sudden last thought we'd go to full-page. You night that I never really knew him. got the room?" That's part of the reason I couldn't "Always," said Tom. sleep. I don't care if it does sound "Say, Tom, I heard a nifty the odd." other day. Got time?" After hanging up the telephone, "Not right now, Jerry. I'll see Tom Fish walked whistling down you later." the street to pick up a couple of "Drop in to the Stockman after news items from his good and esti­ work, Tom. I'll buy you a beer." mable friend, Chief Swenkert...... Those who say, with more vigor than originality, that if they want a message they can call Western Union, may ob;ect to this story of Mr. Tompkins, Mrs. Tompkins, and the rowk bird. Classical scholars may murmur or mutter something about panem et cir­ censes. And those who wish nothing more than to en;oy something short and which may pass for light can dig right in and dig this, too. Maybe multi-levelled is the word we are groping for. Tweet­ tweet!

DIALOGUE IN A TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY DINING ROOM

by Robert F. Young

ORDINARILY, CONVERSATION IN dent himself said just the other the Tompkins apartmenage went day that if it wasn't for people like something like this: us faithfu1ly going about our daily MR. TOMPKINS: In the cafe­ tasks and keeping our noses clean, teria this noon I heard over Teevy the world would come apart at the that they've taken another one of seams! those radical malcontents into MRS. TOMPKINS: And he's custody. right, too. People like us are the MRS. TOMPKINS: They have? salt of the earth, and if you ask me What was this one doing? I think those malcontents are jeal­ MR. TOMPKINS: The same ous of us. What should I dial for thing as the others-going around supper-baked ham or roast beef? saying mean things about ordinary MR. TOMPKINS: If it wasn't for people like us. This one said we've ordinary people like us keeping become 'a government-subsidized the boat steady, people like them juggernaut of destruction bent on would have overturned it long ago, wiping every last vestige of truth and then where would everybody and beauty from the face of the be? ... Isn't there anything else earth'. Can you imagine anyone on the menu besides baked ham having the nerve to make such a and roast beef? sarcastic remark? Why, the presi- MRS. TOMPKINS: What's the 122 DIALOGUE IN A TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY DINING ROOM 123 matter with you, Arthur? You es . . . Isn't there anything else know today's Thursday and that on on the menu besides baked beans Thursday all apart-o-matic devel­ and chop suey? opments ever serve is baked ham MRS. TOMPKINS: What's the and roast beef. matter with you, Arthur? You MR. TOMPKINS: That's right­ know today's Monday and that on ! forgot. Roast beef then, I guess. Monday all apart-o-matic develop­ MRS. TOMPKINS: Baked or ments ever serve is baked beans mashed potatoes? and chop suey. MR. TOMPKINS: Mashed. MR. TOMPKINS: That's right- While you're up, turn Teevy on, 1 forgot. Baked beans then, I guess. will you? Think we should buy one of them? I could stop in after work tomor­ On the evening before the arrival row afternoon. of the Bartlett Bird, conversation MRS. TOMPKINS: Sure, why in the Tompkins apartmenage not-as long as they're on sale. It went like this: will give me somebody to talk to MR. TOMPKINS: I see by the during the day while you're at paper that Grimbel's have got a work. Should I dial the beans with big sale on Martian rowks. Seems salt pork or with bacon? they bought up a whole shipment MR. TOMPKINS: Salt pork. of them so they could sell them at While you're up, turn Teevy on, half price. will you? MRS. TOMPKINS: What's a rowk? MR. TOMPKINS: How come MR. TOMPKINS: You mean to there's only one rowk left? The tell me you don't know what a paper said you bought a whole rowkis? shipment. MRS. TOMPKINS: Sounds like THE BIRD CLERK: Certainly some kind of crazy bird to me. we bought a whole shipment. You What should I dial for supper­ don't think Grimbel's would lie, do baked beans or chop suey? you?" MR. TOMPKINS: It's a talking MR. TOMPKINS: Then how bird, not a brazy bird. Something come there's only one left? like a parrot, only smaller and a THE BIRD CLERK: What did thousand times smarter-never you expect? The paper said 'sale', forgets anything it hears. They didn't it? Why, with all the peo­ have purple feathers and their ple coming in here today and buy­ breasts are covered with pink ing rowks like crazy, you're lucky polka dots, and they sleep hang­ there is one left. ing upside down from their perch- MR. TOMPKINS (pointing to 124 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION the feathered occupant of a lone THE BIRD CLERK: There, you cage standing on the counter) : If see? It doesn't repeat things the you had so many people buying way it's supposed to-it comes them, how come nobody . bought back with something original. that one? MR. TOMPKINS: Gimmee a kiss, THE BIRD CLERK: Because we pretty boy. of Grimbel's, being honest people, THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Jenny couldn't in all honesty put that kissed me when we met, Jumping particular one up for sale till all from the chair she sat in!' the others were gone. It was over­ MR. TOMPKINS (gaping): exposed-probably by one of the Who's Jenny? members of the crew of the Mars­ THE BIRD CLERK: Search me. Earth freighter that brought the Look, just before you came in, the shipment in, to some book-tapes. floor manager gave me the author­ Mr. Grum, our book-tape depart­ ity to knock off twenty percent on ment consultant, wasn't able to this one, so if you want it you can identify the tapes positively, but have it for four fifths of th~ regular he is of the opinion that one of price-plus the price of the cage, them must have been Bartlett's of course. Familiar Quotations. MR. TOMPKINS (dubiously): I MR. TOMPKINS (wisely): I'm don'tknow ... familiar with that one. It's about THE BIRD CLERK: Twenty-five pears, isn't it? percent off. THE BIRD CLERK: Not accord­ MR. TOMPKINS: Well . . . ing to Mr. Grum. According to THE BIRD CLERK: Fifty per­ him, it's a collection of old poems cent, and that's as low as I can go. and sayings. You've heard of 'walk­ MR. TOMPKINS: You've made a ing encyclopoedias', haven't you? sale. Well this rowk here is a sort of THE BIRD CLERK: And you, 'flying encyclopoedia', if you know sir, have made a bargain. what I mean, only instead of being THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'But in filled with useful facts and fig­ the way of bargain, mark ye me, ures, it's filled with a lot of im­ I'll cavil on the ninth part of a practical words and phrases. Say hair!' something to it, and you'll see what I mean. On the evening of the Bartlett MR. TOMPKINS (facing the. Bird's arrival, conversation in the cage) : Pretty boy. Tompkins apartmenage went like THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Bless­ this: ings on thee, little man, Barefoot MRS. TOMPKINS: I see you got boy with cheeks of tan!' one. Did it say anything yet? DIALOGUE IN A TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY DINING ROOM 125 MR. TOMPKINS (closing the were not, Arthur! They haven't door and setting the cage on a been on the menu for a whole nearby table): It's said plenty, week. The way you talk, sometimes but none of it amounted to very I think you're getting to be one of much. It's a Bartlett bird. those radical malcontents who MRS. TOMPKINS: A Bartlett think our civilization isn't good bird! I thought you were going to enough for them! get a rowk. MR. TOMPKINS (hastily): Pork MR. TOMPKINS (removing his chops. coat and sitting down beside her MRS. TOMPKINS: Wheat bread on the viewing couch): It is a or white? rowk. But it got overexposed to a MR. TOMPKINS: White. bunch of book-tapes, and every THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Bread time you say something to it, it and circuses! Bread and circuses!' comes back with part of a poem MR. TOMPKINS: Little bird, or a saying. it's high time somebody brought MRS. TOMPKINS: Well all I you up to date. got to say is, they saw you coming. THE BARTLETT BIRD (hop­ MR. TOMPKINS: But I saw ping up and down on its perch): them first. I got it for a song. Epigonif Epigonif MRS. TOMPKINS: But what MRS. TOMPKINS: Now it's call­ good is it if you can't teach it to ing us pigs. talk? MR. TOMPKINS: It said .~pi­ MR. TOMPKINS: Oh, I'll teach goni', not 'pigs'. it to talk all right. Just give me MRS. TOMPKINS: 'Epigoni'? time. What's that? MRS. TOMPKINS: Imagine, a MR. TOMPKINS: I don't know bird trying to be different from -it's Greek to me. other birds. Just who does it think MRS. TOMPKINS (sniffing): it is! What should I dial for sup­ Some bird! Can't even speak plain per-pork chops or liver? English. MR. TOMPKINS: It's not really MR. TOMPKINS: Just you wait trying to be different. It just got till after supper-l'll teach it overexposed, like I said. some good old plain English! MRS. TOMPKINS: It's the same MRS. TOMPKINS (getting up difference. and going over to the diaZ-o­ MR. TOMPKINS: How come meal): You'd better! pork chops and liver again? Seems Later: to me they were on the menu just MR. TOMPKINS (setting his the other day. empty plate on the serue-o-matic MRS. TOMPKINS: Oh, they supper table and facing the Bart- 126 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION lett Bird's cage): And now, little get our money's worth out of it if bird, it's time for your first lesson. it takes all year! THE BARTLETT BIRD: '"The THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'So time has come," the Walrus said, various, so beautiful, so new-' "to talk of many things-"' MR. TOMPKI~S: But how? MRS. TOMPKINS (re-activating THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Hath the serve-o-matic supper table and really neither joy, nor love, nor sending it rolling back into the light-' serve-o-lift whence it had come): MRS. TOMPKINS: I'll think of Haha. something. MR. TOMPKINS: Shut up! (To THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Nor the Bartlett Bird): If you know certitude, nor peace, nor help for what's good for your own welfare, pain-' little bird, you'll straighten up in MRS. TOMPKINS: Meanwhile, a hurry, and start flying right! why don't you cover its cage and THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'It is I'll tum on Teevy. strange to see with what feverish THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'And ardor the Americans pursue their we are here as on a darkling plain own welfare, and to watch the ' vague dread that constantly tor­ MR. TOMPKINS (unfolding the ments them lest they should not cover) : Good idea. have chosen the shortest path THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Swept which may lead to it.' with confused alarms of struggle MR. TOMPKINS: Now see here! and flight-' THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'The MRS. TOMPKINS (pausing half­ sea of faith Was once, too, at the way to the television set): Teevy! full, and round earth's shore Lay Why, that's it, Arthur-that's it! like the folds of a bright girdle THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Where furl'd . . .' ignorant armies clash by night!' MRS. TOMPKINS (laughing): MR. TOMPKINS (covering the Who's teaching who? cage): What's it? THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Ah, MRS. TOMPKINS: Don't you love, let us be true To One an­ see? If it got the way it is from other, for the world, which being overexposed to book-tapes, seems-' maybe it can be cured by being MR. TOMPKINS: I'll show it! overexposed to Teevy. Every night I'll wring its confounded neck! before we go to bed we can set the THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'To lie cage in front of the speaker and before us like a land of dreams-' tum on one of those all-night pro­ MRS. TOMPKINS: You'll do grams. Or we can use the radio, nothing of the sort. We're going to for that matter. DIALOGUE IN A TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY DINING ROOM 127 MR. TOMPKINS: H'm'm. ing rapidly): Jenny chuk­ MRS. TOMPKINS: Well it's cer­ chuk . . . 'Try lipsnack, the pro­ tainly worth trying, isn't it? After tein-packed lipstick. Gives you all, you can't take the bird back, pep while you pet-The most en­ and it's no good the way it is. ergized kiss-snack yet!' MR. TOMPKINS (with sudden MRS. TOMPKINS: See? decision): All right, we'll do it! THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'The sea of ... of .. .' On the morning after the Bartlett MR. TOMPKINS: I'll tell you Bird's arrival, conversation in the what. Turn up the volume and Tompkins apartmenage went like keep it before the Teevy all day. this: By tonight, it ought to be cured. MRS. TOMPKINS: What should MRS. TOMPKINS: We'll get our I dial for breakfast? Eggs or ce­ money's worth out of it yet! Just real? leave the whole thing to me. MR. TOMPKINS: Cereal. MR. TOMPKINS: Hurry up with MRS. TOMPKINS: I wonder if breakfast, or I'll be late for work. the treatment did any good. MRS. TOMPKINS (dialing): MR. TOMPKINS (going over to Do you want toast with your cereal the cage, uncovering it, and peer­ or rolls? ing inside): Pretty boy. MR. TOMPKINS: Rolls. THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Bless­ ings on thee' . . . 'Blessings on On the evening after the Bartlett thee' ... Bird's arrival, conversation in the MRS. TOMPKINS: See?-it's Tompkins apartmenage went like starting to forget! this: MR. TOMPKINS: Gimmee a kiss, MR. TOMPKINS (closing the pretty boy. door and taking off his coat): THE BARTLETT BIRD (blink- Well, how did it work?

IT'S CORRECT TO CUP/ Filling in the coupon on the next page offers the following advantages: 1. Guaranteed monthly delivery to your door of the best in science fic­ tion and fantasy reading. 2.. Reduced rate-it's cheaper to subscrihe than to buy your copies at the newsstand. 3. An essentially unmarred copy of this issue-the coupon is backed up with this box, and its removal does not affect the text of the surrounding material. 128 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION MRS. TOMPKINS: Fine. The in! Would you like to go back to the poor thing's still a little mixed up, dark ages when ordinary people but it won't be long before it's like us had to shift for themselves back to normal. I've been teaching and didn't have government-sulJ. it the wolf whistle, and it's almost sidized jobs to work at and gov­ got it down pat. ernment-subsidized apart-o-matic MR. TOMPKINS (going uver to developments to live and eat in? the cage and peering inside) : When 'welfare' was a dirty word? Pretty boy. Would you, Arthur? Would you? THE BARTLETT BIRD: 'Bless­ MR. TOMPKINS (guiltily): Of ings on thee' . . . 'Blessings on course not. Spaghetti and meat thee' ... Pretty boy! Pretty boyl balls, I guess . . . Did you keep Pretty boy! the rowk exposed to Teevy all day MRS. TOMPKINS: Quite an im­ like I told you to? provement, wouldn't you say? MRS. TOMKINS: Every min· MR. TOMPKINS (sitting down ute. It just goes to show you that beside her on the viewing couch): you've got to use your head, does­ Well I guess so! n't it? Why, we almost got stuck MRS. TOMPKINS: What should with something worthless, and I dial for supper-sauerkraut and just by applying a little common frankfurters or spaghetti and meat sense we turned it into something balls? worthwhile. Do you want white MR. TOMPKINS: Seems to me­ or rye? MRS. TOMPKINS: We didn't MR. TOMPKINS: Rye. have either one for a whole week! THE BARTLETT BIRD (blink­ Honestly, Arthur, sometimes you ing furiously) : Bread and . , • act as though you don't appreciate bread and . tweet-tweet/ this wonderful world we're living Tweet-tweet/ ------Mercury Press, Inc., 347 East 53 Street, New York, N.Y. 10022 F-2 Send me The Magazine of FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. I enclose 0 $5.00 for one year 0 $9.00 for two years. 0 $12.50 for three years

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