$3 Just Leave Us Alone ‘Cuz This Boy’s Bad News $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com March 8th, 2009 [email protected] DRINKIN’ LIFE FROM A FOUNTAIN... Well, wasn’t everything the Hawks filled by Seabrook or Keith. When the PP was than Pahlsson did that spring, and we’ll need are on display yesterday? There was some of really humming early in the year, they were it again. Ask the Sedins how they’ll enjoy the good (heart, what can be a lethal power the blue-liners on the second unit anyway. another playoff matchup with Pahlsson. We play, enough speed and skill to trouble any- As for Kontiola, you know we think he should bet there are tears involved. To boot, the one). However, what was more on display have gotten a much bigger chance here, but Hawks need help in the circle and on the PK, on Causeway St. yesterday were the warts he clearly was never going to, so the Hawks and Pahlsson fills both of those bills. Get well that scare us all come April. Those would be gave up a player they weren’t going to use soon, Sami; you’ve got a lot of fans to win Huet’s tendency to let in a soft , and Brian and would leave anyway. Time will tell how over, but we think you will. Campbell’s and Matt Walker’s tendency to play shrewd that was. Coming Down The Mountain defense as if being swarmed by bees. To what they got: When you look at Why have we been able to spend so That’s being a little hard on Walker, our Sabermetrics page, make sure you look at much time on the front page not talking about who for the most part has been a solid sol- Pahlsson’s quality of competition and team- today’s opponent? Because the Colorado dier. But when his partner is reenacting the mates. You’ll see he drew the tought opposi- Avalanche absolutely blow, and there aren’t Confederate’s part of the Battle of Appomat- tion, while playing with the biggest collection too many ways to say that. Yes, they’ve been tox, Walker doesn’t have the speed, poise, or of dogshit the Ducks had. We thought he hit by injuries. Their top two centers, Paul vision to bail him out. Keith and Seabrook was overrated as a checking center, until we Stastny and Joe Sakic, have missed significant can’t play the whole game, and every team in saw those. So his numbers should be judged time. But this team was thin on scoring to the playoffs will have at least two lines that through that prism. However, we’re still not begin with, and so it’s proved. Their blue line can hurt you. Is Barker going to have to take sure what his exact role at even-strength will looked slow, overpaid, and old at the begin- the minutes oo a second pairing, leaving our be. The D-Ladd Soul Line has been drawing ning of the year, and they’ve been all those $7 miilion Irish Dancer to play the minutes of the checking assignments, and only playing things. Granato seemed a strange hiring when a 5th d-man? Ick. some of the best hockey in the league while he’d flopped before, and he hasn’t done any- As for Huet, yesterday was his doing so. If they’re asked to concentrate on thing to dissuade us from that opinion. Most perfect outing. Some big saves, mostly solid, scoring, can you form a checking line out of of all, trying to solve your goalie problem and yet one clunker that kills momentum. His Pahlsson and a mish-mash of wingers like with Andrew Raycroft and Peter Budaj is akin last three outings have all contained at least Versteeg, Buff, and Brouwer? Not sure, seems to removing the snow from your stairs with a one of those. It cost the Hawks 3 points (1 unlikely. But Pahlsson doesn’t provide enough lighter and a can of bug-spray. In theory it vs. the Pens, arguably 2 against Boston), and offense to be anything else. We’ll find out could work, but you’re much more likely to Havlat bailed him out against Anaheim on when he gets healthy. end up with burns on your face. The Avs have Tuesday. Those kind of weak goals can kill Overall, though, if he does anything done the latter. After a subpar effort yester- you in a series. Does anyone trush him for a in April that resembles April and May of 2007, day, we see the Hawks coming out with some run in April? Can Khabby’s groin hold up on then the Hawks win this deal. Only Magua vinegar, which should be more than enough to a playoff schedule? Stay tuned, loyal watcher, from Last of The Mohicans ate more hearts see off the West’s worst team. -Trent Reznor same bat-time, same bat-place. The Hawks Have A Pahlsse Of course, we have thoughts on the Hawks’ deadline deal. First, on what we gave up, WizP: Chicago sports fans have a prob- lem separating the idea of a player from the reality of one (Aaron Rowand, Ryan The- riot, and Kyle Orton all come to mind). The perception of Wisniewski is a lovely one. A Pantera-soundtracked hellspawn of a player who runs forwards through the boards, has a booming , will fight anyone, and can join the rush, before leaving the arena to pound beers and carry two girls over his shoulders out the bar. The reality of Wiz is that he’s a smallish d-man with multiple knee operations, who’s lost all of his jam this season. Can you remember one big hit? He’s been a Chinese Fire Drill in his own end at times. Addition- ally, he does have a big shot, but it takes forever for him to release it, and is porn-star splatter accurate, due to opponents being able to close on him during his extended wind-up. Wiz was no more than the #5 defenseman on this team, and his spot on the PP will be easily “Oh c’mon! He drank way more than I did!”

FROM THE EDITOR

As we mentioned on the cover page, the reaction to James cause he’s small and determined, instead of seeing a shortstop who Wisniewski’s trade illustrated an odd phenomenon amongst the Chi- has no range and can’t get an extra-base hit if his sister’s innocence cago sports fans. That is the tendency to fall in love with what fans depended on it. Kyle Orton now seems to have all Bears fans’ think a player is, instead of seeing what he is in reality. There are so hearts, even though on evidence he may be only marginally better many names to think of. than Rex Grossman, if that. But hey, he’s got a manly beard and The first I remember was Bears wide receiver Tom Waddle. likes to drink a bathtub of Jack Daniels, so he must be good. Who Yes, Waddle was tougher than a coffin nail. But cares that he can’t throw the ball more than 15 yards accurately? he was also slow and small, and the fact that Bulls fans have always overvalued their players. he was the leading Bears receiver just lets you Remember, this is a group of people who didn’t know how incredibly crappy their passing game want to trade for Kobe Bryant because it meant was at the time (it never got too much better in giving up Luol Deng. How’s that look now? the years since, except for that goofy year with On the flip side, there seem to be some Jeff Graham and Curtis Conway catching passes things that the Chicago sports fans will just from Erik Kramer). But Bears fans loved him never accept. Hawks fans struggle to come to because they thought he was scrappy, played terms with an offensive defenseman, Cubs fans with all heart, and quite possibly because he was can’t wrap their head around defense, Bears fans white. We saw this on a much smaller scale with won’t accept what a wide receiver looks like, the glimpse of Brock Forsey a few years ago, Sam Fels or a genuine quarterback. Sox fans love to yell even though he ran about as fast a drunken sloth. from the rooftops about how their team is full We’ve all heard White Sox fans blather of grinders and win through willpower, when in on about Aaron Rowand, because he made fact they just bash the ball out of the park (it’s numerous diving catches and would try and eat an outfield wall for been that way for years). Part of the problem is that we in Chicago dinner. Well, he only had to do that because his jumps on balls off haven’t ever been exposed to these things. Name the last great QB the bat were, and are, so God-awful. Cubs fans wax poetic about the Bears had? Who scored tons of points from the blue line for Ryan Theriot (I was guilty of this. I even own a Theriot jersey) be- the Hawks? But still, I wish that Chicago sports fans could see the big picture. NHL STANDINGS *late game not included

Eastern Conference Western Conference

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 Boston 43 14 9 95 223 151 22-6-5 21-8-4 1 San Jose* 42 11 10 94 209 156 26-3-4 16-8-6 2 New Jersey 42 20 3 87 202 162 22-10-1 20-10-2 2 Assbutts 43 15 8 94 244 197 24-5-3 19-10-5 3 Washington 40 21 5 85 216 195 25-9-1 15-12-4 3 Calgary 39 20 6 84 213 193 22-8-4 17-12-2 4 Philadelphia 35 19 10 80 207 186 19-9-4 16-10-6 4 HAWKS 36 18 9 81 211 162 17-5-6 19-13-3 5 Florida 34 24 8 76 187 185 18-9-5 16-15-3 5 Vancouver* 33 22 8 74 190 177 17-11-4 16-11-4 6 Montreal 34 24 7 75 195 196 20-6-4 14-18-3 6 Columbus 33 27 6 72 183 186 20-10-2 13-17-4 7 Carolina 35 27 5 75 189 192 18-13-1 17-14-4 7 Edmonton 32 27 6 70 184 199 15-12-4 17-15-2 8 NY Rangers 33 24 8 74 163 177 19-10-4 14-14-4 8 Dallas 31 26 8 70 190 199 17-12-4 14-14-4 9 Pittsburgh 34 26 6 74 202 198 17-12-2 17-14-4 9 Nashville 33 29 4 70 170 183 21-11-2 12-18-2 10 Buffalo 33 26 7 73 195 183 19-12-2 14-14-5 10 Anaheim 31 29 6 68 184 194 15-14-3 16-15-3 11 Toronto 26 27 13 65 196 235 11-12-9 15-15-4 11 Minnesota 31 28 5 67 164 155 18-11-5 13-17-0 12 Ottawa 25 29 10 60 165 187 15-12-6 10-17-4 12 St. Louis 29 28 8 66 180 194 16-12-5 13-16-3 13 Tampa Bay 21 32 13 55 171 220 11-14-9 10-18-4 13 Los Angeles 28 28 9 65 173 191 15-13-8 13-15-1 14 Atlanta 24 35 6 54 193 225 12-18-2 12-17-4 14 Phoenix 28 32 5 61 162 199 17-13-2 11-19-3 15 NY Islanders 21 37 7 49 163 213 15-14-5 6-23-2 15 Colorado 28 36 1 57 173 207 17-15-0 11-21-1

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP Tyler Arnason, Waste, Top 10 Things We’ll Miss About Wiz : 10. His fist, Tootoo’s face, repeat We’re still in shock 9. His oh-so-awkward appearances on morning TV shows that there was a time 8. His inability to hide how much he wanted the female host on said when the Hawks tried TV show to convince us that this 7. That gap-toothed smile as he went face first into someone, re- piece of shit would be the heart of a rebuilding minding us why we love hockey in the first place effort, and way disap- 6. His suspected-love of drinking blood pointed there were times we believed it. Arnie 5. Did we mention the pounding of Tootoo? is on his third team now, and soon his fourth, if 4. That metal t-shirt he wore in the ads for the televised home he can find a team that’s willing to have their games last season buffet emptied. Avs fans have been clamoring for him to be put in the pressbox for weeks 3. The fact that the producers of those ads were afraid to give him a now, except they’re worried it might collapse line on their heads. He’s skating, if you call it that, 2. That last-minute tying goal vs. St. Louis last spring, and his cel- on the 3rd line, but that’s only due to some ebration right in front of their bench injury problems for the Avs. Shame, there are, 1. Need we say it again? or at least were, a decent set of hands and vi- sion here. But you’ll never seem them. 36-18-9

Was that Campbell’s worst game this year yesterday? The frightening thing is that for $7 mil, there’s a host of contenders for that award! Most annoyingly, the B’s 4th goal was the result of a blowout on that fucking spin-o- jackass. Either way, we’re stripping him of his nickname. Nicknames are for closers only. # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 88 R Patrick Kane 5' 10" 187 20 61 21 37 58 1 38 11 0 3 192 10.9 $3,725,000 24 R The Perfect Beard 6' 2" 217 27 63 21 36 57 18 24 5 0 4 197 10.7 $6,000,000 19 C Marvel 6' 2" 209 20 63 27 29 56 11 41 10 0 6 160 16.9 $2,800,000 32 L VerStud 5' 10" 180 22 60 17 28 45 15 49 4 4 2 100 17 $491,667 51 D Brian Campbell 6' 0" 188 29 63 7 36 43 6 18 4 0 1 86 8.1 $7,142,875 36 C Dave Bolland 6' 0" 188 22 63 15 24 39 20 38 1 2 4 88 17 $845,833 16 L Nails 6' 2" 198 23 63 11 27 38 24 24 0 0 1 151 7.3 $1,550,000 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6' 1" 197 27 54 23 15 38 2 39 8 0 4 163 14.1 $3,900,000 2 D Duncan Keith 6' 1" 194 25 59 8 25 33 30 38 2 1 1 124 6.5 $1,475,000 25 D Cam Barker 6' 3" 213 22 50 4 27 31 -4 49 4 0 1 66 6.1 $2,768,587 33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6' 3" 247 23 58 11 12 23 0 66 3 0 3 154 7.1 $3,000,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6' 2" 213 23 54 9 14 23 12 46 3 1 0 103 8.7 $675,000 7 D Brent Seabrook 6' 3" 220 23 63 5 11 16 20 47 2 1 0 102 4.9 $3,500,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6' 1" 188 23 63 5 10 15 6 46 0 0 0 48 10.4 $500,000 26 C Samuel Pahlsson 6' 0" 204 31 52 5 10 15 -16 32 1 0 1 74 6.8 $301,000 55 L Ben Eager 6' 2" 220 24 59 10 4 14 7 123 0 0 0 63 15.9 $568,000 8 D Matt Walker 6' 3" 214 28 51 1 12 13 14 62 0 0 0 65 1.5 $600,000 37 R Adam Burish 6' 1" 189 26 47 5 3 8 6 71 0 0 2 67 7.5 $712,500 23 D Aaron Johnson 6' 1" 211 25 29 3 5 8 18 24 0 0 1 20 15 $600,000 5 D Brent Sopel 6' 1" 211 32 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333 27 L Pascal Pelletier 5' 11" 185 25 2 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 0 3 0 $145,000 4 D Niklas Hjalmarsson 6' 2" 200 21 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 $643,000 Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 203.1 24.4 209 366 14.7/g 59 9 33.2/g 10.21% $45,165,000 *injured Kaner, if you can laser a shot top shelf short-side, we’d like a 400-word essay explain- ing why you don’t more often. In the words of Dark Helmet, “Keep firing, asshole!” # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6' 1" 209 36 29 1673 2.37 17 5 5 1 870 66 0.924 0 2 6 $6,750,000 38 Cristobal Huet 6' 1" 205 33 36 2045 2.44 18 13 3 3 951 83 0.913 0 0 2 $5,625,000 31 Antti Niemi 6’ 2” 204 25 2 82 2.2 1 0 1 0 30 3 0.900 0 0 0 $488,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 31.3 3659 2.49 36 18 8 4 29.5/g 150 0.918 0 2 8 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000 CAP SPACE: $274,000* Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 2 Keith 7 Seabrook 22 Brouwer 19 Toews 88 Kane 51 Campbell 8 Walker Injury List Brent Sopel- Out (Talent) 23 Johnson 25 Barker 16 Ladd 36 Bolland 24 Havlat Patrick Sharp- Out (Knee) 33 Byfuglien 27 Pelletier 32 Versteeg Samuel Pahlsson-Out (Kissing wrong girl) Nikolai Khabibulin-Questionable (groin?) 37 Burish 46 Fraser 55 Eager

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every- thing I can think of to drive the core I am so close to completing the task fan away, strip hockey of all that’s Stern charged me with.... great about it, and eliminate any at- tention by the mainstream media... NO. 3...The Lanche, The Lanche 28-36-1

Ah, memories... # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 94 L 6' 1" 190 32 65 23 31 54 -8 52 9 1 3 213 10.8 $6,250,000 23 R 6' 0" 190 32 65 24 28 52 -8 12 9 1 2 181 13.3 $3,900,000 8 L Wojtek Wolski 6' 3" 210 22 64 14 22 36 -9 26 2 1 3 130 10.8 $2,800,000 26 C 6' 0" 205 22 39 10 24 34 -4 18 6 0 2 101 9.9 $850,000 4 D John-Michael Liles 5' 10" 185 27 58 8 22 30 -13 25 4 0 0 111 7.2 $4,200,000 40 R Marek Svatos 5' 10" 185 26 57 13 16 29 -5 32 6 0 1 112 11.6 $2,050,000 39 C Tyler Arnason 5' 11" 204 29 61 5 14 19 -16 14 2 0 1 96 5.2 $1,675,000 24 D Ruslan Salei 6' 1" 212 34 63 4 15 19 -7 62 1 0 0 86 4.7 $3,025,000 37 C T.J. Hensick 5' 10" 183 23 45 4 14 18 -1 12 1 0 0 91 4.4 $727,000

55 L Cody McLeod 6' 2" 210 24 65 12 5 17 -3 132 0 0 3 90 13.3 $522,500 A marvelous signing, don’t you think? 14 R Ian Laperriere 6' 1" 200 34 57 7 10 17 0 117 0 0 0 51 13.7 $1,150,000 42 R Chris Stewart 6' 2" 228 21 40 9 7 16 -16 47 0 1 0 80 11.3 $590,000 54 R David Jones** 6' 2" 210 24 40 8 5 13 -8 8 1 0 1 47 17 $550,000 19 C Joe Sakic** 5' 11" 195 39 15 2 10 12 -6 6 0 0 0 46 4.3 $6,000,000 16 R Darcy Tucker 5' 10" 178 33 51 6 6 12 -15 61 1 0 1 70 8.6 $2,500,000 5 D Brett Clark 6' 0" 195 31 65 2 10 12 -6 32 0 0 1 79 2.5 $3,500,000 11 C Cody McCormick 6' 3" 215 25 41 1 10 11 1 57 0 0 0 46 2.2 $522,500 28 C Ben Guite 6' 1" 211 30 33 3 5 8 2 10 0 0 0 36 8.3 $475,000 52 D Adam Foote 6' 2" 220 37 39 1 5 6 -12 30 0 0 1 18 5.6 $3,000,000 22 D Scott Hannan 6' 1" 225 29 64 0 6 6 -13 24 0 0 0 48 0 $4,500,000 18 R Brian Willsie 6' 2" 203 30 31 1 3 4 -5 8 0 0 0 40 2.5 $461,000 29 D Daniel Tjarnqvist 6' 1" 207 31 32 2 1 3 -1 6 0 0 0 17 11.8 $750,000 3 D Lawrence Nycholat 6' 0" 200 29 14 0 1 1 3 6 0 0 0 8 0 $118,000 48 D Kyle Cumiskey ** 5' 10" 185 23 6 0 0 0 -2 0 0 0 0 2 0 $329,000 Totals/Averages 6’ 0” 202 29 165 270 12.7/g 43 4 29/g 7.16% $51,493,000 It’s really surprising how old this team is, especially on the blue line. Liles is the only d-man of use under 30. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 31 Peter Budaj 6' 1" 200 26 44 2512 3.03 16 25 1 1 1206 127 0.895 0 1 0 $700,000 1 Andrew Raycroft 6' 0" 185 28 25 1406 3.12 12 11 0 0 693 73 0.895 0 0 2 $800,000 Totals/Averages 6' 1" 199 27 3.17 28 36 1 1 29.3/g 206 0.895 0 1 2 $1,500,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $52,933,000 ** injured CAP SPACE: $3,707,000 Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 4 Liles 22 Hannan Injury List 94 Smyth 26 Stastny 23 Hejduk 52 Foote 5 Clark Joe Sakic-Out (Fingers) David Jones-Out (Shoulder) 42 Stewart 8 Wolski 16 Tucker 24 Salei 29 Tjarnqvist Kyle Cuminskey-Out (Shoulder) 11 McCormick 39 Arnason 40 Svatos 55 McCleod 28 Guite 14 Laperriere

...IS THIS THE YEAR? Gillette Mach-24: The Best A Contract Year Can Get

Only-Good-When-You’re-Drunk Beard. Perfect Beard.

No-Wonder-You-Lost-Florida- Asshole Beard. Perfect Beard.

Wouldn’t-Fool-A-Blind-Man Beard. Perfect Beard. The New Mach-24 From Gillette “Only For The Most Perfect Beards” The Fight Card HAWKS vs. AVS Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing 11-3-08 Burish v. 2nd. McLeod lands a big right at opening bell, but McLeod II 12:56 Burish is able to land enough lefts to open √ √ McLeod up. A draw. 11-3-08 Eager v. 2nd. Eager takes on aged tool, as is his habit. Laperriere 11:28 Both swing wildly and miss, so we’ll call it √ a Soriano. 2-17-08 Burish v. 1st. Burish lands many quality shots, TKO for McLeod I 8:58 √ √ our hero. 1-18-08 Burish v. 1st. Not much to say about this one, so let’s Laperriere 3:52 all ponder the place of violence in society √ silently.

What To Watch For: Frankly, we have no idea. The ‘Lanche are middle of the pack when it comes to times engaged. With Laperriere and McLeod around, there’s always a chance. They have 13 and 10 scraps, respectively. But this team long ago lost anything to play for, and you wonder how much passion they have left. Still, if the Hawks get up early, frustration may boil over. Power Play Kill Team Opp PPG PP% Team OPP PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% Team TS PPGA PK% DET 286 78 27.3 CGY 283 54 19.1 MIN 229 28 87.8 OTT 266 50 81.2 WSH 275 67 24.4 VAN 273 51 18.7 NYR 256 32 87.5 CHI 265 50 81.1 SJS 281 68 24.2 MTL 296 53 17.9 CGY 289 44 84.8 PIT 267 53 80.2 BOS 256 58 22.7 TBL 274 48 17.5 NSH 282 44 84.4 ANA 318 64 79.9 BUF 288 63 21.9 NYI 256 44 17.2 BUF 263 42 84.0 DAL 257 52 79.8 PHI 246 53 21.5 EDM 286 48 16.8 SJS 244 41 83.2 WSH 324 66 79.6 CHI 274 59 21.5 COL 261 43 16.5 FLA 256 44 82.8 COL 249 51 79.5 ANA 248 53 21.4 CAR 304 50 16.4 PHI 315 55 82.5 CAR 243 50 79.4 STL 270 56 20.7 DAL 282 46 16.3 STL 284 50 82.4 VAN 284 59 79.2 MIN 256 53 20.7 PIT 284 46 16.2 MTL 295 52 82.4 TBL 317 66 79.2 LAK 296 60 20.3 FLA 248 38 15.3 BOS 241 43 82.2 DET 265 59 77.7 ATL 265 52 19.6 NYR 270 39 14.4 LAK 277 50 82.0 PHX 238 53 77.7 NJD 240 47 19.6 PHX 270 39 14.4 NYI 282 51 81.9 EDM 272 63 76.8 TOR 267 52 19.5 NSH 258 37 14.3 NJD 253 47 81.4 TOR 247 61 75.3 OTT 258 50 19.4 CBJ 272 34 12.5 CBJ 266 50 81.2 ATL 279 69 75.3 Spotlight Bobby Ryan Joe Sakic

We understand Sakic is a enough of a down-to-Earth guy that he wouldn’t pay someone else to mow his lawn. But isn’t that what kids are for? Why else would you have them? Anyway, for those who don’t know, Sakic injured himself by trying to fix his lawn-mower and cut up several of his fingers. That is why he is missing what very well may have been his last visit to Chicago. With the Avs in such disarray, and not blessed with the cap room -- barring some miraculous moves over the summer -- to turn it around quickly, it’s hard to imagine that #19 will come back to toil for an also-ran. It’s downright impossible to picture him playing for anyone but the only organization he’s ever known, either. Sakic is a sure-fire first-ballot Hall of Famer, and provided us Hawks fans with enough nightmares to last a lifetime. We always wonder how Game 4 in 1996 would have turned out if the Hawks medical staff hadn’t numbed Chelios’s leg mistakenly, causing him to miss that game. Sakic didn’t seem to care, bagged the double-overtime winner, and kickstarted our descent into hell. Sakic’s crowning season came in ‘00-’01, when he put up 54 goals, 118 points, was a +45, and then another 19 points in the Avs second march to the Cup. He was one of the best players of the past 20 years; his shot-release was something to behold. But his game was so much more, and it’s a shame we won’t get to see it one more time here in Chicago. The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL 847-952-8000 [email protected] KNOW THY ENEMY

Today, David from Mile High Hockey (www.milehighhockey.com) and there may not be a whole lot that can be done outside of “better answers our queries about the Avs. coaching.”

Obviously, it’s hard to describe what this season has been for What other youngster might the Avs try to build around that we you, though we think it rhymes with sabortion. What’s gone might not know here? wrong? Probably Chris Stewart. He’s a big power forward the Avalanche Oh, I see what you’re doing here. You want me to say Joe Quenn- drafted in the first round in ‘06. He’s not exactly lighting up the eville, right? Well, I’m not going to do that, buster. The Avs had league (16 points in 40 games), partly because Tony Granato has the exact same issues under Q; they can’t score consistently, can’t been too stingy with the ice time. But he’s shown flashes of several defend consistently, can’t get consistent goaltending, can’t score on tools - speed, hands, toughness - and he looks like he could be a the powerplay, can’t kill penalties. This team has been plagued by good one. inconsistency in each of the last three years. You get a good streak, and then the team goes into the crapper for a spell. It’s maddening. This will be only the second time the Avs have missed the play- offs since landing in Denver, and the last time they did so with Should you guys have tried to move more pieces and money at a record points total to miss the postseason. How have the Avs the deadline? Is Ryan Smyth or Darcy Tucker really something fans, and the denver sports scene as a whole, handled their first you need? Were there offers? truly bad season? We assume they’ve built a big enough base to We would have loved to see Francois Giguere move Tucker, Brett handle it smoothly enough.... Clark or your old pal Tyler Arnason (we call his line the Donut Line, Fans are frustrated. Smyth and Hannan were added two summers because there’s nothing in the middle). While it’s a shame that none ago on July 1st, but most of the deals since then have been rather of those guys were moved, I’m pretty happy that Smyth, Milan He- lame. Let me put it this way: we re-signed Tyler Arnason! A lot of jduk, and Ian Laperriere were not moved. As bad as we are playing the team deficiciencies - faceoffs, penalty killing, a man on right now, I don’t think we are that far from fielding a competitive the powerplay - have been deficiencies for a couple of seasons now team. and there hasn’t been any effort to fix them either with trades or free agency. The hiring of Tony Granato last summer was not a popu- Will Sakic be back next season? lar one. We were more than happy to see Quenneville go, but we I sure would like to see it, but I’m not holding my breath. *sad face* would have loved to see the Avs go after a guy like Todd McLellan. Instead, Giguere stayed in house, going to a coach that had already What are the Avs going to have to do next summer to quickly failed once. Then, to allow Granato to implement his new “up- turn this around? tempo” style, Giguere brought in Darcy Tucker (to be fair, Tucker Obtain a #1 goaltender and hire a new coach. has provided numerous up-tempo scoring chances. It’s just that they have been for the other team). Avalanche fans are not used to losing You’ve got some young, promising forwards in Stastny, Wolski, and they aren’t used to a GM that prefers the safe and conservative and Svatos, but you’re blueline looks awfully old and expensive. approach. I think there will be a lot of unhappy campers if there is How big of a problem is this? not a major shakeup in the front office this summer. This was supposed to be an area of strength, but it’s been far from it this year. If the squad was playing to its collective potential, the cost (or the 3 NTCs) wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But they aren’t, it is,

Hawks-AVS: the Last 4

Jn. 8th, 2009: Hawks 1, Avs 2 Dec. 12th, 2008: Hawks 4, Avs 3 A pretty putrid effort, a pretty nothing game. #3 of the December March To The Sea, Hawks Wolksi wins it with seven minutes to go. And battle back from 3-2 down in the 3rd. Havlat, tired that’s all Forrest Gump has to say about that. of Buff’s uselessness, decides to just bank one off him for the winner.

Nov. 3rd, 2008: Avs 2, Hawks 6 Feb. 17th, 2008: Avs 1, Hawks 2 A close game entering the 3rd, the Sharp-Shooter A dominating defensive effort from The Men of blows it open with two goals in the final period. Four Feathers, as Patrick Lalime stops 21 of 22 Ladd also scores twice. shots faced, losing shutout with 2 minutes to go. Buff and Havlat score on the PP for the Hawks. Hockey Sabermetrics CHICAGO Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calcu- lated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60. NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Aaron Johnson -0.04 -0.1 11.78 4 1.27 2.73 2.17 1.78 0.4 2.33 Andrew Ladd 0.11 0.14 12.82 3.61 1.92 1.69 2.47 2.02 0.45 1.24 Adam Burish -0.11 0.07 7.16 2.79 1.12 1.68 2.83 2.09 0.74 0.93 Matt Walker -0.05 -0.08 13.81 3.02 1.6 1.42 2.57 1.95 0.61 0.81 Dave Bolland 0.12 0.23 12.53 3.46 2.12 1.33 2.54 1.94 0.6 0.74 Duncan Keith 0.09 0.03 18.47 3.13 1.88 1.25 2.81 2.18 0.62 0.63 Martin Havlat 0.06 0.14 13.51 3.5 2.33 1.17 2.5 1.85 0.65 0.52 Ben Eager -0.13 -0.02 8.07 2.61 1.3 1.3 2.9 2.06 0.84 0.46 Colin Fraser -0.13 -0.01 7.79 2.53 1.39 1.14 2.85 2.12 0.73 0.4 Troy Brouwer 0.01 -0.19 11.52 2.6 1.5 1.1 2.83 2.02 0.81 0.29 Brent Seabrook 0.1 0.22 16.62 2.55 1.89 0.65 2.94 2.05 0.89 -0.24 Kris Versteeg 0.02 -0.23 12.27 2.78 2.19 0.59 2.85 2 0.84 -0.25 Jonathan Toews 0.02 -0.16 13.19 2.98 2.39 0.6 2.72 1.83 0.88 -0.29 Brian Campbell -0.04 -0.05 17.5 2.92 2.3 0.62 2.71 1.8 0.92 -0.3 Patrick Kane 0.03 -0.16 13.94 2.7 2.33 0.36 2.67 1.9 0.77 -0.41 Dustin Byfuglien -0.03 -0.02 11.97 1.97 1.7 0.27 3.2 2.17 1.03 -0.77 Patrick Sharp -0.03 -0.04 13.25 2.52 2.26 0.25 2.9 1.83 1.07 -0.82 Cam Barker -0.05 -0.06 13.35 2.34 2.72 -0.37 2.93 1.58 1.35 -1.72 Pascal Pelletier -0.18 -0.43 7.77 0 0 0 1.95 0 1.95 -1.95 Samuel Pahlsson 0.07 -1.07 12.14 1.65 2.81 -1.16 2.7 1.87 0.83 -1.99 Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn Face-offs Shots attempted for a team vs. how many are Player Face-Offs Taken FO% attempted against while a given player is on vs. Taken the ice, per 60 min. Samuel Pahlsson 1016 53.5 NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Jonathan Toews 979 53.4 Martin Havlat 15.5 Kris Versteeg 1.5 0.7 Colin Fraser 649 47.3 Jonathan Toews 15.4 Patrick Kane 1.5 1.1 Patrick Sharp 556 46.0 Andrew Ladd 13.6 Colin Fraser 1.4 0.5 Dave Bolland 916 44.3 Brian Campbell 13.4 Patrick Sharp 1.4 0.9 Krs Versteeg 215 43.7 Troy Brouwer 12.9 Adam Burish 1.3 0.9 Total Rank: 28th 47.1 Brent Seabrook 12.1 Dave Bolland 1.3 0.6 Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Patrick Sharp 11.9 Ben Eager 1.3 2.5 This is a measure of a team’s This measures how many goals a goals-for per 60 minutes of player team gives up per 60 minutes the Andrew Ladd 1.2 0.7 Patrick Kane 11.7 being on the ice on the power play. player is on the ice on the PK. Troy Brouwer 1.2 0.9 Adam Burish 11.5 Player GFON/60 Player GA/60 Martin Havlat 1.1 0.7 Kris Versteeg 11.4 Cam Barker 10.32 Andrew Ladd 4.17 Dustin Byfuglien 1.1 1.3 Duncan Keith 11.3 Patrick Sharp 8.61 Adam Burish 4.25 Jonathan Toews 1 0.7 Dave Bolland 10.7 Patrick Kane 7.79 Brent Seabrook 5.05 Brian Campbell 0.5 0.4 Dustin Byfuglien 10.7 Jonathan Toews 7.51 Duncan Keith 5.38 Samuel Pahlsson 0.5 1.3 Cam Barker 9.5 Dustin Byfuglien 7.33 Aaron Johnson 5.42 Aaron Johnson 0.4 2 Aaron Johnson 8.9 Troy Brouwer 7.21 Colin Fraser 6.73 Matt Walker 0.4 0.6 Matt Walker 8.2 Brian Campbell 6.95 S. Pahlsson 6.86 Duncan Keith 0.2 0.8 Ben Eager 7.6 Duncan Keith 6.72 Matt Walker 7.14 Brent Seabrook 0.2 0.9 Colin Fraser 4.2 Martin Havlat 6.44 Kris Versteeg 7.43 Cam Barker 0 0.7 Samuel Pahlsson -12.9 Brent Seabrook 6.34 Dave Bolland 7.78 Pascal Pelletier 0 0 Kris Versteeg 6.03 Cam Barker 9.16 Hockey Sabermetrics COLORADO Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calcu- lated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60. NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Cody McCormick -0.07 0.14 8.82 2.55 2.38 0.17 2.11 3.28 -1.17 1.34 Ben Guite -0.06 0.24 8.84 2.55 2.33 0.21 2.15 3.05 -0.9 1.11 Ian Laperriere -0.04 0.01 10.15 2.04 2.04 0 2.08 3.14 -1.06 1.06 Cody McLeod -0.04 0.03 9.94 2.3 2.4 -0.1 2.16 2.86 -0.7 0.61 T.J. Hensick -0.06 -0.14 10.57 2.38 2.24 0.13 2.09 2.52 -0.43 0.56 Ruslan Salei -0.01 -0.01 16.04 2.64 2.82 -0.18 1.96 2.71 -0.74 0.56 Marek Svatos -0.04 -0.09 10.72 2.44 2.54 -0.1 2.22 2.76 -0.55 0.44 Milan Hejduk 0.07 0.03 13.98 2.79 3.07 -0.27 1.93 2.63 -0.7 0.43 Brett Clark 0.06 0.01 16.17 2.12 2.53 -0.41 2.23 2.88 -0.66 0.25 Paul Stastny 0.04 0.09 14.33 2.31 2.98 -0.66 1.9 2.76 -0.85 0.19 Wojtek Wolski 0.03 -0.08 13.47 2.44 2.87 -0.43 2.11 2.73 -0.62 0.18 Ryan Smyth 0.06 0.09 15.01 2.54 3.05 -0.51 2.02 2.63 -0.6 0.1 J.M. Liles -0.03 -0.01 15.81 2.37 2.98 -0.61 2.05 2.68 -0.63 0.02 D. Tjarnqvist -0.12 -0.07 13.16 1.77 2.06 -0.29 2.54 2.71 -0.17 -0.13 Adam Foote 0.06 0.07 15.51 1.73 2.75 -1.02 2.2 3.03 -0.84 -0.18 Scott Hannan 0.08 0.06 17.19 2.03 2.76 -0.73 2.3 2.76 -0.46 -0.27 Darcy Tucker -0.01 -0.05 12.03 1.1 2.39 -1.3 2.38 3 -0.63 -0.67 Tyler Arnason 0.01 0.04 12.32 1.9 2.97 -1.07 2.36 2.68 -0.32 -0.75 Chris Stewart 0 0.06 11.13 2.13 3.97 -1.84 2.27 2.49 -0.22 -1.63

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn Face-offs This measures how many shots are attempted Player Face-Offs Taken FO% for a team vs. how many are attempted against vs. Taken while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min. Pretty self-explanatory. A measure of penalties drawn Paul Stastny 749 52.9 vs. taken, per 60 min. NAME CORSI Ben Guite 300 51.7 NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 D. Tjarnqvist 2.9 Ryan Smyth 151 51.1 Darcy Tucker 1.8 1.5 Paul Stastny 0.4 Wojtek Wolski 372 48.9 Ryan Smyth 1.6 0.8 Ryan Smyth -2 T.J. Hensick 377 47.7 Cody McLeod 1.5 1.7 Marek Svatos -2.7 Tyler Arnason 690 46.2 Paul Stastny 1.5 0.6 Milan Hejduk -3.3 Total: Rank: 22nd 48.3 Marek Svatos 1.4 0.9 J.M. Liles -3.3 Cody McCormick 1.2 1.9 Darcy Tucker -3.3 Ben Guite 1.1 0.8 Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Tyler Arnason -5.9 This is a measure of a team’s goals This measures how many goals Milan Hejduk 1 0.3 for per 60 minutes of player being a team gives up per 60 minutes Ruslan Salei -6.4 Tyler Arnason 1 0.6 on the ice on the power play. the player is on the ice on the Ben Guite -7 Player GAON/60 Wojtek Wolski 0.9 0.6 Player GFON/60 Cody McCormick -8.3 Wojtek Wolski 4.05 Chris Stewart 0.9 0.6 Marek Svatos 8.88 Wojtek Wolski -9.6 Ruslan Salei 5.16 Ruslan Salei 0.6 1.4 J.M. Liles 8.38 T.J. Hensick -10.7 Adam Foote 6 Scott Hannan 0.5 0.6 Paul Stastny 7.5 Ian Laperriere -10.9 Milan Hejduk 6.02 T.J. Hensick 0.4 0.5 Ryan Smyth 7.13 Brett Clark -13.2 Ben Guite 6.82 J.M. Liles 0.3 0.4 Milan Hejduk 6.93 Adam Foote -14.9 Paul Stastny 6.86 Ian Laperriere 0.2 1.1 Wojtek Wolski 6.19 Cody McLeod -15.4 Brian Willsie 7.78 Brett Clark 0.2 0.6 Darcy Tucker 4.92 Scott Hannan -16.8 Ian Laperriere 7.86 D. Tjarnqvist 0.1 0.4 Ruslan Salei 4.63 Chris Stewart -17.4 Scott Hannan 8.2 Adam Foote 0.1 1.2 Brett Clark 4.57 Chris Stewart 3.02 Brett Clark 8.85 T.J. Hensick 2.86 Referee Stats For The Hawks

Referees 1st NHL Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/ W L OTL Game PK’s Game 2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 3 14 17 10.3 4.7 5.7 3 0 0 3 Leggo, Mike 1997 4 12 18 7.4 3 4.5 3 0 1 4 McCauley, Wes 2003 5 11 14 5.0 2.2 2.8 2 2 0 5 Rooney, Chris 2000 1 4 1 5.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0 6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0 7 McCreary, Bill 1984 4 17 15 8.0 4.3 3.8 2 3 0 8 Jackson, Dave 1990 6 28 24 8.7 4.7 4.0 4 1 1 10 Devorski, Paul 1989 3 12 16 9.3 4 5.3 1 2 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 1 5 8 13.0 5.0 8.0 0 1 0 12 Koharski, Don 1981 4 19 20 9.8 4.8 5.0 3 0 1 13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 4 22 17 9.8 5.5 4.3 2 1 1 14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 5 22 22 8.8 4.4 4.4 3 0 1 15 Auger, Stephane 2000 4 17 13 7.5 4.3 3.3 3 0 1 16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1 18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 5 26 25 10.2 5.2 5.0 3 2 0 20 Peel, Tim 1999 3 15 16 10.3 3.3 5.3 2 1 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 3 10 5 5.0 3.3 1.7 2 0 1 23 Watson, Brad 1996 2 7 4 5.5 3.5 2.0 1 0 1 25 Joannette, Marc 1999 2 13 5 9.0 6.5 2.5 1 0 1 26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0 27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 6 27 26 8.8 4.5 4.3 2 3 1 28 Lee, Chris 2001 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 1 0 0 29 Walsh, Ian 2000 1 1 3 4.0 1.0 3.0 0 1 0 30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 3 22 13 11.7 7.3 4.3 0 1 2 32 Kowal, Tom 2000 4 13 10 5.8 3.3 2.5 4 0 0 33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 3 10 12 7.3 3.3 4.0 1 1 1 34 Meier, Brad 1999 4 14 20 8.5 3.5 5.0 3 1 0 35 Warren, Dean 1999 ------36 Morton, Dean 2000 2 16 10 13.0 8.0 5.0 0 1 1 38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1 39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 3 16 15 10.3 5.3 5.0 2 0 1 40 Kozari, Steve 2006 4 26 20 11.5 6.5 5.0 2 2 0 42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 2 11 13 12.0 5.5 6.5 1 0 1 43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 3 12 14 8.6 4 4.6 2 1 0 45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 6 29 26 9.2 4.8 4.3 3 1 2

NHL LEADERS Goals Points GAA SV%

Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 A. Ovechkin WAS 46 1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 94 1 Tim Thomas BOS 2.08 1 Tim Thomas BOS .932 2 Zach Parise NJ 38 2 A. Ovechkin WAS 83 2 Steve Mason CBJ 2.24 2 T. Vokoun FLA .926 3 Jeff Carter PHI 36 3 S. Crosby PIT 80 3 Pekka Rinne NSH 2.27 3 N. Khabibulin CHI .924 4 I. Kovalchuk ATL 35 4 Zach Parise NJ 78 4 N. Backstrom MIN 2.32 4 Craig Anderson FLA .923 5 M. Cammalleri SJ 34 5 DET 78 5 M. Fernandez BOS 2.32 5 N. Backstrom MIN .922 17 J. Toews CHI 27 32 Patrick Kane CHI 58 7 N. Khabibulin CHI 2.37 From The 300 Level Deadline Reaction We enjoyed having Stuy from the 300 Level so much on Tuesday, experienced the NHL playoffs. we thought we’d do it again today for some reaction to the Trade I know what you’re thinking, “Stuy the guy has MONO!” Deadline. I realize that but he has been cleared to play. His conditioning is probably low due to not playing for a month but he should be 100% First of all, thank you for all the great feedback from my by playoff time. This is when we need him most. Most likely, first article everyone. Now on to business: The post-Trade Deadline the Hawks will be playing Vancouver in the first round if nothing talk has been huge on the 300 Level message board over the last few changes by seasons end. Coach Q is going to have Pahlsson on Matt days. It turns out the Hawks fax machine was working this year, Sundin game in and game out. His one and only job will be to make they just forgot to get paper for it. sure Matt Sundin has nightmares about him. Teams that have had There was many an upset fan over success in the playoffs and go deep had guys the acquisition of Sammy Pahlsson and the like Pahlsson around, guys like Claude Lemi- departure of James “Wiz” Wisniewski. Wiz uex and Esa Tikkanen. These types of players was for sure a fan favourite, no doubt about are a necessity in the playoffs, whether it’s it. My initial reaction was anger. I was hop- shadowing the other teams star, winning big ing for an upgrade over Bolland and I liked face-offs, or wreaking havoc in the corners. Wiz as well. After giving it some time and These guys are far from offensive dynamos, listening to what coach Q had to say about but that was never a problem with this team. Pahlsson, I’ve decided to let the trade play The Hawks are one of the top scoring teams it’s self out. in the league right now. Scoring goals is not a In Wiz, we had a pretty good de- problem. fenseman. He was tough and a stand-up guy Listening to Coach Q’s comments he in the locker room but let’s look at the facts. sounds pretty happy about filling this glaring Wiz had knee problems and some significant hole within the team. I’ll defer to him right knee surgeries over the years. He missed the first half of the season now that he got the player he wanted but if Pahlsson fails to bring this year due to knee surgery. The Hawks did pretty damn well with- anything to the Hawks some heads are going to role, mainly Dale out him in the lineup during that time as well. Wiz is also a restricted Tallon’s. free agent at year’s end, and was looking for a raise. The chances are good he would have been traded in the offseason. Now let’s talk about the present. There are less than 20 A lot of fans are angry that the Hawks didn’t get Antoine games remaining but the Hawks are not in the clear at all. Vancou- Vermette from Ottawa and that he went to rival Columbus. Unfortu- ver is hot right now, as is Columbus. This is not the time to have a nately for the Hawks, the Sens were looking to sure up their goal- setback in the season as it could cost the Hawks home ice advantage tending problem and they believe Pascal Leclaire -- who Vermette in the first round. Now’s the time to put the hammer down and sprint was traded for -- will be their #1 goalie for years to come. He’s also to the finish. signed passed this year at a decent salary. So the Hawks turned to Pahlsson, who has won a Stanley Patrick Sharp is supposed to start skating again on Monday Cup in Anaheim and was a big part of playing on shutdown pen- which is great news. alty killing lines during that cup run. That’s what the Hawks need badly. The Hawks penalty kill has been horrible lately and Pahlsson Stuy is the Head Administator of The 300 Level, the top of the hilt in should help out. On top of that, Pahlsson brings a winning attitude Hawks messageboards (stuy.proboards51.com). to a dressing room that has many younger players who have not yet

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info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Samuel Pahlsson (COL 7th round 1996) Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997 and Logan Stephenson (PHX 2nd round Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001) 2004) from ANA for James Wisniewski Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) (CHI 5th round 2002) and Petri Kontiola Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) (CHI 7th round 2004) Antti Niemi (Undrafted FA) Pascal Pelletier (BOS Undrafted FA 2006) from BOS for Martin St. Pierre (CHI Undrafted FA 2005) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995) PHI for Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Jack Skille (1st round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th 1992) round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) Jim Vandermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) Adam Burish (9th round)

GM HISTORY COACHES Dale Tallon (2005-Present) Head Coach-Joel Quenneville Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck- Assistant Coach-John Torchetti ing Times) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Mike Smith (2001-2004) Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite The Making of The Colorado

Avalanche info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Lawrence Nycholat (MIN Undrafted FA 2000), Darcy Tucker (MON 6th round Ryan Wilson, and 2009 2nd round pick for Jordan 1993) Leopold (ANA 2nd round 1989) Andrew Raycroft (BOS 5th round 1998) Brian Willsie (COL 6th round 1996) Daniel Tjarnqvist (FLA 4th round 1996) 2007-2008 Adam Foote (QUE 2nd round 1989) from CLB Ryan Smyth (EDM 1st round for 2009 1st and 4th round pick. 1994) Ruslan Salei (ANA 1st round 1996) from Florida Scott Hannan (SJ 1st round 1997) in exchange for Karlis Skrastins (NSH 9th round 1998) and 2008 3rd round pick) 2006-2007 Chris Stewart (1st round) Tyler Arnason (CHI 7th round 1998) Ben Guite (MON 7th round 1997) Cody McLeod (undrafted FA) 2005-2006 Paul Stastny (2nd round) T.J. Hensick (3rd round) Kyle Cumiskey (7th round) 2004-2005 Wojtek Wolski (1st Ian Laperriere (STL 7th round round) 1992) 2003-2004 David Jones (9th round) 2001-2002 Peter Budaj (2nd round) Brett Clark (MON 6th round 1996) from ATL for Cody McCormick (5th Frederic Cassivi (OTT 9th round 1994) round) Marek Svatos (7th round) 2000-2001 John-Michael Liles (5th round) 1994-1995 Milan Hejduk (4th round)

GM HISTORY COACHES 2007-Present: Francois Giguere Head Coach: Tony Granato 1995-2007: Pierre LaCroix Asst. Coach: Jacques Cloutier 1991-1995: Pierre Page Asst. Coach: Dave Barr Goaltending Coach: Jeff Hackett The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 17-5-6 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 2-2-1 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 13-10-4 Playing on road...... 19-13-3 Taking 30 or more shots...... 27-13-7 Are even close on face-offs..... 23-8-5 Scoring first...... 25-5-3 Taking less than 30 shots..... 9-5-2 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 31-16-9 Opponent scores first...... 11-13-6 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 16-7-5 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 5-1-1 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 20-11-4 during 4-on-4...... 31-15-9 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 12-3-5 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 17-4-6 Pat Foley screws up a name...... 34-15-9 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 4-5-3 Ice Crew wear skirts...... 7-1-3 ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ...... 0-1-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 7-4-0 Ice Crew wear pants...... 3-1-0 Playing on a Monday...... 2-2-1 Opponent played night before.... 8-3-1 Ice Crew wear shorts.... 7-3-3 Playing on a Tuesday...... 6-2-0 Taking more than 5 penalties..... 16-13-4 Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0 Playing on a Wednesday...... 7-1-2 Taking 5 or less penalties.... 20-5-5 Leading after 2 periods...... 29-2-3 Playing on a Thursday...... 2-3-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 8-4-4 Losing after 2 periods...... 2-11-3 Playing on a Friday...... 4-3-3 Burish takes a penalty...... 7-5-2 Tied after 2 periods...... 5-5-3 Playing on a Saturday...... 7-5-3 Keith takes a penalty...... 11-3-2 In overtime...... 4-4 Playing on a Sunday...... 8-2-0 Sharp takes a penalty...... 10-2-2 In shootout...... 2-5 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Toews takes a penalty..... 8-4-2 Cam Barker plays...... 29-14-6 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 35-16-8 Havlat takes a penalty.... 6-3-1 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 5-2-3 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 10-14-4 Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Lacking a #2 center...... 36-18-9 Outshoot opponent...... 25-10-4 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-5 In 1-goal games..... 8-6-9 Are outshot by opponent.... 11-8-5 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 25-15-8 In 2-goal games...... 12-6-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 16-6-6 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-7-2 In 3-goal games...... 7-4-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 11-5-2 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 3-2-4 In 4+ goal games...... 8-2-0 Jonathan Toews scores...... 12-2-5 No fights in 300 Level..... 14-3-2 Scoring 3+ goals..... 33-5-4 Martin Havlat scores...... 13-4-1 Playing Eastern Conference..... 7-3-3 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 2-12-4 Patrick Sharp scores...... 15-3-2 Playing Western Conference..... 29-15-6 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 7-1-1 Playing Central Division...... 4-6-5 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 17-5-6 Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 29-14-7 Playing Northwest Division.... 12-5-0 PA plays Stranglehold...... 5-2-3 Andrew Ladd scores...... 10-0-1 Playing Pacific Division 13-4-1 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Dave Bolland scores...... 11-1-2 Playing Atlantic Division 1-1-2 Fraser fights...... 7-2-1 Adam Burish scores...... 3-2-0, and totally ruins that joke Playing NASCAR Division 3-1-0 Burish fights...... 5-2-0 51 Phantom scores...... 3-2-1 Playing Northeast Division 3-1-1 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 5-3-0 Playing in October.... 4-3-3 Barker fights...... 0-0-2 Brent Seabrook scores...... 4-0-1 Playing in November.... 6-3-3 Buff fights...... 1-0-2 VerStud scores.... 10-5-1 Playing in December...... 10-1-1 Sharp fights...... 1-0-0 Troy Brouwer scores.... 7-0-0 Playing in January..... 7-6-1 Eager fights...... 10-1-1 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 26-6-8 Playing in February..... 7-4-1 On Comcast...... 27-10-6 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 10-11-1 Playing in March...... 2-1-0 On WGN...... 9-5-3 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 14-14-9 Playing in April...... 0-0-0 On Vs...... 0-2-0 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 22-4-0 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 17-3-6 On NBC.... 0-1-0 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 6-2-0 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-10-3 Judd Sirott hates Adam Creighton 36-17-9

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