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T WEEKLY “If the true freedom of the press is to decideR for itself what to publish and when to publish it, the true responsibility of the press [is to] assert and defend that freedom.” – Tom Wicker Volume ?,37, Number Number ? 25 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 MonthApril Day, 15, 2003Year

Inside Former SGA Presidential Candidate Files Election Appeal News...... page 1 Swayne Accuses President Shockley Retriever staff asked to testify, of Sabotage, Defamation Habitat for verting a specific campaign activity, Humanity sleeps BRETT MCKENZIE were an attempt subvert the overall outside. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff ability of my and my running-mate’s ability to campaign. Otherwise he Former SGA presidential can- should have made attempts to bring didate Brian Swayne has filed an this information out when it first election appeal alleging President D. came to light therefore leaving time Philip Shockley sabotaged and for the Retriever to properly research defamed Swayne and his campaign it and time for my running-mate and in last week’s executive election. I to respond.” According to Swayne’s allega- Opinion.....page 9 The article “House Finance tions, Shockley, who was re-elected Co-ed living Committee Chair, Presidential for a second presidential term on debated, whilst Candidate Asked to Resign” ran in Thursday, allegedly sabotaged the weather and war last week’s edition of The Retriever election and committed defamation pique everyone’s Weekly. by leaking false information about interest. Swayne did not comment on Swayne to The Retriever Weekly the issue, other than referring The and pressuring the publication to run Retriever Weekly to the appeal. an article the day before the elec- Regarding the allegations that tions. Shockley pressured The Retriever In the appeal, Swayne wrote, “[Shockley’s] actions while not sub- see SGA, page 4 Courtesy of Doug Kapustin Features.....page 18 Chess Team Nationally Recognized: President TeeVee returns, Pi Kappa Phi Pitches Hrabowski and Dr. Alan T. Sherman watch Edward and see what sets “A Misha Tsibulevskiy compete. On April 6, the UMBC Chess Man Apart,” and Team defeated the University of Texas Dallas at the “Final travel around with in for PUSH America Four” intercollegiate chess competition. MTV. Bands, Beer and Rock- Climbing Planned for Sports...... page 28 Men’s Lacrosse upsets North Quadmania 2003 Carolina and Mike Orlando is recog- ALLISON HOUSEWORTH attractions. There will be inflatables, nized. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer contests, fire-eaters, a rock climbing wall, gifts and vendors. Quadmania, UMBC’s largest SEB, along with help from the Also check out: campus-wide party, will rock SGA Senate, has set aside free college news...... page 2 UMBC on Erickson Field outside tokens for students to use at carnival the Commons starting at 1 p.m. on world news...... page 3 games where they can win prizes. Saturday, April 26. Mark Stewart, classifieds...... page 35 Once students use the free tokens, Student Events Board president, there will be several more available Courtesy of Pi Kappa Phi said, “Quadmania 2003 will be big- for a small cost. four day forecast Freezing for a Cause: The brothers of Pi Kappa Phi support ger and better than all others.” Quadmania 2003 will also their national philanthropy by sitting on a scaffold for 24 hours. Headlining this year’s have a Beer Garden sponsored by Tuesday: sunny with a high of 81 and a low of 52. Quadmania will be Third Eye Blind. Bohagers. Students will be ALLISON HOUSEWORTH of the UMBC chapter will be Several other bands will be playing allowed to drink beer in the gar- Wednesday: partly cloudy with attending the Give-a-Push a high of 81 and a low of 47. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer throughout the day including Green den, and they must present ID weekend in Richmond, VA. Machine, Break:Urban Funk, Seven and Quadmania ticket. Thursday: scattered thunder- In efforts to support their Give-a-Push is held several Days Torn, John Stone Reggae Tickets for Quadmania are storms with a high of 59 and a weekends throughout the year low of 41. national philanthropy, PUSH Band, Superior Groove, Can’t Hang, $5 and are on sale at the America, UMBC’s Eta Phi and is geared towards the reno- The Players and Cupajo. To kick off Commons Information Desk and Friday: shower with a high of vation of camps to make them 50 and a low of 45. Chapter of Pi Kappa Phi the day, the Catonsville High School the event will be held rain or Fraternity has arranged several more accessible for handi- Steel Drum Band will perform. shine. Also, there will be a fundraising events for this capped children. Those who In addition to a wide-variety of Quadmania After-Party from spring. attend will participate in sever- music, Quadmania, sponsored by 10:00 p.m. -1:30 a.m. on Main This month five members see PI KAPPA PHI, page 6 SEB, will feature several other Street in the Commons. Page 2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS April 15, 2003

BehindtheScenes Dr. Piotr Gwiazda: Poetry and Polish Roots College News BRANDON DUDLEY were quiet at first when in a large group, April Fools’ Spoof Spurs Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff when they broke themselves into smaller School to Close Paper groups the discussion went on virtually non- Dr. Piotr Gwiazda sits behind his dark stop. While they did Gwiazda wandered brown and gray desk, a striking contrast to around the class listening to discussions and DELAND, Fla., April 11 (AP) — the white walls of the office. He constantly noting questions students were asking among Stetson University suspended publica- fidgets, playing with his sleeves or the col- themselves for a later exam. tion of its student newspaper and fired lar of his red-checked shirt or rolling back The thickness of his accent varies with the editorial staff because an April and forth in his chair, which occasionally the words he uses, a symptom of the twelve Fools’ Day issue included profanity, emits a harsh screech of metal against years he has spent in the U.S. after leaving his racist jokes and a sex column advocat- Joseph May / Retriever Weekly Staff metal. The 29 year old professor, who home country of Poland. He came with his ing rape and domestic violence. The Muse’s Gift: Dr. Piotr Gwiazda is received his Masters and Ph.D. at NYU, parents at the age of 17 because of the eco- The Reporter, founded in 1887 a teacher and a poet influenced by his has only been teaching at UMBC for a nomic downturn of the country. He lived in and billed as the state’s first college Polish heritage. semester and a half and seems to be quite the city of Olsztyn in a region famous for its newspaper, was closed on Wednesday reviewing books, and writing essays for satisfied with his time here so far. One of lakes and what Gwiazda described as being for the remainder of the school year. scholarly journals about poetry and other lit- the things that made Gwiazda choose to very beautiful, much of which attributed to Staff members said they were given 15 erary topics. He has had some of his work teach here after his year at the University of his love for the outdoors. minutes to clear their belongings out published and soon a poem of his will be Miami were the students. “I really got a Gwiazda left Poland while it was still of the office as the locks were being published in the Southern Review. The good vibe,” he says in an eastern European under Communist control; it has since changed. poem has the “illusion of autobiography” accent, his hands slicing and waving become a democracy, but Gwiazda has not The Reporter traditionally pokes because it about going back to the city through the air as he talks. Among the stu- returned since he left. “The Poland I lived in fun at the faculty, student groups and where he was born and seeing all the dents he met, he said, English majors espe- does not exist anymore. That Poland is gone,” itself with an April Fools’ edition changes that have occurred. Of his other cially, he was happy to see the amount of he says. As time passes he says “Poland renamed the Distorter. But school offi- works he says “I have a few that are better excitement and enthusiasm they had for becomes more and more a mystery to me.” cials say the students went too far this than others, some bad ones. Some of those what they were studying and was “For me and for a lot of people who are year. got published too,” he says with a laugh. A impressed with their seriousness. bilingual and bicultural….many of us have a “There’s not much in this year’s lot of his poems deal with politics, some This level of maturity and enthusiasm separation between childhood and adult Distorter that you can laugh about,” deal with his Polishness and still others are that Gwiazda deals with contributes to his life…for a lot of immigrants that rift is made said Michelle Espinosa, the dean of love poems or other topics. “Poetry is less a love for teaching, he says, and he looks for- even wider. In a way I feel like a double man; students. “We believe very strongly in profession,” he says,” it’s more of a way of ward to creating new classes to teach. One it’s very schizophrenic,” he adds with a laugh students’ need for autonomy. But the life; a way of looking at the world.” idea he is working on now is a class that and another wave of his hands. students do assume responsibility for deals with how America is perceived by the One of the major differences Gwiazda their editorial decisions.” rest of the world, especially when it comes noticed upon moving to the U.S. was the lack Quick Questions Inside the spoof issue, the Howard to literature. of a sense of community. “People live kind of Thurman lecture series — designed to “What I really like about teaching is separately in America,” he says. Another sur- What was the last book you read? promote racial dialogue — was sati- that you have an idea and you think about it prise was the contrast between economically rized with an article about a racist and plan it…and you have these 20 or 30 ruined Poland and the wealth evident in the Civil War enthusiast drinking beer at a “‘Homebody/Kabul’ by Tony wonderful minds who are willing to think U.S. “It was hard not to be surprised,” he said, podium. The weekly sex column was Kushner” and help you with it.” He enjoys this in one “I had heard a lot about American wealth. I written in Ebonics. And the phony of his current classes on politics and poetry. had heard about things like supermarkets, advertisements included one for a What is in your CD player right “I have 15 people to talk to about this idea. shopping malls and having cars at the age of spray that “Kills townies dead” and now? I learn from them and they learn from me.” 18.” In Poland, he said, it was not uncommon another featuring profanity in giant In class, Gwiazda is relaxed and rather for people to have to save until they were 50 block letters, “Because we are allowed confident, but rarely, if ever, states that there to be able to buy a car. “Darius Milhaud, ‘Creation du to print it,” it said. is a single interpretation of any of the works The poverty of the U.S was an even Monde’” “We pushed some buttons that his classes deal with. He spends much of the greater shock. On his first trip to New York may not have needed to be pushed,” time trying to elicit conversation instead of City he was surprised to see limousines and What is your favorite food? said sex columnist August Brown. lecturing. In a recent class he did not lecture expensive stores but still see homeless people Though no longer affiliated with at all, instead giving the structure of the on the streets. “Pecan pie.” the Florida Baptist Convention, class completely to the students and letting Now, besides teaching, Gwiazda spends Stetson is still considered a conserva- the direction of the class discussion be much of his time writing poetry of his own, tive school. Alcohol wasn’t allowed entirely student generated. While students on its DeLand and St. Petersburg campuses until 1995. The newspaper had been under A Successful Year for Golden Key pressure from administrators to tone down the content of recent editions. AMY SEGRETI Virginia, the UMBC chapter won including the annual Villa Maria After the April 1 edition, school offi- Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff regional awards for “Outstanding Halloween Party, Into the Streets, an cials said they were inundated with Community Service Program: Dr Seuss Oxfam Hunger Food Drive for Our calls and e-mails from upset alumni, At a recent Mid-Atlantic Regional Reading Days” (coordinated by Ladan Daily Bread in Baltimore, “Have a faculty and students. Conference, the UMBC Chapter of Fakory), “Outstanding Honorary Heart, Help the Homeless” balloon and Staffers said they were disap- Golden Key International Honor Society Members Recognition” (coordinated by candy fundraiser for a women and chil- pointed they were fired without warn- received four awards for their dedication Annabelle Dando), “Outstanding dren’s shelter, and the Fort McHenry ing and that even people who had no to scholarship, community service and Newsletter” (coordinated by Amy Restoration Project. They’ve also plant- say in the paper’s editorial content leadership. Larson), and chapter president, Jasmine ed seeds for Garden Harvest and partici- lost their jobs. This year Golden Key has had a McDonald won “Regional Leader of the pated in three Dr. Seuss Reading Days at “We’ve learned a lot in the last number of programs and initiatives that Year.” With four awards, UMBC Golden a hospital, shelter, and home for abused week as students and journalists,” include member recruitment, sophomore Key tied George Mason University with children. said fired editor in chief Teresa mentoring, honorary member recogni- the most awards. “Golden Key is truly proud to be a Schwarz. “I think that’s something tion, fundraising, social events, commu- “Of these programs, our most contributor to campus life and the suc- they’re overlooking.” nity service and an induction ceremony important initiatives have been our com- cess of our students,” said Rockwell. Administrators and student lead- in the spring. munity service programs,” said The conference took place over the ers will work to start a new student “Our chapter has done a wonderful Rockwell. Across the nation, Golden past weekend. On Friday night, every- newspaper in the fall, Espinosa said. job of collaborating with campus pro- Key organizations are required to com- one participated in ice-breakers so mem- Former staff members may reapply grams and other student organizations,” plete one service project per semester. bers could get to know students from the and will be considered, she said. said Cally Rockwell, Coordinator for “Our chapter has gone above and other chapters. On Saturday, members Student Organizations and Involvement. beyond this requirement,” Rockwell attended various workshops. “Cally and At the conference, which was held said. The chapter has coordinated two or at the University of Richmond in three services projects per month, see GOLDEN KEY, page 4 April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 3 SadbutTr ue am so disappointed in the I love Jewish Fishmongers for police accosted him at his home, he was Ireaders of this collegiate This Very Reason! planning his next foray into the local depart- publication…I got a total of ment stores. ONE response this week, a 2003—The small Jewish Skver sect of World News Hasidim (New Square, N.Y.) was energized in Crap… Isn’t it a Nice Mealtime new low for a fixture that March when a fishcutter in the sect (along Conversation Piece? Activist Shot in Gaza Declared could have the potential to with his Christian co-worker) swore they Brain Dead make many smile and get heard a 20-pound carp shout apocalyptic 2003—According to a Los Angeles free movies… Ah, well, your warnings in Hebrew. The co-worker thought paper’s profile section, biologist Gerry GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) - A 21- loss, kiddos. I suppose I will the carp was merely Satanic, but Zalmen Kuzyk recently came upon, in a remote area year-old British peace activist was critically Rosen, 57, said the fish’s soul was cautioning have to take out all the love- of the Yukon, an 8-foot-high, half-mile wounded Friday as he tried to get two chil- that the end is near, perhaps because of war in swath of what he learned was caribou drop- dren out of the line of fire in the Gaza Strip, ly TRW ladies instead of giv- Iraq. Although the news spread throughout the pings; since no caribou had been sighted in witnesses said. ing the tickets to you when community, the carp itself met an inglorious the area for over 100 years, Kuzyk conclud- Thomas Hurndall suffered a head you guess correctly… end when the co-worker butchered it and sold ed that it was a massive, centuries-old accu- injury and was declared brain dead after A hint for you, from me. it for gefilte fish. mulation that had been frozen but recently arriving at Rafah Hospital, said Dr. Ali Although it doesn’t really melted. And the Reuters news service Musa. Apparently Pretzels Don’t Do reported in February that Antarctica’s oldest Witnesses said Israeli troops firing apply this week, a way to the Trick… building has become largely unvisitable from a tank struck Hurndall as he other find out if a story is true or because it is being blocked in by droppings activists in a pro-Palestinian group not is to see if it has a lot of 2003—In March, former flight attendant from the area’s 100,000 Adelie penguins. approached an army position on the edge of measurable fact to it. IF so, Daniel Reed Cunningham was charged with a Gaza refugee camp. it is probably true, because slyly drugging the apple juice of a severely Mr. Rogers: Not the Innocent The Israeli army had no comment about Friday’s shooting but said it would making up statistics is rambunctious 19-month-old baby during a Man We Thought 2002 flight. The mother became suspicious investigate. tedious. Just a little step up Hurndall of Manchester, England, was after tasting the juice and so slipped some into 2003—An online news source often the second activist wounded in a week. A for my bueno audience. a container for later testing (which revealed reports on the vile, anti-homosexuality cru- third member of the group, the International Email me when you guess Xanax). sades of the indefatigable Rev. Fred Phelps Solidarity Movement, was killed a month which one is totally off-the- and his extended family. The latest: The clan ago while trying to stop an Israeli army bull- FREAKAZOID! What a plans to be in Pittsburgh on April 13 to pick- wall wrong. dozer. et several organizations that had been asso- [email protected] is Whacked-out Peeping Tom! Palestinians have long complained that ciated with the late Fred Rogers, whom the Israeli troops are using excessive force waiting for you. Phelpses believe led kids in “Mister Rogers’ 2003—Thanks to the testimony of a ruf- against civilians, and the mounting casual- Neighborhood” to feel that being gay was fled consumer at a shopping mall in Genese, ties among foreigners were expected to - Phil Watkins acceptable. Said one of Phelps’ daughters: WI, police were able to apprehend a man draw renewed attention to Israeli army prac- “This country has forgotten God and effec- accused of breaking into women’s dressing tices in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. tively flipped Him off, and Fred Rogers is in rooms to view them as they changed. The 47- Israel has said Palestinian gunmen part responsible.” (At a November demon- year old man had been drifting across the area often use civilians as shields and thus endan- stration, the Phelpses carried the sign, for over three months, posing as someone in ger them. “Thank God for Sept. 11,” an event which the dressing room’s husband, and then prying Friday’s incident began when about a they view as proof of God’s wrath.) open the door of a changing customer. When dozen members of the peace movement, including foreigners and Palestinians, walked toward Israeli tanks on the outskirts Retriever Weekly Staff Refuses to Submit of the Rafah refugee camp, near the border with Egypt, said Khalil Hamra, a photogra- pher on assignment for The Associated Testimony to SGA Election Board Press. The activists wanted to set up a protest tent on the road in an attempt to block incur- MALCOLM FURGOL This information was not restricted would still have printed the article and sions into the camp, said Hamra and Khalil Retriever Weekly Senior Writer and was available to the general public. do not wish to take anything back. Abdullah, a Palestinian who works with the A report to the Election Board “Getting a response like this means that group but who is not a member. As part of the investigation of alle- would require Dudley, Segreti and we are being read and that we have hit Along the way, the protesters were gations against SGA presidential candi- Hansen to reveal the source they used to on an important issue,” said Hansen. joined by several children, the witnesses date Phil Shockley, the Editor-in-Chief investigate the article. “I will not be Though Dudley does state that there said. When the group was about 200 yards of The Retriever Weekly, Brandon confirming or denying the source of the were mistakes made in the process of away from three tanks, soldiers opened fire Dudley, as well as New Editor Amy information. My source wanted to composing the article on both sides, from a tank-mounted machine gun, the wit- Segreti and staff writer Kaidye Hansen remain anonymous, so I will not answer mainly regarding miscommunications nesses said. have been asked to submit a detailed any questions about the person’s identi- on some of the quotes from current Hurndall and another foreign activist report of an article printed in last ty,” wrote Dudley in an e-mail inter- House Finance Committe Chair Kristin tried to get two children out of the line of week’s paper by the SGA Election view. Latham, he points out that the informa- fire, Hamra and Abdullah said. “Thomas Board. Dudley, who was the original con- tion presented was still correct. The (Hurndall) grabbed one of their hands and as The article, entitled “House Finance tact with the anonymous source that three felt that it was a matter that the soon as he did that a tank fired at him, hitting Committee Chair, Presidential tipped him off to the article, further campus needed to be informed of before him in the head,” Hamra said. Candidate Asked to Resign,” was writ- explained that if he were to give up the they voted. The photographer said the children ten by Segreti and Hansen. Presidential name of the anonymous informant no “I think some people felt that they were not throwing rocks at the troops and candidate Brian Swayne filed the com- other source in the future would trust were slighted, either in this instance or that he saw nothing that would have pro- plaint against Shockley on behalf of that he would keep their identity a in the past. To them I say, represent voked the troops. himself and his running mate and secret and he would then possibly never yourselves to the retriever, and you will Rafah has been a flashpoint of clashes alleged that the article was used by hear valuable information. Segreti also be represented to the campus,” said between Israeli troops and Palestinians. Shockley to defame his character and refuses to reveal the source. “If a source Hansen. A few blocks from where Friday’s sabotage his campaign. requests to not be named, I will always In response to inquiries regarding shooting occurred, American activist Rachel The election policy of the SGA honor that request,” she said. the board’s request that The Retriever Corrie, 23, was killed March 16 while trying defines defamation of character as Consequently, Dudley, Segreti and Weekly submit testimony, Christopher to stop an Israeli army bulldozer. “communicating information that the Hansen will not be testifying to the Walker, the chair of the Election Board, Witnesses said the bulldozer ran her communicator either knows to be false, Election Board. Furthermore, the three stated that the board could not comment over and then backed up. The army said the or upon reasonable efforts could know stress that they are under no obligation on ongoing proceedings. driver did not see her and that her death was to be false.” Dudley, Segreti and Hansen to give up sources or any other informa- Current SGA President Phil an accident. Corrie, a student in Olympia, assert that as far as they have been told tion. Shockley could also not comment on the Wash., was the first member of the group to Swayne was indeed asked to resign and Both Dudley and Segreti also state be killed in 30 months of fighting between consequently complied. that in light of the current situation they see RETRIEVER STAFF, page 8 Israelis and Palestinians. Page 4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS April 15, 2003 Campus Master Plan to Police Log Change UMBC Campus

KAIDYE HANSEN The Final CMP will be presented to the Motor Vehicle Theft key in the ignition to start the vehicle. campus on Sept 3, 2003, after which no Retriever Weekly Staff Writer When he could not get the key to turn he changes can be made. April 1, 2:51 p.m.; Commons Garage attempted to remove the key from the The UMBC Campus Master Plan is “a Professional Campus Planners Ayer Saint - A UMBC student reported that he ignition and the entire ignition came out. graphic timeline that describes where we have Gross have been hired to help with this parked his 1998 white Acura Integra on He also noticed that his steering column been, where we are, where we want to go and process, and have many questions they feel the fourth level of the Commons Garage was damaged. how we are going to get there. Where we want need to be answered in order to have a suc- and when he returned his vehicle missing. to go is informed by the social, academic and cessful CMP (Campus Master Plan). While The victim reported that his vehicle was Theft from Building institutional form of the campus and the histor- studying the campus for the past month, ASG equipped with several after market items. ical context of the time,” according to Mark have considered these questions, as well as the The total estimated loss value is $15,000. April 4, 4:22 p.m.; UC Commons - Demshak, Campus Architect. concerns raised by faculty and students at and A UMBC student reported the theft of Big changes are in store for UMBC in this since the past town hall meeting. Theft from Building an MP3 music player. The student latest master plan currently being put together Both Demshak as well as the ASG repre- states he left the player unattended for for presentation and approval by the board of sentatives urge students and faculty to take part April 2, 12:33 p.m.; RAC Center - A 30 minutes and when he returned found regents in March 2004. in the CMP Process.“Please participate, we UMBC student reported the theft of his the MP3 missing. During the second town hall meeting in need your help to make this a realistic plan,” wallet from an unsecured locker in the the Cabaret, the discussion was intense, with urges Luanne Greene, of ASG. men’s locker room. Destruction of Property suggestions and comments coming in from all The biggest concerns which ASG have walks of life around UMBC. One UMBC noticed include the entry sequences from Theft from Building April 6, 1:00 p.m.; Poplar Ave. - A Student, sophomore Kelly Chaika, requested 195 and Wilkens, the traffic and parking on UMBC student reported damage to the more lighting and better crosswalks. A resident the loop, and making the general public April 2, 12:51 p.m.; Fieldhouse - A driver’s side mirror of her father’s car of Arbutus complained about how the lighting aware of UMBC. Luanne Green of ASG UMBC student reported the theft of her that was parked on Poplar Ave. outside on the turf stadium interfered with his sleeping. stated that, “It is a whole other world out- check card and checks from an unsecured Patapsco Hall. A business owner of Catonsville made it side of the loop. Also, the loop does not locker in the women’s locker room. known that she and others in her community have a pedestrian scale to it, how can we Theft from Building are interested in working with UMBC to create change this?” Theft from Building a campus town area between Wilkens Ave. and Suggestions and questions can be April 6, 9:26 p.m.; Commons - A Hilltop Circle, complete with eateries, clean- directed to [email protected], or April 2, 6:47 p.m.; Fine Arts Bldg. - UMBC student reported the theft of her ers, hair salons and other businesses. A resident addressed at the next town hall meeting A UMBC student reported that he saw an wallet while she was eating at the student said that he and his friends hope for concerning the CMP, April 14th, in the individual putting his wallet back in his Commons. The student stated that she some outdoor basketball courts and 24-hour commons. For more information please bag. When he confronted the individual, only left her wallet unattended to go get facilities. visit www.umbc.edu/campusplan. the individual told him he thought that the condiments for her food. Later she dis- bag was someone else’s. This potential covered that her wallet was missing. Sabotage Cited in Appeal suspect is described as: Male/White, pos- sibly of Middle East decent, approx. 5’ 8” Theft from Building from SGA, page 1 in height, approx. 155 lbs. in weight. “I will not be confirming or denying any- Weekly into running the article, Editor-in- Appeared to be in late teens to early one as my source,” Dudley said. “Nor will I be April 7, 1:59 p.m.; Retriever Chief Brandon Dudley stated “The article was twenties as to age, light complexion, confirming or denying their status within the Activity Center - A UMBC student run because I felt that UMBC students had a clean shaven, with well groomed hair but SGA.” reported the theft of his credit card and right to know about anything of that nature not cut close. The suspect was wearing Shockley was unable to comment on the cash from the RAC. The student stated before they voted in the election. The decision round lens, wire framed glasses. Was allegations or the appeal. that he placed his belongings in an was mine and mine alone.” wearing crew-neck-type sweatshirt, green Dudley has since been requested to give unsecured locker in the men’s locker Dudley also stated that the article and white in color and light or per washed written testimony to the Election Board, along room. appeared in the first possible issue. The inci- blue jeans. with news editor Amy Segreti and staff writer dent occured March 21 and Spring Break and Kaidye Hansen. Theft from Building Motor Vehicle Theft – the April Fool’s issue would have prevented it In the article, House Finance Committee from being run at any earlier date. Chair Kristen Latham verified some of the Attempted April 7, 5:15 p.m.; Commons - A Swayne, the former House Finance unnamed source’s information through several UMBC student reported the theft of her Committee chair, was asked to step down from direct quotes. Latham, who has also been sum- April 2, 7:49 p.m.; Commons Garage textbook from the Commons. The stu- his position on March 21 amid allegations of moned to testify in the event of a hearing, was - A UMBC student reported the attempt- dent stated that she left her textbook on unfair practices regarding House budget hear- unable to comment. ed theft of his vehicle. The student stated an ATM machine and when she later ings. Although the allegations have since been Coordinator for Leadership and that he returned to his vehicle and put the returned to get it, it was gone. resolved in the House and have been attributed Development Barbara Little, who served as the to miscommunications, Swayne said in the advisor to the election board, recused herself previous article, “Rather than fight the issue, I from the board because of involvement with Golden Key Receives Awards, willingly stepped down without providing a the House Finance Committee during inci- defense for myself because I knew it was the dents involved within the appeal. Lee responsible thing to do and the best way to Hawthorne, the Assistant Director of Major Praise for Another Year serve the committee.” Events and Programs, will step up as the new Parts of the article were attributed to advisor to the election board during the appeal. from GOLDEN KEY, page 2 “contacts in the SGA,” who Swayne, in his The results of the election will not be offi- carpet for all of us to make a dazzling allegations, believes to be Shockley. cial until the appeal is resolved. I led a workshop on how to incorporate entrance and there were wonderful dec- community service into all of the chap- orations set up in the banquet hall.” A ter’s activities,” said Chinedu Onyedike, University of Richmond acappella group vice president for Keys to Success. All called Corduroy sang for while some those who participated in this workshop conference participants danced. “The decorated small brown paper bags with food was absolutely delicious,” school supplies inside which will later Onyedike noted. be donated to a local elementary school. “We had an excellent time and met “The workshops were extremely helpful several wonderful people. It made us all on preparing all of us students for our excited to continue our work with our desired futures,” said Onyediki. Golden Key chapter,” said Onyedike. “The banquet we attended was spec- tacular,” said Onyedike. “We had a red

Write for News! Get free candy! Alex Czisny / Retriever Weekly Staff Teeter-totter Girls: The women of Phi Mu see-saw for twenty- x 51260, [email protected] four hours outside of the Commons to raise money for charity. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 5 Page 6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS April 15, 2003 Habitat for Humanity New Group Created to Struggles to Raise Awareness Bring Students Together

JOE HOWLEY people who are different... [they don’t] real- Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff ly get to know them as human beings.” Motkin said that he has been working A UMBC graduate student has started a on the project for a while, but was spurred new student group, Bridges Disability and to action following the heated response to Multicultural Discussion Group, to focus on R. Eric Thomas’ satirical piece “From issues of diversity among the student body. Books to Bondage,” about Black History Tsion Motkin, a member of UMBC’s Month, which was published in The graduate program in education, is from Retriever Weekly in early March. “There are California and holds Master’s degrees in a lot of tensions that seem to exist on our sociology and anthropology. He started the campus that probably exist on other cam- group with the intention of addressing a puses, but because of the diversity here, problem that he sees of social segregation in they tend to come out in other ways,” said the campus community. “A lot of time, as Motkin. “When an article like that comes relatively diverse as UMBC is, people tend out, it just triggers a huge response.” to stick to people that they may know from Motkin said he was not responding to before, or they may unfortunately cling to the piece itself, but rather to the atmosphere people who are similar to them,” Motkin that he saw arise as a result of it. “People are said. “That means they don’t get to know see GROUP BRIDGES, page 8 Pi Kappa Phi Brothers Dedicated to Helping

from PI KAPPA PHI, page 1 member of Pi Kappa Phi is extremely al projects such as the renovation of dedicated to supporting Push America. Alex Czisny / Retriever Weekly Staff playgrounds, piers and boardwalks. It is Sophomore member, Peri states, “Push Sleeping out To Raise Awareness: Megan Smell of UMBC Habiat for Humanity a hands-on service project where the America was one of the main reasons I participates in a Habitat event to inform the UMBC community of the urgent social brothers will not only volunteer their pledged Pi Kappa Phi.” problems of poverty and homelessness. time and labor but also interact with the In addition to the service they will children they will be helping. be providing at Give-a-Push, the broth- KARL STRAUSS Quadmania. Habitat for Humanity has also Sophomore Alex Peri, about being ers of Pi Kappa Phi have planned two able to attend this month’s Give-a-Push other fundraisers for this spring. Later Retriever Weekly Staff Writer started a new program this year called Winter Bash, a fundraising concert event. weekend says, “We’re going to this this month they will be having a 24-hour UMBC’s Habitat for Humanity Last semester UMBC’s Chapter cospon- camp not only to help renovate it for wheelchair sit and in May they will be Chapter sponsored a weeklong series of sored a week of events with Oxfam con- these kids, but to give back something having a 24-hour scaffold sit. Both will events on campus aimed at raising aware- cerning poverty on a global level. good and honest to the kids who deserve be located outside by the Commons and ness about poverty and homelessness in the The main overall objective of Habitat a safe place to be and play. It’s all about will be held to raise money for Push United States. for Humanity is to build affordable, giving back after having so much.” America. “We wanted to spread the word about decent housing for low-income house- Pi Kappa Phi has more members Dave Spencer, a member of the Eta the Habitat chapter on campus, raise money holds. However, contrary to what some than any other fraternity at UMBC and Phi Chapter of Pi Kappa Phi says he got and ceate general discourse about the issue may believe, the recipients of these hous- is the only fraternity with its own involved with his fraternity and commu- of poverty, affordable housing and home- es don’t get a free ride, according to national philanthropy. Push America is a nity service because he wanted, “to give lessness in the US,” said Hieu Truong, the Truong. “In order to be approved for the non-profit organization that was found- something to people less fortunate than chapter’s Publicity and Networking Head. homes, they must apply for them, and ed in 1977. Its mission is geared towards me and serve a greater goal. Alone I may The organization’s Events Week then put in ‘sweat equity’ (labor) into the building leaders, instilling the values of not be able to overcome this problem, included a Sell-A-Brick Fundraiser, a Bake construction of the house.” The low- service in its fraternity members and but together, brothers of Pi Kappa Phi Sale and a Speaker Event featuring Dr. income families will also have mortgages serving people with disabilities. Every are helping in a major way.” Meyers of the Political Science Department to pay; however, those mortgages are pro- as well as Esther Reaves, director of Manna vided interest free. House, Inc. Manna House is a non-profit UMBC’s Habitat for Humanity organization that provides services to the Chapter started in 1991. It is free of poor and homeless, particularly those with charge to any student who wishes to join. HIV, through a soup kitchen, transitional The program’s advisor is Norma Green, a housing, and health education. member of the UMBC administration. Besides sponsoring the past week’s Habitat for Humanity will have mem- projects and events, the chapter does many bers stationed at a table during other things throughout the school year. Quadmania weekend during their sleep According to Truong, the group is involved out event, which will occur from 7 p.m. to in the Student Involvement Fest along with 10 a.m.

Tired of getting wake-up calls by unwanted solicitors?

The Retriever Weekly is looking into students receiving unwanted solicitations via campus mail or phones, specifically regarding a mag- azine subscription service offering subscribers entry into a drawing for cash prizes. Please contact Malcolm Furgol at Galen Zook / Retriever Weekly Staff [email protected]. Options for the Future: Students consult a representative at the Multi- Ethnic Job Fair on April 9. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 7 Page 8 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS April 15, 2003

New Group Designed to SGA Election Board Pull Students Together Requests Written Testimony

from GROUP BRIDGES, page 6 schools. “Many of the schools seem to have from Retriever Staff going to take it seriously, because it is such this quality of racial segregation,” he said. a sensitive issue,” he said. “This doesn’t Bridges also seeks to address dis- from RETRIEVER STAFF, page 3 crimination against the handicapped and mean that [the newspaper] shouldn’t print situation, as he has been told not to do so Student Press Law Center, a national non- disabled, which Motkin sees as a less something like that kind of article, I’m just by the Election Board. profit organization whose goal is to give visible problem. “Often people who saying, watch out.” If the Election Board attempts to force free legal advice and representation to struggle with disability struggle in some- Along with other students, Motkin has Dudley, Segreti or Hansen to comply with student journalists, confirmed Corbett’s what of a more invisible context,” he held several preliminary meetings for their request it is unlikely they will be suc- statement. said. “I saw that throughout the state of Bridges and the group has recently turned in cessful. Journalists in Maryland are pro- According to James Keat, a former Maryland this is a problem.” a constitution and other paperwork to the tected by the ‘Shield Law,’ which allows Baltimore Sun reporter, assistant manag- The goal of the group is one of sim- SGA for official recognition as a club. them to restrain from revealing a source in ing editor and editorial page coordinator, ply providing an open forum, Motkin Motkin explained that when he first court. “The staff members cannot legally be explained. “What I really want is a place came to Maryland, he was shocked by what Christopher Corbett, the faculty made to testify.” Keat followed that, where people from diverse backgrounds he perceived as segregation in the state’s adviser to The Retriever Weekly said in a “Absolutely the principle and possibly the can come together and talk and get to schools. “I walked onto the Salisbury cam- phone interview that, “I do not believe law indicate that they are not required to know one another,” he said. pus, and it just struck me initially how little The Retriever Weekly has any obligation testify, since they promised their source The name of the group, Bridges, diversity there was,” he said. “It was strik- to cooperate with the SGA Election anonymity they are ethically forbidden to comes from a similarly named organiza- ing; it was mostly white.” Board.” He went on to say, “The board has do it.” tion where Motkin used to live in Diversity was more evident in Los no subpoena power and therefore cannot He followed it by saying he could California, which also organized com- Angeles, Motkin said. “Most of the cam- demand the testimony of Retriever Weekly “not see how an SGA Election Board munity events to cross cultural bound- puses I’ve attended have been relatively staff.” could make them testify since a Maryland aries. diverse.” Mike Hiestand, a lawyer with The court could not do so.” The University of Maryland, Eastern Bridges hopes to hold its first event, Shore, which Motkin described as “95% an ice cream social, in the Commons at black” was his next stop. To Motkin, the the end of April or beginning of May. contrast of these two schools has come to Anyone interested in joining the group exemplify the situation in Maryland can contact Motkin at [email protected].

Don’t think you really had a “stomach virus” when you went to University Health Services?

The Retriever Weekly is eager to hear any student concerns regarding current or past problems with diagnoses they received at UHS. Note: If for any reason you wish to be anonymous, your wish will be honored. Please contact Malcolm Furgol at [email protected].

April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 9

Going to the movies and a boon for Hollywood, bust for the Public 11

Rejuvenating the campus an attainable dream 12

SGA elections quite a laugh; why bother? 14 Opinion War continues to be on students’ minds 16

Letters to the Editor Traffic Headaches Commonplace at UMBC Dear Editor, Every day at about five o’clock, there is a terrible backup from I-195 to Hilltop Circle. At this time, the vast majority of You should be ashamed of yourself for allowing something so offensive to be off campus students that take evening classes arrive on the cam- printed in your magazine. I will never read you paper again. In my opinion, not one pus. The backup generally extends well onto I-195 and occa- single African American should support your paper. It’s appauling and extremely sionally goes as far back as the ramp off of I-95. The principle offensive. You should be ashamed of yourself. First of all, Black History goes far culprit is the stop sign at the research park. Even though there beyond two or three hundred years. If every day we learned about one African is little to no reason for such a stop sign at that hour, it creates American who has been hurt in some way, shape, or form by white people, that massive delays daily. Once (and maybe more often) a UMBC could take us years. Black History involves more than Martin Luther King, Harriett police officer was at the intersection directing traffic. He did a Tubman, and the like. There are so many gruesome and shocking untold stories. good job, and things moved smoothly. However, the already One month a year just doesn’t cut it. Black History is about overcoming obstacles understaffed police department should not have to do this on a and rising in the face of adversity. So, I don’t need white america to tell me when daily basis. Instead, it would benefit everyone involved to sim- to learn about my history. Everymonth is Black History Month in my book. ply make the stop sign only in effect during business hours. Unfortunately a lot of our black children aren’t taught enough about our history. With the abundance of nighttime students living off campus, the They are constantly bombarded with American history, which is my absolute least university should take that into consideration and adjust traffic favorite subject. People like you would like our children to learn about this war, controls accordingly. The road from I-195 to Hilltop Circle is and that war, and battles on little hills. Our children are taught about how America the primary access point for many UMBC students and should came to be discovered, how the constitution was signed, etc. That’s interesting, be made so that it has priority over the others streets in its area. considering that the same people who wrote the Constitution that says that all men Ideally, there should be no stoppage of traffic flow at this point are equal, considered African Americans inferior. This same constitution had to be for vehicles trying to get on campus. As the university contin- amended just to give our people the same rights that white americas have always ues to grow, they should consider changing traffic trends. had. To this very day, African Americans still don’t have equality in this country. There’s no longer a need for long robes and white hoods. Now, it’s racist pigs like you that serve at politicians, judges, jurors, doctors, lawyers, police officers, corpo- rate business owners, and sad to say, writers who publish and teach such hurtful propaganda. It’s people like you that make this society the way it is today. You Stair-Steppers Suck, Bring in have taken freedom of speech entirely too far. Shame on you, The Retriever, and the University of Maryland! the Treadmills!

Katherine Carter We at TRW sometimes head to the RAC, ready to burn some calories on the elliptical or treadmill. Low and behold, there is a line of at least three people tapping their foot stand- ing next to the treadmills, and one girl sitting cross-legged on the floor is falling asleep on her History book. As for the stair- steppers? I must avoid going near them because the dust might attach itself to my exercise attire. The hunks of machinery that take up space amidst the The Retriever Weekly staff edi- much-used treadmills, ellipticals and even bicycles simply have to go. No one uses the stair-steppers! No one! We at the

E torials reflect the views of the edito- ETRIEVER rial board; signed columns and Retriever Weekly (especially us girls who are trying desperate- H advertisements represent the opin- ly to maintain that ‘hot newspaper chick’ image) would seri- T WEEKLY ions of the individual writers and ously like to suggest to the RAC to please move out at least EditorR in Chief ...... Brandon Dudley advertisers, respectively, and do not three of these machines-from-hell. Between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. Managing Editor ...... Brett McKenzie on weekdays, one needs to literally hop over the mass of peo- Business Manager ...... James Omotosho necessarily reflect those of The ple waiting for said treadmills and ellipticals in order to get to Advertising Manager...... Danny Bhatti Retriever Weekly or the University the aerobics room. News Editor ...... Amy Segreti of Maryland Baltimore County. Assistant News Editor...... Joseph Howley Letters to the Editor are printed Stairs bring mankind great displeasure – why do you think Opinion Editor ...... Phil Watkins verbatim, although the editors the elevator was invented and so frequently used? People hate Assistant Opinion Editor ...... Samantha Hinds reserve the right to edit any letter stairs. Especially college students. Please make the world a bet- Features Editor ...... Jenn Gibson deemed lengthy, repetitive, libelous ter place and advocate the use of treadmills and ellipticals and Assistant Features Editor ...... R. Eric Thomas or otherwise in need of revision. ban stair-steppers from existence. Thank you. Sports Editor ...... John France The editors further reserve the right Assistant Sports Editor ...... Nick Chrest not to print any letter for any rea- Assistant Sports Editor...... Andrew Chaney son. Letters to the Editor must be Copy Editor ...... Sharon P. Cottingham typed or written legibly and include Copy Editor ...... Kelly Woodring the author’s name and telephone Photography Editor ...... Alex Czisny number. Letters must be received Assistant Photography Editor ...... Lakin Jones by 12 p.m. on Thursday and may Production Manager ...... James Hamilton not exceed 400 words. Production Assistant...... Wai-loon Chan The Retriever Weekly publishes Production Assistant ...... Brooke Summers weekly on Tuesdays during the reg- Production Assistant...... Kudirat Badru ular school year. Editors can be Production Assistant...... Vasanthi Abraham Technology Manager ...... Ray Shaw reached at (410) 455-1260 during Webmaster ...... Rick Carback normal business hours or at Circulation Manager...... Adam Driscoll University Center 214; 1000 Faculty Adviser ...... Chris Corbett Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, Administrative Adviser...... Dr. Patty Perillo MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly Check us out online:trw.umbc.edu is an equal opportunity employer. Page 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION April 15, 2003 Co-Ed Dorm Rooms Are an Answer to Housing Dilemmas

that sharing a room with a friend of the my guy friend’s potentially miser- BRETT MCKENZIE & opposite sex would be easier. Best friends able situation next fall, and my girl- PHIL WATKINS who just happen to be guy-girl would be friends and I won’t be forced to Prior to the 1960’s, co-ed dormitories able to bunk together, foreign exchange choose between each other. were unheard of. Women had dorm moth- students from the same country could feel Ideally, university co-ed housing ers and were forced to entertain their male more comfortable living together, and, God would apply solely to certain build- visitors with their bedroom doors open. forbid, brother and sister could keep tabs ings, preferably single room suites or There were curfews and lights out and on each other by living in the same set of several designated apartments. This highly restrictive visiting rooms. way, the privacies of each room- hours… certainly no overnight A good guy mate would be respected and some guests. friend of mine is in of the sexual tension would be alle- That was then, and this is desperate need of viated. now. Point three male room- Furthermore, this would erase When I arrived at UMBC, mates. His current the problem of discriminating my mom was shocked that my roomies are all grad- against students who choose to Christina Han /Retriever Weekly Staff next door neighbors in good ol’ Potomac uating in the spring and his other guy marry while in college. At UMBC, Making Things Interesting: Co-ed accoma- Hall were guys. I was delighted. I was even friends all have prior living arrangements. if a student who lives on-campus dations will spice up college life and appease more delighted that, short of signing visi- He wants to live in the decides to those seeking opposite sex roommates. tors in and out, my friends could come and apartments, but doesn’t marry, their sig- go in my room as they pleased. want to be plopped in “Thanks to co-ed nificant other stipend for their trouble. That means that Who doesn’t love sharing their narrow, with three strangers may not move in with they lose about $7,000 dollars of money extra-long twin beds with the one they love? who he has no idea dormitories and them, even in the apart- that they earned, all because they wanted to No one. Thanks to co-ed dormitories and whether or not he will non-religiously affil- ments. So, this unfortu- live with their spouse. non-religiously affiliated universities, you get along with. nate student must then Overall, the whole idea of full co-ed can spend the night with your significant Meanwhile, my two iated universities, pack up and move off- housing, even in a limited scope, is a damn other, so long as your roommate complies. female friends and I are campus, losing the con- good one. Students across the board will But what if your roommate doesn’t in desperate search for a you can spend the venience and afford- feel better accommodated, administrators care to spend the night in the common fourth roommate for the night with your sig- ability of dorm life and would spend less time splitting hairs over room whenever you want to get some ass? apartments. Reslife has possibly even losing a housing contract woes, and those Wills and What if he can’t stand that your girlfriend implemented a rule for- nificant other, so major source of Graces out there will finally be able to live sleeps over four out of five nights a week bidding groups of three income—their scholar- in non-marital bliss forever more (or at least and hogs the shower every morning? to live in the apartments long as your room- ship to live in on-cam- until they graduate). In situations like these and others, co- together because it mate complies.” pus housing. If a stu- ed roommates might resolve the dilemmas. could make a fourth dent on a full ride or Brett McKenzie is the managing editor Some couples come to college already “loner” roommate feel “scholars” scholarship, of The Retriever Weekly, and Phil Watkins is engaged to be married and feel that they uncomfortable or left out. How easy would such as the Linehan or the Humanities’ the opinion editor. She may be reached at should be able to live together in pre-mari- it be for the four of us, three girls and one Scholars programs, wants to live off cam- [email protected], whilst he tal bless. Other students simply can’t stand guy, all friends, to share an apartment? This pus, their housing money is rescinded and may be alerted of comments at living with people of the same sex and feel way, Reslife is spared the task of remedying they receive only a small transportation [email protected]. We Need Co-ed Rooms Like Another Budget Cut

GRANT HUANG females, and vice versa. This isn’t a matter when school starts. If students The mission of this university, like any of coincidence – there are differences both who live together have a relation- other higher-education institution, is to pro- physical and emotional that can’t be ship and then break up, it will vide education in an active social environ- ignored, not to mention obvious privacy obviously become nigh-impossi- ment that encourages and embraces diverse issues. Imagine two girls and two guys in a ble for them to continue living in social interaction and tolerance of different quad who have never met before. Male con- the same dorm room, while room ideas and peoples. To this end, there were versation invariably strays to the subject of changes are an inconvenience to coed dorms first by building, then by hall, the other sex and sex in general, often with every party involved. and now in some universities, by room. This bawdy language and a level of explicitness Implementing coed dorms by last and most recent step is that most females room won’t be an easy task for also the most debatable. There “In the absence would not tolerate on a Residential Life, either. Surveys are numerous objections: daily basis – and this will need to be conducted to ascer- tain how many buildings will be some may raise moral con- of student type of conversation Anita Field /Retriever Weekly Staff cerns, some may worry about rarely fails to occur on co-ed by room, or if only one Happy As They Are: Significant others see no the psychological and/or interest, room- a daily basis. Let’s face building will be, or if only certain need for the hassle that co-ed housing will bring. social impact on students who based coed it: sex is a major topic halls in a building will be. This request but are unprepared to of discussion for col- brings up perhaps the most impor- on student request, through their respective live in close proximity with housing is ask- lege students of both tant issue: student interest. Students here SGAs and, no doubt, numerous petitions. In those of the opposite gender. genders since every- worry about the rising tuition costs, they the absence of such student interest, I’m left In the instance of UMBC, still ing too much of one at this age tends to worry about the quality of the classes they asking myself, “Are these dorms really nec- others may raise more practi- a cash-strapped be preoccupied with it. will attend in future semesters; many are essary? Do the costs outweigh the benefits?” cal concerns dealing with the Just as clearly, males upset about the budget cuts and everyone on Caught in a nationwide economic downturn reluctance the university university.” tend to speak more campus has some sort of opinion on the gov- amidst sharp budget cuts, UMBC has been administration would have in freely about this ernment’s handling of the war in Iraq. forced to resort to increasing tuition costs, adopting such housing poli- important, interesting Where among all these concerns is the placing faculty members on furlough, and cies when they have numerous other, more topic with other males than with females tremendous, active student demand for generally making efforts across all depart- pressing issues to attend. and vice versa. This sort of restraint on con- room-based coed housing? Has it somehow ments to cut spending and maximize finan- Very often, even people who are dating versation between roommates of the oppo- cial efficiency. aren’t prepared to live together. Statistics site gender will inevitably lead to social These circum- show that “moving in” often leads to awkwardness; further, the need to limit cer- stances, coupled breakups – in fact, many researchers see it as tain touchy issues between roommates will with the distinct being a test of the strength of relationships. serve to isolate rather than unify. Counterpoint lack of a general Obviously people can and do have friends of If such coed dorms were an available student outcry for the opposite gender that are “just friends,” option for students when they sign up for escaped my notice, perhaps covered by anti- coed dorm rooms, make the case against but if you live with roommates of the oppo- on-campus residence, a sizeable number war posters or hidden behind the vast, flut- them a compelling one. site gender, sexual tension is unavoidable. will choose them with specific roommates tering tablecloth shrouding the infamous “Just friends” is just that – you don’t live in mind – couples that are dating would be “LaRouche” table? Yale is an example of a Grant Huang is a writer for the Opinion with them on a day-to-day basis. among them, for example. However, the college that proudly advertises coed dorm section of The Retriever Weekly. He may be Generally, males make friends with majority that opt for coed dorms will be rooms and Swarthmore is another; both contacted via email at males faster and more easily than with meeting their roommates for the first time schools provide this type of housing based [email protected]. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 11 Boycott Movies: Dollars For Serviceworkers, Not Starlets

JENNIFER STITELY median income of full-time workers in services in our society, whereas many American public is what in effect pays As an occasional magazine reader, I America in 2002 was $35,788, which is Hollywood stars earn double or even the celebrity’s salaries; if we didn’t go recently came across an article in disgraceful considering Ray Romano of triple the amount for a smaller job. Jeri to the movies or baseball games, then “People” about stars and their outra- “Everybody Loves Raymond” earns just Ryan, an actress who plays a high the stars would not make a living. We geous salaries. I am aware that profes- shy of that amount for 22 minutes of school teacher on “Boston Public,” can in fact live without entertainment, sional sports players and movie stars prime time TV every week. earns $45,000 an episode while an actu- but we can’t get by without the protec- earn much more money than some of us An average family today consists of al Boston public high school teacher tion that police, firemen, and the leader- will ever imagine, but I never realized to two adults and two children, generally earns around $46,000 a year. A police ship of the President provide us. what extent that income difference was. with both parents working full-time jobs officer in Anne Arundel County Especially at times like this of height- According to that particular article, just to pay for a mortgage and other liv- Maryland only makes about $35,000 ened security and war in Iraq, the indi- George Clooney and Reese Witherspoon ing expenses. Celebrity relationships and a secret service officer for the White viduals who really work and provide each receive $15 million per movie, and marriages statistically don’t last House makes around $38,000 a year, valuable services should be rewarded. Tom Cruise gets $25 million per movie, long enough to have and raise a family. which is simply chump change to Public service workers should receive a and the cast of Friends gets $1million The typical celebrity lives a more care- Britney Spears and her $39 million in salary increase and more recognition for per episode. Oprah Winfrey reeled in a free life, and with more of their income just 2002. Our president is even out- their services, as they genuinely “work whopping $150 million just last year going toward expensive clothes, cars, shined by the stars; he makes $400,000 for their money,” and we should boycott and lives it up in her luxurious $50 mil- and houses. This concept bothers me a year, and Martin Sheen gets $300,000 the movies and professional sporting lion home. because, in my opinion, the normal to play President Bartlet on an hour of events for awhile just to show the stars The average American works a full American with a family works harder “The West Wing.” who really matters. time job, 40 hours a week all year round; for a lower salary than a celebrity earns We as a society must decide who is Jennifer Stitely is a guest writer for much more than the typical movie star for just providing social entertainment. more important in our lives, policemen, The Retriever Weekly. She may be who generally works on a movie set for There are several types of people firemen, and teachers, or well-known reached for comment at just a few consecutive months. The who are not paid nearly enough for their celebrities on the big screen. The [email protected].

Quotes from the Quad What is your favorite Quadmania memory? photos by Anita Field

Jess Saini, 20 Safia Ghanim, 19 Junior, Psycholgy/Biology Sophomore, Psychology “I broke up a fight.” “The Busta Rhymes con- cert and going out with my Josef Novotny, 21 friends afterwards.” Junior, Film “We always miss it because of our tennis tournament. They should push it back a week. However, we do make it to the after parties.” Hieu Truong, 19 Sophomore, American Studies “When I was 10 I came with my sis- ter. I was playing a game and lost, but they gave me a stuffed animal because they felt sorry for me.”

Patrick Massey, 20 Junior, Biology “My brother shaved a mohawk in my hair.” Page 12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION April 15, 2003 Let’s Have The Greenbacks To Support The Central Green the Central Green. ADAM HOPKINS In fact, let’s talk about the plans for By now, everyone here at UMBC should Central Green. Erickson Field will be rotated know about the Master Plan and the most at a 90-degree angle from how it is now, so recent proposal for the Central Green. that opposing teams will defend the sides fac- Arboreally, it will be beautiful: Trees all ing Erickson Hall and the Commons. The around the Central Green, complete with new Field will also be resoiled and the big, chunky pathways, columns, and a reshaping of rocks all removed, making it safer and not as Erickson Field. All of this to accompany what vulnerable to the wear and tear of athletic play. will be happening soon with the recently While recreational play will probably be off bought property by Wilkins Avenue. The only limits for a semester, there are plenty of places things missing are some of those rectangular- around campus to practice and play. There is shaped leaflets of paper that have portraits of some open grass on the hills by the apartments America’s Founding Fathers on them. UMBC and even down around Parking Lot 17—none needs them, and lots of them. of these are perfect, but you want the rocks We deserve to have those dollar bills. removed from Erickson Field and fresher It is true that revamping the Central grass there, don’t you? Green could be an inconvenience, at least for Plus, we all need to consider the need for a semester or so. But the long-term positives handicap accessibility. The new plan for Reluctant Hawk: Being Pro- cannot be outweighed. In spite of the state Central Green calls for some new walkways to deficit and budget cuts—perhaps because of be built that will zig-zag in front of the Albin War on an Anti-War Campus them—now is actually a good time to plan for O. Kuhn Library and lead to the Field without the future. UMBC can prepare itself for prior- having to worry about the stairway. Too often ities that will be achieved when the dollars UMBC has not provided accessible avenues AMBER SAMPSON home to their families. come rolling back from the Maryland state for people in wheelchairs or other equipment; It shouldn’t take much to recognize that Please understand that we are not just government. For now, it is a shame that the I for one am glad that the Master Plan is this campus has been, as a whole, anti-war. choosing the rose-colored glasses of lawmakers in Annapolis decided that cuts to changing to embrace those members of the At one point it seemed there were protests American propaganda. We can not—and do the University of Maryland system were nec- community. twice a week, sponsored by organizations not choose to—ignore the ugly reality of essary to end the state deficit. I encourage Additionally, we need to remember that from the Muslim Students Association to war; it keeps us up at night. We recognize each member of this University’s community the Master Plan has also been responsible for the UMBC Green Party. There have been the negative consequences of our nation’s to petition your representatives in the the new Public Policy building, as well as numerous demonstrations, readings, discus- actions, but we see the consequences of Maryland General Assembly and ask why past and future expansion of the Retriever sions, and “Retriever” articles, not to men- inaction as greater. more cuts were made—and not to make the Activity Center. After all of the attention that tion patches, door signs, and arm bands. Mark my words: the stakes are high for same mistake next year. these two buildings, as well as the Not everyone here is against military us, arguably higher than for any other voice In the meantime, UMBC is very fortu- Engineering building, have received, it is only intervention in Iraq, but you are much less in the war debate. The wary war-supporters nate to have some other people on its side. A fitting that UMBC take a step back and bal- likely to hear from them; I wouldn’t be sur- see that military intervention was necessary lot of private citizens, including a certain Mr. ance out the new technology and athletic prised if I was the only public voice of sup- to free the world from Saddam’s regime, but John Erickson, have been kind enough to compounds with a green touch of nature. port to be found on this campus. “Why is know that war and aftermath are not pre- make some donations to the University in Otherwise, UMBC will just be brick and that?” those of the protest movement ask. dictable sciences. When some Iraqis felt not hopes of easing its financial woes and to help more brick, and not the vivacious place that “If they support this war, why don’t they the relief of liberation but the resentment of the Master Plan keep on keeping on. Plus, the we like to tell outsiders that it is. show it?” There is an explanation for this, invasion, we bore the brunt of that resent- people who owned the property around The next chapter of UMBC’s history is besides the fact that being a “warmonger” is ment; we felt it like a spear in our sides. If Wilkins Avenue sold UMBC their property for on the drawing boards, ready to be birthed. not a lovable, popular thing to do on a col- dismal projections of internal strife and a lot less that what they could have received My personal regret is that, since I am graduat- lege campus. destruction are realized, we will live with out on the open market. While those generous ing this semester, I will not be around to see I can not speak for all war-supporters— the guilt and accusation. people may not make the difference in stop- the revamped Central Green in full bloom. especially the moral-interventionist camp, And perhaps the most pressing concern ping any future budget cuts, they should give Adam Hopkins is a senior writer for The to which I do not belong—but I will speak of the pro-interventionist camp: if the mili- all of us momentum to go forward with the Retriever Weekly. He can be reached via e- for those people like me: those who were tary intervention frees the Iraqi people from next phases of the Master Plan and enhancing mail at [email protected]. faced with a problem of global consequence Saddam but promises of democracy and lib- and forced to choose between two alterna- eration are not fulfilled, we will not only be tives—war and waiting—and chose to sup- devastatingly disappointed in the leaders we port war. have supported, but perhaps feel partly Certainly, we are not as confident as the responsible. moral-interventionists who have principles Anything that goes “wrong” from here that override the outcomes of action. No, we on out will be a validation for the anti-war are the wary ones, those who have read position because they alone have the luxury Vonnegut, who are often horrified by of speculation. The world will never know American military history, who can’t sleep if the anti-war protestors were wrong, but after watching war movies, who weep at they’re sure to find many a fault with the newscasts. prosecutors of war; it is an unfortunate real- We fear for the plight of current and ity of time and space that we can never post-war Iraqi citizens, for the conse- know how much worse things might have quences of military action, for the lives of been. our troops and their families; our hearts are We the wary do not host rallies or torn by reports and images from Iraq and marches. Many of us are not confident and Kuwait. We are the ones who read the paper outspoken. Although we are often hopeful, while our consciences whisper “look what we may sometimes be worrisome, nail-bit- you’ve done.” ing news addicts, just waiting for validation Yet, we continue to support the war in for our hopes. Even though the Iraqis on TV doubt and fear. The reason? Because we’ve seem hopeful and relieved, we realize that been reading since before the war started: the struggle is far from over. The risk for accounts of systematic torture, murder, and shame, regret, guilt, and accusation will oppression; writings of Iraqi exiles; histo- continue through surrender, reconstruction, ries of tyranny and non-intervention; yes, and beyond. We are reminded of that risk at even reports of weapons of mass destruc- every corner of campus, and in every day of tion. In the bleakness of conflict, we have our lives. But we think that the cause of lib- been encouraged by the televised rejoicing eration is worth it. of Iraqi citizens, by supplies of food and Amber Sampson is a writer for the water reaching the people however slowly, Opinion Section of The Retriever Weekly. by the toppling of Saddam’s portraits and She would love to hear from any readers, statues by Iraqis, by the ability of Iraqi citi- especially the wary ones, no matter what zens to speak their minds. We rejoice with side they may choose. She may be reached Iraqi exiles who are now able to return at [email protected]. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 13 Page 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION April 15, 2003 SGA No Longer Geared Towards Student Input

TIM YOUNG highly publicized administration. Then newly expanded bodies served? The about 15 randomly selected members of the It’s almost depressing to think that what is the problem? Judicial Branch has had no truly major case body. Every year the members of the when you win an SGA election you are only I would like to say the problem is based since its inception that couldn’t be handled finance committee would change again by getting a little over 2% of the student body in the organization of the SGA in general. by a legislative body. The President’s cabi- random selection, excluding the previous voting for you. On top of this, the reasons When you take a look at the Student net does nothing more than reinforce what year’s members. By linking all of the for voting could range from policy (rarely) Government Association, what do you see committees in the legislation already do, organizations together, you would also pro- to being the cute candidate (Which is prob- that is necessary for operation? We know and in some cases the cabinet sit around and mote co-sponsoring of events and cross- ably why I lost two years in a row) to some- they plan Homecoming and we know that collect stipend without even doing that. campus relations. This organization would thing more common like having the one they budget organizations, but aside from And the Senate has been removed from the also do all of the planning for the campus, candidate be a friend of a friend of some- that what do they do? They pass the occa- organizational budget process in all but replacing the SEB with a non-stipended one’s cousin that lives next door to that sional resolution that says ‘We at the SGA determining what the executive budget planning committee comprised of another smelly guy down the hall. I personally had would like more parking’ or ‘We at the SGA should be, and that could again be done by 15 individuals. The organization would no clue that the SGA elections were around would like fresh chicken strips on the House of Organizations. But not the vote for its speaker/spokesperson and hire a this year until someone spam emailed me Wednesday night at the dining hall.’ That’s House of Organizations that we have today. secretary, and those would be the only two some long junky email about how they are all well and good, but do we need three A much more expanded House, that we stipended positions. going to change the world by controlling the branches of government and around fifteen could for the fun of it rename to the Union Think about this concept; every organ- UMBC SGA. I would be willing to bet, thousand dollars of our student activities of Organizations or something professional ization would have its own representation, especially since I asked around, that almost fees to pay for stipends to accomplish this? sounding like that. replacing for example, the one or two peo- no one knew there was an SGA election this Not at all. What we need is a better system This Union of Organizations would be ple who were allotted all of residential life year or even further, knew there was an and a system that almost forces involve- all that is needed for a successful SGA. It or all of the science councils of majors. SGA. Why is this? You can try to blame it ment. How do we accomplish this? Easily. would be comprised of one member of Meetings would of course have to be held in on a number of factors. It’s like cutting the unnecessary embellish- every student life organization on campus. a lecture hall, but would not last forever Is it the charisma of the members of the ment out of an English paper. By doing this, you would open up the stu- because the expansion of committee sizes governing body? Not at all. A year ago we First, you would completely eliminate dent government to the over 40% of indi- would promote most of the work getting had the ‘people’s party’ as they called them- the two and a half parts of the SGA that real- viduals who are involved in at least one club done outside of the group meeting. The selves in office, Suran Desilva and Jake ly don’t accomplish anything for the student or organization on campus. Any organiza- magic of this government would be that Klim, both of whom were popular and body, the Executive branch, the Judicial tion choosing not to participate would for- more people would be more connected and known for their large social circles. You Branch, and the Senate. I know that the feit their vote in the body. By having every care more about what the SGA was involved would have thought that with them in SGA faithful would say, “But we need those organization involved, it would give those in and it would save almost 20 thousand dol- charge the SGA would have picked up some so that we have checks and balances.” The groups an equal playing field in campus lars in stipend money that isn’t necessary. popularity, but it didn’t. The SGA Senate answer to that is, “Other than trying to be a politics and make the students feel more What does this mean? It means that and House weren’t near capacity for almost model United States Government, what are connected with the overseeing government. more people care, and it’s the difference the entire school year. Even this year the they there for?” The SGA as a whole was Committees would be similar to those cur- between Third Eye Blind and 50 Cent. SGA wasn’t able to complete the year with initially designed to work in a checks and rently in the SGA. Of course there would Tim Young is a guest writer for the a full House or Senate, which shows com- balances system with the administration and be a finance committee (which would still Opinion section of The Retriever Weekly. plete apathy or lack of knowledge in regards was no where near the unnecessary expan- hold hearings to determine organizational He may receive comments via email at opin- to the organization underneath yet another sion it is at today. What purpose have these budgets) and that would be comprised of [email protected]. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 15 Page 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION April 15, 2003 American Expeditions Operation Iraqi Freedom Has Morally Inconsistent Yet To Earn Our Trust massive humanitarian problem mani- ALI RIZWAN Gulf War the Iraqis have not been given JOE HOWLEY festing in Iraq. The US military is not Throughout the controversial push much incentive to trust us, what the future American viewers and President equipped to act as a humanitarian organ- for war in Iraq and its eventual com- holds is anyone’s guess. Bush got a treat last week as Baghdad ization, and it does not consider these mencement, the overall lack of moral And as for a democratic regime in was declared “freed.” An American flag needs a priority. regard for the average Iraqi has not sur- Iraq, the chances do not seem as promis- of conquest placed on a statue of In fact, the urgent needs of the long- faced in the debate. From the start, I have ing as many believe. If there were a true Saddam Hussein by an overzealous GI oppressed Iraqi people are being used opposed this war with Iraq not because of democracy in Iraq, chances are it might was replaced with an Iraqi flag, and then for US interests. As the Times reported, the U.N’s disapproval or because of the bring a party with an Islamic platform— the statue was torn down all together, the distribution of aid packages is being lack of international support, but rather something that the U.S will take caution providing a wonderful video clip that used to bribe Iraqis to cooperate. because of the tremendous suffering that against despite its claim for a true democ- managed not to show the injured and Soldiers turn humanitarian supplies over continues to be inflicted on the Iraqi citi- racy. All these matters are obvious and slain civilians who now populate the to locals and let them divvy the supplies zen for completely unjustified reasons. will lead to the installation of a puppet newly freed city. As the war rages on in out to those who cooperate. On Sept. 11 we were all appalled at the who was disloyal to Saddam. northern Iraq and the Bush administra- Elsewhere, the US is finding that terrorists who thought it was right to All the while these internal consider- tion begins to rev up the rhetoric once money once is an excellent motivator. make the people pay for the sins of their ations facing the coalition are overshad- more, it is important to remember that In areas desperately in need of clean government—and we, the United States, owed by the overall stability of the despite the fall of a statue, this war is far water, US forces are selling water to have employed exactly that reasoning in region—namely, the issue of the Israeli- from being either over or vindicated. locals who can afford it, ostensibly to Iraq. Palestinian conflict. A peaceful recon- The media are saturated with images encourage them to behave in an orderly Although the removal of Saddam’s struction of Iraq is highly unlikely given of toppled or burning statues and jubi- fashion. tyrannical regime is better for the people that Iraqis—as do most of the Arab lant Iraqis. Indeed, who can begrudge Another notorious story is that pub- of Iraq, the good of the Iraqi people is not world—feel with due reason that the them their happiness? A villainous and lished in the Miami Herald of Army what this war (and later occupation) is Palestinians are being persecuted at the despicable dictator has apparently been chaplain Josh Llano, self-described about. There are equally—if not more— hands of Israel with American consent. removed from power; they are once “Southern Baptist evangelist,” who is brutal regimes in many countries outside All the while, the U.S is putting more and again free to express themselves and act allowing soldiers access to the clean the Middle East that our government more pressure on Syria and Iran’s govern- as they please. water supplies he controls on the condi- obviously shows little concern for, pro- ments to “change their ways,” making But dig a little deeper – you may have tion that they allow him to baptize them. vided they comply with the government’s another conflict seem inevitable. to turn off Fox and try one of the less Llano will no doubt have a field day special interests. In my view, this illus- As all these factors unfold before us, hawkish news sources such as the New with local Muslims. trates how empty our slogans are when we I stated earlier, in the end there are no York Times or BBC – and an odd juxta- Iraq remains a war zone, and a war proclaim our sincere devotion to “liberate moral considerations being taken into position arises, that of the celebrations zone is a hard place indeed for an aid the Iraqi people.” account. The average citizen does not and the liberation and the looting with the organization to operate. For now, coali- The French and the Germans, at the benefit from these deliberations whether less publicized weeping, dying, and dead. tion forces are the primary vehicle for other end of the spectrum, have also one is Iraqi or American. When all is said A particularly poignant photo in the aid, and that’s simply not their job. shown their concern for what is right as and done, there is no moral consistency in Times shows four-year-old Sumaya Still trust the war? they line up to get reconstruction con- why our government is on these expedi- Majeed Hamas sitting on a hospital bed, At home, the protests continue. tracts in Iraq paid for by Iraqi oil profits. tions. The primary concern is always holding her father’s hand, in their home This very weekend in DC, 30,000 turned That is not to say reconstruction of Iraq is American interests while we are given the city of Kirkuk, another of the recently out to show that they do not trust. not going to bring positive results, but the pretext of security. Our government will liberated cities. The shattered look and Though mainstream media buried the groundwork upon which it is laid is high- continue on such expeditions until the bloodied bandage on her face say it all: story, several independent outlets ly unstable. The loyalty of the new inter- people in this country have the realization this war is far from pure. reported shocking incidents of police im Iraqi government will be questionable to see what atrocities are committed in We are killing the people we are lib- brutality. The peace movement had and it remains to be seen if the Iraqi peo- their name. erating. That is the honest truth, managed to maintain a reasonably ple will view the Americans in the long Ali Rizwan is a writer for the Opinion whether you believe (as many do) that it peaceful record, but recent incidents haul as trustworthy friends or deceitful Section of The Retriever Weekly. He may is a price worth paying. One must won- such as that in DC (and one last week in foes. Although it is apparent since the last be reached at [email protected]. der, however, how many innocent lives Oakland, in which several bystanders the illusion of liberty under American were shot with riot control weapons) flags and guns is worth. suggest a people growing more desper- Even as coalition forces throughout ate, and a law enforcement growing northern Iraq continue to hunt down increasingly frustrated and pugilistic. forces loyal to Saddam or afraid to run There’s been no sign of weapons of because their commanding officers will mass destruction – or as they are now execute them, President Bush and his casually referred to in press confer- administration have begun to beat the ences, WMDs. war drum anew. Syria is sheltering fugi- Soon the war will be a month old. If tives from Iraq’s formerly ruling Baath this were a war of conquest, celebrations party, perhaps even Saddam himself! would be in order. But it’s not; it’s a war Oh, and, we think they might have of liberation. Yet little liberation has chemical weapons. So said Donald been achieved. The removal of a few Rumsfeld last week, and so says George men from office is the excision of a W. Bush now. tumor, not the cure of a cancer. The per- The rhetoric is disturbingly – terri- secutors of the war have already shifted fyingly – akin to that which was used in their military sights, casting serious the weeks and days leading up to the war doubt on the purity of their motives. in Iraq. The same crimes are charged, Writer H.L. Mencken is famous for and though the same punishments are saying, “For every complex problem, not yet threatened, can the US resist the there is a solution that is simple, neat, and opportunity to further rend the Middle wrong.” East asunder and remake it in its own More and more, it seems that in our twisted image? war, we have found that solution. Read the news. Administration offi- cials, particularly Rumsfeld and Bush, Joe Howley is the assistant News openly acknowledge their desire to alter editor for The Retriever Weekly. He may the political landscape. be reached via email at The Times has also discussed the [email protected].

write for opinion X51260 April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 17 Even Anti-War Sentiments Seem Pre-scripted

and they know that the Americans have n’t legitimate and came to your country to that he is no threat to international security, ROMAISA KHAN decided that it is time for them to die; it’s as remove him?” They try to explain their why are we bothered by him “oppressing his I want to scream. I want to yell; but if they are ceasing to exist from reality not position, but the American boy won’t listen people”? Are we Iraqi? Have we ever been mostly, I just want to fall to my hands and quickly enough, and even in their miserable and keeps insisting that Saddam needs to to Iraq to see how people over there live and knees and sob to God to save all those that deaths they are paid no heed. leave because he’s a danger to his people interact? Did we know Saddam Hussein was are the recipients of our “smart bombs”. My head loses blood and I become still; and the rest of the world. They tell him that bad before or after we looked up the location What the hell are smart bombs anyway? It’s my brain is slow to comprehend the reality he is not a danger to anyone (this has been of Iraq on the world map? Do all of us know just a callous new phrase reeking with our of my “nine-to-five” labor, my tax dollars. I established by the UN), and that they back where Iraq is located even now? Who are we arrogance. Do they do anything differently switch the channel and come across an Iraqi their elected leader. He is told, “Our gov- to go in their and demand “regime change” from previous bombs that weren’t called youth/American youth dialogue hosted by ernment has been cooperating with the UN for the sake of the Iraqi people? Maybe this “smart bombs?” Apparently not. They still “free speech television”. It’s an anti- weapons inspectors (also established by the is too radical of an idea but I’ll suggest it any- cause the limbs of five year olds to go flying. war/alternative voice satellite channel. The UN weapons inspectors), we have no way: How about letting the Iraqis do what They still cause a baby’s scalp to explode show was recorded before the war began on weapons of mass destruction (Hanz Blix they want with him since they were the ones into midair. They still cause blood to splat- March 3, 2003, and is an enjoyable interac- said there were none found), and you need to to elect him in 2002? ter on shambled walls that were once the tion between American youth and Iraqi take your soldiers and your tanks and leave We are told, and we tell each other, that innkeepers of childish laughter and family youth talking and seeing each other through our country.” Finally, frustrated, and not Saddam is a bad, bad man. Why are we not dinners. the TV screen, each group from their own wanting anger to break out in a conversation told, and why do we not tell each other that Unlike most other Americans, I am both country. I wish every American could see that was going very smoothly before, they Ariel Sharon is a bad, bad man? I mean, it lucky and unlucky. I am lucky because I this episode because it brings the human change the subject. would only be fair since his government is have a satellite dish that allows me to have touch in a world where we have “smart And then it hits me. How stupid and committing genocide as defined by interna- access to news channels from Lebanon, bombs” and “Operation Iraqi Freedom”. ignorant this boy sounds. This American tional law and seeking to exterminate a Qatar and Jordan, along with CNN and The kids exchange segments of their lives, boy, who means well mind you, but has whole group of people. Why? Is it because BBC. I get a better picture of what is hap- their favorite music, their favorite activities, never been to Iraq, and knows nothing about it’s not part of the script? Sigh. I can’t help pening in Iraq as does my fellow neighbor. what they like to do on a Saturday afternoon. their life; he knows nothing of their lan- it. It boggles me that even our anti-war However, ignorance is most often than not, The Iraqi boys and girls introduce us (the guage, their culture, or their customs, and voice is not our own. Is nothing sacred any- bliss, and with knowledge comes the pain viewers) to their homes, their families, their wouldn’t be able to recognize an Arabic more? I guess not. No wonder there wasn’t that holds your conscious bound. schools. They love play station, hanging out song if he heard it, an Arabic movie if he a strong enough opposition to the war; How I watch the American soldiers pound with friends, listening to Eminem; they ask saw it, or Arab food if he smelled it. He could there be if it’s all a script? For people into civilian houses, rounding up boys and the Americans if they’ve ever heard Arabic knows nothing of their country, its history, who are more inclined to be pro-war the young men that are stripped to a t-shirt and music. The answer is no. They have petty its geography, or its people. Yet, he is telling script is that “Saddam has weapons of mass boxer shorts, their hands and feet tied, with sibling rivalry, ups and downs with parents, them, your leader is oppressive (because we destruction, Saddam has links to Al-Qaeda, trash bags tied over their heads and faces. and…cellars with a week’s supply of food say so), and he should leave your country. Saddam is oppressive to his people,” and for They are pushed and shoved into vans or that the government has provided in case of How arrogant we all sound, and my heart the people more inclined to be anti-war the lined up outside; their bodies cannot stop war. One girl proudly shows the picture of sinks even further as another epiphany hits script is, “I’m not for war but Saddam is a shaking from the fear. Where is the “Geneva her father with Saddam Hussein in her living me like a bullet. It’s all a script. Even the bad guy. I’m not for war but I am for getting Convention” now? I watch three year old room. anti-war voice, as minimal as it is in the rid of Saddam because his country would be boys, lying in hospital beds with their heads Another girl’s love and loyalty for Iraqi media, is a script and we parrot that script better off without him”. We are now the covered in bandages, their cheeks wet with soil causes a blush on her cheeks, and a ring back like mindless birds. “War is bad, but robotic products of CNN and FOX and the tears that won’t stop; a five year old boy who to her voice. An American boy tells the Iraqi Saddam Hussein is a tyrant. War is not the pentagon, and we can all go home and rest once used to race in the fields outside, no youth that he is anti-war but that they do live solution but Saddam Hussein is bad and his easy knowing that we’ll never have to think longer has a leg. What went wrong with the under an oppressive dictator and that country would be better off without him. for ourselves again. “smart bomb” now? A father carries the America feels that he be “ousted from the War is bad but there has to be an alternative limp body of his daughter. Where is the country”. “How do you feel about that?” he way to get him out of the country because Romaisa Khan is a writer for the “liberation” now? Thousands, in despera- asks. They reply defensively, “He is our he’s certainly not a good guy.” Opinion section of The Retreiver Weekly. She tion, are drinking sewage water. They are elected leader. How would you feel if we Have we all gone mad? Seeing that the may be contacted via email at homeless, they are dirty, they are hungry, decided that we felt your elected leader was- whole world, including his neighbors, feels [email protected]. Maryland: Becoming Land of the Free and the Freezing

PHIL WATKINS eating burgers out of foam totes. Those people blame. Since everything from flood to famine Sahara? Give me a camel and I’ll give you Treading lightly as to not wake up my who get on national television or are men- occurs from that phenomenon-so-misnamed’s one yippy-skippy nomad-in-training. It all slumbering schoolmate, I slipped past his post tioned in the newspapers and news-zines are vagaries, why not add another complaint to depends on the perspective you take when and out of class for a trip to the loo, and I absolutely correct, my fellow bourgeois. Our the laundry list of destruction? I see no prob- you gather it all in. When it’s raining, think glanced out the window on my way there. dastardly consumerist tendencies are killing lem with that answer. We can whine and about how much greener and nicer everything Not only was it cold as Nome outside, it us on multiple fronts. Every time you pass gas cajole all we want, because that does a fat lot will all be when it’s over, never mind the was snowing. Hard. The day before April from eating at a fast food restaurant, you add of good when the entire Pacific Ocean doesn’t house that is spinning drunkenly through the started. I suddenly had no qualms about leav- to the toxins that deplete ozone and increase feel like acting normal. When life hands you chocolaty floodwaters that are ravaging your ing the classroom, to be sure. We didn’t need the greenhouse effect. Every time you hop in devastatingly bizarre weather along with riverside hamlet. When the air is so hot you any more psychotic weather to stir the the car to go buy groceries from the market, them lemons, make lemonade. Or something can hear your subcutaneous fat sizzling into addlepated soup our skulls were forced to like that. oblivion, and even the tourists are seeking contain. I was bewildered, to tell you the truth. In all seriousness, the weather that shelter from the wickedly hot sun, think back Bewildered, but joyously happy. continues to throw us all in a tizzy isn’t to the last killer blizzard we had, and smile at Snow? Nah… our poulace didn’t ask for going to stop anytime soon. As far back as your good fortune, Never you mind the relent- it, so it wasn’t supposed to happen. Two days anyone can remember, there has been bliz- less buzz of your power meter on the siding of before, and two days after, it was nothing but zard after ice storm after drought after your house; you aren’t snowed in for a week! gorgeous cloud-free bliss, with temperatures locust plague after microburst after La The community pool actually looks inviting! flirting between “sheer ecstasy” and “ultimate Plata disaster. It never stops. Does going on You probably have a hose in which to frolic, sunbathing weather”. Light breezes caressed channel four and whining about how icky it which is always the most enjoyably juvenile one’s skin, and birds drifted lazily across the is outside make it any better? Last time I thing in the universe to do! campus. Life was beautiful, my pasty legs checked the sky, complaining only made it Anyways, there are more pressing things screamed with delight at seeing the light of worse. Cynicism and doubting the fact that to worry about than the weather, folks, and day and cocoa butter fumes piqued the olfac- the weather will in fact improve soon only you know it. Um… does “Iraq” ring a bell? tory nerves into massive overdrive. makes the current inclement conditions Or mayhap “economic meltdown”? I sure do, Again this week we were socked by Alex Czisny / Retriever Weekly Staff seem that much worse. Need I tell you that as war and poverty affect me more than a dreary weather. Low clouds obscured what Braving the Elements: Two students no one likes a sniveling umbrella-toting blankety-blank rain shower. I prefer to be may have been the sun, and the nights were walk in the cold. commuter, anyways? Everyone else is just bogged down with things that actually should accentuated by misty drizzle and the howls of as wet/cold/tired as you, so just lay off the be depressing and maladaptive to my devel- displeased UMBC students who were in the you burn irreplaceable fossil fuel. Shame on semantics and enjoy life. oping a cheery disposition. I have my priori- process of getting drenched. Sleep was you for being picky. Blame the weather on I have been known to be a bit of an odd- ties. impossible. soccer moms and Mickey Dees. I dare you! ball at times, maybe even slightly crazy. What causes this insanity, you wonder? Heh. You wish. Not only do we have However, I do know that joy can be found in Phil Watkins is the Opinion editor for We can actually pin some of this atmospheric global warming from CO2 and methane and one’s surroundings, no matter how gray and The Retreiver Weekly. He may be contacted chaos on ourselves, gallivanting around the whatever horrendous things we are pumping dismal they may be. Stick me in Siberia, and via email about any meteorological woes at hemisphere in gas-guzzling Suburbans and into our air, we have that elusive El Nino to I’d have a ball. Florida? Peachy keen. The [email protected]. Page 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY April 15, 2003

Add a little tuna to you diet 23 POP! culture takes another hit 25 Stanley Clarke fills the night with music 26 Features Diesel engine: Vin charges ahead with new flick 27 A Great European Adventure: Travel will Change Your Life Find out what study abroad programs and MTV’s “True Life” can do to your world

ALLISON HOUSEWORTH Buckingham Palace. I had to stop. When you’re in Europe, are no big deal. Just a couple in an afternoon. I missed Retriever Weekly Staff Writer I was shocked at how amazing my weekend trips to other countries weeks into the semester I was sit- Nottingham and Canterbury. I’ll little habits had ting in my flat when my room- have to go back. Who knew that one’s life become. I knew mate came back from a mini- I remember talking to a local could be changed with a passport, my away around shopping excursion. I remember I Brit in a pub one night as he was a pack of peanuts and a pair of the subway, I had was watching the BBC, and she rattling on about the best pub to lime green Virgin Atlantic socks? my local pub and asked me if I wanted to go to go to on St. Patrick’s day. I nod- When I boarded a Virgin Atlantic I got angry with Belgium for the weekend. I think ded and made mental notes. On flight to London on January 21, people who my reply was, “Umm OK.” Three March 15 I was on a ferry from 2002, I left everything I knew would hold onto days later I was buying real Wales to Ireland drinking behind. For most students The maps for dear life Belgian Waffles on the street and Guinness and singing folk songs Great European Adventure is the in the middle of taking a canal tour through with a bunch of crazy drunk most extravagant way to splurge intersections. Brugge. And the chocolate? It Irishmen. I spent four days in after high school or college grad- London, the city I rocked my world. Dublin. Four days and nights uation. For others it is an escape. had chosen to I saw the Roman Baths in one drinking Guinness. I spent St. For me, it became a way of life. study in for a Allison Houseworth / Retriever Weekly Staff day. Stonehenge in another. Patrick’s day in the cold Irish rain, One day that April I was out semester, had The Roman Baths: A hot spot for splashing Shakespeare’s grave another day. for my usual jog around become home. with the gods or taking in England’s sights. Oxford in a morning, Cambridge see TRAVEL, page 24 Acclaimed Documentary High Hopes for UMBC GLBTA Week Inspires Reflection R. ERIC THOMAS always diverse campus thinking,” versa.” Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff he says. “We just see the diversity Riley adds, “[Allies Dinner] is and don’t take it a step further.” a way for students in the Freedom OLIVER BARANCZYK deep into an intriguing social issue What do bumper stickers, but- Various items included in the Alliance to thank people who have Retriever Weekly Staff Writer present here in the United States, tons, Ally Sheedy, glittery eye shad- campaign will be available at the been an influence to them.” Israel, Europe, and other frontiers ow and tropical paradise have to do Freedom Alliance table in the Admittance to the potluck din- For each person, watching a of the globe. Exploring the penal- with being queer? This week, it Commons all week and will also be ner is by invitation only, adding to film is a vicarious experience that ties of being gay or lesbian in the seems, they have everything to do given out at the vigil. Says Riley, “I the prestige of the event. Says inspires a full range of emotions: two aforementioned, extremely with it. Each of the above items and just want to get people thinking and Smith, “We’re hoping it’ll be really joy, disdain, fear, and sadness. Yet, strict sections of Judaism, the doc- many more will come into play dur- motivated.” dignified, almost like an honors cer- after seeing days upon days of film umentary offers forays into the ing the execution of this year’s Gay, Other events throughout the emony.” spanning every noticeable genre, it lives of several Jews who meet the Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, week have the same, or similar, Drag Show, Fri. April 18 is plausible to ask what keeps film above criteria under a personal and and Allies (GLBTA) Week, Following the so appealing; what keeps the mass- intimate light. sponsored by the Freedom smashing success of last es returning for more? A possible Organized and co-sponsored Alliance. With a mix of year’s Drag Show, the answer lies in the identity that film by a multitude of organizations: older programs and new Freedom Alliance brings brings to the soul. Much like read- Hillel: the Judaic Student Union, ideas, the organization hopes the event back to UMBC ing a novel or playing a video the Student Events Board and the to open eyes around campus, for another go ‘round. game, film allows the viewer to Office of Diversity Studies, to celebrate what it is to be The whole UMBC com- explore an alter ego that may name just a few, UMBC was privi- GLBTA at UMBC and munity is invited to com- express and broaden the horizons leged enough not only to simply makes strides in the area of pete in the dress of the of living. show the film but also be greeted social awareness, not just for opposite gender for cam- Enter “Trembling Before G- by the esteemed director of the the queer community, but pus fame and gift certifi- d,” a documentary by Sandi film. for all communities. cate prizes. In the grand Simcha DuBowski. Acclaimed for DuBowski, who has traveled One new event encom- tradition of drag shows its clear and straightforward inter- throughout the world to present his passes all of those ambitions everywhere, classic views with homosexual Orthodox documentary, introduced the film, and marks a significant step favorites will make ab- or Hasidic Jews, the film delves setting the stage for a unique pres- for the Freedom Alliance. Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff. fab appearances— entation. For a person not On Wed. at 7:30 the Christina and Britney will extremely knowledgeable Commons Quad Steps will host the goals, though they go about them be there, Philip Fregeolle is per- about the Jewish faith, the “Hate is NOT a UMBC Value” differently. Here’s a look at a selec- forming to Madonna’s “Like a documentary relates quite vigil and the launch of a new pub- tion of upcoming events (for a full Virgin,” Nate West dons a black clearly the self-control and licity campaign against prejudice schedule of GLBTA Week events, wig and fishnets for Liza Minelli’s the passion that are exhib- and for greater social justice. go to http://sta.umbc.edu/orgs/free- “Life is A Cabaret.” Still, unique ited through its believers. Inspired by a similar campaign at dom/events/). tastes are always welcomed, to wit, Taking the viewer from the the University of Maryland, Allies Dinner, Tues. April 15 last year a duo of drag kings took beaches of Miami all the College Park, featuring buttons, The Freedom Alliance contin- home top prizes for performing to a way to cumulus-filled bumper stickers and keychains ues it’s tradition of holding a dinner Blues Brothers tune. Tickets to the skies of Israel, seeing the bearing a similar slogan, the to recognize those individuals who Drag Show, 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. in the devotion, by comparison, Freedom Alliance created this cam- are not gay, lesbian, bisexual or Commons Cabaret, are $3 at the of two women who live paign with the help of the Office of transgender but have made them- Commons Info Desk, $4 at the the American dream and Diversity and Social Justice selves allies to the community. Says door. Last year’s event sold out, so then the imposing crowds Initiatives. According to Freedom Freedom Alliance Secretary Harriet organizers encourage getting your of Jerusalem engaging in Alliance Treasurer Jay Riley, the Smith, who is herself an ally, “I tickets early daily prayers, is an eye- reasoning behind the vigil and the think it’s important for GLBT folks Residential Diversity Jean Dougherty / Retriever Weekly Staff opening spectacle by itself. awareness campaign is not a specif- to have a special time to honor the Awareness, Tues. April 15 The Visionary: Director Sandi The intimacy that is ic instance of prejudice but rather a people who’ve been instrumental in A new program this year, Simcha DuBowski shares his campus-wide problem. “We have a their coming out process, who’ve thoughts with an eager audience. see G-D, page 23 diverse campus population, but not helped or learned from them or vice see GLBTA, page 24 April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 19 Take a Hike to Patapsco Try to “Manage” Your RICHARD MCNEY State Park is one of the best parks in the Frustration and Boredom Retriever Weekly Staff Writer state,” Burnett says. Burnett grew to love the park when he According to the calendar, spring is upon worked there for five years in the 1990s as HEATHER OSTROVE which are never tied up, can make the us. Unfortunately, early spring in Maryland Assistant Park Manager. After his five years Retriever Weekly Staff Writer movie frustrating to watch, but only if brings occasional snow and 30 degree tem- at Patapsco Valley State Park, he went to a one is really concerned with the plot. peratures. When Mother Nature does decide couple of other parks where he served as the “Anger Management” is a movie However, in a movie of this kind, the to agree with the calendar, and the tempera- Park Manager. Last October Burnett jumped that could have been so much more. plot is set up around funny moments, so tures rise, you may want to venture outside at the chance to return to the park he had After the first half hour it seems that the consistency and loose ends aren’t high for some long overdue exercise. Fortunately, grown so fond of and become Park Manager. plot starts a downward spiral. However, on the priority list. Patapsco Valley State Park is within a couple “When I am looking for some quiet time this does not mean that the movie wasn’t Jack Nicholson is often accused of miles of UMBC. it is nice to go out and hike a trail,” Burnett full of humorous moments as it spiraled playing himself in all of his movies. The park winds along 40 miles of the says. down. This movie may follow that trend, but Patapsco River, with over 16,000 acres in Numerous activities are available for Adam Sandler plays David Buznik, that doesn’t mean that one gets tired of Baltimore, Carroll, Howard, and Anne nature lovers besides hiking trails. A variety who through a series of misunderstand- Arundel counties. Throughout the park, beau- of birds, animals and plants inhabit the park. ings is assigned to tiful scenery abounds. Dense forests, rocky While exploring along the river it is common anger management hillsides, historic ruins, rapids, and water cas- to see a great blue heron wading after fish, or classes with Dr. cading over dams are some of the many cap- a white-tailed deer foraging among the wild- Buddy Rydell, tivating sights. The park’s terrain ranges from flower covered forest floor. The many ani- played by Jack flat trails along the riverside to steep trails mals provide for great bird watching and Nicholson. It is among the rocky outcrops of the wooded photo opportunities. obvious from the river valley. Fishing is another popular activity. The movie’s trailer that “We have a lot of areas for people to Department of Natural Resources’ Fisheries Dr. Rydell’s meth- enjoy being out in the woods,” says Park Service stocks the river with rainbow and ods are unorthodox Manager Gary Burnett. “We have a little bit brown trout. Fishermen can also reel in native to say the least. of everything.” species like smallmouth and largemouth bass. Even in Adam The park offers many activities, includ- “The park has a variety of things to Sandler’s worst ing hiking, fishing, canoeing, tubing, moun- offer,” Burnett says. “Whatever area you movies the plot fol- tain bike riding, horseback riding and camp- enter, take the time to explore and pick up a lows from one point Courtesy of Columbia Pictures One Angry Man: Jack Nicholson plays Dr. Rydell, a psychiatrist ing. Last year, according to estimates that map because every time you go you will see to the next; there are who tries to counsel Adam Sandler’s embattled David Buznik. Burnett believes are a little low, 775,000 to something different.” no open ended ques- 800,000 people visited Patapsco Valley State Five developed recreational areas, tions or loose ends to Park. Hiking and biking are extremely popu- Avalon/Glen Artney/Orange Grove, Hilton, tie up. This is the problem with “Anger watching him. This character almost lar in the park, which has around 180 miles of Hollofield, Mckeldin and Pickall, allow easy Management.” A specific fact of seems like a grown-up version of the mostly unmaintained trails according to access to the park from gated parking lots. All Buznik’s life will be shown that is character he played in “One Flew Over Burnett. The trails range in difficulty from gated parking lots require a $2 fee per vehicle thought to be the answer to everything, the Cuckoo’s Nest.” This character is a some flat paved trails to other steep dirt trails during the week and a $2 fee per person on and then never really addressed, or a blend of all the crazy characters with 30-foot drop offs. therapy technique will be used and then “Without a doubt I think Patapsco Valley see HIKE, page 21 never used again. These loose ends, see ANGER, page 21 All Hail The New Patriotism: God Bless America(n Idol)

R. ERIC THOMAS capitalized on all that made it great last year And in these troubling times, it’s nice to improving upon a good thing? Did George Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff and added even more. It’s vaulted from little have something that the country can unite Foreman stop with one grill? No way, and out-of-the-box hit to cultural spectacle, and around to the tune of 40 million simultaneous- “American Idol” didn’t stop at a good show. It’s a uniquely American phenomenon. there seems to be no stopping it. ly nodding heads a week. If you don’t watch 20/20 hindsight will allow each of us a cha- Never mind the fact that it originated in “American Idol,” you know some- grined look at the terribly overlong career of Britain. Like the best of television’s interna- one who does, and, truth is, when Nikki McKibbin; this year, however, we have tional imports—“Iron Chef,” “Trading the final showdown between Clay little to be ashamed of. Spaces,” “All in the Family,” “I’m A and Rueben hits the airwaves, Twenty million weekly voters have Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here”—“American you’ll be on the edge of your seat picked off the big-voice/little stage-presence Idol”, né “Pop Idol,” has all but abandoned it’s with the rest of us. Vanessa Olivarez, the sweet-faced but not roots in the land of tea and crumpets and re- It’s irresistible, and what’s quite star quality Charles Grigsby (although I imagined itself as the best thing to come out of even more amazing is that “AI: thought “You Can’t Win” from The Wiz was the U.S. since Michael J. Fox. Season Two” may just be better an inspired choice), the hopeless and whiny Despite its origins, “American Idol,” in than Season One. The contestants Julia DeMato, and Ricky “What do you mean the two seasons its been kicking butt and tak- are brighter, more attuned to the The Nutty Professor came out like a decade ing names on the Fox network, has proven it’s machinations of pop stardom and ago?” Smith. As if that wasn’t good enough, a as American as apple pie, baseball and profes- generally more talented. Our mem- secret criminal past got rid of Corey Clark, sional athletes in legal trouble. Now in the Courtesy of www.fox.com ories of AJ Gill and Jim Verraros who always looked like a pimp, anyway. Why breath-taking, don’t-you-dare-look-away Then There Were Seven...: The would-be Idols are fading quickly, thank God. And throes of Season Two, the show seems to have cozy up before duking it out in front of millions. what’s more American than see IDOL, page 24 Page 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April 15, 2003 When I Grow Up By:Allison Houseworth Scopin’ Out the Future The 4AM-ers by Devlyn Fennell It’s seven p.m. on a Wednesday night, The 4AMers club is open to the people and you’re walking through the dining hall who need a break. Those who forget about Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) past the steak and chicken toward the cere- work and sit at their kitchen table, alone, The sell-by date on all your dairy True style involves many feathered al and coffee. All of a sudden you hear your with a cup of tea cooling in front of them. products is wrong…the cows are out to boas and a sequined dress for lounge name. Maybe. You turn around. Two of The 4AMers club is open to those get you. singing in. I look forward to seeing your your friends are waving at you. You laugh. who want to be alone. Those who sit up so act. Thank God you’re not hearing things. You late at night with silent tears dripping walk over, a plate in your left hand, a fork down their faces as all of a sudden, in their hanging from your right. delirium, everything seems to make sense. Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) “Hey, are you OK?” they ask. You They wake up the next morning with dry, Due to your extreme boringness, Did you really think that no one smile. Wide. puffy eyes, exhausted from a night of people are only pretending to listen to could hear the evil cackling you’ve been “Yeah, I’m great!” you reply. painful self-discovery, but with a stronger you when you talk. …. I’m sorry what practicing at night? We found your How “You look so tired.” drive than ever to push on. did you say? to Take Over a Metropolis in Seven All of a sudden you realize nothing The 4AMers club is open to couples Short Days book, too. around you makes sense. You’re not see- who get lost in each other’s eyes. The cou- ing people, but instead seeing colors and ples who tumble over each other in beds, in lights, and the dining hall has become a 7*10 bedrooms when their friends’doors are Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) cacophony of…stuff. You think you being locked and “Sleeping” away messages The stupid cold weather is only in I’m not here…neither are you. might drop your plate if you’re not care- are put up. Time, for these 4AMers, is based your imagination…. go ahead and wear a ful. You don’t even know what to eat. on how many times they run their fingers swimsuit and sandals. (So the rest of us Who are these people you’re talking to? over the other’s body; it’s based on kisses, can laugh at you) You begin to wonder if maybe you should whispers and laughter under comforters. go to bed before 4… 4AMers never know who the other Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) I’m starting a club. It’s called The members are. They become delirious in the 4AMers Club. It’s like a secret society. It dining hall, tend to skip classes, never know Your idea of holding hedgehog *Please fax over all pertinent paper- has quite the elite membership. It’s only where they are wandering to next. They’re agility trials is interesting, but I’m not work to the astrological merit commit- open to people who put off stupid stuff to the ones that wonder why they’re starving at sure you’ve really thought it through. tee. Thank you and have a nice day. take the time to really live. eight p.m., when really they are just so The 4AMers Club is open to those exhausted they have forgotten to eat. They’re Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) people who sit on IM until four in the morn- the ones that stand in the middle of their Good things lie in store for you…I ing, the people who forget about nine AM courtyards looking up at turquoise and tan- Everyone at the Retriever Weekly is can see people trailing behind you and classes in order to talk to a friend they gerine colored sunsets wondering if it’s the whispering about you whenever you singing reverently…wait, that sounds haven’t caught up with in a year. These Apocalypse or if what they’re seeing really walk by…quick! Retaliate by writing annoying. 4AMers won’t even let their eyes wander is the most beautiful thing in the world. numerous angry letters to the editor from the IM window down to the clock on 4AMers can be identified by that expressing your scorn. That’ll show ‘em. their screen to see what time it is. glossy look on their faces. They seem to be The 4AMers Club is open to people completely out of it, but as soon as you Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) who are in bed by 12:30 watching a movie, catch their attention a smile widens across Since your head is now shaved, Stay away from the hook. I ready to sleep when someone calls them their face. They’re the ones whose bright you’re going to have to buy all new hats repeat…Stay away from the hook. and wants to hang out. This pair of 4AMers blue eyes are completely contrasted with in smaller sizes. Apparently your crani- won’t check the clock. Instead they will the blood-shot red that surrounds them. um isn’t as enormous as we all thought. judge time based on how many DVDs cycle Their eyes dance, smile and find a way to through the player. stay open until they fall asleep to the sound The 4AMers Club is open to suites of of birds chirping...at 4AM. really good friends who every once in a I have always loved sleep. Lately, how- while just need to be there for each other. ever, it seems to be the only thing missing in They’re the 4AMers who thrive off of my life. A few years ago when my best Playstation 2 or XBOX, zoning out to friend passed away, someone said the fol- Madden or Halo while sipping last lowing about her, “She never wanted to go to week’s beer, or bonding over their sleep…she was always afraid she was going favorite milkshake concoction. to miss something.” Like to write? The 4AMers Club is open to those Although some people might think who prefer to be alone, those who toss it’s crazy, 4AMers know the beauty of and turn in their beds and give up on their late night secrets. Papers can wait sleep at 2:30. They’re the 4AMers who when some of the most beautiful things in sit staring out the window at cars that life happen at 4AM. When I grow up I’ll drive by, wondering where those other be there to watch it all happen. strangers, those other 4AMers are com- Wanna join the club? Email Want free tickets to shows? ing from…or where they are going… [email protected]

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email [email protected] for more info. Bueno. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 21

by Irritation Jenn Gibson anothertime by ryan bloom I’ll Be Back...Again Oh my soul! I am so frustrated at So, yeah the Big Day is coming this very second. I hate computers, I up soon. Yes, the May 22nd day Who can forget those glorious years and different roles. The next smart move hate technology and I hate Hotmail. when I am supposed to walk across when Arnold Schwarzenegger and his won- they made was to cast Robert Patrick, broth- My computer is broken, and the that big bad stage to get one derful one-liners ruled the box office? It was er of Filter lead singer Richard Patrick, and computer at my momma’s house is a Bachelors of Arts in English. Well, a time when plot and dialogue were unimpor- Edward Furlong, both virtual unknowns, for piece of crap and I cannot access I’m not going to gradualejtloction, tant. It was a time when one man could take the parts of the T-1000 and a young John Hotmail. Can’t I go back to maybe it’s cool, but I am looking forward to out an entire army of well-equipped men with Connors. With the return of Schwarzenegger the 1940s when computers and tech- getting the big bad diploma so I can a single bullet or even aliens for that matter. It and Hamilton, the two became a breath of nology did not exist? I think that I’d maybe frame it or use it as a place was a time when, “I’ll Be Back,” really meant fresh air in what could have been an overly be much happier and heck, since I’m mat or something. It’s the events that he’d be back, soon, with another well star driven vehicle. now living in the ‘40s maybe I could after graducxjgeluttion that are received flick. It was a time when Arnold was Perhaps the biggest thing the movie had catch the eye of Clark Gable or some super exciting. No, not the job that I king. going for it, and what has made it stick in the other swarthy manly man. I’d be ok still don’t have, but the road trip I Sadly, every king eventually has12 to step minds of an entire generation, was the with that. am starting to plan out for mid-July. down or be killed of course, and Arnold was Special F/X. The liquid metal T-1000 was People think that I can do every- I want to hit up the key cities of no different. As much as he may still struggle completely new to the big screen. Never thing, and it’s very irritating. I come Savannah, Charleston, Atlanta, and to hold on to his mantle in today’s modern before had such a thing come to life in such home and my momma tells me that I then go for a stroll through Florida. age, the time of King Arnold is over. There stunning detail. The things he could do, the must write an article about I don’t know, it would be cool. All I was, however, one last grand finale before the ways he didn’t die; these things combined Studmuffin’s super cool Eagle cere- have to worry about is my poor poor crumbling of Arnie’s empire; a finale so great with the impeccably creepy performance by mony. Well, with writing and my col- JG-Mobile, who is sadly enough that it will likely stand forever as the crown- Patrick lent weight to an entirely new and umn, transcribing an article, reading starting to show her age. Maybe by ing achievement9 of late era Schwarzenegger. unique villain. Audiences3 were left picking the rest of the latest Shakespeare then I will have a new car, maybe by It was the moment when mainstream media their jaws off the movie theater floors. play, I really don’t think I’ll have then I will have a new job, maybe by was first impregnated with the visual gluttony “Terminator 2” marked a rare sea time to do this. Not to mention the then I will have woke up and that is known as Computer Generated Special change in the way a vast majority of film articles I owe Insights. Yes, I am smelled the wonderful wonderful F/X. It was…“Terminator 2: Judgement would be constructed from that point on. No falling behind in everything again, coffee that is brewing, percolating if Day.” longer would there be restrictions on what all due to the broken laptop. Oh! you will. “Terminator 2” holds an elite honor in could and could not be done. If it was con- How I miss you! My dear, dear com- Studmuffin’s girl, aptly named this vast thing that we call filmdom. It is one ceivable, it became a real visual possibility puter! Please come home soon!! Sweetmuffin, is coming over to my of only a handful of sequels to eclipse6 its with the only question being how much it Speaking of coming home, Baby momma’s house, and everyone is all predecessor. Although the first “Terminator” would cost to make. If your studio had Smuff will be coming home soon. I a flutter. I have never met or seen movie was a great film in its own right, the money, the sky was the limit. This didn’t nec- shall keep you all posted on the exact Sweetmuffin; hopefully I will get to sequel took leaps and bounds both visually essarily lead to the best films, but at least the date of her arrival. meet this enigma. and plotwise that would propel it to the fore- opportunities existed. All thanks to Arnie’s Yeah, so my roomie left to go to There is this awesome store on front of an industry. last stand…“Terminator 2.” the Keys for a week. That’s cool and Baltimore and Eutaw in the city. It’s “Terminator 2” took its first step in the Do you like Arnie? Share your stories everything, but we had plans to go called Grandma’s Candle Shop. Yes, right direction by recasting Arnold with Ryan Bloom, who can be reached at see Keller Williams in Pennsylvania, candles are sold there; there’s a Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton in new [email protected]. and she blew me off. That’s very irri- newsflash. The incense is what I tating, and it really pisses me off. wanted to tell you all about – it is This happens so many times; the beyond bueno. They have clove Hike the Day Away things I’m excited about doing, she incense. I have never smelled clove decides she doesn’t want to do, but if incense – it is so good, or goot as from HIKE page 19 electric dam. Another popular attraction in the I “punk out,” as she so nicely calls Mum would say. the weekend. The developed recreational Orange Grove area is the 300-foot swinging it, then I’m a piece of crap, kind of Gooty gooty bum drips! areas have ball fields, picnic tables, pavilions bridge that spans the river. like this computer. Whatever. by rental, restrooms, water fountains, play- The park can also be entered from vari- I am not a violent person, but I Jenn Gibson is a weird girl and grounds, and even a disc golf course at the ous undeveloped places where the entrance would love to do something mean is slightly behind in everything right Mckeldin area. Camping is available at fee can be avoided. The closest such entrance and nasty to this computer. And now, hence the short and rambling several of the developed areas, and mini- to UMBC is off of South Rolling Road a lit- mean and nasty to the server because column this week. Email her at cabins can be rented at the Hollofield area tle past the park and ride lot. Parking is avail- it is so slow. Grr. [email protected] in Ellicott City. Park headquarters is also able either on the side of the road or you can located in the Hollofield area. A complete park in the park and ride lot and walk. trail map can be purchased at the park “Our goal is to make this a family ori- headquarters and various other information ented place and we work very hard to do Mad Film Makes Funny is available. that,” Burnett says. Pets are not allowed in the developed Park rangers patrol the park at all times, from ANGER, page 19 just to name a few. areas but are welcomed in the rest of the park. enforcing the law in an attempt to reach the Nicholson has played over the years, The chemistry between Nicholson Do not expect to find any trash cans either. goal. There are also several volunteer organi- and yet is still fresh and new. and Sandler makes the movie fun to Patapsco Valley State Park is a trash free park. zations that help to beautify and protect the This is a movie that will not disap- watch and makes up for the downward That means whatever trash you bring in you park. The Friends of Patapsco Valley and point Adam Sandler fans, especially spiral of the plot. One gets the impres- take out. Heritage Greenway holds several events after “8 Crazy Nights.” However, David sion that they really had fun making the The Hilton and Avalon/Glen annually in an attempt to preserve and restore Buznik is a different character from movie. It is usually Sandler whose own Artney/Orange Grove areas are closest to the Patapsco River Valley. One such event is “Billy Madison” or “Happy Gilmore.” blend of charisma takes up most of the UMBC. These two areas contain around 35 the Garlic Mustard Challenge where volun- Whereas those characters are extreme movie, yet in this one he seems quite miles of trails according to Burnett. If you teers pick the foreign weed that is crowding extroverts, Buznik is much more intro- happy to let Nicholson run the show. like history, the Avalon Visitor Center dis- out native wildflowers. This year’s event is at verted, and, for the most part, stays that Nicholson plays the outrageous charac- plays exhibits that tell about the 300-year his- the Avalon area on April 26. Another group way until the end of the movie. “Billy ter in this movie, and it is Sandler’s job tory of the Patapsco River. that protects the park is Park Watch. The Madison” and “Happy Gilmore” were to play the somewhat straight man. The Avalon/Glen Artney/Orange Grove group is similar to Crime Watch in that park characters that made others react to “Anger Management” is a movie area is deep with history, and many historic patrons are encouraged to report suspicious them. In this movie it is Sandler’s char- that could have been so much more, and sights can be found there. In 1828 the first activities, vandalism and dangerous activities acter Buznik who has to react to yet, as it is, it still offers many funny commercial steam-powered railroad, The to Park Rangers. Members also display the Nicholson’s Dr. Rydell. moments. When seeing this movie one Baltimore and Ohio, ran along the river from Park Watch brochure in their cars in an The one thing that may disappoint should just sit back, relax and enjoy the Baltimore to the west. Today some of the old attempt to deter would-be criminals. Sandler fans is the lack of usual cameos comedic chemistry between Nicholson train tunnels and crumbling remnants of the “I think Patapsco Valley State Park is a by his “Saturday Night Live” buddies. and Sandler, forget about the plot or lack line remain. CSX still uses the tracks and the great place to come,” Burnett says. “I wish There are no cameos by Norm there of. occasional train can be seen riding the rails. more people would come and see what we MacDonald or Rob Schneider. Indeed, MY BOTTOM LINE: Would I wait The world’s largest multiple arched stone rail- have to offer.” the only cameo of a SNL alummi is in line to see it? NO. Evening, Matinee, road bridge, the Thomas Viaduct, is also in More information on Patapsco Valley Kevin Nealon. However, this lack of Wait until video, or Forget it was pro- the Avalon area. The viaduct dates to 1835. In State Park can be found at SNL cameos doesn’t mean that the film duced? EVENING. How many times did the Orange Grove area the river rushes over http://www.dnr.statemd.us/publiclands/ce isn’t full of cameos: Woody Harrelson, I check my watch? 1. Rent or Buy: the now inoperable Bloede’s Dam. The dam ntral/patapscovalley.html or by calling Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and Derek Jeter, RENT. was the world’s first internally housed hydro- 410-461-5005. Page 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April 15, 2003

Surviving Ophelia: Learning to move on by Brett McKenzie

“I. Cannot. Believe. He. Dumped. “Derek’s the dick?” Jeff asked. You!” Chelsea gasped. Ophelia rolled her “Derek’s the dick,” Chelsea affirmed. eyes. Most people would tell their best “What is your problem?” Ophelia friends immediately upon the tragic ending asked Jeff. When she realized mullet-boy of their two and a half year relationships. and combat boots girl were watching again, Ophelia knew better. Chelsea was a bit… expecting some encore entertainment, she emotional. lowered her voice. “Look. I don’t know “I know,” Ophelia said quietly, tearing who you are or why you are following me her Sunset Strips wrap open and spearing a around like some… psychotic stalker. And slice of bacon with her fork. you,” she glared at Chelsea, “don’t talk to “No,” Chelsea said shaking her head. him. He’s a psychotic stalker!” She stood “I mean, this is unacceptable!” Ophelia up. rolled her eyes. “Hey wait a minute now!” Jeff said, “Chelsea, look, it’s fine. It’s better that rising to his feet. Ophelia noticed for the I know and it can just be over,” she mut- first time a hint of southern accent in his tered, not meeting her friend’s fiery eyes. voice. Well it wouldn’t charm her. “I have Plus, people were starting to stare. seen you like twice in my life. That does- “Well.” Chelsea stood up. “Well!” Her n’t make me a stalker. You are the one who face was almost as red as her hair as she was alone by the pond that night talking to pointed a finger in the air emphatically. yourself, and your friend here is the one “What has this world come to when a girl who launched the campaign against mas- gets cheated on by her man after years of culinity while I was trying to enjoy my dedication and love, and he dumps her?” meal!” He looked at Ophelia rather sadly. “No way,” a guy with a mullet at the “Like I told you a few nights ago, you table behind her said, shaking his head seemed lonely like you had stuff on your gravely. mind and I know what that’s like. If you “Men are pigs!” shouted a bald really don’t want to talk? Fine. Have a nice woman in combat boots from a few tables day, and I hope it doesn’t take you too away. many more dicks before you find someone “I mean honestly,” Chelsea said who treats you right.” And with that he sharply. “If they’d stop thinking with their turned and walked out of the building. dicks and start thinking-” she hugged her- Chelsea and Ophelia stared at each self, “-with their hearts, then maybe we’d other for a moment. “This is all your fault,” live in a world where the divorce rate was Ophelia said. lower than 60 percent!” “Well go after him!” Chelsea threw A few sorority girls who had stopped her hands up in the air. “Apologize, at to listen to the tirade burst into applause least.” and began to walk on. “What, no bow?” “Yeah man, that was harsh,” Mullet Ophelia hissed through her teeth. “Maybe Boy said with a mouth full of sub. you should use that as one of your mono- “I hate this school,” Ophelia sighed. logues next week.” She took off out the door toward Lecture Chelsea laughed. “Ophelia, don’t be Hall I where she’d seen Jeff turn. She so dramatic. So how do you want to get was so intently searching for him that she back at Derek? I could fix you up with almost knocked over a couple holding someone.” hands. “Excuse me,” a male voice interrupt- “Jesus, watch where you’re going!” ed. “I couldn’t help overhearing your little the girl screeched. speech.” “Sorry,” Ophelia said, looking up. Ophelia looked up. “Oh GAWD,” she “Ophelia,” Derek said in shock, drop- said, dropping her head into her arms. ping the other girl’s hand. Ophelia barely “I’m Chelsea,” she said, extending her looked at him. She glared into the face of hand. “This is my terribly-wronged and the other girl. She was mousy and petite newly-single best friend Ophelia. You with sharp features and pale skin. are?” “You must be Kate,” Ophelia smirked. “Jeff,” he said. Ophelia opened one “Well it’s a pleasure to finally meet Derek’s eye and groaned. “I’ve met your friend.” other partner. Although I must say, he’s all “Well, Jeff, what can I do for you?” yours; I got tired of sharing.” Chelsea asked sweetly, flicking one of The girl stepped back. “Um, excuse Ophelia’s arms. me?” “I just wanted to say I think everything “Oh and by the way,” Ophelia leaned that just came out of your mouth was com- in. “Red’s really not Derek’s favorite color. plete crap,” he said smugly. Ophelia had to But maybe now that I’m gone, he can have giggle at Chelsea’s reaction. “You see, not some time to take you bra-shopping.” all guys are like the ‘dick’ who screwed The girl looked in shock from your friend over.” His green eyes bore into Ophelia to Derek. Finally her eyes nar- Ophelia’s and she felt awkward. “Many rowed and settled on Derek. “Who the men do have those qualities about them, fuck is Kate?” she screamed. Derek’s face but many women have a tendency to look went white. Ophelia covered her mouth for and only date those types of guys. Is this and raised her eyebrows as the girl seat taken?” he asked, sitting down at the flounced away. Then she looked at Derek. end of the table. “You can’t blame the “You’re really not a big enough man nation’s divorce rate on men alone. to handle three women at once,” she Certainly self-destructive women in self- said. Then she turned on her heel and destructive patterns like your friend walked back toward the Commons. She Ophelia here are also responsible.” saw Jeff leaning against the side of the “What?” Ophelia cried. building, laughing, with a cigarette “Ab-so-lutely!” Chelsea said, nod- between his fingers. Then he put it out ding. “Ophelia’s been in several self- and went inside the lecture hall. destructive relationships. I fear she’ll fall into another now that Derek is out of the Brett McKenzie can be reached at picture.” [email protected]. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 23 Champagne Wishes and Shoestring Budget Gourmet Tuna Fish Dreams ¡ By Chef Steph R. ERIC THOMAS a menu that far exceeds the usual dolphin safe I love spaghetti. I think practical- they’re done. Remember, you’re Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff can—current options include tuna melts, casse- ly everyone (unless they have some shooting for tender, not mushy and role, tuna potpie, tuna steaks, in addition to the sort of noodle-related childhood trau- frightening like macrobiotic baby How much do you love tuna fish? A pair classic tuna sandwich— and healthy side dish- ma) loves spaghetti. It’s quick, it’s food. When the veggies are done, of local would-be businessmen and erstwhile es like tomato soup, cornbread and apple sauce, easy, it goes well with milk. dump them into your tomato and spice students are hoping you love it enough to for- Trivedi and Thomas continue to dream up new Essentially, it’s the perfect dinner. My mixture and add the cheese. For the sake both the handy tin can and greasy value items to tempt the lunch time crowd. “We’re problem is that I pretty much revile next half hour, supervise your sauce meal. Introducing Tuna Palace, the brainchild still working on a tuna ice cream and a soy- any and all types of jarred sauce. while you’re making the meatballs. of University of Rochester graduate Ajay based vegetarian tuna dish,” says Trivedi. Not to despair! This week we’re Keep stirring and tasting it. If you like Trivedi and incoming College of Charleston Thomas adds that the possibilities of a tuna going to learn how to make home- sweeter sauce, you can begin adding freshman Steve Thomas. While working salad bar are possibly endless. made spaghetti sauce with turkey sugar, a pinch at a time (stir after each together in the It seems these meatballs. I know that spaghetti is a pinch) until it’s sweet enough. If you AmeriCorps program, two, who are still in carb-counter’s nightmare, but if you like spicy sauce, do the same thing the two discovered a search of a financial skip the garlic bread and pair it with a with crushed red pepper. shared love of the investor in their proj- mega-sized salad, trust me, you can chicken of the sea and ect, have thought of treat yourself. Besides, the sauce itself Meatballs the rest, as they say, is everything. “We’ll is loaded with cancer-fighting good- •1 lb lean ground turkey history. have hats, t-shirts, ness and the meatballs are lean protein •4 ounces fat-free cream cheese, Conceived as a bumper stickers, but- and iron and crap. So breathe. softened healthy alternative to tons, you name it, •1 cup fat-free shredded mozzarella the proliferation of fast we’ll have it,” says Steph’s Spaghetti and Meatballs •pinch salt and pepper food restaurants, Tuna Thomas. “Tuna Ingredients: •1 tsp each garlic and onion pow- Palace has grown, and Palace is not just a •Package of pasta (your choice) der support from the pub- restaurant, it’s more Sauce: •1 tsp parsley lic is gaining. What at like a way of life.” •4 eight-ounce cans of tomato •breadcrumbs as needed first seemed like an Still the two split paste •milk as needed absurd joke now when it comes down •3 14.5 ounce cans unseasoned appears closer and to the age-old ques- diced tomatoes Combine everything except milk closer to reality, aided tion, which is better: •1.5 cups water and breadcrumbs in a large bowl and in part by Thomas and relish or celery? “It’s •2 cloves minced garlic mush well with your hands. Now, pour Trivedi’s unwavering like, which came •4 large carrots, chopped 1 teaspoon of milk into half a cup of commitment to their first, the chicken or •1 small onion, finely chopped breadcrumbs so they are moist (once shared goal. “We are Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff the egg?” Thomas •1 each green and yellow bell again, not macrobiotic baby food) and against the plethora of Something Fishy: Thomas and Trivedi says. “I’ll tell you peppers, chopped then add them to the meat mixture and unhealthy, unoriginal already offer Tuna Palace merchandise who, it was the tuna.” •1 zucchini, chopped resume mushing by hand. Repeat this food options to the As to the issue at •4 cups fresh mushrooms, process until the meat mixture is stiff consumer in today’s market, especially the chil- hand, Thomas categorizes himself as a “purist, chopped enough to hold its shape when you roll dren” says Trivedi. tuna only.” Trivedi prefers “celery with the tuna •2 bay leaves it into balls. Roll the meat mixture into Envisioning Tuna Palace as a haven for fish, covered by a layer of bread and butter •3 tbsps each basil and oregano balls and place them in a hot skillet those who are sick of the traditional fast pickles.” Of his business partner’s look, he •2 tbsps grated parmesan cheese with a little olive oil. Do not flip them! food options, the business partners point to shrugs, “To each his own.” Roll them around with a spoon so that tuna’s natural healthiness and conveneince. But for all the humor that can be derived In a large pot, combine all canned they cook evenly but remain ball- “Tuna is low in fat and high in protein.” out of a restaurant dedicated only to tuna tomato products, garlic, basil, shaped. After they have browned Thomas says. “And for your information,” fish, Trivedi and Thomas are, at heart, quite oregano, bay leaves and water. Begin (about 15 minutes, put them into your Trivedi adds, “protein comes from the Greek committed. “In all seriousness,” says simmering on ridiculously low heat. big pot of sauce and start the pasta, word that means ‘of most importance.’ It’s Trivedi, “we would like to link Tuna Palace In a large skillet, heat about 2 tbsps following the package directions. true, look it up.” up to urban renewal, fighting homelessness olive oil with a dash of salt and pep- When the pasta is finished, drain it and Thomas adds, “Jesus multiplied the loafs and creating healthier eating habits for kids, per. Place the carrots and zucchini in pour your meatballs and sauce all over and the fishes. We took it as a sign that even to name a few. “We plan on employing the skillet and start to sauté them. it. Serve with a huge salad and some back then people were eating the tuna sand- homeless people,” Thomas adds, “as well as After about 5 minutes, add the pep- nice cold milk. wich.” providing them transitional housing in an pers and onions, and 5 minutes later Though still in the planning stages, Trivedi effort to help them get back on their feet and add the mushrooms. After you add the Chef Steph says drink milk, it does predicts that with proper backing, Baltimore into the working world. We’re for real about mushrooms, the veggies will probably a body good. Email her at will see its first Tuna Palace in three years. With that, it’s not a joke.” take another 5-7 minutes before [email protected]. “G-D” Sheds Its Light

from G-D, page 18 faced because of his sexuality and the reli- inherent in all documentaries becomes ele- gion that binds him, he releases a blistering vated by the scope of the film and the hon- diatribe, outlining the questions and convic- esty of those shown. After reliving a past tions he has searched endlessly for resolu- marriage and relating the ostracism felt tions to. Shortly after his pinnacle of emo- because of her homosexuality in relation to tional release, he calmly and succinctly sums her strong Jewish background. She follows a up the one need that he desires more than woman through the streets of her neighbor- anything with the statement, “I am 58 years hood in Boro Park, Brooklyn. She encoun- old and I want my daddy.” ters her uncle, oblivious to her inner turmoil; Following the film, the director, her longing for a resolution is symbolized by DuBowski, held a question-and-answer ses- the simple love and joy displayed by children sion which was well received by all that at a nearby carnival. Such longing is shown chose to attend. While many choose to turn through all of the subjects documented, cre- away from important social issues like ating a distinct, compassionate understand- homosexuality, the film presents a double- ing of the reality that they face every day—a entendre, highlighting the fear of being gay reality of the alienation they feel. or lesbian while a practicing Orthodox or Perhaps the most poignant sequence Hasidic Jew. A very special and honest film, present in the entire film comes from Israel, any person who chooses to see it, whether a 58-year-old man who leads tours through finding an identity within it or not, will two historically Hasidic neighborhoods of understand that which keeps one searching, Brooklyn. Disillusioned by the plight he has not only for great film, but also for answers. Page 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April 15, 2003 Experience “True Life” Travels GLBTA Week Is No Drag from TRAVEL, page 18 so worth it. from GLBTA, page 18 dancing in the streets of Dublin. It was the Brain Souders in the Study Abroad ic group? How do you think it feels not to be greatest weekend of my life. Office at UMBC is an extraordinary Residential Diversity Awareness is a program in this group?” This year, back at UMBC, a few weeks resource. He has a wide variety of informa- to be held in the Harbor Hall Community Smith says that her experience with the before spring break people started putting tion available to students. The Study Room for all interested on-campus students. program in high school was eye-opening. “I up away messages about where they were Abroad Office is located in room 222 of the Produced in conjunction with Residential think it’s going to hit home for people that going: Bahamas, Miami, Key West, Fort Administration Building. Summer is a Life and RA Melissa Lewis, the program, they may not be able to say what they are [in Lauderdale. great time to start looking at what programs according to Smith, is not just about GLBT all situations].” Spring Break 2002: I went to might be available to you. When school issues. An emulation of a program Smith was Though Residential Diversity Amsterdam, France, and Spain. Most of the resumes in the Fall, Souders and everyone a part of in high school, she says Residential Awareness, occurring from 9 p.m. to 10:30 people studying with me in London went to in the office will be in full swing trying to Diversity Awareness is “not just about race, p.m. is currently planned as a one-time event, Italy. They hit up what we called The Big get you and everyone else set up with the gender or sexuality. It’s about religion, dis- the Freedom Alliance is leaving the possibili- Three: Florence, Rome and Venice. I had best programs available. ability, all of the groups that people can be a ty open for recurrence should it succeed. three friends accidentally bump into each If you don’t want to study abroad but part of.” Tropical Promenade, Sat. April 16 other at the Vatican. I ran into two people I still want to travel and are interested in an GLBTA Week ends knew at the Picasso Museum in Barcelona. exciting opportunity to tie in with your with a bang and a splash My family flew out to Europe to visit Great European Adventure, then check this as party-goers are trans- me for Spring Break. It had been the out. STA Travel has teamed up with MTV, ported to the Caribbean longest I had ever gone without seeing and they are having a casting call for the with a dance where disco them, and they spoiled me with a few days MTV hit show “True Life.” balls are replaced with in the south of France and a week in MTV’s “True Life” is filming a documen- coconuts, and the sounds Barcelona. I remember they were shocked tary about young travelers backpacking in of the ocean surf pro- at how old everything was. At home, in Europe. They are seeking students between the vides the beat. Though London, I would pass by seventeenth cen- ages of 18 and 25 who will be travelling in the Tropical Promenade, tury buildings every day. I walked across Europe between May and July 2003. 8 p.m. to Midnight in the London Bridge because I just had to get Participants must, obviously, be willing to share Skylight Room, is a fun somewhere. I would jog around their experiences with a television audience. and upbeat way to end a Buckingham Palace. I definitely remember, If you are qualify and are interested, sometimes challenging however, drinking white wine on a then all you have to do is send a photo and week, all is not meant for Mediterranean beach and thinking it was answers to the following questions to STA frivolity. Explaining the the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I and MTV. Ready? The questions are: 1. theme and the timing of was living in a painting. What is the purpose of your trip? (Self-dis- Alexander Czisny / Retriever Weekly Staff the Tropical Promenade, Walk On By: The Freedom Alliance chalked the side- One night in Barcelona, I was walking covery, transition from college to the real Smith says, “It’s a very walk with celebratory messages to kick off the week. back to our week long rented apartment world, etc) 2. What are your travel plans? sentimental time for peo- with my family. We had just come from (Which countries will you visit, what is ple because in high dinner, having shared a few pitchers of your budget, etc) 3. Where are you in the As the program’s chief planners, Smith school they may not have been able to Sangria. We passed by an Internet café and planning process? 4. What makes your and Riley envision the event as one that will bring their girlfriend or boyfriend.” I went in to send emails to my friends at backpacking adventure unique? raise more questions than it answers as it asks Situating this dance at the end of home. I got on IM, and I remember having That’s all it takes! Just answer those people to evaluate how they see themselves GLBTA Week and around the same time nothing to say. My friends would talk to me four questions and drop them in the mail and how they see others. They have hope that as the nation’s prom season offers many about some paper they had due the next along with a picture of yourself, and send the exercises done during Residential in the UMBC queer community the day. I was buzzing from Spanish Sangria in them to: STA Travel Office, JHU Gilman Diversity Awareness will raise the questions, chance to do it over again, this time they an Internet café in Barcelona. I logged off. Hall, attn: Jennifer Whalen, 3400 North “how do you think it feels to be in this specif- way they wanted to. I don’t think many people realize how Charles Street, Baltimore, MD 21218 or much travelling can change you. People send them to MTV Casting, c/o STA always say studying abroad helps you learn Travel, 5900 Wilshire Blvd Suite 900, Los The Idols Have Landed so much about a culture, about a language, Angeles, CA 90036. All information is due about a group of people. What they forget by April 18, so get it in quick! from IDOL, page 19 Rush-ed to her aid. One also wonders why to tell you is how much you learn about Travel expenses are not included with “Carmen Rasputin” is still around, hair exten- Ryan Seacrest continues his charade of sexual yourself. Not a single day goes by where I this “True Life” opportunity, though camera sions and all, can only be explained as the ambiguity and coolness. And where’s Kristin don’t think studying abroad, and all of my crews will be with you. It’s a perfect way to work of the devil. Or Simon Cowell’s inces- Holt been? Not that I miss her, but she was travels, have changed my life. have a great travel experience and get famous sant sycophancy. Though you have to admit, supposedly living with the contestants to give On one day, in one cold winter all at the same time! What’s better than that? her voice may not be the best but her stage the inside scoop on who was saying what to month, I left my friends, my family, my If you happen to be travelling abroad presence is up there with the big dogs. whom and who was hooking up with whom school, my boyfriend and everything that this summer do yourself a favor. Take Still, just because we’ve separated the (P.S. did you see Clay and Carmen making out was comfortable behind. I spent months lots a pictures, write it all down, and jog wheat from the chaff does not mean our work on stage last week? Um, what?). Ms. Holt, on a different continent, meeting new around a really famous place, just to say is done. Questions still remain about the sur- thankfully, has been AWOL since her original people and losing some from home. you did it. That’s what life is all about. If viving bunch, like when will American realize appearance, and it’s probably better that she When I came back the most important you happen to be in London in June, call that if Kimberley Caldwell is not belting, she stays that way. things in my life were still here waiting me. We’ll grab a beer. Bon voyage! really can’t sing? Or, why hasn’t that nice The greatest addition to the chaperone for me. I can’t stop talking about how Have questions or comments about Kimberley Locke found a nice piano bar and section of this year’s AI is the guest judge, also everyone needs to leave UMBC at some travelling abroad? Email Alli: stool someplace? Can you really see her, in known as the former celebrity whose heyday point and get their butts to Europe. It is [email protected]. one year’s time, with horrendous bed-head came and went all before Carmen was born. and what looks like a posse of heroin addicts It’s always good to see the ever-Jeri curled dancing behind her, singing “Miss Lionel Ritchie, and Gladys Knight was a treat, Independent” like last year’s winner, Kelly indeed. But wasn’t Diana Ross looking a little Clarkson? I don’t think so. manish a couple weeks back? I had no idea she Also, what is Ruben reaching for? Would was a member of Earth, Wind and Fire, but someone give it to him, please? Why is that’s American Idol for you—not only enter- Trenyce/Lashaundra so pretty? And who was taining, not only patriotic, but educational, too. that girl in the mugshot? Finally, is it un- American to vote Joshua Gracin off? Because he’s gotta go eventually. This isn’t “Nashville Star,” buddy. It’s not just the contestants who’ve improved, though. Back for a second round (because they honestly have nothing else to do) Simon, Randy, Paula and the perpetual- ly tanned Ryan Seacrest have all built upon what made them enduring and annoying in Season One. Paula is still the reigning Queen of Nice and Non Sequiturs, though in recent weeks she’s added more than a dash Courtesy of Fox.com of sexual innuendo to her comments. One Aiken for Clay: America has found a wonders why some adoring fan hasn’t Rush, lovematch in the silky-voiced Southerner. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 25

ProsoPOP!eia Clarke’s Bass Worth Trip

DEVLYN FENNELL strands on his bow breaking and flying Retriever Weekly Staff Writer free each time he got going. Never before have I heard a violin go toe-to-toe I was venturing a little far afield with an upright bass before, but not only when I drove into Annapolis Sunday did he and Stanley Clarke do just that, Sick and Tired...... by R. Eric Thomas evening. Getting to hear the infamously the two instruments turned out to be well great bassist and composer Stanley suited to it. Clarke perform live was worth the drive, Personally my favorite instrument is however. I got to the Rams Head Tavern the bass, and in this performance I not in downtown Annapolis just in time to only got to hear Stanley Clarke play be seated and see Stanley Clarke and his both an upright and a beautifully wood- So, I’m afraid I have the hard to keep track of what alert band come out. It was a damn good finished electric bass, but his back up SARS. Which is too bad, we’re on, what with the news thing that I had my ticket in advance bassist as well. Armand Sabal-Lecco because I had stuff to do with ticker and the stock ticker and too; the place was completely packed. I from Cameroon is a bassist worth going the rest of my life and such. But the sports ticker. The next thing had a perfect line of sight view of the and hearing in his own right. A past per- you gotta go sometime, as the you know they’re going to hook center stage between people’s heads former with artists like Sting, Paul news and “CSI” are always us all up to our televisions and though, so I was all set to enjoy the Simon and Ray Charles, hearing him reminding us, so why not broadcast each individual heart show. play with another master bassist is a SARS? At least I can stop wor- monitor at the bottom of the And the show was certainly worth treat not often enjoyed. rying and love the bomb. Well, screen, right under the news of seeing. The amount of musical talent Both Armand Sabal-Lecco and maybe not love it, but not care if the latest capitol to fall and who that was displayed not only by Stanley Stanley Clarke are simply amazing at crazy Saddam rises from the will be starring in the Superman Clarke himself, but also by the members slap-bass style playing, and when they ashes like the bad guy in “Die movie, so you can constantly of the band was astounding. get going together it’s like watching two Hard” with a big ole nuke point- keep track of just how scared The well known and much in miniature hurricanes gathering intensity ed at Baltimore/Washington. It’s you. demand Gerry Brown was on drums. In and circling each other. I’ve seen all cool, ‘cause I have the What alert are we on now? addition to playing with musical big bassists in the past tear off fingernails or SARS. Red? Amber? What do you do shots like Diana Ross and Stevie otherwise hurt themselves playing this I’ve not been to any doctor when the terror alert is at Wonder as well as many others, he has a style (dangerous instrument), and accept- or anything. I just know. I’ve Amber? Is that duct-taping win- long history with Stanley Clarke and is, ed that as something that happens occa- had a little bit of the muscle dows or looting Rite Aid? I according to our esteemed bassist, the sionally when they get going with partic- achey for a while, and every missed the orientation session. I first musician he ever played with. His ular intensity. But the speed these two morning when I wake up my do know that when the air qual- drum solos were not only fast paced and were playing at surpassed anything I’d throat has been sore. I don’t ity alert is on Red, I stay home intense, but performed with flair. seen before. Their hands blurred before think this has anything to do and do a little puff puff on the Several times his drumsticks switched my eyes. I half expected not only torn fin- with the fact that it’s cold, wet asthma inhaler, but terror? Who hands without him ever missing a beat. gernails, but entire fingers to come off. and rainy. I have the SARS. knows? What do you puff puff Watching him I expected the whole time The show was thankfully blood free Someone suggested to me that I on when Osama comes around for one of the sticks to break or go fly- though, and it ended with all the musi- might have mono, but between with his ice cream truck full of ing off, as happens so often with drum- cians uninjured. you, me and my unruffled bed- SARS? mers, but instead his solo continued It’s not often that a bassist is the sheets, there’s no way I have I don’t know, and that’s uninterrupted at a speed that left those headliner of a show. Bassists tend to be mono. Although two years ago I scary. But despite how scared of us in the audience breathless. under appreciated as musicians and as did get mono sans any dis- we are, we continue to watch; Playing in only his eighth profes- band members. When a bassist does cernible action, if you know it’s like “The Ring,” or Joan sional show ever, Denmark violinist headline a show though, it makes for a what I mean. Talk about pissed Rivers. Paula Poundstone, while Mads Tolling is someone who deserves performance well worth going to. off. Not so much as a Freedom performing at the Baltimore to be up on that stage, and whose name For those of you who haven’t heard Kiss and I’m laid up in bed, my Improv this weekend, talked music aficionados will surely be hearing him before, I highly recommend grab a neck the size of Verne Troyer, about how at the onset of the more in the future. He played with such ticket next time he comes to town for a watching Parker Posey videos. war, she would wake up in the vigor and intensity that I could see show. Not that it’s a bad way to go, but middle of the night and turn on come on, nobody wants to die CNN, “just to see if we were all for nothing. still alive.” The thing about the Fortunately, I didn’t die and ever-present media is that not now I have the SARS. And I feel only can we do that, but we feel good about that, because I’ve we have to. Instant information just been so terrified, what with is available online, on T.V., in all these warnings and the threat newspapers and on radios. of biochemical warfare and There’s no way that we can’t David Letterman getting the know. We’ll see the Apocalypse roofing tiles or whatever. It’s a coming from a mile away. scary time, so they say. And so That, to me, is the scariest I’ve been scared, because I’m a of all scary thoughts. Will there good American. It’s pretty much ever be too much knowledge? our duty to be scared at a time Because who wants to know that like this; if we’re not at least a the world is ending, especially little ants, it’s just unpatriotic. I when you’re powerless to do mean, why else would the cable anything about it? The thing news channels run 24 hours of about living in a culture of fear horrifying, edge-of-disaster is that it robs each of us of our coverage? Right now, we’re a own agency, and I’m a little culture built around fear, and tired of that. And sick. But the more common the fear the maybe that’s just the SARS. more united we are. R. Eric Thomas wouldn’t be So, I’ve been scared. But it averse a little of the end-of-the- gets exhausting being scared, let world bang, bang, bang, if you me tell you. Take these alerts. know what I mean. Maybe we NOW HIRING LIFEGUARDS!! All the colors of the rainbow, could get some coffee, or a like Lucky Charms. I don’t even smallpox shot? E-mail him at Pool Ops., Supervisors. know what they mean and it’s so [email protected] Training avail.Top Pay. Flexible. Call Kathy. 1-800-966-2500 x110 Page 26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April 15, 2003

Beginning [Apr. 17] Events Happening Throughout the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area TOWN Thursday, April 17 Sunday, April 20 It’s Like... BOOM! I Got It! That’s the energy behind one of the One of the most highly-regarded bands in leading live rock groups in the coun- the biz, Yo La Tengo, crash the Recher try. And You Will Know Us by the Theater tonight, and they’ve invited you to Trail of Dead, admittedly a rather come along. For those unfamiliar with protracted name, but you’ll be any- them, YLT has been around quite a while, thing but bored by their tremendously with a growing fan base. Why not make furious power jams. Also checking in the short drive to Towson and see if you at the Black Cat in D.C.: America Is won’t join the increasing throng of YLT Waiting, at 8:30. TM* aficionados, if you already haven’t? Portastatic’s also on the bill. TM* Friday, April 18 Jumpin’ the Tracks! Monday, April 21 Looking for a mix of some great tunes, Do You Realize... coming at you stronger that a locomo- ...what an amazing band The Flaming Lips tive, with a connection to UMBC? happen to be? Just by looking at some of Here comes Whisky Train, Baltimore’s their album titles reveals what warped and hottest new hard and classic rock band, inspired minds are at work here: “Clouds coming to Champion’s Billiards Taste Metallic,” “The Day They Shot a tonight in Parkville. Also, keep your Hole in the Jesus Egg” and last year’s calendar open for May 2, when they acclaimed “Yoshimi Battles the Pink play Loafer’s Lounge in Catonsville. Robots.” They’ve even released a 4-CD Come on out and rock the rails! set that you’re supposed to play simultane- ously, that is, four different records at once. Saturday, April 19 Now how many psychedelic-space-rock A Night of Relentless Laughter bands can you say that about? They bring Perhaps America’s best musician- their brand of merriment and mischief to comedian, Stephen Lynch, brings his the Recher Theater. TM* ... -Steve Wiley acoustic guitar, along with his trade- mark absurdist wit, to the Recher *TM = Ticketmaster: (410) 481-SEAT; Theater in Towson. You’re guaran- www.ticketmaster.com teed to be rolling in the aisle, as he sings hilarious songs of long-lost Got an upcoming area event? love and killing kittens. Featuring Email [email protected] (min. 2 weeks Mike Errico. TM* notice). April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 27

Weekly Crossword Clues Across Down 1 Toni Morrison book 1 Shot in the ring 5 President known for his heft 2 “You ___ Here” 9 Thurman of “Gattaca” 3 A whole bunch 12 India.___ 4 Ardent supporter 13 Sandwich cookie 5 Tennis star Haas 14 Calif. neighbor 6 Length times width 15 Actor Lugosi 7 Gave grub to 16 Some people practice it 8 Worked hard 18 Wool source 9 Kind of operating system 20 Popular car 10 What’s to eat 21 Like some bagel chips 11 Big sts. 23 Dorm room furniture 17 Give up, as land 24 Rainy day wear 19 Part of Q&A 25 Necked 21 Instrument also called “hautbois” 29 Have the title 22 “___ the time!” 30 Kind of baseball 23 Sheepish comment? 31 Reporter’s question 25 West of Hollywood 32 Core 26 Admits, as guilt 35 No-no sentence 27 “Whoops!” 37 Com preceder 28 Danza or Bennett 38 Not quick on the draw, in the Old 30 Take the stage West 33 Work at the school paper, maybe 39 Dodge 34 “Forget about it!” 42 Like most Indians 35 Seek a position on the student 43 Former Yank Tino council 45 October stone 36 Negates the effects of 48 Curved letter 38 Thingy 49 High nav. rank 39 “I agree!” 50 Sicilian peak 40 Ming ___ 51 “The Matrix” role 41 About 52 Ending for switch 42 Blood: pref. 53 Some kids 44 Swed. neighbor 46 Landers or Richards 47 ___ Vegas

Diesel’s New Film Sets This “Man Apart” From the Rest

SHIRLEY LONG ter—one with actual depth that you can (Tate) are involved in the bust of big-time it. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer empathize with. In “A Man Apart,” he drug lord Memo Lucero (Silva), which is As it turns out, the invasion was a hit plays DEA agent Sean Vetter, a member the culmination of seven years work. that was put out by the mysterious Every so often, a film comes out that of a special undercover unit made up of When it’s all over Sean gets to go home “Diablo,” who’s moving in to take over has audiences leaving the theatres pleas- former gangbangers and street thugs, like to his wife Stacy (Obradors), who is Lucero’s territory. Now Vetter and Hicks, antly surprised, perhaps even moved. him. People with an intimate knowledge everything to him. The next evening, fol- along with the team and their childhood Actors occasionally exceed your pal Big Sexy (Sharperson), have to expectations of them, and amidst discover Diablo’s identity before the Hollywood garbage one will it’s too late and more drugs get into sometimes find a real gem of a plot. the country. More importantly, Sean This is most definitely the case with wants to take out those responsible New Line Cinema’s latest release, for the death of his wife. The second “A Man Apart” (####). half of the film shows Vetter walk- Filmed several years before Vin ing the fine line between good and Diesel reached superstardom and evil, between justice and revenge. released on the heels of the huge As the trailer says, he’s “a man with box office success of “XXX,” audi- nothing to live for, and everything ences get the chance to see to fight for.” Hollywood’s latest action star at his Visually, “A Man Apart” looks absolute best, with the emotional as gritty and real as FX hit series depth and gritty realism lacking in “The Shield,” with the emotional most of his other films. With a sup- gray areas to match. The acting is porting cast including Larenz Tate absolutely amazing, as deep and (“Biker Boyz”), Timothy Olyphant real as you can get, especially com- (“Dreamcatcher”), Jacqueline ing from Diesel. His story reels you Obradors (TV’s “NYPD Blue”), in from the start and doesn’t let you Geno Silva (best known as “The go ‘til the end credits roll. No mat- Skull” in “Scarface”), Juan ter how bad he gets, how far he Fernandez (“Talk to Her”), Steve goes, you still find yourself cheer- Eastin (“Catch Me If You Can”), ing for him, much the way televi- and George Sharperson (“Double sion audiences will always be Take”), this film will undoubtedly cheering for “The Shield’s” anti- help propel Vin Diesel from super- Courtesy of New Line Cinema hero Vic Mackey. Overall, this film star to screen legend. Ready, Aim, Fire: Vin Diesel plays former gangster Sean Vetter in a gritty new drama. should definitely receive at least The plot is also a welcome one Oscar nod next year, but even if change. In the past, Vin Diesel flicks of street life to help take care of the drug lowing a party to celebrate the bust, the it doesn’t (which would probably be have little more than excuses for him to problem, which is especially necessary Vetter home is invaded and the intruders because the snobs at the academy can’t show off his talents at extreme sports since they live near the border and have start shooting. Sean takes most of them see past Diesel’s earlier flicks), it is def- (“XXX” being a prime example). Now, to deal with the Mexican drug cartels. out, but is shot himself, as is his wife. He initely a winner in my books and I though many might still deny it, audi- In the beginning, Vetter and his part- wakes up in the hospital only to have would not hesitate to see it again if ences get to see Diesel play a real charac- ner and best friend Demetrius Hicks Demetrius tell him that Stacy didn’t make given the opportunity.

Page 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY April 15, 2003 Sports This Week in Sports Softball Wallops the Quinnipiac Baseball April 15 George Washington at Alumni Field 3 p.m. UMBC baseball has been on a little bit of a role lately and will Bobcats Over the Weekend be looking to avenge a loss at George Washington earlier this season. In the game, the Colonials took an 11-1 decision. ANDREW CHANEY April 18-19 Long Island University at Alumni Field 1 p.m. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff UMBC is third in the NEC at 4-2, in conference, and LIU is fourth with a record of 4-4. Life for head coach Joe French got a little easier this Men’s Lacrosse weekend as the Lady Retrievers picked up three more conference April 15 at Navy 7 p.m. victories. French can settle his Navy still has not won an ECAC game while UMBC is at 1-3, 5- nerves after his softball team dis- 3 overall. mantled Quinnipiac by scores of April 19 at University of Delaware 7:30 p.m. 6-1 and 6-4. The Lady Retrievers The Blue Hens are 0-3 in the Colonial Conference and 5-7 over- split with the Central Connecticut all. This is a non-conference match for UMBC. Blue Devils in Sunday’s action, losing the first, 3-2 and winning Women’s Lacrosse the second, 2-1. Sophomore April 15 Towson University at UMBC Stadium 7 p.m. Kristie Pickeral produced large Towson is 6-5 overall on their season. In their last encounter, scoring sums for her team as she senior Lauren Traber netted the game winner for UMBC with went three for three with a walk in one second remaining. game one against the Devils. April 17 at St. Francis (PA) 1 p.m. Central Connecticut had their Only the top four teams in the conference will play for the title,. way with UMBC in game one as St. Francis is in dead last in the NEC with a record of 0-3. they skidded to a 3-2 victory. The Retrievers picked up a run in the April 19 at Central Connecticut 12 p.m. third inning as Pickeral slapped a This will be the third game for the Retriever squad in five days. single to score sophomore Central Connecticut, like St. Francis (PA), has struggled in the NEC. Amanda Bile. Pickeral tore the cover off the ball going three for Softball three with a walk. UMBC would April 15 Howard University at the UMBC softball field 3 p.m. claw back into the game by tying This is a warm up for UMBC as they will be anticipating two the score up, 2-2, when junior NEC foes later in the week. Sarah Crowell walked with the bases loaded to score senior Joseph May / Retriever Weekly Staff April 18 Sacred Heart at the UMBC softball field 2 p.m. Ready or not: Kristin Dulay takes the mound after coming off a Sacred Heart comes to UMBC for this mid-week conference game see WALLOPS, page 29 torn ACL injury to command the rookie pitching staff. tied for sixth in the NEC. They have a record of 3-3. UMBC is at 3-1. Only the top four schools will make the NEC tournament. April 19 Fairleigh Dickinson University at the UMBC 1 p.m. Women’s Tennis Drops a Pair FDU is another NEC team that has struggled of late. They are at 3-5 on the season, and in tenth place. of Non-Conference Matchups Men’s Tennis April 15 at St. Joseph’s University 3 p.m. ber one single junior Jana The UMBC Men’s squad has been on a tear lately and will look Karaskova and number four sin- to continue winning with a trip up to Philadelphia, Pa. gle freshmen Alessandra Pedergnana made up the April 16 Bucknell at the UMBC courts 3 p.m. Retriever’s two singles wins. Of all the matches this week for the men, this is the only home one. Both were faced with tough oppo- April 17 at West Virginia University TBA nents, as their matches were two This is the third straight day that UMBC will be in competition. of the four that went into a third WVU has fought to a 9-11 record this season, including a win tiebreaker set. After a loss in the over College Park. first set 3-6 to WestVa’s Melissa April 21 at University of Delaware 3 p.m. Day, Karaskova dominated the On this day they travel with the women back up I-95 to face the next two sets 6-3 and 6-4. Blue Hens. The Hens are 10-12 for their season. Pedergnana won the first and third set to win the match, 6-1, 2-6, and Women’s Tennis 6-4, against sophomore Anna Underwood. Senior captain Anita April 16 at Mount St. Mary’s TBA David Landgren / Retriever Weekly Staff Pushpanathan and sophomore The women have a little lighter load then the men this week, and Player of the Week: Lina Khvalina is one of several athletes rec- Aimee Lim were UMBC’s other play two away matches. ognized this spring for outstanding play. ladies to go into a tiebreaker on April 21 at University of Delaware Saturday. Delaware, who faces three UMBC teams this week, comes into KATHLEEN JACKSON singles and two doubles matches In doubles action Saturday, the contest with a record of 7-8. That record includes a 4-0 con- Retriever Weekly Senior Writer in their loss to West Virginia Karaskova and Pedergnana made ference mark. University 3-4. Sunday’s away up the number two pair, each This weekend the women’s match was met with similar walking away with win number Track tennis team faced two losses, after results, as they brought home a 3- two of the day, 8-3. Pushpanathan The men and women of the track team have been traveling long a season that has been full of 4 loss to Florida Atlantic and Lim defeated UVA’s number and far for their meets since they opened with the Big Dawg wins. Saturday, at home, the Lady University. Invitational. Today they have a relatively short trip to Baltimore. Retrievers successfully took two Against West Virginia, num- see DROPS, page 31 There, they will participate in the Morgan State Invitational. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 29 Track and Field Competes in the Virginia Invitational Huguens Jean Sets New UMBC High Jump Record and Three Retrievers Qualify for IC4A’s

JOHN FRANCE Jean’s teammate, junior Edward 14 participants. Freshman Nathan Dixon Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Wagner finished the high jump event in jumped 15-00.003 in the pole vault for a second place, having jumped 6-09.5 fourth place finish. In his first high jump of the out- which was good enough to allow him to On the women’s side, senior Ohita door season, senior Huguens Jean hit join Jean on the IC4A qualifying list. Asein bested 54 other runners to finish the NCAA Regional qualifying mark Freshman Adam Grossman rounds the 800-meter run in fourth place with a with a 7-01.5 jump which won him the out the Retrievers’ IC4A list with a time of 2:11.75. In the 400-meter hur- event at the University of Virginia 10.691 performance in the 100-meter dles, sophomore Alesia Hovatler com- Invitational this past Saturday. Jean’s dash for a fourth place finish out of 31 pleted the event in 1:05.54 for a sixth indoor season concluded with a trip to other competitors. Grossman just missed place finish out of 20 competitors. the NCAA’s where he finished in tenth qualifying for the IC4A’s in the 200- Sophomore Dellisa Williams finished place. Jean’s impressive mark also meter dash by two seconds, where he ran 12th out of 33 runners with a time of broke the old UMBC high jump record 21.72 for a second place finish. 58.78 in the 400-meter dash. and qualified him for the IC4A’s. In the 1,500-meter run, freshman In the 4 x 400-meter relay, the The men’s track and field squad Izzy Mehmedovic beat out 61 other run- UMBC teams faired well. The women’s finished third overall at the meet out ners to finish in 3:50.91. Junior Greg B team ran 3:56.46 for a second place of 20 schools, managing 56 total Saylor finished third in the 5000-meter finish and the women’s A team ran points. The hosts claimed first place run with a time of 15:17.32. In the 3:57.55 for a third place finish. David Landgren/ Retriever Weekly Staff with 148 total points. The women’s 3,000-meter steeplechase, freshman The squads will see action again on Incoming: Tyishua Johnson and the track track and field squad concluded the Chris Baumler finished the event in Saturday April 19, as they head to and field squad hit big marks. meet in 11th place. 9:52.87 for an eighth place finish out of Morgan State. Softball Bites Bobcats Women’s LAX Continues from WALLOPS, page 28 fielder’s choice. Pickeral hit a towering Abbie Kahn. Freshman Amy Sadowl took sacrifice fly to score Hebb and then Kahn to Play Well in NEC the loss when Devil’s freshman Kristin got on base to score Boone. Kahn eventu- Rozanski drove in the winning run in the ally came around to score as Seamon from DOMINATES, page 36 seventh inning. reached on an error. In the seventh inning spread, Allen scored twice, freshman Kate Freshman fireballer Lauren Nicholson things didn’t get any easier for the Bobcats came on and scored three of UMBC’s last Worthington got on the board along with gave the Dawgs some solid innings in game as UMBC scored three more times to push four goals in the half. Senior tri-captain sophomore Annie Davis. Hess scored the two to pick up win number eight of the sea- the lead to six. Pickeral did most of the Stephanie Allen added the fourth. Allen had last goal, her fifth, to lead all scorers. son. Nicholson continues to amaze oppos- damage with an RBI single and a run a phenomenal all-round day. As UMBC’s After a slow start to the year, during ing batters with her underhand heat. Bile scored. Sadowl went seven strong innings principle draw taker, she helped the which the team faced several top ranked scored the first run of the contest as to pick up the conference victory. Retrievers to a 19-8 advantage in that area. teams, the Retrievers have turned things Pickeral doubled to the gap. Soon after The Lady Retrievers ran away with Allen also led the team with four caused around. Now, they look to finish out the Pickeral delivered a timely hit, junior Jen the second game with a 6-4 win. Seamon turnovers. NEC season on top. “Although we have had SanFilippo cranked out a fourth inning displayed her left-handed stroke with two At the break, UMBC led by eight, 12- a tough season so far, we kept a positive double to score sophomore Lara Seamon hits and a run scored while Boone 4. After the break, they would add two more attitude,” said junior Tracie McClintic. with the game winner. Senior Lisa Boone knocked in three RBI’s to help out. to the difference. “Today marked the first day of our new sea- singled to right center in the game as she Recently, Boone was honored as NEC Less than a minute into the half, senior son. We look forward to finishing out this went one for three and senior Christy Softball Player of the Week after hitting at tri-captain Lauren Traber scored a UMBC season 6-0.” Sheppard also had a hit in three plate a .625 clip. The senior star continues to do goal. However, Quinnipiac responded with The scariest moment for the team appearances. UMBC totaled five hits and wonderful things for her team as she goes three straight tallies. The effort was too lit- came with about three minutes left in the two runs in the victory. into the history books with 14 all-time tle too late, and the Bobcats were not able to game. During an attempted clear, senior Saturday’s action turned out to be a triples. She also holds the top spot in continue to play with the Dawgs. tri-captain and starting goalie Courtney thriller for the UMBC coaching staff in a UMBC history with 51 doubles and 73 With the pace of the game slowing Stringer went down with what looked to be double dip drubbing of Quinnipiac. It took extra base hits. Pickeral also helped the greatly, the Retrievers held the ball for long an injured left leg. After receiving treat- the Dawgs six innings to figure out how to UMBC cause with 2 RBI’s. UMBC scored periods of time and began to work the clock. ment on the field, Stringer continued for handle the Bobcat pitching, and they did in six runs and had seven hits in this NEC Each possession led to a good shot, and the the rest of the game. However, when the a big way scoring three runs in the sixth battle. Bobcats tired. With about 18 minutes left in final buzzer sounded, she needed to be and three in the seventh. Hebb started The softball squad now stands with a the game to only six remaining, this deliber- helped off of the field. Recently, Stringer things off with a double to right and then record of 6-2 in NEC play and faces off ate attack led to five UMBC goals to close has put together several impressive games Boone came to the plate and reached on a against Sacred Heart at 2 p.m. on Friday. out the Retriever scoring. During the for the Retrievers. Athleteof theWeek: Mike Orlando by Nick Chrest Any good baseball team needs a first game, in addition All in all, for team in hits, and has five of the team’s solid lead off hitter to get on base and to one run and three the year, Orlando is 36 doubles, good for second place. set the stage for the rest of the lineup. RBI. Next came Sacred at .286, but has real- Finally, Orlando is also second place Since early on, sophomore Mike Heart. After the team ly come on of late. on the team with 35 total bases on the Orlando has been that man for the split the first two From the one spot in season. Retrievers. Orlando began the season games, Orlando keyed the lineup, he has In the field, the Rochester, NY hitting in the bottom third of the order, the UMBC attack in the most at bats of native patrols the outfield for the but was moved up and has been a solid the third, contributing all the Retrievers, Dawgs. A versitile player, he frequent- contributer ever since. to a 7-1 win. Orlando despite playing in ly plays in both center and right field. During a recent three game series led off the game with a only 20 of the 22 Orlando is sure handed out where the with the Wagner Seahawks, Orlando triple, and was brought games. Like any long grass grows. He has 37 put outs torched the NEC foe’s pitching staff. in to score when senior good lead off hitter, with three assists and only one out. The Seahawks, on the season, came to catcher Scott Komisky he gets around the This season, the team started slow, Alumni Field holding opposing batters homered to left. Later, bases every way but has turned things around. to only a .226 batting average. But in the UMBC half of possible. Orlando is Currently, they hold a 6-3 record in the Orlando exploded for a .500 mark. He the fourth, Orlando a perfect four for NEC. Howver, UMBC has won five of went six for 12 over the three games doubled in senior Chris Christina Han / Retriever Weekly Staff four in stolen base the last six conference matchups, in with four runs and three runs batted in. Yetter to give the Retrievers their fifth attempts and leads the team with 13 runs large part to Orlando’s efforts during The six for 12 included a 4-4 day in the run. scored. Orlando is currently third on the the Wagner and Sacred Heart series. Page 30 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS April 15, 2003

Current Women’s Lacrosse Standings as of 4/12/03: Conference Wrap Up: Weekly Poll: Conference Overall Q: Should the athletic wins losses draws wins losses draws streak This season marks Long Islands’ department reinstate the rookie year in NEC women’s golf program? 1.Monmouth 3 0 0 4 5 0 W2 lacrosse action. Monmouth swept Sacred Heart 3 1 0 7 4 0 L1 the NEC awards for the week end- 3.UMBC 2 1 0 3 7 0 W1 ing 4/7. Senior Lisa Cherill won Yes 4.Quinnipiac 3 2 0 6 5 0 L2 Player of the Week for posting No Wagner 3 2 0 4 7 0 W1 three points against the Mount 6.Long Island 1 2 0 1 4 0 L1 and setting the tone on the defen- Email answer to: 7.Central Conn. 1 3 0 2 4 0 W1 sive line that allowed for the [email protected] Mt. St. Mary’s 1 3 0 4 9 0 W1 upset over UMBC. Freshman Erica Evangelisti earned Rookie of the Week for hat trick performances Who’s Hot against the Mount and UMBC. Joe Novotny of men’s tennis for receiving two NEC Player Current Men’s Lacrosse Standings as of 4/12/03: Conference Wrap Up: of the Week awards so far in the spring season. Back in the Conference Overall For the week ending 4/7, senior fall season, he also recorded a wins losses draws wins losses draws streak Chris Fiore of UMass took home ECAC Offensive Player of the Week pair of NEC Player of the 1. Georgetown 3 0 0 8 0 0 W8 honors for managing four points Week awards. 2. Rutgers 2 0 0 9 2 0 W1 for the eighth hat trick of his career Who’s Not 3. Mass 2 1 0 9 1 0 W2 in the win over UMBC. Sophomore 4. Penn State 2 2 0 4 5 0 W3 Bill Schell of UMass earned ECAC The eighth ranked North 5. UMBC 1 3 0 6 3 0 W2 Defensive Player of the Week for a Carolina Tar Heels’ men’s 6. Navy 0 4 0 4 6 0 L4 65.2 save percentage against lacrosse team for falling 8-10 UMBC. He has saved over 50 per- to UMBC on Saturday. cent in every game this year. Freshman Ian Dingman of Navy won ECAC Rookie of the Week for Last Week’s leading his squad in scoring in the win over College Park. Weekly Poll: Q: Should collegiate athletes Current Softball Standings as of 4/12/03: Conference Wrap Up: get paid? Conference Overall Last season Long Island clinched the wins losses draws wins losses draws streak regular season title, but it was UMBC who claimed the tournament champi- Yes 25% 1. Long Island 4 0 0 11 14 0 W5 onship and advanced into the second No 75% 2. UMBC 5 1 0 19 16 0 W2 round of the NCAA. For the week 3. Monmouth 3 1 0 7 13 0 L1 ending 4/7, senior Lisa Boone took 4. St.Francis (PA) 5 4 0 8 21 0 W1 home NEC Player of the Week for bat- 5. Mt. St. Mary’s 2 2 0 6 10 0 W1 ting .625 and leading UMBC to three Sacred Heart 3 3 0 8 17 0 W1 conference victories. Junior Melisa Flanagan Wagner 4 4 0 7 16 0 L1 Reynolds of Quinnipiac earned NEC Robert Morris 4 4 0 7 24 0 L1 Pitcher of the Week for going 2-0 on the mound last week. Freshmen Kali Comes Up Byers of Robert Morris received Rookie of the Week for posting five hits. Strong in Net Current Baseball Standings as of 4/12/03: Conference Wrap Up: Again Conference Overall from KICKS, page 36 wins losses draws wins losses draws streak For the week ending 4/7, junior Anthony Valvano of Long Island Flanagan made several critical saves, 1. St. Francis (NY) 5 1 0 6 7 1 W1 took home NEC Player of the Week bringing the boisterous crowd to its feet. 2. Central Conn 7 2 0 13 7 1 L1 for batting .467 (7-15) to aid in the The last few minutes of the game saw the 3. UMBC 4 2 0 6 13 0 W3 Blackbirds posting a 4-0 record last Tar Heels desperately trying to mount a 4. Quinnipac 4 3 0 7 12 0 W2 week. Junior Barry Hertzler of comeback. Trying to score the game-tying 5. Long Island 4 4 0 9 11 0 L1 Central Conn. won his second con- goal, UNC was pressing every time down Monmouth 3 3 0 5 16 0 L1 secutive NEC Pitcher of the Week the field. The Dawgs needed someone to 7.Sacred Heart 3 5 0 7 15 0 W1 award for pitching all 11 innings in step up and take the pressure off of Fairleigh Dickinson 3 5 0 3 14 0 L5 the win against Monmouth. Flanagan. As he did earlier, Grillo provid- Freshmen Isaac Friedel earned the ed a critical goal with 1:58 left to play in NEC Rookie of the Week award for the game. With the Dawgs up by two and batting .571 (8-14) in UMBC’s three things seemingly in hand, Flanagan contin- game sweep of Wagner. ued to provide the fans with thrills. The Heels did not give up until the horn sound- ed, scrambling to get within one goal again. Flanagan continued to make his case for conference defensive player of the week, which would be his second of the season, making two more athletic saves to cap off a memorable game for him. The game ended as it had begun, with the crowd giving the Dawgs a standing ova- tion. The UMBC men’s lacrosse team resumes conference play on April 15, trav- eling to Annapolis to take on Navy at 7 p.m. They will be entering the game with a disappointing ECAC record of 1-3. The battle tested Retrievers should be able to improve on that record come Tuesday. April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 31 Tennis Fights West Virginia

from DROPS, page 28 week award of her career and moves to a three doubles team 8-6. 31-5 record for her two-year career at On Sunday, UMBC faced 67th ranked UMBC. Florida Atlantic University at the neutral UMBC’s number one spot Karaskova site of Virginia Tech. Of the 3-4 final score did not go down without a fight against the all three wins came from singles matches 70th nationally ranked Alena Dvorakova 6- from the four, five, and six spots. 3, 6-1. Newcomer Pedergnana continued to make While these two losses left the Lady an impression as she went 2-0 for the week- Retrievers out of the national rankings this end defeating FAU’s Stephanie Beaulieu 6- week, they are the four-time NEC champs 0, 6-0. Sophomore Lana Khvalina, after and are still confident as the NCAA tourna- being the lone Retriever last week to win a ment approaches. “This was one of our match in the loss to University of toughest weekends of our schedule. It should Cincinnati, continued her winning ways in not be hard to turn things around,” felt senior the number five spot defeating FAU’s captain Pushpanathan. The women will com- Krystel Borg. Last week, Khavila was hon- pete next at NEC rival Mount Saint Mary’s ored with the second NEC player of the on Wednesday, April 16. Page 32 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS April 15, 2003 April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 33 April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 34 Page 35 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY April 15, 2003 Classifieds build.com 110 MISCELLANEOUS †BARTENDER TRAINEES Egg donors wanted, women ages NEEDED. $250 a day potential. 19-32; all ethnic backgrounds Local positions. 1-800-293-3985 encouraged to apply. Excellent x146 compensation. Call 541.266.8284 or visit www.creatingnewgenera- EMS PROVIDERS MONEY & tions.com SEX Now that I have your atten- tion we are now hire EMS Come to the Anime Society\’s 24- providers for actual emergency hour anime marathon on Friday, April work, No bs private ambulance. 18 at 6 PM in lecture Hall 5. This Use your skills, make contacts, event is free and open to the public! have tons of fun. We need the best. University Center 214 http://sta.umbc.edu/orgs/anime If you think you are up for the Chess Club meets every Friday challenge Call (410) 247 - 8403 1000 Hilltop Circle afternoon 4-6pm in Commons 318 Lifeguards, pool operators, super- Baltimore, MD 21250 for informal games, conversation, visors, top pay, training avaiable (410) 455-1260 and instruction. Everyone is wel- summer & indoor pools, full & come, from beginner to grandmas- part time 410-247-7665 Mon.-Fri. 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. ter. www.umbc.edu/chess, Classifieds may be placed online by [email protected], x8499 PT Outdoor Photographer— PT/on call, trans. provided. Must going to 300 EMPLOYMENT be familiar w/ Balto area & have good driving record. Offices www.universaladvertising.com. WOMEN EARN $3,000-$4,000 VERY close to UMBC. Call BE AN EGG DONOR FOR AN Sahrah @ 410-247-8728. INFERTILE COUPLE. HEALTHY, MATURE, AGE 20- 500 PERSONALS 29, AVG WEIGHT. 2-WK PT COMMITMENT. CONFIDEN- Europe Study Abroad Programs. 30 words free per week! in section 100-ANNOUNCEMENTS Explore England, Spain, Italy, Club Notices TIALITY. FAMILY BUILDING visit trw.umbc.edu/ads CENTER, INC. 410-296-5126 Ireland, France. TOWSON, MD www.family- [email protected] April 15, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 36

Huguens Jean sets new high jump record 29 Softball wins Quinnipiac series 28 Sports Women’s tennis drops a pair 28 UMBC Men’s Lacrosse Kicks Eighth Ranked Tar Heels

AMIT CHAND chipped away at an early deficit onds left in the first half. Going Retriever Weekly Staff Writer before going ahead for good with a into halftime with the score tied at little over ten minutes to play in the 4-4, the Dawgs had all the momen- After a comeback which fourth quarter. tum going into halftime. would have left many teams with With this being the last home The second half saw more of nothing left in the tank, the game for the 10 UMBC seniors, it Flanagan’s solid goal keeping. Retrievers managed to hold off the was only fitting that senior mid- With their defense managing to sti- Tar Heels long enough to get the fielder Adam Shiley, along with fle the Heels, UMBC went up 6-5 victory by a score of 10–8. The win Flanagan’s strong goalkeeping, in the third quarter. Retriever soph- is the second in a row for UMBC came up big by tying his career omore Phil Grillo put the Heels over top ten competitions. “[We] high with three goals. Shiley down by two, 8-6, with his first have had a tough stretch of games,” scored the first point 1:39 into the goal of the day less than a minute head coach Don Zimmerman game to give the Dawgs an early into the forth quarter. However, the pointed out after last week’s disap- lead. It would be all UNC from Tar Heels, sensing a chink in the pointing loss to UMass. It has not there on until well into the second armor of Flanagan, started to attack gotten any easier since, with quarter. With the UMBC defense with low balls. They were success- UMBC matching up against rival on their heels, UNC scored four ful, scoring two goals all in 20 sec- Towson and UNC. UMBC straight unanswered goals. For onds, both going through the legs outscored North Carolina 6-4 in the much of the second quarter the of Flanagan. The UNC rally was second half after a sluggish first Dawgs failed to muster up any short lived. With the score tied at half that saw both teams play to a offensive threat. A quick rally eight, senior Josh Gerber, the lead- 4-4 draw. With the victory at home before the end of the first half ing scorer on the Retriever squad, on Senior Day, UMBC’s record brought the Dawgs back within one scored two goals within a two- stands at 6-3, 4-1 on the road, while goal with only seconds to go. After minute span to take the lead for the Tar Heels fall to 5-5. Led by a scramble for the ball in front of good. UNC threatened to tie the Christina Han / Retriever Weekly Staff senior goalie Tim Flanagan’s 19 Tar Heel goalie Paul Spellman, game late in the forth quarter but Victory is ours: Men’s lacrosse jumps in celebration of their big saves, including several in spectac- UMBC junior Franklin Berry man- time win over North Carolina on Saturday. ular fashion, the Retrievers slowly aged to score a goal with eight sec- see KICKS, page 30 Men’s Tennis Squad’s Women’s Lacrosse Dominates Momentum Continues Bobcats in NEC Match decisive victory by besting freshman Lauren Hess Leads in Scoring With Five Goals JOHN FRANCE Edward Hughes, 6-1 and 6-0. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff The Retrievers dominated the double’s division by claiming two NICK CHREST Junior Josef Novotny won his out of the three contests. The pair of Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff fourth match in a row on Saturday to Baraldi and Novotny won, 8-4 aid the men’s tennis squad in knock- against Ballester and freshman UMBC is used to beating ing off George Mason, 6-1. In three Stephan Dufils. Kouznetsov and Quinnipiac in women’s lacrosse. years of collegiate action Novotny Tyler fell, 5-8 to Bainton and Akalin In fact, UMBC holds a 5-0 edge has managed a 28-5 career singles but sophomore Albert Hardja and in the series. Sunday afternoon, record. For the week ending April 8, Keller picked up a victory over behind an offensive outburst that the NEC once again acknowledged Ramallo and Hughes. was keyed by four straight first his stellar play with his second NEC This win improves UMBC’s half goals from junior Lauren Player of the Week honor of the overall record to 5-10, where as Hess, the Retrievers made it 6-0 spring season. George Mason’s overall record with a 18-8 victory. Novotny defeated his George dropped to 1-5. Complications with Despite two Quinnipiac runs, Mason counter part, junior Augusto weather forced the cancellation of the one in each half, UMBC dominat- Ballester with scores of 6-4 and 6-3. Dawg’s match with Villanova. The ed the game from start to finish. In the number two singles spot, jun- Retrievers return home on The UMBC attack held the ball ior Mikhail Kouznetsov bested soph- Wednesday April 16, to battle for long stretches and used crisp omore Tim Bainton 6-0 and 6-4. This Bucknell University. UMBC’s home passing to open up the Bobcat marked the back-to-back All-NEC court record stands at 2-3. defenders and get high percentage performer’s second con- shots. On defense, the Retriever David Landgren / Retriever Weekly Staff secutive win. Freshman midfield gave the Bobcats fits In the thick of things: Laruen Traber (15), a senior captian, James Tyler fell to fresh- when the Connecticut team tried helps to keep pressure on the Bobcat defense. man Gabriel Costa, 3-6 to clear. If they made it through and 6-7. However, junior there, the UMBC defense made a goal from freshman Kristen had a 6-1 lead. Dragoni then Luis Baraldi in the num- life tough for any Bobcat in front Oldenburg. Oldenburg matched scored her last goal of the after- ber four spot shifted the of the net. Dragoni’s goal output on the day noon, just before Quinnipiac tide back in UMBC’s Just three minutes in, junior to lead the Bobcat effort. scored two straight in an attempt- favor with a win over Jen Dragoni got the Retrievers This would be the last time ed comeback. After seeing the sophomore Cern Akalin started. The free position shot was the Bobcats would ever be close UMBC lead cut to four, sopho- with scores of, 6-1 and 6- one of three goals on the day for to UMBC. Two minutes later, more Annie Davis scored the first 4. Freshman Djan the attacker, who continues to Dragoni netted her second. Less Retriever goal by someone not Dusmao put senior Jorge Joseph May / Retriever Weekly Staff lead the team in that category than a minute after that, Hess got named Hess or Dragoni. Ramallo away, 6-1 and 6- Poetry in motion: Luis Baraldi and the with 21. After Dragoni’s goal, her first. For the next seven min- Freshman standout Kelly Fiorani 0. Freshman Michael men’s tennis team prove they are masters Quinnipiac managed to gain a utes, Hess would dominate. By Keller followed Dusmao’s of their realm by notching two home wins. possession and tied the game with the time she was finished, UMBC see DOMINATES, page 29