Humanistic Judaism Magazine SHJ@50! Looking Back at Our First Half-Century of Jewish and Humanistic Meaning The Next 50 Years of Humanistic Judaism by Paul Golin EXPAND

EXISTING MODELS Living Without God CREATE by Ronald Aronson NEW

PARADIGMS Why Ritual and Ceremony Matter by Richard D. Logan and Rabbi Jeremy Kridel

Community News and much more

Spring 2019 Table of Contents From the Editor Tributes, Board of Directors, p. 3 Communities In This Issue p. 22–24

The Next 50 Years of Humanistic Judaism Contributors II Ronald Aronson is Distinguished Professor p. 4–7 Emeritus at Wayne State University. He is the author A Mission-Driven Movement and editor of numerous books, including Living “Judaism Without God: New Directions for Atheists, Agnostics, by Paul Golin Beyond and the Undecided and Camus and Sartre: The Story of a Friendship and the Quarrel That Ended It. Living Without God God” II Darlene Basch is past president of Machar and serves as the congregation’s representative on the p. 8–9, 14 SHJ Board. Book Excerpt II Ruth Duskin Feldman, z’l, was a former long-time by Ronald Aronson editor of Humanistic Judaism, a madrikha, and member of Kol Hadash Humanistic Congregation. II Margo Fox is past president of the St. Paul, MN, Why Ritual and Ceremony Matter School Board and a past president of Or Emet. p. 10–13 II Paul Golin is the executive director of the Society for Humanistic Judaism. Ritual and Ceremony as Affirmation II Jeremy Kridel is the rabbi of Machar, The by Richard D. Logan, Ph.D. and Washington Congregation for Secular Humanistic Rabbi Jeremy Kridel Judaism, and is editor of Humanistic Judaism. II Jon Levine is a member of Kahal B’raira, Greater Boston’s Congregation for Humanistic Judaism. How Sherwin Wine Built the Fifth II Richard D. Logan is a past president of Or Emet Branch of Judaism and current president of the SHJ board. II Gladys Maged is the Administrator at Kahal B’raira, p. 15–17 Greater Boston’s Congregation for Humanistic Book Excerpt Judaism. by Ruth Duskin Feldman II Sheila Malcolm is the madrikha at Beth Ami, Colorado Congregation for Humanistic Judaism and its representative to the SHJ Board. Community News II Dave Shafer has been a very active member of the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism of Fairfield p. 18–21 County, CT for the last 43 years. Or Emet; Beth Ami, Colorodo Congregation for Humanistic Judaism; Kahal B’raira; Machar, The Washington Congregation for Secular Humanistic Judaism; Congregation for Humanistic Judaism—Fairfield County

Cover Page Graphic: Courtesy of Starder on freedesignfile.com

2 Humanistic Judaism From the Editor Welcome to an exciting issue of Humanistic Judaism magazine! This issue goes to press as the Society for Humanistic Judaism prepares to celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of its founding. As you may already know, the Society will be marking this occasion with a weekend-long conference, SHJ@50, at the Birmingham Temple, our movement’s founding congregation. This month, we have included articles especially suited to this important moment for Secular Humanistic Judaism. In his article, SHJ Executive Director Paul Golin writes about our movement’s future. What will the next fifty years bring? How can we focus on the goal of improving people’s lives and making the world a better place? How does our vision of a cultural and humanistic approach to Judaism advance that goal? The answers will depend on how well the Society’s leaders and affiliates are able to focus on defining and pursuing the mission of Humanistic Judaism as a movement, as well as a denomination. Also in this issue, we are fortunate to have an excerpt from Professor Ronald Aronson’s book, Living Without God. Professor Aronson presents a way for us as individuals to understand how becoming older calls upon us to remember who we are, by recommitting ourselves to what makes us vital while avoiding becoming self-parody. Professor Aronson closes his article with a new afterword in which he shares new insights nearly a decade after writing Living Without God. Golin’s and Professor Aronson’s articles remind us that at both the individual and institutional levels, remaining relevant is about recommitting to the things that create meaning and purpose in our lives and in the world. At every stage of life, whether as individuals or as communities, we make meaning in part by marking important moments through ritual and ceremony. This issue features an article about that topic by Richard Logan, Ph.D., President of the Society for Humanistic Judaism, and Rabbi Jeremy Kridel. (Rabbi Kridel is editor of this magazine.) Drawing on insights from anthropological studies, their article considers how ritual and ceremony help mark important moments and create senses of purpose and belonging. The article also considers how Secular Humanistic Judaism can benefit from ritual and ceremony without overdoing it. This issue of Humanistic Judaism also features community news from around the movement, with contributions focused on how community anniversaries can be made meaningful, and how changing what we do to focus on our mission can help us remain relevant as things change around us. All of this is to say: SHJ is celebrating fifty years with a renewed focus on the mission of Humanistic Judaism today and into the future! J. M. K.

Humanistic Judaism Magazine is published quarterly by the ­Society for Humanistic Judaism, a non-profit organization, 28611 Editor: West Twelve Mile Road, Farmington Hills, Michigan 48334, (248) 478-7610, [email protected], www.shj.org. Two issues are printed Rabbi Jeremy M. Kridel and mailed, and all four are mailed electronically to subscribers and members of the Society for Humanistic Judaism, and later added to the SHJ website’s archives. Community News: Deb Godden All material © Copyright 2018 by the Society for Humanistic Judaism. No portion of this work may be reprinted or copied without written permission of the publisher. Graphic Design: Raya Kridel Subscription Rates: $25.00 per year. Canadian Subscriptions $31.00. Overseas Subscriptions $43.00 per year (U.S. Dollars). No refunds. Sample copies available at single issue price plus postage. Additional copies of a single issue are available from the Editorial Board: Society for Humanistic Judaism at the cover price plus postage. Address all inquiries and subscriptions to Humanistic Judaism, Rabbi Adam Chalom 28611 West Twelve Mile Road, Farmington Hills, Michigan 48334. Listed in Index to Jewish Periodicals, American Jewish Year- Rabbi Jeffrey Falick book, Encyclopedia of Associations, Standard Periodical Directory, American Theological Library Association Religion Database. Paul Golin Rabbi Miriam Jerris Manuscripts are welcome and may be sent to [email protected]. Word documents preferred.

ISSN 0441-4195 Spring 2019 3 The Next 50 by Paul Golin Years of HumanisticA Mission-Driven Judaism Movement

Since its founding a half-century ago, the now all past peak membership. (And before you buy into organizing model for Humanistic Judaism has been as Orthodox triumphalism, understand that their alleged a congregational denomination. Jewish congregational exponential growth has netted them a whopping 2% denominations are often referred to as “movements,” but over a quarter century, going from 8% of all Jews in 1990 what are they really moving? I’d argue very little, these according to the National Jewish Population Survey to days. They all started as genuine movements, though, 10% of all Jews in 2013, according to the Pew Research and what they were trying to accomplish is right there in Center.) their names. Disaffiliation doesn’t just affect Judaism: most liberal Reform Judaism was on a mission to, well, reform religious streams in America are in decline. A growing Judaism. It worked brilliantly—so much so that number of Americans are disaffiliating from organized Conservative Judaism emerged out of shocked reaction religion altogether. That seems like it could be good to just how far Reform reformed. That movement news for Humanistic Judaism as a secular movement, sought to conserve more tradition. That worked too, and the potential is there, but we are currently organized and Conservative Judaism was the dominant American as a religion, albeit a non-theistic one. That is a hurdle denomination for several decades. Reconstructionist we can overcome through clarifying our mission. Judaism’s mission is also in their name. To get back to an Today, most of the individual synagogues that are emphasis on their mission, they recently unveiled a new growing in any denomination are growing because they name, Reconstructing Judaism. (Upon learning this, I are mission-driven. All non-profit organizations that imagined rebranding our movement to “Humanizing are growing—including within the secular ecosystem Judaism”!) like American Atheists and American Humanist What seems to happen when movements succeed Association—are growing because they are on a mission. is that they then calcify. Having found something that Even for congregational denominations, a revival works, they just keep working it. When it no longer of mission has worked in the past. The Reform works as well, it becomes very difficult to change course, movement had a rebirth in the 1980s when it changed in part because it still works for the leaders. After all, policies, trained professionals and lay leaders, created that is why they are still there! The folks for whom it departments, and launched new programs, all on the does not work have already left, or never entered. mission of engaging interfaith families. Through this Understanding why people are disaffiliating from mission of inclusion, Reform regained the mantle of organized Judaism is essential, and complicated. largest U.S.-based Jewish denomination, and it retains Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, and that position to this day. Humanistic Judaism all peaked at different times but are Is Humanistic Judaism on a mission? Or have we, too, calcified? 4 Humanistic Judaism Having visited almost all our congregations during spiritually are pushing back on the emotionally-dead my first two years at the Society for Humanistic Judaism, synagogue experiences of so many of our childhoods. I have found committed leaders—most of whom are Their mission is to passionately move people, usually generously giving of their time as volunteers—who through great music, participatory singing, dancing in care deeply about Humanistic Judaism and want to the aisles, or through fervent prayers. “keep it going.” Continuity for At first blush, it would continuity’s sake, however, seem that intentional is not a mission. What is not spirituality is off the table for being articulated well enough Humanistic Judaism. Some is the “WHY?” Why do we of our members will not even want to keep it going? What use the word “spiritual,” lest it does it do for us? What is the imply a belief in supernatural positive change it makes in the spirits. But there is great world? growth potential in “secular Folks on the outside spirituality,” as long as we define have not yet experienced our terms. And in many ways, the meaning and benefit of it should already be happening. Humanistic Judaism, and the Because after all, Shabbat traditional congregational services and Jewish holiday approach of “join first, then celebrations are essential you’ll get it,” has grown increasingly ineffective for all offerings in almost all congregations with Humanistic denominations. We need to demonstrate it, live it, give Judaism. Do they work? Do they achieve their goal? pieces of it away for free (“outreach”), and articulate why What is the goal of Shabbat services? That is a we are doing it, every step of the way. question some in our communities may have never As I see it, the “why” we do it is because Judaism, asked of themselves but should. Offering programming Humanism, and Humanistic Judaism improve people’s simply because that is what we are “supposed to do”— lives and makes the world a better place. That is the perhaps as perfunctory ritual before getting to the main broad articulation of our mission, and I am excited to purpose of the gathering, like a guest speaker or potluck advance it. dinner—is not a mission-driven approach to Shabbat. The specifics of exactly how Humanistic Judaism While there are various, equally-valid notions about improves lives and makes the world a better place are the mission of Shabbat services, for me it is to help what we must articulate for each and every program and people feel better afterwards than they did before they event we offer—if not in writing on the marketing itself arrived. It is to make a purposeful, mindful break from (though that is a good practice), then at least internally the stress of the work week into a weekend calm; to help for ourselves, our leaders, and fellow members. We all us connect to loved ones, family, and friends—ideally in need to be on the mission together. person, though also to remember lost loved ones; and to feel thankful for what we’ve got. Shabbat can help put Growth Through the Congregational Mission our week and our lives into perspective, and it ideally The few synagogues in America that are currently provides inspiration. experiencing growth are doing so mostly along two These practices of mindfulness and gratitude have broad missions: social justice and what is often called scientifically-measurable health benefits. Meditation “intentional spirituality.” (Having a charismatic leader and yoga studios have exploded in popularity because also helps, as does being in a city that Jews are moving people are seeking pathways to the very practices already into rather than away from.) baked into the source code of our religion. Humanistic A social justice mission is about mobilizing Judaism today is uniquely poised to reclaim such congregational members to action on various causes. offerings without asking people to say anything religious Other activities that may seem tangential to social they do not agree with. This could be an exciting aspect justice, such as prayer services or youth education, are of our mission. If this is the goal for Shabbat services, is tied in (at times) to the mission. Everyone involved that how it currently works in our communities? If not, understands what the goals are and becomes energized what needs to change? about making positive change in their larger community. Some may ask why Shabbat services cannot just Congregations with the mission of intentional be a nice social occasion for like-minded people to get Spring 2019 5 together. After all, “community” is an essential aspect of in the U.S. capital, Jeremy Kridel (ed. note: Rabbi Kridel Humanistic Judaism. It is, but just having a community is also editor of this magazine), participates in Lobby is not a strong enough mission in and of itself. People do Days and represents our movement regularly with not need a non-profit to help them organize themselves allies in the wider Jewish social justice movement and for purely social activities. What tends to happen when the secular and humanistic movement. And last year, events are primarily about community is that a club- SHJ launched a social justice initiative called Jews for like feel is fostered, making it difficult for newcomers a Secular Democracy (www.JFASD.org), to defend the to break in. To me, community is instead what happens separation of religion and government from a Jewish organically when like-minded people are on a mission perspective, an issue with near-unanimous support in together. our movement. That said, the social aspect could be the mission, if Growth Beyond the Congregational Model genuinely embraced as a mission. For example, there is growing recognition of a “loneliness epidemic” in Whether the focus is on intentional spirituality America, particularly as people age. Our communities or social justice or some other stated mission, when could take on the mission to defeat loneliness, by making a movement is on a mission, it becomes more than a sure all social activities were purposely geared toward collection of congregations: it becomes a cause. And engaging new people along with existing members, and people support causes, still. by proactively taking the programs out to where people Humanistic Judaism is a cause. We are on a mission. are (retirement communities, libraries, Starbucks) By being mission-driven, our relationship to members rather than expecting newcomers to find their way into and the wider community modernizes. We replace (or our programming on their own. The mission would need augment) the traditional congregational pitch of “please to be clearly articulated, through messaging to insiders pay us so you can receive the meaning and benefits” with and newcomers, with specific goals and benchmarks the cause-based appeal of “please support us so others established to measure our success. can experience the meaning you’ve already benefited A social justice mission might seem a more natural from.” Members become the drivers of our mission, fit for Humanistic Judaism than intentional spirituality, their engagement and support an essential component but politics are considered too divisive in some of our in the mission’s success. communities. Nevertheless, those congregations who Some of our congregations are already working in offer social justice as a centerpiece are making tangible hybrid models that combine these approaches. Still, differences in their wider communities and are engaging how many of our members consider their dues to be in more members in their mission. Rabbi Jeffrey Falick support of a cause rather than paying a fee-for-service? of The Birmingham Temple is a fixture in the Detroit Once we have undergone the mindset change from area on progressive causes and his community was the denomination to cause, it opens up myriad possibilities only Jewish institution in the whole state of Michigan for expressing Humanistic Judaism. And it should, to declare itself a sanctuary for refugees. Our new rabbi because Humanistic Judaism is of course much more 6 Humanistic Judaism than just its organizing model. It is a philosophy of life, education need not be confined to months-long Sunday a source of meaning, a global network of like-minded school programs but can also include one-time drop- people addressing the biggest issues we face as human ins or public-space events. And the measures of success beings. can likewise broaden beyond counting paid members Each of us may offer different reasons why we find to asking how many people we are engaging with Humanistic Judaism so meaningful. Personally, I find it Humanistic Judaism. allows me to be open and honest about my beliefs while In Humanistic Judaism’s first fifty years, the still centering Jewish identity as an essential part of who programmatic pillars of our movement have been I am. It helps me feel more connected to Jewish history holiday and lifecycle celebrations, and adult and youth and community. And it allows me to mark holidays and education. During the next fifty, it can be those plus lifecycle events with a set of rituals and liturgy that add so much more. I am honored to be able to think about meaning, without using any words that compromise my additional offerings, and I invite your help and welcome integrity. your ideas. When we focus on offering the values and benefits Humanistic Judaism will grow as a movement by of our mission, we recognize that many different focusing our mission on improving people’s lives. And delivery mechanisms might also work alongside the if somehow all we end up doing is improve people’s congregational model. Social justice programs could lives without growing our movement, we will still have spin off to be their own separate initiatives. Youth improved people’s lives! Either way, it’s a win.

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Spring 2019 7 Living by Ronald Aronson WithoutGod Book Excerpt This text originally appeared in Living Without God: Sometimes one’s friends and family will not let this PageNew Directions 8 cut for Atheists, from Agnostics, this Secularists, preview and edition.happen. They are attached to what we were, have grown the Undecided, by Ronald Aronson. Reproduced with the mournful of what we have become, and are now often author’s permission. burdened with the tasks of caring for this aging person. Whatever kind of life we are creating, it still leads, if As a result, loved ones may have the greatest difficulty Fullwe are fortunate, version to old age. available If we are fortunate, for we avoid members experiencing of our SHJ- aging. The story of Jean-Paul Sartre’s a violent death, dying by accident, or dying by disease. last days is remarkable because at the end there seemed affiliatedAnd then we have those congregations, everyday worries: losing our SHJto beIndependent two Sartres, the fading shadow Members, of the former genius teeth, wetting our pants, not following what someone and the still-engaged philosopher willing to rethink andis saying, Magazine the pain in our back, subscribers neck, or hip making it only. everything. The first, loved and tolerated by “la famille” harder to move, younger people growing impatient with consisting of Simone de Beauvoir and his oldest friends, us for needing them to repeat what they say, straining to had become blind, was scarcely able to walk, required stay connected to the world, fearing that we will become constant care, wet his pants, and had given up writing. Ifirrelevant you and are then invisible. already Even if weelgible have few regrets for fullHis lifeaccess, work was behindplease him, his genius was spent, about how we have spent our life, we feel ourselves and these loved ones felt that he had to be protected contactslipping away. [email protected] for the correctfrom being embarrassed link; by his foolish enthusiasms of the moment. The second Sartre was the man living in The people closest to us share our pained awareness, the present, the Sartre who was spending time with otherwiseobserving us from the find point of viewmembership of our decline, of information here: the young, intense, and ambitious Benny Lévy—taping how we used to be and what we can no longer do, fretting fresh interviews, revising his old ideas, the two sharply over our mental lapses and hesitations and physical http://www.shj.org/membershipdisagreeing then agreeing, going in new directions, weaknesses, annoyed by our passing enthusiasms, together creating the rough outlines of new thoughts. tallying silently, as we do, what we are giving up. We can no longer run, no longer play sports, no longer have sex While Beauvoir tenderly but patronizingly orwithout subscription pharmaceutical assistance, information no longer drive a here:ministered to the fading genius and tried to keep the car, no longer walk very far. We tell ourselves that this accumulated works and past accomplishments of her is temporary, we will try again, but we slowly grow used life companion alive and definitive, Sartre wanted to live

http://www.shj.org/subscribe the Creative Commons license through Dong’ao : CourtesyPhoto Liu to our limitations. Sadness and loss can become one’s in the present with Lévy, thinking however crudely and entire perspective on aging. rapidly for hours on tape, looking to the future, engaging in yet one more adventure. Sartre felt, against his oldest But to do this would be a serious mistake. It makes it loved ones, that this experience, living in the present, difficult to appreciate and live what remains. Too much Thank you for your interest inmattered Humanistic most. And in order Judaism! to not be frozen into the sorrow, loss, and “I used to be able to...” impede living past, keen on turning his remaining abilities to new what is left for us in the present. As we age, much of tasks, wanting passionately to be pointed toward the who we are resides in our expectations of what we can future, Sartre was to risk an end-of-life rupture with the do, based on remembering what we’ve been able to do. members of “la famille.” A diminishment of this or that ability must be absorbed, and in order to live in the present we must redefine our A few years earlier, Simone de Beauvoir had expectations. How we absorb our decline and live in the published a study similar in ambition and length to present is definitive. I recall my aging father, standing in her classic, The Second Sex, and it became translated in the kitchen, remarking: “In my mind I still feel as young the United States as The Coming of Age. This title is a as I always did.” In hearing this, his unsympathetic son serious misrepresentation: the implication of growing thought he was just consoling himself. Only now do into someone positive was the exact opposite of what I realize what I missed then: he was exulting. Aging Beauvoir had in mind. The French title was simpler and didn’t cancel out his sense of himself, and this remained more straightforward: La Vieillesse, and the title of the constant from his earliest childhood until this moment: British translation rendered it honestly: Old Age. In “I am still who I always was.” He was experiencing a this sociological, historical, philosophical, economic, deeper “I” than any particular capacity, and was feeling and medical treatise, Beauvoir depicts aging, with rare it in the present. He was sensing himself fully alive, exceptions, as a time of utter loss. Those few individuals despite his losses. At that moment, “I used to be able who struggle against their decay “often become to...” disappeared. caricatures of themselves.” There are reasons for this, 8 Humanistic Judaism and Beauvoir’s great achievement in this book is to raise age can come a long-term perspective, greater calm, consciousness about the social and historical dimensions a stronger appreciation and caring for other people. of aging. Her first point is about modern societies’ Freed from the heaviest burdens of work, one has time structures of class and privilege, which eventually but to return to those treasured and longed-for activities relentlesslyPage produce9 cut a hugefrom difference this between preview those that edition. one has put off all one’s life, to live in the moment who have been fortunate enough to live—and age—well listening to music, birdwatching, gardening, passing and those who have not. Second, attitudes and policies time with friends, reading, or dozens of other heretofore elbow the aging to the margins of community life, telling pointless pleasures. This stage of life makes possible an them that they no longer matter—indeed, make them entirely new way of relating to people, typified in the noFull longer matter.version By the time available they reach old forage, the members unconditional of love SHJ- and carefree pleasure characteristic gapaffiliated between the well-cared-for congregations, few and the many who SHJof a grandparent.Independent Members, have undergone “systematic destruction” becomes truly To Beauvoir all this marks defeat, a giving in to decline enormous. Her indictment and call to arms could not and weakening. She is aware that for a time workers may beand stronger: Magazine “Old age exposes the subscribers failure of our entire only.improve as they get older, usually during their fifties civilization.” and sixties. Later on, life is overwhelmingly a story of On an even more fundamental—that is to say, losses. Her book reads as an unflinching compilation of biological—level, and even among those who avoid such losses, written against the disposition to console dyingIf youdue to areviolence, already accident, illness, elgible or disease, for fullourselves. access, And so she please scornfully rejects the notion the deterioration of old age takes away one’s practical of “serenity” accompanying aging. She rejects the activitycontact in the world, [email protected] one’s ability to remain for relevant the correctthought of shifting link; gears from a life centered on one’s and productive, to contribute socially. The only way to social contribution to a less forceful life in which one keepotherwise old age from becoming find an “absurd membership parody of our pursuesinformation activities more and here: more for their own sake. former life” is “to go on pursuing ends that give our Living in and for the moment with weakened capacities existencehttp://www.shj.org/membership a meaning—devotion to individuals, to groups is an unworthy replacement for living in and for one’s or to causes, social, political, or intellectual work.” But projects. we only accomplish this through a determined act of To move in the direction I suggest obviously resistance, both against the aging process itself and the requires a radical shift in perspective, yes, perhaps invisibleor subscription ghetto in which the elderly information are placed. Only a here:even an acceptance that one has little more to do or very few are able to do this. Since it is our projects that say or accomplish in the world. Or even that the wish markhttp://www.shj.org/subscribe fruitful living, our losing the capacity to do them to do so has faded, that one has contributed enough in at our accustomed level almost universally makes aging one’s lifetime. Is this a tragedy? From a point of view an unmitigated disaster. Even a Michelangelo, creative that refuses to honor any activity but being socially to the very last, was racked with pain and a sense of productive, it certainly is. As it is from a point of view loss,Thank and then, in youanother for tragedy your of aging, interest came to thatin assignsHumanistic little value to acting Judaism! at a level of competence disparage his own great statues as “puppets.” In old age, weaker than that of the peak of one’s mature years. If the he repudiated his achievement. In such cases, we cannot essence of adult life is accomplishment and the power help wondering if death is not preferable to an ending in to make a difference, living on without these is indeed which “life unravels stitch by stitch like a frayed piece of tragic. knitting, leaving nothing but the meaningless strands of I agree with Beauvoir that resistance should wool in the old person’s hands.” accompany aging: resisting the loss of capacities by Beauvoir does acknowledge that the “sweeping away exercising them, and refusing to be cast aside by society. of fetishes and illusions is the truest, most worthwhile These may involve personal, collective, and political of all the contributions of age,” but she still ties this projects. In fact the baby boomer generation has become “questioning, challenging state of mind” to remaining actively engaged in such resistance, the watchword of effective in the world—and in any case does not pursue which is “successful aging.” This approach rejects “usual this new attitude far into old age. Contrary to Beauvoir, aging” and insists instead that “we can, and should, strive what if we look closely at possible consolations of aging? for longer, healthier, more productive lives.” By eating For some people the list of losses can for some time be well, exercising, and remaining engaged in life, we can offset by a number of gains, including a lessening of live longer and “attain high-quality, vital, disease-free inner conflict, greater mental clarity, the ability to make late years.” Carried beyond the individual to the realm decisions more easily, freedom from stress, a softening of social policy, resistance to death can also involve a of personality traits that make life troubling such as kind of massive public assault on disease, isolation, and ambition, self-consciousness, and paranoia. With ...continued on page 14 Spring 2019 9 Why MATTER RitualRitual and and Ceremony Ceremony as Affirmation by Richard D. Logan, PhD and Rabbi Jeremy Kridel

When I was young, rituals and ceremonies, like high 3. Some years later, the same age set is initiated into school graduation, seemed like a royal waste of time— Junior Elderhood, when they become administrators and it didn’t help that the school band was awful! Many of the decisions of senior leaders. of my peers later felt the same about college graduation. 4. Finally, with Senior Elderhood, the age mates are (All the ceremonies involved were secular.) initiated into leadership, the Council of Elders. But majoring in anthropology and studying how Maasai women traditionally also go through rites of ceremonies and rituals bring people together and help passage, including female genital cutting at puberty. But provide meaning began to change my views. Teaching the Maasai are a patriarchal society, and cross-cultural at the University of Nairobi right after graduate school studies demonstrate that cultures tend to have more, and and researching traditional Kenyan village life for more elaborate, ceremonies to mark the life transitions two years cemented the change. The Maasai pastoral- for the gender destined for leadership. Thus, the two herding society, for example, is replete with ceremonies most ceremonialized transitions for Maasai women are and rituals. Many mark life transitions, making them puberty and marriage. In societies where women are the most meaningful and transformative experiences in the prime authority figures, however, they must pass the Maasais’ lives. Ritual and ceremony strengthen the more ritual “tests” than most men to prove their worth. Maasais’ appreciation of their culture and affirm that Examples include the matriarchal Navajos’ kinaalda they have a solid place in it. Consequently, I can attest puberty ceremony, where girls are subjected to trials of that Maasai “know who they are” and don’t question isolation, deprivation, and the stress of a long-distance their identity to the extent we often see here. solitary run; and, later in life, ceremonies that mark their Maasai males go through a series of four initiations attaining leadership status. (I know a lot more about the as they transition through the major stages of life: Maasai than the Navajo. I was honored by being made 1. They become Junior Warriors at puberty, which an honorary Senior Maasai Elder in 1993.) includes undergoing the ritual of circumcision. Even though the terms ceremony and ritual Going through this ordeal with their contemporaries themselves overlap and are often used interchangeably, shows they have the strength to be adults, and this we can suggest this distinction: major ceremonial occasion also forever binds them Ceremony is a series of acts performed on a formal as “brothers” in their age set. religious or public occasion, often one celebrating a 2. Several years later, there is a massive ceremony particular group event or anniversary, e.g., “A rabbi where hundreds of Junior Warriors from all around performed the wedding ceremony.” Maasai-land are initiated together into Senior Ritual often refers to a smaller, more private event. Warriorhood in the eunoto ceremony, whereby they Frequently ceremonies (e.g., weddings) have ritual become the primary protectors of the community. components (exchanging rings, vows). 10 Humanistic Judaism For anthropologists, ritual and ceremony are “an through and finding reassurance that meaning—and inevitable component of culture” (Carrico 2019). They are culture—still remain after the dislocation of loss, rituals more dramatized instances of the recurring “patterning” of polite interaction as ways of controlling aggression, of group behavior that is culture. In ceremonies and or wedding and marriage as ways of regulating sexuality. rituals, people engage with their culture as something Rituals help us deal with life events and comfort us with more real to them than on most other occasions, when the knowledge that order endures. culture is literally the ordinary routines of their daily Ritual and ceremony also: lives. Planned ceremonies, and rituals, originate in, flow A. Give occasion to a life or group event: they are signs from, and manifest the group and its culture. Rituals that something matters to the group and individuals and ceremonies make culture real because they stand involved; out as “figure” against the background of daily life. Take the small-town parade ceremony: It is nothing more B. Have a social integration function: everyone is than people you know and familiar vehicles moving together doing the same thing in the same way at the in order down the street, but since it is done with same time. As my congregation, Or Emet’s Shabbat music and a uniformed band in a group pattern, the service booklet says: “They bind us together”; community affirms itself as a “real” entity. Because they C. Are often dramatized reminders of who a people are. so powerfully display patterning, ritual and ceremony This is especially significant if there is celebration of came to be placed “…. at the center of the development a group’s history. Historical memory, peoplehood, of anthropological thought” (Carrico 2019). community, identity, honoring core values, and Interestingly, participants often give less attention to social integration, are prime features of many Jewish the smaller ritual components of a ceremony than they rituals and ceremonies—even when the stated do to the ceremonies themselves. Ceremonies require purpose may be religious; more logistics and planning than their ritual components D. Affirm that the group is real: if done well, ritual do. For example, the rituals inside weddings—exchange and ceremony also evoke admiration, respect, of rings, vows, the kiss, etc.— and even loyalty. Sometimes are often simply treated as they even evoke awe and make givens. Similarly, the ceremony both observers and participants of Thanksgiving includes the experience the event as especially rituals of giving thanks, carving meaningful. Awe and meaning the turkey, etc.; the Mardi Gras can be hard to distinguish from celebration includes the ritual “spiritual.” of handing out beads; initiation But here is the rub: it can be ceremonies may include the ritual hard for secular organizations to of circumcision or other painful do ritual and ceremony well. This ordeals; a graduation ceremony is especially true for organizations

Photo : CourtesyPhoto on Pixabay Carmen Murray includes the ritual of moving the that are newer, small and tassel of your cap; and a kids’ pick- voluntary, or that eschew forms up baseball game begins with the ritual of choosing up that might look “too religious.” As a counterpoint: sides by tossing the bat—a ritual, like so many others, Jewish secular organizations borrowed much from ordained back in the mists of time, and now a given in “traditional” religious ceremonies and rituals that the culture of childhood. were actually centered largely on cultural themes like Ritual is, in other words, “not entirely encoded [i.e., peoplehood, Jewish identity, etc., in the first place. thought about] by the performers” (Rappaport 1999, 48). Further, Humanistic Judaism has shown that these can In other words, individuals follow patterns set before be modified into humanistic observances that remain their time. This feature of ritual reflects that culture meaningful. often works in hidden ways and leads us to do many A key question, then, is this: can we learn from things, like saying “hello” or shaking hands, in certain groups that do ritual and ceremony well, and if so, what ways without thinking much about how we do them. can we learn? Moreover, “[ritual is] an especially dramatic attempt First, we know that religious organizations— to bring some particular part of life firmly and definitely churches, synagogues, mosques, Hindu and Buddhist into orderly control” (Moore and Myerhoff 1977, 3). temples, etc.—all do rituals and ceremonies well, with Think of the many rituals in a funeral as ways of working pomp, precision, solemnity, beauty (both costuming Spring 2019 11 Photo : Courtesy Veronika Melissa Pujari on Pixabay Melissa : CourtesyPhoto Veronika

and music), and in ways that provide support, comfort, to our one national secular organization that does ritual and a sense of meaning. Because they provide so much, and ceremony well—the military. A national military ceremonies and rituals clearly play a role in religions’ honor guard often presents the symbols of the nation— staying power. the “colors”—thus marking the occasion while also But where do we find secular groups that do ritual reminding people of the “realness” of the institution of and ceremony well? the nation. Militaries do rituals and ceremonies well for all the same reasons religions, monarchies and gangs The immense popularity of the Changing of the do—to be organically real to their members and to Guard at Buckingham Palace shows that monarchies society, and also to engender commitment. often do ritual and ceremony very well. The ceremonies and rituals of monarchies are colorful, precise, and done Even though I have sung the praises of ritual and with pomp and solemnity, so much so that it is hard not ceremony, they can be overdone. We surely do not want to see the enterprise as highly meaningful. One reason to emulate monarchies, the military, or gangs, other for doing ceremony well is that it makes the monarchy than to realize that they show that ritual and ceremony stand out as figure against the background of everyday really do matter, even for secular groups. We do not life in the United Kingdom—and by extension, in the favor indoctrination or want to strengthen the staying United States too! They also validate a monarchy’s status power of those who should not have it. It is also true above its subjects and are a large part of its staying that, even with only good intentions, groups who are power. ethical and moral can still engage in too much ritual and ceremony—or maybe too little. Then there is, perhaps surprisingly, the urban gang, where ceremonies and myriad specific rituals are central My hope is that ritual and ceremony matter to features, including initiation (being beaten or sexed in, Humanistic Judaism because they do several good things committing one’s first crime, etc.), later initiation to ever for us: they help make our communities and movement higher statuses, loyalty oaths, and an elaborate array real, they help us stand out against the background of of components of gang culture (signs, insignia, colors, members’ daily lives, and they can help us stand out dress, “tagging”, codes of conduct, etc.). Gang funeral to others. I would especially hold up our B Mitzvahs ceremonies can rival the elaborate funerals of great to highlight another important point: we generally Viking war heroes. Many of the ritual components are pull these off with simple elegance compared to more givens and help make gang life so compelling, fulfilling, traditional forms. Our B Mitzvah ceremonies have and, yes, meaningful—and, again, real as a culture enough familiar ceremonial form and ritual content to and as charismatic figure against a usually desultory be experienced as truly Jewish, but we take great care background. not to present ceremony and ritual for their own sake. We want the ceremony and ritual to affirm the youth, American national celebrations, usually secular, not for the youth to be a vehicle for the rites. In keeping like Independence Day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, with this, the ritual and ceremony must be spare enough etc., and other large public events that involve no to let the youth shine through. national holidays, like sporting events, all must be given strong ceremonial marking to underline that each is an One of the key pieces that makes our B Mitzvah occasion. To ceremonialize these events, we often turn ceremonies so compelling as a model is part of what 12 Humanistic Judaism makes Secular Humanistic Judaism so distinct: sake. And we can refine these forms collectively so that changing the liturgy to match what we believe and the they reflect the moderation of group consensus. Indeed, goals of the ceremony. A B Mitzvah celebration in many groups have always worked together to make ceremony congregations outside our movement often makes the and ritual important parts of their cultures; we are no youth’s growing maturity somewhat secondary to the exception. ceremony by embedding the B Mitzvah rituals within a So, there is a broad lesson: for ritual and ceremony “regular” liturgy. The student may read from the Torah to be done well, quality can matter more than quantity, or read a haftarah, and may help lead services, and those simple elegance more than elaboration. A few simpler achievements are recognized. songs done well can be more But if the ceremony is on a meaningful, more moving, and Shabbat morning, the liturgy is more “spiritual” than more largely the same as if there were songs done less well. And no B Mitzvah being celebrated at sometimes the simplest ritual all. The youth whose B Mitzvah can be the most meaningful and is being celebrated is in some most moving, like the Navajo respects a drop-in: the youth girl simply running alone like is recognized, but the liturgy is the wind over the desert as the not reworked to recognize how primary test in her kinaalda rite momentous the occasion truly of passage, or a group singing is. together and becoming— Compare this with how literally, and instantly—the B Mitzvah ceremonies are conducted in different voice of the organically real community. The simple Humanistic Jewish communities. At our founding reverent lighting of a candle in loved ones’ memories can congregation, the Birmingham Temple, B Mitzvah say “the light of their life is still with us” more movingly ceremonies occur on Shabbat, and the holiday is than words. And it is hard not to be reverentially quiet recognized. Yet the bulk of the liturgy is not focused on during a candle lighting; it can evoke a hushed “spiritual” Shabbat: it is focused on what it means for a youth to reverence like no other ritual event in a ceremony. recognize and embrace maturation and responsibility, I mention simple elegance because one of the and showcases the individual youth’s work on projects tensions in SHJ communities is between those who want and service work as demonstrating growth. At Machar, more educational or other cultural programming time our movement’s congregation in Washington, D.C., and those who want more ceremony. Elegant simplicity group B Mitzvah ceremonies are conducted. Family that is both moving and not overbearing might be and the youths’ accomplishments receive pride of common ground where these two groups can meet, and place: Shabbat liturgy is kept to a minimum, family and on which to build ritual and ceremony that work well for friends recognize the B Mitzvah students’ growth, and us—not to mention that simplicity is easier to pull off. the students deliver presentations or performances on Ritual and ceremony already live in our communities topics connected to Secular Humanistic Judaism. Each alongside our stimulating programs, social action, and family tailors their student’s portion of the ceremony to education. Our commitments to social justice, reason, the student’s and the family’s interests and emotions by and evidence-based thinking help us keep our ceremony choosing music and readings that speak for that family. and ritual in perspective—from being either clumsy or Throughout Secular Humanistic Judaism, our overly elaborated—as a source of meaning and purpose communities strive to keep formal B Mitzvah ritual and in themselves. They affirm who we are, and we must be ceremony from being centerpieces of these occasions: committed to using ceremony and ritual only in ways to ensure that the character and accomplishments of the that further affirm and support what we stand for. youth shine through. These features of our approach to B Mitzvah are a strength we should carry on, and they provide a model to build on. References 1. Carrico, Kevin. 2019. “Ritual.” Cultural Anthropology. By building ceremonies around rituals and liturgy Accessed February 25. https://culanth.org/curated_ that focus squarely on the occasion being celebrated, collections/4-ritual. we can embrace the challenge of being a secular 2. Moore, Sally F. and Barbara G. Myerhoff (Eds.). 1977. Secular organization that does ritual and ceremony well, so that Ritual. Assen: Van Gorcum. we will stand out as figure and have staying power—but 3. Rappaport, Roy. 1999. Ritual and Religion in the Making of not for control, or for creating commitment for its own Humanity. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Spring 2019 13 ...continued from page 9 insecurity that Beauvoir was hoping to motivate. peaceably. How can you age peaceably when you are Yet, important as they are, both the all-out resistance unable to imagine a secure future for those you love to aging that she advocates and the “successful aging” and all that you worked for? Around us are increasing movementPage of14 the cutbaby boomers from contain this their previewown kind environmental edition. disasters, brutal reversal of social of denial. There is a rejection of life in refusing to adapt or progress, and blithe return to inequalities we had long accept ourselves as we change and become diminished, thought to have left behind. or in scorning living fully in the ways left to us. For all their The aged are prone to think in generalities, strengths,Full version Beauvoir and “successfulavailable aging” are for fixed members on and sometimes of SHJ-this is helpful. The one I’d select to the image of the independent, active, productive worker characterize our present drift is denial. Climate denial andaffiliated contributor to society, congregations, and are at a loss when faced SHJis aIndependent kind of chosen ignorance, actingMembers, as if the signs of with the dependent, diseased, weakened souls afflicted crisis are not all around us. Dismembering the public byand “usual Magazineaging.” Yes, of course, subscribers such losses are genuine, only.goods created painfully over generations—schools, and from the perspective of what once was, they are also government responsibilities, protections, is a denial of tragic. If they can be forestalled, by all means we should the caring community envisioned by earlier generations do so. and the needs that moved them. Creating conditions If Butyou life’s stagesare eachalready have their ownelgible validity. Why for fullin which access, some people please will have to live in permanent not embrace life on its own terms, and accept that these inequality while others enjoy the privileges of wealth, arecontact constantly changing? [email protected] It is important to livefor as fullythe correctstatus, even link;citizenship, denies each other’s equal as possible, but what this means changes as we move humanity and pretends that the excluded can possibly fromotherwise the beginning of findold age to themembership end of life. As long informationaccept this forever. The culthere: of denial is growing, and as we live, we continue to make ourselves. The space calling it a cult—really several cults—suggests that these within which we do so may shrink, but the fact that we are organized, have leaders, structures, theories, and dohttp://www.shj.org/membership so continues until the end. Old age offers not only even policing apparatuses. its own pleasures and consolations, but also the space One good thing about aging is that there is no longer and need for doing some of life’s most serious work. any reason to keep quiet. We have nothing to lose. So in Granted, this requires being fortunate enough to have addition to the tasks I mentioned in the passage taken sufficientor subscription mental acuity and health,information and often people here:from my book, we have another: in spite of everything, lack one or both as they near death. Still, an essential to continue being active in the world, which so urgently parthttp://www.shj.org/subscribe of living is taking leave. It always has been: Sartre’s needs all hands on deck. last conversation with Lévy, the death dance in Ten Canoes, and Reverend Bryant’s last hours are only a few instances in a vast literature. These endings suggest that summingThank up, settling you our for affairs, your and saying interest goodbye in Humanistic Judaism! can begin years before we die, and in fact the sense of self-judgment starting in youth may be more or less continuous in most people. An Afterword by the Author: Ten years later, and having fully entered old age, I wouldn’t change a word in the above passage. But I would insist on the audience it was written for. Living Without God was not written for people who see themselves as “atoms adrift in an absurd universe.” It was aimed at self-conscious secular humanists. As I say in the book, “We dependent human creatures are part of the cosmos, nature, and history, as well as members of local, national, and global society. These dependencies fill our lives with demands, responsibilities, and meanings.” I would also underscore the context. As we age, what does it mean to stress our belonging to the wider world? For we who experience our citizenship keenly it is becoming increasingly difficult to live, age, and die 14 Humanistic Judaism How Built the Fifth Branch of Judaism by Ruth Duskin Feldman Sherwin Wine Book Excerpt This text originally appeared in A Life of Courage, meet Humanistic Jews from other parts of the country, compiledPage by 15Dan cutCohn-Sherbok, from Harry this T. Cook, preview and to hearedition. educational speakers, and to compare notes on Marilyn Rowens. Reproduced with the publisher’s strategies for growth. permission. Sherwin also realized that, like an aspiring professor, Full version available for membersan aspiring movement of SHJ- must publish or perish. We began Beginnings publishing curricular and promotional materials, an annual newsletter called Humanorah, and a quarterly Given the tumult and intellectual ferment of affiliated congregations, SHJjournal, Independent Humanistic Judaism, of which Members, I became creative the ’60s, it should hardly have been a shock that a editor in 1983 with Bonnie Cousens, now the Society’s radical Jewish movement would arise, headed by an and Magazine subscribers only.Executive Director, as managing editor. In 1985 we “ignostic” rabbi. Yet the Jewish establishment and the published the first edition of Sherwin’s Judaism Beyond nation were stunned when, in 1963, the first headlines God, sometimes called the bible of our movement. appeared about a young Reform rabbi who had started a nontheistic congregation, the Birmingham Temple, with The Problem of Low Growth eightIf Detroit-areayou are families. already Rabbis from elgible coast to coast for full access, please Still, the movement wasn’t growing—hardly at all. denounced this heresy. contact [email protected] for the correctSmall, incipient link; communities would emerge, struggle, Humanistic Judaism, although initially an outgrowth and die. The SHJ advertised in The New York Times, The ofotherwise Reform Judaism, soon find proved tomembership be incompatible Newinformation Republic, The Humanist, here: and The Jewish Forward. with Reform, especially as the Reform movement grew The ad campaigns drew only modest results. Sherwin morehttp://www.shj.org/membership and more conservative in its liturgy and embrace had expected hundreds, thousands to flock to our doors. of traditionalism. Sherwin resigned from the Reform We had built it; why didn’t more people come? rabbinate and set about the ambitious task of creating We knew the market was out there; it just needed a new movement, a fifth branch of Judaism. What has to be told we were here. We knew because of the happened since then has been a historic journey—and many times someone who stumbled upon one of our a orlife-changing subscription experience for those information of us privileged here: congregations would say, “Where have you been all my enough to have gone along on the ride. life? This is what I’ve always wanted.” http://www.shj.org/subscribeSherwin Wine has been called “a founder.” Here are One problem was what seemed like an invisible some of the organizations he has founded: Society for conspiracy among the Jewish establishment and Humanistic Judaism (SHJ), International Federation of a skeptical press to deny us exposure as a serious Secular Humanistic Jews (IFSHJ), International Institute movement—mention in listings of Jewish organizations, forThank Secular Humanistic you Judaismfor your(IISHJ), interestLeadership in Humanistic Judaism! participation in all-community programs and rabbinic Conference of Secular and Humanistic Jews (LCSHJ), forums, and the like. After the initial flurry of Association of Humanistic Rabbis (AHR)—and the list sensationalized articles, we were virtually ignored. In goes on. What we Humanistic Jews call “the movement” order to become viable as a movement, we had to be today consists of this alphabet soup of organizations and visible. We needed a PR campaign, and we began to put a list of members, subscribers, and supporters estimated one in place. at 30,000 or more on six continents—all but Antarctica. We lacked other earmarks of a serious movement. First, in 1969, Sherwin and Rabbi Daniel Friedman We needed more publications, better-looking ones, of Congregation Beth Or in Deerfield, Illinois (a and we began to produce them; a basic A¬to-Z Guide congregation that had converted from Reform to to Humanistic Judaism came out in 1993. We needed Humanistic), formed the SHJ. The society, which today to get on the Web, and eventually we did. We needed is the umbrella organization for our national movement, more professional leaders, both nationally and on the grew slowly at first. By 1979, ten years after its founding, local level, and we needed a plan for developing future there were only a handful of chapters in such places rabbinic leadership. We needed money—lots of it— as Westport, Connecticut; Boston; Los Angeles; to accomplish our goals. And we needed allies. With Washington, D.C.; and Toronto. Sherwin realized that Sherwin’s foresight and leadership, we began to move in we needed events to bring people from these far-flung all those directions. But first, the society had to redesign chapters together, to develop solidarity as a movement. itself. So the society held annual meetings, which enabled us to Spring 2019 15 Page 16 cut from this preview edition.

Full version available for members of SHJ- affiliated congregations, SHJ Independent Members, and Magazine subscribers only. on Unsplash : CourtesyPhoto Wang Johnson A New and Improved SHJ the Reform seminary, as in the past. The two earliest One obstacle to our growth and development as prospects, Robert Barr and Rami Shapiro, both ordained a serious, viable movement was the structure of the at HUC in 1981, had gone through their rabbinic training society.If you Originally, are it wasalready simply a voluntary elgible association for fullwith theaccess, society’s financial please support and had worked with of individuals, with no paid staff. But as new groups emerging local communities. But both Barr and Shapiro emerged,contact needing [email protected] help, nurturing, and for support, the correctwent in other link; directions. Barr, envisioning himself as the society, with only individual dues and modest the leader of a humanist wing in the Reform movement, fundraising to depend on, had its hands tied; and many sought membership in the Union of American ofotherwise the emerging groups, find despite theirmembership initial energy, soon informationHebrew Congregations buthere: was rejected because of his sputtered and died. congregation’s godless liturgy. Shapiro moved toward http://www.shj.org/membershipReconstructionism and then Jewish Renewal. It became Starting an SHJ community takes a major grassroots clear that we would need to train our own rabbis. effort, as well as support from the central office. Unlike the established movements, we don’t have a universal The Institute’s rabbinic program was established in prayer book or set of texts, and we can use very little of 1990. To meet immediate leadership needs, Sherwin theor material subscription available from standard information Jewish sources. So here:suggested a new level of clergy—the madrikh(a)/ we needed liturgical and educational materials to guide vegvayzer—with a shorter period of training. The ourhttp://www.shj.org/subscribe local communities as they created services and Leadership Conference adopted procedures for certifying started Sunday schools. these leaders, as well as teachers and spokespersons, and the Institute put in place a program for training them, In order to properly service and support with university professors and leaders of the movement our communities and congregations, we had to as instructors. Gradually, with successful fundraising for professionalize.Thank youMiriam for Jerris, your the Society’s interest first in Humanistic Judaism! the Institute, the program has grown and diversified its executive director, was promoted from volunteer to offerings. paid (and eventually full-time) status. We expanded the central office, put all our records on computers, and hired In 1993 the Institute graduated its first class, secretarial staff. The board took lessons in fundraising. certified to lead communities and perform ceremonies. We developed a long-range plan and established working Six years later, the first institute-trained rabbi, Tamara committees. Kolton, who had grown up at the Birmingham Temple, was ordained, with coverage in the New York Times And finally we came to grips with the other side and elsewhere. There were tears at the ordination, in of the coin. If local communities were going to receive Sherwin’s eyes and in those of others. Less than fifteen needed services, they had to pay national dues. Under years after the founding of the international movement, Sherwin’s leadership and vision, we transformed the it had passed a significant milestone. It would go on SHJ from a society of individuals into a society of fully beyond its founders. affiliated groups. In 2001 three more rabbis were ordained: Miriam … Jerris, SHJ community development associate; Adam The Movement Plans For Future Leadership Chalom, Assistant Dean of the Institute and a rabbi Throughout the 1980s, the issue of future leadership of the Birmingham Temple; and Ben Biber, rabbi of for Humanistic congregations was debated. At first, Machar in Washington, D.C. The movement also has some assumed that our future rabbis would come from attracted rabbis from other branches of Judaism: Peter 16 Humanistic Judaism Schweitzer, originally from the Reform rabbinate, and David Oler from the Conservative rabbinate. … The Colloquia and the Quest For Legitimacy Page 17 cut from this preview edition.By the time our first rabbis were ordained, Humanistic Judaism at last was becoming recognized as a legitimate, though still relatively small, branch of Judaism. That was no accident. It required strategizing, and again Sherwin Full version available for memberswas up to the of task. SHJ- His main tool was involvement in high-visibility affiliated congregations, SHJreligious Independent conferences. In 1993 he andMembers, Rabbi Friedman gave a presentation at the Parliament of the World’s and Magazine subscribers only.Religions, along with leaders of non-Jewish humanist groups including the American Humanist Association and Ethical Culture. Our presence there, as well as that of pagan witches and earth goddess worshipers, led to If you are already elgible for fullthe walkout access, of the Greek please Orthodox delegation. The B’nai Brith Anti-Defamation League also walked out, but their contact [email protected] for the correctprotest was against link; the presence of Louis Farrakhan. Next, Sherwin decided that we ourselves would otherwise find membership becomeinformation major conference here:givers. With the help of a hardworking, dedicated committee, he boldly organized http://www.shj.org/membershipa series of biennial colloquia, held at the Pivnick Center in 1995, 1997, 1999, and 2001, with the fifth scheduled for October 2003, featuring distinguished professors, writers, and thinkers in dialogue with the faculty of our or subscription information here:institute. The colloquia have been partly funded by the Detroit Jewish Federation and have been introduced by http://www.shj.org/subscribeits president, showing what a force Sherwin’s temple has become in the Detroit Jewish community. … Humanistic Judaism probably never will be a mass Thank you for your interest inmovement. Humanistic But it can become Judaism! a significant voice and choice in the Jewish community. That will be the legacy of Sherwin Wine. Photo : CourtesyPhoto Deniz Altindas on Unsplash Spring 2019 17 CommunityNews II Or Emet—Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN II Machar, The Washington Congregation for Secular II Beth Ami — Boulder, CO Humanistic Judaism — Washington, D.C. II Kahal B’raira — Boston, MA II Congregation for Humanistic Judaism — Fairfield County, CT A Night to Remember October 13, 2018: Everyone was ready to party and celebrate our leaders, members, and the 30th anniversary of Or Emet’s relationship with the Society for Humanistic Judaism. Eva Cohen, our rabbinic candidate, led a lovely Havdalah service. Then David Fox, donning the stovepipe hat of Abraham “Lin-Cohen,” ceremoniously delivered the following address:

One score and ten years ago, Harold Londer and Larry Garfin brought forth in Minnesota a new congregation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that one can think rationally while honoring Judaism.

Now we are engaged in a great celebration, in testament to the fact that such a congregation can long endure ~ and grow ~ and flourish.

We have gathered to remember and to applaud the vision and the efforts of our past, our happiness in the present, and our commitment to the future of Or Emet Minnesota Congregation for Humanistic Judaism.

Honoring Harold Londer, Or Emet’s co-founder and inspiring leader for more than three decades, was the evening’s highlight. Joan Barnett unveiled a portrait of Harold painted by Susan Weinberg and presented it to him along with a book of his writings titled, “In His Words.” Lionel Davis was honored for giving Or Emet years of beautiful, creative music. Lionel passed away recently, and we are grateful that we had this opportunity to celebrate his warmth and wit. Next were congratulatory messages from SHJ’s Rabbi Miriam Jerris and Executive Director Paul Golin, who was visiting our community that weekend. Our singing “Thirty Years” together, to the tune of “Sixteen Tons,” was a great finish to the evening! Margo Fox 18 Humanistic Judaism Community News

No School? No Problem! of all ages. We have celebrated Sukkot, Hanukkah, and Tu Years ago, Rabbi Sherwin Wine visited the fledgling B’Shevat in homes and back yards, with each holiday event Beth Ami—CCHJ community in Denver and, somewhat including food preparation, songs, books, games, and commandingly, told us to build a school. He explained that several activities for different ages. without one, our future was limited, and our focus should As illustrated in the photos, our potluck Hanukkah be on bringing children into the fold. It made sense. Over event included latkes, a service project to benefit a local the decades, Beth Ami has cycled food bank, reading an amusing new through a variety of school venues, Hanukkah picture book, playing educators, and curricula, reaching a dreidel, schmoozing with new and old high of 20 enrolled students, only to friends, and concluded after dark by plummet in recent years. lighting many menorahs and singing In 2015, we became the Jewish a medley of traditional and updated Cultural Family School. At least songs. one parent accompanied their child Tu B’Shevat, the new year of the for Sunday classes with the goal of trees, is a challenge during Colorado promoting follow-up practices of winters. Beth Ami gathered to focus the experiential, age-appropriate on the prairie ecosystem and co- curriculum. We sang and played dependency of its flora and fauna. games and explored critical thinking We played team-building games to while referencing the excellent SHJ illustrate our own interdependency Curriculum for Children’s Education. and ate smoothies and salad from We prepared healthy food and ate (mostly) local and sustainable produce. a multigenerational lunch together. Songs and piano accompaniment We crafted and acted and celebrated focused on seasons, life cycles, and holidays humanistically. Adult celebrating our natural surroundings. education was offered gratis and We have lowered the barriers simultaneously with children’s classes to participate in these Holiday to engage parents and other interested participants. And Happenings by welcoming families, couples, and yet, over the course of several years, our numbers dwindled. individuals of all ages and abilities. By gathering in We seemed to be losing homes, we reduce overhead ground to soccer, skiing, and have not charged vacations, and a host of admission. The potluck competing programs. approach allows everyone Maybe it was the proposition to participate and offer that Humanistic Jews what they are comfortable didn’t commit to regular bringing. We’ve created attendance. Or maybe some consistency by always children wanted to be including food preparation with their friends at larger and eating, music, literature, schools at established shuls. a craft, and games that What to do? highlight the particular School Director Lenore holiday being celebrated. Kingston and Cultural With planning, division Director Marti Hirsch re- of labor, advertising via focused, revised, and re- newsletter, emails, phone oriented the successful calls, and a warm welcome family/experiential model to all who show up, the Beth ,along with a Beth Ami family with three young children. Ami Holiday Happenings have now replaced our Jewish The result of their brainstorming produced Beth Ami Cultural School by offering rich family experiences that Holiday Happenings, celebrations of Jewish holidays address so many needs in our community. through a humanistic lens geared to children and adults Sheila Malcolm Spring 2019 19 Community News

Kahal B’raira Is Building a Better World In March, Boston is pleased to be hosting the HuJews Kahal B’raira was an early affiliate of the Society for Conclave; we love to show off our city. In addition to a Humanistic Judaism. As such we still HuJews community service project, have some institutional memory of KB adults will be leading groups of that early period, though it grieves Conclave attendees on a walking us to announce the passing of tour of Jewish Boston, focusing on Barbara Schnuer who, along with the downtown area. her deceased husband Sy Schnuer, SHJ Executive Director Paul founded Kahal B’raira. On our Golin, in Boston for the Conclave, 45th anniversary, we videotaped will take time that weekend to join Barbara and Sy talking about that KB for an evening Havdalah and founding. In the video, Barbara potluck dinner. said she “saw an article on the Birmingham Temple…and Members of KB will also be traveling to Detroit to their rabbi’s description of Secular Humanistic Judaism celebrate 50 years with the larger world of Humanistic and immediately I said, ‘Oh, that’s who I am.’” Judaism. We look forward to meeting you! It will be a time Sy and Barbara traveled to a meeting of the Society to look back and look forward. for Humanistic Judaism and later hosted Sherwin Wine in Sadly, there are only a few members left who took part Boston. They cut and pasted liturgy they borrowed from in the original story of the Society. So now it falls to us to the Connecticut Congregation for Humanistic Judaism to plant more seeds for the future. create KB’s first High Holiday celebration. It is this type L’chaim! of sharing between affiliate communities that is the very Gladys Maged and Jon Levine essence of what our Society is about.

When a Congregation Comes of Age: Women in Transition (WITs), where women from multiple Machar Celebrates 40 Years generations gather for a monthly potluck and sharing. Our annual Coffeehouse showcases amazing talent from three A hallmark of any mature organization generations. The energizing walks of our is when it lives vibrantly in the present. Nature Lovers’ group end with lunches in Machar celebrated previous mile delightful venues. With members living markers by honoring the visionaries whose in such a wide geography, Friday Shabbat guidance meant everything to getting and services have yielded to popular Saturday keeping us going. The tone of our 40th Havdalah evenings, mostly decentralized anniversary was all the more special as and hosted by a variety of families. old and new members blended seamlessly During the 40th year, our board into one organic whole, living fully in our worked with Paul Golin to develop present while having clear eyes on our themes to organize our goals and events collective future. going forward, many of which have already proved to be In that spirit, we officially welcomed our new rabbi, successful. Jeremy Kridel (ed. note: also the editor of this periodical), th Everything old is new again as we continue to combine in our 40 year, on an evening that began with Havdalah. the best of our past with an ever-renewing spirit of belief in Cards highlighting events from our early ourselves and our congregation’s future. years were on the dinner tables for all to share and remember. Top: Rabbi Jeremy leads Machar’s Adult Ed program While we long ago transitioned after his ordainment celebration. to movement-trained rabbis and paid Bottom: Long-time members sit with newer to share our history from game cards. administrator and Sunday School staff, our outstanding Adult Ed program, newsletter, and ceremonial events continue to succeed through the yeoman efforts of volunteers. Darlene Basch Our Senior Havurah has transformed into 20 Humanistic Judaism Community News

The Dove people got the joke before I did?,” and “Why can’t more For many years our congregation (CHJ) has had a Fall of life be like this—where you realize fairly early on that Retreat, when a subgroup of us goes to the Catskills for a the subtitles, given to you by others (teachers, parents, weekend. There is a program of very interesting discussions authority figures, etc.) are not the only possible translation on Jewish culture and history, films, walks in the woods, of life’s running dialogue?” and opportunities to get to know each other better. We We would like more times where we “get it” earlier choose very rustic settings, sometimes on, with relationships, the stock market, with our vision in quaint turn-of-the-century of the life before us, and fewer times of seeing “resorts” near the Delaware River or how good hindsight is. Life is like deep in the Connecticut woods. that. Oscar Wilde once said, “It Usually we have Jewish themes i s only shallow people who do not for the evening films, but sometimes judge by appearances. The mystery of the it is just entertainment. One time world is the visible, not the invisible.” There is we saw a short foreign film called, something to that, but we usually approach the in English, “The Dove.” It was maybe visible with preconceived notions, often acquired 15 minutes long, a film with heavy early in life. It is hard to approach the “visible” with Ingmar Bergman-style dark, visual an open mind. One of the nice things about Sukkot symbolism. Very serious. It was in and our congregation’s retreat is that they feature the Swedish with English subtitles. After about seven or so idea of a natural setting that is not about us and which has minutes a few people started to laugh. This was quite a an independent existence. We are used to “reading” our puzzle because this was a very serious film. Then a few surroundings with literacy tools that are not the only ones more started to laugh. Eventually everybody got the joke. possible. Being out in the midst of nature can open our We were all reading the subtitles but the spoken dialogue eyes to other ways of seeing. (which was, to us, in the background of our attention) had One way to think of the Humanistic Judaism started out in Swedish but then had slowly changed into a movement is that it is an attempt to see beyond the type of “Swenglish,” and then to almost pure English with a traditional interpretations (the subtitles, as it were) of the heavy Swedish accent, and with a very funny script. Jewish experience and to listen more closely to the actual At some point we were probably all thinking, dialogue (like in the “Dove” film)—to see what parts of subconsciously: “Hey, I must have a gift for languages—I the experience of historical and contemporary Jews are can almost understand Swedish!” Then we soon realized relevant to us today and can speak to us, and then to integrate this into our events. what was going on here—a joke on us. The two things that Dave Shafer I took away from this experience were, “How come other Graphic: Courtesy of Tan Cundrawan on Pixabay Cundrawan Courtesy of Tan Graphic:

A Fifth Question for your Passover Seder On all other nights, we seek a truthful understanding of our world. Why, on this night, do we claim myth as history? Many Jews would agree that the Passover story could not have happened as described in the Book of Exodus. Yet even secular Jews retell the story, not because we believe it is history, but because of its history. It’s a foundational story. It represents the forging of a people who have endured to this day against seemingly insurmountable odds. It connects us to our family and ancestors who have told the same story for three thousand years. And it raises challenging questions that help us evolve as thoughtful and compassionate people. Our “remembered” suffering makes us more sensitive to the suffering of others. We “welcome the stranger because we were once strangers in the land of Egypt.” A Story of Meaning for All People The journey from slavery to freedom is a universal message and we thank those who travel with us. In the Torah’s mythical narrative, a “mixed multitude” joined the Israelites at Mount Sinai. Moses’ wife Zipporah was not an Israelite and her father Jethro, a Midianite priest, provided such wise counsel that a portion of Exodus is named in his honor. Let’s learn from Moses’ intermarried family that love is more powerful than hate and all are welcome at our Passover Seder. Spring 2019 21

Tributes To Susan & Marshall Rubin To Le Anne Steinberg In honor of your 50th Wedding Anniversary In loving memory of your husband, Bert Steinberg From Barbara Palmer & Don Poore From Paul Golin, Miriam Jerris, SHJ Board of From Susan & Marvin Kanfer Directors, and the staff at SHJ

To Shari Gelber To Linda Vendeland In loving memory of your mother, In loving memory of Dale L. (Jack) Vendeland Penny Frankel Ackerman From Leonard N. Friedson & Carla Rautenberg From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki From Enid & Steve Wetzner To SHJ In memory of Ed Klein To Mary Raskin From Barry Swan Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki From Andrea & Mark Friedlander To SHJ In memory of Doree Samuels From Gary Samuels To Andrea & Mark Friedlander In celebration of your daughter Jamie & John Croll’s engagement To Lianna & Katy Levine From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki In celebration of the births of Parker and Milo From Zava Basile & Jonathan Levine To Helen Forman For a Speedy Recovery To Larry Lawrence & Amy Kotkin From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki In celebration of the birth of your grandson From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki To Rabbi Miriam Jerris Wishing you a Speedy Recovery To Shelia & Ron Sebor From Andrea & Mark Friedlander In celebration of the birth of your grandchild From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki To Jeremy Kridel In loving memory of your stepfather, Michael Udell To Priscilla Molnar From Miriam Jerris & Steve Stawicki In loving memory of your husband, Paul Molnar From Paul Golin, Miriam Jerris, SHJ Board of Directors, and the staff at SHJ

Join the Interntional Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism on a tour to SECULAR ISRAEL October 30–November 10, 2019 Full itinerary & online registration: secure.ayelet.com/IISHJIsrael2019.aspx Humanistic Judaism Board of Directors 2018–2019 Executive Committee Stuart Dolnick Aliza Kopans Dr. Richard Logan Jeff Friedman Sam Greenberg President Lisa Gardner-Springer Libby Otto, Chair Mary Raskin Rick Gold Youth Leadership Council Vice-President Evelyn Goldstein Arthur Liebhaber Allen Gorrelick Staff Secretary & Treasurer Sue Greenspan Paul Golin Larry M. Lawrence Executive Director Lee Jacobi Past President Miriam Jerris Erica Jonlin Rabbi Marlene Cohen Rob Lasker Jennifer Grodsky Andrea Friedlander Jon Levine Information Manager Susan Herschman Sheila Malcolm Kathy Tschirhart Victoria Ratnaswamy E. Ronald Milan Administrative Assistant Susan Ryan George Molnar Anna Goldberg Sheila Sebor Dana Preis HuJews Conclave Coordinator Susan Rubin Rabbi Jeremy M. Kridel Editor, Humanistic Judaism Directors Amy Schneider Deb Godden Zachary Barnett Barry Swan Community News Editor, Darlene Basch Frank Tamburello Humanistic Judaism Stephanie Blum Susan Warrow Raya Kridel Bill Brostoff Designer, Humanistic Judaism Scott Chazdon HuJews Rabbi Sherwin T. Wine, 1928–2007 Paula Creed Areya Campbell-Rosen Founder

NEW LITURGY BOOK! Available on Amazon.com May 2019 This book collects some of the best Humanistic Judaism liturgy from leaders, thinkers, and clergy from across the movement and over the past half-century.

The liturgical pieces within can augment existing holiday observances (Shabbat, Passover, Hanukkah, etc.) and life-cycle ceremonies (baby namings, b’nai mitzvahs, weddings, etc.), and can serve as the core around which to build new services or ceremonies. Spring 2019 23 Society For Humanistic Judaism Non-profit Org. 28611 W. 12 Mile Rd U.S. Postage Farmington Hills, MI 48334 PAID Farmington Hills, MI Address Service Requested Permit No. 349

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