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32 33 34 35 36 37 Appendix 2 The Lizzie McGuire Movie script AT LIZZIE’S HOUSE Matt : Some say juvenile. I say genius! Lizzie : Leave me alone! Matt, I'm getting ready for graduation! Matt! Say goodbye to your little toy. Matt : And say hello to Matt owning his big sister for eternity! I shall win the Academy Award! AT SCHOOL Jo : Yesterday, you were in diapers, and now you're graduating junior high. You're growing up, and I can't believe you're going to Rome for two weeks all by yourself. Without me. Without me there with you. Without me with you there. You there without me. Lizzie : Mom, that's about all the combinations of those words you can make. Sam : Lizzie, this is a big day for you, sweetheart. Animated Lizzie : He's going to quote a dead guy. Sam : As William Shakespeare once wrote, "Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." Lizzie : Thanks, Dad, but I'm just trying to get through graduation. Greatness can wait till this nightmare's over. Hey, Gordo. So, do I look okay? Gordo : I'm your guy best friend. You should talk to Miranda about this. Lizzie : But she's in Mexico City. Gordo : Yes. Your blue robe looks way cooler than all the other girls'. Kate : Oh...my...God. Only you would think you could hide that powder- blue, puffy-sleeved, it's-kind-of-a-peasant-dress-but-it- might-just-be-a-baggy-disaster of question content that you wore to the spring dance. Lizzie McGuire, you are an outfit repeater! Lizzie : But I... Animated Lizzie : Maybe I'm an outfit repeater, but you're an outfit rememberer, which is just as pathetic. Lizzie : Does she not have anything better to do than make my life miserable? I mean...we used to be best friends. Gordo : But that was before she became popular. Mr. Escobar : McGuire! Gordo : Go. Lizzie : Hey, Mr. Escobar. Nice after-shave. Mr. Escobar : Oh, thank you. Margaret Chan either has ebola or a very bad cold. In any event, you're up. Lizzie : Up where? Mr. Escobar : At the podium. You are going to deliver the class president's speech. Lizzie : But what about the vice president? Mr. Escobar : He's not graduating. The secretary treasurer's next in line. Lizzie : All I did was handle petty cash. Mr. Escobar : I'm sorry, but you're not buying your way out of this. I want you to deliver your speech with as much pride and commitment as Margaret Chan would, even though you're no Margaret Chan. Animated Lizzie : Run! Host : Ladies and gentlemen, uh, Lizzie McGuire. Lizzie : Uh, Margaret Chan couldn't make it tonight, so I'm going…I'm going to be filling in for her. Not that any of us could really do that, but, um, anyway... Sam : Honey, I'm losing the feeling in my knuckles. Jo : OK 38 Lizzie : I think that we can all agree that junior high is filled with embarrassing and awkward and sometimes just downright humiliating moments, right? Uh...Oh! Me neither. A girl : It is so sad. Lizzie : Wow. A girl : It's like watching one of those animals get killed on the Discovery Channel. Lizzie : I think Margaret Chan would want me to have some water right now. Uhh! Oh! Mr. Escobar : Play something! Do something! Matt : Yes! Ha ha ha! IN THE AIRPORT Lizzie : Come on! Mom! Dad! I've got to get out of the country! Jo : I know you're still upset, but it wasn't that bad. Lizzie : Oh, really, Mom? Was your junior-high graduation on "Good Morning America"? Sam : What creep would send Diane Sawyer a video to embarrass you like that? Matt : What is that? Gordo : That is Miss Ungermeyer. Miss Ungermeyer : Hey, hey, hey, hey! Gordo : She's gonna be our principal high school for the next four years. If you stay on her good side, it's a one-way ticket to an lvy League school. Matt : What if you're on her bad side? A man : Excuse me! I need to mop up some puke. Matt : Well, you...you wind up as that guy? Gordo : No. You end up working for that guy. Parents : Can you make sure there are no garlic or soy products in anything Brittany puts near her mouth? Parents : Miss Ungermeyer, Luke has tennis elbow. Could somebody carry his luggage? Parents : My son has asthma, and he must have his puffer. Parents : Brittany, she's got allergies. Miss Ungermeyer : Attention, parents...shut your pie holes. I'm on a mission here to drag your progeny to 31 historically significant Roman landmarks in two weeks. Now, when these back talking miscreants return to you, they will have dipped their toes in a lake of culture, before assuming their destiny folding shirts at the outlet mall. Many - actually, most - of your classmates opted for the 36 hour bus ride to the Water-slide Wonderland. Whoo! But you... you, who are not mouth- breathing trailer trash, you will get to experience the delights of la citta eterna! Hmm-hmm. Rome. The eternal city. Did no one read the info packets? Gordo : Watch and learn. Um, Miss Ungermeyer, I just wanted to let you know I'm really looking forward to this exciting and academically enriching trip. Miss Ungermeyer : What's your name? Gordo : David Gordon. Miss Ungermeyer : David Gordon. Gordo : Mm-hmm. Miss Ungermeyer : I think, in ltalian, that means a sneaky brownnoser with a hidden agenda, huh? Uh, uh. Yeah! Come on, check those bags! I want to see that junk in the trunk and a seat looking neat. Lizzie : Okay. Mom. Okay, it's only two weeks, Mom. Sam : Honey, she's got to go. Lizzie : Two weeks. 39 Sam : Bye, sweetie. Lizzie : Bye. Sam : Safe trip, huh? Lizzie : Okay. Sam : Sweetheart...okay? Jo : Mm-hmm. A woman : Flight 72 to Rome. Final boarding, flight 72 to Rome. Ethan : Hey! We're going to the land where they invented spaghetti! Lizzie : Yeah, and the best part is Kate and all the little teeth-whitening friends who'd be ragging on me for messing up graduation went to Water-slide Wonderland. Kate : How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation. IN THE PLANE Miss Ungermeyer : Hey. Zip it. IN THE HOTEL CAMBINI Miss Ungermeyer : Here we are. Step right up. Number one. Number two... Welcome to the Hotel Cambini. Lest you think there are many of you and less of me and it will therefore be easy to pull anything over on me, think again. In addition to being smarter, faster, and better- looking than most of you, I've also enlisted a little help. The assistant manager of the hotel, Giorgio Averni, was a commander in the ltalian Navy and is therefore as up on his game as I am mine. Giorgio, would you like to brief my students on the security procedures of the hotel? Giorgio : We serve at 5 : The cookies. Miss Ungermeyer : Yeah. You heard the man. Room assignments. David Gordon...you will be rooming with Ethan Craft. You'll be in room 103. Ethan : Are those English or ltalian numbers? Miss Ungermeyer : You got a problem with that, Gordon? Gordon : Um, no, ma'am. Any room is just - just fine for me. Miss Ungermeyer : Being a spineless jellyfish is almost as unattractive as being a little brownnoser. McGuire! Seeing as how Margaret Chan was unable to make the trip, you will be rooming with... Animated Lizzie : Okay, I am not, under any circumstances, sharing a room with… Kate : I'll be taking the bed by the window. You don't mind, do you? Animated Lizzie : Uh, yes! Lizzie : No. Kate : I sleep much better with the Swiss eiderdown. Lizzie, seeing as we're roomies and we're gonna be spending time together, I wanted to let you know I understand you want to put all that embarrassing stuff behind you and just move on and have a fresh start. Lizzie : You do? Kate : Yes. I understand your dream. It's a big dream. It's a huge dream, and you can't do it alone. In fact, I don't think you can do it at all. Let it go. Gordo : Lizzie, come on. Lizzie : Gordo, what? Gordo : Don't worry. Don't worry. Lizzie : Where are we going? Gordo : Look. Lizzie : Wow! Gordo : Pretty cool, huh? 40 Lizzie : You know what, Gordo? I'm not gonna let Kate Sanders get to me. Promise me something. Gordo : Anything. Lizzie : Promise that when we're here, we'll find adventures. All right? This is our chance to start over. I mean, do anything that we want to do. Gordo : Yeah. I know. You're right. Hmm. You and me. Adventures. Deal. Lizzie : Deal. AT TREVI FOUNTAIN Miss Ungermeyer : The Trevi Fountain was designed by Gian Lorenza Bernini and Peitro da Cortona in the 17th century. And it took about 100 years to finish this bad boy. Throughout history, people have come from all over the world to make a wish and toss their coin in the Trevi Fountain. I tell you something. Those people are suckers. You got to make your own luck in this world. All right, moving on, people. Let's go. Scusi, Grazie. Scusi, Grazie. Lizzie : You know what? Forget what she says.