Volume 18 Number 11 The Official Newspaper of Douglas College April 8, 1994 Grad- Date Changed; No Notice· Given Posters Administration to Attend Bash in Kelowna to By Jason Kurylo that time, Atkinson told them the Education Council of British Co­ well before then. decision had been made a only a lumbia, held this year in Kelowna. Said Flannery: "Mr. Atkinson Blame Graduating students be warned: few days before. As far as The opening ceremonies begin at said, 'You can appeal the decision Your grad date has been moved from Wesley's concerned, that's a lie. 6:30 that evening, and the confer­ ifyou want to, but you won't win.'" Gundrum June 16 to June 15, to accommodate "Obviously, they knew in ence goes until midday June 18. Wesley agreed, saying Atkinson DC Administrators' attending a party January, as shown by this letter," Ponitng took over the Grad used those exact words to her. given the boot in Kelowna. said Wesley. "And with decisions Coordinator position in mid-Janu­ Wesley is livid. "I don't care for illegal ads Official notification of the ary. She called the Administration what AI Atkinson's doing or what taking so long to be made up by Daniela Zanatta change is scheduled to have been there, they probably knew as Office to routinely confirm the date anybody else up there in those little As you know, from March 29 to April mailed out by the time this paper goes early as December." of the grad. At that time, she was offices are doing. This is our gradu­ 6, Douglas College held elections for the ation, not theirs. We've worked two to print. Unofficial notification has Both students have had dif­ told the 16th was out of the ques­ DCSS executive.While you were out vot­ been attempted, in the form of tack­ ficulties making arrangements tion, as the Admin.'s time was al­ and a half years to get here, and ing, you may have noticed Rick board notices, and family mem­ ready booked for that day. now they decide to change our Gundrum's name crossed off the bal­ quests that depart to attend the Ponting then approached date, not tell us, and not let us lots. The reason for this can now be ex­ plained. ment heads make dates. Atkinson, asking what she should know." 's mother do. At that point, Atkinson told her Atkinson encourages students One of the DCSS by-laws states that all campaigning must stop at least 10 to change with concerns to contact him at his to rebook the grad for another day. hours before the scheduled polling time. llUV'UUJ.:>-V,lU flight "I must have found out that first office. The phone number is 527- Unfortunately, Gundrum failed to re­ s from En­ week I was here," said Ponting. "I 5385. "Graduation is what this col­ move all of his posters and thus was dis­ and wouldn't have sent out that memo lege is all about. This situation is qualified. A controversy arose when it unless I had already finished unfortunate, but it was unavoid­ came to light that other nominees had able." failed to remove all of their campaign more so than others. rebooking everything." posters but were not disqualified. Debbie Wesley June 16, listed in the College One reason that was given for this Shannon Pr·v~------~ Calendar as the grad date, was de­ This Issue: was that Gundrum left almost 35 per­ are Psych Nursing Students at Dou­ ceremony. cided upon in spring '93. Accord­ cent of his posters on the wall, whereas glas College, and thus have been in­ Atkinson is concerned with ing to Atkinson, "this is the first Troy Townsend, the nominee for presi­ volved in off-campus practical work any difficulties faced by students time we've ever changed the date dent, left less than 5 percent of his cam­ experience for most of this semester. as a result of the new plans, but as is listed in the Calendar." paign posters up. All campaigning is supposed to stop by the designated time says there is no chance of re­ On Feb. 26, Wesley happened Atkinson stands by his state­ so as not to influence voters. upon an unofficial memo addressed scinding the decision. ''The only ment with regards to a mid-Febru­ Angus Adair asks the qq.es~ On April 7, an emergency meeting to Flannery, who had volunteered at person that can officially hand ary decision date. Officially, this is tion: "How much is a news­ was held by the DCSS Representative the last grad ceremony. The out the diplomas and true. According to minutes, a man­ paper worth'?"... page 8 Committee due to a controversy with communique, dated Jan. 27, was certi:ficaates is Karen agement committee voted to sanc­ the election procedures. The Rep Com­ from Graduation Coordinator Leah Henderson, the Chairman of the tion the grad change on Feb. 1. It mittee is comprised of the Executive Of­ Theatre Galore ficers: President, Treasurer, Vice-presi­ Ponting, and clearly stated the Board. She can't very well do Jason Kurylo examines B.C. wasn't given to the Board until Feb. dent External, Vice-president internal, change of date. Strangely, Flannery that if she's not here at the col­ 17. co1lege theatre... page 12 the Maple Ridge Member at large and never received any such letter, and lege." In fact, the host of the Kelowna the Speaker; and the various members was only alerted to its existence when The reason that Henderson, meeting didn't officially announce Opinion representing programs and services. Wesley told her about it. and most adrninistators, will not the dates for the conference until the D. G. Black takes a look at radi­ The meeting was called to discuss Both students separately ap­ be here on June 16, is that they ·first week of February. Officially. cal feminism, and Dug Hebert proper policy and procedures regarding the elections. The main topic of discus­ proached AI Atkinson, the Dean of will be in attendence at the an­ However, someone somewhere must asks about politics, apathy, sion was the appeal process and amend­ nual meeting of The Advanced and everything else... page 10 Educational and Student Services. At have known of the crossed dates ing it for this and future elections. The nominees have a chance to make an ap­ peal, within 72 hours of the unofficial ·DC Student Takes 2nd National Title election results being posted, to the Appeal Board on any decisions that have By Jason Kurylo Once there, she had no on­ been made. court hesitations. She won the fi­ At this time it is expected that Gundrum will appeal. As Gundrum is Meet Julia Chen. nal game of the competition 11-0, presently the Intuim Vice-President In­ At first glance, this polite, shy, 11-0. Not exactly a polite, shy, and and unassuming 24 year-old ternal, he will be required to relinquish unassuming win. his position to the nominated candidate, wouldn't immediately inspire the Chen modestly turns talk away Cheryle Jones, if the election results are words, "Female Athlete of the from her back-to-hack titles. Due declared official without an appeal be­ Year." Last Friday, at the Douglas ing made. to her past experience playing for College Athletics Awards Cer­ the Chinese National Team, she emony, she was honoured with that doesn't really consider the college At press time the Unofficial election re­ sults are: exact title. And deservedly so. title all that big a deal, personally. Chen, for the second year in a More of a concern, challenge-wise, row, has brought home to Douglas is her course-load here. President: Troy Townsend the Women's Singles Gold Medal "I am working hard, very hard. Vice President Internal: Cheryle Jones from the Canadian National Colle­ I have to work hard, to stay." Vice President External: Dave Seaweed giate Badminton Tournament. Chen is currently on a student Treasurer: Julian Smit She wasn't even sure if she visa from her homeland China, and Maple Ridge Member at Large: Gayle wanted to make the trip to the East hopes to stay. "I hope I can play Ryan Coast, where this year's tournament my best for Douglas, then maybe took place. The only Douglas com­ someday for Canada." Pending the outcome of any appeals, petitor to qualify for this year's na­ Thank you, Julia, and good these results will become official April tionals, Chen was worried about the luck with everything. 11 at 2:30pm. The candidates will take social aspects of such a jaunt. office September 1. 2 Other Press April 8, 1994 Douglas• Best Honoured at Sports Banq

by Candice Lee

This year's spring banquet was held on March 25. All 12 sports teams as well as special guests from the college administration and sports program supporters were present. The evening started off with an excellent dinner, followed by the awards ceremony which was hosted Women's Basketball Team by Douglas College Student Society standing (L-R) : Celeste Rivet. Brooke Nygard, Richard Norman. Vice-President External, David Sea­ Robyn Knight. Janice Mcintosh. Tania Penafiel weed. All went reasonably well ex­ sitting (L-R) : Diana Marcinko, Jenee Lutz. Tracy Cavanagh, Sheri Wheelchair Basketball (left to right): cept that the awards and speeches Zimmerman Joe Higgins. Tim Frick. Don Turner. Terry Cole were rushed by the time factor put on by the organizers. All teams did reasonably well this season and hopefully next year will be even better. Good luck to all teams!

The DC Golf Team (left to right): Gert VanNiekerk. Gordon Murry. Dave Townshend

Badminton Team : Standing (L-R) : Corey Loken. Coach Peter Chen. Gary Nguyen Sitting (L-R) : Julia Chen, Tomomi Ohkubo, Tosca Lueks The following awards were given out at the sports banquet: Women's Rugby Team (L-R) : Jen Fletcher. Pam Hadikin, Coach G.QI.E Mike Collins. Amy Hadikin, Shannon Jette MVP: Dave Townshend

Women's Volleyball MVP: Sasha Klunder Wheelchair Basketball Women's Rugby BacJminton Most Improved: Lynda Quan MVP: Terry Cole MVP: Kelly McCallum MVP: Julia Chen Most Versatile:Blyn McMullin Most Improved: Dan Turner Best Forward: Pam Hadikin Most Dedicated Player: Corey Loken All Conference Awards: Sasha Klunder Men Best Back: Amy Hadikin Most Improved Player: Tosca Lueks Chris Wohlleben Most Improved: Jen (CLIFF) Fletcher Male Rookie-of-the-Year: Gary Nguyen Sheryl Murphy Men's Soccer Rookie-of-the-Year: Shannon Jette Female Rookie-of-the-Year: Tomomi Ohkubo All Canadian Award: Sasha Klunder Player's Choice: Ted Brennan All Conference Award: Julia Chen Banana Bender: Markus Haab Men's Basketball All Canadian Award: Julia Chen Women's Basketball Big Foot: Ted Brennan No Hesitation Awards: Onkar Kayre MVP: Robyn Knight "Grit Your Teeth" : George Rallis Human Pogo Stick: Chad Caldwell Female Athlete of theYear: Best Defense: Jennee Lutz "Zombie": Daryl Graham Charlie Hustle: Chris Pershick Julia Chen; Badminton Team Leadership: Celeste Rivet All Conference Award: Ted Brennan Cool in the Clutch: Dave Gill Rookie - of~ the-Year: Janice Mackintosh Get it out: Scott Walton Male Athlete of the Year: Most Inspirational: Joanne Blesch Pick up Your Shorts: Vern Knopp Men's Volleyball Vern Knopp; Men's Rugby Tania Penafiel Thankless Award: Jeff Foo Oh No You Don't: Justin Padvaiskas All Conference Awards: Robyn Knight Dribble Before you Shoot: Tony Pomonis Most Persistent: Jason Cook Coach of the Year: Celeste Rivet Versatility Award: Brad Premack All Conference Awards: Vern Knopp Chad Caldwell Sean Beasley; Basketball Women's Soccer Men's Rugby All Canadian Award: Vern Knopp Most Improved: Shannon Thompson MVP: Bill LaCroix Outstanding Team Player: Jolene Smith Best Forward: Derek Hill Men's Wrestling Mariko Glover Best Back: Owen Dawkins Outstanding Wrestler: Dave Garvin All Conference Awards: Mariko Glover Most Improved: Craig Anderson Student Athlete: Vladimir Haintz Tricia Kayne Jeff Stromgren Jolene Smith Rookie-of-the-Year: Doug Hamilton Women's Wrestling Outstanding Competitor: Spring Johnson Most Improved: Lee Syrja April 8, 1994 Other Press 3

Perspective on the Environment by Candace Brown

Wednesday evenings for the we need a balance of the combined the night from 11:00 pm to 5:00 am GLOBE94 students taking IDST 102 Environmen­ disciplines and the willingness of busi­ and all day on Sundays. he Globe Turns to ·oouglas College tal studies has been enlightening. ness and individuals to take specific In addition to saving re­ For those interested in the responsibility. The Ministry and Val sources, our physical health is pro­ environment the course has provided Schaefer agree that a way to begin tected through external planning of By Patrick Lane making change is to educate the gen­ a fresh perspective on a subject that the grounds surrounding the college There was a hum of ex­ range of international partici­ has become a common household eral public and students. Having the to include plants in the landscaping citement, and a furvor of activ­ contribution of the speakers which pants were connected by two word. Since taking this course, com­ that need little maintenance. This ity surrounding the recent GLOBE things: 1)The hope of improving mented one student "I think more the public is invited to attend ac­ ensures cost efficiency and reduces 94 Confrence on Monday March complishes this goal. It also gives the current global state for fol­ about the environmental consequences the need for spraying toxic pesticides. 2 1. With the Earth Summit be­ lowing generations, and2)1ike all of my actions. I think everyone should the audience and opportunity to re­ Internally the air we breathe is com­ ing the last international gath­ ceive the answers to individual con­ businesses, the pursuit of profit. take this course." pletely replaced 2 112 times per hour. ering on environmental issues With this being the case, the at­ cerns. IDST 102 Environmental studies and business, the registering del­ Each Wednesday evening will be offered again in the winter Paper recycling is one of mosphere was a sincere, down accommodates a lecture and speaker the most successful approaches to­ egates were highly anticipatory to earth(no pun intended), open semester, 199 5. For more informa­ of their opporrunity to view the who presents a different aspect of tion contact Val Schaefer in Biology. wards being environmentally friendly. forum intending to offer solu­ environmentalissues. The College The amount of solid waste that Dou­ "cutting edge" technologies be­ tions, and perhaps create some invites speakers from business, in­ glas College produces has been re­ ing presented(along with Envi­ through economic partnership. dustry, government and special in­ Douglas College duced by recycling paper products. ronmental Management seminars and an International Business With the Trade-Fair terest groups. Students are given Laidlaw, the disposal com­ Sustainable ? Contacts. Centre). being the most exciting and in­ reading material in advance, which is pany, picks up 1.25 metric tonnes per formative, !(with the assistance then highlighted through a lecture and week (65 tonnes per year) of solid The welcoming recep­ of Andrea Taggart and Val videos. The material is then given waste from the College. The College tion was hosted by Premier Mike Shaefer) have taken the oppor­ another outlook by the guest speaker. by Candace Brown recycles approximately 18 tonnes of Harcourt, and he started his ad­ tunity to invite many local en­ The format gives the stu­ paper annually which reduces our solid dress by outlining the reasons vironmental companies to attend B.C. supports the Globe Founda­ dents a multi-disciplinary in an area that Douglas College has a goal waste and saves 12 hectares of trees. the upcoming DOUGLAS COLLEGE tion. British Columbia now has has been primarily scientific. "My ex­ to become a sustainable institution. To guarantee maximum efficiency of ENVIRONMENT DAY on Monday, pectation was to learn anything about the amount of paper used, the copi­ over 400 environmental April11(from 10 A.M. to 4 P.M.) In less than five years Dou­ creating a sustainable society." com­ ers in the College allow for double companies(vested economic in­ in the Main Concourse. Volun­ glas College will have saved $80,000 ments one student. I have a tragic lack sided copying and the toner car­ terests), and is strategically lo­ teer Help and/ or Questions or and done inestimable good for the of knowledge and it is important for me tridges can be reused. The college cated at the "front door to Asia­ Concerns are welcome and environment simply by changing its to continue learning more." also uses paper with an average con­ Pacific". lighting. In collaboration with the · appreciated(Contact Patrick at tent of SO % recycled material. He summarized by 451-3971 or Andrea at 463- The course was developed af­ Ministry of skills and training and stating "the high priority we are 0023). ter the Ministry of Advanced training technology and BC Hydro's Power The present location of Dou­ all here for- Biodiversity", and and Technology called for proposals Smart Program the College recently glas College was deliberately chosen In summnation, I no­ the treatment of our environ­ from institutions in the Province to fur­ replaced its existing lighting system to serve the expanding development ticed that U.S. Vice-President AI mental goals. After waiting over ther educate students regarding environ­ to more efficient ballast's with 3 2 watt in the New Westminster town centre. Gore(and Deputy Prime-Minister twenty minutes, I had the op­ mental issues that are plaguing our bulbs. The changes cost $450,000 of The College is close to transporta­ Shiela Copps not visible at her portunity to thank the Premier planet today. Val Schaefer and other in­ which $1 00,000 was covered by a grant tion, housing and shopping, reducing reception) cancelled his atten­ for his future efforts to raise structors at Douglas College responded from BC Hydro. The College will re­ the need to use automobiles in the dance at the Globe Confrence. BCSCAP(British Columbia Student to the ministry's call by creating a course cover its costs through energy by 1998. lower Mainland region. Douglas Col­ This leaves a burning problem; that would combine the studies of sci­ lege has taken several steps towards Assistance Plan) limits to meet in democratic societies we are The heating system is one ence and arts. its plan to be a leader in creating a the demands of considerable in­ of the more valuable savings. The led to believe that our elected sustainable institution and it con­ flation increases. representatives will show equal Science alone will not solve temperature in the building is low­ tinues to grow. His response included the problems of the planet therefore ered to 60 degrees Fahrenheit through concern with the public on prob­ the future restruction of exist­ lematic issues, and act accord­ ing grade 11 and 12 systems to ingly. meet the need for improvement. However. with this not Great, however that has nothing being the situation, we as a com­ to do with loan assistance for mon society, must act together post-secondary students. Our to solve our problems(through conversation ended when I men­ educating ourselves of our al­ tioned his recent efforts to ex­ ternatives) and rely less on our port B.C. lumber overseas. beurocrats. If they respond ap­ The Trade-Fair was propriately, it's a bonus. Please represented by over forty na­ show you care(enough to learn) tions worldwide, with the ma­ about your environment, and join jority from first world countries. us on Monday to view the t:Xhib- . The multi-cultural exhibits dis­ its. Together we can make Dou­ played the newest methods of glas College and thus the Globe, dealing with the world's major a better place. REMEMBER, Good pollutant problems(water, land, Dreams Should Never Be Forgot­ and air pollution). The wide ten! 4 Other Press April 8, 1994

Well, here we are at the end of yet another semester. What MURF does that mean? EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS. Yay! of t~-e. Before you start, or continue in some cases, pulling out your hair to prepare for these feeble meters of your knowl­ edge and ability, think about this: One of the worst influences WEEK on your ability to memorize, recall, and perform, is stress. If you're going to study your ass off, plan for a two-hour break somewhere in there to replace it. You'lllook pretty stu­ pid without an ass ... Besides, if you remain assless, you'll start studying other parts of your body off Eventually, you won't have a hand l~ft to write the exam, and it would suck if you had to stand up through the whole thing, anyway. Take a break. Relax. Maybe eat a Kit Kat or something. One fact you may like to know: it has been clinically proven that the libido of the average student aged 18-30 triples dur­ ing exam time. It's true. So, grab your fave partner, study up a storm, and do what comes naturally. Pardon the pun. Once the exam mess is over, it's back to the books for some, off to work at shitty summer jobs for others, and over to the POL1:T1:C,1:AU sandy shores for the rest. Whatever your summer months have SMURF in store, or storage, for you, have a good one! We love you guys, really we do!

Letters the lay-out of the cover page looked very • draw a picture of the boss and If she catches you, professional and it caused me to extend put it through the shredder April 8, 1994 my hand and grab a copy. Later on, as I • draft your letter of resignation watch out .... browsed through the pages that same The Other Press is Douglas College's autonomous student • empty the water cooler on the newspaper. We've been here since 1976. We aim to serve the stu­ Dear Other Press: "Something" kept me interested in the contents of this issue, and guess what it floor and make paper boats for the new dents. staff, and faculty of Douglas College with a newspaper that 'lake' This letter is to all you assholes was?: The Other Press crew did a God informs them of things happening at the college, across Canada, and out there who insist upon using the damn good job on this issue which • feed the starving (oops, that's around the world that affect them. We also aim to give the college handicap button to open doors for you deserves being pointed out, credited and impossible) and community a chance to write and express themselves. We also because you are too GOD DAMN congratulated. • house the homeless (uh .... aim to be an interesting read . If we're not doing any or all of these FUCKING lAZY to reach out and push My relations with the Other that's not possible either things to your liking, please let us know. You can mail a letter to us at it open with your hand. When I see you do this I want to kick you in the Press had not been the best in the last • play tic-tac-toe until lunch Box 2503, New Westminster. BC, V3L 582, or drop it off at the couple of semesters but, hey, I can make fucking ass! • folding the memo a few times, mailroomwhich is right beside our office, or you can fax us at 527- an exception this time and felicitate use it to block the latch of the fire exit, 5095, or you can call us at 525-3542, or you can come see us at Because of your inability to those who worked very hard enabling you to come back after hours Room 1020 in Douglas College's New West campus. We like you .... learn how to properly open a door, these (overnight) to materialize this particular EXPENSIVE doors must be repaired to commit heinous pranks come visit. issue. constantly, due to people kicking them • correct (in red) for spelling, I feel that the person who staff this issue open with their feet and just from the puctuation, and grammar and return worked on the cover of this issue should Jason Kurylo looked at his watch, and figured it was just about time plain OVERUSE. Have you ever thought with grade be given merit for his outstanding job, he and 'lara Meiklejohn went hunting for lapinis verte grande, a rare breed of about the physically challenged people of course it was no accident that he did • cut out masks and play Lone huge green rabbit, only found in some parts ofSouthAmerica and Tony Sousa's who must use these doors?? Have you such a good job - He Oason) had to Ranger backyard. They left Holly Keyes' house when she ran out of chocolate easter ever considered how it feels to these stay working graveyard hours for 3 eggs: Angus Adair was wont to follow, so off they went to Tony's place. They people when the doors don't work Found kicking around campus nights in a row to get it done. So for were surprised to fmd Manjit Brar, and Dug Hebert drinking coffee in the because some NO-MIND like yourself this, I will acknowledge that people who kitchen, talking worriedly. Daniela Zana~ and Ronnie Bains had gone miss­ is either too lazy or too stupid to know ·Democracy work hard at things to deliver results to ing in the jungle of Tony's backyard! They had to be found. A search party was whether to PUSH or PULL??? serve others should be recognized and Doesn't Work called, complete with high-tech weapons. nG Black, Bert C. Ennah, and Chad People like you really need a slap not left behind the curtains in this I'VUSOn wanted nothing to do with the whole mess, and left to get an asparagus Dear Other Press, in the head. Someday, you may be in rostrum called Life. pizza. Things were tense, as the green burmies had set up effigies ofMike Dutton, need of assistance of one of these I'd like to point something Candice Lee, Jim Irving, 'Irent Ernst, and Lisa Marie Aarts to confuse them. automated doors and I REALLY HOPE Oscar Lardizabal N. out that seems to elude even the edu­ Finally, after hours of searching they found them. The situation had calmed that the big red knob doesn't work, cated folk around campus. down. In tense negotiations, Patrick Lane and Candace Brown worked out an because some IDIOT just like you, broke Democracy doesn't work. equitable arrangement, in which the bunnies received 4,000 pounds of choco­ Hilarity found it. Not many people like to pay late easter eggs per annum. In return, the green hares agreed not to tear out Karyn Wilde around credence to this truth, but that doesn't their throntums. Unfortunately, Tim Crumley is listed among the few who didn't make it go away. Rationalization is make it outof the whole mess alive, and thus won't again be seen jigging to TO: all staff commonly used to ignore democracy's rastabilly skank, as he oft was. Sean Veley would have been pleased. Hey wow! FROM: anonymous incompetence.The problems in electing Somebody likes re: (yet more) better uses for an office someone who will accurately and fairly Coordinating Staff memo represent us all are not simply minor us, mom! flaws in our or someone else's particular Production - vacant (Tim Crumley acting) • poster a hundred copies of it Dear Other Press: in the author's neighbourhood, so system. News- vacant I would like to congratulate the everyone knows what an anal retentive A Nobel Prize was handed out Features - vacant people who are responsible for the great pinhead s/he is. to the man who produced a thorough Sports - vacant job done on the issue ofrhe Other Press • crumple it up and clog the study of the paradox of voting to show released on the 12th of March of this toilets at the mall that no democracy anywhere could ever Arts & Entertainment - Tara Meiklejohn current year. I had noticed a lack of unity fullHll it's mandate without resorting to • make spitballs Editorials & Opinion - Manjit Brar and aesthetics as well as variety in the dicatorship. · • practice forging the bosses' Classified - Dug Hebert past issues of the Other Press that made Kinda explains some stuff huh? me reluctant to reach out my hands to signature Photography - Mike Dutton Yeltsin firing on his own grab a copy, especially on issues previous • slash your wrists (paper cuts, parliament. Trudeau's War Measures Graphics - vacant to this current one. ya know) Office - Tim Crumley Act. Even the Douglas College Student. Nonetheless, the cover of the • glue it to your supervisors' Society having an election where I If you are interested in becoming involved in the paper, March 12th issue caught my attention. desk witnessed someone vote twice. or taking on coordinating duties, please all 525-3542. It looked significantly different than the • make paper pirate hats and last issue. It had a "Something" to it, A.C. Assandra have yourself a mul;iny April 8, 1994 Other Press 5 Dear Angeline: advice for the lovelorn Dear Angeline: talk to him trying to get him to think each person perceives from the relation­ last year and I met this nice guy. We pends on how close you are to your I went out with a guy whom I w.as of me just as a friend. I just treat him ship, when this is not clearly expressed, exchanged addresses and we write to boyfriend and how much time you get really good friends with, because he w.as like a big brother and friend. But he problems arise. In your case you and each other. He lives close to my rela­ to spend together. If you are finding a guy and I'm a girl. I knew we'd end keeps nagging me to go out with him. your friend did not discuss your per­ tives and I'm thinking about seeing that you do not spend enough time to­ up going out eventually. I did not think He has an ego and is very confident that ception of the relationship. He obvi­ them but making a side trip to go see gether this might be a good time to do of it at first but he told me that he w.as I will go out with him again. He wants ously assumed you were interested in him. The catch is my boyfriend. I re­ so. However, if you see each other all interested in me. We finally went out. me back real bad and he's the type that more than just a friendship. Now all ally want to go on a trip with him but the time maybe a break would be a good But I did it just for fun. I had never doesn't take hints! Help me! you can really do is just explain that your not with me to see the guy or my rela­ idea. If you're very close then there been serious and I even had two boy­ STUCK IN THE MIDDLE feelings for him are just friendship, and tives. I haven't made plans yet but I shouldn't be a problem seeing this guy, friends at one point. I know I w.as prob­ if he can't accept that he needs to keep sort of invited him along and he men­ being that there is an understanding that ably wrong in doing so, so I broke up Dear Stuck in the Middle: his distance because you won't put up tioned something about going to see his you are only friends with him. If you with him because he w.as pressuring me There is nothing wrong with hav­ with his nagging or egotism. Cut the relatives. What it comes down to is I don't ~e this clear he might also get into sex. But because we have similar line and free yourself, but if this con­ want to meet the guy I met on my trip the wrong idea and be hurt. Unless of interests we saw each other again. I do ing male friends. But there should al­ ways be a clear understanding of what tinues don't hesitate to get help. Other alone but I don't want to leave my boy­ course you have feelings for him. If that still want to be friends with him, so I options are to notify your local police friend. What should I do? is the case, then you need to deal with detachment that you are being stalked CONFUSED these feelings by taking some time to by an ex-boyfriend and would like to consider this situation and how you feel know what kind of measures you can Dear Confused: about him, then after you dectde you take to ensure your protection. You The question you're really faced need to talk with him and let your boy­ AGreat Place to Wind Up could also try contacting your nearest with is do you want to get to know this friend know. Your best bet is to weigh crisis line for further direction. guy, who may only be a friend or use the options, consider your feelings, this opportunity to spend some quality then stick to your decision, but ensure Dear Angeline: time with your boyfriend. It also de- openness and honesty. Before or After the Game I went on a trip with my girlfriend Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Rip Off by Trent Ernst all new jokes." Not really. This install- popular. After watching The Final In- Th hi h f Nak d G ment in the Naked Gun saga is rife with ~. I was left with an empty, unful- 0 77 , 1 17 e g mom! enlnt t ~ din the same sort of jokes and sight gags filled feeling, like eating a McDonald's ~comes eary. tac , 1 comes th d th . . h b b h . th . dits I 't . at rna e e preVlous two moVles so C eese urger. Tasty, ut not enoug d urmg e openmg ere . won rum . the suprise for you, but it ranks up there substance to make it truly worthwhile. with Zaa Zaa Gabor's "Every time I go shopping"line from Naked Gun 2 '11The Smell of Fear's opening credits. I won't say that it goes downhill after the credits have run, but it certianly Be 0 Pressed! does not aspire to any great heights. Frank Drebbin, played by the indefati­ gable Leslie Nelson, has retired from Come join the ranks here at the Dou­ police squad. It's been six months, and 50- 8th STREET he hasn't shot anybody. He and his wife glas College paperI We offer no pay, NEW WESTMINSTER, B.C. (Prisctla Presley) have settled into post­ honeymoon married life, where things no benefits, and most of the time, no V3M 3N8 aren't as exciting as they once were. So when Frank's cop buddies (played by stimulating conversation. But, hey, PHONE: 524-9788 George Kennedy and O.J. Simpson) FAX: 524-4983 come knocking at the Drebbins' door, we're really cute and cuddly. our erstwhile hero is easily convinced to help out the fellows at Police Squad Try us. You'll like us. tVe go to great lengths. one last time. The tal( line for 3 3 1I 3 is "Mostly

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or contact the Office of The Registrar, UNBC, 1399 - 6th Ave., Prince George, BC V2l5P2 6 Other Press April 8, 1994 Looking for a Change

It's a simple set and a small cast; four chairs, two mothers and two sons. There is really no place to run and hide. Have It 's that kind of up-front attitude in Peter Gill's Small Change that attracted director Catherine Caines when sh e was seeking the n ext production for Douglas College's Studio Theatre. A Set in working-class England, Small Change stretches from the post-war 40s to the late 1960s. In that time, it probes the relationships between sons and mothers as well as the children's slow, inevitable march into adulthood. {L-R) Tyler Page, Lorraine Wilson, Daniela Vlaskalic, Bryn Williams in Small Change "This is the kind of play I most Good enjoy, in which the actor is the centre randomness of our own thoughts and think." of the event,' ~ays· Caines. "There is one memories. Those memories shift from SmaU Change runs with 8 pm set with four chairs so it's up to the ones of poverty and despair to others of performances on April 8, 9 and 12-16 actors to create the environments with love, humour and hope. as well as two-for-one 2 pm matinees their words." "The work functions like one on April 10 and 16. The environments created weave man's memory, it's like a series of verbal Performances are in Room 4140 back and forth through time. We find photographs," offers Caines. "It gives the of the New Westminster campus of out about the Harte and Driscoll f.unilies students the chance to work on a Douglas College, at 700 Royal Avenue. through free-flowing monologues and wonderful script and allows the Tickets are $8, and $5 for students and dialogues that appear with the audience a chance to feel instead of just seniors; call 527-5488 for information. TH lS

:pisces (FEB 19- MAR 20)Thereisno justice, so you might as well not even leave the house today. (oh yeah, you)re already at school, aren't you. See what I mean, no justice, you can't even refuse to leave the house today.) Aries (MAR 21 -APR 19) Don't let people who chew with their mouths open get your goat. Keep in mind that they were probably beaten as a child. TCllli'm (APR 20 - MAY 20) If you get the feeling you are running into a brick wall, it might be an idea to wear a helmet. Gemini (MAY 21 - JUN 2 2) If you see someone who looks familiar, don't worry about it. It's probably just you travel­ ling through tim~. Cancer (]UN 23 - JUL 22) Make sure you recycle absolutely everything this week. It's just the right thing to do. And a tasty way to do it. Leo (JUL 22 -AUG 22) You might want to avoid grapefruit this week. I see the possibili,ty of eye squrting in ydur fu­ ture. Vugo (AUG 23 - SEP 22) Stay away from Leos eating grape­ fruit. Libm (SEP 23 - OCT 2 2) You'll have trouble deciding to use a fork or a spoon to eat your spaghetti. Go for the fork. Scorpio (OCT 23 - NOV 21) If you experience achey body parts, rub them with Mazola. Better yet have a friend rub you with it and rub them back. Sagittarius (NOV 22 - DEC 21) Don't spend a cent on thera­ pists, personal astrologers, psycic advisors or tofu. If you do you'll regret it in the long run. Capricorn (DEC 22 - JAN 19) You want to wear a silly hat. Aquarius OAN 20 - FEB 18) Pisces plays a major role in ma­ rine ecosystems. Oh yeah, you'll get thirsty.

If today is your birthday. •• Pluto asks Mickey what do with Ura­ nus. The Mighty Ducks do badly this week because of an unexplained virus.

-----··-·· ...... -~ ...... April 8. 1994 Other Press 7 Linden Scores Big on Leadership We By Candice Lee Vancouver Canuck captain Trevor linden, 5 year veteran of the NHL, has Want been all the Canucks had hoped for and more. In addition to being the team cap­ tain and player representative, he dem­ onstrates, through his hard work and determination, that he is also a leader YOU! on the ice. 23 year-old Linden, whom the Canucks drafted 2nd overall in '8 8 was Come on down to the prospected to be the 'superstar' player that the Canucks were looking for. Even though he is not a'superstar', he is how­ Other Press. Over the sum­ ever a valuable as~ w-the Canucks by contributing with his leadership, skill mer, we're still gonna be and size. At 6'4", 205lbs, Linden is one big here, plugging away and customer. Although he is not a fighter, he will stand up to a challenge. linden trying to put out the best is a solid two-way player scoring 30 goals and 2 9 assists in his rookie season darned paper we know in '88-89. In 1991 after the blockbuster trade how. with St. Louis which brought Cliff Ronning and Geoff Courtnall among So, if you'd like to help others, linden was immediately put on a line with center Ronning and left winger Courtnall.The line, dubbed "The out, learn some great Life line" carried the Canucks through the final II games of that season en­ things about how to.. : abling them to clinch the last playoff spot in the last game of the regular sea­ well, you get the jist of it. son in overtime against the Winnipeg Jets. During the summer, we When linden was named team cap­ tain in 1990, he was the youngest cap­ only print once a month, tain in the NHL. Through the years lin­ den alone has carried more pressures because we like the sun­ than any other player on the team. He endured the hectic and stressful times of the strike and one can see his leader­ shine, too. ship off the ice carried onto the ice. mprov, Come on down, bring The Greatest your smiley face, and help Anyone? out (as they say at Earl's, a Guitar Player little, or a lot, we still ap- By Bert C. Ennah preciate it) . You '11 get to in the World With the Vancouver Theatre Sports League downsizing their operations this see your name in print! summer, many local improv-artists are By Trent Ernst going to have to create their own work­ out space. And hang out with some Local comic and Other Press con­ really cool people. (Okay What do you say about a fellow who was tributor Jason Kurylo is hoping to get a drop-in Improv workshop happening so some of us aren't that reputedly described by Hendrix - before his untimely here at the college this summer. "I've been going to the workshops death- as one of his favorite up and coming guitar at the Back Alley Theatre off and on for cool, but some are... Re- players? quite a while. Until they get organized again, there's not much out there like ally, we asked!) What laurels can you add to Eddie minded' as to be 'no earthly good,' this." Van Halen's epitath muttered when, af­ Keaggy kept developing his skills as a As of right now, there are no set ter winning every single guitar award player and songwriter. His output has times for the meetings. Kurylo would known to man, was asked the question been impressive (nearly 20 albums) and like to get an idea of the level of inter­ "What does it feel like to be the great­ ecclectic, ranging from celtic influenced est, first. est guitar player in the world?" Eddie's rock, to pure blues. From an acoustic Greedy Surprises reply? "I don't know. Ask Phil Keaggy." reseting of Grieg's 'Symphonic Dance' "Ideally, there should be between to Beatlesque ethrealism. four and ten people at each workshop", Phil Keaggy. said Kurylo. "Three or less is just 'the Not even Michael J. Who? But because of the walls put up by Guys hanging out,' and more is counter­ both secular and Christian listeners, few productive." Never heard of him. people outside of the Christian commu- Fox can spoil this film ... Phil Keaggy. Guitarist extrodinaire. nity have heard him play. · "It's a great way for performers of all types to improve energy levels, and And almost a complete unknown out­ If there is one over-riding influ­ By Jason Kurylo just plain work out." side... ence on Keaggy, it is his love of the Outside what? Beatles. When he sings, he sounds like Kurylo hopes to get commited I wasn't looking forward to out to be a pleasant surprise. Con­ people, with lots of energy and ideas. Come, do tell us. a cross between McCartney and Lennon Greedy. How excited can one get trary to most big studio comedies, (emphasis on the McCartney). Live, he More than just improv will be explored. when they're about to see a Michael it invariably was, well ... fum1y. The Phil Keaggy. Who is this man? is often given to doing an impromptu "I'll try to pass on the woefully ]. Fox fihn? Especially a Michael-I.­ script, for the most part, was very In 1968, Mr. Keaggy was a mem­ Beatie's cover onstage, not minding au­ small amount I know about focus, Fox-as-a-grown-up-that-hasn't­ well written, establishing a dark, ber of a hot little band known as Glass dience members shouting out the breathing techniques, et cetera. Hope­ Harp (known as what?), where he chords or Lyrics when he forgets. This fully, others joining the group would quite-grown-up-yet film? Although almost sick humour very early on. stayed until 1972. It was while playing doesn't detract from his virtuosity. A) Have more information in these ar­ the cast list provided some prom­ It looked like it might lose steam with Glass Harp that he attracted the Rather, it adds to the intamate, personal eas than I, and B) Be willing to pass on ises, such as Ed Begley, Jr. (always around the 45-minute mark, but attention of the late great Mr. Hendrix. setting of his live show. their knowledge as well." a guilty pleasure,) Kirk Douglas (he gained it back by the end of the fihn. But after four years, Keaggy decided to More often than not, Keaggy per­ Depending on the level and qual­ leave, and pursue a different vein of can act, you know. .. ,) Phil Hartman Personally. I hate when reviewers tell forms solo, as he will be April 16. Just ity of participation, Kurylo hopes to music. "Christian" music. (the only bright SNL spot,) and him, his accoustic guitar, an effects rack, eventually try to put on Theatre Sports the entire story of the movie. Thus, You see, Phil had become a and the audience, an important element shows at the college. Patricia D'Abo (insert sexist YllM I won't dive into that pool. Instead, christian in the process, and pressure here,) but it was still, after all, a to his live shows. Hey, even Monty Python had to I'll just recommend it. All in all, I'd from the outside christian community, Phil Keaggy will be playing April start somewhere. .. Michael ]. Fox vehicle. Oh, for joy, say it's a goodThesday movie. Worth as well as spiritual differences inside the 16 at GladTidings Church in Vancouver. yay. the $4.25, and probably even worm band, caused the split. If anyone is interested in being a Tickets are available through part of this improv project, they can get Luckily, for myself and for the the $5 for popcorn, Greedy is a posi­ Funny thing happened though. Ticketrnaster or at the door. a hold of Kurylo at 520-1795 (ask for makers of the fihn, Greedy turned tive movie-going experience. Instead of becoming so 'spiritually Jason). CQJ ~ INI [ J illL r~re !Lt!Er~~~r ~!E:~[D)f:[D) (\J]O[D) or ~~~~M~~t§M . r~E Jro~r or ~ow ~IE cc~M!L ro ~~w!E: ~~ !Et!Lr~~~r· J ~IE~ [D) ~J ~ (\J]~E~r

0~[ ~~[D)[[[D) ~~[D) ~ll ~J 0 r~~lf!EJ ~or o~tr ~ow ~IE cc~Mrc ro ~~W!E J~cc~ ~ r!ECC~· u~~ r~ccrc: ~~r ~ow ~lE cc~M!E lfO !E:M~O[D) lr lf~!L (G}~~Ulf~rEJ ~!L\\!LJJ~~lrlfO ~IE lf~!E ~!C· MOWlE~ or ~ll O~Jlf~\\l!L:J ~~[D) r~rc [D)~W~~!L [D)!Lr!L~[D)fEK ~r ~J. ~OW!CW!EK ~ Jro~r ro~ . ~~Olf~IL:~ lf~MIL. r~!E Jro~r or ~ow ~IE: \\~MIL lfO ~IE lf~!L [D)~\IQ~~!C [l· @JMlfllE. ~~Jr~~@Jlf~O~ @J~[D) lf@J· r~o~ or ~ll w~~r!E~J ~J r~!E o~r: ~ w~J~ ro ~!CCCO~!Nll The sage Vyasa wished to dictate the great spiritual work that would eventually bear the name, The Mahabharata. This was no ordinary dictation. He was dictating something of power, intensity and profoundness, all in one sitting. No mortal scribe was capable of keeping up with Vyasa. No mortal scribe could do the job without pausing for private revelation or editing the sometimes painful truth out. The job required someone of immense dedication. Someone who could remove obstacles and ensure success. It was a job for Ganesh. He willingly volunteered and wrote as fast as Vyasa could think. Sage and god worked feverishly. And then the pen burst into flames. Surely the end of this noble effort. The truth would never be fully told. Ganesh had failed. But he hadn't. The pen had. So he broke off his tusk and without batting one of those great elephant lashes, he finished the work. I mention this story because it is the ~111 (fJJJ lrllrE ~~~JrllOllrll ultimate example of a writer sacrificing whatever is necessary, even themselves, to get the the story; to get the truth to print on time. While in Nepal, I not only discovered the [=ll[[~ [=ll~j{g)(/JJ~[D) D j ~~~rlll [[ story of the god Ganesh. I also became aware of another more earthly writer. His story is no less remarkable. His name is Padam Thakurathi. He's a journalist in Nepal and he is a source of great LO~~[[~ ~~ lfrll(fJJllf (fJJJ LrE personal inspiration. Padam was involved with a newspaper. It criticized His Majesty's Government of Nepal; frequently acting as a dilligent watchdog. Nepal and wrote about him. It was through A mystery which Padam uncovered and The paper got shut down by His Majesty's Govern­ Greenwald's account that I came to hear printed in a two part expose in 1986. In the world's ment. Thakurathi 's story. only Hindu kingdom no one is allowed to check the So, with the diligence of Ganesh, he simply In 1976 Nepal had 500 heroin addicts, give bags of the royal family when they cross the border. started another paper, called Bimarsha. It's a Nepali or take a junkie. Within a decade that number They are the only ones who have this ability. In weekly known for it's investigative and uncompro­ exploded to over 15 000. Nepal is a landlocked Nepal, given the nature of how the street culture mising reporting. Jeff Greenwald of Mother Jones country with strict border controls. A rampant works and the sweeping powers of police , if met Thakurathi during one of his many trips to influx of heroin with few arrests was not only a someone has a multimillion rupee business in junk, national problem but a mystery. and I'm not referring to scrap metal, the police not only know about it they can crush it. Yet the trade can check the records of Samiti Vej Hospital. Or they is always worth losing a tusk. Padam Thakurathi flourished. can look up Padam in Nepal, like Greenwald did. All almost paid for his dedication with his life. He So, a thriving heroin trade and no arrests. further doubts should be quelled by a look at the should have died. But it was more important that Hmmm. It didn't take long for Padam to document man. Close to 30% of his frontal lobe on the right he lived, so he did. what many suspected. The royal family was smug­ side of his face is missing. A crater. And yet if you After such examples as Padam and gling drugs. Worse, was that they were paying for talk to Padam, like Greenwald did, it should be clear Ganesh, while in Nepal, I returned to Canada. them with smuggled objects of priceless devotional he is still a exemplar of critical thought and dedica­ Now that I've returned, I hear grumbling, art bemgsmuggled out. Nepal's royalty was killing tion to his craft. yet again, from the UBC Alma Mater Society about it's populace insidously and destroying it's spiritual He is Ganesh in human form. The pen broke shutting down the Ubyssey. I've heard that The legacy. Understandably, many others had put the and so despite the personal " disfigurement" he Ubyssey is too critical of the student government. facts together. Equally understandable was the fact carried on and got the truth to print. And truth is not I thought of Padam's first paper. I that few if any Nepalis had bothered to speak the always easy to meet eye to missing eye_. It is not wo_ndered if the Ubyssey would survive. accusations aloud or commit them to print. always pretty. Then I thought of Bimarsha. The truth was too painful. Except one man But to journalists like Padam Thakurathi it Bimarsha survived an assasin's bullet. with the spirit of Ganesh was willing to make sure Padam, like Ganesh, just snapped off a tusk and the story got printed for the same reasons that others kept writing. No matter how much it seems that wouldn't. Despite whatever dire consequences might purveyors of truth can be killed, the truth can't. ensue. When it comes time for the AMS to fork I do not know if I can adequately convey out for The Ubyssey and ask themselves if they the depth of the consequences. I will however really should have to pay that much for a newspa­ describe what happened one night after Bimarsha per I ask they consider a shot in the dark that fingered the brothers of the king for their crimes. INJILW Jr~riL~ He had been participating in a journalism conference that lasted all day. I have been to countless such conferences but I have never had the WO~Tin? night Padam had afterwards. He came home and took his family to a friend's house; honoring a dinner invitation. They returned home and went to bed. Padam's wife awoke first. It was the gunshot that woke her. She threw on the light and almost col­ lapsed. Her husband's right eye was no longer in his face. The mattress was saturated with his blood. It came from the gunshot wound to the head that he had just taken. •Kuga oYumen In Nepal any man who takes a gunshot to • Jluquan the face at point blank range while he sleeps is •Shache •CMmo •YIIlChwan reasonably expected to die. There simply aren't Xiringo •Yutian adequate medical facilities to do the type of emer­ olanchou gency surgery required. e:Xi'an But in Bangok there are. But unless you are exceptionally well •Oamdo oChengtu •Wuhan connected and have some divine and earthly oChungkilg guardians watching over you, the simple truth is you •Changsha won't get to Bangkok in time. Padam needed oochow •KIIlmlng miracles. illpel And they happened. INDIA (:fWAN Padam Thakurathi was a previous member ictoria of the National Assembly, the closest thing pseudo HONG KONG democratic Nepal has to politicians. Miracle number one. The friends he had succeeded in getting -· him to Bangok for surgery. Miracle number two.

couldn't kill the truth. He survived the surgery. Big miracle and no~IL Tin~INJ Consider how much one man was willing miracle number three. The doctor who did the to pay to keep a newspaper alive. surgery was even amazed. A newspaper is worth more than money. He awoke 35 days later in Samiti Vej MOINJILlL ~TD J5 It's worth taking a bullet for. Hospital. All papers should aspire to that standard. Yet another miracle. If you shut them down they never be as good as a He retained all his incisive mental func- WO~Tin l ~W(~~~ ~ small weekly paper called Birnarsha in a small tions. landlocked kingdom called Nepal. • Anyone who doubt such miracles happen ~~LLIET ro~o They'll never get the chance. 10 Other Press April 8, 1994

Welcome to the Matriarch Monkey House (with apologies to Kurt Vonnegut)

By D.G. Black

"Complete liberty implies freedom from the tyranny of ab­ stractions as well as from the rule of men." - George Woodcock, 1 944

After reading a recent Globe and Ernst" goes-to-Auschwitz-and-sees­ in our society. immigrants to Canada were forces of the fascistic politically-cor­ Mail article about a pseudo-feminist only-an-abandoned-summer­ One of my classmates raised the caucasian last year? 2%. Shame. rect, I ask: Do you also see sinister university newspaper, I think the camp" Zundel should be allowed to point that we do not live in a racist Shame. forces at work?Yes, I understand that above quot& should also include continue to spout his version of the society since racism is supposedly Let's define a few terms here just as a male, I am considered by some freedom from women who feel jus­ "truth". I personally believe that in not institutionalized in Canada. That so we all know what we are dealing women to be a potential rapist. As a tified in cutting off my penis. a truly free and democratic society, person also mentioned a very clear with. According to the Gage Cana­ white male, I am also considered by I am referring to a campus news­ freedom of expression should be and important fact: some people are dian dictionary, the following words some to be a potential racist towards paper called Surface at Queen's U ni­ available to everyone; yes, even the bigots and racists, be they light­ are defined as: visible minorities. Now then, could women at Surface who believe they I also be considered part of the nasty versity in Kingston, Ontario. This skinned or dark-skinned, and that's Discrimination - 1. the act of mak­ have justification through political­ patriarch and the evil white "elites" newspaper is presently publishing the way it is. What that person did ing or recognizing differences or correctness to call for the dismem­ that rule our land? As a person who what might either be considered not realize was that there are gov­ distinctions. 2. the ability to make berment - and even death - of fair­ considers himself progressive, egali­ either hyberbole or hate literature. ernment hiring policies that dis­ fine distinctions. 3. the act of mak­ skinned hetero males. An individual tarian, young, attached neither to I'd say hate; what else could you call criminate against people because of ing a difference in favour of or or group should be able to say what any white elitist movements nor to a self-proclaimed white lesbian pub­ their sex, skin colour, and even cul­ against. lication that not only calls for snip­ they want regardless of whether the ture. A recent example was a senior the top of a power structure - that Now, here's an over-used and often ping off my favourite and most ver­ majority agree or disagree with their government job posting in Ontario allows him to discriminate against incorrectly applied verb: satile appendage, but also views. As well, if you have a well­ where anybody was invited to ap­ women, men, lesbians, gays, people prepared and logical argument Racism - 1. the exaggeration of in­ of a darker skin colour than his own, ---because of my fair-skin and het­ ply, except if you were delivered by (most don't), then you should be herent racial differences. 2. a preju­ the wheel-chair bound or the ches­ erosexuality--my death? Not so, nature with the double curse of be­ able to have a forum for your views, dice in favour of certain races. 3. a terfield bound for that matter many of classmates said at a recent ing white and male. Let's not forget regardless if it is politically-correct political or social policy based on in-class discussion about the Surface about the Federal Government's af­ - I do not feel responsible nor do I or not. If you are able to present an racism. article. They believe that since we fumative action programme and its harbour any guilt for any atrocities opposing viewpoint to any subject, cruasde to right the wrongs of er­ Whatever the writers and editors' that whites have committed in the live in a racist society, a Caucasian­ it makes for a mpre lively and intel­ Canadian such as myself can not cry roneous hiring practices; the casu­ intentions are at Surface, they fail past. Specifically, I am a fair-skinned lectually stimulating life, wouldn't alties are fully-qualified caucasian to realize that there is no such thing hetero male and I have nothing to racism because I am part of the you say? Let's not have the Govern­ dominant culture. I always thought males that are turned down for gov­ as reverse discrimination. There is apologize for. I refuse to be an ment of Canada decide what we can ernment positions and end up work­ only discrimation and racism. And apologist and will not kow-tow to that the rapacious beast to the south and can't say, or read for that mat­ was the dominant culture. Appar­ ing as phone order-takers at a compartmentalized, militant ha­ anybody. ter. Censorship creates its own he­ Purolator Courier. Here's another tred that will eat you up. ently not. roes. At the moment, the criminal I say to those that are so full of injustice due to the colonized Now, let's be realistic and sensible hatred at Surface: don't ... make me If the Canadian criminal code code limits everyone's freedom to mindset of the Federal Government: does not consider this hate, then voice views that may be unpopular about this: For those that have not your whipping boy. Guess what percentage of landed had their minds colonized by the Bureaucratic Bullshit, Pretentious Policies and Asinine Amendments

by Dug Hebert

Hey, did you hear about the elec­ was present at the meeting brought for­ around, before the recent election be­ tions for the executive of the Douglas ward the question of which by-law was comes worth a hill of beans. That'll College Student Sodety? Do you know actually broken, it was treated with the probably be all its worth too; all the stu­ the election results?Well ... neither do I dive-and-avoid tactic familiar to a po­ dents who won't be coming back and ... exactly. litical debate on CBC. all the new students who will be join­ Somehow you'd think my atten­ From indirect sources it seems that ing those of us left in September will dance at the April 7'h emergency meet­ the bone of contention might have been be completely neglected in their schools ing would have solved that problem. But that a candidate failed to remove their democratic process. you see, one thing about our Student campaign posters from the college by Not only will the election be stale Sodety is that it is . .. elected. I don't the CROw specified time. by the time it is enacted, but it won't know if you've ever noticed, but a lot A painful bone chard might be that even be statistically valid. In a school of of the time elected offidals have to avoid other candidates also had some mate­ approximately 8,000, the gross vote saying too much; sometimes they actu­ rial up , but managed to take down at count probably ran somewhere around ally do make a lot of noise, but really least 95% of their posters. The disquali­ 200. You people are FUCKING APA­ they say nothing at all. Let's face it. Ba­ fied candidate asked a DC staff member THETIC! sically, all politidans are pompous hair­ to take down their posters (breaking yet The Other Press has a distribution shirred soothsayers. another by-law) because they just didn't of 5000 copies. Do you know what that Their reluctance to express real have the time to come down to the col­ means? There are 4800 people reading thoughts arises out of fear of creating lege. this who didn't vote. (Yeah right, ev­ negative public opinion. They have to Of course none of this was ad­ erybody left the minute I screamed pro­ be extra careful while people are vot­ dressed directly at the meeting. It had fanity) No wonder there's no rush to ing. As you might have noticed if you to be coaxed out of members attending perform the changing of the hair-shirt. have been around the cafeteria in the the meeting in the hallway, where offi­ Nobody seems to care anyway. Maybe it last little while, Douglas College has dal records were not being made. doesn't really matter to you who repre­ been having an election. The results of sents you to the administration. Within the realm of offidaldom, this election will be felt starting Sep­ Maybe next time I'll enter my dog's tember 1" of this year when the newly the meetings concentrated essentially upon bureaucratic bullshit, pretentious name on the ballot and ask for a smiley elected pompous hair-shirted soothsay­ face drawing so you can't see that you're ers will take over from the recently van­ polides and asinine amendments. Two common oxymorons that were flapped voting for a non-human lifeform and quished pompous hair-shirted soothsay­ laugh really hard when he has the power ers. around were "Point of Information", meaning I wanna ask somethin', and "In to appropriate you Student Sodety fees Anyway, back to the emergency Camera", meaning we wanna be alone to pay for a truckload of Milk-Bone and meeting. It ran about two hours. On the and we won't tell you what we are squeaky toys. agenda were three items. (Remember gonna talk about. He can lounge around the College that. Three.) The first Agenda item was Jason Kurylo's "NOT (Is there a hidden camera? I didn't interrupted occasionally to bark at stu­ a motion to give the outgoing elected dents who want to appeal grades, or ask body (in layman's terms, the sore los­ see one. Are they making blue movies?) If they want to be alone why don't they for extensions in fee payments, or heck, ers) the power to reverse the decisions even complain about sexual harassment. The Horse's Mouth" of the Chief Returning Officer. (CROw). just go to someone's house? There's probably more interesting furniture/ Would you feel comfortable talking The CROw, in oversimplified terms, is about your sex life with a dog? responible for ensuring that DCSS ele<.­ appliances, as well. tions are fair and democratic. The still elected representatives re­ {Wondering about the 2"d and J'd will return neXt items on the agenda? Sorry, we ran out This power grab was explained as be­ main in power until the unoffidal re­ - sults of the election are accepted as offi­ of time.} • ing necessary because by-laws were bro­ ken. When a non-elected student who dal (72 hrs after fmal election results (In case anyone c::ares ...) are tallied) and the Fall semester rolls lSSUe April 8. 1994 Other Press 11 Chinese Opera Visits Douglas By Candice Lee instrument individually. OnWednesday, March 23, Yi This Chinese Opera experience She Beijing Opera Troupe, a Beijing is an asset to the college because of Chinese Opera Group came for an how it promotes a multicultural afternoon performance of tradi­ experience for the students. Chinese tional Chinese opera for Douglas opera, although difficult to under­ College students. stand because of its unique nature, The performance was done in not to mention the language bar­ Chinese and it was an unusual yet rier, is a good example of Chinese interesting experience. For those culture and its meanings. who have never seen a live Jin Jue Every story and play of the Chi­ (Chinese Opera) , it was an experi­ nese opera is a little parable which ence worth seeing. converys a truth or moral lesson The costumes that the actors about life. Though the meaning of wore seemed to serve their purpose this play is not directly understand­ but were not as elegant as those of able , the music must and acting the really big shows. They served conveys a meaning beyond words. their purpose. .,. - In the spirit of multiculturalism, All the music in the opera was this kind of cultural integration live and a little demonstration was should occur more often at Dou­ given prior to the main act for each glas College. Lovvest Hype Can•t Bring· Dovvn Posies By Chad Iverson

The opening band was mildly Their stage show has always inviting you to buy a "Lowest of amusing dressed in jacket and tie lacked props or banners, but the the Low" T -shirt. As you walked and covering some vaguely famil­ talent displayed through their in­ by you wondered if you really iar tunes. There was not too much struments does not leave you want­ needed (or wanted) any of the of­ else that I would consider memo­ ing more. Playing at the Commo­ ferings? If you were like most rable about them. dore has marked a beginning of people you tried to find a creative The second band started to set larger venues. The band still pre­ way to get rid of the tacky stickers up and the atmosphere became fers intimate clubs for their filling and just enjoy the music. charged. The Posies are from Se­ sound and the proximity to the Their performance was enter­ attle, yet they have managed to crowd. taining (amid attempts to plug their evade being labeled Grunge. Ac­ A band that I have never heard albums.) They are probably des­ tually it is difficult to put any sort of before, The Lowest of the Low, tined for some radio-play, more due of label on The Posies. seemed to have their act together to the Canadian Content Law than The band thinks of itself as and are ready for clubs like the actual public interest. I don't think more album orientated, rather than Commodore. I don't think that I am that the Lowest of the Low was producing one-shot radio singles. alone in this opinion. Because if truly disappointing, but all the pro­ The albums which The Posies have some promoters have their way the motion and hype might have left produced (Failure, Dear 23, and band won't remain unheard of for people wondering if they had Frosting on the Beater) demon­ long. missed something. strate their close attention to unity Greeting patrons at the door of sound throughout. Each album were people handing out "Lowest has evolved to sound a little differ­ of the Low" stickers advertising ent, but is always uniquely Posies. their new album ·and the C-FOX

Jazzing up New Westminster by Tony Sousa The Douglas College Music de­ partment presents an Evening o[Jazz on April 15 at the college's Performing Arts - Theatre . The concert will feature Dou­ glas College's Vocal Jazz Ensemble di­ rected by Patti Fletcher, the big band sounds of the Dues Band by Robin Shier and the rhythmic salsa and contempo­ rary stylings of the Night Band directed by Blair Fisher. The Vocal Jazz Ensemble will start things off with selections such as" Geor­ gia" and "In the Wee Small Hours of the Evening" which made a come back since being featured in Sleepless in Se­ attle. Following them, will be the Dues Band performing NatAddlerly's classic, "The Work Song" and Stan Kenton's piece" Here's that Rainy Day." The Night Band will then pick up the tempo with "Freedom Jazz Dance" by Eddie Harris and "On Purple Porpoise Parkway" by Tom Kubis. Evening of Jazz begins at Spm in the Performing Arts Theatre. The Dou­ glas College New Westminster campus is located at 7 00 Royal Avenue. General Admission is $5 and $3 for students and seniors and will be available at the - door. Doors open at 7:30pm. Proceeds from the concert will support jazz re­ cording projects at Douglas College. It's a golden opportunity. to hear jazz mu­ sic performed by well groomed jazz per­ ... formers. So come one, come all to An Evening of Jazz. 12 Other Press April 8. 1994

And the Medal goes to ••• All You Ever Wanted to Know About College Theatre, but Were Scared to Pay to See By Jason Kurylo Dasilva In the spirit of the Commonwealth Games, and the Dou­

glas College Athletic Awards before them, the Other Press is All right, then ... On to the stage, and a two-level set. .. v ....." ..J' proud to present ... Jeff Gilooley. (I'm just kidding ... ) Actu­ Nancy Kerrigan award ... And the I don't like this type of silver medal goes to: Malaspina's and the multi-level staging ally, wllat I've done is compared and contrasted three college City of Angels. me off at first. This night, hn'''"""Pr theatre productions. The "contestants" are: Studio 58's She This production featured both I was sold on the concept. It Loves Me, Douglas' Alice In Wonderland, and from first- and second-year students, as here. well as a guest­ Nanaimo's Malaspina College, City of Angels. star or two, in a is about a First, I'd like to address some concerns many people have with col­ musical comedy by the name lege productions: set in the Stine. (Play It's just students, so it's probably pretty amateurish, right? 1940's. This by Dan The fact is, you're rolling the dice any time you enter any theatre. was also an am­ J a m e Whether it's the Vancouver Playhouse or the Douglas College Theatre, bitious produc­ Hutzler.) He there are no guarantees. And while you're not likely to see the next tion. It had a in the midst Malkovich at Malaspina, there are thousands more bad pros than bad full two-week writing a students ... run, from and lives Yeah, but the college plays look cheap, don't they? March 17-31. ously thro Actually, most theatre programs have much bigger budgets than a Not only was his lead lot of professional theatre companies. Technically (that's with regards to there a cast of ter, Stone sets, costumes, lighting, etc.), many college shows are excellent. 20, playing 34 Deasey). 0/wy, but why shouldn't I just go see a movie instead? roles, but Angels featured 19 scene movie-within-a-play isn' t Here's a situation that live theatre everywhere is hating right now ... changes and a live 15-piece orches­ original, but it worked. And it Movies are great. I'll admit it, I love 'em. But nothing, and I mean tra. tured the best damned nY,IOPin-ff•ntJ nothing, compares with a good night at a live show. Besides, what are Yeah. Ambitious. I already bound-guy I'd ever seen. you gonna go see- D2: The Mighty Ducks? looked, there's nothing else in the Written by Larry Gelbart, Here goes. thesaurus that really covers it. Coleman, and David Zippel, Worth the trip across the wa­ of Angels won the 1992 Best ter, Angels involved a revolving sical Tony Award. Luckily, Dabronze Malaspina cast was up to the My first fear going in was with tech crew behind those scenes! The bronze goes to our very enough, was entitled "Wh\te gards to vocal prowess. Given The students who performed own Douglas College, for a very Knight," and was one of the most group of actors, especially in in this production, however, proved ambitious Alice In Wonderland. successful moments in the show. twenties, what percentage can to be a few levels below their tech­ Directed by Michael Fera, and Tweedledum and Tweedledee tually sing worth a hill of nical peers. The audience never running from March 18- 27, Alice were brought to life by Micah And Lord knows you've gotta quite gets to the point where they're was a huge challenge for most ev­ Leigh Reid and Aaron Johnston, better than that to put on a lost in Wonderland with Alice. In eryone involved. This was the only respectively. It was refreshing to see musical. That fear was all a perfect world, that's where they'd college show in this competition to a different take on these two. In­ early. be. There were quite a few indi­ solely feature first-year students. stead of the typical depiction of two The Malaspina Theatre viduals that shone, but this type of Everyone's familiar with the dullards, this production saw the partment knows when to draw sh9w needs strong, even ensemble story oflittle Alice (played here by Tweedle Twins as a mean-spirited, line between theatre class work. Tracy Swaile), who falls through borderline sexually abusive pair. show-time. When they don't George Caetano was a big the Looking Glass into Wonder­ The choice of script was inter­ the legs to fill a particular part, crowd favourite, giving a hugely land. There, she encounters talk­ esting. Of course, it was adapted go outside the program. No one energetic performance as the White ing animals, fantastic creatures, from Lewis Carroll's famous writ­ their class lists quite fit the bill Rabbit. He also opened and closed - and has an adventure that can only ings, but this particular take on the Buddy, the balding son of a the play as Alice's "real-life" advi­ be described as ... wondrous. Looking Glass tale was different. that runs the movie studio. So, sor, Reverand Dodgson. The sets and costumes were Eva Legallienne and Florida brought in David Marr, Another high point was Wonder-land-fully over-the-top. Friebus changed the outlook from Vancouver actor recently seen · Michael Gill's performance as the The play was a visual feast, strewn one of wonder and trust to that of The Relapse. (Don't hold th White Knight. His with radically decorated creatures an angry young child encountering against him. Here he was great.) s o n g , of all shapes and sizes. From talk­ monster after monster. And while Not to say that the stureogJ~~ phy of the scene relies heavily on o\~lce e VIO perfectly timed escape. And col\6~ \ oou~la' he could probably by now do it - 0 1\e•i his sleep, the effect was quite v\la\•cau (L-R) Darcy Poley, Allison Melech, Daryl Ducharme, Tracy Swaile, pressive. and Laurie Hurtubise in Douglas College's Alice in Wonderland 8. 1994 Other Press 13

DaGOLDT

{L-R :) Nyee Marcoux-Pena, Tom Deasey, and Moya Okee dokee, we' re on to the O'Connell in Malaspina middle podium, for the gold medal. production of City of Angels Who's left? Surprise, surprise, it's Langara's Studio 58 with She Loves Me. It isn't unexpected to see Stu­ dio 58 at the top of this heap. One of Canada' s premiere acting In all, director Tony Bancroft schools, it has a small, high-qual­ in quite a big catch in this ity enrollment. Thus, the pieces . It could have been a disas­ they pick to work with need not If he didn't get just the right encompass a cast of thousands, nor just the right mood, off the top, fulfill the needs of a huge number show could have been as flat of students. well, me singing 'Eidel Weiss.' This production was still run­ The only real problem I had ning at press time, with its sched­ the show was with the remote uled dates spanning March 24 to rucJroplllor:tes. With a live 15-piece April 10. sound levels have to be per­ Also a'Broadway musical, She Unfortunately, the band often Loves Me is full of charming, lik­ lrmvnerlout the words of the songs. able characters. The plot is simple, ngely, I've always felt the but effective. Georg Nowack of the songs were pretty im­ (played by David Macniven) and in a musical comedy. I Amalia Balash (Tracey Erin Smith) it's not like it's an Italian are clerks at a parfumerie in 1934 right? I wanna know what Budapest. They trade jabs at work, hell they're singin'. but secretly carry on an intimate Anyways, the remote mike lev­ correspondence via a lonely hearts needed to be turned up, or the classified ad. The story is almost turned down, or a little of sickly sweet, but the play is filled with beautiful Broadway songs and brilliant choreography-driven This is the second show I've David Hudgins (left) and dance numbers. at Malaspina. This production Dean Paul Gibson. in Highlights for me were outreached the level of Our Studio 58's She Loves Me Smith's Ms. Balash, and Marvin which played earlier in the Kaye's Waiter. Smith was a delight throughout the performance, with Improvement bein' a good an energy that she effortlessly I'm all for seein' their next passed on to the audience. Kaye's comic tum as a waiter addicted to the romantic atmo­ sphere in his restaurant was abso­ lutely hilarious. (Just for the record, ... and What of the Pros? be is not a dead red-haired friend of Bing Crosby, nor is he a dead Look at Vancouver's Professional Ranks black soul singer. It says so in his bio.) Jason Kurylo Director Robert McQueen has cited She Loves Me as a long­ To put these college productions in perspective, I also made a people, as proved by its' long run. But for me, it just wasn't there.. . time dream of his to bring to the of attending some recent offerings of the Vancouver professional And lastly, the biggest dog of them all...l was thoroughly cheesed stage. His enthusiasm definitely community. at paying twenty bucks for The Vancouver Playhouse's production of caught on, because everyone in­ World's Greatest Guy, currently playing at the Arts Club Revue The Relapse (or Virtue In Danger). The only things Lapse had go­ volved displayed huge energy for on Granville Island, was the best of these productions. Bril· ing for it were beautiful costumes, a gorgeous venue, and Norman this show. All 'round, She Loves written by Gary Jones and Sbawn Mcdonald for the 1993 Browning. The choice of play here is partially at fault. By design, Me delivered. Fringe Festival, Guy is a scream. Both Jones and Mcdonald Lapse is devoid of character, let alone development ofsame. Mr. Brown­ Nit-picking (hey, I'm a with Ellie Harvey and Randy Schooley rounding out the cast. ing had the lucky task of playing the only entertaining role in the critic ... ), perhaps the lead charac­ those names wiJl sound familiar to TheatreSports fans ...) The production, in Lord Foppington. Everyone else in the play is, for lack ters could have been a little more ... ranges from perfect social satire to downright silliness, but of better terms, vacuous. Empty. Boring. If Lapse were written today, quirky? (that's as close to being the result what counts: it's funny. It's playing until May 7th, and is a it likely wouldn't make it through a Fringe. right word as any .. .) At times, they pricey, but it's worth it. (Wednesdays at 5 pm is a 2-for-1 show.) It seems to me that there is only one reason this play was chosen: seemed way too normal, and nice, The Importance of Being Earnest, as reviewed in the March 12 it gave the Playhouse a chance to do a period piece. Ooh, big cos­ to be searching the classifieds for Press, also starred Mcdonald. If you read the aforementioned tumes! Ooh. big sets! Ooh, big bosoms and cleavage! Unfortunately, that perfect friend. Of course, many you'll be happy to know that I have since unpuckered, and the VP seems to think every production needs a huge technical bud­ of us in the real world seem that off my nose, thank you very much. There's still no news with get, and that's it. What they got here was 19th Century Hee Haw. way, but somebody's gotta be writ­ to this production being remounted, but if it should, you'll be Even with a bad script, good actors can shine. (Browning could ing them ... sixth to know. .. probably move you to tears with this review. given the chance.) In the One of the biggest strengths of Both of the above shows were head and shoulders above the col­ case of Lapse, most everyone on stage spent more time making sure the Studio 58 production is that it efforts. Remember, though, that they're the cream of the crop. their voices were heard in the balcony than making sure they were in didn't try to be more than it could shows don't get glowing reviews ... character. Ob well, they looked really good, why should they bother be. Unlike the Douglas and the The Number 14 is just closing up a hugely successful run at the adinggood? Malaspina productions, She Loves ucr.u:uu"' Island Waterfront Theatre. Not being a big fan of BC Tran~ Here's an idea: scrap the big-:-money sets, and get a few more quality Me never, metaphorically or liter­ I looked forward to this Axis Mimellbuchstone Co-production. JUr/OI'IIID'B.ldeally, the Playhouse should be near the top of the pack. ally, tried to hit a note out of its' was a bit-ancJ..miss of s.ketches which A$ it is. maybe a·few VPers should head back to school. .• rather impressive range. wOJ.ts for . ~ Congratulations to Studio 58, and to Douglas and Malaspina, on a job well done. 14 Other Press April 8. 1994

Time flies when you•re in a Coma. Do YOU know what time it is? -as yet untitled­ Emerging, Out of the cold. Warmth surging, Strong and bold. lf~ lOWf ~~~ Something urging, I \'I@J~T TO J~0\'110~ T~f lr@JCf ~ ~~b waiting to be told. [gfro~r: rn r~~r:~T J wr:~r: [gO~~. Like a soul purging, ~ \'I@J~l TO fl@JllO~ @J JO~~ TO T~f Gone is the old [gf~Tor Ice. Now melted. o~r: ~~~b tl~rr~~~ \'l~f~ \'If \'I@Jl~fb ~~ T~f \'IOObJ ~ T~[:f lrlr:.ll T~@JT ~0 O~f. ~lr:.@J~b.

ll'nll ~[Wir:.!R\ ro~~ICT T~f JO~~b. [gl @J~~~J ~b~~~

Projected Image (with fragment of found poetry) Nowhere 15-inch Ripping Chisel Drop-forged steel, tempered and hardened. Sometimes you feel alone in this world Until you meet someone that makes you smile Manly... like me. They may not know their meaning in life So let them know that they are born to die There are no roads leading to heaven and hell Every morning I floss my teeth with mandolin strings, So amuse yourself with these mythical places Shave with a rusty bread knife, But understand this; Feed the dog Bic pens and she bites me a tattoo. There is no true destination It feels good. During or after life You are Going nowhere I drive nails with my penis and pull them out with my teeth. Dave Damiano But inside ... I'm a sensitive nurturer... yeah.

by Dean MacPherson.

TIO£fl of the tl!)ooth just a moment, please

Celestial Ears Upon consideration (upon hearing Holst's "The Planets") of circumstances in my life I have come to the conclusion that certain mechanical devices tend to constrai When I grow up one's creativity I want to have bonfire hair and celestial ears That abstract has no comfortable home in the realm of the orderly and a little cat named Fireweed One connot put a circle within a box without losing a Jupiterian husband who will wrap up the nuance of gentle curves the Juperterian husband who will wrap up Having made this relization it occurred to me the universe and give it to me for my birthday that baths need not always be taken at 7 p.m. sharp children with comet eyelashes tea should not always be drunk with milk who sit on the pale fairy dust ground in their children's laughter constellation chairs is always to be encouraged and watch the sun melt and the only real constant in life - Christy Goerzen is change CarolAddy April 8. 1994 Other Press 15 Other Classifieds Cars for sale and posers need not apply! Necessary. Vehicle an asset but Close to Douglas and Skytrain. not a necessity. Crew cheif $8 FOR SALE 1975 Toyota Corolla . Please phone Craig or Matt at per hour. Painter $7 per hour. 2 Door I Automatic I Air cared 521-1951 if interested. Call Helmer at 228-0317 on Jan '94. Good mechanical condition I some rust. $1000 Brand new ski rack (lockable) - Public obo. Call 465-8754 evenings; or for rain guttered cars -$90.00 announcements leave message at 527-5154 Call Chris at 594-8379 Volunteers needed for the '57 Chevy Excellent interior, no NEED PAPER? 200 sheets Vancouver Rape Relief & body rust. running condition. packs of lined paper for sale. Women's Shelter. For more Please leave a message for Ben (Book store sells for $2 each) information and/or training at the OP office at 525-3505. My price is 3 for $2. Call Jason interview call 872-8212. $4000. o.b.o. at 520-1795 The Burnaby Volunteer Center '81 Granada. 4-door. 6-cylinder. WANTED : we pay cash for T~NKHOG has the following positions running condition. Living near tools, furniture, antiques, available :companion, assistant. E REAL McKENZIE$ Skytrain and don't feel upkeep stereos, and miscellaneous peer support, coordinator, expenses are justified. $500 items. call Jeff at 942-4057 or leaders, hosts. For info call 294- H.O.C. (HousE OF c-) • MOTHER TRUCKER o.b.o. Call Dug at 524-5918. Derek at 526-4818. 5533 ' SATURDAY APRIL 9 • DooRs 8:30PM USED CAR for sale! 1983 Summer .lobs No Experience Toyota Tercel, red, 2-door automatic, radio, cassette player. Good condition, $1650. Please contact Mitsuko at 437- 3599 or leave a message. For sale, et cetera ur Way Test The Homework Center needs a ,, Flnt: Is lithe truthl Math I Sciences tutor . ~ Secoftci:.,.Jsflt f1lr to 111 concernecll immediately for their Maple Ridge I Pitt Meadows centers. Third: 'Jill II ~lei Gooct Will 1nd better Frlendshlpl please call 467-5519 or 941- Fourth: Will It ~ beneflcl1l to 111 concernecll 8203 The •Four Way .. Test is the C:!je of Ethics by which all TYPING TERM PAPERS Rotarians wor~-;vl de " meaSUfe ~ ir conduct whether in Resumes, Copy-editing, Laser their professional or pers'OilCJl lives. The Royal City Rotary Printing. Fast turn around . Reas . Club seeks to attain this standard in their endeavors and in prices. Copies, Fax Mail box rentals. MAIL & TYPE, 9632 their interaction with the Community. We trust that, at a Cameron (Lougheed Mall) 420- Vocational Level of Service, our Club provides beneficial 6245. assistance to Students at every level of their training ( The TUTOR : Mathematics Rotary Club is a Service Club w ith more than a million (Calculus). Physics, and members world-wide. For more infor-mation you are Computer Programming. High welcome as our guest to an y Rotary meeting .) School, college and university levels. Few years of tutoring experience. About $18 an hour. SixsTar Attractions Presents Call 431-9736 or 650-7024. THE FIIIU.A.L FREIIU:ZV' (messages) A POST-EXAM STRESS RELEASE DANCE PARTY IS IT YOUR ESSAY, or is it art? FRIDAY APRIL 15 DOORS 8:30PM Only your prof knows for sure. Call that Printing Place for a snazzy rendering of your favorite essay. We type, we Language Partners 1994 typeset, we print, we deliver. Chih Li You can also call us to fulfill Tina dark Karyn Wilde your brochure and poster Robert Luke Kim Barr James Harder needs. Sorry we don't do Mia McDonald windows. Call 432-1461. Tina Clark Darin Hayduk Deborah Barnett ALONE AND TOGETHER TOUR KARATE CLASSES at Douglas Sandy Salavaras STARRING Tracy Hsu College. Tues. and Thurs., 6:45- Candice Lee Gordon Roberts 7:45. Men and women in and Richard Ng jOHN Q~MMONJ) out of shape. Phone 584-0627 Mona Kadziolka Teresa Cordova to register. Selina Ip Patrick Longworth THifbUKE - WANTED Dog loving Lisa Baer Michelle Lam Madeleine Bertrand roommates with low ROBILLARD BAND maintenance lifestyle to share Glenda Craig SATURDAY APRIL 23 DOORS 8:30PM Laureen Spence four bedroom home with like Mark Slavic Bridgette Webster 10 ·CFMI presents BMG rccordrng artrsts minded individuals. Red necked Thomas Ching Cecilia Wong Hoi Lam Atiq Hassanzadeh Darin Hayduk Cowboy junkies FrankTuong Jackie Kadziolka Jennifer Child ~ ~ WITH SPECIAL GUESTS Harsher Mann Marian Petrie Make up to $2,000-$4,000+ per PaulTsui Jennifer Steel fREEDY jOHNSTO\i . month teaching basic Harsher Mann conversational English abroad. Jeffrey Lee Vincent Chen Johnny Lam SUNDAY APRIL 24 DooRs: 8:00PM Japan, Taiwan, and S. Korea. Kandy Hogarth MATADOR RECORDING ARTISTS Many employers provide room & Paul Tsui Mr. Freeman board + other benefits. No Tracy Hsu Damian Harper teaching background or Asian Lila Louie languages required. For more Selina Ip Mrs. Freeman PAVEMENT------information call: Martica Jelek ON SALE \VITH SPECL\l. (iLJESTS Margarita Tang Martica Jilek SATURDAY Jarrod Cook ------~ Jade Wee Dov Smilestein Scott Dalgleish Students Needed! Kay Gotoh Mrs. Freeman Earn up to $2,000+ per month Ron Broyles Cecilia Wong Elaine Leong - working for Cruise Ships or Land­ Allan Louie Tour Companies. World Travel Daniel Jans Stephen Murakami (Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean, Blair Garner Shauna Heselton Derek Neale etc.). Summer and Full-Time Mike Drobot employment available. No exper. Damian Harper Gordon Roberts Hoi Lam necessary. For more ~IJl 5K Divna Matic Sylvia Wiest information eall: ~ Janet Erikson Mark Slavic Hiroshi Yasuoka Cruise E~loym.nf S.rvlc.s Lesley Moore (206)634-0468 ext.C4047 Other Press April 8, 1994

99.3 Foxes jump over the lazy dog.

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Larry & Willy . $10,000 has been offered. Show up in· the morning. These fugitives have been charged with being just too damned stupid and annoying at just the wrong time of day. They continue with their actions regardless of the order from Queen Latifa her Royal Hi-ness to cease and desist with such silliness. This document issues a warrant for their arrest and a bounty for their capture. It is also a blatant attempt to win a contest. YES, we are whores for cash. You'd do it too if you had the chance.