May 10, 2020 Free with your copy of Sunday

Years Of

2004-2020

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY POSTPARTUM BLUES TO BLAST! By Sameera Reddy Page 10 + Relationships LOVE, LUST & LONGING IN LOCKDOWN Page 18

“It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to not be okay and not seek help!” MUM IS NOT A GOOD WORD! BIRLA URGES YOU TO BREAK THE SILENCE SURROUNDING MENTAL HEALTH WITH PERSONAL STORIES INVOLVING HER BIGGEST CRUSADERS: HER CHILDREN!

#MumsNotTheWord

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS 3 To read Brunch stories online, log on to hindustantimes.com/brunch. Follow @HTBrunch on Twitter and Instagram

Stuff You Said my favourite MUSEUM Years Of Last Sunday With International Museum Day on May 18 (and travel beginning to 2004-2020 seem possible again), five travel enthusiasts pick their favourites By Lubna Salim Underground is housed in an old castle with a stunning view of adventure the coastline of South France. It also highlights the Museum of Old and New Art (MONA) in quirks of Picasso as a person and makes for a truly Hobart, Tasmania fun, yet enriching, experience.” “This one flips everything —Savi Munjal, travel blogger, you know about museums Bruised Passports on the head. It is entirely underground. There are DIVIDE AND DROOL no signs, directions or tour The Partition Museum, Amritsar guides. Just the O, this “For someone who shuns museums, mysterious little gadget going back to the MONA is a gamechanger with GPS and headphones, same one two for anyone who finds which figures out where days in a row was museums boring you are wandering and unusual, to say what you’re looking at. You can listen to the artist talk the least. The about his or her own work, or listen to curators or Partition Museum critics. The museum’s founder, David Walsh, made his in Amritsar is not millions in online gambling, and his obsession with very large, but the leyla_peripatetic Pas encore sex and death is evident throughout MONA. It’s a stories it tells are The tales of separation from both gamechanger for anyone who finds museums boring.” large-hearted in sides of the border are supported by rinichatterje That turtleneck is ­—Divia Thani, Editor-in-chief, Conde Nast Traveller narrative and memorabilia at The Partition Museum mrsmooface The hair, the context. The tales of separation from both sides of hair xx One for petrolheads the border are supported by memorabilia and hand- Mercedes Benz Museum, Stuttgart written letters, and an ample dose of emotions. “If you’re a petrolhead, this one’s a Stories of Indians and Pakistanis are narrated with Huh! Arrangements for today’s brunch done. no-brainer. But what makes it special an even, equal voice, and there is a celebration of Oh wait, but its too hot. @TheAaryanKartik for me is that it those who proved themselves successful in their @HTbrunch #hindustantimes @yasinqureshi was probably my country in the decades to come. This museum will rite to passage to tug at your heart long after you’ve left!” Good, sorted reportage is such an antidote truly understand —Jamal Shaikh, National Editor, Brunch and to stay at home blues! #RudeFood and appreciate New Media Initiatives, Hindustan Times @maitra_gaurangi the value of ‘the best or nothing’. Stayin alive manasiitadkar I was 13-14 years Abba Museum, Stockholm old and on my The cars displayed at the Mercedes Benz “Since my penchant is for the Museum can get you hooked to wheels first trip to outdoors and Europe. I think it got me hooked to wheels, I was adventure sports, fascinated by the history and the models displayed I generally there, I felt like a kid in a candy store, only tend to scratch you couldn’t buy the candies this time!” a museum off —Aindrila Mitra, Editor-in-chief, my itinerary. Travel + Leisure and South Asia But a visit to Abba Museum, For the love dedicated to the The ABBA Museum gives you one of the of Picasso iconic Swedish most un-museum-like experiences The Picasso Museum, Antibes pop band from the ’70s was perhaps the most un- “It houses a range of works museum-like experience! With the interactive spanning Picasso’s career. But it stations I could be a part of the virtual band on should also be on the bucket list stage, listen to its history, sing and dance along of people who are not museum to my favourite tracks in the ‘party room’ with buffs. That’s because the collection disco lights, and record my own performance.” Note: Some tweets have been edited to correct spelling and grammar spelling to correct been edited have Some tweets Note: —Rahul Jagtiani, travel blogger Picasso Museum also gives a glimpse Find Hindustan Times Brunch on Facebook, into the artist’s quirky self and TV host follow @htbrunch on Instagram or tweet to @HTBrunch or...

EDITORIAL: Ananya Ghosh, DESIGN: Ashutosh Sapru Drop us a line at: FOR ADVERTISING and marketing enquiries, Jamal Shaikh (National Editor (National Editor, Design), [email protected] PLEASE CONTACT: Neerja Birla picture courtesy: Aditya Birla Education Trust – Brunch and New Media Amit Malik, Kishore Rawat, or to 18-20 Kasturba Gandhi Marg, Ad Sales (North): Amit Gandotra [email protected] Sameera Reddy picture: Amrita Samant Initiatives), Lubna Salim, Shailesh Sharma, New Delhi 110001 Ad Sales (West): Harold Paul [email protected] Veenu Singh Sunil Kumar Mallik Ad Sales (South): Sharbani Ghosh [email protected] (Art Director – Brunch)

may 10, 2020 4 HuMouR

pulp REALITY Something about the goodness of fruit sustains us in hard times h garg imaging: part Photo Fruit for thought Nature’s sweetest gift is lifting spirits, as countless lockdown posts suggest By Rehana Munir

he unthinkable has happened. one I’m typing these words on. appeal. Shamelessly frontlining a with potted plants and quirky The mango season is in full For those familiar with the pina colada. Parading its boldness tableware in filtered frames. I swing, without any ceremony lanes of Bandra in , they in an upside-down cake. Even try and repress my puritanical Tor sentimental tributes. This will know well a fruit that is squashing itself into a halwa! I streak and the urge to express needs to be corrected instantly, so plentiful at this time of year. The know that it’s pointless to scream my wicked astonishment. here goes. The world might have white jamun with its juicy-crunchy one’s support or rejection of a But as someone who cuts a hit its darkest patch, but there is kick. This, of all fruits, I proclaim, universally acknowledged fruit, watermelon like a Cubist gone still an orange lining on select sub- is best had stolen, slightly bruised but I feel it’s providing me with wild, I’m in no position to mock. continental street carts. I have just from its fall, and in less fastidious some much-needed catharsis at I retaliate by making my own allowed myself a slice of heaven, times, dusty too. Sweet is the fruit a difficult time. In the interest of posts, gathering fruit in sunlit temporarily transporting me out of streetside thievery. brevity, I will edit out my rant trays with captions about of these insipid times and into the against those tiny bananas and Rembrandt and still life. sweet realm of fruity nostalgia. Fruity dangers too-tart plums. And my intense Something about the On a long-ago trip to Malaysia, aversion to peaches is not open goodness of fruit sustains us Streetside I was exposed to a peculiar and to discussion. in hard times. Whether you thievery powerful fruit. The durian, with encounter an apricot in a Where there is a mango, there its spiky exterior and noxious Banana split Moroccan stew or a raisin in are memories of grandmothers, smell, could well be a flavour personality an oatmeal cookie, it brings childhood games and the freedom invented by Bertie Bott of Every The best way to eat fruit, I a comfort and delight that is of summer evenings. But a mango, Flavour Bean fame. Even lovers believe, is when it’s enhancing the very mandate of lockdown like any self-obsessed food. Coconut in a curry or superstar, eclipses the less WHERE THERE IS A MANGO, kokum in a cooler – the tropics shouty charms of the rest THERE ARE MEMORIES OF provide such freshness and of the fruit ensemble. variety to recipes. I, for one, My mind goes back to GRANDMOTHERS, CHILDHOOD am grateful for that morning a drive from Pahalgam GAMES AND THE FREEDOM OF glass of orange juice, between to Srinagar in a minibus the doing of the dishes and the filled with cousins. As the SUMMER EVENINGS taking out of the garbage. For a sun plummeted taking our spirits of jackfruit and adorers of melon some kind of . It all few golden moments, the broken along with it, we made a quick stop would be hard-pressed to squeeze started with those cherries world becomes whole again. And at an apple orchard. Now the last out a defence for this offender. in a black forest cake, my then, once the first round of person I’d heard of biting into an I believe there are laws that generation’s introduction to this chores is done and first wave of apple that’s plucked straight off a prohibit its transport in various glorious possibility. And that old work mails dealt with, it’s back tree was one Eve, and things didn’t nations. I salute such efforts favourite, banana split. With the to being a fruitcake. Only wicked go very well for her. Our party against bio-weaponry. lockdown raging on, I see people thoughts about people’s excellent was luckier; the farm owner even Pineapple, I believe, is who can’t tell the difference cooking skills can save the day. sliced the fruit using a simple yet another such fruit whose ability between moong and toor dal magnificent contraption. An apple to alienate we take too lightly. I’ve whipping up sorbets [email protected] I hold dearer to my heart than the never understood its widespread and strawberry , Follow @rehana_munir on Twitter and Instagram

may 10, 2020 “I don’t share screen space with Chris Hemsworth. I Guest column 5 kept telling the team since my character’s the one stopping him, I should be pointing the gun at him!” ON THE SET one scene. He should have to deal From day one, everything had with the real villain, not just the been planned and explained to villain’s army! everyone. They make you very But I did meet Chris in the hair comfortable and ask what would van where I was getting my hair help you perform better. Sam is fixed for my scene and he needed his a cool and calm director, and in bread trimmed. He walked in, took our first chat about my character, his seat, and began chatting with me he clearly explained how I should immediately, about the city, about approach the role of Amir Asif. India and about the music he was Unfortunately, there was a slight listening to. In between, he sang out issue: I don’t speak Bangal [the loud in his heavy voice. He sings well. Bengali spoken in ], Then I had to head back, so I and all my dialogues were in the said, “Nice meeting you, see you on local Dhaka dialect. But Sam was the set,” and he said, “Yeah, sure.” confident that I would take care of We fist bumped and then realised the language easily, and that gave we didn’t have any scenes together me a big boost of confidence. so we just wished each other luck So the prep was great: clear for our respective shoots. When I was told I had been cast in a Russo Brothers’ film, I had to cross-check several times that it was for real!

approach and lots of language I had thought I would be training. But the real gangster starstruck by him given the fact attitude for my character came from that I am a huge Avengers fan. the costumes of heavy gold jewellery But he was so humble and relaxed and shiny, pointed shoes, which I that I didn’t even feel that I was would never wear in real life! meeting a global superstar.

GO FLY A KITE AIMING HIGH My first day of shooting was in I learned so much from the cast and INDIA’S LATEST Ahmedabad. We were on the rooftop of a small three-floor building surrounded by buildings of similar height. On other EXPORT TO rooftops, kids were flying kites and aunties were sitting together and chatting. I was focused on my dialogues and as I was rehearsing, HOLLYWOOD a kite went past me. I tried to draw Actor Priyanshu Painyuli from their attention and indicate that they should stop flying their kites till my Bengaluru, who bagged a role in shot was done. But I was completely Chris Hemsworth-starrer Extraction, writes ignored. In fact all day the rooftops a piece on how to be a Hollywood villain were filled with kids playing and aunties chatting, and I thought they Gangster vibe By Priyanshu Painyuli were mad, hanging around on their Priyanshu on the sets of Extraction terraces in the crazy heat. where her plays Amir Asif, a gangster rowing up in Bengaluru, I War. Obviously I had no idea how Only at the end of the day was I dreamed of going to Mumbai to react because I am a big fan of told that all those people were junior crew of this film. I learned about someday and becoming an Marvel films and when I watched artists, placed there to convey a feel myself as an actor too. I could tell Gactor recognised for his Thor fight with Thanos, it wasn’t of a crowded city like Dhaka. They you it was amazing, wonderful. craft. This was than a dream, as though I was thinking, “Hey! were just doing their jobs. You only But actually, it was an experience however. It was a path I was clear My next film I’m going to be the realise what a large scale production I just can’t explain. It was my first about, and my hard work got me bad guy opposite Thor!” entails when you experience one. Hollywood film. Not many actors roles in some really good films. When I was finally convinced get such an opportunity. But I am quite new to the that Joe Russo and Sam Hargrave CHRIS WHERE? But I am aiming for the camera. And when, this early in had actually liked my audition, Sadly, I don’t share screen space opportunity again. I am about to my career, I was told I had been I was on top of the world. But with Chris Hemsworth in the film, audition for Irishman 2 for Netflix. cast in a Russo Brothers’ film, I had the very next second I realised though I never stopped telling [email protected] to cross-check several times that it something: this was a 100 per cent the team – in good humour – that Follow @htbrunch on Twitter was for real. professional Hollywood film. I since my character was the one Priyanshu Painyuli plays the role of a Bangladeshi The Russo Brothers are the would have to up my game as an stopping him, I should be pointing crime lord in the Russo Brother’s film Extraction makers of The Avengers: Infinity actor and give it 110 per cent. my big gold gun at him in at least featuring Chris Hemsworth

may 10, 2020 6 Cover story

[ MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL ] MUM’S NOT THE WORD MENTAL HEALTH CRUSADER NEERJA BIRLA SHOWS HOW EMPOWERING YOUR CHILDREN TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS CAN BE ENRICHING AS WELL AS HEART-WRENCHING By Jamal Shaikh

eerja Birla delivered that I wasn’t the first mother to who needs to talk, placing the health and you don’t know how to cope. her first child in 1994 have experienced it, nor would I be of the mind on par with physical Generally, the advice is, ‘Shove and experienced her the last. Postpartum depression is health, and wiping off the stigma your feelings under the carpet. Push N first bout of postpartum a physiological, hormonal thing; that comes attached to it. them away. You feel if you don’t depression. She was happy to be it’s a neurotransmitter imbalance, But it wasn’t her own experience pay attention to them, they’ll just a mother, yet, she felt strangely which causes anxiety. I was able to with depression that got her to start go away.” depressed and weighed down. overcome it because I was strong, Mpower. “I became a mother years That, Neerja warns, is the “Why am I feeling this way?” she but I realised I would have been able ago. It was more recently in the biggest mistake. wondered, and it took her a great to deal with it more easily had I got schools I work with that I noticed the “We may not want to go to the amount of resilience, self-belief and better help.” need for mental health awareness,” dentist because we are scared of a spiritual connect to snap out of it. she says. “Historically, traditionally going to a dentist,” she says, offering Neerja is the wife of MIND/MATTER and culturally, one has never given an analogy. “But the truth is, if we industrialist Today, Neerja Birla runs Mpower, importance to mental health. It is do not go, our toothache will not go and belongs to one of India’s most an organisation that champions always taken for granted. Anything away either!” prominent business families. She is the cause of mental health across to do with ‘personal feelings’ doesn’t The biggest problem is that a mother to three grown up children: geographies and classes, providing matter. If you are not strong, it mental health issue is considered a Ananya, 25, Aryaman, 22 and a listen and giving advice to anyone exposes you to vulnerabilities, stigma. “It is a taboo topic of sorts. Advaitesha, 16, two of whom are now Even if people are aware of it, the young adults making choices of life “I was able to overcome feeling is ‘What are people going to and career with strong, independent say?’ I want mental health to be an thinking, just as their mother taught postpartum depression issue that’s comfortable to discuss them to. But that’s a story for the because I was strong, but I over the family dinner table,” says latter half of this piece. realised I would have been Neerja. “We must ease it into being “My postpartum depression a normal problem, encouraging hit me hard,” Neerja reminisces. able to deal with it more easily discussions that’ll eventually get rid “It made me read up and realise had I got better help.” of the stigma. ‘Therapist’ no longer

may 10, 2020 Years Of

2004-2020

“I want mental health to be an issue that’s comfortable to discuss over the family dinner table”

JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION USING #MumIsNotTheWord 8 Cover story

needs to be a bad word. What do many standards. Was people do when they have diabetes? Neerja worried? They treat it, right? Not hide it!” “When Ananya told “Kumar and I were visiting Some people believe that mental us she wants to be Ananya in Oxford when she told health is a rich man’s problem. That a pop singer, both us she wanted to give up studies [Kumar and I] took the poor deal with poor and it quite well” and become a pop singer,” Neerja food, while the privileged contend says. “She told us that day that ‘I with matters of the mind. Neerja says enjoy this and this is what I want to an emphatic no to this idea. “Just do,’ and we both took it quite well. because you have money, doesn’t Maybe we already knew what her mean you have happiness. Mental true calling was. We told her to give health does not discriminate. Your it her best. economic situation, your gender, age, “The toughest part of parenting none of those things matter. In fact, for me is the dichotomy it presents,” our Foundation sees people from adds Neerja. “You spend time economically challenged backgrounds making your kids independent, then come in higher numbers than those at cut the umbilical cord and watch the Centre.” them make mistakes.” Between Neerja and Kumar MOTHER /CARETAKER Mangalam, who’s the braver When Neerja talks about her parent / caretaker? Pat comes the relationship with her children, reply, “Me!” she uses an unusual word for Is Kumar Mangalam not as herself: Caretaker. brave? “He’s more traditional,” Neerja says. “During the kids’ growing up years, he was busy “we need to with work, so by default, the teach our responsibility of bringing up the kids to be kids landed in my lap.” Then, she adds, “We all know independent. people from our generation who They have to could not pursue their dreams and regret that to date. I didn’t want my learn to make children to ever feel that way.” their own decisions and SON/SCION Neerja Birla’s strength shines then face the through just as bright through her consequences. second-born, Aryaman Vikram. “Aryaman told “As parents, we need to be me, ‘Mum, putting caretakers and nurture our children. my career-related We need to mould them, guide them, stress out there will inspire people to do give them age-appropriate advice, the right thing.’” and help them take age-appropriate decisions that they are able to stand up for themselves,” she says, presenting a new perspective to the traditional bond often ridden with emotions and expectations. “Most of all, we need to teach our kids to be independent. They have to learn to make their own decisions and then face the consequences.” Remind yourself of the traditional Marwari business family that Neerja Birla represents, and you know this is a truly exceptional approach to parenting. And two of her three kids, old enough to pave their own way, have Neerja is the wife of industrialist already put Neerja’s belief to the test. Kumar Mangalam Birla and After founding a fairly successful belongs to one of India’s most microfinancing company in her teens, prominent business families Ananya Birla decided to quit studying at Oxford University and pursue her dreams of becoming a pop singer. An unusual, unpredictable profession by Think About This When someone tells “THE TOUGHEST 1 you that mental health PART OF BEING A is not as important as PARENT IS FIRST physical well-being, you… Say that mental health is MAKING YOUR KIDS perhaps even more important INDEPENDENT, because it has a direct impact on each and every facet of our lives, THEN WATCHING including our physical health. THEM MAKE MISTAKES…” The biggest challenge 2 mental health faces in India today is… A budding cricketer who Three-pronged: The played for the Rajasthan Royals in distressing lack of awareness, the IPL and also Madhya Pradesh age-old stigmas and the Cricket Team, decided to “take woefully inadequate an undefined sabbatical” from infrastructure. the game because it was causing him severe anxiety. He posted When Deepika his decision on Instagram last 3 Padukone talked about December, saying, “I feel the need mental health and made it to put my mental health and well- mainstream, you felt… being above all else. We all have our That more and more public own journeys, and I want to take figures should talk openly this time to understand about their mental health myself better.” issues, in order to encourage You don’t have to point out to all those who are suffering Neerja that Aryaman seems to be a silently to speak out and chip off the old block for her eyes to seek help. At the same light up instantly. “I’m very proud Neerja Birla time, we must celebrate all of Aryaman. It takes a lot of guts to with her kids: those everyday heroes who do what he did,” says Neerja. “As Aryaman Vikram (this picture), show immense courage a mother, I took him through the Ananya (below) to acknowledge and seek process: I told him people will ask and Advaitesha professional help regarding you questions; was he ready for the (below left) their mental health issues. consequences? Had he thought of the responses he’d have to give and Even today, when the pressures that came with it? 4 somebody equates the “Aryaman told me, ‘Mum, need to visit a therapist to putting this out there will inspire “being mad”, you say… people to do the right thing.’ I was Let’s abolish this horrible scared for him as a mother, but also term altogether. No one is very proud. It was a very large- ‘mad’. At any point in time, hearted thing for him to do!” anyone of us can develop a mental health issue. PRESENT/FUTURE As the world strives to fight an The secret of being unexpected pandemic, the need 5 mentally strong… for resilience and mental strength Is knowing that no one and no gets all the more important. situation is perfect; believing “At Mpower, we have created a that imperfect is beautiful. helpline with the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) and It’s okay to sometimes the government of . 6 feel unsure, anxious, We are putting out content on social uncertain because… media and video chats and online Life is full of challenges. And counselling is busier than ever. at times, these emotions can “My advice to people in get the better of us. As they quarantine would be to maintain say, ‘Life is 10 per cent what a routine, look at the positive side happens to us and 90 per cent of things, and keep in touch via how we respond to it.’ technology,” says Neerja. “These are difficult times; understanding 7 On Mother’s Day, your our emotions will help us put the advice to parents is… right coping mechanism in place. We need to consider ourselves Remember: it’s okay to not be okay, caregivers. We are the potters but it’s not okay to not be okay and who mould the clay. We must not seek help.” not dictate our ideas. What [email protected] your children are good at may Follow @JamalShaikh on Twitter not be what you were good at! 10 Cover story

[ MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL ] how i beat postpartum The actor writes about her postpartum depression, how she beat it and become a star parenting blogger By Sameera Reddy

eople ask me why I’m was at an all-time low. I couldn’t such a crazy energetic muster up the courage to fight “I choose to person. What fuels the blues. be neutral to P me to push so hard accolades and for happiness? I always say: “I’m IMPERFECTLY status. I don’t have greedy for the good stuff. I’m PERFECT time for negativity. greedy for time!” It took me two to three years to It’s made me fearless.” Because after I gave birth to get back on track, so when I got Hans, my first born, motherhood pregnant again, I made it my was nothing like I had imagined it personal mission to hold on to a to be. I went from being a glamorous happy space. Today, I choose to be actress to 32-kilos overweight, and neutral to accolades and status. I suffered severe anxiety after giving don’t have time for negativity. It’s birth. I only felt a dark space. made me fearless and honestly I wish I had had this mindset in HORMONAL HIT my teens. If I had, I wouldn’t have No one had told me about given so many trivial situations postpartum blues. Depression the importance I did. Our society was a word I would never feeds us with the illusion of what have related to. But this was perfect should be. I am imperfectly hormonal. I hit a deep, dark perfect and I cannot tell you how space where the fakeness liberating it is. of the world of putting up Have I aged? Of course. Am I that skinny girl I was? Hell no. Am I still best friends with Brave is the the tinsel town who’s who? I’m new mantra. a mom of two, and no, I don’t And this have the time. But do I think I have more to offer? To my soul, lockdown to myself ? To my family? To real has only people? To the Sam who still reiterated feels guilty about losing time to postpartum? Damn straight I do. that false And that my friend is the key. bravado has It’s the key to unlock bucket no place loads of infectious happy energy in the world every day. today. BE BRAVE So if you are struggling with appearances and keeping up anything, don’t sweep it under Sameera with her with everyone was magnified the carpet because there’s no daughter Nyra, 9 a million times more. I could use hiding it. Brave is the new months old and son not look in the mirror. I could mantra. And this lockdown has Hans, 5 years old not feel happy. It was such an only reiterated that false bravado injustice to my husband, who has no place in the world today. As was amazingly supportive, and Rihanna says, work, work, work. the beautiful baby who chose Work through your pain and I me to be his mother. guarantee there is a shiny, happy Photo: Amrita Samant At that time I was so light at the end of the tunnel. ashamed of all those feelings of [email protected] self-loathing that my self-worth Follow @htbrunch on Twitter

may 10, 2020 [ MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL ] ‘I Am Not Three Anymore’ Children grow up, Mothers are always mothers, writes the actor By Shefali Shah

y son is not three closed and a delicate smile, in a Your wounds could’ve been Shefali Shah with her two boys, anymore. This mumble of gurgles and broken healed with my kisses. Your fears Aryaman and Maurya when they information was words that only I understood. banished by my hugs. At three, were 18 months and six months old imparted to me If you were three you would you would have felt safest in respectively (left), and when they were M 15 and 14 years old by my very grown up son (he is have asked me to brush your my arms. 17, while my older son is 18) as teeth and giggled as I shampooed If you were three, you would I kissed and hugged him while I your soft hair. climb into my lap, showering me No matter how old you get, whether was waking him up. You would have relied on me with kisses without an occasion you are three or thirteen or 30. Of course you are not three, to choose your clothes and then to commemorate. While I will always be the my darling. worn them with pride. If you were three, you would mother who has not grown up You can’t be and it’s my loss. If you were three, you have stood outside the bathroom since the hour you were born. If you were three, you’d would have held on to my dress, door as I showered and waited have searched for the crook of following me around as I cooked impatiently till I got out to hold P.S. Everyday in the smallest of my neck before you opened breakfast for you. you again. ways I’m reminded what I choose your eyes. Of course you aren’t three, If you were three, your life to overlook. My babies grew up You would have snuggled into my love, because if you were you would revolve around me, my too fast. And I was reminded my embrace, lingering in sleep a would have insisted I feed you baby. The way mine will always of it by my younger son in this little longer as you clung to me. with a story I made up along the revolve around you. instance as well. I wrote this not If you were three, you’d have way, which you would listen to Yes, you are not a three-year- for him to read, I wrote it for begged me to lie down with you wide-eyed in a rapturous silence old anymore. myself to accept. and woken up to my kisses. punctuated with chuckles. But you will always be my baby. You would have raised your [email protected] Follow @htbrunch on Twitter arms and waited for me to “....I will always be the mother pick you up. who has not grown up since the Shefali Shah is a National Award-winning actress You would have replied to my who is known and appreciated for her powerful ‘good morning’ with your eyes hour you were born” performances on the big and small screen

may 10, 2020 12 indulge rude food ir sanghvi

A Bit Of There is more than one kind but a good cheesecake is hard to find

have spent over a month not writing about food on perfecting the art these pages. I thought that at a time when migrants Cheesecakes seem to be catching on in India and Annamaya at the were walking home, hungry and penniless, it seemed a Andaz does some outstanding ones like this peanutbutter one Ilittle insensitive to focus on the deliciousness of food. So I wrote about movie stars, theoretical pieces about the And even when the moment of discovery came, it future of eating out, how the hospitality business could was not some glorious gourmet cheesecake that did it recover, and so on. but Birdseye Frozen Cheesecake with its layer of frozen But at some stage, life has to return to normal so today blueberry topping that made me change my mind. To I am officially declaring my food curfew over and getting this day, I sometimes suspect that my preference for back to writing about the things we love. cheap, fun cheesecake stems from my early love of frozen One of them is cheesecake. supermarket cheesecake. It is hard to judge how popular cheesecake is in India The thing that intrigues me most about cheesecake is because bakery/dessert fads come and go. People still that the idea may probably have originated in India. seem to like disgusting cupcakes with red velvet toppings is the home of one of the most under-rated cuisines in and very dodgy macarons. But cheesecake seems finally India and its mithaiwallahs have long made a sweet called to be catching on though frankly, it is still hard to find a , which is essentially a cheesecake made with memorable cheesecake in India. chhena, a kind of cottage . There are obvious exceptions, though. Ritu Dalmia’s I was sceptical about it really being a kind of Latitude does a killer baked cheesecake, the Salted Caramel cheesecake till my colleague, the food writer Amit Patnaik, Cheesecake at Annamaya at the Andaz is outstanding, got me some from Odisha. and in Mumbai, Rohit Sangwan (of the Taj Land’s End) He was right: it is a form of cheesecake and later my friend remains the only pastry chef in the city (though he is now Pinaki Mishra, the BJD MP, sent me another version (with fruit an executive chef) who has never ever made a bad dessert/ topping), which was even more like a Western cheesecake. ice /cake of any description in his life. Why, I wondered, did so few of us in the rest of India Perhaps the idea of making a cake out of cheese know about this amazing cheesecake? Why wasn’t puts some people off. I know that it certainly made there a famous Bengali version as there is of other me resistant to the idea of trying cheesecake Odiya sweets? even though my father liked it so much. I guess The origin of the cheesecake is, in any case, that, in my imagination, I thought of it as a the subject of some dispute. All kinds of claims cake made from some smelly blue cheese. It are made for the ancient Greeks or the Romans took me a long time to work out that it was and other civilisations. made from things like and had My solution in times of doubt has always nothing to do with real cheese. been to turn to Heston Blumenthal’s work on the history of dishes. And sure enough, cheesy details Heston had his own theory. Nearly always baked, the New York cheesecake is Heston had been researching old English quite heavy and dense food when he came across a recipe for a dish

May 10, 2020 tterstock Photo: s hu Photo: desi cheesecake oriental appeal the Best bake Chhena Poda is essentially a cheesecake made The Japanese do a soufflé version of Ritu Dalmia’s Latitude does a killer with chhena, a kind of the cheesecake baked cheesecake called Sambocade in Britain’s oldest cookbook, The Forme of Cury. (Before we go further, a small diversion. The name of the book has often been used to suggest that Brits knew about curry in the Middle Ages. In fact ‘cury’ has nothing to the Indian ‘curry’ and was the Middle English term for cookery.) The Forme of Cury was compiled in 1390, apparently by the cooks of King Richard II. Sambocade was made by wringing the water out of goat’s cheese and baking it in a pastry crust. The flavour came from and elderflower. Heston recreated the dish Claim to fame sweet truth recreating for his London restaurant Dinner and there is no doubt Chef Manjul Myne’s Chef Rohit Sangwan history that it is one of the earliest cheesecakes. cheesecakes are has never made a Heston Blumenthal As Blumenthal points out, there are essentially two quite famous bad dessert serves the oldest version kinds of cheesecake. The baked cheesecake is more common of the cheesecake in restaurants these days. In technical terms, it is a custard – a term that includes quiches, crème caramel or any dish Many home chefs make refrigerated cheesecake and that takes a liquid plus egg mixture and cooks it till it is set Tread warily they can be delicious. But when pastry shops try and make into a solid gel. (If you want to get more technical: the egg as the skills them, the results can be disturbing. They have the same proteins are agitated by heat, bind together as a network required to how-to-make-it-last problem so they compensate by adding and create a relatively stable structure.) too much gelatine. This results in a strange cake with a make a good rubbery texture. At most commercial establishments you baked cheesecake owes its structure to the eggs but cheesecake should steer clear of the refrigerated cheesecakes unless, it can be dense and the baking gives some of the are not the of course, you are dealing with the likes of Heston whose Aingredients a ‘cooked’ flavour. Delicate it is not. recreation of Sambocade is not baked. An unbaked cheesecake is a fresher, more delicate dish. same as those All of this may not help you when you go to a café In essence, it is a kind of mousse that relies on gelatine for you need or a pastry shop, so here is a rough guide to what the its structure, rather than egg . (Though, of course, cheesecake names mean: you can put eggs to aerate the mousse even though they for baking New York Cheesecake: Nearly always baked but very will not contribute to the structure.) cookies or heavy and dense. Made with lots of heavy (and/or sour) The problem with most commercial cheesecake is that it cupcakes cream, eggs, cream cheese etc. Often baked twice at two is not meant to be eaten immediately and so must retain its different temperatures. structure for rather a long time. This means that most pastry Chicago Cheesecake: Baked (though non-baked versions shops and cafés like to make baked cheesecakes, which have are often found) with cream cheese, it is known for its a longer shelf-life. So, all too often, their cheesecakes are texture: firm on the outside but creamy on the inside. mass-produced to an unacceptable density, which is sought to Italian Cheesecake: Made from , mascarpone and be covered up with icing, toppings, fruit etc. other real cheese (not cream cheese). Can be dry. There are very few people who can make a decent Japanese Cheesecake: Called soufflé cheesecake in Japan. baked cheesecake – and many of them tend to be home The Japanese like light, airy, soufflé-like textures in their chefs. The best cheesecake I have had in years was, . Even their pancakes come in a soufflé variation. A bizarrely enough, at the home of Aveek Sarkar, my ex-boss. soufflé cheesecake is not like a normal cheesecake and, at Aveek has spent years holding forth about food and most places that claim to make it in India, it is not even like those of us who did not take him entirely seriously have now a normal Japanese soufflé cheesecake. been stunned into silence by his decision to take up cooking So what should you order? as a serious hobby. It turns out that he is a very good cook Well it’s a matter of choice. Avoid gelatinised-type and the highlight of a recent dinner I had at his home in cheesecake places. You’ll find that at such places, the was a brilliant cheesecake, baked in the oven and gelatine ends up in every dessert. then refrigerated overnight. It was firm, fresh and delicious. Some hotels know their stuff: The Land’s End in There are commercial chefs who can manage something on the Mumbai; the Andaz in Delhi and a few others. ( I haven’t approaching that quality and texture. I spoke to Manjul tried it myself but Rohit Sangwan rates the cheesecake at Myne of the Andaz in Delhi, a hotel that has been famous web the rival The Oberoi in Mumbai very highly and is full of For more columns by for its cheesecake since it opened. Manjul modestly gave Vir Sanghvi, log on to praise for Executive Chef Satbir Bakshi.) the credit to Gordon Galea, a Maltese chef who launched hindustantimes.com/ But otherwise tread warily. The skills required to make brunch. Follow Vir on the hotel’s patisserie and whose recipes have been followed Twitter at twitter.com/ a good cheesecake are not the same as those you need for from Day One. I won’t go into the details but the secret of virsanghvi baking cookies or cupcakes. Gordon and Manjul’s cheesecake appear to be the high egg- The views expressed by And if you are lucky enough to be friends with Aveek to-dairy ratio and the use of white chocolate in the mixture. the columnist are personal Sarkar, your cheesecake problems are solved forever.

MAy 10, 2020 14 indulge this indian life shoba narayan

Learning Life Lessons At The Local Bazaar Bargaining isn’t about money. It is about creating relationships out of transactions.

ow much is the price of bhindi in Delhi, ji? And what about tamatar in Mumbai? How much are you folks paying? H To understand life, there is no better place to begin than the local bazaar. It is here that the average Indian child learns

two very important things: how to gauge freshness or quality, and h garg imaging: part Photo how to decide on price or value. Management schools have a fancy There was my neighbour, Rinku Agarwal, haggling with term for this. They call this “judgement” and link it to leadership let’s get real! Rukmini, the vegetable vendor over the price of pumpkin. Rinku and decision-making. We call this bargaining and learn this skill Technology may spoke , Rukmini spoke . Neither understood each at the laps of our parents and grandparents. We learn very quickly have made things easy, but once in a other’s words. But they did the dance, with eyes and gestures. to take a measure of the situation, object and people. while we need to go Rinku gesticulated fiercely over a carved pumpkin and let loose a Thanks to Covid-19, this is exactly what is happening in our and haggle with tirade in Hindi about its high price. Rukmini pointed to a pile of building. Every other day, a vegetable truck appears at our gate. the vendors beans that were low priced. But Rinku wanted the pumpkin. There we gather, standing one metre apart, to buy vegetables, She pointed to Rukmani’s pregnant daughter-in-law, put her fruits and bread. arms together in the universal baby-rocking gesture and pinched “Have you ever bargained at a bazaar?” I asked little Natasha, out what looked like a penis. all of 8, who stood fidgeting on one side as her mom bought capsi- “Natasha, close your eyes,” I commanded. cum and corn. “Ladka,” Rinku pronounced with a thumbs-up. Natasha whose curly locks look straight out of a children’s In this Rukmini started laughing. “This madam will put me out colouring book, shook her head. cautious of business,” she told me. “How will I save money for Shame, I thought. Some of my happiest childhood memories new world, my grandson?” involve accompanying my grandmother to the market. We would Rinku got her pumpkin for a song. But she gave the pregnant spend hours haggling over the price of potatoes and carrots, until where social daughter-in-law ~500 to buy the baby a blanket. Where was the it got dark and we were forced to take an autorickshaw home. It distancing is logic in haggling for pumpkin and paying 10 times more for was no use pointing out to my grandmom that we were spending a blanket? three times as much on auto fare as we were saving on vegetables. no longer Had Natasha stuck around instead of running off, I would For her, it was the principle of the thing. the oxymoron have told her that bargaining wasn’t about the money at all. It Most elder Indians grew up in a resource constrained it once was about creating relationships out of transactions, adding economy. They tend to focus on small savings, which in their mind spice to life, making people laugh and celebrating the connec- adds up. The notion of penny-wise pound-foolish, or paise-wise, was, make tions that make us human. rupee-foolish doesn’t convince them. interactions In this cautious new world, where social distancing is no “Darling, you have to learn how to bargain,” I told Natasha. count longer the oxymoron it once was, make interactions count. “Why?” she asked. Technology today has made it possible to buy everything without “Because bargaining is like a dance,” I said. “It is about con- interacting with any human. But once in a while, more often nection and compromise.” than not, we all need to walk to the local bazaar and haggle with Natasha stared at me in the manner of kids who lose interest the vendors, just like our parents did. Stand six feet apart, wear around adult words. gloves and a mask. Protect yourself of course. But don’t stop I had to get her attention. “It is about making people laugh,” talking to people. I said. on the Being human is taking delight in the sparks of connection y Natasha smiled. Laughing she was interested in. that interaction brings. Some may be mundane, while others are In Yale University’s most popular course ever (now available web THIS INDIAN LIFE by rich with unexpected surprises. So talk because you can. Oh, and for free online), professor Laurie Santos talks about how to culti- Shoba Narayan can also be read on hindustantimes. to flex your bargaining muscles. vate well-being. The old adage is true, she says. Money cannot buy Sh ett h at rab com/brunch. Follow Shoba happiness. Talking to people on the other hand makes us happy. on Twitter at twitter.com/ (This column addresses the issue of parenting our parents and other unique facets of This Indian We humans long for connection. ShobaNarayan Life and our culture. If you have stories about the weird and wonderful relationships that enrich or enervate your life, write in.) “Stay right here and watch what is happening at this bazaar,” The views expressed by

I told Natasha. the columnist are personal This Indian Life appears every fortnight Columnist photo : P

may 10, 2020 indulge 15 techilicious rajiv makhni

Mobiles And Laptops: Critical Yet Crippled! In a lockdown, nothing is more important than your device. So why isn’t it classified as essential?

he message from a friend was urgent. She wanted to know if lifelines Setu app, online payments being made for food and groceries, the phone there was anyone in this lockdown who could repair a laptop With everything is the only lifeline to make a video call to a doctor for problems other than or sell a new one. The story behind the message was both happening online, Covid 19. How is this not more critical than any of the others that have funny and tragic. It was her parents’ anniversary; multiple mobile phones and been classified as essential? T laptops are a crucial people joined in to wish them on Zoom; in her enthusiasm to make it ‘special’ she popped open a bottle of Champagne – and because the part of our living UPGRADES DOWNGRADED laptop was right in front due to the Zoom call, the froth of the Cham- There are other considerations. We in India are still a feature phone pagne landed on the laptop. It was essentially fried within seconds. market and none of the main parts of a lockdown life online can In a lockdown, with her laptop being her only lifeline for work and to be achieved without a smartphone. Thus the many millions who connect to people, she was left with zero options. were doing well with a feature phone in normal circumstances can’t That’s just one example of the way people have suffered in this upgrade to a smartphone as no one can sell them one. Then there’s extraordinary lockdown. With no sale of mobile phones, tablets this whole online classes situation. Multiple studies found that more or laptops and no repair shops open either, anybody who needs an than 40 per cent of households (even in many urban cities) were not upgrade or has a device on the blink has no options. The smartphone equipped with the right devices to be able to absorb all the compo- has become the only way to communicate. If that primary device dies, nents of a study session (some phone screens are too small to see it’s curtains for all those things as there are no repair shops open at Life without the online documents and others things teachers are sharing). Thus all and you can’t buy a new phone. a cellphone students are suffering through classes with inadequate equipment as they can’t upgrade. WELCOME TO DYSTOPIA is the true The above also applies to people working from home for the Life without a mobile phone is the true representative of a dystopian representative first time. Six to eight hours of continuous online work paired with future. The sad part: millions of devices have failed in the lockdown sketchy equipment makes for a terrible WFH warrior. No options period and people are left completely e-stranded. of a dystopian though. There isn’t a way to buy the right device. It’s actually shocking that laptop and mobile sales and mainte- future For all those that seem to think that opening up sales and mainte- nance is not part of ‘essential services.’ For a government that has been nance for mobiles and laptops could be dangerous and risky, here’s my pretty forward-thinking on the Coronavirus situation and has used take. This is not true. In fact it’s the safest by default. The manufacture technology extensively, this blind spot with sales and maintenance of electronics means naturally sanitised conditions, adequate distance of tech is totally illogical. Services classified as essential are the ones is automatically maintained and hygiene is a priority when sensitive whose interruption would endanger life, health or personal safety. components are at play. The same goes for repair stores also as they Could mobile phones and laptops that are in the frontline to keep us they too have to maintain high standards. And delivery of mobile and safe and secure be better defined? laptops would be through e-commerce (another category that should be An entire nation working from home, about 500 million people us- fully open and not just for essential goods – but that’s a rant for another ing essential apps on their smartphones, millions of school and college column), thus mostly contactless and safe. students taking online classes, the on the The Covid 19 situation is dynamic and fluid. This may not be the government itself pushing and im- only lockdown; there may be more in the future. Let’s make sure that ploring all of us to use the Aarogya web the most essential lifeline for survival – phones and laptops aren’t For more Techilicious columns by Rajiv Makhni, locked down too. After all, we should all be able to open a bottle of log on to hindustantimes. champagne for our parents’ anniversary without getting cut off from point of contact com/brunch. Follow Rajiv The smartphone has become the only on Twitter at twitter.com/ the world! RajivMakhni way to communicate, order essentials Rajiv Makhni is managing editor, Technology, NDTV, online, make payments, video call, keep The views expressed by and the anchor of Gadget Guru, Cell Guru and Newsnet 3 up with news et al the columnist are personal Techilicious appears every fortnight

may 10, 2020 16 cinema UNFORGETTABLE! Somewhere up there, Irrfan Khan, and are gathered together for a drink and a good time By Nandita Puri

Rishi Kapoor’s sharp wit made him a standout amongst Bollywood stars… …and Irrfan Khan celebrated his 10 years in Hollywood with a 10-movie marathon for this HT Brunch cover story

arlier this month we lost my son and I headed to the affection, admiration, pathos they did in his films always. two stalwarts of the film crematorium, someone came and were in his eyes. He was weeping It was in 1993 that I first industry. First Irrfan Khan stopped the van. It was Irrfan. without shedding a tear. I will met Irrfan, then Irfan on the Eand then Rishi Kapoor. He pushed his head through the never forget those eyes. They sets of Gulzar’s Kirdaar, a One representing the realistic window and stared at Om. Grief, spoke a million words then like series for Doordarshan based school of acting, the other pure on award-winning short stories. entertainment. And yet, both “HOW IS PAKISTAN, YAAR?” IRRFAN This story was Khuda Hafiz by touched millions of Indians, Samaresh Basu, starring Om leaving them bereft. ASKED ME WHEN WE LANDED IN and Irrfan. I was amazed by The mind goes back KARACHI. “THIS IS MY FIRST VISIT” Irrfan’s performance. It was past immediately to January 6, 2017. “MINE TOO,” I SAID. midnight and the boats at Madh My husband Om Puri passed Island, the location of the shoot, away due to a sudden heart “OH, IS IT? THEN YOU ARE AS had stopped, so Gulzar saab asked attack. We were in shock. As WISE AS ME!” us to drop Irrfan. He was staying

may 10, 2020 cinema 17

at D N Nagar in those days as a left to join his friends, my two paying guest and when Om tried girlfriends had nearly swooned to drop him at his doorstep, he with disbelief. He had indeed said, embarrassed, “Om bhai, no. come a long way from those It’s okay. It’s too ramshackle. I’ll ramshackle PG days! get off here.” Last month I heard he was not As the years moved by, so well. I chose not to believe that did Irrfan. Over breakfast once after watching Angrezi Medium. at Jehan Numah hotel in Bhopal I was thinking of calling him. But during the shoot of Maqbool that was not to be. As I tried to (2003), Irrfan and I got talking. He take in the news of his passing had moved to a bigger apartment, away, those eyes looking at my was doing well but spoke with husband’s face haunted me. Then, a certain naivety. The biggest it was as if Om was passing on worry then was leaving his his mantle to Irrfan. The two of pregnant wife Sutapa in Mumbai them were not only great Indian while he shot in Bhopal. “Can’t actors, but truly left their mark in be with her and that’s killing me. international cinema as well. But what to do. All the stars, their Gone too soon, Irrfan, is all I dates…I have to be here.” That can say, and I know Om bhai will was 2003. admonish you up there, “Abbe In 2005, Irrfan had come khotey…. Aur thora jalwa dikha a smart act Om Puri appeared alongside Irrfan Khan in Samresh Basu’s into his own. Mahesh and Pooja keya anathana…” Khuda Hafiz on DD and also acted in Rishi Kapoor-starrer Prem Granth “AFTER WATCHING ARDH SATYA, Almost a decade later, the lad a lifelong association with RISHI KAPOOR CALLED MY from NSD went on to make a mark Dabboo, Chintu and Chimpoo. HUSBAND [OM PURI] TO ASK, ‘THAT for himself in Indian cinema and The elegance of Raj this time RK Films approached Kapoor is something I will always DRuNK SCENE… DID YOU REALLY him for their home production, remember. The first time I went to HAVE A PEG OR TWO?’” Prem Granth (1996), starring Rishi RK House in Chembur, Krishna ji Kapoor and . Om asked what I would like to drink. Bhatt, Vinta Nanda, Om, Ishaan he year was 1984 and Rishi had refused initially due to money A few minutes later I saw her and I along with Irrfan were Kapoor was already a star. matters. Rishi Kapoor called him walking towards me in her elegant headed to Karachi for the Kara An NSD trained actor, Om (and this time Om had his own white sari and trademark pearls, International Film Festival. As TPuri, staying at a PG dig in apartment and landline!) and said hair perfectly coiffure, followed we landed in Karachi and waited Andheri East, was trying to catch they needed to talk. by a waiter holding a tray and for our luggage, he asked me a break with ’s “I’ll come to the office my drink. She took the drink and excitedly, “How is Pakistan, yaar? Ardh Satya. When he returned Chintu ji,” Om said. handed it to me. She could have This is my first visit.” home one evening, his landlady “No, Om ji, I will come home,” sent the waiter with the drink, “Mine too,” I said. told him that Rishi Kapoor had Kapoor emphasised. but no. That spelt class. I “Oh is it? Then why am I called and said he would call back On the appointed day he came remember calling up Chintu asking you? You’re as wise as later. Om looked at her and said, home, and we first had a cup of tea ji after reading his biography me,” and we both laughed. We “Oh, someone’s playing the fool.” together. Then I disappeared while Khullam Khulla where he had a lovely time – not to mention “I thought so too,” she retorted. the men talked. When I heard the described a similar incident. the beautiful ladies who took a Later that night Rishi Kapoor clinking of glasses and “Cheers,” The last time I spoke to shine to Irrfan. When one of the called and it took Om a while to I entered knowing everything had Chintu ji was soon after seeing top Pak television heroines asked believe it was true. Kapoor was worked out well. After a drink Mulk (2018) and just before he left him out, he innocently asked me, a little high and praised Om for Chintu ji left and Om decided to for treatment in New York. My “Yeh kaun, tumhe maalum?” Ardh Satya: “…Especially that walk him down to his car. The son wanted to have a word with When I mentioned her name, drunk scene. Did you really have a compound was teeming with the him too. The last thing Chintu ji he said simply, “Oh achcha. Jau peg or two?” building children and their mothers told my son was: “Beta, look after kiya dinner pe?” I laughed. Up to “Chintu ji asking me genuinely as word had obviously got around your mother.” you, I said, but I marvelled at his about that scene was one of my that Rishi Kapoor had come. I can quite imagine Om and childlike impishness. best compliments as an actor. But These two incidents illustrate the Chintu ji laughing We kept bumping into what touched me most was that magnanimity of Chintu ji even together up there. each other at various festivals Rishi Kapoor, a huge star those though he was a star. “Toh deri kis baat worldwide. Some years back at days, actually took the trouble of What followed was ki… Cheers!” a café in Juhu, as Irrfan (by now finding my PG number and calling a month in ’s a big star) entered, he saw me, to appreciate my performance… farmhouse in Loni, the Nandita Puri is an author, chairperson of Om Puri and immediately joined me for that was his magnanimity,” Om incredible hospitality of Foundation and wife of a few minutes. By the time he was to recount later. the Kapoor khandan, and late Om Puri

may 10, 2020 18 Relationships

Love, Lust, Loneliness during Lockdown Some couples get closer, some tread shaky ground. And dating apps are doing better than ever! Text by Priya Bala Photo imaging by Parth Garg

may 10, 2020 t’s been the best of times, all users. This allows members relationship is going to remain it’s been the worst of times. to temporarily change their virtual,” he says. It depends on whether location and connect with PR professional Seema lives Iyou’re single and ready to matches all over the world. Going alone and is the second type. “I don’t mingle in the virtual world, are by the data, plenty of people really want to exchange romantic trying to stay connected with a signed up. In India, the highest or sexual messages with anyone at partner who could be living a number of people ‘passporting’ this time,” she says. “What I need is few blocks away, enjoying the was between Mumbai-Delhi and someone who checks in on me and unprecedented togetherness of Bengaluru-Delhi. asks if I’m okay.” being at home with your spouse There were also those who In virtual relationships that or succumbing to cabin fever for wanted to connect with people are going to remain just that at that very reason. in other countries. Neelima, a least for the time being, there Though less grave than chartered accountant, decided to are only limited positives, warns the effect on livelihoods, drop a pin in Berlin, “a city I’ve psychologist Vishal Srivastava careers and businesses, been to and love,” she says. “I of Swabhaavam. “It gives people the fallout of the lockdown met someone who was interested a long leash, encourages fake has crept into the personal in the same things I was – food, profiles and puts innocent people realm, realigning relationships, beer, the club scene – and we’ve at risk. You should really be especially romantic and had great conversations. We may certain what you are signing up sexual. Online dating is on the or may not meet in the future, for,” he says. rise, and so is virtual flirting and but I feel I’ve found a friend.” In the absence of real sexting. What’s more, nude selfies Singles are also using Zoom connections, the virtual is and even online threesomes are to set up ‘dates’ with people the only way out for many helping people cope with isolation. they may have met on dating people, Natarajan points out. apps. Zakir, apprentice in an “When technology reaches the ONE PLUS ONE architecture firm, got dressed, next level, there will be truly With the impossibility of going out poured himself a drink and sophisticated virtual reality and meeting the people you were spent an evening video-chatting and that could impact how we introduced to online, you would with a girl he had met online. navigate this terrain,” he says. believe that dating apps would be “We attempted some quizzes and Many are using available dormant in a lockdown. Not so. played a few games on House technology, not just to stay connected, but also to satisfy He says… sexual needs in the lockdown. “VIRTUAL DATING MAY WORK Late-night sexting has certainly increased. Sriram, a restaurateur, Art attack PARTICULARLY WELL FOR THOSE chats with his girlfriend who is A New York Times article recently made a WHO DO NOT WISH TO MAKE A stuck in another city, most nights. case for quarantine nude selfies as, well...art! SERIOUS COMMITMENT” “We’re trying to spice things up with imagined scenarios and on the two people in the ­—MAHESH NATARAJAN, PSYCHOLOGIST even role play. It’s nothing close relationship. Some are stifled to being together for real, but will by the closeness: imperfections have to do for now,” he says. appear magnified. They are She says… Whether it’s the prospect asking themselves if this is “I DON’T WANT TO EXCHANGE of isolation or the pressures of what they signed up for. There’s ROMANTIC MESSAGES WITH lockdown, the exchange of nude a distinct possibility of such and semi-nude selfies has also marriages ending in the near ANYONE AT THIS TIME. WHAT I NEED been surging. “My boyfriend and future. Yet others are allowing IS SOMEONE WHO ASKS IF I’M OK.” I would sext occasionally before old wounds to heal and feeling —SEEMA, PR PROFESSIONAL when we couldn’t meet, but grateful for the togetherness.” I’ve never sent him ‘pics,’” says Srivastava says spouses Tinder noted a record three billion Party, it was fun and helped quell Sasha, a home chef. “But now I’m could work their way through plus swipes on a given day at the the need for some connection,” in a different city and suddenly this enforced togetherness end of March. A company release he says. I find myself making ‘intimate’ by drawing clear boundaries, said, “Daily conversations have videos to send him.” allowing themselves both been up an average of 20 per cent VIRTUALLY physical and mental space. around the world, and the average TOGETHER TWO MUCH “It’s important to share length of the conversations is Mahesh Natarajan, counselling While singles are finding responsibilities and not let small 25 per cent longer. In India, psychologist at InnerSight, new ways to date and couples frictions build up to something conversations have been up by says it’s natural to want to be who’ve been forced apart by the more serious,” he says. an average of 39 per cent and the connected at a time like this. lockdown are figuring out how to (Some names have been average length of conversations is “It may work particularly well keep their connection, married changed to maintain anonymity) 28 per cent longer.” for those who do not wish to couples are having to deal Clearly, isolation is make a serious commitment. In with unprecedented levels of [email protected] prompting people, mostly singles the present circumstances, you togetherness. “The reality – both Follow Twitter to seek an online connection. cannot even ask for a one-on- positive and negative – of the Priya Bala is a senior Tinder decided to ride the wave one meeting. There are others individual and the relationship writer based in Bengaluru, who and made its paid Passport who may try it for a while and is emerging during this crisis,” has edited several mainstream feature free through April for find it futile to continue if the Natarajan says. “Much depends newspapers in the past

may 10, 2020 20 personal agenda

Grammy® Award-winning composer Ricky Kej

date of birth place of birth sun sign August 5 North Carolina, USA Leo home town SCHOOL/college Bengaluru Bishop Cotton Boys’ School, Bengaluru high point of your life low point of your life Winning the Grammy Award When my sisters stole my stash of chocolates at age 10

Describe yourself in One positive thing about the

hoto: Mithun Bhat Mithun hoto: a hashtag. lockdown that you have felt...? P #MusicForOurPlanet That my dogs are really happy!

And your alter ego in What’s the last thing a hashtag…? you googled? #MovieBuff Myself!

What’s your favourite word to And what did you discover? use in a song...? Nothing that I didn’t already One. know. I just wanted to check on a few stats and stories. Give us an example. Well, my own songs are named as Name the last show you One Song, One With Earth. binge-watched. Homeland. Share your first memory of writing a song. What do you like best about I was in grade five when I wrote a Indian classical music? song on nature. That it comes from the heart and soul of the musician. So, what was the song? Unfortunately, I haven’t got it What advice would you have written anywhere. Just vaguely given your 10-year-old self ? remember that it was on nature. Carry on the way you are.

Tell us one millennial word What do you mean by that? that you have recently learnt. Did you change yourself at Nincompoop, it means a foolish age 10 in some way? or stupid person. No! Even if I went back in time to when I was five or even 15, I’d But that’s not a millennial have had the same advice. term. It’s an old, old word. Oh! I wasn’t aware of that. I heard List three things nobody it recently and found it funny. knows about you. I do not have regular sleep tim- ings. I have only 11 sets of clothes and lastly, I no longer own a car. On my Phone So you Uber…? Any interesting experiences? The first app I check in the morning: Gmail I guess when I travel abroad, its The last thing I do on my phone before sleeping: nice to see many women Uber Answer messages drivers. I wish that happens On speed dial: Food delivery services here also soon. Favourite filter on Insta: “Original” What would the title of your biography be? The least used app on my phone: All the game apps, I download them, but never play them The traditional futurist. A YouTube video you have enjoyed watching: Interviewed by Veenu Singh Honest Trailers may 10, 2020 The first song on your spotify: Glycerine by Bush INDIA’S MOSTSUCCESSFUL CRICKETERSINBRUNCH

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FITNESS SPECIAL EAT MORE, WEIGH LESS! TWO CHEFS CONFESS: THEY ONLY WORK OUT TO HOG SOME MORE! ING: KELVIN CHEUNG & SARANSH GOILA PAGE 28

KL RAHUL IN STYLE MEET THE 26-YEAR-OLD CRICKETER WHO WANTS TO BE WOOED BY THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS WHY AN HT BRUNCH EXCLUSIVE! SHIKHAR #KLinStyle DHAWAN SWEARS BY SUFI IPL 2016’s winning star is a Sufi music fan. We take him to experience his first qawwali at the dargah of Hazrat Nizamuddin. “I want someone The result: A batsman on a to pick me up for a philosophical new pitch! date with flowers. I am a sucker for compliments!”

+TRAVEL FOCUS! INSIDE COACHELLA: THE CRAZIEST MUSIC FEST IN THE WORLD! PAGE 34

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CUS EL FO TRAV & AN APPETITERT “Growing up, I realised that if + RA OD you limit yourself to the same FO FO friends’ circle, you just stay there” GOOD AIN! SP TH “It’s important as a player to IN know your end zone!” BY SIDDHARANT DHANV “I introspect on how I am perceived by other people. SHANGHVI I really love to dress well. Before I go to bed, I imagine what I’ll wear the next day!”

WIZARD OF THE WICKET DID YOUKNOW CRICKETER SHREYASIYER, 25, IS ASTAGE MAGICIAN AS WELL? PRESENTING:THE MULTIFACETED INTERESTS ONLY VIRAT KOHLI AMILLENNIAL CANHAVE! FLASHBACK #WicketWizard IN AANN EEXXCCLLUUSISIVVEE IINTNTEERRVIVIEEWW TTOO RARAJDEEPJDEEP SASARRDDEESAISAI,IINDIANDIA’’SS BESBEST-T LOLOVEDVED CRICKETER REVEALS HIS AMBITIONS OF BEING “A MONKINA CIVIL WORLD” TURN TO PAGE 12 FORMOREARCHIVAL PHOTOS

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