•Prescriptions • Over-the-Counter Products • All drug plans honoured ￿ On Campus: 3rd floor in the SUB

the B.PH,L.PH. cord 884-3101 Johanne Fortier Hawksausage anyone? Eat, drink and polka at Laurier's Oktoberfest

SABRINA SACCOCCIO able now to avoid paying $10 at the door. McMaster students coming to party at our CordNews Live oom-pah-pah bands will be fea- ever-so-popular Oktoberfest. This year Laurier's thrown a twist into tured at all Laurier events (with regular "Since that has stopped, nothing serious Oktoberfest. music interspersed so you don't go nuts). has really occurred," said Jorg. A new daytime event called Oktoberfest paraphernalia is also available Not everyone is impressed with

I lawksausage Fest has been added to the - feathered hats, cowbells, shot glasses, Laurier's "Hawktoberfest" plans. "[Going to celebrations. This is a sausage-eating com- baseball hats, T-shirts and buttons. the Tlirret] is a waste of cash because it's petition, where teams work together in Oktoberfest is usually a night when just like any other night at the same old relay-type event. things can get a little out of control, so place, just this time with silly hats," said

Competitors will be given sausages to watch out - security is boosting its coverage Kurt Uriarte, a fourth year history student. eat as quickly as possible with their hands at the events and across campus. They "I'd rather go to an off-campus German tied behind their backs. Winners from the have a zero tolerance regarding liquor vio- club." games on Tuesday, Wednesday and lations, which always increase during Committee co-ordinator Andrew Thursday will proceed to the finals in Wilfs Oktoberfest. McCartney disagrees. He claims that stu- on Friday. Teams competing will include "The majority of misconduct occurring dents won't even recognize the Huret. "It's the Student Publications team, the during Oktoberfest is not the result of not just like any other night there," said Waterbuffaloes, Pi Kappa Alpha, Sigma Chi Laurier students," stated Peter Jorg, WLU McCartney. "The extra money is for the and the German club. Manager of Security Services. "It's usually extra effort. There's the mug, the band and If you aren't up and at it until later in the friends of students who get out of the whole Oktoberfest theme." the day, you might want to join in the hand." McCartney stated that $7 at the Tlirret, Laurier festivities at night during Conduct during the 'fest has improved where you know everyone and are close to Oktoberfest. Thursday night Seagram's since about eight years ago, when blocks of home, is better than spending $10 to stand hosts Hawktoberfest for $7 a person. The tickets were sent out to different universi- around in a damp arena where you pay Hirret parties it up on Friday and Saturday ties. Laurier used to have to deal with bus- more money for nothing - not even a beer for $8, including a mug. Tickets are avail- loads of already "loaded" Western and stein. Ontario studentsface Thegoes X-Filescommercial unregulated tuitionfees BRETT BALLAH limits the amount universities may Annamarie Castrilli Is worried that Canadian University Press raise their tuition fees each year. the government is not taking a larger

OTTAWA — Ontario student leaders When the former New Democrat view when cutting postsecondary are bracing for tuition fee increases government introduced its cost sav- education. "Attention to the bottom of 50 per cent or more in the coming ing measures, it allowed universities line when you slash and burn to get school year. Some student leaders are to increase tuition fees by up to 45 the deficit down doesn't take into predicting tuition fees of $4,000 for per cent over five years. account the role of education in eco- the 1996-97 school year. nomic restructuring," she said. In their election platform, the Some student "We're concerned about several province's Conservative government things. Although [the governments! promised to cut the deficit while cut- leaders ate campaign literature promises $400 ting taxes by 30 per cent. To reach tuition million in cuts, that figure is now a this government services, includ- predicting minimum. Universities should brace ing education, will undergo major feesof $4,000 for drastic cuts." restructuring. Castrilli is worried that the gov- Tony Skarica, parliamentary for the 1996-97 ernment has not set priorities with assistant for the Ministry of Colleges school year respect to post-secondary education. and Training, said that it is no longer "There are a number of priorities to a question if cuts are coming, but Skarica now raises the spectre of protect," she said. "First, there is when. "Nobody knows for sure [how deregulated tuition fees. "Our cam- access. If the fees are high, that's not large the cuts will be]," Skarica said. paign document says the government going to happen. Second, excellence. "Our campaign document talked will do that, so that's where we're If money is taken outright, how is

about $400 million for universities." going to go," he explained. excellence fostered? ... What we don't Provincial legislation currently Liberal education critic want is a system with no students."

News 3 Classifieds 6 ...What's International 7 CCAI Opinion 8 AMIC where... Feature 10 fcJICt Sports 12 IDC- Entertainment 15 NSK 19 Dim "The tie that binds since 1926" These poor, troubled youths were; two of the attendees at the first X-Files convention in Toronto. Apparently, they • • THURSDAY, 12,1995 VOLUME XXXVI ISSUE NINE OCTOBER don't getout much. WLU STUDENT PUBIJCA.TIONS Stoty Page 15 i Sins, 2mtj, irti, Bra in *> (iiu-ilc the Oktobcrftst (Experience at the Turret

Oktobtr iith and i#

> Last (Jtianrc to Buu Tickets in the Concoorsc and Centre Spot

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' | a dfla n'(f (Jt | I it\t/A has been chosen official I I Jk Graduation Portrait | I fe|V|B| Photographer | I for all 1996 Undergrads | l d I GRAD PHOTOS will be taken in Room P2005/2013 | I IP IE IT IB IRS ii lIIXi isf G | ji JOSTEN'S will be on campus i i October 17-30, 1995 i

ATOSTFMIJ—id. I Ejt AT THE CENTRE SPOT Jfipf t-/ JL ll 0 SIGN UP TODAY m CANADA LTD. | e] £Kytfti/bb & u — - S 8[M5M815M5M515M5M5M515M51515M515M515M51515M51515M515151515M5151515Ma8 NEWS Library CD-ROMs networked Access now through Banyan and mach1 CONNIE HAWKINS library hours. ble the information available. Cord News To access the CD-ROMs through The networking of the CD-ROMs This year the 14 CD-ROMs available Banyan, a user must type "cdroms" is not without its disadvantages. The for use on the library's third floor in lower case at the prompt. In order library cannot guarantee an avail- have been "networked." This means to make off-side access easier for able time slot in the library any they can be accessed from anywhere people, a "help" screen was intro- longer, because of the campus-wide on campus through the Banyan net- duced last week. After entering access. At the time of the installation, work, said Deborah Wills, a refer- "cdroms," the option to help or the library was told they could iso- encc/collections librarian in the WLU search is given. late at least one work station; how- library. The CD-ROMs can also be ever, this did not happen. As well, More than one student at a time accessed through machl, which anyone accessing the CD-ROMs from can now access each CD-ROM. The means they can be used from off- outside the library will not be moni- number for each CD-ROM varies campus sites. However, Wills tored for length spent on the com- because each producer charges the warned that only one person per puter. After 10 minutes of inactivity, library a different amount for each CD-ROM can have access through the connection will be broken. user, called a licensing fee. To machl at any one time. Searches Because a Banyan account is increase the availability of a CD by are also "much slower" through required, only staff, faculty and stu- even one extra user would, accord- machl. dents can have access. Previously, ing to Wills, cost a "hefty sum." This term, the library hopes to anyone who wanted to, including Previously, students could only have an expansion unit installed to alumni, could use the CD-ROMs. MODIFIED access the CD-ROMs after they had fit nine or more extra CD-ROMs, The information from CD-ROM signed up ahead of time for a 30 some of which contain older infor- searches can still be stored on disk. SLIGHTLY minute time slot. This system meant mation than the current CD-ROMs. Help in the form of a reed person is only one student could use each CD- The current unit has 14 slots avail- available until 9:00 pm from Monday ROM at any given time. Students able for CD-ROMs, so another unit to Thursday, to accommodate users PICTURE, were also limited to use during the same size would eventually dou- as much as possible. RUE Safety "net" over WLUSU: The library now in place Great Unknown Since you're probably confused, here's what they do... sort of KRISTI SCHILLING in more specific areas. Each sub- the End of Year party. Cord news committee consists of three direc- Okay, so you've got the main The what? Where's that? What tors, ordinary representatives and layout of the Students' Union. But exactly do they do? This is a com- representatives from the First you're still probably wondering mon reaction from Laurier stu- Year Council. The Finance and what actual work they do, right? dents when asked about the Building committee (F&B) regu- One tiling they do is coordinate

Students' Union. And, since you're lates the budget and finances. monthly "themes" - a set of activi- paying for it, we thought it was The Constitution and Operation ties and events. During the month important for you to know more Development (COD) is in charge of of September, the theme "Get about just what this behemoth is. policies, by-laws, and campus Involved" was promoted. Last The Students' Union is an clubs. The Academic Affairs year twenty people signed up for

incorporated body which repre- Board (AAB) manages issues the First Year Council - this year sents the views and opinions of around academics and teaching ninety people applied, thanks to the students at Laurier. They do at Laurier. the "Get Involved" campaign. this through various boards, sub- Had enough acronyms yet? October, is Safety month, and a committees and services. The The Students' Union gets even safety audit was done to highlight "official political people," accord- more condensed with the group- any areas on campus considered ing to Brad Ross, the Vice- ing of different services. Starting unsafe. President University Affairs (well offis the University Affairs depart- November is Sexual tell you what that is later), are the ment controlled by Ross. This Awareness month at Laurier, and Board of Directors (BOD). Acting portfolio includes safety, multi-cul- educational, informative events as a "watchdog," said Ross, the turalism and equality, volunteers will be combined with humourous BOD "oversees operations" at and charities. The second depart- ones. 1996 opens up with Multi- Laurier. Their responsibilities ment is Marketing, managed by Cultural month - plans are in include general planning, long- Eric Green. This department progress for a gathering of all the term decisions, policies and takes care of posters, media cov- ethnic clubs in a multi-cultural finances. However, they do not erage and press releases. festival. February is Health and regulate the "nitty-gritty" aspects Finance is managed by Joel Fitness month, which will include

HENSEL - ofLaurier. Lynn you can figure outfor your- various events to promote healthy The BOD has seventeen voting self what that department does. living. Stay tuned for the Guinness MARION positions consisting of fifteen Student Services, chaired by Paper Clip Chain being made elected directors, one president, Darryl Mackenzie, represents the February 2 - all proceeds will be

one vice-president, and - new this main services and clubs on cam- going to charity.

PICTURE: - year a chair. The chair, Russ pus: BACCHUS, Foot Patrol, Peer According to Brad Ross, Clark, does not vote unless there Help Line, Campus Clubs, Tutorial Laurier's Students' Union is the The front doors to the library are once again accessible. The entrance is a tie. The BOD meets every Services and Legal Resources. smoothest-running university nad been dosed due to the danger of fallingconcrete from the dam- week, to discuss new ideas, Last but not least is Student union in the entire country. Well aged sixth floor ' for . 'igjjf receive reports and input infor- Activities, directed by George let you decide that point your- mation. Raptis. This department manages self over the next few weeks as courtesy ofa big wooden overhang mat covers the front entrance. The President, Vice Presidents the main events of the year: Frosh we reveal the intricacies of our Presumably, rt is meant to catch any of the falling chunks. and executives cannot handle all Week, Homecoming, Hawktob- governing body. ofLaurier s complex issues, there- erfest, Boar's Head Dinner, This article is first of a series fore three sub-committees work Charity Ball, Fashion Show, and on the Students' Union. theCord October 12,1995 3 (News)— Oktoberfest ist nichtgut

KATHY CAWSEY never used to be a big drinking festi- similar to the "carnival" tradition of and buses, and gutters full of German beer there. It's just as Cord News val. Oh, sure, drinking was always a Spain and Italy - it was a holiday, a smashed beer bottles. Every year expensive, and you can even sing So far, I have survived about 17 part of it, but it was never the be-all time to shake loose from ordinary someone drives drunk, and every "roll out the barrels" with your Oktoberfests. Outsiders party, drink, and end-all ofthe festival. modes of behaviour. Oktoberfest in year someone gets hit by a drunk friends. Crash courses in German stumble through polkas, and prosit Several years ago, an exchange Munich is a big fair, with contests driver. After being forced to listen to are available, so you can mangle the their hearts 0ut.... Locals survive. student from Germany stayed with and activities for people of all types oom-pah-pah music for a whole language to your content. You might Oktoberfest is supposedly the us for a few months. She was very and all ages. It's a festival, not a week, watch intoxicated people try even be able to find a tape of oom- biggest thing to come along since disappointed in our Oktoberfest. drunkfest. to rock dance to a polka beat, and pah-pah music. someone managed to combine hun- Having been to the original Local K-Wers suffer the conse- listen to mangled German phrases There, you can throw up on your gry little bacteria with a few hops. Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany, quences of the change in at every turn, it's little wonder that own lawn, vandalize your own People come from miles around. she expected more than just a Oktoberfest. Every year we face some people in K-W are sick of shops, and harass your own neigh- Busloads of Americans actually rec- drinking orgy. The Munich streets full of staggering, vomiting Oktoberfest. bours. You don't have to come to K- ognize Canada exists for a week, Oktoberfest grew out of a tradition drunks, vandalized shop windows So go back home and drink your W justto get drunk. while Quebeckers - still refusing to acknowledge English is a real lan-

guage - try to speak "Allemagne" with French accents. With the Be it resolved that Oktoberfest notable exception of the natives, everybody seems to think is worth Oktoberfest is the crowning season is more trouble than it ofthe year. Native K-Wers thought TOM HRUBES in the parade for 4 years. Every parades where the audience was even more. It is important to show Oktoberfest was a great idea at first. Cord News year I dreaded this experience. enthusiastic. You got to see a lot of up to the bar already loaded so you After all, the German culture Oktoberfest started the same way First, I always really had to go to the people having a good time. Seeing don't notice how bad the place around here should be acknowl- all great traditions start: people bathroom the second the parade people truly enjoying themselves sucks. You'll be too drunk to edged and enjoyed by everyone. So, needed an excuse to get loaded. So started. I never had to go to the was usually reward enough for the remember the line up was ridicu- we have a little party, drink a bit of instead of rioting on a local street bathroom before the parade - my pain in my bladder and the stuff lous, the beer overpriced and the beer, wear a funny hat and say a they decided to get dressed up in bladder was too sadistic to tell me it stuck to the bottom of my shoe. music unbearable. couple "ein prosits." That's the way stupid clothes and drink until they was full while I could still relieve However, to talk about the Now that you've experienced the it used to be, at least. forgot how bad they looked. myself. Have you every marched for parade is to ignore the night life hill joy of the event you get to try Now, though, Oktoberfest is Every year the locals brush up a couple of hours with a full blad- which is what makes Oktoberfest and crawl home. Usually this is dominated by boors who have no on their German and scramble to der? Don't. Second, the Oktoberfest memorable. First you have to con- more difficult than you expected idea of the tradition behind the festi- buy tickets for various events. For parade always had horses. Don't get sult with all your friends to find out and may require the help of several val. Most of them can't even spell the duration of Oktoberfest K-W is me wrong - 1 love horses but they where they are going. Make sure Mends and/or police officers. "culture," and the most they know the place to go and party. Is there have one drawback: they shit all you follow the crowd: Oktoberfest is Unfortunately I will not be able of Germany is that it lost WWII. any other time the rest of southern over the road. When we were on no time to be rebellious. My room- to enjoy the full Oktoberfest experi- They think "polka" means a dress Ontario notices K-W? parade we weren't allowed to move mate and I discovered this when we ence as I have a midterm Saturday covered in dots, Onkle Hans is a pre- The benefits to local businesses for anything. If there was a big were two of three people to buy morning. So on Thursday night cursor to the pumpkin-head people are enormous. Local clubs that nor- mound of manure in your way, tickets for celebrations at while you are all celebrating I will of Halloween, sauerkraut should be mally have trouble drawing flies (pardon the pun) tough shit. The sit- Seagram's. Then invite everyone be handcuffed to my desk. Maybe eaten like cole slaw, and the people become hotspots for one night (see uation was exacerbated by groups you know from home. The law of someone will throw a beer bottle singing "ein prosit, ein prosit" in the The Twist). The parade is always ofsadistic onlookers (usually univer- averages (which technically doesn't through my window just to remind parade are really singing "I'm packed with spectators who snap sity students) who cheered as each exist as my BU 255 profhas indicat- me the party is still going. frozen, I'm frozen." up Oktoberfest sausage and all the person stepped in the poo. ed) says that for every 1000 people Disclaimer: The Cord does not con- Most of the people who come to crappy memorabilia they can find. While none of this may appear you invite one will come... maybe. done acts ofvandalism or violence. Oktoberfest do so for one reason - to A personal anecdote about the to have anything to do with my Now that you've spent an obscene So if a riot breaks out somewhere get drunk. parade - I played clarinet in the argument it does, in a roundabout amount of money on a ticket, go to it's not our fault. If aliens abduct Believe it or not, Oktoberfest Burlington Teen Tour Band so I was way. Oktoberfest was also one ofthe the liquor/beer store and spend you it's not ourfault either. Turkey Bag O' Crime

Dangerous Driving premises when he was evicted 1420 hrsMon 02 Oct 95 from the Turret. # Officers investigated a report of an Indecent Act BUCKSJECKET individual driving in an erratic 0140 hrsThu 05 Oct 95 manner. The individual was iden- A male WLU student was tified and the matter has been put observed urinating on the lower before the DAC. windows of the dining hall atrium Harassment in full view of a custodian eating 1220 hrsTue 03 Oct 95 his lunch and several individuals A complaint of harassment has walking by. The matter has been been investigated by the Security forwarded to the DAC. Department. The incident arose Mischief from a terminated relationship 0155 hrs Fri Oct 95 and both parties were inter- An officer investigated a broken viewed. A resolution has been window at the Student Union arrived at which is satisfactory to Building. The matter has been for- both parties. warded to the DAC. Mischief Mischief 1100 hrsTueo3 Oct 95 0300 hrs Fri 06 Oct 95 A complaint was received with Person(s) unknown broke the gate regard to an incident whereby arm at lot 20. party participants urinated into Unauthorized Soliciting containers and onto equipment at 1520 hrs Fri Oct 95 an archeological site on the north A report was received of someone I Information Session | side of Lucinda House. The hosts approaching people in the Science of the party have been spoken to Building selling some sort of prod- and requested to monitor their uct. Officers checked the area but DATE: October 18, 1995 guests. the individual could not be locat- Trespass ed. TIME: 5:30 - 7:00 p.m. 2344 hrs Wed 04 Oct 95 A non WLU male was charged for During the period Oct 02 - Oct 08, LOCATION: Paul Martin Centre failing to leave the premises when two warnings were issued for directed after refusing to leave the liquor violations.

4 October 12,1995 theCord —(News) Tenants can't break a lease

132% rent increase. Terry would that the Maximum Allowable Rent information, Terry is ready to make hate to have to return his text books, should be indicated in his lease Larry grovel at his feet, and beg for so he decides to investigate the agreement. forgiveness. However, we must legality ofthis rent increase. Terry finds out that the maxi- remind Terry that he will likely get Here's what Terry should know: mum rent for his unit is $350 a better results ifhe approaches Larry 1. Larry must notify Terry of the month. As far as Terry is concerned, in a mature, business-like manner. rent increase 90 days before it this is $325 too much, and he won- Rent control is a fairly complex, takes effect; ders if there is any way to get his often neglected area of landlord-ten- "Is this Legal?" 2. This rent increase must be not rent reduced. Surprisingly enough, ant relations. more than a certain percentage, there is: applications for a rent For a complete explanation of Advice from Leqal Resources known as the Guideline reduction can be made if the costs of your lease options and the regula- Percentage Rate. That Rate is running the unit have decreased, or tions surrounding rent control, drop JASON BILODEAU many of the obligations outlined in 2.9% for 1995 and 2.8% for 1996; ifthe building has not been properly by the Legal Resource Centre on the Students' Union AND STEVEN HUNWICKS the lease and the house is a total 3. In certain circumstances, the rate maintained. third floor of the LEGAL RESOURCE COUNSELORS disaster, the lease is still a legally increase can exceed the Guideline Armed with this wealth of new Building. This column follows the exploits of binding contract. Larry can sue Rate. A landlord may have made Terry Tenant, and Larry Landlord, Terry for the remainder ofthe year's substantial improvements to a and is intended to answer common rent ifTerry takes off. housing unit, or there may have questions on legal issues ofrele- Many ofTerry's friends have told been significant increases in the vance to students at WLU. The him that he can legally get out of his cost of taxes or services (such as advice given is in no way intended lease by providing 2 months' notice heat, hydro, and water utilities). as a substituteforprofessional legal to Larry. Terry's friends are wrong: Larry Landlord must make an advice. Terry is responsible for all 12 application to the Ontario Ministry After only a few weeks, Terry is monthly rent payments. The only of Housing for this type of fed up with living in his hell-hole. options Terry has are: (1) subletting, increase, and the actual increase He's found a greatapartment with 3 or (2) negotiating termination with cannot exceed the Guideline Rate Jacuzzis, a swimming pool, and a Larry Landlord, using the form he by more than 3%; weight room. It's only another $25 got from the Legal Resource Centre. 4. If Terry is currently paying less per month, and Terry wants to Of course, no one in their right than the Maximum Allowable move out at the end of this month. mind would agree to sublet Terry's Rent, Larry can increase the rent Culture He figures that since Larry isn't hell-hole, and since Larry's a WLU charge to the maximum level, abiding by the lease, he shouldn't Business grad, he just laughed at then add the Guideline Rate have to either. the thought of giving up a penny of increase. Shock The problem is that he has rent income. So it appears that Terry wonders, "So what the hell signed a 1 year lease with Larry Terry is stuck with this lease. is my Maximum Allowable Rent, ERIC HENRY introduced to a smiling face and is Landlord, and it is impossible for Terry's student budget is anyway?" To find this out, Terry Cord News given a phone number that usually nearest laun- Terry to "break" the lease. Despite stretched to the limit. Larry must call the Rent Control Office. I spent much of the Thanksgiving connects you to the the fact that Larry hasn't fulfilled Landlord is proposing a modest Another thing Terry should know is weekend mulling over cold turkey dromat instead of the answers to sandwiches and contemplating my the questions you had about the year of fieldwork among my col- mid-term. There are rumours that

leagues in Arts. Having taken they do all the marking ... but then Anthropology, Archaeology, what do the profs do with all that Sociology, History and even a spare time on their hands? man, shot Classics lecture from the Arts mentors, the professors, are get Simpson, oddly dusty eccentric. Hey Dr. I feel 1 am and often indomitable qualified to call myself an Arts stu- They had a passion for answering Health Services offering vaccine dent. But one of the accepted reali- their own questions in class and a flu ties of Anthropology is that the distinct preference for jeans and hardest culture to study is your other casual clothing. In TOM HRUBES hemoglobinopathy. side effects are possible including own. All I can hope to do is offer Archaeology, this means that if it's Cord News • Children and adolescents (age 6 redness and soreness at the sate of some small insights into the culture good enough for digging ancient Just in case you haven't noticed the months -18 years) treated for long injection for 1-2 days. Some people ofArts students. stuff up, it's good enough to wear to cough hacking out of your lungs, It's periods with acetyisalicyfc acid develop "flu like symptoms" 6-12 First, the Arts culture is not as class. flu season again. This year Health The vaccine is also available to hours after injection and they may close-knit as others, owing to the However, I sometimes get the Services is once again distributing people without any of these medical last 24 to 48 hours. fact that the number of "Arts" feeling we Artsies are a little out of the influenza (flu) immunization conditions for a charge of $5. For Health Services will be offering departments is counted in the date. Informants in Audio-Visual tell vaccine to students. The vaccine is those who didn't opt out of the the shots until their supply of vac- dozens. Finding people in your me that Arts professors make the free for: Student's Union Health Plan the cine runs out, "hopefullyby the end major isn't as simple as just attend- greatest use of those antiquated sacks of • Adults and children with chron- charge is $1. of November" said Doreen Koenig ing class. Of course, each depart- projectors that sound like ic cardiac cr pulmonary disorders. According to a press release of Health Services. Koenig also ment has its own club or society bones being dragged up a stairwell. • Adults and children with chron- from the Ministry ofHealth the vac- strongly recommends the shot even (not that the people in it will be in I would also bet we use the most ic conditions such as diabetes and cine will protect 8 out of 10 people fix- "healthy" students and especial- your major either), so finding your pounds of chalk per student in the other metabolic diseases, cancer, who receive it it takes two weeks ly for athletes. Students who wish niche just takes some effort and a school. immunodeficiency (including HTV for the vaccine tobecome effective. to receive the immunization should schedule with no night classes. Classes themselves, more often infection), immunosuppression Flu vaccine cannot cause the flu make an appointment with Health The first question asked by most than not, turn into intellectual argu- (including that of transplant recipi- since it is a non-infectious, killed Services. Arts students is "Where's my ments without notice. Though often ents), renal disease, anemia, and virus preparation. However some lounge?" Every department has a vicious, these discussions require a

lounge - finding it is another matter. sharp mind more than a set of This could be harder than it sounds, brass knuckles. The objective is to "———— r—— because Arts students proliferate all say as much as you can without over campus, from Regina Street to ever admitting, "Uh, gee, I never stm & UL'S I (tr-on the Library. My lounge is tucked thought ofthat," even once. away in a corner somewhere on the However, I am told that no fifth floor of the CTB. anthropological report would be OOZEATEUY | About half-way through the complete without in-depth analysis term, the second question Arts stu- of the drinking habits of the culture dents have comes up: "Where's my in question. We drink, and we like TA?" We all know we have them, it. What else can I say? but what exactly do they do? This article is part two of a weekly Certificate During the first lecture, the class is series. Buy 1 Entree for the regular price and receive $5.00 ¥ off the second entree. J STAN & UL'S NO POLKA... A OOZEATEBY A Greek Dining 255 St. N Waterloo Experience Suited to j Canadian Lifestyles 886-4694 i Valid days a week from Open 'til 3 am Thurs. - Sat. I 7 4 p.m.

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The Bookstore and Purple & Gold, in conjunction with the Food Court, are offering a discount off same date purchases of all regularly priced merchandise*. Just visit the Food Court, then take your food receipt the same day to the Bookstore or Purple & Gold to receive a discount equal to the value of your food purchase (to a maximum of 20% off retail).

*Note: Textbooks, course packages, computer software, jewellery and special orders exempt. Not valid with any other Bookstore or Purple & Gold specials. No cash value.

Offer expires October 31, 1995.

HH | Food Thought SH *- for Also, while in the Food Court, pick up your Domino's Pizza, Food For I Thought pasta, and coffee cards. Buy 9 pizzas or pastas and the 10th is on us! i

6 October 12,1995 theCord INTERNATIONAL The Crypt Lake triathlon MATT JACKSON berries ofwhich provide a tangy and CORD INTERNATIONAL tasty tickle to one's tongue for those "Watch out for bears", the launch that know of their edible nature. captain reminded us as I, along with Indeed, it is easy to see why bears my friends Paul and Maria, and choose such a delectable spot for about fifteen other eager hikers their ownrecreational activities. climbed from the SS Waterton shut- Due to the rather large popula- tle boat onto dry ground. He contin- tions of bears that frequent the ued: "Sometimes they'll follow you Crypt Lake region, the captain of the right up the trail hoping that you'll shuttle boat had warned eveyone ditch your lunch at their feet". aboard that hiking along in large Oh great! All we needed was a groups would be much safer, thus four hundred pound fuzzball decreasing our chances of any ugly aggressively making dibs for our human-bear confrontations. prized roast beefand mustard sand- Convinced, everybody had entered wiches. The sandwich I had pur- onto the trail marching along in mil- chased in Waterton townsite a half- itary fashion, one behind the other. hour earlier was mine, and I was Although safer, this formation did prepared to defend it with steadfast, not allow for a true wilderness expe- JACKSON if otherwise somewhat ludicrous, rience by any stretch ofthe imagina- certainty. tion. MATT Yet there were other things to Two German girls walking ahead consider. Our present location: the of us had "bear bells" attached to renowned Crypt Lake trailhead their wrists. These bells, although PICTURE: within Waterton Lakes National designed to warn bears of The Crypt Lake trail, located in Alberta's Waterton National Park, provides some of the best hiking this Park, Alberta. The intended recre- approaching humans, proved useful continent has to offer. ation: a fifteen minute boat cruise more for annoying fellow hikers. across the whitecaps of Upper After some time, the excess jingling pouring artistically from an over- pretty little bottle-green tarn cradled country. Amazingly enough, the bor- Waterton Lake to reach the trail- and jangling had me hallucinating hanging lip of multi-coloured pre- within a magnificent hanging valley, der to the United States lies precisely head, an eight kilometre hike up nightmarish visions of Santa Claus cambrian rock. As we continued up the lake is witness to steep and at the southern end of the lake. We hell-roaring canyon past numerous descending from the heavens to run the valley, even more spectacular craggy cliffs rising hundreds of feet would not, however, be doing any spectacular waterfalls, a twenty over us with his sleigh. was Crypt Falls, cascading roughly above it in all directions, except for cross-border shopping on this visit, metre crawl through a natural (but Consequently, the three of us decid- down over several hundred feet of the direction of approach. and their would be no questions expanded) rock tunnel, and finally a ed to take our chances with the vertical limestone at the terminus of After the long and laborious asked, save for some inquiring good hour of soaking up some fabu- large fuzzy omnivores, and stopped hell-roaring canyon. approach up the valley, the three of stares from a chipmunk or two. lous Canadian Rockies' sunshine at for a snack break, allowing the oth- It is here, at the side of these us proved more than ready to relax. From here it was time to return the shores of Crypt Lake itself, our ers to pass from earshot. magnificent falls, that the trail pass- Hence we settled at the tip of a to the boat dock on Upper Waterton intended final destination. Not to After a time, the three of us con- es through the twenty metre rock rocky point to eat our lunch. As the Lake. The trail proved much more mention anything about our snack- tinued on our way, enjoying the tunnel, allowing only those of slen- roast beef slithered across my palate forgiving on the return trip - for it is ing on roast beef sandwiches. bright sun and wide expanse of der girth easy passage onwards. I pulled from my backpack the cam- always easier to lose elevation than The trail began innocently bright blue sky above us. Indeed, the This tunnel in turn empties onto a era I had brought with me. There to gain it. In one location we stopped enough as it gently switchbacked its weather gods had been kind to us. narrow ledge system (with a wire was much visual dessert to record to soak our heads in a small stream way up through healthy stands of Not a single tuft of cumulus fluff hand cable for those of less sure on film after I was through with the of champagne mountain water, for lodgepole pine, white spruce and could be seen across the horizon. footing to grasp) which ultimately main course. the day was still hot, and the trail Douglas fir. Beneath this thick Soon we found ourselves near leads hikers the final distance to Meanwhile, Paul and Maria had still dusty. Beside the stream color- canopy of foliage lie mass popula- the base of Burnt Rock Falls, a gen- Crypt Lake. removed their boots and were busy ful orange butterflies danced around tions of thimbleberry brush, the tle stream of pure mountain liquid Crypt Lake is no anti-climax. A soaking their feet in the cool waters our weary bodies on a wispy moun- of the Crypt. All around us, despite tain breeze. the heat of the day, rainbow trout Shortly thereafter we even got to surfaced to feed on any misguided see our bear. Or I should say Maria insects that had landed on the sur- got to see our bear. There it sat per- face of the lake. Thus began a haps ten feet from the trail, watch- guessing game between Paul and ing us non-chalantly as we passed kmm Jrt il lidl J Maria as to which bug would be by- devoured next. So non-chalantly in fact, that After lunch, and a relaxing half- Paul and I missed seeing it all ON ALL hour of soaking up the sun with my together, and it was not until later hat drawn across my face, the three that Maria told us what we had & of us gathered our belongings to missed. In some inexplicable way FALL WINTER begin the long return trip. Prior to Paul and I felt cheated, for it would our leaving, however, one other have been rather exciting to see a quick jaunt was necessary: a hike to bear under those particular circum- the back of Crypt Lake where we stances. With no roast beef in our INVENTORY would, of all things, visit another backpacks. Does not include Far West insulated coats.

ffgfifcfj- . The Cord Guide is coming. j ■ Non-insulated shells. (Also available in tall sizes.) 112 ■ Wool, Canvas & Fleece Coats. Be afraid. ■ Cambridge cotton skirts, blouses, sweatersjeans & jean shirts.

" Large selection of men's Point-Zero shirts & sweaters.

*Offer expires October 21, 1995.

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theCord October 12,1995 7 OPINION

Editorial the When the statistic has a face Statistics; to most people they're just numbers on a piece of paper. Boring, useless bits of information that make those monotone newscasters just that much more bland. Who cares how many people watch game shows, what percentage of the population are abused or how many women are sexually harassed? cord I can honestly say that at one point it didn't mean that much to me. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. All those commercials on TV. All those ads focusing on pure shock value. It all seemed so separate from my life; until last summer. I was living and working in Ottawa. It was a new place. A different place. Plus I was given the opportunity to see some ofmy closest friends who had recently moved to the Nation's Capital. Amongst this group was the sister ofmy best friend. She was attending university there and was doing the traditional summer job search. As the summer melted away I kept in touch with her. You see, I was close to my friend's family and since she was my friend's A Laurier University Student Publication Wilfrid younger sister the group of us always felt a certain obligation. night the city just 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 One day she called me asking if we could go out. It was a great summer in so we decided to (519) 884-1970 ext. 3829 wander around the neighbourhood. However, unknown to me the warm breezes had been cooled by a frightening Fax: (519)884-5596 reality. What she was to tellme that evening would change the way I thought about alot of things, forever. Advertising: (519) 884-5192 Her story began with her job. She was working for a small company, in what seemed to be a normal business environment Except for one difference; she was being sexually harassed. Look, a statistic. A victim. A friend. The sketchy details she shared with me were shocking, demoralizing, disgusting. She had come to me because "If God didn't want man to cover sporting events, he she thought that her family wouldn't understand. She was afraid and contused. In an attempt to reach for help she wouldn't have given us whiskey and airplanes." had told her manager about the incident but she had been drinking the night before to vent her frustration. - Dan Jenkins Needless to say he didn't take her complaint seriously. His pathetic reply was only a suggestion for her not to men- tion the incident to the other female employee. The matter for him was closed. This miserable excuse for aid was more intimidation for her. She knew she couldn't face her assailant and even Editorial Board worse he sat only a few metres away at another desk. For her it was like watching a guilty man being set free. In Editor-in-Chief Scott Stinson this office she was a silent victim. That night I saw a side of this girl 1 had never seen before. Her enthusiasm, her confidence had faded. She was News Editor Kathy Cawsey lost and frightened, but not alone. She had done what so few do when confronted with such a horrific experience; Associate News Editor Tom Hrubes she reached out for help. Entertainment Editor Melanie Seal Unlike those "made for TV" movies I can't really say this story has a happy ending. I will tell you that after she Assistant Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter had the chance to sort things out a bit she did make her boss listen and take what she had to say seriously. I left Sports Editor Pete Robinson Ottawa before I had the chance to speak to her again, but I did receive a brief message which read, "Everything at Assistant Sports Editor Libbi Hood work is alright now!". I only wish that there were more messages out there like that one and fewer statistics. Features Editor David Popovich Editorial by David Popovich, Features Editor Production Manager JeremyKerr The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those ofthe CordStaff, the edito- rial board or WilfridLaurier University Student Publications. Cord Staff Production Assistants Imaan Barnard in mail that is already sent out by the Union) and the Cotteen Nicholson insurance underwriters can be informed of exact num- Tina Tarn bers before the fall term begins. Alternatively, students Classified Coordinator Christine Romeo could opt-in within the first few weeks of school (similar Circulation and Filing Vacant to the current opt-out process). A combination of the Copy Editor Ameena Ahsan two could also be employed. International Coordinator Lilian Schaer Letters Mr. Ross also claims that less people (%) opted out Student Publications this year due to excellent coverage, fair prices and the Staff To the Editor new Laurier Village Pharmacy on campus. Does he Photo Manager Marion Hensel proof such claims could Photo Kinzinger have of (via surveys, etc.)? I be Technician Phill wrong, but I do not think that many students actually Art Director Andrew White know how good or poor the coverage is. don't. Systems Administrator Vacant I Opt-out not so great Furthermore, I would like to see statistics for the past Relations Manager Vacant Public two years on how many students had alternative cover- Advertising Manager Tracev Bowers Representatives Dear Editor, age before I believe fair prices were a reason for less Ad Sales Rob Tfornick This leter is in response to the letter written by Brad opt outs. Ad Production Manager DaveKerth Ad Production Assistants Shannon Dowds Ross last issue in which he supports the health plan's There are numerous students I know that did not opt-out process. opt out because they couldn't get proof of alternative Vacant Initially, he provides information regarding the refer- coverage (eg. couldn't get home to obtain a copy). There Vacant endum voted favour an Treasurer Jamie Hill wherein the students body in of are also those, like myself, who have already paid my opt-out style of extended health plan. In this referen- entire costs to the university. This means I must go with- dum, however, there was no option to vote for an opt-in out the use of the money that went towards the health Board ofDirectors of plan. Oh, bui right, an "opt-in President Susan Barry style that's process is plan for "approximately six weeks" and then the onus is not a viable option." Why not? Mr Ross reasons that an on me to the from the Business Office. And Directors Karen Bula get money if opt-in process would be analogous to telling an auto it's like last year, you don't receive the Ml amount back Harvey Garman Steve Groenveld insurance company you only want to pay if you have an (administration fee). David Janzen Laurie Legault accident. This analysis Lidkea assumes students could opt-in at Problems like these reveal how the Union can be Shayne any time throughout the year and completely omits var- unresponsive to the needs of the students (in this case, ious alternatives for opting out. close to half of them, as Mr. own limited statistics The Cord will not print anything thatis racist, sexist, orhomophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a votine Ross' body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cord For example, students could be contacted in the reveal). My, what a surprise it is that voter turnout is subscription rates are $15.00 per term for addresses within Canada, and $18.00 for outside the country. The Cord summer and asked ifthey want "in" plan or not. the is printed by CanWeb Printing. The Cord is a memberof Canadian University Press. All commentary is strictly the the consistently lowfor Union elections. opinion of the writer and aoes not necessarily reflect those of the Cora staff, the editorial board, or WLU cost of this would be minimal (letters could be included Rob Manger Publications. Copyright © 1994by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3C5. Contributors: Production Paul McLean, Kristi Schilling, Sabrina Saccoccio, Steve FOOT...You know. Hunwicks, Jason Bilodeau, Eric Henry, Connie Hawkins, Jim Donnelly, Matt Lauder, Rob Sdieifley Shortt, Cullen, Nicholls, Cord Scott "Nissan" Joel Feedback Jeff Chris Martin, Laurie Lynn, The Little Peanut, Jason Kalra, Tanya Ventura, Mike Vencel, Conor McCreery, Sean Moore, Selene Macleod, Brad Ross, Lori Dysievick, Anton Volcansek, Chris Rutsey, Where are the comics strips. We Brad Ross Hey! Can the library be free of the Kerrie-Lee Brown, Matt Jackson, Michelle Demeyere, Kristen Schmalz. need comics like Calvin and Hobbes. yellow tape soon? Sydney K. Salmon What happened to Leaf Talk? It has John Huculiak to be the most insightful page of info Corey Grant on the cover 2 weeks in I get every week. That Rob 800 hoo hoo, you have a place to Letters Policy a row. Good shit. All Canadian one McGovern guy really knows how to eat. Grow up peasants, my hands ￿All letters must be signed and submitted with, tie author's name, day. take pictures. Good job J.P.. are all messy too. studentidentification number and telephone number. S. O'Hara. Graham Chrystman Ben Harris ￿All letters will be printed with the author's name. Letters can be

printed without die author's name only by permission of the Editor- Get better prinintg - it rubs off and Where are the book reviews? Shawn Callan? Mr. Myagi? Be in-Chief. you walk around with newsprint on Jason Kalra strong Aaron, carve your own like- ￿Letters must be received by Ibesday at noon for publication in that your hands! ness from the rock offate. week's issue in print, on disk, or via e-mail to: [email protected] H. Reilly Where is the section on what's going Conor McCreeiy • Letters that are submitted on disk or via e-mail must be accompa- on around campus? nied by a signed hard copy. Mel...meanie! Scooter...rocks! Darren Dempsey The paper looks great. No staff • Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 Waterbuffalo toga...cool. meeting, no warm fixzzies? Sad. words. There is a parking appeals commit- Great editorial, Libbi. Thought pro- Sue Barry tee. if you receive a parking ticket voking and touching. will notbe corrected you don't deserve, fill out a petition Virginia Parker Where's the OJ. coverage? form (available from Dean of Chris Rutsey Students' office). Hey Mel. I have an opinion! 886-

8 October 12,1995 theCord —(Opinion) Without Feathers gets violent

ANTON VOLCANSEK the hell is he smiling about? Look, placard a few metres away from us. 'Ten dollars each." all too imperfect egg. That spawn of far WITHOUT FEATHERS mein Heir! Now he's told his Mends "Franz, your aim is impaired," I I counted nine eggs left in the a satanic-spermed cock veered Oktoberfest is here and it started and they're laughing, too." said. "Leave Walter alone. It's a carton. There was ninety dollars to right of Ostanek, just to the right of

- splattered on with a most shameful episode. I craned my neck to see, but polka smile nothing else." be made. Miss Oktoberfest, and Upon learning there would be there was only polka meister Walter Franz would have none ofit. He "You're on," I said. "Ostanek's Premier Mike. of opening ceremonies on Friday, Ostanek and his band strapping on completed two more errant throws overrated anyway." The crowd activists roared. Franz collapsed, laughing. Franz and I made our way down- accordions and guitars. They were into the horde. My initial throw was a beautiful I dropped the carton of eggs, fell town to partake in the festivities. indeed smiling, but when are they "Damn my depth perception!" spiral that hooked too far right. I knees and cried, "Mein Gott, Mayor Christie was on hand, not? he cried. quickly tossed a second that fol- to my have done?" I along with Premier Mike and Miss 'That's Walter Ostanek," I said. "What do you hope to gain from lowed the same trajectory. At this what 1 sobbed Oktoberfest. Also at City Hall was a uncontrollably at the back of the mob of protesters, protesting I sup- crowd for the rest of the keg-tapping pose for such inane things as "jobs", It was blood money, earned through the ceremony. When it was over and "fairness" and "dignity". Whatever. the crowd moved on, Franz pulled them eat cake, I say, as long as me to my feet and slapped a twenty hand. no one messes with my lot. Anyway, desecration of all I hold sacred in politics dollar bill in my classic, mein Herr," I digress. "That was already been he said. "You got Miss Oktoberfest Franz and I had — drinking when we arrived. Actually, loyalty to leadership. I egged my leader. and that prick Premier. Bonus I had a sip of cranberry juice and points!" blood I knew, Franz emptied a jug of Captain "He's always smiling. Don't take it egging Walter Ostanek?" I said. point the crowd reacted and I It was money, of Morgan. personally, Franz. It's sort of a Franz eyed me through his mon- looked up to see why. earned through the desecration I did not want to mingle with the trademark of theirs." ocle, frowned and murmured, "My "I think you hit Miss all I hold sacred in politics - blind riff-raff so we hovered at the I looked to see if Franz under- dignity. Self-respect..." Oktoberfest," Franz said. and mute loyalty to leadership. I perimeter. While waiting for things stood. My manservant was "Is that all?" "How much do I get for that?" egged my leader. What I did is akin to get under way Franz became visi- nowhere to be seen - except maybe "Look, Herr Anton. I know you Franz giggled, "Five bucks." to a Catholic shooting the pope or a bly agitated. in a convenience store. Three min- don't need the money, but if you That's for lunch, I thought. Hindu eating a cow. I accepted the "What's the matter, Franz?" I utes later he returned carrying a throw the eggs and hit Ostanek for I'll never forgive myself for what cash with much self-loathing, as asked. carton of eggs. me I'll pay you for it." happened next. Grammy-winner Walter Ostanek He pointed in the general direc- "I'll show those toothy bastards," "You're right I don't need the My ensuing throw hooked even and his band yodelled "E-I-E-l-E-I- tion of the platform and slurred, he said lobbing one egg in the air. It money," I lied. "How much?" farther right than the previous -0!" long into the night. "That guy's laughing at me. What fell harmlessly on a longhair with a Franz considered this a moment. attempts. That damned egg. That Contemplating the future

KERRIE-LEE BROWN the year, and I already feel as can't help but think, am I really pre- fourth year or graduates for that Although, I am also a person who CORD OPINION though I'm falling behind. I don't pared for the 'real world'?! Are matter. However, I do want to would like to know whether or not As we all know, Thanksgiving Day exactly know what graduate schools you? You may think I'm overexag- address my feelings as a Laurier my aspirations, at the moment, are was on Monday. And almost every- to apply to, what jobs to apply for gerating, but if you think about it - student who is nearing graduation, realistic. one went home for the long week- and so on, and time is slowly slip- there are no guarantees in life and and thus, anticipating the effects of So, remember, in your graduat- end. Some of us for the first time ping away. This is what feels like your so-called 'real life' pretty much the 'real world'. I have always been ing year, strive to do the best that this year. The trip home for mom's the biggest disadvantage of all. starts after graduation (if not a realist with respect to my own you possibly can and success will often unappreciated cooking was Finally, I am at that stage in my life already!). goals and accomplishments, and come your way. And in so doing, long overdue. This, as we all know, where I get to make all of the deci- Nevertheless, in writing this, I do know that with hard work and per- don't ever follow someone else's

- is a usual event for most university sions - yet suddenly, there are too not want to give the wrong impres- severance, I will continue this path -create your own and leave a students. However, to my surprise, many choices and decisions to sion of myself or generalize all towards a successful future. trail behind. my trip home this time presented make. Hopefully I'm not alone in some pretty scary realizations about my thoughts. myself, my life, and my future. I'm Isn't it funny to think that when I in my graduating year. first came to university four years Post-thanksgiving aftermath Thanksgiving is a time to be ago, I actually felt more certain thankful for all of the things we have about what I wanted to do for the CHRIS RUTSEY ter trend of being "Dump the four food groups. Yes. that spe- in our lives and for the people that next four years (get a degree) and Cord Opinion Weekend", especially for frosh. Yes, cial time when you eat real food make our lives so special. In other that someday, somehow, I was going Thanksgiving has always been an eternal love does last until October, thai isn't from a can ora box. Meals words, it is the one day a year that to be successful in life. interesting weekend in many sens- For those of you who experienced that require more than a we are actually 'reminded' that we Unfortunately, now that I'm actually es. If you don't believe me, why is it this, my sincerestregrets, but have microwave to prepare. It is a week- should appreciate all that we have. finishing my degree, in some that both we and the Americans faith. Tills weekend, the Ttoret vvffl end during which we all gorge our- But what about the things we want respects, I feel like I'm back at cant celebrate on die same date? be full of people who are In the selves, and - this is the really good in the future? square one again. I must figure out same boat. part - we get to bring some of the As you will see, Thanksgiving how I'm actually going to become have its own IMe rituals for univer- Thanksgiving is also a great edible gold back to school for con- was a bit different for me this year. that success in life. Because isn't sity students. I woukfve exploded if chance to suck some more cash off sumption at a later date. One short- Of course, I am still very thankful for that what we're expected to be? Fd heard one more person say how the parents. My favourite tactic is to coming, however is that all of your all of those in my life, and all of the Successful? good it was going to be to see their tell them you had to spend more roommates do the same, so your things I have. But, a great turkey Isn't it terrifying to think that dog. "1 miss him so much", they say. money on books than you thought fridge looks like a turkey exploded dinner with all of the trimmings was because we are university graduates What's the big deal? I have a dog, you would. Little do they know that in it. not all that I had on my mind. Like we are 'supposed' to be successful. but 1 dont miss it and it doesn't miss you haven't even bought most of So another Thanksgiving has many others, I'm sure, I was also Wouldn't it be nice iflife was so sim- me. Actually, ray dog is just plain your books and that check they passed and midterms loom. There reminded about what stage of my ple? All I can say is that most, if not dumb and it probably doesn't even gave you is to finance your upcom- is nothing to do but look at pictures life I'm in. all, of us want to be successful and notice that I'm gone. For all 1 know ing Oktoberfest weekend. of your dog, cash that check, hit the Needless to say, being in fourth this is where our personal efforts It thinks the chair in the living room But of course, the real reason Turret and ask that other recently year has its advantages and disad- come into play. A useful education is me. Thankssving is so special to univer- single person back to your place for vantages. I mean, I think most of us is more than just a couple ofyears of Thanksgiving is also a time sity students is

theConf October 12,1995 9 FEATURE TheRevolution: Green Overthrownovergrown? or In a worldplagued by war,famine and overpopulation the last thing we have time to worry about is our disintegrating environment... or is it. This week CordFeaturesfocuses on planetary housekeeping and what we human tenants are doing in the way ofcleaning up our mess. It ain't easy staying green

MICHELLE DEMEYERE Forests in Amazonia are still disappearing the green movement. Back when I was eigh- get their heartfelt ecological promises along Cord features at the alarming rate ofP.E.I, sized areas every teen and naive, I voted the NDP into power with their other job creation or lower taxation Once upon a time there was a great awaken- day. Greenhouse gases are what environmen- because of their green platform. Myself and pitches. ing of the people across the nation. Suddenly, tal activists would put at the top of their hit list many others soon realized giving over author- The point is, although there may be more there were calls of protest against blackened as scientists continue to call carbon dioxide ity and responsibility for environmental action awareness and legislation as a product of the rivers and acid lakes, against smoggy cities emissions dangerous. to politicians is a fatal mistake. Politicians are 1980's, there is very little enforcement or real and depleting dolphins. The environmental Oceans are drastically emptying as evi- politicians and not environmentalists. They change of habits. The movement must be stir became a national movement and the denced by Canada's own fishing boundary dis- often ride the green movement to get popular- taken from the hands of politicians and put world had become everyone's responsibility. putes and fishing moratoriums. The ever ity votes into government and once there for- back into the hands of activists and the people. Greenpeace was on the news reporting panda growing world population has caused world bear statistics, politicians were planting trees power consumption to skyrocket in the past and parents were dutifully packing their kids' years. In order to keep up with the demand, recyclable lunches. There was concern, there projects such as the Narmada Dam in India was response, there was hope but most of all and the James Bay project in Quebec are in there was movement. What happened? the works, the building of which would flood It would seem the green crusade has taken vast areas and displace hundreds of thou- a backseat. Instead, the national responsibili- sands of people. ty ofthe planet has been replaced by a return- Unfortunately, these remaining issues of ing precedence to the deficit, unemployment carbon dioxide emissions and tropical rain and welfare cuts. Ironically, some claim it is forest disappearances are often far away and the initial success of the green movement, at intangible problems. Unless we have dramatic its height in the late eighties, that has quieted problems staring us in our faces a sense ofcri- the fervour. sis and movement will not take hold. One of The weekly bluebox pick-ups, the sale of the most momentous and high profile interna- lead-free gasoline, quick oil spill clean-ups, tional environmental conferences in Berlin and government regulations on everything this year concluded with a consensus to reach from industry's levels of toxic emissions to an agreement on the state of the environ- hunting quotas are seen to have come to the ment... in the future. rescue of our beloved environment. Even the The other major problem lies in politicizing HENSEL fashion industry responded with a faux pas against real fur. No more need for alarmist The recycling kick of the past few years should MARION rhetoric and public outcries, right? Wrong. have been the beginning, not the end. PICTURE:

Learning the three R's

ble goal considering the 1992 waste Rohrer's argument is inresponse evident in the beginning of the year. ness will be reviewed by Physical KRISTEN SCHMALZ audit which states that WLU had to a sign in the dining hall that "The first month is usually so Plant and Planning before midterms Cord Features reduced its waste production by 25 reads, "When there are no bins busy that the bins tend to get filled and a final decision by the end ofthe of Many us on campus agree that per cent. A 50 per cent reduction in please throw cans/bottles in very quickly". year. recycling idea, waste prospect is a good but the is an exciting for garbage" He points out however that he In the meantime, here are some question being raised by a number many students like Alia Ahmed who "I think that's the wrong way to also finds bins close by that are tips from Physical Plant and of students is, "Are we doing believe that recycling is a great way go about recycling," he says "If we nearly empty. If students are really Planning: enough?" The five year oldrecycling to help environment the really want to reduce waste on cam- concerned, they should find another 1. Recyclables must be sorted by program at WLU started out with "We are constantly destroying pus, then we should make an effort bin if the first one that they go to is type and placed in the appropri- environment," the recycling of fine paper and has the she says"and ate receptacles. grown to include glass, cans and recycling is a way to slightly repair 2. The presence of garbage in a newspapers. this. I'm not saying that recycling is Our aim is to reduce wast#' recycling container will result in Presently under the direction of a way to prob- completely solve our the whole container being Ron Dupuis Physical Plant and but of lems it is something that every- dumped as garbage. It is unsafe Planning, the recycling program at one can do. One person can make a by 50 per cent for custodians to sort through WLU is now very visible. It is virtual- big difference." either garbage or recyclables. impossible to on First ly go anywhere year business student Jeff 3. Empty cardboard boxes should campus without spotting the famil- Rohrer also considers recycling an to recycle as much as possible. The full. be flattened and placed where the iar large blue bins urging us to recy- important way to protect the envi- bins need to be emptied more often "Most students do recycle when custodians can collect them. cle. ronment, however he is critical of so that recycling is always an option they are in the dining hall", says 4. If you placed recyclables on win- All this emphasis on being "green" is the fact that recycling bins (in the for us." Meston, "it is something that they dow ledges, stairways, shelves etc. partly because of a goal which has dining hall) are often full and stu- In response to this statement, really respond well to." rather than in appropriate con- been set by the provincial govern- dents are expected to throw recy- Geoff a Meston, shipper and receiv- So will the new recycling bins tainers, you have not recycled, but ment. Our aim is to reduce waste by clables in the garbage when chat is er in the dining hall agrees that this become a permanent addition to the rather littered. 50 per cent, which is not an impossi- the case. is a problem but one that is most Laurier landscape? Their effective-

10 October 12,1995 theCord -{Feature) Saving our own lives... for once.

recycling; probably the strongest it possible that people are actually push to save the planets natural beginning to care about the planet resources through using what we've they they're using and abusing? I used before. Just think after five guess when you're told that if years you've probably guzzled out of changes don't begin now, then with- a pop can made from a recycled in 50 years the global damage will nuclear reactor! Lucky you! I must become irreversible. It certainly admit this is probably the most makes me stop and think! incredibly intelligent thing the gov- Naturally, our own cultural con- ernment has ever done in our life- straints have slowed down the time. Obviously an error of some progress of our environmental type on their part. clean-up. Unfortunately, Ford's Well, from there our environ- great invention still roams the mental awareness increased, as did motorways like packs of wild dogs our environmental problems. and the notion of carpooling has Recycling was a step to save what become only moderately appealing. we took out of the ground, but our At least auto manufacturers are newest concern focused on what we designing more environmentally had lost from the sky. We had friendly machines. always known that the industrial Even though recycling is a HENSEL revolution had done really nasty favourable necessity, littering is still things to the planet's ceiling, but quite popular. Another problem is MARION unbeknownst the happy go lucky that there are very few countries people of the past three decades all which can pursue and maintain that concrete bee-hive hair care these programs primarily due to PICTURE: spray was chewing away at the rest their political or economic struc- The trademark sign of the Green Revolution, the trusty recycling bin. Perhaps the brighest move a gov- of the atmospheric plaster. Now, the tures. Third World nations have ernment is ever going to make. Earth had an unwanted sunroofand great difficulty considering environ- theories like the Green House Effect mental issues when large corpora- mentally friendly band wagon. almost too good to eat soaps in the were becoming a bit too real. So, tions exploit their resources and DAVID POPOVICH What, nasty people out to make shape of your favourite endangered doing a little detective work we population because of such lax Cord Features money from such a "just cause" as species. Meanwhile McDonalds did found that aerosols were every- international laws and policies. "Captain Planet, he's our hero; saving our planet? Couldn't be! Of the "right" thing and decided to where from handy dandy spray So, now it's time not only that the goingto take pollution down to course back then it seemed that the switched from Big Mac foam cattle cans to air conditioners and refrig- economically strong countries zero." Green Revolution was more of a boxes to little circular cardboard erators. Now, all of the things that (Canada included) set an example It wasn't too long ago that an trend, then an actual movement. corrals. It was more money and pol- made our culture what it is, which and clean up our act and try to use aqua haired superhero with tights to The Body Shop seemed to be "the" itics, but it started the green ball was basically commercially conve- the persuasive power we have for match appeared on TV preaching, place to hang and any McDonald's rolling. nient, had become a danger to our "good". It sounds cheesy, however what I like to call enviro-morality, to styrofoam seemed to be "the" thing In the meantime, several munici- lives. countries such as ours have not only kids and parents everywhere. Back to protest. pal governments (Waterloo region Amazingly, these concerns have a responsibility, but an obligation to then I always had the sneaking sus- However, the BS turned out to be being the first) had unveiled their been met with remarkable mea- assist other countries in this global picion that this guy was justanother a nineties version of the Groovy latest and greatest creation; Project: sures over just a few short years. Is house cleaning. free loader jumping the environ- Kingdom Nature Hive juiced up with Blue Box! This was the dawn of

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theCord October 12,1995 11 SPORTS Laurier all over Mac McDonald scores two TDs and throwsfor two

anything the sloppy surface of Les The League Prince field helped Mac on Saturday. The pkyofis' matchup are starting Had it been played on the Astroturf to take shape across the league of Ivor Wynne Stadium on after Week 5 actbcu Laurier needs Thursday, as originally planned, the to win two oftheir last three games huge gap in talent and speed to clinch first and home field between die two teams could have throughout the playoffs. That is been even worse. The field condi- almost a certainty with two ofthose tion may have had as much to do three games coming against Mac with the Marauders holding it so and Windsor. Like Laurier, Western close for most of the first half as is virtually assured their current anything. spotin the standings as well. Head Coach Rick Zmich was After Toronto's victory against pleased with the effort of his York last Thursday they will likely charges on Saturday. "It was a good land the fourth place spotand take win under some trying conditions," on laurier in the first round of the he said, referring to the reschedul- playoffs. Regardless of who wins ing and the muddy field. this weekend, Waterloo is likely to Looking ahead the Hawks will finish third, raising the specter of take on Waterloo in the annual an interesting matchup between ROBINSON Waterloo on Saturday. them and Western at London in the Battle of PETE Waterloo has looked good in the firstround. past three weeks and should be a good test. "It should be a close emo- National Rankings PICTURE: tional battle," said Zmich. 1 LAURIER Laurier Kevin MacDonald had another strong throwing for two touchdown quarterback (17) outing, "We want to try and win the bat- 2. WESTERN passes while running for another two. Jp tle on the line ofscrimmage." 3. Calgary Jfjll PETE ROBINSON Ryan Hume pass and returned it to Laurier rounded out their scor- It is there that the tone for the 4. Ottawa Cord Sports the Mac 14 yard line. On the next ing on the first possession ofthe sec- game will be set. Waterloo has a 5. Saskactewan The faces may have changed but play Kevin McDonald hit Brian ond half, when Peter Hwang took a bonafide duo threat coming out of 6. St. EX Laurier s football team can still put McCIUTe in the corner of the end- pitch from McDonald and scored the backfield in TB Jarrett Smith 7. Acadia points on the board in a hurry; just zone and the rout was on. from a yard out. Originally and FB Mike Mallot. Many people 8. ÜBC ask the McMaster Marauders. Special teams contributed on the McDonald tried to score but was thought last year that Waterloo; had 9. Waterloo The Golden Hawks exploded for next series when Dino DiMarino stopped short, he then pitched the they replaced the ineffective Mike 10. Conctrdia 28 points in just under four minutes blocked Mac punter Doug Thimble's ball to Hwang who plunged over the Son with Smith, could have gotten in a 42-13 win over Mac on the punt and J.P. Small recovered on the goal line. past Laurier in last year's thrilling Standings weekend. The offensive explosion, one. McDonald scored on the next McDonald scored Laurier's first Yates Cup semi-final, that Laurier CP W L P characteristic of years past, came play when he took it over on a sneak touchdown ofthe day late in the first eventually won in overtime. Laurfer 5 5 0 10 after Mac's defense had held off the to make the score 28-7. quarter when he bootlegged into the Another interesting battle should Western 5 4 1 8 Golden Hawks for almost the entire If that weren't enough, Laurier's endzone from a couple ofyards out. take place between the tough Toronto 5 3 2 6 first half. defense held on the next Mac series Hume and Josh Sherwood Waterloo defense and Laurier's Waterloo 5 3 2 6 With the score tied 7-7 and just and a Corey Grant 63 yard punt scored TD's for McMaster. offense. Both sides have lost some over three minutes left in the half, return gave Laurier the ball on The game was rescheduled for key people but have looked good so McMaster 5 2 3 4 Andy Bacon put Laurier up for good Mac's 21. This time it was Andrew Saturday after the storm that hit far this year. York 5 2 3 4 when he scored from a yard out. Scharschmidt that hauled in a southern Ontario Thursday forced Windsor 5 1 4 2 Mac still had a fighting chance McDonald TD pass and all of a sud- the cancellation of the originally Game time is 2:00 Saturday. Guelph 5 0 5 0 until Robbie Symons picked off a den it was 35-7. scheduled time, Thursday night. If Turek and Pounder set to take women to new level

LIBBI HOOD second youngest player on the team to the Hawks, along with first year clinic for female players and a skate Laurier's Women's Hockey program Cord Sports and the youngest blueliner. goalie Charmaine Boteju of Victoria, for Big Sisters. is poised to make the jump to the A rookie who played defense for the Both Pounder and Turek begin B.C. and first year center Jennifer Overall it looks as though next level this season. World Champion Women's team their quest for the Olypmics in mid- Krog from Fermier, B.C. Krog was and a returning second year player October with a week long evaluation the captain of Team B.C. for the who won the OWIAA scoring title in camp in Orangeville. The team dis- Canada Games. The Hawks also her first year. Sounds like a pretty solves after each World return 10 players from last year's good place to start for Laurier's Championship year so Pounder has squad, including Tlirek. Women's Hockey team's second sea- to start all over in an extremely tal- Last year the Hawks finished son. ented pool of players. third in OWIAA play, behind Guelph Cheryl Pounder, 19 from "It's going to be really, really and U of T. This was an impressive Mississauga, played for the National tough," said Pounder of the Olympic season for a team of only eleven team last year which won the World tryouts. skaters in its inaugural season. Championship. The process oftryouts is different Thompson believes the team is "def- Amy TUrek, a 20 year old from than in previous years, when the initely a threat this year," with a full Caistor Centre is the returning cap- first three were open to any player. squad of 19 players. tain and leading scorer for Laurier's This year the pool of 50 potential In keeping with the high caliber women's hockey team. TUrek also team members will be watched over of new talent on the team, the was co-winner of the OWIAA scor- a period oftime before any decisions Hawks also have a new assistant ing championship last year. are made. coach, Margo Page. Page was a HENSEL Both women are currently in a TUrek and Pounder are "excel- member of the 1994 Championship pool of about 50 Canadian women lent competitors," said Laurier's National team along with Pounder. trying to claim one of the spots on women's hockey coach Steve Thompson is "very excited about MARION the 1998 Olympic Team. Thompson. They both have "a deep the season." He is also happy about It was "a dream come true," said desire to play a high level of hock- the community involvement the PICTURE: Pounder of her experience with the ey." women's hockey team is planning, Turek (left) and Pounder look to the Olympics 1994 National team. She was the Pounder is an excellent addition including holding a Minor Hockey

12 October 12.1995 theCord -{Sports) Hawk Shots Football report card his decision making but that is have had their moments but they Smith and Nick Banbury they have but for a first time starter he is expected for a first-year starter. have also had to battle at lot of given opposing quarterbacks night- exceeding expectations and has held B+ injuries which makes their perfor- mares. It doesn't end there, all of his own. Running Backs mance so far that much greater. Jason Jacyno, Nelson DaCosta and A Tailback duo of Peter Hwang A- David Sguigniahave played well. Special Teams and Andy Bacon are talented Receivers A Corey Grant pushes the unit's enough but have been used sparing- Not near as flashy as before with Linebackers grade up a couple of notches auto- PETE ROBINSON ly running the football to date. That the absence of Stefan Ptaszek, but It is hard to assign blame to the matically. He is simply awesome Cord Sports looks as though it is going to change they have done fairly well. Wideout best defense in the league but the returning kicks. Coverage teams With the stretch drive of the OUAA in the next couple ofweeks. trio of Corey Grant, Andrew LB's inexperience has shown at have had a couple of breakdowns football season about to get under The situation at FB is up in the Scharschmidt and Brian McClure times, particularly against the run. but overall have been good. way, here is a report card of how air with Mike Kahnert and Chad are as good as any in the league Still their play has been better than Jarret Luke's punting has been things are going so far in what has Kennedy out. If Kennedy returns when they're on. If Scharschmidt's expected and they continue to inconsistent but expected from a been a very successful season for and it allows Hwang to concentrate hands didn't let him down on occa- improve each game. first year punter. The place kicking Laurier. full-time on TB, than that should be sion they'd be even better. Zach B duties are the weak link here: nei- Quarterback a boost. Overall it is tough to give TVeanor is both a deep threat and a Secondary ther Tim O'Leary or Scott O'Hara Kevin McDonald has exceeded RB's a grade in a pass-oriented possession receiver who rarely Have been excellent. Chris have made a field goal over 27 even the most optimistic of expecta- offense like Laurier's, but here it drops any balls. Overall he has been Redguard and Wade Sergentson yards. It remains to be seen if this tions. He gives Laurier great athleti- goes: the best of a verytalented bunch. have had All-Canadian type seasons. will be a problem. cism and has showed that his arm B- B+ Robbie Symons and Kenji Konno and quick release are comparable to Offensive Line Defensive Line have been a little overshadowed but Kicking Game: C departed All-Canadian Bill Kubas. Have been great in protecting Arguably the best unit on the are still having banner years. Gord Has been inconsistent at times in McDonald. Running blocking they entire team. Led by DE's Gerry Jopling has made some mistakes Coverage & Return Teams: A

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SCOTT CULLEN punch. Outlook: The Penguins will be fun to flopping like a jellyfish sort of way, Cord Sports Outlook: The Flyers have introduced watch because of their run'n'gun has become the premier goalie in Newcomers: Brian Bellows, RW; Now that the season has started, the age of the behemoth to the NHL style. As fun as that may be, it is the NHL. John Cullen, C; Shawn Burr, LW/C; here is the second half of our NHL and use their size very effectively. unusual for that to translate into Weakness: Cost cutting moves in the Departed: Alexander Semak, C;

preview - the essentials about the The LOD is the league's best line, playoffwins. off-season robbed the Sabres of a lot Marc Bureau, C Eastern Conference. and could carry the Flyers to the Montreal Canadiens of scoring. Strength: A lot of young talent. Finals. Newcomers: Stephane Quintal, D; Outlook: The Sabres are now a Weakness: The young talent must Newcomers: Steve Thomas, RYV. New York Rangers Marc Bureau, C; Saku Koivu, C younger, hungrier team, but they suffer through growing pains. Departed: Claude Lemieux, RW; Newcomers: Ray Ferraro, C; Wayne Departed: Brian Bellows, KW; Bryan are not very talented. Typical sea- Outlook: The Lightning have good, Tom Chorske, RW; Bruce Driver, D; Presley, RW; Bruce Driver, D; Luc Fogarty, D; Ed Ronan, RW; Ron sons from Hasek and Pat Lafontaine young players in Roman Hamrlik, Strength: From Martin Brodeur out, Robitaille, LW; Ulf Samuelsson, D; Tugnutt, G. could get them into the playofls. , and Jason Wiemer, the Devils have a stingy team Doug Lidster, D; Mattias Norstrom, Strength: The number one line of but there is not quite enough to sug- defense. D. Pierre Turgeon, Vincent Newcomers: Wendel Clark, LW; gestpost-season action this year. Weakness: Have long lacked a legiti- Departed: Sergei Zubov, D; Steve Damphousse and Mark Recchi will Todd Bertuzzi, C; Tommy Salo G, mate #1 center. Larmer, RW; Brian Noonan, RW; be one of the most explosive in hock- Departed: Steve Thomas, RW; Ray Newcomers: Brett Harkins, C; Ed Outlook: The Devils have all the Strength: A deep forward corps, ey- Ferraro, C; Ron Sutter, C. Jovanovski, D; Steve ingredients to defend their Cup, but including 7 players with at least 13 Weakness: A soft defense that allows Strength: A good crop of big, young Washburn(7LW; Robert Svehla D, will find it much tougher when goals last season. too many shots. players like Bertuzzi, McCabe and Departed: Keith Brown, D; Gaetan every opponent is pumped to play Weakness: Father Time has not Outlook: The Habs should improve Brett Lindros will have leadership Duchesne, LW. the champs. been kind to the Rangers; they have enough to make the playofls, and provided by gritty veterans dark, Strength: As long as John Boston Bruins 11 players on their roster over the are hoping for a big contribution and Kirk Muller. Vanbiesbrouck is in net, the Newcomers: Kevin Stevens, LW; age of 30. from Koivu. Weakness: Unless the rookie Salo Panthers have reason to be opti- Shawn McEachern, LW; Todd Elik, Outlook: The Rangers could have Hartford Whalers stands on his head, the Isles fall mistic. C; Joe Mullen, RW; chosen to rebuild after last season's Newcomers: Brendan Shanahan, short in net Weakness: A popgun attack led by Departed: Brian Smolinski, LW; Glen playoff ousting, but GM Neil Smith LW; Nelson Emerson, RW; Jeff Outlook: The Islanders, bad new 15 goal scorer Jesse Belanger. Murray, LW; Dave Shaw, D wants to give Mark Messier one last O'Neill,C; uniforms and all, could sneak into Outlook: The Panthers also have a Strength: Newly acquired depth to chance to win the Cup, this is it. Departed: Darren Turcotte, C; Chris the playofls. future to build around, but the pre- support Adam Oates, Cam Neely Pittsburgh Penguins Pronger, D. Washington Capitals sent looks bleak. and Ray Bourque. Newcomers: Dmitri Mironov, D; Strength: With a solid core of young Newcomers: Brendan Witt, D; Jason Ottawa Senators Weakness: Goaltending is still a Glen Murray, LW; Brian Smolinksi, talent, the Whalers will only get bet- Allison, C; Martin Gendron, RW. Newcomers: Dan Quinn, C; Steve question. Blaine Lacher must fight LW; ter. Departed: Dimitri Khristich, LW; Duchesne, D; Daniel Alfredsson, RW; the sophomore jinx. Sergei Zubov, D; Petr Nedved, D; Weakness: Still searching for an Byron Dafoe, G. Tom Chorske, RW Departed: Sylvain Outlook: The Bruins have added Richard Park, C; David Roche, LW. offensive defenseman. Strength: Defense, led by veterans Turgeon, RW; Steve Larouche, C. many new faces, and look the better Departed: Luc Robitaille, LW; Larry Outlook: The Whalers should get Sylvain Cote, Mark Unordi and Calle Strength: With forwards like for it. Murphy, D; Joe Mullen, RW; John into the playofls, and willrely heavi- Johansson Alexandre Daigle, Radek Bonk, Philadelphia Flyers Cullen, C; Kevin Stevens, LW; Shawn ly on the goaltending of Sean Burke, Weakness: Peter Bondra and Michal Martin Straka and Alfredsson, there Newcomers: Joel Otto, C; Kjell McEachern, LW; Troy Murray, C;Ulf and the leadership of Shanahan Pivonka are holdouts and coupled is potential for a decent attack. Samuelsson, D; Garth Snow, G. Samuelsson, D; Greg Hawgood, D; Buffalo Sabres with the trade of Khristich, the Caps Weakness: While this is like asking Departed: Dimitri Yushkevich, D; Jim McKenzie, RW. Newcomers: Mike Peca, C; Brian have lost nearly 50% oflast season's Wayne Gretzky which assist was his Dave Brown, RW; Rob Zettler, D. Strength: Mario is back and teamed Holzinger, C; Wayne Primeau, goals. favourite, the Sens really need to Strength: Size. 6 Flyers tip the scales with Jaromir Jagr and Ron Francis, C;Andrei Trefilov, G; Departed: Outlook: The Caps had little offen- shore up their defense. at over 220 lbs. the offense will light up scoreboards Alexander Mogilny, RW; Wayne sive depth behind Bondra and Outlook: Alexei Yashin has headed Weakness: Behind the Legion of around the league. Presley, RW; Dale Hawerchuk.C; Pivonka to begin with, and as long home to Russia, demanding a trade. Doom (Lindros, LeClair and Mikael Weakness: Due to off-season losses, Craig Simpson, LW. as they hold out this team is in trou- However, the Sens are slowly getting Renberg) there is little offensive the defense is pretty flimsy. Strength: Dominik Hasek, in his ble. better. Varsitybriefs sports Men's Hockey They now embark on a crucial Over tbe Thanksgiving weekend the four-game stretch in the schedule Men's Varsity Hockey team received that should determine their Fate in a stark reminder as to how big a the battle for a playoff spot. Itiey are rebuilding job they have on their on the road next, and in action hands. against Waterloo Saturday and Playing in the Oktoberfest tour- Western on Sunday. WLU Student Publications is Now hiring... nament, tiie Hawks lost all three MattLauder games by lopsided scores. The Women's Soccer University of Ottawa topped Laurier Despite playing a strong game, 7-2, York beat the Hawks 4-1 and Laurier's Women's Soccer team's Keystone Sales Windsorthumped them 9-2. now at Manager winless streak stands two Hie Windsor game was perhaps alter losing to Mac 2-1. the most disturbing Laurier, was pleased for MacLean with the M$M •. ItiPlllili

* despite sitting out most regulars. performance ofhis squad and point- r gfo 112-IMj —-, /s ,

.. The Lancers represent the main ed out thathis teamhad some tough • " ■ - obstacle to Laurier if they hope to fuck throughout the match. C a m claim tbe third and find playoff spot Vejvalka scored the lone goal for in the tough OUAA Far-West divi- Laurier; sion. The loss drops them two points "We're going to have our bands behind the Marauders to second full,'' said Head Coach Wayne place in the standings. Like tbe men, Cowing. "We have nowhere to go the women now©iter a critical pari but up." of their schedule that should dictate Jim Donnelly whether they can get back into first Men^Socc«r place. Playing with standout midfielder Pete Robinson A l -/ J Nelson Peneles injured, Laurier Rugby dropped a close 3-2 decision to divi- The Men's Rugby quest for a playoff sion leading Mac, berth is all but over after losing last Some business or sales experience would be an asset although not The Hawks led the contest 2-0 Friday toRMC 22-15. reguired. early in the first half and 2-1 athalf- The Golden Hawks were dinging time, but were unable to hold off a to a feint hope for a spot in the play- very talented McMaster squad Mac offs. However the loss all but elimi- Applications, job descriptions and more information available in the represents a very likely opponent nates them from contention for the WLUSP offices, 3rd floor, Students' Union Building. should Laurier make the playoffs. one spot reserved for Division 11 Mike Johnston scored for Laurier teams. when he converted a beautiful cross Ryan Coburn scored 10 of h>i^[«7fTiiMJlsß!ipBßnt!>HKßK!Bifc{ll the ' in the 15th minute. Steve Antolcic Hawks points, with Jeff Hoekmen made it 2-0 a minute later when he accounting for the rest with a try. [Interviews will take place the week of October 30th. converted apenalty kick. Pete Robinson

14 October 12,1995 theCord ENTERTAINMENT Defining the X-Phile Toronto hosts itsfirst convention for those who want the Truth MELANIE SEAL has turned "trendy". An interviewer On top of all this, there was a marketed to those who have turned Files can only mean disappoint- Cord Entertainment from Global asked teenage girls with trivia contest, blooper reel, my favourite actors into pin ups. ment. I think that Duchovny and On September 10, 1993, Chris huge "X"s painted across their faces Scullyisms and Mulderisms, and a Chris Carter, the die-hard surfer Anderson are great, and I love the Carter had no idea what he had on why they liked the show. They contest to see which fan had the who came up with and produces the way Carter's mind works, but they his hands. The pilot episode ofthe X- answered, "It's cool." I wanted to best story line for when Mulder X-files, feels disappointed. He states are not rock stars. Some X-philes Files went off reasonably well, and ask them to spell 'paranormal' for meets his sister again. (This concept in Sci-Fi Universe-. "This show has should realize that the purpose of Fox picked up the series in its first me. had me intrigued-I had given up been like a secret vice for a lot of the show is not to see how many T- month. Soon, the X-Files had a cult Tickets sold out for the conven- hope on the recovery of Samantha people out there, and there's noth- shirts can be sold, but to make us following, and there appeared those tion. Fifteen hundred X-philes Mulder). ing like the disappointed feeling that think differently about the institu- of us who would avoid Friday night packed themselves into the hotel to Feeding on X-files paranoia, one your secret vice has been discov- tions around us that we take for activities (or at least postpone them show their appreciation for a show group called "The New World ered." granted. Remember: Trust No One, until after ten p.m.) just to stay that deals with UFO's, shape Order", handed out flyers advertis- Personally, I fear that this show The Truth Is Out There. home and watch. I must admit that I shifters, pyrokinetics, voodoo, cult ing a convention to "find out about is going to become even trendier, To become a member of the was one of many that joined an X- members, bovine steroid-abusers the real Government Conspiracy with re-runs in the afternoons like Official capitalizing, commercialized files chat line on the Internet, with and tattooed men that eat humans that is now going to control us." Seinfeld, until it dies a slow tedious X-Files Fan club, write care of discussions on various episodes, the to name a few. Unfortunately, the convention left death, like Two dose For Comfort. I Creation Entertainment, 411 N. paranormal, and even where David In the "Dealer's" room, one could me with the feeling that my favorite have the same sentiments as Carter. Central Ave. #300, Glendale Ca., Duchovny bought his suits. purchase X-files trading cards, show has been commercialized and The growing popularity of The X- 91203. Naturally, when the first posters, jackets, t-shirts, calendars, Canadian X-files convention was magazines, books and videos. A announced, I was intrigued. I had "dealer" charged on average twenty no idea that the show had become dollars for a shirt, and up to fifteen that popular. Upon discovering that for a magazine. The Truth may be the convention was hosted by out there, but the T-shirts were gone Creation Entertainment, the same an hour and a half after the doors people who run the Star Trek opened. shows, I was prepared to encounter Items from the series were to be a complete geek fest. auctioned off, items such as Scully The car beside mine in the park- and Mulder's trench coats, Mulder's ing lot had "X FILE" on its license sweat shirt he jogged in (my person- plate. Hundreds of people were al fave), and the shirt that Deep pouring into the International Plaza Throat was wearing when he was Hotel lobby, and all wearing "The X- killed. Judging by the pace in which files" across their T-shirts. So what the X-phile vultures gobbled up the does the typical X-phile look like? thirty-two dollar fan club member- You may have been expecting the ships, this was going to be a hit. same strangeoid I was. Amazingly, Nick Lea, Agent Krycek on the X- a show about the paranormal and files, came out to meet hoards of the paranoid drew a pretty average- screaming young girls. He talked looking crowd. Many baby boomers about his experiences working on were there, but most alarming was the show, and described killing his the number of young children real-life girlfriend (Scully's sister) by prancing around wearing the latest saying "It was a gas." After giving a in David Duchovny gear. I felt like I few prepubescent teenagers hugs, was at a New Kids On The Block he went offto sign autographs. concert with all the screaming that LU went on every time Mulder's smug Seal shared her love of the look would flash across the show with screens. a sold-out CL It's too bad that such a great show crowd in Toronto. ca Showgirls lets loose Cat calls, whistles, and one sex scene LORI DYSIEVICK and wolf whistles made it clear just Flashdance. Although it is obvious cles of a belly dancer don't try this in in a theatre for $4.25. This same Cord Entertainment whatthose expectations were. that Berkley is capable of dancing, your own swimming pool. crowd of horny guys roared when For those who have always wanted Showgirls certainly fulfills those director Paul Verhoeven doesn't give Having been to Las Vegas I can Nomi alone kicked the shit out of a to go to Las Vegas, a city notorious expectations. Berkley's character, her a chance to ever performfor the vouch for the authenticity of the guy who brutally raped her best for legalized gambling, prostitution Norni Malone is a twenty year old audience (well, not dancing any- scenery. It was just as flamboyant friend. This final display of poetic and glamour, Showgirls was hyped with a mysterious past who hitch- way). and visually impressive as the city in justice was a strength. Years of as a cheap version of the next best real life. Unfortunately the acting left dance training have given Berkley a thing. The production marked the VUarning: Unless you have a lot to be desired which is the sweeping kick that would make any debut of the former teen sitcom movie's downfall. Berkley plays her O'Leary envious. Saved By The Bell's Elizabeth the stomach muscles ofa belly character's immaturity well and at Obviously there are different Berkley in a mature role. points displays a great deal of impressions of this movie. I found a Showgirls opened to it's own dancer don't try this strength. moral message, it was weak, but it share of controversy as well, thanks in yourown swimming pool. In an interview, Eszterhas stated was there nonetheless. One guy I to writer Joe Esterhas, who was he was trying to make a movie talked to said that he would recom- publicly criticized for encouraging hikes to Las Vegas in the hopes of As for the nudity, for the first few about personal growth, self discov- mend it to any girl to watch. teenagers under the NC-17 rating's becoming a showgirl. Nomi gets a minutes you are distracted by the ery and self respect. I am not saying This past weekend the movie age limit to see the movie any way job working in a raunchy strip joint fact that practically every woman in Eszterhas accomplished this, I'm dropped from number two to num- possible, using false identification if where she lap dances until through the movie is topless but eventually saying he was trying. ber five at. the box office so it's initial necessary. a few breaks she gets a job as a you become desensitized to it. (Even In spite of all the bad reviews of success is fading quickly. I don't Even though I was unsure of showgirl. Nomi's dancing talent is the guys agreed with this). Believe it what was a poorly made movie, I know if Berkeley was looking to what I would see, the approximately obvious to those around her. or not, there was only one sex scene left the theatre feeling pretty good. become the next Sharon Stone but I 270 guys in the 300 seat cinema had Showgirls' plot is an old one that in the whole movie. However, this is The theatre was about ninety per doubt Showgirls will accomplish definite expectations . When the title has been told many times. It can be one memorable sex scene. Warning: cent guys all psyched to see the clos- that. As one guy put it, "It's a far cry appeared across the screen cat calls compared to the early 80's hit unless you have the stomach mus- est thing you can get to pornography from "Saved By The Bell."

theCord October 12,1995 15 (Entertainment)^ Eating Out with Joel and George Kudos to the Fox

JOEL LYNN AND GEORGE RAPTIS The food is great and they have great, some items go beyond the Chocolate Monster Cake with a B- witty conversation. Cord Entertainment almost every kind of beer your taste limits of a typical student budget. -52 coffee to top it off. George is Part of the charm that makes This week, Joel and George decide buds could ever thirst for. We won't You won't necessarily break the always too busy stuffing his face The Fox one of our favourite hang- to visit one of their Favourite hang- talk about that week in the summer bank at the Fox. However, ifyou are with Country Fries and beer to leave outs is the outdoor patio in the sum- outs... when they took Moosehead off their not careful, your tab will creep up room for dessert. mer and the live entertainment all The Fox and Pheasant taps. After seven days of George's on you by the end of the night. It Kudos to Tracey, Mary-Anne year long. The Fox is a relaxing Over the summer, Joel and complaining, the management soon always seems as though people plan and the rest of the staff for great, place where the taps flow and the George spent many a fine evening brought it back. Joel understands to go for one drink at the Fox but friendly service. food is good. What more could you (not to mention many a fine dollar) the Fox's swift response to George's end up staying for the night... so Admittedly, service can be ask for out of a quality tavern such with good friends, fine food and whining... Remember the lost bring some plastic just in case. delayed during busy periods, but as the Fox (besides an unlimited plenty to drink at the Fox. mayo? The homemade desserts are the staff makes up for any slow ser- house account for Joel and Located just a stone's throw Speaking of George's mayo, let's tasty. Joel recommends a slab of vice with their pleasant smiles and George?). away from campus, the Fox and the talk about the food. Joel recom- Pheasant provides a welcome alter- mends the Mushrooms on Toast or native to other nearby watering the Spare Ribs. On Wednesdays, holes. swing on by for the $3.99 bacon This place has class! The decor cheese burger and fries special. Return, George's 90210 reminds Joel of the Rover's favorites include the The decline of the traditional English pub from Country Fries and the Prime Rib Coronation Street. George thinks the (but not together)... unless you've MIKE VENCEL Beverly Hills. Now he's just like want to hop into bed with one Fox is the perfect place to bring a had a bottle or two off their lengthy Cord Entertainment them. another. I don't want a "Melrose date, hang out with friends, or your (but expensive) wine menu. I can remember a few years Another thing that bothers me Place" 90210,1 want my old Beverly parents. Although most of the food tastes back when Aaron Spelling brought about 90210 is Dylan. We always Hills 90210 back. The only thing out this fantastic show called Beverly knew that he was running with less that saves this show is Steve Hills 90210. The show's concept was than all eight cylinders, but he's Saunders. Through numerous years simple: two teenagers had just messed with drugs, got arrested, of being on this show, his character moved from Minnesota to Beverly thinks Kelly's his soul mate, and on has never evolved. He is still the Hills, and each episode gave us a top ofall this he's going to whack the same womanizing, chauvinist pig glimpse into their (unrealistic) lives. guy that killed his father. I have a that he always was. He's the only Every week we would plunk our- problem with Dylan running around constant in this sea of variables and selves down in front of the TV and like a mob hitman when he isn't. I think that's the scariest thing. I'll thrill to lives that were not our own. The show's plots are getting still watch 90210 and try to enjoy it Last season's episodes were worse (as opposed to when, you but I'm hoping for a miracle that beginning to get a little strange, but I might ask) and it seems that they this show will get back onto track. stuck through it. After last season's finale, I was left with a sense of CPHUS} wonder. What's going to happen to my favourite characters? The new BigBucks, No Whammies season has begun, and I've found out they've all gone straight to hell. I BRAD ROSS could see it happening last season- CordEntertainment little things like Kelly joining a cult Staying at home, eating chicken noodle soup and watching the tube... what and Ray pushing Donna down the else can you do when you 'resick? TV Came Shows. stairs. Somehow, I stuck with it. Now I'm beginning to wonder if this 1. Who were the two hosts for Family Feud? should be the last season for this 2. Whohosted Just like Mora? show. After three weeks of new 3. What famous Laurier (little House) Don and Sigma CM member 90210 episodes, I'm beginning to appeared on Just like Mom? think 'yes'. 4. What game show didRonald Regan's son host? I find it a chore to sit through a 5. What show is characterized with contestants yelling "Big Bucks, No whole hour of 90210; I'm frequently Whammiesf? looking at my watch, and wondering 6. Who had a babyin Degrassi Junior Hi$i? if it's almost over. Why has this hap- 7. What wasthe name ofJoey Jeremiah's bandin Degrassi High? pened? What could bring me to hate 8. What Beverly Hills 90210 want-to-be show was filmed at U ofT? one of my favourite shows? I think 9. What was the principal's name in Saved by the Bell? the number one thing that has 10. Who did Jasmine Guy's character marry in Another World? caused me to hate the show is the 11. Who covered the song "Hock On*, and in what television soap opera degradation of Brandon's character. does he star? He was such a straight- arrow type 12. Wliat is the longest running dailygame show? when the show began. Now he 13. Who was the students' first teacher in Saved by the Bell? drinks, he's egotistical, he's basically Steve Sanders. Why Brandon? He was the mom's apple pie of the 6imq{ 'umuiOQ pmpw avfittfA awm(fOl SxnpjaQ % $suq:$ show, the light at the end of the tun- u W Jo WZ p9tum uofpavitos ttz :l •$ ywrj ssdjj:g nel, the home town boy that never m J9V31 &%L &tlds o6urj:t> :£ uaago d$jdd: W) fivy puo uosowq pumpttf-i lost his roots when he moved to sift® now Z WEDNESDAYS ■l'S ?-&'r%§ mi*.A *Mi M JHMMfIi

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16 October 12,1995 theCord -(Entertainment) Athena: eloquence DuoDynamic TONYAVENTURA easy she must resort to a Rale cre- without substance AND MEANIE SEAL ativity. We umdd say, you should Cord Entertainment be more concerned with what she Dear Dynamic Duo, writes. Is she announcing to the JASON KALRA student for as little as $10 (you spent Albert St. You can get more infor- I work with this guy who reallykind world that you suck in bed? Maybe Entertainment Cord nine times that much for a parking mation at the Bookstore, or contact of does something for me. We work she is signaling to her next lover we venture down the horri- Before permit which allows you the privi- Ms. Kathryn Wardropper at in a book store, and often 1 look up that you will be asleep shortly. At ble path of didactic dribble that I am lege of not finding a parking spot). kwardrop @machl.wlu.ca. from the latest Anne Rice novel to any rate, remember that it is never of, something has arisen so fond for For this nominal fee, you receive catch his hair cascading over his enough to make a girlfog up your bibliophiles out all closet there discounts on books, as well as up-to- Athena shoulders. I've (rapped him in cor- windows, any golden retriever can (admitting it is the first step). The the-minute information on guest By: John Banville ners. and whenI listen to him theo- do that. A skilled lover is one that Bookstore has launched speakers, plus, & Laurier you may get the (Seeker Warburg, London: 1995 rize over shelving procedures, I put his girlfriend into a coma, or at something called the Friends of opportunity to have some bloody $32.99 Hardcover, 233 p.) swear he wants tokiss me. the very leasta contented steep. dub, which you can join Books as a fine tea at this quaint little house on How do I get Mm to make that Dynamic Duo Were I to focus only on Banville's move? elegant use of the English language, Signed; Love in the Stacks Dear Dynamic Duo, I'd be quite pleased to prattle on for Recently I had my ditoris pierced, 300 words about how profoundly Dear Love In The Stacks, arid everything was great. Hie sex Lyon moves wonderful Athena truly is. However, Perhaps you could awaken your was out of this world, and I've plot does count for something, and prince with one ofBice's "Sleeping found I can stimulate myself with a Athena ultimately stands as a fair Beauty" series; which will provide pair of cotton underwear. (perhaps even a little prosaic) book. him with some interesting insight Unfortunately, because I've been on to Swallow In Athena, we see the gray, into the erotic world of binding ( rubbing myself so much lately, I'm morose backstreets of London and we don't mean books). Here's all swollen and the hole is starting through the eyes of Morrow, an ex- an idea: unloada new shipment of to tear. Atthe same time I cant help SELENE MacLEOD label The released Shannon Lyon convict who is miserably wandering novels on the top and don't myself. I cant stop. Hie Hood isn't Cord Entertainment shelf Pop Explosion's "Buffalo White," through the shattered remains of an wear any panties, then call him that bad. Should I worry? what do do when So you no one's and "Superock," by the Mighty emotionally depraved and spiritually over and show him some shelving Signed, Hole In One interested in what you're doing? Fishermen. These two bands are exhausted life. Through contact procedures ofyour own. Most of you are familiar with the officially signed to Swallow. The with a cabaret of underworld char- Dynamic Duo Dear Hole to One, "do-it-yourself' ethic. Shannon Lyon label has been working with a few acters including: two thoroughly A steel rod through probably the of Swallow Records does it—with a other bands unofficially, most repugnant art thieves, a somewhat Dear Dynamic Duo, most sensitive part ofyour body bit of a twist. notably Ground and Curb. perverted Mafia kingpin, a duntish My girtfriend enjoys fogging up the isn'tfor everyone. We're happy that member long- a The former of "It's communal effort," Lyon police officer, and a mysteriously windows of my bedroom and then your sexuality has improved great- time local favourites "If Strange Days comments. the Mighty Fishermen gothic woman; Morrow is forced to writing all over them. Why won't ly justremember that a torn clitoris hatched the idea of forming his own are in Halifax, the Pop Explosion are identify and decipher the thrust of she stop the writing, and come to can't be that good you. A little label in there, for December. "I had been and Swallow is there." He new emotions that face him; feelings bed? Is it something I've done? bit ofblood may not hurt, however, turned down with Strange Days for also says that "...there are a lot of that he had long since declared Signed, Foggy nothing could be more embarrass' about seven years, they had little other bands that are doing the same defunct. Yet this rich and vivid ing than rubbing on a door handle bites that were interested, they thing that you're doing...Something beginning fizzles as Banville refuses Dear Foggy: and yourip the thing Yukl And wanted to hear off. more and this and has to be there that's going to be to evolve the main character, It is said that the pen is think the expense getting that...lt was often of of just bullshit." appealing, so you can...get your Morrow, by developing a depth in mightier than the sword Perhaps another piercing put in. Keep it on Far from being bitter, to Lyon says music the people." the present (rather than one stuck after a night of throwing your ice for now. It will reduce the that his decision to form Swallow Swallow Records has gained in the past). As a result, Athena pigskin around, she is not ade- swelling and redness, numb the "...wasn't like 'Well, I'll show you popularity locally, and recognition becomes verbose, the promised quately pooped Instead offalling slight pain- andfeeloh so good bastards and start my own label...lt across Canada. Their releases are complexity of the novel thins, and intoa slumber, as men oftenfind so Dynamic Duo wasn't a big pre-meditated thing. I sellling well at stores in every the direction of the book spirals didn't have any pre-judgments of province, as well as through mail- downward. what was gonna happen...l didn't order. Both the Shannon Lyon Pop Ultimately, the supporting char- know what I'd be doing." Explosion and the Mighty acters and their potential vividness Originally based out of Shannon Fishermen will be touring this fall, become trivial, and the spiritual I OH OF I BEST FILMS IF 1Ml Roger Bert, CHICAGO 9N-11MB Lyon's living room, Swallow's busi- promoting each other by selling CDs inner-journey of protagonist ness also includes Lyon's partner, at their shows. Morrow devolves into a tiresome, JeffMathers. "He's showed me a lot "Ironically enough, now that I've repetitive diatribe. about the business...l've benefitted started the label, the majors are tak- While being an enormous there. I had to get up, I had to go to ing interest in my stuff," Lyon adds. admirer ofBanville's earlier works, I the office...lt's grown into this big He hopes Swallow will pick up must admit that Athena is a rather thing, (that's) really exciting." major-label distribution. disappointing read. February of 1995 marked the Lyon says his music will always One can only hope his next sub- fjjjj release of a vinyl 7-inch compilation, be more important than the busi- mission is a return to the style found featuring four local acts: Strange ness: "I couldn't work at the office so easily in previous novels: a bril- R JIB Wom&t %|8 Days, Shannon Lyon, The and watch the Mighty Fishermen liant fusion of elegant writing, com- Longfellows, and The Mighty play, then come out in a suit and tie manding direction, and respectful Fishermen. In April, Swallow and go 'good show boys.' I want to humility. Why he excluded the latter released the full-length compilation be there...l'm controlling my destiny. two ingredients in Athena proposes CD "Swallow This." I have this path and this vision, and a small mystery, yet constitutes a During the summer of 1995, the step by step I'm taking over." large mistake.

A SEXY," KINETIC THRILLER. GrahamFuller, INTERVIEW Small Beef / 5i \ BOY 1 DiiNffi and / m. —."-in, Begnlar Fries and the VISIONARY TRIUMPH. i Peter Travers, ROLLINS STONE ( nByIUE) i-Mhjßis kebab l, j PnPP BRILLIANT. V (M) J Pad Warier, WBAI RADIO THE ORIQNAL KFFI

"We look forward • pick-upordhis i|II( | •drivhhru ; ■ llkb STRANGE BAYS toservinavouat ilfiws angetilassetr starts i*l« Mm irtadicolt nuxgnrt rasprtpsta MMstnuileep frt our University / « x imifi i |ficilepl|i6ft mr*** illfill is: pmaaipMpii mißinkffi«sii M«ff shinjanescwnn raM jKwmmckle in*aioratM«MiW location. "—™i ■'— Aye. X fcrtuWinpfciNi |M| we • \ (d ) / ■;SMS!S!.- ffcffT) Remember, re still open to Uhtiwka KEBAB m* WlmmitlUrtHfiM CSMMIk serve you at the St. ! / Jacob's . . qrginai Farmer's Market, as well!" (Ww In—< Wnfcar ! \\W MinBIITC&imE) Opens October 13 at With this coupon only. /LU'LUIO Not to be used with any other coupon. 1*c7&4717 Expires Oct. 31 Theatres Everywhere! 1 theCord October 12.1995 17 (Entertainment) Renting 'TheRef' a goodcall HARD TANYA VENTURA all well and good but what he didn't CORD Cord Entertainment bargin on was being stuck in What do you get when you add one Suburbia Hell. bickering couple, their juvenile This movie was cast brilliantly. delinquent son, a dysfunctional Who would have thought that extended family and a cat burglar Davis, better known for her dra- together? If that cat burglar hap- matic ability could do this comedy AARON HUNTER pens to be Dennis Leary you get one with such vigour. Leary, ever pre- Cord Entertainment hilarious comedy. The Ref, a modest sent with his lightning tongue and hit in '93, stars Dennis Leary, Judy dicing wit, pales in comparison to Davis, and Kevin Spacey. It includes the perfect harmony achieved by Things 'TheMan'doesn't one of the best supporting casts, Davis and Spacey. They defiantly lead by the now famous Christine steal the show from Leary, with want you to think about Bernansky (Cybil's alcoholic friend) their quick retorts and scathing sar- ever gathered for a comedy in casm. The role of Connie (the bitchy 1. The Gumby Movie, recent years. sister-in-law) is played by He's so bendy and greea The premise is simple. It's Bernansky and is what I would call Christmas Eve, the characters her comedy breakthrough, (yes 2. Ironic consumption. played by Spacey and Davis are on folks you heard it here first) she is You're hip, you're cod, you have a G-Force wristwatch. their way home from their mar- in a word hilarious and this movie riage councillor when they are is made that much better just by 3. Keanu Reeves'band, Dogstat apprehended at gun point and held her gracing the screen. Pop quiz, hotshot: You're living out a childish fantasy. Eveiybody hostage by none other then Dennis All in all this is definitelya renter. knows it What do you do? Leary. It seems that Leary's bur- Slap it in the VCR and get ready for glary attempt of a nearby mansion a knee slapping goodtime. 4. The Great Turkey Dinner Migration of 1995. went drastically wrong and he The Ref can be rented at the Tensions mount as thebattle few freezer spacereaches fever pitch. needs a place to lay low. Well that's Centre Spot.

5. The new Oasis album. Buy it, or they'll beat you up and steal your beer.

6. The Nerf able at Toys 'K Us. Give me twenty dollars, and I'D give you a deadly rain of sponge arrows.

7. The changing ofthe leaves. A Means To An End Empire Records Soundtrack "Washing Machine" A quaint and charming symbol of death. The Music of Joy Division Various Artists Sonic Youth Virgin A&M Records DGC 8. London Telecom. This album started off with one Unless you've been visiting Tibet for Hot on the heels of a successful stint I spent my whole eighty hours explaining communism to Uncle Amos strike against it since it was a whole the past month, you've heard "Til I as headliners at Lollapalooza this from Dundaik. record containing other artists' cov- Hear It From You" by the Gin year, Sonic Youth have released ers of classic Joy Division songs. For Blossoms. This is where that song their tenth studio album. The songs 9. Creme de menthe. a brief history lesson, Joy Division can be found. The Empire Records on Washing Machine follow the Ewww was a influential British band from Soundtrack has 14 other great basic formula of combining melodic the late 70's that had itsrise to fame tracks from today's mainstream guitar riffs with ample amounts of 10. William Carlos Williams. cut short when singer lan Curtis music. The Cranberries new single distorted vocals and guitar feed- Chickens. Wheelbarrow. Shutup. committed suicide. The remaining "Liar" is on here, plus another over- back. However, some songs feature members of the group later formed played but amazing song, Edwyn three guitars and no bass. As New Order. For this tribute to the Collins' "Girl like You". Some other always, it should be warned that lis- group, instead of seeking out big bands on this CD include Better tening to this group is an acquired name stars to cover the songs, then Ezra, Toad the Wet Sprocket, taste since not everyone can stand many of the artists on this album Cracker and The Innocence the screeching and howling of gui- are from small independent labels. Mission. After hearing this CD I tars that is common on most tracks. The first half of the album features really want to see the movie, just to For those with less tolerance for some excellent covers that capture see how they used such a diverse noise, check out songs like the essence of Joy Division s songs. collection of music. In all I recom- "Unwind", or the catchy little ballad Check out Gills Against Boys cov- mend this soundtrack to anyone "Little Trouble Girl" featuring Kim ering "She's Lost Control", and because I can guarantee you will Deal of the Breeders on backup Codeine doing their version of enjoy it. vocals. Less palatable but still amaz- "Atmosphere". Unfortunately, there Vencel ing songs include "Skip Tracer" and are a few songs that just don'tfit on the twenty-minute epic "Diamond this record. Sea" which includes over twelve "Interzone" by Face to Face is minutes of sonic distortion. You can just a crappy 90s punk tune while also play 'name that song' with the "As You Said" by Tortoise has a bor- uncredited and untitled ninth song. ing techno-like sound. The album Overall, this album is certainly one has some adequate covers, but like of Sonic Youth's best since joining most tribute albums it pales in com- the DGC ranks and may win over "Loonie Night" parison to the original music. several newfans. Wednesdays Sean Moore earcandy Sean Moore 9 pm to 11pm 3aMgEigfgjgjgEfgEigagjaEyEjiciadjaggEoM g fagp3 R3E3fr3gitr3frig3EJrr»fppEifa@oaßfcgggPß^P lßgaß Students bowl for Finest Indian Cuisine I just a loonie Half-Price 103 King Street North, j per game! & Waterloo Lane « No charge for i-arie 888-6223 NO-Chafg© I rental shoes! " $ £ vto Saturday Rental Shoes all you can eat I $ "7 " with this ad! 30pm / ALL YOU CAN EAT @

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18 October 12,1995 theCord NEU STUDENTEN KUNST Innocence or The book unfinished Ravings of the Mad Poet Thirteen. An age of wonderment, to grow, to mature; A time of wonderment, of Internal sensation; reaching outward for guidance. Striving for and yet never attaining, since the theft of Innocence. The Stage TURN THE PAGE. I want to sing, and have the Trust no one. For 1t 1s 1n trust that we are all truly betrayed. world listen. No one seems to From this can seep the unknown evil seed that 1s but an Infant. notice, when all of Life's For those of us without chastity, devotion has no meaning and passion troubles make me cry out 1n Is denial. pain. Yet 1n that magical circle TURN THE PAGE. of light, Everyone watches. I can open up my soul. And with Who has the right? each note, a small piece of It's Does familiarity give this to the hands of our betrayers, those once mystery 1s given to all who our friends? Experience my voice. Do we allow ourselves to succumb; to become the victim? Can we fight, or do we yield to let ourselves never love again? But every song must end, TURN THE PAGE. Its magic fading into memory. The hunger inside me remains, I was thlrteen. Gnawing at my consciousness, I now stand tall, of an age eight score more. Until I feel hollow and empty. But until this atrocity I face, for eternity I remain a prisoner... I yearn for the next time thlrteen. That I can share the power within, Raising my voice to the heavens, and CLOSE THE BOOK. Wanting the gods to respond favourably To the gift that I have given them. Ben Graham Always, I must return to cold reality, To become lost in ambiguity once again. There 1s no one who understands me. No one who even wishes to try. Black Words of Wisdom So I keep returning to the solace Of the stage, and let its When I become a man Comforting darkness envelop me. I will be ready to be a boy Forever yours,

It's Hke they say - what any boy can do It takes a man to accomplish. Tim Miller

I am not a man So I will worry about boyhood later That doesn't mean I don't wish I could be a boy I'm a poet Perhaps there 1s a bit of manhood 1n me yet. I'm a poet and love to show 1t I'm not sure when I'll be ready to take up the mantel of "Man" So just 1n case you didn't know 1t I know of others who wear this mantel but are not men. I'll write you one or maybe two I don't care to join their ranks - To show how much I care for you. I've waited this long - I can wait some more. Jamie Hill I think I may be ready to be a man soon Soon, but not yet THE JAPAN EXCHANGE AND TEACHING PROGRAM I'm stm enjoying my pre-manhood and will be sorry to leave 1t behind. Applications are now open for the 1996 Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) Program, a youth exchange program sponsored by the Japanese Government. Assistant English Teachers (ALT) help K1 nda. with English language education in Japanese junior high and high schools. Coordinators for International Relations (CIR) assist Japanese regional governments involved in international activities, Conor McCreery and must have a very good knowledge of Japanese. Both positions are open to Canadian university graduates, with one-year contracts beginning late July 1996, paying a salary of 3,760,000 yen (approx. The Giants C$50,000) per year. For application forms contact:

They ci rcle 'round The Japan Information Centre a table of 11ght Ste. 2702, T-D Bank Tower feasting on bones P.O. Box, T-D Centre we have yet to pick Toronto, ON MSK IAI their forks are drawn Ph.: (416) 363-5488 at the speed of night Fax:(416)363-6074 and the morsels gone in the blink of a 11fe Deadline for application is November 24, 1995. Do not send resumes. halves of truth yet to be cut Former program participants may not apply. hanging on to the edge of a knife prying the pods of our shell-covered selves careful to empty each row of eel 1s their voices lull as the merriment fall s and the crowd overflows and they take to the halls the doors swing aside and |^ifs they rise like dust, their footsteps sounding ~ closer to us. VoiceAt!On-line

Sherry A. Morin

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