READ THINK OUTSIDE THE SQUARE ME! WEEK 6 EDITION | 2 SEPTEMBER 2009

THE INTERVIEW OPINION VOX POPS Star of Lisa Pryor King St’s Avenue Q >11 on Honi >10 maîtres d’ >22 WEEK 6 EDITION | 2 September, 2009

04 09 > Alex Lee is smoking hot. Even more so in this article > William Harris has it in for Mark Latham >Elizabeth Kelleher guides you through the confusing > Anna Solar-Bassett on an Australian Bill of Rights Emissions Trading Scheme > Chris Salvemini has beef with AMI

10 05 > SMH’s Lisa Pryor opines on student print media > Katherine Connolly welcomes the new Dean of Arts. Oh, and Engo too 11 > Michael Krasovistky previews the final of the > Dave Mack sticks his hand up some naughty puppets 25th USU Band Comp 12 > Sriram Srikumar on the history of student politics 14 > Bronwyn Cowell knows Iran, Iraq and the like > Michael Hing defends a local hero > Joe Smith-Davies picks up some tricks from a pro > Joe Payten witnesses an on-campus heartbreak 20 > Tom Clement and Kate Leaver brave two new revues, Commerce and Engineering > Paul Mackay on a deadly new Australian film > Mark Di Stefano scoops the froth off coffee’s greatest mystery > Abigail Schoenheimer writes a postcard from Amsterdam

22 WWW.SIMONGREINER.BLOGSPOT.COM > Joe Payten plays with himself (and other college kids)

06 > Michael Slezak wraps up this sexy week in science > Yaseen Hussain teaches us the psychology of racism > Henry Hawthorne speaks to a leader in Mining Robotics

EDITOR IN CHIEF George Downing EDITORS Will Atkinson, Katherine Connolly, Bronwyn Cowell, Mark Di Stefano, George Downing, Giselle Kenny, Michael Krasovitsky, Alex Lee, Paul Mackay, Sriram Srikumar REPORTERS Dave Mack, Michael Hing, Joe Payten, Joe Smith-Davies CONTRIBUTORS William Harris, Henry Hawthorne, Ivan Head, Yaseen Hussain, Elizabeth Kelleher, Abigail Lemon, Lisa Pryor, Chris Salvemina, Abigail Schoenheimer, Sertan Sertal, Michael Slezak, Anna Solar-Basset, Douglas Thompson GRAPHIC DESIGN George Downing and Paul Mackay COMIC Simon Greiner CROSSWORD Ben Jenkins PUZZLES Paul Maclay

ADVERTISING [email protected]/PO Box 794, Broadway NSW PRINTER Marrickville Print and Design, Unite E1, 46-62 Maddox Street, Alexandria, NSW 2015

DISCLAIMER Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney NSW 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Mike Mackertich, Patrick Wall, Elly Howse and Samuel Moginie. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Spoof advertisement on page 9. Enjoy! my hearing problem so they sometimes half a page in space, described the at- Kermit & excused me from discussions. traction between a stallion and a mare in Co., Ltd. predictable terms, relating it continuously My disability is a part of me and while it to the sexual practices between males and This is a political edition if there ever James Gonczi, Law IV aka. Kermit the does cause some inconveniences in my females. One doesn’t need to be a femi- was one. With a bumper SRC election Frog in Law Revue life, I do not feel any different from others. nist to argue that this article was heavily fast approaching, what better time to sift I would like to give Honi thumbs up on underpinned by (hetero)sexual jokes through the colourful history of Sydney Dear Ms. Kate Leaver. I thank you for the featured article and hope that more which served to crudely draw similarities University’s student politics? In our your personal note in your review of the attention would be drawn to the difficul- between shamelessly hypersexual mares feature article, Sriram Srikumar explores Sydney University Law Revue “Law School ties faced by disabled students. and women “in heat.” the political breeding ground that is this Musical”. It is my pleasure to inform you campus and documents the formative that I would, pending completion of my Moreover, to position this article directly years of some of the nation’s most accom- law degree, be happy to represent you in The physio above one that satirises transgender and plished politicans, many of which appear any future legal battles in which you may intersex people is to marginalise Honi on this week’s cover. be involved. My Chambers are soon to be opines readers who identify as queer and fail located on Sesame Street, though you will to reflect the diversity of student life at Will a future national leader emerge from Martin McCawley, Cardiopulmonary have to ask someone how to get there. USYD. the rough in the upcoming election? It’s Team, Discipline of Physiotherapy hard to say - not least as, under Honi’s I’d like to save some space in next week’s editorial guidelines, the SRC prohibits the I refer to your “news” story in the Week Letters column by pre-emptively stating publication of any coverage whatsoever 4 edition in which you make mention of Oh Zareth... that A) I do not identify as queer or of the election, its candidtaes or policies. “Lenin’s Communist regime throughout feminist, so spare us all the personalised Which is to say your usual dose of political Zareth Lim, Arts I Eastern Europe”. I think you have a writer responses; and B) Political correctness is goss will be limited (for the next couple who joins the many who have confused not my forté, nor my conscious objective, of issues at least) to other political relams I can relate to Fiona May Graney’s story in Lenin and Stalin. It may seem a simple but I recognise heteronormative shitzen - the Union, SULS and Victoria Park’s the feature on student disability. Like her, slip, but their respective philosophies when I see it. pond, for instance (page 9). Also in the I was born with normal hearing but the and actions were ultimately hugely dif- issue, ex-Honi editor Lisa Pryor opines on result of pneumonia and high fever when ferent. Lenin remains respectable; Stalin the status of the nation’s student media I was five led me to lose almost 50% of my despicable. hearing in both ears. It was not found out (page 10). It would be wise for budding until I was nine and by then it had become G-g-geiger... Honi editors should take heed. quite severe. Even the specialists were sur- James Cheung Sci/Arts I prised that I managed to pass the manda- On horses, The current year of Honi is quickly drawing tory health checks that all seven year-old In response to Rachel Molden’s rather to a close - there are just five issues re- Singaporean kids had to go through. transgenders paranoid letter regarding the Honi Soit’s maining for the 2009 team (excluding the Queer and Election special editions). So Antares Wells, Arts (Advanced) II coverage on modern robotics (unfortu- I currently wear the completely-in-canal nately I have not read the article), it is to wrap for this Editor-in-Chief, was Honi the best thing I ever did at uni? (CIC) hearing aids in both ears. Since they Last week’s Honi contained an abridged, saddening to see yet another member of are small, most people do not notice until satirical version of the recent controversy society has succumbed to the media’s in- Absolutely. I tell them or they ask what is that “funny surrounding the gender of a South African ability to refrain from sensationalising any thing” sticking out of my ears. When they athlete, who is undergoing physical and scientific progress. Large Hadron Collider George Downing learn about my problem, most are usually psychological examination by an Athlet- ring any bells? I’m sure you were giving civil but some handle me cautiously and a ics board stupified by her identification as up on life after hearing a primordial black to note that Priebee’s letter contains at sudden transformation comes upon them; female given her sporting prowess. Not hole may form under the Franco-Swiss least nine named male characters and their talking slows down to the speed of a only did the writer of this piece implic- border. only one female character - the hated sloth and they feel the need to exagger- itly mock USYD students (not to mention teacher, apparantly unworthy of a name ate their mouth movements. I appreciate members of the wider population) who Despite what Hollywood or the distinctly and any signifiers other than the fact that their thoughtfulness but just increase your identify as transgender and intersex by anti-science media would inundate the her class held her in contempt. Men, on volume a bit and speak slightly slower. joking that “Her father told press, ‘He is general population with, science has the other hand are awarded names and my little girl. I raised him and I have never not progressed to the point where true even noble honorifics as ‘Master William’ Sometimes I feel self-conscious in tu- doubted his gender’”, the editor of this sentience, let alone sapience, can be ar- would indicate! Worrying signs! torials when we have discussions. This edition placed it underneath an article tificially simulated. A giant robot mouse leads me to stare at my tutor’s lips, which detailing the breeding of horses. would be a novelty toy, or technology Obviously the humble author has hit a makes them uneasy at times. In my pre- demonstrator combining the fields of me- nerve. Priebee concludes with an irrel- vious school, all the teachers knew about This article, generously afforded nearly chatronics, artificial intelligence, robotics evant anecdote about her DVD purchases and a slew of other disciplines, it would which allow her to comment briefly on hosting plays, musicals and revues came however hardly constitute to a laser eye her ingrained belief in American excep- at an opportune time for the University. wielding sapient killing machine. In the tionalism and a final warning (a threat of The demolition of the Stephen Roberts mean time, I will continue sitting around violence perhaps?) to leave the “great and Lecture theatre to make way for the new waiting for this bloody black hole to make glorious Disney” (an obvious and thinly- Law school on Eastern Avenue was to an appearance. veiled Capitalist & racist jab at Chinese leave the university short of a large lecture communism). hall. Upon obtaining the Footbridge the University converted it into a lecture Priebee: fascist? Union Trades theatre over the summer, getting it opera- tional in time for the scheduled demoli- Dave Harmon, self-reflective tool Heresy on Footbridge tion of Stephen Roberts to continue. Eastern Ave In return for the Footbridge, the Union A cursory read of Jessica Priebee’s letters Theatre secured the rights to open new retail, & effects yield troubling and reaction- Tom Lee, Arts II recreational and food service facilities at ary dividends. First of all, she refuses to It’s a shame to see the Evangelical Union’s In November last year the Union finalised the proposed USYD Central which will be engage with my analysis of the Disney chalking on Eastern Avenue defaced by an agreement to hand over the Footbridge built next to Wentworth on City Road. megatext, dismissing it as ‘irony’ - a someone attempting to wash off the word Theatre to the University. After struggling puff piece to make the reader laugh but ‘God’. Organising an event and advertis- to attract shows and audiences for almost ‘There will be great places to eat, have a not trouble them to think. She sets up a ing it is something everyone should be a decade, the Footbridge had been empty coffee of just sit with friends and study’ defunct fallacy of continuity in suggesting free to do. That this should happen to for over a year. Competition from new and says Amit Singh, President of USU. He that to disparage ‘The Lion King’ will force one of the largest, most active and non- renovated theatres that have opened in stresses that the design of the new build- ‘questions to be raised about other child- belligerent student groups is something the last 10-15 years around the University ing and plaza will be open to student hood favourites’. Instead we must choose to be concerned by. If it is found that a and in the city ate into the Footbridge’s comment: ‘the USU board is open to to subsist only on the filthy diet of socio- union-funded group is responsible for market. The old tenants left and there ideas and there will be a dedicated email normative imperatives that Walt Disney this crude vandalism, then they should be were no tenants on the horizon, leaving address for comments on the project’. and his objectivist elite brethren choose warned against shutting down the com- the Union with an empty building. to feed us. munication of other union-funded groups Published in Honi Soit, 2006 again or face a withdrawal of their union The decline of the Footbridge as a theatre On a purely statistical point, it is troubling support. >03 Honi’s Guide to... Spontaneous Combustion Alex Lee shines a light on a fiery phenomenon.

grain stored in hot silos, iPhones belong- external flame causing combustion, such Evidence has come to light that an In- ing to Frenchmen and in large quantities as a cigarette. The most prominent expla- diana manufacturer unknowingly used of pistachio nuts, where pressure from nation is wick theory – that posits that the metal blended with a dangerous radio- storage causes a reaction with the high fat human body acts as an inside-out candle active isotope to make parts for 1,000 content of the nuts. as the human body fat sustains the flame reclining chairs. Those who purchased for long periods, allowing the intense heat the chair are being rounded up and Yet it is the largely unexplained cases of to turn fat-covered body parts and clothing tested for superpowers as America con- SHC that really get the spooks and the to ash. Yet whilst this may explain away tinues its search for the elusive Radioac- sceptics excited. In such incidents, victims the “spontaneous” element of spontaneous tive Man. PAGES 4 AND 5 are reduced to piles of incinerated ash in combustion, it still does not completely seconds or minutes, extremities intact, explain the combustion, or sudden ignition A 26 year-old Australian woman was • Place one-column Campus News images immediately below story with flames seeming to come from within. that is said to occur. recently appointed Managing Editor subheading (not in body) Such was the case of Jeanne Saffin in of The New Yorker this week. Mean- Uhh honey? Turns out it’s not 1982, who was sitting in a chair next to her So it seems as though the possibility of while, across the campus, ambitious, • Insert dividing line (Jap Dot, 1pt) between news stories; ensure there just my sex that’s on fire. father when he looked over and saw flames spontaneous human combustion has gone CV stacking Media Girls gnash pouring from her mouth, “like a dragon, up in flames. Yet one thing has always their teeth in rage and writhe with are no stray lines on completion In 1663, the Danish anatomist Thomas and making a roaring sound.” stumped the scientists. When human jealousy. • Ensure all background boxes, borders and dividing lines exceed col- Bartholin described a situation where a remains are cremated at much higher tem- French woman in Paris was found charred People once thought that SHC could be peratures than that caused by a local fire, umn width and text boxes sit flush with column width and in ashes lying in her bed. The strange caused by everything from too much the pelvic and thigh bones remain intact thing was, the straw mattress that she was alcohol in the body to large amounts of – but in some cases of SHC, even these sleeping on was completely uncharred by stress. Larry Arnold, author of the book large bones have turned to dust, suggest- the fire. Ablaze, wrote that the phenomenon occurs ing that real combustion, not just a gradual because hydrogen and oxygen remain as burning, has taken place. This was the first recorded example of highly flammable gases inside human cells. Prime Minister erect Kevin Rudd having spontaneous human combustion (SHC), This was believed until it was pointed out British science fiction author and inventor lots of orgasms - HONK HONK! where the human body ignites and burns that breathing would therefore become a Arthur C. Charles is perhaps the best person from no external source. Since then, there highly dangerous activity. Richard Milton, to have the last say on the matter: “There’s The 2009 NRL season will draw to a have been 200 recorded cases of this alternative scientist (which just raises the one mystery I’m asked about more than close in the next couple of months. Now, strange phenomenon, although debate question, alternative to what, facts?) puts any other: spontaneous human combus- rather than spreading sexually trans- ranges as to whether it truly exists. forward the theory of a mysterious particle tion. Some cases seem to defy explanation, mitted infections to locations all over called a pyrotron that hits human cells and and leave me with a creepy and very unsci- Australia as teams tour, off-game rec- Spontaneous combustion occurs when a creates a nuclear chain reaction, but this entific feeling. If there’s anything more to reational activities will be concentrated substance starts to release heat through a has been widely disproved by scientists of SHC, I simply don’t want to know.” in more manageable hotbeds of infec- process of oxidation or fermentation. If the regular variety. tion throughout Cronulla, South Sydney the heat cannot escape, the temperature of and Newcastle. Hotel cleaning staff and the substance rises past its ignition point Since most reported cases have happened 17-year-old girls across Australia and and bursts into flames. This process of self- whilst the victim was alone, most have New Zealand have breathed a collective heating can happen in piles of oily rags, been dismissed with the discovery of an sigh of relief.

The Emissions Trading Scheme, in plain English Elizabeth Kelleher takes the temperature of the climate change debate. units known as permits. Liable firms must lished baseline. surrender a permit for every tonne of emis- Turnbull’s scheme promises to reduce sions produced in a given year with surplus emissions by 10 per cent by 2020 with eco- permits to be traded at a price determined nomic growth to be trimmed by only $72 by the market. Rudd’s scheme promises billion while overall job losses of 29 000 an unconditional 5 percent cut in emis- by 2020 are offset by regional gains of 42 sions by 2020 but economic growth will be 000. But the big sell is undoubtedly in the trimmed by $121 billion over 20 years with price of electricity, which rises by only $44 overall job losses of around 37 000. a year in five years.

Transitional assistance will be provided Australia’s emissions would rise under for businesses in the form of the Climate both schemes, but it is worth noting that Change Action Fund, while trade-exposed under Turnbull’s plan our emission would emissions-intensive industries will be able rise a little more. The promised 10 percent to purchase permits at fixed prices. As the cut would be achieved by purchasing extra main source of carbon emissions, coal-fired permits from developing countries which electricity generators will receive a limited is not necessarily a bad thing if you like amount of compensation to offset the in- the idea of paying Papua New Guinea to creased price of doing business. However, protect its forests from illegal loggers. This Keep on truckin’ electricity prices are still expected to rise by does however undermine the principles of Last Tuesday, The Australian published Urging big business to stand up to ‘zero- up to $280 a year in five years with finan- the environmental movement which are a piece by Nationals Senator Ron Boswell carbonites’, Boswell joined in the chorus of cial assistance to be provided for low and at the heart of the public’s support for an which, in my mind, summed up everything conservatives determined to slow the de- middle-income households. ETS. that is wrong with the ETS debate in Aus- velopment of an ETS to a grinding halt. But tralia. Boswell suggested that the ‘demon- whether he likes it or not, Malcolm Turn- The Frontier Economics scheme now Between now and November when the ETS ising’ of Australia’s agriculture and manu- bull has brought an alternative scheme to being touted by Turnbull is something of bill is reintroduced in the Senate Turnbull facturing industries has blinded voters to the table which he says is ‘greener, cleaner a hybrid, retaining the basic principles of will likely try and negotiate an exemption the fact that their jobs and communities and smarter’ than the Government’s plan the Government’s ‘cap and trade’ approach for electricity generators. Whether or not rely on relatively cheap sources of power. and it is worth comparing the two. but proposing a ‘baseline and credit’ the government will be prepared to com- “If that core link escapes them,” he asks, system for electricity generators. While the promise on this core and largely ideologi- “what about when they next have to go to The Rudd Government’s ETS is modeled Government’s scheme requires coal-fired cal issue remains to be seen – we can only the hospital or book their aged parents into on a ‘cap and trade’ scheme which involves electricity generators to buy permits for hope that those in the media let the debate a home...what sick people will suffer?” the Government setting a cap on carbon every tonne of carbon pollution, Turnbull’s move on. pollution and dividing this into tradable scheme would give electricity generators free permits in accordance with an estab- >04 New Arts Dean appointed Band Comp turns 25 Katherine Connolly paints a picture of the Arts Faculty. Michael Krasovitsky tunes in.

Professor Stephen Garton who has been want to bop along like there’s no tomor- Dean for the past eight years. row. Moravia describe themselves as indie/ rock/gospel, a surprisingly accurate way of Professor Ivison describes himself as being explaining their unique sounds and witty “passionate about the role of the humani- lyrics. Four-person band Stephanie Says’ ties and social sciences in our society”. He take on psychedelic rock is sublime, with believes that “there isn’t a challenge we excellent melodies and electronics taking face in the world today that doesn’t require you back to a happier time, a simpler time. the skills and tools honed in our disci- Indie punk band Conditionals make you plines – whether it is climate change, war, want to dance: tight drumming adds to the global poverty, the ethical responsibilities Which band will take out the title? overall playfulness of this group. Finally, of corporations or even the nature of hap- Foveaux combines rock and electronica in piness. Understanding the deep theoreti- This Thursday at 7:00pm, Manning Bar is a surprisingly melodious and understated cal, historical, social-scientific and cultural set to host one of the biggest gigs of their way, a terrific fusion of modern technolo- dimensions of these problems is essential year, the annual USU Band Comp final. gies and old-school techniques. if we are going to address them in a con- Although often dismissed as just another structive way.” next-big-thing drive, the USU Band Comp, The final six this year are some of the Bonjour l’Sydney this year celebrating its 25th Birthday, has strongest bands to have come through As for Ivison’s vision of the future of the been responsible for unearthing some the USU competition, a fitting homage to In late January next year Professor Arts Faculty, he says “one of my ambitions of the biggest talents on the Australian the twenty-five year success of the event. Duncan Ivison will take over as the new in the next few years is for us to reach out music scene. Past winners have included The winner of this year’s Band Comp will Head of the Arts Faculty. Professor Ivison even more energetically and creatively to Josh Pyke, The Vines and Cloud Control. go home with $4750 worth of prizes and currently teaches in Sydney University’s collaborate with other parts of the Univer- A whole range of now-famous bands a whole lot o’ publicity, especially consid- Department of Philosophy. He has previ- sity and with a range of institutions in the have also played and lost the USU Band ering the line up of judges at this year’s ously taught Political Science at the Uni- broader public culture.” Comp. Frenzal Rhomb, Youth Group and competition: ARIA CEO Steven Peach, versity of Toronto, Politics at the Univer- Dappled Cities are just three of the artists Decoder Ring’s Pete Kelly, The Whitlams sity of York and was a Postdoctoral Fellow Also receiving a brand new Dean is the in this great hall of losers. manager Kim Thomas, Dave Batty from at the Research School of Social Sciences Engineering Faculty. Archie Johnston, Custommade Touring, The Vines’ Hamish at the ANU. defecting from our neighbours UTS will This year, the final six come from radically Rosser and Patrick Matthews and Frazer be taking over the faculty in September. different musical genres. Hardcore death- Bourke from Warner Music Group. Ivison grew up in Montreal, where he Johnson has been named one of the 100 metal band Kyu has performed superbly received a BA, then went on to receive an most influential engineers in Australia for well up till now, especially considering Honi wishes the final six all the best of Msc and PhD at the London School of Eco- the part 6 years, and says he is “delighted the high intensity of their style. Rock luck! nomics and Political Science. Ivison is cur- to be with the University of Sydney and band superFLORENCEjam’s lead track, rently head of the School of Philosophical look forward to leading one of the best The Circle, is both catchy and musically and Historical Inquiry, one of four schools Engineering and IT faculties in the world”. playful, with backing vocals making you within the Arts Faculty. He will replace Just wait till he meets the engineers. Robot Miners LECTURER INTERVIEW Henry Hawthorne digs beneath the surface of Australia’s mining industry with Sydney University’s No. 919 Professor Peter Hatherly, Professor of Mining Geophysics within the Australian Centre for Field Robotics.

Can a student of geophysics expect characterising the rocks ahead of mining autonomous manner. to be seeing more coalface or com- operations. Racial puter screen? Where do you think the future of What are the main driving mining in Australia is heading? Prejudice Conventionally, exploration geophys- forces behind developing mining ics, the area of geophysics that I work technology? To me this is a very interesting question. in, is involved in the search for mineral For sure, many people in Australia are and energy resources buried beneath the The world’s population continues to grow, unaware of the global significance the ground surface. Geophysics still involves as does the standard of living. The demand Australian mining industry. Not only is the outdoors, especially while making for resources must therefore continue to Australia a hugely important supplier of measurements and observations but in- grow. While recycling can meet some of minerals and energy, it is also one of the creasingly more geophysicists spend their these demands, we must keep mining as very few countries where the challenging time in the comfort of an office applying well. While some of the world has not been technological questions facing the industry computer techniques to make geological fully explored as far as near-surface mineral can be addressed. sense of survey data. Given the mineral and energy wealth is concerned, it follows I see racist people wealth of Australia, however, we also have that elsewhere, once the near surface de- What does this mean for the many exploration geophysicists involved posits are mined out, deeper mining will be public perception of mining as ‘old Part of our assessment in ‘Cognitive in minerals exploration. required. With deeper mining, the stresses economy’? and Social Psychology’ (PSYC2013) is within the earth get higher, the rocks to analyse the implicit and explicit racial You work in mining. What is behind get hotter and the geological challenges I really don’t understand why mining in prejudice of the 300 or so students (99 that? become more difficult. These are not good Australia is regarded as ‘old economy’ and males, 220 females) in our course. The places to be sending miners. something that we shouldn’t be doing. explicit tests were pretty straightfor- My own work is concerned with the actual There is nothing old economy about ward: we were each asked to rank the mining of minerals, including coal. It is There is now increasing interest in trying providing the raw materials that every appropriateness of a word in describ- one thing to find a deposit but to safely to automate mining activities as much as human on this planet requires, and doing ing the cultural stereotype associated extract it while ensuring that all environ- possible. Intelligent machines with the this through the most sophisticated of with a particular ethnic group. Our class mental, social and financial obligations ability to sense and extract the required engineering implementations. Instead of ranked words such as “dangerous”, are fully met, is a difficult task. If we don’t mineral resources in incredibly hostile knocking our miners, Australians should “aggressive” and “violent” in describ- adequately appreciate the complexity of environments are no longer just a subject be encouraging them and helping them ing Muslims. (Other tutorial groups a particular geological environment and for the writers of science fiction. All around do even better. One of Australia’s unique ranked words such as “alcoholic” and how our mining interacts with it, accidents the world, mining companies are working contributions to the world should be the “drunk” with regard to Aboriginals.) can happen. Fatalities from such accidents to automate the most dangerous of the expertise to properly provide the mineral This test found that most of the students still occur in Australia. My work is directed mining tasks. Within a matter of decades, resources required for future generations. recognised those words to be an accu- towards developing methods for better we expect to see mines operated in a largely rate description of the stereotype sur- rounding Muslims and Aboriginals (not to say that we believed the stereotypes to be valid!)

The second, more novel task was the Booze, dope and sex implicit test. Pretending we were police What more could you want from your weekly science news? Michael Slezak reports. officers, we sat a computer simulation test. Images of people (half of them looking like ‘Muslims’) would flash up Cannabis use “not linked The authors conclude that the causal selves abstainers but reported zero alcohol on screen in with an object randomly to schizophrenia” models linking schizophrenia and canna- consumption. “In a society where use of bis use need to be revisited. alcohol is the norm, abstinence might be placed next to them, the object would either be a gun or something harmless Does smoking marijuana cause schizo- associated with being socially marginal- like a camera. As each image came up phrenia? A new study suggests that the Alcohol abstinence associ- ised,” the authors suggested. on screen, we were given half a second link might not be so clear. ated with depression “Attitudes, not aptitudes to press either ‘E’ (shoot) or ‘I’ (don’t shoot). The test is to then compare the The association with schizophrenia is often Although you might not be able to drink keeping women out of science” speed with which you hit ‘E’ on a Muslim cited as a major risk associated with can- your sorrows away, there is new evidence with a harmless object compared to the nabis use. But Martin Frisher from Keele that alcohol abstainers are at greater risk A new study suggests that while scientific speed with which you shot a non-Muslim University in the UK and co-authors say of both depression and anxiety. ability may be partly genetic, it is not un- also with a harmless object (the greater that many studies thought to provide evenly distributed between sexes. that gap, the greater the bias). Since the evidence of that risk “have failed to distin- A number of studies have found that there images passed by in such rapid succes- guish the direction of association between is a U-shaped association between the level Published in the September edition of The sion, it was near impossible to screen cannabis use and psychosis.” of alcohol consumption and risk of anxiety Journal of Child Psychology and Psychia- and depression. Although heavy drinkers try, the study looked at 3000 pairs of twins out your prejudiced instincts for more socially acceptable responses. “Although using cannabis is associated are the most at risk group, abstainers and in the UK between the ages of 9 and 12. It with a greater risk of developing psycho- low level users are at a greater risk than found that up to 50% of “science excel- As much as we’d rather not admit it, sis, there is also an evidence of increased moderate users. lence” was explained by genetic factors but turns out we were measurably racist. cannabis use following psychosis onset,” found no evidence that the sex of the child We were about 5ms faster to shoot a the study published in Schizophrenia Re- A group of researchers in Norway and the was a relevant factor. Muslim than a non-Muslim and around search says. UK have conducted a study to examine the association. “Although boys and girls do not differ ge- 1ms faster to arrest an Aboriginal per- son than a non-Aboriginal person. So Rather than studying the correlation netically in relation to school science per- much for the post-racial world. between cannabis use and schizophrenia, Their results, recently published in The formance per se, the under-representation this study looks at known trends in can- Journal of Addiction, show that while of women in scientific careers may be due Yaseen Hussain nabis use and compares it to the rates of factors including age, gender, illness and to attitudes rather than aptitudes,” the schizophrenia in the population. socio-economic status explain some of the study says. “Differences in ability are not surprising correlation, these factors do not keeping women out of science, but perhaps Although cannabis use has increased four- fully account for it suggesting that there the best females are choosing alternative fold in the UK between 1972 and 2002, might be a causal link. careers.” there has not been any significant increase in the rates of schizophrenia during the The study found that there were much same period. lower rates of anxiety and depression among people who did not label them-

>06 Arrested Development vs. 30 Rock

the two shows feature an equally charming 30 Rock protagonist, it’s in the supporting cast that Michael Krasovitsky 30 Rock fails to measure up. If this was a poker-derived card game and you put In 2008, Vanity Fair called Tina Fey, the down Tracy, Jenna, Kenneth, Pete, Frank star of 30 Rock, “one of the greatest come- and Jack, I need only raise you Tobias diens of our time”. This year, Rolling Stone Fünke, leaving you with Cerie, Toofer, placed her number 8 on their ‘100 People Josh, Dot Comm, Grizz, Jonathan and a Who Are Changing America List’. Add to pile of arbitrary guest stars, one of whom this a spot in Time magazine’s ‘100 Most I’d like to point out is George Oscar Bluth Influential People of 2009’ list and you himself, Will Arnett. begin to get a picture of the brilliance that is Tina Fey. As Liz Lemon, the fantastic Second-of-ly, unlike 30 Rock, Arrested protagonist of 30 Rock, Tina Fey shines, Development is deeply rewarding. Even on leaving a taste of hilarity in the mouths of my sixth viewing of the show, there were salivating viewers. hidden gags and funny quips I missed the first five times. 30 Rock can never be this Her humour and style are, however, just velopment. In comedy, which other show smart. Its heart beats to the rhythm of its one element of the brilliance of 30 Rock. would be able to traverse the hilarity of a Arrested wide appeal. Let’s start with the performances. Along severely physically and mentally disabled Development with Fey’s perfect comic timing, add Alec Hapsburg prince’s attempts at love with Third, even though Arrested Development Baldwin. Now we all know that Alec is, of such grace? In a more critical light, what Sertan Saral had a liberal slant, it was so deft with its the four Baldwin’s, probably in the top two other show would be able to comment on sleight of hand that the politics never felt funny ones. But, Baldwin is not only funny issues in the African-American commu- In The Prestige by Christopher Priest, shoehorned in. Jack Donaghy won’t shut in 30 Rock: he inhabits Jack Donaghy’s nity such as in-fighting with as much wit there’s a 3-step fictional method of per- up about being a Republican, but the persona perfectly, from every hilarious jab and insight? The real beauty of 30 Rock forming illusions: the setup, the perform- Bluths, well, they’re a metaphor for the to every touch of sentimentality. All the is that you can take whatever you’d like ance and the prestige. I’m approaching Bush administration: George Sr. is Bush, minor characters are played with perfect from it: if you’re looking for a laugh, you this in that spirit with three arguments: the wife Lucille is Cheney, son Michael is Colin finesse, especially lovable mamma’s boy can find it; if you’re looking for critique of backhand, the smackdown and the blow Powell and so on. Kenneth, played by Jack McBrayer. modern America, the show abounds with your mind, favouring Arrested Develop- references. ment over 30 Rock. I win. Go clean yourself up, kiddo. The story lines of 30 Rock are also com- pletely superior to those of Arrested De- Plus the theme song kicks arse. First of all, let’s talk about characters. While

We report. You smirk smugly. black! Who knew?”

The Duke of Edinburgh, Lord of Gaffeshire, Prince Phillip was up to his usual cranky old man antics at a recent Buckingham Palace Garden party. He struck up a conversation with one of the 8,000 royalist butt- kissers in attendance, and upon learning the guest was a designer, the Prince retorted, “Well, you didn’t design your beard too well, did you? You really must try better.” A Buck- ingham Palace spokesperson com- mented with relief, “We’re just glad he didn’t say anything racist! Oh, and we don’t comment on private conversations. Unless there’s a book Seamless. Except the hand on the desk. deal in it.”

Microsoft’s latest ad campaign, “Empower your people”, features a group of ethnically Kansas Republican, Lynn Jenkins, was diverse corporate types grinning happily talking about the future of the Republican with their slick Microsoft products. Mi- Party in a town hall meeting when she crosoft posted this ad on their US website, declared that in order to thwart the evil and the same ad appeared on their Polish Democratic policies of Barack Obama, website – but this time, the black man’s the GOP had to look for a “great white face had been replaced by a white face. hope”. To clarify, Jenkins explained she Worse still, was that the colour of his hand was invoking original use of the phrase remained unchanged. Microsoft issued – having Obama in the White House was an apology, explaining, “Our Polish cam- kind of like that time black boxer Jack paign was obviously botched. Not only Johnson defeated a white boxer, Tommy because the guy’s hand was left black, but Burns, to become heavyweight champion the tagline on our Polish campaign should in 1908. Back then, commentator Jack read: ‘Empower your white people’. You London called for a “great white hope” to see, it’s Polish people who are the racist defeat Johnson, and in so doing, coined ones, not us! We live in post-race America. the phrase. It’s not really like that though. We didn’t even notice the error because Jenkins has been offered a job heading ad- we’re colour-blind to race! What? Obama’s vertising at Microsoft HQ in Poland.

>07 GOT A RUMOUR? Towards an [email protected] Australian Republic

Ollie Bolton, Josh Himbury, Matthew Geoffrey Robertson’s text, The Tyran- Kalyck and Tori Grimshaw. Current Vice nicide Brief challenged a nice Anglican President Social Justice Hannah Quadrio is world that would see faith as ‘tea with the putting together a team that so far includes vicar’. Robertson noted that a Christian- Naomi Hart and Joe Payten. Current Presi- ised political order may be vicious. Charles dent May Samali pointed out to Honi that II’s actions against those who tried and this is the first year in recent memory that executed his father (Charles I) expressed both potential tickets have been headed by blood-revenge, and expressed the power women. of his throne in the face of kingly non- existence. In the last two elections, nascent opposition tickets were formed but eventually implod- The sentence ‘hanged, drawn and quar- ed. SULS elections are given to mergers, tered’ applied to John Cook and others and tickets are often selected from a small invites the question ‘Was this a Chris- group of people who have already had ex- tianised or even civilized use of Law, let perience on the Executive. alone of a death penalty?’ It was theatre of There’s trouble below the surface at Victoria Park Photo: Craig Boustred cruelty. The deaths of these men exceeded in horror the crucifixion of Jesus. If given discarded longnecks in militia leader Ryan Verge of nothing the choice – crucifixion or ‘hanged, drawn DuckWatch Gosling’s reed compound, used to make There was a conspicuous no-show from the and quartered’ no human being would molotov cocktails. Union Board Directors at last week’s Verge choose the latter. For too long. Honi has sat idly by, gagged Program Launch Party; not a single one by bureaucracy, hushed by large sums of “Bipartisanship is tearing this pond apart”, of the eleven current Directors attended, Robertson laments that the English money discreetly handed to us in silver, if said ombudsman Samuel Eel Jackson, leaving General Manager of the Union political imagination is tied to the Glori- not slightly damp briefcases. speaking at the funeral of the father of Alistair Cowie to give the opening speech in ous Revolution of 1689 when William of three. “I don’t care if you’re left wing or their place. Neither, it turns out, did Patrick Orange is invited by Parliament to become But we cannot conscionably write about right wing, at the end of the day, you need Bateman, President of the Union, write the William III. William supplants Charles’ petty happenstances like law society execu- two wings to fly.” opening statement attributed to him in the successor, the Catholic James II who is tives and no-show Board Directors, when Verge Festival program. It was written by deemed to have abdicated. The Monarchy real and dangerous political manoeuvring With journalist Feather Locklear still re- an anonymous Union staffer. lived on. Robertson emphasizes the lost is afoot, webbed or otherwise. We are of ported missing, and authorities banning opportunities of the post civil war period course talking about the coup in Myall the paper Pondy Soit, there are fears that when Cromwell was unable to effect rule Lake, Victoria Park, following the assas- their power extends to censoring university A frothing via the order of a Parliament with dis- sination of conservative party leader Mike publications we refuse t- controversy tributed power, nor via a demos of voices Duckabee in his nest on Monday night. in a Christianised republic. Charles II is Azzuri’s, seller of the best coffee on campus, ‘necessary’ but no Catholic monarch could “Such fair and fowl a day I have not seen” Tortured SULS has been forced to qualify that statement ever be admitted. said Danish prince Quackbeth, who had on a sign at the cafe’s entrance. Honi was The SULS election is drawing near and Honi flown here for the unseasonably warm shocked to find the word “best” had been is pleased that there is likely to be some One waits for the American Revolutionary weather and witnessed the grisly murder. modified with surrounding quotation long-overdue competition, since the last War to find a kind of religious order that marks, when clearly no such marks are nec- two years have seen uncontested elections. transcends denominational conflicts to Police suspect that this is the work of essary. Perhaps other areas of Sydney Uni A ticket headed by current Socials Director move to a shared demos, democracy and radical militia group, the VicPark Victors. should follow their lead and qualify their Alison Cranney includes Richard Sawyer, rule. This is without mon-archy. It pre- Their campaigns for equal distribution own “grand” statements. The “Education” Anna Shelton-Agar, Camilla Green, Mario sumed a distinction between the power of of bread have ruffled feathers in recent Building? Theatre “Sports”? The Student’s Emmanuel, Eliza Forsyth, Tom Kaldor, faith and the power of the State. months, with police finding a collection of “Representative” Council? In Britain, Herodian conflict between William III and James II is not settled until 1746 when Butcher Cumberland Do it... with a blatant ad (the twenty five year old son of William Chris Salvemini goes longer, and stronger. III’s successor George II), slaughters the largely highland army of James II’s suc- Unless you’re clinically blind, you will Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they The idea of writing on a background is cessor ‘Bonnie Prince Charlie’. Only with have undoubtedly noticed gargantuan extended the ad campaign to subliminal really ground-breaking; but then again, I the Catholic Emancipation Act of 1829 are yellow billboards popping up everywhere messages, permanently burning the red wouldn’t really like to see an illustration of British Catholics as citizens re-set on the tastefully putting forward a pressing text on yellow background onto your what the product does. Imagine if instead same social footing as Protestants in civic question of our time: ‘WANT LONGER retina. of focusing on muesli bars and toilet paper matters - save becoming Monarch. LASTING SEX?’. Recently, this signage varieties, Brand Power does a plug for has been replaced with the much more Worse still are the radio announcements this. A ‘Before’ and ‘After’ shot would be In Australia, the British Monarchy in its subtle euphemism, ‘MAKING LOVE? on oldies’ radio stations (especially talk- particularly illustrative of the nasal spray’s benign but powerful symbolic form can DO IT… LONGER’, allegedly because the back ones) flogging nasal sprays and other effects. And to put the icing on the cake be re-considered as the appropriate form word ‘sex’ aroused public disapproval. I forms of aphrodisiacs to cure erectile they’d get some old celebrity with cred- for our political order. Do we want to take mean, surely they don’t mean ‘sex’ by ‘it’, dysfunction, premature ejaculation and ibility like Bert Newton or Ian Hewitson on in a new way the burdens and privi- do they? female impotency - seemingly everything to plug it. leges of power fully distributed among but family-related awkwardness. So, the populace who then work in perpetuity However, this is not the heart of the issue. you’re left with one option, and one option Despite all of this, we have a little to be to guard her order, increase Australia’s I’m sure I’m not alone in saying these only: both you and your parents ignore the thankful for: at least our friends at AMI greatness, treasure her stability, generos- conspicuous monuments proclaiming our ads altogether, even though deep down haven’t gone to the extent of installing ity, restraint, goodness and good works society’s sexual impotency cause you to you can’t help but imagine hordes of frail loudspeakers on their billboards blaring in the world? Within that vision of a new cringe whenever you drive past with your specimens over the age of 80 queuing up out the hit song ‘You Raise Me Up’ or the Republic, good religion will be vital but dad in the car. This is worsened by their for these things at AMI. Doors’ ‘Been Down So Long’ on loop. neither Monarch nor President will be an ubiquity: these ghastly billboards are ap- official Defender of the Faith. pearing everywhere ranging from outside Another issue I have with these titanic petrol stations to special vantage points eyesores is their complete and utter GOT A BEEF? like the sides of buildings, just in case you lack of creativity. Imagine if all ads were [email protected] Dr Ivan Head missed the other eight on the way to uni. as in-your-face as this particular one. St Paul’s College Warden

>08 Latham’s Lament The Humanity Bill William Harris lets Latham throw stones from his glass house. Anna Solar-Bassett investigates Geoffrey Robertson’s reasons for an Australian Bill of Rights. general public as a useless failure, we are still stuck with him.

As Annabel Crabbe has reported, his week- ly column in the Australian Financial Re- view has attacked the likes of Kevin Rudd, Wayne Swan, and more recently, Julia Gillard. Whilst these figures all deserve to be attacked, Latham is perhaps the least qualified person in this country to make these criticisms. He has criticised Gil- lard’s stance on education, but was himself widely attacked for suggesting “baseless” education reforms. He has also written of Rudd’s economic weakness, though was himself seen as economically unsound, if not dangerous. It’s Mabo, it’s the vibe... Indeed, it would be more appropriate for Geoffrey Robertson: advocate extraordi- Pentagon’s secret intelligence database. a toothless bogan, with no concept of what naire, Rhodes Scholar, QC, former USYD foreign policy is, to make these criticisms, SRC President. The human rights barris- Indeed, the Bill of Rights debate is cur- than for Mark Latham, a man who has ter par excellence, Robertson has been in rently in full swing within the Australian proven time and time again that he is as Australia this month discussing the pos- legal landscape, with the recent call for competent as the British Intelligence are at sibility of introducing a Bill of Rights into recommendations on the subject receiving Pull my finger. facebook. the Australian political landscape. Julian over 12,000 submissions. Burnside, a lawyer who exclusively takes When asked what is the greatest political This political failure, widely accepted as Australian human rights cases, introduced First is the issue of the constricting nature failure of this country, some will respond such the world over, needs to accept that Robertson, who went on to speak as part of of Bills of Rights once they are endorsed. with the removal of Gough Whitlam. Oth- he is a forgotten relic of the past, and that the Fringe program of Labour’s 45th Con- One needs only to look to the USA for ers will suggest the White Australia policy, if anyone deserves their political super- ference to a room of well-tippled comrades examples of how a Bill of Rights enshrine or the invasion of Iraq. These all seem annuation to be reduced, as he once told ready to be inspired with a rallying war cry values that may be out of touch with the valid, but I urge you, think more recently. parliament was essential for ‘keeping the from one of their most vocal and verbose ever-changing realities of contemporary Howard? Beazley? The truth of the matter bastards honest’, it is him. Yet he is still supporters. life (the FBI’s estimated 200 million pri- is that this country’s greatest political fail- publishing articles that sell his only politi- vately owned guns in the USA, anyone?) ure was, indeed, Mark Latham. cal friends short for no apparent reason, Mr. Robertson pondered on common argu- Mr. Robertson feels that his “time spent other than some narcissistic, self-mastur- ments against a Bill of Rights, his favourite with the SRC gave him the original convic- For those who trusted and confided in him batory ritual performed before he assaults being that it would give more power to tion of the importance of tempering the as leader, a cold knife to the back was just another taxi driver. reward. Latham’s profile of political faux- minorities (“how shocking!” he mockingly law, and the judging of it, with humanity,” cried). Another fear is that it would create and this is why he is against the “usual pas cannot be underestimated. We’re Please, Mark, give it a rest. talking about the man who failed to issue a system that would be a lawyer’s feast - claptrap” regarding judicial activism, a statement following the Boxing Day Tsu- “let’s think of the reality of the number of complaining that unelected judges, not nami, hoping that it would just “blow over”. lawyers flocking to do draining and unpaid politicians, make policy decisions within He was accused of punching a political op- human rights advocacy, regardless of the judgments. Mr. Burnside is in idealist who ponent, and was consistently accused of framework in place for bringing those believes in the “continuing relevance of the We want your cases.” He referenced recent cases in the standards set by” international law and the employing bullying tactics both within his LETTERS ARTICLES party and in Parliament. Latham consis- & USA as examples of why a framework of “importance of importing” it into Austral- tently failed to meet up to his role as leader So send ‘em in protection needs to be in place, from the ian jurisdictions, going against the ‘realist’ of the Opposition. shock of the widely publicised Abu Ghraib argument of law drawing its legitimacy [email protected] abuse, to the relatively unknown case of from sovereign borders. However, what makes this whole situa- Washington pursuing a sentence of up to Submissions must include your tion just plain insulting is that, despite the name, year and faculty. sixty years jail against a young boy with Ultimately, however, it remains that Aus- implosion of his government campaign in Asperger’s Syndrome whose mathemati- tralia is the last Western democracy not to 2004, and despite being branded by the cal and mental gifts led him to hack the have a Bill of Rights. Student media: a ‘crisis’ of epic proportions? The Sydney Morning Herald journalist and former Honi Editor Lisa Pryor looks to the future of this paper.

advertising revenues, and so many bloggers Sydney Uni, student culture is trapped in are willingly doing their thing without any the past, paralysed by nostalgia. There is so revenue whatsoever. Even James Murdoch much looking backwards, especially to the has been whinging about how hard News sixties, for inspiration. Too many people Corporation has it, having to compete with wonder how they can shape themselves outlets like the BBC, which is blessed with into a Germaine Greer or a Clive James government funding. rather than sweeping away the past and finding new ways of doing things. So student publications are well positioned to flourish in the coming media apocalypse. In the hope of sweeping away some of this Especially given that they have another nostalgia, I have a couple of tiny sugges- quality, other than independent funding, tions for how a publication like Honi might which is expected to help survival in the start to move with the times. new media landscape: university newspa- pers are hyper-local, with a focus on the First tip: Honi tickets should not feature interests and doings of the community that a monoculture of wordsmiths. Why not they serve, qualities which cannot be easily include students with an expertise in web replicated by generic internet news. development and a passion for design, to encourage experimentation with form and Are student publications making the most technology? The glory days? of these fortunate circumstances? Sadly no. As the outside media has changed over the Second tip: use the internet to give student Student media plays an important role state of crisis” in student media was recent- decades, publications like Honi Soit, with journalists a presence in public debates in our society. Without university news- ly the theme of a forum at this Uni, perhaps its smudgy black and white newsprint, and give student media a profile beyond papers, students who travel to Bhutan or because it is impossible to talk about any- have remained remarkably consistent, the campus. Even something as simple as Columbia during the summer break may thing to do with universities without every with little online presence. My god, when republishing the best opinion pieces from not have an outlet for their musings and Pavlov and his dog yelping something I was working on Honi, only a decade ago, the paper on a site like www.onlineopin- holiday snaps. Nor would student editors about “crisis” and “funding”. we hardly even used email and submis- ion.com.au would be a start. have a decent excuse for ringing up musi- sions were still dropped in a small wooden cians who they think are really, really cool, Personally I feel that those with an interest box at the door of the office. Better still, ignore my tips completely, under the guise of conducting a serious in student media have heaps of reasons to dismiss me as an old hack trying to relive interview. feel sunny right now. Having any funding University students should be on the my student days by writing in a university at all is a blessing in an era when commer- cutting edge of the changes that are hap- newspaper, and do something way better In spite of this vital, continuing role, “the cial media organisations face dwindling pening in society but so often, especially at than I could ever dream up. Much Ado About Avenue Q

With songs like ‘What do you do with a B.A. about how they started writing this show in English?,’ ‘The Internet is for Porn’ and over a burger and a beer in a diner some- ‘Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist’, Avenue Q is where. They certainly never imagined that set to scandalise and sensationalise Sydney it would become an off-Broadway show, a audiences as it commences its run of shows Broadway show and now an international at the Theatre Royal. Dave Mack chatted show so I think it’s exciting it got that far with actor and puppeteer Natalie Alexo- really. polous to see how many times they could use the word ‘puppet’ in one interview. Do you think the show loses any of its heart in being performed outside of NYC? For those who haven’t seen the show, can you walk them through what vis- No, I don’t think so. In Australia we’re iting Avenue Q is like? greatly influenced by American TV. Taking the Sesame Street characters and placing Well, most people seem to be describing them on Bondi Beach would have been it as a cross between The Muppets and more of a shock to the system than that South Park and that seems to bring to New York street scene that we all grew up We’re the pupeteers, you can be one too! mind pretty much what you are going to with. That said, we’ve adjusted a few ref- see. Basically, Avenue Q is a musical and enough to say ‘Fuck’ and go out and get on stage never look at us on stage as pup- erences, a few words here and there that some of the residents of Avenue Q are drunk on Long-Island Ice Teas, that when peteers – they look at the puppets… It’s don’t quite play here in Australia. puppets and some of them are human. It’s the puppet is being sincere and heartbro- actually quite funny because there will be a musical that is all about tolerance and ken I think that you’ve been taken so far by moments when you might catch the eye of On the technical side, how many respect and understanding what it’s like them the other way that when they’re being another puppeteer and it’s really strange puppets are floating around back- to be twenty-something and growing up serious you really feel for them. and awkward and you feel like you’ve done stage? They have some quick and not getting what you need and want all something wrong. Seen them in their un- costume changes! the time and learning to be OK with that. You play Mrs. Thistletwat as well as derwear or something! It’s amazing how Mixed in there is a lot of political incorrect- one of the ‘Bad Idea Bears’ – much we invest just in the puppets. Somebody asked me this the other day and ness and comedy and a few drunken nights I should have checked. There are two of Yeah, they’re very cute and fluffy but they I’ve read that your run is scheduled each of the lead puppets… and one puppet have suggestions like, ‘You should buy a to June 2010. How do you feel about for each of the minor characters. There case of beer because you’re on a budget spending a year with puppets? would be over twenty puppets. They have and you’ll be better off in the long run by their little quick-change booth. We have buying in bulk.’ You saw them! I think eve- Well, I’ve grown fond of them actu- a puppet wrangler and a costume lady ryone has either been a Bad Idea Bear at some time in their life or knows Bad Idea Bears who have influenced them.

You studied at the Western Austral- ian Academy of Performing Arts (WAAPA). How easy was it to trans- late what you learnt there as an actor to what you do in Avenue Q?

Brand Power, helping you buy better! It was a fine balance at first. Anyone from the show will tell you that it’s been an in- and some ‘Bad Idea Bears’ and a bit of teresting experience because you haven’t puppet sex but there’s also a really beauti- been able to rely on your old tricks. You ful, tender heart to the show which I think learn a bag of tricks as an actor and you is what sets it apart from just naughty cra- kind of feel comfortable in knowing that ziness – there’s actually a beautiful story to you can portray an emotion or sing a song No one likes you Dave - you’re such a muppet. be told as well. or play a scene based on what you’ve got in your repertoire as an actor, but then sud- ally. They’re quite special. I think everyone who have to run around changing their I was quite surprised by that to be denly we had to throw all those tricks away grows attached to their little puppets. It’s costumes and fluffing their hair. It’s quite honest. and work out how we could portray that a great show and it’s a great company and cute. There’s a whole little rack backstage emotion or make a scene funny through the response is so brilliant. People are of their costumes hanging up! We just A lot of people are! They expect to go and our little, furry friends. really touched by what they’ve seen and dress ourselves! just be shocked by seeing puppets have sex a lot of people are coming to us saying, or swear or talk about racism and porn but It was a steep learning curve, but we all ‘That was just so good! I had so much fun. Thanks for chatting to Honi. Break a they’re shocked that there’s a really gor- really took to it I think. We had some I haven’t laughed, relaxed, kicked back like leg for the rest of the run! geous story through out as well. amazing people helping us along the way for ages.’ and I think the show itself is so well written Thanks! I hope to see lots of students in the Songs like ‘There’s a Fine, Fine that it kind of just works. The show’s Broadway run closes on audience as I think the uni demographic Line’ and other ballads – there’s September 13. How do the Aussie would just love this show. It’s so relevant something quite hilarious on paper What differences are there in cast feel about starting up while the for that age group – anyone from twenty to about a puppet pouring its heart out working with a puppet and working original production is closing? forty because that’s the age of the charac- in ballad but we really come to feel with a prop or piece of costume? ters. It’s all about what they’re struggling to for the little creatures. Why do you Well, they’ve been running for about get to and finding their purpose in life. think we get hooked in so well? It’s really different because you’re there to seven or eight years so it’s kind of a testa- serve the puppet. The puppet has to tell the ment to how strong the show is that it ran I think because you invest so much in them story. They’re not an accessory, they’re the for that long. When Jeff Marx, one of the Avenue Q is currently playing at the from the beginning. If the puppet is human story. So the actors that play the humans co-creators, was over here, he was talking Theatre Royal.

>11 PORING THROUGH THE HISTORY OF SYDNEY UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT POLITICS, SRIRAM SRIKUMAR REFLECTS ON THE SYSTEM THAT HAS PRODUCED SOME OF THE LEADERS OF AUSTRALIAN POLITICS. DESPITE A LONG LIST OF ILLUSTRIOUS ALUMNI, IT IS A SYSTEM WHICH HAS DISPLAYED A TENDENCEY TO BE STUCK IN THE PAST - FROM THE KINDS OF STUDENTS IT ENGAGES THROUGH TO THE KIND OF ISSUES AND POLICIES THAT IT DISCUSSSES. THIS WEEK’S FEATURE EXAMINES THE TIME THAT THE LIKES OF TONY ABBOTT AND JOE HOCKEY SPENT IN OUR SRC AND PONDERS THE ROLE OUR DISTINCITVELY ACTIVE STUDENT POLITICAL COMMUNITY HAS IN SHAPING FUTURE LEADERS.

cians, not to mention media personalities or monitoring academic policies that such as the Chaser boys. This is largely the SRC does in fact engage in. a product of a very politically active student culture on campus. More so than An even more striking demographic any other university, we have a vibrant, feature of this list of alumni is the lack well funded and diverse collection of of women. In an institution as old as political clubs that add to the campus’ ours, where the legacy stretches back political landscape. From the ideologi- into an era where equality of genders cally defined Labor and Liberal clubs or was never a priority, this is arguably the Socialist Alternative to the neutral predictable. There’s always bound to Politics Society and publications such be more men than women. This seems as The Globalist, there is no shortage of like a sensible explanation, if not for two outlets for political discussion. As much facts. First, the sheer size of the gap - in as interested students are drawn to this common lists of famous alumni from our culture, this culture engages students. University, there are barely ten women listed in comparison to dozens of men. The downside of this political infrastruc- Also, it’s been well over 40 years since ture is that it engages a particular type of the feminist revolution - Australia has With over 67 tickets running for SRC of Australia and President of the UN student. Our current SRC president tells its fair share of powerful female politi- (compared to 27 last year) and seven General Assembly, helping to draft the of how he got involved in campus politics: cians, lawyers, judges, businesspeople SRC tickets running to edit Honi (there Universal Declaration of Human Rights. and so forth, just not many from USYD. were two last year), this year’s election Perhaps more famously, Michael Kirby “I got politicised in Year 11 or 12 It’s difficult to pinpoint why this is the promises three weeks of mayhem. Aside was an active student politician who was when the whole refugee crisis was case but it’s a trend which begins in from the hundreds of students running to president of both the Union and the SRC. such a big issue and other stuff like student politics - female SRC Presidents be elected, thousands will participate in He also did a few undergrad degrees WorkChoices and the Iraq War were are clearly in the minority and female some way or the other: handing out pam- and spent over a decade on campus, so really making the news... When I got Board Directors of our Union often only phlets, putting up posters or just wearing it’s possible that he wasn’t cool till his to uni, on the first day of O-Week, reach that position due to an affirmative a campaign shirt around campus. The later years. The infamous alumni of the I spoke to all the political clubs.” action policy. This is particularly surpris- intensity and enthusiasm behind this student political process is seemingly ing given that students are regarded process is - for better or for worse - endless; politicians Joe Hockey, Belinda Those who choose to get involved in to be the forefront of social change. unique to USYD and has helped define Neal, Tony Abbott and others were SRC student politics overwhelmingly tend to our university’s image and reputation. presidents in their time at uni, along with be those who have passionate convictions SHAPING BELIEFS co-editor of Oz magazine, Richard Walsh. about national and social issues. This Far from being just being a pavestone in ATTRACTING THE BEST? situation goes a long way in explain- the path to senior politics, the University A striking feature of the student political This list shouldn’t be so surprising - ing why a lot of former SRC members seems to play an instrumental role in process at our University has been its those that are interested in a career of and presidents tend to continue into shaping the politics and philosophy of tendency to turn seemingly bland student politics and public service are likely to a political field rather than any other our national leaders. Indeed, one of the politicians into Australia’s leading politi- find student politics interesting and be vocation. It also provides one explanation more fascinating parts of researching cians, lawyers and media personalities. involved. Yet, USYD alumni contribute of why campus political campaigns are this feature was to find articles, reports H.V. Evatt was a feature of the student disproportionately to the list of Austral- often dominated by broad ideological and letters that show early signs of the political scene in his time here in the ia’s political and cultural elite: five Prime battles between left and right rather than ideological convictions our politicians early 1900s and subsequently went on Ministers, Governors, Premiers, count- the nitty gritty, more mundane student would come to follow. In reaction to to become a judge on the High Court less High Court judges and senior politi- business such as lobbying departments a handbook produced by the SRC for

>12 O-Week, the SRC President at the of volunteers and all the moral support trapped in attempting to emulate the time rails against the left wing politics they need - thereby allowing those who great names of previous generations. It evident in it and the broader SRC: otherwise who couldn’t (in some cases, argues that given the political successes shouldn’t) run a chance to do so. and activist glamour of students in the “The SRC’s money provides a political 1960s, campus politicians are merely infrastructure devoted to the Marxist hob- SAME, SAME - BUT DIFFERENT copycatting, with little regard to the byhorses of ultra militant feminism, ho- One of the most conspicuous elements concerns of the student body. The true mosexual proselytism, and environmen- in the modern history of student explanation may lay somewhere in the talism gone to crazy lengths. [...] What politics on our campus is the way that middle. Feminism, Australian foreign always strikes me...is their air of right- a constant set of issues have been policy and other political concerns are eousness, as if all they contain is sweetest constantly repackaged and fervently being newly learnt by some members of reason, and their complacent, arrogant argued about. A definitive set of argu- each generation, who take it up as their assumption that most students actually ments - student fee structures, feminism concern. And the inertia of the SRC’s believe the nonsense they peddle.” and Australian foreign policy - make political reputation and institutions many appearances through the decades. constantly engage these students over The report is signed “Yours, Tony others, leading to the view of the SRC Abbott”. It almost makes you like the Of these, it is the arguments over as an irrelevant body. One full of Prime man. Of course, given his future political feminism and gender rights which make Ministerial aspirants who view the career, one is more inclined to believe the most numerous appearances in Honi, council as a self-styled world parliament. that his contempt stemmed less from through SRC reports and articles contrib- the SRC’s self-righteousness and more uted by the student body. While (argua- Exactly these concerns spark a conversa- because he just doesn’t like lefties that bly) outside the limited power of the SRC tion about the fundamental role of the much. During his term in 1979, President to change, the stances of student politi- SRC and Honi in almost every campaign. Abbott persistently called for the instate- cians on women’s rights provoke heated Just as with other policy issues, this ment of voluntary student unionism and arguments. A letters section in 1987 has conversation traces a clear-cut dichotomy floated ideas of splitting the SRC into its odd echoes of reactions to this year’s that is defended staunchly and stub- service provision components and activ- Women’s officer reports when it says: bornly by each side. One group who sees ism components, arguing that too much the SRC as its voice to end oppression of the SRC infrastructure was devoted “The content was extreme, unrealistic and save the world, the other as one who toward political ends. President Abbott and irrelevant enough to insult any see its role as exclusively limited to the had a busy year, also getting attention decent student’s intelligence.” nebulous world of “student issues”. and much flack for getting the Women’s Room locked up and preventing its use. The tone of the letter – and the article It’ll be refreshing when bodies such as it is responding to - is representative the SRC attract those who aren’t merely There’s no doubt that many students of much of the content on this topic: it concerned with national and world come to student politics with their swings from desperate pleas through politics - but rather those with a manage- own ideology, agenda and convictions. to barely contained rage. Throwing any rial or cultural flair that’s truly original. Students have often run independent concept of nuance or subtlety out the of support from official political fac- window, the SRC’s officers, members While the notable alumni are to be proud tions - such campaigns have become and presidents along with the editors of of, their almost exclusive concentra- particularly popular in recent years Honi and the general student body have tion in the world of political affairs is a with many Union Board Directors and frequently engaged in argument so para- reflection of our system and the kinds of recent Honi teams being elected on a noid and sensational that it would put students it is able to engage. Perhaps it is platform of independence. As in the case American cable news to shame. Follow- this exact imperative which has made it of WHIGS on campus some have formed ing the publication of an interview and politically viable for candidates to run on entirely new political organisations. The accompanying article in the 1980s that a platform of independence, despite the founding member of this organisation condemned the African National Con- financial burden it places on individual claims, however, that he has no interest gress for being corrupt, the pages of Honi candidates who then have to put up in organised politics though he admits exploded with accusations that the Honi their own money to fund the campaign. to Honi, “I also said the same (and still editors (and the SRC for allowing it to go do say the same) about student poli- to print) being in support of apartheid. For now, it is in such a political scene tics”, despite being actively involved to Tony Abbott railed against this political - dominated by recycled arguments, or- this day and being a regular fix in this element of the SRC and often called ganised political clubs and a climate over- publication’s ‘Rumour Mill’ pages.” for the separation of its political and whelmingly supportive of student politics service activities - claiming that political - that people such as John Howard There’s also no doubt that the University activism can be run on a non-funded were educated and influenced. It makes shapes those views - partly because basis. His former Cabinet colleague and you wonder whether those students we people pass through university at a ex-President of the SRC, Joe Hockey put rudely ignore, complain about and boo formative stage in their lives and partly it a little more colourfully when he stated: out of our lectures will go on to shape our because university presents the avenues lives and be worthy of our admiration. to test and explore their views. Estab- “It is at times like this that one wonders lished political factions play a large part just whether Honi Soit is a NEWSpaper Which is just another way of saying, in determining and shaping political or a front for political masturbation.” maybe today’s leaders were also ideology. Noah White, SRC President annoying, self-righteous attention and member of the NLS faction, argues Why is it that our politics feel like seekers when they were at uni. that membership in these organisations groundhog day? Prior to the 1960s, has much the same impact as any social the SRC barely had anything to say on grouping - you inform each other’s think- many of these issues. Obviously, one ing and influence each other’s politics. explanation is that the women’s rights The presence and influences of these movement and the empowerment of factions is an indisputably large factor in students as political actors didn’t really most of our elections and will prove to be occur till the 1960s, from which time one again in this election. These factions they’ve remained central to the concerns give many candidates a readymade of students. A second explanation argues electioneering machine, dedicated band that students and student politicians So next time you curse Batman’s name league,” she added, a faint smile forming That Batman for recklessly destroying your house, or on her lips. Sure is Great for being a “psychotic killer hell bent on revenge and little else” just think, he might Reportedly, he was known to have gazed (Whoever He be a little closer to you than you think... at her from across the room, and was at MISS AUSTRALIA What do you mean they can’t see me wink? the time of the incident completing an Is). We Should What? I’m Bruce Wayne you fuck, no don’t acrostic poem based on the girl’s name. Just Let Him Be. write that down. What are you doing? No, it’s got to read like I’m... Y’know what? It’s fine, just send it like it is. It’s fine. Experts Agree, Bruce Wayne Men Wearing Attractive Stage Make-up Girl Ignores “Unnerving” Male, Delights Alex Lee Onlookers With three revues over and more on their Joe Payten way, it has been hard to miss a disturbing trend in young men treading the boards: stage makeup. Whilst Sydney’s drag community have perfected the craft of artful and daring makeup feats on men, these amateur attempts are proving to be troubling.

Miss Australia plots her revenge. Don’t touch the belt. Anna James, 17, was one of the first unlucky people to witness this macabre August 20th It’s not often that I get to write an editorial sight as she sat in the front row of the York Best. News. Everrrrrr! Just heard some column for this prestigious newspaper, but Theatre last Wednesday night. betting agency has me as the favourite to given that I own it, I feel that in many ways, win this thing!!! Awesome!!! First, obvi- I can do whatever I want. Acknowledging ously, duh I’m the favourite. I’m kicking the rarity of my being published, you can ass over here. I may be starving, tired and assume I am here to talk about a matter homesick - and FUCK these other girls of grave importance, and I am. Here it is: are irritating - but I’m bringing home the That Batman sure is great, we should just crown baby, and everyone will be all “Jen- let him be. I’d rather look at myself. nifer who?? We heart Rachael!!!” Second, the news totally has everyone Seriously guys, everyone should just chill A number of onlookers and passers-by at spewing. Miss Iceland was giving me the out. I mean, here’s a guy who literally a University classroom yesterday were re- cold shoulder all afternoon, and Miss USA risks his life to keeps criminal afraid for portedly filled with delight when a young was all shocked and awed, and launched their lives in the dead of night. So what if and aesthetically unappealing male with a pre-emptive attack by spending literally his methods don’t suit your close-minded low self-esteem was ignored by an attrac- hours in the gym. Miss France just sort of ideas of “a fair trial” and “guilty until tive female co-student. Kiss and makeup. waved the white flag, and curled up in a proven innocent” – he’s just trying to help, ball. because maybe he wasn’t loved as a child The amusing rebuff occurred at approxi- “It was...awful” she said, clutching a Anyway, I really gotta go, diary, need and he’s seeking approval from the city he mately 11:03 am, as roughly two-dozen thermos of hot tea with a blanket as she to read up on material re World Peace. considers his family. My point is, he’s only students stood outside a classroom await- recovered with other victims in a spe- Apparently there’s some situation in the hurting bad guys, so why can’t we just let ing their tutor’s arrival. It was then that cially set up emergency tent outside the Middle West, or East or someplace, which him be? Ladies, don’t recoil at his touch the class members noticed the hunched Seymour Centre after the show. might make the World Peace answer seem after he saves you. He’s not creepy. He’s and feeble student nervously approach the a little ignorant… God as if I care!! Bring- heroic. You could thank him by buying attractive girl, and the surrounding crowd “The faces were everywhere, there were ing home the crown!! Hell yeah!! him dinner, or just hanging around to chat were quickly alerted so that they could all just so many of them. Leering at me and after he rescues you from the fucking Joker. partake in the imminent hilarity. dancing and pulling these grotesque faces August 23rd I’m just saying, that I, Bruce Wayne, think at the end of every sketch after ...what did Venezuela???!!! Are you kidding me??!!! Batman’s a pretty good guy. I’m going to “It was pretty vicious,” chuckled one of the they call it again? A punch line, that’s That’s, like, the 8th time they’ve won in buy him a present and maybe you should onlookers. “He walked up real nervously, right.” the last 5 years. All the other girls were do the same. and tapped her on the shoulder with this whispering after the pageant how the sad little look of hope on his face, and she Paramedic Jason Whitbourne worked in country has, like, a beauty queen factory, A lot of people have come out and been just flicked him off. I suppose I could’ve the recovery tent every night of the show, and the girls go in fat and ugly and come pretty upset with the collateral damage stopped him, but, yeah.” and earlier this week established a hotline out looking like Miss Universe. A factory, his daring rescues have caused. They cite to comfort unsuspecting witnesses of the diary - and here I am from bloody Towns- in particular when he set fire to the city to A number of other sources confirmed that male stage makeup. ville. Talk about a wing and a prayer. melt Mr Freeze’s ice-castle as a cause for the attractive girl was at first annoyed, concern, but if you ask me, he was just and then disgusted upon discovering the “These people have been calling at two, I even got beaten by the girl from Kosovo. trying to keep us safe and kudos to him source of the shoulder tap, making for a three o’clock in the morning, wild with Um, pardon me, but is that even a for trying. Sure, 4,000 citizens died in the brutal and entertaining rejection. fear, saying that they’re being haunted country?? Yeh, no, I didn’t think so. Also, blaze, but he put a stop to Mr Freeze. in their dreams by effeminate zombie why isn’t she black like all the other con- Reports suggest that the male, known clowns. The counselling process is diffi- testants from Africa?? All a bit strange, if It’d be a shame if Batman had to pay for all only as “the weird kid in the My Chemi- cult and lengthy.” you ask me. those damages, or was jailed for negligent- cal Romance t-shirt sitting up the back,” Sigh. 4th is better than nothing I guess. I’m ly murdering thousands through arson, had been mustering up the courage to ap- The once feared nude sketch has now cheered up by the opportunities this will and it turned out through some twist of proach the girl since the beginnings of the become a relief for many audience open up back home. Getaway presenter, fate that Batman was a guy who if he was semester. members, giving their eyes a chance to underwear model… and just between you bankrupted or jailed, would put literally tear away from the eye-lined, lipstick- and me, I think that with the combination thousands of people out of a job. I’m not “Who? Oh yeah, the weird kid in the My smeared spectre. of 4th position and a strategically leaked saying it would happen, I’m just saying it Chemical Romance t-shirt sitting up the sex tape, I’ve got quite a career ahead of could happen. And that would be a shame. back was pretty creepy,” one girl laughed, And as for the young men themselves? me. ;) A real big shame for all the people who when asked to describe his demeanour. She Whitbourne gravely shakes his head. rely on Batman to run a successful multi- added that his slightly hunched shoulders national conglomerate, a shame to all the and small stature wouldn’t have helped “They’re too far gone. There’s no saving people who daily enjoy the essential prod- him in trying to chat up the girl. them now.” ucts and services his company may or may not bring to the good people of this city. “Yeah, she was, like, totally out of his >14 Pick-up artists Sub-Zero takes time out from Mortal Kombat to write for Honi. HOW TO LOSE to whether he regards himself as a profes- rights and wrongs.” He believes that both THE ASHES IN sional pick-up artist says it all. Or rather, ‘generations’ of the game: the first genera- it is the vomit- in-my-mouth-a-little-bit tion, with its emphasis on imitating the ex- ENGLAND expression that precedes his response that ternal traits of men who are successful with says it all. women, and the second generation, which focuses on adopting the mindsets of the Aim Russell Brands of this world, cause more The aim of this stunt is simple. Lose Then and there, I saw my journalistic life problems than they solve; “The guys in the the Ashes in England. However, flash before my eyes in glorious mono- community are fixated on completing their what complicates matters is that the chrome. The headline ‘ An Interview with life by being successful with women, rather Australian side is significantly more a Professional Pick-Up Artist’ suddenly than having a complete life which a woman experienced, talented, and with seemed inaccurate, if not a little libelous. My sheet of neatly typed, painstakingly can be a part of.” better coaching staff. Indeed, this is The pick up artist’s vehicle of choice. a more difficult science experiment thought-out questions, like ‘Which fic- Leigh freely admits that he “can’t get to pull off than Felix Felicis having Leigh-Louey Gung doesn’t really look like tional character would you most like to you laid”. Whilst that may disappoint only been achieved twice in the your typical pick-up-artist. Then again, game?’ lay in front of me, flailing ineptly in the warm afternoon breeze. In hindsight, the aspiring Vinnie Chases out there, it past twenty years. your typical PUA or PUG (pick-up guru) if you’re particularly gifted at ensnaring questions weren’t really necessary. The means he doesn’t share the deeply sexist, sheer force of Leigh’s personality drove arrogant man-boy, traits I have detected Equipment women, is, by all accounts, a fairly odd- conversation forward as I was reduced to a from exhaustive youtube research of other 1 x Captain with an ego as big as a looking dude. simpering mess. God, he’s good. PUAs Asian Playboy, Juggler et al. Instead, Union Board Director and the lead- through a combination of Buddhist ide- ership skills to boot Mystery, arguably the world’s most famous While Leigh may not be a pick-up artist, he ology, cutting-edge neuroscience and 5 x Selection mistakes PUG (apart from, of course, Otis, from knows ‘the Community’ better than most. personal experience Leigh strives to help 1 x English weather Milo and Otis), is a towering Canadian The Community, for all you AFCs (Average people ‘realise their potential’. “We try and 0 x Test First Class quality spinner. who looks like the lovechild of Marilyn Frustrated Chumps) out there, is both an strip away layers of personality to get to the 0 x South African’s Manson and Hagrid’s giantess soulmate. Leigh doesn’t talk like a PUA either. Al- exclusively male, mostly online society and very core of an individual. Then we find the a multi-million industry with one goal in unique product, and bring it to the fore and Method though his opener is impeccable (“Hello. mind: getting in with mad-hot chicks. This express it a more effective way. If you know Part 1: Cardiff You look lost. Am I the guy you’re trying to objective is achieved through the use of what you stand for, your cup is full, a ful- Over bowl “0 x Test First Class qual- find?”), his words cascade forth in an elo- ‘game’: a set of words, actions and behav- filling relationship with the opposite sex is ity spinner”. This is a sure fire way quent varied flow, rather than in the short, iours men employ in their interactions with a natural byproduct.” That’s a maybe, but not to bowl out the tail and for the pre-meditated shots favoured by so many women. If this all sounds awfully mechani- Leigh had me at hello. match to result in a draw. in the Community. In fact, it becomes very clear, very quickly that Leigh isn’t a pick-up cal, Leigh protests that it is. “The Commu- nity is all about a set of rules, of immutable Many thanks to Leigh-Louey Gung from the Attrac- Part 2: Lord’s artist at all. His response to my question as tion Institute for making this article possible. Use 2 x selection error. The first will be Michael Hussey, who has failed to score runs in his past 20 innings, and even managed to do so whenever other members of the Crazy monarchs Australian top order made runs. The second is the failure to select Stuart > Caligula (AD12-41) Clark. If drinking from lead pipes is what turned all the Romans mad, then Caligula must have been very, very hydrated. The third emperor of Rome was most famous for making his favourite horse Incitatus priest of the temple and a Part 3: Edgbaston Consul. Renowned for extravagant spending, Caligula had hundreds of ships tied together to make a temporary 1 x selection error. Select Shane floating bridge so that he could ride across the Bay of Naples on horseback and had incestuous relationships with Watson to replace Phil Hughes. all three of his sisters. Well, when in Rome. This was a mistake and one that was gravely compounded by his > Charles VI (1368-1422) lack lustre 50s. The guy is not a test This king of France was so mad that he thought he was made of glass, ordering clothes reinforced with iron rods opener, nor will he ever be. to protect his body from shattering. Paranoid about his own assassination, he was once on an expedition with his 1 x English weather – there isn’t men when a page dropped his lance on a helmet. Startled by the noise, Charles drew his sword and killed four of much you can do here, oh wait, yes his own men. Merde. there is, you could have won the first test.

Part 4: Headingley > King George III (1738-1820) A comprehensive victory, however, King George suffered from porphyria as well as a physician that would often gag him for swearing, drill holes in his this merely hid the 1 x selection er- skull and strap him in a strait jacket. He fell in love with a grandmother, claiming that she was his Queen and his ror of Michael Hussey for another wife Charlotte an imposter. He used to refer to his pillow as Prince Octavius, give orders to dead people and was test. once convinced that the city of London was flooded. King George went down as “the king who lost America”, which is careless, if nothing else. Part 5: The Oval Use your final 1 x selection error by > Ludwig II of Bavaria (1845 – 1886) not picking your “Test First Class Ludwig displayed early signs of crazy when, as a child he would creepily refer to his mother as “my predecessor’s quality spinner.” consort”. With the maxim, “I must build or die”, he drove his country into bankruptcy building elaborate fairy tale castles for himself, including Neuschwanstein, which the Disney castle is modeled on. A true romantic, Ludwig also Conclusion hosted moonlit picnics, where he ordered young groomsmen to strip naked and dance for him. There you have it! The seven sim- ple ingredients to lose the Ashes in England. #Australiafail > Vlad the Impaler (1431 –1476) The ruler of Wallachia (modern day southern-Romania) not only wins the award for most badass King name, but also takes home the best nickname prize – Dracula. Although impaling was his torture du jour, Vlad didn’t shy from skinning, roasting or boiling his enemies, nailing people’s hat’s to their heads or feeding them the flesh of their rela- tives. Among his victims were unchaste young women, children and babies – making Bram Stoker’s blood-sucking Doug Thompson Dracula seem like a bit of a sissy.

>15 PRESIDENT’S REPORT Report of the SRC President, Noah White//[email protected]

the late 80’s (which included the intro- many universities to grow and reach rationalise their smaller, more expensive duction of university fees, namely HECS). their full potential. programs and as a result we will have less Gillard announced that the Government universities offering particular courses. would be moving towards a deregulated A problem, however, arises from the fact Why am I so sure that this will happen? system of funding undergraduate places that the income a university receives per Because it has already started to happen, at public universities. student (commonwealth contribution + and not just in smaller cash-strapped HECS payment) often does not actually universities but our own too. Recently Currently the number of places funded cover the actual costs of running some there have been several languages cut at each university by the Federal Gov- courses. It is easy to see that the cost per (including Russian, Vietnamese and ernment in any one of seven “discipline student (which is what the university’s Thai); the agressive restucture of the International student travel clusters” (broad areas of study) is income is based on) will be much larger Nursing faculty resulting in a much concessions determined by a process of negotiation for a low-demand course than it will reduced intake and offering now only between the university and the govern- be for a higher-demand course as the what is seen as an elite program as well This Wednesday (2nd September) the ment. The number of places the Gov- university’s overheads cannot be spread as the severe rationalisation of the depth SRC, the National Union of Students and ernment decides to fund at a particular across as many students. Hence the and bredth of the units of study available the Cross Campus Concessions Coalition university is called that university’s above problem is exacerbated for some to students in the History department. (CCCC) have organised a rally to demand quota. The university can then enrol and low-demand courses and without the The reason for this has always been travel concessions for international stu- receive funding for a number of students abovementioned “safety-net” built into money. When there is not enough to go dents. Join students from every university up to 5% above the quota. If the univer- the current system these courses become around it forces the University to make in Sydney as well as students from TAFE sity under enrols they receive a financial financially unviable. the hard decision about what has to go and other tertiary education institutions, penalty but only if they under enrol at and unfortunately that decision is never we will be meeting from 12pm outside 96-99%. In effect this means that there is Universities can respond to such a usually fair. Fisher library. a safety net of 96% of the quota, which situation in a number of different ways, The Government should be applauded the university will be funded for even if it by keeping these courses and cross- for trying to undo the decades of destruc- University funding does not enrol that many students. subsidising using revenue from popular, tion caused to our higher education sys- profit-making courses; by keeping these tem but it will take more than a change I have had quite a few questions recently From 2012 the deregulated system will courses and decreasing their academic of process. Next year’s review of HECS about what the changes to the university remove that process and universities entry standards to a point where enough and commonwealth contributions will sector in this year’s Federal Budget mean will be free to enrol as many students as students are able to enrol and it becomes need to take into account the real costs so I thought I would summarise the ma- they see fit and will be funded for all of viable to run the course at a break-even of education. jor change in my report. Earlier this year, those places. Giving universities what point; or simply cut the course. Julia Gillard, the Deputy Prime Minister is essentially a blank cheque will give and Minister for Education announced our desperately under funded higher What we are likely to see is that most the most dramatic policy shift for higher education system much needed access universities will keep their large profit- education since the Dawkins reforms in to funding for the future and will allow making programs, many universities will EDUCATION REPORT Report of the Education Officers, Elly Howse and Rosie Ryan//[email protected]

in many students failing to do tax returns. to initiate legal proceedings against the of your friends to sign it, and make sure (NB: Basing everything on economic discrimination. So the Iemma govern- you AND your friends come along to the terms is often quite dehumanising to the ment amended the 1988 NSW Transport protest this Wednesday. International people involved. Even if international Administration Act. Shame, Iemma and students deserve better, so let’s start mak- students didn’t bring in a huge amount the NSW Labor Party, shame! ing some positive dialogue. of revenue to both governments, we’d still be arguing and fighting for transport Where to from here: 12PM FISHER LIBRARY THIS WEDNES- concessions!) DAY 2ND SEPTEMBER! In 2006, a court case was mounted by a Public support from students, workers, Sydney lawyer specialising in immigra- politicians and the wider community SIGN THE PETITION! BRING YOUR Hopefully you, dear reader, are not so tion, visas etc and several groups of inter- needs to result in the legislation being FRIENDS! snowed under with work that you won’t national and local students. This case was changed by the Government, because read our report. Because there is some- prompted by the technical assumption of currently there are no legal avenues thing REALLY EXCITING happening this ‘unlawful discrimination’. The judge pre- available at the moment to challenge it. week on Wednesday 2nd September! siding over the case did agree, calling the The only way we can change this is if the Read on to find out… failure to grant international students as Government decides to do it, which as ‘unlawful discrimination’. Which means everyone no doubt realises, can be the the background blurb in legal terms that the discrimination by hardest challenge to overcome. the State Government was effectively How we can overcome it: The State Government of NSW stopped illegal, from 1989 to 2006. giving transport concessions to inter- You (yes, YOU) need to come out national students in 1989. There are The NSW Anti-Discrimination Act of in support of our fellow students this many reasons for this, one of which are 1977 states that it is unlawful for a person Wednesday 2nd September. All local the perceived notions that international to be excluded from or discriminated and international students (and general students a) do not pay tax; and b) do not against in the provision of goods and members of the public) are invited to contribute to the state’s economy. These services. Public transport is undoubtedly come to the peaceful demonstration are rather flawed arguments, as they viewed as a basic provision of service, by starting from 1pm at UTS. Sydney Uni ignore the millions of dollars brought the legal profession and by society. students are meeting at 12pm outside in to both Federal and State economies What happened next? Fisher Library. Once we get to UTS, pm by international students each year in we’ll hear a great bunch of speakers Meet 12 terms of fees, accommodation/hous- The Government decided to introduce and march to State Parliament, where Fisher ing, basic spending, tourism etc. Most legislation that specifically prohibits we will hand over the hundreds (even Library international students also pay tax on international students from receiving thousands) of signatures we’ve collected. casual and part-time work they do, transport concessions, thus making the If you haven’t signed the petition yet, go which is often difficult to get back once discrimination ‘lawful’ and also making here: www.petitiononline.com/nswc- they return to their homeland, resulting it impossible for students and lawyers ccc/petition.html . Get every single one

>16 GENERAL SECRETARY’S REPORT Report of the General Secretary, Russel Schmidt//[email protected]

launch themselves into up into the air, for students, the end result is much of This move from the Government is re- pulling off a magnificent back flip only a muchness, the cloud of ambiguity is ally disappointing for me. The idea of to end up where they started. ‘Ahhh’ says still hanging over the future of student mutual obligation welfare (where you onlooker one, ’oooh’ says onlooker two, organisations across the country. have to prove you deserve welfare via but at some point it all becomes incred- work) was brought in by the conserva- ibly repetitive and boring. The second mechanical dog moment tives and used as way of cutting down has to go to Gillard. All and sundry could on welfare payments even to those who The Nationals were doing their best see the Government was going to cave in needed it most. The proposed changes to contented puppy dog act this week. Af- on Youth Allowance reform in an elec- Youth Allowance were about removing ter voting with the Liberals to introduce tion year and make sure the dollars are this ideological prejudice and returning VSU in 2005 and after voting down the flowing hard and fast. The Government the system to one that actually helps This week was a pretty tumultuous one Student Services and Amenities Fee, is planning to introduce grandfathering those who need it. The Government in Federal politics and there is the chance the Nationals Conference decided that provisions for country students (much has the ability and the right to change its for some pretty big changes for university the party position is now to support the to the chagrin of Gillard who apparently policies, some people will win and some students. It seems like politicians are just legislation. Congrats Johnny come lately. spoke out with fervour against it in the will lose with every change, but it really like those little toy dogs that were all the Now theoretically the legislation should Labor caucus). The trade off is that the is disappointing to see the Government rage in the nineties. They stare out at pass the Senate (it has passed the lower personal income threshold (which has lie down on what was an outstanding you with their beady, longing little eyes house and been defeated once in the not been increased or indexed for more reform programme only to buy a few and start barking. As they seem to make Senate) if it is reintroduced, although than a decade and is now less than half more votes in the looming election (the up their mind they start to sit down, still there are good political reasons why the federal minimum wage) will not be Federal one, not the SRC). barking incessantly and then just when the ALP wont reintroduce it to the Sen- increased from $236 to $400 dollars you think you can’t take any more they ate. So whilst this might look like good until some distant point in the future. WOMEN’S REPORT Report of the Acting Women’s Officer, Becky Cleaver//[email protected]

Women’s Officer’s reports outlining this violence statistics until they are stirred by So no, we feminists do not think that all issue have been met with the dropped the self-indignant rumblings of their de- men are rapists. In fact, I know of a lot jaws, raised arms and defensive ranting sire to defend their gender against such of amazing pro-feminist men and some of mock outrage by men claiming to feel “unfounded” attacks. What most men shockingly sexist women. However, as personally vilified by these statements. (and a lot of women) don’t realise is that a driving force behind society’s ideas Oh yes, I can just imagine the hurt violence against women does not occur around masculine culture, it is not feelings of all you poor men out there in a vacuum. The socially accepted enough for men to say “I’m not a rapist, who clearly spend so much of your time norms that permeate our privileged therefore I’m not the problem”. We have pontificating the causes of rape while university are the same norms that allow all been brought to accept sexism in the admonishing the dangers of patriarchy rape and domestic violence to occur in countless ways it is presented to us in our The overwhelming majority of sexual over your soy latte. So many times I have excruciatingly high numbers across the society, and if we are not actively fight- assaults and domestic violence occur walked into Manning and overheard the globe. Women, when we deride our ing against these injustices then we are a where there is a male perpetrator and despair and desperation in young men’s sisters for dressing too provocatively part of the problem. a female victim. These crimes are char- voices as they ask why their sisters, or make flippant use of the terms slut acterised by NON-feminist and feminist mothers, friends and girlfriends do not and whore, we are perpetuating the organisations alike as “violence against feel safe walking through Victoria Park patriarchal standards that allow rape to women” specifically because there is alone after a late lecture. Oh yes, I feel occur. And men, when you intimidate a no denying that they are the result of a your frustration. woman by whistling at her or make jokes significant discrepancy in power rela- to your mates about “smashing box”, tions between the sexes. While this may The sad truth, however, is that most your actions lie on a continuum of sexist seem obvious to some, it is apparently young men do not stop to think about behaviours alongside rape. not so to others. In previous weeks, the the implications of rape and domestic

>17 The SUPRA www.supra.usyd.edu.au SAAO Fair Education for All: End Corner Exploitation and Racism Against Dear SAAOs International Students!

I have a problem with my They’ve been appearing all around the campus and you might be students. On the basis of our history with the supervisor and I think SUPRA wondering what they’re all about. The posters that look like the one campaign (SUPRA has been working on this could help me, but am below, I mean. Posters proclaiming that everyone should have a for almost 10 years), and the huge numbers worried that if I come to see fair education, that international students should have transport of students who came to tell us how they you, it will get back to my concessions, that no students should be in detention, that racist felt about it, SUPRA decided to re-start the supervisor or the University. attacks are not on, and safe and affordable accommodation campaign for international student transport What should I do? should be available to students. concessions.

Yours Faithfully, Obviously there’s been a lot of media attention on international But the Cross-Campus Concessions Coalition Concerned Research student issues over the last few months, after international media has decided to move forward on a broader picked up some stories about particularly horrific attacks. What’s base of demands than just for transport Student been a bit less prominent is the work that student organisations concessions. have been doing to support international students. So what do all of our demands mean?

Dear Concerned Research Although the headline news only just discovered the troubles Transport Concessions NOW Student, of international students, student organisations have known This one is obvious! We want the NSW about them for a long time because we’re one of the places that Government to chance the Transport You should definitely come students come when they’re having a rough time. In fact, we’ve Administration Act to stop discriminating to see us! SUPRA’s SAAOs been campaigning hard about international student issues for 20 against international students. give confidential advice to years. students. This means that Stop Racist Attacks SUPRA and other student organisations called the September NSW Government and Police have been you can talk to us in private 2nd rally long before any media outlets cared about international recalcitrant about taking action against known about the problem you have attackers, and the attacks keep happening. with your supervisor, and In a climate where government, police, and that we will not take any the education system discriminate against action and will not speak international students, all attacks have that to your lecturer or anyone discriminatory character. It is the system that else in the University unless makes them vulnerable. you give us your permission to do so (or unless we have No Students in Detention This is a little-known phenomenon which to by law or to protect is very much the dark side of the education someone from harm). system. If an international student breaches a condition of their visa, they have their Also, SUPRA is independent visas cancelled and they’re excluded from (or separate) from the the country for 3 years. If they can’t pay for University. SUPRA is run a bridging visa while they’re appealing the by postgrad students for decision, they’re put in immigration detention the benefit of postgrad centres. These are the same immigration students. The four SAAOs detention centres that the UN claims violate human rights! are employed by SUPRA, not Human rights violations have NO place in by the University. So we can our education system! help you to resolve disputes 12 pm which you might have with outside Safe, Affordable Accommodation a supervisor (or your Faculty) Fisher Library This is another obvious one, and one that if you need someone domestic students understand as well. We ‘outside’ of the University to want accommodation rights legislation intervene. cleaned up to stop landlords taking advantage of legal loopholes, more affordable Best Regards, accommodation made available, and for governments and education providers to SAAO Team take responsibility for it. We especially want realistic solutions as soon as possible, not for >18 The SUPRA Postgrad Pages

unis to tie themselves up in property negotiations while of international students from various backgrounds, students suffer. Things like co-operative student housing, including some from Sterling College in Sydney, which Subscribe to conversion of vacant properties into low-cost housing, and collapsed last month, will be speaking. Even Greens Senator especially more affordable accommodation are all things we Sarah Hanson-Young will come along! SUPRA - need right now. it’s FREE! Domestic and international students should stand together You can find out more information about SUPRA’s position to oppose any injustice in the student community. If By becoming a SUPRA Subscriber on all these issues and more in our submission to the you can’t make it to the rally, please sign the petition for you will be able to: Federal Senate Inquiry into International Student Welfare, transport concessions at: http://www.petitiononline.com/ • Access our free, confidential available on our website: http://www.supra.usyd.edu.au/ nswcccc/petition.html student advice and advocacy or you can come to the rally! service 12 pm, Wednesday 2nd September, meet at Fisher In solidarity, the SUPRA offices will be closed on September • Participate in SUPRA events Library 2nd from 11:30 am to 3 pm. and activities • Receive regular email updates Everyone is welcome, and necessary! See you at the rally! and electronic publications Although SUPRA is doing a number of other things to (eGrad) promote the rights of international students, we think a Rashmi Kumar • Use the SUPRA Resource and rally is important because it’s an opportunity for students to SUPRA Co-President Meeting Rooms stand up together to demonstrate what we want, and that we [email protected] • Access discounted photocopy- won’t stand for injustice in the education system. A number ing, printing and faxing • Vote or run in the SUPRA Council elections • Actively participate in your rep- Are you getting enough feedback resentative student association. By becoming a SUPRA Supporter you will be able to: from your lecturers? • Access all of the above benefits • Receive a SUPRA Supporter Welcome Pack (including SU- With all of the pressures that students have to handle as well rights (and others relevant to assessment) yourself in the PRA highlighter and t-shirt) as their studies (work, family commitments, partners and Academic Board Resolutions on Assessment and Examina- • Show that you appreciate the the like), it’s often a real challenge to get assessments done tion of Coursework (http://www.usyd.edu.au/ab/policies/ value of an independent stu- or prepare adequately for final examinations, let alone get Assess_Exam_Coursework.pdf). dent run organisation. feedback on those assessments. Complete your subscription online If you receive a mark for an assessment (whether it is a mid- at www.supra.usyd.edu.au/sub- For example, once the marks for the assessment or exami- semester exam, an essay, online quiz or final exam) and scribe then follow the links if you nation come back, it might have been so long since you did you don’t understand why you didn’t get a higher mark, we would like to become a SUPRA the assessment to be bothered finding out from the lecturer strongly recommend that you contact the lecturer or tutor Supporter. Alternatively you can why they gave you the mark they did (even if you received a to ask for feedback. complete a form at our stalls or lower mark than you think you deserved). drop into the SUPRA office. You could try to speak to them briefly after a class or send However, that feedback could help you to improve in that them an email to ask whether they can make a time with you subject, and in some cases, may be the difference between to go through your assessment and explain where you could whether you pass or fail that subject. improve. Some lecturers have set consultation hours each week when they are able to see students. You should find SUPRA’s Student Advice and Advocacy Officers see large out whether your lecturer has a consultation hour and when Raglan Street Building (G10) numbers of students for whom inadequate feedback from it is, and use that opportunity to speak to your lecturer. Darlington Campus lecturers is one of the main reasons they are struggling aca- University of Sydney NSW 2006 demically. Students bring in assessments to us which have If it is the final exam for which you want feedback, Faculties Phone: (02) 9351 3715 been returned to them by lecturers with a few handwritten sometimes have set times during which you can look at your Fax: (02) 9351 6400 comments and some ticks and crosses. SUPRA also knows exam paper and see the comments which examiners have Email: [email protected] that some lecturers return essays with nothing at all written made on the paper. Even if your Faculty does not have set Web: www.supra.usyd.edu.au on the paper other than the mark itself. times, you are still entitled to request to see your exam paper and should speak to your Faculty to arrange a time when Of course, if a student is having difficulty with a subject you can do so. At any rate, you should always try to look and it shows up in the marks for the assessments, it will be at your paper first before asking your lecturer for feedback almost impossible for the student to improve without being about the final exam. given clear and comprehensive explanations by the lecturer about why, for instance, a paper was graded as a fail rather If you are having difficulty getting feedback from the lecturer than a pass, or why a paper received a pass rather than a or the Faculty, or if you ultimately decide to appeal the mark credit. you were given, get in contact with one of SUPRA’s Student Advice and Advocacy Officers and we can provide you with The University recognises this and so has created rights free, confidential and professional assistance. for students which ensure timely and sufficiently detailed feedback from lecturers. You can read these >19 REVUE SEASON 2009 An (Ab)Original Film COMMERCE REVUE ENGINEERING REVUE Paul Mackay got high on the first Aboriginal feature-length comedy. Nightmare on Wall St Thomas the Tanked Engine On hearing that the first Aboriginal fea- Commerce students may not be tal- If revues are measured by the enjoy- ture-length comedy was being released, ented at comedy, but they’re certainly ment of their audience, then the Engi- my first reaction was that of surprise. talented at commerce as they managed neering Revue will be the best revue of With Aboriginal actors the quality of Ernie to extract a fee from audience members the season … In spite of having no re- Dingo, Deborah Mailman, Aaron Pedersen for a show that should have been free. deeming features in the form of writing, and David Gulpilil gracing our screens for They’re also untalented at acting, as acting, singing or comedic timing. As as long as I can remember, I found it hard many cast members seemed to be of expected, the best part of the show was to believe that never before had such a film the belief that talking loudly constitutes the audience’s heckles, ranging from been made. But sure enough, when Stone acting. They are, however, talented at the arbitrary “Heckle”, “Why are we Bros. hits cinemas later this month, the music as the band was arguably the best sitting through Engo Revue?” and “You first comedy to be written, directed, and Shit place to break down. of the season so far – and the only funny all suck at life and no one will ever want star Indigenous Australians will be open to numbers were musical. you” to an audience member throwing the public. acters - as recognisable mates rather than his pants onto the stage with a scream of detached stereotypes. No wait, that’s not entirely true. I en- “take my pants”. And about time too. While the power and joyed the sexualisation and degradation import of films like this year’s Camera d’Or Stone Bros.’ release is not without contro- of The Wiggles, Twilight’s exclusion Unfortunately the “Dude where’s my winning Samson and Delilah do much to versy however, its MA15+ rating upset- from book clubs, Renting the OC, Geni- pants?” sketch was just a taste of the open the eyes of Australians to the tragedy ting all involved with the film’s release. tal Fibrous Clusters, a bunch of school awful that came spewing from the that faces many in our Indigenous popula- The Classification Board cited excessive children and Michael Jackson making stage: Shakespeare was raped, and tion, Stone Bros.’ director Richard Fran- drug use as reason for the rating, using music together, Men in Tax in Tights, not even well; punchlines should have kland approaches his “post sorry” picture examples such as “a montage in which Condom Man, a period ‘that’s what been replaced by white noise; and the in a different way. Rather than focusing marijuana is shown being cut from the she said joke’ and the entire Pharmacy nude sketch was a lot like sex with me. on the devastation amongst Indigenous plant, mixed with tobacco and formed into Revue. Special mention must go to the Awkward. people in Australia, he pokes fun at cultur- joints.” Since there is no scene in which amazing nude sketch: who would have al rifts and seeks to bridge them through this occurs, those behind the film feel that thought that erratic naked people could In spite of its faults, the Engineering Re- humour. either an error has been made, or cultural be so funny? vue did deliver a few funnies that even stereotyping has stood in the way. Allanah the soberest of audience members could “TS Elliot says that humour is also a way Zitserman, managing director of the film’s But there were a few things that were laugh at: four minutes of male ballet, of saying something serious,” Frankland distributor, told Honi that, “Stone Bros. is just travesties: Poor spelling, reliance the Engo Boys Choir, Cookie Monster says. “This is what Stone Bros. does, it a landmark film, which will go a long way on the GFC, swine flu and a hatred of meets St George Dragon, disco fever brings up serious issues under a humorous towards changing people’s views about Ab- mimes. But lets be honest, sometimes I causing havoc in the bedroom, Mario’s banner. Laughter always disarms people, original Australia. It breaks down barriers just wasn’t sure if the joke was meant to mushroom addiction and Ugg, the most makes them open to see other views and through humour. It is really disappointing be the bad acting. direct political hack on campus. Engi- perspectives.” that young Australians will be restricted Tom Clement neering Revue appealed greatly to its from seeing this film.” As the film cannot drunk, yelling audience. afford the hefty costs associated with ap- Nightmare on Wall Street was an unpre- Tom Clement pealing the classification decision, it seems tentious, unassuming delight that looked the film’s anti-drug, pro-culture message the GFC in the face and said ‘Huh! What Look, I’m going to be honest with you. will not reach younger audiences. is it good for!?’ The cast were so endear- The Engo Revue is all kinds of awful. It’s ing we forgave them even their least brash and crass and profoundly confus- Those not put off by a bit of pot should get amusing moments. Finance folk are not ing. It’s too long, too loud, too much. along to catch Stone Bros., a film that will often required to be funny, but these But f*#% me it’s entertaining. hopefully not only aid the reconciliation financiers had moments of true comic process, but give audiences a bit of a laugh genius. They didn’t subscribe to stand- What I admire most about the shameless as well. The Aboriginal story telling tradi- ard revue humour; instead they gave us cast is their persistence. Songs were flat, tion, long residing exclusively in the verbal Acting up. whimsy and heart. stomachs were not. Beers were aplenty, domain, has entered the big screen and punchlines were not. But they soldiered Honi hopes there is more to come. There were a few clumsily un-PC, on with a commitment to each role. Stone Bros. is the story of Eddie, a good weirdly executed sketches in the sec- guy who sets off to reconnect with his ond half including a strange pedophile Some of the sketches went for days but cultural roots by returning a sacred stone Stone Bros. will be in cinemas from song about Michael Jackson. It didn’t the audience hung on every ridiculous to his hometown. The trip takes a sharp September 24. For more information, make reference to the fact that MJ had word. Hecklers taunted the cast but turn off the spiritual track when his wild see www.stonebrosmovie.com.au. died - it just harped on kiddy-fiddling none of them flinched. Not once did an cousin Charlie invites himself along for rumours from years ago. It struck me as Engo kid on stage stop their onslaught of the ride, setting up a wacky journey that a real shame that someone saw fit to in- Engo comedy to acknowledge a heckle, includes transvestites, Italian rock gods clude this given that it was neither funny and that was pretty bloody impressive. and demonic dogs. nor innovative. The incongruous all male ballet piece It’s an ambitious film, one that attempts There were some very funny, charm- was spectacular - never have I seen to couch in comedy a raft of pressing con- ing sketches though. A conversation such an absurd and entertaining display cerns. It examines the place of racial dis- between two gorillas was beautifully of clumsy masculinity. It was great. The crimination towards and within the Abo- done. Condom Man was ridiculous but Cookie Monster video was priceless and riginal community, drug use, friendship fantastic. The University budget cut ‘Ugh’ became a quick hero in student and family, and the value of culture and announcement and multicultural call politics. Silly superheroes and random belonging. While fans of stoner flicks will not find this the next Cheech and Chong, centre employee went down really well. violence had the audience in hysterics. Honi Soit has 15 double passes The videos were great, and technologi- and fans of travel comedies will not laugh to an advanced screening of cal glitches made them even funnier. The Engineering Revue doesn’t com- as they may have in Road Trip, it is light- Stone Bros. on 21st September, promise on tradition; choral renditions hearted and entertaining and achieves its 6.30pm at Greater Union George Street. I hope these Commerce students will about beer and girls, they always re- goal of addressing Australian social issues with humour. It feels somewhat surreal incorporate dance routines, music num- solve conflict with bottles of Tooheys. IF YOU’RE KEEN TO GRAB ONE, bers and costumes into all meetings, watching gags we’re more used to hearing SHOOT AN EMAIL TO HONI2009@ consultations and job interviews from This show was ridiculous, infuriating from Hollywood play out in Australian GMAIL.COM AND LET US KNOW henceforth - the finance sector could do and hilarious. But we wouldn’t have it dialogue and accents, but in this unique WHERE YOU’D ROAD-TRIP TO and Australianism lies a lot of fun. It is well who you’d bring if you were with an injection of funny. any other way, Engineers. starring in a film. Kate Leaver Kate Leaver shot and you really do warm to the char-

>20 More than weed and hookers Uni-ccino Abigail Schoenheimer reckons Amsterdam’s great. Mark Di Stefano knows his flat white from his latte.

“Flat white with one sugar.” C: should be in the reverse ratio: 1/3 milk, “Latte with one sugar.” 2/3 froth, with a nice healthy dose of froth (2cm) layered on the top. Sprinkle choco- A friend and I order this daily, and daily late as desired. we watch our coffee prepared and poured exactly the same way. So in an ideal world these are the differ- ences: milk amounts and ratios. But at This is not an isolated case at our university Sydney Uni we still get what seems to be takeaway outlets. What about the student untrained baristas free pouring assembly who orders a cappuccino and gets a flat line coffee. white/latte with chocolate powder thrown on top?

It is about time we all knew the similarities and differences between the holy trinity of takeaway coffee, and whether uni baristas Looks like an AmsterDAM GOOD TIME, YEW! are taking any notice.

“Oh so you spent a year in Amsterdam.” I About three months into my exchange the Lets start with the milk: it is all prepared can see the mixed emotions flashing across official policy of ‘tolerance’ of magic mush- the same way. The barista should make your face. First the judgement: “Hmm I rooms came to an end. My friends and I sure the steam is propelled into the middle wonder why you chose Amsterdam.” Then, decided to visit a smart shop to investi- of the milk, allowing the bottom layers the knowing look with accompanying uni- gate more fully. The sales guy at the store to seamlessly fold over the top. This will versal hand gesture for ‘smoking the bud.’ looked horrified when we asked if we could create microbubbles, which sit atop a con- Finally, it’s the jealousy. You can’t help but buy some magic mushrooms. He shook his stant creamy body of volumised velvety Flat white? Latte? Flatte? feel that Amsterdam would be an awesome head gravely: ‘They’re illegal!’ So what did milk. place for an exchange. You’d be right. But he recommend? Truffles. The problem? Takeaway serving size and not for the reasons you might think. FW: should be serviced with the bottom- demand. Takeaway coffee cups at uni come We asked him what the difference most milk layer of the jug. Here the milk in different sizes, but are so large that milk The debauched life-style that you’ve heard between mushrooms and truffles was and is at its creamiest and as the barista pours overpowers the rich espresso shot. Big your friends engaged in for 3 or 4 days, he replied, as if it were obvious ‘Truffles holding back the top layer with a spoon, 270ml paper cups make the artful differ- during their otherwise culturally enriched grow under the ground.’ He showed us the the shot is ‘flattened’ by the milk (hence ences between the coffees non-existent. European holiday, does exist. However the box of truffles, to demonstrate they had a the name). uni cappuccinos would be 140ml froth if sin-city that many have in mind makes up pretty much identical effect as mushrooms the recipe were properly followed. only a small part of Amsterdam. Outside and on the packet was a sticker reading: L: should be layered to a 2/3 milk, 1/3 the Red Light District, Amsterdam is one “€1 from the sale of this product will go froth ratio. As the bottom milk fills the cup, Therefore we have baristas on campus of the most beautiful cities in Europe. More toward the legal costs of the battle to re- the microbubbled froth on the top should pouring them all the same way; a uni canals than Venice and more bridges than legalise magic mushrooms.” We were sold, be released to leave half a centimetre of method for a uni student. Paris, I was frequently left amazed on my knowing we were contributing to a worthy thick cushion on top. routine bike rides to and from uni, through cause. some of the prettiest suburbs. It was moments like these that made me So if you guys are struggling to pin-point fall in love with the Dutch and the Neth- what the Dutch culture might be if one sets erlands. Though there were times when I The Straight Man’s Havianas aside marijuana and prostitution I don’t wanted to shake the whole country by the “Ooooo, leather sandals are so in this blame you. If you’re picturing cheese and shoulders and tell it to get its act together Summer Style Guide year!” Fuck off. Good quality rubber for clogs you’re half right. It’s true that they (like all the times they refused point blank Mark Di Stefano $15 without everyone thinking you are eat a lot of cheese but false that they wear to bring you tap water in a restaurant), on whipped by your overbearing mother a lot of clogs. The Netherlands is a strange the whole I feel an overwhelming affection It is hard being an Australian guy in the or well-meaning girlfriend. And please and magical place, a good way to illustrate for the Dutch that I think will stay with me fashion world. A world where Tom Ford, don’t think pink is heaps sick. this is the following; forever. Karl Lagerfeld and Marc Jacobs openly mock Australian masculinity in setting Dress shorts men’s fashion trends. They have raised There is nothing worse than whilst hav- the heels on our shoes, straightened our ing a few lazy Sunday beers, a steady, STUNNER fringes, and put us in rubber leggings. constant bead of sweat rolls down your They have made it OK to don eye make cheek. Be brave by showing some calf up, wear unisex jeans and have a constant with a pair of slick shorts. Denim cut 5 o’clock shadow. But then our summer offs are not the only option, so try to find rolls around and we become masters of some that are slim cut so you don’t look our own destiny. Our scorching temper- like you just walked out of NBA ’98. atures make wearing rolled up chinos and boat shoes a smelly uncomfortable Sunglasses experience. Our heavy waves make No you are not Maverick, aviators are Sicilian trunks dangerous. Our laziness dead, and Wayfarers will make you look makes buying clothes a biannual ward- like an unimaginative, conservative dick robe stacking experience. So this year, this season. Le Specs are safe but re- once again, shun the European wankers member that everyday isn’t Parklife. and their cheesecloth-suit-wearing ways with these five “keep it local” essentials: Plain Tees Buy cheap. Buy plain. Buy colours. Deep Boardshorts V’s will be everywhere, but only get Fuck off prints. Stick to monocolours. some if you are comfortable with your Length is totally up to you; some guys re- plump, puffy nipples. ally battle with the above the knee style. Xena’s Chakram, Rome/11AD But just do one thing: get snap fronts with a lace. The elastic waistband is only go- ing to make your hip-junk flare.

>21 T-PAIN IF YOU SAW ME AND MY NIGGAS IN THE CLUB, YOU GONNA BE LIKE, “THEM NIGGAS IS Do-lee, Thai Times 9 Yao, Thai La-Ong TRIPPIN’.” 1. Pad thai beef 1. Pad Thai seafood 2. Cashew nut chicken, or chilli jam 2. Cashew nut chicken, or pad se ew chicken 3. $6.00 3. $6.50 4. Never, too cheap! 4. No, too low! 5. I’m here, running around! 5. At work, preparing food for the week

THE WEEK //THREE THINGS WE’RE DOING THIS WEEK AHEAD 1. Deleting Honi’s Master Template. It happened, you know. 2. Catching up on Season 2 of Mad Men. 3. Checking out Monocle’s 2009 Most Liveable Cities Index. Go Sydney! Thai on King St Michael Krasovitsky chats up the matriarchs (and Do-lee) of King St’s Thai strip. Tina, Newtown Thai II Dew, Thai La-Ong II 1. Pad se-eew 1. Chilli pad gaw suk 1. What’s your favourite dish? 2. Cashew nut chicken 2. Cashew nut chicken 2. What’s the most ordered item on the menu? 3. $6.00 3. $6.00 3. How much do you charge for lunch? 4. No, it’s impossible! 4. Maybe. Probably not. 5. Here, at the cashier 5. I’m at work. It’s too busy to be at 4. Would you ever consider dropping it to $5.50? home! 5. It’s Saturday night: where are you?

The Palladian Cup Joe Payten hates a song. statement, was misguided, and perhaps Third place in the individual category went fatal in their push for the podium. Con- to a Wesley vocalist, whose stunning origi- tributing to the impressive variety of the nal composition about heart-break left the evening was the Paul’s vocal group, who crowd heart-broken. Second place was performed the number Is you is or is you taken by a Drew’s student with his unique ain’t my baby? Despite obvious grammati- adaptation of King’s of Leon’s Use Some- cal issues, the audience truly reveled in all body, played on ukulele and accompanied of the barbershop genre’s finger clicking, by an electric guitarist. hip-swaying, synchronized glory. They all paled in comparison, however, Coming in at third place was the John’s to the standout performance of the night. vocal group, who performed Coldplay’s Fix The Drew’s female vocalist had every boy You. Second place went to the impressive wanting to go to New York, LA, and most of and clearly well rehearsed Drew’s sextet, all to be her American boy after her rendi- performing an arrangement of ‘I Can See tion of Estelle’s 2008 hit. In a performance Clearly Now’. Despite this spirited and described by the judges as “complete – she moving piece, first place went to the choir had the voice, the moves, the body”, the The St. Michael’s College band didn’t show up. from the Women’s College, performing Drew’s singer blew the opposition away. To Imogen Heap’s ‘Hide and Seek’, and for quote one of the finest musicians the world The Palladian Cup is an annual opportu- from the Intercol community attended, some, the flawless rendition’s evocation of has known, Mark Holden, it was truly a nity for musicians, vocalists and thespians and was witness to a pretty surprising Caleb Nichol’s tragic and untimely death “touchdown”. to represent their respective Colleges and display of musical talent. was simply too much. strut their stuff in the competition for With two rounds of the Palladian Cup re- points, and the prestigious prize. Like the The group category provided some of the The individual category featured entries maining, Drew’s hold a healthy lead over Rawson Cup, if you win then you get a cup. highlights of the evening. The medley, ar- from all of the Colleges, and showcased a Women’s, with Wesley and John’s in third. Unlike the Rawson Cup, it is not a sporting ranged by a Drew’s student and performed similar array of talent and diversity. From More importantly though, it’s a chance for competition. Last week Intercol witnessed by the Drew’s choir, was one such high- the stirring rendition of Prince’s pop hit the Intercol community to show the rest the first of the three nights of the Pallad- light. Stringing together a series of hits When Doves Cry, to an amazing operatic of the world that College kids aren’t just ian Cup, the music performance evening, was always going to be a crowd-pleaser, piece whose name I can’t remember, there drunken idiots – we’re drunken idiots who hosted by St. John’s, who rolled out the red however many felt the inclusion of Vanilla was something for everyone. can play music good. carpet for the event. An enormous crowd Ice’s Ice Ice Baby, whilst a seminal artistic

>22 All clues in italics are centred around a theme and suggest possible titles for a 20 Across of old.

//ACROSS 8. Julia Sees Her. (6) 9. Anatomy and Cleopatra (8) 10. Henry the 4th, Arts I and II (4) 11,12. Heartless one with one arm on him to go back evenly (3 -3) 16. QC or not QC (3) 17. Pursues Huckleberry et al. (6) 18. They’re strange chances… (4) 20. Eight shows of faculty fun to ease nervous jitters [and the key to the Theme Clues] (5, 6) 25. The Taming of the Brew (4) 26. Violate first right in the seaside. (6) 27. Slippery but reportedly in command (3) 29. Catch a tangled x. (3) 30. The Esky’s full of vodka! (3) 31. Carries out multiple lady-deer (4) 35. All’s Well That Spends Well. (8) 36. Mr. Brosnan changed the recipe (6)

//DOWN 1. Pretty lame superhero lets you in (7) 2. I head you rented for the slightest amount… (5) 3. Has charred and burnt offerings (3) 4. Current light left off (3) 5. George Downing carks it with Murphy and Izzard (6) 6. Perform with startled moggy (3) 7. Continue trampling Burt and Rachel! (7) 13. The vegetarian option is at first too overbearing for us (4) 14. Stupidly denies a tasty gum flavour (7) BCJ 15. Helps rid the waste: (5) 19. Apparently tripped atop a criminal (5) 21. Hamlet; Blueprints of Denmark (4) 22. Pen love letters then hug! (7) 24. Richard the Nerd. (7) 26. Dropped key bar in the bread house (6) 28. A calculating snake… (5) CLUE: The best of times past... 32. Take a away a pimp’s hat and he’ll become mischievous. (3) 33. Want some something worth 0.0127075898 Australian dollars? (3) 34. Faulty tap fitting. (3)

//ANSWERS

t e ads He th oo t ue l B : r e answ s Week’ ast L

>23 Students’ Representative Council The University of Sydney

FREE MEMBERSHIP join online www.src.usyd.edu.au or in person at the SRC office or the SRC bookshop phone 02 9660 5222 YOUR VOICE UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS YOUR SRC Support & Advocacy • Centrelink Advice • Academic Appeals SRC Books - Cheapest books on campus! • Discontinuing/Withdrawing • Buy & sell your textbooks • Students at Risk • Search for books online SRC website • Show Cause Wentworth Level 3 (opposite Donut King) • Exclusion • Tenancy Advice Emergency Loans • Fee Refunds $50 emergency loans for • Harassment & Discrimination students in need • International Students • Plagiarism & misconduct Student Publications • Honi Soit weekly newspaper Free Legal Advice see:www.src.usyd.edu.au/honisoit • Referrals • Student Handbooks • Discrimination & Equal Opportunity • Employment law Student Rights & Representation • Minor criminal matters/traffic SRC Representatives are directly elected by offences/ fines students each year to stand up for students’ • Victims of violence rights on campus and in the wider community. • Debts

Find the SRC at... SRC Level 1 Wentworth down stairs ASK US Building (downstairs under the City Rd Student Central footbridge) Wentworth Ph: 02 9660 5222 building ABOUT www.src.usyd.edu.au

International Students are Students First: Demand a Fare Go for International Students! For too long international students have been discriminated against in Australia. It’s time to change that and demand: Fair Education International students are • Travel concession cards welcome, racists are not! For ALL ! • Safe, affordable accommodation • Better, fairer visa conditions and work rights Meet • No international students in detention Fisher • No more racist attacks Library • A freeze on tuition fees 12pm • An end to the exploitation of international students! F UTS International students are students first and deserve transport concessions. So join us in our campaign, whether that is handing out flyers, signing the petition, encouraging your friends to come or joining in the rally on Wednesday 2nd September from UTS to State Parliament. For more information: [email protected] or 02 9660 5222

Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney The SRC’s operational costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. Phone: 02 9660 5222 www.src.usyd.edu.au e: [email protected]