Inside IssueThis News 3 Classifieds 6 Opinion 7 Student Life 10 Feature 12 Sports 14 Entertainment 18 Brain Candy 22 'The tie that binds since 1926" VOLUME XXXVII • ISSUE SK • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 1996 the Cord WEEKLY WLU Student publications

Hawks hold on for win over York.

GREG CHOWNYK Cord Sports

It was almost like the two halves were two different football games last Saturday at University Stadium. The first half was greatly dominated by the Golden Hawks and it looked as though all this talk about a rejuvenated York team was exag- gerated. The second half was a complete different story as the Yeomen stepped up their game, showed they were for real and the Hawks offense went into a tailspin. However, when it was all said and done, Liu tier managed to hold on to their lead and come out on the top end of a 31-21 victory. The first half was played as though the Hawks had put their mistake filled performance at Western behind them. Scott O'Hara opened up the scoring six minutes into the game when he nailed a 48 yard field goal to put the Hawks up 3-0. On their very next possession, the scoring continued as a 40 yard (hiis Smits reception set up a 3 yard touchdown am by Andy Bacon. An Anthony Ahmed two point convert put the Hawks up 11-0 and it appeared that they were well on their way to an easy victory. The Laurier route continued as QB Kevin McDonald hooked up with Bacon on a 32 yard touchdown pass just two minutes into the second quarter. The only other first half scor- ing saw both sides trade field goals to make it 21-3 at the halfway point. "We played poorly in the first half," said the York boss, Tom Arnott. In reference to the non-existent York rushing game, Arnott said, "We weren't executing. The execution was not there by our offensive line." The second half saw the momentum change. The Laurier offense struggled as McDonald was picked off twice in the third quarter. Both times it resulted in great field position for York. However, the Yeomen failed to capitalize on either of these opportunities as Roy Venier missed two field goal attempts. "Offensively, we went into the tank [in the second half]. We can't do that," said Hawk head coach Rick Zmich. The York rushing game got rolling and Yeomen slotback Remzi Veli continued to have a solid game receiving. The I lawks chose to lay off a bit which allowed Veli to go under- neath and rack up some yardage, 'lhc upside to this was that the Hawks were able to shut down York stand out receiver Andre Batson, something that pleased Zmich. "He can beat you so many ways." Batson was virtually invisible on both offense and special teams. Ilis only big catch, of 39 yards set up a 10 yard pass to Veli for York's first touchdown. The Hawks defense did pickup their game when the offense struggled. Linebacker Craig Mellow had two key interceptions. Unfortunately, the offense continued to struggle and the Hawks were only able to come out with an O'Hara field goal. Another O'l lara field goal and a 25 yard touchdown strike to Brian McClure closed out the scoring for Laurier. The Yeomen closed the gap to ten with a Rob Garsland 2 yard run with seconds remaining. Coach Zmich seems a little concerned about his team. This victory was certainly not pretty. The team's first two games l IMV.f have to be considered somewhat disappointing. He does I know what it will take to get his team to their L. living up expec- tations. "We have to play 60 minutes with poise." Sixty minutes is exactly what it will take each game if the

I J Hawks hope to remain in the upper portion of the league.

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aaaßHsaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaßßaaaaaaaßaßaaßßaaaaaßaaaaaa aa NEWS WLU computers crash Aging system the source of mach1 woes...

TOM HRUBES AND down through the wiring in the is sort of like a person - it gets old. system but the load it has to carry library database are from a conver- ROBIN WHUTAKER building to the terminal room in the We all require more maintenance when the students are here and sion [to Banyan] standpoint, horren-

Cord News basement. From there, the surge actively working is very, very heavy. dous. . Last week Laurier students experi- travelled along the copper wire con- It's done what it was purchased for As for the possibility of convert- enced a familiar phenomenon - necting the hardware to the com- "machl is and more." ing the school over entirely to the machl, one of the networks operat- munication boards in the machl Machl was installed in Laurier Banyan network Langford also ed by the school, crashed. Students machine... sort of like in January of 1992, making it nearly notes "A lot depends on courses received explanatory messages for Then starting in early August, 5 years old. moving to Banyan. If the instructor various problems that had been some air-conditioning malfunctions a - it In spite of this the possibility of moves to Banyan it puts less load on occurring around campus upon log- resulted in overheating in the person Laurier upgrading its computing machl. It's hard to predict." ging onto the network. The mes- machine room and machl began systems in the near future seems For the students and faculty who sage for the machl network failure having problems. gets old. unlikely. lost work due to the failures the read in part: In retrospect, we realize that the According to Greenwood "Cost is release to Laurier News states "By "Machl was unstable all week. A surviving pair of communication We all an issue like never before. It's been the time school started in bad memory controller board was boards in machl were experiencing a practice not to charge our stu- September, the frequency of failure replaced Tuesday. The last set of intermittent failures..." require dents for their computing. Laser of the [communication] boards was original communication boards The release goes on to state that printing is the only thing we charge increasing, and bringing much grief were removed Friday. The first two in order to deal with the problem more main- for. It would be quite a leap for us to to users... With the board removed, sets of original communication "We ran diagnostics, but the diag- go to a situation where we're talking we are confident that machl is back boards were replaced due to dam- nostics program failed to pinpoint about charging students, but we to normal performance. Computing age from the lightening strike in the the problem. In fact, the program tenance can'trule out anything forever." and Communication Services very spring.. does not check such low-level hard- Carl Langford, Manager Systems much regrets the inconvenience In a pressrelease for the Laurier ware as communication boards." when Computing and Communication experienced by machl users as a News, Arleen Greenwood, When asked whether machl is Services feels that "The physical result of this elusive hardware prob- Education and Training co-ordina- now stable enough for students to we're old." machine [machl] can be incremen- lem." tor for Computing and use Greenwood responded "Yes, we tally updated... things can be added Along with the apology Communication Services, offers do believe that we've found the when we're old." in bits and pieces." Greenwood added, "It's not excuses. additional explanation: source of the problems." She noted As for complaints from students He also pointed out that machl We really feel bad about all the "Last spring, the Bricker that "We will have weeks stretching about the ability of machl to meet still is an effective system, "Mail is inconvenience to the people who Residence was struck by lightening. into months where there won't be their needs Greenwood responded much easier to administer from a suffered, but there wasn't really The surge of electricity travelled any maintenance required. Machl "Machl is a good workhorse of a central datapoint, and things like the anything we could've done." What has been your worst computing experience at Laurier?

"I lost information regarding a 'The long line-ups" "LUhile setting up a neiu machl job from a Public Relations "Writing 4 pages of e-mail and account, it claimed that I Company in that I Christianßelair then hauing the screen freeze." already had a password." receiued through e-mail 3rd Year Business because the computer system Becky Vu Darren Dempsey failed." 3rd Year Sociology 2nd Year French A. Trevor Venturino Quotes and pictures 3rd Year Communications compiled by JennyWong Laurier leans on / youl ye*r e c I Peer Help / 5 Aeerin„ / Line / r tJ, / NICOLE FANCOURT the root of the problems and help thatyou don'thave to be in a crisis sit- e Cord News them explore Iheir own options." uation to call the line. / Mun/° / Need someone to talk to? Someone Students who call the line may "A person can call for any reason. «a„gs who will listen and not give you want- choose to remain anonymous, and the No reason is too small or too large,* ed advice? Then why not give the vol- fact that volunteers sign a privacy oath she said. "If you're just having a unteers at Laurier's Pear Help line a ensures that all calls are kept strictly rough day, or a good day, and you call. confidential. want someoneto listen to you and not Established in 1993, the student- Before they can begin working on give advice then we're the place to run Peer Help Line is a confidential fibte line, Peer Help line volunteers are call." / S4-PB / listening and referral service for WLU required to complete 25 hours of Students can reach the Peer Help ForI SR students. training. me by callingBB4-PEER. "Basically, it's a sounding board/' Volunteers receives instruction in From now until Thanksgiving / / said Jennifer Carter, the line's coordi- crisis and suicide intervention, and weekend, the line's services will be in / " nator. When people call the line we active listening. As well, they learn operation between from 8 pm and Reasons don't give them advice and we don't how to give referrals to on and off midnight, seven days a week. Helpline's / offer them solutions to their problems. campus, community-based, social After the holiday, volunteers will be One of posters Essentially, what we do is listen to programs and self'help groups. available to take calls from 7 prat to 1 around campus. how they're feeling in order to get to Yet, Carter Is quick to point out am. Anonymous student volunteers work to help you through a crisis.

theCord September 18,1996 3 (News> Meet the new Dean

opportunities in other faculties. I more Western-like model? The faculty at Laurier is a good mix for the evaluation... I'd take a very SHAHZAD GORAYA would like if we were able to devel- No, I don't think so, one of the great with people with high levels of theo- all inclusive view of teaching quality, Cord News op linkages with the school of Social strengths ofLaurier is it is very inte- retical training and people with a lot and look for ways in the evaluation Dr. Scott Carson takes over the helm Work, the Arts and Sciences for pro- grated. It doesn't have separate of business experience. There are process to enhance it improve it and as the Dean of the School of grams, majors, specializations, and units fighting with each other. I quite a large number of faculty keep it vigorous. Business and Economics. Dr. interesting combinations that we're think that a business school has an members who had extensive busi- Do you feel that the pressure Carson's career has been evenly not currently doing. I'd be very image in can't present that supple- ness careers. put on faculty to do research split between the academic and interested in exploring those and ments the overall university image... What are your thoughts regard- inhibits their overall ability to business world. Before arriving at I've spoken to the Deans of the I think the SBE's best interests are ing the teacher evaluation perform? Laurier he served as the head ofthe other faculties who are likewise linked with the University's best process in place in the SBE? My experience has actually been the Faculty of Commerce at St. Mary's interested in seeing what we might interests overall. We are a part of ...It's certainly the case that the eval- opposite, it's sometimes felt that University in be able the Laurier community and the uation of teaching is crucially there is too much emphasis on Halifax, N.S. to do things we do have to be for the important to the development of an research and perhaps in certain cir- Dr. Carson together. greater well being of the institution academic faculty members career... cumstances there is... Most also brings a It's very overall. It's important when you look at (lie Academics will tell you that host of real impor- Speaking of Business faculty, overall evaluation that an individual research tends to be a very impor- world expe- tant wouk! you want to see perhaps course that doesn't come off partic- tant part of their teaching, its invigo- rience and these more faculty that have rea! ularly well isn't overblown in terms rating.... I think that a balance, that contacts he days for world experience, people that of its importance, because if you do research is very stimulating for aca- has devel- students were out there and then decid- tiiat then the desire to be creative demics, and thatkind of stimulation oped over to get a ed to teach? and build is hindered out of concern comes across. the years. cross dis- ciplinary Why did perspec- you decide tive. You to OPTICAL leave SUPER St or LENS notice Ll MASTER 1 Kin.i; St. Xoith, W.iteiloo ->9S Belmont Ave. Kitchener Mary's? that in & I (Belmont & Kins; Bridgeport) , i ~,• jou-n !•>,••• ,nv,ij Its not so areas llt much that I like envi- 747-5657 570-0118 decided to leave St. Mary's as I ronmental studies, and just the con- decided to come here. My family is cern about the environment in gen- from , as am 1... I'm very eral, provides a very good opportu- familiar with the Toronto business nity for courses and opportunities community and so the opportunity amongst the programs in Science, to come to Laurier, which Is just a for instance, to connect with the terrific place, came along and it was business school. There is increas- way too good to pass up. It gave me ingly in the arts, in Music for tiie opportunity to work with a uni- instance a need for people who vei-sity and a business school that I have management skills in addition think has just enormous potential to their artistic skills and develop- 2 for I Glasses or Contacts FKFF and to do it in an environment ment and that's true as well in Buv one o unpick* pair <)l lasses or (.< ;k~i Off Frames (i )tii . . 50% & I! which is really the capital of busi- Social Work. There are people who lenses ,i' regular prut* am! uci a second one 11 Protection Tinting ![ „jI!H) i ness in Canada, and much of in fSjutttS ~ ill Mm k the do degree programs History or ■ ! .\■ ~ , T' ii \.IIKI <>ii _ i«'i j, 1 ~ ■ ( 1 ■' Oil 1 , !; vi j \ ,| jpK I(iC* He i, iv■•■l i- i Ii ii lIK i-. 111 i' .il H; I'! 1M challenge for the business program Political Science that sometimes ' ' ai time oi Mum purchase onlv. i\.. ,■ r ( > .» , si( (, • - iaiis 1h )c'/*. (u ()i > -j I)' >i r.xpi les( I us i ps! i■*l-vla, "h cs/i's is H) i>v ■ • in K i at Laurier is developing its profile need to gain experience in manage- i .ii. || I X'laiK in Niorc I-.xpavs ()i; : • with the senior business vVe a<: :ept all • • communi- ment. So in areas where they don't insurance Blu? Cross Green Shield Ministry of Community & Social Services, and Welfare Canada -DVA ' ty... 1 really would enjoy the chal- have joint programs or cross fertil- lenge of dealing with it. ization I would like to work on You mention raising the profile developing some of those. of the SBE, how do you intend How do you intend to deal with to do that? the budgetary constraints the For a business school you raise pro- school is currently facing? file witli different groups somewhat There is no doubt about it, that bud- differently. For example, you basi- getary issues are going to be a prob- cally develop in the Human lem and are going to be a problem Resource people in companies the for quite some time. So I think what feeling that a Laurier graduate is a we are going to have to do is what superior kind of person you have on any organization these days is doing the team. When you look at devel- and that is to look very carefully at oping the profile of the business the whole range of activities we school with the senior executive of a engage in and find ways in which corporation, bank president, CEO's we can do things more efficiently of very large companies you do it in and at less cost, or determine areas a different way. You do it because that are not central to us and that you are hoping to get greater we might not need to continue with. employment opportunities for stu- As well, there are revenue opportu- dents, you do it because it enhances nities that universities have histori- the over-all reputation of the. univer- cally not tapped or are only now Now Available At sity. This draws potential money, beginning to do so, it goes beyond contributions and other kinds of just fundraising. It's things like part- support that the large corporate nering with business and industry business environment at YVLU is organizations where we have some- very g00d... 1 think it would benefit thing that they require or would the university and the business benefit from and they have some- school to have a more nationally thing they are able to provide that and internationally representative we ourselves couldn't generate. As student body. we point forward in the next year of Many students are enrolled in the planning and replanning the Admin option, what are process for us, is going to be to your thoughts about that pro- examine ways of generating exter- Come In And Order Your gram and how do you plan to nal support that we currently enhance it? haven't tapped... I have found in the I am not sure, I have just finished past that I was able to generate rev- Custom Leather Jacket Now my second week so I am not at the enue for marketing by tapping stage yet where I have looked at donors from the business communi- programs such as the specific ty and it may well be that is where $100 Deposit Required administration options, but what I we get the funds. can say is I am very keen on finding Would you like orforsee a more ways of linking SBE programs with independent SBE, possibly a

4 September 18, 1996 theCord -(News)

ERIC HENRY is adding up. So get used to it, I'm ences m our environment. We learn Cord news Commentary here to stay. how to act and communicate from Get ready, because Culture Shock is Last year I spent a lot of time those around us, and we in turn back for another year of deep analy- going around to every faculty, only to teach others. sis into the human condition. It's find that despite our differing Symbols and institutions are time to journey once again with me, majors, most Laurier students were established that have special mean- Eric the Anthropologist, to assess the culturally alike. ing for us. If I said to you, the Turret, nature of Laurier's culture. It doesn't matter if you're doing it would have meaning to you, but I shouldn't be here, and it isn't by Math or German or Philosophy, probably not to someone from choice that I come to grace the hal- work is still work. We eat in the another culture, like Western. lowed halls of the Central Teaching... same places and drink in the same Culture is inseparable from those Shock er... Dr. Alvin Woods Building once places. who embody it, because without us, Culture again. I think that it might be because all of the symbols and norms that You see, in a perfect world I'd be from the very first week of first year, dominate our lives would be mean- off doing fieldwork on some remote we're thrown into this mess togeth- ingless. tropical island studying the cultural er. My goal this year is to make practices ofa long forgotten tribe. So I devoted some time to explor- everyone who reads this column Half my day would be spent on ing the culture we have in common. aware ofLaurier's culture. the beach; the other half chasing Laurier is a little microcosm within It goes far deeper than theatre girls in grass skirts in one of the North American society. presentations and art shows. great traditions of classical anthro- So what makes us different from Culture influences our behaviour in pology. the outside world, and what are the every facet of our lives. But it is not a perfect world. The similarities? Well, I'm still looking We line up at the book store fact is, those fascist government offi- into it. because shoving your way to the cials in charge of handing out money- For all you freshly recruited frosh front is unacceptable. We put up screwed me over again. out there who still can't find 202 with early morning classes because I spent more cash on bribes than Regina, and anyone who just plain that is the way things are done. Our I got back in grants. With OSAP and forgot, I'm going to give a little responsibility lies in evaluating why that night of debauchery in a refresher course on Anthro 101. it is that we do things and what the Windsor casino, my debt for the year Culture is the sum of our expert- reasons are that govern our actions. Can Vour "Guys" Swim? K'j

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Public Mischief 2305 hrs Wed 11 Sept % Officers responded to a report of a female claiming to be in possession of a firearm. Further investigation revealed that the individual involved did not have a firearm and that this claim may been a result ofconsuming alcohol along with certain medication. Hie individual was a UoW student and was evicted from campus with a warning that she was not to return to WLU controlled property.

Mischief 0200 hrs Thu 12 Sept 96 Officers responded to a report that some individuals were attempting to break signs at the Student Union Bldg. On arrival no suspects or damage to w% ■ ipnpn signs could be found. 1111 l nHI Bsk Uttering Threats Mon 02 Sept 96 - Wed 11 Sept 96 jlfe,, Seats are Limited A WLU student attended at security office toreport that another WLU stu- dent had made threatening remarks to her. The matter will be forwarded to the DAC.

||| mms9 Jl _-n Mischief under $5000.00 0150 hrs Fri 12 Sept 96 A WLU student was apprehended after damaging a light standard in the area of the Science Bldg. The damage was unintentional and restitution Efßswlp IGcxirS jFS will be made. ** CUTS Travel CUTS has the best deals on flights home for the Theft Under $5000.00 TRAVEL 2000 -2010 hrs Sept 96 holidays, but they're going fast. Some Christmas VOmGES CAMPUS A WLU student reported the theft ofhis wallet at the Athletic Complex. The Student Travel experts flights are already full! Reserve your seat NOW

Student ...... period provincial notices were Building . During this time 4 and 2 offence Union , warnings 75 University Avenue West for maximum vaiue and flexibility. issued. 886-8228 operated by _ Owned and the CanadianFederation oI Students. Ont. Reg #04412342

theCord September 18,1996 5 r g I Help Offered promoting inn 1 ional under Nl. • ,- \i msoll Wbrd/Kxtv 'xtn ash i <;ali Fraser at welcomes students. Service 10.30 standing, requires volunteers for skills, $84-0631, . _ Basic accounting 7 bookkeep- a.m. Social Group 7,00 p.m. Word Processing Service Adult Leadership positions in ing exp. an asset. 2nd year

" ■ lists, form letters, etc. on recycled you enjoy working with teenagers, ence. Professional Environment! for experienced door to door sales and Bridgeport). paper. Laser printing, dictaphone, possess leadership and communica- Deadline Oriented? Must be able to reps/ Hind raisers. Six days a week available. Audrey 884-712.5. than this expense paid, unique including salary expectations to: Call today start tomorrow. Call Kent The Great < n Brewing experience could be for you. roi Ov >64-2370 Mui: Controller at 1-800-4474826. Leave message. Festival. 150 t>pcs ol'Beer tosam- dc,aiLs ODDortunrties nwT - contafit Dy°r suiiivan ■ ■ at 570-1323 prior to Nov. 1/%. Interested in trave Travel Cuts is looking for a p;irt. time SHVhr piece work, guaranteed by Grvpohon Centre. Sept. 20-22. $8 Beer Show Beer Show Marketing Assistant to promote contract. Apply in personal Admission. (519) 767-5060. ' ' ' ■ • ' ' ' ■ : . ■ ipllfl pie from across Canada, Hurope pie from across Canada, Hurope at 886-8228 or Dick up an applica- Full training. rOf Scl3@ ;uid the USA. University of Guelph, and the USA. University of Guelph, Lion at Travel Cuts in the Students' Gryphon Centre. Sept. 20-22. S8 Gryphon Centre. Sept. 20-22. $8 Union Building. 1983 Admission. (519) 767-5060. (519) Admisskm. 767-5060. HOUSinQ 4 dr. 121,000 km. New tires, Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! brakes, exhaust, battery. Make a difference in a Child's Models and Actors Needed Sales & Merchandising Group is 4 month lease- starts January 199? Mechanically sound. .As is. $750. Life by Kitchener agency for u[>eoming currently recruiting for retail spe- 3 rooms in a house just; minutes 0.b.0. l-riends, a service of Canadian local and Toronto assignments cialisi to represent our client Roger-; from VVLU. House has separate MonUd Health Association, Waterloo (fashion shows, catalogues, adver- Can tel. Selling and promoting kitchen and bathroom. It is fur- PCMTSOI^ciSS Regional Branch, Is currently seek- tising, promoiions. 'IV commercials, Cantel cellular service and product. nishwl with carpeting in each room. ing volunteers to support children in etc.) Skills workshops, photo ses- Part-time and/or full time reps are Very clean with large deck, BBQ, Darting... one-to-one relationships to assist in sions. and immediate agency repre- required for November-December video library, cable and I miss you. Please don'tforget about developing self-esteem and social seutation available for beginners. "96 and will be based in retail out- washer/dryer. Its home away from me during your CA exams. I'll ho A skills. cliild - meets with Uieir vol- 112 lexible hours to suit your schedule, lets. Salary SKVhr. No commission home. 5325/month utilities includ- waiting for you. { know how to dis- unuvr weekly during school hours. For appointment call 743-6550 selling. Training provided. Apply ed. Call Paul @ 747-2681 or Steve tract rat from ail of those pesky ta\ Needed in schools throughout 9 a.m. to 9 pm. at Career Centre by @886-0672. questions. Don't forger. to bring the Waterloo Region. Call 744-4806 Semptember 20 or contact the Jell-o, I'll handle the rest. ext. 335. Employment campus captain Matt Schnarr at EVGIItS cHld IflfO Sweetchee,« Beer Show Tired of looking through thoti- The Great Canadian Brewing Progressive Student Painting Part-time Work Available Beer Show sands of outdated books in the Festival. LaO types of Beer to sam- Company Sun-Thurs. nights. Custodial work The Great Canadian Brewing library to research your topic? pie from across Canada, hurope. currently seeking applications for: at local restaurants and nightclubs. Festival. 150 types of beer to sam- Don't waste your time, thumbing and the USA. University ol Guelph, Jr. AcctAMfice Manager Flexible scheduling. Responsible pie from across Canada, Europe, through the yellowing pages of an Gryphon Centre. Sept. 20-22. $8 Process fin stmts for 2 divisions, applicants. Call DKC Cleaning ser- and the USA. University of Guelph, archaic resource system. Check us Admission. (519) 767-5060. Computerized A/P Subledger. vires at 622-8994. Giyphon Centre. Sept.* 20-22. S8 out on the internet, we help thou- Pay rolls, (.ash Reports, Accounts Admission. (519)767-5060. sands of students with their term Children's Internationaf Payable, Bank Reconciliations, Students Wanted for paper needs. Web address: Summer Villages ( Waterloo General and Administrative Duties, Employment Envnanuei United Church Young vvwvv.plagiarism.com.

- r , —

| The Cord Guide j is coming... You Have The Choice Because We Have The Selection! IWLUSP publishes an on and off campus student Develop and print a 24 exposure roll I phone book, for student distribution in mid to late of" 36 mm or 1 1 0 colour print film*. . October. $. Doy In Store If you are a residence student, please tell the

• *Exciud es housing office if you do not want your phone num- gag Jmf Panoramic Prints I • Not valid with any other offer

* ber published in The Cord Guide. If you tell the II Ja? % or coupon I • igp V Expires Nov. 10/96

. housing office this, they won't give it out to callers either. If do not tell the you Housing Office, your wit > 91 W IA(Across trom112 Waterloo lown Square)s IBBent's'' foto source 96 St. S. number will automatically be published. You can King j I Welcomes The Class of 2000! 886-1320 I jcall the Housing Office at 884-1970 ext. 3746. If you are not a residence student and you do not fS ; want your phone number to be printed, please clip this and drop it off in a box located in the Centre Spot. Again, if you do not let us know, we will publish your number. IWe lfE fBIIIN [ This must be done by September 26. / Headquarters For: ' i 4 WeArs ! i x Here ~;; NO! I do not want my phone number j J printed in the Cord Guide.

Name I J Student of Pairs in Stock! Number

I— — J 6 September 18, 1996 theCord OPINION Editorial Not taking care of Business

University students are getting a bum deal. Our University degrees have become an expensive product (though its value may vary) we mail order out of a glossy brochure. More often then not, students find out upon arriving at the Cord WEEKLY Laurier that they can't get into the courses they originally wanted. Yes folks, the school can't always live up the high expectations promised in that brochure. It is often the Arts faculties at Laurier who find themselves under the knife of the budget cuts. Courses become "The tie that binds since 1926" erased, profs retire early, and class sizes increase. The latest faculty to face the shrinkage factor? Believe it or not, Laurier s own Business School. It seems the powers that be decided that in reducing the amount of money that business Teaching Assistants make is the most fiscally responsible way of dealing with the cuts the government has handed down to Ontario Universities. I know that being a Business 111/121 TA is considered quite a prestigious and reputable mark on Kwiiisp^ one's resume, but I also know that those TA's are spending time their valuable time trying to make the way easier for first year students not only for their reputation but also for the money. Volunteer work is good for the soul, but A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication for the cold hard cash that puts food in the stomach. The cut in the average Business TA.'s wage is by two thirds. They are now receiving one third of what last year's 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 crop of TAs did. Excuse me? Was I absent the day that the price ofrent and groceries decreased by 66%? I didn't (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 think so. To compensate, the school has decided to give their Bus. 111/121 TA.'s a half course credit. Senior busi- Fax: (519) 884-7723 ness students are now receiving credit for teaching other business students. How does this justify a cut in wages? Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3566 But the TA's are not the only ones who suffer. "English for Business Students" was a mandatory course for first year students. Was. The program was originally created, it was believed, to satisfy the hiring needs of employers "0h...l don't feel good. I can feel my throat closing up. like Proctor and Gamble, who often complained that Laurier's Business grads couldn't write a simple report in prop- Shit...where's my mom? I'm sick." er grammar. Senior English students were brought in to act as TA's to the masses. The result was a more literate class. But, it seems, literacy and proper punctuation in a business is too a goal. -Greg Chownyk student costly The program was erased. English TA's lost their jobs, and business students lost the opportunity to improve on basic skills. Editorial Board It is first year students who should be complaining. Their labs are now conducted by those who may be less Editor-in-Chief Melanie Seal motivated to teach, those who may have had to take other jobs to fill the financial void. Has this decreased die num- News Editor Tom Hrubes ber of applicants to the Business TA. program. The Bus 111/121 office assures me it has not. But what about the Associate News Editor Lori Dysievick quality of the applicants? One would think that those who are most qualified for the job are also able to find more Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter financially rewarding outside work. Assistant Entertainment Editor Robin Whittaker Getting the best person for the job should be the primary objective for the school of Business and Economics. The Sports Editor Greg Chownyk small labs, learning through peers, and excellent TA.'s have earned a great reputation for Laurier. Their wages Assistant Sports Editor Jim Donnelly should be nowhere near the chopping block when the SBE deals with its funding cuts. Features Editor Ann-Marie Smith Seal, Life Editor Ann Iluskinson Editorial by Melanie Editor-in-Chief The opinions expressed in this editorial are those ofthe author, and do not necessarily reflect those ofthe Cord Staff, the edito- Production Manager Mike Vencel rial board, or WilfridLaurier University Student Publications. Cord Staff Production Assistants Tina Tarn Kathy Cawsey Iraqis, who once enjoyed one of we go back to 1979, after the Classified Coordinator Vacant Letters the highest standards of living in Iranian Revolution, we see a simi- Copy Editor Christina Mogk the Middle East. The sanctions lar occurrence. The price of oil International Coordinator Vacant are also illegal according to U.N. went up from $8 a barrel to $40. Student Publications to the Editor law, as they ban the importation of American oil conglomerates have Staff medicine and food stuffs, of which a vested interest in Mid-Eastern Photo Manager Marion Hensel 60% were imports for Iraq. The instability, and are quite fond of Photo Technican Steve Williams Big Brother primary victims of these sanctions Mr. Hussein and his ilk. The U.S. Art Director Jeremy Kerr have been infants, many of whom government acts accordingly. As Systems Administrator John Maljkovich not single-minded simply die from malnutrition, on for removing President Hussein, World Wide Web Editor Andrew White top of the disease caused by the this was never the intent of Advertising Manager Robert Norris Dear Editor, USAF's bombing of sewage plants, American actions in the Gulf, past Ad Sales Representive Vacant Re: Big Brother Helps Himself. and lack of medicine. The number or present. For years he was an Ad Production Manager Dannielle ChartrancL First, I'd like to thank Melanie for of infant deaths has spiralled into ally, especially after the debacle in Ad Production Assistant Vacant her critical editorial on Uncle the tens of thousands. The total Iran. The preferred methods of Atheletic Advertising Manager Pete Robinson Sam's most recent round of abuse number of Iraqi deaths (military Presidential removal in U.S. for- Administration towards the Iraqi people. It's a and civilian) following the Gulf eign policy are military coup, as in refreshing change from the bull- War has been estimated at Chile, or outright assassination, as President Laurie Legault shit churned out by corporate 500,000. The sanctions have been in former President letter. But the VP of Finance Kevin MacDonald (mainstream) media. Secondly, I'd increasing this number. So much subject does not lend itself to brevity. VP of Operations David Janzen like to add some quips of my own. for absurd, sanitized, video game In case you actually give a damn Public Relation Manager Vacant Clinton certainly needs this recent war, the vicious parody of human where I got these seldom discussed Board of Directors Shayne Lidkea beat-up to look "strong" before the suffering fed to us by the State tidbits about the Gulf War, I suggest Beth Costelec Jen Clarke American public, it'll get their Department. The fact that "food some of the following library books: Christine Gergich Ryan Lock minds off pesky issues like their for oil" deals are openly discussed "The Fire This Time" by Domenico Magisano Ramsey dwindling savings, maxed out in the media without people Clarke, a thoroughly sordid account The not Cord will print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a voting credit cards, sinking wages screaming "extortion!" is a tribute of the of the body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cora and for illegality whole tiling, as subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses within Canada. The Cord isprinted by CanWeb Printing. The a little while. To the best of my to the level of indoctrination in well as American war crimes. Cord is a member of Canadian University Press. All commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of the Cord staff, the editorial board, or VVLU Publications. knowledge, the U.S. is the only North American society. The lame "Deterring Democracy" by Noam country in the contemporary justification that bad ol' Saddam Chomsky is also another useful, as Contributors: Colleen (Christine) Nicholson, Lynn Pauli, Babe the Pig, Tim industrialized West where a leader has failed to destroy "weapons of well as "The New World Order", by Kingston, Sean Moore, Trainspotting Soundtrack (again!), Dan Kerr, Erin can greatly increase his popularity, mass destruction" is a farce. The a group authors whose Keating, Randy Waechter, a photo of names I Bob Marley that just didn't work out, acts Sarah Papple, Sarah MacLaughlan, Jenny Wong, Jo Ann Little, Stephanie via of war. If there is such a extent of Iraq's capabilities in this can't remember. In short, doen't Price, Nicole Fancourt, little green men, Lauren Stephen, Teri White, tiling as "national character", then area were grossly exaggerated, believe the hype! Alexander Houston, Jen Ferguson, Ray the Temp, Simon Isbistor, Shahzad clearly there's something a tad along with the strength of the Iraqi John Lane Goraya, lily pharmaceuticals the makers of Prozac, large Quantities of Coca- wrong with America's. Of course army, as the "war" demonstrated. Cola, Craig TUllett, Bananas in Pyjamas, Dave Kerth, Davia Duchovny, Chris the real issues here are oil and In fact, Saddam Hussein to Carter, James Eaton, Apple Computers, Jennifer Martin, Finnigan, The Cord offered is printed on pleutonium-free newsprint, in the event that you detect radia- control. The Kurds are a conve- destroy Iraq's weapons of mass Partyin' On The tion from The Cord, please call l-800-sucks-2BU. nient means by which the US can destruction if Israel did years ago. put on its usual act a lily white cru- This never occurred, however, West Coast sader. Control of Mid-East oil is despite the well documented evi- one of the few chips America has dence of Israel's possession of such Dear Editor, left, along with raw force, with weapons, because it is illegal for It was raining when I left my life at which it can coerce other industri- the American Congress to approve Laurier. Standing behind my al countries, especially Japan, financial aid to countries having Fraternity house, kissing my beauti- which buys most of its oil from such weapons. The sanctions ful girlfriend goodbye, I remember WRITEFOR THE CORD. American suppliers. American oil have, however, kept oil prices fighting back my tears and thinking, corporations and speculators are higher than they normally would "Holy Shit, I'm really outa here." As YOU SUBMIT. getting very rich off the misery of be, which was their actual pur- I jumped in my overloaded old WILL ordinary Iraqis. The complete pose. The recent bombings have BMW and pulled away from that destruction of Iraq's basic infra- also been good business for giant, ugly, party-torn house, which structure, combined sanctions, America. CBC Radio announced had been the eye of my madness for have spelt starvation and epidemic that after the bombing, the value the last four years, I rolled down the for hundreds of thousands of of Imperial Oil's stocks went up. If (letters continued page 8)

theCord September 18,1996 7 -(Opinion)

windows, laid on the horn, and howled in tri- Whistler I hadn't talked to anyone in five umph as I executed a free-throttle kick down days. I was wearing the same soiled outfit I as if to let the Gods know I was free! I was woke up in the day I left, and I singing Whistler bound baby and that's as free as shit abizarre rmix of my three tapes that went gets. something like, "Everybody's gone surfing in As I rolled acros this great country of ours, PEI with the gambler." beholding for the first time the glorious won- Now that I'm here in Whistler life is ders the make-up Canada I realized suddenly SWEET. I have worked as a pizza delivery that I should have flown. God damn is that a guy, a bouncer, and a sales clerk at Roots. 1 long drive! Yea Canada Rocks but when your now have settled into a couple of great jobs as parked nose down in a ditch somewhere the assistant curatot at an art gallery, and as between Thunder Bay and Jackshit Manitoba a HOT TUB REPAIR man. It ain't Wall Street the only thing going through your head is, "I baby but I make big cash, live in a hard core should have fucking flown." To make things chalet, and ski my ass off. Life is good. worse, I couldn't open my trunk to get at my I do however miss my friends and broth- CD player so I had to listen to the same 6 ers at WLU and not a day passes that you are freakin' discs for 5800 km. Every time I not in my thoughts. If there is one piece of stopped for gas I would buy a tape to listen to. advice I can give you as your former Student Ever see the music selection in a Petro Union President and friend, it is follow your Canada station in Moose Jaw Saskatchewan? heart where ever it leads you. Don't let any- & Well let me tell ya I was groovin' along to one tell you you can't be who you want to be September 24 25 at Stompin' Tom, Kenny Rogers, and the Beach or go where you want to go...And if the

Boys for about 70 straight hours. I know Machine gets in your way ~ burn it. there some of you hard core types out there saying that these guys are soem wicked lis- Work hard but party harder, tening, but imagine been locked in a small Scottcha of the Hill People room with all three of these freaks for three days in the pissing rain. By the time 1 got to

CORRECTION I iist week, a letter thankingbasically everyone involved in Orientation Week was said : to have been written by "Deb Coupe" when in fact, the letter of thanks was written by i "Deb Doupe". Deepest apologies for any confusion this may have caused. 9 am to 5 pm

Letters Policy •All letters must be signed and submitted with the authors name- student identification number and telephone number. Who will be there? ￿All letters will be printed with the author's name. Letters can be; printed without the authors name only by permission of the Editor- in-Ghief ￿Lottej-s must be received by noon Hiesday for publication in that Travel Cuts week's issue in print, on disk, or via e-mail to: 22cord@mach 1,wlu,ca •letters that art? submitted on disk or via e-mail must be accompa- nied by a signed hard copy. Sports •Letters must be typed, double spaced, and cannot exceed 500 Medicine World words. •Hie Cord reserves the right to edit any letter. Spelling and gram- mar wiH not be cojrected. •The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter in whole or in part, TCBY that is in violation of existing Cord policies. Blue Dog Bagels Koala Beverages

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8 September 18, 1996 theCord Talk is cheap and school is not.

Paying for your education is a lesson in finances. • Step 2: Call 1-800-786-4997 Where can you cur costs ro get by? Books? Can't. • ,V and $ave.

Entertainment? Not likely. Long distance? Yes! , ' H * • 3: See Step,. Step Take the money f you save with • Step 1: Get to know the facts. Sprint Canada and party.

(to to them) $§ (like we to one!) know them is love if' .- i had tell you that THE MOST™ savings plan... & r '« wf- r k u cu- i rWwJm?- -m 112 Crib sheet version or this lesson: • there's no monthly minimum k • I Sign up with Sprint Canada, save and part)', spending limit... . v. Class over.

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Some residences are not accessible to Sprint Canada. See residence facilities manager lor access details. 1 M,®: Sprint, the Sprint logo, 1 HE MOST FOR THE LEAST, THE MOST, THE MOST logo are trademarks ofSprint Communications Company L.P., used under licence by Sprint Canada Inc. © Sprint Canada Inc., 1996. STUDENTLIFE Tips to stay stress-free

STEPHANIE PRICE off the campus after the results of graduate office made a horrible mis- Cord Student Life finals are posted). Without further take in scheduling class during The first week of classes have come delay, here is the all important list "Days of Our Lives" or "Y&R." They and gone, and now is just about the that will help you survive academic understand that it would be insensi- time that Laurier students begin ask- life at Laurier: tive of you to attend class while ing themselves why they didn't Tip#l: Scheduling a class at 8:30 Cricket's life hangs in the balance. attend that "careers in hair care" in the morning is the Profs way of Many ofyour esteemed lecturers feel information seminar their high inviting you to sleep in. Take him up the same way and are willing to let school was offering. on his offer. you take a few days off from class to However, just because you have Tip#2: Textbooks? Why bother? get over finding out the identity of two assignments due and five That money could be much better the Lady in White. midterms all on the same day, it spent on a trip to Mexico, and profs Tip#s: Most exams are common doesn't mean you have to feel are always very sympathetic to this sense. Take accounting, for example stressed out. argument. - why would you need to study about While contemplating my own Tip#3: Profs mean it when they GAAP when you already buy most of frightening calendar, I have com- say that there is a 15% participation your clothes there? prised a list of tips that are guaran- mark. The best way to combat this I hope these tips prove helpful in teed to leave even the worst stress emphasis on participation is to allowing you to lead a more stress- case thinking happy thoughts. ensure that you never attend class. free university life. By following this In addition, the list has been The Prof can't give you a participa- list, you can still have that exciting proven to allow you to leave school tion mark if she's never met you can career in hair care that you have much sooner (those nice campus she? always dreamed. security guards will kindly escort you Tip#4: Profs realize that the under- Don't let the pressures of class get you down Fun with friends awaits.

16th Annual Terry Fox Run - Light the candle of hope

ANN HUSKINSON tive event. You can even choose the Canadian hero. moving towards Regional Roads 27 Stonecrock or the Roadhouse (both Cord Student Life distance, from 1 to 10 km. Luckily, these individuals were and 29. You can pick up sponsor in Elmira), since the waitstaffat both Cancer: a dreaded disease that has However, there is one thing you not able to tarnish the memory of sheets at any bank, the Stonecrock, of these restaurants will be donating affected all of our lives. We all fear it can't afford to choose: to ignore this such a wonderful and courageous or Big V Drugstores. their Saturday tips to the Run. and no doubt have all lost dear ones disease any longer. The percentage person. If anything, this disgusting Bring your sweats because there With bands playing throughout due to its terrible effects. The fight of the population who contract can- act should make us want to fight for will be aerobics instructors conduct- the day. exercise to get your heart against cancer is insurmountable by cer every year is steadily on the rise, Tern 's cause even more. ing a short warm-up session before pumping, and food to fill your stom- one individual, but in numbers we which means we are all at risk. We all need to get involved, so the run begins. And don't worry ach, the event promises to bring a can do a great deal. Cancer will not go away, at least not why not participate in the run this about filling that hunger gap before smile to everyone's face, including One of the best ways to con- without your help. weekend. Its alj taking place this you leave home because there will those you will help with your kind tribute to tiie battle is to get involved After the recent vandalism of the Sunday, September 22nd in Elmira. be a free barbeque following the actions. in this year's Terry Fox Run. If Terry Fox statue in Thunder Bay, it Registration is at 12:30 at the Home event. For more information, or to you're not a runner, don't worry - is indeed apparent that some mem- Hardware on Industrial Drive. The It is, however, a good idea to get make a donation, please contact you can also walk, jog, wheel or bike bers of our society are sick enough Run will take place from 1 to 4 p.m., pumped up the day before the event co-ordinators Tracy Roth at 656- your way through this non-competi- to damage a public tribute to a great beginning on Industrial Drive and by going out for a big meal at the 3423, or Stacey Ash at 669-2347. Saucy Pork chops Marks can take you only sofar... ANN HUSKINSON my floormates; getting involved with Cord Student Life the Psych. Society, Anthro. dub and I am currently eight months away WaterbuQaloes; painting myself like Budget from graduating from this fine insti- a crazy fool for football games; Student Menu tution and am already being haggled hanging out with my brother floor; LYNN PAULI with questions about my future. making friends. Cord Student Life Personally, I'm content focusing on Second year: moving into my the present, most importantly get- first apartment, still fresh with the ting out of this place. smells of paint; oom-pah-pahing at 4 to 5 thin pork chops Not that I don't love Laurier and Oktoberfest; heavy into BufTaloeing; its superb social atmosphere, it's just the Irish Student Association's pre- 1 tbsp. that I'm not very enthusiastic about St. Patrick's Day Bus Tour (this is my oil. academics anymore. Don't ask me kinda' club!); talking, laughing, cry- 1 small onion, sliced how I could possibly be sick of ing, and reminiscing with my school now that I am embarking roomies; having tuns o' fun working 1 can cream of mushroom soup upon my 18th consecutive year, but at Wilf's; becoming part of the the whole thing is getting a little old. warm, fuzzy, silly Cord family. 1/2 soup can of milk I mean, it's great that I'm finally So far third year: genuinely studying something I truly enjoy, but happy to see my friends after my 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms the all-nighters, twenty-page essays, summer overseas; being sick and and stress headaches are finally tak- wanting my parents by my side to 1 shake Worcestershire sauce ing their toll. comfort me. School is important but even Although I can't put most of 1/4 cup white wine more important are the people you these things on my resume, they meet, the things you do, and the have helped to shape me as a per- (optional) memories you make. son. I will soon have my university When I look back at my years degree and will be proud of it, but I spent at Laurier, I'm not sure how will be even more proud of what I much I will remember of the content have done at Laurier outside of the Fry pork chops in at of my courses (although I will fondly classroom. on medium-high heat, until brown on remember certain professors), but I So maybe I won't make a lot of both sides, lay do know that I will remember my money, live in a mansion, or drive a experiences outside of the class- nice car. I would rather be happy

- -S and be to say that .V : room. and fulfilled able ; , <• -1 The things I will remember university gave me laughter and about first year: leaving my home friends and freedom. Freedom to be Wh and parents, a little sad but more who I want to be, go where I want to

- . . ■ : excited; frosh week - screaming like go, and do what I want to do. For minutes. Serve with rice or noodles HP a mad fool and painted red from no degree can replace the fun I've desired. head to toe; eating, watching t.v., had or the memories I've made, my laughing and late-night talks with friend.

10 September 18,1996 theCord -{Student Life) Say What?! Cord Staff Meeting Friday September 20 Laurier Lingo at 2:3opm. SARAH DESOUZA gans to "Join a dub" or "Rush," and Cord Student Life I'm sure all of us at one time or Be there. another have been forced to talk to So here we are with our first full the guys selling the unbeatable week of classes under our belts. "Long Distance Plans." After being overwhelmed by numer- There are no house parties, only ous course outlines and feeling the "Raging Keggers." Everybody's from to ourselves into guy is the Live the Cord need transform favourite still "BoozMan"- Archives functioning students again, its time and if you hear anyone say they to settle in for another year of acad- were trashed, wasted, bombed, emic bliss. tanked, pissed, smashed, ham- Perhaps from the normality of mered, wrecked, totalled, shitfaced, summer vacation, we are all suffer- sloshed, or just "so fuckin' drunk" ing from a bit of culture shock at last night, he probably paid them a being back among our intellectual call. Animals test peers. Maybe a refresher course in We never answer a question with campus lingo will make us feel more the word yes, but instead elaborate at home, so let me see if I can jar with the all knowing "Been There, my memory for jargon. Done That." There is no studying

Lets start by getting re-acquaint- allowed at this fine institution - only liquor laws ed with Laurier s vast city block. We "Cramming." Haven't started that may all be feeling a little confused essay that's due tomorrow better since the historic "CTB" has been re- grab a "Jolt" on the way home. All EDITORIAL STAFF been set by the tire marshal! at liquor commissions point ofview. christened the "A&W" Building. of this is preceded, of course, by Cord Weekly 320 people, but they continue to However ,with all the prob- Now if we could only get a burger some intense T.V. watching. Thursday, October, 1975 pack them in. lems the pub has never done bet- and fries on every floor. All of us "Cut" class here and And once inside, the beer ter financially, the pubs are mak- I'm sure we've all had a good there, but a good combination of It appears thai, pub goers at drinkers pull their own bottles ing money. sweat at the "A.C." for one reason or "Jerry Springer," "The Price is Oonestoga College can't have their from their pockets in an effort to According to the pub manager, another. And if, perchance, you're Right," "Days of Our lives," "The beer and drink it too. save the 50 cents per bottle profit Jami Carkwell, "THis year we are looking for the Office of the Registrar Dukes of Hazzard," "The Marriage At least that's the way the margin charged by the bar. The enjoying a margin of success. It or something of the like, it is cordial- Counsellor," and "Baywatch Nights," liquor commission here feels. extra bottles found at pub closing, would be a shame to have the ly referred to as "202 Regbia"- our will teach you all you need to know According to them, the students at if the practice continues, could pubs close down because of a home a block away from home. about the world and prepare you for the college are breaking basic handful of animals." Then there's gender! A hot bed the future. liquor laws which may lead a In addition the drinkers do not And pub staffer moral is of issues with its own intrinsic Not to mention the fact that any revocation of the Conestoga Liquor seem to be content to drink in the reportedly high. It is even vocabulary, so I'll try and keep it to a one of these entertaining programs license. assigned area declared by law. rumored that College President minimum ofterms for sheer simplic- will provide hours of conversation Students, it seems, cannot be The washroom areas have Ken Hunter phoned to say how ity. The girls here are endearingly with everyone you meet on campus kept away from the student-run become the "in spot" for the happy he was with the profession- referred to as "Babes", or more the next day. That is, of course, pub. The maximum capacity has drinkers-a definite no-no from the al job the staff are doing. commonly just "That Chick." The unless you run into the all too boys are "Dudes", or more likely "Cheesy Browner" who spent last "Mr. Peen." It is important to night reading his entire collection of remember, though, there is no sex textbooks, because he didn't believe without a "Dome," because you in judging the cover before reading never know where someone has all 762 pages. 'Torqued" before. So let's all try to lighten our The Frosh may still be hibernat- speech patterns, bearing these mod- ORIGINS ing inside the walls of their "Res," est concepts in mind. Remember only venturing out for the undeni- that anyone can fit in here by using ably "Raunch" aroma in the Dining common advertising jinglesto elabo-

Hall - no insult to the grease intend- rate on any subject - don't think, ed. Those off campus stick to "Just Do It!" And when all is said "Nuking" everything now, even our and done, add a few "Likes" and "KD." "Ums" to any sentences that follow If caught in the Concourse, no and you'll be graduating before you one is immune to the infamous slo- know it.

ORIGINS 220 King St. N., #C Waterloo (Across from WLU) 519-747-1144 littp://www.w7.com/infovill/origins

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theCord September 18,1996 11 FEATURE

Drugs The "pros" of drug use

RANDY WAECHTER damage or long-lasting cognitive Cord Features impairment from HEAVY marijuana Many of my friends thought I was use. Evidence in Holland (where experiencing a brief episode of marijuana was legalized) suggests it schizophrenia when I explained that is not a gateway drug which leads to I had decided to write an article harder drugs. Cocaine and heroin defending and outlining the "pros" use in Holland has declined substan- of illegal drugs. those who would tially. be concerned for my welfare be When all is said and done, what assured that I am still relatively do I, your average Laurier student "sane" in that I will not defend think about hallucinogens? I believe clearly unacceptable, dangerous that our government should de- drugs such as cocaine and heroin. criminalize, not legalize marijuana Instead, 1 will focus on the category and psilocybin. Anyone caught with of drugs known as hallucinogens, these drugs should be given a civil which consist of LSD, Psilocybin fine, much the same as the $103.75 (mushrooms), and Marijuana. fine given for drinking underage. 1 lallucinogens are different from When one considers that 59.6% "hardcore" drugs in that they do not of all prisoners in the U.S. are influence the dopamine centres of detained on drug charges at a cost the brain, which are reward centres of $450,000 per prisoner, it would (they make us feel good). Animals seem logical to put this money cannot be taught to self-administer towards educating the public about these drugs (as apposed to cocaine), drugs, and then letting people use and people do not develop physical There are other addictions in life than the Cord. their own judgement, much the dependence or become addicted. same as alcohol and tobacco. Use of hallucinogens is not continual epilepsy, multiple sclerosis, AIDS, tence for importation of marijuana tobacco, which our government I believe that "getting high" by or chronic. quadriplegia, chronic pain, migraine was increased to 14 years, giving gladly sells (alcohol via the LCBO), using mushrooms or marijuana is Cannabis, or marijuana, has headaches, and menstrual cramps this law the second heaviest mini- making it the largest and most com- no different from getting drunk, but been used for its medicinal purposes worldwide. "Magic mushrooms" mum sentence in the Canadian jus- prehensive drug dealer in the coun- 1 don't ruin my liver and stomach for over 5,000 years and has been have also been used by Aztec tice system, surpassed only by mur- try. lining and wake up with a hangover grown in Canada since 1609, when Indians in mystical religious prac- der. Secondly, about 7,000 people die the next day (which, by the way is the motherland encouraged tices since at least 500 B.C. If the Canadian and American every year in North America from your body experiencing withdraw- Canadian farmers to grow hemp for Despite the many uses and past governments plan on nabbing all all illegal drugs combined, com- al). export to Europe. The marijuana history of drugs, our government those dastardly "druggies" they bet- pared to 1/2 million deaths due to When one considers how long plant can be grown in almost any still resists growing societal pressure ter start building more prisons, con- alcohol and tobacco. There has hallucinogens have been used, their climate, requires no fertilizer, and is to de-criminalize these substances, sidering that 45 million people never been a death due to marijua- medicinal properties, how safe they excellent for rope, paper, textiles, especially marijuana. Canadian leg- throughout North America have na, simply because the amount of are compared to alcohol and tobac- and over 40,000 other consumer islation criminalizing drugs such as used hallucinogens in the past year. cannaboids necessary to get stoned co, and how much it costs govern- products. heroin, cocaine and marijuana were Some myths that need to be dis- relative to overdose is 1 : 40,000 ments to try and control them, I Then there are the documented passed early in the 1900's based pelled about hallucinogens are that, compared to between 1 : 4 and 1 : don't think an individual should be medicinal properties of marijuana. solely on public opinion and propa- first of all, these are not physically 10 for alcohol. There is absolutely labeled a criminal for wanting to use It is used by sufferers of glaucoma. ganda. In 1961, the minimum sen- addicting compared to alcohol and no evidence of permanent brain them. The media and potheads

SARAH PAPPLE dye, they have waltzed across over we grew up. "Just say no!" was an abundance ofreefer. beast! Will this work on the next Cord Features our TV's and movie screens. The ingrained in our brains. We were The media is now using a new generation of high school kids? Or The media is a powerful tool which image projected was intended to be warned against pot with these scare tactic to warn us away from will they eventually grow past the can be used to promote stereotypes. negative. You and I would automat- stereotypical paranoid losers in dirty smoking pot - violence. The new media, and make their own choic- Todays top rated shows, "Seinfeld", ically become this addict-loser after clothes. So what happened? When pothead is a violent criminal: a es? "Friends", and "Beverly Hills our first puff off a joint. No one did it become fashionable to smoke gangster in "Pulp Fiction", a rapist I guess time will tell. In the mean 90210" all project images of white wants to be the guy in the corner pot? in "A Time to Kill". These are the time I'll be waiting for the block- middle class people, but the media moaning "Hey man, look at the Marijuana use is higher now big guns the media is wielding. buster that shows Tom Cruise, Mel has also created a "pothead arche- colours." with high school kids than in the No longer are kids going to Gibson, Jean Claude and Sean type" over the years. Giggling and Anti-drug campaigns and 19705; the "Dazed and Confused" worry about looking like a dummy, Connery dressed in suits and ties, unwashed in their sandals and tie images in the media barraged us as era! We all want to be Slater, with now it's the fear of turning into a passing around a huge spliff!

biu nt out®

12 September 18, 1996 theCord {Feature) Moderation.... moderation

JO ANN LITTLE the "hippie-wanna be's" who pass mote. basis (like every other hour) should nia ... I am not condemning your Cord Features around a "fatty"; all "types" of stu- But when "what is working for be on your way to rehab, but these use of soft drugs because I do not "Spark up another doobie - will dents are doing it. ya" is sucking up your cash, causing are drugs even though they can be see these occasions to "puff" as ya?" I'll be one of the first to admit you to seek isolation in the confines home-grown. problematic. Contrary to popular belief, this that a little weed or a voyage to of your bedroom, making your last The key to indulging in such What I draw attention to is request is one that is quite familiar 'shroom land can be an absolute name hard to remember, and pleasure is Moderation, Moderation, dependency. If your rolling to students at Laurier and other riot, but what can lead to trouble is becoming the breakfast, lunch and Moderation. Too much of a good machine is working overtime (or if "high"er learning centres. Organic a dependence on these escapes fcfr dinner of your day - I'd say an thing can lead to dependency; these your fingers are really sore since drugs such as weed/potAnarijuana day to day functioning. I like to think assessment of the frequent flyer "escapes" may become a coping you haven't invested in a machine (whatever you want to call it) and of myself as a very liberal individual. points that you have chalked up on mechanism for financial, social or yet) and you feel you can't get mushrooms are often a source of "To each their own," "Whatever the old "Weed Wagon" are a bit academic problems. through an hour without a joint, get fun, relaxation, stress-release and works for ya," and "As long as high. Those of you who smoke a spliff some help. Counselling services are trouble to a growing number of you're happy," are all statements This is not to say that those of before the bar, to soothe a there for you. But hey, this is justmy Laurier students. It is no longer just that I have grown to love and pro- you who use drugs on a regular headache, or cure a bout of insom- opinion. Riding a natural high If you can read this ANN-MARIE SMITH up the next morning wondering weekend at the Ttirret? Not because high every chance they can. They Cord Features what all the talk is about. they are alcoholics, but because they can't get up for their classes, they Do I do drugs? No. Why? Because I You know what? The colours in are hooked on the feeling, the way- drop out of school, and clean toilets then you don't want to and that's it. I don't my world are already pretty crazy -1 wardness and the euphoria of being at McDonalds for the rest of their think they are cool, I don't want to couldn't imagine what would hap- drunk. Try and tell me that people lives. see crazy colours and pictures, and I pen if I smoked up and added to who use drugs, whether or not they Am 1 going to the extreme? don't want to get hooked. Plain and that. Oh - they say it adds to a drunk- are "addictive", are not lovin' the Maybe. I understand for some peo- can write simple. en experience... adds to it? If I'm euphoric feeling? ple marijuana is simply a social drug Nope, I don't think getting stoned already drunk, the last thing I need Now comes the whole debate: and it's not a "problem." But under- is fun. What is so exciting about inac- is another kick in the side to knock some people think alcohol is worse stand that I just don't want any part tive activity? I would rather be doing me over. than marijuana blah, blah, blah ... of it. Your life is yours to do what for us Cord

- something and enjoying it than be Okay, okay ... I've been told a mil- When it comes down to the line, I you want with I am only talking pretending to do something. I would lion times that marijuana is not don't want to try it because I'm about what I choose to do with rather hear a good joke and laugh addictive. But people who continue afraid I will like it. I don't want to like mine. Go ahead and smoke up ifyou than giggle at the walls. I would like to smoke up must be hooked on the it because I don't want to get want, just don't expect me to sit Features. to remember how much fun I had euphoria. Why do so many kids hooked. The next thing I know I there and smile while you do - and say I contributed to it, not wake repeatedly get hammered every could be one of those kids that gets because I won't. Enough said. 0 Hf NOW OPEN [3 Vocal Cord | | RANDY WAECHTER & SARAH RAPPLE *EHKtEE KKE*&WS Cord Features a K-W'S PREMIER AUTHENTIC GREEK RESTAURANT & DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE USE := You know what they say: once you Greek, == OF ILLEGAL DRUGS AND WHY? try |=n you' I never go back. LI Aa me ie,m are mo*® d* f > aftftmftwafe 2. The food is good, too. [n /mum far- it/hUandiny cdenee-m, § rau_ r~ HOURS: MON.-wed. ii a.m.-io p.m. #vrvc; zri tryvj ~ lU THURS.-FRI. I I a.m.-I I p.M. JE .§ §> [Q, ~l Canned Greek Dinu\

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theCord September 18, 1996 13 SPORTS Hawks dominate but settle for tie against Western

CRAIG TULLETT for the remainder of the first half as Cord Sports they applied consistent pressure keeping the ball in Western territory. The women's soccer team added Sweeper Lydia Knez denied virtually another point to their tally this every Mustang attempt to clear the weekend after playing to a 1-1 draw ball and mount an offensive attack against a gritty Western Mustang of their own. club. The second half brought with it a Although the score would reveal more conservative game with most an equal performance by both of the action being played at mid- squads, this match was clearly dom- field. inated by the Golden Hawks. If not It appeared as though both for a few missed chances and poor teams adopted a defensive stance. execution up front, the Hawks This definitely made for a lacklustre would have been celebrating their conclusion to an already uninspiring second victory of the season. match. The Mustangs opened the scor- Head coach Helen Stoumbos ing two minutes into the game on a was content, although she would free kick. like to see her team follow through The Laurier defense and keeper on opportunities. "We gotta finish," Rachel Zuiderliet were expecting a commented Stoumbos. "We had direct shot, but were fooled on a some great chances, but you can't meticulous pass re-direct that put win if you don't put the bail in the the Mustangs ahead 1-nil. net." A brilliant save soon thereafter When asked how the Hawks kept the Western team from open- stacked up against a tenacious ing up a two goal lead less than ten Western club, Stoumbos replied, A Golden Hawk soccer player staves off a Western attacker in varsity soccer action last Sunday. minutes into the match. "We definitely dominated most of The match saw the Hawks dominate, but unable to capitalize offensively, they settled for a 1-1 draw. The Laurier offense struggled to the game." get things rolling early on. After Despite an early miscue, the With speculation about the us to develop our game." opponents McMaster and Western, squandering a free kick deep in the team played as expected. "We Hawks ability to repeat their last Hodds also added, "We're doing who will be atop the standings come Western zone, co-captain Lorraine improved as the game went on," year's feat of national champions, a good job right now and I think we playoff time is anyone's guess. One Hodds made amends as she headed said Stoumbos. "Western is a high midfielder Hodds is quite optimistic. have a good attempt at repeating thing that is known: with a solid the ball past the Mustang keeper to pressuring team. I think we could "We're looking really good," noted our performance last year." defense and consistent net minding, even the score at one. have spread ourselves out a bit Hodds. "We have a good crop of With the Hawks already drawing Laurier will surely be a force down The Hawks settled into old form more." rookies and Helen has really helped even versus their two toughest the stretch. Men's soccer upset Western Anagnostopolous' new system works wondersforHawks

SANDY HOUSTON Western had a tough time adapt- physical strength and will to break Cord Sports ing to Laurier's new style ofplay and your opponent in two. If you were talking to the bookies their frustration eventually surfaced. "Patience brings results," main- last week, the odds definitely would Two of their players, Xavier Paturel tained Anagnostopolous. "Nelson's have been on Western. As it turned and Tom Perks, were both shown (Penelas) ability to be calm and slow out, Sunday's affair was a fine dis- the yellow card for ungentlemanly the game was the key to victory." play of skill and tactical awareness conduct. Such tactics were neces- Not all of the Laurier squad that saw the Laurier squad beat sary for Western to slow down the played with the skill and vision of both the odds and Western 1-0 to pace of the Laurier attack as their the back-five. In fact, Laurier's two capture three points. fullback line kept collapsing. strikers left much to be desired as Finally, after a slow start to the they were unable to effectively hold season, Laurier supporters have the ball. Jeremy Baker atoned for cause for celebration as the home earlier failings by sending in a beau- side displayed the skill both on and "It was a system tifully struck half-volley past the off the ball. Most notable for the Western keeper in the 42nd minute Laurier squad were Nelson Penelas that allowed of the match. Bakers brilliant strike and rookie keeper Mark Ignor. Both was only to be outdone by his post- showed patience, confidence, and us to exploit goal celebration - one done in tine maturity in controlling the pace of Premiere League style. the match. space and con- "We're definitely missing the tal- Although scoreless, the first half ent up front that is needed to consis- was marked by hard tackles and a trol the ball'' tently produce goals," said assistant relentless Laurier attack that saw coach Matthew Lauder. "Jeremy the home-side control about 80% of Baker is a big, strong player that the ball. Frank Anagnostopolous, can force the ball well, but we need Laurier head coach, made some While Laurier's mid-field three someone with experience to play mid-week modifications, changing did well defensively, Laurier's back- alongside him." the team's formation to a 5-3-2 from five of Penelas, Luis Fonseca, Mike "With the return of Joey Wey, a ISBISTOR the orthodox 4-4-2 system - a well- Burton, Mark Mathies, and Rob very talented and knowledgeable planned and successful manouvre O'Brien must be credited with creat- striker, I believe we will soon have front that will SIMON that likely won the game for Laurier. ing much of the offensive threat. that combination up "It was a system that allowed us Time after time they brilliantly produce results." the to exploit space and control the pushed the ball around, probing for It will be interesting to see if as PICTURE: ball," he said after the match. "If you open space to be exploited. Hawks can maintain this success unbeat- have the players, the 5-3-2 forma- Indeed, this sport is about confi- they play both Waterloo and ball-handling the Hawks to defeat Western Patient like this allowed tion can be very effective." dence and vision, not about sheer en Guelph this weekend.

14 September 11,1996 theCord {Sports)

MoreFootball one of the best linemen in the ttons in the fourth quarterthatput a Looking Ahead Adrian Thorne had a 100+ yard league and at this rate should stop to the Yeomen's comeback receiving game. The Warriors are Coach'sPlayers of receive a great deal ofconsideration attempt He also was able to knock Next week the Hawks are on the led by their very athletic QB Ryan for all satr honours down two passes. road to play rival Waterloo. Since Wilkinson and RB Jarrett Smith. the Game the two share the same stadium, the Waterloo also has a very strong Defense: Craig Mellow, line- Special Teams: Scott O'Hara, game will be played at University defense which is anchored by LB Offense: Phil White, Offensive backer kicker Stadium, Waterloo sits at 2-0 after Jason Van GeeL Coach Zraich real- Une The middle linebacker was the The man they call 'Heed' was three defeating Guelph and destroying izes what his squad will have to do White shone throughout the game leader of the Hawk defense that for three csx fieldattempts that saw Windsor in their first outing. Last against Waterloo. "We have to play on the line especially in the second came up big in the second half him hit form 27. 29 and 48 yards. Saturday at Guelph, the Warriors 60 minutes of football. On offense half when the rest of the offense against York when the offense sput- Hie 48 yarder was the longest one went away from their running we have to execute and play with struggled. The 4th year guard is tered. Mellow had twokey intercept inrecent memory for the Hawks. attack a little bit. Wide receiver pofee." Game times 2.00pm. In the Spotlight Mark Ignor

THERE AND BACK AND THERE AND BACK AND THERE AND BACK AND T^^D^K STUDENT RETURN FARES. from Kitchener/Waterloo to: Toronto $22 Belleville $51 Sudbury $91 Peterborough $42 London $20 Ottawa $85 Other discounted destinations avaiiable. Price does not include G.S.T. Pickups on campus for Toronto. Dropoffs also available. Flag stop points: Frank C. Peters Building (University Ave.) and Athletic Complex (King St.) at the Kitchener Transit Bays. Please see schedule.

_ ___ Surf to http://www.greyhound.ca/ ALEXANDER HOUSTON an excellent reputation, so I came 12TRAVELCUTS Greyhound Cord Sports here for that. But I also like the idea Student Union Building, 3rd floor Name: Mark Ignor that I'm close to home." University D()B:January2o,l977 Wilfrid Laurier 886-8228 15 Charles Street W. Kitchener 741-2600 Residence: Kitchener Q: What are your thoughts on Height: 6 0" being a keeper in soccer? Weight: 160lbs. A: "Being a good goalie is not about Q: For what teams have you making the big saves every now and played? then, its about being consistent. If WELCOME BACK TO ALL WLU A: "I have been playing locally for you can't be good all the time, then Hrvat for 3 years in addition to play- you're in trouble." STUDENTS! ing at Ressurection High School for five. I have also played for the Q: What do you do before games Ontario Under 15 and Under 17 to prepare? Provincial teams." A: "I like to think about the game on the bus, but the real business starts WELCOME TO ALL FROSHI! Q: Where have you played? when you step onto the pitch. Your Hi A "With the Provincial team I have mind has to be in it at all times." throughout travelled the United ' States, Costa Rica, and France." Q: What makes a good keeper? WE ARE W,ATERLOO S #1 choice A: "Intelligence and technical skill Q: What honour have you are the most important. You have to FOR GREAT TASTING PIZZA! received? as be as good the strikers with your ' A "I was named to the district 8 All- feet to be a really goodkeeper." JmbL JHBi Star team for three consecutive years and I have won two OFSAA Q: What are your favourite soc- bronze medals with Ressurection cer teams? WE OFFER FAST, FREE DELIVERY TO High School. Recently, I travelled to A: "I don't follow soccer actually. Chicago with Hrvat and we took sec- League stats and goal scores are not YOUR HOME, RESIDENCE OR TO ond place." important to me. The only team I'm truly interested in the Canadian THE UWIVERSITY- Q: What are your career aspira- National team. I find it more impor- IE HAVE 2 GREAT WATERLOO tions? tant to play different sports like bas- A: "Well, I'm in business administra- ketball and football than to follow LOCATIONS NEAR YOU: tion so I am looking forward to a teams like Juventus or Manchester WE ARE THE HOME TO TWOFOOT, I career in the stock broking business United." iso or maybe even my own business. If 5 bucks ' crust m \ 1 m lucky enough, I would like to Q: Are there individual players mm pursue a :=:rr professional soccer career you like to emulate? OI\I SEPT 9th, MONDAY NIGHT ALL in the MLS, but school is first on my A: "I do enjoy watching (Team mind." Canada's) Craig Forest and Tim 91 university jve E [atweberi YOU CAN EAT MADNESS IS BACK Flowers. They are excellent keepers. (op dine-in [come in fop our Q: What appeals to vou about I find it important to watch them in Laurier? order to improve my own skill and ail you can eat specials] BETTER THAi\! EVER! A: 'Well, the business program has technique."

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theCord September 18,1996 15 (Spoils)- Canada comes up short at World Cup of Hockey

JIM DONNELLY Night in Canada anchor and (if that hasn't happened already) are when their country won. As for the to do. Most of them always will. Cord Sports Commentary (between periods) righthand man to no doubt festering in many people s rest of the population, it's safe to say The fact that they have beaten It will most likely be considered the greatest hockey guru in history, terrified minds. that a win or a loss wouldn't make Team Canada at their own game one of die low points of our great said that the victory would benefit However, its safe to say that we much difference. Most Americans will simply reaffirm their view that nation's history. the sport's popularity in the long have nothing to worry about. simply don't care. the U.S. is number one in every- On Saturday, September 14, run. If Canada had won the tourna- This, of course, is an exaggera- thing, including things that they 1996, with die entire country watch- However, it's extremely hard for ment, the national response would tion, but not much of one. There are don't even enjoy It probably won't ing, our finest representatives of our any full-blooded Canadian to imag- have been a given. A series of non- obviously more than just a handful even come as a surprise to many finest game crumbled to allow die ine how the favour of a country full stop victory celebrations, medals of of hockey fans in the United States, who probably are unaware that hated United States to clinch victory of people who endorse Fox honour to the players, and a sharp but their numbers, while growing, there are Canadians playing in the in the first World Cup of 1 lockey, two Network's glowing, fire-trailing puck boost in national pride for all are really inconsequential when NHL at all. games to one. How depressing. could possibly be good for hockey. Canadians. considering a national reaction or The American victory in the Many would probably consider In fact, most hockey fans in But what about the reaction mood. World Cup isn't a benefit to hockey, die U.S.'s victory in die tournament Canada arc probably worried sick south of the border? The 20,000 or The truth is, Americans have but a tragedy. At least every other beneficial to hockey. After all, the about die potendal ramifications of so fans in Philadelpliia who attend- always viewed hockey as a bush- country competing actually cares United States only likes things it's die U.S. victory. Visions of a com- ed the games held at the CoreStates league sport for half-frozen about the sport and it's integrity. good at. Fven Ron McLean, Hockey plete U.S. domination over the NHL Centre probably lost their minds Canadians who have nothing better The U.S., sadly, could care less. This Week Other Golden Hawk in Laurier Varsity Results

Lacrosse was led by the strong performances with a lucky draw, due to the fact The Golden Hawks began their of the forwards throughout the that all 15 players had a poor game. Sports lacrosse season with a stunning game. With the Hawks 7-5 at the 'Ihe Hawks were in great danger of upset victory over the Carleton half, they increased the intensity in losing the game until late in the sec- Ravens on Sunday. Down 9-7 after the second halfand scored 21 points ond half when Brett Macintosh split three quarters, the Hawks scored to Brock's 6. Tries were scored by the uprights to tie the game. Tuesday Sept 11 five unanswered goals in the fourth Layne Gardiner, Jeff Hockman, Unfortunately for the Hawks, they Baseball Club Laurier @ Brock Saturday Sept 21 quarter to pull out a 12-9 victory. Hugh Neubrand, and Brett dropped down to Carleton's level of s:oopm Men's Varsity Rugby Laurier @ Bruno Richter led the way with five Macintosh. Macintosh also kicked play and neglected to follow the Toronto 2:oopm goals and was the game MVP for three converts. game plan. On a positive note, the Saturday Sept 21 Saturday Sept 21 Laurier. Billy Haskins chipped in Club side destroyed the Ravens dub Varsity Football Laurier @ lacrosse Club Laurier @ Brock three points while Nick Laskas, Sun. Sept 15 vs. Carleton side 21-3. Both the backs and for- Waterloo 2:oopm University 11:00am Craig Ainsworth and Bernard Laurier 3 Carleton 3 wards dominated the opposition Stadium Grizinie all had a pair of points for After a long journey to Ottawa, the Mike Lucas Saturday Sept 21 the winners. Rookie goaltender Varsity team could only come up Saturday Sept 21 Women's Varsity Tennis Queen's Karl Lippe had an outstanding game Men's and Women's Varsity @ Laurier and made many key stops to pre- Soccer Waterloo @ Laurier serve the victory. 1:00pm and 3:oopm Bechtele Sunday Sept 22 Domenico Magisano Park Lacrosse Club Queen's® Laurier 1:00pm University Rugby Saturday Sept 21 Stadium @ Wed. Sept 11 vs. Brock Baseball dub Laurier Durham - College 1:00pm (exhibition) Sunday Sept 22 Laurier 26 Brock 13 At Front Row Tons ofPrizes Men's and Women's Varsity Soccer The laurier rugby team began their Laurier @ Guelph season with a strong performance Bet there early! 1:00pm and 3:oopm against the Brock Badgers which resulted in a 26-13 win. The team 160 University Ave. at Phillip

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theCord 16 September 18, 1996 -(Sports)

Golden Hawk Athletes of the Week JjOL TWIST 'H' HAUSEN J

Craig Mellow and Karen Conboy

Men: Craig Mellow, football Women: Karen Conboy, soccer The 4th year linebacker anchored the Hawks Conboy used her magical footwork and ball Plan to dttend Twist n Hau Jn defense, especially in the second half, as the handling skills to keep the ball away from the Hawks defeated York. Mellow posed a prob- Western players thoughout Sunday's game. why capacity crowds return each year lem for the Yeomen quarterbacks all game. The striker was a critical part of the laurier He had two big interceptions in the fourth attack and will no doubt be counted on by quarter and also managed to knock down two coach Helen Stoumbos to provide some to our award wining festhcle. passes. His play came at a good time as the offense for her team. Last season saw Conboy Hawk offense struggled in the latter part of named an OWIAA all star, a feat she hopes to die game. repeat this season. I tf FRIDAY OCTOBER 111 Columbia IffiMw GRAND OPENING & KEG TAPPING FREE MUG W | TH AD MISSION| Medicine Centre •45 Columbia St., W., Unit 9 725-2640 SATURDAY OCTOBER 12 (Opposite Good Life Club)

" therapy covered by OHIP insurance * TWIST'N HAUSEN NIGHT PHYSICIANS / PHYSIO / ATHLETIC THERAPISTS / KINESIOLOGISTS i

— , | , | \ MONDAY OCTOBER 14 it. mmMf AMI L Y DAY CH |LDREN , 2 4 UNDER FREE WITH PARENTS hack I SPECIAL GUESTS THE FUNLAND BAND [ can Corner of King & University | WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 16 Monday Night Wing Special j THURSDAY OCTOBER 17 SPORTS. you 5 pm - 1 am OKTOBERFEST STUDENT NIGHT burger \/t lb. Sunday Night J FREE MUG WITH ADMISSION CORD £ fries special spm -1 am think Lunch Specials FRIDAY OCTOBER 181 £4 95 includes choice of • \4 soup, salad or fries GEMUTLICHKEIT NIGHT

you - If Monday Friday 'til 3:30 pm Thursday Night Wing Special

If 5 pm - 10 am SATURDAY OCTOBER 19 THE GRAND FINALE : CWi TODAWOBOEH YOUR TICKETS NOW TO AVOID OtSAPPOffIIMEW; I 'tH 2 am'"'* £111 OFFICE HOURS MONDAY TC FRIDAY 10:00 - 5:00 363 Days a Year Jyj 341MARSLAND DRIVE WATERLOO 519 886-7738 , , , y , ,fc| MI theCord September 18, 1996 17 ENTERTAINMENT Langen Gallery displays in-house artists Studio instructor Michal Manson discusses the relevance ofart AARON HUNTER due to the destruction of several of speak to the Cord about the place of Cord Entertainment Manson s works in a fire last March. art in society and her approach as On September 12, Laurier's Robert The pieces on display span a both an artist and instructor. Langen Gallery held a reception to variety of media, ranging from open an exhibition of work by facul- Joseph Liggett's intense rendering of What was the impact of the fire, ty in the Fine Arts Department. faces in pencil crayon and graphite personally and professionally? Department head Ilsa Friesen and to John Durst's lush photographs of It was devastating. It took a little gallery curator Teri Hranka both buildings, masks and rain. Sculptor while to break through that good old spoke briefly to the assembled Mary Katherine Newcomb con- WASP Anglican toughness, though. I group of students, artists and com- tributed work in the third dimen- lost ten of the biggest and best munity members, urging everyone sion- her 'Two-Headed Dog" sits on pieces of the newest thing I was present to enjoy the show and speak the floor just inside the door, calmly doing. . . When 1 picked up again, I to the artists. Originally meant to be devouring some hapless papier felt like I was competing with a solo effort by senior studio instruc- mache human figure. Her wry myself, andfailing. tor Michal Manson, the show was "Runaway Heart" is a sly, slightly expanded to include other artists grotesque visual joke in plaster and What do you think the role of beeswax. Other contributors include fine art is in a university? HUNTER R.B. MacDonald, David Magee and It's integral to a good liberal educa- Margaret Peter. tion. Ifyou're not in touch with visu- AARON This piece was originally intend- al communication, then there's liter- ed to be the first in a series of pro- ally a language thatyou don'tknow. files of individuals making interest- Exposure to art can hopefully make PICTURE: ing and outstanding contributions to the change to people buying a A detail of Michal Manson's "CUTS 21" in acrylic on canvas. art and culture, both at Laurier and chesterfield to match the painting, See it in glorius colour. in the K-W community. The not buying a painting to match the extremely impressive work on dis- chesterfield class or in general conversation. never been to the Langen Gallery. play at the Langen Gallery made it Talent implies an artist born with a Some don't even know where it is on seem foolish for me to fixate on one What do you think the role of brush in their mouth. The concept of campus. Some do know, but are artist while neglecting the others; all fine art is in society? talent also lets people off the hooh simply too intimidated to walk in the the instructors whose works are It's another voice, like another lan- 'Oh, I'm just not talented, so why door. One person I spoke to at the included in this exhibition deserve guage, that attempts to speak to us. even try?'lt's really about energy reception recalls being asked by a far more exposure on campus than It takes us away from our realities student if 'they were really allowed HUNTER they have received thus far. into someone else's perception, Does a two-tier, more commer- to come in'. However, this introductory pro- which is very individual It allows us cialized university system bode This is ridiculous. AARON file is on Michal Manson, an - to look up, look around, find the illfor Fine Arts? The Langen Gallery is a wonder- nent artist whose teaching experi- beauty. It also helps us to identify Fine Arts would, be in the upper tier ful resource meant for all members ence at Laurier extends back to the ugly in a world that appreciated liberal of the Laurier community. It's right PICTURE: 1967. Her displayed pieces all are education. Governments tend to dis- there in the Aird building, across the "Untitled", a work in pencil cray- acrylic on canvas, done in the dis- Is there any sort of critical regard the amount ofjobs generated hall from the Theatre Auditorium. on and graphite by instructor tinctive 'cuts and cracks' style she approach to art and creativity by creativity It's open 10-7, Monday to Saturday. Joseph Liggett. has been experimenting with for the that influences your work? The current exhibition of instruc- past three years. She agreed to I will not use the word 'talent' in Many Laurier students have tors' work runs until the 28th. Tea time at the Lyric

ROBIN WHITTAKER With chants of "Bring on the Tea rock bands, Chatwood played the Cord Entertainment Party!" emanating from the crowd, mandolin, keyboards, and the Perhaps Tea Party singer Jeff and East Indian music emanating hurdy-gurdy, while Burrows played Burrows looks more and more like from the speakers, a 12-string acoustic guitar and used Jim Morrison every time you see walked on stage and opened with a bow on his electric guitar. him. And perhaps the Tea Party their powerful "." Surprisingly, Burrows is one of the sounds more and more like Led The Tea Party's sound is smooth few guitarists to use this technique Zeppelin every time you listen to and alluring, producing a phenome- (Jimmy Page being the originator), them. But then, maybe there are nal intensity that draws you in and but as soon as he whipped out the only so many ways to be great. grips you firmly. It's entirely inten- bow, the crowd was ecstatic. What the Tea Party brought to tional. Burrows asked his audience In terms of both musicianship The Lyric last Thursday night was between songs "How's the atmos- and showmanship, it was, without a some of the best rock musicianship phere?" doubt, the most satisfying and enter- in the world, rivaled only by a small taining concert I've attended in quite collection of bands that include the some time. likes of Rush and, of course, later Hurdy Gurdy? While I did see them at Edgefest Led Zeppelin. this summer, the smaller confines of Opening the all-ages show was Burrow's stage persona is one of the Lyric made their performance so the fledgling band 100 Mile House. sardonic thoughtfulness. He seems much more satisfying. Playing its first live show, the five- to smile at his audience as if laugh- The Tea Party is currently member band had excellent dynam- ing at how they follow his every recording their third , which ic changes, but overall seemed far word and deed. During "The River," should be in stores early next year. too occupied with their playing, and he crossed himself, and some of the Said a confident Burrows, "I guaran- not concerned enough with the audi- female fans imitated the action. tee you'll love it." ence. Drummer Jeff Martin's drum- The band's next tour, Burrows Their singer finally loosened up ming style and bassist Stuart announced, will be acoustic. during their last song. With some Chatwood's lanky left-handed acro- An appearance on this year's more gigs under their belt, the band batics ensured that Burrows was not Much Music's Video Awards will be WHITTAKER has definite potential to do well. The the only attraction. For the girls unplugged. song-writing is frequently catchy, screaming "you're gorgeous!" he We can also look forward to a ROBIN and their music oozes a relaxed, may have been. Tea Party CD-ROM, entitled pensive groove. What sets the Tea Party apart "Alhambra." Available in October, it PICTURE: 100 Mile House left the stage from many other bands is the scope is reported to contain some acoustic with the singer's friendly words: of their musical talent. Refusing to tracks in addition to along with four Tea Party front man front man Jeff Burrows wails away on an "Nice to meet you all. Nice to meet restrict themselves to the standard videos. expensive looking Gibson at the Lyric last Thursday. See them on you." instrumentations of contemporary Muchmusic's Music Video Awards (for those of you with cable).

18 September 18,19: theCord {Entertainment) Sloan and their work ethic

AARON HUNTER promotional faxes ... A hiatus bro- radio single, the Monkee-ish Cord Entertainment ken, at least in this part of the coun- "Everything You've Done Wrong" is It was early 1995. Sloan, one of try, with a Beatle-esque rooftop con- ready to be released when "The Canada's most talented young cert at the opening of CFNVs new Good In Everyone" stops its climb on bands, was riding a huge wave of location on Yonge Street in down- MuchMusic's Countdown - a climb success over their second album, town Toronto. which has surprised everyone, even "." At the same Aside from that show, Sloan's the band. time, they were teetering on the appearance at the monster EDEN The new album itself represents edge of what seemed like extinction. Musicfest was the only other concert not so much a departure as a loos- Rumours flew: Sloan was breaking date I heard of all summer, despite ening up for Sloan. "We're losing up, and their last show was right the group having a new album to our fear of obvious hooks," Pentland around the corner. A few months sell, entitled "One Chord To elaborates, going on to say that later, the band had all but disap- Another". Pentland explained the excessive "subtlety" has tripped up peared, having retreated to Halifax dry spell: "Summer is not usually a the band in the past. "There's lots of to pursue separate projects and run time for touring. People are work- playing on the new album that we their label, mundenecords. Jet for- ing, spending their money on differ- wouldn't have dared to do on

ward to the present - Sloan is defi- ent things. We have been consistent- '' (Sloan's first LP)." He is nitely back, touring on the strength ly busy, just not with touring." He referring to the Brady Bunch seven- of a new album and a new lease on also admitted to summer being a ties pop shine that drenches a great existence. The Cord recently had an time of rest, regrouping and prepa- deal of the material on One Chord opportunity to speak with Sloan gui- ration for the stress and effort of To Another. "We would have tarist Patrick Pcntland over the touring. Summer is the time of festi- thought it was too cliched or phone from Halifax. vals, however, and EDEN was a chintzy." Despite a sickening amount of good move in at least one way: "It What is truly cliched, it seems, is media harassment on the issue, was great exposure. You reach the the musically unworthy "sludge" Pentl and graciously agreed to set same amount in one hour as you being churned out by some of the the record straight one more time would on a whole tour." Exposure is larger American guitar bands. Sloan about the supposed "break-up". still crucial for what Pentland wants their music to contrast "We were just taking a break," he describes as a "working band" living sharply with the last song you heard sighed, going on to cite "problems a reality far different from the image on the radio. To that end, production within the band" and problems with ofrock stardom. on this album was fast and furious, their American as One positive result of the hiatus throwing in happy pianos and trum- major factors. Unrelenting press seems to be an increased sense of pets as they were needed. "!t was a speculation and widespread panic self-determination within the band; really good time, with no pressure among Sloan fans caused the situa- Pentland claims that Sloan is from anyone," Pentland recollects. PIUURE tion to snowball "out of control", becoming "a little more cautious Any important influences? HLfc according to Pentland. "It came to a about what we commit to doing." "Supergrass." point where we were saying 'Do you Instead of burning out on the road Sloan's cross-Canada tour is just Sloan, from left: Jay, Chris, Andrew and Patrick. See their highly really want us to break up that or stretching everyone's physical beginning, with U.S. dates to be anticipated show at U of W's concert mecca Federation Hall this much?'" And so came the "hiatus," and mental resources too far, he added as soon as details of the Saturday, September the 21 st. Advance tickets $12. as it is officially referred to in Sloan points out a growing focus on the album's release there are finalized. music itself: "We'd rather be record- Pentland promises to "give the ing or writing." crowd a good show for their Questioned about the video for money," meaning the band will not "The Good In Everyone", Pentland totally ignore their previous material explained the process of elimination in favour of the new album. This is that took Sloan from racing in in spite of a certain discomfort over suped-up BMW's to parodying a going back to the old songs, which drug-deal scene in the cult film Easy "aren't really about where [Sloan] is Rider. "Our big ideas ended up now as a band." People expecting being whittled down into smaller, "" or "I Am The more possible ideas. The location Cancer" will probably be disappoint- that we found for racing the cars ed when Sloan rolls into U of W's was at Pearson Airport, and you Fed Hall on the 21st ofthis month. could see all the planes flying over. "We hate playing those songs," Andrew (drummer) said that it Pentland states bluntly. What fans looked like a scene from Easy Rider, can look forward to is some revital- and we just kind of went from there. ized old material, a lot of crackling The other idea was really just an good songs off their latest album, excuse to race around in BMW's, and the typical Sloan wit and life anyway." A video for the second that people have come to expect.

lljw dflWwL MiJLM 1 IWWA bwA miIMIM Where gcAPf to hang 112l ———■ | Thurs. Sept 19 I • Acid Jazz Meltdown with One Step Beyond at Bombshelter (888-4042) | • Blackwater 'Mo at Wilfs | 1 • "Ail In The Tuning", six one-act comedies by David Ives begins its run at | the K-W little Theatre. Call 886-0660 | ￿ "Nerd Night" at UofWs Davis Centre (surprise!) Room 1302,7pm

v . • •- . .. .. • . • - ft ■ • . • . } Fri. Sept 20 | • Shannon Lyon Pop Explosion (video release) at Volcano | ￿ Doobie Brothers, Kim Stockwood at Lulu's

| Sat Sept 21 | • Sloan at Fed Hall | • Musical Variety Show at Wills (with the Scared Weird little Guys)

| Wed. Sept 25 I *The K-W Symphony's Great Composers series opens in Theatre of the Arts, I Uof W. Call 578-1570 1 I ONE WEEK Rating AA 4 Hums, Sept 26 20 6, Nightly 7pm ￿ Liberty & at I Sj|Pt- -2 at p||m Guides Available in Wilfs & Student Info. Booth Iji Sliver The Bill King Quartet U of W"s Humanities Theatre. fcxcept Sept 25 At 9pm & UPTOWN, % Tickets $18 in advance. $20 at the door ! ONE BLOCK SOUTH OF BRIDGEPORT KING IN (, Princess St. W* Waterloo 885-2950 I

theCord September 18, 1996 19 (Entertainment A night out with The Cure

SEAN MOORE Cure don't often get the recognition to play, and they weren't about to the performance, which included anyone who left the arena could Cord Entertainment they deserve. At this point it does disappoint people for a second time many of the tracks off Mood Swings help but be amazed by the show. not appear as though the band is this year. as well as the bulk of the bands Adding to the Cure's mystique Think about the past twenty years ready to sit back and admire their The lights dimmed at about 8:30 repertoire from their previous was the amazing stage setup and of music history. Now try and think own accomplishments. The lights dimmed as the last few releases. light show. The lighting effects about how many bands in the cate- Performing live has always been stragglers filed into the already The set consisted of about 35 to added to the ambiance and emo- gory known as "alternative" music a major part of the Cure's continual smoky arena setting, and the five 40 of the Cure's best loved and high- tional quality of The Cure's songs. have continually created music popularity. At this summer's Eden members of the band casually made est quality music. Along with "Just I was breathless as I filed out of which has always been appreciated Music Fest the band played as well their way on stage to the delight at Like Heaven," "Friday I'm in Love," the arena, partly from the thick and has never Mien by the wayside as they normally would, but there screaming fans. and "Fascination Street", the band smoke that had filled the arena, but because it was considered the was a feeling from both the band Smith, who has recently devel- added "Like Cockatoos" and "A also because of the sheer power of flavour of the month. I think when and fans alike that the show did not oped a fondness for hockey jerseys Forest" to satisfy even the most the Cure. you consider things like this, then live up to its potential due to the con- was sporting a Maple Leafs jersey hardcore fan. Their twenty years live experi- maybe you will begin to appreciate straints of the festival setting. much like the one he wore at the They finished the night with two ence was quite obvious. Not a single the accomplishments of bands such They returned to Toronto last previous Eden performance. encore sets which included some of flaw was evident in the professional as the Cure. Monday night to atone for the Without a word, they broke into the their oldest singles like the Camus manner in which the band had car- Robert Smith, frontman and cre- incompleteness — in front of a sold first two tracks off the Mood Swings inspired, "Killing an Arab." It was ried out the show. ative force of the Cure, along with a out Varsity Arena crowd. There album, "Want" and"Club America." just past 11:30 when the band left The Cure have lasted because revolving number of bandmates has was no opening act nor was there a After playing these tracks Smith the stage. they are genuine musical talents. been making moody, melodic music curfew to cut the set short. The engaged in some small talk with the Three hours of beautiful music Their legacy speaks for itself in the for almost twenty years. Yet The Cure and only the Cure were there audience, before continuing on with had just been played -1 don't think words and music of Robert Smith. "Do we really know Musically Speaking.... what we're talking about?"

DAN KERR the media and record company First of all, we as consumers do not receive the media spotlight. of music is both a business and a Cord Entertainment executives are making what is have made the term "alternative" Artists like the Archers of Loaf and game. We as consumers are not There exists an oxymoron in our known as "alternative" more main- obsolete by making this genre of Guided by Voices are independent only the audience, but also active society today: the word "Alternative" stream. Artists like Greenday and music one of the most popular in the American bands who would fit into participants in this game. and its blatant misuse in terms of the Smashing Pumpkins are market today. the alternative genre, however a lot Email questions and comments to music. There are a greatnumber of known as alternative, yet the music Secondly, the "establishment" of you are probably scratching your Dan, at [email protected]. artists who try to obtain the label market is saturated by them; the has saturated the market with heads wondering who they are. alternative to make themselves term alternative no longer applies. artists who are considered alterna- I suppose using the word alter- "Musically Speaking" is a new more marketable and increase As we all know, the dictionary tive because being an alternative native is just too convenient for us. weekly column which discusses, record sales. For example, artists loosely defines alternative as artist sells more rccords. Personally, Unfortunately there exists a need to oddly enough, music and its many such as and Alanis "unconventional," and "another I prefer to use the terms "modern label all avenues of society including fascinating stories. I invite your ("...Never Too Hot, Never Too choice," something that is a "break music" or "progressive music," that music. It is apparent that the world comments, questions and criticisms. C01d...") Morissette have enjoyed from tiie norm." is ifit is at all necessary to label our recent cross-over success by jump- So if we term something as music. ing on the alternative bandwagon. unconventional, yet it is part of our Don't get me wrong, there is r fhis isn't to say that these are not mainstream pop culture, is this not such a thing as alternative, but most credible artists, however they both a contradiction in terms? Who is of these bands are either under- had to change pace to keep up in responsible for the misuse ofthe "A" ground or independent artists. They todays market. On the other hand, word? are not as marketable, and in turn October 11th- 19th, 1996 Hard Cord

ROBIN WHITTAKER Cord Entertainment

J want to be really lazy and scare people. like a crocodile.

1.Hie Buckfast "superhee." Nothing to do with Honeycomb cereal but oh so sweet. 2. Datsuke Inoue. Say it with me: "They've found him! They've found him! 'Itie inventor ofthe karaoke machine! Yes!" 3. The World Map. Betehya can't fit all the continents together. 4. Acrylic Who isn't grateM they learned howto polymerize aciyionitriie? 5. Bi(! Gates, Understood by all as the "super-geek," he's thatreally annoying guy that will oat-accomplish all ofus in time. Now he gets torub it in. Fault, 6. The San Andreas KITCHENER-WATERLOO Our planet's little way ofsaying tothe U.S.: "Easy on the world-domination thing, or I'll make an island outtayour west coast!" 7. Tesws Stand at a urinal at Quh Abstract and by the time you're finished youllfigure it out BHTOBERFEST 8. Martina Hingas. The 1.68 m babe that played tennis tournaments at the age of five. Now she's an elderly 15and man doesshe kick ass! ■ 9. Plaid. As say is to said, play is to plaid 10. MadvJ down. Iflimner was a post office, someone would be on a rampage.

20 September 18,1996 theCord (Entertainment) Ear Candy

With the greater effort, however, instance, and watch a drawn out In a recent "Access Hollywood" Out of Time style. This return to the comes greater reward. sequence of Reeves tying his shoes. interview, Reeves said of his band, less commercial style of older R.E.M. Lauren Stephen Click on a plate of roast beef and lis- whose heart and soul is singer-gui- is a definite improvement for those ten to Reeves give a technical spiel tarist- Bret Domrose, "I of us who were led to question our on his rig at a concert. was justlooking for something else." R.E.M. loyalty after the release of Some clips take you on a guided So will many music lovers, Monster. tour ofLondon Bridge Studio where because without a computer this Although this is a solid CD over- the band recorded this EP. musical trip is for the most part a all, there are a number of tracks Drummer Rob Mailhouse conducts forgettable one. that stand out as definite favourites. the tour, listing off bands who Robin Whittaker "Leave" has those poignant, painful recorded at the same studio, includ- lyrics that R.E.M.'s so good at, but Nearly God ing The Monkeys, Candlebox, and the song is somewhat marred by an Nearly God Tiffany. irritating alarm-like noise that runs Durban Poison/Island Moving the cursor without click- through most of the song; luckily it His name isn t on the cover, and ing lets you drop coconuts from fades somewhat while Stipe is nearly every song is a collaboration, DOGSTAR their trees, watch a shark swim singing. "Be Mine" is a happy, laid- but don't be fooled. "Nearly God" is Quattro Formaggi through water, or riddle a Freeway back song with lyrics that read like a a Tricky CD, and possibly the perfect BMG sign with bullets. In other words, cheesy love poem ("I want to be follow-up to his solo debut you have to see this CD yourself to your Easter Bunny. I want to be "Maxinquaye". The most critically Dogstar's hottest commodity for enjoy it. your Christmas Tree.") but suit the acclaimed album of last year, many may be Keanu Reeves. There was over 30 minutes of song perfectly when Stipe sings "Maxinquaye" defined "trip-hop" for For me, it was the CD-ROM pro- entertainment on the program them. There are a number of catchy, a mainstream audience and scored gram for Macintosh and Windows, alone. R.E.M. basic pre-Green rock songs: the Bristol producer a cross-over liit which describes itself as a "tongue- The music on this four-song EP is New Adventures in Hi-Fi "Departure" and "So Fast, So with his ominous reworking of in-cheek and somewhat cheesy far less impressive. In a regular CD Warner Numb"; as well as some bitingly crit- Public Enemy's "Black Steel". compact disc." player the band's sound is nothing ical tracks: "The Wake-Up Bomb" "Nearly God" finds him further Upon playing the program, your new, and only remotely catchy. Unless you're a music pliilistine, you and "New Test Leper". down the abyss; the boats are tricki- senses are immediately airested by What made the tunes intriguing probably know who R.E.M. are. "New Adventures in Hi-Fi" incor- er, the mood is darker, and the the fluid graphics and user-friendli- were the cheeses in the program. What you may not know is that their porates everything that was good hooks even more subverted ihan ness of the self-guided cross-country During the tour, when you click on newest release, "New Adventures in about R.E.M.'s old style, and brings before. This isn't feel-good music - band tour. Clicking on any of the various cheeses scattered through- Hi-Fi", hit music stores last week. it together to form something dis- beauty and ugliness collide into numerous items along the roadside out, you can listen to each song The music on this CD isn't particu- tinctly R.E.M. and definitely enjoy- mangled v\recks of songs, and you reveals video-clips. while watching its video and reading larly new or adventurous; in fact, it's able. have to work hard to enjoy them. Click on a rattle-snake, for the lyrics. very reminiscent of an older, pre- Erin Keatina

I 1 I I ! ! To get your own FREE STUFF, come to the i r cvpe stuff-•• I \\\U Cord Offices this week and next week and tell I

, i:r(>C StX®*'** , /pN I m y* It Robin, Aaron or Mel who your I ThalS atlC* L2Z=J FAVOURITE Canadian band is and WHY! I * i H'S * (Quantities are limited, so move your ass!) I

' j CONTEST SPONSORED BY

I 1 I I I James and Jen the Dining Out with M| V^IDEO IMO CASH VALUE L WITH THIS COUPON RENT ANY MOVIE AT REG. PRICE , Campus Court Mall GET Al\i OLD MOVSE Three Kretans University & Phillip Streets rpcr Waterloo, Ontario (519) 746-2578 EXPIRES OCT. 31 /SO I an opportunity '

Relaxing, informal and intimate. Wide menu selection. Private meeting and party space available. for adventure

&/u%x JAMES EATON AND leak), and there was complimentary Schnitzel ($9.95), and was JENNIFER MARTIN bread and Greek spreads. impressed with its delicious tasting Cord Entertainment Important to note: do not fill up sauce. Both entrees came with Winner of the 1996 Waterloo Chronicle Readers' Choice On a tip from a Laurier alumnus, on the free bread because there is a choice of soup or salad, roast pota- BEST DESSERTS/PASTRIES our stop this week was Three lot more to come. We started our toes andrice. 100 Regina St. South Waterloo. (Corner of William and Regina). 747-4261 Kretans, located at 151 Frederick meal off with sampling the Tzatziki Overall, the evening was very Street in Kitchener, just off of Weber appetizer ($3.49). This is a tradi- enjoyable. The atmosphere and Street (576-9091). Three Kretans tional Greek yogurt with grated good service added to the experi- specializes cucumbers, salt, oil two Waterloo Waterloo's Largest in Greek cuisine, but garlic and ence. A meal for with no booze offers other items of choice such as served with a grilled pita. James and tip included should cost around & Only COMPUTER C OMPUTER steak or BBQ ribs for those who are ordered the Caesar salad, (small $40.00 and is a great value for fans BOOKS BOOKSTORE! a little less daring. $3.99), and neither of us were dis- of Greek food or adventurous din- INC. After eavesdropping on an inter- appointed. ers. esting conversation between the For entrees I was the more If we have captured your interest &s|j I "Over 5,000 titles in stock \ "Computer Book Specialists waitstaff, we were greeted and seat- adventurous one who ordered the thus far, you might want to check wf 'Introductory through to ed at a table of our choice. After Moussaka ($9.99). The Moussaka is out the Greek night at Three " — Advanced Computer Science * perusing the menu, our waiter layers of zucchini, eggplant and Kretans which is on the last 1 Klna Street. U.(atErb) Mail & Special Orders Welcome politely offered to assist us with pro- ground beef baked then topped with Saturday of each month. This Sept. WAT E R LOO nunciation and house favourites. As a cream sauce which is DELICIOUS 28, 1996 will be the first of its kind with last week, pop refills were free and tastes even belter the next day. at this new location and promises to 746-6042 I I (the bottomless glass still didn't James ordered the safer choice of be an exciting evening.

theCord SeptemberlB, 1996 21 brain candy SUBMIT Site-ings 96.09.17 • 10:35:48 episode: Catch-Up cast: growing ma 1n character: gorfelgug gorfelgug: wily, crass, upstart Diner Chat Interests: computers, cftftiese food ub1 quitous sldeklck;-grai',zt^ The Relationship shady character: Saviour character not yet he the purple

teri white less dogs in her home, was appar- ently smothered by food 1 the and software: everything aval ; You made it! With died help 'fa$t #£# finally sweaty before could arrive. connection: not $s " ss 4ften' as would be pre- palms and a childish grin, you ferrednA j take your first step towards the Whining about wine format: revised, vl.l */MM- date of a lifetime! Your hair Close to 50 years ago, 750,000 looks good, your teeth are sesame members of the United Church of seed free and damn if you don't Canada were asked to pledge "art:|V|J || jyp smell good. Problem? Your themselves to never take a drink tongue just fell in your coke and again. (That's a lot of grape juice place: tbe\n1ddle of nowhere you don't know what to say! (Let at communion!) feeling: reserved anticipation alone, how to say it!) real feeling: unabridged dread Never fear. Diner Chat: The Animal crackers music: daunting Relationship Saviour is here to Elephants and grizzly bears are fade-away: gorfe's reflection: haunted, trembling turn your uncomfortable silences apparently at the top of the pay warning: 1t gets worse... into a great first impression. Each scale for Hollywood animals. week a plethora of witty and Alligators, kangaroos and rodents unbelievable stories, useless infor- can earn more than the average mation, and even the odd "funny" lawyer. given to you absolutely free, as What's the difference between I So protection from those nasty STD's a lawyer and a rodent you ask? (Stupid Talking Deficiencies) According to the Hollywood you want to be COOl? Reporter, "animals do not Kibbles and bricks demand to be paid extra if the Just recently, a sixty year old film is a big hit." (Unlike the actors You can be. woman died after four large bags on that "friendly" Thursday night of pet food fell on top of her. The show!) woman, who cared for 40 home- Innovative Photography, Artwork, Prose, Poetry, and more.

* 22cord@mach1 .wlu.ca • Jeremy's mailbox in the Cord offices

Student Publications has a volunteer opportunity for a:

; &ceatiae JmucA Graphic Solutions Manager Pleasing Students is Our Pleasure I

. Specializing in Fine Hair Care j Modern Styling and Ear Piercing Working with Publications staff, the successful candidate will have the Affordable Prices I unique opportunity to develop and launch "Graphic Solutions," the new 57 King St. N., Waterloo ! retail design and graphic services division of Student Publications. 746-2562 (Q) E. _

Your mission: Identify potential markets, develop a product line, hire and train a competent staff and provide high quality, value-oriented J.R. '* BILLIARDS INC. design and graphics services to our clients. 321 Weber St. N., Waterloo (Lower Level) Free Parking at Rear • Open 7 Days a Week For more information about this position, contact Now Licensed David Janzen, Vice-President, Operations, Student Publications 725-1589 at (519) 884-0710 ext. 3559 or djanzen@mach1 .wlu.ca.

Applications are available in the Cord offices (third floor, Student Union Building). Deadline for applications is Friday, October 4, 1996.

!

47 Erb St. Waterloo feel free to P art|cipate... (519)- 886-2540 All you can eat fish and 85 Erbs Rd. St. Agatha chiP s - ever V Thursday. (519)- 747-1700 Catering, banquets *

22 September 18, 1996 theCord ?RE-GAME BASH AT jf§| mm □ it's coming... SEFT.2B HOMECOMING '96

■ laurier vs. Windsor

TICKETS ON SALE STARTIN

$15 PACKAGE INCLUDES: T-shirt Game ticket PRE-GAME BASH AT WILF's - jPpiW§ j ■ tsm

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